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Penny is an adventurous girl who loves pegesai. One day she meets a pegasus who shares with her a secret. Now Penny wishes that she can have a new life. But will she get that chace? And what do her parents think?
Based off the Conversion Bureau story by Blaze, this story looks into new possibilities and a new life.
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Why does every human go willingly?!
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We will fight to the bitter end!
Humans always die standing!
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Just thought I'd give my opinion on the idea of the conversion bureau.
Cliched: Yes
Potential: maybe
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I will not surrender.
why does everyhuman go willingly because of fancy posters like this:
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and this
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A good start, favorited
Another good chapter, look forward to seeing where you take this.
I take it some of the Dislikes are due to the Conversion Bureau thing.
Well, I try to do things a little different from the original model, so don't judge ir by that stand alone fact.
I noticed that many CB stories feature an adult character as the main. But what about a child? How do they experience things? With joy? Fear?
I love this. I am looking forward to more. It is innocent, lovely and nice. I so agree with Penny.
I am so enjoying this. Please do not let the obnoxious types bother you. This is a unique take, from the eyes of a child. It needs to be written.
666532 A child would see the world from a more innocent point of view
A more innocent view? Pennt seems pretty innocent to me. But I can always tweak things for the later chapters.
671063 That wasn't a criticism. I think Pennt's reaction is very realistic. A child wouldn't have cultural programming we tend to get later on in life.
Heh.. my bad.
Thanks.
Even if i asumed it was a criticism, it was a good kind.
666532 You will automatically get between 7 and 14 dislikes because it's a conversion bureau fic. Write what your heart tells you to and have fun doing it, you cannot please everybody so don't bother trying. It's your story, (potential) flaws and all.
I am enjoying this. Penny and Swift Wind are adorable - and the tech of the homing watch caught me. Now that is something that I could see as a real product in the world, and not just as an app on a cell phone or an Ipad or whatever. The notion of a watch, or a piece of jewelry, that shows proximity and direction would sell, I think, to friends and lovers in the real world. It's a clever speculative technology. So I have to say... nice. Really clever.
So basically, you are giving us a fun story and cool science fiction elements too, and that makes me a happy pony.
@midnightshadow - Yeah, I'm still writing it, so no problem with that. I just found it interesting about the dislikes.
@ Chatoyance - That idea of a GPS Watch came to me on accident. I was thinking "how is Swift going to know where Penny's house is if she's never been there and too young to go there herseff?" Then I saw a show with a GPS, and bingo! Plus I know that since the Conversion Bureau is set in the new future, maybe there won't be hover cars or homes made of plastic, but there will be watches like that.
FRAGOUT!!!
Great fun, and I am enjoying this story! It has a fine charm to it that I relish.
thanks for that!
This story never fails to make me feel happy. Sometimes, I think of it like a children's book, something you might find in the lobby of a Conversion Bureau, to read to your child to help them understand Conversion. I can practically see it there, in a rack of Conversion Information. Or maybe it would be a spoken book at a holo-kiosk.
Thank you for another fine chapter.
Something horrible is going to happen. Calling it now.
Honestly, though, I wouldn't mind being wrong.
This has sort of become my favorite story. The moment I see an update, it's like "LUX! Yay!" The style is so simple and appropriate to the setting and situation.
Frankly, I am envious I didn't think of this. Good on ya!
Thanks!
Another nice chapter, looking forward to the next
So tender, so nice. It's all so sweet, which is exactly what I need right now. Reading this story makes me feel happy, it gladdens my heart.
More dislikes than likes? I see something else other than otherkin hatred.
Really this isn't otherkin much but due to the dislike of Conversion Bureau stories. But that's ok. It's a fun story and I like to write it, so that's all that matters.
Oh, that's so sweet, with Fluttershy! Yay!
Thank you kindly for another chapter, dear Lux.
Well I added Fluttershy for a reason, which you can probably see what will happen next.
There are two more chapters to go, so stay tuned!
You made me smile, all day long.
Yay!
Well, One more chapter to go. I thought about leaving it here, but one more chapter will bring the whole story home.
The thought that earth-ponies, pegasi, or unicorns could willingly give a bit of themselves to ensure a certain type of ponification takes place is rather relevatory. I think it's more effective to leave the true effectiveness of Fluttershy's contribution ambiguous. It works for what it shows: ponies care about humans and want to help them be happy.
So very sweet and beautiful. Marvelous.
Thank you for writing this, Lux. It made my heart sing.
I agree with what Chatoyance said a few chapters ago about how this reads like a pamphlet that Conversion Bureau advocates would hand out. Very cute, light story. We often lose sight of how heavy and "grown-up" most TCB storylines are. This was pretty refreshing.
I love the tone of how you write. I've never seen anything like it before.
Although, you might want to find somebody to help you with some minor editing issues. For instance:
↑ "[centerThe End]"
I read Boy in the Striped Pajamas. Very dark book but with childhood innocense.
Fortunately this little story could fit in most TCB timelines, so there's that.
There, for as long as it lasts, even odds.
A lovely little story, short and sweet.
I just love this story.
One of my top TCB stories that I like.
What a nice short and sweet story this was. Made me feel like a little boy again running around on the footy field. So have a star and a thumb and my eye as well.
A bit to sweet for my tastes, the naivety might have worked better if you had written it entirely from the girls perspective.
In chapter one you wrote
In this chapter both are pegasus ponies.
Hmm... must have missed that one.
This is just me, but converting the whole family at the same time? If I was in charge of that bureau I'd give families the opportunity to watch each others conversion, even if it is just to show them that the pony is really the human that went in.
Oh and congratulations on incorporating Twilight and Fluttershy. I'm wary when the mane6 show up in a TCB story, because it usually means that some HLF will try an assault or kidnapping.
Not here. Well done.
What a sweet little tale.
No one gets killed, no oh so heavy philosophical debates and no "ponies/humans are superior" rants.
I could get used to this.
The only thing I really missed was the conversion dream, having Luna or Celestia welcome a child, I would have liked to see that.
I'd like to think that Conversion Bureaus have to ponify hundreds of humand per day, so converting a family at once can happen.
And I wanted to add Fluttershy as she would be a gentler pony to Penny.
I'd like to think that Penny dreaned the same dream being a Pegasus and flying ariound with Swift.
Incomplete? Curious.
Heh... forgot that! No added chapters, this on'e done.
Chapters are too short.
Nice chapter
How is this possible 24 dislikes!
any way more likes than dislikes.
good story.