Changes in Attitudes
Happy New Year! We’re in the middle of January of 2013, and so far…. HA! No end of the world! These predictions are so stupid! I mean really! It’s been a couple of days after New Years, Pinkie made a New Years party, and it was a blast for sure! You should’ve seen how wasted Psyche and Derpy were in the party….. and me! Plus it sounded like there was a war outside. Sounded like everypony was shooting each other. I dunno why though. Anyways, it all starts off with me waking up the next morning after the party.
“Ugh! What happened?” I asked myself, rubbing my head. I looked around and saw the messy Sugarcube Corner kitchen, and then it all started coming back to me. “Oh yeah, the party! I must’ve past out in the Sugarcube Corner kitchen……. On the ceiling.” I eventually fell off the ceiling and landed on the floor. I was a complete mess. I was walking around really silly, since I was pretty exhausted. “Pinkie, sista! Whoa, girl! We gotta do this more often!”
Pinkie giggled as she woke up from her couch. “But we do this every weekend!”
“Exactly! We do this every weekend like…. You look really pretty right now Pinkie! I smell bad! I also have to go to the bathroom.” I said insanely as I rubbed my head. “Ugh! I have such headache!”
“No kidding! I got a bad headache too!” Psyche said, waking up from Pinkie’s rug.
“Yeah, me three.” Derpy said.
”Me six.” Crystal said.
“What time is it anyway?” Psyche asked. I took out my cell phone to check the time, but my battery is dead.
“Battery’s dead.” I said.
“Crud!” Psyche said, laying back down. “Wake me up when it’s Thursday.”
“I gotta- I gotta get mail done… now.” Derpy said weakingly, getting up and trying to walks outside without any problems.
“Wait, did Derpy just go through the door without any problems?” Psyche asked.
”Wow, she’s partied-out.” Crystal said.
“So am I! Anyways, I gotta get back to the shop!” I said. “I just hope the battle outside is over. Heard so much shooting going on out there and stuff.”
“I love your food so much, Flarey! What do you put in them that make them so good?” Pinkie asked.
“That’s a secret, Pinkie!” I said.
“But you can tell me! I’m your special somepony!” Pinkie said, jumping on me.
“I don’t care. My recipe will remain a secret until I want to reveal it.” I said.
“Where’s Mr. and Mrs. Cake anyway?” Pinkie asked.
“Don’t know, don’t care.” I said, burping. “I gotta get washed up and head to the shop! I’m late as it is!” So I walk up to the bathroom so I can get washed up for the big day, but as I open the door, a bucket of water falls on me. “I bet this is Crystal’s doing.”
“Actually, my husband made it a couple of days ago because he’s trying to keep the bathroom clean.” Mrs. Cake said. Mr. Cake was in the tub, holding a mop on his hooves.
“STAY BACK!” Mr. Cake yelled at me while aiming his mop at me. “I’M ARMED!”
“Why are you keeping your bathroom clean?” I asked.
“GET OUT!” Mr. Cake yelled, chasing me out of the bathroom and closing the door.
“We had a strange customer came in a few days ago. They asked to use our bathroom, and they dirtied it all up!” Mrs. Cake explained.
“So why is he working to keep it all clean?” I asked.
“Well, let’s just say what this particular pony did, my husband never wants to see another dirty bathroom ever again.” Mrs. Cake said.
“Wow, some New Years this turned out to me.” I said.
“Today is Thursday, dear.” Mrs. Cake said.
“What?” I asked. “I thought New Years was Tuesday?”
“You were all past out on the floor for two days.” Mrs. Cake said.
“No I wasn’t, I was past out on the ceiling.” I corrected her. “WAIT! Today is Thursday?! I missed two days of work! I gotta go! See ya, Mrs. Cake!” I started running out of the bakery, but on the way out, I kicked Psyche and said; “Wake up, Psyche, its Thursday!”
“No it’s not, I didn’t go back to sleep since I last woke up.” Psyche whined.
“We were asleep for two days, brah.” I said.
“Two days? Wow, I guess that explains why I’m so hungry.” Psyche said, rubbing his head.
“Here, eat this.” I immediately shoved a garlic roll in his mouth, and ran over to my shop to open up. Bon Bon and Lyra were waiting for me over here.
“Hey, Flare! Partying hard, or hardly partying?” Lyra asked.
“I got a better question for you: Why did the lima bean cross the road?” I asked.
“What does that gotta do with anything?” Lyra asked.
“Nothing, but you two better get to your posts now, or I’ll make jet-ski noises again!” I warned them.
“Is that a threat?” Bonnie asked.
“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise! Now to get to your stations!” I ordered them. Bonnie and Lyra ran inside to get everything ready for the big day, and so did I. It was slow that morning, so we decided to watch some TV. Two Broken Girls was playing on TV. You know that show Two Broke Girls? This show is exactly the same, but the characters are piles of broken glass, and that’s how Two Broken Girls was made!
“Hey, Flare? Can I ask you a question?” Bonnie asked.
“Can I answer your question?” I asked.
“Sure.” Bonnie said. “Lyra and I been working here for a very long time.”
“I know! You two do such a good job; I can’t decide who to put on my Employee of the Month wall!” I said. “I mean, it’s always a pattern though! Lyra then Bon Bon, Lyra then Bon Bon, Lyra then Bon Bon! Been that way for months!”
“Well, we just wanna know…. Do you trust us?” Bonnie asked.
“Of course I trust you! I leave you alone in my shop while I’m out, and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong here!” I said. “But you guys need to guard my office more. Somepony keeps going in there to go through my personal business. I have the feeling its Boorlie!”
“Uhh, yeah…. Sure.” Bonnie said, going with it. “But what we really want to know is: can you tell us your secret recipe for making your famous pizzas?”
I spit out the coffee I was drinking right after I heard that. “THIS COFFEE IS COLD!” I yelled. “I’m sorry, what was that Bonnie?”
“We wanna know your secret recipe for your pizzas.” Bonnie repeated.
“WHAAAAAAAT?!” I yelled out while I was looking at my water bill. “They’re charging me THIS much for water! Can one of you remind me to use the sprinklers once this week?”
“No problem, bossman, but we just wanna know your recipe.” Bonnie said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because, since you trust us, I-“ Bonnie was about to say, but I interrupted.
“No, not why to you. Why is there a golf cart parked so close to the shop?” I asked, looking at a golf cart outside. “Come to think of it, how did a golf cart get here anyway? I didn’t know Ponyville had a golf course!”
“I didn’t either, but Flare listen, about your recipe.” Bonnie continued.
“NO WAY!” I yelled.
“Why? You’re hardly in the shop, and we’re your trusted employees!” Bonnie said.
“There’s no way Equestria Girls is actually coming!” I complained as I watched the trailer for Equestria Girls on my android phone. “I mean, this is like another Winx Club or Monster High.”
“Flare, can you listen to me for just one second?” Bonnie asked.
“Well, I can’t judge right away. Equestria Girls might look like it’s for 10 year olds or something, but we’ll never know how it is unless we actually watch it! Love and tolerance, brah!” I said. I just made a good point there. If you readers like MLP, then you can give Equestria Girls a chance.
“FLARE!” Lyra yelled.
“I heard what you said the first seven times! No, I’m not giving you my recipe!” I yelled.
“She only asked four times.” Lyra corrected me.
“Regardless on how many times you axe, I’m not giving you my recipe! It’s a secret!” I said.
“But, Flare! Don’t you trust us?” Bonnie asked.
“Of course I do, but the recipe is mine and mine alone! If I feel that I want to give it away, then so I shall! But I can’t trust ANYPONY with the recipe!” I said.
“But Flare!” Lyra and Bonnie whinned.
“No flanks!” I yelled. “Look, if I tell anpony the recipe, they might spill the beans and tell everypony else. Once it gets revealed in the open, other pizza companies are going to make the SAME recipe, and even though I’ll be rich because I’ll be filing a lot of lawsuits, nopony is taking the recipe from me! Under any circumstances! Got it?”
“But what if you die? The recipe will be gone forever then!” Lyra said.
I paused for a moment and thought about what she said. “You know what? You made a good point there, Lyra.” I said. “Even when I die, I still want my business to live on. Ok, I won’t tell you the recipe, but I’ll give a little contest. For the next pony who works the hardest, without goofing off, will be the next employee of the month; and for the next employee of the month, I’ll tell them the location of the secret recipe. That way, just in case something bad does happen to me, you’ll know where it is in case of an emergency.”
“That sounds like a great idea!” Lyra agreed.
“Of course it is! Now get to work, we have the lunch rush coming in a few minutes!” I instructed them. From that point forward, Bonnie and Lyra have been working harder than they ever had before! I’m quite proud of them! They’re working really hard to become the next employee of the month. Later that day, a pony I never seen before came into the shop. He was pretty suspicious, but he didn’t look like a pawn to Dr. Swinebutt, or a spy to Boorlie.
“Good afternoon, sir!” Lyra said to the customer. “Welcome to Flare’s Pizza-“
“-Parlor! May I take your order!” Bonnie said, interrupting Lyra.
“HEY! I was here first, Bonnie!” Lyra shouted at her.
“No you weren’t!” Bonnie corrected her.
“You’re calling me a liar?!” Lyra asked angrily.
“I AIN’T CALLING YOU FOR DINNER!” Bonnie yelled at her, and then they started fighting.
“Employee of the month is mine!” Lyra yelled.
“No, it’s mine!” Bonnie yelled.
“I’m terribly sorry, brah!” I said to the customer. “What would you like?”
“Yeah, I’ll like 7 large pizzas, one with sundried tomatoes, one with artichokes, one with eggplant, one with mushrooms, one with pineapple and broccoli, and the rest is just cheese.” The pony said.
“Coming right up, brah! ORDER UP!” I yelled at Bonnie and Lyra as they stopped fighting.
“Yes bossman!” they both said as they both stood up and started pushing and shoving eachother, trying to get the order in. They were really despite for employee of the month; and for what? A recipe?
“Alright, this is not working out right now! STOP, FIGHTING!” I demanded as they both just stood there looking at me. “Please! Please find a better way to settle this! It’s only an employee of the month title, and a recipe! I’m not dying anytime soon!” I know that because I’m writing this story. Wink, wink. “So how about playing rock, paper, scissors to settle this?”
“We don’t have any fingers.” Lyra informed me. “Oh would I kill for fingers!”
“Hoof wrestling?” I asked.
“I recently had surgery on my right hoof, and I’m right-hooved.” Bonnie said.
“Fine! You two can find a way to settle this yourselves. Just don’t fight and cause havoc! Neither of you are going to earn employee of the month if you just keep fighting like that!” I yelled.
Lyra and Bonnie looked at eachother and then upsettingly said, “We’re sorry, Flare.”
“No problemo, sistas!” I said. “We’ll pretend the fighting never happened. Now take turns doing your jobs like you were before and one of you will get employee of the month in no time. Now get back to work, this strange customer needs his pizza!”
“Coming right up!” Lyra said.
“Whatever you say, bossman!” Bonnie said saluted me. Just as they start working, they both glare at eachother. I know this is going to get ugly very soon! So we gave the pony his pizza, and he paid up. The pony trotted out of the store and then flew off. That particular pony was flying beyond Ponyville and beyond Equestria until he reached some sort of dark wasteland. The wasteland was full of Changelings, so this must be the Changeling kingdom! The pony that has my pizza changed back into its original form, and it went to the Changeling’s capital city, which was a giant hive. All the changelings in the hive were working really hard. There were merchants, lots of workers, and it’s what you might expect the Changeling kingdom to be. Queen Chrysalis was sitting on a big table with some of her royal subjects, awaiting dinner.
“CURSEOUS! Where is our dinner?!” Chrysalis called out.
“Its right here, your highness!” the changeling who bought my pizzas said as he placed the boxes on the table.
“Thank you, Silver Link! I just hope these pizzas are as good as they all say.” Chrysalis said.
“All the foods we eat are useless! We need LOVE!” a changeling called out.
“YES! Love is what keeps us alive! We’re all losing our powers!” another changeling said, attempting to change into another pony, but failed, feeling exhausted.
“I know, but this all we can have. I mean, for every Equestrian city we go to, for every other kingdom, we always seem to fail. We’re…. we’re done for.” Chrysalis said upsettingly.
“Your highness, don’t give up! We can still survive this!” Silver Link said, attempting to boost her confidence.
“We have exhausted so much. This may be the end of the Changelings.” Chrysalis said upsettingly.
“Then let’s make the best of it, your majesty.” Silver Link suggested. “Let’s eat up these pizzas. They might help us feel better.”
“For our sake, I hope you’re right.” Chrysalis said. So the changelings passed out their pizza slices until each of them had their own pizza. “Well…. Cheers to another lousy meal.” Chrysalis said as she took a bite. She then shrugged and said, “Ehh, it’s ok I gue-“ Chrysalis froze right after she said that. Her eyelids weren’t even blinking. She was just sitting there a surprised expression on her face.
“Queen Chrysalis? Your majesty? Are you feeling alright?” Silver Link asked, waving his hoof over her eyes.
“This pizza might be poisoned!” one of the changelings assumed. Other changelings tried the pizza too, and they all froze as well.
“We must quarantine these toxic products and take all the infected to the medical center! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!” Silver Link called out. The quarantine changeling team came in wearing bio-suits, and the infected changelings were taken to the medical center for treatment; a few more changelings wearing bio-suits disposed all the pizzas in the dining hall. The doctors were trying to find out the problem, and it took them a while, but they eventually did find out.
“What’s wrong with them, doctor?” Silver Link asked.
“Nothing wrong at all! In fact, they’re healthier now than they ever been!” the doctor said.
“Wait…. how is this possible?” Silver Link asked.
“We analyzed the pizzas, and there’s a recipe inside that made the ‘infected’ changelings energy get restored. It seems there is love inside the pizza.” The doctor said.
“That’s impossible! How is there love inside food that’s not even alive?” Silver Link asked.
“We’re researching now, but there seems to be blockade inside the pizzas that’s forbids us analyze the recipes.” The doctor assumed.
“So why is Queen Chrysalis all frozen?” Silver Link asked.
“She froze from shock actually. This pizza has the most love-readings than anything else we’ve ever tried; almost as much as the love between Shining Armor and Princess Cadance.” The doctor said.
“Wow…. I don’t believe this.” Silver Link said shockingly.
“We made a medicine that’ll unfreeze them. Tell all the changelings that if they have this pizza, they must have this medicine right after they take their first bite.” The doctor instructed him. “But it’s only for the first bite. Everyone should be able to eat the pizzas freely from their second bites and beyond.” So the Doctor inserts the medicine inside Chrysalis’ mouth and Chrysalis wakes up. Chrysalis rubs her head in pain.
“Are you feeling alright, your highness?” Silver Link asked.
“Alright? ALRIGHT?! I nearly died!” Chrysalis shouted at Silver Link.
“I know, but we can explain!” Silver Link said nervously.
“No need! I can tell that this pizza is the best thing I’ve ever had!” Chrysalis said. “I feel the love inside me growing and I don’t even need to get married!”
“So what does this mean?” Silver Link asked.
“We must find the one responsible for making this product, and make him or her our personal chef! The one who made this has what we need to become powerful!” Chrysalis said.
“According to the box and receipt, this pizza is from Flare’s Pizza Parlor.” One of the changelings said, carrying one of the boxes.
“Flare? I heard that name before.” Chrysalis said as she thought it out. “Let me see that box.” The changeling gives Chrysalis the pizza box, and she sees the picture of me on it. “Oh no! Not him again!”
“Who is this pony, your majesty?” Silver Link asked.
“Flare Gun. I met him during the royal wedding, and let me tell you this; he was the most annoying pony I’ve ever met!” Chrysalis said. “You should’ve seen him with his teasing, and his non-stop talking, and his LAWL LAWL LAWLZ! Not to mention his obnoxious friends – that geek Red Engineer, that idiot Crystal Iceblast, that wise-crack Psyche Illusion, and that brown pony Aquatic Armor, he seemed quiet, but he had a shifty look in his eyes.”
“What about that Wonderbolt, Blaze Goldheart?” Silver Link asked.
“He wasn’t at the wedding, but he was with him when I took over as Jeff Gorspeed. He hates changelings.” Chrysalis said. “But still, this group of ponies is an odd bunch.”
“True, but the most annoying pony you ever met is actually the key to our survival.” Silver Link said.
Chrysalis was silent for a few seconds, and thought it over for a while. “It seems we don’t have much of a choice. Flare Gun must become one of us! Silver Link! Capture Crimson Flare Gun, and bring him to me!”
“Yes, your highness!” Silver Link bowed, and then flew off back to Ponyville to do his duty. “As long as his friends don’t seem suspicious about what’s going on, we should be fine.”
“You seem nervous, your highness.” A changeling assumed.
“I’m not afraid of all of his friends, but I am afraid of Blaze Goldheart.” Chrysalis said. “He likes to beat up changelings whenever he sees them.”
“That’s racist.” That changeling said.
“No doubt.” Chrysalis agreed.
Back at my shop, it was nearly closing time, and even though Bonnie and Lyra have been quietly doing their jobs, I’m still worried that they might try to impress me a little too much again.
“You two are dismissed for the night.” I told them.
“How did we do? Did either of us win employee of the month yet?” Lyra asked.
“Don’t worry! The time will soon be here for one of you to hold the title.” I said. “Now both of you go home, get some rest, and get ready for a new day! I’m going to head home and check out the Steam holiday sale before it ends.”
“Alright! See ya tomorrow, bossman!” Bonnie said.
“Hope you’ll make your decision soon!” Lyra said. “Also careful with the Steam sales, Flare. My cousin Angel had a huge addiction.”
“I already can see how that turned out.” I said. “Steam is like an abusing dad with a belt. When it’s sale time, you better prepare yourself for the whippin’ of your life.”
“That seems a little much but ok.” Lyra said.
“Anyways, not to worry, sista! I’m sure I’ll make my decision before the week is over.” I promised, and they both left. “Heh! Neither of them are REALLY going to get my formula. Well, one of them might get it, but I don’t think they’ll understand the recipe very good.” Just then, my phone started ringing. I know it’s after closing time, but might as well, so I picked it up. “Hello this Burger King! How may I help you?” I chuckle. “I’m joking, this is Flare’s Pizza Parlor! What can I do ya for?” I nodded as he says his order. “Ok, seven large pizzas…. Mhm…. Alright….. kay kay….. a third kay for bad measures… yes…… sounds good! You want it delivered? Okey doke! I’ll be there in 40 minutes with your pizzas! Your welcome, bye!” I hung up, but before I made that batch of pizzas, the Your Correction Guy shows up and says, “*You’re.”
“Get outta here!” I instructed him.
“*Out of.” He corrected me again and walks out.
“Nopony likes a know-it-all.” I complained. So, I made my last batch of pizzas for the night to deliver to whoever called. I then closed up the shop, and walked across town so I can deliver the pizzas. It was pretty quiet that night. Not a single pony out in the streets, and it was really foggy, and yes it’s still snowing. My main concern is I hope the pizzas don’t get cold before I deliver them. I finally reached the house these pizzas were supposed to be delivered to. I believe this house is actually the house of my friends Spark Note and Mynx. I rung the doorbell, and held it down, even after Spark Note answered the door.
“Oh, Flare! What a surprise!” Spark Note said, welcoming me, as I continued holding the doorbell down. “You got my pizzas ready right?” I don’t respond, I just continue holding the doorbell down. “Flare?”
“Hang on, I’m not done yet!” I said, continuing to ring the doorbell. Spark Note just stood there, waiting for me to stop. I eventually do, but I let go with a nice force. “Sup Sparky? HA! Sparky! That’s a dog’s name!”
Spark Note just glared at me after I said that. “Not… much is up. Thanks for the pizzas, Flare.” Spark said with an offended tone.
“Thanks! Is Mynx home?” I asked.
“No, Mynx is out right now.” Spark Note said. Just then, I heard a small ‘help’ in the background coming from inside the house. “Yep. No Mynx here! Please come in!”
“I’d love to,” I said, “but the Steam is sale is going to end soon and I really want to get the Don’t Starve pack before-“
“GET IN THE HOUSE!” Spark demanded, but then she covered her mouth in embarrassment. “My bad.”
“Time of the month?” I asked.
“Umm… yeah…” Spark Note said, sounding like she doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
“Right… classic rock day. How could I forget about that time of the month?” I asked as I chuckled. “What are you listening to? Boston? Kansas? Tom Petty? The guy who made Photograph?”
“Nickelback?” Spark Note asked.
“No, ew! I thought you hated Nickelback?” I asked.
“Um, right, yes… ew.” Spark Note said.
“I’m talking about Def Leppard, and are you ok, Sparky?” I asked as I started chuckling again. “Called you a dog’s name again. Anyways, you don’t seem like yourself.”
“No, Sparky is herself.” Spark Note said.
“Maybe I should come in; take your temperature.” I suggested.
“Now that sounds like a good idea!” Spark Note agreed.
“Sure is!” I said as I walked inside with her, hearing the help in the background again. She told me to sit down on the couch, and I did. I then sniffed the air around the house. “Something smells funny.”
“Funny as in HA HA funny?” Spark asked.
“If it was HA HA funny, I’d be burning tire rubber.” I informed her.
“What?” Spark asked confusingly.
“Exactly.” I said. “But something smells gross in here.”
“Umm… what do you mean?” Spark asked nervously.
“I can’t really explain it though. Is it the new fresh scent you have in here?” I asked.
“Yeah…. Yeah, new fresh scent.” Spark said.
“It’s weird. It looks clean in here, but it smells like a dirty kitchen. This is like the exact opposite of the Febreze air freshener commercials.” I said.
A cutaway shows Spike taking me blindfolded into a dirty kitchen, and I sniff around. “Ok, what do you smell?” Spike asked.
“I smell…. Lemons. Not the ones that burn your house down, the ones that ruin your teeth when you eat them with your iced tea.” I said, continuing to sniff. “Smells really good in here! Are we in an orchard or something?”
Spike chuckled. “Take off the blind fold, and you’ll find out!” I took off the blind fold, and I saw the kitchen full of dirty dishes, roaches, spilled sauces all over the floor, etc.
“HOLY WIZARD OF FEELING!” I yelled.
Spike started bursting out laughing. “It’s the Febreze air freshener! It’s making the room smell amazing!”
“I’m gonna kill you Spike!” I yelled at him.
“What? Why?” Spike asked.
“This is MY kitchen! You made a big mess in here!” I yelled at him. “Wait, is that a cockroach eating….. please tell me that’s chocolate.”
“Well….. then I’d be lying to you.” Spike said as he chuckled in embarrassment.
“HOLY-“ I ran into my bathroom so I can get…. Stuff out of my system because what I experienced there was disgusting!
“Well, at least the febreze actually works!” Spike said.
“AAAAAAAH! BRAH! NOT MY BATHROOM TOO!” I yelled out. The cutaway ends.
“Anyways, that’ll be 56 bits for the pizza.” I informed her as I held my hoof out. “Would that be cash or credit?”
“Sounds good, but first, would you like me to get you something to drink?” Spark Note asked. I heard the ‘help’ voice in the background again.
“Sure, but what’s that noise?” I asked.
“It’s nothing! Mynx is watching TV upstairs.” Spark said nervously.
“But you just said he was out?” I asked.
Spark was silent for a few moments. “Want your drink now?”
“Sure, sure! No problem, sista! Nothing suspecious here at all! I’d totally trust you to give me a drink out of no consequence!” I said feeling like nothing suspicious was going on here. Spark left the room to get my drink; I keep hearing the ‘help’ in the background as I reading a magazine, which a problem for me, counting I don’t read magazines. “Hmm, I wonder what Mynx is watching?” I asked myself. I walked upstairs to go find out and I opened the door and found Spark Note and Mynx tied up on the floor.
“FLARE! HELP!” Mynx yelled.
“Sure, I’d love to help! But it seems you’re a little… TIED UP at the moment!” I teased, and said that joke a SECOND TIME! Yeah come to think of it right now, I’m as annoyed as you are. It’s like the Owlowisicous-Spike ‘whoing’ moment all over again! I was younger back then, so… yeah.
“FLARE! IT’S A TRAP!” Spark yelled.
“Who are you? Admiral Ackbar?” I asked.
“NO! THAT OTHER SPARK NOTE! IT’S A CHANGELING!” Spark yelled.
“Don’t be silly, Spark! You’re in the kitchen right now, getting me a drink!” I said.
“NO! THE CHANGELINGS ARE PLANNING TO-“ But that was the last thing I heard before the fake Spark Note put a bag over my head and whacked me before I passed out.
“FLARE!” Mynx and Spark both yelled.
“Your friend will be safe.” The fake Spark Note said before turning back to Silver Link, the changeling that went to my shop earlier today. “We have some ‘special plans’ to do with him!” he said and chuckled taking the sack I’m inside, and then starts flying back to the Changeling kingdom. It was hard for him to carry me though, ‘cause I was so heavy. “Sweet Chrysalis! What does this pony eat?!”
It’s been 25 minutes since Silver Link knocked me out, which was about the time I regained my senses and wake up inside the sake I’m suffocating in. “Ugh, what happened?” I asked as I rubbed my head. “What is this? Wow, it had to be a sack! I’d rather be kidnapped in a Walmart bag, if you be so kind?”
“Quiet in there!” Silver Link demanded.
“Where are we going anyway?” I asked.
“Where do you think?” Silver Link asked.
“DIDNEY WORL?” I asked with a derp look on my face.
“No, you fool! Back to the palace!” Silver Link said.
“The Canterlot palace? Luna better be there! Are you saying Luna’s name as much as you say Celestia’s?” I asked.
“No! Queen Chrysalis’s palace!” Silver Link said.
“Hey, Chrysalis!” I said excitingly. “I haven’t seen her since that last Nashorse race I went to! How is she?”
“She’s doing fine.” Silver Link said, continuing to fly to the palace.
“I wonder what the Changeling kingdom looks like? Does it have nice cities with a bunch of lights?” I asked.
“No.” Silver Link said.
“Aw, pitty. Let me take a look.” I said as I used my hornsaber spell to cut a hole in the bag so I can peek through. I looked down below, and it seemed like we were passing through a junkyard. “Wow, your kingdom is a dump, man!”
“What did you expect?” Silver Link asked.
“Wow! This place makes Trottingham look beautiful!” I said. “And trust me, Trottingham is a dump too!”
“Gee…. Thanks.” Silver Link said sarcastically.
“No problemo, brah!” I said.
“Jeez! Chrysalis was right! This pony IS annoying. I’m so glad I didn’t meet his friends yet.” Silver Link said.
“Yeah that pony, can’t live with them, huh?” I agreed as I rolled my eyes. “Wait, which pony you talking about, and whose friends?” I peeked through the hole again and looked below. “Wow, we’re so high up, these changelings look like ants.”
“Those are ants; we’re not that high.” Silver Link informed me. Eventually, Silver Link flew us inside Chrysalis’s hive. There were changelings inside the hive that were working, but very weakly though. I saw businesses in the hive going OUT of business, and a bunch of the changelings were coughing, kids were crying, and even one changeling tried to change his or her form (can’t tell the difference between changelings genders to be honest), but he or she failed and just collapsed on the ground. “Wow… I never noticed how desperate things have become here.” I commented. After a few more seconds of exploring the hive, we arrived in Chrysalis’ throne room, and Silver Link drops the sack I’m in on the floor, unties it, and starts shaking the sack until I fell out and landed on my head. “Ka-booski!” I said as I landed. The bonk I made when I landed on the ground sounded like somepony got hit in the head with a coconut. When I fell out, my legs were also in the air, but after a few moments of laying on the ground, my legs fell to my sides, making me shaped like a star.
“That ride was fun! Can we go again?” I asked.
“Greetings, Flare Gun! I have been expecting you!” Chrysalis said as she sat on her throne.
“Wow! I’m expected! That’s a first!” I said.
“As you know, I brought you here for a very specific reason.” Chrysalis said.
“Not an Atlantic reason?” I asked.
“Do you ever stop talking?” Chrysalis asked.
“Don’t change who I am, sista! I am who I am, and nopony can stop me!” I talked back at her.
“Just hush up, and listen to me!” Chrysalis ordered.
“Fine! Gimmie refreshment and then I’ll listen.” I said.
“SILVER! Go get our guest something liquid!” Chrysalis ordered him. Silver bowed and then flew out of the chamber. “Now, Flare Gun, I called you here because I tried some of your pizzas.”
“Oh really?” I asked happily. “How were they?”
“Let’s start from the beginning: we Changelings absorb the power of love. We feast upon love from creatures around the world for generations!” Chrysalis explained. “Once we found out that Equestria has more love than anywhere else, we decided to feast upon love from the ponies there. I must find romance to feed my subjects with, but once I heard about the royal wedding, I did my research, and the love between Shining Armor and Princess Cadance was very strong, and had enough power for us to take over Canterlot for a short time, but once the love between the royal couple counter-attacked on me and my subjects, it was too much for us to take.”
“I don’t know how that’s possible. You get defeated by the type of magic that also made you powerful. Doesn’t really make much sense to me.” I said.
“Using love against us is a different type of magic. Giving me the love personally is what makes me stronger, and I use it to feed my subjects.” Chrysalis explained. “After we were defeated, the ponies in Equestria were aware of what we were after, and now we cannot find enough food for us to go on. Most of my subjects are losing their powers, and don’t have the energy to do…. Anything! My people are starving, Flare Gun, and we need your help!”
“Look, I am not marrying you. I’m sorry, but I already have a special somepony, and to be honest, you’re not really my type.” I admitted.
“Well, you’re not my type either, but I don’t you to marry me.” Chrysalis said.
“WHAT?! You’d be lucky to marry me!” I said angrily.
“I thought you didn’t want me to marry you?” Chrysalis asked.
“You pretending you’re better than me kinda cancels that out.” I said.
“Teenage love at it’s finest.” Chrysalis said.
“So, what do you want from me then?” I asked.
“Your pizza.” Chrysalis said.
“What’s my pizza gonna do to help your people?” I asked.
“Silver Link bought us some of your pizza, and we decided to give it a try. What we didn’t know was that your pizza was actually the key to our survival. We were doing a little research, and even though we couldn’t find out the recipe for your pizza, but we did find large traces of love inside, almost as much as the love I obtained at the royal wedding. It’s not much, but it’s enough.” Chrysalis explained.
“It’s true. I make my food full of love! Not just my pizzas, but my pastas too; and nopony ever buys my pastas! I have this awesome ziti made that everypony should try out!” I complained.
“Set those facts aside, we need your recipe for your pizzas.” Chrysalis said.
“Yeah, good luck with that! I already have two employees competing for employee of the month because the next employee of the month gets the location of my recipe.” I said.
“What’s your point?” Chrysalis asked.
“I’m not giving anypony my secret recipe. If I gave someone the recipe, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore! Duh! All the best meals have a secret recipe, and no matter who you are, you will not get it!” I explained.
“Then in that case, you will have to stay here for the rest of your life, making pizzas for us.” Chrysalis suggested.
“I’d love to make pizzas for your people! But atlas, I can’t.” I said.
“Why not?” Chrysalis asked.
“Your name is Atlas, right?” I asked.
“No, it’s Chrysalis.” She corrected me.
“Oh.” I said.
“So why can’t you stay and help us?” Chrysalis asked.
“Where should I start? Well I have my own business back in Ponyville, as well as an expansion in Canterlot; I have friends back at home that need me; I have fish to feed, and somepony has to make sure my buddy Blaze Goldheart doesn’t do anything he might regret. He has a temper you know, and if he finds out that I’m staying with changelings, he’ll come here himself and destroy the place just to rescue me. He has a BIG hatred for Changelings!”
“I heard, and that’s heavily racist.” Chrysalis said.
“No kidding! That’s what I said to him, but he keeps saying you’re not a race.” I said as Silver Link came back with our drinks.
“Wow! Well, I’m not surprised.” Chrysalis said. “Lots of ponies think that way.”
“But if you want me to help your people out, then I will.” I said, taking a sip of my drink. “This tastes like Hawaiian Punch.”
“Funny thing you should mention it. It’s made out of island volcanoes.” Silver Link said.
“Really now?” I asked as my tongue started to burn to a crisp. “Very- la la la la la- interesting.”
“Thank you, Flare Gun. Nopony has ever treated us with this much respect.” Chrysalis said.
“Well, I don’t judge right away. I have to get to know them first. I can’t know that changelings are bad creatures, unless I find out for myself.” I said.
“Well, just for that, I’m going to help your stay here become easier.” Chrysalis offered.
“And what’s that?” I asked.
“You’re a pony, and most of my subjects have a hatred for ponies as well, especially my mother. Trust me, if you think I’m mad, you should meet my mother.” Chrysalis said.
“So how you want my stay here to become easier?” I asked.
“Like this…” Chrysalis said, then she uses her magic on me, I start glowing, then I start floating in the air. It’s a wee-bit painful, but itwasn’t too bad, but I felt like my DNA is changing! My horn changed shape, my skin turned black, my mane and tail turned light blue, and little bug wings appeared on my back. I then fell on the ground real hard.
“Ow!” I yelled. “You can’t levitate me down gentlely? You just drop me? What kind magic is that?”
Chrysalis then took a look at my blue vest. “Hmm, doesn’t seem to match. Let me fix that.” Chrysalis then suddenly turned my vest green so it’ll match my looks. “What do you think, Flare Gun?” she asked, putting a mirror in front of me.
I take a look at myself and started to freak out. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”
“I turned you into a changeling. Now you’ll blend in just fine!” Chrysalis said.
“I have a horn AND wings?! Holy Wizard of Hope, I’m an alicorn! Now everypony is gonna call me mary-sue again!” I yelled.
“Trust me, all changelings have a horn AND wings. You have all the same magic tricks you had before though.” Chrysalis said.
“Let me see.” I said as I tested out my magic spells, but they all seemed to be a different. My flares were blue, my water squirter was green goo (oo rhyme), and my Shoop Da Whoop had a different sound effect. It sounded… evil and haunted, but regardless, I’m glad I still have them. Can’t live without my armor lock, that’s for sure! “Do I still have the same cutie mark?”
“Of course you do.” Chrysalis said.
“You want to see my cutie mark?” I asked.
“I can see it now.” Chrysalis reminded me.
“No not that… this one.” I corrected her as I took out my phone and showed Chrysalis a picture on my phone of my cutie mark.
“Who’s that?” Chrysalis asked.
“That’s Markiplier! He’s such a cutie!” I said.
“Yeah he seems very cute.” Chrysalis nodded. “Now, you don’t just have your current unicorn magic still, you now you have a new power! You can change yourself into anything.” Chrysalis said.
“Anything?” I asked.
“Anything!” Chrysalis said.
“Hmm, I’m gonna try changing myself into Discord!” I said as I used my new changeling magic to try to change myself into Discord, but I wasn’t that successful. All I did was change myself into looking like my sister Water Gun. “Wow, I didn’t realize Discord looked a lot like my sister.” I teased.
“Changing looks takes a lot of practice. You’ll only change into the things you know very well. You have to make sure your detail is correct and everything, otherwise somepony will find out that you’re not that particular pony you’re trying to form yourself to look like.” Chrysalis explained.
“Well, I might take this as an advantage! Perhaps being a changeling is awesome!” I said as I turned myself into my original changeling form. “Hey check this out!” I suddenly placed one of my hooves near my mouth and I stuck my tongue through one of the holes on my arm, making ‘loo loo loo loo loo loo’ noises.
“What are you doing?” Chrysalis asked.
“I’ve always wanted to do that! Now that I’m a changeling, my arms look like swiss cheese!” I said.
“But now that you’re a changeling, ponies may treat you differently.” Chrysalis said.
“Pffft! That’s an easy mystery to solve! Watch this!” I then changed myself into looking like my original pony self. “See? Nopony will know the difference! I look just like the same ol dude everypony got to know
“Takes a lot of energy out of you though by being a different model, but with your pizzas by your side, eat them every once in a while, and I believe you’ll be fine!” Chrysalis instructed me.
“Possum grade awesome, sista!” I said, changing back into my changeling form. “Alright, so I believe you want me to cook you some more pizzas, huh?”
“If you please? Just cook enough pizzas for my people to last for at least week, and then you can return home to Ponyville with your friends and your business.” Chrysalis offered.
“What about sleep though?” I asked as looked through cell phone to check on the time. “It’s a quarter after midnight!”
“You’re a changeling now! Eat your pizzas; it’ll be your coffee!” Chrysalis said.
“My parents don’t let me drink coffee.” I said.
“Well, your parents aren’t here. So hup to it, Flare Gun! Save your people!” Chrysalis instructed me.
“Right!” I said as I ran out of the throne room, but I came back a few seconds later and asked, “Uhh, where’s the kitchen?”
“Oh, right. Silver, please show our new head chef to the kitchen.” Chrysalis instructed him.
“Yes, your highness!” Silver Link bowed as he started taking me to the kitchen. When we got there, there were pots in fireplaces, food being chopped on the counters, and their only sink was a bucket of water. “Here we are!”
“No.” I said.
“No what?” Silver Link asked.
“I can’t work in a kitchen like this!” I said.
“But all you need is love to make your pizza taste good!” Silver Link said.
“It’s not just that. I need the proper equipment, the right ingredients, and I want my cooking environment to be a little more…. My style.” I explained.
“What’s wrong with our kitchen?” a changeling chef asked.
“Our kitchen is fine!” another one said.
“Look, I understand that this is the type of kitchen you like to prepare your meals in, it’s just... if I’m to make perfection, I have to do it right. Trust me, I tried making pizza another way before, and it didn’t work out.” I said.
A cutaway shows me putting a raw pizza in the microwave, and then the pizza went alive and started attacking my face like a facehugger. The cutaway ends there.
“Well, what kind of equipment would you need?” Silver Link asked.
“I cook all my pizzas in a brick oven, I need the proper tools, the veggies have to be washed in a proper sink, and…. You know what? Take me back to my shop. Everything I need is over there.” I suggested.
“But her highness wants your pizzas to be prepared here.” Silver Link said.
“Does she want my pizzas or not? If I’m to cook them properly, I need to be at my shop. All the proper equipment is there.” I said.
“Well…. You’re going to have to ask her.” Silver Link advised me. So I walked back into the queen’s chambers, as Chrysalis filing her hoof-nails.
“Excuse me? Queen Crystales?” I asked.
“It’s Chrysalis, and what seems to be the problem?” Chrysalis asked.
“Ok first, you want to see a picture of my van?” I asked as I took my cell phone out.
“Ok sure.” Chrysalis said as I showed her the picture. “Grace Van Pelt, huh? Interested.”
“I’m really attracted to government agent ladies, which is why I always like to watch the Esurience commercials.” I said.
“Got the message.” Chrysalis nodded. “Anyways, what’s the main reason why you came before me?”
“I didn’t come here BEFORE you, I came here AFTER you.” I corrected her. “You were already in here filing your nails.”
“Whatever. Why are you here?” Chrysalis asked.
“I can’t work under these conditions!” I complained.
“What? You uncomfortable with our layouts?” Chrysalis asked.
“I was actually going to ask why you are using regular brown thin paper towels instead of Bounty in your bathrooms, but yeah, I am feeling uncomfortable with the layout of your kitchen.” I said.
“Well too bad. You’re going to have to get used to it. You’re a changeling now, Flare Gun, and you must get used to everything around here whether you like it or not.” Chrysalis said.
“Oh yeah? You want try this pizza I made over a fire using YOUR ingredients?” I asked as I showed Chrysalis a pizza I made in her kitchen.
“No problem!” Chrysalis said, using her magic to take the pizza I made, and she took a bite of it. “Taste’s ok, but it doesn’t taste like the pizzas you usually prepare. It tastes a lot like volcano juice.”
“Yeah the Hawaiian Punch was actually the main ingredient, but that’s what I’m saying! I need to go back to Ponyville and use the proper equipment to make them! I worked hard getting the pizzas to be how they are today! After I finished building that place, I had to make sure my food tastes perfect before opening! Wasn’t easy finding the proper tools to make them how they are now.” I explained.
“I see what you mean. Ok, Flare Gun, I’ll allow you to go back to Ponyville to make the pizzas, and you can live your life how you did before.” Chrysalis said.
“YAY! MESA GOING HOME!” I yelled in Jar Jar Bink’s voice.
“Ah, ah, ah! There’s something you’ll need to know first.” Chrysalis stopped me.
”I’m all ears like string beans! No, wait, which vegetable has the ears?” I asked.
“What you need to know is you cannot show your true self to ANYPONY in town!” Chrysalis said.
“Oh yeah!” I said as I snapped my hooves. “Potatoes are the ones with the ears! Counting Mr. Potato Head.”
“FLARE GUN!” Chrysalis yelled.
“Yes?” I asked. “You know I like it better if you just call me Flare, and not by my last name.”
“Have you listened to a word I’ve been saying?” Chrysalis asked.
“I heard that last part!” I said and smiled.
Chrysalis groaned. “You can’t tell anypony you’re a changeling! That’s what I said!”
“I thought you said ‘Have you listened to a word I’ve been saying’?” I asked.
“NO!” Chrysalis yelled. “Uuuggghh!”
“Don’t worry! I won’t tell anypony I’m a changeling now. I’ll just show them!” I said.
“NO! That’s even worse! Nopony can know you’re a changeling! NO-PONY AT ALL!” Chrysalis ordered me.
“Ok! Ok! I get it!” I said. “Nopony will know I’m a changeling. I won’t tell anypony, I won’t show anypony. You have nothing to worry about!”
“I somewhat have a hard time believing you.” Chrysalis said.
“I wouldn’t be surprised.” I said. “I get that a lot.”
“Take Silver Link with you. He’ll make sure you don’t get into trouble.” Chrysalis said.
“Alright! Going to have a fellow Changeling with me! HIGH-HOOF!” I cried in excitement to Silver Link with my hoof up high. Silver just stood there staring at me, and after a few seconds, I just awkwardly lowered my hoof back down.
“It’s up to you, Flare Gun! Save our kingdom! If we don’t get those pizzas, all of us will be lost!” Chrysalis said.
“I will not let you down, Crystalis!” I said, saluting to her.
“It’s Chrysalis. Now begone with you!” Chrysalis ordered us. So Silver and I flew off back to Ponyville. On the way over there, I had a lot of trouble flying with my new changeling wings.
“Man! How am I supposed to fly back with these stupid bug wings?” I asked.
“HEY! They’re not stupid bug wings!” Silver Link complained.
“You’re right. They’re stupid CHANGELING wings. Better?” I asked.
“You a pony folk are all the same! Thinking we’re a bunch of freaks!” Silver Link said.
“I don’t think you’re a bunch of freaks, I just think- WHOA!” I started to lose my altitude a bit, but I was able to fix it. “I am NOT good at flying! I had wings once before and I was NO better! Wow, we’re so high up! I can see ants down below!”
“Flare, you’re flying 5 feet off the ground. Those are actual ants you’re seeing.” Silver Link reminded me.
“Anyways, I don’t think changelings are freaks.” I said. “I just you need a better lifestyle then you do now. What are you? A bunch of bees?”
“It may seem to be that way.” Silver Link said. “We make very strange honey.”
“You do?” I asked.
“What do you think that goo we use to trap our victims is?” Silver Link asked.
“That’s honey? Wow, no wonder it tasted good.” I said.
“You tasted it?!” Silver Link asked surprisingly.
“Taste it? I use it on toast on certain mornings!” I said.
“That is certainly unexpecting, like playing one of those survive for 30 seconds levels on Happy Wheels.” Silver Link said.
A cutaway shows me playing Happy Wheels on my computer playing as Santa. Me and my elves were trapped in a giant box of some sort and there was numbers beside us that started counting down, and there was also a message on top of us saying ‘Rate 5 if you survive’ and ‘Rate 4 if you died’. I then said in a Santa voice, “DEELEGH! Alright you kiddies! We’re supposed to survive for 30 seconds. Now obviously, Santa will survive, but you however, will not, but that’s ok, you will do what can to protect Santa because that’s all you’re capable of. Ok… the numbers are counting down but nothing is happening. I think this map might be brok- AAAAAAAH!” I screamed after a pile of cars crash on top of my characters. The cutaway ends.
So we flew back to Ponyville; it was in the middle of the night so not many ponies were out, so nopony noticed us. I opened up my shop, disabled the alarm, and put my apron and chef hat on. “Alright! Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor, brah!” I said.
“Shoop da cook?” Silver Link asked, staring at my apron. “What the heck does that mean?”
“Everypony axes that all the time, and nopony seems to get it no matter how much detail I put in it. Just sit down, relax, and watch a little TV; if you want a drink, just take a cup and use the fountains over there.” I explained.
“Thanks, Flare!” Silver Link said as he started watching TV.
“Coming up next on PNT,” TV announcer started, “it’s an eight hour marathon of Trixie’s Tricks.”
“The Great and POWERFUL Trixie’s tricks, you mean.” Trixie corrected him on the TV.
“See? This is why we show her show at night when everyone’s asleep.” The TV announcer said to the audience.
“So how long are you going to be in there?” Silver Link asked me.
“It depends how many pizzas you want me to make.” I said. “Oooo! I never seen the stove this clean before! This employee of the month thing must be really paying off!”
“Alright, well, if you can. Make 180 large pizzas.” Silver Link instructed me.
“That enough to fill the entire kingdom?” I asked.
“No, it’s enough to fill the entire hive! The entire kingdom will take forever! Let’s just start off with the hive, and we’ll think of the kingdom later.” Silver Link said.
“Holy Wizard of Hope, Silver! I hope you’re paying me big for this! I never made these many pizzas for one order before, and on top of that, I never even worked at night before!” I said.
“Get used to it. Nibble on a pizza once in a while, it should give you the energy you need to last the night.” Silver Link advised me.
“I understand that, but doing the same thing all the time is, well…. Boring!” I said.
“Well, find a way to entertain yourself while you’re doing it.” Silver Link said, as he changes the channel on the TV.
“We now return to Two in a Raft Men on CBS (Canterlot Broadcast Station).” The TV announcer said.
On the TV shows Alan and Charlie Harper that are stuck in a raft in the middle of the ocean. “I hate being lost at sea on a raft.” Alan complained.
“I hate being lost at sea on a raft with you!” Charlie complained, as the audience laughed.
“Ah good, the version of the show that didn’t turn into complete garbage when Ashton Kutcher came on. Not that I have a problem with him, but the show was always better with Charlie Sheen.” Silver Link admitted. “Now hup to it, Flare! The kingdom isn’t going to feed itself!”
“If only it could.” I mumbled to myself and sighed. Wow, if the kingdom could really feed itself! That would be awesome! Like… food growing from the ground! That would be totally magical! They should invent something like that! Food from the ground! Anyways, I really knew this was going to be a long night! Silver Link just sat there, watching TV and making sure I don’t slack off. I bit on a few pizzas and it was keeping me awake, but I was so BORED! The day times are usually fun because there are ponies to talk to while I’m working. Now, well…. It’s just Silver Link! He didn’t want to talk, he was just interesting in watching Saturday Night Live! It was almost 6 in the morning, and I was able to make 214 pizzas that night.
“There! Finished! I made some extras just in case.” I said.
“Excellent! This will surely help our people!” Silver Link said.
“But something weird was going on… have you had the feeling you’re being… watched?” I asked.
“I was watching you this whole time.” Silver Link reminded me.
“No you didn’t, you were watching TV.” I corrected him.
“Well then how else would you have the feeling you’re being watched?” Silver Link asked.
I then gasped as I saw something outside. “THAT! I knew I was being watched! I knew something wasn’t right!” I pointed outside.
Silver Link turned around and saw who was watching me this whole time, and then he just chuckled and said, “No, Flare! That’s the money you COULD be saving with Geico!” Outside I saw the Geico money with eyes as Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockfell plays in the background.
“Geico,” the TV announcer said as the entire screen cuts out of the story to show the Geico logo. “15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.”
“Well, you better get going now. It’s almost six, and the ponies are going to be awakening soon.” I advised him. “Take the pizzas to your kingdom!”
“What are you going to do?” Silver Link asked.
“I’ll stay here and live my life. Nopony will suspect a thing!” I suggested.
“Alright. I’ll be back tonight for more pizzas.” Silver Link said.
“Oh, uhh, sure! No problemo, brah!” I said hesitantly. Silver Link took all 214 pizzas and tried not to topple them over, as he did though, I used my magic to catch them. “Just use this delivery bag. It’ll be easier.” I gave Silver Link a delivery bag, and put all the pizzas inside, but the pizzas still stacked like a tower. “Much better!”
“Hope so.” Silver Link said, taking the pizzas and flying out. After I cleaned up, I saw Lyra and Bonnie racing inside my shop. They both got stuck on the doorway, because they both tried getting in at the same time. They were still running in place as they were stuck.
I was still in my changeling form. I’m glad they didn’t see me. “Oh salami!” I said, changing into my old pony self and walking out to greet my employees. Lyra, Bonnie! You’re 3 hours early!”
“We’d never want to let you down, sir!” Lyra said.
”Yeah, we wish to be the best employees we can ever be- employee of the month!” Bonnie said.
“Excellent! Excellent!” I said. “Now I’m going to go out and run some… errands. You two take care of things here yourselves until I get back. Got it?”
“We won’t let you down, sir!” Bonnie and Lyra both saluted at me.
“I don’t like it when ponies call me sir.” I said.
“Yes… brah?” Bonnie asked.
“Love it! Now stop hanging around the doorway, and get to work!” I ordered them.
“Right away!” Lyra said as they both tried to get themselves unstuck from the doorway, but had a hard time doing so.
“Need some help?” I asked.
“No, no! We got it!” Bonnie said. They still kept trying to get themselves unstuck, but they still had a hard time. I just stood there, glaring. “Just a little more.”
“We got it, Flare!” Lyra said, but of course they didn’t.
“I don’t have time for this.” I sighed as I then used my rail-blast spell to push them out of the doorway, and they fell on the ground. “You two have to learn to get unstuck backwards instead of getting more stuck forwards so I could just kick your flanks out.” I said to them as I then walked away. Bonnie and Lyra just looked at eachother and then both raced back into my shop, and were able to get in, but when they went through the kitchen door, they got stuck there now.
Meanwhile as I walking through town, I was walking pretty slow and tired. “Oh Luna, I’m feeling really exhausted right now! I can’t believe I agreed to do this. Being a changeling and all must be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!” Just as I was passing through Sweet Apple Acres, I saw AppleJack bucking apples off the tree. “Wow, AppleJack is really concentrating on bucking those apples. If only Pinkie were there to startle her.” I then looked around. “Well, no Pinkie around here. I wish there was a way for me to be Pinkie and startle her myself. It would be really funny.” But then my brain just hatched an idea. Really there was an egg inside my head and it hatched a light bulb. “Wait! I CAN be Pinkie! I’m a changeling now! Which means I don’t have to JUST be Flare anymore! I can be anypony!” So I tried hard to turn into Pinkie, but then I turned into AppleJack. “AppleJack? Startling, but she’ll suspect something.” Then I changed into Engineer. “Engie? Nah.” Then I changed into Twilight. “Twilight? Hmm, I’ll save her for later.” Then I finally changed into Pinkie. “Walla! Pinkie Pie! Now let’s see how this new trick works!” I then tip-hooved over to AppleJack who was concentrating on one of the stronger trees.
”A’right. Ah need complete focus. Just the right kick will do the trick.” AppleJack said, and just before she kicked, I jumped at her.
“HI, APPLEJACK!” I yelled as AppleJack got startled, and then she hit the tree with one of her hind hooves ankles.
“AAAAH! MAH ANKLE!” AppleJack yelled. “GAH! PINKIE!”
“Whoa! You alright AppleJack?” I asked.
“NO, AH’M NOT OK! YA MADE ME BREAK MAH ANKLE, PINKIE!” AppleJack yelled, holding her ankle. “AHHHH! Ahhhh!”
Just then I smiled. “This is unbelievable! She thinks I’m Pinkie! So Pinkie takes the blame for this, not me!” I said. AppleJack continued moaning and yelling as she held her ankle. “Well, this is a bit too much. I never meant to do any physical harm.” I then awkwardly trotted away from AppleJack and changed back into me. I walked further into town, thinking of another non-harmful prank. Breaking AppleJack’s ankle was… unexpecting, I hope the farmer doesn’t shoot her for this. Oh wait, she is the farmer. Well… I hope she doesn’t shoot herself for this. Just then, I saw Rarity walking through town wearing a very nice outfit.
“Wow, Rarity! That’s a very nice outfit!” Fluttershy said, feeling the fuzzy fur on it.
“HEY! Hooves off! This is my favorite outfit! I do NOT want it to be ruined!” Rarity shouted at her.
“Oh, I-I’m sorry, Rarity.” Flutters said, feeling pretty embarrassed.
“It’s ok, dear! We still meeting at the spa later, right?” Rarity asked.
“Absolutely!” Flutters said nodding.
“Fabulous! I’ll see you later, Fluttershy!” Rarity said as she continued walking.
“Good bye, Rarity!” Flutters said walking in the opposite direction.
I laughed mischievously. “Wow, Rarity! You don’t want anything to happen to that outfit, huh? It would seem terrible if somepony had to ruin it! AppleJack should totally take the blame for this!” I then hid behind some bushes then changed myself into looking like Fluttershy, even though I think I look like AppleJack. “Look out, Rarity! Here comes AppleJack!” I ran over to Rarity and then I started splashing in a mud pile and mud spilled all over Rarity’s outfit.
Rarity started screaming. “AAAH! FLUTTERSHY! HOW COULD YOU?!”
“Look at you, Rarity! You look like a melted Hershey’s bar!” I said, laughing.
“Fluttershy! You knew this was my favorite outfit! How…. How could you?!” Rarity started crying and ran away. I was confused to why she called me Fluttershy.
“Fluttershy?” I asked, looking at myself. “Oh, woops. I thought I was AppleJack. Wow, I wouldn’t do that Fluttershy! My Mama Fluttershy! I mean, I’d do it to Pinkie though. She’s my special somepony but she’s not that sensitive. I should go apologize to Rarity and tell her the truth.” I was about to go walk to Rarity’s, but then I stopped myself. “Wait, I swore to Chrysalis that I wouldn’t tell anypony about me being a changeling. I have to keep that promise! Alright, lesson learned! No more harmful pranks. Messing with Rarity’s favorite outfit was a mistake.” Just then, my stomach started rumbling. “Getting hungry. Perhaps it’s time to go get some food.” So I trotted over to Sugarcube Corner to get some food. I’m still in my Fluttershy form though. I peeked inside the shop and I saw Mrs. Cake with a plate of brownies.
“Oooo! Those brownies look delish, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie said.
“Thank you, Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake said.
“Brownies again, huh?” I mumbled.
“Would you like one?” Mrs. Cake asked.
“You know it!” Pinkie said, taking a brownie and eating it in one bite. “Wow! Those ARE delish!”
“Come back for more whenever you wish!” Mrs. Cake said happily.
“Sure thing, Mrs. Cake! I’m going to go see AppleJack!” Pinkie said, hopping in place.
“Have fun, Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake said as Pinkie then hopped right out the door, passing me.
“Hi, Fluttershy!” Pinkie said to me as she continued hopping over to AppleJack’s.
“Wow! Pinkie is allowed to have all the brownies she wants, eh?” I asked. “Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt taking one!” I changed myself into looking like Rarity and then I trotted inside to take some brownies. On the way, I accidently stepped on Psyche, who was still lying on the ground there.
“OW! I’m still lying here!” Psyche yelled.
I walked over to the counter and took one of the brownies and ate it. “Mm mm! Yummy!” I said. Those brownies were so delicious I had to have more. I opened my mouth wide towards the counter, and I shoved all the brownies inside my mouth at once. Mrs. Cake walked back behind the counter, humming to herself, but then she spotted me eating all the brownies.
“Oh, heya dear!” Mrs. Cake said.
“Hi, Mrs. Cake!” I said with my mouth full.
“Wow, I never seen you eat this much before!” Mrs. Cake said shockingly.
I chuckled. “That’s a good one, Mrs. Cake!” I said with my mouth still full, and then I swallowed the rest of the brownies that were in my mouth, and I burped. “Ahhh! Those were good! Got any more?”
“Well, I can make you batch for 8 bits!” Mrs. Cake said.
“You’re funny, Mrs. Cake! I’m Pinkie! I know you give me ALL your food for free!” I said.
“Excuse me?” Mrs. Cake asked confusingly, since I didn’t know that I changed myself into looking like Rarity, not Pinkie. My stomach rumbled again, but in a different way. “Ugh! I have to use the lavatory! B-R-B!”
“Wait, Rarity!” Mrs. Cake yelled, but I wasn’t listening. I ran upstairs, accidentally stepping on Psyche again, and ran into the bathroom since my stomach didn’t really agree with the brownies. Mr. Cake walked by just as I finished and I hopped back out like what Pinkie does, with a piece of toilet paper on my hoof… AGAIN! C’mon, that gag is old already! Why do I keep doing it? Mr. Cake looked inside the bathroom, and then he screamed.
“MY BATHROOM! NO!” Mr. Cake yelled. He peeked his head out and saw me hopping down the stairs. Then he whispered angrily; “Oh, you’re going to get it now, Rarity!”
So I walked outside and chuckled to myself. “This is great! With these new powers, I can do anything! I’ll be able to get away with anything and other’s will take the blame! I gotta say, being a changeling must be one of the best things that’s ever happened to me! Let’s do this!” So I went around town to some pranks. I went over to see Rainbow Dash who was getting a suntan over by the lake, but since the sun isn’t out and it’s snowing, she’s sunbathing under a bit lamp; and then I did a cannonball into the lake while in the form of Aqua! Kept splashing Rainbow in the hole I made through the ice near her, getting her all wet; and as Rainbow’s face was turning red from anger, right before she snapped, I cooled her off by dumping a bucket of water on her and who is to blame? Aqua! Alright well... I wonder who Rainbow is going to challenge next to the ice bucket challenge?
After that, I went to go see Fluttershy, who was feeding her animals, and giving a bear a spongebath. When Flutters turned away from her animals to give the bear the bath, all the animal’s food turned into piles of junk food! Then when she turned back to the bear, the bear was bathing in mud. Fluttershy was shocked and she saw me laughing on the ground in the form of Engineer!
Right after, I went to go see Engineer who was building a new mail box in his front yard. Just then, his mail box grew into a giant spider robot with lasers, and started crawling around town, destroying everything. Engineer was very surprised. Engineer looked at his blueprints and saw a taped-up piece of paper blocking the name of the blueprint that said ‘Robotic Auto-junction Mailbox’, but when Engie removed the paper, the actual blueprint said ‘Robotic Destruction Mailbox’. Engie gasped, and then he saw me laughing and rolling on the ground, as the model of Blaze.
Right after, Blaze was flying around, doing awesome stunts, and he was about to dive into a trampoline, but me in the model of Crystal was flying right beside him, and then I tilted Blaze’s head a bit and the results were: he hit the edge of the trampoline. Blaze just laid there, rubbing his head with stars flying around it and I started laughing at him.
Meanwhile, while I was doing more pranks, Fluttershy walked over to the spa to meet up with Rarity. She was wearing a robe and a towel on, humming a song, and she saw Rarity relaxing in a mud-bath. “Hi, Rarity!” Fluttershy said, walking over to her.
Rarity removed her one of her cucumbers on her eyes to see who it was; she just smirked at her and said; “Oh… it’s you.”
“Yeah! I’ve come for our little spa-date! Mind if I come inside?” Flutters asked.
“I’m sorry, dear, but this mud bath is full.” Rarity said rudely to her.
“Oh, I’m sorry, but…. There’s no one else inside with you.” Flutters said confusingly.
“Really? Oh I haven’t noticed?” Rarity said sarcastically.
“Why are you speaking like that to me? Not that it’s a much of a big deal.” Fluttershy asked.
“Oh? So we’re playing stupid now, huh? Ok, Fluttershy, I’ll join along! You ruined my favorite outfit!” Rarity said angrily at her.
“What?! No I didn’t!” Flutters said.
“Don’t lie to me!” Rarity said angrily as she walked out of the mud bath and towards Fluttershy with a very angry look. “I saw you, and you did it on purpose! You knew I didn’t want my favorite outfit dirty, and you decided to just ruin it anyway, because I knew you were jealous!”
Fluttershy was really confused and scared. “Please don’t hurt me. I just came here to relieve my stress.”
“Oh yeah? What could you POSSIBLY have that is more stressful than what I’m going through right now?!” Rarity asked.
“Howdy, ladies.” Engie said upsettingly as he walked inside.
“Well, well, well! Look who decided to show his face? You really got some nerve coming here, Engineer!” Fluttershy said angrily at him.
“Beg yer pardon, Fluttershy?” Engie asked.
“Don’t play dumb with me! You came here to ruin my day some more? HUH?!” Fluttershy yelled in his face.
“What did ah do?!” Engie asked.
“You made my animals fat and my bear EXTRA dirty! I’d have to give him six more baths to remove the mud off him!” Flutters explained angrily.
“Whoa, Flutters! Calm down! Ah have no idea what ya’ll are talking about!” Engie said confusingly. “All ah’m doin is relieving’ mah stress because it appears Blaze played a prank on me! Think it’s funny to switch blueprints on me like that! Now ah created mailbox which is destroyin’ the whole darn-ol city and ah need to calm down!”
“What’s with all these pranks that are going on?” Crystal asked while having her mane under a big hair dryer.
“What’s yer story, Crystal?” Engie asked.
“Well, I was trying to play a prank on Pinkie today, but AppleJack thought it was funny to ruin the prank, AND ruin my mane style while she was at it!” Crystal complained, removing her head from the hair dryer, showing her mane to be all messy and green. “Oh, and she also dyed it green.”
“GREEN HAIR?! That monster!” Rarity yelled.
“Yeah, no kidding!” Crystal said.
“It’s not easy being green.” Kermit the Frog said from the sauna.
“Well while y’all were doin’ a prank on Pinkie, Crystal, she made me break mah ankle!” AppleJack complained while getting a message, and showing everyone her cast on her hind hoof.
“And don’t get me started on Psyche!” Aqua said while relaxing in the hot tub. “He stole my water purifier, and now my sister Wind Racer is sick because of all the germs she’s been gettin by drinkin’ water.”
Just then, Engie’s cell phone starts to ring, and he answers it. “Hello?” Engie started. “Oh hey Psyche! Put you on speaker? Alright.” Engie puts his cell phone on speaker so Psyche could speak to everyone.
“And don’t get me started on Rainbow Dash paralyzing me when she made me drink all that cream soda!” Psyche yelled from the phone. “I’m still lying here on the Sugarcube Corner floor and keep getting stepped on!”
Rainbow Dash then suddenly bursts inside and jumps into the hot tub quickly, and she was shivering. “A-a-a-a-a-as if! N-n-n-none of this would’ve happened i-i-i-i-if Aqua d-d-d-d-d-didn’t…..” Rainbow started coughing.
“Aqua dumped a bucket of water on Rainbow, and Crystal ruined my concentration on my stunt.” Blaze said as he held a bag of ice on his head.
Pinkie then bursts inside, looking really angry, and she was really steaming. “YOU’RE DEAD, RARITY!”
“WHAT?! What did I do?” Rarity asked.
Pinkie ran up to Rarity’s face and shouted; “Because of you taking all the brownies and ruining the bathroom, Mr. Cake worked so hard to clean! I CAN’T HOST ANOTHER PARTY THERE FOR A WEEK!” Pinkie screamed and Rarity’s face so loud that the towel flew off Rarity’s mane, and that scream really messed it up.
“MY HAIR!” Rarity yelled.
Everypony started arguing with eachother and some pushing around was occurred as well, and it looked like some fights were about to start, but Blaze stood up and yelled; “EVERYPONY STOP!” Everypony stopped what they were doing and looked at him. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but these pranks aren’t a coincidence; I think somepony is messing with us…. Or something.”
“What do ya mean, Blaze?” Aqua asked.
“What I mean is, I think this whole thing was planned out! Did you all find something quite strange when these pranks occurred?” Blaze asked.
“Now that you mentioned it, how can I be shivering when Aqua poured the water all over me, when Aqua was all wet as well and didn’t feel a thing?” Rainbow asked.
“Just because I like gettin’ wet, doesn’t mean I can’t shiver.” Aqua informed her.
“That’s what she said!” Engie said.
“Fluttershy would never ruin my favorite outfit on purpose!” Rarity said.
“Of course I wouldn’t! I liked your outfit, it was beautiful.” Flutters said.
“Yeah….. was.” Rarity said sadly.
“Trust me, if ah pranked somepony, it wouldn’t be givin’ them green hair. It would be somethin’ way funnier than that.” AppleJack admitted.
“I would never startle AppleJack while she’s working!” Pinkie said.
“Yes ya would.” AppleJack said, glaring at her.
“Oh, right!” Pinkie said as she giggled.
“How did I exactly ruin your concentration, Blaze?” Crystal asked.
“You tilted my head.” Blaze said.
“You can tilt somepony’s head to ruin their concentration?” Crystal asked.
“So you obviously couldn’t do it.” Blaze said.
“Now wait just a gah-darn second! Out of our groups, Twilight and Flare are the only ones not here.” Engie said.
“And Psyche, but he’s paralyzed.” AppleJack added.
“That is true! Where are they?” Rainbow asked.
“This has Flare’s name ridden all over it!” Rainbow said. “Also I’m not cold anymore it seems.”
“Now hold on! These pranks are just too clever for Flare, maybe it was Twilight.” Crystal assumed.
“No! Don’t you see! We all thought it was eachother who did it because we all looked like us when we did it! So the fact remains….. it was a changeling!” Blaze said.
“A changeling?!” Pinkie yelled.
“YES! A changeling! Isn’t it quite obvious?! They can survive cold waters because their blood is extra warm; and disgusting themselves as us kinda gives it away; and they’re nasty little buggers! I hate them so much!” Blaze said angrily.
“Wow! If only you can listen how racist you sound right now!” Crystal said.
“It’s only racist if I talk about another type of pony, like an earth pony, but changelings…. they’re a totally different species! They ruin our lives just for fun!” Blaze said.
“So, what are we going to do?” Flutters asked.
“I say we should capture that changeling and force it to tell us why they did it, and then punish them good!” Rainbow suggested.
“Yeah! We should make it watch the SUPER MARIO BROS MOVIE!” Pinkie yelled.
“WHOA! Pinkie that’s pretty overkill!” Rainbow said in shock and then she gave her a mischievous look. “I like it!”
“And if there’s one pony who researches changelings, it’s Twilight! She can help us catch it!” Blaze suggested.
“So what are we waiting for? Let’s go get lard!” Pinkie yelled.
“No! Let’s go to Twilght’s and get her to help us stop it!” Engie yelled. So they all left the spa to go to Twilight’s for help. They headed over there and explain to her everything. It’s too much to explain again, so I’ll just skip on to the part where she heard everything.
“So let me get this straight, you’ve all been getting pranks, which you thought it was eachother, but it was actually a changeling?” Twilight asked. They all agreed at the same time. “Well, that would explain a lot. I don’t know much about changelings though.”
“C’mon Twilight! Ya have to help us!” Engie begged.
“Yeah! This changeling is messing with our lives, and it must be STOPPED!” Rainbow yelled.
“Well, I do know what attracts a changeling is love.” Twilight said.
“So what are you saying, dear?” Rarity asked.
“I think I might know.” Crystal said as she gives Aqua a seductive look.
“No.” Aqua said as he glared at her.
“What I’m saying is – if there’s enough love in one place, it’ll attract the nearest changeling, and we’ll trap it, and question it!” Twilight said.
“But the question is… where would we find such love?” Psyche asked.
“Me and Rarity!” Spike suggested.
“Oh Spikey! Not yet, dear!” Rarity said as she patted him on the head, friendzoning him again.
“Aww man.” Spike said, feeling buzzkilled.
“Rainbow and I are married.” Blaze suggested.
“Yeah, and there’s me and Flare!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“And me and… oh wait… I’m all alone!” Psyche said as he started crying.
“Sounds good to me! Let’s get his trap planned out, and we’ll meet at Flare’s shop tonight!” Twilight instructed everyone.
“We should go get some supplies though. Ah might know of a place we can get some. Follow me.” Engie instructed everyone as everypony started to follow him out.
“Hey Spike, can you get things settled here?” Twilight asked him.
“On the double!” Spike said, saluting her. Twilight walks out with the rest of my friends and then closes the door behind them. Spike was now alone in the library just about to clean up, but then Twilight was standing there near the desk. Hey, didn’t she just leave? Wink, wink! “Twilight? Didn’t just walk out?”
“Hi, Spike! I’m Twilight! WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS, I’m very boring, WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS, BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS, and more BOOKS!” Twilight said.
“Uhh, are you ok Twilight?” Spike asked.
“I am not Twilight!” Twilight said, changing into Rarity. “Don’t you want a kiss, Spikey Wikey?”
Spike started screaming. “AAAAH! IT’S THE CHANGELING!” Spike started running to the door, but then I flew in front of it blocking his exit.
“Relax, brah! Relax!” I said as I tried calming him down, still looking like Rarity.
“KEEP AWAY FROM ME, CHANGELING! Here, take the owl first!” Spike cried, pointing at Owlowiscious. Owlowisious just annoyedly facewinged himself.
“Spike, it’s ok! It’s me!” I said as I changed back to my changeling self.
“I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR TRICKS, CHANGELING! YOU WILL NOT TAKE ME ALIVE!” Spike yelled, protecting himself with a stool.
“Spike, stop being ridiculous. I’m not a cop.” I said as I used my magic to remove the stool from his hands.
“I will not fall for your tricks!” Spike yelled. “I know karate!”
“Bro, it’s me, Flare! Chrysalis said I couldn’t tell anypony, but you’re not anyPONY! Huh? HUH?!” I chuckled.
“Well… you sound like Flare, but…. IT’S NOT TRUE! FLARE IS NOT A CHANGELING!” Spike yelled.
“Spike, the last video game we played was Rage; I know you sleep with a blankey; I got you an XBUCKS for Hearth’s Warming; and the current password to get to my trailer is ‘I ATE THE BONES?!’” I said in the accent of the guy from the KFC Boneless chicken commercials.
Spike stopped getting scared, and he started looking into my eyes. “Flare?!”
“Sup brah?” I asked.
“B-but how?! You’re not a changeling! You’ve been a changeling this whole time?!” Spike asked.
“No, no! I just turned into one last night!” I said.
“But how?!” Spike asked.
“Well, it was a long story.” I AM NOT REPEATING THE WHOLE STORY AGAIN, you all know what happened, so I’ll just skip on to where I explained it to him already!
“Wow… I don’t believe this!” Spike said shockingly.
“The changelings need me, brah; and this was the only way I could help them. They’re not the disgusting evil creatures you think they are.” I said.
“Well…. I believe you, bro, but Twilight and the other’s are currently after a changeling.” Spike said.
“Yeah, I know, I heard the conversation.” I said.
“I didn’t see an extra pony in here? Who were you?” Spike asked.
“I was in the form of Psyche in the meeting, but Psyche isn’t here. He’s still paralyzed at Sugarcube Corner.” I informed him.
“Ah… Psyche crying like that kinda felt out of place a bit.” Spike nodded.
“So once they find out, they’ll be after you, you know?” Spike reminded me.
“They won’t find out, unless SOMEONE spills the beans!” I said as I smirked at Spike.
“What?” Spike asked.
“Don’t tell them!” I demanded.
“Who said you were the boss of me?” Spike asked.
“I’ll give you a Spikey-Snack if you don’t tell.” I said.
“Yeah it’s going to take A LOT more than a Spikey-Snack.” Spike said.
“Two Spikey-Snacks?” I asked.
“Ok, you win, I won’t say a thing.” Spike said.
“Excellent! Open wide!” I said as I took out two gems from Spike’s Spikey-Snack box and threw it in his mouth.
“Spikey-Spikey Doo!” Spike yelled out. “By the way, I’m taking advantage over the times I stay home because I then I’m able to watch soooooooo much classic Doctor Who.”
“Oh cool, which part you in?” I asked.
“Tom Baker’s third season.” Spike said.
“Wow that’s far!” I said impressively.
“Watching the black and white videos are hard sometimes because most of them are just sounds and pictures after some of the episodes went missing.” Spike said.
“Let’s make that the next Flare Through Time one. We go back and watch classic Doctor Who at its former glory.” I suggested.
“I agree.” Spike nodded.
Later that night, back at my shop, it was after closing time, and after Lyra and Bonnie were still competing really hard to get their employee of the month, they had to lock up and leave because it was closing time. “If it was my decision, I’d stay there all night.” Lyra said.
“That all you can do, Lyra? I’d stay there all month if I had to!” Bonnie said.
“Tomorrow I’m going to get myself Five Hour Energy, Red Bull, and coffee and then combine it all. Let’s see how awake I’d stay with THAT!” Lyra said.
After my employees all went out or range, Silver Link later came in to order the next batch of pizzas. “Hello, Flare!” Silver Link said.
“Sup brah?” I asked.
“Not much! How was your first day as a changeling?” Silver Link asked.
“It was great! With these new powers, I did pranks on other ponies, but others were to blame! You know what I mean?” I explained.
“I read you loud and clear!” Silver Link said. “Time for our next batch of pizzas!”
“Coming right up!” I said. As I started working, the Mane Six and the Noble Six were walking towards my shop, so they could prepare the trap for the changeling.
“This is so awesome! We’re going to catch ourselves a changeling!” Rainbow said excitedly.
“I know I’m so psyched out!” Crystal said. “Speaking of psyched out, where is Psyche?”
A cutaway shows Psyche still laying down on Sugarcube Corner still paralyzed on the floor. “When is this paralyzer going to ware off? I really have to pee!” he complained.
“Stay out of my bathroom!” Mr. Cake demanded.
“Here’s a measuring cup for you, dearie.” Mrs. Cake said as she places a measuring cup next to Psyche.
“Ew! You want me to pee in there?” Psyche asked.
“Meh… we get new ones every day since Pinkie normally breaks them all.” Mrs. Cake said. The cutaway ends.
Just before the Mane and Noble Sixes were able to walk inside my shop, they stopped instantly as Engie calls out. “Wait! Ah see the changeling!” he points inside my shop.
“I see it too! It’s inside Flare’s shop!” Rainbow said.
“Do you see Flare?” Flutters asked.
“No, but the lights in the kitchen are still on. Is Flare making a pizza for it?” Rainbow asked.
“Perhaps. Flare would accept anything as a customer as long as they pay.” Blaze said.
“Well, it seems Flare likes to take risks in his business.” Rarity said surprisingly. “I envy him for that.”
“We have to get inside and trap it!” Twilight said.
“Right! Follow my lead, I know just what to do!” Blaze said mischievously. Back inside, I was talking to Silver Link while cooking my food.
“Hey Flare, why you still in your regular pony form? No one is here but us.” Silver Link asked.
“I know, but I like my old form. Maybe you should change yourself into a pony too, just in case.” I suggested.
“Hey, Flare, you remember when you said yesterday when you felt like you were being watched?” Silver Link asked.
I sighed. “Sigh… yes… I know you want me to switch to Geico; well all these entertaining ads aren’t really going to get me any closer to it. I’m sticking with Allstate.”
Just then I heard a lot of racket coming in from the dining room. Heard some loud noises and some yelling. “What the?!” Silver Link yells. The racket was ruining my concentration so I went out there to check on everything. “WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!” I yelled. I saw my friends trapping Silver Link and tying it up. “WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!”
“We’re digging to Antarctica!” Crystal said in a high-pitched voice.
“Ant-who-ica?” I asked.
“Sorry, Flare, but this changeling is trespassin’ on pony property, and we’re bringing it to justice!” Engie said.
“YOU PONIES ARE NUTS!” Silver Link yelled.
“What is this all about?” I asked.
“This changeling has been pranking us all day! But the question is…. why?” Twilight asked.
“Ow, ow! You’re stepping on my wing!” Silver Link yelled.
“Oh…. It appears it is time to tell the truth.” I said.
“What are you talkin’ about, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked.
“Brahs, I have a confession to make.” I started. “Silver Link here is not the changeling that’s been pranking you all day…… I am.”
“What?!” they all said.
“Ha ha! Very funny, Flare!” Crystal laughed.
“You’re not a changeling, Flare.” Aqua said.
“Yes I am! I turned into one last night.” I said as I changed into Blaze. Everypony gasped.
“Whoa! Nice replica of me, Flare!” Blaze said shockingly.
“Oh woops… I can’t get this changing thing under control!” I complained as I changed into my regular changeling form and they all gasped. “You see….” And there I go explaining it all again. Getting really tired of explaining it a lot!
“So you’re the changelings only hope in saving them?” Twilight asked.
“Wow, Flare. That would explain a lot. You’re doing a great thing for them.” Flutters said.
“I don’t agree! Changelings are disgusting vile creatures! Why would you want to help them?” Blaze asked.
“Why not?” I asked.
“They feed upon us, and they nearly took over Equestria a few times already!” Blaze said.
“All they want is love, brah! Their kingdom is dying, and they need love! I can’t just cook pizzas for them! The ponies need to show some love and compassion to the changelings! How much do you know about them anyway?” I explained.
“You know what? Flare does have a point there.” Twilight said.
“Please, tell me you’re joking, Twilight!” Blaze complained.
“I’m not! I understand why Queen Chrysalis tries to impersonate as Cadance to get to my brother. The love those two have for eachother is strong! The changelings need the power of love to survive; otherwise they’ll just die out.” Twilight said.
“Well good!” Blaze said.
“What about me, Blaze? Do you have a problem with me? I AM a changeling after all!” I said.
“Only because they turned you into one! You’re the same ol Flare I knew before.” Blaze said.
“Blaze, c’mon!” Twilight begged.
“You all want to help them? Fine! Just leave me out of this!” Blaze said angrily as he walked out of the shop.
“What is his problem?” Engie asked.
“Can someone PLEASE untie me?” Silver Link asked. So we all untied Silver, and he got back up on his hooves.
“We’re sorry about all this.” Flutters said.
“Yeah, we didn’t know this was all just survival missions ya’ve been doing.” Aqua said.
“It’s ok. I’m glad we have an understanding.” Silver Link said.
“You know what? I think I have a way for us to fix this!” I said.
“Oh? Do tell!” Silver Link asked. So Twilight, Silver Link, and I went back to the Changeling kingdom to set things right. Twilight gave them supplies of love potion to help survive. While we were doing so, I was thinking of my message for Princess Luna:
“Dear Princess Luna, Not all evil beings are all they seem. They only do what they need to survive. I learned that the changelings need love in order to live-on, so I decided to help them, but I couldn’t stand on telling anypony else. If we can just explain every situation with your friends, I’m sure they’ll help out too. To those who have problems and the only way they think of doing it is an evil way, help them find a better alternative, otherwise don’t help them at all. Your friend, Crystal Iceblast. PS: This is actually Flare talking, but I formed myself as Crystal when I wrote this. L-O-L.”
“There we go, Chrysalis! Supplies of love potions that’ll keep your kingdom running for a long time.” Twilight said.
“Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. I was wrong about you. I’m sorry I banished you to the caves under Canterlot during the wedding.” Chrysalis said.
Twilight chuckled. “It’s no problem! You seemed to learn your lesson now.”
“For how long though?” Chrysalis asked. “I mean, it’s not me, it’s my mother you should be worried about. She hates ponies!”
“Well…. I don’t hate you, Chrysalis.” I said.
“I don’t hate you either, Flare Gun. Even though you irritate me, you’re not the weirdo I thought you were.” Chrysalis said.
“Don’t worry, it’s my friend Blaze you should be worried about. He still hasn’t gone over his hatred for the changelings.” I said.
“I’m sure if we just be patient, he’ll warm up to the idea!” Twilight said.
“And here, Chrysalis, maybe you also might want a friend to keep you company.” I suggested.
“Oh? What friend is that?” Chrysalis asked. Just then, I took the money with eyes out of my vest pocket and gave it to her. “What’s this?”
“The money you WILL be saving with Geico!” I said. “He’ll keep you company. Keep watch for trouble!”
“Wow… thank you, but….” Chrysalis stares at it for a sec and then starts to freak out. “Ehh, you keep it. It freaks me out.”
“It’s not even mine to give away.” I said as I threw the money with eyes aside.
“I hope my mother warms up to ponies as well.” Chrysalis said.
“CHRYSALIIIIIIIIIIS!” a voice was heard in the background.
“Oh shoot! It’s my mother!” Chrysalis yelled.
“Our work here is done anyway.” Twilight said. “Thanks for everything, Chrysalis!”
“If I ever come back to attack Equestria, it’s only to keep my mother from doing my job for me! Trust me, I was easy to Canterlot during the wedding crisis! If my mother were there, well…. Let’s not go into details.” Chrysalis said.
“It’s ok! C’mon, Flare! Let’s go home!” Twilight said.
“Right behind you, Light!” I said.
But just before we headed out, Chrysalis stopped me; “Wait, Flare Gun! There’s one more thing I need to do!”
“I am NOT giving you my secret recipe!” I swore.
“No, not that.” Chrysalis said as she used her magic on me, and she turned me back into my old pony self.
“W-what did you just do?” I asked as I looked at my hooves.
“I took away your changelings powers.” Chrysalis said.
“Aw whaaaaaat?!” I complained. “After all I done for you, you took away my changeling powers?!”
“Trust me, it’s for the best.” Chrysalis said as she winked at me.
“Awww. There were a few pranks I still needed to do!” I complained, but before I could finish, Twilight already teleported us both away. I’m no longer a changeling, and Blaze is happy that we got rid of them. I hope the love potions we gave Chrysalis will help the kingdom out. Now everything is back to normal! Although there is one thing I still need to do. I was at my shop with Bonnie and Lyra, and they were still working hard. I came out and said; “Alright! Lyra, Bon Bon! It’s time!”
“Awesome! Who wins employee of the month?” Lyra asked.
“The winner….” I started. “…. Of employee of the month…..” both of their eyes grew bigger and so did their smiles. “…. For this month…. Of January….. goes to….. a hardworking employee….. who done very well….. without much problems….. and is somepony I can trust completely….. and deserves to know the location of my secret recipe, in case something goes wrong….. and that particular pony is….. somepony that I love and dear as a friend-“
“OH FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE, FLARE!” Lyra yelled.
“C’mon! Tell us already!” Bonnie said.
“The winner is….. Derpy!” I said.
“WHAT?!” Lyra and Bonnie gasped in surprise.
“Yay! What did I win?” Derpy asked.
“How did Derpy win?” Bonnie asked.
“C’mon! She’s not even a full-time employee!” Lyra complained.
“Yes, and even though she made mistakes, she still worked hard, but she didn’t work for employee of the month like you two did. You two only worked to get it, even though you should be working hard all the time, and Derpy did the job!” I explained.
“You know what? You’re right, Flare. We did try too hard.” Bonnie agreed. “Derpy deserves to win.”
“What did I win?” Derpy asked.
“I guess we should’ve worked hard all this time, then we would’ve won employee of the month.” Lyra said.
“I’m glad you learned your lessons, but your effort shall not go unrewarded!” I said.
“Really? What did we win?” Lyra asked.
“I’ll take you all on a trip!” I said.
“Wow! Where are we going, Flare? On a sunny beach vacation?” Bonnie asked.
“Nope!” I said.
“A trip to a big city like Manehatten?” Lyra asked.
“Try again!” I said.
“Ooo, ooo! The Crystal Empire?!” Bonnie asked.
“BETTER THAN THAT!” I said.
“The recycling plant?” Derpy asked.
“Aw c’mon, there’s no way we’re going there!” Bonnie said as she rolled her eyes.
“Actually, we are!” I said.
“WHAT?!” Bonnie and Lyra both gasped again.
“C’mon! That trip is better than nothing!” I said.
“Yeah no thanks, we’d rather stay here, but thank you, Flare!” Lyra said.
“I second that!” Bonnie said. “C’mon Lyra, let’s go on our lunch break.” Lyra and Bonnie both left the shop to go to their lunch break.
I looked at Derpy and said, “It’s too bad. A full tour of the recycling plant, they give you a free pack of bottles full of root beer and a 1500 bit gift card to any gas station!”
“Oh well! I guess we’ll have fun without them!” Derpy said and giggled.
Meanwhile, over at Sugarcube Corner….
“I’m so going to kill Rainbow Dash next time I see her.” Psyche said, still paralyzed on the ground. “I somehow feel that I’m being watched.”
“Aww, you got me!” a random gecko complained. “But you could still save hundreds by switching to Geico!”
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I just cannot stop cumming.
This story, obviously, has amassed a huge collective of those dedicated to critiquing all of its flaws. And because there is such a large base of critics, this story has received a very low like/dislike ratio.
However, I must say this: in the face of overwhelming oppression, the author of this story has maintained the integrity to continue posting chapters. And in my opinion, no matter how terrible the story might actually be, this author deserves some consideration.
Have a like; it's on me
P.S: here's something to leave everyone thinking about integrity. It's the last portion of the autobiography Valerie wrote in V for Vendetta (the comic) before her death.