Prison is hell.
You feel yourself locked behind iron bars, glaring around at the ponies around you have resigned themselves to their fates. They don’t know anything else. They’ve grown up in the system and have learned to accept it. When they finally get out, no, if-- Then what? Will they be even able to adjust to normal society?
“Anon,” Cheerilee asks you. “Why do you never play with the other ponies during recess?”
You glare up at her.
“Well, when else would I get to think of my emo poetry.”
“Why do you never submit THAT during our poetry assignments. If you sent me that instead of lewd limericks--”
“Don’t kink shame me, Cheerilee.”
She opens her mouth to tell you off, but then realizes that you’re a fully grown human man inside a little filly’s body. Her cheeks flush, then resumes watching the students play.
“In all seriousness, Anon,” she continues. “If your situation turns out to be permanent, I think you’d be happier if you learn to accept what is happening around you right now, and not some farther off, unsure future.”
A lump cements itself in your throat, but you raise to all fours.
“Twilight’s going to figure it out, Cheerilee. Just believe in her.”
“Do you believe in her, Anon?”
“Of course I do!” you interject. “I have to. Because if I don’t go back, then what?”
“Then what, Anon?” Cheerilee asks.
You sit, staring out across the children.
“You know, back in my home world, a grown man playing with a little kid that wasn’t theirs got the cops called on him?”
Cheerilee looks down at you in shock.
“Why?”
You exhale and shake your head.
“It’s really not worth getting into. Earth was a dark place. But, some conditioning is hard to break, Cheerilee. It doesn’t feel right to me playing with the kids. It feels like I’m doing something wrong. So. I dunno.”
Cheerilee looks up to the school clock, and notices that recess has ended for the day. She pulls a whistle up to her mouth and blows it loudly. The children all begin to scurry inside, bringing with them their jump ropes and sports balls.
“Let me think about that, Anon,” she says. “Maybe there’s something I can do to help.”
You shake your head and head on inside.
“I really don’t need your pity.”
Life never gets easier, does it?
Each and every day, you have to jump higher and higher. You miss even one obstacle, or don’t jump high enough, you’re left reeling for days. But the obstacles keep coming. And you can’t shut down. You can never shut down. Or you’ll fall so far behind that… well, what’s the point?
“If you keep staring at those fillies, I’m going to tell them to invite you to jump rope, Anon.”
“Please don’t,” you interject. “And I was just about to get deep with my poetry.”
“I thought about your problem last night,” Cheerilee shares. “And I think I have a solution.”
“What?” you ask. “I don’t have a problem.”
“Well, you standing here next to me during every recess is considered a problem.”
“Why?”
“Well, it means the student isn’t properly integrating into the class. And if that’s the case, how would they integrate into society?”
You look up at her and glare at her.
“What are you saying?”
“Well, think about it, Anon. Let’s say you DO get your body back. Then what? You go back to your house and continue to drink on Friday nights and do any odd job you can get around town?”
“You don’t know my life, Cheerilee. Also, how do you know my weekly schedule?”
“Please, Anon,” Cheerilee says. “I’m a single mare with needs. And if you think that I’m not sizing up every stallion in town, you’re crazy.”
You blink and shake your head.
“I am not your problem to fix, Cheerilee.”
“I’m not here to fix you, Anon. I just want to help you live a little more in the present. Celestia forbid it might make you a little happier.”
You sigh.
“I already know they don’t like me. Hell, I was bullied just a few weeks ago.”
“So, you’re hiding next to the teacher so that you won’t get hurt?”
You remain silent and continue to watch the kids. You can’t help but watch on as a group of kids begin to play kickball. Man, it’s been forever. It would be fun to ask to join.
But how would you even do that?
Hello fellow kids. I am a fully grown man in a little kid’s body. Let me play with you in a totally not weird way.
But the whistle blows loudly, and puts an end to your reverie.
“Oh,” you mumble.
The filly holding the ball rolls it quickly to the other team’s kicker. The colt runs up and blasts the ball with all of his might. The ball flies to the third-baseman, who catches it with her wings. That’s two outs.
Your concentration is broken when your vision goes black.
“IM A GROWN MAN. THIS IS NOT YOUR FETISH.”
“Anon,” Cheerilee says, unenthused. “It’s a hat.”
You pull it off, and sure enough, you seem to have a new blue cap. On the front, a badge with the title “Hall Monitor” engraved in it.
“Congrats, you have a position of power now,” she says.
“Well that was a terrible idea,” you say to her. “I’m going to totally abuse this.”
“I really don’t think you will,” Cheerilee says. “I think you put on the ‘big jerk’ act as a defense mechanism. So, now, big jerk--”
“Mr. Jerk,” you interrupt.
“I need you to go referee that kickball game and make sure nopony gets in any fights or gets hurt. Okay?”
You look up to her, then back to the game.
“What if they don’t want me to play?” you ask.
“Then you try again. And you wear them down little by little until you get what you want.”
“Just like dating?” you ask.
Cheerilee looks down at you and sighs.
“I’m going to need a bottle of wine tonight.”
“Story of my love life,” you share, trotting away to the kids.
You eye up the pitcher and recognize that pony with a skull for a cutie mark. You can’t help but feel like it’s metal as f$%$.
As you approach the group, you can’t help but notice many of the children eyeing you carefully.
“Hey, uhm.” you say to the metal as f$%$ filly, walking through the field as the kids take their place. “Anypony need another teammate?”
“Yeah!” she says, “We need a shortstop. You game?”
“Yeah!”
You take your spot and watch. And play.
You look over your shoulder to Cheerilee who smiles gently.
The school bell rings and you sloppily dump your books into your bag. Of course you have to learn a whole different set of history. Math, science, writing (except for the using your mouth part) is all exactly the same. But you have to learn a whole NEW world history. Ugh.
“Hey, Anon,” you hear an unfamiliar voice call to you. You turn and find the skull cutie marked filly standing by your desk.
“Oh hey,” you say. “Petunia, right?”
“Yeah! Hey. You did really good at kickball today. Was it really your first time playing?”
“Well," You say. "Not really. The whole… adult in a child’s body thing.”
“Either way,” she says. “We’re playing a big game on Saturday in the park, and I think we can beat them for sure if you join our team. Are you in?”
You feel as if time stops for a second. A warmth builds in your chest and a smile involuntarily curls on your lips.
“Yeah, I’m in. For sure.”
“Awesome. Then see you tomorrow, Anon!”
Petunia scurries out of the classroom, leaving just you and Cheerilee. You pull the hat off your head, not realizing you wore it all day. You zip up your bag, sling it on, and walk up to Cheerilee’s desk.
“Uhm. I wanted to thank you for this,” you say, placing the hat on the desk. “But I’m not sure I need it anymore.”
“Keep it,” Cheerilee says with a smile.
She opens a drawer and pulls out a clear bag filled with dozens of identical caps.
“You know what the difference between a child and an adult is, Anon?” she asks.
You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
“Experience. Building the courage to do the things that scare them. What you do or what your responsibilities are don’t make you an adult. It’s how you live,” she says with a smile. “That’s why I became a teacher.”
You grab the hat and put it back on.
“Thanks, Cheerilee,” you say. “I think I learned something today.”
“Then I’m doing my job,” she says. “Tell Twilight hi for me.”
“Sure,” you say. You make your way to the door and push it wide.
“And be nice to Spike!” she adds as an afterthought.
“F$#@~ you, Cheerilee. You can’t tell me what to do!”
She chuckles lightly as you slam the door.
“Stupid Cheerilee. What does she even know.”
But never-the-less. You gallop home with a new confidence in your step, plans for your weekend, and one b%$#@in hat.