• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Admiral Biscuit



After a long day of delivering mail, Derpy relaxes on a cloud on her way home to Ponyville.

As read byThe Living Library Player Society! (YouTube)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )

[Only because I never get to do this often!]

Anyways, this was very enjoyable! Great job! :derpytongue2:

Simple and clean.
It's perfect.

"And then she jumped."

I thought Derpy was commiting suicide.

But then I remembered she had wings. :derpytongue2:

Deep thoughts, from Derpy. :twilightsmile:

I like it!:twilightsmile:
Short and sweet. Perfect for when fics more than a thousand words seem like a chore. But I wouldn't mind some more Derpy now.

Stay warm.

Excellent story. Short, but excellent nonetheless. Mighty fine job, Admiral Biscuit. :ajsmug:

One minor error I found: I'm pretty sure "Los Pegasus" is spelled "Las Pegasus."

it was wonderful, i loved it:pinkiehappy:


I thought so, too, but on the official map, it's Los. The wiki said it was Las prior to the map, so I guess either is correct....

1684209 Ahh, I see. If that's the case, then either is correct. I could've sworn it was "Las Pegasus" on the The Hub Facebook page. :facehoof: But it's probably changed since then. But there is no point in discussing it further, as I said, it was a very minor error. :scootangel:

Honestly, now that I know both are correct, I think I'll use Las from now on; it looks better.

1686967 Yeah, that's what I would do, assuming that "Las Pegasus" is based on "Las Vegas." Almost all the other towns/cities are based on real-world locations, so I would say it's a safe bet. I think we're over analyzing this, though. :facehoof:


I love overanalysis. I changed it to Las. It looks better that way.

1690230 Better to over-do it, than to under-do it, in my opinion.


Ya know, I've been going over my stories, and you're the first to comment on my first story. I feel that deserves some love.:heart:
Thank you. When I'm a famous author (ha!), you can look back, smile, and say "I gave Admiral Biscuit his start."
What? It could happen....:duck:

LOL! I don't doubt that you'd become a famous writer someday! Just don't forget us little ponies when you do! :derpytongue2:

This. Why aren't there more stories like this?

A faint rainbow could be seen in that cloud cover, and she struggled to remember what it was called. Was it a moonbow, or was that too obvious?

It doesn't fit the mood, but I still like it.

Sweet, simple and profound.

Like Derpy.

So this is where it all began? I like it.

This is a wonderful little piece to read midday, when my first bout of work is done. The pacing is nice and contemplative, and the picture you paint with words is calming and peaceful. I like the small details you throw in, such as the sinking table. Mood-wise, it fits well with Derpy's official characterization without delving into some of the fanon interpretations, which to me was a subtle but important part of the story- it left the focus on the mood and not so much the character, which felt like the entire idea.

Just what a short should be- an exploration of an idea or feeling, and such a nicely-done ending to it!


Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

This was good, but the ending really made it stick out to me.

Thanks for the good story.


Thanks for the good story.

You're quite welcome!

Perfect before-bed tale. Simple, short, and heartwarming. :twilightsmile:


You know, this was your first story and I was your first comment, but I never faved or up-voted this.
Here, let me fix that. :derpytongue2:
Keep up the amazing work, mate [and sorry about that. I forget to do that, sometimes]!

Thanks! It's been a fun two years.

Well this was a thing. Short, sweet, just a pony relaxing and musing. Good rainy day read.

Yep! What I said on t'other fic.

Login or register to comment