• Member Since 20th Jan, 2012
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Shocking, how Celestia never taught Cadance the Royal Canterlot Voice. And Twilight will need to learn it as well. What can a Princess of the Night do but hold a class to teach this essential art for princesses? Hopefully she knows how to maintain classroom discipline....

Cover by Guardian Core.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 95 )

... This is hilarious. +fav.

I laughed a bunch, so you win a :moustache:

This amuses me.

You have earned a Level in the Art of Funny. Good Job. :pinkiehappy:

Ah, the Celestia problem… she really should know to just nod along and take credit.

Oh man...last line is priceless. I love how you leave Luna's reaction to that up to the reader, it makes it that much funnier.


No, no, I'm sure Twilight had it all right at the end! :trollestia:


I figure the cover art happens 10 seconds after that last line. :rainbowkiss:

Bwahah, all my giggles. :pinkiehappy:

Aside from the formatting issue with the spacing, a very cute little story.

Actually, I like the thought of unprepared!Celestia and that Twilight is actually organising the world-saving thing all on her own. The mental breakdown when she realises that she has actually been carrying Equestria on her small shoulders for years would be quite funny to watch.

Trollestia lives!


That's the best way I can express how I feel about this story.

This was amazing, you have set a high bar for Twilicorn fics indeed.

i can't help but think of the cover picture after the last sentence.

Fav and thumbs up despite my preferring Genius!Celestia VERY much. She even said so at the end of episode 2.


Oh gosh, she did, didn't she?

It's, uhh... cute how she tries to cover for herself, isn't it? :derpytongue2:

Eh.... I prefer to overlook that little bit of canon when reading this story, rather than say that Celestia would violate Honesty in such a fashion.

Cadence is hilarious in this fic. :rainbowlaugh:


That was beautiful. I am so tired of fics that overplay Celestia's apparent omniscience, going in the exact opposite direction was exactly the breath of fresh air I needed... even if you did overplay it perhaps a teensy weensy bit on the Discord scenario! From one swing of the pendulum to the other, as it were, so I guess that balances things out in the overall fic meta.

Regardless, perfectly hilarious in all respects, lively and guffaw-inducing without much OOC, surprisingly.

Now let's have another chapter where we find out whatever Cadance's RCV trigger is, eh?

:rainbowlaugh::trollestia:Princess Celestia is lucky, Really, really lucky, but then again, you know what they say: "I'd rather be lucky, than good.":eeyup::facehoof:

I like Twilight Sparkle's reaction. Been dragged into the attack of head canon when expressing a contrary or minority opinion. I dislike the "my opinion is right and yours is just dumb" argument. Sometimes the latter is correct but those times just make me feel sad.

I'm so happy to see a story where Celestia isn't so omniscient and scheming as Twilight makes her out to be! Absolutely hilarious, well done! You get a +fav and a follow.

I liked it well enough, but Princess Cadenza felt really out of character to me. Like she felt like a gum-chewing delinquent sex maniac which is mostly contrary to, like, every scene she's been in ever.


Heh, yeah, I'd seen enough of the Celestia, Master of Batman Gambits theme to want to poke some fun at it.


You aren't the first to make that criticism. In my defense, I think show-Cadance lacks much presence to begin with--mostly she exists in the background (Crystal Empire, which ought to have had good character stuff for her, but just left her wilting in distress), or appears to showcase some other pony (Rarity doing her hair in Games Ponies Play.) So I feel she's still a fairly blank slate for character portrayal.

That said, we know Twilight regards her as the world's best foalsitter, by which I took her to be fun in an irreverent way (since that would make my world's best babysitter list.) And I was thinking of her not so much as "sex maniac" as "newlywed," which ties into her annoyance at having to take time out to learn the RCV, a skill she would regard as being outside her "official domain," as it were, of love.

I was hoping I'd give her a bit more lively a personality without overstepping what the show gives us, but maybe I've gone right off the deep end. :twilightsheepish:

Great lolz I was having to control myself reading this. Consider it added to the main folders of Twilight's Library :twilightblush:

You, my good sir, are very good.
Nice story.:rainbowkiss:

2716747 Well think about it: she's Twilight Sparkle's favorite foal sitter. When she was a filly. Seriously, do you remember what she does for fun? And she was a kid--which means Cadence was probably fun to play with and was up for reading and fun conversation and doing what Twilight wanted. That's all it really takes to be super awesome.

Furthermore, she is not a blank slate in the show. There's definitely a lot of leeway with her character since it hasn't been showcased--but that doesn't mean whatever you want can be in character. Would the Cadence in this story prove to Twilight who she was by doing the "sunshine" dance? Would she have ever participated in the sunshine dance to begin with? I guess what it comes down to is that the Cadence here comes off as very sarcastic and "above" things. She comes off as inauthentic--which sort of comes off as teenager-y and out of character since there is nothing that Cadence is portrayed as if not genuine.

2226841 You know, I think we can overlook that. The number of times I've said "All planned!" in League of Legends after getting caught out of position but netting my team a kill or three. I like the idea of Celestia being a little clueless, enough to call that thing in episode 2 her own "all planned".

I approve of this fic. :moustache:

Now we need the follow-up chapter wherein Cadance reveals that she is the cunning mastermind who has been manipulating Twilight's destiny. After all, the hoof that rocks the cradle...

"Oooh, I wonder for how many generations you manipulated their bloodlines to produce the perfect candidates?” Twilight looked positively giddy at the thought.

Reminds me of a certain story...

Twilight´s willing blindness regarding Celestia´s incompetence reminds me this quote from "Small Gods":

“Gods are not very introspective. It has never been a survival trait... Which had led, across the multiverse, to men and women of tremendous brilliance and empathy devoting their entire lives to the service of deities who couldn’t beat them at a quiet game of dominoes."


"Dear sister, this seems like a plan only a fool would engage in!"
"Oh, hush. Lecturing her obviously isn't going to help her learn the Royal Canterlot Voice, so now we're doing it MY way."

Luna flies in to Cadance's room with a glamour spell that makes her look like Queen Chrysalis. She grabs Shining Armor and flies off as fast as she can. Cadance screams, in true Royal Canterlot Voice, "NOT MY HUSBAND ,YOU BITCH!" The ensuing blast of energy could be described by gamers as a "Hyper Beam", which did unfortunately singe off a good portion of Shining's mane, but absolutely pulverized Luna.


Would the Cadence in this story prove to Twilight who she was by doing the "sunshine" dance?

Yes? She gets along with Twilight fine. It's Luna who is the oil to her water. She's not cynical, she's just having a bit of a spat with Luna.

I do appreciate your critique. I can see I'll need to lay more groundwork if I'm tempted to depict her like this in the future.


Celestia hauls her sister back to the Canterlot infirmary, coughing at the occasional wisp of smoke. "That could have gone better," she says.
"Did you hear her?" wheezes Luna. "Magnificent! I think I really have a knack for teaching."

The ending. Was. Perfect. :rainbowlaugh::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: Enjoy these my good sire!

If only there was a Starswirl the Bearded face. Ahhhh, good times. :duck:

there are no words(except for the ones i am typing)

Glorious! :twilightsmile:


Twilight could no more let it pass than she could round pi down to a mere two decimals.



2393766 Agreed. 'Omniscient' Celestia always struck me as more of a manipulative jerk (and a perfect manipulative jerk, at that) than someone who actually cared about other ponies. While I would admit that Celestia is an expert chessmaster, portraying her as a wise and caring ruler who is still imperfect makes her a much more interesting and compelling character than someone who flawlessly predicts every possible outcome in advance.

I can totaly see cadence as a "this is BOREING! Lets go do something fun" kinda pony
Especially when she is around friends and away from her responsibilities

I think he had a crush on her


Do all of Celestia's students develop crushes on her, or is Luna just ribbing Twilight by comparing her to him? :pinkiecrazy:

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