I’ve been rewriting this for the last ten days and each time to becomes lamer :( Might as well just send this and be done with it. It’s not the words that count... or something like that...
Mare I can’t believe how lame I am. Is not even the first time I write you this, but it will be the last. No, I won’t run away like last time or get into a drama flame war or something stupid... there’s just something I need to get off my chest.
I love you, Jade. I’ve loved you ever since I first saw you. You’re a real *yay* on the site, but you’re so incredibly nice and gentle... and *yay* are you hot.
I tried to forget you, I tried to think of other things, see other ponies, but you’re always there in my mind like Celestia’s sun. I can’t unlove you, I don’t think I ever will, and I know it will never work out. I’ve seen how in love you are with Max, and that was even before you became a father to be. Now... if I had a snowball’s chance in Tartarus, even it has gone.
Life is what it is and you’ll never share my love.
That’s everything I wanted to say. Corny, I know. But you always said I couldn’t write worth *yay*. :)
Take care, Jade,
AwesomePony
Don’t do anything stupid! Where are you?
Jade
I’m in a corner in a room somewhere crying my eyes out, but I’m fine, really, don’t worry about it. I promised I won’t do anything stupid and you know I’ll keep my promise to you.
It hurts like *yay* but I can handle it. I must. My whole life I’ve gotten everything I’ve wanted and more. I'd have given it all away if I could just have had you.
AwesomePony
I’m sorry...
Jade
Yeah, I know. It’ll get better with time, I hope. If not I can always ask TrueSparkle to zap my mind and stuff. To tell you the truth I don’t want to. As much as it hurts, I’ll keep loving. I’ll become captain of the Wonderbolts, I’ll save Equestria on a monthly basis, I’ll get a dozen cats to live with me and tank, and I’ll have you, always there in my mind beautiful as the day we met.
And I’ll still have Daring Do Danny Adventures. Some pony from Manehattan asked if I want to have it published. Says I could make a lot of bits out of that. It’s not that I need bits. I have more than I could do with.
I told him to talk to you in a few months. I don’t understand anything of that stuff, plus you and Twist have written as much about this as I have.
AwesomePony
He already got in touch, back when I was in the army. Said it would be nice to have a stallion in uniform on the cover. I told him to get lost. If you want I’ll call him back.
Jade
Why do we keep having this same conversation, Jade? Maybe I’m going crazy, but I feel that each time it’s the same. I go cry on your shoulder and you make me feel better. And then things get back to normal until the next time... and the next. I can’t keep living like this.
*yay*! I’m such a mess right now. Millions of ponies and I had to fall in love with one who’s married.
AwesomePony
Did you talk to InItForTheShipping? Maybe she’ll be able to help. She has helped a lot of ponies. She helped me and Max when we were first dating.
Talk to her.
Jade
I’m afraid.
What if she tells me what I already know? That I won’t fine anypony else and am doomed to be forever alone watching my friends get married, have foals, and live a full life. Up to an year ago I thought dating and marriage was for fools. I wanted to go faster, further, to see things that nopony else has seen and kick *yay* in the process.
What the *yay* happened? Fluttershy is engaged, Applejack will be in a few weeks at most, Pinkie has Cheese, Rarity is “discreetly dating somepony”, even Twilight is snuggling a villain that almost destroyed Equestria. Why must I be the one who’s always left out?
AwesomePony
I still believe you’ll find somepony that would make you happy.
Jade
But that somepony won’t be you. Trust me I’ve tried. There were several stallions who I invited out. One even had a thing for me, but after a few tries we decided to drop it.
I only have space for you in my heart. Maybe I’m just broken, or just useless trash that nopony would want. I just
Edit: I’ve taken a week off. I’ll spend it crying. Maybe if I cry it out it won’t hurt that much.
AwesomePony
You need to talk to someone. Please go to InItForTheShipping. I know she can help.
I’ll make you promise if I have to.
Jade
You always knew you could make me do anything. That’s so unfair.
I promise. But not right now. I still need to be alone for a while. Nopony will notice that I’m gone for a few days. There are far too many things to celebrate. I’ve done my rainbooms, so everyone will just assume I’m off resting or something.
I want you to promise me something as well, though. Promise me you’ll be happy, okay? Me knowing that eases the pain... it eases the pain a lot.
AwesomePony
I’ll do more than promise. I’ll promise to ale you smile. Anytime you want I’ll take you to Sugarcube Corner, alone or with anypony you want.
Jade
Heh, is that you subtly shipping me with somepony? I don’t honk it will happen. And right now I don’t know if I want to. I love you, but I think I must learn to accept the truth and live my life best I could.
Goodbye my first and only love. I’ll see you around.
AwesomePony