//------------------------------// // Rarity's Revenge // Story: Dexter's Lab: Equestria // by RenegadeAlias //------------------------------// Sorry for the long wait, but here we go! --- Dexter’s Log: Day 4 This is the personal log of Dexter, scientist and boy genius. I keep this log in the hopes that, when I return home, all the information I collect and store in these logs can be analyzed and appropriately archived by my laboratory computer. Yes, my love, I do this for you. A boy genius couldn’t ask for a more loyal computer. It has been three days since I woke up on this planet, a planet ruled by a race of sentient speaking equines. The means of my arrival unto this world are still somewhat of a mystery to me. I recall working inside my wormhole generator, when that STUPID sister of mine started pushing buttons on the control panel! It wouldn’t be the first time that air-head got me transported to an alien world. However what I don’t understand is how I was transformed, at least on the outside, into one of these sentient equines. It may have something to do with a phenomenon the locals have named ‘magic.’ But more on that in a moment, I have something of infinitely more importance to log. NO DEE DEE!!! Without her, my intellectual and scientific endeavors shall progress uninhibited! That simple fact almost makes all of this worth it. Even if I have to start building my lab all over again from scratch, I no longer have to put up with the one incompetent individual whose limitless stupidity manages to infect everything in her surroundings and continuously dampens my ever expanding genius. I’m glad she’s gone and I don’t miss her, not in the slightest. Okay, maybe a little. She is my sister after all. I don’t miss her. I really don’t miss her. Now I know what you’re probably doing computer. Your using the personality profiler I built for you to see if I really miss Dee Dee or not. But the problem is, its going to come out wrong this time. I really don’t Miss Dee Dee at all. You know that I don’t miss Dee Dee for a very simple and logical reason. She is annoying, and no one ever misses an annoying sister. . . . Computer, for scientific purposes, enter the following code directly into the command console for immediate processing by your CPU. Manual_Overide_Active = 1; Reset_AI_Logic_Core(); AI_Purge_Contextual_Data(); AI_Presume_True_Phrase (“Dexter absolutely does not miss Dee Dee.”); Manual_Overide_Active = 0; . . . Okay, now that I am sure you are recording information accurately, I can move on. These equines possess a near human level of intelligence, and have access to a strange multi-use phenomenon they have branded ‘magic.’ It is an astounding phenomenon that deserves full scientific investigation. I will start by seeing what the equines already know about it, however I fear they may know little. After speaking to the elderly equine named Granny Smith, she said that: “Magic is as magic does.” It appears that some of them believe that ‘magic’ is something unknowable and thus not worth investigation. Scientific sacrilege I say! However, I should note that I only asked Granny Smith thus far. Other equines may hold a different opinion. Nonetheless, nothing will stop the progress of science! I, Dexter, boy genius, shall uncover all the secrets of this phenomenon! However, I will have to keep my quest for knowledge secret on this world just as I did on Earth. On Earth, if my lab was discovered, my parents would have simply shut it down. The consequences could be far more dire if the equines discovered it. These equines seem to be technologically primitive in comparison to mankind. Who knows would kind of destruction they could accidentally, or even intentionally, bring upon themselves if they got their hands (or should I say hooves) on advanced technology. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I had introduced technology into this world which ended up destroying it. This seems to be a significant possibility to me, given their apparent social issues and primitive beliefs. They believe their leaders to be super-natural beings, or ‘goddesses,’ capable of moving celestial objects. Needless to say, I don’t share this belief. However, an interesting side note is that such beliefs are similar to the ancient pagan religions found on earth. I shall endeavor to capitalize on this situation and study their culture, and to that end I will be visiting a library today after school. But speaking of research, I have good news. I found a suitable location for a laboratory! I managed to sneak away from Applejack and her brother Big Macintosh for a few hours last night and roam the farm. It appears that the Apple family has been living on this land since the founding of Ponyville. At some point in the farm’s past, the farmhouse was relocated and the old one was torn down. However, the original farm house had a basement. Its entrance was collapsed, but with a little work I was able to get inside. The basement’s floor and walls were made out of a pale brick, and it seemed structurally sound. It is also both underground and relatively hidden. So all I have to do is disguise the entrance and I’ll have an ample amount of space to start constructing a new laboratory! I will begin construction immediately. End Log --- “What is it?” Chrysalis hissed toward one of her drones, one that had entered her throne room and disturbed her evening. The heart of the changeling hive wasn’t the most welcoming place, nor was the queen. Though she loved all her drones like children, managing millions of them sometimes put her in a bad mood. Sudden interruptions didn’t help. “I’m sorry for the disturbance my queen.” The drone replied. To outsiders, all the drones looked exactly the same. However, this was an intentional use of their mimetic abilities. They collectively chose to standardize their appearance. “A matter of some urgency has just been reported to us by one of our infiltrators in the Canterlot guard.” The drone continued. “What is it Chitin?” Chrysalis replied, “And make it fast, I’m busy.” “An infiltrator has been exposed in Ponyville,” He replied, earning a look of annoyance from the Queen. “You’d better have something more important than that for disturbing me if you want to walk out of here with your carapace attached.” She said. “I’m in a bad mood already, so don’t waste my time with trivialities.” “No my queen, it’s just that one of our guard infiltrators was caught at the same time. And it’s not that they were found out, it’s how they were caught which is concerning.” He hastily replied. “Hmm, two changelings being caught at the same time. That is uncommon, but not unheard-of.” Chrysalis remarked, changelings usually assisted each other in remaining undercover. Thus, the more changelings present, the harder they were to detect. “You were saying how they were caught?” “According to the report our guard infiltrator in Canterlot passed off to us, the guard has found some sort of device in Ponyville that has the ability to detect us.” Chitin answered. “They’ve even enlisted the local town librarian, who happens to be Celestia’s personal student Twilight Sparkle, to examine the device before a security team can be brought in to ship it to Canterlot for reverse engineering. Twilight Sparkle is scheduled to examine it this morning. Here is a copy of the report we stole” He produced a few sheets of paper that the Queen seized in a green aura of magic. “I see, this is rather bad.” Chrysalis said, turning away to read the report. However, after a moment she turned back toward the drone. “But they don’t know where the device came from?” “No, your highness.” “Redeploy our closest infiltrators to Ponyville,” The Queen ordered. “Pull them out of other assignments if you have to. I want that device destroyed immediately.” “Are you sure my Queen?” Chitin replied hesitantly. Taking changelings out of their assumed identities on a moment’s notice could destroy their cover, something which was regarded as costly. “By no means, I fear it may not be enough. If the Equestrians are able to reproduce this device, every changeling in Equestria could be exposed. We can’t let that happen.” Chrysalis replied. “We have to assume that this is going to reach the crown soon if it already hasn’t, and if the princesses get involved directly we may never be able to stop them.” “Our officer infiltrator in Canterlot managed to slow the report down by intentionally misfiling it,” Chitin replied, this was one of the few times he could be thankful for messy bureaucracy. “However we still have to worry about the student Twilight Sparkle making a personal report directly to the princess “True, redeploy the infiltrators immediately” She commanded. “Make sure they understand that they have to destroy the device, because failure is not an option. Once the device is destroyed, tell them to rescue my subjects and find out where the device came from.” “Your highness, could this be a trap?” “It doesn’t matter if it is a trap or not, if there is a chance that device does what they think it does then we cannot risk waiting.” “Yes, my Queen.” --- “Hey Twili-” Spike tried to call out, before getting cut off by shrill hiss. Spike was trying to get Twilight's attention from the main floor of the library, but he kept getting cut off. It wasn’t the first time the annoying white colt had to shush the baby dragon today, and in all likelihood it wouldn’t be the last “Ssssshhhhhh!!!” Dexter finished hissing at Spike before turning his gaze back to the book he was reading. The book was more of a tome, one of many large textbooks stacked next to the colt. Their subjects ranged from history and culture to magic. Dexter had arrived at the library immediately after school, which let out early for the day due to a rather bizarre event. One of the foals in class had spontaneously caught on fire. At least, that’s what Cheerilee thought, and she sent everyone home just to be safe. In truth, Dexter may have had something to do with. It was purely accident of course. It all started after Applejack finished dropping Applebloom and Dexter off at school. She had pulled Dexter aside, wanting to make sure that the colt would behave for the day. In light of his previous indiscretions, Dexter didn’t blame her. “I will be the model of proper student comportment,” He assured her, before going inside. He had genuinely intended to behave the entire day, desiring above all other things to mend the terrible first impression he must have given the teacher. But that was only part of it. Dexter was the number one student, in any school, always. It was a point of personal pride for him. In fact, Dexter’s rivalry with his nemesis, the evil boy genius Susan ‘Mandark’ Astronomonov, started in a fierce competition to be the number one student in school. But since Mandark was entirely out of the picture, Dexter would take the position of ‘best student’ unrivaled. At least, that was the plan. After being introduced to the class, Dexter found his seat between a pegasus colt named Rumble and an earth pony named Archer. They were nice enough, however the trouble came from a pink earth pony filly that sat a few rows in front of Dexter. Her name was Diamond Tiara. Dexter had seen his fair share of bullies on earth, so he knew one when he saw one. The tiara on her head only exemplified the fact that she was a spoiled little brat. But she wasn’t an ordinary bully. She had some tiny traces of a mind, one which she used to come up with and say ‘it.’ ‘It’ being the horrid contortion of Dexter’s name that was a constant source of mockery and ridicule for the young boy genius. Admittedly, it may have been partially Dexter’s fault. When Cheerilee started asking the class math questions, he continuously raised his hoof immediately and answered all the questions correctly. It got to the point where Cheerilee was tired of calling on him. ”Aren’t we the little genius, huh Dorkster?” The bully mocked, saying ‘it’ for the first time. The name elicited a bout of laughter from the other children. And once that nickname was out and into the class, it could never be taken back. The other foals would never forget it, and the nickname would forever be the word of choice in ridiculing his nerdy persona. Its spread was immediate, as some of the laughing foals started coming up with their own contortions of his name. “Dweebster!” “Poindexter!” Naturally, Cheerilee only gave Diamond Tiara a small reprimand before refocusing the class’s attention. However, that wasn’t enough for Dexter. The filly had to pay. That, and Dexter knew the only way to defeat a bully was to stand up to them. So Dexter got an idea. He carefully retrieved his laser pen from his saddlebags and placed it on his desk, taking care to be subtle. Then, using one of the laser’s lower settings, aimed the laser at the bully’s precious tiara and flicked it on. It wasn’t his aim to hurt the filly; he just wanted to scuff up her prized head piece enough so he could make fun of her later. Then, hopefully, the bully wouldn’t think of him as easy prey. However, his goal was accomplished rather quickly, something he found confusing as he saw the tiara crumple and start to liquefy. Now, just because Dexter lacked foresight, didn’t mean Diamond Tiara’s father did. As much as her father loved the spoiled brat that was his daughter, he wasn’t about to let his precious little girl go to school every day with diamonds and gold resting on her head. It would make her a target of thieves or other unsavory characters. Not that unsavory characters were common; it was just an unnecessary risk. So the tiara was actually a fake made out of plastic and zirconium, something that would easily melt under the red hot glare of a laser set to damage gold and silver. Dexter watched in confusion as the tiara continued to melt, up until the tiara turned black and the tuft of hair it sat upon burst into a small flame. He immediately flicked the pen off and hid it away, before staring dumbfounded as the small flame on the filly’s head which started to grow. Luckily, Cheerilee was much quicker to react. The teacher was facing the board when the flame started, but froze the moment they appeared. Cheerilee took an audible sniff to confirm that she could smell burning, then spun around quickly enough to startle the entire class. Most of the foals had yet to notice the flame growing in the center of the room. Diamond Tiara hadn’t noticed either, and from the filly’s perspective, Cheerilee suddenly flipped out and started beating her with a large fire blanket. That ended school early for the day. Cheerilee thought that it would be best to send the foals home until the cause of the fire had been determined. She also needed to take Diamond Tiara to the hospital. Other than a crispy mane, the filly appeared fine. But Cheerilee needed to be sure. Thus school was let out early, and Dexter headed straight to the library. So now he was in a library, shushing a baby dragon with a loud hiss and trying to read up about magic. A part of him still wondered if he was actually crazy. He had always thought that dragons were mythical creatures, but given what he has already seen so far, he shouldn’t have been surprised at finding one. At first, Dexter was intrigued by the purple lizard and spent a little time observing him. Something Spike had gotten used to. He was the only baby dragon in Ponyville, and received plenty of leering for it. However, Dexter soon remembered why he was at the library, and turned to the books. He figured he could learn more about dragons by reading anyways. But that didn’t mix well when Spike started calling out for his surrogate Sister/Mother. “Twiliiigggghhtttt!” Spike called again, hoping the unicorn would hear him from her room upstairs. However, he only received another hiss for his efforts. “Hey, don’t shush me!” Spike replied to the reprimand. Dexter had been reading for some time now, and this wasn’t the first time he silenced the dragon for making noise. “I’m trying to read,” Dexter replied, before disappearing behind his book again with his quill and paper. “Bothersome, irritating purple reptile. You’re interrupting my very delicate calculations. No need to be disturbing me with your persistent bellowing.” “Yah, well, go ‘calculate’ outside or something. Less bellowing out there.” Spike said as he folded his arms, casting a glare of annoyance at the colt. Dexter wasn’t exactly earning his way into Spike’s good graces. However the baby dragon’s opinion may have been skewed by the complaints of a certain white unicorn, one whom he had a crush on. Said unicorn had the right to complain though; Dexter did blow her shop apart after all. “Now Spike, you should be more considerate and make less noise.” Twilight said after appearing at the top of the staircase, she cast a glance at Dexter. He was partially obscured by a large stack of books. Applejack had already told her about the colt’s plan to stop by, and had welcomed him into the library almost three hours ago. She was actually surprised to see that he was still there. “Why?” Spike complained, “How come he gets to come into our home and tell me to be quiet.” “Well, normally I would agree with you Spike.” Twilight went on as she reached the bottom of the staircase and turned her attention back toward the baby dragon. “But remember, this is not only our home but it is also the Ponyville library. Every resident of Ponyville has the right to use it, and you’ve been with me to enough libraries to know how silence is the general rule.” “Yah, but we usually make more noise anyway.” Spike pointed out, before getting to the heart of his dislike for the colt. “He also blew up Rarity’s boutique!” “True,” Twilight chuckled, she suspected this was the real reason Spike disliked the colt. Rarity wasn’t exactly thrilled with what ‘that reckless ruffian’ had done to her shop. Of course, Spike was more than willing to agree with his crush’s opinion. “But think of it this way, Spike.” Twilight went on. “If it weren’t for Dexter and the crusaders blowing out Rarity’s shop, she wouldn’t be living with us for the next few weeks. And we both know how much you love spending time helping Rarity.” “You know . . . you’re right, I didn’t think about it like that.” Spike said in realization, his dislike for the colt shrinking. Though he still found Dexter slightly annoying. “I suppose he might not be that bad, but he could afford to be a little more polite.” “Wait a second,” Dexter interrupted. “How did you know I was the one who . . . had the accident at the boutique?” Twilight rolled her eyes. “You have a very unique name Dexter, and I made the mistake of asking Rarity about it.” “Oh, I see.” Dexter disappeared behind his book again. Twilight nodded in response before casting a spell with her horn, causing a large scroll to appear before Spike. “Spike, I need this sent to Princess Celestia.” She said, holding up the scroll. “Can you send it now?” “Sure, what is it?” Spike asked, taking the scroll into his claws. “It’s my report on that device we looked at this morning,” Twilight explained. “The Princess, and big brother, said it was important and wanted to hear what I found as soon as they could.” After a large inhale, Spike let out a blast of green fire from his mouth. It consumed the scroll in seconds. Dexter, however, was caught off guard by the burst of flames. “Whoa whoa! Hey! What are you doing? are you crazy or something? Fire and libraries don’t mix!” The startled colt jumped up between the dragon and his stack of books, bumping the books and causing them to topple over. He tumbled over himself shortly after, joining the pile of books on the floor. “Don’t worry, Dexter.” Twilight chuckled as the colt picked himself up. “There’s no need to panic. Spike’s fire is enchanted so that it doesn’t destroy anything.” Twilight turned toward the mess of books, her magic extending over them. “Here, let me help.” As Twilight and Spike began arranging the books, Twilight started taking note of their titles. Each and every one of them was either a detailed history book or an advanced magical theory textbook. Books that were normal for Twilight’s library, but not normal for a colt Dexter’s age. “Some light reading Dexter?” Spike comment sarcastically, he had taken notice as well. Having returned a book titled ‘Comprehensive Mathematical Modeling of Advanced Magic.’ May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die?* “What can I say, I love books.” He quipped. If anyone in Ponyville could relate to a love for books, it was Twilight Sparkle. However, Dexter motioned toward the stack Twilight just organized “Thank you Ms. Sparkle, but I’ve finished reading those texts and will no longer be requiring them.” “Dexter, did you say you’ve read all of these?” Twilight said with a raised eyebrow, motioning toward the stack of books that was taller than the colt. “In three hours?” She had to admit, she was a bit skeptical. She was a book worm too, but she couldn’t read such a great volume of books in that amount of time. “Yes, and I am well aware of the typical library policy of letting the librarian reshelf the books.” Dexter stated matter-of-factly. “I would do it myself, correctly, but I understand that it is a rule because other patrons might not reshelf books correctly, making it very difficult to find said books. However, let me know if you require any assistance.” He said as he adjusted his glasses before retrieving another book from nearby shelf. “Let me know if you have any questions or don’t understand something.” Twilight kindly offered, not knowing what she’d be getting herself into. “Actually . . .” Dexter began. “Applejack tells me you’re the resident expert on magic in this town, and I do have a few questions regarding magic theory.” He said as he tried to hide a smile. He was glad to have an ‘expert’ on magic to talk to, and was more than eager to pick the unicorn’s brain on the subject. “Well, I can definitely help you there Dexter. My special talent is magic.” She replied. “What do you want to know?” “Excellent. . .” --- Twilight and Dexter talked for hours; the colt’s torrent of questions about magic seemed endless. The questions themselves were rather insightful, sometimes managing to stump Twilight. She had expected Dexter to ask simpler questions about magic, something typical of a colt his age. However, his questions made her feel like she was defending a dissertation from a room full of professors. She actually had to take a step back a few times; astonished that she was having such a conversation with a colt nearly half her age. He was clearly brilliant. However, He obviously lacked any significant knowledge or experience with magic. But he was brilliant nonetheless, maybe even smarter than she was at his age despite his inexperience. Of course, Twilight didn’t know the half of it. This was the kid who had built a time machine, A.I., and space ship in his house while managing to keep it secret from his parents. The overall experience was refreshing to Twilight; she didn’t get to have conversations that challenged her mentally very often. “No no no!” Dexter proclaimed, as he snatched a piece of chalk out of Twilight’s magical grasp. Their conversation had turned into a debate which was being battled out on a chalkboard. It was rapidly filled with long and overbearing equations. “You’re doing it all wrong. You have to take into account the effects of entropy in any energy consuming thermodynamic process.” He crossed out an equation before writting a new one. Spike had long since gone, he didn’t understand any of it and wasn’t about to get a headache trying. “Dexter,” Twilight began. “I’ve heard your definition of entropy and it doesn’t make sense. You can’t quantify chaos. However, you should read up on the harmony coefficient.” Twilight sighed and rubbed her temple with a hoof. “As much fun as it is for me to talk to somepony that understands science like I do, I think we should take a break.” “Yah okay,” Dexter said, trying to hide traces of disappointment and frustration. Twilight had proven to be an excellent source of information about magic, but Dexter’s current level of understanding was far below anything that could satisfy his curiosity. He wondered if Twilight, or anyone in Equestria, knew enough about magic to satisfy his curiosity. “Wow, look at the time! I have to check on something, I’ll be right back.” Twilight said, turning away and leaving down the basement stairs. Dexter responded absentmindedly with a wave, his eyes still fixed on the chalkboard. “Interesting,” Dexter said to no one in particular. “What’s this?” Dexter asked as he noticed the chalk board was double sided. Flipping the board on its hinges revealed the back side, which was covered with several equations and a final missing line. However, the first thing he noticed was a small title at the top of the board. It read ‘Clover’s Conundrum.’ Usually, the fact that an equation or mathematics problem had a name signified that it was really important. Dexter knew firsthand how impolite it was when someone interfered with his calculations, and he resolved to leave the chalkboard alone. However, there was one small problem. Said equation was clearly unsolved, and the mere presence of the unsolved equation was gnawing at Dexter’s mind. It was like a tilted picture frame to an OCD neat freak, or a pair of mismatching socks to Rarity. Soon, the little scientist couldn’t keep his eyes off it. He couldn’t help himself; the equation had to be solved. It. Had. To. Be. It was like a festering itch, a festering itch inside his mind! --- “Hey, I’m back.” Twilight said, reappearing in the library. She arrived just in time to see Dexter flip the chalkboard back to its original side. “Sorry about that, I have an experiment running and I needed to check up on it.” “Experiment?” Dexter asked, the word alone was enough to pique his interest. “Yes, it’s currently running in the lab downstairs” Twilight began, causing Dexter to freeze and drop is chalk. “So I need to check up on it again in a another couple of min-“ “YOU have a LABORATORY?” Dexter half shouted, both out of surprise and excitement. However, this enthusiasm caught Twilight off guard and startled her. “Yes . . .” She said after a moment, eyeing the colt. “I have a small lab in the basement; I use it for . . . hey where are you going?” Dexter didn’t respond, he didn’t hear past the word ‘basement.’ He had turned, and at a brisk pace, started walking toward the basement door. However, not a second after his hoof made contact with the handle, the door was encompassed by a purple glow. No matter how hard he tried, the door wouldn’t open. “Hey, what gives?’ He asked the purple unicorn, whose horn emitted a matching purple glow. “Oh no, no way.” Twilight responded, her tone was almost chastising. “I’m not letting you downstairs into my lab. “B-B-But” Dexter stammered. “No foals in the laboratory,” Twilight said with finality. “I’m sure you’re curious, but I can’t let you down there. Not after what the crusaders did to it. You might damage something, or get yourself hurt.” She explained. “Miss Sparkle, I assure you, I am the most qualified person in this dinky town for conducting laboratory operations.” Dexter argued. “Like you’re qualified to make a paper mache volcano?” Twilight retorted skeptically, it was a hit below the belt as far as Dexter was concerned. A part of Dexter knew she was right, not because he couldn’t handle being in a laboratory, but because she had no reason to trust in his competence. “Pllleeeeeaaaaaasssseeeeeeee,” And so the begging began. --- “Hiya Rarity, how goes tha repairs?” Applejack was on her way to the library when she came across the white unicorn, who was also headed in the same direction. “Why hello, Applejack.” Rarity greeted. “I am happy to say the repairs to the boutique are proceeding steadily.” “Glad to hear it, let me know if ya need any of help.” Applejack offered. “You know I wouldn’t hesitate to ask, Applejack.” Rarity replied. “But Rainbow’s cut me off for the day, she nearly threw me out of my own boutique!” “What’s left of it.” Applejack teased, earning a frown from the unicorn. “Now Rarity, we all know you’d obsess over fixing the boutique day n’ night 'til ya worked yerself ta death.” Applejack began. “But ya should be glad Rainbow Dash cut ya off fer the day. Believe me, Ah’ve tried the whole ‘working yerself twenty four seven’ bit. It ain’t fun.” “Yes, but what if somepony important sees it in such a dreadful state?” Rarity lamented. “What would they think of me? My reputation would be ruined!” Rarity paused for a moment, checking the sky for a certain blue pegasus. “Maybe if I sneak back there I can get a few more hours of repairs in before Rainbow notices.” “Now simmer down there, Rarity.” Applejack replied, trying to suppress a laugh at the unicorn’s expense. “If Rainbow cut ya off fer today, then Ah’m not about to let ya go back. Just accept that yah can’t do anything about the boutique til tomorrow.” “B-But” “An before yah say it, Ah know, ‘It’s tha worst possible thing ever.’” Applejack rolled her eyes. A few moments later they had reached the library door; Applejack extended a hoof and gave it a few hard knocks. A few moments later, Twilight appeared and opened the door. She looked a tad bit upset, clearly annoyed about something. “Hey girls,” She greeted. “Is that Rarity?” They could hear Spike’s voice somewhere inside. “Is she back?” His question only got Twilight to roll he eyes. “Yes,” Twilight answered as Spike hurried up to the door. “C’mon in.” “Hey Twi, Ah’m here ta pick up . . .” Applejack started as she and Rarity entered the library, however she trailed off when she noticed something odd. Dexter was clinging onto one of Twilight’s hind legs. “Hey, what are ya doing down there?” “What kind of cruel, vindictive, inhumane, cold-hearted monster would deny a humble boy genius a chance to further science?” Dexter rambled on toward Twilight, ignoring Applejack entirely as he clung closer to Twilight’s leg. He was quickly proving to be the biggest colt sized pest Twilight had ever encountered. “He’s been doing that for the past fifteen minutes,” Twilight deadpanned. “Ever since I told him he couldn’t see my lab.” “Let me see your laboratory, for the sake of science!” Dexter pleaded. “For science, you monster!” Applejack was about to say something else to Dexter, however she was cut off by a loud gasp from Rarity. The gasp drew everyone’s attention, including Dexter’s. “Just one moment!” Rarity’s eyes narrowed on the colt, who halted his begging at the sound of her sharp voice. “Red-orange mane and tail, pristine white coat, blue eyes behind a set of glasses and,” Rarity sniffed the air in Dexter’s direction. “A residual sent of sweet apple acres . . .” “YOU!” Her words were venom. “You’re Dexter!” Her tone was dramatic, as though confronting her worst enemy. She cast an accusatory hoof straight at the colt’s chest. “Umm . . . heh, yes. That would be me.” Dexter replied hesitantly, slowly letting go of Twilight and falling to the floor. Twilight almost cheered in relief to have her leg free once again. “And umm . . . who would you be?” “I am the proprietor of the fine establishment you chose to vandalize,” Rarity replied “You dastardly ruffian.” Rarity was more overly dramatic than actually angry. “And, by the looks of it, you’re now victimizing Twilight as well!” “Ah yes, you must be Rarity.” Dexter said, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Now while I do regret what happened at the boutique and wish to make amends, I must point out it wasn’t entirely my fault. If the girls had simply followed my instruc-“ “Oh don’t you dare think you can shift blame for what you’ve done!” Rarity cut off him off. “I questioned Sweetie Belle extensively about the events of that day.” She walked past the colt and placed her saddlebags on a chair, before turning back toward Dexter. “I know it was Applebloom and Scootaloo who incorrectly mixed the chemicals causing the explosion.” “But it was all made possible by YOU!” Dexter shrunk back at her accusatory tone, his eyes locking onto the hoof Rarity aimed directly at his chest. “It was YOU who broke into the LOCKED cleaning closet and got to the chemicals in the first place!” Dexter stood still, unable to think of something to say. The overdramatic tone of the mare made it seem like he tried to burn the boutique down while she was still inside. “Oh Dexter, What did I ever do to deserve this?” Rarity began sulking. “My shop is in ruins! And you’ve traumatized my cat. Poor Opal! It’ll be weeks before Fluttershy can coax the poor thing out of hiding. What do you have to say for yourself?” Dexter let out another nervous chuckle, taking a few tentative steps back from the crazed mare. “I’m sorry?” he gulped. However, Rarity’s sulking vanished just as quickly as it appeared. Her tone was now slightly more vindictive than before. “Oh no, do you really think a simple ‘I’m sorry’ will be sufficient reparation for your crimes?” Rarity formed a malevolent grin as she reached into her saddlebag. “You’re sadly mistaken; I’ve been planning for this . . .” “Ummm . . .” Was all Dexter could say before Rarity turned back toward him, then his vision was cut off entirely as he felt something land on his head. It fell in front of his glasses and temporarily cut off his vision. “Gaahhh!” It took him a moment to realize what had happened, Rarity had simply put something on his head. “A hat?” Dexter asked in confusion. “Not just any hat, a hideous hat!” Rarity declared. “Some of your handiwork, I might add. It was destined to be beautiful before you blew up my shop. Look at what you’ve done, your crimes against fashion, you scoundrel!” Dexter took a moment to observe the headwear, and she was right. The hat was indeed hideous; he didn’t need to be a fashion expert to see that. “I can’t imagine what is worse than being forced to wear something so outrageously dreadful in public.” “Which is why I’ll never wear it. . .” Dexter replied. He tried not to sound condescending for stating the obvious. “Oh, don’t worry Dexter. That is only phase one of my revenge.” Rarity replied. “Phase two will be a much more . . . tailored approach. And I already have something in mind.” Dexter looked toward the hat then back at the malevolent Rarity. “I’m scared stiff,” he quipped sarcastically. Rarity only continued to grin. “So Dexter,” Rarity said. “Tell me about yourself, from Sweetie Belle I gathered that you’re one of the science-y types, kind of nerdy like Twilight.” That caused the lavender unicorn in question to deadpan, something which Rarity took notice. “Sorry darling,” She added. “Well, now that you mentioned it, Dexter is sort of like me.” Twilight admitted. “Though I’d say he is more like how I was before I came to Ponyville, before I started learning about the magic of friendship.” “I will admit I am the type person who enjoys scientific pursuits, and I consider myself logical rather than emotional.” Dexter replied, slightly indignant. “But I am not ‘nerdy;’ I just don’t refrain from displaying my scientific inclinations. For example, I’m not ashamed to say I have the first fifty thousand digits of pi memorized.” He couldn’t have sounded more like a geek in his tone if he had tried. However, his statement got Twilight to raise an eyebrow. “I see.” Rarity said, turning away to hide another grin. “You’re the type of person who would like a reasoned and logical explanation for everything, no?” “Of course,” Dexter replied. “What other way to live is there . . .” He trailed off as Rarity started laughing. “I didn’t think phase two of my revenge would be so easy . . .” Rarity replied. “Rarity?” Twilight said, in both an uncomfortable and warning tone. “What are you planning?” “Nothing too extreme, darling.” Rarity replied. “I’m just going to make an introduction, and I want Dexter to thank me for every minute of headache it will cause him. . .” “Rarity!” Twilight warned again. The white unicorn turned toward the colt again, before looking up that the shelves of the library books. Finding the highest book, she sent out a pulse of magic and caused it to topple over. It fell to the floor, almost in slow motion for Dexter. However, the gesture only managed to confuse the colt. “Oh woe is me!” Rarity started to whine. It made the three other ponies want to tear off their ears. “Here is a new pony in town, a young colt that has no friends. Only if he had a friend who would make him smile . . .” “Rarity!” It was Applejack this time, apparently having caught on to the white unicorn’s plan. However, the library stayed quiet for a moment after that. Rarity looked around the room, as if expecting something. “Blast,” Rarity remarked. “I was sure that would summon her here, I mean she had to have sensed the book falling. She always gets twitchy when something falls. . .” There was another moment of heavy silence between the mares. However, Dexter was entirely clueless about what was happening. He thought she was making fun of how he was a ‘nerd’ that had no friends. “Yah well,” Dexter began defensively. “I don’t have time for friends.” He couldn’t say he had any friends in Ponyville yet, it was only his fourth day in town after all. “Who needs friends anyway?” However, the very instant those words left his mouth, there was a loud thump from a nearby window. Whatever hit the window should have shattered it, yet for some unexplainable reason, the window was perfectly intact. It happened so quickly it startled the colt, causing him to look wide-eyed at the window while Rarity let out a near maniacal laugh. A giant pink blob pressed against the far side of the window, and bore a set of crystal blue eyes that starred down at the colt in glee. It wore a smile so large it could eclipse the sun. “You do,” The she-blob answered, “You need friends . . .” --- -A/N- Warning: Dexter's mental meltdown is in progress. *I REALLY hope you get that reference. I felt it fit so well. Again, if you're interested, check out the blog posts. I actually re-wrote this chapter and I'll post the uneditted original in a blog post. I think the original was funnier, but it did things I felt weren't practical for the story.