//------------------------------// // Polka Your Eyes Out // Story: Equestria Brahs // by FlareGun45 //------------------------------// We all went back into the gym to continue on with the party. Twilight was dancing with Flash, the CMCs were having their dance together, and yeah, we were all having so much fun! I was chatting with my friends, and since it’s almost time for us to go, I wanted us to do one more thing together before Twilight, Water, Spike, and I leave. Water went over to Flash Sentry and whispered in his ear, and Crèmepop did the same to Vinyl Scratch. It was time to prepare for our big conclusion show. Vinyl Scratch stopped the music and said; “Attention, everyone? Attention? We’re all having a great night tonight, but before our star students from another world will leave back home, the Noble Six have one little performance to share with you, and they say this performance will…. polka your eyes out.” Vinyl turned over to Crème and asked, “Is that what you said?” “It’s what he said.” Crème said. “I don’t get it. How is it a ‘that’s what he said’ joke?” Vinyl asked. She then turns to her mic and said to everyone else, “So without further ado, we have Flash Sentry and his band getting Flare’s group warmed up, so they can share their little musical number. Hit it when ready, Flash!” Flash Sentry and his band started playing the first verse of Cradle of Love by Billy Idol, and everyone in the gym started cheering and screaming for him and his group, but before his group could continue, I danced onto the stage from behind the curtain and started playing my accordion, and Flash and his band got a little surprised and stopped playing. Engie marched on stage too playing a trumpet, and Crystal pushes the drummer out of the way and she took over, and Blaze came in playing the clarinet, and Aqua came with a banjo and Psyche started dancing on stage with a slide-whistle, a rubber duck, a horn, and a dentist drill. Time for us to show this school the power of polka! So we started singing random songs by different artists, but in a polka melody. As we started singing, the whole crowd got silenced and confused. “HEY!” I shouted as I started to sing and played my accordion and Psyche let’s out a little blow from his kazoo. “Rock the cradle of love! Rock the cradle of love! Yes, the cradle of love! Don’t rock easy, it’s true! Rock the cradle of love! I rocked the cradle of lo-oh-uh-oh-ove! Yes, the cradle of love! Don’t rock easy, it’s tru-ue!” As we played my favorite part of the WAY Moby Polka (dun-dun-dun, dun-dundun-dun. Dun-dun-dun, dun-dundun-dun.), Twilight and Flash noticed Pinkie dancing to the song, as well as the CMCs, and the dalek hall monitor was too there, spinning around. “What is this I’m doing? I must need maintenance!” the dalek yelled. So Twilight and Flash just shrugged and danced along as we continued. Wait how did Flash get down there? He was just up here with us. “Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo.” Engie sang as his head just floated there in a colorful background (with the help of digital effects), and then Engie’s head multiplies into three heads, and they start shaking as they sang with triple the voice, “Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo.” “The Love Shack, is a little old place where, we can get together!” Crystal sang as he grab a loopy Black Thunder from the audience and takes him on stage, and takes him to a stage prop that looks like a shack and it says ‘Love Shock’ on it (that’s no typo, we made it that way because Crystal just shocked Thunder by giving him so many kisses on his face). “Love shack, baby!” “Love Shack, baby, Love Shack!” the Noble Six sang. “HEY!” Crystal shouted as the shack falls apart, and it shows Crystal on top of Thunder with kiss marks all over his face. As we share an upbeat polka instrumental moment with cheering and slide-whistles playing in the background, Blaze hops onto a sling shot with a bird outfit on, and he crashes into a bunch of blocks with green pigs on them. Blaze then gets up and sings his part. “Pump up the jam!” Blaze sang. “HEY!” the Noble Six yelled. “Pump up the jam!” Blaze sang. “HEY!” the Noble Six yelled. “Pump up the jam, pump it up!” Blaze sang. Aqua then sang his part as he sat in the corner of the stage while holding his legs. “That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spot… light, losing my religion!” Aqua rips his necklace off his neck and throws it on the ground as we walks in the middle of the stage dramatically. “Trying to keep… a view; and I don’t know if I can do it! “OH NO!” the Noble Six shouted. “I saaaaid toooo much!” Aqua sang. “I haven’t set enough!” “The things, you say; your purple prose just gives away the things, you say!” Psyche sang. “You’re unbelievable!” “OOOOOH!” the Noble Six yelled. “Do me, baby!” I sang as Engie and I all were facing the audience using only one microphone. Much like the full opening of Two and a Half Men (when it was still good). Engie and Blaze sang ‘ahhh woo’ as I sang my parts. “Do me baby!” I sang. Just then, all three of us sang as we looked at eachother, and then faced the opposite way, and then he tilted our heads from side to side. “You can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night, you can do me when you wanna do me!” I then stood on top of a mountain in the distance in dusk and I shouted, “Yodel-lady-hooo!” “Exit light!” Blaze sang as the skybox changes from day to night as the moon and the sun glided by the sky. “Enter night!” We then all held our hands to the audience. “Take my hand!” Just then, Aqua, Psyche, and I started flying on top of the stage with their hands out like in Peter Pan, but while wearing fake wings. “Off to never-never land!” Psyche’s fake wings detach from him as he falls near Crystal who was wearing sunglasses and started tapping on the symbols of her drum in an all jazz-style beat. “Chaaaaaaa!” Psyche whispered. We all start snapping our fingers, and Engie starts playing the tuba. “The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump!” Crystal sang as the music stops right after. “Do me baby!” Two beats. “Do the Humpty Hump!” Two beats. “Do the Humpty Hump!” Jazz-music starts playing again as Crystal starts pelvic thrusting. “Do me, baby! Do the Humpty Hump! Come on! Do the Humpty Hump!” The music starts to gain that polka upbeat again. “She’s my cherry pie!” Engie sang. “Put a smile on your face…. ten miles wide!” Engie’s mouth suddenly expands beyond human. “Look so good make a grown man cry!” Engie then looks over at a cherry pie at a table beside him and he sings, “Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi! WOO!” “DRUM SOLO!” I yelled on the mic as Crystal started playing on the drums real hard, and the audience started cheering really loud. Engie threw the cherry pie at the audience and it slammed into Soarin’s face. “Hey! It’s apple pie I like, not cherry pie! Get it right!” Soarin yelled. Crystal continued to beat on her drums real punk-like, and once she finished we continued the song. Aqua sang next as Psyche and I were in the background dancing with top hats and canes. “I miss ya so much!” Aqua sang. “M-O-I miss you so much!” Psyche and I sang. “I really miss ya much!” Aqua sang. “M-I-S-S you so much!” Psyche and I sang. “I miss ya so much!” Aqua sang. “M-O-I miss you so much!” Psyche and I sang. “I really miss ya much!” Aqua yelled as he faces the camera real close. “HEY!” he shouts as the camera minimizes to show Psyche and I on both sides of him, dancing, and singing along with him. “I don’t want, anybody else!” all three of us sang. “When I think about ya-“ Aqua sang by himself. “I HUG MYSELF!” all three of us sang as Psyche and I both hugged ourselves. “Ooooh!” Aqua sang. “I don’t want, anybody else!” Psyche and I sang as we started kick-dancing and held our hats and twirled our canes. “Oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no!” Aqua sang as it looked like he was pleading. “He’s the one they call…” Psyche started. “Dr. Feelgood!” the Noble Six sang. “He’s the one that makes you feel-“ Psyche sang as he winked at the audience. “Alright!” the Noble Six sang as the ladies scream for Psyche. “He’s the one they call…” Psyche sang as he was wearing a doctor’s outfit and using his stethoscope on a Frankenstein’s heart. “Dr. Feelgood!” the Noble Six sang. “He’s gonna be your Frankenstein!” Crystal sang as he got up from the doctor bed while wearing a Frankenstein outfit and she started walking like Frankenstein. “Let’s kick it!” I yelled. Engie starts playing the tuba again as we all start snapping our fingers. “If you got a problem-“ I started. “YO!” the Noble Six yelled. “I’ll solve it; check out the beat while the DJ resolves it!” I yelled. All six of us start dancing by a background that changes colors as he wore top-hats and canes, and we all started singing, “Ice ice baby!” we dance by once. “Ice ice baby!” we dance by again. “WORD TO YOUR MOTHER!” I yelled as I popped up in front of the camera. “Ice ice baby!” all of the Noble Six sang as they too pop out in front of the camera from below while holding up drinks with ice in them. Just then, three giant ice cube fall in the colorful background, and each ice cube fell as we said the word ‘ice’ in the next part. We then all climbed on top of the ice cubes, but then Aqua slips and falls. “Ice ice baby forever!” we all sang. Our conclusion of the song, with all six of us on stage, just waving our hands up. “I’ll be your iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice, iiiiiiiiiice, babyeeeeeeeeeeee!” we all sang as we all start dancing, kicking our legs, and holding our hats and spinning our canes. I kept shouting eeeeeeeeeee that comes after ‘baby’ as the rest of the Noble Six sang in the background, “Ice ice baby! Ice ice baby! Ice ice baby!” Dunna-dun dunna-dun, dunna-dundun-dundun. “HEY!” we all shouted as the polka ends. I think you’d enjoy that polka a bit more if you actually heard the song and then included my narration of detail of what we did during it. That’s why I love listening to them. It was called Polka Your Eyes Out. The whole audience cheers as we conclude our polka song. We all wave at the audience, and they start throwing flowers at us. Crystal flinches as the roses get thrown at her, and she yells; “Hey! Don’t throw stuff at me! That not nice!” “THAT’S RIGHT CANTERLOT HIGH! THE POWER OF POLKA COMPELS YOU!” I yelled. “THE POWER OF POLKA COMPELS YOU!” “Alright, let’s go!” Water said with an attitude as she walked on stage, grabbed my tux jacket and drags me outside. “HEY! The same rule applies to this world! Don’t grab my clothes!” I demanded. And so, we were all were standing outside, and we were about to say our goodbyes. It was a sad moment though. “Don’t leave, Flare! We’re your friends! You can’t abandon us!” Crystal begge, as she was holding my legs. “Hey, he’ll be back, won’t you Flare?” Blaze asked. “Of course I will…. in another 30 months.” I said. “Well, when that time comes, we’ll be here waitin for ya.” Aqua said. “I just don’t believe it all went by so fast! I rather enjoyed being a human!” I said. “But you know, I can’t your alternate yours in Equestria, now can I?” “Yeah well, easy come easy go, right?” Engie asked. “Hey, without you, I got nobody to call me buzzkill!” Psyche said. “Hey, don’t worry about it, brah! You already know you’re a buzzkill, you don’t need me to remind you!” I said, smiling at him, and he smiled back. “Just take care of yourself, man.” Blaze said. “I hope pony Blaze Goldheart will make sure you stay safe.” “I’m pretty sure he will! With his phoenix powers, and his dragon senses, I should be alright!” I said. “Aww man, I wish I was that Blaze! Being a draconian with phoenix powers sounds so cool!” Blaze complained. ”Hey, I love you just the way you are, Goldheart!” Rainbow Dash said as she gave him a hug. “Also, pull up your zipper, it’s embarrassing.” ”WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY ZIPPER?! SHEESH!” Blaze complained as he pulls up his zipper again. “You won’t forget about us will you, Flare?” Flutters asked. “PLEASE FLARE! DO NOT FORGET ABOUT US!” Pinkie yelled. “Hush now, you two! We’re already in his world.” AppleJack said. “You sure are!” I nodded. “But still, you’re all different to me! I got to be friends with all of you all over again, and I shall never forget it! Except you Twilight, and you Spike, and you Water.” “Oh real nice, Flare!” Water chuckled. “Good luck, Water! Take care of yourself!” Wind Racer said. “Flare, wait!” Crème yelled as she ran towards me. “I know you have a someone special back at home, but just remember one thing.” “And what is that, Crèmey?” I asked. Crème grabbed my jacket and started threatening me. “You BETTER take good care of her, you understand? You break pony me’s heart, I’ll END YOU! You hear me?!” “Hands off the jacket, sista! But alright, I understand loud and clear.” I said. Crème pulls me close to her and starts to smooch me. Once she was done she let go, and backed away slowly with tears in her eyes. “But before I go there’s still one more question I have to ask.” I said, but before I could say it, we all hear a loud roar in the background, as a giant brown dragon started flying down and lands near us. “Hey Winona!” AppleJack said as the dragon who appears to be Winona licks her face. “Ah’ll be home in a little bit, sugarcube! Wait for me!” “Well, Flare! I guess you jinxed that.” Spike said. “So long, brahs!” I yelled, waving at everyone. “Feel dat Mareami heat, and praise the Wizards!” Water and I stepped through the portal and our friends waved goodbye as we stepped through. ”Duuuh, where’s that cherry pie?” Thunder asked, still loopy. Just then Crystal took Sunset Shimmer’s mallet and smashed Thunder in the head with it. “WHOA! What? What just happened? Crystal, what’s going on?” Thunder asked her, returning to normal, but not remembering what happened. “It’s a long story, Thundy!” Crystal giggled. “It’s a long story!” So my friends left the scene as Twilight started saying goodbye to her friends. Water and I then returned to Equestria where all our pony friends were waiting for us. I zoomed out of the portal, and landing on Psyche as we got out. “Wow! This hyperspace ride was different! It had the Doctor Who theme song instead of Big Bang Theory.” I said. “Flare! You’re alright!” Blaze yelled feeling relieved as he gave me a hug. “FLAREY!” Crème cried in excitement as she too ran over and hugged me. ”So you were there the whole time, huh partner?” Engie asked. “Does anypony even care about Water? How about welcoming her back?” Crystal asked. “It’s a thrill to have ya back, Flare.” Aqua said. “Yeah, I’m crying over here.” Psyche said sarcastically. “Flare, will you please get off of me?” I stood up and I helped Psyche up. “What took you so long, Flare? Why did you leave us?” Crystal asked. “Sorry, I really had to get my box here back.” I said as I showed them my box. “What’s so special about it?” Blaze asked. “I’ll tell you guys another time.” I said as I looked over at Crèmepop and I gave her a wink. Crème giggled and blushed. “So where’s Twilight?” AppleJack asked. “She’s still inside saying her goodbyes. She’ll be back in a little while.” Water said. “Her goodbyes?” Rarity asked. “It appears she made friends in that world.” Flutters said. “I WANNA GO!” Pinkie whined. “It’s good to have you back Flare and Water.” Celestia said. “It’s good to be back, princess! I had enough of seeing Blaze with his zipper down.” I said. “Bro, I wasn’t even there, and I’m not even wearing a zipper.” Blaze corrected me. “Hey, Flare? Come with us, we have to show you something really cool!” Crystal offered. We all went over to one of the Crystal palace rooms where Crèmepop was standing near a human sculpture that looks a lot like me. “What is it?” I asked. “It’s you as a human! I know you’ve been dreaming to be a human, man! So even though you can’t be one, we made you a little statue of it!” Blaze said. “Aww, that’s really nice brahs! Thanks a bunch!” I said. ”Flare you got me worried sick!” Crème said giving me a big hug. “I missed you so much!” “I missed you too.” I said in relief and tons of excitement. “Flare, you’re acting like you haven’t seen me in a week!” Crème said. “I haven’t.” I said. “Why did you leave?” Crème asked. “Oh you know; I was just living the dream is all!” I said. “What do ya mean by that?” Aqua asked. “It’s a long story! I’ll explain later.” I said. The next day came and we all left the Crystal palace so we can all head back home to Ponyville. “Well, it seems like a pretty straightforward plan for Boorlie to steal yer box and use it to steal yer secret recipe.” Engie said. “So you got to be a human, huh? Human me sounds pretty interesting, but it’s too bad I wasn’t able to fly.” Psyche said. ”Well Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight grew some wings during their little moment, but somehow Twilight and Rarity didn’t have their horns.” I said. “I believe that was all a hoax for toy stock.” “I would’ve wanted to be on an adventure like that! I should’ve gone with you!” Crystal complained. "Well, one thing's for sure, I'm going to miss eating meat. You should taste, and you'll feel excited on how delicious chicken tastes!" I said. A cutaway shows me in human form eating some fried chicken from a KFC containor. "Ah! KFC, original recipe!" I said. "Original recipe, huh? Sounds pretty good!" human AppleJack said. "Yep! Delicious!" I said as I finished up all the chicken. "Uhh, Flare? I think you ate the bones." Flutters pointed out. "I did what?" I asked. "You ate the bones!" Flutters repeated. I started to freak out. "I ate the bones? I ate the bones?! I ATE THE BONES?!" I yelled. "We better call 9-1-1!" Flutters said in worry as she ran to the phone and called the emergency service. "Hello? We need a paramedic! My friend just ate the bones!" "Oh false alarm! This is KFC boneless chicken." I said. "Oh.... false alarm." Flutters said. The cutaway ends. “Well, regardless, we were wrong Flare. It was foolish of us to disagree with ya dream.” Aqua said. “No problemo, brah!” I said. “At least I know I’m right, and you’re wrong, it makes a huge difference.” “So what are we going to do when we get back to Ponyville?” Water asked. “I dunno.” I said. Just then, a strange beam of light appears up ahead, and what looks to be like a school bus drove really fast towards us, and it parked right in front of us, and tooted its horn. “A school bus?” Blaze asked. The school bus opened, and Ms. Frizzle in pony form came out. “What a perfect time to take a field trip to an alternate world!” Ms. Frizzle said. “Ms. Frizzle? What are you doing here?” I asked. “You know this strange-looking mare?” Crystal asked. “Yes she’s Twilight’s home room teacher at Canterlot High! What are you doing here?” I asked. “You have to come back with me!” Frizzle said grabbing my shoulders. “Back where?” I asked. “Back to the School!” Frizzle said as she reached through the crystal trash cans, took garbage out, and placed them inside one of the fuel containers of her bus. “What are you doing, Frizzle?” Water asked. “I need fuel.” Frizzle said, placing the garbage inside. “Go on, get in the bus!” “But Frizzle, we just got back!” I complained. “Crèmepop, my sister, and my friends, and I are all thinking of going to the Crystal Empire T.G.I. Fridays!” “By all means, take them along! This concerns them too!” Frizzle said. “Wait, Frizzle, what are you talking about? What happened in that universe?” Water asked. “Are my human friends okay?!” I panicked. “Oh no no no! Your friends turn out fine! It’s that universe’s version of yourself and your sister! Something needs to be done by yourselves!” Frizzle said. “I KNEW IT! I knew something wasn’t right! I knew I was forgetting something!” I shouted. “Human me and human Water need our help!” So we all agreed to go with her on the trip. We all went into the bus, and Ms. Frizzle started it up as her pet lizard Liz was hanging on her back. We were pretty concerned because Ms. Frizzle got the bus turned to the wrong direction, as she was about to step on the gas pedal. “Hey, Ms. Frizzle, you better turn around, there doesn’t seem to be enough road in this direction.” Blaze pointed out. “Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads!” Ms. Frizzle said as she puts on her shades, and the bus starts flying up to the sky and starts flying towards the camera and the end credits roll. Well, my sister and I had a very good time in the human world, and you know what else? Equestria is once again safe from harm, and you know my side of the story of this adventure. Now the only question is….. what song should I sing for the end credits? Oh what do I need end credits for? I made this whole story! The only thing I didn’t make was the cover picture for the story. Oh... wait.... I forgot to do something in the human world! I was supposed to get my smiley boxers! Anyways, thank you for reading Equestria Brahs! I hope you enjoyed it! This story was written by MegaSean45. With special thanks of Hasbro Inc., Lauren Faust, and to all who read this! Thank you again, and stay tuned for more stories! Also, be on the look out for one bonus DLC chapter in this story that’ll lead to Equestria Brahs 2! Anyways, for the end credits song….. Venus anypony?