• Member Since 28th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 19th, 2022

AliceA020


An average girl who writes stories and is always willing to make new friends.

Comments ( 33 )

This was really cute, but over too soon! :unsuresweetie:

I think there was more to explore here.

Nice characterization on DT and SS. Well done, :twilightsmile: have a gold star. :raritywink:

3249707
Thank you :twilightsmile:

3249823
Er, sorry. I'm still pretty new at writing, though I guess that isn't really an excuse :ajsleepy:
I just wanted to make this a short and sweet sort of thing

3249857
Thank you ^-^


~All of your feedback is appreciated~

3249898

Based on this, you're capable of more. Keep writing. I just thought it got to the feelz too soon. I wanted DT to earn that compassion. Especially since you've got that HUGE deal of her mom dying. There's really rich material here!

3249912
Alright, thank you. I'll certainly try much harder on my future stories :twilightsmile:

What a sweet story i give it a 9/10 :heart:

O.k., an intresting concept but one that could've been expanded. :eeyup:

Very sweet story. Well written, with a plausible explanation for Diamond's less than congenial behavior.

Theres a lot to explore here you should maybe keep it going, DT could become the pony we all know she has the potential to be with Violet's help

Great story, you've got potential.

Celestia's most famous commandment:
"Love Thy little Sister"

Across centuries, scholars wondered about this. Perhaps there was a personal component involved...

Aw, that was so sweet, my chest is starting to hurt... or maybe it's a stroke?

...Yup, it's a stroke, excuse me while I take a trip to the hospital.

You have an interesting premise here. It's the sort of idea I could see implemented into the show if there were actually enough interest to make a Diamond Tiara-centered episode. Your grammar, spelling, and punctuation are excellent, and you didn't waste any time with unnecessary details that take focus away from the main plot. You may want to watch your tense, though. There are several times you slip into present tense even though the story is mostly told in the past.

If I could offer some advice on the story's structure, I believe this story could benefit from two key additions:
1) Filthy needs an explanation as to why he adopted Violet. It doesn't need to be a complex reason, but the fact that he gives no reason at all makes it feel like an excuse plot rather than an actual conflict. Since this is the only conflict in the story, it's a pretty big issue.

2) Diamond needs more time to come around to her sister. Though you normally don't go into much detail for simplicity's sake, you go into great detail about Diamond's backstory and the reason behind her present behavior. You give her an established reason to hate the little sister, but you immediately throw it away, turning it on its head and having Diamond essentially forget about it. If you just want Diamond to immediately accept her new sister because of the realization that she was her sister, the reason she hates her needs to be petty, not deep-seated. When deep-seated issues are resolved through trivial means, it makes the character development feel a bit forced.

I'd call this story an Oreo cookie. It's small, it's simple, and it's sweet at the core. Decent snack for what it is.

Make the most!

3249823 iTs incomplete, give it some time:derpytongue2:

3255234

It was incomplete complete yesterday.

My scheme is working! :pinkiecrazy:

Is this it? Pls continue its great!

3255303
Nah, I decided to make this into a one-shot series ^^

Comment posted by Pinkshy Rarilight dash deleted Sep 26th, 2013
Comment posted by Pinkshy Rarilight dash deleted Sep 26th, 2013

DT see how you feel when you have a younger sibling. :rainbowwild:

How cute! :scootangel: Got anymore stories like this? :trixieshiftright:

3791677 Not at the moment, but I have another little one-shot planned and hopefully it'll be cute as well!

You've left yourself wide open for either a sequel, or extending this past a one-shot. I for one would like to see more. :twilightsmile:

Heart... Exploded... Love the developement for Diamond and that ending just made things better :twilightsmile:

Ah, so violets a their who conned her way into the rich household for the inheritance. How else could she have known how to pick the locked door to diamond tiaras room?

She locked the door... How did Violet open it? Oh god she's a witch!!!


Great story tho

I want a sequel.

right now.

SO CUTE!!!:heart::heart::heart: I love this, liked and faved,

on a side note: FINALLY!! I read this story before I had an account, but I couldn't track it in any way despite loving it, and I finally found it!!!:yay:

Like it, but the only gripe I have is that I'm pretty sure servants would do most of the things you had filthy ritch do (mainly the part where you had him calling out to diamond and violent towards the end) but that's just me nitpicking. As a whole, not a bad one-shot.:twilightsmile:

You know, I first read this story several weeks ago, but something didn't occur to me until now.

Here, we see Diamond Tiara gain a new little sister via adoption. However, one may want to take a look at both Filthy and Spoiled Rich, and then at Diamond Tiara. She looks nothing like her parents. With that in mind, is it possible that Diamond Tiara herself is adopted?

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