*Road to Germany theme plays*
SHROOM FILMS PRESENTS….
FLARE THROUGH TIME IV
STARING MEGASEAN45 AS FLARE GUN, MACHINE GUN, AND WEED LEAFHORN
CATHY WESELUCK AS SPIKE
BRONY WITH THE BOWTIE AS DOCTOR WHOOVES, BLAZE GOLDHEART (the one in the past), AND THE REFUGEE IN THE CLOAK
MICHELLE CREBER AS APPLE BLOOM
CLAIRE CORLETTE AS SWEETIE BELLE
MADELEINE PETERS AS SCOOTALOO
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC SERIES
CREATED BY MEGASEAN45
That Friday afternoon, Cheerilee was just about to finish her class session for the weekend. “And so class, you must remember one thing if you ever come face to face with a human-being – avoid them at all cost!”
“Oh but my sister’s marefriend loves humans! How can they be bad?” Twist asked.
“Because of THIS!” Cheerilee said as she opens up Powerpoint and shows the class the disasters a human can do. “Humans LOVE ponies, too much might I add! Bellies rubbed beyond repair, ears scratched to the limit, and manes brushed to oblivion!”
“B-but, I don’t want my mane brushed to oblivion!” Aura whined. “I don’t even like purple skies!”
“Well you’re going to have a rough time when I plan to take over.” Discord said while sitting on the desk next to her.
“Discord, how many times do I have to ask you not to interrupt my classes?” Cheerilee complained.
“Probably at least seven more times.” Discord said.
“Get out!” Cheerilee demanded.
“Pfft! Fine!” Discord said with an attitude. “I’m taking all my candy with me then!” he then disappears, and then reappears on the same desk, and he looks over at Rumble and said, “I’m just kidding, I wouldn’t actually do that! Here, have some chocolate!”
“I have theobromine poisoning whenever I eat chocolate, I can’t eat it.” Rumble said.
“Square!” Discord said as he opens the chocolate bar, throws aside the chocolate and eats the wrapper.
“I’ll eat the chocolate!” Truffle Shuffle said.
“Wow, what a square!” Discord said with an attitude as he then disappears.
“Anyways… as I was saying, class,” Cheerilee continued, “your history test on World Party II is going to be tomorrow, so I hope you studied hard for it. This test is going to be worth 150% of your grade,” she started to speak more mischievously and the room started to get darker, except for her face, “and I don’t just mean that theoretically, I mean it’s really worth 150% of your grade. If you fail this test, you may have to stay back TWICE.” Just then the bell rang and then Cheerilee shuts off the flashlight below her face and then she smiles. “Have a wonderful day, class!”
So after class ends, everypony starts running out, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders, they just walk out. “I don’t know about this, you two. I don’t have a very good feeling about this test.” Scootaloo said.
“Me neither!” Sweetie Belle said. “I’ve been studying the book all week, but I’m not able to understand any of it! And Rarity refuses to tutor me because she has a ‘job for her most important customer’, Sapphire Shores!”
“Ah wouldn’t blame her! She’s pretty amazin’!” Apple Bloom said.
“No doubt about it! Pony of pop!” Scootaloo said.
“Anyways, ah’m unable to study that well either.” Apple Bloom said. “Ah’ve been focusin’ lately on your play, Sweetie Belle. All the excitement went through mah head and studyin’ has become a lot harder.”
“How about you, Scootaloo? Any luck?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Who me? Pfft! I don’t read!” Scootaloo said. “Rainbow Dash herself said that reading is for eggheads, like Twilight. Unless it’s an adventurous story like Daring Do. That’s the only exception.”
“Ugh!” Apple Bloom groaned. “Ah dunno what to do! The exam is tomorrow, and we don’t know anything!”
“Well, we’re not getting our historical cutie marks, that’s for sure.” Scootaloo said.
“Ehhh, probably for the best.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well, maybe we could see Twilight and she could tutor us.” Apple Bloom suggested.
“We can’t. Spike said she was in Canterlot for the weekend.” Scootaloo said. “Princess summit, I think he said.”
“Now what is a princess summit anyway?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Ah dunno, probably… umm… the princesses workin’ together to climb a mountain until they reach the summit?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I’ll say yes to that until I can think of a better reason.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well, the only ponies left that might help me is Granny Smith, Big Mac, or AppleJack.” Apple Bloom said. “Ah’d go with either Granny Smith or Big Mac, since they’re both smarter than AppleJack pretty much.”
Later that night in Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom started to complain, “Why did Granny Smith have to go to bingo night? Come to think of it, why did Big Mac have to go to bingo night?”
“Well look on the bright side, little sis,” AppleJack started, “you get to study with your BIG sis!”
“Oh yeah, we’re gonna have a blast.” Apple Bloom said sarcastically.
“World Party II! Gosh ah loved that topic!” AppleJack said. “It really had a lot of potential in it! Had a lot of twists, the enemies had their karma go against them, and it had a happy endin’! Well… sort of. Equestria was one of the nations that had a happy endin’, umm… well… anyways, let’s get down to studyin’! Now, Apple Bloom, tell me, ‘The Battle of P-Day took place in what year?’”
“Well, umm… uhh… ah don’t know!” Apple Bloom whined.
“But you just read that chapter last night.” AppleJack reminded her.
“Yeah, but P-Day was a long time ago.” Apple Bloom said.
AppleJack then made a glare. “Oook then, how about this? ‘The Treaty of Alliance was signed by what nations?’”
“Uhh… umm… always with the hard questions!” Apple Bloom whined. “Face it, AppleJack! Ah’m not good at history!”
“Oh yeah?” AppleJack asked as she smiled. “Tell me, Apple Bloom. What did you have for lunch last Wednesday?”
“A daisy sandwich, an apple, and an ice cream sandwich.” Apple Bloom said.
“See? That’s history!” AppleJack said.
“And some Cheetoes and a bag of M&Ms.” Apple Bloom added.
“Ok.” AppleJack nodded.
“Wait, it wasn’t Cheetoes, it was Cheese Its.” Apple Bloom corrected herself.
“Alright. So you get it!” AppleJack said.
“You know what I like?” I asked as I sat next to Apple Bloom on the couch. “I like one of those ice creams with the mini-caramels on it.”
“Oh yeah, those are good!” Apple Bloom agreed.
“Flare?!” AppleJack yelled surprisingly. “How did you get here?”
“Well, I went out of my house to get here, and then I walked over here, and then I opened the door to get here, and then I walked in the front door to get here, and then I get here, and then I got here, and here I am!” I explained. AppleJack then starts to glare at me. “Hey, AppleJack? You got any ice cream with the mini-caramels in it?”
“No we don’t.” AppleJack said.
“Can you get some?” I asked.
“No, ah’m tryin’ to help, Apple Bloom study, so do you mind?” AppleJack asked.
“Not one bit!” I said as I relaxed on her couch.
“Fine.” She said as she continued to test Apple Bloom. “So ‘What was the cake damage total in the city of Stalliongrad’?”
“ACK!” I made a buzzing sound. “$50 million.”
“Uh, that’s correct.” AppleJack said.
“Ah knew that!” Apple Bloom whined.
“Yeah but Flare buzzed first.” I said.
“Bzzzz.” I buzzed. “You know I wonder how ponies first discovered honey? Oh look, let’s randomly go inside a beehive and see what the fuss is about! Look at this sticky goo in the hives, let’s lick it! Oh it’s delicious! Let’s put it on bread or our tea!” Apple Bloom giggled, but AppleJack was annoyed.
“Ok, gimmie another question.” Apple Bloom requested.
“Ok.” AppleJack said. “’The Equality Friendship Movement is another name for…’”
“ACK!” Apple Bloom and I both buzzed.
“Apple Bloom!” AppleJack said.
“Communism!” Apple Bloom said.
“That’s right!” AppleJack said.
“Oh… I was gonna say six!” I chuckled. “What would equal six?”
“Ok, one to one. Next question!” AppleJack said.
“Friendship is a beautiful thing, AppleJack!” I said. “You know what would a good friend do?”
“What?” AppleJack asked.
“Go pick up the caramel ice cream for their friend.” I said.
“And a good friend would quit askin’ that and just go get it himself.” AppleJack said with an attitude.
“Or herself.” I added.
“Next question.” AppleJack said with an attitude. “The invasion of 1889-“
“ACK!” I interrupted. “1889!”
“No.” AppleJack said.
“ACK!” Apple Bloom buzzed. “1890!”
“Let me finish the question!” AppleJack demanded. “The invasion of 1889 was led by what race?”
“ACK!” Apple Bloom buzzed. “The Sphinx!”
“Very good! 2 to 1, Apple Bloom!” AppleJack said excitedly.
“Yes!” Apple Bloom whispered excitedly.
“No fair! My buzzard’s broken!” I whined. “Let me see yours.” I then held Apple Bloom’s hoof and made a buzzing sound. “See? Hers works.”
So after an hour or so of studying, it was time for the final round. “Ok contestants,” AppleJack started, “with a score tied, we move to our final question, and it’s goin’ to be pretty hard.”
“ACK!” I buzzed. “TRUE!”
“Wait for a question!” Apple Bloom reminded me.
“Okaaaaay!” I said with an attitude.
“Name three changes in World Party II that made the life of Equestria so much better.” AppleJack said.
“ACK!” Apple Bloom buzzed. “More alliances, new party favors, and… aaaand… umm…”
“ACK!” I buzzed.
“Flare!” AppleJack said.
“Sorry, I hit it by mistake.” I admitted.
“ACK!” Apple Bloom cried in excitement. “The most trusted nation in all of the world!”
“That’s correct! Apple Bloom is our new champion!” AppleJack said excitedly.
“WOO HOO!” Apple Bloom cheered.
“ACK!” I buzzed. “The most trusted in all of the world!”
“See, Apple Bloom? You know this stuff!” AppleJack said.
“Yeah… yeah ah guess ah do!” Apple Bloom said excitedly.
“You are gonna do great on that test!” AppleJack said.
“WE’RE GOING TO DO AWFUL ON THAT TEST!” Sweetie Belle cried out as she and Scootaloo barged in.
“What’s with everypony bargin’ in?” AppleJack asked.
“We can’t do it! We just can’t!” Scootaloo whined. “We tried everything, but it’s not working! I bet you’re not having as good of luck as us!”
“Well… umm…” Apple Bloom stuttered. “No… no ah’m not.”
“Huh?” AppleJack asked.
“UGH!” Scootaloo groaned. “Well at least you’re no farther than us.”
“Yeah, think if WE were on the bottom and Apple Bloom would be on top of the world.” Sweetie Belle complained.
“Oh I see what’s going I on.” I nodded.
“Well, if y’all want, ah can help y’all study.” AppleJack offered.
“OR… OR… I got something better!” I yelled.
“Oh yeah? What is it?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Who needs dusty old books for anyway?” I asked as I grabbed the book AppleJack was holding and threw it aside. “When we can actually experience it?”
“You mean the World Party II museum? Good idea, sugarcube!” AppleJack said.
“Uhh… yeah, of course.” I played along. “How about you head over there, get us some tickets, and we’ll catch up with you?”
“Sounds like a plan!” AppleJack agreed. “This will really help you girls on your test! Ah’m sure of it!”
“I hope so.” Scootaloo said.
“Alright, see y’all at the museum!” AppleJack said as she walks out of the house and was on her way to the museum.
“Don’t forget the ice cream with the little caramels!” I called out.
“A museum? Really, Flare? That’s the best you got?” Scootaloo complained.
“No that’s just an excuse to get AppleJack out of the way and not worried about us.” I said.
“Worried about what?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I think it’s time to go pick up Spike and go see the Doctor.” I said. “I have a great idea that’s going to help you fillies on your test!”
So after we picked up Spike, we headed over to the Doctor’s TARDIS, but before I knocked on the door I wanted to say something the crusaders, “Ok, crusaders, listen up for a sec. The TARDIS is going to be bigger on the inside.”
“Oh it’s like the opposite of Discord’s time machine!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Right, so when we get inside- wait, Discord has a time machine?” I asked.
“Yeah, it would appear the crusaders travelled through time and space before.” Spike said.
“Oh.” I said. “Alright, well when we get inside it’s going to be bigger on the inside, so here’s what I want you to do – don’t get surprised. Pretend you already knew.”
“Wow that was good poetry there.” Spike pointed out.
“Why don’t you want us to get surprised?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Because… the Doctor doesn’t like it.” I lied. “Yeah he’d rather you already know so it’ll be more of a chance for him to accept us.”
“Ah good call!” Scootaloo agreed. So then Spike knocks on the door.
“You just do that to irriate me, huh?” I asked.
“Your knocks aren’t very original.” Spike said.
“NEITHER WAS YOURS! You just did three taps without saying the Doctor’s name! Then repeating two more times.” I complained.
“Snooze you lose.” Spike said.
“Snooze you lose?” I asked. “Snooze you lose?! It’s like saying sleeping is bad, and you’re one to talk! You fall asleep easier than any of us.”
Just then, the Doctor opens the door. “Ah, Flare, Spike! Good to have you back! I guess you’re here to time travel to World Party II?”
“How did you know?” I asked.
“A true Time Lord never reveals all of his secrets.” The Doctor said. “Ah, you must be the Cutie Mark Crusaders! I’m the Doctor!”
“Yeah, ah know. We met before.” Apple Bloom said. “Very awkwardly.”
“Hmph, right.” The Doctor clears his throat. “Anyways, come on in!” So we did. We all followed him in and the Doctor started dancing around his center console. “Very impressive, wouldn’t you say?”
“Meh.” Apple Bloom shrugged.
“I’ve seen better.” Scootaloo said.
“We already knew it was bigger on the inside.” Sweetie Belle said.
“What?!” the Doctor cried. “You’re not surprised?! I love it when ponies are surprised of my TARDIS! You already seen it?!”
“Uh, Flare, I thought you said he liked it better when we were weren’t surprised?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Nope, I lied!” I laughed. “I just wanted to spoil the Doctor’s moment!”
“Ugh!” the Doctor groaned.
“Worth it!” I said as I high-hooved Spike.
“This place is really cool, Doctor!” Scootaloo said as she looked around. “Hey, what’s this button do?”
“NO!” the Doctor yelled, but it was too late, Scootaloo pressed it, and then a door opens revealing a room with a bunch of bowties.
“What’s that?” Apple Bloom asked.
“It’s my bowtie closet.” The Doctor said as he presses the button again to close the closet. “Don’t touch anything!”
“We’re touching the floor though, aren’t we?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Except for the floor. You can touch that.” the Doctor said. “Though it may depend on where you step-“ just then, some sombreros fall from the ceiling and landed on each of our heads. Sweetie Belle looks down and sees her hoof stepping on a floor switch below her. “Yeah, there are some buttons on the floor. Like that was my sombrero button.”
“You like sombreros?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Of course! I love wearing sombreros!” the Doctor said. “Los sombreros son frescas!”
“What other clothes do you have?” Scootaloo asked as she stepped on another button.
“DUCK!” the Doctor yelled as we all crouched down, and then tranquilizer darts shot out of the walls and shot on the Doctor’s sombrero. “Note to self: take out the floor buttons.”
“Sooo… what are we doing here again?” Spike asked.
“We’re going to travel back in time to World Party II!” I said.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Flare?” the Doctor asked.
“DUUUUUDE! We went back in time together like… twice already! Spike and I know what to do!” I said.
“That’s not what I meant.” The Doctor said. “I mean are you sure it’s a good idea to bring three school-aged fillies with us?” he pointed to the crusaders who were doing childish things right now. Like Scootaloo was making a tongue face, and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle laughed.
“I know what you mean, Doctor.” I nodded. “Only children would laugh at a tongue face. We’re adults, so we laugh at adult things!”
“Like what?” Spike asked.
“We look at random objects and then we start laughing because it reminds us of something else.” I said.
“Yeeeeah, still not getting it.” Spike said.
“Come on, Spike! How old are you?” I asked.
“Still a child.” Spike said.
“Really? STILL a child? You act more mature than one.” I said.
“Well, if we’re bringing the fillies along in our time travel trip then we need to lay down some rules.” The Doctor said.
“Awwww!” the crusaders whined.
“Aw indeed! We’re rebels!” Spike shouted.
“I like your style, but we have children on board.” The Doctor said.
“Spike’s been on board since I’ve been on board!” I reminded him.
“Children ponies I mean.” The Doctor said.
“Oh so I don’t count? I don’t belong in the same category?” Spike complained.
“Ok, if we’re going to have these three fillies on board, they have to stay with us!” the Doctor said. “As a matter of fact, we’re all staying together! Fillies, you will do exactly what I say when I say it. Don’t listen to Flare or Spike, they’re not qualified to lead.”
“HEY!” Spike and I both whined.
“If we’re going into a warzone, we need to play it safe.” The Doctor said. “Don’t touch anything in the past, and don’t get caught in crossfire. We’re going to stay as far back from the battles as we could. You three got that?”
“YAY!” the crusaders cried out. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TIME TRAVELERS!” Their screaming made the Doctor hold his ears.
“Wow! Are they always this loud?” the Doctor asked me.
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! THEY SEEM FINE TO ME!” I shouted at the Doctor’s face, which made him cringe.
“Fine, fine.” The Doctor said. “Just hang on, and we’re going to get going.”
“But way, Doctor, do you even know why we’re bringing the crusaders with us?” I asked.
“Because some old friends from our past, including your ancestor saw us with them back then?” the Doctor asked.
“Really? Machine Gun said that, huh?” I asked. “Well anyways, I’m only here with them because they have an exam tomorrow, and I thought us going back to the source would assist them?”
“I guess that would explain why they were with us.” The Doctor said. “Ok, I know we’re heroes in their books, but Flare, Spike, you two need to help me control these fillies, ok? They cannot go wandering off.”
“They just did.” Spike said as he pointed to the crusaders running through one of the TARDIS doors and started wandering around the corridors of the TARDIS.
“Oh for the love of…” the Doctor facehooves himself. “Whatever, let’s just go.”
“Shouldn’t we look for them?” Spike asked.
“Relax, the TARDIS is the safest place in the universe.” The Doctor said.
“HA! I have so much evidence against that!” I laughed. “I have so much evidence, that you have no idea! I have so much evidence that’ll give you life- no, three of your lives in prison! It’s going to cost… you a third of a cat’s life capacity!”
“Don’t worry, Flare. I turned on the TARDIS’s safe mode.” The Doctor said as he pushes a few buttons. “Through every corridor the crusaders go through, they’re going to end up back here.”
“Cool… so how long is it going to take?” I asked.
“To be honest, they should’ve been back here by now.” The Doctor said.
“Whatever, whatever, let’s go back! I wanna see huge party action!” Spike cried out in excitement. “Wow… you have no idea how much I sound like Pinkie Pie.”
“I should know, I’ve dated her.” I said. “I’ve dated her for so long I’ve got a little bit of Pinkie Pie in me.” Just then my head slowly turned around my neck, all the way, which made Spike freeze in fright.
“Anyways, let’s going get now.” The Doctor said as he started pushing buttons and levers. “And yes, I know how I said that.” So the Doctor teleports the TARDIS out of Ponyville and faster than the speed of light, we went back many years into the past. “Here we are! 1,015 years into Equestria’s past!”
“I said it once, I’ll say it again: give our take a day.” I said. Just then, the CMCs ran through the opposite doorway, still cheering as they entered. Once they realized they were back in here, they all bump into eachother.
“Hey, did we just go through one big circle?” Scootaloo asked.
“I swear we went the other way!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Let’s retrace our steps a bit.” Apple Bloom suggested as they ran through the doorway in front of them, and suddenly going through the opposite doorway again.
“No I swear it, we went straight. We didn’t go full-circle.” Sweetie Belle said.
“I turned on the TARDIS’s safe mode.” The Doctor said. “Now if you want to keep running through the TARDIS corridors and end up back here again, that’s your choice. We don’t have to be here.”
“Oh we travelled back already? That was FAST!” Apple Bloom said impressively.
“It was Rainbow Dash fast!” Scootaloo said as she jumped up and floated a bit before touching back down.
“Hey Scoots? Have I ever told you I was Rainbow Dash once?” Spike asked.
“Well c’mon, crusaders! Time to study for our test!” Apple Bloom said as the three of them cheered.
“Well you have to admire their enthusiasm.” Spike said.
Just as the crusaders were about to run out, the Doctor stops them; “Now hold on, you three!” but with Scootaloo leading, she stops right by the door, and the other crusaders bump into eachother and then onto her, but Scoots is pretty strong not to fall over. She just stood there looking at the Doctor emotionless.
“Remember the rules.” the Doctor reminded them. “We all stick together like glue!”
“Or like caramel on a candy apple!” Apple Bloom suggested.
“Or like sisters!” Scootaloo suggested.
“Or like glue!” Sweetie Belle suggested. “Oh wait, we said that. Like glue STICK! Ah haaaaa!”
“Whatever!” the Doctor said losing his patience. “Just remember how unsafe this is going to be. Now, let’s step out of the TARDIS, and…”
“Doctor, you’re such a square! Flare said you were fun!” Scoots interrupted.
“I did! I did say that!” I said. “Trying to call me a liar, Time Turner?”
“That’s not my name!” the Doctor corrected me. “I’m not related to a kid with a pink hat!”
“Look if you wanna lay on some ground rules, Doctor, that’s fine.” Apple Bloom said. “But if yer gonna be strict just like mah sister, we’re gonna end up wonderin’ off.”
“Speaking of which, I wonder what AppleJack’s doing now?” Spike asked himself.
Meanwhile in present day, AppleJack returns to Sweet Apple Acres saying after she opens the door, “Y’all, ah found out that there is no World Party II museum. Was this some kind of tri… hello? Anypony home?”
“Nnnope.” Big Mac said from the kitchen.
“Ok ah’ll come back later.” AppleJack said as she walks out.
Back with us, with the crusaders leading, we open the TARDIS door and we arrived in… umm… we’ll let the Doctor explain. “Behold!” the Doctor started. “1,016 years ago in Equestria’s past, otherwise known as 16 BB.”
“BB?” Scoots asked.
“Before Banishment.” the Doctor said.
“He’s sayin’ like Nightmare Moon’s banishment.” Apple Bloom said.
“How did you know that, Apple Bloom?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Oh… well…” Apple Bloom started to get nervous. “Uhh… lucky guess? Ah don’t even know. Doctor, what does ‘before banishment’ mean?”
“You had it right, Apple Bloom.” The Doctor nodded. “It was before Nightmare Moon’s banishment.”
“Just so we’re clear, girls,” Apple Bloom said to her friends, “ah did NOT know that for sure. Ah ain’t superior minded. We’re in this together!”
“Well that’s a relief!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Yeah totally!” Scootaloo said.
“Yep, so we’re here in 16 BB, Pololand!” the Doctor said.
“Ok you’re confusing me, brah.” I said to the Doctor. “What does a baby gotta do with this?”
“Pololand!” the Doctor said as we all observed the city. It had a nice medieval architecture and there were minotaurs everywhere. “This is a city in the Minotaur kingdom. It’s also a place where polo shirts were invented!”
“Whoa! Look at those minotaurs fight!” Scootaloo pointed to a couple of minotaurs wrestling.
“Ah yes, Minotaur wrestling.” The Doctor said. “I see you have a keen eye for wrestling, Scootaloo! It’s traditional for minotaurs to-“
“Who said I enjoyed wrestling?” Scootaloo interrupted him.
“Oh, well…” the Doctor said nervous, “you seemed interested, and-“
“Wrestling is SO fake!” Scootaloo said. “That wrestling even looks fake!”
“AAAAH!” one of the wrestling minotaurs cried. “My spleen! My spleen is now up my nose!” The crusaders started to feel uncomfortable after seeing that. I went over and blocked their eyes, and Spike climbed on my back and blocked mine.
“Uhh… moving on now.” the Doctor said awkwardly as we all walked away and decided to look at something else. “And over here we have one of the holy grounds of baptizing water where the minotaurs warship the founders of the species.” The holy art over the holy water shows a marble painting of a bull and an emo human girl.
“Rarity never lets me get that many piercings.” Sweetie Belle said.
“And over here we have minotaur’s finest culinary!” the Doctor said as he showed us one of their restaurants.
“Grass?” Scootaloo asked.
“Not just any grass, but co…” Apple Bloom stopped herself, “…umm… ah dunno, is it a special type of grass?” she asked the Doctor.
“Corn grass! You can’t get it anywhere else but here!” the Doctor said.
“Apple Bloom, I thought you knew this?” Spike asked. “You studied with Twilight on-“
Apple Bloom quickly covers Spike’s mouth and said, “Uhh, what are you talkin’ about? Ah barely know a thing about history! Ah don’t even know the lunch ah had last Wednesday!”
“Really?” I asked. “I do!”
“Yer an adult though, Flare.” Apple Bloom said. “You adults are… more intelligent than us fillies!”
“What?!” Sweetie Belle gasped.
“Really? You’d say that to HIM?!” Scootaloo complained.
“Hey! Don’t call me ‘him’!” I complained. “I’m not some transgender demon!”
“Did ah mean that?” Apple Bloom asked. “Ah mean… you know… ah mean we’re socially more intelligent than… certain adult ponies, but… ah’m talkin’ about… y’know… IQ!”
“You saying we’re stupid?” Scootaloo asked.
“NO!” Apple Bloom yelled. “Ah mean… errr…” Just then, we heard a strange noise echo in the distance.
“Uhh, what was that?” Spike asked. Just then we heard the noise again.
“Pinkie Pie?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Pinkie Pie wasn’t born yet.” Apple Bloom corrected her.
“But it sounds like some kind of streamer.” Sweetie Belle said.
“It is.” the Doctor said. “It would appear the party… is about to begin!” From the distance we’re hearing explosions of confetti, cake frosting covering buildings, and party airships covered the skies while heavy party artillery and tanks started flocking the streets.
“AAH!” Sweetie Belle screamed as she hid behind Scootaloo. “What are they?!”
“Wow… you’d really use me as a meat shield, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked offendedly.
“Bet she’d look good tender!” Spike teased.
“Is that supposed to be a chicken joke?!” Scootaloo yelled angrily at him.
“Wha- NO! Where did you get that from?” Spike asked. “I’m talking about tenderized pony!”
The crusaders started to slowly and awkwardly back away from Spike. “I actually preferred the chicken joke.” Scootaloo admitted.
“Relax! I don’t even know what pony tastes like!” Spike said. “If I did, then, woo-hoo-hoo, you’d be in trouble!”
“Now you girls don’t have to be like that!” the Doctor said. “Each of you are special the way you are, no matter how your intellect may be!”
“He’s right.” I agreed. “You’re strong and smart independent mares! Nothing can stand in your way!”
“Exactly!” the Doctor agreed. “Like all mares!”
“Whoa, let’s not go that far, Doc!” I stopped him. “I mean I have a sister who’s the complete opposite!”
“Regardless though, just because we’re adults doesn’t make us smarter in every way.” The Doctor said. “I mean you three have been friends longer than I could keep a companion! When it comes to friendship, I’m a complete moron! So don’t doubt yourselves, alright?”
“He’s right!” Apple Bloom agreed.
“Hey as long as the three of us are on the same IQ, it doesn’t bother me!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Me neither!” Scootaloo agreed.
“Oh.” Apple Bloom said upsettingly.
“Bombs away!” Spike pointed up into the sky and saw a giant cake falling from the sky. So we all jumped into the cover under a canopy. The Doctor also took out an umbrella and covered the front of us where the cake suddenly splatters.
“Woo! That was close!” Sweetie Belle said in relief.
“For Wizard of Hope’s sake! These bulls were NOT prepared for this!” I said.
“They don’t call it a surprise party for nothin’.” Apple Bloom said.
“Indeed.” The Doctor said. “September 1st, 13 BB, Parti Germaney attacks Pololand with a surprise party, and you fillies must know that there are party laws. Can’t throw a surprise party for a whole town without warning. The Germaney parties started a party conquest throughout the world, in attempt to throw the biggest party ever known. The biggest messes, the biggest againsts, the biggest jug contests, the biggest pin tails on pony games. This party made World Party I seem like a picnic!”
“Wow!” Scootaloo said in shock. “These even make Pinkie Pie’s party seem like a picnic!”
“It would’ve been really interesting if Pinkie came with us.” I said. “See if she could out-party these party-goers! Party go-go-goers! GO! GO! GO! GOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOooooooooooOOOoooo!”
“Are you ok, Flare?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I’m fine, how are you?” I asked.
“Maybe we should have a closer look!” Scootaloo suggested.
“Nuh uh uh.” The Doctor said as he blocks their path. “We’re too close as it is. But don’t you worry your pretty little heads because the real fun hasn’t even started yet!”
“You call war fun?” Spike asked.
“OH HO HO! Trust me, Spike! You Equestrian folk know nothing of war!” the Doctor said. “Now then, to the TARDIS!” So we all returned to the TARDIS for some reason, and the TARDIS disappeared. After we’ve reached our destination, we got out. “Here we are!” the Doctor said as we got out of the TARDIS over a hillside and saw a huge battle going on in the valley below. “One year later. After many of the world’s nations surrendered to the Parti Party, nations began to fight back. It was slow at work, but when the nations formed an alliance, the Partis didn’t stand a chance, despite the allies being outnumbered and outpartied.”
“Where’s Equestria in all this?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Equestria wasn’t a part of the party until later.” The Doctor said. “Equestria wanted to remain as a neutral nation.”
“So what made them join in?” Scootaloo asked.
“Follow me back into the TARDIS and I’ll show you.” The Doctor instructed them. So we all returned into the TARDIS and travelled to a completely different area altogether. Once we got out, we looked around and saw everything was peaceful. “Here we are! Pre-World Party II Equestria! Same year, same time as the last place we were in!”
“Did nopony care that ponies were in trouble in foreign nations?!” Apple Bloom cried out. “Why can’t some of these ponies do somethin’?!”
“Oh they will, Apple Bloom. Believe me, they will!” the Doctor said.
“What is this place?” Spike asked. “It doesn’t look like Old Canterlot. Are we in a different place?”
“Whatever this place is, it still makes Ponyville seem like a nudist colony.” I said. “Every town in Equestria seems that way.”
“So how did Equestria get in the war in the first place?” Scootaloo asked.
“That answer will soon come later today.” The Doctor said. “But for now, how about we enjoy a bit of Equestria’s culture in past times? Perhaps that may help you in a future test!”
“Doctor, don’t forget, they’re just kids.” I reminded him. “If you teach them too much at once, their minds will go ka-blooey. They’re not Time Lords like you, so you don’t understand how young pony minds work. One day, at school, I was getting taught how to draw shadows on pictures that the other students smelled something burning. We pulled the fire alarm, and ran outside, and the fire department came, and they claimed there was no fire in the school, but we still smelled it. Later we realized it was my brain, so the firefighters squirted their hose at me. It didn’t really do anything about the smell though, but they claimed to just do that because I wasted their time.”
“Exactly!” Scootaloo agreed. “Only teach us what’s necessary for the test. Too much learning could lead to that.”
“No it doesn’t.” Apple Bloom corrected her.
“Oh yeah? How do you know?” Scootaloo asked her.
“What does that have to do with anythin’?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Well I dunno about you ladies, but I’m in the mood for some fried plantains! Who’s with me?” I asked.
“I don’t know about fried, but there is a restaurant here that sells grilled plantains.” The Doctor said.
I turned and faced the Doctor very slowly with an angered look on my face, and I said very softly, “Did I say… grilled plantains, Doctor? Hmm? Are you deef or something? Because I don’t remember saying I was in the mood for grilled plantains.”
“What’s the difference?” the Doctor asked.
“What’s the difference?” I repeated. “Substitute one thing to another? Brah, what’s wrong with you?”
“Do you have some sort of OCD or something?” the Doctor asked.
While the Doctor and I argued, the crusaders had a little conversation amongst themselves. Sweetie Belle takes out a notepad and starts writing something down. “What are you doing, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked.
“Taking notes.” Sweetie Belle said. “I’ve been taking notes since we started this trip.”
“What are you writing down now?” Scootaloo asked.
“Fried plantains are not the same as grilled plantains.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well this is boring. What do you say we check out the town, whatever this town is?” Scootaloo suggested.
“Good idea!” Sweetie Belle agreed.
“Wait, didn’t the Doctor say we should be stayin’ with them?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Does a zebra live in the woods?” Scootaloo asked.
“What kind of question is that?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Exactly!” Scootaloo said. “We should take a look around and see what kind of awesome stuff we can find!”
“She’s right, Apple Bloom. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Sweetie Belle said. “I don’t think we’ll be able to travel back in time again!”
“What about that one time we went back with Discord?” Apple Bloom asked.
“C’mon, you think anything like that actually happened?” Sweetie Belle asked. “If Discord was actually able to go back in time, wouldn’t he stop himself from being captured by the Elements of Harmony? The whole thing was probably staged.”
Apple Bloom thought it over. “Well… ah guess it wouldn’t hurt. But shouldn’t we tell them where we’re goin’?”
“Sure.” Scootaloo said as she turned towards us. “Hey, Doctor, we’re going to look around, are you ok with it?”
“Flare, plantains are NOT bananas!” the Doctor argued with me. “They’re two different fruits. You can’t just fry a banana and get exactly what you want! On another note, how is that different from you not wanting grilled plantains?”
“I just want a fried SOMETHING!” I said. “C’mon, there has to be olive oil during these days. You know how old potato chips are?! I didn’t even know they were around for over 100 years!”
“That’s a good enough answer as any. Let’s do this!” Scootaloo cried out.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HISTORY WANDERERS!” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo yelled as they hoof bumped eachother.
“C’mon, Apple Bloom! Join in!” Sweetie Belle instructed her.
“Uh, yeah…” Apple Bloom said awkwardly as her hoof joins in with the others. “Cutie Mark Crusaders history… whatever. Let’s go.”
“Wow, spoil the moment much, AB?” Sweetie Belle complained. So the crusaders wandered off.
As they wandered off, they pass a sign that says ‘Welcome to Pearl Harbor – Home of the Oyster’. Just then, one of the pony residents walks over to the sign and sighs. “Ok, who keeps messing with the sign?” he complained as he switches the words ‘Oyster’ and ‘Pearl’ to their proper places on the sign. “That’s better. I’m getting really tired of this prank!”
As the crusaders walked through town, they look around to see if anything is worth checking out. When they walk up to a tavern, Sweetie Belle suggests going in there for some history lessons, so they do. When they walked into the tavern there was a crowd of ponies eating, drinking, relaxing, and clopping their hooves together for the show on the stage.
“Wow! Who would’ve known that ponies from history could have this much fun?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Fun’s been around for generations, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom said.
“Then how come most old ponies don’t know how to have fun?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Fun’s been different back then.” Apple Bloom said.
“Hey I’m having fun here! Looks like we have a live show!” Sweetie Belle said. “I wonder if anypony could sign up to perform?”
“I’d perform! I’d definitely perform!” a familiar voice said to the crusaders.
“Oh yeah? What can you do, stranger?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Me… a stranger?!” the pony asked them. “My friends, I could never be stranger!” The pony reveals his face, and it turns out to be… well, here, I’ll let you figure it out.
“Flare?!” the crusaders cried.
“Flare? Who’s Flare?” the pony who looked a lot like me asked. “My name is Private Machine Gun.”
“No you’re not, liar!” his friend Weed Leafhorn corrected him as he play punched him in the shoulder. “You’re a long way from being a private! You’re a BUCK private!”
“SO ARE YOU!” Machine corrected him.
“I’m actually between the lines if you catch my drift.” Weed said.
“Herb?!” the crusaders cried out.
“Herb? That sounds like a dumb name.” Weed said. “My name is BUCK Private Weed Leafhorn.”
“Shhhh! Don’t say it too loud!” Machine whispered to him.
“YOU SUCK, BUCK-PRIVATES!” a few military ponies from across the tavern taunted them as stew gets thrown on Machine’s face and apple pie gets thrown on Weed’s.
“I hate those corporals!” Weed said grumpily. “They think they’re so cool!”
“Mmm!” Machine said he licked the stew off his own face. “Joke’s on them. I love soup!”
“That’s stew, moron.” Weed corrected him.
“UGH!” Machine groaned. “Those corporals!”
“Don’t worry, guys! We’ll be able to fight back soon.” Blaze’s ancestor said to Machine and Weed.
“BLAZE?!” the crusaders cried.
“That’s my name; wear it out when you can.” Blaze said.
“Wait… what?” Apple Bloom asked. “Your name is Blaze?”
“Private Blaze Goldheart.” Blaze said. “What can we do for you young fillies?”
“How about the colt? Can we help him too?” Machine asked.
“Sure! How about it, young colt?” Blaze asked.
“I think he’s talking to you, Scootaloo.” Sweetie Belle said to her.
“Really?!” Scootaloo asked with a big smile.
“She’s a filly actually.” Apple Bloom corrected him.
“No, no… it’s fine. You can think I’m a colt if you want!” Scootaloo said.
“Uhh, why?” Apple Bloom asked.
“You know how many times Rainbow Dash was confused as a stallion? Now I’m even more like her!” Scootaloo said happily as she jumped up, hovered a bit, then touched back down.
“Oooooook then.” Apple Bloom said awkwardly.
“Hey, that’s what we wanted to talk to you three about.” Sweetie Belle said.
“About stallions getting confused as mares?” Machine asked. “No wait! I mean, mares getting confused as stallions?” he started to laugh. “I said it backwards!”
“Mares getting confused as stallions and stallions getting confused as mares? What are we? Vikings?” Weed asked.
Sweetie Belle giggled. “No, I mean, signing up for the talent show.”
“Oh the talent show?” Weed asked. “Well feel free to try, but this isn’t just a talent show. It’s for the entertainment of your fellow Equestrian soldiers.”
“Exactly!” Blaze said.
“You’re part of the war?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Are you kidding?! We’re not part of this war that we have nothing to do with!” Blaze said. “We’re a neutral nation. We mind our own business and Equestria stays in peace.”
“The princesses ordered all Equestrian soldiers to stand down.” Weed said. “We are not allowed to be a part of this party war.”
“What if they attack you?” Scootaloo asked. “The Parti Party?”
“They wouldn’t dare!” Weed said.
“That’s right! Equestria’s a powerful nation!” Machine said. “No one has the guts to attack here! I mean WE have the ponies that control day and night! Equestria OWNS this world!”
“So why don’t the princesses help their world?” Apple Bloom asked.
“They thought us minding our own businesses would help.” Blaze said. “It keeps us friends with every other nation. Equestria has no enemies, and there will never again be enemies for us.” Just then a bucket of water gets dumped on the Machine, Weed, and Blaze’s heads by a bunch of bully ponies. The bully ponies laugh and run off. “Except, of course, the corporals.” Blaze said in an annoyed tone.
“Hey! You can fight back!” Scootaloo suggested. “You buck privates outnumber them, don’t you? There’s more of you and less of them?”
“You’d think we could fight back.” Machine said. “Trust me, I’d love for nothing more. Except for a nice tasty apple pie, but that’s it.” Just then, Machine turns over to Weed and said, “Oh that’s right!”
“Lick my face and you’re dead.” Weed threatened him.
“Wooo! Touchy!” Machine commented. He then turns back to the crusaders said, “But the corporals outrank us. They could do whatever they please to us, and we can’t do a thing to them back without getting punished by the sergeants!”
“Ooooo, sorry to hear that.” Sweetie Belle said.
“It’s ok. We tend to get used to it later on.” Blaze said.
Just then, a younger military pony runs over, grabs Blaze’s cider, drinks it, then spits it on his face. “You buck-privates are NOTHING!” the soldier taunted as he laughed and ran off.
“UGH!” Blaze groaned. “Those corporals are rubbing their bad influence on the lance corporals! When they get promoted to corporals, we won’t hear the end of it!”
Back with the Doctor and me, we continued to argue over something he considers stupid but I consider being very important. “Oh, and another thing,” I continued, “I never considered liking cheese chips! I mean I like chips, and I like cheese, but I don’t like cheese chips.”
“Flare, every time we talk, you make less and less sense!” the Doctor said. “Now c’mon, are we here to argue, or are we here teach these fillies some history lessons?”
“Yeah you’re right.” I nodded. “This ain’t economics class, so let’s save the arguing for when we help them study economics.”
“Good idea.” The Doctor agreed. “Alright, crusaders, are you- huh?” the Doctor looked around to search to where the crusaders have gone. “Where did they go?”
“They left.” I said.
“You didn’t even look, how did you know?” the Doctor asked.
“I knew they were gone. You didn’t?” I asked.
“NO!” the Doctor said. “How long did you know? You have any idea where they went?”
“No clue.” I said.
“Well we have to find them!” the Doctor said.
“Hang on, I didn’t answer the first question you asked me!” I reminded him.
“Huh?” the Doctor asked.
“I’ve known they were gone since they said they were wandering off.” I said.
“Oh… ok.” The Doctor said. “Hey Spike, do you know where they went?”
“Wow, you actually remembered I was here.” Spike said sarcastically. “I wasn’t going to say anything and wait how long you would notice. Anyways, I saw them wandering around, and they went to some tavern over there.”
“Ah brilliant!” the Doctor said as he started walking towards the tavern, and the two of us followed.
“Hey Spike, I was wondering,” I started, “how come you act different when you hang out with me than when you hang out with the Mane Six?”
“They like how I act all child-like an innocent around them.” Spike said. “When hanging with you and the Noble Six, you act differently, and perhaps it’s a bad influence on me.”
“Cool!” I said.
“Cool?” Spike asked.
“Don’t worry about it.” I said. So the three of us entered the nearby tavern where the crusaders walked in before. It was a nice tavern, where all the ponies were eating, drinking, and clopping their hooves together for the performances on stage. We looked around to see if we could find them, and by them I mean the crusaders, not the… ponies… clopping their hooves and… yeah. I also just realized I just repeated myself. Boy do I feel like a fool. Then again, I felt like a fool since Book 1.
“Find them yet?” Spike asked me.
“No but I found some soup!” I said as I gave it a taste. Afterwards I spit it out. “AGH! Scratch that, its stew! It’s been in a common threat for my family for generations, brah!”
“I’m not even going to ask.” Spike said.
“Why bother saying it then?” I asked him. “If you don’t want to ask me, then don’t tell me anything!”
“Good point.” Spike said.
“Ah there you girls are!” the Doctor said across the tavern.
“There YOU are, Doctor!” Sweetie Belle said. “Come to see us in the talent show? We just signed up!”
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ENTERTAINERS!” the crusaders cried.
“Sounds interesting.” The Doctor said. “What are you planning to do?”
“Well the thing is…” Apple Bloom said as the crusaders all looked at eachother awkwardly, “…we don’t know yet.”
“I thought we were going to sing.” Sweetie Belle said.
“I thought we were going to do some awesome tricks!” Scootaloo said.
“I thought you girls would actually listen to me and actually stay with me instead of wandering off?” the Doctor asked.
“Yeah its funny how things work doesn’t it?” Spike asked.
“Oooooh… sorry, Doctor.” Apple Bloom said.
“Well we did tell you we were going to wander off since we got bored of you arguing with Flare.” Scootaloo said.
“Well then this is my bad then. I should’ve kept a closer eye on you.” The Doctor said. “From now on, you’re not leaving my sight!”
“What if you have to go to the bathroom?” Scootaloo asked with a smirk.
“I’d like to see you try to make me! A Time Lord can go 60 years without having to use the restroom!” the Doctor said.
“And when was the last time you went to the restroom?” Scootaloo asked mischievously.
“4 years ago.” The Doctor said mischievously. “Can’t try that trick with me!”
“4 years ago from over 1000 years into the future?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I…” the Doctor stops and starts to get a little nervous. “I… umm… excuse me.” the Doctor runs out of the tavern and starts looking for a place to go.
“Nice one, Apple Bloom!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Yeah, how did you think of that?” Scootaloo asked.
“Oh, I… you know… just a guess.” Apple Bloom said nervously.
“Cool! So are we going to sign up for the talent show?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Not so fast!” I stopped them. “You’re not going to sign up for a talent show!”
“Aww, really Flare?” Sweetie Belle complained.
“Yeah, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Scootaloo said.
“Without me!” I added.
“Say what now?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I think you said that at the wrong time, Flare.” Spike pointed out. “You said ‘without me’ after they said ‘once in a lifetime opportunity’. It’s like saying it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity without you.”
“Fine, I have to explain it more then?” I complained. “I don’t even feel like it!”
“You won’t explain it now, but you have no problem with explaining that argument with the Doctor?” Spike asked.
“Forget it!” I yelled as I walked over to the signup sheet. “Let’s just sign up for that talent show and I’ll let you figure out the details!”
“To be honest, I don’t even care.” Scootaloo said.
So as we got ready to perform, across the ocean in between Equestria and some other nation across the way, pegasi were flocking the skies, along with zeppelins, and ships all over the ocean. Some of the ships honked their horns using streamers as their horns. What could this mean? Yes, I’m actually asking you what it means, because I have no clue. Hey, don’t give me that look. Anyways, something’s coming. Equestria wasn’t too far away from the incoming invaders.
Meanwhile, back at the tavern, it was our turn to perform. The Doctor was sitting in the audience with an annoyed expression on his face. “Ugh! Wasting time performing when these fillies should be studying! The least they could’ve done is allowed me to perform with them!”
“Fillies and gentlecolts – may I present – Guns ‘n Dragons!” the host said and the audience cheers. Well that last sentence didn’t seem right. There are two minuses and no equals. What kind of math is this?
“You ready to do this, brah?” I asked Spike behind the curtain.
“We do this every time we time travel, so might as well!” Spike said.
The little orchestra up here on stage starts playing as the curtains open revealing Spike and me wearing military helmets and big rifle-sized sticks, and just holding a pose for the crowd until our moment comes. “Can you tell me why again you didn’t bother having the crusaders up here with us?” Spike asked.
“The little musical number while we time travel? That’s our thing, bro!” I said.
“Hmph! Jerks!” Sweetie Belle complained backstage.
“Let’s prove to them that we can sing twice as good as them!” Apple Bloom said as she took out the sheet with the lyrics we’re going to sing, and read them.
“THREE TIMES!” Sweetie Belle cried out.
“TEN TIMES!” Scootaloo cried out.
“Whoa, Scoots! Let’s not take it too far.” Sweetie Belle suggested.
Spike and I began to dance with our sticks and helmets much like we dance with our top hats and canes, and we began to sing a little something that Glen Miller inspired us to sing. “This song is for the Apple family!” I shouted out. “Any of the Apple family in here (besides the one that came in with us)?”
“Howdy!” a pony waved from the back of the tavern.
“Excellent!” I said. “We have a little something for you! And it goes a little something like this!” Just then Spike and I started singing, “Don’t sit under the apple tree, with anyone else but me!”
“Anyone else but me.” I sang as Spike started ‘oooing’.
“Anyone else but me, no no no!” we both sang. “Don’t sit under the apple tree, with anyone else but me, till I come marching home!”
“Don’t go walking down lover’s lane, with anyone else but me!” I sang as I twirled my stick, and no, let me remind you that this is a child-friendly story, so stop thinking that, you sicko!
“Anyone else but me!” Spike and I both sang as we both started skipping elbow to elbow. “Anyone else but me! No, no, no! Don’t go walking down lover’s lane, with anyone else but me!” Then we both started marching like military soldiers. “Till I come marching home!”
Spike then sang, “Just I got word, from a guy who heard, from the guy next door to me… and the girl he met just loves to pet, and it fits you to a T!” he was dancing on a giant letter T. The top of the T then collapses a quarter down the stick, and Spike was hanging on the two ends of the top of the T with his arms on both ends as we sang the next part, “So don’t sit under the apple tree, with anyone else but me, till I come marching hooooome!”
Spike got unattached of the broken T and we both continued dancing until the next verse of the song came on. Just then, Sweetie Belle dances onto the stage while wearing a pink dress and a pink fluffy featherly neck thing as she sang, “Don’t give up with those lips of yours, to anyone else but me,”
“Sweetie Belle?!” Spike and I both said surprisingly.
“Anyone else but me, anyone else but me. No, no, no!” Sweetie Belle sang. We both just stood there watching her. “Watch the girls on the foreign shores. You have to report to me… when you come marching home!”
“This isn’t your type of song!” I whispered.
“Too bad!” Sweetie Belle whispered back.
“Don’t hold anyone on your knee, you better be true to me!” Apple Bloom sang as she moon walked on stage while wearing a top hat and a black vest. “You better be true to me… you better be true to me!” The trumpets blast three times. “Don’t hold anyone on your knee, or you’ll get a third degree,” Apple Bloom places a thermometer in my mouth showing the temperature only 3 degrees Celsius. Celsius, because that’s more possible. “When you come marching home!”
Scootaloo then dances in while wearing a pilgrim costume and she sings, “You’re on your own; when there is no phone and I can’t keep tabs on you!” I then heard a booping sound nearby.
“What was that?” I freaked out. I swear that sound always gets me when I listen to this song. I always think it’s my headphones.
“Be fair to me, I’ll guarantee, there’s one thing that I’ll do: I won’t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but you, till you come marching home!” Scootaloo sang.
“Why are you wearing a pilgrim outfit?” Apple Bloom asked her as we all continued dancing.
“It was the closest thing I could find to a phone outfit.” Scootaloo said. “Did the one who invent telephones wear this?”
“Hey pilgrim outfit!” I pointed out. “Pilgrims invented Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving has turkey, and the only bird closest to turkey is a chicken!”
“What is that supposed to mean, Flare?” Scootaloo asked offendedly.
“If you don’t know by now, I’m not saying it.” I said.
“That didn’t make any sense.” Spike said.
So we decided to conclude the song before going on. We all started singing, “Don’t sit under the apple tree, with anyone else but me! I know the apple tree… is reserved for you and me… and I’ll be truuuue to yoooou till you come marching hoooooooo-“ Just then our song gets interrupted by an echo in the distance.
“Wha… what was that?” Sweetie Belle asked nervously. Just then, the sound echoes in the distance again.
“It’s… it’s…” Apple Bloom stutters.
“It has interrupted the song!” I complained.
“WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!” a pony cried as he ran inside the tavern. “THE PARTIS ARE COMING! THE PARTIS ARE COMING!” Just then, everypony in the room started screaming and freaking out.
“HEY!” Sweetie Belle yelled. “YOU’RE NOT RUNNING AWAY UNTIL I FINISH MY SONG! THIS IS MY SPECIAL MOMENT!” Just then, everyone stopped freaking out and just froze in place. “SIT DOWN! ALL OF YOU!” Sweetie demanded. So they did. “Thank you.” Sweetie said as she cleared her throat. Just then, the crusaders, Spike, and I concluded the song, “-ooooooooooooome!” Yeah even the instruments were there to conclude the number. Yeah I have a problem with closure so I pretty much agreed with her when it came to finishing the number. “Ok.” Sweetie said. “The song’s over. You can freak out now.” So they did.
Oyster Harbor was now getting attacked by the Partis. If you thought this war wasn’t actually bringing harm to ponies, it actually was. Confetti was falling from the sky and landing in pony’s mouths, choking them, and there weren’t even any choking hazard labels on them. Balloon bombs fell from the sky as well, and popped when they landed, making ponies deaf from their loud noises. Cake frosting was also mushed all over pony’s faces, making the ponies that are lactose intolerant all gassy. To add to that, some of the cakes had nuts in them. So yeah, World Party II was pretty harmful to our fellow ponies.
The Doctor, Spike, the crusaders, and I were all hiding inside a sheep pen as the Partis were close to taking over Oyster Harbor. We see them march right pass us as we hid behind some sheep, some hay, and a feeder. We peeked our heads out to check on everything, and then immediately put our heads back down again.
“See what happens?” the Doctor complained. “You all got distracted and now we lost track on time and we’re trapped here!”
“Forget that! Don’t you crusaders know what you just did?!” I complained.
“We disobeyed the Doctor and now we’re on the risk of gettin’ partied out?” Apple Bloom asked.
“NO!” I said. “I told you three that the musical numbers when we time travel belongs to Spike and me. This is OUR thing.”
“To be honest, I don’t care either way.” Spike admitted. “I’m just glad you actually let me sing. Nopony else does.”
“So why did you let us sing then, Flare?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“You were already on stage. No need to cause a scene.” I said.
“Well, Flare, now that you know what it’s like to be disobeyed, huh?” the Doctor smirked at me.
“Oh shut it, Doctor! You were just being a square! I only demanded the crusaders not sing with Spike and I because what we do is traditional. Tradition and being a square are two different things.” I explained.
“Whatever! But crusaders, you really need to listen to me. Your lives may be at stake here.” The Doctor explained to them. “I’m just looking out for your safety.”
“We know that, Doctor, and we’re sorry.” Apple Bloom said.
“Whoa, Apple Bloom! What gives you the right to talk for all of us? You do that a lot!” Scootaloo complained.
Spike started sniffing some scent in the air. “Do any of you smell something burning?”
“No.” Sweetie Belle said as she sniffed. “Oh wait, I do! It smells like… BBQ tree ribs.”
Just then, an arrow with a rib on fire hanging on it gets shot right at us, but it lands on the wooden column near us. “Muggle juggle tuggle fuggle!” the soldier cried out.
“What?” Scootaloo asked.
“What on Earth did he say?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Did you know the word ‘Earth’ without ‘Art’ is only ‘Eh’?” I asked.
“I did that quote waaaaaaaay before you did, Flare.” Sweetie Belle reminded me. The soldier then suddenly shot another rib arrow at us.
“Delicious, but… RUN!” the Doctor yelled.
So we all started running away from the troopers, but Spike ran back and picked a piece off the rib on the arrow and gave it a taste. “Hmm… I prefer medium-rare.” He commented, and then he ran away again. We all ran until we found a party tank and hid behind that. The soldiers then ran passed the tank, not knowing that we were there.
When they ran by, Apple Bloom took a peek and said, “We need to get outta here!”
“Agreed. We should head back to the Doctor’s… phone booth thingy.” Sweetie Belle suggested.
“Now hang on! You wanna just give up just like that?” the Doctor asked. “You still have some studying to do!”
“He’s right! We’re not going to let some party animals ruin our test for us! Miss Cheerilee is counting on us to pass!” Scootaloo said. “Besides, we don’t have any allergies to these party foods! We’ll be fine!”
Just then, the tank starts driving away, and the soldiers found us and aimed their party guns at us. I was the first one who was shot. “AAAAH!” I yelled as white stuff was splattered all over my face. “AAAH! Super hot marshmallow sauce! It burns! Why do I have to be the first one shot?! Why me out of everyone else?! What’s so special about me!?”
“I stand corrected.” Scootaloo said. We were surrounded by the Parti Troops, but luckily, nopony said we were surrounded, which if they did, they’d be an obvious square as what I call it. So just as we thought we were doomed, we heard party gun shots, but none of us were shot. No… it was help.
“Need some help from some privates like us?” Machine Gun asked.
“BUCK privates.” Weed corrected him.
“Shhhh!” Machine shushed him.
“Relax, these ponies are not with the corporals!” Weed said.
“Machine Gun! Weed Leafhorn! Blaze’s ancestor Blaze! So good to see you again, my friends!” I said excitedly.
“Do we know you?” Blaze asked.
“I might. He looks somewhat familiar, and devilishly handsome!” Machine said as he looked at me. I then posed at him while wearing some devil horns, a tail, and holding a demon fork, whatever it’s called. It’s really big, so I’m sure it’s not a salad fork. It’s DEFINITALY not a lobster fork, that’s for sure!
“Wait a minute, you know these ponies?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yeah. Flare, Doctor, and I met them twice before.” Spike said.
“But now it would seem this is the first time they met us.” The Doctor said.
“Whatever you say, man.” Blaze said. “But we should really get you three to safety. We’re evacuating the town.”
“Why? Shouldn’t we stand and fight?” Scootaloo asked as she stood on her hind-hooves and started punching around with her hooves like a boxer. “Where’s your honor?”
“The corporals took it, I’m afraid.” Blaze said. “They… even the privates are trying to defend Oyster Harbor against the Partis! Us buck privates stay behind to rescue the civilians and take them to safety.”
“I don’t see why that’s so bad. We’re doing a good deed, and a very important one!” Weed said.
“Yeah, Blaze! I mean, this sure beats what we normally do – clean the mess right after.” Machine said.
“I supposed that’s true.” Blaze said. He then cringed and said, “Rrugh! I can still hear the screams… of the rotten deviled eggs causing ponies to lose their lunch. I pity such a fate.”
“We all do, my boy.” Weed said as he comforted Blaze. “We all do.”
“And you’re just goin’ to LET THEM do that to you?!” Apple Bloom yelled.
“Shh! Keep it down!” Weed whispered.
“Oh great! Somepony’s coming!” Machine pointed out.
“Get your weapons ready!” Blaze whispered. Just then, Blaze was shot by a paintball.
“LOSER!” the soldier taunted.
“GO AWAY, CORPORAL! Nopony likes you!” Machine yelled.
“Ignore them, buddy.” Weed suggested. “We need to take these civilians to safety before we worry about those corporals. Hey if we’re lucky, the Partis might wipe them out.”
“How can you say that?!” Sweetie Belle shouted.
“Yeah, even though they’ve given you a problem, they’re still your allies.” Apple Bloom said.
“Hey we didn’t start this shenanigan, alright?” Machine asked. “Now c’mon!”
“Will we expect any Parti Soldiers around along the way?” the Doctor asked.
“Doubtful. Our soldiers are trying to retake the post office.” Blaze said. “It’s a very important rally point we need to protect.”
“Is it because it’ll give you the advantage to see in all directions?” the Doctor asked.
“No.” Blaze said.
“Is it because there’s heavy weapons in there?” the Doctor asked.
“No.” Blaze said.
“Is there very useful supplies in there?” the Doctor asked.
“Close, but no.” Blaze said.
“Is it because it’ll provide a shelter for civilians?” the Doctor asked.
“No! You were closer before, now you’re colder!” Blaze said.
“Well… what is it then?” the Doctor asked.
“We’re expecting a very important package.” Machine said.
“A heavy weapon?” the Doctor asked.
“No… we sent in 500 box tops, and we’re waiting for our free novelty telescope to come in the mail.” Machine said.
“Oh that’ll be very useful for the war!” the Doctor said.
“We’re not using it for the war, my friend.” Machine corrected him “We’re going to keep it, and then wait many years until it’s worth a lot of money.”
“Oh… well… I guess that seems… smart too?” The Doctor stuttered awkwardly.
“Smart? It’s genius!” I yelled excitedly as I accidently punch somepony behind me.
“Ow!” the pony that covered his face and body within a cloak yelled. “Oi, mate! Watch it!”
“Sorry, buddy.” I said. “I didn’t know you were behind me.” The pony painfully holds his nose as he walks away. I then looked down and found my wallet lying on the ground. “Oh, my wallet must’ve fallen out of my pocket.” I then picked it up and placed it back on my back vest pocket. “There we go!”
“Since when did you have a back vest pocket?” Spike asked.
“Since I ran out of room to put my stuff in front pockets.” I said.
“Ah.” Spike nodded.
“Now come. We must take you to the evac carriage. We’re heading out.” Weed said. So the buck privates took us over to the carriages so we can evacuate the town as the party in Oyster Harbor went on. The evac carriage was a carriage truck with some cloth covers on it. We climbed onto the back, and Weed and Blaze attached themselves onto the front while Machine was in the back with us.
After we took our seats, Machine banged on the front of the carriage and yelled, “Bang, bang! Time to go!”
“Got it!” Blaze said as he and Weed began pulling the carriage, and just like that, we began leaving town.
“Wait what about your time machine, Doctor?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Relax, it’ll be fine.” The Doctor said. “It’s completely indestructible, and we’re not in space, so the TARDIS will be fine. Just stick by me.”
Just then, behind us, as dramatic music from an awesome trilogy started playing in the background, some Parti soldiers on a volkswagon carriage started charging toward us. “Oh shoot! We have company coming!” Apple Bloom pointed out.
“Good or bad?” Sweetie Belle asked as she peeked out.
“Lemme see.” I said as I peeked out as well. “Oh, Spike, look!”
“What?” Spike asked as he looked out. I then punched him in the shoulder. “Ow!”
“Black one!” I shouted.
“Shoulda seen that coming.” He said as he rubbed his shoulder.
Scootaloo and the Doctor both went over to take a look as well and saw the Partis closing in at us, and they started firing. We all ducked down, except for Scootaloo. “This is so awesome!” she said as she leaned out of the carriage a bit. Just then, the carriage runs over a pebble which bumps the carriage a bit, and then Scootaloo loses balance and falls out.
“SCOOTALOO!” we all shouted.
“STOP THIS THING! TURN AROUND!” the Doctor demanded to Machine as he shook him.
Scootaloo came back to her senses and saw the enemy carriages were closing in from behind her. Scootaloo then eventually finds a fruit cart with a merchant right beside the road. She goes over to the merchant and says, “Can I borrow this?” and she rips off the bottom part of the cart with wheels, jumps on the board and starts skateboarding her way back to us.
“TURN AROUND!” the Doctor shouted.
“No, hang on, Doctor! Look!” Apple Bloom pointed to Scootaloo whom was really catching up to us.
The Doctor peeked over and shouted, “I don’t care! We need to stop this thing! Flare, help me out!”
“Wow! Look at her go!” I said impressively.
Just then, the carriage catches up the Scootaloo, bumps her in the back, but Scootaloo places her front hooves on the carriage, hoping it wouldn’t be able to ram her or run her over. “C’mon, Scoots! C’mon, Scoots!” Sweetie Belle mumbled to herself as she watched.
Scootaloo was pretty much trapped on front of the carriage, trying to make sure the carriage doesn’t run her over. The ponies in the carriage start throwing empty bottles at Scootaloo, but they miss her completely. “Really?!” she yelled. “You’d throw bottles at a filly?! What is wrong with you!?” Scootaloo then looks behind her and sees a manure truck up ahead. The Partis wanted to squish Scootaloo in between their carriage and the truck. Scootaloo then takes a little gold heart locket out of her hair and opens it, revealing a picture of herself and Rainbow Dash on it. “You’re by my side, RD!”
Scootaloo then puts the locket back in her hair and then pushes her skateboard under the Parti carriage, and she jumps right on top of the carriage, runs through it, and then jumps off from the other side and lands on her skateboard. The Partis looked back at Scoots in shock, even the pony pulling the carriage. They all then turn back onto the road, and then they start screaming because they were about to hit the truck up ahead. The Parti soldiers in the carriage began to scream as the pony pulling the carriage tries to stop and turn around, but by turning to the side, the side of the carriage crashes onto the truck and the manure from behind the truck dumps all over the Partis.
“MOO! My collection!” the cattle driving the truck cried.
One of the Parti soldiers spit out the manure from his mouth and yelled, “FRAGGLE BAGGLE MANUAGGLE!”
Scootaloo then smirks at them, and then skateboards her way back to us. She jumps into the carriage and we all cheer for her. “Wow, Scootaloo! That was amazing!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Ah’ll say!” Apple Bloom agreed.
“Yeah, I mean I thought Scootaloo would’ve been doomed when those Parti Soldiers were about to ram her, but that manure truck and climbing on top of the carriage, it really confused them!” Spike said excitedly. “It was amazing!”
“Thanks guys!” Scootaloo said. “Really, it was nothing!”
“Really?” Sweetie Belle asked with a smirk.
“Ok, it was something!” Scootaloo admitted. “It was a whole lot of something!”
“It was dangerous.” The Doctor said.
“Oh quit being a square, Doctor!” I playfully shoved him. “Scoots knows what she’s doing! She’s an expert on the board with wheels! Her name ain’t Scootaloo anymore! It’s Boardonwheelsaloo!”
“I have no idea what that contraption is, but that was very interesting! Well done, young mare!” Machine said.
“Thanks, private!” Scootaloo said.
“Eeeee!” Machine squeed. “She called me private! I’m so in!”
“C’mon, Doctor! You should give her some congratulations! Please?” I asked. “Handsome please with smelly garlic on top?” I even gave the Doctor the puppy dog eyes.
The Doctor sighed and then patted Scootaloo’s head. “Good job. Alright.” Scootaloo also sighed.
“Don’t worry about him, Scootaloo.” Apple Bloom said. “He’s just a square, just like what Flare said.”
“Oh cool! They learned something from me! I taught them something! I feel spewcial!” I said happily and girly. So we rode along the trail for a few miles, but eventually, we made it to the triage camp, where soldiers were taking care of the partied out ponies and soldiers.
“Such a tragedy!” the Doctor said. “You six were lucky to not be around during this time. So many victims in this cruel party. Many have lost their homes.”
“What?! Were their homes destroyed?” Scootaloo asked.
“No, they were so messy that the landlords got angry and kicked out their owners.” The Doctor said.
“That’s awful!” Apple Bloom said.
“Landlord’s… Time Lord’s species from another dimension. Before the Daleks, they were our arch-nemesis.” The Doctor said.
“I can see why.” Spike said.
“Alright, get out you three. We need to go back into town and rescue more civilians.” Weed said.
“You know, we can help you.” Apple Bloom suggested.
“There you go again, Apple Bloom! Talk for yourself!” Scootaloo instructed her.
“Trust me, you had amazing moves, Scootaloo!” Machine said to Scootaloo. “If it was up to me, I’d say yes, but we’re just buck-privates. We don’t have a say. Our superiors wouldn’t allow it. I hope you can understand.”
Scootaloo sighs. “I guess.”
“Hey put us a show when we get back huh?” Blaze suggested.
“Oh we would love to!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly.
“What about me and the Doctor though? We’re old enough to be in the military.” I said.
“No, no, no. I’m way too old to be a part of the military. Mm-mm.” the Doctor said.
“What about me?” I asked.
“Sure.” Weed said as he took out a razor. “You ready for us to shave your hair?”
I just stood there in awkward silence, and then I finally said, “Have fun in the battlefield!”
“Yeah I know how you feel, buddy.” Machine said to me. “It wasn’t easy when I shaved my hair. I still have nightmares.”
“Now all of you just relax, and you’ll be back home before you know it!” Blaze said. “It’s only Oyster Harbor they attacked, and no other part in Equestria. I wonder why?”
“Whatever. Let’s move out, team. We have more civilians to rescue.” Weed said. So the three of them walked away, leaving us six here to relax. A few hours went by, and we got our tent to relax.
“Hey Doctor?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yes, Apple Bloom?” the Doctor asked.
“If time moves by here, does time move back at home?” Apple Bloom asked.
“What?” Scootaloo asked.
“No, I know what she’s saying.” The Doctor said. “It all depends on when I send you back. I mean yes time is moving back at home, but I can always send you back closer to when you left. It’ll be like you never left in the first place, even though I sometimes had that problem of sending back my companions too far off. Speak to some of my previous companions, you’ll know. Anyhoo… you three learning anything new?”
“We sure ar- uhh, ah mean… ah sure am!” Apple Bloom said. Scootaloo then pats Apple Bloom on the face with a smile on her shoulder. Uh, I mean… the other way around.
“So this is what it’s like, huh?” Sweetie Belle asked. “This is what it’s like to time travel?”
“Sometimes it’s super fun, and sometimes it’s super complicated.” Spike said. “The Doctor time travelled all his life, and as for Flare and me, we’ve time travelled four times, so we’re pretty much used to how things work.”
“Actually I’ve time travelled many other times before!” I said.
“Oh yeah? When?” Spike asked.
“Every time I fly from the East coast of Equestria to the West coast, it’s breakfast time at lunch time.” I said. “When I fly back to the East coast, it’s the exact opposite.”
“Well…” Scootaloo started and then yawned. “I don’t know about you guys, but I am beat! Being a complete pro skater sure would take a lot outta ya!”
“I wouldn’t know that.” The Doctor said.
“Yeah, we’re going to rest it off.” Sweetie Belle said as she hoped onto one of the Coleman military beds. “But one thing’s for sure. I’m learning a lot from this experience.”
“You know, we didn’t have to do this.” I said.
“What? Of course we had to. How else are we supposed to be ready for the test?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Ok first off, Apple Bloom, you know all these things already, you studied with AppleJack. I was there.” I said.
“FLARE!? Shhh!” she shushed me.
“What?” Scootaloo asked.
“Ah don’t know anythin’! We have the same IQ.” Apple Bloom said.
“Apple Bloom, we don’t care if you’re smarter than us.” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah you do, you said so.” Apple Bloom corrected her.
“I was joking! Sheesh, Apple Bloom! You’re as much as a square as the Doctor here!” Scootaloo laughed.
“HEY!” the Doctor yelled offended.
“Can I say my second thing now?” I asked.
“So… you really don’t care?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Of course not!” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah, Apple Bloom!” Sweetie Belle agreed. “We’re proud of you! Plus, if we didn’t except you for being smarter than us, what kind of friends does that make us?”
“Oh… so that wasn’t the moral of this whole trip. I could’ve sworn it was.” Spike said.
“Nah, that’s a stupid moral. Everybody knows THAT moral.” I said. “Now can I say my second thing now?”
“Sure, Flare! Go ahead!” Sweetie Belle accepted.
“Thank you.” I said. Just then, we were all silent for a few moments.
“Well? Are you going to say it?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Say what?” I asked.
“The second thing you were going to say.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Oh… I forgot.” I admitted.
“Whatever. Good night.” Sweetie said as she lays down and instantly falls asleep. Why is everypony a better sleeper than I am? Maybe it’s because my mattress is so uncomfortable. But look at this camp bed she’s sleeping on! That’s gotta be the most uncomfortable thing in the world!
“Well, I guess I’ll join her.” Spike said.
“Ooooooo, Spiiiiiiike!” I said flirtiously.
Spike blushed. “I don’t mean it like that!”
“Surrrrrrre you don’t!” I said sarcastically.
“I DON’T!” Spike yelled.
“Yeah, uhhh huh! I totally believe you, brah!” I said as I gave him a smirk.
“I don’t! Really!” Spike said.
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh!” I said.
“Really!” Spike said again.
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh!” I said.
“Whateve-“ Spike said as I interrupted him.
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh!” I said.
“You all go ahead and rest. I’m going to check out the briefing room and see what they have planning. Perhaps it’ll be useful for my next lecture.” The Doctor said.
“Alright, brah, go ahead. You think you can get us a snack?” I asked.
“I could try, sure.” The Doctor nodded.
“Hey Doctor?” Spike asked. “You think you could find me a-“
“UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HUH!” I interrupted him.
Time went by, and the soldiers guarding the camp were just there…. guarding of course. The watcher was looking out and checking for any intrusion. The watcher’s partner goes up to him and asks, “Sir? Find anything?”
“I don’t know. I lost my binoculars.” The watcher said. “The sarge would kill me if he found out, so I’m just standing here until my relief gets here.”
“Here you are, sir.” The partner said as he gave him a tiny yellow plastic telescope. “Our free novelty telescope has arrived!”
“Ah, excellent! Well done!” the watcher says as he takes the telescope and looks out of it. “Perfect! I could see everything now!”
“Oh yeah? What color is my underwear?” the partner asked.
“You’re not wearing any.” The watcher said.
“Oooo! That thing really does work!” the partner said impressively.
“Wait a minute.” The watcher said. “I’m seeing somepony coming.”
“Parti troops?” the partner asked.
“No, it’s just one pony covered in a cloak. I think it might be a refugee.” The watcher said.
“I’ll go get the medics and bring them in.” the partner said as he does so. A couple of medics head out of the camp just as the refugee collapses on the ground. The medics quickly run over to him to give him aid.
“Sir? Are you ok?” one of the medics asked the refugee.
The refugee coughs and says, “Am I… am I safe?”
“You are.” He medic says. “Let’s bring him inside; give him food.”
The refugee coughs again and says, “Th-than-thank you… m-mates.”
“Shhh, don’t try to talk.” The medic instructed him. “We’ll give you medical treatment, and you’ll be back on your hooves in no time.”
“I… I… really… appreciate it.” The refugee says as he picks the medics’ pockets.
Back inside, I was playing a little app on my phone. The CMCs and Spike were sleeping, and the Doctor was out, but I knew I wouldn’t be alone for long.
“Flare?” Apple Bloom asked as she woke up. “What are you doin’?”
“Playing Be-Jeweled on my phone.” I said. “I got some battery power to spare and there’s no internet, and since nopony is around, I might as well play a futuristic technology game.”
“Why aren’t you restin’?” Apple Bloom asked.
“To be honest, sista, I’m more hungry than tired. Playing games is my way to relax.” I said. “Oh… my battery died. Oh well.”
“So ah guess yer goin’ to rest now?” Apple Bloom asked.
“No. I still got plenty of power on my iPod.” I said.
“Well… ah can’t sleep. Mind if we talk?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Not at all! Sit down with me.” I offered.
“Thank you.” She said as she did. “So… ah guess you and Spike time travel often?”
“Not often, but sometimes.” I said. “First time we time travelled was a microwave accident. We travelled to the time period of Nightmare Moon’s return.”
“Hey, that’s the same day Twilight and Spike moved to Ponyville!” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah, and then the second trip we went back to stop Nightmare Moon from being a thing, but we changed the future in a bad way so Nightmare Moon had to happen.” I said.
“Wow… ah was always wonderin’ mahself what would happen if Nightmare Moon didn’t exist.” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah, and that was the time I met my ancestor Machine Gun, Herb’s ancestor Weed, and Blaze’s ancestor that goes by his same name.” I said. “I’m still wondering if I’m going to meet any other ancestor here. I wonder what went on with Jerry’s ancestor before he moved to Mareami.”
“Who’s Jerry?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Wow, you know Herb but not Jerry?” I asked.
“We met Herb with you in Mareami.” Apple Bloom reminded me. “But ah heard you mention Jerry before.”
“Yeah, he’s a friend.” I said. “He’s our friend that works on the inside.”
“Inside? You mean prison?” Apple Bloom asked.
“No… he’s a… well I don’t want to reveal his identity. He works for Princess Celestia though, I can tell you that much.” I said.
“Is he a secret agent or somethin’?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Sure.” I said.
“Well maybe we’ll meet him one day – Jerry, and maybe y’all will meet his ancestor.” Apple Bloom said.
“I hope so.” I nodded. “So… what about you? You having fun in the past?”
“It’s fun!” Apple Bloom said. “The Doctor keeps claiming what we’re doin’ is dangerous, but we haven’t really been in any danger at all.”
“If I’m going to be completely honest with you, my friend, we’re lucky.” I said. “I don’t want to jinx it or anything, but luck can run out. If it was my way, luck would never run out. We’d rule the world, and have lots of pizza, and cheesecake, and kittens! Unfortunately, it’s not my way, so… yeah, you get what I’m saying.”
Apple Bloom giggles. “Yer funny, Flare. Always thought you were funny since we first met. Weird at times, yes, but yer a good pony.”
“Thanks, AB!” I said as I put my arm around her. “Glad to have a friend like you! Cause you got a friend in me! No, wait… you never had a friend like me! Dang, why did I get the songs mixed up?”
“Excuse me?” a medic asked as he peeks his head through the tent. “Am I interrupting anything?”
“Yes.” I said.
“Well we’re saving some tents for bigger families and we heard there was a bed available in here since your friend is eavesdropping on our commanders, so I hope it’s ok if we let this pony sleep in here.” The medic requested as he lets the cloaked refugee inside the tent.
“Sure, why not?” Apple Bloom accepted.
“Hey I know this pony! I accidently hit him back in Oyster Harbor!” I said.
“Right… umm… you take care.” The medic said as he leaves us the refugee. The refugee then silently walks over to one of the empty beds and lays down.
“Uhh… Flare?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“You can get your arm off me now, this is getting creepy.” She requested.
“Oh… sorry.” I said as I removed my arm from off her back.
Meanwhile over in the briefing room, the Doctor was listening to the commanders and what their plans are going to be. “Alright, so we’re going to provide a counterattack to bring back Oyster Harbor.” One of the commanders said.
“Colonel Binky Plug, sir?” one of the soldiers asked.
“Yes, Lieutenant Horse Radish?” the colonel asked.
“I don’t understand though.” The lieutenant said. “Why did these Partis only attack Oyster Harbor and no other part in Equestria? In all other nations they attacked, they took over the whole nation.”
“That’s a very good question, soldier, have a gummy bear!” the colonel offered as he flicks one into the lieutenants mouth, and the lieutenant stands on his hind hooves with his arms forward like a puppy, and he catches the gummy bear with his mouth.
“Mmm! Thank you, sir!” the lieutenant said.
“Now to answer your question, we have stolen some enemy intelligence at an outpost 50 clicks away.” The colonel explained. “It would appear that the Partis are interested in supplies we have over at Oyster Harbor. They’re raiding homes and partying out civilians, but afterwards, they search their houses. They’re looking for something.”
“Do you know what, sir?” the lieutenant asked.
“Not 100%, but we have the feeling they’re looking for our secret oyster stash they have hidden under the floor boards. The pearls are ancient treasures that come from sacred fur oysters.” The colonel explained.
“How much are they worth?” the lieutenant asked.
“Well, hey, we wouldn’t want you to go stealing them now would we?” the colonel asked.
“No… I guess not.” The lieutenant said.
“Let’s just say, they’re worth a lot.” The colonel said with his arm around him. “But we don’t know for sure if that’s what they’re after. Now then, rally the troops. We’re preparing for our counterattack.”
“COLONEL! COLONEL!” a soldier cried out as he ran inside the tent.
“Sergeant Flies. What can I do for you?” the colonel asked.
“Well first off one of the civilians has been eavesdropping on your conversation.” Sergeant Flies said.
“How could you have known without eavesdropping on me as well?” the Doctor asked as he peaked his head in.
“He’s right.” The colonel agreed. “Now what do you need?”
“The Partis… they’re commencing a counterattack to this position!” Sergeant Flies said. “We need to defend this camp!”
“Right, we need to protect the refugees.” The colonel agreed. “Lieutenant, rally the troops.”
“Yes, sir!” the lieutenant salutes as he runs off.
“It’s not just on the ground, sir. It’s in the air!” Flies said.
“Then get the pegasi troops ready. We need to defend the camp!” the colonel said.
“Colonel!” a scientist yelled as he ran inside the tent.
“Dr. Steinburger, what is the status of the new prototype airships?” the colonel asked.
“They’re ready, sir! Ready to be tested out in the field!” Dr. Steinburger said.
“Excellent! We’ll have the camp defended perfectly!” the colonel said. “Now commence battle stations!”
“Should we commence the alarm, sir?” the sergeant asked.
“No. We don’t want to alarm the refugees. Wait until the Partis are close enough.” The colonel said.
“Sir, yes sir!” the sergeant saluted. “Dr. Steinburger, take me to the airships!”
“Oh right away!” Dr. Steinburger said as the two of them run out of the tent. The Doctor stood there to think of what to do next. He then smiles and runs out and is on his way back to our tent.
When the Doctor runs back to our tent, he yells, “Everypony wake up! I got the perfect lecture for- what are you doing, Flare?”
“Checking Apple Bloom’s hair for lice.” I said.
“Mah hair started itchin’ and Flare said his school did it but for some reason ours doesn’t.” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah, and I didn’t find anything suspicious.” I said as I take a little bug from Apple Bloom’s hair and put it in my mouth.
“Eww! Flare, what did you eat?” Apple Bloom asked.
“It was an ant, don’t worry.” I said. “Ants are full of protein.”
“What is it, Doctor?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I have a little something to teach you!” the Doctor said. “I want to tell you a bit about what’s going to be happening in a few minutes.”
“What’s going to happen?” Scootaloo asked.
“The enemies are going to counterattack this base.” The Doctor said.
“COUNTERATTACK?!” the crusaders yelled.
“Wait… what’s a counterattack?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“It’s when the allies have gained an area that used to be controlled by the enemies, but the enemies are now trying to get it back by using force.” The Doctor explained.
“Oh. So are we in danger?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“As long as we follow the soldiers’ instructions we should be fine.” The Doctor said. “We are under the protection of Equestria’s-“
“OW!” I yelled.
“Flare, what happened?” the Doctor asked.
“That ant I ate was a fire ant. It bit my throat! Ouch!” I said I rubbed my neck.
“As I was saying,” the Doctor continued, “we are under the protection of Equestria’s finest military soldiers. We’ll be fine! We are protected from the best of the best, and by extension – me.”
“Says the pony that’s too afraid to hold a gun, even if it’s a party gun.” I teased.
“Party gun – real gun – Flare Gun, it doesn’t make a difference to me! One of them may not be so lethal, but it feels that way to me!” the Doctor said. “Besides, you can handle yourself in a fight, don’t you Flare?”
“No I do not.” I said.
“Now hang on, what about your cool magic and all that?” Spike asked.
“You think I like hurting other ponies with my magic? Sorry, brah, they’re not Swinebots, so forget it. End of story. Goodbye. Thank you for playing!” I said.
“What?” Spike asked.
“Nevermind. Anyways, let’s get us a good view of the show.” The Doctor suggested. “Let’s head up those hills and get a great view of the battle, and I’ll tell you a bit about it!”
“Watching ponies fight violently. What a nice way to educate kids.” Spike said sarcastically.
“I know, right?!” Scootaloo said excitedly. “It’s so awesome!”
“Why must we watch from all the way to the hillside?” Apple Bloom asked. “Haven’t we proven ourselves to handle ourselves?”
“Yeah, we handled ourselves in situations many times!” Sweetie Belle said.
“World Party II is much different from your average everyday situations.” The Doctor said. “This goes even beyond your sisters’ battles. Nightmare Moon? Discord? King Sombra? Queen Chrysalis? This is much more dangerous compared to all that! I mean I know this is a party, but lives were ruined in this party! This was a tragic event! The allies were lucky that they won, because the whole world eventually worked together against the enemy alliance. I really hope you little ones can understand what I’m saying.”
The CMCs all looked at eachother upsettingly. The Doctor then says
“You don’t believe me? I’ll show you!” the Doctor said. “The colonel said the allies are going to be counterattacking back at Oyster Harbor as well. They think the Partis are only attacking Oyster Harbor for their rare fur oyster pearls they have hidden under the floor boards in the tavern.”
“Fur oysters?” Spike asked. “Aren’t those creatures, like… dangerously endangered?”
“Very rare those pearls are, very expensive.” The Doctor said. “You see, it’s not just fun and parties these Parti soldiers want. Its wealth and power. That’s the main reason of war – wealth and power. Anyways, follow me, we’ll get a great view of the show! There will be snacks and everything!”
“Cheesecake?” I asked excitedly as we all headed out.
“Uh, sure.” The Doctor said.
“Yay! Cheesecake! Cheesy-cheese-cheesy, caker-waker woo!” I cheered.
After we all left, as we walked out, the heart locket that was in Scootaloo’s hair falls out and lands on the floor. The cloaked refugee picks it up and he chuckles to himself. “Pure gold! This will be worth a fortune!” he then puts the locket in his cloak pocket. “But you know what’s going to be worth more of a fortune? Those fur oyster pearls!” he chuckles again. “Never reveal too much with a stranger in the room, you dope!”
So we were on our way to the hills to watch the show, and as we looked around the camp, the soldiers were running around and getting ready for battle, but as we followed the Doctor, the CMCs were talking amongst themselves. “You know what?” Scootaloo asked her friends. “Why do we have to follow the Doctor’s instructions? He’s wrong! We can take care of ourselves!”
“Ah agree.” Apple Bloom said. “But what if he’s right? What if this is more dangerous than anything us or our sisters’ have ever done in the past?”
“What if he’s wrong?” Scootaloo asked. “Was he even in any of them?”
“He was during the changeling battle during the royal wedding, but that’s all we saw him at.” Sweetie Belle said.
“It’s the only one of those major battles we were in.” Apple Bloom reminded her.
“I know, but still! Rarity never mentioned anything about any familiar pony with them during any of their battles.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Exactly! So how does he know these battles were more intense than this one?” Scootaloo asked. “The way I see it, I think we have an opportuntity here! Let us be a part of World Party II and help save Equestria!”
“You sure that’s a good idea, Scootaloo?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Positive!” Scootaloo said.
“Well ah have no objections, and ah’m the smart one.” Apple Bloom said.
“Ok, Apple Bloom, we did say we didn’t mind you being smarter than us, but you don’t need to go on Diamond Tiara on us.” Sweetie Belle informed her.
“Then it’s settled! Let us help out our ancestor!” Scootaloo said excitedly.
“Hey we’re in. No problem!” I said.
“For sure!” Spike agreed.
“Wait… what about the Doctor?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Oh we taken care of him!” I said.
Up ahead, the Doctor found a cheesecake kiosk to check up on some cheesecake. “Mmm! Flare was right! Cheesecake is a good eatin’ for watching a war show! So many different and delicious choices; it’s uncanny!”
So the five of us ran over to the airship yard, hid from the other soldiers, and I led the CMCs and Spike to an airship so we can participate in battle. “An airship? Are you sure?” Scootaloo asked. “I wanna fight them face to face!”
“Did you know you’ll be flying while we’re in there, Scootaloo?” Spike reminded her.
Scootaloo then smiled and squeed. “SHOTGUN!” So we all ran inside the airship. It was actually pretty small, but the smaller it is, the faster it’ll go. I ran over to the pilot’s seat and started flipping my tongue as Scootaloo jumps over on the co-pilot’s seat and she says on the radio, “Shhfff. Air control, this is RD-0201, are we clear for lift off?”
While Scootaloo and I were messing around in the cockpit, Sweetie Belle, Spike, and Apple Bloom checked out the party guns on the side and the rear. “Wow! Cool cannons!” Spike said impressively.
“Hot sauce… bad for the eyes, they use it for ammo.” Sweetie Belle said.
“On that cannon, but this one they use pigeon poop.” Apple Bloom said.
“Those poor carriages.” Spike shakes his head. “Wonder how many victimized carriages they had to use to collect all this?”
“I know right?!” Sweetie Belle agreed. “You have no idea how mad my parents get at that!”
So, just as we were all having fun in the zeppelin, Sergeant Fly shows up to check in, even though he really doesn’t look in. “Alright, Sergeant Bark? Is your troops ready?”
“Roger that!” I shouted out.
“Alright, you’re clear for take off!” Sergeant Fly said as he walks off.
“Oh yeah, baby! We’re gonna actually being flying these flying things!” I said excitedly.
“Awesome!” Scootaloo yelled in excitement.
“Time to press random buttons until this plane does something!” I said as I started pressing random buttons. The lights started blinking in the zeppelin, the windows opened and closed and so did the door, and then the breather things that dropped from the ceiling, and then the floor flipped over and a hot tub shows up, and then a disco ball along with music starts playing, and all that random junk.
“Ah now this is MY kind of airship!” Spike said.
“HEY!” the Doctor yelled as he walked inside the airship.
“Oh Doctor! I thought… I thought you were getting cheesecake?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I did.” The Doctor said as he takes out some cheesecake. “I do. But you won’t be getting anyway since you all ran off from me AGAIN!”
“Hey! We were just checkin’ out this airship! We might as well learn about the technology used in World Party II before the big test!” Apple Bloom said.
“That maybe so, but you could’ve told me first!” the Doctor said.
“We didn’t think you would, since yer a square and all.” Apple Bloom said.
“HA HA HA!” Spike laughed.
“Ok… where’s Flare? Where is he? I want to give him a PIECE OF MY MIND!” the Doctor said angrily.
“You gave Donna Noble a piece of your mind, and now look at her!” I teased.
“FLARE! SCOOTALOO! Get away from those controls, right now!” the Doctor ordered.
“No.” I said.
“WHY NOT?!” the Doctor yelled.
“Well first off, this is SO COOL!” Scootaloo said excitedly.
“And second, because we’re already in the air on the way to battle.” I said as the mini-zeppelin we were in was already flying and joined up with the squadron.
“Of course you did.” The Doctor said as he glared at me. He walked over to the cockpit and said to me, “Move over, Flare. I’m driving. I had some flight experience.”
“So do I.” I said.
“Oh yeah? How?” the Doctor asked.
“I got us in the air.” I reminded him.
“No you didn’t! I did!” Scootaloo corrected me. “You were just pressing random buttons.”
“Well I guess I can trust Scootaloo to be my co-pilot. Flare, move!” the Doctor demanded.
“AAGH!” I yelled angrily as I moved over. “AAAHGGHGIGHHHGAEUH!”
“You don’t say? Interesting.” The Doctor commented as he takes over the pilot’s seat.
“Enemy airships and pegasi coming this way.” Scootaloo pointed out.
“Alright then. You all wanted to be a part of the battlefield, so you got it.” The Doctor said. “Flare take the dorsal turret, Spike take rear turret, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle take the side turrets. Take down all enemy blimps! Our lives may depend on it!”
“You got it!” Apple Bloom said as she and the rest of us run over to our positions.
I put on a parachute before I go to my position. “Why are you putting on a parachute?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Safety precaution.” I said.
“Incoming!” Scootaloo pointed out.
“Alriiiiight! Bring it on, animals!” Spike cried.
“You got it, man!” Eric Burdon said as he and his Animals started playing and singing. “We gotta get out of this place! If it’s the last thing we ever do!”
So we all started firing at the incoming enemy pegasi and fighters, and we were doing pretty well for ourselves. I knew all those video games would pay off! “WOO! This is so awesome!” Scootaloo yelled.
“Cut the chatter, Scootaloo! Stay focused!” the Doctor said.
“You got it, Baker!” Scootaloo said.
“Please, don’t call me that.” The Doctor instructed her.
“You’re my eyes, Baker!” Scootaloo said.
“Sweetie Belle! One’s flying over to your side!” Spike called out.
“Got it!” Sweetie Belle responded as she fires bird poop at the pegasus flying by.
“MY UNIFORM!” the Parti pegasus yelled as he faints and starts freefalling, but safely lands into the bushes down below. No, I know ponies can’t survive by freefalling from thousands of feet into bushes, but you know how physics works in Equestria. Spike and Sweetie Belle high-hoof.
“Flare, you’ve been awfully quiet! What’s goin’ on?” Apple Bloom called out.
“I don’t wanna say anything in case I miss something, and I don’t wanna do anything in case I do something.” I called out back. Just then some enemy pegasi started shooting cake frosting at my window, and I got angry. “Ooooh… oh I can’t shoot you but you can shoot me?! Alright, friends, no more mister nice pony!” I then started messing with my hair, messing it up and all that. “Cowlick mode engaged! Let’s do this!” Just then I shot down five enemy pegasi in a row, including the ones that made me upset. “AH HA! Take your cake guns, and ram ‘em UP YOUR BUTT!”
After a bunch of shooting and fighting, there were no more enemy blimps or pegasi. “We did it! We won!” Scootaloo yelled in excitement.
“No…” the Doctor started. “that was-“
“If you dare say that was just the first wave, I’ll murder your face!” I threatened him. “I’ll murder your face so hard!”
“Ok, I won’t.” the Doctor said. “Even though it is true.”
“Crud!” Sweetie Belle yelled in anger.
“Wow… nice tongue, Sweetie Belle.” Spike said sarcastically.
“Really? Thanks! I made it look just like Rarity’s for the occasion!” Sweetie Belle said as she stuck out her tongue and saw her tongue all sparkly and violet.
“Nice!” Apple Bloom said as she looked.
“Here they come!” the Doctor pointed out, and the second wave is now approaching with a bunch more pegasi and blimps than before.
“Hooooooly Wizard of Strength, we’re outnumbered!” I said.
“Well, we’re just going to have to try!” the Doctor said.
“Yeah, either that or die.” Spike said sarcastically.
“Ah don’t be such a snake in the grass, Spike. We can do this!” Apple Bloom said. So we started shooting at the enemies and the Doctor was bracing for impact, but as we were doing so, one of the wings on our tiny airship was shot.
“Engine One, down!” the Doctor yelled. “We need to cut the pressure from the wing!”
“I’ll do it!” Sweetie Belle yelled as she ran over to the valve that connects to the wing and cuts the pressure from it. “Done!”
“Good! But bad.” The Doctor said. “We don’t have as much strength in that wing. We have to be careful!”
I started messing with my hair again and I yelled, “GAAAAAME OOOOON! I really hope this isn’t how I die. I don’t want to die with messy hair.”
“Now you sound like Rarity!” Sweetie Belle said as she shot down some an enemy blimp. “Why is this so easy?”
“Don’t jinx it, Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo shouted. Just then, another airship starts shooting our ceiling, covering it with strawberry jam. The jam started to slowly poor down over the windows, making it harder to see.
“AAAH! BLOOD!” Sweetie Belle yelled.
“Oh don’t be so afraid of blood! It’s in your body!” Scootaloo said.
Spike takes his finger and takes some of the jam and puts it in his mouth. “That’s not blood. That’s strawberry jam!”
“WOW! We thought it was blood and you gave it a taste?” Apple Bloom asked. “What is wrong with you?!”
“I knew it wasn’t blood.” Spike said. “Know why?”
“No.” Apple Bloom said.
“Because what kind of party would have blood for an activity?” Spike asked.
“A very sick one, that’s for sure.” Scootaloo said. Just then, a few pegasi land on the top of our airship and they started drilling the back of it.
“What’s that noise?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“GIRLS! SPIKE! Get away from the back!” I yelled. I turned my turret around and started shooting the pegasi trying to drill the back. I was able to shoot them off. “This is intense! Someone take over this turret!” I got off the dorsal turret and started running over to the back. “I wanna take control of the rear one!”
“That’s my position!” Spike yelled. Just then, we heard a slight rumbling noise. It would appear the pegasi’s job was done. The whole back of the plane rips open, and I started getting sucked in, but I held on, I held on tight to the opening section that leads from this area to the middle area.
“WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!” I yelled. “WHOA, ok! Holy Wizard of Hope!”
“FLARE! Hold on!” Apple Bloom yelled.
“Thanks for the obvious information.” I said sarcastically.
“Oh c’mon! I’m supposed to be the sarcastic one!” Spike whined. He then takes out his claw and tries to grab hold of me. “Give me your hoof!”
“I can’t detach it, I’m sorry!” I said.
“No! Let me grab your hoof and I’ll pull you in!” Spike corrected me.
“Oh, that sounds better!” I said as I released one of my hooves and tried to pull up towards Spike’s claw and I grabbed on, or more like he grabbed on, but unlikely, I was too heavy and I pulled Spike down with me.
“WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!” Spike cried. “WHOA, ok! Holy royal sisters!”
“I’m having a hard time keeping her together!” the Doctor shouted.
“Are you teasing about my weight?!” I yelled insultingly. “How dare you?! I’m only in the low 100s! I mean that’s heavy compared to the normal pony, but if I was a regular horse, I’m too skinny.” Just then, uh oh, woopsy! I let go of the plane and Spike and I started freefalling.
“FLARE! SPIKE!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both yelled.
“WHAT?!” Scootaloo yelled. “NO!”
“I… I don’t believe this.” Sweetie Belle whimpered a bit. “Flare and Spike, they’re… they’re….”
“Ooooh, Twilight’s goin’ to be so upset about Spike!” Apple Bloom whimpered as well.
“Crèmepop and Water are going to be the same way with Flare!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Especially Crèmepop! She’s goin’ to go on a rampage!” Apple Bloom said. Just then, the Doctor started to laugh.
“Oh I’m sorry, Doctor. We don’t see what’s so funny about this!” Sweetie Belle said angrily.
“Yeah, Doctor, enlighten us.” Apple Bloom agreed.
“Relax! Relax! They should be fine!” the Doctor said.
“HOW?!” Scootaloo yelled. “Flare and Spike are plummeting down to Earth, and here you are LAUGHING AT IT!”
“I guess I’m a bad pony.” The Doctor said.
“You GUESS?!” the CMCs all yelled.
“Do you girls just want to keep arguing about this, or do you wanna live? We lost our back, and we’re losing control!” the Doctor reminded them. They all began screaming as the airship began to twirl out of control. “We need to get outta here!”
“I found something that might help!” Apple Bloom said as she was holding something useful.
“A RAFT?!” Sweetie Belle cried as she yelled in a high-pitched voice. “But we’re not sinking! We’re crashing!” The airship was about to hit a mountain nearby. Epic music started playing as they all jumped off the plane on the raft and started falling as the airship crashes and explodes when it hits the mountain. The CMCs and the Doctor with the raft safely, but harshly, landed in a river down below and were riding out of control and even went down a little waterfall, until eventually they slow down and make it back to dry land, into a forest area, all exhausted and such.
“You know what?” Scootaloo said. “Maybe flying isn’t all that it’s cut out to be.”
“You don’t really mean that, do you, Scootaloo?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Of course not! That was awesome!” Scootaloo yelled in excitement.
“UGH! Not to me!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well at least we’re ok, that’s all that matters.” The Doctor said.
“Yeah, sure, KEEP TALKING DOCTOR!” Scootaloo yelled angrily at him.
“What?!” the Doctor complained.
“You say we’re ok, but Spike and Flare fell out of the plane and they’re now gone!” Scootaloo yelled as she started to get teary eyed. “This is all your fault, Doctor!”
“Uhh, MY FAULT?!” the Doctor yelled.
“Yeah!” Scootaloo said.
“I’m not the one that disobeyed me!” the Doctor reminded her. “I’m not the one that ran off and jumped onto a fighter and started fighting in a dangerous aerial battle! I had everything planned to complete your studies! We were going to watch the battle safely from a hillside, but nooooo! You wanted to be a part of a deadly battle, and now we’re missing Flare and Spike from our group! This never would’ve happened if you would’ve listened to me!”
The CMCs were shocked and then they started to feel bad. “Doctor, you’re… you’re right!” Apple Bloom said as she started to tear up. “We didn’t listen to you. We wanted to go out and be a part of it all, and now we’re paying the price.”
“Poor Spike… poor Flare… poor Spike.” Sweetie Belle said sadly.
“You said poor Spike twice.” Apple Bloom reminded her.
Sweetie Belle then blushed. “Uhh… no I didn’t.”
“Hey! Who’s that?” Scootaloo pointed.
“Quiet, Scoots! We’re trying to sorrow our loss! It’s more important than anything else!” Sweetie Belle said.
“No I mean that cloaked figure.” Scootaloo said.
“Hey! That looks like the same cloaked figure that was with us back at the triage camp. HEY YOU!” Apple Bloom called out. The cloaked figure started running off.
“Nice, you scared them off.” Scootaloo said.
“Let’s follow them!” Apple Bloom suggested as she was about to run, but then she stopped and looked over at the Doctor. “Unless you don’t want us to.”
“Actually, I agree. He seems suspicious, just like me. Let’s get ‘em!” the Doctor said. The crusaders all cheered as they all started chasing the cloaked figure. Wow, they forgot about Spike and me already. That was quick… a little too quick.
So they chased the figure through the woods they were in until the figure jumped into a tree barrow, thinking he or she would be able to lose the Doctor and them in the process. Even though it fooled most of them, it didn’t fool one of them. “Where did he go? He was just here!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Is he a unicorn?” Scootaloo asked. She then gasped and asked, “Is it Starswirl the Bearded?!”
“No, definitely not.” The Doctor said. “Starswirl was in Old Canterlot at this time. He didn’t participate in the party until P-Day.”
“He went inside this tree barrow. Ah saw him.” Apple Bloom pointed.
“Are you sure?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Ah’m sure.” Apple Bloom said.
“It’s worth a try.” The Doctor said. So the four of them all crawled under the tree and into the barrow. It was pretty filthy and tight in there as the fillies crawled in as the Doctor peeked in and followed along. Oh yeah there was also a spider in there that made some of them uncomfortable, and a snake too, and a clown, so there was pretty much every common scary thing under that tree. After they crawled through there seemed to be inside a hidden underground chamber and that barrow was mainly a passageway. Inside the chamber, there was a lot of gold objects and expensive clothing, and a chest full of bits.
“What is this place?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Did we discover some hidden treasure?” Scootaloo asked. “This would make an epic Daring Do story!”
The Doctor observes the gold and everything in the chamber and began to think. “Hmm…”
“What’s up, Doctor?” Apple Bloom asked.
“This isn’t just hidden treasure, Apple Bloom.” The Doctor said.
“Then what is it?” Apple Bloom asked.
“All this stuff is stolen merchandise and money.” The Doctor said.
“Stolen merchandise? How?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“During chaotic times, whether it’s a war or some catastrophic significant, it gives thieves a reason to break laws and start stealing from other ponies.” The Doctor explained. “While everypony is running to the hills, and the coppers are taking care of the more major threat, thieves think they could get away from stealing, and half of the time, they do.”
“Gosh… who could’ve done such a thing?” Scootaloo asked as she looked around. Just then, she spots something familiar on top of a stolen couch. “Is that… my Rainbow Dash locket?” She picks it up and takes a look inside. “It is! It is my Rainbow Dash locket! This pony stole it from me!”
“Wait a minute. Flare thought he dropped his wallet earlier today back at Oyster Harbor.” Apple Bloom said. “He didn’t actually drop it! That pony that was there tried to steal it!”
“So that cloaked pony isn’t actually a refugee! He’s a thief!” Scootaloo said.
“Very clever, young ponies. Very clever indeed!” the cloaked pony clapped his hooves. “So you found my secret chamber, which means…” just then, he pulls a lever and blocks the exit with a giant bolder. “I can’t let you escape.”
“You thief! You stole my locket! How could you do that?!” Scootaloo yelled.
“Just to let you know, Scootaloo, you didn’t know it was stolen until you found it.” Sweetie Belle reminded her.
“Whatever.” The cloaked pony said. “I’ll deal with you later. For now, I have to head back in town to complete a heist. You stay here. Also, close your eyes for a minute.”
“Why?” Scootaloo asked.
“Just do it, love!” the cloaked pony yelled. I swear though, his voice sounded familiar to me. Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t there. Well I did hear his voice before. So they all covered their eyes.
“Good. I’ll be back.” The cloaked pony said as he pulled a secret statue said and a secret passive opened, and then he walked through, and right before it closed, he yelled, “Ok you can open now.” So they did.
“Well that’s a spot of luck there. We are trapped.” The Doctor said.
“You know, Doctor, Flare said you were much more useful than you are now.” Apple Bloom said.
“He said that? I’m not useful right now?” the Doctor asked.
“No he said you’re usually more useful, and we think yer not now.” Apple Bloom corrected him.
“I’m not… I’m not going to say it anymore, Apple Bloom.” Scootaloo facehooved herself with an attitude.
“So we’re trapped now, huh?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Unless any of you has a plan.” The Doctor said.
“What about you? Do you have a plan?” Scootaloo asked.
“Oh, you said I’m not useful, so forget it. This one’s on you.” The Doctor said.
“UGH!” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom both groaned as Sweetie Belle started walking.
“Ok, look, we’re sorry! Alright, Doctor?” Scootaloo asked.
“See that Scootaloo? Yer bein’ me right now.” Apple Bloom pointed out.
“Huh? Oh… darn it.” Scootaloo said defeatedly.
“Hehehe!” Apple Bloom chuckled mischievously. “Ah am good.”
“I wonder why we don’t act this mischievous towards Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon?” Scootaloo asked.
Just then, the three of them start hearing a secret passive open as Sweetie Belle pushes a statue lever. “C’mon, let’s go!” she called out.
“Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo said curiously. “H-how did…”
“I didn’t REALLY cover my eyes.” Sweetie Belle said. “Well I did, but I peeked out. I kinda cheated!”
“Good work, Sweetie Belle!” the Doctor said excitedly.
“See? Ah wouldn’t call mahself the smart one! The intelligence was in y’all long!” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah… I guess it is!” Scootaloo said.
“You are the most brilliant pony children I’ve ever met!” the Doctor said.
“Really?” Apple Bloom asked.
“You really know how to get out of a tight situation!” the Doctor said. “Now, c’mon! Let’s go catch that criminal! Allons-y!” So they all escaped the underground lair, and Scootaloo now has the locket back in her possession. Once they got out from the secret passage way, which the exit was under a stump that opened up, they began to look for the thief.
“See anything?” Apple Bloom asked.
“We didn’t even start looking yet.” Scootaloo corrected her.
“I see lots of trees.” A voice whispered. “Lots and lots of trees.”
“Did you say something, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo asked.
“No.” Apple Bloom said.
“Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked.
“That didn’t even sound like me.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Achoo!” a sneeze echoed as leaves fell from the trees up above.
“Blesh you.” A voice said.
“Thanks.” Another voice said.
“Wait a minute, those voices sound strangely familiar.” Apple Bloom said.
“FLARE AND SPIKE!” the crusaders yelled.
“Sup sistas?” I asked from behind tree branches.
“Where are you?” Apple Bloom called out.
“We’re spirits talking to you from the trees.” Spike said.
“Yeah, we’re dead and stuff.” I said.
“You are?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Yeah. We fell from the plane and plummeted to our deaths.” I said. “We started off getting pulled down to Earth by a gravitational pull and then – queck!” I made a squishing sound. “Splat! Right into concrete blocks!” Apple Bloom started to make a glare as she walked over to a tree and turned her back on it.
“Yeah there was blood everywhere.” Spike said. “There was so much guts and gore that a donating place would have a field day getting-“ Apple Bloom then bucks a tree with her hind-leg and then Spike and I fall from the top of the tree and landed on the ground in front of them, alive, but in pain. More like I landed on the ground and Spike landed on me.
“Ow!” I yelled.
“That didn’t hurt me.” Spike said. “Thanks for breaking my fall, Flare!”
“Thanks for breaking my back!” I said sarcastically. The crusaders all then ran over to us excitedly and gave us a hug.
“We’re so glad you’re ok!” Apple Bloom said excitedly.
“Yeah we thought we lost you!” Sweetie Belle said.
“You did, then you found us!” Spike said.
“B-but how did you survive?” Scootaloo asked.
“You fillies don’t listen do you?” I asked.
Let’s flashback back to right before the air battle. I put on a parachute before I go to my position. “Why are you putting on a parachute?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Safety precaution.” I said. The flashback ends there. Does that count as a cutaway gag though? I wasn’t trying to do them in this chapter.
“Ooooooh! I remember!” Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah, Flare put on a parachute right before he got in position!”
“But that doesn’t explain how Spike survived.” Scootaloo said.
“I’m a dragon! I can fly!” Spike said.
“I grabbed him.” I said.
“NO YOU DID- Oh nice, ruin the moment for me.” Spike complained.
“So after we parachuted down, we got stuck on that tree up above.” I pointed up. “Somehow, you just bucking the tree freed us.”
“And nothing else happened.” Spike said.
“Spike then licked me just to see what pony tastes like.” I said.
“I don’t wanna talk about that.” Spike said embarrassingly.
“Hey you wondered.” I reminded him.
“Well good to have you back, Flare!” the Doctor said.
“Hey! Don’t think you’re off the hook, Doctor! You still laughed after they fell out of the plane!” Scootaloo reminded him.
“HE DID?!” I asked insultingly.
“Wooooow!” Spike said.
“No! Isn’t it obvious? He knew all along!” Apple Bloom said.
“Of course I knew! I saw him put the parachute on. I was sure he’d be alright!” the Doctor said.
“What if the parachute failed, hmm?” I asked him. “What do you have to say about that?”
“But it didn’t!” the Doctor said.
“What if it did?” I asked him again.
“Who cares what would’ve happened? It didn’t.” the Doctor said with a smile.
“Wow, he’s good.” I said.
“I’ll say!” Spike agreed.
“Now c’mon! We need to catch a thief!” the Doctor said.
“A thief?” Spike asked.
“That cloaked refugee that was with us back in town and at camp?” Sweetie Belle started. “Well… it turns out he was a thief.”
“Well that explains why my wallet fell out of my front pocket.” I said.
“I thought you said you put it in your back vest pocket?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Pffft! You really took me serious? There’s no such thing as a back vest pocket! C’mooooon! You fillies are so gullible!” I laughed. “I mean not as gullible as Spike here, but hey.”
“HEY!” Spike yelled.
“C’mon! We have no time for this! We should try to catch this thief, and perhaps while we’re at it… we’ll get to see the Battle of Oyster Harbor personally!” the Doctor said.
“You don’t mean…” Scootaloo said shockingly.
“Oh I mean!” the Doctor nodded. “Time to finish studying for that test!”
“Oh right the test, I forgot about that!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well now you remember! LET’S DO THIS!” Scootaloo yelled in excitement. So we all headed back to Oyster Harbor. It was a bit of a more ruined state than before, but there was still quite a few buildings standing, even though it was a mess in most of them. I’m sorry that I sound tired right now, I’m used to making 10,000 word chapters, not 20. It’s quite exhausting. Don’t worry, I’m almost done.
“Remember: I’m letting us have a closer look, but keep your heads down. Alright?” the Doctor whispered to the crusaders.
“Of course!” Apple Bloom whispered back.
“Couldn’t have it any other way!” Sweetie Belle whispered.
“Yeah… sure.” Scootaloo said sarcastically.
“PARTI SOLDIERS INCOMING!” one of the soldiers yelled. “Is the town completely evacuated yet?”
“No wait, I see a few. HEY YOU!” Machine yelled over to us.
“Who me?” I asked.
“Yeah you!” Machine said.
“Couldn’t be!” I said.
“What?” Machine asked.
“I don’t think that song was invented yet at this time.” The Doctor assumed.
“Wait a minute! You again?” Blaze asked. “I thought we took you to the camp?! What are you doing back here?!”
“We flew, then we crashed.” Scootaloo explained. “And then we went through a river and through the woods, then a secret underground lair full of stolen items, and we’re back here again.”
“Came full circle, didn’t it?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Wait… stolen items?” Weed asked.
“Yeah, we’re trying to catch a thief. Some refugee in a dirty cloak that was with us.” Sweetie Belle explained. “That cloak! Man, and Rarity thought AppleJack was bad when it comes to fashion!”
“HEY!” Apple Bloom yelled.
“Ah yes, the legendary war thief.” Blaze nodded. “He goes around land to land trying to steal war victimized items and selling them in the black market.”
“There’s something I don’t get about the black market.” I said. “How does it get so much money for selling millions of bits worth of stuff?”
“Well we’re not worried about thieves right now.” Weed said. “We’re here to defend the town against the Partis. We can’t worry about thieves right now.”
“He’s right. We have bigger fish to fry.” Blaze said.
“Whaaaaaaa?!” Machine and I both screeched.
“Goldheart! You know Machine doesn’t like it when you talk about fish like that!” Weed yelled at him.
“I KNOW! I hate that it when ponies use quotes like that!” I yelled.
“Dude, I like this pony!” Machine said as he pointed at me. “I like his style!”
“Ditto, brah! Ditto!” I agreed. “I like my style too!”
“Anyways, since the six of you aren’t going to stay away from the battle, you might as well fight alongside us.” Blaze said. “We’re expecting a Parti counterattack.”
“So what’s the plan?” Machine asked.
“I got one!” I said.
“Let’s hear it!” Machine listened.
“Yeah I think you’d regret that decision.” The Doctor said.
“What’s your plan?” Machine asked.
“Why don’t we take Oyster Harbor and push it somewhere else?” I suggested. “I mean, shouldn’t there be a magic spell Starswirl knows that moves whole cities?”
“You know… that’s… not actually a bad idea.” Weed admitted. “I mean we can’t do anything about that right now. Starswirl is busy in Canterlot, but I like that idea. I like it very much!”
“Yeah, sounds really good if only we could do something like that.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Who says we can’t?” I asked mischievously and nodded as epic montague music began to play. The crusaders and Spike both smiled and nodded along.
“No we can’t.” Blaze said.
“Oh.” I said upsettingly.
“Yeah that’s unfortunate. That sounded like a good idea.” Machine said.
“Hey you did say I had good ideas a few years later!” I said.
“I did?” Machine asked. “I don’t remember.”
“Yeah that’s a Gun trait.” I mumbled.
“So what’s the real plan?” Scootaloo asked.
“We’re planning an ambush. Take a look at this.” Weed takes out a map and shows it to us. “We’re setting up an ambush over here at this street. It’s surrounded by buildings and only two ways out – front and back. We’re going to be attacking from both directions, and surround them. They’re bringing in heavy armor through in a convoy fashion. We’re going to bring in heavy armor from both directions so they won’t stand a chance. They’re goin’ to have to be real clever to get the jump on us.”
“I’m not sure why we’re showing civilians our plans. What if they’re spies of the enemies?” Blaze asked.
“Because I have a good feeling about them, and I’m lucky of my gut feeling.” Weed said.
“Gut feelings aren’t everything, Weed.” Blaze said.
“Now then, we don’t want to get in trouble, so stay out of sight. Pretend you’re not a part in the battle and you just wandered in while trying to escape.” Machine instructed us.
“You want us to lie to them?” Apple Bloom asked. “Lying is wrong, private.”
“Yeah but this lie is good. It’ll stop us from getting in trouble.” Machine said.
“Wouldn’t it just be easier to not have them part of the battle?” Blaze asked.
“I agree.” The Doctor said.
“Still worried about our safety, huh Doctor?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well it’s not so much of your safety this time, more of... I’ll explain later.” The Doctor said.
“But we wanna help!” Apple Bloom whined.
“Yeah! We’re here, so can’t we do something?” Sweetie Belle whined.
“Well if you really want to help, how about defending the bar against the Partis in case they decide to steal our… you know… cider?” Machine suggested.
“You mean the fur oyster pearls?” Spike asked.
“D’OH! Who told you that?!” Machine yelled.
“Never underestimate a dragon!” Spike said.
“Well since you know, you might as well defend it.” Machine said.
“Yeah. Perhaps you’ll do a better job than us.” Weed said.
“What do you mean by that?” Apple Bloom asked.
“This is our first time going into an actual battle!” Weed explained. “Us Buck Privates are never allowed in a real battle, because everypony else thinks we’re not ‘experienced enough’. It’s those corporals that thought that! They think we’re too weak! Too weak to fight! We handle cleanup detail!”
“Maybe they care about your lives?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“HA!” Weed laughed. “They used us for target practice! Stained our uniforms big time! They say they accidently shoot us when we actually know better. They’re there to humiliate us!”
“Well, how about you show ‘em who’s boss?” Scootaloo suggested.
“Well, let’s not forget. They ARE our superiors.” Blaze said.
“Who cares? What do you care about more? Your career which you get a lot of money from, or your dignity which you probably don’t have much left anyway and you have the possibility of having your rank stripped?” Scootaloo asked.
“Our rank?! HA!” Weed laughed. “Yeah, what is there left to strip? Our rank is completely naked!”
“Hey, I get what she’s saying.” Machine said. “I mean the worse that would happen is that they punish us for violating a direct order… BUT… there’s a ‘but’ there.”
“I love ‘buts’!” I said.
“But if we can prove to them that we CAN handle ourselves, perhaps they’ll reward us! They’ll give us the rank we so rightfully deserve – Private! Hey, if we’re lucky, maybe Private First Class!” Machine said excitedly.
“Whoa, let’s not go too far, buddy.” Blaze stopped him.
“Hey, a fella can dream, can he?” Machine asked.
“You’re right, man. You’re right.” Blaze nodded. “We shouldn’t let the corporals push us around like this! Let’s show them that we CAN handle ourselves in the battlefield, and show them WE mean business!”
“YEAH!” Weed and Machine both cheered.
“Even though we’re probably not gonna get paid for this!” Machine cheered.
“Who cares?! Our dignity is important!” Weed yelled in excitement. “Let’s go show ‘em what we’re made of!” So the three of them started marching into battle, leaving us here alone to fend for ourselves.
“They could’ve given us something to defend ourselves with.” Spike complained. “Leaving unarmed civilians in a warzone? I can see how they’re buck privates.”
So the six of us started to wander around the town until we eventually found the tavern again, and it was still standing. It was a wee bit damaged though, but still standing. Also when I said ‘wee’ in the last sentence, I said it in a squeaky voice. Weeeeeee! Remember that one Geico commercial? Pretty old though. Not as old as the money eyes, might I add.
“So who wants something to drink?” I asked.
“Ah yes, the victimized buildings of war.” The Doctor shook his head. “All abandoned, and all damaged… and there’s always that one last bottle of cider from those who were yet to be captured. All alone… all abandoned… all afraid.”
“Ok, Doc, settle down. There are fillies here.” Spike reminded him.
“We can handle ourselves, buddy.” Scootaloo said.
Just then, we heard a noise coming from inside the tavern. “I hear something.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Probably Parti soldiers wantin’ to steal some of those rare oysters.” Apple Bloom assumed.
“You crusaders thinking what I’m thinking?” Scootaloo asked.
“Oh I think I am! Apple Bloom?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Ah sure am!” Apple Bloom nodded.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PARTI POOPERS!” the crusaders cried.
I started chuckling. “They said poop… and mark!”
“I urge you caution though. We don’t know how strong these parti ponies are.” The Doctor reminded them.
“Don’t worry, Doctor! We can do this!” Scootaloo insisted. “There is nothing they can throw at us that we will not defeat!”
“You say that now though.” Apple Bloom said.
“If you’re sure.” The Doctor smiled. “But you better know what you’re doing. Peek before you go in, and don’t be too impatient.”
“You got it, Doctor!” Scootaloo saluted.
“We won’t let you down, Doctor!” Apple Bloom saluted.
“Good night, Doctor!” Sweetie Belle saluted. “Oh woops… guess that was a habit.”
Just then, the crusaders peeked in to see what kind of Parti soldiers were inside the tavern, but there were no Parti soldiers in there. “Hey! That’s not a Parti soldier!” Apple Bloom whispered.
“That’s the cloaked thief!” Sweetie Belle whispered.
“I can hear you, you know.” The thief said as he was trying to break the floor boards. “I heard you from all the way outside. You’re not foolin’ anypony, loves.”
“Stop right there, thief!” Scootaloo called out.
“I ain’t goin’ anywhere. Not without these pearls!” the thief said.
“How did you know about the pearls anyway?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I was in that tent while you were talking about it.” the thief reminded them. “I’m a real good fake sleeper, y’know?”
“Doctor!” Apple Bloom complained as all three of the crusaders glared at him.
“I guess it slipped passed my mind! I’m still trying to get used to having a pony mind! It’s so different from a Time Lord mind!” the Doctor said. “It takes decades the process and I’ve only been in Equestria for four years!”
“Wait… the Doctor was another species?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“AH HA! Got it opened!” the thief cheered as he opened the floor boards. “This is it! The fur pearls! They look much… uglier than I predicted.” The pearls were actually just big brown fur balls. “Oh well, it doesn’t matter. If they were hidden this well, they must be still worth a lot. Shinny, or not. I just hope these things don’t have lice in them.”
“Don’t take those! They’re family heirlooms!” the bartender begged.
“HA! Sorry, lady! It’s survival with the fittest in these circumstances!” the thief taunted.
Just then a lamp gets broken on top of the thief’s head and he collapses on the ground and passes out. “Next time – don’t turn your back.” Apple Bloom taunted him.
“WOO! We got him! We got the war thief!” Sweetie Belle cheered.
“I must say, I am very impressed with your actions! All of you!” the Doctor said. “It all started with studying for a test, now look at you!”
“Well we do what we can, Doctor.” Apple Bloom said. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We’re not just here to study for a test! We’re here to save the day!”
“Wait a minute though, are we supposed to catch this thief?” Spike asked. “Wouldn’t that change history?”
“Depends on who the thief is.” Sweetie Belle said as she removes the thief’s hood, revealing his familiar looking face.
“HEY! That thief looks a lot like Blueberry Jam!” I pointed out.
“Who?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Blueberry Jam! Jerry Jam’s ancestor!” I said.
“Wow… looks like you did get to meet Jerry’s ancestor after all!” Apple Bloom said.
“I know!” I said. “But Blueberry Jam is a thief? Who knew? I mean it’s a strange coincidence that Jerry used to be a thief. Looks like Blueberry here shares the same story. After he gets arrested, he reforms, and when he gets released, he’ll be in the land where Mareami is now and beat Weed and Machine to it.”
“If you say so, Flare.” Spike said.
“Wow… fascinating!” the Doctor said. “And I must say, you girls did a brilliant job!”
“I don’t know why you’re congratulating us. We disobeyed you ever since we got here.” Scootaloo reminded him.
“You did.” The Doctor nodded. “And I’m glad you did!”
“Huh?” the crusaders all gasped.
“What do you mean?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I was the same way when I was your age! Even older than that.” the Doctor said. “I disobeyed my superiors all the time. You may think I’m a genius, but compared to other Time Lords – I’m a bloody idiot!”
“You were?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Of course! I wouldn’t be here now if I didn’t! I saved many worlds just by disobeying my leaders.” The Doctor said.
“So… you’re saying… disobeying is good?” Scootaloo asked.
“Oh no, dear child. It’s bad, very bad.” The Doctor said. “But you know what? If you actually feel that you’re doing something right by disobeying your orders, if you’re really careful and you really know what you’re doing, and know the risks of it, then you might be doing some good just by doing it! I know it’s very complicated and your parents told you-“ Apple Bloom started to whimper. “Uhh, I mean… you know… some of your… loved ones. Your guardians. They told you disobeying is wrong, but… even though they’re smart and know what they’re doing, just stop and think for a minute. Are they right?”
“So… if I feel that I’m doing good, I can disobey Rarity?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Well I’m not saying you should.” The Doctor corrected her. “I’m just saying… if you guarantee to be doing good, GUAR-EN-TEE, then there might be an exception. You girls need to know though that there are consequences, and risks. You made a lot of risks during this trip, but you kept your heads. That’s the most important thing – keep your heads, and stay focused. Maybe that’s all you need to pass this test!”
“All this just for a test?!” the bartender cried. “You make tests a bad name, stranger! I’m going to tell my kids that tests are bad news! Too dangerous! Get out of my tavern!”
“Hey, LADY! We just rescued your treasures for you!” I reminded her. “Why don’t you be grateful and all that?!”
“Why do you ponies keep calling me ‘lady’? Don’t call me that!” the bartender demanded.
“RAH!” I yelled at her.
“C’mon… let’s just go.” The Doctor suggested.
So we headed outside and were on our way back to the TARDIS, but on the way there, a couple of Parti soldiers get shot by mustard collapse on the ground. “Whoa!” Scootaloo gasped.
“See that?! See that?!” Machine yelled. “We’re warriors! We’re heroes! We’re Privates!”
“Pfft! Big deal!” one of the corporals didn’t care.
“Yeah, anypony could do that!” another corporal said.
“Alright, forget this.” Weed said as he shoots the corporals. “Go ahead! Expel us! That was SO worth it!” Up ahead, Colonel Binky Plug starts slow clapping his hooves.
“Well done, buck privates. Well done.” He said. “You learned how to take these like stallions and stand up for yourselves.”
“Huh?” Blaze asked.
“You think these corporals could get away from bullying you all the time?” the colonel asked. “I asked them to do it. It takes discipline to learn how to fend for yourselves.”
“WOO!” Machine cheered. “I have no idea what’s going on right now!”
“Congratulations, you three!” the colonel said as he gave them medals. “You are now Private First Classes! Welcome to the unit!”
“Wow! Private First Classes!” Blaze said excitedly as he accepted the medal. “Never knew I’d make it this far! Thank you, colonel!”
“Any time, men!” the colonel salutes them, and the three newly formed Private First Classes salute back.
“HA! And you told me not to dream big!” Machine teased his friends.
“Hey, anything’s possible at wartimes.” Weed said. “We didn’t think we’d make it this far, and now look at us! We’re one with the unit! Now more corporal problems! No more cleaning up the mess! We’re in the front lines now!”
“Hey, First Classes?” one of the corporals asked as they all tossed them their weapons. “Clean our weapons. You may be part of our unit, but you still have responsibilities!”
“Ugh! Fine!” Blaze groaned.
“And our grenades.” One of the corporals added as they gave them their grenades. “And our… tank.” The tank gets tossed right on top of Blaze.
“AAGH!” Blaze struggled. “The things I do to get promoted!” Just then, I took out my mustard gun and shot one of the corporals. The corporal looks down and sees the stain on his shirt.
“TRAITOR!” the corporal cried.
“Nope! Standing up for myself!” Machine corrected him.
“FORGET THAT! This was a 20 bit shirt, which is worth a lot at this time! TRAITORS!” the corporal yelled. The corporals all started chanting traitors and looked like they were about to attack the three.
“Way to go, Machine!” Weed complained.
“Things don’t make sense to me anymore!” Machine yelled as the three of them ran away and the corporals started chasing them. The three were running across town trying to get away from the corporals, and we couldn’t just leave them, so the CMCs, me, Spike, and the Doctor were wearing disguises as we signaled the three soldiers to come to us and hide behind us. They did so, and when the corporals came, they ran to us and asked us where they were, and we pointed to the opposite direction and they ran that way. Typical Scooby Doo humor, huh?
“Are they gone?” Machine asked.
“No they’re still running.” I teased.
“Don’t lie to them, Flare!” Apple Bloom instructed me. “Go ahead, guys. They’re gone.”
“Woo! Thanks girls!” Blaze said.
“Don’t mention it, Private Goldheart!” Scootaloo said. “Anything for the ancestor of my idol’s husband!”
“Yeah, well, I’m just going to ignore that little thing and just say, it’s Private First Class, not Private.” Blaze corrected her.
“We called you privates when you buck and you didn’t seem to complain about that.” Spike reminded them.
“Yeah, well, it’s compliment being called a higher rank and instead of a lesser one.” Blaze said.
“But let me be the first to say how truly grateful we are for all you six have done for us.” Machine said. “You taught us to stand up for ourselves, and that if you disobey certain orders, if you’re careful, then you-“
“Yeah we… got through that already.” Scootaloo interrupted.
“Oh.” Machine said. “Well, regardless, you all did amazing! I am proud of you! You’re going to grow to be fine soldiers, I’m pretty sure!”
“WOO!” Scootaloo cheered.
“Meh.” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both shrugged.
“Well… this has been fun and all, but we have a new mission on our plates.” Weed said.
“Oh yeah?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yeah.” Weed said. “What remains of the Parti soldiers here in Equestria have either been captured or they fled. We have won this battle, and it turns out they weren’t after the oyster pearls after all.”
“Then why did they attack?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Eh- I dunno.” Weed shrugged.
“So now we must get ready to take the battle to the Parti homeland and end this party once and for all!” Blaze said. “We must get ready for… P-Day.”
“Well good luck with that!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Yeah, I’m sure you guys will do great!” Scootaloo said.
“You guys will become Colonels and legends in no time!” Spike said.
“You really think so?” Blaze asked.
“I know so!” Spike nodded.
“I’m sure we’ll meet you again in the future sometime.” I said to them. “Even though we may not remember you, and we might bring some purple alicorn with us and not these three fillies.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing you again!” Machine said.
“As of I!” Weed agreed. “You’ve been very helpful to us! It’ll be nice if you helped us again in the future!”
“Not that we’re forcing you to, of course!” Machine said.
“Well we should thank you too! You helped us learn a lot!” Apple Bloom said. “So this is like a two-way assistance.”
Blaze chuckled. “I guess it is!”
“Anyways, we have to head back to base before they miss us.” Weed said. “I’m sure the corporals won’t be a problem in the briefing room so we should be fine. Anyways! See you all around!”
“Thanks for everything!” Blaze said.
“See you around!” Machine said as he saluted. “This is Private First Class Machine Tony Salvatore Joey Luigi Gun, signing off!”
“Goodbye, my friend!” I said. So we said our goodbyes and they headed off.
“At this point, I don’t think we’re going to be going back any further than this.” Spike said. “I think this is as far as we go.”
“It would appear so.” The Doctor nodded. “No more time travelling back to the Disharmony Era. We’re done.”
“I’m going to miss those guys.” I said upsettingly. “I mean I always felt Machine Gun to be family to me. Parting from him, well… it… it doesn’t seem right.”
“We must move on sometimes, Flare.” Apple Bloom said, trying to comfort me as she places her hoof my Blessings of the Night, as well as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle doing it too. “By the looks of what you guys said, he’s going to have a great future, and he’ll live a great life. He’d want you to live a great life too. That’s why we must move on.”
“Wow, Apple Bloom!” Sweetie Belle said impressively. “That was pretty smart.”
“Yeah! Glad to have you on board with us!” Scootaloo agreed. Apple Bloom blushed a bit.
“Alright, if we had enough of this snoopy-snoozy garbage, I think it’s time to go home.” Spike said.
“Yep! We have a test to pass!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly.
“Allons-y then!” the Doctor said. So we all returned to the TARDIS and time travelled our way through time and space, and we returned our tuchuses back to present-day Ponyville.
When we got out of the TARDIS, Scootaloo smelled the air and said, “Ah! Fresh present-day Ponyville air! No more burning ash of cake frosting melting through buildings!”
“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“And we learned a lot from it!” Apple Bloom said.
“Well I’m glad you all enjoyed yourselves!” the Doctor said. “I’m really glad I got to know you girls! You really remind me of myself when I was younger. It really gave me flashbacks. The good kind, not the bad.”
“Well I’m glad I got to come along!” I said.
“Ditto!” Spike agreed.
“Now if you, my friends, if you excuse me,” I said as I took out a shovel, “I have a novelty telescope worth a lot of money now to find! Spike?”
“Let’s do it!” he agreed as he and I walked away. “They didn’t tell us where it is though.”
“Meh, Twilight may have a book or something about that.” I said right before we were out of range.
“Thanks for helping us out, Doctor!” Sweetie Belle said as she hugged the Doctor.
The Doctor started chuckling awkwardly. “Yes, yes… indeed. Heh! Umm… ok… umm… alright, that’s enough.”
“Why do you feel so cold?” Sweetie Belle asked as she continued hugging him.
“Ehh, nevermind that. Good luck on your tests!” the Doctor said as he returned inside the TARDIS.
“Bye, Doctor!” the crusaders all said as his TARDIS suddenly disappears.
“We should meet AppleJack at the museum so she wouldn’t be suspicious.” Sweetie Belle suggested.
“Good call!” Apple Bloom agreed. “After that, are you girls ready for the test?”
“You know what? I’ll say this since neither of us did at all on this adventure.” Scootaloo offered. “MAYBE WE SHOULD GET OUR CUTIE MARKS IN TIME TRAVEL!”
“Oh grow up, Scootaloo. Who’d want a cutie mark in time travel?” Sweetie Belle asked.
The next day came, and when the crusaders got to class, Cheerilee eventually came in and said, “Good morning class! I hope you had good sleep, because today I want us to take a field trip over at Oyster Harbor! We’re going to learn about World Party II at the source!” The whole class cheered.
“Wait a minute, what about the test?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Yeah, don’t we have a test to do that’s worth, like, a lot of our grade?” Scootaloo asked. The whole class suddenly gasped.
“GIRLS! How many times do I have to say it?” Cheerilee asked angrily. “We never use that word ‘test’ in this classroom! Tests are evil! They’re dangerous! How can you think I’d give you something like that?” The crusaders all looked at eachother curiously and thought what went wrong.