Chapter XII
Corporal Swift Wing yawned as he patrolled through town. Usually, the town of Ponyville didn’t require a guard detail, though it still had one because of its close proximity to the Everfree Forest. It was widely considered to be a cushy post, since the high concentration of Earth Ponies was usually enough to keep the more dangerous monsters away.
That had confused Swift Wing at first. Most Earth Ponies hadn’t trained their magical abilities to be combat ready, so he was at a loss as to explain why this would make any difference to a hungry hydra. He had even asked around a bit, only to have been told by the rather cantankerous matriarch of the Apple Family that: ‘Them critters know enough to stay away, if they know what’s good for ‘em.’ And, despite the vagueness of the answer, Corporal Swift Wing had taken what the elderly Earth Pony had said at face value. Especially after the Elements of Harmony had been rediscovered.
Despite the fact that the town had quickly become a ‘Nexus of Weirdness’ as some of the newer recruits called it, the locals were still able to handle anything that was thrown their way, albeit with a whole lot of screaming from some of the more skittish ones.
Yet, here he was, patrolling the town, despite its reputation as one of the toughest little towns around. He couldn’t really blame the higher ups for their decision, however.
After all, the monsters described in the briefing weren’t a joke, especially if they were capable of spewing Dragonfire.
Just my luck to be patrolling ‘The Nexus’ right before an invasion, he thought as he rounded another corner. I’m probably going to get eaten first…
As he turned around to continue his route, he slowly became aware of the sound of galloping hooves coming from the direction of Whitetail. He turned around, only to see two ponies barreling towards him, abject terror written all over their faces.
“Hold, there, sir, madam,” he said, opening his wings to show that he wanted them to stop. “What seems to be the problem?”
“M-mon-monster,” the stallion said as he desperately tried to catch his breath. “Monster, trapped us, told us to give the guard something…”
“Hold it,” Swift Wing said as a sinking feeling built in his gut. “What kind of monster? Can you describe it?”
“It-it had four legs and four arms,” the mare said as she waved her hooves about. “It also had some sort of staff in its grip, though I’ve never seen a staff that glowed before.”
Swift Wing’s face became stony at those words. “Sir, ma’am, you’re going to have to come with me,” he said seriously. “The sergeant is going to want to hear this.”
* * *
The silence that followed Moon's announcement would have been quite profound, had I not immediately burst out laughing at what she said.
“M-m-me? Use magic? You gotta be kidding me!” I said as I fell on my rear, much to Wonder's distress.
“Alex! No laugh at Moon Goddess!” she scolded, slapping me on the thigh with a hoof.
I couldn't help it though. What Moon had said was so... so ridiculous, that I couldn't contain myself. However, as I looked back up at Moon, the serious expression on her face quickly sobered me up.
“Wait... you're serious, aren't you?” I asked, my heart quickly sinking. She just nodded at that, to which I then cradled my head in my hands. “Oh man...”
“Why you sad?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.
“I'm not sad, I'm overwhelmed,” I told her as I glanced up briefly. “First, I learn that your treatment has backfired, and that I'm slowly mutating into some kind of monster that isn't quite what I was, but still isn't quite human. Not your fault, but you can still see why I'd be upset about that.”
Moon nodded at that. “Yes, to understanding.”
“Then I find out you've been muddling about in my dreams, and despite your noble intentions, it still freaks me the heck out,” I said with a sigh. “I understand wanting to keep my nightmares from roaming the waking world, and I respect that. But just so you know, where I come from, stuff like that would be considered an extreme invasion of privacy.”
Moon bowed her head in apology at that. “I apology, I not realize this such problem you people.”
Even though I heard her, I chose to ignore her and continue with my rant. “And now I find out that somehow, I've gained the ability to use whatever crazy power you call magic? As cool as that sounds, and as much as it fulfills all my childhood dreams, I can't help but feel... but feel...” I stopped, being unable to attach that damning label to myself.
Moon took a step forward at my hesitation. “Not worry, you not alone.”
“That's where you're wrong, I am alone. I'm a...” I stopped again, taking the time to swallow the lump that had appeared in my throat at the thought of that horrible word. “...I'm the only one of my kind on this planet, and soon, I won't even be my own kind...”
As I sat there, listlessly staring at my hands, I felt a tug on my Awesome Pants of Wonder, causing me to glance up at whomever was trying to get my attention. My gaze immediately fell on Thorn, who looked at me with those large, sad eyes. “You not freak.”
“But...”
At this, the small dragon stomped his foot, a stern expression on his pudgy little face. “You not. Not even think,” he said as he folded his claws in front of him. “May not know like, only kind planet, but know like only dragon, pony town.”
I stared at the small child as he sternly shook his finger at me, not quite believing what was happening. “If thing, you less strange, that use magic. Maybe not normal home, but normal here. Everyone here some magic. Not alone, either. Have friends, people care, so no think freak, yes?”
I continued to stare at the little dragon for what seemed like hours after he had finished. Then, unexpectedly, I felt the corner of my mouth turn up. “O-okay, you got it,” I stuttered as I looked at him.
He nodded his head at that, then backed up again. “Gonna hold that,” he said, pointing a claw at me sternly. “No more sorry self, yes?”
“Yes sir,” I said as I got back to my feet. As I did so, though, I couldn't help but notice the amused look that Moon was giving Thorn, or the look of absolute shock on Wonder's face. “W-Wonder, I'm sorry for messing up your measurements. If it's all right, could we continue from where we last left off?” I asked meekly.
“Ahem, yes, course. And Wonder, darling, not- well, no, language spell probably failed, so Wonder fine,” she said as she started to measure my leg again.
“I'm sorry to you as well, Moon, I'm afraid I forgot my manners,” I told the regal blue pony.
“It alright Alex. Know quite lot, been through, you. Maybe we continue later?” she asked as she raised an eyebrow at me.
“No, we need to do this. I'd also like to see any of the other things you might have recovered, just in case they're something we can use against those bug things.”
Moon smiled at that, then nodded. “As case be, then move on. As soon Wonder done measuring, we test magic, make sure not hurt others or self.”
I nodded at that. “Sounds good. I definitely wouldn't want to be, say, accidentally giving off toxic radiation without even knowing it,” I said. You might think I was joking about that, but I've seen Heroes, and I didn't want to end up as another Exploding Man. Especially not after everything that these wonderful ponies had done for me. That would have been beyond tragic.
“No, such thing need years train, even emit tiny bit,” Moon said with a laugh. “Still, may cause problems not handled.”
I nodded at that, then watched as Moon levitated the next object on the tray towards me. “What this?” she asked, holding up the round object.
“I-I don't know,” I admitted. “It might be an explosive of some kind, but on the other hand, it might be a tool. Either way, it looks too broken to do anything, now.”
Despite my claims that it was busted, however, Moon still put down the device with the utmost care. “Tell ponies down research be careful...” she told her assistant.
The pony at her side nodded at that, then made a note on his notepad. Moon then skipped the other round things and went straight to the small pistol-like device. I assumed that she did this because she figured that I would have given a similar answer to the other grenade-like object.
As her aura enveloped the small, pistol-like device, however, I held out my hand as worry shot through my brain. “You probably want to be careful with that one,” I told her.
She looked equally as worried at my words, the aura around the alien device quickly disappearing. “Why that? Is will explode?” she asked nervously.
I just shook my head at that. “No, but it's still probably very dangerous. Wonder, are you done?” I asked the white unicorn.
“Yes, Alex, ” she said, hanging her measuring tape over her neck. “Just wait, you be best dressed ~human~ all time!” she said, holding out a hoof dramatically.
I couldn't help but repress a giggle at that. “At this point, I could go with simply being fully clothed,” I told her as I let my body relax.
Wonder looked at me oddly, then quirked an eyebrow. “If not mind ask, why need be clothed all time? Not complaining about challenge, but...” she trailed off.
I rubbed my eyes at that. I knew this conversation was going to come, but I had hoped that it could have been avoided at all costs. “Well, you see, among my people, it is taboo to go around naked,” I told her, hoping that she would take it like that, and leave it there.
However, it turned out that I would have no such luck. “Why that?” Wonder asked curiously. “It not taboo here, why taboo home?”
I sighed at that, then decided on the scientific method of explanation, in hopes that it would lessen the awkward that I was about to set upon their unprepared pony minds. “Well... it stems mainly from the fact that our... reproductive organs... aren't as easily hidden from view as yours are,” I said, quickly bringing the awkward up to eleven. “It is generally considered vulgar to go about naked, and we only do it in very special circumstances. Such as when we bathe, or...” I explained, but stopped as my eyes darted towards the kid in the room. “Well, let's just leave it at 'special circumstances.'”
Wonder had the decency to look flustered at that, while Thorn looked completely lost. “Wait, what is creation body part?” Thorn asked curiously.
“Tell when older, Thorn,” Wonder said as she quickly started to pack everything up.
“But...” Thorn started to say. However, he was interrupted as Wonder scooped him up with her magic and deposited him on her back.
“Tell when older. If told now, Evening Twinkle kill me,” Wonder said as she wisely retreated from the room.
During all of this, Moon remained completely unfazed, strangely enough. The assistant next to her, however, began to furiously write down something on his notepad. “This doesn't bother you?” I asked her curiously.
Moon chuckled at that. “I lived long enough, such things bring no shame. Is normal part life, though can understand why others feel shame,” Moon answered. “Thing is... special. Most treat as shameful to talk. Not shameful, just special, must treat such.”
I nodded at that. “Yes, well, back to what we were talking about before,” I said awkwardly as I strode up to the trolley. Old enough to not be worried by such things? What the heck is that supposed to mean? I thought as I reached out for the pistol-like device.
However, I knew well enough to never question a lady about her age. That kind of thing shortened one's lifespan considerably.
“Well? You say it dangerous, possibly?” Moon asked as I started to look over the strange device.
“Yeah... I'm not sure, but I think this might be a weapon,” I told her, a little bit distracted as I spoke.
The device was chrome, except for what appeared to be glass on either side of the barrel. The barrel itself didn't look like it fired any kind of projectile, but instead had a weird set of wires and tubes where the muzzle should have been. As I examined it, I became more and more certain that it was simply a smaller version of the weird, fire-spewing rifles that the bugs used. After all, I had held those before, and the designs were remarkably similar.
“What kind weapon?” Moon asked uneasily.
I looked up at that, then back down at the pistol. “Well, I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure this is simply a smaller version of those flame-spitting weapons that the bugs used on me back at my cave,” I told her. “Do you have any more of these?”
“Few, though most have look broken. That one best condition, though, not counting ones from aliens that hurt Alex,” Moon told me as she eyed the pistol in my grip.
“Well, make sure you're careful with these things. They aren't toys, and must be treated with respect,” I told her. “Unlike other weapons, these could go off by accident, hurting, or possibly even killing someone.”
She looked scared at that, which she should, since guns were no joking matter.
You were right, Jerry, I did need to know this stuff, I thought to myself as I started showing her the finer points of firearms safety. As I did so, I couldn't help but picture Jerry's mustachioed face, grinning in triumph. Man, even when you aren't here, you can still rub it in my face.
* * *
Twilight yawned as she looked over the plans for the Omniscope. While she had everything necessary to complete the darn thing, there were a few things missing in the actual spell and enchantment department. Starswirl had only completed a small scale version of the thing, and while the smaller version of the Omniscope was really good at detecting the molecular bonds of atoms, it tended to get lost when trying to find anything beyond a radius of twenty feet.
Starswirl had, of course, begun construction on a much larger scale version of the Omniscope. It was supposed to be his crowning achievement, but he had sadly died before he was able to finish, completing neither his calculations, nor the golem that was supposed to act as the control.
After his death, the whole project had been shelved, being labeled as either too expensive to complete, or as the years passed, too difficult to finish. Most would say that the calculations were the reason why they never got it finished, or that they lacked the Arcanite needed for the runes.
In the end, however, it all boiled down to the impossible specifications that were needed for the golem’s construction. Twilight sighed as she once again delved into Starswirl’s notes, feeling inadequate for the task, as her major dealt with more generalized magic, rather than golemancy specifically.
“Whatcha doing?” A bubbly pink voice asked, causing Twilight to nearly jump out of her fur.
“Ghah! Pinkie? Don’t sneak up on me like that!” Twilight gasped as she desperately tried to get her heart back under control.
“Ah, but that’s no fun!” Pinkie said, pouting a little at Twilight.
“Did you need something, Pinkie? As much as I’d like to play, I frankly don’t have the time for that right now,” Twilight said as she focused back on her notes.
“Nah, I’m here to help you, silly!” Pinkie said as she bounced around the table. “We have to get this thing up as fast as possible, or we’re in trouble, right? Well, I thought: ‘Two heads are better than one, so maybe I could help you figure out how to fix it up!’”
“No offense, Pinkie, but this is something even the Princesses have had trouble with, and they actually studied under Starswirl,” Twilight said with a shake of her head.
“Well, I can try, and if I can’t help any, I can at least bring you snacks!” Pinkie said, holding up a tray of cupcakes. “You can’t save the day on an empty stomach!”
Twilight smiled at that as she gratefully took one of the proffered treats. “Thanks Pinkie, but I really don’t know how much help you could be.”
Pinkie wouldn’t be dissuaded, however. Instead of leaving like Twilight had hoped, she plopped down at the table across from Twilight, her chin propped up on her upturned hooves. “Try me,” she said, an intense look of concentration on her face.
Twilight sighed at that, then let her chin rest on the paper in front of her. “Well, I’m trying to design a golem that is capable of processing a large amount of sensory information, while at the same time also being able to target a specific point in space and analyze all information about that point in space,” she grunted impatiently. “On top of that, it needs to be able to use the sensory information it’s receiving to scan for anything strange, while at the same time make it able to both take specific instructions from a pony, and give comprehensive feedback.”
“Wowie…” Pinkie said, her eyes widening a bit.
“Yeah... I’ve already contacted the greatest golemancers of our age, and they say that this has been something they’ve been working on for ages. In fact, quite a few curled up and started crying when I showed them the requirements Starswirl wrote out. Even the minotaurs haven’t been able to crack this conundrum, and they’re better golemancers than Starswirl ever was,” Twilight said dejectedly, then fixed Pinkie with a piercing stare. “Did you understand any of that?”
“Not a word!” Pinkie said with a huge smile on her face.
Twilight sighed again, then levitated one of the papers in front of her. “I’m starting to think that this is going to be impossible to complete. We’d probably be better off concentrating our efforts on making a planet-wide forcefield, or by letting Discord have a crack at the aliens…”
However, instead of impressing the seriousness of the situation on the erratic pink mare, Pinkie just blew a raspberry at Twilight’s pessimism. “Nah, if the Princesses thought that this was our best bet, then obviously it's our best bet,” Pinkie said as she bounced a little. “Besides, if ~Alex~ is able to make golems that complicated, then clearly it's not impossible, and he can’t even use magic!”
“Yeah, I guess you’re… wait, what?” she asked as Pinkie started to bounce her way out of the room. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘~Alex~ is able to make golems like that?'”
Pinkie stopped at that, then turned towards her friend. “Well, I had asked ~Alex~ what he did for a living back home, and he told me he talked to and designed ‘calculation devices,’” Pinkie said with a grin. “I asked him what a ‘calculation device’ was, and he sighed all sad like, and said:” at this point, Pinkie’s voice dropped as she attempted to mimic the ~human’s~ voice and speech patterns. “It like golem, but only for thinking. It process lots information, very fast, very efficient.”
As Pinkie talked, however, she failed to notice the slight twitch that had developed at the corner of Twilight’s eye. “Then he said he was working on a ‘calculation device’ that was supposedly able to mimic the ~human~ brain, but he had been stolen before he was ever able to complete it…” Pinkie said with a shrug. “Anyway, I had asked him how, but he just shrugged and said that he never was able to work out that part.”
However, as Pinkie finished with what she was saying, Twilight disappeared in a flash of purple light, taking her notes with her.
Instead of becoming alarmed, or offended, Pinkie looked around for a second, as if trying to figure out where her purple friend had disappeared to. “Ooh, are we playing hide and seek now?” she asked, striking a pose. “Well, no one is a match for Pinkie Pie! I’m the hide and seek champ!”
And without another word, Pinkie took off, thoroughly engaged in a game only she knew she was playing.