• Member Since 24th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 16th, 2022


"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be."– Clementine Paddleford


Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Immortal rulers of Equestria, shepherds of the Sun and Moon, and arguably the most powerful beings in existence.

Even they are not immune to the dreaded rivalry that comes between sisters. Feeling her sister has gone soft over the millenia spent alone, Princess Luna challenges Princess Celestia to the one and only Iron Pony Competition.

Which sister will come out on top?

Now with fanart! By Soulite1110

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 155 )

All my likes, you can have!

3336621 I'm glad you enjoyed it! :raritywink:

Wow, that was HILARIOUS! I'm glad you wrote it and I'm glad I read it!

P.S: I liked the ending the best (although I have to admit I saw the tie coming. :twilightsheepish:).

Why is Luna still using the royal "we"s and such? I thought she dropped that. :duck:

3336827 She does it occasionally for the royal effect, in my personal headcanon, but uses normal English the rest of the time.

3336830 Well, she did use normal pronouns when she was speaking to Celestia at the beginning, I guess that makes sense.

I wish I could like this over and over every time a read it! Done wonderfully. For you a :moustache:

I liked the end where Celestia did her signature trolling :trollestia: it also makes sense though with what Twilight said. Celestia's mind vs. Luna's muscle. I wish I could see Luna's face as well.

Again, awesome! :pinkiehappy:

3336853 Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it :trollestia:

It has come to my attention that this fic is to be apprehended and examined, and as its creator, you are to be held on the following charge -

Comedic sense that is somehow innocuously nefarious (possible witchcraft?)

Exhibit A - The scene to which the prosecution first calls attention, Dancer (Midnight, D) is in which hearty euphemisms pertaining to the princess-buckability of one Pinkie (Pie, P) and her alarming willingness. [Implications of witchcraft?] The prosecution further raises the point of both princesses being involved in this lewd public display, which is than further made degenerate by the addition of rope. Such evidence leads this court to decide that you DID INDEED SMIRK KNOWINGLY WHILST WRITING THESE SCENES, DANCER. SHAME ON YOU.

Exhibit B - BIG. BRASS. BALLS. Seriously, this one needs no elaboration, and merits no feasible legal defence. As such, a warning has been issued to the defendant (Dancer, M - suspected witch). Another such instance of BIG BRASS BALLS in any form, alluded or otherwise will result in the defendant being found in contempt of court. [She must've had BIg Brass Balls of her own to risk being tried in this court, hmph!]

Exhibit C - Tormenting Rarity. Actually....we got nothing. Defence wins that round fairly solidly.

Exhibit D - Snowflake. "YEAAAH!" - The prosecution rests (not really, it just wanted to say that.)

Exhibit E - Dat Ending. Aka, "Nuts." See Aforementioned Big Brass Balls warning.

This court summarily finds you, Midnight Dancer (confirmed witch) to be acting full-well with conscious, premeditated intent at being dastardly clever, peddling pony-werds of the most amusing (and lethal) sort, and to be endangering millions of lives with your reckless use of Pinkie/Princess euphemism. You are hence found guilty of all charges.

The sentence is cookies. But no chochlate chips ones! And oreos to be allowed only after a succesful parole hearing.

3336914 goddamn ambi, i love you :heart:

(In my defense, the 'big brass balls' was a reference to, you guessed it, some large brass balls on display at The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, PA.)


It seems well apparant than that this is where our next case is. Philedelphia will stand trial for immature humour and poor civic taste.

3336927 It's Philly, dude. They're not gonna try to fight that, they're gonna ask for a copy of the conviction so they can frame it.


Balls- is dragged off in shackles.

An impressive story to be sure. All that humor and it just made my day, and I like stories that can make my day since my day is mostly boring without those. :pinkiehappy:

That was a wonderful story. And that bit where Twilight tries to turn it into a Friendship lesson and fails was adorable.

3337198 Adorkable Twilight is best Twilight.

I thought this was going to be an adorable, short, little one-shot before I saw that it was 10,000 words long. I think I'm gonna enjoy this!

3337366 haha yeah it kinda got away from me

I expected it to be an adorable little 5k one-shot myself

FIMfiction needs more stories like this one. This is a great story (and needs to be an animated episode!)!! :heart::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::moustache::ajsmug:

3337569 Thank you very much for the vote of confidence! I really appreciate it :yay: I don't get featured much, because I'm really quite lazy sometimes, so this is all quite exciting for me.

Luna teleported when she was airborne. she is a bit more social and there fore, a bit more tricky.


3337683 I see an unsure Scootaloo!

Your turn :twilightsmile:


It's from the RE4 episode!

Uh...your turn?


I see a source that should probably go to the artist and not some random blogger.com link!

Your move :ajsmug:

Great story.
Congrats on the feature :ajsmug:

3337713 Thank you for finally making your issue completely clear instead of dancing around the subject for like ten minutes

I'll go ahead and fix that. I actually didn't know that dude was the artist at all, as I don't actually watch Two Best Sisters Play.

3337759 Thanks so much! I appreciate it :)


Thank you for finally making your issue completely clear instead of dancing around the subject for like ten minutes
I'll go ahead and fix that. I actually didn't know that dude was the artist at all, as I don't actually watch Two Best Sisters Play.

I thought you were just being playful. :ajsleepy: If you asked "What?" I could have told you right away. Whatever, atleast the problem is solved now :twilightsmile:

3337896 lol, I was. At first I thought you were just a random TBFP fan that was doing the whole 'a thing from the internet i recognize! I must point it out!' thing which seems to happen a lot

BUT WE'RE GOOD NOW. Just be more direct next time :p

Poor Rarity :raritycry:

"Yes, Princess, and I think we all learned an important lesson here today!"

The lesson, of course, is that head-to-head events like this should always have an odd number of events. :facehoof:

3337976 excellent summary sir


i wanna can of hash and some coffee

3337988 perfect. you may go

bring the bill soon, i'm in a hurry

3337991 In all seriousness, this was a blast to read. It's just so... fun.

3337994 I'm glad you enjoyed!

And so I royally decree from the upper pretentious crust of my astute opinion which is worth approximately two cents that this fic is grand and truly magnificent!

Truefax, Jake, truefax.

Eyes half-lidded, the party pony smiled faintly up at Celestia. Voice pitched slightly lower than usual, Pinkie continued advancing on the princess. "Oh, Princess Celestia? The next event is the hog tie. But we don't have any hogs, and Spike isn't going to do it."

Pinkie seems... excited... at the prospect of being tied up by the princesses. :trollestia:

There should be a sequel to this involving Discord vs the Princess duo. It'd be great seeing exactly what Discord can do without magic

Was a good little read. Nothing amazing, but, nothing bad, either. Time well spent, I'd say.

Not bad at all.

Was indeed quite enjoyable.

~Skeeter The Lurker

That was a fun read! :twilightsmile:

Hah, they Applejacked Twilight!

"I think we learned an important lesson here today!"

"... Nah. First back to the castle wins!"

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