//------------------------------//
// Sweet vs. Elite 
// Story: Friendship is Epic - Book 3: Blessings of the Night 
// by FlareGun45 
//------------------------------//

“Isn’t it marvelous, Opal?” Rarity asked her cat as she arrives in Canterlot. “I’ve always adored Canterlot! Just look at how divine this place looks! I know I seem to repeat myself sometimes, but I just can’t help myself! Besides, I am well respected around here. Isn’t that right, Lyrica Lilac?”

“Do I know you?” she asked as she walks away.

“Stop pretending I don’t exist!” Rarity yelled. So as Rarity walks out of the trainstation area and starts walking on the streets of Canterlot, she kept on admiring the scenery. “Ahhh! I can’t think of a finer city than this! I mean Manehatten is nice too, but… ehh… crime happens commonly around there, but not here! This city is just so peaceful!” Rarity said as two royal guards were beating up a changeling in the background.

“What did I do wrong?!” the changeling yelled in the background.

“We don’t need you in this town!” a royal guard yelled.

“I do! I get paid more for this!” the other guard yelled.

“Yep! So peaceful!” Rarity said because she didn’t notice what was happening. Just then, two more changelings dropped goo on the two royal guards so they can rescue their friend.

“Ah, hello Rarity!” Swan Dive said as she walked over to her.

“Swan Dive! So delightful to see you again!” Rarity said.

“Such a delightful to see you as well, Miss Rarity.” Swan Dive said. “I am assuming you’re here for the 23rd annual Canterlot Art Convention?”

“Oh most definitely!” Rarity nodded.

“I say, where are those pony friends of yours?” Swan Dive asked.

“Since when did you take interest in them? You kept saying bad things about them last time we met, and for that matter, I have no idea why I’m talking to you.” Rarity said.

“Oh my apologies, Miss Rarity.” Swan Dive said. “I keep forgetting that you six ponies hold the Elements of Harmony and saved Equestria many times. Plus, one of your friends is a princess. Ponies would have to be complete nuts not to respect the six of you after all you’ve done for us.”

“Well thank you, Swan Dive!” Rarity said. “Unfortunately for us, we don’t hold the Elements of Harmony anymore. We had to save Equestria by giving them up to the Tree of Harmony.”

“Oh…” Swan Dive said. “Well in that case your friends’ popularity has now plummeted.”

Rarity glares at Swan Dive and said, “Have a nice day.” Rarity then walks away insultingly.

“You still matter, Miss Rarity!” Swan Dive said. “You’re friends with Fancypants. That’s pretty much the only reason why I respect you still.”

“My goodness gracious, Opal! Some ponies seem to only care about popularity and money around here! It makes me remember why I never bothered moving here in the first place.” Rarity complained. Opal wasn’t really paying attention. She was just playing with her toy mouse on her back. “If there was only one pony that had a sense of true respect around here.”

“Ah, Miss Rarity! Welcome back to Canterlot!” Fancypants said to her.

“Fancypants!” Rarity said excitedly as the two of them shook hooves. “Now there’s a true gentlecolt! A Canterlot pony that knows exactly how to respect a common outcast! Ew… did I actually say that?”

Fancypants chuckles. “Good to have you back! I reckon you’ll be staying at the castle again?”

“Different suite this time.” Rarity said. “Princess Celestia really knows how to please a mare like myself. Oh… umm… not in that way if you’re wondering that.” she blushed in embarrassed.

Fancypants chuckles again. “Oh relax, Rarity. I don’t believe in that Princess Molestia nonsense. That alternate ego is just a myth.”

“And thank goodness for that. Some individuals and their weird minds.” Rarity chuckles. “But hey, too each their own right?”

“Exactly!” Fancypants said. “Mind if I walk with you to the castle?”

“Not at all!” Rarity said as the two of them started walking. “So, Fancypants, what’s new?”

“I just bought some VIP tickets for Fleur Dis Lee and myself for the Equestria Games in a few months. It would be a shame if you weren’t there.” Fancypants said.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Rarity said. “I didn’t tell anypony around here this yet, but with my help, and of course my friends, we pitched in at helping the Crystal Empire get chosen to be the location for the Equestria Games!”

“Splendid, Rarity! Splendid!” Fancypants said excitedly. “I’ve always wondered what the Crystal Empire would be like. I find the Crystal ponies to be quite rustic! I’ve seen a few of them around here, and I thought it would be quite nice to see the heart of it all!”

“You’ll love the Crystal Empire, darling! I’ve seen it at its worse and I’ve seen it at its best.” Rarity said.

“I’d love to hear all about it!” Fancypants said. “Why don’t we meet later and you could tell me all about it?”

“Well I did have quite a long train ride. I feel I need to rest up, but you will be at the Canterlot Art Show tomorrow, would you?” Rarity asked.

“Have you just met me, Rarity?” Fancypants teased. “Whenever there’s a special event happening in Canterlot, I am there!”

“But perhaps we should meet later for a delightful linner, right?” Rarity asked.

“Ah yes! The combination of lunch and dinner! I’m having a feast at my manor today at 4. I’d be delighted if you would attend to that, as well as your friends if they’re coming.” Fancypants offered.

“Unfortunately, my friends are all busy this weekend. Twilight is reshelving her library… again, Pinkie Pie and AppleJack are going on some… ‘family discovery’ trip, and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are busy practicing for the Equestria Games qualifications next weekend.” Rarity explained. 

“How about your little dragon friend?” Fancypants asked.

“Oh Spike? He’s just looking after the Boutique while I’m gone!” Rarity said.

A cutaway shows Spike watching over the Boutique for Rarity. When Parasol was walking over to the shop wanting to buy a dress, the door was locked. She then knocked on the door. “GO AWAY! We’re closed!” Spike yelled from the other side. Parasol just awkwardly backed away from the shop. Inside the shop, Spike was eating all of Rarity’s gems. He seemed very paranoid, especially when there was none left. “I GOTTA HAVE MORE! I gotta have more!” Spike’s mouth was drooling. “I know there’s more! How about that picture Sweetie Belle made for her? No wait! The fire ruby I gave her! She never wears THAT. Perhaps I should take advantage over there. Heh heh heeeeh!” Spike chuckled mischievously. The cutaway ends. Rarity’s cutaways are just so innocent, aren’t they? She wouldn’t tease a celebrity or a TV show or something.

So Rarity drops her stuff and Opal off at her room. She then tips the porter a gem. “Here you go, darling! Get yourself a nice haircut!”

“I’m not sure if I’m insulted or complimented.” The porter said as Rarity walked away. “Well I have myself some time before Fancypants’ banquet. I wonder what I should do?”

“You can try having a meal over at Flare’s Pizza Parlor’s Canterlot branch!” I suggested as I was walking next to her. “But then again, it’s more expensive, and the food isn’t as good as the food from the Ponyville shop because I work at the other one, but hey, it’s better than nothing, right?”

“Flare?” Rarity said surprisingly.

“Took you that long to notice me?” I asked. “Took you long enough to notice me, senpai. Well I know noticed you, senpai. What’s a senpai anyway? I never got that.”

“Flare what are you doing here, darling?” Rarity asked.

“What? Am I not allowed to be here in Canterlot?” I asked. “Really, Rarity. I dunno why you’d be surprised that I’m here. Unicorns are the most common race here and I’m a unicorn so I belong here.” Just then, Jet Set and Upper Crust started chuckling behind me.

“YOU belong here?” Upper Crust asked.

“My boy, that’s just complete rubbish for a child like yourself.” Jet Set teased.

“Really? You’re bringing THAT up again?” I complained. “So what I’m a child? I made the best of it! SO SHUT YOUR FACES! You know what you are? Complete jerks! You will never have what I have, and that is the will to be myself! So you think it’s funny to tease other ponies like that?!”

“Don’t give us an attitude, young stallion.” Jet Set instructed me.

“BANG! BANG! BANG!” I yelled at their faces. “Your words are gunshots! Your words hurt ponies! You think you’re better than everypony else but you are not! So why don’t you do me a favor and go and read the rest of the story before criticizing insults on something that ponies worked so hard for, or SHUT UP!” Jet Set and Upper Crust just then backed away from me nervously. “That’s right! GO! Scram!” I then looked back at Rarity and yelled, “What are you looking at?!”

“My goodness, Flare! Please, calm down!” Rarity suggested.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” I said calmly. “These Canterlot ponies just get on my nerves! No wonder business isn’t going so well at my Canterlot shop! These ponies think they’re better than me, but they’re not!”

“I adore your enthusiasm, darling, and sticking up to yourself, really I do!” Rarity admitted. “But those anger issues you have. They should be worked on.”

“Hey, I don’t blame him sometimes.” Psyche said as he joined us. “These Canterlot ponies are so nerve wrecking they make Flare here look good!”

“Psyche, are you win me or again me?” I asked.

“What or what now?” Rarity asked.

“He means ‘with me or against me’, and Flare I took your side on this. Shouldn’t you be thanking me?” Psyche asked.

“Ah, Psyche! You’re here too, huh?” Rarity asked.

“Yep, I’m here!” Psyche said.

“Why are you so surprised, Rare? Psyche’s here all the time.” I reminded her.

“I really did not know that.” Rarity admitted.

“Yeah I’m here all the time. I borrow Luna’s observatory sometimes for my research.” Psyche said.

“And how’s your research coming along?” Rarity asked.

“Pretty well!” Psyche nodded. “Flare wanted to come along with me because he wanted to help out his Canterlot shop because it isn’t doing so well.”

“I thought you came with me?” I asked him.

“I told you I was coming to Canterlot.” Psyche reminded me.

“And I said I wanted to come too.” I said.

“That means you’re coming with me.” Psyche said.

“No it doesn’t. It means I liked your idea and wanted to come along to check on my shop. If I was coming here with you I would’ve stuck with you this entire trip.” I explained.

“We share a hotel room, and the only time we’re apart is when we’re going to the bathroom.” Psyche said.

“That’s not true.” I said.

“Of course not, you wait outside of the bathroom for me.” Psyche chuckled.

“Nooooo. Well, yes that, but I mean, we’re apart when you’re at your observatory most of the time because being there bores me.” I said.

“I realized that.” Psyche nodded.

“Well it is nice that you two are here but I have to get ready for a banquet tonight.” Rarity said.

“A banquet, really?” I asked excitedly.

“Y-yeah.” Rarity said.

“What kind of banquet?” I asked.

“The type you eat at.” Psyche teased.

“No, Psyche. Leave the snarky teasing to the professionals, alright?” I asked him.

“Ok, that’s cool, Flare! Know any professionals?” Psyche teased. Oooooo burn! I would’ve said ‘oh snap’, but I don’t think Crystal would like that. Oh woops, I just said it, oh snap. Dang! I just said it again!

“So Rare, what kind of banquet are we talking about?” I asked.

“Oh you know… Fancypants has a banquet linner tonight at 4 at his manor, and why did I just tell you that?” Rarity said.

“Just because he uses the term ‘linner’, I’m in! This would be a great chance to have ponies come over to the shop and try some of my delicious pizza! This will definitely help the business!” I said excitedly.

“Oh, well… umm… I don’t know if… well… does Fancypants even know you?” Rarity asked.

“Are you kidding? He’s the one that inspired me to act childlike whenever I want because, hey… who can control my life, huh? Me, I can control my life.” I said.

“Well… i-if you really want to come… I guess…” Rarity started, but then I interrupted.

“RAH HAHA HAAAAA!” I laughed. “Yeah this banquet is going to be fun! I can already taste those delicious tacos that they serve over there, or… you know… whatever fancy stuff Canterlot folks like to eat. Psyche, you in?”

“No thanks, dude. I have tons of work to do, but we’ll meet back at the room tonight, alright?” Psyche asked.

“That doesn’t mean what you think it means.” I said to Rarity.

“Point taken.” Rarity said. “Are you sure you don’t want to come along, Psyche?”

“I’m sure. This work is really important for me. I’ll be at the castle if you need me.” Psyche said.

“Alright, brah! See ya!” I said.

“You two have fun! Also be good, Flare.” Psyche instructed me.

“I’m GREAT! Who needs to be good when you’re great? Huh?” I asked excitedly. “C’mon Rare, you get me right?”

“I really don’t.” Rarity said. So Psyche walked off.

“I dunno, sista. I wish Psyche would stick around. Doesn’t seem right being the only stallion at the banquet.” I said.

“Flare, what kind of party do you think I’m going to?” Rarity asked.

“I dunno, what do Canterlot ponies like to do for fun?” I asked. “Probably boring stuff like going to art museums, or going to the opera, or go to silent auctions.”

“Flare Gun, Flare Gun, Flare Gun.” Rarity shakes her head.

“Rarity Belle, Rarity Belle, Rarity Belle.” I shook my head.

“My last name isn’t Belle, dear.” Rarity corrected me.

“What is your last name then?” I asked.

“If you want me to teach you all the fascinating things that Canterlot has to offer, I’ll be more than happy to!” Rarity said.

“How can you be more than happy?” I asked. Just then, music started playing in the background because Rarity was about to sing, and unlike most of my songs, her song was complete original.

“Look at this city, isn’t it delightfuuuul?” Rarity sang to me while showing me Canterlot. “Trend and flair, and no I don’t mean your name. The ponies know fashion, it’s like it’s their passion, and they knooooooow great decooooor!” Rarity then said in her normal voice, “You get it now, dear?”

“The only thing I get is that you put ‘fashion’ and ‘passion’ in the same rhyme, just like every other song that uses those words.” I commented.

“Perhaps I should show you more.” Rarity suggested.

“Hey I got nothing better to do.” I said. Rarity then takes me to the Canterlot Gardens and continues to sing. “Out in the garden, fascinating floraaaaa! Pink and blue, and red and white I wouldn’t forget them too. Where a garden party is featured, it gives pony cultured more natured, and they knooooow how to daaaaance!” she then says in her normal voice to me, “Got anything to say about that, Flare Gun?”

“Yeah, what’s the song called?” I asked.

“I’ll get there in but a moment.” Rarity said as she takes me to a fancy clothes store and continues singing, “Clothes of silk, and made of fancy threads. Shoe-shiners, that make things sparkle beyond their heads. Devine hats, and don’t forget the trendy shades.” Rarity uses her magic to put a big nature hat on my head and put some yellow sunglasses with diamonds on them over my eyes. “Canterlot, here we arrrrre to make yoooour daaaaaay!”

“Oh that’s what it’s called?” I asked. Rarity then takes me back outside and she checks out a collection of bowties, because bowties are cool.

“Look at this city, isn’t it delighfuuuul? You have to look your best, if you are to gain popularity. Empty your mind of anything that is not uptight or style. You’ll going beyond a mile, if you just do exactly as I say. Canterlooooooot, here we aaaaaaare toooooooo maaaaaake yoooooour daaaaaaaaaaaaay!” the camera zooms out as the song comes to its conclusion.

“Nice song, Rarity.” I said.

“Thank you, dear!” Rarity said.

“Lip-synch it all?” I asked. “Because your singing voice sounds really different from your-“ Rarity then quickly puts her hoof over my mouth.

“Shhhh!” she shushed me, and then she whispered, “It’s supposed to be a secret!”

Meanwhile, at the observatory, Psyche was reading a Fancy Cat magazine while sitting down on a recliner chair. “Wow… that cat really is fancy.” Psyche said. Just then, Psyche heard a knock on the door. Psyche quickly put an astronomy book over his Fancy Cat magazine and then he yelled out, “Come in!” The door opens, and it was revealed to be Princess Luna. “Oh, Princess Luna! What a pleasant surprise!”

“Likewise, Psyche Illusion.” Luna said. “Enjoying your Fancy Cat magazine?”

“Wh-what are you talking about?” Psyche asked nervously. “I’m reading this astronomy book here, see?” Just then, the Fancy Cat magazine falls on the floor.

“Did you know that 12% of the internet is filled with cat pictures?” Luna asked.

“I like to go ol-fashion sometimes.” Psyche said. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I sleep at night just like everypony else.” Luna said.

“I thought you’re up all night going into ponies’ dreams?” Psyche asked.

“How do you think I visit their dreams?” Luna asked. “I can’t do it without sleeping, Psyche.”

“Point taken.” Psyche understood as he puts the astronomy book down and picks up the cat magazine from the ground and puts it on top of the book. “What do you need, Luna?”

“I got your message.” Luna said. “I know why you’re here.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Psyche said. “I need your help, princess. It is very, VERY important!”

“So I understood.” Luna said. “Officer Penny Nickels getting to you again?”

“He said something about my mom dying for a purpose. I want to know what.” Psyche said.

“You shouldn’t let these little things bother you, Psyche Illusion.” Luna said. “For all you know, he could be pulling your leg.”

“Wow, pulling your leg!” Psyche chuckled. “You’re really getting with the kids these days, huh Luna?”

“Hashtag cop troubles.” Luna said.

“Ok let’s not go too far.” Psyche said. “Now then, my mom has secrets; secrets that are pretty much lost forever in her mind that died out with her; I know that much, but I kinda have a bad feeling that it may not have been lost forever. This is something Officer Nickels really wants it would seem. I want to know what he wants so I can look for it, and make sure he doesn’t get to it. Do you know anything about this?”

“No, but there was one thing certain.” Luna said. “Officer Nickels obviously doesn’t want anypony to know.”

“Of course he doesn’t. That’s obvious.” Psyche said. “Can’t you go inside his dream and maybe try to figure it out?”

“You didn’t let me finish.” Luna complained.

“Nopony ever let’s me finish sentences. Try hanging out with ponies such as the Noble Six.” Psyche complained.

“Anyways, like I was saying, I’m not able to enter his dream because there is a blockade; a tumor if you will.” Luna said.

“A tumor?” Psyche asked.

“Yes, a tumor.” Luna said.

“Is Officer Nickels infected with a sickness?” Psyche asked.

“If you call greed and evil a sickness then yes.” Luna said. “This tumor is rarely used, but when it is, it’s pretty much my only weakness that I cannot enter these ponies’ dreams. It’s not a natural tumor; it was put there.”

“I have the feeling that it has Dr. Swinebutt’s name all over it.” Psyche assumed.

“No, it’s impossible for names to be put on tumors; you should know that, Psyche Illusion.” Luna corrected him.

“It’s a figure of speech, princess.” Psyche said.

“Sorry, I’ve only been back from the moon for only a few years.” Luna said.

“But you should get what I’m saying. It’s probable that Dr. Swinebutt is responsible for the tumor. Officer Nickels works with him.” Psyche said.

“For.” Luna said. “Nopony works WITH Dr. Swinebutt, they only FOR him.”

“You’re just as bad as my friends.” Psyche said.

“You correct them all the time, don’t you?” Luna asked.

“I guess I had it coming.” Psyche admitted. “So princess, please, I really need your help on this. Officer Nickels, and probably Swinebutt are after something that my mom’s been hiding for so many years. I need to find out what.”

“Then we shall start with the family crest.” Luna said.

“Yes, the crest!” Psyche nodded.

“Yes, indeed, the one you and Flare got from when we visited Trottingham.” Luna said.

“No the one Discord and I got from Tatarus.” Psyche said sarcastically. 

“No need to get all snippy with me, Psyche Illusion! I was only trying to help!” Luna said.

“Sorry about that. Bad habit.” Psyche said.

“Hmm.” Luna glares at him. “We should head to the Canterlot vaults at once.”

“Ok sounds good, but first, I need to show you something.” Psyche requested.

“What would you like to show me?” Luna asked.

Psyche takes out his Fancy Cat magazine and shows a page to Luna. “Does this look like a cat dressed as Garfield, or is it just what Garfield looks like in real life?” he asked.

“I think that’s more of a ‘dressed as a tiger’, not Garfield, because I don’t see any lasagna, I just see that cat eating a mouse.” Luna said. “If it’s truly Garfield, they did it wrong.”

“Hey at least if something is put on the internet, it can be deleted and fixed. Once put in a magazine, it’s there forever.” Psyche said.

“Indeed.” Luna agreed.

Meanwhile with Rarity and I, we both went to her hotel room so she can help fit in with the Canterlot folk. Yeah, see, I had to put in ‘so she can help me fit in with the Canterlot folk’ after ‘we both went to her hotel room’ just so you won’t think otherwise. Hey, don’t blame me, blame the internet.

“Now then, Flare, if you want more ponies to be visiting your Canterlot shop, they’re going to have to make sure you fit in.” Rarity said.

“I don’t want to fit in though.” I said. “I want to be myself. Don’t change me for who I am, Rare.”

“Flare, do you want ponies to visit your shop?” Rarity asked. “I want to help you, darling. There’s no way I’m going to let a friend of mine waste his money on an expansion that nopony even goes to. I must do this! I must, I must, I must!”

“Well if you’re really going to go out of your way to help me out, then I’ll listen.” I said. “Don’t expect much from me. I tried not being myself once.”

A cutaway shows me in Amish country making an Amish doll in an Amish hotel. Just then, a couple of outside guests walk inside, a family if you will. The mom says to me, “Hello there. Our carriage broke down on the highway and we need to stay here for the night.”

“Your husband’s leg broken?” I asked.

“Yep, and I left my license at home by accident.” The mom said.

“Ok, well, welcome to Amish country! I own this hotel, and I make Amish dolls for a living.” I said as I give one to the daughter.

“YAY!” the daughter cheered but her happiness fades away real quick. “There’s no face on this doll.”

“Amish dolls don’t allow faces, and that’s good because I can never draw the eyes right.” I said. “It’s like Cobra from GI-Joe.”

“Anywhere I can charge my phone?” the other daughter asked.

“We’re expecting a storm later. Maybe that’ll help.” I said.

“How do you know?” the mom asked.

“We have one of those wind things that tell us.” I said.

“I don’t suppose you have video games here, do you?” the son asked me. I didn’t say a thing. In fact, I was silent for the rest of the conversation. I was never heard from at the Amish country again. The cutaway ends.

“Alright, Flare, now the first thing you need to know about fitting in with Canterlot ponies is dressing up.” Rarity said.

“What’s wrong with the clothes I’m wearing?” I asked.

“Well… errrr… no offense, but…. Umm…. well…” Rarity stuttered.

“Spit it out, Rare. I won’t be insulted.” I promised.

“Ok… well… I mean… I like your style of clothing, so this is not my opinion.” Rarity said.

“Sista, if your opinion is that you like my choice of clothing, then you wouldn’t think there’s a problem at all.” I pointed out.

“Well, slangs, Canterlot ponies don’t like slangs, I’ll give you that.” Rarity said.

“But ‘darling’ is ok?” I asked.

“Yes.” Rarity said. “Now… what was I saying?”

“My clothes.” I said.

“Right, your clothes. I think… that the Canterlot ponies would think… that it’s a bit too… how you say… street?” Rarity said.

“Street?” I asked. “Explain.”

“You know… they’d think it would look… look to… delinquent.” Rarity said.

“Rare, the only reason I’m insulted right now is that you’re giving me your opinion on my clothes, but you’re lying and saying the Canterlot ponies wouldn’t like it.” I said.

“Look… how about we go shopping later? I’ll buy you something a little more… causal!” Rarity said.

“Hey you’re the expert on Canterlot ponies, not me.” I said.

“Don’t worry, Flare. I know this may seem hard for you, and for me, but I’m only doing what’s best for you.” Rarity said.

“We barely hang out. Why are you so desperate in helping me?” I asked.

“It’s my thing, darling. I’m always there to help out ponies in need.” Rarity said. “You forget, I’m the Element of Generosity!”

“Not anymore you’re not.” I reminded her.

“Well I- just because I don’t have the necklace doesn’t mean I still don’t represent it!” Rarity said.

“Oh you still have the necklace. You just don’t have the gem representing your CM on it anymore.” I reminded her. “You can use the necklace itself for… other things.”

“That’s true, I’m already planning on making something special with it.” Rarity said. “But we’re going off topic here. How about we try a simple conversation exercise?”

“I can only do one or the other. If I talk while I do jumping jacks, all you’ll be hearing is…” I suddenly start breathing really hard.

Rarity wipes the spit off her face, and she said, “Not like that. I mean, talk how Canterlot ponies talk.”

“Hey where did you get that eyeliner from? Walmart? It looks hideous!” I laughed.

“WELL I NEVE…” Rarity shouted insultingly but then she stopped and nodded. “Perfect! Well, I mean, not perfect. It’s something they say, but they’re more than just criticizing pony’s looks.”

“Yeah tell that to the fandom.” I mumbled to myself.

“Now how about we improvise a bit, shall we?” Rarity suggested. “I’ll start.” She clears her throat and then she said, “Good evening, good sir. How are you on this fine evening?”

“It’s afternoon.” I corrected her.

“No, no. We don’t correct ponies during conversations, Flare.” Rarity said. “Let’s start over. Good afternoon, good sir! How are you on this fine day?”

“Time out for a second. I don’t like to be called ‘sir’, and I don’t like calling other ponies it. It makes me feel superior, and it makes me think other ponies want to be superior and I don’t like either.” I said.

“I’m sorry, Flare, but that’s the way things work here.” Rarity said.

“Fine.” I said.

“Good afternoon, good sir! How are you on this fine eveni- I mean, on this fine day!” Rarity said.

“So you’re telling me we can purposely mess up our conversations?” I teased and I began to chuckle.

“No, Flare; that was a simple mistake.” Rarity said.

“I know but it was funny!” I laughed. Rarity glared at me.

“Let’s try something else.” Rarity said. “Pretend I’m a clothes shop owner selling you something fashionable.”

“Why pretend? You already are.” I reminded her.

“Ok, pretend I’m a DIFFERENT clothes shop owner selling you something fashionable.” Rarity said. “Hello, sir, and welcome to my shop! Can I interest you into something fashionable?”

“No thanks, I’m just browsing.” I said.

“Ok… that’s… better.” Rarity said.

“What did I do wrong that time?” I asked.

“Nothing, it was perfect!” Rarity said. “I just… expected you to buy something.”

“But I told you, I’m good with what I’m wearing.” I said.

Rarity sighs. “Alright, I got something easier. Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”

“You could just look on that digital clock over there.” I pointed out.

“No, Flare, I’m asking YOU for the time.” Rarity said.

“It’s a quarter after 1.” I said, and then I sang, “I’m all alone and I need you no-ow.”

“No, no, Flare, don’t add anything else to that. Ok, we’re not joking around, dear.” Rarity said.

“You’re not, but I am.” I said. Rarity sighs and shakes her head. Alright, we’ll come back to us in a bit. Let’s see how Luna and Psyche are doing.

Psyche heads to the vaults below Canterlot castle along side Princess Luna. The vault was HUGE. It’s so big, you can fit a Scarab from Halo inside. Probably five of them. “Wow… look at the size of that thing!” Psyche said surprisingly. That’s what she said! HA HA HA! I couldn’t resist!

“Indeed it is, Psyche.” Luna said. “The most valuable treasures in all of Equestria are put in here. Only a pony with princess magic can open them.”

“So basically, any alicorn can open it.” Psyche said.

“Not quite.” Luna said. “I mean any member of Equestrian royalty can open it. Not just any alicorn. If it was any alicorn that could open these vaults, we’d be having more alicorn OCs flooding the nation.”

“Good point.” Psyche said. “So the family crest I gave you is in here?”

“It is.” Luna nodded. “Do you remember the passcode to open your safe deposit box?”

“Flare wrote it down. I picked it up from his trailer. He was ok with me having it.” Psyche said as he takes out a piece of paper from his satchel showing the passcode.

“Splendid!” Luna said. “Now then, Psyche Illusion, please stand back. I’m going to be opening this vault.” Luna walks over to the vault, spits on her hoof, presses her hoof against the vault’s keylock, and then the vault starts to rumble. All the mechanisms securing the vault door become unsecured, and then the vault’s wheel in the center of it turns; think of this vault as like the vault in Portal 2. The vault door then suddenly slowly opens, revealing the HUGE collection of safe deposit boxes inside. Everything in the vault was so shinny and metaly. 

Psyche was pretty impressed to how the room looked, but the only thing he asked about it was, “Why do you spit on your hoof to open the vault?”

“My sister has adopted the ways of certain pony folks over the years I was gone.” Luna said. “I never liked that way, but luckily she’s usually down here to open the vault every Tuesday at 4 PM for inspection.”

“Why would you tell me that?” Psyche asked.

“My apologies, Psyche Illusion. It just slipped out. I usually overshare with the ponies I’m close with.” Luna explained. “You should hear how much information I gave to Flare that I was embarrassed about.”

“Point taken.” Psyche nodded. Luna and Psyche walk inside the vault, and they hop onto one of those elevator things. You know, the ones with the lever on it, and it goes up and down and side to side? Yeah those things. 

Psyche and Luna hop on one of those things, and then Luna asked, “What’s the deposit box number?” 

“Uhh…” Psyche checks the piece of paper. “It’s number 4,545.”

“How expecting.” Luna said as she types the number on the elevator thing, and then the elevator thing suddenly slides around the room really fast to another part of the room.

“Wow that was trippy!” Psyche said.

“It’s not over yet.” Luna said as the elevator thing suddenly goes up and up and up really fast, and then suddenly stops right in the middle.

“Whoa! Ok… I think I’m having an asthma attack.” Psyche said as he takes out his inhaler, but before he’s able to use it, the elevator thing suddenly slides around the room again until they finally reached deposit box 4,454.

“We’re here.” Luna said.

“Wait hang on.” Psyche said as he was about to use his inhaler, but before he was able to use it, Luna checks the box number.

“Wait, sorry. This is box 4,455. We’re meant to be at 4,545.” Luna said as she types the number on the keypad again.

“NO WAIT!” Psyche cried, but the elevator thing already was moving around the room really fast and stops real hard, but when they left the other box, Psyche dropped his inhaler.

“Here we are, Psyche. Deposit box 4,545!” Luna said.

“WAIT!” Psyche yelled as his asthma attack was still affecting him. “I dropped my inhaler!”

“Oh… no worries, we’ll get it.” Luna said as she presses a button on the keypad and the elevator things start going around the room really fast again and back down to the bottom floor. “Here we are!” Luna said. That ride made Psyche collapse on the ground. “Maybe I’ll get it.” she said as she uses her magic to levitate Psyche’s inhaler to her, and she brings it to Psyche. Psyche immediately takes the inhaler and uses it.

“Ok… ok… I’m better now.” Psyche said as he takes deep breaths.

“Ready to go back up?” Luna asked.

“NO!” Psyche cried. “No. Just… how about you go up and I’ll just fly up to you?”

“Are you sure, Psyche Illusion? It’s pretty high up.” Luna asked.

“I’m positive.” Psyche said.

Luna shrugs. “Suit yourself.” Luna presses the numbers on the keypad again and quickly rides the elevator thing back up to the safe deposit box. Luna obviously has a lot of fun riding that thing, but it’s too much for Psyche to handle, so he starts flying up to catch up to her.

Meanwhile back with Rarity and I, Rarity takes me to the clothing store to find something suitable to wear to impress the Canterlot ponies. “Ok, Flare. If you’re going to impress ponies here in Canterlot. You need to get yourself something suitable to wear, and believe me, this will be for a good cause!”

“But this isn’t a Good Will store.” I reminded her.

“By ‘good cause’, I mean good for your business.” Rarity said as she walks me over to the tuxedos. “Now we need to get yourself some causal, something that will delight these ponies.”

“700 bits for a tuxedo?!” I cried out in surprise as I looked at the price tag. “I could just buy a 2-way ticket back to Ponyville, get my tux from home, and come back for cheaper than that!”

“Not to worry, Flare. I’ll buy a tux for you!” Rarity said.

“Rare, I appreciate all you’re doing, really I do. I am ever so grateful!” I said.

“But…” Rarity started.

“But what?” I asked.

“But you feel bad about me going out of my way just to make sure your Canterlot business stays successful?” Rarity asked.

“No that’s it. I just appreciate all you’re doing.” I said. “I like it when you buy things for me!”

“Oh… well then.” Rarity said. “Anyways, let’s pick out a tux for you? How about this one? It matches your eyes!” Rarity shows me a tux that has a blue blouse that matches my eyes, a black tie and a black jacket.

“You think my eyes are THAT black?” I asked.

“I’m talking about the blue, dear.” Rarity corrected me.

“Ehhh… it’s ok, but I’d rather have the blue match my vest then my eyes.” I said.

“You know what? That is a good idea!” Rarity agreed as she picked out another tux for me. “How about this one? It matches the color your vest!”

“A bowtie?” I complained. “What am I, a Time Lord? I like tongue ties better!”

“Ooooh… are you sure?” Rarity asked.

“You’re the one that wants me to gain business right? You want me to change for the better, then I should be the one to pick what way.” I said. “It’s like studying for a driving test. If you can’t study THEIR way, you won’t get your learners permit. I don’t read books! That’s why I did the online test and cheated.”

“You cheated on your driving permit test?” Rarity asked.

“Let’s worry about one thing at a time, shall we?” I suggested.

“Right, the clothes.” Rarity nodded as she went to check on the clothes to see if there was something I wanted. “Well… I did find the tux you were looking for, but it’s smaller. They don’t have your size.”

“Are you calling me fat?!” I complained.

“Wha- NO!” Rarity said. 

“Oh… I’d rather you call me fat. I like being called that. Makes me feel like I’m in a Cheese Sandwich parody.” I said.

“Ok, well then dear, I am sorry to say, they don’t have your size of the tux you want.” Rarity said.

“Really? Did they check the back?” I asked.

“This is a Canterlot shop. Either everything is out for display or they’re in a warehouse kept nicely. There is no ‘back’.” Rarity said.

“I can’t accept any other tux! This is the one I want!” I said.

“I’m sorry, Flare, but they don’t have your size.” Rarity said. “I got an idea! How about you take the one with the bowtie on it, but we don’t buy the bowtie, we just take the tongue tie from the smaller one? One small tie won’t make a difference. It’s mainly blocked by the jacket anyway. Nopony needs to know.”

“NO!” I yelled. “For Wizard of Hope’s sake, NO! The bowtie COMES with the bigger one, and the tongue tie comes with the smaller one! Switching them over, would… it… it just doesn’t make sense!”

“It’s no big deal, Flare.” Rarity said.

“No big deal?!” I yelled. “What if the tongue tie from the smaller one misses the smaller tux? They’ve been together since they were made! I can’t just split them apart! Also, what if the bowtie misses the bigger tux? It’s like parents switching their foals! That won’t feel right at all!”

“Flare, darling, it’s really no big deal.” Rarity said.

“Well it is to me!” I said.

“How about I buy you both?” Rarity suggested.

“And what am I supposed to do with the smaller one with the bowtie? It won’t be used.” I said. “If I don’t use it, I’ll be selling it or donating it. No I’m not throwing it away, I hate throwing stuff away.”

“You can save it for your own foal.” Rarity suggested.

“Rare, Crèmepop and I have just been together for almost a year. You think we’re even ready to get married?” I asked as I gave her a look.

Rarity started to get really annoyed, and was about to blow a fuse, but she kept her cool and took a deep breath, and then she faked a smile and started walking. “Fine. We’ll just go to another boutique.”

“I like that one.” I pointed to a purple tux.

“Which one?” Rarity asked as she stopped and turned around.

“That one.” I repeated.

“A purple one?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah, a purple one!” I said. “Won’t it look stylish on me? Besides, you like purple! I know you’ll like it!”

“No, you’re absolutely right, Flare! The purple one would look very stylish on you!” Rarity agreed. “Except… won’t that give you a bad impression? Stallions don’t normally wear purple.”

“Stallions don’t normally wear purple?” I asked. “Then why is there a purple tux? Mares don’t wear tuxedos. Why else is there a purple tux there? For a stallion to buy and wear. Am I right?”

“Well… errrm… you do have a point there.” Rarity thought. “But… I mean… don’t get me wrong, I KNOW for a fact you’ll look divine in it! I just don’t want ponies to think you’re… you know… like my cousin.”

“Which one?” I asked.

“The one that owns The Jam club in Las Pegasus. He’s kind of… you know… he likes stallions.” Rarity said.

“I like stallions too. Stallions make great bros!” I said.

“That’s not what I- actually… ok then. You know what? I’ll get you the purple tux! I know you’ll look divine in it, dear! You’ll impress these ponies yet!” Rarity said excitedly.

“I know I will!” I said excitedly. “I’m learning from the best! You know how to be… umm… divine, so I might as well learn from the best. You know what these ponies like, and you’re teaching me everything I need to know!” I take the tuxedo and walk over to the checkout desk. “Good day, sir. I’d like to buy this tuxedo if you please?”

“Wow, such a gentlecolt!” the store owner said impressively. “I’d do business with you, any day!” I turn to Rarity, and she nods and smiles at me, but the kind of look that she’s giving me… if this were an animated series, you’d probably ship us. “That’ll be 560 bits please?”

Rarity was about take out her pocket book and get some money out, but then I took my wallet out and said, “Allow me, Rare. This is, of course, my tuxedo. It wouldn’t be very gentlecoltly of me to let a lady pay.”

“Why thank you, Flare Gun!” Rarity said. “I must say, I am impressed!” Once I paid the cashier and bought my tux, I ran over to the front door and held it open for Rarity. “Why thank you once again, darling! You sure are proving yourself to be a delightful gentlecolt!”

“You’re welcome, Miss Rarity.” I said as I followed her out.

“You are ready for that linner party!” Rarity said.

“How delightful!” I said. “Hey can I ask you something real quick?”

“Of course, dear, anything!” Rarity said.

“We’re not going to Chili’s or Applebees, are we?” I asked.

“No, why?” Rarity asked.

“Because holding two sets of doors open for you is going to be quite a challenge.” I said. 

Meanwhile back down at the vaults, Luna was waiting for Psyche to fly up to the safe deposit box with her. Psyche was taking deep breaths as he was flying up. “Took you soon enough, Psyche Illusion.” Luna said.

“Don’t test me, your highness.” Psyche said as he lands on the elevator thing Luna rode on and then he inhaled his inhaler.

“You could’ve just ridden on this with me if you were going to use your inhaler anyway.” Luna suggested.

“Whatever, let me just punch in the code.” Psyche said as he punches in the code to the safe deposit box, and once the code was granted, a key slot opens. “Oh you are kidding me! This paper doesn’t mention a key! It just shows the code!”

“I am truly sorry about this, Psyche Illusion. I would assume you’re having a bad day right now.” Luna said.

“You think?” Psyche asked sarcastically.

“You know, it takes guts to act sarcastic towards a princess.” Luna complained.

“I wouldn’t say ‘guts’. I’m pretty skinny.” Psyche said.

“It was just an expression.” Luna said.

“I know.” Psyche said. “Sometimes expressions give the wrong signals.”

A cutaway shows a pony at the doctor’s office getting checked up. The doctor says, “Mmhm.” He nodded while looking at some x-rays. He then turns to his patient and said, “Yep. It looks like the accident has made you as blind as a bat.”

“Oh well, at least bats can see a little bit.” The patient said positively.

“I meant a baseball bat.” The doctor said as he throws a baseball at him.

“Ow!” the patient yelled while rubbing his head.

“Yep. See what I mean?” the doctor asked.

“Not really.” The patient said.

“Exactly.” The doctor said in a comforting tone. The cutaway ends.

So Psyche immediately takes out his phone and attempts to call me, but then his phone starts making a beeping sound, like when a line is busy or something, or in this case, “Hmm, no signal.” He said.

“Communication reception on any device gets cut off down here. In fact, all type of connection is cut off in this vault, to avoid hacking.” Luna said.

“You sure learned a lot about modern technology since you’ve been gone.” Psyche said.

“I fell in love with technology pretty fast.” Luna said. “It turns out I’m a geek.”

“Nerd actually.” Psyche corrected her. “Nerds are considered smart and know a lot about technology and sci-fis, while geeks are just obsessed with sci-fis.”

“And what do you call a pony that cares about what it’s called?” Luna asked.

“I believe that’s considered a ‘dork’.” Psyche said.

“I see.” Luna said.

“So what am I going to do, Luna? How am I going to open it without a key?” Psyche asked.

Luna sighs and said, “Normally, I’m not obliged to do this if ponies aren’t able to access their safe deposit boxes in case that particular pony is a fraud, but I’ve known you long enough, Psyche Illusion, and I know how important this is to you, so…” Luna uses her magic to create a master key to unlock the safe deposit box for Psyche, and then it opens.

“Luna, thank you!” Psyche said excitedly.

“Don’t mention it.” Luna said. Psyche reaches inside the safe deposit box to search for his family crest.

“Wow this deposit box is bigger than I thought.” Psyche said.

“I know.” Luna said. “The deposit boxes are all-“

“-Bigger on the inside.” Psyche interrupted. “Yeah, we’ve all heard THAT before. It’s referenced A LOT.” Psyche then takes a jar full of… “What’s this?” he asked.

“That’s Flare Gun’s collection of hoof-nails.” Luna said.

“GROSS! I thought he put this in his office?” Psyche asked.

“I know. He has multiple jars. He’s been collecting hoof-nails for years.” Luna said.

“Why though?!” Psyche yelled.

“He’s pretty sentimental.” Luna said.

“No kidding!” Psyche said. “Where’s my family crest? Also…” Psyche takes out a rubber duck from the box. “I won’t even ask.”

A cutaway shows me back at my hotel room getting dressed for the linner party, but then I started to have a strange feeling as I was trying to put on my tie. “Somepony’s touching my special rubber duck!” I panicked. “Also I don’t know how to put on a tie.” The cutaway ends.

“Ah!” Psyche said as he takes his family crest out of the box. “This is it! This is the Illusion family crest! The very same one that Officer Nickels was looking for!”

“Unless this is a decoy and the true one’s been stolen.” Luna teased.

“Oh no, Luna, I’m not falling for that. It takes a true Illusion to know that this is the family crest!” Psyche said. “Wow… that sounded odd in so many different levels.”

“Yeah, I was about to say.” Luna said.

“Anyways, I got it!” Psyche said excitedly.

“What are you going to do with it?” Luna asked.

“I have to take a close look at it. I need to see what’s in here. I need to know what the fuss is about. This is a rare piece of treasure my family has been holding, Princess Luna, but there’s more in here that meets the eye.” Psyche said. “It may look valuable, but it may seem even more valuable on the inside.

“Are you sure about that, Psyche Illusion? It’s made of platinum gold. I’m pretty sure it’s more expensive on the outside.” Luna thought.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Psyche agreed. “But it’s what’s inside that’s important to me.”

“You sure about that?” Luna asked.

“No I’m not sure! Look how shinny this thing is!” Psyche panicked. “You have to be a complete lunatic to not like its texture and looks! As a matter of fact, not even a lunatic! A complete and total moron!”

“I take offense to the word ‘lunatic’, Psyche Illusion.” Luna said.

“Why would take offense to that- oh… I see. Alright then. My apologizes for that. I’m heading back to my hotel room to look at this. Thank you very much for your help, princess!” Psyche said with his hoof out.

“The pleasure is all mine!” Luna said as she hugged Psyche.

“TOO TIGHT! I have a fragile body!” Psyche freaked out in a struggling tone.

A while later, back at the hotel room, Rarity was adjusting my tie for me with her magic, while wearing her red glasses. “Hmm… over and under, grab the end, pull it through here, up and around, round the horn, bring it back home.” Rarity said. “There you go, darling! You look divine!”

“Thanks! I think purple really suits me!” I said.

“Speaking of purple, how is Psyche doing with his research?” Rarity asked.

“I dunno. I’ve been trying to call him, but he hasn’t answered his phone.” I said.

“Probably REALLY busy.” Rarity assumed. “I usually don’t answer my cell phone when I’m busy with work.”

“Hey, Rare?” I asked.

“Yes, Flare?” Rarity asked.

“Since when did you wear glasses?” I asked.

“I wore them when you first met, dear! Don’t you remember?” Rarity asked. Yeah, she wore her glasses on the very first chapter of FiE. I forgot to mention that. She wore her glasses a few times in the story. Not much though because I barely write down Rarity working at her Boutique.

“Barely.” I said. “You don’t need to wear glasses! You look pretty just the way you are!”

Rarity blushes. “You are such a flatterer, darling, and I agree! I do look more divine without glasses on, but you know how it is; sometimes I need them to look at close spaces.”

“Well, you see, I’m the opposite. While you can’t see well in close spaces, I can’t see well in far places. Well… when it comes to reading that is.” I said.

“You think you can get yourself a pair of glasses?” Rarity asked.

“No thanks, sista. The only glasses I’m ever wearing are sunglasses, or goggles for swimming.” I said. Just then, Psyche joins us in the room with his family crest. “Oh, Psyche! There you are!”

“Flare! What are… what are you doing here?” Psyche asked nervously as he hid his family crest behind his back.

“I’m staying here for the weekend! You know that!” I reminded him.

“Of… of course I did! Heheheheh!” Psyche chuckled nervously.

“Yeah I did too. I knew the whole time we were staying here! I was just testing you!” I said nervously.

“R-right.” Psyche said.

“Well since Flare isn’t going to say it, I am. Psyche, what are you hiding behind your back?” Rarity asked.

“Nothing important.” Psyche lied.

“Rare, I wasn’t going to ask him that because I don’t care. Whatever Psyche is up to is none of our business, and is pretty much just a waste of time.” I said.

“Now normally I’d be insulted by that comment, but in this case, you did say ‘none of your business’, so I’ll let it slide.” Psyche said.

“Well, brah, if you have nothing better to do, why don’t you join us for Fancypants’ linner party?” I requested.

“Oh great! Two of you! Yay!” Rarity said sarcastically, but Psyche’s type of sarcasm, Rarity’s sarcasm wasn’t really obvious, not even to Psyche.

“Oh thanks for the offer, you two! But I have a lot to do tonight; very important work. I’m sorry.” Psyche said.

“C’mon, dude! Please?” I begged. “All you need to do is act like a Canterlot pony, get yourself a nice tux and we’ll blend in great!”

“I didn’t really bring my tux with me, and I thought you said you said ‘if I have nothing better to do, I can go’?” Psyche asked.

“I was being… umm… what’s that word again?” I asked.

“Theatrical?” Psyche asked.

“I don’t steal stuff, brah.” I reminded him.

“What?” Psyche asked.

“What?” I asked.

“Actually, you know what? After all that’s happened today, I could use a good meal. All I’ve been eating today is Jelly Babies and the medication inside my inhaler, so sure, I’ll go.” Psyche said.

“Nice! Collin-D happy face!” I said excitedly.

“But I didn’t bring a tux, can I just bring my robe? It’s a very fancy red robe. One that rich ponies wear.” Psyche suggested.

“Sounds perfect!” Rarity said.

“Oh this is going to be an amazing linner party!” I said excitedly. “Way more amazing than forced advertising!”

A cutaway shows a pony in a tuxedo walking by, and a crystal pony walking by in the opposite direction. They both walk pass eachother, but then the crystal pony squirts mustard on the other pony’s tux. “HEY! What did you do that for?!” the pony in the tux complained.

“Have a stained tux? Come down to Rook Ramparts’ Tux 2 Clean Dry Cleaning, only at the Crystal Emprie!” the crystal pony known as Rook Ramparts said as he gave the tux pony a business card, and then walks away.

“The what empire?” the tux pony asked. The cutaway ends.

So we waited for Psyche to get ready and we were on our way to Fancypants’ manor for his linner party. Once we went towards his house, Rarity rings the doorbell. “Interesting. Flare didn’t complain that he didn’t ring the doorbell this time!” Psyche said impressively.

“Because I’m temporarily a gentlecolt right now. Also, Psyche, if you’re going to keep talking about me making me feel like a jerk, I’ll just tie your robe knot so tight that your-“ I decided to stop there because Fancypants answers the door. I really wasn’t finished talking to him, but I believe I made my point.

“Ah, Miss Rarity! Glad you can make it!” Fancypants said. “And… who are these two friends of yours?”

“You’re kidding right?” I asked. “We met before. I made a scene at Canterlot Square, and you gave me advice.”

“I don’t think I ever met him though.” Psyche said.

“Ah yes, I remember you, good sir!” Fancypants said.

“Me or him?” I asked as I pointed to Psyche.

“You of course! What was your name again?” Fancypants asked.

“Sir Flare Gun of dat Mareami heat, at your service!” I bowed.

“Ah yes, a pleasure to see you again! And who might you be, beautiful?” Fancypants asked Psyche.

“My name is Psyche Illusion, gorgeous. Sweetheart. Honey-bunny. Shnukum-lukums.” Psyche teased.

“I beg your pardon?” Fancypants asked.

“He doesn’t like being called a mare, please excuse our dearest apologies.” I said.

“And I thought Flare was going to mess this up.” Rarity mumbled to herself.

“Oh my apologies, sir! Please excuse me! I am terribly sorry about that! Please, make yourself at home!” Fancypants insisted as he moves out of the way and lets us in. We approach the dining room and there were a bunch more Canterlot ponies in there already sitting down having appetizers.

“Ah, Miss Rarity! Good to see you again, my dear!” Swan Dive said.

“Yes, quite!” Caesar agreed.

“I say, Fancy Pants, dear, who are those two ponies accompanied by Rarity?” Fleur asked.

“Is that one royalty?” Psyche whispered to me while pointing to Fleur.

“I have no clue.” I whispered back. “She’s got the body and horn, but she doesn’t have wings, so it’s hard to tell.”

“This here Sir Flare Gun of dat Mareami heat, and this here is a lovely femcolt by the name of Psyche Illusion.” Fancypants said.

“I don’t care if this is a fancy linner party; I’m going to rip his eyeballs out.” Psyche whispered to me.

“Shhh.” I comforted him and patted him on the back. “Leave it to Rarity. She’s the expert.”

Rarity clears her throat and says, “Yes. These here are some dear friends of mine from Ponyville, and just in case you’re going to ask, they’re not… how you say… redneck.”

“Pun intended?” I asked.

“Hmm, friends of Ponyville you say?” Royal Ribbon asked. “By the looks of it, they do look Canterlot material, but I say, that red one looks awfully familiar.”

“Madam, I assure you, ponies shouldn’t be judged by the color of their coat. This is a free land, if I do say so myself.” I said.

“Excuse me?” Royal Ribbon asked.

“Umm… heheh,” Rarity chuckled nervously. “Have I mentioned that these two are friends of Princess Luna?”

“Friends of Princess Luna you say?” Jet Set asked.

“Hmm. Not as fancy as being friends with Princess Celestia, but I guess it’ll do.” Upper Crust said. For Wizard of Hope’s sake! These ponies are so uptight, it’s annoying! And ponies say I’m the annoying one!

“Why you three come and sit down?” Fleur offered. “We are very delighted to meet some new ponies. We always have room for new companions!” The three of us were finding chairs to sit in, but only single chairs were available, not numerous chairs in a row.

“Excuse me, miss? I’d like to reserve a seat for my companion Psyche? I like sitting next to ponies I’m close with.” I requested from Lyrica.

“Sounds romantic! Two life-long partners would do anything to sit next to eachother! It is so divine!” Lyrica said. Psyche and I both blushed in embarrassment. “And they even wear clothes to match their partner’s coat!”

“On second thought, I’ll be seeing him later tonight anyway.” I said. Psyche embarrassingly facehooves himself after I said that. “Did I mention we have two double beds in our hotel room?”

“HA HA HA!” Rarity laughed embarrassingly and clears her throat. “Yes, Flare here is a joker, but he’s such a gentlecolt when you get to know him.”

“I agree! I’m starting to like our new companions already!” Fancypants said.

“So, Sir Flare…” Royal Riff started.

“Please. Sir Flare is my father. I prefer to be called… Sir Flare of dat Mareami heat.” I insisted.

“Very well, Sir Flare of dat Mareami heat. What do you do for a living?” Royal Riff asked.

“I work at a fine pizza joint. The classiest dining in all of Equestria. Princess Luna herself says so.” I said. “Flare’s Pizza Parlor, it is called.”

“Flare’s Pizza Parlor? My, my, sounds like a delightful little business.” Royal Riff said.

“It’s the best it could be!” I said. While I was talking, Psyche reaches inside his robe, takes out his family crest, and hides it under the table. He takes a look at it, and try to find out what’s so special about it. “I serve only the finest ingredients I could fine. Apple family apples for example. The classiest apples in all of Equestria! I only use the fanciest, most expensive, and classiest supplies for my shop. My silverware is actually made from real silver, and after every meal, I throw them away, and new ones take their place.”

“You don’t say?” Caesar asked.

“Well, I don’t really ‘throw them away’, as you can see I like to recycle. I donate them to the poor soup kitchens for the homeless. They may not be that classy, but they are still ponies, and I must do what I can to make sure everypony stays strong and fit for the dangers of life ahead.” I explained dramatically.

“Such a rustic pony! I am very impressed!” Fancypants said. “Miss Rarity, you outdone yourself this time!”

“I am very pleased to hear you say that, Fancypants! All my friends are the best ponies they could be!” Rarity said.

“How about you, Mr. Illusion?” Upper Crust asked.

“Wha-?” Psyche asked surprisingly as he hides his family crest.

“Can you tell us a bit about yourself, good sir?” Upper Crust asked.

“Oh there’s nothing much really to say about my life.” Psyche said. “I’m only an astronomer. I study space, I research it, and whatever I discover, I send it in, and I get awarded in science awards for my fascinating discoveries! I must say, the cosmos really fascinate me!”

“That’s real nice, Mr. Illusion, but tell us how you met your life-long partner, Sir Flare Gun of dat Mareami heat?” Upper Crust requests.

“Ok, we’re not life-long partners, alright? We’re just close friends.” Psyche said.

“Too embarrassed to admit your true feelings? It is a shame really, but I wouldn’t blame you whatsoever.” Lyrica said. “We all find your ways very divine!”

“What?” Psyche asked.

“Yes! Yes! Flare and Psyche here really adore eachother as a couple!” Rarity said. I looked over at Psyche and pointed to Rarity, and moved my mouth like I was saying ‘what?’ and Psyche shrugs and shakes his head. “I mean, it’s a pretty romantic story! They both met at the royal wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Shining Armor, and even though they had their differences, things escalated pretty quick. They knew they were made for eachother, but no matter what happens, they always supported eachother, and Flare here… he can really cook himself a divine looking pizza! Business has been really going up for him at his pizza shop at Ponyville, but Flare here cries himself to sleep every night because of the fact that not many ponies have been going to his Canterlot shop! It is so dreadful! So horrible!” Rarity started talking dramatically. “He needs to pay the bills somehow! Did you know he lives in a trailer?”

“My goodness! How horrifying!” Swan Dive gasped.

“I say, Sir Flare, if it really helps you, we’ll all eat at your pizza shop.” Perfect Pace said. “I assure you that, as a matter of fact, we’ll go there every day for lunch or for dinner, or for linner. We’ll help your business big time, so you and your stallionfriend can move out of that disgusting trailer!”

“Disgusting trailer?” I asked insultingly. “Ok first off-“ just then, Rarity shakes her head at me nervously. I know she’s trying to help me out, but saying lies about me doesn’t make me feel good inside, and by the looks of it, this is bothering Psyche just as much as it’s bothering me. “Miss Rarity is absolutely right.” I said. “I’ll do anything to keep my business afloat for me, and for my…. Errr….” I looked over at Psyche as he was putting his head under the tablecloth. I didn’t know at the time that he was working on his family crest, because I thought he was putting his head under the tablecloth because he’s embarrassed, and I didn’t blame him. “For me and for my… good friends.” I said.

“And your stallionfriend.” Perfect Pace added.

“Groans.” I mumbled to myself.

“I beg your pardon?” Perfect Pace asked.

“If you please excuse me, I have to… powder my nose.” I said.

“But aren’t you a stallion?” Masquerade asked.

“I thought ‘powder your nose’ meant ‘going to the bathroom’ in fancy talk?” I asked.

“That’s how a mare says it.” Masquerade said.

“Well what can you expect?” Rarity asked embarrassingly. “Ironically, Flare here is the mare in the relationship.” I was really doing my best to hold my temper, and I know Rarity’s going out of her way to help my business, but this is going WAAAY out of proportion!

“Please, excuse me.” I said as I was about to walk out.

“Linner is served!” Fancypants’ butler said as a bunch of chefs started walking out of the kitchen with a bunch of platters. 

“Actually, come to think of it, I’ll wait till after I eat.” I said as I smiled and sat back down. “I can never interrupt anything for a nitrous meal!”

“I couldn’t agree more!” Masquerade said. “Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Illusion?”

“Sure.” Psyche said as he was concentrated on his crest.

“Mr. Illusion, are you working on something?” Masquerade asked.

“No.” Psyche lied as he looked back up at her. “No I’m just… you know… I get a little hyper when I’m hungry.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t blame you!” Masquerade agreed.

“Bon appetite!” the butler said as he removes the cover of my platter, and on the platter was just a little piece of… something. Looked like it was made from oats and a few other ingredients, but it was only 3 inches. Tall or long you may ask. 3 inches is the total measurement. It’s 1 ½ inch tall, and 1 ½ inch long.

“Oh how delightful! The appetizer is here!” I said. “I could use a nice appetizer before the main course!”

“Beg your pardon, Sir Flare, but this IS the main course.” Caesar corrected me.

“This is the main course?” I asked. “How many calories does it have? At least it might not cost much.”

“Actually, in a normal restaurant, these little bites are worth 30 bits each!”

“30 bits for this little thing?” I complained. “Is this all you Canterlot ponies eat? Why are some of you so fat then?!” Everypony immediately freezes after I said that. Now I’ve been holding in my tongue for a while, and I might be able to take some of the uber garbage gossip that Rarity’s been spreading around, but NOPONY gets between me and food!

“Fat? I beg your pardon, good sir?” a fat mare complained. “But this is what us ‘Canterlot ponies’ you call us eat all the time. It has much more calories that you think.”

A cutaway shows the fat mare in her bedroom at her house eating a bunch of brownies in a paranoid fashion. “They must NEVER know!” she said nervously. The cutaway ends.

“Please excuse Flare here for his temper. He barely has anything to eat sometimes.” Rarity said as she walked over to me and placed her hooves on my shoulders.

“I own a pizza shop. How can I have barely anything to eat?” I asked.

“You wouldn’t eat your inventory, would you?” Rarity asked.

“Perhaps, if I have no choice.” I said.

“Please, think of your business, Flare!” Rarity whispered. “I’m helping you get business! You need it!”

“Sigh.” I said. “Yes, I’m a starving young pony that doesn’t even eat his inventory.  I think of all other ponies before myself.”

“It’s ok, Flare. We’ll give you something better to eat!” Fancypants offered. “We’ll just take that plate from you, and-“

“Oh no that won’t be necessary.” I insited. “I mean, I do want another meal, but I’ll just keep this as an appetizer. I hate to waste food.”

“Ok if you say so.” Fancypants shrugged. Later that night after the linner party ended, everypony was leaving Fancypants’ manor. “Goodbye everypony! Thank you for joining on this wonderful occasion! You have a great night, Rarity! I’ll see you at the art show tomorrow!”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Rarity said.

“Oh and bring Flare and Psyche along with you. I find them incredibly rustic!” Fancypants said.

“They’ll be delighted!” Rarity said.

“Then I must wish you a good night, Miss Rarity!” Fancypants said and bows. “See you tomorrow!” he closes the door.

“Flare? Psyche? I know what you’re going to say, and-“ Rarity was about to say, but we both just ignored her and walked away.

“Psyche, I am so sorry for dragging you into this. I had NO clue this was going to happen.” I said to him.

“It’s not YOUR fault, Flare!” Psyche said angrily as he glared at Rarity.

“Are you talking to me or Rarity?” I asked. “Because you said my name but you’re looking at Rarity.”

“I’m in no mood right now for this, Flare. Let’s just get to the hotel room.” Psyche said.

“I’m not even so sure if I want to be in the same room with you after tonight!” I admitted.

“I wouldn’t blame you.” Psyche said as we continued walking.

“Flare, Psyche, please! I am so sorry about tonight! I really am!” Rarity said as she followed us. “But can you please hear me out?”

“I’m sorry, do you hear something, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah, I hear Rarity talking to us, but we’re ignoring her, and- oh, I see what you’re doing.” I understood.

“I’m only thinking of your business, Flare! Don’t you want me to get you business at your Canterlot shop? You kept saying you did!” Rarity said.

“Yes I did.” I said as I turned to her. “But I didn’t even ask for your help to help me change who I am! You keep lying about me-“

“And me.” Psyche added.

“Yeah, no one cares, Psyche.” I said, then I said to Rarity, “Not to mention you keep giving me advice to be a Canterlot pony? I don’t even LIKE them!”

“Oh.” My friend Adventure Blade said as he walked away.

“Not you, Addie! You’re cool! It’s the uptight ones I can’t stand!” I said.

“Addie’s from Canterlot, huh?” Psyche asked.

“He comes here to see his dad once every other weekend.” I said.

“I’m sorry, Flare. I’m just thinking about your business.” Rarity said.

“Next time you want to help me with my business, how about you ask me first, huh?” I asked as Psyche and I both walked away, leaving Rarity alone in front of Fancypants’ house.

“And I thought Psyche was going to mess this up.” Rarity said sadly. “Heh. Then when Flare messes up, I’m going to say ‘I thought I was going to mess this up’.” She chuckled awkwardly. “Oh, but what have I done?” She’s really asking herself that? She KNOWS what she did! She doesn’t have to ask herself that question! So Psyche and I returned to our hotel and turned in for the night. Psyche, however, didn’t go to sleep. He was too busy with his family crest. He kept working on it in the bathroom. At the time, I thought he just had a stomach ache. I sure did! That little thing I thought was an appetizer had more calories than I thought. That fat mare was right. Guess I can’t underestimate food sometimes, huh?

The next day came, and Rarity was getting ready to go to the art show. She puts on a ‘divine’ dress as well as some shades and a sunhat, and then she sighs and said, “Don’t let yesterday bother you, Rarity. You still have an art show to go to.” She then smiles and says to her cat, “I’ll be back here tonight, Opal! Don’t wait up!” Rarity then walks out of her hotel room and is on her way to the art show. Back at the room, Opal takes out a cell phone calls another cat. “Meow, meowmeow, meowmeowmeow, meow.” Opal said on the phone.

A cutaway shows the other cat wearing a black leather jacket and black sunglasses which says, “Meow meow, meowmeow, meow.” The black leather jacket cat then hangs up his phone, takes out a sniper rifle since it’s a hitcat, and then he aims his rifle at the mouse hole outside of Rarity’s boutique. The cat then shoots the rifle at a mouse trap by the hole, and out of the gun came a piece of cheese that landed on the trap. The cat then throws his rifle aside and waits.

“Oh boy! Cheese! Eating gems nonstop sure is making me hungry!” Spike said excitedly as he pops out of the shop and was just about to grab it, but then he triggers the trap on his finger, which didn’t hurt him a bit. “Armored scales. Gotta love ‘em!” He then eats the cheese, but then he spits it out quickly. “Yuck! Provolone!” The cutaway ends.

A while later over at the Canterlot Convention Center, Rarity shows her ticket to the guard and the guard allows her in, and that’s when she met up with Fancypants. “Ah, Miss Rarity! Good to see you; and I think I need to make up a new greeting for you because that one’s getting old.” Fancypants said.

“Hello Fancypants, darling!” Rarity said.

“I say, where are those two friends of yours?” Fancypants asked.

“Oh, I’m… I’m sorry, Fancypants, but… they won’t be joining us today.” Rarity said upsettingly.

“Oh… I’m so sorry for your loss, Miss Rarity. They were truly rustic ponies. It’s a shame that they’re not with us anymore.” Fancypants said upsettingly.

“What are you talking about?” Rarity asked.

“Didn’t they pass away?” Fancypants asked.

“No!” Rarity corrected him. “I just seemed to humiliate them a bit last night, so they didn’t want to come.”

“Oh.” Fancypants understood. “Hey it’s quite alright, Rarity. I understand what they’re going through. Hey if they decide to ever join us again, my companions and I will give them the incredible day they desire.”

“Why don’t we start with today, my good chap?” I asked as I walked in wearing my fancy tuxedo again but this time with a purple hat and a cane, making me look like Willie Wonka.

“Ah! Sir Flare Gun of dat Mareami heat! Good to see you again, lad! Where’s that…” Fancypants clears his throat, “friend of yours?”

“He’s got work to do today so he won’t be joining us, but I will!” I said.

“Flare! I am so glad you’re here, darling!” Rarity said.

“I’m glad to be here too, Miss Rarity!” I said. “I am quite surprised you’re here today though.”

“What do you mean, dear?” Rarity asked.

“I mean doesn’t your cat have to get that mad cat disease shot?” I asked.

“The what now?” Rarity asked.

“Mad Cat Disease shot. You know, the shot that cures mad cat disease? I mean if you don’t do that, your cat will be going around town, scratching ponies, and affecting them with…” dramatic music plays in the background as the camera zooms to my face. “Mad Cat Disease.” Once I was done saying that, my friend Addie turns off the stereo playing the music and then he runs off. “That was Addie.” I said.

“Flare,” Rarity clears her throat, “my cat doesn’t have-“

“Oh Rarity, you obviously don’t have the money for the shot, do you?” I asked dramatically. “Oh Rarity, you really need more ponies to buy some dresses at your shop so you can raise money for the cure!”

“Oh my!” Fleur Dis Lee gasped. “Oh I must buy a dress from you in advance right away! Anything for your poor cat!”

After a short silence, Rarity asks, “Say what now?” 

“Miss Rarity, have I ever told you that I have connections to various fashion artists? Perhaps I could set you up with one of my business associates, Hoity Toity and he could set you up with tons of appointments! Anyway, before we discuss details, how about we go enjoy the Canterlot art show, hmm?” Fancypants suggested as he walks away with Fleur.

“I know what you’re trying to do, Flare.” Rarity said to me.

“Why, whatever are you talking about, madam?” I asked as I fixed my tie.

“Drop the charade, mister. What you’re doing isn’t funny.” Rarity said.

“I say, I seem to be having a blast!” I said.

Rarity pouts and says, “Go ahead, Flare. Do your worse. This doesn’t bother me one bit. I did the same to you last night, I could do it again tonight.”

“Do what, my dear?” I asked mischievously, like a sir.

“Just watch your back, mister. You’re going to need it.” Rarity said as she walks away.

“You better watch your back too, Miss Rarity, because there seems to be something on it.” I said.

“What are you talking abou- AAAAH! SPIDER! GROSS!” Rarity panicked as there was a spider on her back and she started running.

So after a while at the Canterlot art show, I was hanging out with some of Fancypants’ companions as they were drinking some cider out of little cocktail glasses. Upper Crust was in the middle of telling a joke to everypony, “And so I said, are you sure that’s scarf, or is it a dirty raddle snake that somehow landed on your neck?” And then everypony in the group started laughing with those weird uptight laughs of theirs.

“I… I don’t get it.” I said.

“It’s funny because it’s such an ugly, most hideous scarf! UGH!” Jet Set explained hesitantly.

“How in any way is that funny?” I asked.

“Oh? Then let’s hear you make up a clever and funny joke, good sir.” Sealed Scroll suggested.

“With pleasure! Humiliating jokes are my specialties!” I said. “Did you know Rarity is actually an evolved marshmallow?”

“Everypony knows that.” Sealed Scroll said.

“Oh… well… did you know 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on carriage insurance?” I asked.

“Hmm… I haven’t thought of that. Pretty clever.” Sealed Scroll nodded. Everypony else nodded in agreement.

“Well did you also know that Rarity uses the leading brand of insurance companies?” I asked. Everypony then gasped.

“How could she do that?!” Royal Ribbon panicked. “Only the poor use the leading brand insurance companies! Like only the poor use DSL!”

“Or Dial-Up.” I added as I started making the Dial-Up noise.

“What an absurd noise that is!” Caesar said.

“Only 90s ponies would know that sound. Hello! I’m trying to talk to somepony on the phone! Can’t you shut down the internet?” I asked in my normal voice, and then I said in a lady voice, “I can’t, dear. I’m paying bills. Your friends are going to have to wait!” then I said in my normal voice, “What have those companies ever done for you?” The Canterlot ponies started to laugh, but not one of their snoofy laughs. Their laughs sounded real. It would seem I made an actual funny.

“You like that one, huh?” I asked. “Ok this is something I’d like to call the overwhelming clothing designer. This clothes designer I know I was like ‘hello darling, what can I do for you?’ and I was like ‘Can you show me where the bathroom is?’ and she was like ‘You have to buy something first dearie, store policy.’ I HAVE to use the bathroom! So you know what I did?”

“What?” Caesar asked.

“I peed on the building!” I said.

“UGH!” Rarity gasped insultingly. “Well I never!”

“Did you get caught?” Lyrica asked.

“Nope! She just blamed her cat.” I said.

“What?! I never did- ugh! I was trying to help him with business! This is just insulting!” Rarity said angrily. “Well… two can play at this game!”

Anyways, let’s check on Psyche for a moment. Back at the observatory, Psyche was using some of the tools in his lab to find out what’s inside his family crest. He was using a screwdriver, a wrench, a hammer, a pickaxe, a jackhammer, a blowtorch, but nothing was working. “Hmm… what else is pretty sharp and intimidating?” Psyche leans over to his family crest and said to it, “I’m taking away your dessert for a week!” but nothing happened. “Well, I tried. How am I going to get this darn thing opened?”

Just then, behind Psyche, the observatory door opens and Princess Luna as well as my friend Addie starts walking inside. “Really now? I find that hard to believe.” Luna said.

“It’s true though. Noodles are actually a liquid, not a solid.” Addie said.

“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Luna said. “Noodles are a solid, you can actually pick it up.”

“But it’s soggy like a liquid.” Addie said. “In short, noodles are actually a liquid.”

“Hey if that’s your opinion, I’m not one to judge.” Luna said.

“It’s a fact.” Addie said.

“Uh huh. Anyways, I have to talk to a sane pony right now. How about we meet up later, Adventure Blade?” Luna suggested.

“Oh, ok. Bye.” Addie said as he walks away.

Luna then turned to Psyche and said, “Psyche Illusion. What’s the status with the family crest?”

“I don’t talk military-speak, your highness.” Psyche said.

“Hmm… charming as always.” Luna said.

“I can’t seem to open this thing, princess!” Psyche explained in a temper-tone. “I tried everything! I tried every type of tool I can think of! There’s obviously something inside and I have to find out what it is! This is suspense is killing me!”

“First of all, Psyche…. Hello, good to see you.” Luna started.

“Hi, Luna.” Psyche said.

“Second of all, the first thing you should do is calm down. Losing your temper will never solve your problem.” Luna suggested.

“You’re right, princess. I apologize.” Psyche said.

“No matter.” Luna said. “You say there’s something inside of the crest?”

“Yes. Officer Nickels wanted this crest for a reason. We know it’s not to sell. There’s something more valuable about it then it seems.” Psyche said.

“Didn’t we go through that already?” Luna asked.

“Right, of course.” Psyche nodded. “But what doesn’t make sense to me is that I know, I guarantee that there’s something inside, and yet there’s no opening. Whatever was put inside the crest must’ve been in there when it was built, but what?”

“Perhaps we should take a look at what’s inside without opening it.” Luna suggested.

“And how are we going to do that? X-Ray vision?” Psyche asked. “You have a spell for that?”

“No I do not.” Luna said.

“Oh… then how are we going to see what’s inside?” Psyche asked.

“X-Ray goggles, of course.” Luna said as she takes out some X-Ray goggles and gives them to Psyche.

“Where in Equestria did you get these?” Psyche asked. “How can you find something as advanced as this? Did you find it in some experimental high security lab, or something?”

“No. I got it from Red Engineer’s house. He offered it.” Luna said.

“Oh… right. Of course, he… he has a pair of these goggles.” Psyche remembered. Just then there was a moment of awkward silence. “Have I ever told you that I have a crush on Octavia?”

“No I haven’t.” Luna said.

“Ok.” Psyche said as he puts on the X-Ray goggles and looks over at his family crest. “Hmm.”

“What do you see?” Luna asked.

“So far, nothing. I didn’t activate these yet.” Psyche said as he activates the X-Ray goggles.

“Then what were you hmmming about?” Luna asked.

“Huh? Oh nothing. Just figuring out why I like Octavia. Maybe it’s the eyes. We do share the same color eyes.” Psyche said.

“You see anything yet?” Luna asked.

“No I don’t, it’s really weird.” Psyche said as he looks over at Luna. “The family crest is completely- WHOA, GOODNESS!”

“What? What’s wrong?” Luna asked.

“That is just scary.” Psyche said as he looks down at Luna’s stomach. “Are those burritos in your stomach? Isn’t it a little too early for that?”

“I’m a princess. I don’t live by mortal pony rules. That includes mortal pony diets.” Luna said. Psyche continued staring at Luna’s stomach. Luna snaps her hooves on Psyche’s face. “Eyes up here.”

“Sorry, I’m just looking at there is some bacteria in the burritos.” Psyche said.

“Did I mention I don’t live by mortal pony rules? That means I don’t live by mortal pony diseases.” Luna said. “Anyways, we’re getting off topic. What were you saying, Psyche Illusion?”

“I was just saying that my family crest… it’s… it’s completely empty. There’s nothing in there at all.” Psyche said as he takes off the goggles. “I don’t get it. What could Officer Nickels possibly want with this crest? Does he want to sell it for money or something? I don’t know. Maybe Flare’s right. Maybe Officer Nickels was just giving me a lot of bologna.” Hey, real quick, before I continue, I wanted to point out that the only reason I can spell ‘bologna’ is if I sing the Oscar Myer song. It’s weird, ain’t it? Alright, continue.

“Are you sure about that, Psyche Illusion?” Luna asked.

“No I’m not sure.” Psyche said. “I really think there’s something in here, but… ugh! It’s complicated, Princess Luna.”

“Psyche Illusion, if we truly want to get something done, we wouldn’t give up, or force it. Using plain tools to force it open will not help you find your answer. Sometimes taking a step forward is taking two steps back.” Luna said.

“What are you trying to say?” Psyche asked.

“Just think about it for a minute. Why do you want to open this family crest?” Luna asked.

“Because… what Officer Nickels said has been bothering me for days. My mother… she left for a purpose.” Psyche said. “I have a hard time believing that, but…”

“But what?” Luna asked.

“But… somewhere in my brain is telling me otherwise. Something is really telling me Officer Nickels is right.” Psyche said as he takes out his locket with the picture of his mother on it. You remember the locket, right? The one Psyche lost a long time ago in the sewer but I brought it back? Yep! That was definitely a good vacation despite the circumstances! “My mother.” Psyche said upsettingly. “My only family I ever had. Princess Luna, you probably don’t understand how I feel. Most ponies are there are lucky to have what they got.”

“As am I, Psyche, but as a princess, I live… a very long time.” Luna said. “The friends I had thousands of years ago, I…” Luna starts to tear up. “I never… I nev- I never got to… say goodbye.”

“Oh… please… I apologize, Luna! I didn’t… I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Psyche said.

“No its ok, Psyche Illusion.” Luna said. “It’s actually been bothering me since even after I got…” she sniffles, “…after I got banished to the moon. But it won’t end there. I’m going to lose more friends in the future.” Psyche gives Luna a box of tissues. “Thank you.” She said and blows her nose. “But I learned not to… not to let it bother me that much. I expected as much, and I’ll get over it, but I’ll never get used to it.”

“C’mere.” Psyche insisted as he hugged her. “For every loss of one friend, there will be a gain for another. I just… I just hope those I love will notice it when the time comes.”

“What?” Luna asked.

“Umm… nothing.” Psyche said as he releases his hug. “That was just gibberish talk. I’m just saying those I love will also experience it sooner or later if they haven’t before. Blaze did, I know that. Definitely Aqua. Crystal, Engie, and Flare, I’m not too sure about.”

“Well, like you said from one loss comes a new gain. Perhaps if you lose something, it might be an answer to the gain.” Luna said.

“Yeah.” Psyche nodded. Just then, something popped up in his brain. He had an idea so good that he knew it would work. “Wait a minute… WAIT A MINUTE! That’s it! Luna, you’re a genius!”

“I’ve been around for over a thousand years. I know my education.” Luna teased.

“My mother gave me this locket of her when I was just a foal, and she’s been protecting our family crest for years. What if…” Psyche takes his locket off of his neck and he places it on top of the family crest. Just then, both of them started glowing. The family crest combined with Psyche’s necklace creates a particular magic that is making the crest activate. 

Just then, when the crest was activating, something unparticular happened. The necklace had a strange glow that made- Meanwhile back with Rarity and I, I was still telling those jokes to the Canterlot ponies, and I gotta say, they were having a great time! “There are a lot of ponies that think this stylist is wasting her magic on something like this! Where are the lasers? I got plenty of laser magic, but this stylist, she has no cool lasers!”

The other ponies laughed. “It’s true, lasers are indeed a fabulous type of magic.” Caesar said.

“I sure feel bad for this stylist, Sir Flare.” Swan Dive said. “I would never get my clothes from her! She sounds awful!”

”She is!” I said.

“I’m sorry, who’s awful?” Rarity asked angrily at me as she joined us.

“Just this one stylist. You might know her, Rare. I’m not sure.” I said.

“Perhaps some day in the future she might be a crazy cat lady!” Royal Ribbon said. “Ugh! Tragic!” the other ponies laughed.

“Hey just like some of this art. Ugh! Such a disgrace to art everywhere!” Jet Set said.

“Ok that’s enough!” Rarity said angrily. “I have a confession to make. Sir Flare Gun of dat Mareami heat is not who you think he is.”

”I disagree.” Upper Crust said. “We realized we were wrong to judge this poor pony by his personality. We never had this much… how you say… fun, in an art show in our entire lives!”

”Sir Flare Gun of dat Mareami heat, we apologize for judging you and calling you a child.” Jet Set said. “If we only realized how hard you’ve been working to get your poor business up in shape. Stress gets the better of all of us.”

”No worries, Jet Set!” I said.

”He’s nothing like that stylist pony THAT’S for sure.” Upper Crust said.

“I lied.” Rarity said. “This pony here is not called Sir Flare Gun of dat Mareami heat. His name is just Flare Gun, and he’s not poor. His business in Ponyville is in great shape, and he can afford food. In fact he can afford a whole warehouse full of it.”

”I wouldn’t say that.” I said.

“Also he doesn’t have a stallionfriend. That purple pony, Psyche Illusion, he’s just a friend.” Rarity said.

“Don’t call ponies by their colors, Rare.” I informed her.

“And Flare here is DEFINITALY NOT a gentlecolt! He’s a big weirdo that thinks everything is a joke! He hates the word ‘sir’, he uses slangs, and he doesn’t think before he speaks, because he forgets that I lied and covered his back just to help him with his business, but the thanks he gives me is that he puts me down right in front of the most important ponies in Canterlot! So yeah, I’m sorry I lied. I was wrong to cover him for this.” Rarity said.

Everypony looked over at me. “Is it true?” Upper Crust asked.

“You know it to be true, sista! And you know what? I never wanted to be a gentlecolt in the first place!” I said. “It’s not who I am! Yes, Rarity covered for me for my business, but she’s a good pony for doing so! I mean yes she did lie to you… again, but for a good purpose! It was embarrassing, yes, and she probably used the wrong lies, but she was doing what was best for me! I wanted business in Canterlot, but I don’t need YOUR business! You know why? Because the bunch of you are uptight jerks that think they’re soooooo cool! Think you’re better than everypony else! Your jokes are unfunny, and you judge ponies by the way they look, act, and even their art! OH like you can even do better! I’ve never seen YOUR art! You think you can beat these ponies? No of course not. Canterlot, a city full of miserable, uptight idiots! So I’m sorry if you think I’m a child, but me being myself is all I got here! Being myself…. And a room full of you losers!”

All of the ponies were in shock after I said that. “Nopony has ever stood up to us like that before.” Sealed Scroll said surprisingly. 

“That’s because most ponies are NICE! But I’m not always nice. I admit that.” I said. “But at least I admit it. I don’t think I’m better than everypony else! Anyways, I’d go on, but I believe I made my point.” I then turned to Rarity. “And Rarity, I’m really sorry, but I didn’t ask for you to help me with my business. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all you did, but you embarrassed me, and Psyche. Only I embarrass Psyche. Also, B-T-W, I wasn’t talking about you. There’s a pony that owns a boutique here in Canterlot that’s such a witch to other ponies! That’s right I said ‘witch’! Sue me for hate crime! I would never hate on you Rarity. You’re one of the most fabulous ponies I know, don’t forget that. I thank you for your generosity in helping me, but don’t change who I am. I want business in Canterlot, but not if it means turning me into the type of pony I’m not!” I then walked away angrily.

“Flare, wait!” Rarity called out. She started to feel bad, because  what I said made her learn something. She then got angry and looked back at the ponies I was hanging out with. “Flare’s right! Why do I have to make him a gentlecolt just to impress you! It’s like what I did in the past! I lied about myself just so I can be popular! But now I see the error of my ways, and he’s right, you all are a bunch of uptight jerks that judge ponies by the way they look and do! Not everypony is like you, you know! Everypony is different, and you have to accept it.”

”She is right.” Fancypants said. “Most of you only like her because I like her. I find her pretty divine, but that doesn’t mean you have to think so too. I’m rich, I’m handsome, but I’m not your mentor.” Fancypants then looked over to Rarity and said, “Please, Miss Rarity, allow me to apologize for all of this nonsense my companions have been giving you. Me having dearest respects for you has been giving you false business.”

”I wouldn’t say that, Fancypants. I do everything I could for my business, but my self-esteem, and for the will of my friends, I forgot about what was truly important.” Rarity said.

“Like what you thought about me, right? You only respect me because I’m an important pony, right?” Fancypants asked.

“At first, yes, but now I know you personally, and I think you were simply…” Rarity giggles a bit, “…rustic!”

Fancypants chuckles along. “Much appreciated, Miss Rarity! Now I believe you have a friend to apologize to.”

“I do!” Rarity nodded in agreement as she ran off.

“Fancypants, did you mean everything you said?” Fleur Dis Lee asked.

“Pfft! Not everything! I still pay you all to listen to me to have the same opinions as me!” Fancypants said.

A little while later, at my Canterlot shop, I removed my tux and fancy clothing and went back to wearing my vest, and I was watching some TV while eating a sundae.

“Tonight, on Ox.” The TV announcer started. “Is your hayburgers made from processed hay? Also what’s the difference between hayburgers and oatburgers? Plus, if pegasi are in control of the weather, why does it snow in April? CEO of the Cloudsdale Weather Factory gives us details.”

“Sometimes we need to bring out surprises to our fellow ponies. It makes nature interesting, and it gives us more money because we are a huge corporation that doesn’t seem to ever have enough.” The CEO said.

“With the Elements of Harmony gone, does that mean more disharmony would spread throughout Equestria?” the TV announcer asked.

”Don’t ask me!” Discord said on the TV. “I was the first to know about this, and do you see any chaos anywhere?”

”HELP! A smiley is slashing all of my prices!” a pony in the background cried out.

“All these questions will be answered tonight, only on Ox!” the TV announcer said. “Ox News, we give you stories that you already know about!”

Just then, Rarity walked into my shop, looked around for me, and when she found me, she walked to me and asked, “Mind if I sit with you?”

”Sure.” I said. Just then, Rarity sat down across from me. “I said sure I do mind. But, meh, whatever. You’re here. I guess I owe you a-“

”Flare, I wanted to-“ Rarity interrupted, but before she could continue, she realized she was talking over me. “You first.”

”No you first. It’s lady’s first, right?” I asked.

”A true gentlecolt!” Rarity said. “Flare, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you last night and then telling the truth about you after.”

”You were only thinking about my business, Rare.” I said as one of my employees, the crystal pony one, went over to our table and asked Rarity for a drink.

“Can I get you something, miss?” the employee asked.

“Just a glass of water, no lemon, please?” Rarity asked.

“Coming right up.” The employee said as he walks off.

“You’re just like my grandma.” I said.

”I’m not sure how I should take that.” Rarity said in a disturbed tone.

“Sorry, was that insulting?” I asked.

”Yeah a bit.” Rarity said.

“Oh, my bad.” I said. “Anyways, you were only thinking about my business.”

”Hey, us business ponies need to stick together, right?” Rarity asked. “I’ve been through where you are. I have to be honest with you, when I first started Carousel Boutique, I kinda… told some lies to gain business.”

”You did?” I asked.

”Yes. These ponies pitied me, and that’s how I gained business at first. I mean, I’m an honest worker now.” Rarity explained.

“So you thought lying for me is how you give me business?” I asked.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I guess I was wrong.” Rarity said.

“I really do appreciate your help, Rare. I really do, but would it hurt to talk it through me first before doing it?” I asked.

“I guess the lying idea doesn’t work on everypony, does it?” Rarity chuckled.

“Hey, you’re the Element of Generosity, not Honesty, so I wouldn’t blame you.” I said. “At least your prices are pretty short at your shop!”

”Heh! Yeah.” Rarity nodded as she received her drink. “But Flare, what you told me what you needed to tell me back at the art show, I learned that- excuse me, I asked for NO lemon!”

”My apologies, madam.” The employee said as he takes her drink.

“What part of ‘no lemon’ do you not understand?” Rarity mumbled; she then continued. “What you told me back at the art show, I learned something. I’ve been trying so hard to impress these ponies that I forgot about how uptight and judgmental they are.”

”No offense, Rare, but aren’t you the same way?” I asked.

“I keep the comments to myself, Flare.” Rarity said. “It’s ok if they think that, but just don’t be so rude about it. That’s all I’m saying, darling.”

”It’s true.” I agreed.

“But once again, Flare. I apologize and I thank you for everything.” Rarity said as she places her hoof on my Blessings of the Night, and it starts glowing.

“Hey I should be thanking you for helping me, Rare! You took your time to help me! I mean I had to go through some embarrassment, but you tried, and that’s what matters right?” I asked.

“Hey, what can I say, darling? I’m the type of pony, eveypony, everypony should know!” Rarity said.

“Yep, and I’m the type of phoney, everyphoney, everyphoney should know!” I said.

Rarity chuckled. “No doubt about it!”

”Excuse me, Sir Flare?” Fancypants asked as he walks inside my shop along with the other Canterlot ponies. “Mind if we order something from this brilliant establishment?”

”That depends. Why are you here?” I asked.

“The lies don’t matter. We are thrilled to be customers on this divine atmospheric restaurant you have!” Caesar said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Indeed, that, and also Princess Celestia is here.” Lyrica added. Over at the other end of the shop, Princess Celestia was eating some pasta. I then glared at the ponies.

“Who cares if it’s false business, Flare?” Rarity asked me.

”I don’t!” I said excitedly. “Time to fill these ponies with food full of love! I’m making money after all, right?” Rarity smiled at me and agreed.

Ok, my story is over, let’s finish Psyche’s! Back at the hotel room, after all of the glowing, Princess Luna and Psyche were just gaining back their sights after seeing nothing but huge blurs. “What has happened, princess?” Psyche asked.

“We are about to find out.” Luna said.

“Hello, Psyche!” a holographic pony said while shining on top of the connected family crest and locket.

“Wait a minute…” Psyche said surprisingly. “No! It can’t be! You are… you are…”

”I’m your mother, Psyche.” The pony hologram said.

“Really?” Psyche asked.

“Well… a holographic A.I. of your mother to be exact. See, before… I left you, I put my memories and personality into this rare magic artifact I discovered.”

”Mom, I… I…” Psyche stuttered.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions, Psyche, but I’ve been waiting to speak to you.” Psyche’s mom said. “Now that you’ve finally discovered the secrets within the necklace I gave you, and our family crest, there are things you are now ready to hear.”

”What kind of things? Mom, what’s going on? Did you leave me for a reason? I am so confused right now!” Psyche freaked out.

”Patience, son. I will give you every answer you need to know when the time comes; but for now, I want you to listen to me… very carefully.” Psyche’s mom said.

Ooooo, this is getting interesting now! I’ll just end it here before things get TOO interesting. Anyways, once Psyche’s mom gave Psyche the information he needed to know, and after everything was done here in Canterlot, he, Rarity, and I all went back to Ponyville, but before we returned, I bucked Psyche on the shoulder, and threatened to break his telescope if he ever touches my sacred rubber duck again.