• Member Since 10th Oct, 2015

Pinkie Pie is best pony


I THINK PINKIE IS BEST PONY... if that's ok with you

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God, I have so much shit to read 841 stories
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T

Pinkie Pie has a normal day, or at least as close to a normal day as you will ever read about in my trollfics. My randomness knows no bounds, and my logic is illogical. Forget the rules of the universe, let's just read this story and start questioning what the heck you're even reading! YEAH!

During reading, you may experience confusion, loss of sanity, slight to severe dizziness, a strange taste for lobsters, and an epic dosage of RANDOMNESS!

Other than that, enjoy! And feel free to give a suggestion who you think I should troll-write about next!

Chapters (1)
E

This story is a sequel to Friendship is Epic - Book 2: Dat Mareami Heat


What happened to FiE? Why did it get cancelled? I'll tell you why here!

The Friendship is Epic series has reached it's third season. Crimson Flare Gun has gained many friends over the years, and many enemies too. He spreaded some lulz, some pizzas, some cutaway gags, the power of polka, and now it is time to continue where we left off! This part of the series ties up with MLP Season 4. In this part of the series, Princess Luna gives Flare a new necklace, but not just any ordinary necklace, it's known as the Blessings of the Night. Throughout the chapters of Book 3, Flare must give his friends assistance, so they can charge up the Blessings, and Flare can become stronger willed with the power of friendship from all his friends inside that necklace. During so, he's going to have to overcome some obstacles in his path. His arch-nemesis, Dr. Swinebutt, still won't give up on his mission to gain his revenge on Flare; not to mention his business rival, Boorlie Pomodoro, whom tries to steal Flare's secret formula for his pizzas; and who could forget the newest foe of the bunch: Darth Flare, Flare's evil clone that Swinebutt created. Alone, Flare won't stand a chance, but the help of his friends in the Noble Six, the Mane Six, and some of his other friends in Ponyville, Canterlot, and Mareami, he might just be able to pull through and save the day.

WARNING: For those of you who don't like the story, I don't mind it, your opinion is your own, but if you start making comments that I find offensive, I will delete them. I'm sorry, but I'm getting pretty tired of seeing just details on the flaws of this story, instead of both negatives and positives to the story itself. Every story has positives and negatives, ALL OF THEM. I don't mind if you say you don't like it, but you don't need to write an essay about just ALL the flaws and NONE of the positives. I will not ask twice. Thank you, brahs.

FANFIC INSTRUCTIONS:

This story contains random moments and cutaway gags that have nothing to do with the story, but are just for humor. Try not to lose track. ;)

This fanfic contains singing. Most of the singing in here includes parodies, the song themselves, or polka.

Characters you should know about:

If you're new to the FiE series, and you don't know the characters, or you forgot about them, and are too lazy to go back and read, allow me to re-introduce them.

Crimson Flare Gun: Main character of the story, also the narrator. He moved to Ponyville to get away from the bullies and jerks in his hometown, and to make new friends. He opens a pizza shop known as Flare's Pizza Parlor. Flare is very humorous, random, loyal, but sensitive in certain ways and doesn't always think before he does. He likes to make others laugh, help them up, play video games, eat pizza, his fish, show off his magic, and he doesn't like to betrayed, lied to, being called by his first name, or anyone hurting his friends or family. He's also the founder of the Noble Six group.

Water Gun: Flare's older sister that works in a nearby bistro. Very nice, very helpful to Flare in his time of need, even though they argue alot but that's how siblings are. Water's main problems is finding the right stallion, she's despite, and Flare keeps hoping the day she moves out of his trailer.

Blaze Goldheart: A draconian (half-pony, half-dragon) with phoenix powers, and is also Flare's best friend. He's a member of the Wonderbolts, but ironically he's married to Rainbow Dash and has a daughter named Rose. Blaze is very loyal to all his friends. He's also a member of the Noble Six.

Crystal Iceblast: A very silly pony in the Noble Six that makes them laugh, no matter how circumstances are.

Red Engineer: A replica of the Engineer from TF2, sentry and dispenser included. He's very generous, like if there's one last cookie in the cookie jar that accidentally falls in the toilet, then he'll be there to give it up! He also talks alot, and has a creative imagination.

Psyche Illusion: An astronomer, and also the Meg Griffin in their group; like for example: every group needs a particular somepony to tease more than anypony else, and say shut up to alot. Well, that's him! At least he's very honest all the time, no doubt about it, we can always trust him.

Aquatic Armor: A pony from a far-away land, and always wears blue armor, because that's his family heirloom, and it's all of his family that he's got left; that and his sister. Aqua is very kind, and will almost never say no, and doesn't continue an argument.

Crèmepop: Flare's special somepony, also from Mareami, and had the same problems he had. She's got alot of social problems, but she's very kind, but gets stressed out easily.

Black Thunder: Formerly just Crystal's special somepony, now her husband, who's a fantastic skateboarder, but he's normally the one that takes the pain more than anypony else, if you know what I mean.

Wind Racer: Aqua's sister, that is very playful, and very strong hearted. She always shows her aggressive side, like she never admits if she's wrong or sad or defeated.

Candy Cotton: Rainbow Dash's little sister that moved in with her after their parents don't bother listening to her. She's like her older sister; athletic, show-off, loyal, but gets angry is she lacks attention.

Herb Leafhorn, Jr.: Formally Flare's primary bully. Like most bullies, he was unintelligent, but he didn't want to bully Flare, he just had to so his father, Herb Leafhorn Senior, can graduate him, since he's the principle. Herb started to rebel against his father, and join the Friendship Mafia, runned by the don Poni Cipriani. Once Flare came back to Mareami and made peace with Herb, he promised to help Flare any way he can, and use the mafia's help anytime.

Jerry Jam: An undercover agent that's part of an elite organization founded by Princess Celestia after the Disharmony Wars known as the FDA (Friendship Detection Agency). Jerry is both a field commander and he works undercover. If the FDA is around, Jerry is pretty much nearby to help out Flare and his friends in their time of need.

Adventure Blade "Keith": Or Addie for short, is Flare's Facebook poking buddy. Sometimes when they meet, they go KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH and Flaaaaaaaaaaaaare to eachother when they're happy to see eachother; also, there is one thing unexpecting about Addie and Flare's relationship that they never knew about, which is going to be in a later chapter.

Dr. Porker Swinebutt: The main antagonist of the series, and is a pig. No seriously, he ain't a pony, he's actually a pig. He's a scientist, very smart, smarter than most other scientists, probably Jimmy Neutron or Dexter smart. He used to be teased alot for his name until Flare came, and Swinebutt used a device to get all the attention to Flare, and make himself popular, but it all changed after Flare left. Flare and Swinebutt use to be best friends until Swinebutt betrayed him. After that, Flare got so angry, destoryed his lab, and stole his trailer (which is what Flare currently lives in). After that, Swinebutt swore revenge to Flare, and make sure he ruins his life, same way Flare ruined his. Swinebutt's main source of weaponery is his mechanical unicorn horn he invented.

Darth Flare: An evil clone of Flare created by Swinebutt. He has all of Flare's magical abilities and his intelligence. He betrays Swinebutt, because he knows Swinebutt betrayed Flare, and he doesn't trust him. But still, Darth's primary objective is to eliminate Flare, and take over as the real Flare.

Boorlie Pomodoro: Flare's business rival that runs a BBQ restaurant across the street from his shop. Since Flare's shop has so much more costumers than him, he tries to steal his secret recipe, and have one of the best shops in all of Equestria, instead of him.

Dr. Steelhoof: Another scientist pony that researches endangered creatures. He has a cybernetic eye, front hoof, and hind hoof. He also talks like Elmer Fudd, using the W in most of the words he says. He tries his very best to capture Blaze so Steelhoof can preform dangerous scientific research on him, since Blaze is a draconian, which is an endangered species in Equestria.

Officer Penny Nickels: Formally a police officer in Trottingham. He used to harass Psyche, and prove him guilty to the crimes he commited in Trottingham. Now he's the Ponyville's police chief, dictating order throughout the town, and proving Psyche is guilty.

Herb Leafhorn, Sr.: Herb Leafhorn, Jr.'s father, and former principles of Flare's old schools. He has a grudge against the Gun family, because of family history. He now runs the Leafhorn Family mafia in Mareami, and fights against Cipriani's mafia and try to gain order and justice to those who cross him.

Flare's Fish: Darrel, a black molly that's high-spirited, and loves to have fun. Rainbow, a rainbow fish that leads the other fish, and knows what's best for everyone. Dorthey, another rainbow that wants to take Rainbow's job; she also likes to tease. Yoyo, a yoyo loach that loves to eat. Piddles, an albino catfish that complains and sleeps alot. The fish can communicate with eachother and other animals, but Flare cannot understand them.

Apollo: Blaze's pet phoenix, and a good friend of Flare's fish. Blaze can communicate with Apollo.

That's pretty much all you need to know! You got any questions, let me know! Hope you enjoy the story! :D Bro-hoof! /)

Chapters (13)
E

This story is a sequel to Friendship is Epic - Book 2: Dat Mareami Heat


Crimson Flare Gun and his sister Water Gun has traveled to the alternate-universe to become humans. One of Flare's employees gave Flare an idea of the dream of becoming a human, because he thinks being a human is much better than being a pony. His friends disrespected his dream though, and it made Flare upset. Flare goes to the universe anyway after a spider-bot steals Flare's personal black box and takes it to the world. This black box means more to Flare than anything in the world. He must do whatever he can to get it back, with the help of the human versions of the Noble Six, Cremepop, and a little supportive help from the Mane Six, but you know they have their own adventure.

WARNING! This story contains spoilers from the Equestria Girls movie, so if you don't want any spoilers, and if you haven't seen that movie yet, please do so before reading this. DARTH VADER IS LUKE SKYWALKER'S FATHER! So you have been warned!

Also a notice: Some content in this story has changed, because of Fimfiction's policy. If you want to see the fanfic of how it was originally, then click on this link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9702648/1/Equestria-Brahs

Hope you enjoy this, my friends! Contact me if you have any questions at all! Also, be sure to check out the ponified version of Winnie the Pooh fanfic I made when you get the chance to relive your childhood memories! It's called Apple the Bloom. You can find it on page somewhere. Thanks again, brahs, and brohoof! /)

This story contains random moments and cutaway gags that have nothing to do with the story, but are just for humor. Try not to lose track. ;)

This fanfic contains singing. Most of the singing in here includes parodies, the song themselves, or polka.

IMAGE MADE BY CAVOX!

Characters:

Crimson Flare Gun: Main character of the story, also the narrator. He moved to Ponyville to get away from the bullies and jerks in his hometown, and to make new friends. He opens a pizza shop known as Flare's Pizza Parlor. Flare is very humorous, random, loyal, but sensitive in certain ways and doesn't always think before he does. He likes to make others laugh, help them up, play video games, eat pizza, his fish, show off his magic, and he doesn't like to betrayed, lied to, being called by his first name, or anyone hurting his friends or family. He's also the founder of the Noble Six group.

Water Gun: Flare's older sister that works in a nearby bistro. Very nice, very helpful to Flare in his time of need, even though they argue alot but that's how siblings are. Water's main problems is finding the right stallion, she's despite, and Flare keeps hoping the day she moves out of his trailer.

Blaze Goldheart: A draconian (half-pony, half-dragon) with phoenix powers, and is also Flare's best friend. He's a member of the Wonderbolts, but ironically he's married to Rainbow Dash and has a daughter named Rose. Blaze is very loyal to all his friends. He's also a member of the Noble Six.

Crystal Iceblast: A very silly pony in the Noble Six that makes them laugh, no matter how circumstances are.

Red Engineer: A replica of the Engineer from TF2, sentry and dispenser included. He's very generous, like if there's one last cookie in the cookie jar that accidentally falls in the toilet, then he'll be there to give it up! He also talks alot, and has a creative imagination.

Psyche Illution: An astronomer, and also the Meg Griffin in their group; like for example: every group needs a particular somepony to tease more than anypony else, and say shut up to alot. Well, that's him! At least he's very honest all the time, no doubt about it, we can always trust him.

Aquatic Armor: A pony from a far-away land, and always wears blue armor, because that's his family heirloom, and it's all of his family that he's got left; that and his sister. Aqua is very kind, and will almost never say no, and doesn't continue an argument.

Crèmepop: Flare's special somepony, also from Mareami, and had the same problems he had. She's got alot of social problems, but she's very kind, but gets stressed out easily.

Black Thunder: Crystal's special somepony, who's a fantastic skateboarder, but he's normally the one that takes the pain more than anypony else, if you know what I mean.

Wind Racer: Aqua's sister, that is very playful, and very strong hearted. She always shows her aggressive side, like she never admits if she's wrong or sad or defeated.

Candy Cotton: Rainbow Dash's little sister that moved in with her after their parents don't bother listening to her. She's like her older sister; athletic, show-off, loyal, but gets angry is she lacks attention.

b]Dr. Porker Swinebutt: The main antagonist of the series, and is a pig. No seriously, he ain't a pony, he's actually a pig. He's a scientist, very smart, smarter than most other scientists, probably Jimmy Neutron or Dexter smart. He used to be teased alot for his name until Flare came, and Swinebutt used a device to get all the attention to Flare, and make himself popular, but it all changed after Flare left. Flare and Swinebutt use to be best friends until Swinebutt betrayed him. After that, Flare got so angry, destoryed his lab, and stole his trailer (which is what Flare currently lives in). After that, Swinebutt swore revenge to Flare, and make sure he ruins his life, same way Flare ruined his. Swinebutt's main source of weaponery is his mechanical unicorn horn he invented.

Boorlie Pomodoro: Flare's business rival that runs a BBQ restaurant across the street from his shop. Since Flare's shop has so much more costumers than him, he tries to steal his secret recipe, and have one of the best shops in all of Equestria, instead of him.

b]Flare's Fish: Darrel, a black molly that's high-spirited, and loves to have fun. Rainbow, a rainbow fish that leads the other fish, and knows what's best for everyone. Dorthey, another rainbow that wants to take Rainbow's job; she also likes to tease. Yoyo, a yoyo loach that loves to eat. Piddles, an albino catfish that complains and sleeps alot. The fish can communicate with eachother and other animals, but Flare cannot understand them.

Apollo: Blaze's pet phoenix, and a good friend of Flare's fish. Blaze can communicate with Apollo.

Chapters (10)
E

This story is a sequel to Friendship is Epic - Book 1: My Big Flare (COMPLETE REMAKE)


The adventures of Flare Gun, Red Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, and Aquatic Armor continues. Last left off on Book 1 of Friendship is Epic. New adventures, new friends, new enemies, new locations, new epicness, new LULZ!

In this season of FiE, Flare's past follows him to Ponyville, the good and the bad, but it's not just Flare's past, some of the Noble Six as well. Flare's sister Water Gun moves in to Ponyville along with her special somepony, Rainbow Dash's long lost sister also moves to Ponyville, and even ponies from Flare's past such as a pig, a stalker, an old bully, the old bully's father, Flare's ex-marefriend come back, but it's up to you to find out which ones come back to haunt Flare or they come back to help Flare, same story goes with the other members of the Noble Six.

This season of FiE ties with FiM Season 3. It is recommended to read Book 1 first to get to know the characters and story, but this here is the real beginning!

Like in Book 1, this story also contains cutaway gags, but I decided to slow down on them because... I dunno, I was getting complaints about them so now there's not as much cutaway gags, it's mostly humor from the characters themselves. There is still singing. To divide between the singing and the talking, italics will be present, same goes to signs or letters.

Also, I barely read the comments anymore because most of it is what I find to be trollism, but I read PMs and I read reviews on other fanfic websites. So.... I don't care about the comments anymore. Type whatever you want. They won't be deleted, but that doesn't mean I'll read them. But regardless, I hope you at least try to enjoy the story. It's not just humor, it's story. Anyways, have fun! :D

Chapters (30)
T

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship.

And she's not happy about it.

Hear what Celestia has to say back! Check out the spinoff:
Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student by keaton-furman-prower

Still want more? Have a multiverse spinoff by MixMassBasher, my contributing writer for Seasons 5-9.
Letters From Across the Disgruntled Multiverse

Editing by Neko Majin C.

Disclaimer:
The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

Chapters (276)