Here's a list of how I've fucked up folks. A tip of a hat to Lord Solaris Pentacost
1: Get Microsoft Word, and listen to everything the spelling and grammar checker tells you.
2: Study English. Grade school these days doesn't do it justice. There are guides across the internet. Read them.
3: TvTropes. Good website, it'll show you the building blocks behind stories. Knowing them will help.
4: What you want to write, might not be what people want to read. The key balance there is to figure out what people like to read and what you'll be comfortable writing. Military stories (and dark stories for similar reasons) are always very confronting and tend to make readers uncomfortable. In fact, this link will explain why.
The usual excuses here are "I do what I want" and "It's art, I don't need to explain it". Thing is, you're posting stuff publicly, for people to look at, so on some level you want it to be popular. I can tell you right now, comments praising your story are the greatest thing ever.
Finally, your major malfunction, and the reason I don't like you. You're posting a story to a group of around 700+ people, every time you do that they get a notification. Suddenly, those people wonder if Chengar or someone else has posted another incredible story, or an interesting topic on the forum. Instead they get you. Every time you do that, you tell people to turn those notifications off, and so they end up missing the very stories and topics they joined the group for.
In short, you're spamming them, Ebony.
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Tea God bless! God loves you, now and forever.
Celestia, I don't care whether or not you approve of my outlook!
+ follow. Is cool pone