The Group Where the Human isn't a Doormat 1,138 members · 372 stories


This is for stories where the human isn't a doormat

The group for all those times you go "What? He gave up? Wretched coward!" or "Why didn't he rip that guy's throat out with his teeth?"

Two rules: Whatever you add, it has to include a human, or humans, as a main aspect of your story. Safe to say, if your story has the 'Human' tag it's safe to add. Second rule: The human(s) should not be a doormat. If you're new to the English language, take it as 'they shouldn't be a gigantic pansie'. This does not mean they have to be a Coldsteel-tier edgemeister, just that being submissive is not the theme of this group- rather, the opposite is. This isn't necessarily a HFY group either.

The prerequisite listed above is subjective. I trust that anyone adding anything has enough common sense to determine for themselves what being a doormat exactly means, but I will and have removed stories at my personal discretion.

Other then that, just, iunno, do whatever. The forum never gets used, but if you have something you want to impulsively post go ahead. No rules there, pretty much. If you have a question, or if you want to ask me personally if your story should be added, shoot me a message.

Comments ( 47 )
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I feel like this is a joke from the guy that made the your human and you story, but I'm glad to have found this group.

I'm saying that it is maybe a joke because in his group he had written

Feeling angry with a story in this group? Dislike how the humans are being treated? Need to cool off? Consider visiting some of the groups listed below!

in the description.

Like I said, I'm still happy to have found this group, I just wished I could have something in the middle of both groups. I have only read two stories of the your human and you universe, but it seems to usually include Applejack doing stuff with her whole barn of humans. It is just something I don't like, similar to one night stand stories and I prefer usually something where the feelings matter.

I like to explain some stuff so maybe you guys already know the right story for me and have a suggestion,

Does the character have to currently be human? Or does displaced count?

excuse me but i have a request of you. A very nice user called Nosferus has died recently and Nosferus said anyone could take up his story afterwards so i wanted to ask if you would so kindly take up this wish. I know You probably have better things to do but it would mean so much to me if you could keep his story of Don't Get Cocky for me and the rest of his followers it... it would mean the world to me

I can't tell if this group is right for my story or not.

[Percentage] Top Rated Fic: Arthur Saxon Beats up Tirek (By Mannulus) 2.2% Dislikes

[Percentage] Lowest Rated Fic (That's Still Allowed): The Guardians (By cobystone234)43.3% Dislikes.

The dislike percentage ratio of The Guardians is now actually 31.8%. 60 likes, 28 dislikes.
The dislike percentage ratio of Arthur Saxon Beats up Tirek is now 2.4%. 243 likes, 6 dislikes.

406742 determination is a force multiplier, and a very potent one, but it is not a force in and of itself...unless you have magic such as a green lantern ring, in which case it is. Ponies have some determination of their own. Treating the entire hypothetical war as if determination is going to be *the* deciding factor is...naive? Overly Simplistic?

Besides, look at the date I posted that. Now look at the date of the S5 finale. When I made that post, I had no reference for how ponies wage large-scale warfare, except to look at their abilities throughout the series and add them up. turns out ponies, for whatever reason, do not weaponize their theoretical total-war potential in a large-scale war, and they certainly don't mass-produce their best stuff. This increases the odds that humanity can win a fight with them, because total-warfare is the category in which ponies have the advantage. Which means, by the way, that we win because we happen to have more reliable firepower output, not because of determination.

Of course, if discord decides to help the ponies, we're screwed.

If Murica battles them, determination wins.

I don't mind humanity winning. I just don't like seeing humanity win for reasons that are blatantly untrue, like "our world is a deathworld (and Equestria isn't)".

Besides, Humanity does have advantages, which I'll readily admit to: we rely heavily on assembly lines to produce most of our goods, which lets us mass-produce useful things, while ponies rely more heavily on artisan production, and have been known to dislike assembly lines rather strongly, though they do have them. Ponies have random hax and toony durability: we have reliable firepower that happens to reach high enough levels to overwhelm pony durability. Ponies have a relatively limited number of strategic weapons that they can't necessarily use in all situations* : we have relatively mass-producible nukes which we can throw at any location we please. Ponies are curios and driven to design new things, but humans are even more so.

*Discord, for instance, could possibly be persuaded that for this much chaos, letting humanity and ponykind fight is well worth the risk to his friend's least if you get him before the Tirek incident. Come to think of it, keeping discord out of the fight somehow is pretty much required to have a story...

p.s. nothing in your group rules says that humanity must win, just that humanity needs to tear ponies a new A-hole. :pinkiecrazy:


Can anyone legitimately argue the case for any scenario where giant, technologically superior chimpanzees with automatic weapons could possibly ever be the push-over? .

I made such a legitimate argument, as per the conditions of your very own rules. your argument is invalid. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

404588 Pure heresy.

No offense, but this group isn't really supposed to be for
a. Misanthropes, or anything that says ponies could beat humans.
b. Intellectual arguments.

This is basically supposed to be a group that you visit every once in a while to see if a new human story (where the human isn't a doormat) has popped up.


I would argue that Equestria is a death world, we just don't see it as such because, well, the locals have evolved to be as badass as their surroundings. It's a death world via different means than earth, but it's still a death world.

Lets see. They have:

Flying tribbles that can eat metal? Check.

Creatures that feed on hatred and freeze everything if they get enough food? Check.

Creatures that feed on love and which do not, on the whole, seem particularly interested in negotiation, thus subverting your best defense against the above? Check.

Dragons? Check.

Other megafauna? Check.

Mega flora? Check.

Insane spellcasters who will make you fall in love with their ugly doll just because they don't want to be late with their paperwork? Check.

A casual reality warper who can twist your personality into a pretzel who sounds like Q and who isn't exactly sane? Check.

Dark magic amulets that gives the users power at the price of driving them insane, and which can be afforded by desperate people who take whatever work they can get? Check.

Random anvils falling on your head for no apparent reason, unless that reason is doing science? Check.

An amazing ultimate defense system...that requires 6 ponies to be friends with each-other and not under mind control or it doesn't work as well, and which it is difficult to find substitutes for if something bad happens to one of them? Check

Actually, ponies can potentially beat us because:
1. They're friends with a blatant, large-scale reality warper known as Discord
2. They can hold the sun hostage
3. They're the ones who have the inter-dimensional portal magic, not us, and thus have strategic control over when and where fights take place.

Ponies can beat us because they have too many large-scale cheats, even though we can probably beat them in most tactical engagements (though stuff like "want it need it" could wreck the day of any infantry).

Evolutionary wise, ponies are like this because their world is bigger and tougher than our own.

The only way we win reliably is if we assume that they can't use their magic very well when in our world a la equestrian girls, in which case they're still the ones with control over when and where the fights take place. (if the worlds are fused together, then they have the other two cheats)

403911 XD, I just realized this, thank you!
I've proofread this thing so many times! I have no clue how I missed it.

"Nothing with a main topic of insulting ones Religion is allowed. Be it Christianity, Jewish, Muslim, or anything else. Atheism too, even though it isn't really a Religion..."

I'm sorry, but I have to: Judaism* and, Islam*

396883 Well, I've changed it anyways...

397330 And isnt what I just typed?

397330 No, its alright. I was being sarcastic.

Stereotypical Russian Military= Unstoppable

Why yolo? Wouldn't it be more practical to just jump off the plane?

But seriously, I don't mean the trophy* as an insult, just something to spice up the homepage a bit. And hey, it probably got a single extra person to view your fic! :P

Frickin great. Thanks for the mother frakking trophy.

I'm going to yolo and jump off a plane. If I'm still alive, I'll continue.

Long live the motherland... Why? I saw the russian flag in the small group pic.


Don't forget that never in human history has there been a point that there was not a war going on somewhere in the world. The only thing that changes is which countries are at war with each other at what time. It doesn't help our survival that everything can and will kill us if given the chance. Hell, most things on Earth are poisonous to some degree and many cultures have several foods that were staple in per-industrial times but require a careful preparation process to avoid getting killed by it. Our medicine is just poison in carefully measured doses.

Then there is the lethal thing that really underscores the lethality of our badass Death World. A common cause of death is exposure. Basically, you have a high chance of dying just by being outside. Sure, during extreme temperatures and weather, but that is pretty much all the time so that detail doesn't lessen the point.

You know Catachan from Warhammer 40,000? That looks terrible, right? When trying to make a Death World, the writers had to make something so over-the-top because anything less is no more dangerous that Earth. We basically live in a Crapsaccharine World with a hint of grimdark and it's normal to us. That is part of why I like it when fics that have a pony on Earth emphasize how dangerous Earth is. Perhaps a good example of something ponies would be quickly killed by are gardens. When walking through a garden, we always watch the ground and leaves for dangerous animals and insects and poisonous plants, right? Ponies from Equestria probably would never think of any of that and they'd end up pissing something off that kills them either through venom or by spreading a disease to them.

I remember a short-story in an anothology in which an alien ambassador was killed by an infection from being bitten by one of those tiny, white insects that live in grass (the ones cow birds eat).

Speaking of disease, I don't think I even need to mention much on that. In fact, you know what hotzones are in biological threats? Areas where there are extremely deadly pathogens. How deadly? Well, walk through a hotzone, get a tiny scratch, and you're insides will have liquified by the time you die.

Why won't we have any alien invasions? Who would want to live here!? Who would want to piss off a species that dominates such world (though the war to keep our dominance still rages)? Ours in the world they aliens go on a dare and stupid alien college students video tape it only to panic in horrified terror as they watch the gruesome, agonizing demise of their friend. Those videos are then used by parents to scare their children into staying in school and to not given in to peer pressure.

P.S. We are natural animals. Beasts are non-sapient animals.
P.S.S. For the record, there is a difference between sentient and sapient. One does not require the other. Dogs, for example, are sentient, but not sapient. Humans are the only sapient animals we know of thus far. Humans are both sentient and sapient. I don't remember the distinction, though, pretty sure sentient is something about emotions and sapient is something about judgement.

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