She's only been here for a few minutes, and yet she knows more about how things should work than anypony alive. Meet the expert on all things Equestrian, except how to pronounce or spell it (and if you're pointing that out to her, then you're just being racist). She knows how to fix everything, and all that's required to do so is to let her speak with the manager!

...the Princesses?
Are you sure there isn't a higher authority available?

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. Due to minimal story length, this was a Patreon freebie.)

Rated C for Crackfic.
This story has no purpose in existing beyond my wanting to kill a Karen.

You are Anon. Or, at least, you used to be. Sort of. Now you're a filly. Let's just say, you're not thrilled with the change. And with it comes some unforeseen consequences.

Originally Edited by Alex_

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

Falling in love with the mythological book series Midnight Castle, Lyra Heartstrings has created her very own fan fiction site, a home to all that enjoy reading and writing human fiction.

This is the life and times of that site.