Equestrian Fanfiction

by Lise

RRBB's Pregnancy Discussion PMs

Hey, Octavia. Sorry about this, but I need to talk to your husband. Is he there?

RRBB

Are you there?

RRBB

Hellooooo?

RRBB

Excuse me, who is this?

Octavia

Diamond Tiara. I thought you knew the Nightling nicknames by now. (Rich and Spoilt’s daughter; the fillyfooler.)

RRBB

Oh, my apologies. Of course, I know who you are :) You asked me if I was potentially interested for work for hire on your Dream Productions project.

Discord is here and is not (as he usually is). I'll fetch him do you.

Octavia

Many thanks!

RRBB

Well, it's high time you got in touch with a real professional in reality transformation, not that dream amateur stuff that Lulu does. Not that I blame you, I could be intimidating and considering my vast experience it's normal for you to think I'd reject your offer.

Note, that I don't accept any offer. One must be of extremely good standing to have a chance to be even considered for consideration. And just because you use your connections and got my wife to reach me is no guarantee I'd agree.

Octavia

:/ You do the setting of O&O games every week with Spike and Big Mac. And that’s not I what I want to talk to you about.

I want to have foals and you can help.

RRBB

Oh, my! ;.;

So straightforward it's scandalous! And asking a married draconequus, no less!

Octavia

I want to have foals with Short&Hoofy, not you! :/

RRBB

Oh. Well, maybe you should have been more clear! Wars have started for my affection, you know! Kingdoms have fallen in despair, princesses have crossed horns in chivalrous battle!

Also my Bard character happens to be admired by half the population! The other half are just jealous.

So, you and Short want a foal. To be expected. Disappointing, to be honest. I was expecting some surprising turn of events. Like you falling for your old flame YouKnowWho…who turns out to be PaintDrop’s changeling in disguise. Then Short&Hoofy is heartbroken and leaves you for PaintDrop, making you leave on an insane adventure to win back her heart, but in the process learn that you are in love with PaintDrop, Short&Hoofy, and YouKnowWho, ultimately managing to build your very own harem of mares who adore you…

Octavia

Oh, mare… :/ where do I even start?

You know you're talking to a EqF curator, right? You're herb shipping fic is so bad it isn't even among the worst ten percent of trash I receive daily! Harem of 3, ha! How about a harem of humans, ponies, and griffins, with a few taurs for flavor? Or a multi-changeling harem in which no one is sure who's human and not and there's no clear indication who the harem belongs to?

And those are just the fics that I let pass.

RRBB

Everyone's a critic :/

So what do you want?

Octavia

I just told you! I want you to make it so that I and Short can have foals! :/

How did you manage to ever take over Equestria? :/

RRBB

No need to shout. Someone is definitely grouchy today.

And, pray, why should I do anything you ask? It's not like I have nothing better to do, you know.

Octavia

I'll personally edit your terrible stories and drag them past curation.

RRBB

I have no idea what you're talking about!

Octavia

My two human Discords, Jester’s Cap, Chaos and the Goddess, My human conspiracy, oh and how could I forget Rise of the Discord Corporation.

RRBB

You have no proof! It might have been my wife! She has strange and unusual taste!

Octavia

I can see that… So, you want them approved or not?

RRBB

All of them, right? I mean, all except Jester’s Cap. I don't think I managed to completely catch Karl’s character there. (He is best humie, after all, despite the claims of the vastly uninformed.)

So, this should be easy. Just tell me when you want it done and I'll transform Short&Hoofy into a stallion. Should be straightforward from there.

Octavia

What the *yay*?!?

Why the buck would I want her to be a stallion?!

RRBB

Well, excuuuuuse me :/ Not my fault you've being dismally unspecific! (There's just no pleasing some ponies…)

I'll transform you into a stallion and you can enjoy your perverted roleplay from there on.

Octavia

I don't want you to transform anypony into a stallion!

RRBB

Huh? What in Equestria do they teach you in school? In order for a child to be born a mare and a stallion must like each other very much and—this is the important part—there must be a mare and a stallion.

Don't tell me you believe the story that all children arrive on a cloud that floats to the door of their parents?

Octavia

I know how children are born! Why do you think I'm talking to you?! I want you to come up with something that would make me get pregnant with Short’s child without having to transform into anything. Can you do that?

RRBB

I suppose it's possible… though I'll probably get to do it only once. Repeating something dilutes the chaos and might bring to the end of reality as we know it. Plus, I don't want to lose my extravagance factor.

Of course, you know that your child—and by your I mean Short’s too—will have a spark of chaos inside it? Not enough to do chaos magic or anything… I think… but certainly a handful. Come to think about it, that might be amusing :)

By the way, you've discussed all this with Short&Hoofy, right? \./

Octavia

Not yet. I want to surprise her.

RRBB

Well, that's good enough for me. When do you want to start? I'll need both of you at the same place for this to work properly.

Octavia

In a few months, maybe later. I want to graduate and establish my business first.

I will edit your stories in the meantime. That sound fair?

RRBB

Hmm… why not? I accept! When you decide, just let me know and I'll be right there.

Octavia

Good. And not a word to anypony, especially Short&Hoofy.

RRBB

I wouldn't dream of it :D

Octavia

Comments

[redmar]

Unless Short and RRBB will have a talk about this relatively soon this is not going to end well. They need to talk to eachother about their wish to have foals. Discord might very well dream about in a way that attracts the attention of Princess Luna. If you don't tell Discord exactly what you want he's going to make the wrong conclusion probably on purpose.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Hoo boy. The question here isn't whether this will go awry, it's in how many ways. And how large the blast radius will be, especially if the chaotic lesbian spawn is a unicorn.

Also, of course Discord would play a bard once he got into the spirit of things.

[Mocha Star]

That ship has never set sail...
What, have, you, done?!

Good one though.

[QuartzScale]

Ok so this takes place in the same continuities as the Seven Scrolls for Discord story. Neat. I was wondering when Discord would have appeared and Discord is powerful enough to do this. Still with two conflicting wants by both of them the whole part of not communicating will probably drive the two apart then do exactly what Discord said about finding out what it means to be in a relationship. Both Tiara and Dinky are going to go through the roughest of times because of both of their indiscretions. So... taking all bets. Tiara messes up or Dinky messes up?

[Orkus]

...Nice

[Magician-Horse]

Nothing like making deals with the devil. Also Chaos Control!

[Alkarasu]

...and thus, the population of Equestria was doubled.

[Nyperold]

You're herb shipping fic

Which contains, of course, much lovage.

[meanderingNekomata]

8415955
I love this

[AyanamiRei]

Wooooooow. I just LOVE how Diamond Tiara just totally put Discord in his place about Shipping & Harems! That was GLORIOUS! <3

[Lise]

8414769>>8414813>>8414890>>8415736>>8414861
Have some faith in them! Maybe everything will turn out okay? :P

8415955
8419890
Terrible! :D

8414917>>8421181
Well, RRBB was not one to mince words :D She's a future businessmare, after all. :)

8417486
O:)