• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Never2muchpinkie


Just your average brony who enjoys writing stories.

T
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Apple Bloom grew up without any parents, due to both of them dying before she got to know them. Despite that she grew up happy with the family she had left. She and Diamond Tiara had very different upbringings, though their family had been friends for a few generations before them. What is it that has caused this divide between the formerly friendly families, and can it ever be patched up? Talking with Applejack, who has a few of her own skeletons from the past to bury, she begins to see why she and Diamond Tiara can't get along, and vows to help things change. But even if she gives her rival a chance, will Diamond Tiara accept it?

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 130 )

AWWWWWWWW!!! This story looks so good! The wording is amazing and you described the death of Applejack's so well! :pinkiegasp:
I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the great work! :yay:

Diamond Tiara's upbringing is so sad. She got everything she ever wanted, but no one she needed. I noticed we didn't find out about the fate of Mr. Apple. Is this one of Applejack's 'skeletons from the past to bury'. I look forward to how the rest of this story will go.

4284531 What happened to him will be revealed in a few chapters, and in a way it is.

That's basically the gist of DT in my fic. She's basically like Babs. She bullies Applebloom because she's trying to turn her eyes away from her own problems and hurt. Her parents DO love her, but they're too busy trying to keep a good life for her to do it. By the time her mom finally does want to pay attention to her she's already dediced those feelings are just holding her back and doesn't want them anymore.

4286027 Now, that Diamond Tiara doesn't want their attention, her and her parents need an intervention.

4286195 That is also sorta coming in a few chapters. It's all part of the plot.

Poor Diamond, she does not get enough love and cuddles.

It's good, but you misspelled the title, which can turn a lot of people off. Feud, not fued :twilightsheepish:

We'll if that last line isn't ominous I don't know what is. Personally is rather be an Apple than a Rich.

Yay! I get first comment!
Okies, now that that's out of the way, here's my critique.
I'm really liking this story, mostly because I like your idea that Applebloom never got to meet her mom and dad (you should go on YouTube and look up the user Ink Rose. She has a good theory.)
Anyway, I liked the way you did the fight. I've always wondered if she would snap on Tiara some day. You've got a follower!
Hey, while you're at it, could you give a comment on my first story since I critiqued yours? It's at this link

Well, it's out there. The reason why Diamond Tiara hates Applebloom. Now, how does Diamond react to finding out that Applebloom's parents are dead? What does Cheerilee do about this feud? And is this an alternate universe? I ask because I'm wondering what episodes have passed and/or being taken into account?
In any case, keep up the good work.

4298646 The previous chapter dealt with things going from their childhood and ended with the cutecenera just to show how differently their upbringings were. When this chapter starts some time has passed since then. Enough time for more of their conflict to develop so that Appleblooms breaking point is more realistic. Right now it's a little bit after the Bab's incident.

DT's reaction and their fued isn't addressed in the coming chapter, but the one following it. In talking with Applejack it's time for those skeletons in the closet to come out, which is what teaches Applebloom something important.

Will they patch up their feud or not? Only YOU can know...or make a guess at least. Give me your idea for how parts of the story will turn out. I'm sure you won't be able to guess Applejack's past shame, as none of us would be able to imagine it based on what we've seen of her, and Applebloom herself can't picture it either. He he he. :ajbemused:

AJ: I ate the last Klondike bar and blamed it on Big Mac. :ajsmug:
AB: :applecry: How could you??????

I'm honestly surprised DT gave as good as she did in her brief fight with Applebloom, she's never struck me as the type to be active while Applebloom is constantly working on the farm and Crusading. I would have expected her first blow to be the last one in a fight.

Well, I've got an idea, have the two fillies swap lives for a week... Though that would probably count as excessive cruelty to Applebloom.

4299087
I'm not going to try to guess what AJ's skeleton is, except that it has to do with Mr. Apple not being there. As for the feud, before that can even be addressed, I think Diamond and her parents need to have a group session (hopefully in front of a counselor) about why Diamond is the way she is.

4299484 You're sort of right, and the issues between the two and the one between DT and her parents will as well.

Good news for you is that the majority of this story is already done. I got like 80% of it done in several parts, but for some reason my inspiration for it just mellowed and its been sitting in my unfinished story folder for months. Now I finally am finishing it up. :yay:

Well, what say I post the next chapter for you. Applejack really has to get some things out. Why should I torture her any longer?:ajsleepy:

I had a feeling that Applejack hated/blamed her sister for taking their parents away, but I didn't know it was her greatest shame. I should have though. I'm expecting that Applebloom isn't going to be able to talk to Diamond Tiara until after school...during detention for fighting. Plus, I think the other crusaders will get to Applebloom first.

this is good so far. I like what you came up with. The part with Big Mac chewing out AJ was really really good.
Keep it up!

Well, Applebloom had her talk with Diamond Tiara. Now, Diamond needs to have a talk with her parents. I hope that doesn't go as bad as I think it will go.

Nice work. I really like your expanding on Diamond Tiara's plight. You are actually doing something the writers refuse to do: make us care about Diamond Tiara.
This is reminding me of something that once happened to me in high school. I had to do a project with a classmate that I never got along with. Before we started, I laid down a rule: fir this one project, we'd put aside our differences and focus on task instead. We both got a good grade, and he realized he'd misjudged me. We never became what you'd call friends, but the olive branch worked and we got along somewhat better. He just found someone else to annoy.
Looking forward to the next one!

4305130 Hee hee hee. The next chapter does have that...but they way it will go is...not telling. Things aren't what they seem. They will get better eventually, and that's all I'm saying on the matter. . You'll enjoy the coming chapters. :pinkiesmile:

4305301 This story expresses my headcanon, that DT is not just the aloof high and mighty brat she makes herself out to be, but is hiding her insecurity behind an invincible facade. That's why I'm writing this story as it is, to show off a side of her that we as the audience never get to see. Her longing for love and affection and her busy parents have twisted her definition of what love is.

I only have another two chapters before the story is finished. Not that the story is only another two chapters but this was a story that I completed a lot of, lost inpsiration, and sat in an unfinished folder for like a year. All the other stories on my page were all completed after I had already gotten this far. The CMC in Manehatten story was the same. I got a lot of it done, than just lost my inspiration and finally finished it up.

Oh dear. I'm actually doing a CMC story right now, and it has Babs and an OC inspired by the handicapped pony that was seen in "Trade Ya". The OC is a member of Babs' version of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. My idea is actually similar to yours, except I'm trying to reform Silver Spoon. Please don't think I'm stealing your idea. I'd really gotten the idea before I even started reading your story.

4305386 It's not like my idea is super unique. Reform the bad guy is a common fanfic theme. I hope it turns out well. :rainbowwild:

Here's how I hope things work out between them:

"Apple Bloom. I thought about what you said, and I decided. I won't be part of your club."
"Bu—why not?!"
"I already have my Cutie Mark, duh! But, uh, if you, like, want to go grab a smoothie someday, then... Well, tell me? Or—or something."

4305301
My mother's a teacher, and her usual dealing with bullying is to force them to work together. Usually much, much more effective than handing out punishments.

4306512 I don't see why she couldn't join. The stated goal of the CMC is to help ponies get their cutie marks. Having a cutie mark already wouldn't be a hindrance in the same way that once one of them gets a cutie mark they'll instantly stop being a CMC.

4307677
Oh, she could! It's just her pride keeping her from AB's "dorky little club", quote unquote, but she still wants to take her peace offering. Baby steps!^^

You know, I'm gonna follow this story to the end. Not because I like it. Far from it. But because I like Diamond Tiara as a character. She's obviously under appreciated in the fandom, and not many people think she can be (excuse the pun) buffered! People and ponies alike can change. But the thought of a good conclusion to this piece of literature is up for debate, good or bad.

I will ask the author, do NOT make the fillies' relationship into a shipping fiction! It's not my place to decide this, but I have bad memories of shipping fics

This song was going through my head the whole chapter as tears leaked from my eyes.

Wisdom from the mouth of fillies. I hope DT takes Applebloom's words to heard and tries to change things.

4306512 I can see that happening to, good idea.

4308247 Well, to put one of your worries to rest I DON'T do shipping fics. If others want to make them that's their business, but I try to keep within the character of the show for the most part, only taking little liberties here and there.

So what's your opinion on the story? Based on your comment it sounds like you hate it. "Not because I like it. Far from it." Or did you not mean it to come out like that? Give me your honest critique.

My reason for writing this is that I think there is far more beneath the surface of DT that we don't see as the audience. I think her father's influence makes her feel inclined to impress him, like in Ponyville Confidential. She was a brat, but she clearly was trying to do the job like a businesspony. Do whatever it takes to get ahead.

This is actually making me think of Lucy Van Pelt from the Charlie Brown comics and TV show. Lucy is very rough around the edges and tends to mistreat her friends and her brothers, but there are moments that show she has tried to do the right thing too. For instance, in the Halloween special, she actually set her clock before it got too dark so she could bring Linus home before it gets cold.

Maybe Diamond Tiara has a reputation to maintain and doesn't want to seem weak.

4316459 What do you think is in the letter? And what do you think happened in that unseen bit after she talked to her parents? TELL ME!!!!!!:rainbowwild::rainbowlaugh:

Well, at least Diamond Tiara confronted her parents. I guess we'll find out next chapter how that went.

4316560 Just 2 chapters left. I just have a few paragraphs on the ending and a spell/error check to do, and the story will be complete. So in two days the saga will come to an end. I think you will find it most enjoyable.

I'm thinking it's a heartfelt apology for all the years. I personally don't think DT should become a member of the CMC, but I think after this, maybe Tiara will realize she does have a friend.
You should write for the show! (I mean that!)

4316986
4317098

Next chapter posted! I thought it was only going to be two chapters, but it's actually three. But now it's two, so yes only two more days until the end. The story is done and complete. :rainbowwild::pinkiehappy::heart:

Aw, I can't wait! Hey, do you think you could critique "Bully No More", my newest story? Thanks.

Diamond Tiara looked down at the ground. “Dad…Mom…I…um…well…” She let out a small groan. Looking back up tears were running down her eyes, though she did her best to hold them back. “I don’t care about this mansion and having a bunch of servants and a bunch of stuff. What I really want is YOU. Both of you spend so much time working I almost never get to see you. And most of the time when you are home you’re either still busy or too tired. I’m your daughter. Can’t we just spend the day together for once? Please?” She sniffed, wiping her eyes as she quietly wept.
“Diamond Tiara…,” Said her mother quietly, before the two of them looked at each other.

:fluttershysad: Uhm... why do I feel like crying? :fluttercry::fluttershyouch:

4319064 So you never answered me. Does this reaction mean you like the story a little now, or did you never hate it to begin with? There's only two chapters left, so I guess you'll give me your evaluation when it's completed Hopefully I can sway you by the time you're done. :rainbowwild:

I'm glad DT is getting the love and attention she needs. You know, now I can see some big colt transferring in and trying to bully Tiara since he thinks she's a wimpy little princess only for Applebloom to jump him with Tiara and they beat the stuffing out of him or vise versa with him teasing Applebloom because she's a blank flank. And yes, I am trying to give you a bunny again, it would show how the two have changed thanks to the events of this story.

4319203 I never said I hated it, but I didn't say I like it either. I could easily forget the words to this story because almost nothing sticks out. Forgetable does not mean I think it's bad, but that it's bland.

But maybe I'm judging it to soon. I let you finish the story first before I give my full review on it. Consider these body paragraphs a first impression.

D'aaaaaaaaw.
This chapter was so full of feels.:pinkiesad2:

OMG OMG OMG I..I..I'M GONNA CRY!:raritydespair: :raritycry:

poor Applejack :ajsleepy: Applebloom :applecry: and the rest...

4319980 Well, at least part of it couldn't have been too bland if it made you feel like crying. But yes, why don't we leave your full opinion on things for after the story is complete.

Aw! What nice imagery. I really hope the two of them can bury the hatchet. Never2muchpinkie, you are quickly becoming one of my favorite writers on the site.

Well, I can't see DT and Apple Bloom hanging out all the time, but I can see them rebuilding their families' legacies together.

Now why won't the show do this?
I smell a sequel! Write what happens when Diamond Tiara tries to get Silver Spoon to join!
I'm actually coming up with an origin for her cutie mark in my own story, Bully No More.

4326971 I'm glad you enjoyed the ending. :pinkiesmile: I never thought about a sequel. I just wanted to put that in because they're a duo. Once DT joined the CMC Silver Spoon would have to notice the change, so I wanted to show that she wanted to make a true friendship with Silver Spoon.

I'll try to read your story today. I've been a little preoccupied lately. If you're interested in CMC stories I have another one where they go to Manehatten to visit Babs and they confront her old school bully and she learns to stand up for herself. Check it out if you're interested. :pinkiehappy:

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