• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 56 minutes ago

Admiral Biscuit


Axe Body Spray: Confounding ponies since 1983.

T

A random collection of prompt-driven one-shots. Each has been lovingly hand-crafted.
The subjects are as diverse and colorful as the ponies which they describe.
Oh, who am I kidding? The proof-reading was perfunctory, at best.

Chapters (8)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 47 )

hahaHAhahahahaHA:rainbowlaugh:
So funny. Although It made me wonder what were their plans after they got their "primary targets".

Also I think I found a mistake.

The unicorn weren’t much trouble, either. She was sittin’ by herself, running her hoof across the floorboards. Seemed kinda lost without her friends to tell her what to do. I think she’s a little slow.

I think you meant wasn't too much trouble.:twilightblush:

~Leonzilla

propped against the wall of the mind.

I think this should probably be "the wall of the mine".

3629650
Looks like the speaker is meant to have an accent. In which case the "weren't" may have been intentional. :twilightsmile:

But I guess that's up to the Admiral to decide. :twilightblush:

--Sollace

3629962

I think this should probably be "the wall of the mine"

fixed; thank you!

3629650

unicorn weren’t much trouble, either.

The narrator was supposed to speak with a dialect*; I had a mind to give it a bit of a Western feel, but with airships and ponies.

3629650 No, the story is told in vernacular, so "weren't" actually fits the linguistic style.

And I'm thinking Red Chief would be proud. :trollestia:

3629962>>3630382>>3639598

hummm... Interesting, is that similar to the use of "ain't" which is the way some areas tend to speak?

3639960

Kind of similar. There are various regional dialects which feature 'improper' words. In the rural high school I attended, one of the common speech patterns was to substitute the word "them" for "they," such as "them are trump."

I actually took notes on my classmate's speech patterns for later use in stories.

"Try emphasizing the ‘that’s.’ "
If I'm reading following part correctly that probably should be 'thats.'

3715430

You are correct! I can't edit on my phone, but I'll fix it later.

EDIT: now corrected.

"ponies who might be trampled underhoof if they were to cross the street unawares."
"The hedge maze isn’t her first choice of destinations,"

Run Lola* Princess Run.

*Only to be watched with subtitles, english dub is horrible.

3727470

I thought I corrected 'unawares' in editing. Must have missed it.:pinkiehappy:

Run Lola* Princess Run.
*Only to be watched with subtitles, english dub is horrible.

Agreed. You know, wasn't even thinking about that movie when I wrote this . . . but now I am.

This was very nice, I like how the identity of the pony is unknown until the very end. :rainbowkiss:

Around a corner, and she’s back on the main street

:twilightsheepish:

--Sollace

A German story?! Fur mich?! Das wäre doch nicht nötig gewesen! :raritystarry: (You shouldn't have!)
Only two things: "Fraulein," und "Ordnung." All German nouns are capitalized.

This short stories from you still manage to blow my mind.:rainbowderp:
i.imgur.com/T4BrSwO.gif

~Leonzilla

The nice thing about these prompts is that occasionally you get something like this.

This is the start to a great story. It's maybe not intended to be, but could you continue it?
I'd love to see what happens. :fluttercry:

--Sollace

I had 4 years of German is school, finished with ~'miserable'... Horrible language, no offense I simply couldn't get into it.
Wo bist du? - is "where are you?" that I remember.

Your character probably should have said "Sie hat ein Geschenk" if she didn't intend plural "you" or maybe "Wir haben..." if she wanted "we have a gift"(for the language) but I have an impression that her grasp of the language is somewhat weak :rainbowlaugh:

Other sentences go beyond my fleeting memories of first lessons with declension of be/have/do. :)

3912470

All German nouns are capitalized.

Huh. Never knew that.

3925642

have an impression that her grasp of the language is somewhat weak

Yes, which is part of the reason I didn't have someone who actually spoke German pre-read. It works better if it's wrong.

Clive Cussler (the author) was in France once, and someone said something to him in French. He responded, much to the man's confusion, "Vous ne parlez pas francais," which translates to You don't speak French. Language mistakes are funny.

3915829

The best I can offer is to say that I'll consider it. I mean, I pretty much make the story on the fly with the prompts, so there's rarely any character development at all. In this case, I don't even know the names of the characters. Since I tend to like writing character-driven stories, that's a big handicap when it comes to coming up with a plot.

That having been said, ideas often float around in my mind until some other idea clings onto them; if this is one of those, then I'll give 'er a rip and see what happens.:pinkiehappy:

3972126
I can understand that, Creationism is also character-driven. I tend to also mull over the ideas a bit before getting it written down. Then even after that I still go back and change it a few times.

I look forward to what comes out. :twilightsmile:

--Sollace

Ah, the joys of an abandoned coal mine, even when active they have a knack for killing miners. :rainbowwild:

That "master architect" there is sadly found often in real life. :facehoof:

4379479
CMC Bureaucrats, yay!

Now that would be an epic story....

4379633
So sadly true. I can understand the appeal to the young colt all too well; when we were kids my brother and I used to play at an abandoned factory that was a few blocks from our house.

Run fast, don't want to miss raising the sun, then all the ponies will complain about needing to reset their clocks. :trollestia:

4379834
It was partially a dig at 9/11 Truthers . . . right before I wrote that section, I'd gotten in a big argument with someone online (yes, it went as well as you can imagine).

4379883
Yeah . . . when I read the prompt, it was the first thing I though of. My grandmother visited Germany in the thirties, before things really got ugly over there, and I knew enough German to fake my way through most of it. It's the kind of thing I could see happening--or having happened--in Equestria.

4379924 That would be a disaster worse than an extinction level event. :rainbowlaugh:


4379929 If I went into an abandoned factory I'd leave with every little bit of old machinery I could find. :raritywink:


4379946 Online arguments are fun, when you're on the side-lines with the popcorn watching, and not actually in it. :derpytongue2:


4379977 Yeah, I can see it too. I can see it very well actually...
derpicdn.net/img/2014/2/17/554626/full.png

(Though this is the earth pony master race version. :rainbowwild:)

4380020

Though this is the earth pony master race version

Or maybe these from the show . . . and let's not forget the Royal Guards; there are a suspiciously large number of blue-eyed white-coated stallions.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130218084132/mlp/images/3/32/Crescendo_ID_S3E13.png

4380137 Yeah, but somehow I don't think those mares have the swastika cutiemark. :rainbowwild:

... Or are as glaringly bright blonde and white.


Isn't it canon that the Royal Guard's armour is enchanted to make them look like that? Celestia must be part Nazi. :moustache:

No matter, grey will always be better. :raritywink:
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/142/8/4/octavia_evening_gown_commission_by_longinius_ii-d6666gp.jpg

Octavia my love. :heart:

:derpytongue2:

4380180

Isn't it canon that the Royal Guard's armour is enchanted to make them look like that? Celestia must be part Nazi

I don't think it's official canon. We've seen one earth pony guard remove his helmet, and his mane matched the crest on the helmet, and of course we've seen Shining not in armor, but that could be coincidence.

Based on the variety of colors that the ordinary ponies have, and the very few different colors the Guards have, I do think that their armor is enchanted, but it has not been confirmed in canon, to the best of my knowledge.

4380222 Hmm, I thought it was canon. Either way though, I agree that it's the most likely explanation, seeing as how finding that many identical stallions would be near impossible with what we know of ponies and their colour patterns. :rainbowwild:

I think the link to "Associated Blog Post" goes to the wrong place. But otherwise, fun. I shudder a bit when my Visualization of the Cosmic All gets to grown-up Crusaders + Pinkie Pie.

4379929

When I was a kid, I spent 3 years as an Air Force brat at Johnson AFB in Japan (one of the bases taken over by the US during the Occupation). At the time the AF was gradually pulling out of the base and turning it back over to the JASDF, which meant that large parts of it were unoccupied. Perfect for an 8 year old kid. Dozens of Quonset huts, including what had been the base Hospital, decaying frame buildings, lots of deserted nooks and crannies - it's amazing that I lived through it. Much fun was had.

JASDF still has a base there, but most of the parts I was roaming free in have been turned over to civilian use and the buildings have been razed, alas. Old military bases are great fun. A few years ago I got to give a talk at Brookhaven National Lab, which was built to the same standards, decaying old wooden two-stories and all - to serve cutting-edge physics researchers with world-class research hardware on the same site.

5732262

I think the link to "Associated Blog Post" goes to the wrong place.

You're right. Odd. There is no blog post for this story, and never was.

Perfect for an 8 year old kid. Dozens of Quonset huts, including what had been the base Hospital, decaying frame buildings, lots of deserted nooks and crannies - it's amazing that I lived through it. Much fun was had.

In the small town where I grew up, there was an abandoned cannery a few blocks from our house--easy bike-riding distance. No fences, security patrols, or anything like that. Just lots of concrete to ride the bikes on (loading docks were fun!), and plenty of broken windows to let us get inside.

3639598
Someone else thought "Ransom of Red Chief" while reading "Getting them." Huzzah! :scootangel: :applecry: :unsuresweetie:

"Do Not Enter" could become the start of some sort of post-apocalyptic renewal story, I think.
How much time had passed, that the village forgot about the coal mine? If they happen to have a blacksmith (who could also be a farrier) they'd want coal for the forge--even if it was the soft bituminous type described. Even soft coal burns hotter than wood.
Having a coal mine about five miles away could eventually turn that village into an important place. There'd be a sombre time when they found those nameless victims--maybe they'd name the mine for them? "The Lost Fillies" or something.
Bravo on not only knowing what an adz (alt: adze) is, but how it was used and what sort of marks it left. Nice researching!

(Maybe Zecora can provide a catatonic?> :trollestia: :facehoof: <Princess! That pun stunk!)

The only power greater than that of an alicorn princess: The Schedule.
Of course, nopony will ever ask where she was or what she was doing that made her nearly late at her own show. :trollestia:

5878994

"Do Not Enter" could become the start of some sort of post-apocalyptic renewal story, I think.
How much time had passed, that the village forgot about the coal mine?

It could be, although I wasn't thinking of it that way. I was imagining that the mine played out, or else it wasn't safe. The way I imagined it, all the locals would know it had been there, but that it had been closed long enough that nopony really thought much of it any more.

If they happen to have a blacksmith (who could also be a farrier) they'd want coal for the forge--even if it was the soft bituminous type described. Even soft coal burns hotter than wood.

Only if her forge would still take coal--otherwise it's pretty useless. I've seen abandoned ore processing facilities up north, and some of them still have iron-bearing rocks scattered around (presumably dropped during transportation) that aren't valuable enough for anybody to bother with. I'd imagine if you walked along the railroad tracks in the Powder River Basin or in the Appalachians, you could get all the coal you'd want--but what would you do with it?

Having a coal mine about five miles away could eventually turn that village into an important place. There'd be a sombre time when they found those nameless victims--maybe they'd name the mine for them? "The Lost Fillies" or something.

That's true--the alternate view is that more modern mining techniques could make it a productive mine again. It would make for an interesting continuation if they did, and they discovered the bones of the lost fillies inside the mine.

Bravo on not only knowing what an adz (alt: adze) is, but how it was used and what sort of marks it left. Nice researching!

Thanks!

5880043

The only power greater than that of an alicorn princess: The Schedule.
Of course, nopony will ever ask where she was or what she was doing that made her nearly late at her own show.

Technically, I don't think she could be late for her own show, since the sun won't rise until she tells it to.

Why did it stop in 2014?

8286093
The prompt a day group kinda fizzled, unfortunately.

The way the folders were grouped, it was stories for prompts 1-10, 11-20, etc., so that's how I made my stories.

And then I wound up having other things I wanted to do, so I never went and did all of them. Every now and then I think about picking up where I left off and doing a few more.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!