DON'T CALL ME CUTE

by Flutterpriest


OH GOD. GOOD. THATS OVER

You look to the closed door, then back down to your hands. You can’t help but sigh to yourself.

Twilight really means well. She’s your friend. And, well, it’s hard not to justify her position. 

You collapse back into bed.

She’s being too hard on herself. And to give her a little credit, you haven’t exactly been the easiest to work with. Both of you could do better at dealing with this situation. Also, she’s close. Really close. She got you this far. You have hands now.

But things can’t keep going this way. Being a kid in this world is hard enough. Being a weird kid is even harder.

“This sucks.”

You sit up.

“But, I know what I gotta do.”

You cross the room and open the door. The light from the rest of the Crystal Castle nearly blinds your eyes, as if you were emerging from some sort of tomb after a long slumber.

“Twilight?” you call out.

You look around, but the purple alicorn is nowhere in sight. You’re making your way downstairs, walking fast, statues pass, and…

You’re home now.

You’re not sure when the feeling invaded your mind, but for what time you’ve actually spent in Equestria, and even littler time in the castle, you can’t help but find yourself… attached to the castle. Sure, you have your own home on the outside of Ponyville. But you can’t say you haven’t gotten used to the spacious halls. The various works of art. The many rooms. 

The luxury.

An involuntary smile curls on your lips as you round a corner and find Spike. He lumbers through the hall and groans.

“Do you need the everything bag?” he asks. “I can get the everything bag, again.”

“Nah,” you reply.

“Oh, thank Celestia. That bag sucks.”

“I bet. I’m actually looking for, Twilight.”

“She’s in the study. I knocked but she said she wanted to be left alone for a while.”

“Alright, thanks,” you say, taking a few steps past Spike.

“Hey, uh,” he asks. “Are you going to… go back?”

You stop and turn to face him. 

“Well, as much as I like these,” you show your best jazz hands. “It’s probably not the best idea to keep them. BDSM isn’t really my kink.”

He chuckles and nods.

“Well, darn. It was gonna be nice to have somepony else in the castle with claws.”

“Speaking of,” you close the distance. “Have you ever played Rock, Paper, Scissors? Is that a thing in Equestria?”

Spike pauses for a moment. You show him the rock, paper, and scissors signs.

“OH! Jaw, Rock, Hammer! That’s a dragon game I learned when visiting Dragonlord Ember.”

“Well,” you ask. “Before I have hooves, how about a best two out of three?”


You knock on the door to the study.

“Not right now, Spike. I said-”

“Actually,” you interrupt through the door. “It’s me.”

There’s a silence. Then, you hear some muffled hoofsteps on the other side of the door. One quiet click on the door handle, and at last, it opens.

“Hi,” Twilight says weakly.

“Hey,” you say.

Another moment of silence passes between you and her as you step inside the study. You look throughout the room, mostly because it’s an excuse not to have to look Twilight in the eye. Thumbtacked into walls and strung by red lines are page after page of spells and notes.

“Is this… all spell research?”

“Yeah,” she responds. “Spellcrafting is… really difficult. And not many ponies have crafted a purely original spell since Starswirl the Bearded. Sending letters to him is really, really slow, so, this is what I have to do.”

Your eyes move to a trashcan in the corner, overflowing with papers.

“It would have taken years to build up this info. Well, for a normal pony I guess.”

Twilight clears her throat, ready to address the elephant in the room.

“So, um. What did you decide?”

“Well, I think I’m ready to go back to a pony,” you say looking down at your hands. “Turns out Spike is really good at Rock, Paper, Scissors, so what’s the point if I can’t destroy him at games, you know?”

Twilight remains silent  and closes the distance between you and her. She places a hoof on your shoulder, and a part of you can’t help but feel warm inside at her touch.

“And?” she asks.

“Well, your bed is comfier than mine, so I think I could stick around for awhile,” you mumble.

Finally, you decide to look Twilight in the eye. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are teetering on pink. You notice, by a glimpse of the light, a tear streak she may have missed.

“If that’s alright with you, anyway.”

Twilight nods, a sniffle escaping her nose,

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

You reach your arms out and wrap them around Twilight’s neck. You feel one of her hooves wrap around your back, and her wings enclose around you, pulling you tight.

And everything just feels right.

“Alright, alright. Let’s rev up those fryers before I forget how to use hooves.”

“You got it, Anon.” Twilight breaks the hug takes a few steps back. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

A bright purple light fills the room. A purple blast of light shoots toward you

“Wait, could I be a -”

The spell connects.

You blink.

“Guy.”

Sure enough, you look down, and you’re on four hooves again.You sit down, and feel down there.

“S*%$#”

“There we go. Back to normal.”

You glare at Twilight.

“I mean, a P$#@$ would have been nice. Wait. I can’t say P$#@!??? How do you ponies teach Sex Ed!”

Twilight shakes her head and smiles.