Don't Go Chasing Water Gun - Part 1

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If you’re reading this, then you must’ve made it passed Book 1! Mozel tov! I’m glad you’re here so we can continue the story where we left off! Anyways, if you’re new here, my name is Crimson Flare Gun, and I’ll be narrating the story. If you haven’t read Book 1 yet, it is recommended that you read at least chapters 1, 2, 4, 9, 10, 11, 13, 29, and 30 of that story because they’re important. Anyways, I’m from the city of Mareami and I run Flare’s Pizza Parlor, the best pizza joint in Equestria. I’m here in Ponyville to gain peace of mind. I like that song, don’t you? If you don’t like Boston, you must not have a good taste of music, way better than the music from today. Bleh! Katy Perry is ok though… and… wait I’m getting off track.

Anyways, I was picked on a lot back in Mareami because I was different. I met the Mane Six and they helped me feel welcomed. There were some rough times but we made it passed them. I then met Red Engineer and Crystal Iceblast.

Red Engineer, or Engie that we call him, is an exact replica of the engineer from Team Fortress 2, but a little different. I mean there are plenty of engineers so some are bound to be different. He’s great at mechanics but he’s also a jerk at times, but we love ‘em the same.

Crystal Iceblast, like Engie, I met her back when Lord Thorn was in town and we were fighting for an X-Wing he was selling. Oh wait, I didn’t mention that back at Engie’s description? Oh well, you know now. She’s nice, but she’s…. not the most intelligent in our group.

Blaze Goldheart is a draconian, half-pony, half-dragon with phoenix powers. Hey don’t call him OP! It’s who he is! Don’t hate him for who he is! How do you think those stripped bat-winged alicorn OCs that are married to Twilight feel? Anyways, Blaze is married Rainbow Dash and he’s a Wonderbolt. Very sensitive, but very loyal, much like his wife.

Psyche Illusion, the Meg Griffin our group, but still the smartest since he has a PH.D in astronomy. He corrects us a lot, but we wouldn’t be who we are today if we haven’t met him….. a bunch of jerks that burp in his face.

And finally we have Aquatic Armor, a very kind and quiet pony that always wears that same blue armor because it’s a family heirloom, but still, change your clothes every so often, brah!

Anyways, we’re the Noble Six, backups to the Mane Six. So that’s pretty much all you need to know about us. You’ll find out the rest in the story. Oh! I almost forgot! Have you watched Family Guy? You know the cutaway gags, right? Yeah, we do that here too, but don’t worry. Most of the things in the cutaway gags are usually non-canon….. usually. Oh, and also-

“Ok, narrator, I think they get the point. I’m getting really tired of just sitting here waiting for the signal. Can we move already?” I complained to myself while sitting on a branch of a tre- “Do they need to know all the details?”

Ok fine then. Is that really how much I complained back then? Wow. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the new lulz I have in stock for you, my friends! Let us begin!

It was three months since we stopped Discord and this so called 'doctor'. We all start our story with Spike the dragon, you know him right? Well if you're too stupid to realize. No I'm kidding, none of you are stupid! But if you need a friendly reminder, he's a purple dragon that lives with Twilight Sparkle, and he so far appeared in every chapter in my story. Now Spike is my bro. Not biological bro, but like a brutha from another mutha, or bro from another mo. Anyways, so Spike was walking through Ponyville, and he was humming a little tune and walking past the citizens of Ponyville. In the background, Derpy knocked into Golden Harvest and made her spill her groceries, even her milk. Good thing nopony cried. Anywho, let's just skip to the point. Spike was walking through the park, then while he passed a tree a pizza slice was thrown on his face.

"WHOA! What the?" he cried. He grabbed the pizza out of his face and looked at it with a confused look on his face. "Is this... pizza?" He looks up in the tree and sees me. "Flare?!"

"Sup brah?” I waved. “BAZINGA!”

"Somehow I knew this was your bidding." Spike said.

"I don’t bid. The bidder always talks to fast and I always end up buying something I can’t afford. Hey you interested in a grandfather clock?” I asked. “I already have a ku-ku clock and that’s loud enough.”

"What exactly are you doing anyway?" Spike asked.

"Take a wild guest." I said.

"A wild 'guest'?" he said confusingly. "You talking about Pinkie, right?"

"That poor excuse for a chef Lyra has been undercooking, overcooking, and spoiling my inventory, Spike. It's pretty disgusting!" I said. "I may do it sometimes, but Lyra is certainly losing it big time!"

"How would you know it's not Bon Bon?" Spike asked.

"I don’t, I’m automaticly assuming, like racist ponies.” I said. ”Besides, Lyra usually takes over the kitchen while I'm on break.”

"Maybe you should give her some pointers." Spike suggested.

"I don’t have any fingers, brah. See? You see a finger on here?” I asked him as I showed him my hoof.

“At least you’re not showing me a finger I wouldn’t like to see.” Spike said.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Nothing.” Spike said.

“No tell me.” I demanded.

“I… I really shouldn’t.” Spike said.

“Spike, I swear, you’re more worried than when River Song met Sweetie Belle.” I said.

A cutaway gag shows River Song from Doctor Who meeting Sweetie Belle. “Hello, sweetie!” River Song said.

“Umm… hi.” Sweetie Belle said awkwardly. “How does she know my name?” The cutaway ends.

"What is it exactly that you're doing anyway?" Spike asked.

"It's been a while since I had given Blaze a good prank. I've been trying to get him all week, but he just keeps dodging them." I explained.

"Blaze is a Wonderbolt, dude." he reminded me.

"So?" I asked.

"So, of course he's gonna dodge them." he said.

"How are you so certain? I was able to get Rainbow Dash and she did a Sonic Rainboom. Can other ponies do that?" I asked.

"Not that I know of, but perhaps the reason you got Rainbow Dash is because she's a mare." he said and laughed.

"Seriously? That's the best joke you can come up with? Like seriously actually?" I asked.

"You got a better one?" he asked.

"Yeah. Why did the chicken cross the road?" I asked.

"This better not be another Scootaloo joke, bro!" he complained. "Because that joke was dead for a long..." Before he can finish that sentence, I already threw a pizza on his face.

"To become flat like pizza 30 minutes or less!" I said and laughed. “Lawl lawl lawl!”

"That didn't make any sense!" he said.

"Didn't make any dollars either girly boy. Winky face." I said with a wink.

"Don't ever compare me to Michael Jackson again!" he said after I called him a 'girly boy'.

"Kay, I won't... manly girl." I teased him and then I threw another pizza at his face.

"DUDE!" Spike yelled. “You know if this spoiled pizza didn’t smell so…” Spike then takes a bite of the spoiled pizza I threw on his face. “… so good, then I’d…” he takes another bite. “… totally kill- oh to hay with it.”

“Don’t worry, I know who my targets are. I wouldn’t throw a pizza to a random pony.” I said. “Hey if you’re not busy tonight, how about we go play some Fable?”

"I'd say yes if I didn't accidently throw your X-BUCKS down the toilet." he said.

"WHAT?!" I yelled. "WHOA!" I then fell off the tree and landed in the bushes. "OUCH! I think I landed on my… umm… what’s a fancy word for neck?” I rubbed my neck as I got up and stepped out of the bushes.

"Look at your mane! You should see your mane right now!" he laughed. There were two branches on my mane like reindeer antlers. I used my unicorn magic to split the branches in half and then I threw them at Spike. "Alright, you asked for it now, bro!"

"Bring it on!" he said mischievously. I started throwing pizzas at him. "Ha! Missed me!" he teased. I kept missing him. "You wouldn't hit a baby dragon!" I threw another slice at him. "You couldn't hit a baby dragon!" I threw another one. "In fact you couldn't hit a barn door!"

"Hold still!" I yelled.

All the slices I threw went on another tree, a market stall, Derpy's face (except she seemed happy about it), some building walls, and many other places, including Twilight who was writing a letter to Celestia.

"Dear Princess Celestia. Today I learned..." A pizza went in her mouth before she could continue. She just chewed it and swallowed and continued writing.

Meanwhile, Zecora was making a potion, and while her back was turned, a pizza fell into her recipe. She puts some ingredients in the pot, stirs it, and gives it a taste.

"Mmm, a delightful taste sensation!" she said, but suddenly, she grows pimples all over her body. "But perhaps it's time I needed a vacation."

And even AppleJack and her brother Big McIntosh got affected. They were playing with horseshoes before it happened. "Alright, brother. You can do it!" AppleJack said. Big Mac was aiming for the horseshoe stick thingy and he throws two of his horseshoes, but misses. "That's alright, Big Mac. Ya got one more!" Just then, a pizza was suddenly thrown near AppleJack, but it hit her barn door. "Now what was that for?! Throwin’ pizzas at yer sister, while ah was just tryin to help!? How dare ya?!”

"Nnnnope.” Big Mac shook his head and said.

“Explain yourself!” AppleJack demanded.

“Nnnope.” Big Mac said.

“Oh yeah because then the fandom would go crazy if ya said anythin’ else, right?” AppleJack asked.

“Eeyup!” Big Mac nodded.

“Alrighty then.” AppleJack said.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy just finished bathing her bunny Angel. "There we go. All done!" she said. Angel wiped his forehead, relieved that his bath was over. “I do hope nothing falls out of the sky and lands on you, Angel, because then I’d have to bathe you again.” Just then, a safe falls on Angel. “Oh… my.” Fluttershy turns the combination of the safe and opens it, and Angel’s head was sticking out of the bottom and stars were floating around his head. “Are you ok, Angel?” she asked. Angel dizzingly walked out of the safe, until my pizza falls on him. “I guess another bath then?” Flutters asked with an embarrassing smile and squee.

Now, Mr. and Mrs. Cakes was getting a giant wedding cake done, and Pinkie Pie was in there helping. Suddenly, the babies were crying upstairs. "Oh dear." Mr. Cakes said.

"Don't worry Mr. Cakes! I'll take care of this!" Pinkie said.

"Actually... mind if we do it? Just watch over the cake, and make sure it doesn't get ruined, will ya please?" Mrs. Cake asked.

"I can do that too!" Pinkie said with a squee.

As the Cakes walked upstairs, Mrs. Cake mumbled, “Knew we should’ve hired that babysitter.

“Edward Scissorhovves had bad ratings.” Mr. Cake said.

As the two bakers walked upstairs, Pinkie turns to the cake and smirks at it. "Nope, you ain't fooling me this time, pal! I am not eating you! So I'm just gonna turn around, and when I turn back, you'll be exactly the same!" Pinkie turns around, and then Pinkie turns back and the cake was still the same. "There! Just as I left it!” Just then, one of my pizzas splatters on her face.

"Thank you, dear! We knew we can count on-" Mrs. Cake said but got stopped after they saw there was pizza on her Pinkie’s face.

“I protected the cake, just like you asked!” she said.

“You know, I’ve seen weirder.” Mr. Cake said.

And then the last slice of pizza I threw landed on Blaze’s face. “HEY!” he complained.

Spike and I looked at Blaze, and then I gave Spike a smirk. "Well, well, well! I believe my work here is done! I hit Blaze and I hit a barn door. Sooo… yeah. Lawl at your face.” I said as I poked Spike’s nose. He then slapped my hoof away. "Spike my friend; someday you'll understand the wonderful nature of pranking.

“I do know the wonderful nature of pranking. I grew up with Twilight, her brother, and a princess that likes to play jokes, so I pretty much know a bunch of pranks, and I know how to defend myself. I’m a black belt at Kung Fu and I know a great deal of it.” Spike explained.

“Well I grew up with a bunch of bullies, so I pretty much can handle any type of physical confrontation, be it noogies, swirlies, purple nurples, wet whillies, and of course the ultimate classic – why are you hitting yourself?” I explained.

Blaze marched towards us with pizza sauce and cheese all over his face. "Flare? Is this your work?" he asked as held a pizza on his hooves.

"No, that's Lyra's work. I don't spoil my pizzas. I'm well experienced in the fine art of this particular culinary." I said.

"I see." Blaze said. "What's going on guys?"

"I was just mailing this letter from Twilight to Princess Cadance when I just ran into Flare - whom started throwing pizzas at me." Spike said.

"These pizzas weren't meant for you at first. They were for Blaze." I said.

"You made all these pizzas for me?" Blaze asked.

"No, like I said, Lyra made the pizzas. I just thought of disposing them properly.” I corrected him.

“By throwing them at me.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, pretty much.” I nodded.

"I see.” He nodded.

"So what's going on, brah?" I asked him.

"Nothing much. I just came back from Wonderbolt training.” Blaze said. “It turns out that if you do a flip while holding your tail, it’ll give you huge cramps on your shoulders. What's going on with you, man?"

"I was throwing pizzas at Spike until you showed up." I said.

"And you missed me completely." Spike said with a smirk, but then I just threw a pizza on his face. “How did I not see that coming?”

"Hey Blaze, quick head’s up, Lauren Faust said Rainbow Dash is gonna have a boyfriend so you better watch out.” I warned him.

“She doesn’t work for Hasbro anymore, dude.” Blaze corrected me.

“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t gain the news.” I corrected him. “So you better prepare yourself.”

“Uh huh.” Blaze said in an uncaring tone. “Anyways, you two want to see a cool new trick I learned?”

"No thanks Blaze, I gotta deliever this letter." Spike said. "How about you Flare?"

"Why are you asking me if Blaze wants to show me something?” I asked. “Anyways, I gotta head back to work, but I'll catch you brahs on the flipside, but the question is, where is the flipside? That the other side of Equestria or something?" I asked. “Or are we talking about something Discord-related? OH, maybe we’re talking about something dirty.”

"Alright, it's cool bro. I'll see ya around!" Blaze said.

"Cya dude!" Spike said.

"Oh, one more thing. Don’t say what, but I have something really cool to show you!" I said.

“What?” they both asked.

I then shoved some garlic rolls in their mouths. "I told you not to say what, but did you listen? Did you listen? Anyways, those are free of charge, T-T-Y-L!" So I started trotting across down, looking at all the ponies doing their jobs or playing, or maybe even playing on an arcade machine that is questionably outside. I look around and I see ponies buying off of stalls, I see the Cutie Mark Crusaders that are jumping rope, I see ponified Sheldon Cooper complaining about why his tomatoes are a day old instead of just getting picked that very day, and eventually I see two of my friends, Aquatic Armor and Crystal Iceblast playing chess.

"King me!" Crystal yelled after putting one of her pawns at the end of the chess board.

"This isn't even checkers, Crystal." Aqua reminded her.

"King me! So give me back my queen!" Crystal yelled.

"Are you two playing chess? Did you know chess is for NEEEERDS?!” I teased.

"So? What's wrong with being a nerd?" Crystal asked.

"I see ya play chess sometimes, Flare." Aqua said to me.

"Yeah, but I suck at it. You’re only a nerd if you’re winning.” I said.

"So that makes you the nerd, Aqua!" Crystal yelled while standing on her chair and pointing to Aqua's face and even poking his nose. Just then Aqua, takes out a container hoof sanitizer and rubs it on his muzzle.

“Have nothing to say back, Aqua? Heh.” Crystal chuckled. “Nopony ever has any insult to give me back, that’s why I’m the alpha-mare.”

“Why you the alpha-mare?” I asked.

“On the internet, somepony insults me, I say something back that looks like I’m teasing them and they say nothing back. Alpha-mare! Also, it means that I’m not released to the public so don’t look at me.” Crystal explained.

“Alright, what about you, Aqua?” I asked.

"Well I did fix a water leak at the water plant today. Other than that, it's just an ordinary day." Aqua said.

"Yeah a little too ordinary. I wonder when we'll have another epic adventure?" Crystal asked.

Aqua gave himself a facehoof. "Oh dear Celestia, not another adventure. That last one we had was good enough for me. I think everypony is well aware of the Noble Six now." he said.

“Excuse me, Aqua?” I asked.

“Sorry… oh my LUNA. Happy now?” Aqua asked.

“I’m not unhappy.” I said. “Anyways, yeah, I agree, I’m still lovin’ this Noble Six thing.”

“Same here, Flare! Same here!” Crystal said excitedly.

"I'm glad you are, Crystal! I'm glad you are!" I said. "See? I told you the Noble Six would be in control. I told you they'd be known!"

"I never denied it in the first place." Aqua said.

"Really? Because I… I thought it was you that thought that thought… wait… I thought, you thought… hang on…. I thaw you thaw- sigh…” I had trouble saying what I needed to say. “I thought you thought the Noble Six wouldn’t thought… oh for Wizard of Hope’s sake.”

“I-I get what ya’re sayin’ Flare, no need to blow a fuse.” Aqua said.

“What?” I asked as my ears sparked. “Anyways, I thought you thought the Noble Six wouldn’t be well known.”

"No that was Psyche." he said.

"Oh yeah, that's right?" Crystal nodded. “It’s always Psyche that seems to disagree, doesn’t it?”

"Well you two enjoy your little chess game. I'm heading back to work and… umm… I dunno… work. I guess that’s the best excuse I can make. I said, and then trotted away.

"Cya, Flare!" Aqua said.

"Wait, he didn't even wait to hear our goodbyes." Crystal said to Aqua.

"Oh wait, B-T-W..." I said as I walked back to them. "GARLIC ROLLS!" I shoved more garlic rolls into their mouths and trotted off again.

So I trotted around until I finally reached my shop. I do say the word ‘trotted’ a lot, don’t I? Anyways, I went inside, put on my apron that says 'SHOOP DA COOK' on it, and then I put on my hair net. Two friends of mine were walking in my store, Engie and Woodenshy. Engie was blabbering on to him on how to get rust off pipes, and Woodenshy was holding his ears while Engie wasn't looking.

"And that's why the rust is a chemical change not a physical." Engie said to him. Woodenshy put his hoof on his head like he was holding and gun, and made a shooting sound. "Ah mean ah know while ya are tryin’ to put the rust off using windex might help..." Woodenshy kept making suicidal hoof gestures. "... but ah can let ya borrow this information, if ya promise not to get food on it ‘n stuff."

"No thanks, I'm good." Woodenshy said to him.

"Hey Engie! Hey Woodenshy!" I said to them.

"Howdy Flare! Ya wanna hear this info on how to clean rust off of pipes?" Engie asked me.

"No!" Woodenshy whispered at me, shaking his head and hooves real fast.

"No thanks, Engie. I got stuff to do right now." I said.

“Hey, Flare?” Engie asked.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“You do realize toothpicks are less safe to use than dental floss, right?” he asked me as he pointed to the basket of toothpicks on my counter. “Besides, floss is more effective. Ya should really replace these.”

“You can put that in my suggestion box over there.” I pointed to a suggestion box hanging on the wall.

Engie nodded. “That might work.” So I trotted into the kitchen, but Engie wasn’t done talking to Wood. "Hey Wood, ya wanna hear how to remove bubble gum off of skunks?" Wood just sighed and gave himself a facehoof.

So I trotted into the kitchen (I know I said it, but I wanted to say it again) and I saw Lyra cooking. "There you are, boss!" she said.

"Hey Lyra! Just threw out those spoiled pizzas for ya!” I said as I winked at her and made a ‘saliva going through my side teeth’ sound.

"Thanks! So I can go back to the tables now?" she asked me.

"No. I want you to clean out the dumpster." I said to her.

She frowned. "You're joking right?"

"Of course I am. Go back to those tables, underling!" I said to her as I laughed like an evil mastermind, but without the mastermind part.

"Yippie!" she said excitedly as she ran outside.

“You know throughout the time she’s worked for me, she hasn’t talked about humans as much as the fandom thinks.” I said. So I started to make some pizzas. I was about to be a couple in the oven when suddenly, Bonnie hooved me over an order from the window.

"Order up!" Bonnie said.

"Thanks, Bonnie!" I said. I started to read the order and it was a space dessert pizza with extra moon cookies and a coffee for a drink, nothing dairy. "This order can only mean one thing... PSYCHE!" I cried out in excitement. So I made the pizza, got the coffee, and went over to find my buddy Psyche at a table. "I had the feeling you were here, bro!"

"How did you know?" Psyche asked. "Bon Bon tell you?"

"Nope. I just know everything, brah! Everything... everything... everything... everything..." I kept echoing in his ear.

He chuckled. "Alright, Flare. I get your point." he said to me.

"So what's going on, Meg- I MEAN PSYCHE?" I asked him.

"Well I started my day with waffles." he said.

"For breakfast right?" I asked.

"No for dinner." he said sarcastically.

"Really? But it's only 1:30." I said.

"I was being sarcastic, dude." he reminded me.

"You should know by now that I suck at sarcasm.” I said.

He sighed. "Sometimes I still wonder why I hang out with you."

"Cause I'm so awesome possum, and you less then three me." I said and flexed. "I mean who can outmatch Flare Gun's good looks? Check out these guns! BOOM BOOM, BABY! Headshot! Flare Gun’s guns, can’t beat ‘em!”

Psyche chuckled. "Yeah, that's totally the reason why I still hang with you." he said sarcastically.

"Sarcasm?” I asked.

"Oh congratulations, you just found out what sarcasm means. Have a cookie." Psyche offered.

I my eye pupils began to grow as Halleluiah started playing in the background and an XBUCKS achievement popped up on the lower right-hoof corner of the screen. I said in a high pitched voice, “OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOSH! HA HAAAA! I did it! Ahhhhhh! YEAH, HA HAAAA!”

“Umm… ok.” Psyche said in a confused tone. "So Flare? Have you considered..."

"Wait, where's my cookie?" I asked him cutting him off.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Where's my cookie? You said I can have a cookie." I said.

"Oh so you just found out what sarcasm means, and now you just forgot that fast?" Psyche asked.

“THAT WAS SARCASUM TOO?! You can’t do that, brah! I was so excited to have that cookie and you just ruined it for me! Get out! Get out of my shop, now!” I demanded. “Get outta here, stalker!”

“No, Flare, c’moooooon. Here, have a jelly-baby.” Psyche offered as he takes out his bag of jelly-babies.

“Jelly-babies? Seriously, Psyche? You have no self-respect.” I said as I put my hoof in his jelly-baby bag and took some out. “You think jelly-babies are going to help with this situation?” I asked him angrily as I ate them. “Oh those are good! But that doesn’t change a thing! Gimmie that!” I snatched the jelly-baby bag out of his hooves and started to eat them all up. “You think these jelly-babies…” I scoff down a hoof-full. “Mmm! …Are gonna help me feel better?! Mmm!”

“You enjoy that dude.” Psyche smiled and winked at me.

“I still want that cookie later.” I demanded as I kept scoffing down jelly-babies. “Thanks for the jelly-babies.” I gave the bag back to him. “You can have the rest.”

“This better not be an empty bag you’re giving me.” Psyche hoped.

“Don’t worry, I left something in there.” I said.

“One… ok… better than nothing.” Psyche said as he looked inside the bag and nodded.

“Anyways, I gotta go back to work, but like always, it’s great seeing you. Smiley face.” I said.

“Nice to be seen.” Psyche teased. So I gave him a bro-hoof and walked back into the kitchen.

Ok now that I reintroduced the main characters of the series, Engie, Aqua, Crystal, Psyche, and Blaze, we can finally get started with the story! Oh? You thought that was part of the story? Noooo, it was just a little humor to get things warmed up. Our real story begins as the Mane Six come into my shop, and from this day forward, my life in Ponyville will never be the same again.

“Mane Six! Good to see you! I am so glad you can show up on this very day!” I said excitedly.

“The pleasure is our’s, dear!” Rarity said.

“I want a dessert pizza, Flare!" Pinkie cried out in excitement and hopped on her chair.

"Alright Pinks, calm down!" I said with a chuckle. "So what's going on with you girls?"

"Oh, Princess Celestia gave us an important task." Fluttershy said.

"Yeah, it seems Princess Cadance needs our help over at the Crystal Empire. So we decided to get lunch before we head off." AppleJack said.

"She needs help with a certain job she assigned Twilight over there. It's gonna be so awesome!" Rainbow Dash said in excitement.

"The Crystal Empire, huh? Never been there actually. Are they considered Canadians to us?" I asked.

"What's a Canadian? I mean, if you don't mind me asking." Fluttershy said.

“Ah dunno. Jibberish word. Sounds pretty alien.” AppleJack said.

“Wait, AppleJack, NO!” Rainbow yelled.

“ALIENS?!” Pinkie freaked out. “THE ALIENS ARE COMING! THEY’RE GONNA RIP OFF OUR INTERNAL ORGANS! What do the aliens even look like? Probably like Jimmy Fallon! Oh my Faust! ALIENS!”

“Ok, Pinkie, calm yourself, there are noooo aliens.” Rainbow said as she flew over to Pinkie and held onto her shoulders.

"Sorry about that, Flare.” Twilight said.

“It’s no trouble. As long as Pinkie’s the one doing it, it’s fine.” I said. “When other ponies start doing it, other’s would find it weird. I really don’t know how that works, or why.”

“Got it, Flare.” Twilight nodded.

“Also I’m acknowledged by the Friendship Agreement to accept it regardless, unless of a possible situation such as a chaotic apocalypse, donkey rebellion, tornado of any sorts created by pegasi or otherwise, or even the possibility of an alien invasion.” I explained.

“ALIENS!” Pinkie yelled.

“Oh c’mon, Flare! I just calmed her down!” Rainbow Dash complained.

“Why do you still have that agreement, darling?” Rarity asked. “Didn’t Twilight graduate you from her tutoring you on friendship?”

“I maybe a pro on friendship, as the diploma says, but I am still not going to take any unnecessary risks. To whomever I’m friends with shall regardless, under any circumstances, receive any fully sign a Friendship Agreement. It stops betrayal.”

"I tried talking him out of it once, it won’t work.” Twilight whispered to Rarity.

"Yeah she did.” I said.

“Ha-how did you hear me?” Twilight asked.

“I have ears like a Vulcan. Live long and prosper.” I said as I held my hoof up trying to do the hand signal, but… well you know.

"Hey Flare, have you seen Blaze's new trick yet?" Rainbow asked me.

"Oh I didn't have time, Dashie. I had to get back to work, but I told him I wanted to see it later though." I said.

"Alright. It sure is awesome though!" she said.

"Hey, where's Spike?" I asked.

"Right here." he said beside me.

"When did you get there?" I asked him.

"Ever since you said you trying to do the Vulcan hand signal." Spike said as he shows the Vulcan hand-signal to me.

“Show off.” I said angrily at him.

“Tell me about it.” Lyra said in an annoyed tone while carrying a tray of dishes to the kitchen.

"Are you going to the Crystal Empire with them?" I asked.

"Yep!" Spike said.

"Alright good. I grown tired of Spike getting left out of your adventures, Twilight." I said.

"Don't worry, I'm taking your advice, Flare." Twilight said.

"Ooo, Flare! You wanna come to the Crystal Empire with us?" Pinkie asked me.

"Sure! I love to!" I said. "Can the other Noble Six go too?"

"Of course, silly!" Pinkie said.

"Then it's settled! I just need to do a few things to do here and we'll head on out." I said.

"We still need our food though, sugarcube." AppleJack reminded me.

"Ah right!” I nodded. “Don't worry, Jackie! I'll get right on it." Just then, suddenly a blue unicorn with a red vest, a long straight brown mane, a briefcase cutie mark, and black boots on walks inside the shop, looking around.

"Hey who's that?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Hmm... with that fashion, she kinda looks like Flare." Rarity said.

"Who looks like Flare?" I asked as I looked around.

"Her. You know who she is, darling?" Rarity asked as she pointed to the blue pony.

I looked over and saw the pony. "Oh that's just another customer." I said, but then I realized who she really was. My eyes grew, and my pupils shrunk. "Surprise Face! WATER!" I ran over to the pony. She looked at me with a confused look.

"Huh? Do I know you from somewhere?" the pony asked.

I followed along with her. "Maybe, I dunno." I said with a shrug. "You just kinda looked like a pony I knew from the past."

"Oh really? You talking about your sister, right?" she asked.

"Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm talking about my sister's identical twin. Lion face." I said. We both looked away from eachother, but then smiled and she tacklehugs me.

"FLAAAAAARE!" she cried out in excitement

"WAAAAATER!" I excitedly yelled as I hugged her, and spinning her around.

“Oh… I’ve been replaced.” My friend Adventure Blade, or Keith as we call him said upsettingly.

“KEEEEEEEEITH!” I said excitedly at him.

“Flaaaaaaaaaaare!” Keith said excitedly.

“Somepony I never meeeeeeeeeeeeeet!” Water said excitedly to Keith.

“No… only Flare can do that.” Keith said as he walked off.

"Awww! What a sweet reunion, don't you girls agree?" Fluttershy commented.

"So you know her, Flare?" AppleJack asked.

"Know her? KNOW HER?! I am disappointed that would actually think that, AJ. Like seriously actually." I said. "Nah, I'm kidding. This is my older sister, Water Gun."

"Yeah, I'm his older sister, Water Gun." Water repeated.

"Nice to meet you Water Gun!" Twilight said walking towards her with her hoof out. “My name is-“ But just then, Pinkie jumps in front of her and started shaking her hoof.

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm a friend of Flare's!" she said in a fast tone. "Any friend of Flare's is a friend of mine! I love making friends! Love, love, love! Flare is super-dooper fun, and since you're related to him, you must be so super dooper fun too!"

"Yes, I suppose you can say that." Water said to her. Pinkie was still shaking her hoof really fast.

I chuckled. "Alright Pinkie, that's enough, sista!"

Pinkie lets go. "Okay, Flare!" She then sat down. "Now where's the food?" she complained.

"We didn't order yet, Pinkie." Rainbow Dash reminded her.

"Here, how about getting acquainted with my other friends?" I said to her. "This is Twilight Sparkle, the magical reading machine. She was my personal friendship teacher here in Ponyville. Teaching me everything I need to know!”

“Nice to meet you, Twilight! You look very pretty.” Water said.

“Oh thank you!” Twilight said. “But my friend Rarity here is better known for her looks.”

“Don’t I look pretty, darling?” Rarity asked.

“Hmmm…. Meh. So-so.” Water admitted.

“Oh… I don’t like her already.” Rarity mumbled.

“She’s pretty though!” Water pointed to Fluttershy.

“Oh! That’s Fluttershy, my Ponyville mom!” I said.

“Oh, so you’re THEE Mama Fluttershy?” Water asked.

“I… umm… yeah… I… am.” Fluttershy stuttered, not really looking at Water.

“She’s shy, but you’re gonna love her! I got to her when I’m upset or sick. She sang Soft Dalek to me.” I explained.

“Oh I love Soft Dalek!” Water said. “Oh if only I was sick today.”

“So you heard of Fluttershy, huh? Has Flare told you about me?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yes! You are… umm…. Spike, right?” Water asked.

“No…” Rainbow said with a glare. “I’m Rainbow Dash.”

“Ooooooh! Flare only mentioned you once when he was talking about his friend Blaze.” Water said.

“Oh so you talk about Blaze, but you don’t talk about me?!” Rainbow complained to me.

“I dunno a lot about you.” I said.

“Doesn’t Blaze tell you?” Rainbow asked.

“You two only reunited several months ago!” I reminded her.

“So which one is Spike?” Water asked.

“Him.” I pointed to him, and Spike waves to her.

“You hang out with a child?” Water asked. “That’s sick, bro.”

“Sick as in cool or sick as in… BLAH?” I asked.

“Blah.” Water said.

“Yeah I told him that at first.” Spike said.

“But still… it’s pretty cool that you hang out with a dragon!” Water said.

“Affirmative.” I agreed.

"Nice to meet you Water!" Spike said.

“Likewise!” Water agreed.

“And of course, we have AppleJack here! The most noble pony in the group and yet she’s underrated.” I said.

“Howdy, Water!” AppleJack said.

“You’re friends with a redneck too, huh?” Water asked.

“What?” AppleJack asked insultingly.

“No, no, she’s not a redneck. She’s southwestern. Her brother is a redneck.” I corrected her.

“Ok that there is true.” AppleJack admitted.

Water then looked around my shop and said, “I really like the look of your pizza shop, bro! You did a pretty cool job setting it up!”

"Like it? Best pizza parlor in Equestria! Over there is Lyra and Bonnie. They work for me." I said to her.

"I see." Water said. “You said you built this building from scratch, right?”

“Well, I do have Swinebutt’s robots to thank for it.” I said.

“HA!” Pinkie started laughing. “Swinebutt! That’s a funny name!”

“Who’s Swinebutt?” AppleJack asked.

“Oh Swinebutt is-“ Water started, but I cut her off.

“Umm… that’s a story we can come to another time. How about that food, huh Mane Six?” I asked.

“We didn’t order yet.” Twilight said reminded me.

“I’ll get your food right away.” I said as I ran into the kitchen to start up the Mane Six’s order.

“Sooo… Flare’s sister, huh?” Rainbow asked.

“If you would’ve been listening, you’d know.” Water said.

“Yeah… that’s definitely Flare’s sister.” Rainbow said in an annoyed tone.

“So… umm… what brings you to Ponyville?” Fluttershy asked.

"So what brings ya into Ponyville, Water?" AppleJack asked her.

"Well I was traveling around the world,but I traveled through all of it already, so now I decided to come see my brother in Ponyville." Water said.

"Aw, that's so sweet, Water." Fluttershy said.

“Hey since Flare thinks of you as a mom, I guess you should be a mom to me too then.” Water said.

“I… suppose.” Flutters said.

"So what do you do for a living, darling?" Rarity asked.

"Travel. See my briefcase plot tattoo?" Water asked pointing to her cutie mark. "That's my special talent, but a briefcase can mean anything. Anything can be inside it, that’s why I have all these spells. Mainly water spells though.”

“Just like Aqua!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Oh yeah, Flare did mention an ‘Aquatic Armor’ as a friend of his.” Water remembered.

“He talks about the quiet armored pony, but he doesn’t talk about me, huh?” Rainbow complained.

"Well I'm sure you'll love it here in Ponyville, Water.” Twilight said. “It is always so peaceful around these parts. Just ask your brother. He says the ponies here are alot nicer than where you two are from."

"Oh yeah, Mareami is like that. If you don’t believe him, take my word for it.” Water said.

"Of course.” Twilight said. "So anything else to tell us a little bit about yourself, Water?"

"Well I'm four years older than Flare, but we were like the best of friends when we were younger. We did everything together!" Water explained. "We ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint flavored dental floss. We both also had the same problems when we were younger. It was him and me against the world."

"Oh, we're sorry to hear that, Water." Fluttershy said.

"Yeah I started traveling a year before Flare moved here. Flare was alone, but I kept in touch with him. I loved traveling around the world with my coltfriend!" Water said.

"Your coltfriend, huh?" AppleJack asked.

"Yeah. He had some errands to do." Water said. "So what about you guys? Tell me a bit about yourselves."

"Well..." Rainbow Dash started, but then Water's cell phone started ringing.

"Hang on a sec." Water said as she picked up the phone. "Hello? Oh hey, bro!"

"Is she talking to Flare?" Rainbow Dash whispered to her friends.

"Yeah I see you." Water said, waving to me who was in the kitchen. "Yeah I saw you wave, you saw me? Awesome!" The Mane Six just looked at eachother, confused, except for Pinkie.

"Ooo! Tell Flare I said hi!" Pinkie asked Water.

"What's her face said hi." Water said to me on the phone.

"What's her face? My name is Pinkie." Pinkie reminded her.

"I know, right?" Water said to me. "You use purple onions? Not green? Purple onions are pretty spicy, bro, and you have more of a chance of crying. Yes I seen you cry before. So what that I cry more than you? Well fine, be that way! WAAH WAAH WAHH!" Water teased. "Alright, less than three you too, bro. Bye." Water hangs up. "That was my brother on the phone." She said to the Mane Six.

"You don't say?" Rainbow Dash said to her sarcastically.

"I do say! I remember that one time I talked to Flare at school, and we never hung up! The call was still on for the entire day. So we used up all our minutes. Pretty crazy, huh?" Water explained.

"WOW!" Pinkie said in shock. "That really is crazy! Like oatmeal!" The other Mane Six were just confused on what Water was talking about.

"Oooookay. I wonder where our food is?" Rarity asked.

"Ya can't rush perfection, Rarity. Flare likes to make his food perfect." AppleJack said.

"Tis true. Like all fashion must be perfect, I believe I understand why Flare's trying so hard and so slow to get our meals ready." Rarity said. "Then again, he could be slacking off."

"Oh, I don't think so. I think the first thing you said is true." Fluttershy said.

Eventually, I came back with the food for the Mane Six. They thanked me, and they ate up their meals. Right after they paid, AppleJack asked me, "So sugarcube, ya ready to go?"

"Where?" I asked.

"To the Crystal Empire." AppleJack said to me.

"Oh, right. Well since my sister is in town, I might as well show her around. OH! I rhymed!" I said.

"Awww." Pinkie said upsettingly.

"It's okay, Flare." Twilight said.

"If I can, maybe I'll catch up later. But I'll catch up, only if you mustard." I teased.

"Well darling, I hope your sister enjoys her stay." Rarity said.

"I will!" Water said to her.

"Tell Cadance I said hi." I said.

"Will do!" Twilight said to me. So we all said good-bye and the Mane Six and Spike all left for the Crystal Kingdom.

"So Flare, how about showing me around town?" Water asked me.

"Wait, we should wait for my break to start." I said to her.

"Kay." she said to me. Then we both were silent for 5 seconds.

"Alright, break time! Let's go." I said to her. “Oh wait, before I leave the shop, I should collect.” I tapped on a giant pizza symbol floating on top of my shop, and then bits and element of harmony shards spreads out throughout the outside, and then I collected them all. “Ok, let’s go, but I have come back in a few hours to collect more.” So we both went outside and started trotting around town.

"So what happened since you moved to Ponyville?" Water asked me while we were trotting.

"I opened up a pizza shop, I befriended the Helmets of Armory, and I even had my own adventures!" I said to her.

"Oh yeah?" she asked to me.

"Aww yeah!" I said to her. "You should've seen me fighting those Changelings at the royal wedding." I started doing certain karate moves. "The changelings were no match for the fierce power of my hornsaber, flare, and especially not mah lazor. AH HA!" I accidently kicked a market stall and it toppled over. The pony watching the stall glared at me, and I just did an embarrassing smile, with a squee and walked away, and then Water and I continued trotting. "Oh and I also went back in time with Spike. We were wearing cardboard boxes like we were Solid Snake or something."

"Interesting!" Water said to me. "I had lots of adventures myself around Equestria. Like when I saw those ancient ruins, been through museum robberies, and I met somepony when we were in Baltimare and we’ve really hit it off.”

"Oh really?" I asked her.

"Really really!" she said. “He’s now my coltfriend.”

"Well, I didn't know you had a coltfriend. When and how did you meet?" I asked.

"We met in Baltimare at a sports club. We were both watching Nashorse. His name is Fonz Punkskull, and he's been very sweet to me!" she said.

"He's been taking good care of you, huh?" I asked.

"Yep! He protects me, and makes sure I live happily and healthy." she said.

"Well, let me tell you a bit about this town. It's very nice, and the pony folk are nice too." I said. "The only problem is, everything looks like it's still in the 1700s., and the technology here isn't very 21st century."

"That's why South Equestria can be cooler in some ways than North Equestria." Water said.

"But I'll tell you a little bit of what goes on around here." I said to her. “Our medication mainly comes from a zebra and our main source of food around here comes from southwesterns, but that’s not so bad, because let me tell you all the positive things I have to say about Ponyville that I remember.”

Just then, I began to start singing in a similar fashion to Jimmy Buffet’s song ‘The Weather is Here’. "I got worked up all my life, just wanted a few months alone." Then I was holding some lettuce and tomato. "But here's the lettuce and tomato, makes ponies just work up their fome. But Shoeshine complains of her diet. Trying to lay off the Holiday nog. Bon Bon's phone never stops ringing, she just keeps on texting her dog.”

“DON’T YOU DARE COMPARE ME TO MY COUNTERPART FROM .MOV! THAT’S OFFENSIVE!” Bonnie yelled.

I continued to sing, “Well Cherry Berry is on strike before she got her first pay day. And hear Parasol's mumbling makes me feel ponies just say neigh. Sea Whirl spends to much time on vacation, and Lemon Hearts is late to every town meeting. Dizzy Twister's mane makes me puke, just sayin that can make me sound mean. The happy is here, even though it's nudiful, nopony wears clothes, but don't run away. I mean Derpy's a klutz, but so very boldiful. I mean, everypony's special in our own special way. I feel idiotic today."

“Wow, you make this town sound very interesting. But they might only be rumors.” Water said. “Can you prove to me that this town is worth visiting, let alone living?”

“I dunno. Can a hippo wear a tu-tu?” I asked.

“I watched Fantasia so yeah, I guess.” Water said.

“Let me take you on a hot air balloon ride and I’ll show you.” I said.

So Water and I were on a hot air balloon, floating around the city as I continued singing. "Well now that's just the start of a well-deserved afternoon best. Meanwhile back in Mareami, certain ponies are starting to care less. My lawyers are calling some parents, of the Cutie Mark Crusaders attempts. I envy them for not giving u-up. But I know they'll never get its. The happy is here, it's never ever moldiful, the skies are partly cloudy with a chance of friendship. The ponies aren't cold, they make public funable, there's no place like home, so forget about that place! I'll go scream IN YOUR FACE! HA HAAAAA! In your face! Woo!”

“You’re starting to get me, bro. You’re really starting to get to me!” Water said. “I’m really starting to believe what Ponyville is all about.”

“Well, all I’m telling you is opinions, but you are yet to know the facts.” I said.

“Will you tell me the facts?” Water asked.

“Probably not, I’ll just give you more opinions.” I said. “But you can pretend they are facts. I won’t stop you there!”

“Fair enough.” Water agreed.

So we ended our balloon ride and then we started riding a Taxi carriage around town. Water was sticking her head out the window with her tongue out like a dog. I was in the carriage, relaxing, and continued singing. "If I ever go back, I'll let them learn all that I had. Because this town is old, but I don't think it's really half-bad." I went to the other window and looked at the sky. "Even if I miss my life with the palm trees, even if my life was insane." Water went over to me and put her hoof on my shoulder. I just looked at her. "And if it doesn't work out, I'll never have any doubt, that this pleasure is worth all the PAIN! RAH!" Water was startled when I yelled 'RAH'. We stood in the town square as I was concluding the song. "The happy is here, it's so very beautiful, the skies are so clear, life's so easy today. My emotions have no mold, even if I am angerful, there's still no place like home when I have it so easy today. So you understand kay? So you understand kay? So you understand kay? Even though I don't like soy hay. I need some time to pay. I need time to..." I stopped my singing after I was interrupted by an orange pony with black spikey mane, red eyes, and wore a black leather jacket, and blue jeans, with a skull as a cutie mark.

"Water!" the pony yelled. He went over to my sister and yelled at her. "How many times do I have to tell you not to hang with strangers? Especially other stallions. YOU TRYING TO CHEAT ON ME OR SOMETHING?!"

"Well... uhh..." Water studdered. I walked over to that pony with an angry look on my face.

"Hey! Who do you think you are, brah?" I asked him. "You can't talk to my sister that way! Angry face!"

"You know this wimp?" he asked water.

"No, I don't know this wimp. But I do know this pony happens to be my brother, Flare." she said to him.

"Smiley face. Nice to meet you, brah!" I said to him and my hoof out.

"Likewise." he said with a smile as he took my hoof and crushed it with his hoof. I just continued smiling, holding in the pain.

"Flare, this is my coltfriend, Fonz Punkskull." she said to me.

"Praise the Fonz!" I said. "1, 2, 3:00, 4:00 rock. 5, 6, 7:00, 8:00 rock. 9, 10, 11, 12, 12:00 rock. We gonna rock around the clock tonight!"

"Heh, I like that song.” Fonz agreed. “Way better than the music of today.”

“Oh NO DOUBT!” I chuckled.

“Well I misjudged you.” Fonz said “You seem to be a cool pony, umm…”

“Flare Gun.” I said.

“Flare Gun! That’s right!” Fonz said. “Also I was being sarcastic, you don’t look that cool.”

“Dang, I fell for it again!” I complained.

"Fonz has been really sweet to me. We met in Baltimare." she said to me.

"So I heard." I said.

"Hey, if you both are done talking about something I could care less about, how about showing us where we're staying?" he asked rudely.

"Right. I'm sure there's a Holiday Inn around here somewhere." I said, but I knew Ponyville didn't have a Holiday Inn.

"Oh actually, we were thinking of staying with you." Water said to me with a smile as she held on to Fonz’s hoof.

"Oh that's good, I know you'd be better off-WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!" I cried. "Uh, Water can I talk to you in private?"

"Sure!" Water said to me.

"No." Fonz said.

"Please, baby? He's my brother, I haven't seen him in ages!" she said to him.

Fonz sighed. "You got two minutes." he said. So Water and went close together so Fonz couldn't hear.

"Water are you crazy?" I asked her.

"Yes I am." she said to me.

"I'm glad you figured it out." I said.

"Crazy for Fonz! Eeeeee!" she screeched.

"I'm not letting that maniac in my trailer!" I said. "He looks like somepony who can mess things up!"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"To be honest, so far, I don't really like him. I mean, I can't really judge yet, but it's off to a poor start." I said.

"Look, Fonz is such a sweet pony, you just need to get to know him a little bit." she said.

"I'll give him a chance, but I-D-K if I really should let him sleep in my house. He might murder me in my sleep, or try to steal something." I said.

"He won't steal anything, I promise." she said.

"Pinkie promise?" I asked.

"We don't have pinkys." she said.

"No, a Pinkie promise is something Pinkie made up. Cross your heart, hope to fly, stick a moose cake in your eye. Or, wait... I think it was sponge cake." I said. "Wait, how can you eat a sponge cake? I tried the sponge in my kitchen and it wasn't really bad, but... I don't get what the big deal is. How can you make a cake outta sponge?"

"Look, Flare. I trust him. He's my coltfriend. I'm sure some day you might be the best of friends! You'll see!" she said. “He’s just shy, he doesn’t want to mess things up.” I looked at Fonz and it looked like he was razoring his hooves on a grindstone.

"I'm activating security in my house just in case." I said.

"Alright time's up!" Fonz said to us even though that was far from two minutes.

"Alright, I'll let you stay, but don't steal anything, don't break anything, don't go in my bedroom, and don't even 'borrow' anything, because trust me I had that problem before." I said.

"Don't worry, I'm assuming your stuff is too useless for me anyway." he said.

"How charming." I said.

“I know!” Water said excitedly. “He’s has charming as a dad trying to teach his son to stay away from fame.”

A cutaway shows a dad with an egg. “Ok son, you see this? This is your brain.” He then throws the egg on the floor and it shatters. “And this is your brain if you turn to fame at a pre-mature age.”

“That’s an egg, dad.” The son reminded him. “Also, didn’t you have fame when you were 8?”

“I was arrested when I was 20.” The dad said. The cutaway ends.

So we all walked over to my trailer. I punched in a security code, put my hoof on a scanner, then my eye, and then my voice-activated password. "Mashed potatoes and gravy." the security system said.

"Mac and cheese." I said.

"Access granted." the security system said, and the door was unlocked.

"Oh, you upgraded your security system, bro! Nice!" Water said impressively.

“Thanks! That voice code was from an old KFC commercial.” I said.

"Security system? What are you a nerd?" Fonz asked me.

"I take that as a complement because nerds are smart. So you're calling me smart." I said to him.

"But dorky." he said.

"But... smart. Winky face." I said and I winked at him. So we all stepped inside and looked around.

"Wow Flare, nice place you got here!" Water said.

"You'll love it! My house is your house, Water." I said.

"What? Not me?" Fonz asked.

"I don't know you that well yet. You gotta earn Flare's trust first, my friend. That's how things work." I said.

"Whatever. Who says I need your trust?" he asked.

"Fonzie, calm down, please?" Water asked.

“Only for you, babe.” Fonz said as he smiled at her.

“See? He’s sweet.” Water said.

“No doubt.” I said as I glared at him.

So I showed them around my trailer. I showed them my Lounge with my video games, computers, snack machines, and such. My kitchen, my bathroom, my living room, and we finally went into the exercise room.

"I better have permission to use these weights!" Fonz demanded.

"Go ahead. Nopony's stopping you. I don't even use them anyway. They came with the trailer and I thought of keeping them because it would make everypony think I actually work out." I said.

"Why would you make everypony think that?" Water asked.

"Isn't it how I got AppleJack and Rainbow Dash's respect?" I asked.

"I doubt it." she said. "Hey Flare, do you still have the fish?"

"Sure do!" I said. "C'mon, follow me!" I took Water's hoof and we both went into my bedroom. My room is where I sleep in, of course, why would I say that? But there's also a closet full of my blue vests and shoes, there's also my personal chest full of my personal stuff that's password protected. Nopony except me can get inside. There's also my fish tank in my room. I have six pet fish. They really mean alot to me, more than anything in this world. Trust me, have you ever had something that you smile every time you look at? When I'm angry, my fish calm me down, as well as Mama Fluttershy. I got a black molly named Darrel, he's the happiest in the tank, and loves to have fun, and he swims to anypony that comes near the tank. I have a white molly named Pearl, who's like Rarity, likes to keep everything perfect. I also have a rainbow fish named Rainbow who's the leader of the tank. He's very smart, and makes sure everything in the tank is ship-shape, or at least tank-shape, which is rectangular. I also have another rainbow fish named Dorthey, who is slightly smaller than Rainbow, and she's trying to follow Rainbow's footsteps (or fin steps). Next is my yoyo loach named Yoyo. Yeah I know what you're thinking, couldn't figure out a more original name? Well Yoyo is one that loves to eat, he can't stop. And finally, there's my albino catfish named Piddles. He sleeps alot, and thinks his reflection is another fish. Now, let me tell you all something, in this story, my fish talk, but nopony can understand them. My fish can only talk to eachother, or other animals, but they can only understand what we say.

"Hey fishies!" Water said to them.

"Hey look, it's Water." Dorthey said.

"WATER!? WATER'S HERE!" Darrel cried. "RAINBOW! RAINBOW! WATER'S HERE! WATER'S HERE!" Darrel was pushing Rainbow with his nose while he was crying with glee.

"Okay, Darrel! Okay! I heard you the first time." Rainbow complained.

"Who's Water again?" Pearl asked.

"Flare's sister. Hopefully she bought us treats!" Yoyo said excitedly

"Oh Yoyo, you and your will to eat." Piddles said to him, but then he saw his reflection. "No, I'm not gonna chase you again. You're not worth my time." he said to his reflection. "Go ahead, mock everything I do, it ain't happin."

"There's my little babies!" Water said to the fish. "There's Darrel, Pearlie, Rainbow, Dorthey, Yoyo, and Piddles!"

"Who's she callin a baby?" Dorthey complained. Water hugged the fish tank.

"I missed them so much!" she said.

"Well I needed some friends with me when I moved to Ponyville, so I took the fish." I said.

"But why though? They're all our fish." she said.

"So? I clean out the fish tank more then mom and dad, I spend alot of time with them. I mean, you had Fonz with you. Me, I'm still single." I said.

"Oh really? I'm so sorry, bro." she said.

"Forever alone." Rainbow said with the 'Forever Alone' meme mask on his face.

"Why don’t you find yourself a mare?” Water asked.

“I’m not yet ready for a relationship. I wanna get my own life on track first.” I said.

“Sure that’s what they all say.” Dorthey teased.

“Oh Dorthey, don’t be like that.” Pearl said. “He’ll find somepony, I guarantee it.”

“Betchya 5 bits he won’t.” Dorthey said.

"Well I'm proud of you Flare. You moved into a new town and you finally got all the friends you need. Congratulations, brother!" Water said to me giving me a hug.

"I have some other friends that you might wanna meet." I said. "There's Engie, Crystal, Blaze, Psyche, Aqua, and many others! You gotta go meet them!"

"Alright! Sounds like a plan!" she said. “Hey, you still have that accordion?”

“I dunno, do sponges wear squarepants?” I asked.

“Yes! Definitely yes!” Water said.

“No, because SpongeBob’s pants are rectangle, not square. Everypony’s got the wrong idea.” I said. “But yes, I do have my accordion still. If you want, I can play you and Fonz a little polka.”

“Sounds wonderful!” Water said.

"Water, I’m really tired right now. Can you please unpack our stuff? This was a VERY long trip.” Fonz asked.

"Of course! Hey right after, can I meet Flare’s friends?” Water asked.

“Meh, why not?” Fonz asked.

“And maybe afterwords, Flare can play us a little something on his accordion.” Water suggested.

“If I’m bored, sure.” Fonz said in an uncaring tone.

“YIPPIE!” Water jumped up in excitement. “See, Flare? Told you Fonz was sweet!”

“Yes, I heard you say that like… three times already.” I said sarcastically. “Wow, I’m starting to get the hang of this sarcasm thing.”

“Coming Fonz!" Water said excitedly as she ran into the guest bedroom to unpack their stuff. I was a little worried. Fonz doesn't seem like a cool stallion for Water to have a relationship with. I mean, he’s obviously using her. Plus he’s rude to me. But… then again… I could be misjudging him. Like Water said, he could be shy. I never seen a pony shy just for being rude. Maybe the ponies in Mareami were just shy…… nah! Anyways, after a little while, Water was finished unpacking. The two of us went out to Porker’s BBQ, a BBQ restaurant across the street from my pizza shop. There is where we met the rest of the Noble Six.

“So nice to meet you water! Flare told us a lot about you!” Blaze said as the seven of us were sitting on a corner table near the front door.

“Well… kinda.” Engie said. “He mainly kept saying ‘my sister’, ‘my sister’, ‘my sister’. He doesn’t mention ya by name a lot.”

“I’m pretty much his only sister.” Water said. “Unless our mom is preggers and we don’t know it yet.”

“So ya like it here in Ponyville so far, Water?” Aqua asked.

“Oh I do! I do!” Water said.

“What is this; a wedding?” Crystal asked.

“You know, Crystal, we kinda sound similar.” Water said.

“Yeah I’ve been wondering about that too.” Crystal said. “I guess a lot of voices are like that. Pretty lazy, if you ask me.”

“Ah know. Every time ah’m on an online game, everyone either sounds like a normal guy, a kid, or a wannabe ‘gangster’.” Engie said.

“Hey Water, how about coltfriend? Fonz Punkskull… what’s he like?” Psyche asked.

“Well, I know you’re thinking that a pony with that name is a pony you cannot trust.” Water said.

“You read my mind.” Psyche nodded.

“But after the two of us met, we really hit it off. He was really interested in me, and he wanted to know a lot more about you, Flare!” Water said.

“He did?” I asked.

“Yeah! He seems to be really interested in you! He really seems to want to be friends with you!” Water said.

“Hmm…” I thought to myself.

"Ah wonder where our food is?" Engie complained.

"It'll be here Engie, just wait." Aqua said.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what ya said 30 minutes ago." Engie reminded him.

"Well, still, be patient, Engie." Aqua said.

"What's the matter, Aqua? Still jealous that I beat you at chess?" Crystal teased.

"Crystal, it was just a game. Why would I be jealous of something stupid like that?" Aqua asked.

"Because you know I'm smarter than you." Crystal said.

"Beating a pony at chess doesn't make a pony smarter, you know." Psyche said reminded her.

"Oh yeah? Ever beaten a pony in chess before, Psyche?" Crystal asked.

"I don't normally play chess." Psyche said.

"Cause you know you'll lose, right?" Crystal teased.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Psyche said.

Just then, Water’s phone begins to ring. “Is that Alicia Keys as yer ringtone? Ah love her!” Engie said.

“I do too!” Water said as she answered her phone. “Sup? Oh hey Fonz! Yeah I’m with Flare still. Yeah he’s got a couple of friends here. One of them looks like a mare though.”

“I am a mare.” Crystal corrected her.

“I wasn’t talking about you.” Water whispered to her. “Yeah, ok. You really want me back that bad, huh? Ok, Fonzie, if you say so. I’ll be there in about 5 minutes. Ok. Love you too. Mwah! Bye!” she hangs up.

“Who kisses from the phone?” Crystal asked in a disgusted tone.

“Sorry, guys, but I have to go back to see Fonz. He’s really getting lonely and he needs me.” Water said. “I swear, that pony won’t be able to live if I wasn’t around for him.”

“Well great meeting you, Water!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, it was really fun! I hope you get to stay here in Ponyville!” Psyche said.

“Thank you, pony that looks like a mare.” Water said as she walks out.

“Was she talking about me or you, Psyche?” Blaze asked.

“I have no clue. We were both called cares in the past.” Psyche said.

“Hey, if Fonz breaks up with her… dibs!” Engie said as he elbows Aqua.

"Flare, are you alright?" Blaze asked. "You seem a little... quiet."

"Oh it's just my sister's coltfriend, Blaze." I said.

"Yer sister's coltfriend is named Blaze?" Engie teased and chuckled. "Hey, he's got the same name as you, Blaze!" Blaze just facehooved himself.

"Water keeps sayin’ he’s a nice and sweet pony.” Aqua said.

“I don’t see it. I find Fonz to be pretty suspicious.” I said.

“Oh you’re just overprotective over your sister, it happens. It happened to Twilight.” Psyche said.

“I never met Fonz though. What does he look like?” Crystal asked.

“He looks just like his name. He’s a punk, and he dresses like the Fonz.” I said.

“Does he lean on a jukebox, buck it, and then turn on a catchy tune from the 50s?” Crystal asked.

“I never seen him do that, but he says he likes the music.” I said. “But still, it seems he abuses Water.”

“Did he hit her?” Blaze asked.

“Not that I seen, thank Wizard of Strength for that.” I said as I played with the straw on my drink. “But he’s asking her to do stuff for him. It’s like he’s in charge of the relationship.”

"That doesn't sound like a good coltfriend to me, Flare." Aqua said.

"Oh, and you know what's it like to have a coltfriend, Aqua? Do you have one?" Crystal joked and laughed.

"No, but I suppose ya'd know." Aqua said.

"My Thunder-Wunder is perfect the way he is." Crystal said.

"I'm serious, brahs. Fonz looks like bad business." I said.

"Ya wanna try getting Water to break up with him?" Aqua asked.

"I don't think that would be such a good idea, Aqua. It wouldn't end well." Psyche said.

"Flare, my bro. What you need, is to keep a close eye on Fonz, but without him noticing you." Blaze said.

"You mean like... spying?" I asked.

"SPAI?!" Engineer yelled.

"Don't worry, Engie. There's no spy here." Psyche said.

"How would y'all know, Psyche? Are YOU a spy?" Engie asked.

"Now you're just talking nonsense, dude." Psyche said.

"Yeah, Flare. Spying." Blaze said.

"But spying is wrong, brah." I said.

"I know. But your sister might be getting pushed around too much, and it's time to do what brothers to do their sisters. Protect them." Blaze said.

"I thought they always argue and fight?" I asked.

"She's a member of your family, and you need to do what's right, Flare!" Blaze said.

"But, Blaze? I dunno, man." I said.

"Don't force him, Blaze." Psyche said.

"But Psyche, don't you see? His sister might be getting abused by him. I mean, just think about it." Blaze said.

I knew what Blaze was saying, but I wasn't too sure if I could do it. You think it's right to be spying on your sister's special somepony? It's a pretty big decision to make. I really had to think this over, but over a meal. I was starving! So our meals arrived and we ate them. Blaze kept telling me to think about it, so I did. When I got home Water and Fonz were in the guest bedroom. Fonz had the TV on, but Water was trying to sleep. I listened to their chatter from the other side of the door.

"Fonzie, can ya please turn off the TV?" Water asked.

"Hang on, babe, I wanna see who the nominees are.” Fonz said.

“Can you watch it in the lounge?” Water asked.

“I would but… fffft… my ankle is kinda hurting me.” Fonz said.

"You want me to shut off the TV? You have the remote." Water said.

"Are you being smart with me?” Fonz asked angrily.

"No, I'm just saying... when I have the TV on you order me to turn it off, but now you're not doing me this little favor. You can watch in the Lounge." Water suggested.

"I'm in charge here! Stop being a whinny little foal, and behave for once!" Fonz ordered.

"I always behave though." Water said.

"I know you do, that’s why you’re my cutie-pie.” Fonz said as he squeezed her nose.

"I’m sleeping in the other room then.” Water said.

“Ok, fine by me.” Fonz said in an uncaring tone.

I didn't want them to know I was there so I snuck into my bedroom. Water angrily marched out of the room with a blanket, and a pillow, and went into the Lounge.

"Well, so much for playing video games tonight." I said. Water didn't seem to be too happy with Fonz, so I went to go talk to her. I knocked on the door first.

Knock, knock, knock; “Water?” Knock, knock, knock; “Water?” Knock, knock, knock; “Water?”

“Who’s there?” Water asked.

"Flare." I answered.

"Flare who?" she asked.

"Flare Gun." I said.

Water was silenced for a second. "That wasn't really much of a knock-knock joke, bro." she said.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

"I dunno, CAN you?" she asked.

"Kay, now you're using my own jokes on me. I heard it all before, sis." I said.

"Come in, bro." she said. So I opened the door and went inside. She was putting on her eye-liner.

"Why are you putting on make-up? Aren't you going to sleep?" I asked.

"They don't call it beauty sleep for nothing, bro." she said.

"Yeah, lawl, very funny.” I said sarcastically.

"What do you need, Flarey?" Water asked.

"I just... how do you feel about going out with Fonz? You don't seem to be very happy with him." I said.

"Oh, so you heard the fight? Don't worry, bro. We go through that all the time. He always apologizes in the morning." she said.

"Yeah, about that. I don't think it's such a good idea for you to go out with him anymore." I said.

"Why would you say that, Flarey? Aren't you proud of me having a coltfriend?" she asked.

"I am, very much! It's just... it looks like he's abusing you though." I said.

"Don't worry, Flarey. He's not abusing me. He just has a temper. Don't worry, he loves me very much!" she said.

"But Water? He bosses you around and everything, and I don't like him." I said.

"You don't have to like him, Flarey, but I'm still going out with him, and there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry, brother." she said.

"But sis?" I said.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Now if you please, I need to get some beauty sleep." she said.

"But..." I said.

"Good night, Flare." she said as she gives me a kiss on the cheek, and lays down. I just looked at her, then after a few seconds I turn off the light and leave the room and closed the door behind her. Then I started talking to myself. Yeah, I sometimes do that from time to time, but all ponies have their silly moments sometimes, even Twilight, and she's one of the smartest in Ponyville. I even seen Mayor Mare spaz out one time, but that's not the point. I went into my room and saw my fish and talked to them. Yes, I did talk to myself at first, but then I talked to the fish when I got to my room.

"I don't understand. I really don't understand. I mean, Water seems very happy with him, and yet, I feel that on the inside, she's sad. It's as if she's imprisoned by this Fonz Punkskull. I mean, fishies, have you ever feel like you're being abused?"

"Yes, all the time." Piddles said.

"By who?" Yoyo asked.

"That fish that looks like me and mimics everything I do. It sickens me, Yoyo." Piddles said.

"How would you know if that's not your reflection, Piddles?" Pearl asked.

"I doubt it." Piddles said.

"Psyche did have a point in saying with that name he has, he can't be trusted." I said. "But names aren't everything you know. But Blaze might be right. Maybe I should keep a close eye on Fonz. But... I have the shop to look after. The Mane Six nor Spike aren’t in town right now, and since tomorrow's Saturday, it would be Nashorse Nationwide Race, and the Wonderbolts preform at the Nashorse races all the time, so Blaze won't be available. But I also think they might suspect my friends. Hmm..."

So to calm my nerves before I go to sleep, I decided to take out my accordion and play a little polka to help relieve my stress. I began to sing happily, “Oooooooooh, there once was a pony named Fonz Punkskull, he doesn’t have any pity at all; he’s a maniac, a jerk, and he really looks punky – he looks like someone that’ll spend a lot of money……. On blackjack and models. He goes out with my sister and she finds him so sweet, he even pays for dinner when they go out to eeeeeeeeeat…… but if he lose his temper than you will have to pay, so be careful when you miss when Fonz Punkskull today- HEY!” I then played one of the parts of Weird Al’s WAY Moby Polka on my accordion, my favorite WAY Moby Polka part, which is the part Weird Al uses a lot in his polkas, which is the instrumental part between ‘Ghetto Supastar’ and ‘Rock Your Body’ on Polka Power, or the instrumental between ‘Sledgehammer’ and ‘Sussudio’ in Polka Party, yeah that part. Dun dun dun, dun dundun dun, dun dun dun, dun dundun dun!

As I was playing on my accordion Fonz was yelling from the bedroom. “WILL YOU SHUT THAT GARBAGE OFF!? I’m trying to watch TV in here! Although you are right about the blackjack and models part!”

“Why would he ask me to stop polkaing? Now I REALLY find him suspicious.” I said.

So I thought it over, and I knew what I had to do. The next day came, and what Blaze suggested caught my mind, I had to have somepony keep an eye on Fonz and Water. My friends were all unavailable. The Mane Six and Spike were out of town to witness the return of the Crystal Empire, and my friends in my Noble Six clan were also unavailable at this time, so I had no other choice. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were the only ones who could help me. So I called them over to my shop, and told them what they needed to do.

"So, let me get this straight. You want us to spy on a suspicious looking pony that's the special somepony of your sister?" Scootaloo asked.

"Affermative." I said.

"Don't ya think that's a bit... sneaky?" Apple Bloom asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It doesn't really feel right spying on a pony we don't know." Apple Bloom answered.

"But you might earn your plot tattoos then! Think of it like that." I said.

"Getting a cutie mark for spying?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Exactly!" I answered.

The CMCs all looked at eachother in a weird way, then they all smiled at me. "Alright! We'll do it!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Praise the Wizards!" I cried out. I gave them a picture of Fonz and Water, so they would know what they look like.

"Wow, yer sister looks pretty, Flare!" Apple Bloom said.

"This Fonz guy looks pretty creppy." Scootaloo said. "I like it."

"And here are some walkie talkies, so you can communicate with me." I said, giving them walkie talkies.

"Oh, so it's like we're gonna be secret agents right?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Being a secret agent would be so awesome! Can we have some secret agent suits?" Scootaloo asked. They all smiled at me and gave out a squee.

"Look, I'd love to give you special suits, but I don't have any." I said.

"Buy them then." Sweetie Belle suggested.

"I don't have time, I'm wasting time as it is talking to you." I said.

“Nice way of puttin’ things.” Apple Bloom said sarcastically.

"Can we at least have cool secret agent music?" Scootaloo asked.

"Here, I have the Secret Agent Pony song on my Ipod. Just use this." I said, giving my Ipod to them.

"Ah, cool!" Scootaloo said excitedly.

"Don't lose it, alright? And don't break it either." I instructed them.

"We promise." the CMCs said at the same time.

"Let's hope we don't accidently drop the Ipod into the sewer by accident though." Apple Bloom said.

"Don't jinx it, Bloomie." I said. "Move out agents!"

"Aye, aye, Captain Flare!" The CMCs said at the same time. "Cutie Mark Crusaders, away!" They all ran out of the shop.

"What are they? Secret agents, pirates, or super heroes?" I asked myself. "Because with the secret agent idea, and them saying 'Aye aye, Captain Flare', and let's not forget the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders away' part. Maybe they're super pirate agents. No, pirate agent heroes! Yeah, that sounds leet!" I talk nonsense, don't I? Anyways, I continued working while the CMCs were spying on my sister and Fonz. Scootaloo climbs a pipe on a house and goes to the roof, and she spots Water and Fonz walking around town.

"Targets sighted." Scootaloo said on the walkie talkie.

"Copy that." Sweetie Belle said on her's while she was hiding behind the bushes. "Apple Bloom, where are you?"

Apple Bloom was behind the bushes with her. "I'm behind the bushes on Trotting Drive." she said on her walkie talkie.

"Hey, this is my hiding spot!" Sweetie Belle said to her on the walkie talkie, even though she was right next to her.

"No, I was here first." Apple Bloom said on the walkie talkie.

"No you weren't. I was!" Sweetie Belle said on her walkie talkie.

"If you two are right next to eachother, why are you talking on the walkie talkies then?" Scootaloo asked.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie just looked at eachother and chuckled. "Wait, shhh." Sweetie Belle shushed while Water and Fonz were walking past them.

"Target’s seen green, no abuse yet." Apple Bloom said.

"Or more like targets seem blue and orange." Sweetie Belle said. Apple Bloom just looked at her. "It's true. Look at them!"

Water looked at a stand full of bananas, and she smiled and tried to take one, but then Fonz slapped her hoof away. "AH! The target just took the first shot! I repeat, target just took the first shot!" Sweetie Belle said on the walkie talkie.

"Roger that. On my way to get a closer look." Scootaloo said.

"Who's roger?" Apple Bloom asked. Scootaloo glided off the roof and rolled behind a trash can near the stall.

"Hey! I think I just flew!" Scootaloo said excitedly on the walkie talkie, excitedly.

"That wasn't flying. That was gliding. That's different. You're still a dodo, Scootaloo." Sweetie Belle corrected her and laughed. Scootaloo groaned. Water and Fonz continued walking. Fonz went to get a lime from a stall, and Water slapped the lime out of his hoof, just to be funny. But then Fonz paid for the lime, and just pushed the lime into her mouth, which hurt her a bit. Lime spit lime out of her mouth and coughed.

"Yeah, that's what you get for being a smart-plot!" Fonz said rudely to her.

"I was joking, for Luna's sake!" Water yelled.

"I know, and what I did was a joke too.” Fonz said.

“Oh you!” Water chuckled.

"Wow. This pony is such a jerk!" Scootaloo said. “If you thought Flare was bad in the past, compare that to this dude.”

"Why is Water going out with him anyway?" Sweetie asked.

"We need more info." Apple Bloom said.

"Right, let's go." Scootaloo said. Water and Fonz were walking, and the CMCs kept on spying.

"I'm tired, we should sit down." Fonz said.

"You go ahead, I wanna see my brother." Water said.

“But I don’t wanna be alone. Please, Water?” Fonz begged.

"Fine, fine, jeez! Can’t say no to this face." Water said as she pinched his cheek and sat next to him.

"Pretty bossy, the target is. Wouldn't ya'll agree, Sweetie Belle?" Apple Bloom asked.

"He sure is. He's kinda like Gilda a bit." Sweetie Belle said. “Although, Gilda wasn’t that bad when somepony found her weakness.”

A cutaway shows Fluttershy assisting with a bird in building her nest. “There you go, Hummingway! Now you’ll be able to lay your eggs in complete comfort!”

“HEY, DORK! How about my nest? I’m freezing over here!” Gilda demanded.

“You’re going to have to wait your turn, Gilda. Hairy the bear needs some honey he can’t do it himself.” Fluttershy said as she pointed to Hairy, whom was covered in mud and on a blue balloon, trying to get honey from bee hive. Hairy was singing ‘I’m Just A Little Black Rain Cloud’ while he was attempting.

“I wasn’t asking you, I’m telling you, BUILD MY NEST!” Gilda demanded. “If you don’t build my nest right now, I’m going to-“ just then, Fluttershy takes out a laser pointer and aims it towards the ground. Gilda stops yelling right after she activates it, and then she starts to chase it. “Wha, it… it-it’s that thing again. Fluttershy, it’s that thing again! Where does it keep going? Why is it teasing me?” Fluttershy chuckles as she randomly waves the laser pointer all over the place. “Get back here! I wanna catch you and… I dunno, eat you? Play with you? I haven’t decided yet, but… STAY STILL!” The cutaway ends.

"Wouldn't be surprised if Gilda and Fonz were a couple." Scootaloo said.

"Be neither." Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle said at the same time.

"Oh, jinx!" Sweetie Belle said and they both giggled.

"Apple Bloom, Sweetie! Stay focused." Scootaloo instructed them.

"Right." Apple Bloom said.

"So Fonz, how you liking Ponyville so far?" Water asked.

"It's alright, I guess." Fonz said.

"I'm hungry for lunch, how about Flare's?" Water asked.

"How about no?" Fonz answered.

"C'mon, please! I wanna try some of Flare's delicious pizza. The princesses say it's the best pizza in Equestria. It wouldn't hurt." Water said.

Fonz sighed. "Alright, fine. Don’t knock it till ya tried it, right?”

"Of course, let’s get going!” Water said excitedly as they held each other hoof to hoof and began walking over to my shop.

"Flare? It seems the 'lovely couple' is heading towards your position." Scootaloo said on the walkie talkie.

"Where? The bathroom? Over?" I asked through the walkie talkie.

"No. I mean your shop." Scootaloo answered.

"There's a bathroom in my shop though. Over." I said.

"I mean, they're on their way to eat." Scootaloo said. I didn't say anything though. "Flare?"

"Scoots, please say 'over' when you end a conversation." I instructed her.

Scootaloo groaned. "They're on their way to your shop to eat... over." Scootaloo said.

"Roger that, Scoots, over!" I said.

So Water and Fonz were walking, but they completely past my shop. "Fonzie? Where we going? We just missed Flare's shop." Water said.

"Here, I wanna show you how sorry I am for putting you down, so I'll take you over to Taco Shack, my treat, babe." Fonz said.

"But... I wanna see Flare." Water said.

"C'mon Water, please?" Fonz asked nicely.

"Huh? When did he start being so kind?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Alright, hun. For you!" Water said giving him a nuzzle.

"Anything for you, babe!" Fonz said, while they both started walking towards Taco Shack.

"Taco Shack?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Yeah, they serve tacos." Sweetie Belle said.

"I know that." Apple Bloom said with a sarcastic tone. "I'm talking about, why are they heading there instead of Flare's?"

"Flare, change of plans." Scootaloo said on the walkie talkie. "It seems the perfect coltfriend decided to be so kind to her, and treat her to Taco Shack." I didn't say anything. "Flare?"

"I'm sorry, Scoots. I can't understand what you're saying, there's a pacific word you need to say." I said through the walkie talkie. If you’re new to this story, I can’t say pacific correctly. It’s… umm… ok, it’s S-P-E-C-I-F-I-C. I really cannot say that word. Got it? Alright good.

Scootaloo sighed. "Fonz is taking Water is Taco Shack instead, and he's being kind to her all the sudden, over." she said with an annoyed look.

Fonz used his unicorn magic to take a remote control out of his pocket a little bit, and pressed a button on it without Water noticing.

"Wait, Flare. I think I saw Fonz just push a button on some sort of remote control." Scootaloo said to me, but of course I didn't say anything, because she didn't say over, but I didn't need to remind her, because eventually she said, "Over."

"Really? That doesn't sound good. over." I said.

"No kidding, over." Scootaloo said. "So what are you orders?" I didn't say anything, because she didn't say over again. "Oh c'mon, I said over!"

"But you didn't say over at the end of the sentence, over." I said.

Scootaloo sighed. "C'mon, we should catch up to them, see what's going on." Sweetie Belle said. And so the CMCs continued to follow Water and Fonz.
Meanwhile, back at the shop, I just made a pizza for my friend Keith.

"Here ya go, Keith! You have a great day now." I said.

"You too." he said.

“Hey don’t forget to poke me, brah. We’re nearly at a thousand pokes.” I said.

“Ok.” He said as he took the pizza box and walked towards the door and opened it, but then suddenly, four robots bursted inside the shop.

"Oh, thank you." one of the robots said to Keith whom was holding the door for them.

“Ok.” Keith said in an uncaring tone.

"Flare Gun? You're coming with us." one of the robots said to me.

Oh wait, is it that time already? Sorry, readers. I've reached my limit for now. I have to at least try to make this chapter even with Part 2, so I guess we'll continue there.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Don't Go Chasing Water Gun - Part 2

View Online

If you were too lazy to read Part 1, you sure missed out alot. For example: my sister Water Gun recently came to visit town with his coltfriend Fonz Punkskull. From my point of view, Water doesn't seem to think so. So, my friend Blaze Goldheart suggested that I should do a little spying. But since I have to watch over my shop, I needed somepony's help. My friends were all unavailable. The Mane Six and Spike were out of town to witness the return of the Crystal Empire, and my friends in my Noble Six clan were also unavailable at this time, so I had no other choice. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were the only ones who could help me. So I called them over to my shop, and told them what they needed to do. They were spying on him and Water, and he seemed pretty abusive at times, but at other times Fonz was very sweet to her. It still seemed suspicious. Just then, while Water and Fonz were on their date, a pack of robots stormed inside my shop, and this is where we are right now. Let us continue!

"Flare Gun? You're coming with us." one of the robots said to me.

"I can't right now, I'm working." I said. Then I took out a notepad and checked it. "But I think I might be available on my next break, which is in 40 minutes. Can ya wait till then?"

"No." the second robot said.

"Well maybe you can order yourselves a pizza while you wait. How 'bout that?" I asked.

"How about you come with us instead?" the robot asked.

"You're really missing out, brah! The pizza - awesome!" I said as I whispered the word ‘awesome’.

"Look, we're robots, we can't eat. We just do what our masters tell us to." the robot said.

"Why? This is your chance to be free!" I said.

"But we don't want to be free. We want you to come with us." the robot said.

"Where we going?" I asked.

"To a place." the robot said.

"Can ya give me a little more detail?" I asked.

“A place down the road.” The robot said.

“Keep going.” I said.

“Why am I arguing with you? COME ON!” the robot demanded.

"And what if I don't?" I asked.

"Then we'll make you!" the robot said as he aimed his blaster at me.

"Nice blaster. Where did you get it, Toys 'R' Us?" I joked, and laughed.

"Forget it, let's just shoot him." The other robot said. They all aimed their blasters at me and starting shooting plasma rays at me. I dodged out of the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOY-4Zc6JtQ

"Whoa! What's going on?" Bon Bon cried.

"Everypony, LEAVE!" I yelled.

"No, I'm enjoying this." Lyra said as she was eating some popcorn.

"C'mon, Lyra!" Bon Bon said taking Lyra's hoof. Everypony evacuates the stop, except for my friend Keith.

“KEEEEEEEEEITH! Leave!” I demanded.

“Flaaaaaaaaare! No.” Keith said.

The robots continued shooting me, but I wasn't defenseless, I know magic since I'm a unicorn after all. My plot-tattoo is a computer mouse, so my special talents have anything to do with the computer. There are cooking games on the computer, so that's why I'm such a good cook. So as the robots were shooting their blasters at me, I fired back using my laser blast spell, which is like a blaster. I hid behind a stove and fired at them, and I ducked a few times. The robots bursted into the kitchen, and I continued firing, but I was surrounded. The only spells I knew could only effect one pony, so I knew it was either one or none of them. “ARMOR LOCK!” I yelled as I crouched down and I was covered in plasma. “Ha haaaa! You can touch me now! With armor lock, I’m invincible! Mwah ha ha ha! Ooo aaa aa aaa! HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!” just then my armor lock wears off. “Oh… I laughed too long.”

For a second there I thought I was screwed, but there was a reason why Keith didn’t leave. He saves me by using his lightning spell on the robots, disabling them. “Oh.” He said.

“Oh Addie, you are a sight for soar eyes. I’m serious, my eyes hurt right now. Armor lock hurts my eyes if I leave them opened when I perform that spell.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“Really? You have nothing better to say other than ‘oh’ or ‘ok’?” I asked.

“Not really.” Keith said.

“Fine, be that way. I know you weren’t much of a talker.” I said as the two of us walked out of the kitchen, only to find four more robots waiting for us. “WAH BOOSKY!”

“Target sighted.” One of the robots said as they start firing their blasters at us.

“WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!” I yelled as I dodged out of the way, but Keith was hit.

“Oh…” he said before he passed out.

“KEITH!” I cried out. “Did you just kill him?! DID YOU?!” I yelled angrily at the robots as my horn began to glow, but it glowed brighter than usual.

“Not to worry, our weapons are only allowed stun. Come along quietly so we don’t have to carry you out.” The robot said.

“Kay kay, alright. I get what you’re saying. Come along quietly. I’ll be sure to do so right after- BAZINGA!” I yelled as injected my hornsaber into one of the robot’s chests and it short-circuits.

“Open fire!” one of the robots instructed the other robots as they continued firing at me. I fired at them with my laser blast spell until I fell back into the kitchen and hid behind the counter.

“Oh nice… leave me here.” Keith complained as he continued to lay there on the floor.

“Quit being lazy then!” I yelled. “Oh look who I’m talking to!”

“Yeah.” Keith said.

The robots were gaining on me. They burst into the kitchen and begin firing. I continue to blast them with my laser blast, hoping I’ll be able to take them down. This is all self-defense though. I only use my magic for self-defense or if I wanna look cool. Most of the time these days, it’s to look cool, but for now the latter. Wait… not the latter. What’s the opposite of latter? I dunno, the other thing. So I continued firing until I backed off to the back door and went outside.

"GET HIM!" a robot yelled. The robots were chasing me as I ran around back to the front of the shop and went inside. A couple of the robots stayed behind. I fired at the robots and I shot one of them and it deactivated. None of my spells are deadly, but my laser blast also has an EMP burst if you didn't know that. Of course you didn’t, I never mentioned it in Book 1. It completely deactivates machinery, but it only shocks a pony.

"Hey, don't fall behind." I joked after I shot that robot in the back. The deactivated robot used it’s emergency alarm to call the other robots that were outside.

"He's back inside! SURROUND HIM!" The robot yelled. The other robots started running towards the front door so they can surround me, but like my trailer, my shop also has a security system. Once the rest of the robots went inside, I pushed a button and an alarm went off. All the doors and windows sealed up and all the lights in the room went red.

"There's no use fighting. If you really want me, here I am, but none of us can escape." I said. Although that's not true; there's a mainframe in my office, if I push the code, the lockdown will deactivate, but they don't know that, unless they can hear my narration. I must thank Swinebutt’s robots for helping me build this place. No these robots that are in my shop are not Swinebutt’s robots. They’re way too intense to be. I have no idea where they came from. The robots didn't stop though, they started firing at me again, but I just dodged, and I started using my magic to throw chairs at them. Yeah, I can do better, but I didn't wanna waste my awesome powers for just some stupid robots.

"This is your last chance! SURRENDER!" one of the robots said.

"And this is your last chance to just stop fighting, so we can just get along." I said.

"But we're programmed to hate you." a robot said.

"And I'm programmed to not be bossed around. I'm my own boss. BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS!" I said.

"Then you will meet your destiny!" the robot said.

"My destiny, huh? Is she pretty?" I asked.

"What?" a robot asked in confusion. "Nevermind." The robots started shooting at me again, but I activated my Armor Lock spell so they couldn't hurt me.

"Oops! Did you know I know the Armor Lock spell?" I asked.

"Yeah you just showed us.” The robot said.

"Really? I forgot all about it.” I said.

“You’re exactly how are boss described you. I mean not like robot dating sites.” The robot said.

A cutaway shows that same robot meeting with his new date for the first time. He looks at a picture of the date who was an Easy-Bake Oven and then the robot said, “You look nothing like your photo.” It turns out the robot is dating a gas stove from New Hersey, the garbage town near Manehatten. The cutaway ends.

So as I continued fighting the robots, I tripped over one of the deactivated robots and on it’s left shoulder I find a familiar logo on it. It was a black circle with a red ‘S’. “That logo… I seen it before… it’s… Shade from a Teen Titans fanfic!” In all seriousness, that particular logo I kept seeing in my past. It marks the sign of the mysterious doctor that’s been trying to ruin my life in Ponyville. I still have yet to know who this doctor is. I hope to find out soon. After all the constant firing the robots have been doing, their blaster overheat.

"Wait, hold on our blasters over heated. Gotta wait for them to cool off." a robot said.

"Forget about cool." I said. "Because feel dat Mareami heat!" I jumped out and I activated my hornsaber spell again and whacked two of the robots with it and they eventually they deactivated, even though my hornsaber spell wasn't really much more than a baseball bat with a pointy end. The remaining robot picked me up and threw me across the shop, and I landed on the picture of Princess Luna I had on the wall.

"LUNA!" I yelled. "I… uh… wha- wha… WHAT?! Angry face!" I angrily marched towards the robot and it started getting a little nervous. "Let me tell you something, brah! Nopony, and I mean NOPONY MESSES WITH PRINCESS LUNA! She's the best princess ever, and you're gonna pay!"

"Ooooooh, poo." the robot said.

Then the robot looked down after we heard something liquid get on the floor. You may think the robot oiled itself, but actually it was just Keith at the soda machine; some soda was pouring out non-stop.

"Uh, Flare? I think your soda machine is broken." Keith said. That distracted me for a sec, but then I continued angrily walking towards the robot, and the robot tried walking backwards, but it had nowhere to run. I started to laugh crazy and evilly as I walked over towards the robot doing… unexplainable things to it. So unexplainable that I don’t even know what I did! Let’s just say the robot might need therapy by the time I’m done with it.

Meanwhile at Taco Shack, Water and Fonz were just about to take their order. Fonz wanted them both to have a Homewrecker, which was a type of burrito, but Water wanted Taco Salad, but then Fonz ordered her to order what he's having, so she did.

"Wow, Water has bad coltfriend." Apple Bloom said. The CMCs were on top of eachother wearing a long trench coat as they continued spying on Fonz and Water. Apple Bloom was on top with a mustache and hat, Sweetie Belle was in the middle and had her hooves out from the sleeves, and Scootaloo was on the bottom.

"Tell me something I don't know." Sweetie Belle said, opening a part of the trench coat so she can see what's going on outside.

"Why do I have to be on the bottom?" Scootaloo complained, opening the bottom part of the trench coat, sticking her head out. "I look more of a stallion than both of you combined."

"We did rock, paper, scissors, and ah won." Apple Bloom said.

"We don't even have any fingers. How can we do rock, paper, scissors?" Scootaloo asked.

"We draw them, remember?" Sweetie Belle reminded her.

"Oh yeah." Scootaloo said.

"Oh, somepony's coming!" Sweetie Belle whispered as her and Scootaloo closed the trench coat to hide their faces.

"Hola, amigo! Welcome to Taco Shack! How may I help you?" the mexican pony waiter asked the disguised CMCs.

"Heh, he sounds like Speedy Gonzalez." Sweetie Belle whispered.

"Shhhh!" Scootaloo shushed at Sweetie.

Apple Bloom clears her throat, and speaks to the pony in a manlier voice. "Hola. Ah will just take the nachos, please?" she asks.

"Coming right up!" the waiter said, then he walks away.

"Aww, but I wanted to try their refried bean dip." Sweetie Belle whined.

"Quiet. We're here to spy on Water and Fonz." Apple Bloom said.

"So Fonz, how you liking Ponyville?" Water asked him.

"Didn't you just ask me that?" Fonz asked her.

"Oh, right. I forgot. Sorry." Water said.

"Careful with the stupid questions, Water. You don’t need to stare at the TV all night again.” Fonz said.

"Alright, Fonzie!" Water said with a smile. "You know something? I haven't heard from Flare all day."

"He must be busy." Fonz said.

"Yeah, but he said he'd call me." Water said.

"Maybe he doesn't care about you anymore." Fonz said.

"Oh Fonzie, you're so silly!" Water said and giggled. "Flare would never."

"How would you know that? How many times did Flare call you while he was living in Ponyville?" Fonz asked.

"Well... a few. Probably 4 or 6." Water said.

"Water, my love. Flare has alot of friends here now. He doesn't have time for his family anymore; he's moved on, babe." Fonz said with his hoof on her shoulder. "Have you seen all the friends he had?"

"Well not all of them." Water said.

"He's had tons of fun adventures here, so I heard. He's spending lots of time with his new friends, and he has the shop, he doesn't seem to have time for you anymore." Fonz said. Water frowned and looked down. "But me, I'll always be there to protect you, and be there for you, in any way's possible." Fonz hugged her and gave her a kiss. "Who's my baby girl?"

"I am." Water said sadly.

"C'mon you can do better than that. Who's my baby girl?" Fonz asked.

"I am." Water said in a happier tone.

"Who's my baby girl?" Fonz asked her again a little louder.

"I AM, FONZIE! I AM!" Water cried and gave him a big hug.

“Hey careful, babe, you’re getting us unwanted attention.” Fonz said. Just then, a bunch of the waiters come together, singing, playing maracas, putting sombreros on Water’s and Fonz’s heads and gave them a free spicy dessert for two.

“Arriba, amigos! Da love birds get a free spicy dessert! Happy loved ones everypony!” the waiter said.

“ARRIBA!” the other waiters yelled out in excitement.

“We didn’t even have our dinners yet.” Fonz said.

“Dis is dinner dessert! Enjoy your meal senor and senora…..” the waiter paused, hoping they’d get their last names.

“Punkskull. Senor and senora Punkskull!” Fonz said.

“Wait… does that mean what I think it means?!” Water asked shockingly.

“It sure does, baby. Sure does.” Fonz said to Water.

“Yay! We’re going to Disney World!” Water cried out in excitement.

“Umm… alright, that’s one way of saying it.” Fonz nodded.

"Alright, let's go." Apple Bloom said, but before they could get up, the waiter came back with the check.

"Excuse me, sir? I believe you have a bill to pay first." the waiter said.

"Alright, give us a second, sir." Apple Bloom said to him. The waiter walked off. "You girls got any change?" she asked the other crusaders inside the trenchcoat.

"How much is it?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Apple Bloom checks the check (heh); "Uhh... 10 bits."

"10 bits? For nachos? What a rip-off!" Sweetie Belle complained.

"Oh Celestia, I think I left my pocket book at home." Scootaloo said.

"All I have is 2 bits." Sweetie Belle said. "How much do you have?"

"Ah spent all mah bits on this disguise." Apple Bloom said.

"What are we gonna do?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I think we should just make a break for it." Scootaloo said.

"But that's stealin." Apple Bloom said.

"How are we gonna explain this to the waiter?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Uhh, Flare? Flare do you read?" Scootaloo asked me through the walkie talkie.

"Do I read what, Scoots, over?" I asked.

"DO YOU READ, OVER?!" Scootaloo yelled.

"Nah, I don't like reading, over" I said.

"Look, we bought some nachos at Taco Shack and we don't have enough bits, can you come over?" Scootaloo asked.

"Didn't copy that, over." I said.

"That's it, my sentence is over." Scootaloo said.

"Your sentence is what, over?" I asked.

"My sentence is- wait, I have to say over, even though my sentence ends with the word 'over'?" Scootaloo asked.

"Before your sentence is what, Scoots?" I asked.

"FORGET IT!" Scootaloo cried. "We're quitting! You're on your own!"

"You're on your what-" I asked, but she turned off her walkie talkie before I could finish the sentence.

“Well it wouldn’t hurt washing dishes.” Sweetie Belle suggested. “I think this might be better than my last job with a crew of penguins. I looked very nerdy, but at least I had ice cream every Thursday, but I did have a nosy twin brother, and I was computer animated, and my eyes looked like little dots.”

“Ok, we get it, you were on 3-2-1 Penguins; no need to brag about it.” Scoots complained.

“Actually, I was talking about the Penguins of Madagascar, but yeah that too.” Sweetie Belle said.

Meanwhile, Water and Fonz finished up and were walking towards my shop; they then went inside. "Flarey, we're here!" Water said, but then she noticed the shop was a mess, and there are three destroyed robots on the ground, and one robot cuddled itself in a ball in the corner, crying and mumbled to himself, "I'll never mess with Luna. I'll never mess with Luna. I'll never mess with Luna."

"Flarey, what happened here?" Water asked.

"Oh, nothing really. Just cleaning up a mess.” I said.

“Why are there robots around?” Water asked.

“Water, one thing at a time, please! I can only think about so much at once.” I reminded her.

“At least you’re thinking at all.” Water teased.

“HA!” Fonz laughed.

So yeah, pretty much EIGHT maniacal robots just bursted into my shop and started threatening me and shooting at me!" I yelled.

"Seriously?" Water asked.

"Like seriously actually. Serious face." I said. “You see my face? Does it look serious right now?”

“Actually it looks pretty angry, but then again, when you make a serious face, it kinda looks like your mouth looks like one from a tiki head, either that or Photo Booth’d” Water said.

“Yeah thanks for that, Water.” I said sarcastically.

“Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, Flare, like the main reason why Princess Celestia doesn’t like Discord.” Water said.

A cutaway shows a flashback to the Return of Harmony episode. “I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord before he thrusts all of Equestria into eternal chaos.” Celestia instructed the Mane Six.

“But why do you have such a grudge against him?” Twilight asked.

“I used to be a guy.” Celestia said.

“Sorry I asked.” Twilight said awkwardly. The cutaway ends.

"Are you okay, Flare?" Water asked. “You seem a bit on edge.”

"Don't worry, I'm kay." I said.

"Sheesh, Flare. You really know how to take care of yourself it seems." Fonz said.

"I know, but I don't wish to do violence. These robots attacked me first. I was only trying to protect myself. Now my shop is a mess!" I said. “Wait a minute.”

"What's wrong with that robot?" Water asked, pointing to the crying robot.

"Let's just say, it won't be messing with anypony anytime soon." I said mischievously

Fonz went over to the destroyed robots and looked at them with an angry look on his face. "Looks like Flare is too strong, I might have to deal with him myself." Fonz said to himself.

"What was that, brah?" I asked.

"Oh, it's just... I'm really sorry of what happened here, buddy." Fonz said.

"No problemo, brah." I said. "I could get this mess cleaned up in no time."

"Want me to help?" Water asked.

"Actually Water, we have to get going." Fonz said, grabbing her hoof.

"No, it's cool, Fonzie. I really wanna spend some time with my brother." Water said.

"Flare has things under control, right bro?" Fonz asked me with a smile.

"Actually, if Water wants to help she can, it's up to her." I said.

"I want to help." Water said.

"No, we're going home." Fonz ordered.

"No, I wanna stay." Water argued with him.

"Don't talk back to me!" Fonz yelled at her.

"Fonz, relax bro." I said.

"Fonzie, what's your problem?" Water asked.

"You not doing what you're told! NOW LET'S GO!" Fonz ordered.

"You mad bro?" I asked.

"Yeah, you mad?" Water asked him.

"SHUT UP!" Fonz yelled at her as he lifted his hoof.

“DON’T YOU DARE!” I yelled at him as my horn began to glow.

“I’m…. I’m sorry, baby. I kinda lost my temper there.” Fonz said.

“It’s ok, Fonzie.” Water said.

“It is NOT ok!” I said. “Also… Fonz… how did you know these robots attacked me?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Look around.” Fonz pointed.

I observed my shop and it appears he would have a point there. “Ok you got a point there, brah, but try to control your temper. If you so happen to assault my sister, I’m kicking you out of my trailer and file a restraining order. Capiche?”

“Yeah, yeah, capiche. C’mon Water, let’s go.” Fonz instructed her as he walked out.

"I’m sorry, Flarey. I promise I’ll spend time with you when I can.” Water said.

“Water, just to let you know, if he gives you anymore trouble, I promise, I’ll take care of him for you. I’ll always be there for you, sis. Please remember that. Lawl remember, alright?” I asked.

“Lawl I remember, Flare. I understand completely.” Water nodded.

“Just…. make sure he doesn’t assault you or make you feel uncomfortable. I don’t… I don’t want him to hurt you, Water. I’m really worried.” I said.

“Flarey, I’m ok. He does have a temper, but you have to remember he’s only doing what’s best for me.” Water explained as she placed her hoof on my shoulder.

“I strongly doubt that.” I said.

“Look. Tomorrow, all day, you and me. No Fonz, it’s just the two of us. You can tell me a little more about your adventures here in Ponyville. Sound good?” Water suggested.

“Sounds like a great idea, Water!” I agreed, even though she could just read Book 1 of my story. I really write these you know. This is like my journal. It’s like Diary of a Wimpy Kid, except I’m not as wimpy as I used to be. So they both left the shop, and I spent most of my time afterwards thinking of what should happen next.

“That pony is going really out of hand. My sister is not a toy, she's a pony! He doesn't own her! Fonz is a terrible coltfriend and if he doesn’t shape up soon, I’ll have no choice but to make Water break up with him.” I said.

"Yeah, you do that." Keith nodded.

"Oh, you're still here?" I asked.

"Yeah." he said. “Why? You want me to leave?”

"Sorry you had to see that." I said.

"No worries, just teach that punk a lesson.” Keith advised me.

"Oh don’t worry, I will; I most definitely well. Meh heh heeeeeh.” I chuckled evilly.

A few hours later, I closed up shop and went back home. Water was talking to my fish before I got there. "I dunno guys. What you think?" Water asked.

"Yes, we think Fonz is a bad coltfriend and you should break up with him." Pearl said.

"I mean, I like tacos, but I like pizza better." Water said.

"Oh she's talking about food." Rainbow said.

"I like this subject!" Yoyo said excitedly.

"You understand me, right Darrel?" Water asked him who was swimming around the front of the tank.

"Yeah, of course! I agree with everypony! Everypony is right!" Darrel said.

"Water, what are you doing?" Fonz asked her.

"I'm talking to Flare's fish." she answered.

"Well stop that, its stupid." he said.

"Flare does it all the time." she said.

"Yeah, well Flare is stupid." he said.

"Hey, don't talk to him that way!" she demanded.

"You’re right, I’m being over-sensitive.” Fonz agreed. “We’re not out in public. Go ahead and talk to those… little parasites.”

"Ooooooh… wow. Woooooooow.” Rainbow said, feeling a little insulted.

"What do you think, Piddles? What do you think I should do?" Water asked Piddles.

"How should I know, but if you really want to impress Flare, you should stick to the pizza." Piddles said to her.

"I don't care either way. Any food is good food for me." Yoyo said as he burped.

"Oh Yoyo, you can at least say excuse me or something." Pearl suggested.

"Something." Yoyo said.

"Really, Yoyo?" Pearl asked.

"Really really, Pearl." Yoyo said.

Water chuckles. "You fish crack me up sometimes. Especially you Rainbow."

"How?" Rainbow asked.

"I think she was pointing at me." Dorthey corrected him.

"No she wasn't, Dorthey. Besides, she said my name." Rainbow corrected her.

"We're the same kind of fish, how can she tell the difference?" Dorthey asked.

“Here Water, c’mere.” Fonz said with his front hooves out. “Gimmie a hug. I’ll always be there for you, come on. I won’t bite.” So Water accepted the hug. “Awww…. I love you, Water Gun.”

“I love you too, Fonz Punkskull.” Water said as they cuddled.

“Awwwwww- BLEH!” Yoyo teased, making a barfing sound.

“Gimmie a kiss, baby.” Fonz suggested. Water blushed and giggled and then she leaned close to Fonz’s face, preparing to give him a kiss, but before they can do so, I was on the other side of my closed bedroom door and knocking.

Knock, knock, knock; “Water?” Knock, knock, knock; “Water?” Knock, knock, knock; “Water?”

“Do not make a sound.” Fonz whispered to Water.

“Whispering ‘do not make a sound’ is a sound.” I reminded him.

“Oh DANG his Vulcan hearing!” Water complained. I opened the door and saw Fonz and Water were in there cuddling.

“Fonz, I thought I asked you not to go into my bedroom?” I asked.

“Water’s in here.” Fonz said.

“She’s my sister! She’s allowed in here.” I corrected him.

“Kinda ironic, counting that most siblings don’t want their siblings in their rooms.” Water said.

"Oh, Flare's here. Now this dude’s in trouble." Piddles said with an evil smirk.

“It’s not just that, Fonz – you signed the Roommate Agreement.” I reminded him.

“Oh here we go with the Roommate Agreement.” Water rolled her eyes and complained.

“Let’s see… section 4, paragraph 5… no… wait… it’s paragraph 7.” I took out the Roommate Agreement and read it aloud. “It says here that I, Fonz Punkskull (I’m just reading what it says by words) hereby accept that I am not allowed to barge into Flare Gun’s room under any circumstances, unless an apocalyptic possibility were to occur, such as a massive earthquake, chaotic significance, or even the possibility of an alien invasion.”

“ALIENS!” Pinkie yelled from all the way at the Crystal Empire.

“Flare, what makes you sure that aliens exist? It’s stupid.” Fonz asked.

“Don’t jinx it, brah, it could happen.” I said.

“Here we can just go back to the guest room.” Water said.

“Why? You think I should be told what to do by this pony? I have no idea why he’s letting us stay here. He obviously doesn’t like me.” Fonz said.

“You’re right, I don’t like you, but I am forced to respect you unless you give my sister any more trouble.” I said as I pointed to the Roommate Agreement.

“Why should I listen to a pony like you? A pony that treats his own fish like they’re pony-beings. They have no rights!” Fonz explained.

“HEY! Don’t you DARE talk about my fish that way!” I demanded as I hugged my fish tank.

"Nopony messes with us while Flare's around!" Darrel said. "WOO! Go Flare!"

"Why do you care about those little fish? They have no feelings." Fonz said to me. All the fish gasped.

"Oh, he's asking for it now." Yoyo said.

"Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?!" I yelled at him. "These fish are very special! Don't ever talk about them that way!"

"Oh yeah, what you gonna do about it shrimp?" Fonz asked, really trying me.

"That's not all, you're abusing my sister!" I said.

"He is not!" Water said.

"I am not!" he said.

“Fonz, may I speak to my sister in private?” I asked him.

“No, if you have to tell us something, tell both of us!” Water demanded.

“No, he’s right. This is between sibling and sibling. I’ll get out of your way.” Fonz said as he leaves the room, but before he leaves the room, he uses his magic on my accordion case without me knowing and then he storms out.

"Water, don't you see what he's doing to you?" I asked her. "He's being a jerk to you! He thinks he's better than you!”

"But he is." Water said. “I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for him.”

“Who you are today? You’re no different than when you moved out of Mareami! The only difference is: you’re a doormat! He’s treating you wrong and you need to break up with him!” I instructed her.

“I WILL NOT! Fonz is very sweet to me! He just shows tough love!” Water explained.

“Tough love? He nearly hit you!” I reminded her.

“But he didn’t.” Water reminded me.

“Has he ever hit you in the past?” I asked.

“Well… maybe one time when I was talking to another stallion.” Water said.

“Were you flirting with that stallion?” I asked.

“He was our waiter trying to take our order!” Water said.

“See? He is abusing you! Don’t you deny it! You have to break up with him before it’s too late! You’re going to regret it, Water!” I yelled.

“Look Flare, I understand what you’re saying, and I somewhat agree, but I don’t want to be alone, Flare. I could never find anypony to love me. Only Fonz does, and I cannot lose him. I will not be able to find anyone else!” Water begged.

“Sure you can. The ladies here love me.” I said. “I’m pretty sure they’ll love you too!”

“Flare… I’m interested in stallions.” Water reminded me.

“Really? Cause you look like the mare-lover type.” I said.

“Flare, please don’t tease me about this. Happy Wheels already did that.” Water said.

A cutaway shows Water playing Happy Wheels, but without showing all the blood and such. “Save your boyfriend, huh? That’s what the map is called huh? No! Not my right half! Oh you gonna try to stop me huh you lawyer suit, weirdos? How do you feel with a TIRE ON YOUR FACE! HA! Dude, why are you sitting on that guy?!” she started laughing. “Excuse me. Get outta here! You’re coming with meeeee. Ok just let me get passed your weird get-together so I can save my boyfriend. Whoa! Sorry ‘bout that! Whoa! Sorry! Someone important needs my attention! Oh the finish line!” Just then the Happy Wheels victory music comes on and Water cheers. “YAAAAAY! HA HA HAAAA! Wait…. where’s my boyfriend? He’s not at the finish line.” Just then Water began to weep. “Oh that’s right! I’m all alone! Waaaaaaah haaaaaah!” Special thanks to Markiplier for this cutaway idea. Go watch his videos! He is AWESOME! The cutaway ends.

“Water, I’m not gonna allow Fonz to treat this way; now as your brother, I command you to break up with that son of a parent!” I demanded.

“I’m sorry, Flare, but this isn’t up to you. This is MY life and I choose however I want to choose it. If I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with some abuser then I decide that! I don’t want you to take control of my life! I’m your older sister!” Water yelled.

“THEN WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!” I yelled.

Water gasped. “Oh… this isn’t about Fonz is it? Oh… Flarey. You’re right. I left you alone in Mareami for my own well being. We were always there for eachother, but… I left you to deal with all the jerks.” Water explained as she began to feel bad. I didn’t say anything. I really didn’t know what I was saying, it just slipped out, but now I do realize it. Water was one of the closest things I had to a friend back in Mareami, along with my fish and Mare in the Moon, but Water and I were close.

“Oh Water…. You’re right. Maybe this isn’t about Fonz. Maybe I just… missed you so much.” I said.

“Well… I’m here now, Flarey, and I’m here to stay. Fonz and I were thinking of living here in Ponyville. I didn’t just come to Ponyville just to visit you. I came because….. I missed you.” Water said as she put her arm around me.

“I missed you too, Water. I mean, I less than three it here. I have my own pizza shop, all the friends I need, a heroic title, but I was missing my greatest friend of all….. my family.” I said as I teared up a bit.

“I won’t leave, Flare. We’re staying right here with you.” Water said.

“Water?” Fonz asked as he barged inside. “Pack your things, we’re leaving.”

“What?” Water asked.

“Why would he say that right after you said you’re staying?” I asked. “That is very cruel, man. Also, were you spying on us?”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re leaving.” Fonz said.

“But Fonz… we can’t leave. Flare needs me.” Water said.

“He has his friends, doesn’t he?” Fonz reminded her.

“He needs his loving older sister, Fonz. I will not leave him.” Water said.

“Ok, babe, if you say so. We’ll talk this over in the morning. Now get into this bedroom, and we’ll get some sleep.” Fonz instructed her.

“Ok, we’ll talk about this in the morning.” Water agreed. “Just as soon as Flare plays us a little something from his accordion.”

I smiled and squeed. “Very happy face! I thought you’d NEVER ask! Time to feel the power of polka! HA HAAAAA!” I went over to my accordion case and opened it up. “Aww yeah! Time to really rock this trailer out!” I took out my accordion, but it was all shattered and broken, but I didn’t notice yet.

“Whoa!” Water gasped as she looks at my accordion.

“I know! Isn’t my accordion swell? Now… a 1 and a 2 and a 1, 2, 3!” I began to play my broken accordion which was sounded like a nails screeching on a chalkboard. I didn’t notice yet, but I began singing, “Oh Water Gun, oh Water Gun, I would never live without you – Water Gun is the best sister around and here’s what we’re going to do…. We’re gonna run and skip and jump like a happy child - we’re gonna add a bunch of pics inside our pics folder - then post them on Facebook and tag the ponies that are not in it – then they delete their names so notifications won’t pig iiiiiiiiiit… their inboxes I meeeeeeean… and then I get pokes from Keith- HEY!” Just then, my accordion shatters into a bunch of pieces.

“WHAT IN THE WIZARD OF STRENGTH?!” I gasped.

“Oooh… pity.” Fonz said.

“NO! My accordion! The symbol that made me feel a lot like Weird Al… has shattered into a million pieces!” I said shockingly.

“Actually that looks more like a few hundred.” Fonz corrected me.

I then gasped. “Gasp! YOU! It was YOU!”

“What?” Fonz asked.

“YOU DID IT! YOU BROKE MY ACCORDION!” I yelled.

“Wha- no I didn’t!” Fonz corrected me.

“Well I know Water would never do such a thing and my fish wouldn’t either.” I said.

“Actually… I never liked that thing.” Piddles said.

“I did!” Darrel said excitedly.

“You like EVERYTHING, Darrel.” Piddles pointed out.

“You have violated the Roommate Agreement, Section 4, Paragraph 8… DON’T BREAK ANY OF MY STUFF!” I yelled.

“Whoa, Flare! I’m sure it was just an accident.” Water said.

“NO! Fonz is a terrible pony! He abuses you, he breaks my stuff, he even insulted my fish! That’s the worse type of pony around, even worse than Swinebutt!” I yelled.

“Flare, please, calm down!” Water instructed me.

“No, Water, this ends now. I want this pony out of my trailer and out of our lives!” I demanded as I pointed to Fonz.

“Flare… we’re a whole, Fonz and me. If you want Fonz out of your life, you’re saying you want me out of your life too. Is that correct? Do you want me out of your life too?” Water asked.

“NO! I’m doing this to protect you!” I yelled.

“Fonz is all the protection I need. I have made my decision. We will leave here tomorrow morning.” Water said.

“No, Water… please!” I begged.

“Fonz will not be a problem to you anymore.” Water said as she just walked out with her eyes closed and her head up high, but then she runs into the wall and hurts her nose. “Ow!” she said as she rubbed her nose and gave me a glare before she walked out. Fonz gave me an evil smirk before he followed her out.

"Sad face." I said. So I sadly walked over to my bed and flopped down on it face first.

"Hey, you did what you thought was right." Pearl said to me. "Yeah, she might be mad at you now, but she'll get over it."

"Pearl? It's no use." Rainbow said, putting his fin on her shoulder. "He can't understand us. Soon he will find out who is actually the true enemy here.

"You?" Darrel asked.

"No, but- Shut up, Darrel!" Rainbow said angrily, and Darrel chuckled. "As I was saying; Flare will be able to make Water believe that she's actually being abused. She just needs a little push and I think tomorrow will be the day it'll all happen."

“Really? Aww why tomorrow?” Darrel whined. “Tomorrow’s the day I’m watching that new Avatar episode.”

A cutaway shows Aang and his friend meeting with ‘the world’s greatest Bender’. “So let me get this straight,” Sokka started, “According to the sign up front, you’re the world’s greatest ‘bender’?”

“I’m not sure what this guy can teach Aang anything about bending.” Katara said.

“Listen, sweet cheeks,” Bender the robot said, “Fork over 500 samolians and I’ll teach cue-ball here how to bend puppies. Puppies made of metal that is… heh heh heeeeh.”

“The fire nation is going down!” Aang cried out in excitement.

“Yeah, whatever, buddy. Looks like it’s time for a drink.” Bender said as he takes out a few bottles.

“Oh how nice!” Aang said happily. Just then, Bender opens all of the bottles and starts drinking them all at once. He then throws them aside and burps.

“What sounds nice?” Bender asked. The cutaway ends.

Just then as I was still laying face first on my bed, the lights go out in my room.

"Oh great, the generator's out." Rainbow complained.

“How come Flare isn’t surprised?” Dorthey asked.

“He’s laying face-first on his bed, knit-wit.” Rainbow said to her.

“Don’t be so rude, Rainbow! I was only asking!” Dorthey complained.

"What's going on?" Darrel asked.

"HEY! What in the blue wizards are… LET GO OF ME!” I yelled.

"What's going on out there?" Dorthey asked.

"I dunno, I can't see a thing!" Piddles said. "Luckily, I don't even see that fish that mocks me. Yeah, get lost, jerk!”

"HELP! WATER! HELP!” I cried. I was shooting flares all around my room with my horn and the fish were able to see Fonz ponynapping me. "FISHIES! CALL FOR-" Fonz pinched my neck (I dunno how) and then I was knocked out.

"Your owner is coming with me!" Fonz said to the fish. "And there's nothing you can do to stop me! I never loved Water; I used her to get to Flare. My boss will love my achievement! I'll be off now." Fonz laughed evily. "Wait, did I just talk to those stupid fish? What is wrong with me?" Fonz puts me in a sack and carries me out of my trailer.

"Oh no!" Rainbow yelled.

“Wow… he’s carrying a sack and he doesn’t even say ‘ho, ho, ho’, or ‘alright you kiddies’.” Yoyo complained.

"There's no time for this! We gotta help Flare!" Rainbow said.

"How are we gonna do that?" Pearl asked.

Rainbow whistles out and then suddenly, a phoenix flies towards the trailer, but hits the window and falls over. Rainbow gave himself a facefin and he jumped out of the tank and opened the window. The phoenix came inside.

"You called?" the phoenix asked.

"Who's that?" Piddles asked.

"This is Apollo, Blaze's pet phoenix." Rainbow said.

"Blaze has a phoenix?" Piddles asked.

"Yeah, you don't remember him?" Rainbow asked.

"I was probably sleeping." Piddles said.

"You always sleep, Piddles." Yoyo said.

"Hey, Apollo!" Rainbow said to the phoenix.

"Hello, Rainbow! What is the nature of your call?" Apollo asked.

"This pony named Fonz Punkskull who is the coltfriend of Flare's sister Water has kidnapped Flare." Rainbow explained.

"No way!" Apollo said in shock.

"Yes way! We saw it!" Dorthey said.

"That would explain the flares fired all around the room." Apollo said.

"You need to get Flare's friends so they can rescue him!" Rainbow said.

"Thank you for telling me this, Rainbow." Apollo said.

"Hey Apollo, you're so cool!" Darrel said to him.

"Thank you, Darrel. Alright, I'll be off now." Apollo said. Apollo flies off into the night sky.

“How is he going to alert Flare’s friends?” Dorthey asked.

“He’s a phoenix, and Blaze has phoenix powers. Apollo says they can communicate. It’s probably the only chance of Flare being rescued. We can just hope for the best.” Rainbow explained.

Meanwhile, Apollo flies over to Blaze's house and wakes him up. "Huh? What?" Blaze asked. "What is it Apollo?"

“Master, Flare Gun has been taken captive by Fonz Punkskull.” Apollo explained.

“You couldn’t ask me to do this in the morning?” Blaze complained as he laid back down.

“But master!” Apollo tried to persuade Blaze.

“Yes, I heard you, Blaze has been taken captive by- HE’S BEEN TAKEN CAPTIVE BY FONZ PUNKSKULL?!” he yelled.

“Took you long enough.” Apollo mumbled.

“Thanks for telling me this, Apollo! I have to call up the Noble Six first!” Blaze yelled. “Oh, but wait, I need some caffeine first. I don’t feel fully awake yet.” Blaze walks over to his kitchen and makes himself a cup of coffee. Apollo follows him.

“But master, your friend may need your help now!” Apollo persuaded him.

“I know, but I need to feel more awaken first.” Blaze said as he pours himself the cup and drinks it.

“But master, you may never see him again!” Apollo said. Blaze then spits out the coffee in shock. “So you care now, huh?”

“What? Oh no, I always cared. I just remembered that I hate coffee.” Blaze said. Apollo sighs. So Blaze calls up Crystal, Psyche, Engie, and Aqua, and they all met up at town square.

"So let me get this straight; Flare has been kidnapped by Fonz?" Aqua asked.

"That's what Apollo said," Blaze said.

"I can't believe you can actually communicate with that thing." Crystal said.

"Me neither." Engie said.

"What are we gonna do?" Aqua asked.

"We gotta rescue him, duh!" Crystal said. “But first, I think I might need some coffee.”

"Well of course we’re going to rescue him, Crystal!” Psyche said in an obvious tone. “But the question still remains. I can understand he’s abusive to his sister, but why would he kidnap Flare? That doesn’t make much sense.”

"Well Apollo did say something about the fish saying that Flare wanted Fonz to leave and break up with Water, but Water became angry at him and then Fonz might have wanted revenge." Blaze said.

"But Blaze, don't you see? There is something weird going on with that stallion. Flare said his shop was attacked by robots earlier today." Psyche said. "I think Fonz may have something to do with them."

“Also, Flare did say somethin’ about a familiar logo on the robots; a black circle with a red ‘S’.” Engie said.

“That’s the symbol of the mysterious doctor.” Aqua said.

“The same symbol that we saw when the Mane Six were kidnapped and taken to Chaos Mountain?” Crystal asked. “Or maybe I just might be thinking of a Teen Titans fanfic character.”

"So this is starting to make sense. It appears Flare's sister has a coltfriend that actually works for the pony that almost freed Discord and nearly doomed Equestria." Psyche said.

"Psyche, you're a genius!" Crystal said.

"Well I wouldn't say a genius, that's a pretty strong word, Crystal. But thanks!" Psyche said.

“Trust me, I didn’t wanna say it either.” Crystal said.

“Way to spoil the moment.” Psyche rolled his eyes.

"Y’all have any idea where he might have taken Flare?" Engie asked.

“We have to spread out, search the entire town for him. We have to find him before Fonz does something awful to him…. or his sister.” Blaze said.

“Well in that case, we better get movin’.” Aqua said.

“Ok, Aqua, you search the south end of town; Crystal, you search the north; Psyche, east; Engie west; and I’ll search around the center and the skies.” Blaze instructed them.

“Aww, why do you have to search more areas than us?” Crystal complained.

So the Noble Six began to search the town for me. I have no idea why though, and to be honest, I didn't even know they were going after me because I was with Fonz at the Ponyville Warehouse. I was tied onto a chair, and there was a little ring on my horn to prevent me from using magic; I then suddenly woke up many hours later. The room was completely dark, except for the light that's shining on top of me.

"Ugggh, what happened?" I asked. "This isn't my house." I looked up and saw the spotlight that was facing down towards me. "Oh, this must be a play. I guess I have to sing. What's my part?"

"Your part is to sit there quietly and tell us what we need to know." a voice that sounded like Fonz said.

"Well how can I sit here quietly AND tell you what you need to know, dum dum?" I asked.

"Keep making smart-plot comments like that and it'll be the last thing you'll do." Fonz said, but he was in the darkness so I couldn't see him.

"Well there's still so much I have to do, so fine." I said. "Fonz is that you?"

"No, it's your mom." he said.

"You don't sound like her. Whatever. Hi mom!" I said.

"You're really stupid, aren't you?" he asked.

"No, I'm just spreading the lulz. I can stop if I want to. I just choose to keep doing this." I said.

"Well, so far, I'm not laughing." he said.

"Well who said you needed to be the one to lawl? I could be amusing myself or anypony else that's in this room." I said.

"Well you had your fun. Now tell me what I need to know and your sister will be fine." he said.

"Well... wait a sec that was fourth time we started a sentence with the word 'well'." I said.

"Well... wait, what? SHUT UP!" he yelled.

"Sigh. I apologize for saying that stuff to you last night. I just didn't want to see my sister be tortured and pushed around anymore. No offense, right?" I asked.

"This isn't about that." he said.

"Well, then what is this about?" I asked. “Oh dang, I said ‘well’ again.”

"I was never really in love with your sister. I just used her to get to you." he said.

"Well you can just visit my shop; you don't need to date my sister to see me." I said. "Wait, you never loved my sister? YOU USED HER?!"

Fonz laughed evily. "Of course I did! Who cares? I'm only loyal to my boss, the doctor."

"The doctor? Did you send those robots to attack my shop?" I asked.

"Yes, yes I did." he said.

"You know, it's not easy running a shop. Making a complete mess didn't help either." I said.

"We're trying to ruin you, you know." he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because the doctor knew you before you moved here, so he wants his revenge." he said.

"Revenge for what? What did I do? I don't even know anypony by the name ‘Doctor’. Except for Doctor Who." I said. "Wait, I don't work for the Master, I swear!"

"We know you don't. This isn't a television series you know." Fonz reminded me.

"Or is it?" I asked snarly.

"No, it's not." he said.

"Oh. Sad face." I said. "Well, who's this doctor I keep hearing about anyway?"

"That's none of your concern." he said.

“I know some ponies that had a grudge on me in the past. I know a few that became doctors, but I dunno which one.” I said. “But since you said they have a grudge on me, it is my concerned. Since I moved into Ponyville, this doctor tried to destroy my business, and my life. The robotic Trixie, Chrysalis at the Nashorse race, Boorlie Pomodoro disguising himself as Health Inspector Jones, and let’s not forget the biggest plan of all – turning me into something I’m not…. a monster.”

"Well you ruined his life. Now he wants something back." Fonz said.

"Ruined his life? Bro, I didn't ruin any lives back in Mareami! Ponies were ruining MINE!" I cried.

"You may not realize it, but you ruined alot of lives back in Mareami, or so he said." Fonz said.

"Like you're ruining my sister's life?" I asked.

"I'll make you eat those words." He said angrily.

"Yeah, I'm pretty hungry for breakfast." I said. Just then, Fonz walked towards me, and went into the light so I can see him. He was taking off his jacket and his shirt. "HOLY WIZARD OF HOPE! NO! I'm not interesting in stallions!" After he took off his jacket and shirt, it showed a big red S on his stomach. "Oh... you were just gonna show me the S. I'm still wondering what that S means."

"Now, show me that belly button." he said.

"What? What are you gonna do with it?" I asked.

"I'm gonna poke it many times." he said.

"For Wizard of Feeling's sake! NO! Not my belly button! Everypony who knows me knows not to touch my belly button! I don't like anypony touching my belly button!" I yelled.

"That's what the doctor said." Fonz said with an evil smile; then he chuckled. I started screaming as he was poking my belly button. The Noble Six were hearing my screaming from the outside.

"Hey, did you mates hear that?" Aqua asked.

"I heard screamming." Psyche said.

"Oh snap! That must be Flare!" Crystal yelled. “Wow, the was the first time I said ‘oh snap’ in a while.”

"C'mon!" Blaze yelled. The Noble Six reached the warehouse and tried to open the garage door, but couldn't get it opened.

"It's locked." Aqua said.

"No duh." Engie said obviously.

"We gotta find a way inside. Flare is counting on us!" Crystal said. “Except we don’t have any numbers on us. Maybe he’s writing numbers on a paper on us. Most likely our backs. Our backs are more like tables than anything else on our bodies.”

“How are we going to get inside?” Aqua asked.

"Watch and learn, guys." Psyche said as he flew to the top of the warehouse near an air vent. "Well what do you know! An air vent. What a surprise." he said sarcastically.

"How did you know there was a vent up there, Psyche?" Crystal asked.

"For every locked building, there is always an air vent somewhere. There is always a way inside." Psyche said as Blaze and Crystal flew up with Psyche onto the roof.

"Hey what about us?" Engie asked.

"Yeah, we don't have wings like you mates." Aqua said.

"Just wait down there and we'll get the door opened." Psyche said.

"Don’t take too long." Engie said.

Blaze opened the air vent, and the three pegasi snuck inside, and saw me being tortured by Fonz. "Stop touching my belly button!" I yelled.

"Sure, sure. I have some unfinished business with your sister anyway. The doctor will take care of you." Fonz said.

"What are you gonna do to Water?" I asked him angrily.

"Oh nothing really, just... gonna get married." he said and chuckled. I just looked at him with an annoyed look. "What? You not scared?"

"She's not gonna accept." I said.

"What? Fool. She already accepted." he said.

"When?" I asked.

"Last night." he said.

I didn't say anything, but I was left with a shocking look in my face. Just then I glared at him. “No she didn’t.”

"Yes she did. I'm gonna go pick her up, and we'll be heading somewhere to get married." he said.

"Where?" I asked.

"Not saying. If I told you then you might have a chance to save her. Which you won't anyway, not with you stuck here." Fonz said. He chuckles again. "And the way you treated her last night, she won’t miss you! Farewell! The doctor will be here to pick you up soon." Fonz continued chuckling and left the warehouse. I just sat there, not saying or doing anything. Psyche, Blaze, and Crystal walked up to me just after Fonz left.

"Wow, I never thought I would see you this quiet." Psyche said. "This must be some serious business."

"Nah, I just knew you were there.” I said.

"How did you know?" Crystal asked.

"Only Blaze would breathe smoke from his nose. I smelled the smoke." I said.

"It's true." Blaze said. "Unless it's Spike."

"But Spike left for the Crystal Empire." I said. "Now untie me and get this anti-magic thing off my horn, please?" Blaze untied me and Psyche took the anti-magic ring off my horn, but do I have to say that? I guess so.

"You alright, buddy?" Blaze asked.

"Don't worry, it's kay." I said.

"So you heard, huh?" Blaze asked.

"Heard what?" I asked.

"That Fonz was only using Water?" Blaze asked.

"Uh huh." I said.

"You don't seem to feel that angry." Psyche said.

"Because I'm not that surprised face, Psyche. I kinda figured that something like this was gonna happen." I said. "I didn't trust that dude one bit."

"So what's the plan now?" Crystal asked.

"Well first I want some breakfast." I said.

"You're not gonna want to rescue your sister?" Blaze asked.

"But I'm gonna need the energy to rescue her. Breakfast, the most important meal of the day! Serve it up, Noble Six way! Praise the Wizards!" I yelled.

"Okay, fine. Where do you wanna go?" Blaze asked. So we all ended up eating at Denny’s.

“Ah, Denny’s! Such a wonderful place to have breakfast! The second best place!” Crystal said.

“What’s the first?” Aqua asked.

“Cracker Barrel.” Crystal said.

“I always thought of that restaurant as a BBQ place.” Aqua said.

"Oh, by the way, thanks for not opening the garage door for us and missin’ all the action." Engie said sarcastically.

"Fonz was still in the room. We couldn't summon you without him noticing." Blaze said.

"And what action? All we did is see Fonz torture Flare." Crystal reminded him.

"It was the torture ah wanted to see.” Engie said.

"So how did you brahs know where I was?" I asked.

"Well Apollo said your fish said you were kidnapped." Blaze said. "So..."

"Yeah, umm, who’s that?” I asked.

“My pet phoenix.” Blaze said.

"You never mentioned him before, like…. ever.” I reminded him.

“Yeah.” Blaze agreed.

"But still, awww. I knew my fish would come to save the day! I should thank them when I get home." I said.

"Wait, what about us? You didn't thank us for the rescue." Crystal complained.

"Oh you're my friends, you don't need a thanks from me. Just a group hug!" I said.

"I think I'd rather go with a thank you, if you don't mind?" Aqua asked.

"How about both?" I asked.

"Meh.” Aqua shrugged.

“Soooo… were you brahs up all night?” I asked.

Engie yawned. “Pretty much.”

“Sorry, brahs. I didn’t want to be an inconvenience.” I said.

“It’s ok, man.” Blaze said. “You were in trouble, and Fonz is trouble.”

“Or I was trouble and Fonz was in trouble.” I teased.

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Blaze asked.

“No, you didn’t listen. I switched it around.” I reminded him.

“Ah.” Blaze nodded.

“You get it?” I asked.

“I do!” Blaze said. “Anyways we seemed to be finished with our meals. You ready to go find Water?”

"Sure! Let's go!" I said.

“Wait, I think I have to use the bathroom.” Aqua said.

“One or two?” Engie asked.

“Is that any of ya’re concerned?” Aqua asked.

“Just sayin’, don’t trust public restrooms.” Engie said.

“Ya got a point. I’ll just go when I get to Flare’s.” Aqua said.

So we all walked to my trailer. I saw the security system wasn't completely online because Water knows to secure my trailer when she leaves, that's what I do. "It doesn't look like the security system is completely online. They must still be here."

"So we ready to kick this user's plot?" Crystal asked.

"Actually... I'm gonna go in by myself. This is my personal issue; my family is at stake here. I'll take care of Fonz alone." I said.

"But Flare, you can't do this alone! He looks like he's stronger than you. You'll need the help!" Blaze suggested.

Aqua put his hoof on Blaze's shoulder. "Blaze, let Flare handle this on his own."

"Can we at least record it and put it on YouTube?" Engie asked, holding a video camera.

"Sure! No problemo, brah! Everypony loves a good fight." I said.

"Try not to fight right away, Flare. Try reasonin’ with him first." Aqua suggested.

"That's what I'm planning to do.” I said.

“Also I can use your bathroom, right?” Aqua asked.

“Of course.” I nodded.

"Good luck, partner!" Engie said

"If you need us, we'll be out here waiting." Blaze said. I nodded and Aqua and I went inside my trailer. There was panting and grunting coming from my room.

“Hold still, Water, and nopony gets hurt.” Fonz said from the other room.

"Flare, HELP!" Water cried. I burst inside my room and Fonz was holding on to Water tight. Water was trying to break free but couldn’t.

"Water!” I gasped.

"Well, well, well! I didn't think you'd be able to get free so quickly." Fonz said as he chuckled. "You're just in time to see us off. Who’s this?” he looks over at Aqua.

“Sorry, I’m just here to use the bathroom.” Aqua said as he steps into my lavatory and closes the door.

"You mean to see YOU off, Fonz?” I asked him. “Because Water is staying right here with me. You on the other hoof, better hit the road jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more."

"I ain't leaving without my prize!" Fonz said.

"Flare! You were right! You were right all along!" Water cried.

"Shut it! You're gonna be my new bride, Water Punkskull!" he said and chuckled.

"Seriously?" I asked. "Water Punkskull? Doesn't seem to be a good combination."

"Step out of my way, Flare Gun!" he yelled.

"Sure thing, just let go of Water." I said.

"How about, if you don't move away, I'll pour chlorine into your fish tank." he said holding a bottle of chlorine water.

"But that stuff will kill them!" I cried.

"No Flare, don't!" Darrel yelled. "We have so much to live for!"

"We've been living with him for years. Who knows how long we'll be alive for?" Rainbow reminded him.

"What do you doing, Fonz? Those are my fish! You can't kill poor defenseless fish!" I yelled.

"Do you love your fish more than me, Flare?" Water asked.

"I love you both equal, but at least chlorine can't kill you." I said.

"If you know what's best for you and your fish, you'd better step out of my way!" Fonz ordered.

"Flare, don't let him take me!" Water begged.

"Don't worry, I won't." I said winking to Rainbow.

"Why's he winking at you, Rainbow?" Dorthey asked. Then Rainbow gives out a whistle.

"Then say good-night to your fish." Fonz said evilly, almost pouring the chlorine into the tank.

"FLARE NO!" Pearl yelled.

"Did he completely lose his mind?!" Yoyo yelled. "Flare would never throw our lives away like that!"

Just then, Apollo (Blaze's phoenix if you don't remember) flies into my room and slaps the chlorine right out of Fonz’s magic grip and it spills all over the floor.

"Oh wait to go Apollo! Now I have to clean that up!" I complained. Just then Apollo shrugs and lands himself right on the fish tank.

“I will protect you, my aquatic friends.” Apollo said.

“I love this phoenix already!” Darrel said excitedly.

Fonz gets really angry at me and even blows out steam. "Alright Flare Gun, it seems you can't take a hint. It looks like I'll have to finish you personally!" Fonz yelled.

"Come at me bro! My body is ready!" I yelled. “Wow… just…. Wow.”

"You're gonna regret saying that." Fonz said.

“Yeah, I pretty much did.” I said.

"Fonz, don't do this!" Water yelled.

"Shut it, you're no better!" he yelled at her as he slapped her across the face.

“OUCH! That hurt! I can file a lawsuit against you for that!” Water yelled.

“GASP!” I gasped. I started to get super angry now. If I wasn’t angry before…. wait, I was angry before, why am I saying that? “Ok Fonz, I gave you a chance, but that assault just crosses the line! You mess with my sister….. you mess with me!”

"Sure no problem. Bring it on!" he said. I started doing karate poses and making karate sounds, but then Fonz shoots a big laser blast from his horn, which made me fly through my hallway then I fly out my trailer and hit a pile of trash cans across the street. Catsgroove by Parov Stelar started playing in the background while I was laying on the pile of trash with my eyes rolling around my sockets. I shook my head and regained my senses and then I saw Crystal playing that song on her iPod.

"Thanks for the music, Crystal." I said.

"Sorry, I thought it was perfect for the timing." Crystal said.

"Yes it was. Now play... Everyone was Kung Fu Fighting." I said.

"Oh I don't have that song, but I do have Eye of the Tiger." Crystal said.

"Nah. I’m planning that for chapter 17. Play Chateau by Rob Dogan.” I suggested.

"Okay." she said, and turns the song on in the radio. Fonz bursts outside and sees me.

"GET UP!" he ordered me.

"Oh I'll teach that punk a lesson!" Blaze yelled. Then Aqua put his hoof in front of Blaze, blocking him.

"No. This is between brother and coltfriend." Aqua said.

"This is gonna be darn tootin entertainin’!" Engie said, recording all that's going on.

I stood up with my horn glowing. "Three hits, that's all I need. Game over. Just telling you now." I said. "Me hitting you, you hitting the floor, and me kicking your flank out of town!"

"Kicks and hits aren't the same thing, partner." Engie corrected me.

"Hush!" Psyche shushed him.

I activate my hornsaber, which is one of my magic spells. It's really just a baseball bat, but it glows and it looks like a lightsaber, and it's on my horn. Did I tell you that? I forgot. I keep taking breaks while I type this story down; I have a life you know.

"It's gonna be like that, huh?" Fonz asked. He activates his hornsaber too, which is red, when mine is blue.

"What's your special talent?" I asked.

"My cutie mark is a skull, which means death, and I can do any magic spells that mean hurting you really bad!" he said.

"Let's bring it around town, Fonzie! Bring it around town!" I said as I spun my waist around. Fonz charges to me and we start having a hornsaber battle. Every time I hit his hornsaber, I go: "Then we do this... and this... and this... and this, and that, and this, and that, and this, and that, and then..." I knocked Fonz over and I was about to whack him with my saber, but then I said, "Oh poo, I don't have any bubbles to blow.” Fonz kicked me, which pushed me out of his way, and he stood up and we continued to use our hornsabers against eachother. It's pretty much of an even fight, but then shortly after, he poked me in the belly button. "Ow! I told you, not the belly button!" Then Fonz whacked his saber across my face. Yeah he caught me off guard. He kept whacking me and I fell on the ground with a bruised face, and I even had a black eye.

Fonz starts to chuckle again. "Give up, and I'll take you to the doctor, not in a full body cast." he said.

I weakly, stood up. "Hey Fonz, guess what?" I asked.

"What?" he asked.

"RAIL BLAST!" I yelled as I then used my rail blast spell to push him real far, and he hit a building wall, which even cracked.

"OW!" he cried.

"And for my grand finale..." I started while my horn starts glowing, attempting to use my SHOOP DA WHOOP spell on him. "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZ..." But before I could finish, he fires another laser blast from his horn, and it pushes me towards another building wall and my spell fails.

"The doctor did say something about your laser spell. Yeah, not gonna work, buddy." he said. I was sitting against the wall, all bruised up, and stars were floating on top of my head, like really, since I'm in a cartoon universe. "Time to finish you off!"

"FLARE! USE YOUR ARMOR LOCK!" Aqua yelled.

"What am I, a Pokemon? Don't tell me what to do!" I complained.

Fonz starts to chuckle. Blaze started to get impatient. "Now can I help him?" he asked.

"I suppose so." Aqua said.

"Not so fast!" Water yelled exiting my trailer, wiping the tears off her face. "I think it's time we finally broke up!" she yelled at him. Then the Noble Six started cheering.

"Woo hoo! Way to stick it up to him, Water!" Psyche yelled.

"You go girl that sounds similar to me!" Crystal yelled.

"I'm sorry, babe. I didn't hear what you said. I dare you to say it to me again!" Fonz threatened her, while walking towards her.

"You and I... are breaking up!" she said angrily.

"That's what I thought you said." Fonz said. "Well if you don't want to marry me, then I guess I'll have to force you!" he yelled.

"Over Psyche's dead body!" Crystal yelled.

Psyche gave Crystal a concerned look. "Really, Crystal? Really?"

"Take back what you said, Water! NOW!" Fonz ordered.

"No! I'm tired of you telling me what to do! I'm not your toy! I'm not your slave! I was your marefriend! Not anymore though. I should've known better then to listen to you!" Water yelled at him. She then looked at me and said, "And I should've listened to my brother!"

"Yeah, you should've." I said as I was still hurt on the ground.

“But Water, you need me. Without me, you’ll be alone forever! Nopony else will ever love you!” Fonz yelled.

“If that’s the way it’s going to be, then so it shall be. I’d rather be alone than hurt!” Water said.

"If that's how it's gonna be, then so be it!" Fonz yelled at her. Fonz fired a laser blast at her but then Water activated her horn and used a shield made of Water to protect herself. Water started walking towards Fonz, glaring at him. Fonz continued firing at her, but started to get nervous.

"Wow... that mare... is amazin’." Aqua said. Fonz stopped firing as he reached the wall and got really nervous. Then Water's horn started to glow. "Time to put out the fire!” she yelled as suddenly water bursts out of her horn. So much water came out of her horn, it was like a huge wave, and it splashes all over Fonz. Fonz started coughing and spitting. Water continued to fire water at him for a few seconds, and then she gave it a rest. Fonz was laying on the ground, all wet, and continued coughing and spitting water out of his mouth. Water walked towards me and gave me her hoof. I smiled and let her take it, and she helped me up. We both walked towards Fonz with angry looks on our faces.

"Lawl, you’re all wet.” I said to Fonz.

"Listen, buddy!" Water said putting her hoof on Fonz's chest. "This is our town! Ponyville is not a town for jerks. This is a peaceful town, filled with peaceful ponies that wish to be in peace!"

"Try saying that, 3x fast.” Crystal teased as she elbowed Psyche.

"So if you know what's good for you, you'd leave town, and... never come back." Water said to him with tears in her eyes.

"And tell your friend the doctor that if he ever sends others to do his biddings, we'd be willing to challenge them. Until then, he's such a chicken for not just facing me himself." I said.

"Do we make ourselves clear?" Water asked him. "Because, if you ever come back, you'll be dealing with all of us. Not just Flare and I." Fonz remained silent. "DO WE MAKE OURSELVES CLEAR?!" she yelled at him.

"Yes, ma'am! I hear you loud and clear. I'm sorry for the trouble and I promise I'll never come back!" Fonz said as he stood up in fear.

I then leaned over to Fonz and whispered to him, "Now this is the part where you run away." Fonz ran into my trailer, got his bags, and ran out of town, screaming like a little girl, and that was the end of Fonz Punkskull and his abusing. There could be no greater disappointment than a pony who thinks that he or she is the top of their relationship.

"Wow Water, that was amazing." Aqua said to her.

"Yeah, I'll say! Way to stand up to that jerk!" Psyche said impressively.

"Thanks!" Water said to them.

"Ah got the whole thing." Engie said as he turned off his video camera.

"You can edit that right?" Crystal asked him.

"Sure can!" Engie said.

"Yeah, I agree. Well done, Water. Well done!" Blaze said.

"Thank you!" Water said. Then she turned towards me.

"Look Water, I have ketchup coming out of my nose!" I said and laughed.

Water chuckled. "I see, bro. I see." Then Water had a sad look on her face and started to tear up again.

"What's wrong, sis?" I asked.

"Flarey, I'm so sorry. I didn't know Fonz was such a jerk. I thought he just had a bad temper, but it turned out he was only using me." Water said as she looked down and began to weep. “All this time… who could ever love a pony like me?”

"Hey, Water. It's not your fault." I said holding her chin. "I should've been there for you when you needed me most. I should've called you more and gave you advise before you started a relationship. I was so caught up in my shop, and the Noble Six, I just seem to forget who was there for me back at home. That one pony who knew how I felt. That one pony that always cuddled me every time I was sad. The old Mama Fluttershy. You're my sister, and I less then three you so much, Water. You'll always be my sister." Water smiled, and then she gave me a big hug. I hugged her back.

"Awwww." Crystal said with tears in her eyes. “Such a happy moment.”

"Shut up! I don't like it when ponies say 'awww' while I'm having a moment." I complained.

"Sorry." She said.

“But Flare…. without Fonz, I’m single again.” Water said.

“Water… you were always single.” I said.

“How does that help me?” she asked.

“You’ll find the right pony one day, I guarantee it.” I said.

“But what about you, Flare?” Water asked. “Don’t you want to be in a relationship?”

“Someday I will, but for now, I’d rather just stick to my friends and my work.” I said. “But the real question is this… what are you going to do? I won’t stand in your way. The choice is yours and yours alone.”

"Well, my traveling is done. I have nowhere else to go. My budget is limited, and I have no idea what to do now.” Water said.

“Stay with me, Water. Not only do you need me, I need you.” I said. “I have all my friends here, but what’s the use of all that when I can’t have my family? The family, one of the first friends you have ever.”

“I hope I won’t be too much for you, bro.” Water said.

“Trust me; it gets lonely when it’s just me and the fish. Stay in my guest bedroom, and stay for as long as you want.” I offered.

“Flare, you are the best brother a mare can ever have.” She said as she hugged me again. Just then, my walkie talkie starts ringing.

"This is Flare, over." I said in the walkie talkie.

"What the hay, Flare?!" Scootaloo yelled.

"What the hay what, over?" I asked.

"Shut up! We've been washing dishes for Taco Shack, all because of your personal problem!" she yelled.

"Because of what, over?" I asked.

"You owe us big time! I hope you're happy!" Scootaloo yelled in the walkie talkie.

"Hope you're happy what, Scoots, over?" I asked. Just then Scootaloo was standing right there next to me and she threw the walkie talkie on my head. “OW!”

"OVER!" she yelled.

Crystal was playing Catsgroove again on her radio while my eye lids were rolling around my sockets again. "Hey, I see colorful rainbows." I said.

"Oh dear Luna, he's delusional!" Aqua said.

"I don't think he is. Look!" Blaze said pointing at the aurora borealis from the Crystal Empire, after Spike and Cadance saved the day over there, since this takes place about the same time as then. We all looked and saw the pretty colors. I put my arm around Water and just watched the show. When the Mane Six and Spike got back, they told me all about their adventure, and I told them about mine, but of course they couldn't stay along, because of Twilight's test.

So, Water is now living with me. I mean, yeah, it is weird for siblings to live with each other at a full-grown age, but we needed each other. Later that night, Water and I went into our individual bedrooms, laid down, turned off the lights and were about to go to sleep, but before we did, Water started talking to me through the wall. “Hey, Flare?”

“Yeah, Water?” I asked.

“If you could be any animal in the whole world, what animal would you be?” she asked.

“A cat, I think I choose cat.” I said.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I like living inside and sleep on couches.” I said. “Most ponies let their cats live inside and sleep on couches.”

“How about a dog? Ponies let dogs live inside and sleep on couches.” Water pointed out.

“I don’t like dogs.” I said. “I wouldn’t wanna go around being afraid of myself.”

“Good point.” Water agreed.

“Why? What animal would be if you can pick one in the whole world?” I asked.

“I was gonna say monkey, but you make a good point about the couch.” Water said. I nodded in agreement. After a few moments of silence, Water said, “Well, good night, Flare.”

“Good night, Water.” I said as we both went to sleep.

With Crème on Top

View Online

So it's been a week since the last chapter. My sister Water is so far happy living with me, but… when is she gonna get a job? Anyways, I was alone in my trailer right now, and it was my one of my favorite time of the mornings once again.

“NO! Don’t lie to them, narrator!” I yelled. “This is the worst part of the morning! Exercising! Exercise, oh exercise!” I said in a high-pitched voice. “Well here we go.” So I started to do jumping jacks but since I have a lot of weight on the front part of my body, it was tough standing on my hind-legs. “Ugh! Why does a unicorn have to exercise? Isn’t that an earth pony job? For Wizard of Hope’s sake, even Spike can do better than me!”

"Does he know he could've used his video game systems to exercise instead?" my fish Dorthey asked.

"He'll find out soon enough, Dorthey. He'll find out soon enough." Yoyo said.

So I finished my body exercises and I then I started doing my emotion exercises. "Happy face. Sad face." I said doing the impressions at the same time. "Angry face. Surprised face. Forty Five degree angle mouth face. Lion face. Confused face. Smiley face. Scared face. All the faces at the same time!” I can’t really explain that. In fact, if I did, I think zero would be divided by.

"How about 'feed me' face?" Yoyo asked.

"That's your face, Yoyo." Piddles said.

"No, this is my face, see? Whiskers." Yoyo said.

Just then, Spike comes over to my trailer for a visit. “Hey, Flare!”

"Sup brah?" I asked giving him a bro-hoof.

"Not much, what's going on with you?" he asked.

"Just doing my daily exercises." I said. "I'm about to do my spell tests, I'll need some help on it.”

"Oh, I don't like spelling tests, man." he said.

"No, not spelling tests. I need to test out my magic spells to see if they're working good still." I corrected him.

“You really want to?” Spike asked.

“Twilight says I should practice my spells daily if I am to get better.” I said.

“I thought you said you don’t want to be OP?” I asked.

“I don’t, but Twilight says it’s necessary to practice so I can defend myself for the mysterious doctor’s next move.” I said.

"Oh, alright. How can I help?" Spike asked.

"You can help by sticking in your head in the toilet." I teased.

"Very funny." Spike said.

"Who said I was joking?" I asked. Spike just looked at me confusingly.

"Really, what do you want me to do?" he asked.

"Get me a glass, a target, a poster of Nickleback, and put a trampoline on the door." I instructed him.

"What?" he asked.

"Get me a glass, a target, a-" I said, but Spike interrupts me.

"I heard what you said, but why?" he asked.

"For my tests, now go get 'em." I instructed him.

"Okay, okay." he said with an attitude. So he put a trampoline on the door, got me the glass, the target, and the Nickleback poster.

"Great! Where did you get the Nickleback poster?" I asked.

"In Berry Punch's trash can." he said.

"Alright. First the glass." I said.

"What?" Spike asked.

"Just put the glass up." I instructed him. Spike put up the glass then I used my water squirted spell, but I actually squirted all over Spike's face.

"Hey, hey... Flare!" he complained and started spitting. I stopped my spell before he could drown, if he even could. "What was that?"

"My water squirter spell." I said.

"I thought you were gonna put the water in this glass?" he asked.

"You thought, but that glass is actually for..." I shot a flare inside the glass. "Ooooooooo!" I cried out like they do in Regular Show. "3 points!"

"Oh that's what you wanted the glass for? For your flares?" Spike asked.

"Yo dawg! I heard you like flares! So we have Flare firing flares.” I teased.

"Nice one." Spike said sarcastically. “Hey I could be doing worse right now. I could be picking my next Nightmare Night costume.”

A cutaway shows two kids walking to a mare’s house, one of the foals was a witch and the other was dressed as property tax bill. The witch rings the doorbell and the mare answers it. “Nightmare Night, what a freight, give us something sweet to bite!” the foals said. The mare then gasped and fainted.

“I told you your costume was too scary.” The witch said to the foal dressed as the tax bill. The cutaway ends.

"Alright Spike, now the target." I instructed him. Spike puts the target over his head. "No, aim it towards your stomach."

"Why my stomach?" he asked.

"Just do it." I said.

"I don't see what the big deal is." he said.

"DO IT FILLY!" I yelled.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh!" he said as he places the target on his stomach.

"You better not be firin your big laser." he hoped.

"RAIL BLAST!" I yelled as I used my rail blast spell on him, and he went flying towards the door and hit the trampoline, and I caught him using my levitation spell.

"Nice catch." he said. "You could've at least told me what spell you were doing. I could've sworn you were gonna do the laser blast spell." Then I fired my laser blast spell on a mirror, and it came back for us. Spike screamed and ducked down, and then I activated my Bubble Shield spell, which protected us from the blast. "Wow, dude. Really? You gotta stop doing that." Then I activated my hornsaber and hit Spike on the back of the head with it.

"You just gotta be prepared for anything that goes in your way, brah. You don't know what'll happen." I advised him, hitting him with the saber again.

"Alright, alright, I get it." Spike said with an annoyed tone. "So what about the Nickleback poster?"

"Oh just throw it in the trash." I said.

"But it was already in the trash!" Spike complained.

"Now put it back." I instructed him.

"Sweet Celestia, Flare!" he complained.

"Sweet Luna, Spike!" I teased. So we both went outside and Spike placed the poster back in the trash can. Then my horn started to glow.

"SHOOP DA WHOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!" I yelled as I fired my Shoop Da Whoop at the trash cans. "And that is how you do it!"

"You're crazy, dude!" Spike yelled.

"Hey Spike? You wanna go for a ride on my back?” I asked.

"Sure!" he said.

"Well hop on!" I said. Spike runs towards me and jumps up towards my back, but by the time he hit my back, I activated my Armor Lock. "ARMOR LOCK!" I yelled, but then Spike bounced off and flew towards a bush. I am such a troll! Spike crawled out of the bush and shook the leaves off of him.

"I gotta stop falling for that." he said.

"Yes you do, brah. Yes you do." I agreed.

"So what was I gonna say to you?" Spike asked.

"You were gonna ask me to take all your money." I said.

"Yes-wait, no!" he yelled angrily. I started to chuckle. “Yeah, keep laughing.”

"With pleasure!" I said and continued.

"I was gonna tell you that I got this new game in the mail." he said. I wasn't really paying attention because I saw a shadow, but once I looked at it, it disappeared. Spike was blabbering on about this new game he got, but I was only thinking about that shadow. I wasn't even interested in what he had to say anyway. "Bro, are you listening to me?" he asked.

"Sure, Spike." I said, looking back at him. "That sounds like an interesting game. I might wanna try it myself one day."

Spike gave me a confused look. "B-but... this is Oblivion, you have this game."

"Yeah, I heard you.” I said.

"You weren't paying attention to me, were you?" he asked.

"Why would I pay my hard-earned money for attention?" I asked.

"You're hopeless." Spike complained, giving himself a facehoof. “Anyways, I’m just going to go ask Engie if he wants to play this.”

“Alright you have fun with that, bro!” I said.

“Yeah, right, fun.” Spike mumbled to himself as he walked away.

“Though I don’t recommend Morrowind! It doesn’t even tell you where you need to go! Oblivion is the perfect first game!” I yelled out. “Well then,” I said to myself. “To grab my accordion and play a little polka because the power of polka- oh… right. I miss the power of polka. I hope someday I can get a replacement accordion.”

When Spike walked off, I finished what I needed to do and prepared myself for work, but what got me thinking was that strange shadow I saw earlier. It was weird.

A couple of hours went by, and it was time for work. So I trotted on down to my shop and started... how you say it? WOOOOORKING! Duh! As I was working, my friend Adventure Blade comes in! “Flaaaaaaaaaaaaare!” he said excitedly.

“KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” I said excitedly. “How’s it going, brah?”

“Nothing.” He said.

“Nothing?” I asked.

“No.” He said.

“Nothing at all?” I asked.

“No.” he said.

“Oh.” I said.

“Yeah.” He said.

“C’mon do you have anything interesting to say?” I asked.

“Well… I’m just waiting on the new Smash game.” Keith said.

“Which one?” I asked.

“The new one.” Keith said.

“Yeah but which new one?” I asked.

“There’s only one new one, dude.” He informed me.

“I know, but which one?” I asked.

“The new one.” He said again. I just glared at him, and he just smiled at me.

“What do you want, dude?” I asked.

“Pizza.” Keith said.

“What kind of pizza?” I asked.

“The kind you sell.” He said.

“Can you be more pacific, brah?” I asked.

“Why would I talk about an ocean?” Keith asked.

“I can’t say the word, alright?! Quit getting on my case!” I yelled at him.

“Ok.” He said.

“You’re a jerk.” I said.

“Oh.” He said.

“Yeah.” I said. Just then, I saw the strange shadow again outside my shop.

"What are you looking at?” Keith asked.

"I saw some weird shadow outside." I answered. "But I think I saw that shadow before."

"Ok.” Keith said.

"I think somepony is stalking me.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

"I have to find out what going on. This could be another trickey of that mysterious doctor.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“I mean, I really feel disturbed right now but that stalking. Feels like that Geico money with the googly eyes all over again.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

"I haven’t seen that commercial in years though, which is good. That money kinda scares me. It looks like it’s staring directly into my soul!” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“Seriously, Keith? Do you have ANY better response than ‘ok’?” I asked.

“No.” he said.

“Oh.” I said.

“Sorry.” He said.

“Whatever.” I said.

“Sorry to be of bother. The only thing I’m good at is removing pants.” Keith said.

“That was the most interesting thing I’ve ever heard you say.” I said.

“Oh… ok.” He said.

So all day I've been working; I’ve been keeping an eye on that shadow that I keep seeing, but I can't leave my post until my lunch break. My lunch break came and I was just about to head out, like a baby. I saw the shadow outside and I had to get a closer look, but before I was able to, my sister Water shows up. “HEY BRO!” she said excitedly.

“Whoa! Water? You startled me.” I said as I was catching my breath over the excitement.

“I know; that was the point.” Water said.

“What do you want?” I asked. “I’m kinda busy. There’s a shadow out there that’s-

“Don’t bore me with your chatter, Flarey. I need some information real quick.” Water said as she held up a notepad with a pen.

“Ok, but real quick.” I said.

“When was the date you first moved into Ponyville?” Water asked.

“March 29th, 2012. You’ll see that date on the very bottom of my Facebook page.” I said. Seriously, I do have a Facebook page – Flare Gun (Friendship is Epic). I post stuff as much as I could. I got over 3k likes. How about dropping by one day to say hi? Anyways, she wrote down my answer on her notepad.

“Ok, and… when is Blaze’s birthday?” Water asked.

“March 25th, 1983.” I said.

“Wow, you just missed his birthday when you moved here, huh?” Water asked as she writes my answer on her pad.

“Blaze wasn’t living here by then.” I said.

“Ok, and after the robotic Trixie came into town to compete in the Unicorn Games, who broke their hoof?” Water asked.

“Lyra.” I said. “Wait a minute… WAIT A MINUTE! Are you trying to hack the parental code on my TV?!”

“Uhh… no.” Water lied.

“Don’t lie to me, Water.” I said angrily at her.

“Flare, since when did you get a voice narrating everything that’s going on?” Water asked.

“Since just before I moved into Ponyville.” I said.

“Ah thank you! That was the last question!” Water said as she writes that answer down on her pad and runs off. I was pretty annoyed by that interference. Now Water’s going to be going onto the forbidden channels on my TV. Sigh. Well, that ain’t so bad. At least I might still have time to locate-

“Hey bossman, break’s over.” Bonnie said to me. “I need some help with a customer. He keeps saying I gave him a large pizza when he ordered a medium. He doesn’t realize that our medium is our large, our large is our huge, our huge is our super, and our super is our MEGA.” I guess the mysterious shadow will have to wait. I’ll have to locate it during my 3:00 break. Oh, no, wait… today is Friday, which means the Nashorse is having its qualifying. I’ll have to wait until my dinner break. Yeah, I do have a lot of breaks, don’t I? Luckily for me, I didn’t have to wait that long. Somepony ordered a pizza to be delivered and Derpy wasn’t around to deliver it, so I offered to do it myself.

"This is weird, I never seen anything like this before." I said to myself. "Engie says the boss in TF2 Nightmare Night special is actually an NPC? Wow, I didn't know TF2 had NPCs in them." I whistled. "Now that's something you don't see every day. Valve really knows how to make their fans happy, except they can't count to 3. Now, what was I saying? Oh right, I might be right, I think I’m being watched." I looked behind me, but there was nopony there. I continued walking. "I have the feeling this doctor character might be responsible for this. On the other hoof, maybe a shy fan. That would be possum grade awesome, wouldn't it? But I can't take any chances. If they wanna see me, they're going to have to bump into me themselves." Then out of nowhere, I jinxed it. I bumped into a bright pink pony, with a wavy white mane, and eyes were pretty similar to Fluttershy’s. We were both laying on the ground across from each other. Once she came to her senses, she stood up and walked towards me.

"Oh, sorry about that." she said.

"No problemo." I said. Once I started coming back to my senses, I had a better look at her. “You have the same eyes as Mama Fluttershy.”

"Pardon me?" the pony asked.

"What?” I asked.

"Need a hand?" she asked me with her hoof out.

"Yes, actually. All I have is hooves, I need hands. Heh.” I teased.

"Lawl! That was funny!" she said.

"Lawl, it was, I have to… wait... what did you say?" I asked with a shocking look on my face.

"I said that was funny.” The pony said.

“Before that.” I said.

“Need a hand?” the pony asked.

“No, in the middle.” I said.

“I didn’t say anything between those to.” The pony said as she lifted my up. I saw her flank tattoo (yeah, the first thing I see of a mare is looking at her behind. Wow, did you just take me seriously?) it looked like three blue butterflies. “Mama Fluttershy has that flank tattoo as well. You tend to animals?”

“I live among them.” The pony said. “I am a wild girl.”

“Born to be wild, huh? Just like in the song!” I said.

“Lawl, right.” The pony said as she chuckled a bit.

“There! You said it again!” I pointed out.

“Say what? Live among them?” the pony asked.

“Don’t pretend you’re not saying that. I know you said something leet speak. I used to do it all the time. Not as much as I used to though because I’m starting to get tired of it.” I said.

“Hey, Flare!” Spike waved as he walked by.

“Hey, Spike!” I looked over and waved back, and then when I turned back, “It’s ok, I don’t mind the leet speak, I can- wait… where did she go?” I looked around and she was gone. I observed the whole area and I didn’t see her anywhere. This felt pretty weird. Why would a pony just come out of nowhere and bump into me? You know, I have the feeling we’re gonna end up together. I mean think about it! Every time a boy and a girl bump into eachother, they end up getting married in the end, but that’s only my theory. Besides, like I said, I’m not in the mood for relationships at this time.

Later that night, I met up with my friends, the Noble Six came over to my shop for dinner. I was just serving them their usual. “Ok, Engie, a garlic knot appetizer with cheese dip.” I said as I served Engie his meal first. “I also got you some ranch, I think you’ll like it, it’s pretty… sassy.”

“Much obliged, partner.” Engie said.

“And for Crystal, two fried eggplant pizzas with peppermint leaves and cheesy crusts, perfect for your ‘diet’ that you keep speaking of.” I said as I served Crystal her meal next.

“Well, snap. This smells delicious, Flare.” Crystal said. “And since when did I say I was on a diet?”

“Didn’t ya say ya wanted to lose weight?” Engie asked.

“No I said I was losing my will to wait. This food took an awfully long time coming.” Crystal said.

“Sorry, it’s just some pony I met earlier today.” I said. “This particular pony-“

“Aren’t you going to serve the rest of us?” Psyche complained.

”My bad, Psyche.” I said as I was about to serve his meal. “Now a tri-star lunar seasoning pasta with angel-hair noodles, low-fat soy cheese, so no unexpected surprises from your lactose intolerance.”

“Looks delicious, Flare!” Psyche said as he tastes some of his pasta. “Mmm! My tastebuds feel like they’re in heaven with this angel-hair pasta.”

“Umm… yeah… I’m glad you like it.” I said nervously as I find a balding angel sticking her head out of my office. “Get back in there!” I whispered angrily to the angel, and so she did.

“And for Aqua, a bowl of peppermint leaf noodle soup with croutons and Everfree spike leaf spices.” I said as I serve Aqua his meal.

“No peanuts, right?” Aqua asked.

”No. Who puts peanuts in soup?” I asked.

“There are some that do. I don’t want to get booby trapped again. Wind Racer nearly killed me once by doing something like that.” Aqua said.

And finally, a large maple tree sausage pizza with hay bacon and tomatoes with pepperoni seasoning for Blaze.” I said as I gave Blaze his food. “I hope you can understand that despite your dragon-like diet, I do not sell meat. I doubt anypony in town does.”

“Its fine, man.” Blaze said.

“I hope you all are satisfied.” I said.

“Wait, Flare.” Blaze stopped me. “Chedder cheese, not mozzarella?”

“Yes.” I said.

“Hot sauce, not regular?” he asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“Timberwoof splinter seasonings?” he asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“Baked to 412 degrees?” he asked.

”Yes.” I said.

“You understand why I’m doing this?” he asked.

“I do.” I nodded.

“That’ll be all.” Blaze said as he gave me a snarky grin.

“Wait, Flare.” Aqua stopped me.

“Oh c’mon, Aqua, I don’t expect you to complain about the details of your food to!” I complained.

”Uhhh… no, I wasn’t going to say anything like that.” Aqua corrected me.

“Oh… sorry, brah. What do you need?” I asked.

“Ya were sayin’ something about a mare?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah, word on the street is you found a new mare.” Crystal said as she winked at me.

“Which street told you?!” I asked angrily. “The roads should learn to mind their own businesses! Stupid streets!”

”What’s goin’ on, partner? Who’s this mare?” Engie asked. “You two hittin’ it off?”

“I don’t even know who this is mare is! I mean she has the eyes and a similar flank tattoo of Mama Fluttershy, but the color of Pinkie Pie, and that attitude… seems like AppleJack attitude, or maybe Rainbow, but still… doesn’t seem quite right. I don’t even know her name.” I explained.

“Flare, if there’s anything I learned with my relationship with Thundy…” Crystal started. We were all waiting for her to say something after that, but she didn’t.

“If you learned anything with your relationship with Thundy what?” I asked.

“What? Oh no, that’s it.” Crystal said.

“Can ya explain a little more about this pony, mate?” Aqua asked.

“Hmm… well… she’s pink-“ I started.

“PINKIE PIE!” Crystal yelled.

“No.” I said. “So she’s pink-“

“FLUTTERSHY!” Crystal yelled.

I just glared at her. “No.” I said.

“She’s pink-“ I said again.

“MR. MONOPLY!” Crystal yelled.

“He’s not even pink!” I yelled back.

“Yeah, and that’s the only thing wrong with that answer.” Psyche said sarcastically.

“So she’s pink, a pegasus, blue butterflies as a flank tattoo, and a white mane like either an old lady or a young anime girl.” I explained.

“Butterflies, like Fluttershy?” Engie asked.

“Yeah she claims to be ‘among the wild’. I have no idea what that means.” I said.

“She sounds like a biker chick.” Crystal said.

“Yeah, either that or a rocker.” Engie said.

“I don’t think she’s any of those things.” I said. “I think she might be a stray.”

“Did she look like a stray?” Aqua asked.

“Not really. She looked like an ordinary pony.” I said.

“Maybe you should go talk to her, man. Get to know her a bit.” Blaze suggested. “She may not be that random strange mare that you think is spying on you.”

“I’m just hoping this mare isn’t the mysterious doctor’s trickery.” I said.

“Hey if things don’t go well with her-“ Engie started.

“No, Engie, don’t do the ‘dibs’ thing again.” Psyche asked. “You already called dibs on Flare’s sister.”

“Ah was just gonna say…” Engie was silent for a moment. “Yeah, ah was gonna call dibs. Ah mean, it may not happen. Flare looks like he might score her.”

“I’m not going to score her, Engie. I’m not interested in relationships right now.” I said.

“Don’t wait too long, mate. If ya take too long to get into a relationship, ya may never find one.” Aqua said.

“Why aren’t you in one?” I asked.

“I have my reasons.” Aqua said.

“Aqua, don’t give me relationship advice if you never been in one, alright?” I instructed him.

“Just trying to help, mate.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, mate; oi, wrestling kangaroos, P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney, we ride kangaroos all the way the theater and give it a go ya mug! Thanks for standing still!” Crystal teased Aqua in an Australian accent.

“I’m not even Australian, Crystal.” Aqua corrected her.

“I think we’re getting a bit off topic.” Psyche said.

“Look, man, if you want to get to know this mare, just go and talk to her. She may be able to tell you everything she knows.” Blaze explained. “She could just be a little shy is all.”

“You mean like Joe the Manhack and Lisa the Shield Scanner?” I asked.

“Exactly!” Blaze said.

“Wait, wait, wait… who’s Joe the Manhack and Lisa the Shield Scanner?” Crystal asked.

“They’re from Scanner-Life.” I said. Crystal still didn’t get it. “Scanner-Life, that Half-Life machinima on YouTube. It’s about Combine machines and troops going on adventures.” I explained. Crystal still didn’t follow. “It’s made by MegaSean45.” I added.

“Who?” Crystal asked.

“You know what? Nevermind.” I said.

“I heard the voice actor of Colonel Malcom Urmom was pretty lazy to get the voice files the creator needed for part 35.” Psyche chuckled. “Some people, huh?”

Blaze and Engie both glared at Psyche. “Perhaps he’s just too busy with other work and doesn’t want to be a burden.”

“Yeah, Psyche. Don’t go teasin’ Brony with the Bowtie. He’s a good person!” Engie said angrily at him.

“Well we’re all entitled to our own opinions.” Psyche said. “For example, I find MegaSean45 to be dumb.”

“Yeah I agree.” Crystal nodded.

“EXCUSE ME?!” I yelled at them. “I’ll have you know that MegaSean45 is a good guy! He was put down on his past work but he never gave up, and he’s a nice guy!”

“I’m not disagreeing. Of course MegaSean45 is a nice guy.” Psyche said.

“Yeah but why does he bother making things that not many people like or know that exists?” Crystal asked.

“Maybe it’s because he wants to please the amount of fans he has currently.” I mumbled angrily.

“Why are you two bein’ so rude?” Engie asked. “If it weren’t for him, none of us would be here!”

“Engie, don’t talk nonsense, because that makes zero sense whatsoever.” Psyche said.

“Ya know, I kinda liked his Combine Rampage series.” Engie said.

“Ok… umm… I think we should stop now because we’re startin’ to have narrative contradiction.” Aqua pointed out as the pizza shop started to look all weird with a bunch of random script papers melted onto the walls and some tables and chairs started to melt onto the floor.

“You’re right, we should stop talking. I’ll just go find this pony.” I said. I am terribly sorry about that. I got so caught up in talking about my creator that I started to lose track of the story itself. Let’s just continue on, and pretend that this conversation never happened. Although, I wouldn’t mind if you went to go watch scanner-LIFE ON YOUTUBE WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE! Oh dang, I did it again! Let’s continue before the narrative contradiction gets any worse! See, this the reason why cartoon characters shouldn’t break the fourth wall so many times at once.

Later that day, I went out into town to look for the mysterious pony, but ever since I met her face-to-face she hasn’t been spying on me any longer. I found it pretty strange, but then it………. Hit me………. I think I saw this shadow before in my life. Even since before I moved to Ponyville, I felt that I was being watched. I mean, I know ponies tried to avoid me back at Mareami but every time I’m alone, I don’t always feel alone. There was once a time that I was dumped into a dumpster from my primary school bully before picture day, and at first I thought I was a goner. I went to the locker rooms to take a shower, but there was nothing I can do with my outfit since it was ruined, but while I was in the shower, I saw a mysterious shadow going through my locker and when I got there, my outfit was sparkly clean; my picture day was saved.

This wasn’t the only time this happened. It was a rainy day and I was just about to head to the bus stop so I can go home from school, but my primary school bully ruined my umbrella so I thought I was gonna get soaken wet, but that was until I found an umbrella lying on a bench in the hallway. I was going to turn it into lost and found, but I saw a note on it with my name. Somepony wanted me to have this umbrella, which was when I saw that mysterious shadow again just outside the school’s front door. Today wasn’t the first time I met this mare- OW! Took you a while to show up, ‘then hit me cinder block’. Anyways…. Ow…. I hope I don’t get a concussion. So this wasn’t the first time I met this mare. She’s a guardian angel, so I had to find her and find out the truth.

So I searched Ponyville, and I searched and searched and searched and searched, but this pony wasn’t anywhere to be found. So she can find me easily, but it’s difficult for me to find her. How is that fair? Seriously, I feel like the stupid one here. I don’t understand this whatsoever. I mean, I saw Derpy multiple times and she’s not always easy to find. I found Waldo, I found Carmen Sandiego, I found a little bit of the narrative contradiction damage that I caused earlier, but finding this pony extremely unlikely! I cannot find her! Now she decides to avoid me just because I finally met her face to face. Nightfall came, and it was a new moon out tonight. Thank you, Luna! Thank you for making it so dark that I cannot even find this pony whatsoever! It was pitch black out, and I don’t want any complaints of me shooting flares around town just so I can see well because I know ponies are trying to sleep at this time. I was outside by myself and it was almost midnight. Why did I bother staying out here this long? I could’ve used this time making a newspaper sculpture with Aqua! I know I would’ve been bored to death but Aqua and I were rarely alone together, like… at all!

So as I was walking home, I heard a strange noise coming from the alleyway nearby, which is strange because normally houses aren’t close together in this town. You know, out of all the towns I’ve been in, this one is the only one without any apartment complexes. I was raised in an apartment back in Mareami so I’m kinda used to seeing them around. So while I was sneaking over to the alley, I saw a tin can roll out. I was feeling a little nervous and a little foolish because why am I looking through an alleyway in the dark to observe a strange noise? That is something I SHOULD NOT be doing! To those of you who are reading this, don’t copy my bad influence; you should just walk away. Luckily for me, there wasn’t any thugs in the alley, it was just a ‘gangsta’ pony walking; a pony with a boombox on his head, a sideways hat, and his pants are halfway down his waist revealing his heart boxers.

“Brah, you are not a ‘gangster’.” I said. “If you wear a suit, have a wife that sounds like Fran from the Nanny, and sound Italian, then that’s a true gangster. Not….. whatever this is. So pull up your pants!” Heh, yeah, says the pony that doesn’t even wear any. “Oh hush.” But before I can walk off, I saw the shadow run by. “HEY, YOU!” I yelled.

“Hey shush! I’m trying to sleep here!” Merry May complained from her house window and her face was covered in that mud stuff.

“Sorry, Merry May.” I said. “Why is she such an underrated pony?” So quietly, I began to chase the shadow through the streets of Ponyville. I didn’t want to make so much noise so I tip-hooved as I chased that mare. The mare was trying to slow me down though by dumping over trash bins, but they didn’t stop me, because… hear me out, I know a certain trick that ponies who dump trash bins to stop ponies from following them don’t know about. Know what it is? Jumping! I can jump. How high? Not very, but decent enough. After a while of chasing, I eventually lost her. I didn’t get it though, I just saw her, and she vanished. Oh! But wait! I forget, she’s a Pegasus; she can fly! Which means… I shot my laser blast in the air above me but the only thing that started crashing was a Goodyear blimp. I got so embarrassed, so I just snuck out of there and began to head home. Forget about the shadow, I’m done for the night. If I see the shadow again, forget it, I’m turning in for the night, but as luck would have it, the shadow was standing beside my trailer. I didn’t want to bother with her, which got her a bit concerned.

“There’s no use running, sista. I’m done chasing you for the night. I’m tired. If you’re too shy to face me in person, that’s your problem not mine.” I said.

“Oh but it’s your problem too, bro.” the pony said.

“And how is that?” I asked.

“I cannot say.” The pony said.

“So if you cannot tell me why it’s my problem, why bother telling me it’s my problem?” I asked.

“Umm…” the pony thought, still hiding in the shadows. “I really didn’t think that one through.”

“You and Aqua both,” I said, “he did the exact same thing when he wanted to save the Everfree Forest from a fire. He wanted me to tell my friends that he went to… TH-THE OFFICE!” I said in an exaggerated tone as I waved my hoof across the front of my body. The pony chuckled. “Why are you lawling?”

“Because you’re funny. You’ve always been funny.” The pony said.

“Well thank you, I always considered myself to be… wait, hang on,” I stopped myself, “how do you know how long I was funny for? Is it true, missy? Have you been spying on me my whole life?” The pony didn’t say anything. “You still there?”

“No, I’m gone.” She teased.

“Oh… ok then.” I said. “I guess I’ll just head inside.”

“How do you feel about your life right now?” the mare asked.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“How do you feel about your life right now?” the mare asked.

“I’m no logical pony, but I don’t think life has a physical form so I have no idea what it feels like.” I corrected her.

The mare chuckles again. “I meant are you happy with your life?”

“Happy enough.” I said. “What’s this about, sista? Why are you spying on me? I’m not mad, I’m not upset, I’m just concerned. Please, come in… tell me the truth.” I instructed her. It took some time, but she eventually walked out of the shadows and I invited the mare inside and we took a seat at my lounge.

“You have a very nice place here, Flare Gun.” The mare said as she was taking a seat on the couch.

“I’m glad you like!” I nodded. “Also, you’re in my spot.”

“Huh? Oh sorry.” The mare said as she moved one seat to the left.

“Would you like some iced tea?” I asked.

“Is it freshly brewed, not in a bottle?” she asked.

“Affirmative!” I said.

“Then I would like an iced tea.” She said. I gave her a glass and I sat down next to her.

“Ok first off, what’s your name?” I asked.

“My name is Crèmepop.” She said.

“Nice to meet you, Crèmepop!” I said as with my hoof out.

“Nice to be met!” Crème teased as she shook my hoof.

“A mare with a sense of humor! I like it!” I nodded.

Crème chuckles. “Not many do though.”

“Well the only way that would be possible is if you lived in Mareami.” I said as I took a sip of my tea.

“I did live in Mareami.” Crème corrected me.

“Well then, that does explain a lot.” I nodded.

“Yep!” she said.

“So why did you stalk me then, Crème?” I asked.

“Isn’t stalking kind of strong?” Crème asked.

“I dunno, you tell me. Are you fit?” I asked.

“No, I mean is the word ‘stalking’ kind of a strong word?” Crème asked.

“I dunno, is it fit?” I asked.

Crème chuckled again. “You never seize to make me laugh, Flare Gun.”

“So you’re not fit right?” I asked.

“I dunno, you tell me. Wanna hoof-wrestle?” Crème asked.

“Nah, I’m tired.” I said.

“Hi tired, I’m Crème!” she teased with her hoof out.

I shook her hoof and laughed along. “So anyways, answer the question. Why do you always go G-Man on me?”

“Ok if you want my honest answer, I’ll tell you.” Crème started. “I am different.”

“Well that’s gotta be the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard.” I said. Crème gave me a ‘seriously’ look and I just smiled. “Don’t take me seriously, Crèmepop, I’m not like.

“I don’t mind. I don’t mind one bit because I see you as an idol.” Crème said.

“You do?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’ve been through what you’ve been through, Flare. Bullies in Mareami, getting put down for just being myself. I could never take it.” Crème explained. “It was just so difficult for me. I was on the verge of giving up everything. Get away from everypony and just be alone in the woods, until I saw you, the one pony that went through the same problems I have, and you didn’t seem to mind it that much. You just teased your bullies and made them angrier.”

“How does that make you idolize me?” I asked. “In some ways that is something you should avoid doing.”

“You were immune to it all.” Crème said.

“Not really, I held it in, but with all the ignoring I’ve been doing, I’ve been getting left alone a little more.” I said. “If you show your enemies that you have no mercy, they have no reason to pick on you anymore. The main reasons that bullies are bullies is because they’re bullied themselves, at least on the inside, or they’re jealous. The only times I showed weakness the most is betrayal.”

“Well… I did what you did, but it wasn’t that effective. Still getting picked on myself. I didn’t want you to suffer the same ways I have, so I helped you dodged bullets.” Crème said. “Back at that picture day when you were dumped into the dumpster and had your outfit ruined, I bought you another outfit. I only had a little time to do so, so I had to act fast. Same goes to that rainy day when your umbrella broke, I…. I gave you mine. Now I must admit, I was sick the next day, but it was all worth it.”

“Oh no wonder the umbrella was pink and had Pokemons on it.” I said.

“Sorry, I’m pretty sure the pink coloring was pretty embarrassing.” Crème said.

“No, it wasn’t. I like pink! Real stallions wear pink! I have a T-shirt that says that.” I said.

“So you weren’t embarrassed about having an umbrella like that?” Crème asked.

“Well I didn’t say I wasn’t embarrassed at all. The Pokemon on the umbrella were from the new generation. I didn’t like that.” I said.

“Oh, I see.” Crème nodded.

“Wait, so you got yourself sick in the rain just so I wouldn’t have to suffer through it?” I asked.

“You looked like you were suffering me than I.” Crème said.

“Oh Crème… I… that is so sad.” I said upsettingly. “That is more sad that anti-smoking commercials.”

A cutaway shows a pony that- “NO!” I yelled. “NO! DON’T YOU DARE! I always hated those commercials! I literary turn off the TV AND unplug it just to avoid seeing those commercials! They are so sad and I hate watching them. Don’t you dare show a cutaway gag have that! Don’t you dare!” Ok fine, I’ll do another cutaway gag. Umm… I got nothing right now. Here, how about this? Here’s a Hearth’s Warming tree made of text.

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I know it’s a little too early to be thinking of Hearth’s Warming since it’s October, but at least I’m not posting this in September. Did you know Kmart always starts selling trees in September? C’moooooooooon! Nightmare Night is first! Sell Nightmare Night stuff! Why would stores be selling holiday stuff before Nightmare Night? That is so stupid! November should be the earliest time to be selling the holiday stuff. Ok back to the story.

“So Crème, we’ve met before and you didn’t bother seeing me in person. Why not? We could’ve been great friends!” I asked.

“I was too nervous. I thought that meeting you would get both of our bullies to work together against us.” Crème thought.

“But Crèmepoop, don’t you se-“ just then I began to laugh. Crème began to laugh along. We were laughing so hard we could’ve breathe. “Did you- did you… HA HA HAAAA! Did you hear what I just called you?!”

“I KNOW!” Crème yelled and kept laughing.

“I called you Crèmepoop… HA HA HA!” I laughed. We continued laughing for several seconds, but then we began to calm down. “Ok, deep breaths… deep breaths. Ok… you good?”

“Yeah, I’m goo-“ Crème said but then she began laughing again. I started laughing along once again. “Stop laughing! You’re making me laugh!”

“I’m sorry!” Crème yelled.

So once I let that all out of my system I finally asked her the question. “Ok… but Crèmepop don’t you-“ we both started laughing again. I really couldn’t get the name Crèmepoop out of my head. “I can’t do it! I can’t stop thinking about that name!”

“Me neither!” Crème said.

“Ok, Crème, I think… I think we should take a moment to look at sad animals on YouTube. That’ll calm our laughter.” I suggested.

“Ok.” Crème agreed. I really didn’t want to get into detail with that sad animal video we watched was pretty effective. I may not like dogs, but I hate seeing them not be adopted, the best I can do is offer donations and hope for the best at those shelters. At least they’ll be treated. Phew… ok. After seeing that, and after writing a check to the nearest animal shelter, which was Fluttershy’s cottage, our nerves were finally calm and it was safe for us to talk without laughing.

“So Crèmepop… I feel terrible. Why did you do so much for me in the past and yet you don’t even know me?” I asked.

“It felt that it was something I needed to do.” Crème said. “Other ponies that are suffering feels much worse than me suffering myself.”

“Well thank you, Crème. I feel that I owe you now.” I said.

“You don’t owe me anything.” Crème said.

“Yes I do, you helped me dodge bullets in the past. You knew more about friendship than I did back then, and now I feel I must repay you.” I said.

“Well… if you’re really insisting. I don’t know much about friendship myself to be honest. You’re the first pony I talked to when I got here. I always shy with meeting new ponies. Can you help me?” Crème asked.

“Well… maybe it’s about time I put on somepony new under my wing. I’ll teach you whatever I can. I’m no pro in it myself but I could try.” I said.

“Thank you.” Crème said. “It really means a lot.”

“Have you ever had any past friends?” I asked.

“No. No I never did. I was always quiet. I felt the world was corrupted and I had no interests in being a part of anypony’s business.” Crème said.

“And I was the only pony you cared about at least a little.” I said.

“To a point.” Crème said.

“Cool! Do you have a job?” I asked.

“No I don’t.” Crème said.

“You can work for me then!” I suggested.

“Really?” Crème asked.

“Hey look at my face, look at my face.” I instructed her. “Does this look like a face that lies?” Crème chuckled a bit. “How is that funny?”

“Sorry, sorry. I just don’t socialize much. The only humor I know of is humor from TV.” Crème said. “The only friends I have is among the wild.”

“How long have you lived among the wild for?” I asked.

“I lost track, but I do have a house here in Ponyville. I saved up a bit. It isn’t much though. Nothing like this place.” Crème said.

“Were you emo in the past?” I asked.

“Very emo.” She said. “I gave up being emo when I spent my days in Everfree Forest.”

“I wanna know a little bit about your time in Everfree Forest.” I suggested.

“In that case, how about you meet me just outside Everfree tomorrow at 7?” Crème asked.

“AM or PM?” I asked.

“AM.” She said.

“Isn’t that, like…. the middle of the night?” I asked.

“Oh c’mon, Flare! You’ll have fun, I guarantee it!” Crème said.

“Alright then!” I nodded. “I was never afraid of Everfree, except for that one time with that liger problem.”

“Don’t worry, I know of a good location that you won’t find many wild beasts like that.” Crème said.

“You’re very adventurous, aren’t you?” I asked.

“Ever since I left Mareami, every day has been an adventure, and I feel so alive! HA HAAAAA!” Crème cried out. “Oh, sorry… was that a little too enthusiastic?”

“No, no! I like it! HA HAAAAA!” I cried out. We both started laughing excitedly, and then eventually we started laughing evilly, and then after that we started laughing like crazy, and then after that we continued laughing like crazy and started running around the trailer. Yeah, this is what I sometimes do in my free time. The only thing is… I never do it when anypony else is around. Gotta let out the crazy now so you don’t have to let out the crazy at the wrong time, but why does she feel comfortable doing it all the sudden? I think she needs somepony that thinks like her. I feel comfortable with her around, and I have no idea why.

“Great… somepony as crazy as Flare.” my fish Piddles complained.

“I like it! WOO HOO!” Darrel cried out in excitement as he began to swim around the tank, following our every move.

“I find it quite scary.” Yoyo said. “I think they wanna kill me. I dunno why, but that’s how I think as a fish.” Anyways, I have the feeling Crème and I are gonna get along juuuuuust ok.

The next day came, I walked over to Everfree Forest to meet up with Crèmepop. It was 7:01, so I was a little late. Hope she didn’t go on without me. I started to worry because it was now 7:06 and she’s still not around. I found it quite confusing. She seemed really interested, and she seemed pretty despite for a friend, and the fact that she actually met me back at my school years and was my guardian angel was uncanny. You know I didn’t learn that word ‘uncanny’ until a couple of years ago when I was playing Chrono Trigger.

“I didn’t learn that word until a heard a couple of ponies speaking.” Crèmepop said, breaking the fourth wall which caused more narrative contradiction to attack the area.

“Careful, Crèmepop! I don’t want to make any unnecessary risks. I already broke the fourth wall way too much. If we continue, this whole story will collapse.” I said.

“I bet some would be pretty pleased for that.” Steve the Combine Soldier said as he walked by.

“Who was that?” Crème asked.

“He’s part of the narrative contradiction. Don’t look at him.” I instructed her.

“So where were you Flare? I was waiting over there for you to show up.” Crème pointed.

“You said meet you at the entrance to the Everfree Forest and here I am.” I said.

Crème chuckled a bit. “I guess I wasn’t being too specific on which entrance.”

“Yeah, I guess not.” I said. “So is there a reason why you woke me up in the middle of the night?”

“You said you wanted to know a bit about my life among the wild, and I am here to show you.” Crème said. “Follow me. There is so much I want to show you.”

So Crème walked inside the Everfree Forest and I followed. To be honest, I wasn’t that impressed. I’ve been inside the Everfree Forest several times already. “Crèmepop, what are you even planning on showing me?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise. I don’t trust anyone for this discovery. You’re the first one I’m showing this too.” Crème said.

“Lucky me. I was always the last one when it comes to picking teams.” I said. “Even the kid in the wheelchair was picked before I. Even a rock was picked before!”

“At least you were able to play at all. They just skipped me and started playing.” Crème said.

“I think you’re the lucky one. I’m always the first one out and they have to say ‘you’re out’ so rudely and they even try to get me hurt before I’m able to go out.” I explained. “Even one time it was all against me, but luckily I was able to make the best of it. I used my magic to get four ponies out; there were only four balls so I wasn’t so lucky. I accidently hit one in the face so that was a bummer.”

“Ouch. Couldn’t get any worse than that.” Crème commented.

“It did. I hit the wheelchair kid in the face.” I said.

“Ooo, I’m sorry.” Crème commented.

“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.” I corrected her.

“I just feel bad for that.” Crème said.

“It’s not your fault I was disliked.” I said. Crème began to frown. “What’s wrong? C’mon don’t tell me you were responsible.”

“Huh? Oh no, I wasn’t; believe me I wasn’t.” Crème said.

“So why did you go all colon right parenthesis on me?” I asked.

“I’d rather not say right now.” Crème said.

“I won’t hold it against you, Crème.” I said. So we continued walking, and so far, I was getting bored. “So when are you going to show me something cool?”

“Everfree’s a big area, Flare. Besides, if we take the shortcut way, we could risk running into the manticore territory.” Crème said.

“Point taken. Are you sure they won’t just attack us whenever they sense us?” I asked.

“These creatures are territorial. They won’t attack unless you walk on their territory.” Crème said.

“How would I know if I walk on their territory?” I asked.

“You’ll see manticore pee.” Crème said. “It’s blue goo.”

“Wow, you just made me think of the Grown Ups movie.” I said.

“I liked the first one better than the second one.” Crème said.

“Yeah me too. The first one, you don’t know what to expect. Second time, you know what you’re expecting.” I said.

“Same goes with Shrek. The first movie was the best.” Crème said.

“Aww, but that was the only movie without the kitty.” I whined. “Hey does anypony know we’re out here?”

“No, I think it’s for the best that no one does.” Crème said.

“Wow that sounds as irresponsible as the parents from Rugrats. They never supervise their children. That’s why they always end up doing dangerous adventures.” I said.

“Oh shhh.” Crème shushed me. Up ahead was a sleeping cragadile up ahead. That’s the double the up aheads, which means double the length. Double the fun, right?

“How do we get passed it?” I whispered.

“It’s a her.” Crème whispered. “Females are much worse, especially when they’re laying on eggs.”

“Is she laying on eggs?” I asked.

“Do you think the cragadile smells like a bathroom?” Crème asked.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Then she’s laying eggs.” Crème said.

“Then I think this would be a very bad time to say that I ate french toast this morning.” I said.

“How is that bad?” Crème asked.

“Eggs are in French toast. Oooooh, I hope the eggs didn’t hear that.” I said in a frightened tone. “Please Crème, let’s get moving before the eggs get scared and wake up mama.”

“Just follow my lead.” Crème said.

So I followed Crème to get passed the cragadile. She leaned by a tree, I did as well; she hid behind a log, I did as well; she scratches her nose while she observes the area, I did as well; she jumped and rolled towards a big rock, and I… kinda did as well. “Ow.” I said once I jumped on my head and rolled towards the rock, but hitting the rock as I rolled. “Ow, again.” I said.

“Shhh!” Crème shushed me.

”Shhh!” I shushed back. Crème began to observe the cragadile’s surrounding environment, and I did as well.

“Ok Flare is we’re to move to the other side,” Crème explained and pointed and I pointed as well, “we have to- why are you pointing?”

“I’m following your lead.” I whispered.

Crème just smiled and said, “Good job.” Wow, I was being a smart-alec and she said ‘good job’. Wow…. No, don’t get me wrong, I like this, I’m just quite surprised is all. This pony really impresses me, but with all the surprises I’m getting, I lost my focus and tripped on a piece of grass which woke up the cragadile.

“OH SNAP!” I yelled.

Meanwhile back in Ponyville, Crystal was reading a book in her house, but then she feels a disturbance. “Thundy,” she yelled out, “get me my crossbow! Somepony’s been using my phrases again!” Yeah, this counts as a cutaway, but do I need to mention it?

So as I was laying down there on the ground waiting for the cragadile to crush every bone in my body, I said to myself, “I am so glad the Mane Six may never deal with a freakshow like this.” I was super scared because I really thought I was done for, and I didn’t even write my will yet, but before the monster can eat me, Crème starts wrestling the cragadile. I swear, I never seen moves like that before! She was like a rodeo champ, much like AppleJack! She really knows how to take care of herself. As she was wrestling the cragadile, she pinches the cragadile on the area between the shoulder and the neck and the cragadile falls unconscious.

“Hasta la vista, reptile!” Crème said.

“Actually, you did the Vulcan pinch on it.” I corrected her. “You should’ve said something Spock would say.”

“Why be logical when you can be original?” Crème asked.

“Wow… I never thought of it that way. Very clever!” I nodded.

“I hope so, I got that from Iron Will. He helped me out in getting me where I am today.” Crème said.

“Cool! Not just that though, the wrestling! It was amazing, Crèmepop! You’re a regular Steve Irwin!” I said impressively.

Crème giggles a bit and blushes. “Thank you!”

“I mean it! You are INCREDIBLE! You saved my life, Crème! I am in your debt!” I said. “But only if it’s legal. I’m not pulling heists for you.”

“Don’t worry, Flare. It’s what I do.” Crème said as she helped me up. “I’m just glad to have a friend with me. I used to live among these forests and it gets a little lonely.”

“What about Zecora?” I asked.

“Who?” Crème asked.

“Zecora. She’s a zebra that lives around these parts.” I said. “She’s friends with the Mane Six.”

“Oh, you can actually talk to that zebra? I had no clue. I thought she was another creature. I never heard her speak, plus I thought she was a witch.” Crème said.

“Oh she is a witch, but she’s a witch-doctor. All the best cures in Ponyville come from her.” I said.

“I had no clue and I’ve been living among these woods for over a couple of years.” Crème said.

“Really? Because you seem to talk and walk just fine.” I said.

“Just because I’m a jungle girl doesn’t mean I don’t have a TV.” Crème said.

“Alright, well… thanks again for saving me! I owe you big time!” I said as I patted her on the shoulder.

“No problem!” Crème said as she cleared her throat. “We should keep moving.” So I continued to follow Crème through the jungle and I’m still pretty shocked that a mare this pretty is also strong. Oh if only I was interested in being in a relationship. I’m really hoping one day I would. Wait, if I hope to want to one day, does that mean I am interested in a relationship? I have no clue with even my own logic.

“Hey can we wrestle another creature?” I asked.

“Maybe later, but for now we’re here.” Crème said.

“You know I still didn’t get an answer on where we’re going.” I reminded her.

“I didn’t tell you?” she asked. After she said that I just waved my head around with half of my mouth opened all the way and one my eyes squinting and I shrugged fast and shook my head. “Hey, don’t give me that look! You think I’m good at remembering things?”

“What is this place anyway?” I asked.

“Flare Gun, what I’m about to show you is something that I haven’t shown ANYONE… EVER… in the history of the planet!” Crème said.

“I feel special.” I said in a childish voice. So the two of us walked over to a pile of seaweed hanging on a cave entryway which was pretty ironic because he were nowhere near the ocean. “What is this place anyway?”

“Well this was my main source of shelter.” Crème said.

“So you lived in a cave? You’re a cavepony?” I asked.

“I suppose.” Crème said.

“Me make fire!” I said in a deep voice. “Me Flare, and me draw on walls and strong enough to kill sabre-tooth tigers and use their skins as clothes and me don’t even bother to clean them up.” Crème giggled at my joke and then she opens the seaweed doorway and the both of us walked inside. My eye pupils grew big just as I walked in there. “Wow, it is so beautiful!” I said. “I feel… I feel… happy.” I then ran over to the Flash Gordon coffee mug on the table. “These things are rare! How did you get one?”

“I stole it.” Crème said.

“What?!” I freaked out.

“HA! I got you!” Crème teased. “Nah, some traveler dropped it and I just didn’t bother giving it back because they were too far away.”

“How far were they?” I asked.

“I dunno, about 2 feet.” Crème said.

“Seems about right.” I nodded.

After Crème chuckled a bit she started to think of herself, looking like she was about to make a confession. “Flare… can you sit down please?”

“I don’t need a haircut thanks.” I said.

“No, there’s something I want to show you. There is a reason why I live at this cave. There is a reason why I forgave you- I mean… forgave my past in the first place.” Crème said.

“First you said one word then you stuttered and said something else probably to avoid drama.” I pointed out. “I’ll just ignore it because it’s pretty much the logical thing.”

“Ok. Just wait a couple of seconds. It’s almost noon.” Crème said.

“Wow, almost noon already? How long have we been in Everfree for?” I asked.

“Just look.” Crème instructed me. So I was looking around the cave waiting for something to happen, and if this wasn’t Equestria then I may not believe her, but since this is Equestria with magic, I can believe her. One thing’s for sure, I betchya 5 bits that whatever I’m going to see won’t be better than the Flash Gordon mug. Noon came and I cannot make a joke here because this moment was something I haven’t felt before. This moment made me feel happier than the Flash Gordon mug. This moment here made me feel a type of happiness that made me feel that nothing can trouble me anymore. I feel that all my past troubles were a thing in the past. You know why? I’ll tell you why! The cave began to glow. There were glowing light blue sparkles floating all around the cave, and some glowing turquoise lights began to glow among the walls. This happiness I felt is not natural. I’m not controlling it.

“I bet you’re wondering why you’re feeling happier than you ever had been.” Crème said.

“It’s not the Flash Gordon mug, I’ll tell you that.” I said.

“This cave is the Cure Cave.” Crème said.

“And you’ve been hogging all the cureness for yourself?” I asked.

“What?” Crème asked.

“I forgot.” I said. “What was I complaining about again?”

“That’s natural. This cave makes you forget everything bad that happened in your past, but… only for a little while. This magic gives your mind inner peace.” Crème explained. “Staying in here long enough made me forget most of the things I regret in the past, and I’m pretty sure it’s doing the same thing to you.”

“It is. I should take my friends here. They all had a questionable past that they want to take a vacation of. They need inner peace, especially Blaze.” I said.

“I don’t think I’m quite ready for your friends to visit here, Flare.” Crème said.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well first off, who are your friends? Second, I only bring those I trust.” Crème said.

“Why do you trust me though? We just met face-to-face just recently.” I said.

“Because I know.” Crème said.

“I’m gonna need a better answer than that.” I said.

“I have seen your fears and your past and it somewhat matches mine. I want what you want, Flare.” Crème said.

“Oh yeah? What is that?” I asked. “Spreading the lulz?”

“No, not that.” Crème said.

“Have the best pizza shop in Equestria?” I asked.

“Not that either.” Crème said.

“Having the Equestria record of stacking the most donuts on my nose?” I asked.

“No, and what?” Crème asked.

“Having the Equestria record of stacking the most donuts on my nose.” I repeated. “Wait, if you didn’t hear me, why would you say no?”

“Nevermind.” Crème said. “The thing that we both want is acceptance.”

“Umm… accepting that fact that jelly-filled donuts that are shaped like cylinders are more difficult than the unfilling donuts with the holes to stack on your nose?” I asked.

“What’s with you and donuts?” Crème asked.

“There’s a town meeting tonight and they’re giving away free donuts and I can’t stop thinking about that.” I said.

“Look, we both want to be accepted as individuals, right?” Crème asked.

“I am, I have no idea what you want. You seem to know more about me more than I know about you and it still freaks out.” I said. “Oh wait, I just forgotten it. Wow, this cave really works.” Just then, I started to feel something; something that dug inside my brain I guess. “Well that was weird. “

“Why? Is it that you feel that something dug inside your brain?” Crème asked.

“How did you know?!” I yelled. “You’re freaking me out! Oh, wait, I just forgot why I was freaked out.”

“Well first off, it’s common sense because I get that feeling sometimes; second, this cave can do more than calm minds. It can also tell you what you need to know. It’s like transferring data from a computer to a storage drive to another computer.” Crème said.

“Yeah, I can feel that, and I think the cave is telling me something else.” I said. “Wait… what? No… no that cannot be true. I would never do such a thing!”

“What’s wrong?” Crème asked.

“It would appear that I met you face-to-face before.” I said. I started gaining a flashback, back in my high school years. I was talking to my only friend on my phone as I was getting books form my locker. “Yeah, I know, Porky, but it’s just common sense. Adventurers have very weak knee-armor. It’s so easy to break that even an arrow can go through them.” Just then, a couple of teenage mares went by and giggled as they walked by.

“Oh my gosh, like, did you totally see that dress she was wearing? It was like soooo last century.” The blue mare that wore a bunch of makeup, alot of jewelry, a heart-shaped pie cutie mark, and a black shirt with a heart on it walked by and said.

“Oh my gosh, I know right? It was sooo 2006, and 2006 is our way of saying last century!” the blue mare’s friend that’s not worth talking about because she doesn’t do anything other than hang with the blue mare agreed.

“Who? Oh it was just Blueberry Pie.” I said to my friend on the phone. “Yeah I know, the most popular mare in the whole school. All the guys dig her, but not me. I don’t like ponies that make full of themselves, and to be honest, she’s not even that pretty. I’m glad you agree, Porky. Glad having a pig like you on my side. No, I am not teasing you with a Looney Tunes character. I know your name and I know your species, so can you just drop it? Ok good, thanks brah. Alright I’ll talk to you later, dude. Yeah… yeah I’ll meet you at our usual hangout later. Yes, I’ll bring Cheetos. No I’ll make sure I don’t get bacon flavored this time. Ok good. Yeah I know those are rare to find; so rare that you cannot find a snack like that in another universe besides this one and probably a few others. Alright, see ya, Porky. Chow!” I hung up with him, and I promise you’ll learn more about Porky in chapter 7. Up ahead, I see a nerdy kid walk up to Blueberry Pie with a bouquet of flowers, and we pretty much know how this is going to end.

“Hey, Blueberry.” The nerdy pony said in a shy voice. “I… umm… I was wondering if… umm… you can go… to the prom with me?”

“Uh huh. So you just decided to ask me to the prom even though you don’t know me and not to mention you’re a geek? What a loser!” Blueberry said as she started to laugh.

Blueberry’s friend began to laugh and she said, “I know, totally! I mean, I’m the friend of the popular girl so I have to agree and repeat everything she says and add more ‘totallys’ in the sentence, like OMG, totally!”

“My name is Ralph and I’m part of the chess club.” The nerdy pony said.

“Chess club?! Are you like… a nerd or something?” Blueberry asked as she began to laugh. “Oh wait, nevermind, your geeky look says it all.”

“I know, like totally!” Blueberry’s friend said as they both continued to laugh.

“Rant her off, brah. Rant her off!” I mumbled to myself as I watched the nerdy pony get humiliated.

He did not rant her off unfortunately. Instead, he just sadly walked away with his head facing down and the flowers on the boutique sinks down towards the floor, and he mumbled to himself, “Someday she’ll fall for me, I guarantee it!”

“No, brah… don’t guarantee it!” I mumbled. “UGH! I cannot believe this! Who would fall for a jerk like Blueberry Pie? I do not like her. I do not like her one bit. Why would ponies wanna be with a pony like her? I swear, she thinks she’s better than everypony else and the only ponies she’d fall for is the jockers. I swear to the Wizard of Hope, high school will never change! It’s always the same amount of drama and stories! SIGH!” And now you see why I didn’t start this story in the very beginning of my life. Every high school story is exactly the same. Not just that, every school story is exactly the same! Drama, class president, the prom, clubs, bullies, the same type of gags, I mean really! So once I was finishing up at my locker, I closed my locker and I saw Blueberry Pie standing right there next to me, behind where the locker door was. “AAH!” I yelled. “You startled me!”

“Startle, huh? I kinda like that in a stallion.” Blueberry nodded.

“Me too, like totally!” her friend said.

“What do you want, Blueberry? I don’t have time to talk to ponies like you. Thank you.” I said angrily.

“Ponies like me? Why, what do you ever mean? I never did anything to offend you, did I?” Blueberry asked in a squeaky voice.

“You picking on other ponies is offensive to me. I never bothered coming up to you because you treat other ponies like low-class. I consider it to be racist.” I said.

“But we’re all equal aren’t we? Each of us in the school?” Blueberry asked.

“Yeah but some are more equal than others.” I said. Blueberry started to giggle at what I said. “That wasn’t even that funny. What’s the catch, Blue?”

“I just want to get to know you.” Blueberry said to me.

“Lemme tell you something, Blue. I am desperate to make friends but not as desperate to be friends with an attention begger like yourself!” I said to her.

“You stood up to me and I like that.” Blue said. “The ponies I want to know are ponies that won’t judge me by my looks.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah!” Blueberry said.

“Yeah, totally!” her friend said.

“Is there anything Blueberry would say you wouldn’t agree on?” I asked her friend.

“I disagreed with her when she said she hates TGI Friday’s. I love that place!” her friend said.

“I dunno, that place is too expensive.” I disagreed.

“See? We have something in common! We should totally hang out, dude!” Blueberry said to me.

“Umm… well… I guess I shouldn’t judge you right away.” I said. “I mean you were probably jerks to other ponies for your own well-being.”

“Exactly! See? You get me!” Blueberry said to me.

“I suppose I do.” I nodded.

“We’re going to get along great, Flare!” Blueberry said.

“I hope so. I hope this is a good idea, like that idea I made about having a quicksave function in real life.” I said. A cutaway gag inside a flashback shows me talking to my sister Water and asking her, “Hey, Water, wouldn’t it be neat if you could quicksave your life just like in video games? That way if you do something dumb you can just restart and try again?”

“Well that’s just stupid.” Water said as she glared at me. Just then I popped up the main menu and reloaded my life just before I talked to Water that same instant.

“Hey, Water!” I said. “Hey wouldn’t it be nice if we fed fish gold dust and then they’d poop out jewelry?”

“You mean that eating rock thing and making gems that Tiarawhy made? Yeah that would be cool!” Water said excitedly. I then smiled and squeed at the audience. The cutaway ends.

I don’t wanna make this a completely different chapter, so I’m gonna just mention the important parts of my relationship with Blueberry. Ever since I started going out with her things have been going great for me. I’ve become popular at the school, even though I knew for sure that they didn’t like me for me, they like me because of Blueberry, but that’s ok, I didn’t treat my only friend Porky as garbage because he’s the only one I can trust. Now this is when things get interesting. I’ve been going out with Blueberry Pie for a couple of weeks already and I started to have the feeling things were getting serious between her and I. She invited me over to her house which was on Seastar Island. All the richest ponies of Mareami live here. At first I didn’t think she deserved all this, but after seeing a side of Blueberry I haven’t seen before I have the feeling she does deserve all this after all.

“Wow, Blueberry! I really like the look of the butler-home! It’s like a mini-castle.” I said.

“I know, isn’t my butler home awe- wait, butler home?” she asked curiously.

“I like to call mansions butler homes because all these houses come with butlers, am I right?” I asked.

“Right you are, Flarey!” Blueberry said.

“Normally I’d be a little upset because only my sister and mom can call me that, but I’m ok with you.” I said with a smile.

“See? This is why you’re the best coltfriend ever!” Blueberry said as she cuddled on my arm.

“Since when were we in a relationship?” I asked.

“Just now!” Blueberry said. “What? Do you not wanna be?”

“The only things I wanna do is at Wannado City.” I said as I forgot that Wannado City actually closed down a couple of years ago. Wannado City was a theme park about kids doing simulations of their dream jobs. It was fun and all, believe me, but the Wannado City money was useless. Can’t buy anything with it! Maybe if you could buy stuff with that money it wouldn’ve closed down!

“Flarey, you’re in a relationship with the most popular pony in school? Doesn’t that make you happy?” Blueberry asked.

“No.” I said. “I’m in a relationship because I like you for you, not because of how popular you are because I could care less about that.”

“Wow…” Blueberry said shockingly. “Are you serious? Like if I was fat and ugly, which I am…”

“I’m not gonna argue with you about that because you’re gonna disagree with me anyway.” I complained.

“You’d still go out with me?” Blueberry asked.

“Of course! You’re pretty, but prettiness isn’t everything. You have a unique personality!” I said.

“Like you, sug!” Blueberry said.

“Exactly!” I said.

“Anyways, come up to my room. I got us some ‘activates’ we can do, but first, my personal nerd is finishing up with my homework.” Blueberry said.

“Your personal nerd?” I asked.

“Oh don’t be upset, she volunteered.” Blueberry said.

“Huh? Oh I’m not upset about that. I just thought I was your personal nerd?” I asked.

“You’re my personal geek! There’s a difference to that.” Blueberry corrected me.

“Huh… never thought of it like that before.” I said. So once the two of us went upstairs to her room we find a younger Crèmepop doing Blueberry’s homework. Younger Crèmepop didn’t look that different, except she was wearing geeky glasses and braces, and of course she was smaller.

“Are you done with my homework yet?” Blueberry complained to Crème.

“It’s right here, Blueberry.” Crème said as she gave Blueberry her homework.

“That’s Miss Pie to you, nerd.” Blueberry said rudely to her.

“Nuh uh, I’M MISS PIE!” Pinkie Pie corrected her.

“No, Pinkie, you’re not in this scene.” I corrected her. “Come to think of it, you’re not even in this chapter.” Just then I looked over at Blueberry’s bed and I saw it sinking to the ground and words starting popping out from the walls. “DANG IT, PINKIE! We have a narrative contradiction warning! Get outta here!” I demanded.

“Ok but do I still get paid for this chapter?” Pinkie asked.

“STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL AND GO, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!” I yelled as Pinkie quickly ran off.

“What was that?” Blueberry asked.

“Nothing, just continue, quickly! I’ll fix that later.” I instructed her.

“Anyways, you weaking,” Blueberry yelled at Crème, “you got number 4 wrong!”

“How do you know?” Crème asked. “You don’t even do your homework!”

“Are you talking back to me?!” Blueberry yelled as she grabbed Crème.

“No, ma’am, not at all.” Crème said in a frightened tone.

“Blueberry, are you sure you should be doing that?” I asked.

“Relax, she likes it,” Blueberry said to me. She then turns to Crème with a glare and asked, “don’t you, squirt?”

“Oh yes, I love it very much!” Crème nodded in fear.

“Go ahead, Flare; do it.” Blueberry suggested.

“Do what?” I asked.

“Talk down to her.” Blueberry instructed me.

“I-D-K. I only talk that way to bullies and the ponies that observe my drawings from over my shoulder, oh and my dad.”

“C’mon Flare, she likes it!” Blueberry said. I looked at Crème and I could tell it was a fake smile.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Positive! C’mon, make this pony happy and talk down to her.” Blueberry instructed me.

I used to be a gullible pony, and I still am but not as much… well… a wee-bit not as much, but still am big time, and just to let you know, I was 16 when this happened. “Umm… you stink.” I insulted Crème. “You, umm… you’re a weak little pony and nopony likes you… I guess.”

“Is that the best you can do, Flarey?” Blueberry asked. “C’mon, impress me!”

“You… umm… umm… your mom is so ugly she… umm… your mom is so ugly that even if she had a bag over her head, other ponies would still say ewww… I guess.” I tried to insult her.

“Is that really the best you got?” Blueberry complained to me.

“I can’t insult her! I only insult ponies on purpose if they make me upset.” I said.

“If it makes you feel any better, I do feel a bit insulted with the bag thing.” Crème said.

“Shut up!” Blueberry ordered Crème. “Go on, Flare!”

“What did this pony ever do to me?” I asked.

“I saw her put something in your locker at school.” Blueberry said. Crème gasped.

“WHAT?! She touched my stuff?!” I yelled. “You can’t touch my stuff without my permission! Did you at least use hoof sanitizer?”

“No she did not.” Blueberry said.

“UGH! I have no idea where your hooves been! You’re disgusting!” I yelled at Crème. Crème did feel a bit insulted. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention; I was a germaphobe. Still am a bit, but not as much. I mean, I still always wash my hooves before I eat or bite my nails, but I’m ok with touching other ponies now……. shut up! This is a child-friendly story, so that means I’m ok with hugs and brohooves; that’s what I mean!

“Oh that’s not all, but this pony talked smack about that game you like… umm… something Tournament.” Blueberry said. Crème shook her head real fast.

“UNREAL TOURNAMENT?! No! That game is awesome! I feel like a champion with that flak gun and the music is very catchy and I can’t stop looking at the stain-glass windows on the Deathmatch training level!” I yelled.

“She also talked smack about your fish.” Blueberry said.

“NOT MY FISH!” I yelled. “Oh no, I can forgive ALL those things, but I cannot forgive ponies messing with my fish! You sicken me.” Crème began to tear up.

“Tears of joy?” I asked.

“Definitely!” Blueberry nodded. She then pushed Crème away and said, “Now get outta here, shrimp!” Crème began to cry and stormed out.

“Umm… are you sure that was a good idea?” I asked. “She didn’t seem that thrilled.”

“She was, Flarey, she was.” Blueberry said as she started cuddling up to me. “You’re the best coltfriend ever!”

“I am, huh? Wow, I didn’t think I hit it off but I did.” I nodded. “I really hit it off.” The flashback started fading away after I said that last sentence and now we return with Crème and I back in the present inside that cave. I was shocked. “It WAS you! I did meet you before! I treated you like garbage in the past!” Crème nodded upsettingly. “Holy Wizard of Feelings, I… wow… out of all the things that I regret in the past, I regret that one the most. I mean, I can take the betrayal, but I turned into the very pony I hate! I normally don’t say the word ‘hate’ lightly but I HATE turning into the very pony I hate.”

“You were young and stupid then, Flare.” Crème said.

“I WAS!” I agreed. “Oh my… wow… I do not believe it. You were there for me in my past and I let Blueberry control me.”

“That was the same time I left Mareami.” Crème said. “I thought I was wrong about you, but then when I saw you and Princess Luna at Everfree-“

“Umm, pardon the interruption, but I think Princess Luna’s name should be first.” I corrected her.

“Ok.” Crème said. “When I saw Princess Luna and you at Everfree Forest, I heard you two talking about leaving Mareami to move to Ponyville to find peace. What happened back at Mareami though? What happened to Blueberry?”

“Well… I don’t wanna say ALL that happened in my past yet, but if you must know what happened to Blueberry, this was just a little while before I saw my friend Porky for the last time.” The flashback starts again over at my school; I was just about to walk out until I saw Blueberry talk on the phone. “Yes, I know. Really? The time has come, huh? Alright. Alright, babe if you say so. Love you too. Hugs and kisses forever. Bye.” She said as she hung up.

“Who were you talking to?” I asked.

“My coltfriend.” Blueberry said.

“Wow, fancy!” I said.

“What?” Blueberry asked.

“Well I mean you have two coltfriends, me and him.” I said.

“Oh you didn’t get my text did you?” Blueberry asked.

“No, I’ve been having a lot of phone problems lately.” I said. “I try to call my mom on my phone and when I press the call button, my phone doesn’t call her until 10 minutes later. I think I should let Porky take a look at it. Maybe he can fix it.”

“Ok then I’ll just tell you.” Blueberry said. “I’m breaking up with you.”

“Wow… really?” I asked.

“Yep.” Blueberry said.

“Are you gonna say sorry at least?” I asked.

“I’m not sorry though. In fact I never loved you. I always thought of you as annoying.” Blueberry said.

“Really now? And how long have you thought I’m annoying?” I asked.

“Since before I saw your face. Herb told me everything.” Blueberry said.

“Herb… of course! I swear Herb has been trying to make my life miserable since day one!” I said angrily.

“Yeah, so just to let you know, out of all the geeks I met, you were the worse.” Blueberry said.

“Ok you said you were breaking up with me and you never loved me, can we just leave it at that? No need to make it worse because I’m gonna spaz out.” I said.

“In fact you were the only one I hated. Only one in the whole world.” Blueberry said.

“FRIEND! SAY YOU’RE MY FRIEND! SAY IT NOW!” I yelled as I started to shake her. “FRIEND, FRIEND, FRIEND!”

“Nope, not friends. Never was, never will be.” Blueberry said.

“LAUGH! I WANT YOU TO LAUGH AT ME! TEASE ME! Just don’t give me that angry look! AAH! I CAN’T TAKE IT!” I yelled.

“At least nerds made me laugh out of their idiotic ways to attract me. You on the other hoof make me barf. I’d never post a link to a YouTube video reaction just to show you how much you make me barf.” Blueberry said.

“UGH! Just like the trolls on Fimfiction!” I complained. “Can we at least be netural? We never met at all. That will really help us both.”

“Nope. You’re my worst enemy. WORST ENEMY.” Blueberry said.

“NOT AN ENEMY! NOT THE WORSE! NOOOOOO! AAAAAH!” I started spazing out and rolling around on the floor screaming and saying random words. Physical pain is nothing compared to this. Being considered the worst and the only one out of something negative always offended me, more than anything else did. Normally I can take insults, but this… this was a complete disaster! I was betrayed by my marefriend, the one pony I thought had a soft-side. I was right about her from the start. Popular girls are always bad news, but why would she do this? What was her reason? What was so special about me? Why would she work with Herb? Herb’s has always been harassing me since the first day of school! This story we’ll be getting into another time. The flashback ends there and we return with Crème and I.

“So Blueberry betrayed you, huh?” Crème asked.

“You seem surprised.” I said.

“I thought you two were really gonna hit it off?” Crème asked.

“I was wrong about her.” I said. “I mean, popularity didn’t get the best of me, that wasn’t the moral in there; the moral was… ponies will deceive you. I mean… ok how do I explain this?”

“Disharmony works in mysterious ways.” Crème said. “You think somepony is a close friend of yours when it actually turns out they were just using you.”

“I know, but how would I know that they are using me?” I asked.

“You can tell, Flare.” Crème said.

“You can tell Flare what? I don’t understand that?” I asked.

“If you see a friend pick on someone innocent and if you find at least one little thing suspicious about them, tell them honestly what you think about them, and if they continue to deceive you by telling you lies, they’re not really your friends.” Crème explained.

“Wow… I… I guess you’re right, Crème. It’s hard to tell who your friends and who are not.” I said.

“Actually, Flare, it’s easy.” Crème said. “You just have to know what’s in your heart.” She taps on my chest.”

“Those are my lungs you’re pointing at.” I corrected her. “Move a little to the left.” Crème moved her hoof a little bit to the left of my chest. “Yeah that’s better.”

“Learn something new every day, right?” Crème asked. “I mean I know you never meant to give me harm.”

“Huh? Oh right I just remembered that I caused you pain in the past. Dang this cave!” I shook my head and said. Crème chuckles a bit. “But I caused you harm in the past and I totally forgot about that.”

“I think that’s the cave talking.” Crème reminded me.

“No, it’s not the cave. I just decided to forget about it. That’s what I did. I forgot about my past during my time in Ponyville, but now I remember it again. Thanks a lot, Crème!” I complained.

“Maybe it’s for the best.” Crème said. “Sometimes you gotta remember your past boo-boos so you can learn from them.”

“Past boo-boos? What are you, four years old?” I asked.

“I’m just saying, Flare.” Crème said.

“But you did a lot for me in the past. I owe you, Crème. I owe you big time!” I said.

“No you don’t its fine.” Crème said.

“I do though! You know what, Crème? Forget the application. You’re hired.” I said.

“I am?” Crème asked.

“Yes you are, and forget about the Friendship Agreement too. The amount of friendship we have… a contract doesn’t even have to show it. We’re friends because we’re friends, and I know you will never betray me.” I said as the cave began to glow again. Sparkles began to rain from the top of the cave and sparkle all over me. Crème started to stare at me. She started feeling something she never felt before.

“Flare… you’re… you’re the sweetest pony I’ve ever met.” Crème said.

“I hope so because I have way too much of a high-blood pressure to be salty.” I teased. Crème chuckled a bit and smiled at me. I smiled back. “C’mon, Crème! It’s time for work!” So the two of us left the cave and went back to Ponyville and over to my shop. Just because she felt like it, she gave me her application. “Ah, your application! But I hired you instantly though.”

“I know, but it was something I really needed to do…. Boss.” Crème said as she winked at me and chuckled.

"Alright, let's see it." I said as I took her application. All she wrote down on it was 'May I have a job?' "Close enough. You're hired." I said.

Crème squeed and gave me a big hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Flare!" she cried out, but she let go quickly and nervously. "Um, I mean, boss."

"It's kay. I treat my employees as friends of mine." I said. "Let me introduce you to your co-workers. The green unicorn over there is Lyra Heartstrings, and that one is Bon Bon, but I like to call her Bonnie."

“You don’t bother giving any detail about me?” Bonnie asked.

“Yeah and I’m not green; I’m a very bright aquamarine.” Lyra corrected me.

"Plessure to meet you two!" Crème said, sticking out her hoof.

"Plessure to meet you t-" Bon Bon said with her hoof out walking towards Creme, but Lyra just jumped in front of her to shake her hoof first.

"Likewise! I'm Lyra! It's great having another pony coming to help us out!" Lyra said. Bon Bon had a confused look on her face.

"Well then." Bonnie said. "Anyways, welcome to the team. You'll love it here! The pay is good, the work is good..." But then she leaned towards Crème’s ear and whispers, "but Flare goes out too much leaving us in charge."

"Really? Wow." Crème said.

“Alright so here you are, Crème.” I said as I gave her a stack of papers.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“The Friendship Agreement. You have yet to fill it out.” I said.

“I thought you said you insisted on not giving this to me?” Crème asked.

“I say a lot of stuff I don’t mean. It’s called: not spoiling the moment.” I said.

Crème smiled at me and said, “Its ok. This is much better.”

“Alright, well you have fun with that.” I said. “I’m going to meet with my friends for lunch. Aqua suggested that we go have some Indie food and the only question to that is… do the same ponies that created Indie food also make indie games?”

"Can I come to lunch with you?” Crème asked.

"Oh sorry, sista, but… Friendship Agreement says there needs to be a reservation first aaaaand… I don’t wanna miss any cool deals for six, soooo… ssss, yeah, but you’re still hired regardless and I do owe you big time, don’t worry.”

“It’s ok, Flare.” Crème said as she smiled at me. “I’ll be working as hard as I can and I’ll be waiting for your return.”

“Uh yeah sure, whatever. BYE!” I said as I stormed off. Crème sighs as she smiles and begins reading the agreement.

“You have the hots for Flare, don’t you?” Bonnie asked.

“WHOA!” Crème yelled. “Where did you come from?”

“We never left.” Lyra said as she then places her hoof around Crèmepop. “Don’t worry, Crèmepop. We won’t say a thing to him. That’s our employee promise.”

“Thanks, Lyra.” Crème said. “But you think he likes me back?”

“We don’t know.” Bonnie said. “He keeps saying he’s not ready for a relationship.”

“So… it’s a no then?” Crème asked.

“Give him time; he’ll come around, Crèmepop. Don’t worry.” Bonnie said.

“I hope so, but when he’s ready… I’ll be his first.” Crème said.

“If you say so, Crème. Now c’mon; allow us to show you what we inattentive employees do when the manager isn’t around.” Bonnie winked at her and said.

“What do you mean by that?” Crème asked nervously.

“You’ll find out.” Lyra said to her mischievously as the two began to chuckle.

“Let’s go somewhere a little more… private.” Bonnie said.

“This better not be naughty.” Crème said.

“Oh it’s VERY naughty!” Lyra said mischievously. Crème gulped nervously, and then the three ponies headed on into my office, locked the door and continued to chuckle.

“What is this about?” Crème asked.

“Take a seat and we’ll show you.” Lyra said mischievously. Crème did what she asked, Lyra and Bonnie walked on over behind my desk and opened it up. “Oh this is gonna be nasty stuff!”

“No doubt!” Bonnie agreed.

“You two are freaking me out.” Crème said.

“Well this is DEFINITALY going to freak you out!” Lyra said.

“I can’t take this suspense! What’s going on?!” Crème yelled.

“Look!” Lyra said as she took out a jar of my hoof-nail clippings. “It’s Flare’s collection of hoof-nail clippings!” Bonnie and Lyra began to laugh.

“What?” Crème asked.

“We come into Flare’s office all the time and sneak into his stuff while he’s out, and lemme tell you this… he’s out very often.” Bonnie said. “Isn’t this very naughty of us?”

“Very.” Crème nodded as she chuckled along.

“Look at these nasty hoof-nails. I told you this was gonna be nasty! Why does he save these?” Lyra asked and the three ponies continued to laugh.

“Yep, you’re gonna fit in here juuuuuuuust ok, Crèmepop.” Bonnie said.

“Thank you, Bonnie! I think I am going to like it here!” Crème agreed.

“I miss saying my favorite quote.” Stew the Shotgunner said as he was standing in my office with Steve the Combine Soldier. “Badplot. See? I can’t say it!”

“Who are you two?” Bonnie asked.

“Flare said something about us needing to avoid them.” Crème said.

“Don’t avoid us!” Steve begged. “We have these really cool grenades that we can throw but if one gets thrown at us we don’t throw it back.”

“Yeah and my model changes whenever I’m carrying a weapon that’s not a shotgun.” Stew said.

“Excuse me, do you two have any idea who you’re talking to?” Lyra asked.

“Some jerky horses that sound like geeky girls?” Steve asked. “I can’t even say my favorite quote!”

“Sorry, I forgot my checkbook.” I said as I unlocked my office door, opened and headed inside. “It turns out I need to go to the bank and- WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!”

“Can’t the characters of another series this author makes have an appearance on one of his other stories?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, General Ivan did that. He appears in both Scanner-Life AND Combine Rampage.” Stew said.

“NO! GET OUT!” I yelled. “You’re ruining the story! Everything ”

Oh nooooo! Nooooooo! My story! Look at Ponyville! It’s a mess! Steve and Stew really messed things up now! The narrative contradiction destroyed everything! My story is ruined! I’m pretty sure those jerks at Fimfiction are happy about that. Ooooooh… my story…. It’s all ruined. Broke the fourth wall too much and narrative contradiction destroys everything. It’s gonna take me ages to rebuild everything! Sigh… oh well… I’ll do what I can to fix everything. I suppose I should end this chapter here. I’ll be lucky to get everything fixed before Nightmare Night because it’s a Nightmare Night chapter next!

The Haunted Mansion

View Online

BOO! Happy Nightmare Night, everypony! It’s my first Nightmare Night in Ponyville, which means its Pipsqueak’s second Nightmare Night in general! Wow, this is the fourth chapter in the second season of my series we’re talking about Nightmare Night, and MLP’s first Nightmare Night episode was in episode 4 of season 2. Pretty ironic, is it not? Nightmare Night is a great time to get candy, and as Pinkie says, you're never too old for free candy! I got my trailer all decorated for the trick or treaters that'll be coming soon. Lots of spooky stuff around my place. I even decorated the fish tank. In fact, I'm just doing the finishing touches on it. Darrel was afraid of the skull I put in it.

"AAAH!" Darrel cried. He swam away from the skull, but unaware that he was swimming to a scary looking pumpkin. He screamed again. Everywhere he swam to there was something scaring him. The last thing he was swimming to was a picture of Darla from Finding Nemo which scared Darrel the most. Eventually, he hid behind Rainbow.

"You okay, Darrel?" Rainbow asked.

"Rainbow, where are we? Everything looks scary!" Darrel cried out.

"That's because Flare decorated the tank for Nightmare Night." Yoyo said.

"Huh?" Darrel asked.

"Do we have to go through this every year, Darrel?" Dorthey asked.

"I keep forgetting." Darrel said.

"So, where's Pearl and Piddles?" Yoyo asked.

"Getting dressed." Dorthey said. Pearl then showed up and was wearing a princess outfit and Piddles was dressed in an apron and hair net.

"What are you guys suppose to be?" Yoyo asked.

"I'm Princess Cadance. I spread the love all around. When two ponies are fighting, I make them fall in love." Pearl said. “See how OP I am?”

"Like the time Cadance accidently made a brother and a sister fall in love?" Piddles teased.

"What about you, Piddles? What are you suppose to be? A bus colt?" Pearl asked.

"No. A Steak ‘n Shake cashier." Piddles said.

"Thanks Piddles, you made a hungry." Yoyo complained.

"What doesn't make you hungry?" Piddles asked.

"Hey fishies!" I said to them in an evil tone. Darrel screamed like a little girl and fainted on Rainbow. I was wearing a black outfit, with a necklace with buttons on it, a black cape, and I was painting a big red 'S' on my right eye, while holding a mirror so I can see where I'm painting so I don't get any paint inside my eye. Ouch. That happened to me before, and it wasn't pretty.

"Wow, what kind of outfit is that?" Dorthey asked, but I can't hear what she's saying, but a coincidence, I answered anyway.

"Look at me, I'm evil Flare! Darth Flare!" I said.

"Darth who?" Rainbow asked.

"I never heard of a character by that name." Dorthey said.

"I'm going out to do a little trick or treating, and in every house I go to, I'll do a little jingle." I said. "Trick or treat, smell my feet that I put in a tub full of garlic and purple onions. Except, I don't have feet, I have hooves."

"That doesn't even rhyme." Pearl pointed out.

"Well I'm off. I'll see you when I get back!" I said to the fish and when I opened the door, Spike and Twilight were waiting for me outside.

"Trick or treat!" Spike said.

"Hi Flare!" Twilight said.

"Hey Spike! Hey Twilight! I was just about to go out trick or treating myself!" I said.

"Well first this dragon needs his yearly Nightmare candy!" Spike said.

"Of course, bro! Of course!" I said putting a few candies in his bucket.

"Is chocolate all you have? Where are the gems?" Spike asked.

"Bro, I can't provide gems for you ALL the time. You know how expensive they are?" I asked.

"That's fine; I can get some from Rarity." Spike said.

"Spike, don't be so selfish. Thank Flare for the chocolate." Twilight ordered him.

"Thank you, Flare." Spike said with an attitude.

"No problemo!" I said. "I'm saving most of the Milky Ways for me though. Milky Ways are my favorite chocolate. So what are you two wearing?”

“Since I was Starswirl the Bearded last time, I decided to be his apprentice Clover the Clever. She was one of the ponies that discovered Equestria.” Twilight said.

“Wrong holiday, Twlight.” I pointed out.

“See, THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” Spike yelled. “I told you, Twilight, everypony’s going to say that.”

“What are you supposed be, brah?” I asked Spike.

“Oh I’m a Ghostbuster.” Spike said. “When something’s strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call?”

“The police.” I said.

Twilight then looked at my costume weirdly. "Why are you wearing that?" she asked.

"What? My Darth Flare outfit? It's my Nightmare Night costume." I said. "Didn't it scare you when I first used it?"

"Yes, very." Twilight said.

"Oooo Twilight, you betrayed me, I'm gonna sing a song about ruling the world." I said sarcastically, teasing her.

She chuckles and joins along. "Oh no, Flare. This isn't like you, you're being tricked."

"But you all betrayed me, and now you're gonna have to pay!" I teased. We both laughed.

"I.... I don't get it." Spike said.

"Oh you were probably being worked on by that time, becoming that dragon beast." I said. "But yeah, and what are the odds of anypony else wearing this? At least we had a costume meeting this time, unlike that costume party we went to a few weeks ago."

A cutaway shows somepony started knocking on the door at my trailer and Blaze was with me inside. He was finishing putting on his Flash outfit and started walking to the door. "I got it!" he yelled. Once he finished putting on his glove, he opened the door and Psyche bursts inside the trailer, making a zoom noise, wearing the same Flash outfit. They were both shocked to see eachother. "Oh no!" Blaze complained.

"Oh no!" I complained as I walked out of my room also wearing a Flash outfit.

"Make way for the fastest pony alive!" Engie yelled as he ran inside my trailer also wearing a Flash outfit. "Oh no!" he complained.

"You see, this is why I wanted to have a costume meeting!" I complained.

"Well we all have different costumes, we can change!" Blaze suggested.

"Or, we can stay behind eachother all night; it'll look like one pony going really fast!" Engie suggested.

"No, no! It's a boy, girl party, this Flash runs solo." Psyche said.

"How about this? Nopony gets to be the Flash, we all change, agreed?" Blaze asked.

"Agreed." we all said gloomy, as we all went back to our places to change.

Just then Blaze yelled; "I CALL FRODO!"

"DARN!" we all complained. The cutaway ends.

"So Flare. I guess you and Pinkie aren't so different." Twilight said.

"Whatcha talkin about?" I asked.

"With the trick or treating. How old are you?" Twilight asked.

"26." I said.

"Oh, really?" Twilight asked.

"Times 1. What's 26 times 1?" I asked.

"Uhh, 26?" Twilight asked.

"Yep! That's how old I am!" I said. "How about you Twilight? What's your age?"

"Well, my age is-" Twilight said, but Spike interrupted her.

"Uhh, Twilight? Can we continue trick or treating?" he asked.

"Of course, Spike!" Twilight said. "Flare, you coming?"

"Why else you think I'm out here wearing this costume and holding this bucket?" I asked, holding an orange bucket with a jack-o-lantern face on it.

"I see what you mean." Twilight said.

"C'mon, I wanna go to Keith's house." Spike said. So we all went trick or treating. We started off at Keith’s house. We rang his doorbell, and he opened it. I said my trick or treat jingle. "Trick or treat, I feel leet, time to feel dat Mareami heat!"

"Flaaaaaaaaaaaaare!” Keith said excitedly.

“KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” I said excitedly.

“KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” Spike said excitedly.

“No… this is Flare and mine’s thing.” Keith said to him.

“So can we have some candy?” I asked.

"Oh.” Keith said.

“What?” I asked.

“I ate it.” Keith said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Keith said.

“Why?” I asked.

“I was hungry.” Keith said.

“Don’t you have anything else in your fridge?” I asked.

“Nothing I want.” Keith said.

“Oh.” I said.

“Yeah.” Keith said.

“Well that SUCKS!” Spike complained.

“Sorry.” Keith said.

“Thanks anyway, Keith. You have a Happy Nightmare Night!” Twilight said.

“Whatever.” Keith said.

“See you on Facebook, brah.” I said.

“Ok.” He said as he closed the door.

“He’s quite a charming fella.” Spike said.

“He has a quiet social life. He spends the majority of his time mining for diamonds.” I said.

A cutaway shows Keith inside his house playing Minecraft. Umm… yeah, that’s about it. Short cutaway wasn’t it?

"Where to next?" Spike asked. So we went from house to house, getting more and more candies. Of course, my jingles weren't all the same. We went to Steve the Combine Soldier’s house next.

"Sup?" he asked.

"Trick or treat, I don't like meat. Give me candy to rot my teeth." I jingled.

"I wish I can have candy to rot my teeth, but I can’t take this gas mask off. Combine surgery and all that.” Steve said.

“Who’s this dude?” Spike asked.

“His name is Steve. I’m just gonna leave it at that.” I said trying to avoid another narrative contradiction attack. Trust me, it was hard for me to rebuild Ponyville.

“Am I going to be able to go back home soon, Flare?” Steve asked. “Stew is becoming impatient not being able to say his favorite word.”

“I’M TIRED OF SAYING BADFLANK! It just doesn’t feel the same!” Stew the Combine Shotgunner yelled.

“Here’s your candy.” Steve offered.

"Thanks!" Spike said.

“No prob! Just remember our deal, Flare.” Steve said.

“Just give me time, brah. I promise you two will be back home just don’t mention the name ok?” I asked.

“Got it.” Steve said as he gave us a thumbs-up and closed the door. Don’t worry, I’m planning on him leaving by the time chapter 8 is done.

So Spike and I went to many other houses and got more stuff. The three of us met in the town square and told each other what we got.

"Cool, I got some 3 Musketeers." Spike said.

"I got some laffy taffy." Twilight said.

"I got a rock." I said.

We went to more houses and met in the town square again after we got more candy.

"I got some bottle caps." Spike said.

"I got some milky ways." Twilight said.

"I got a rock." I said.

We met at the town square again after a few more houses.

"I got some nerds." Spike said.

"I got some chocolate bits." Twilight said.

"I got a rock.... soundtrack." I said, holding a rock music soundtrack case.

"Oh... well, that's good." Spike said.

"No. It's Red Hot Chili Peppers." I said.

"Nevermind then." Spike said.

"I haven't been so lucky tonight." I said.

"Its okay, Flare." Twilight said.

"Well at least I'm not gonna rot my teeth, unlike you two." I said.

"I guess that's one way of putting it." Twilight chuckled and said.

“Well, whatever." I said. Just then suddenly, I heard a familiar giggle, and Pinkie was hopping towards us. She was wearing a gypsy costume.

"Hey Pinkie!" Spike said.

"Hey guys!" Pinkie said. "You all ready to party?"

"Of course, always!" Twilight said.

"Because there's a Nightmare Night party being hosted at Canterlot Manor! Isn't that great? This is gonna be fun!" Pinkie cried.

"A Nightmare Night party in an old abandoned mansion on the hills of Canterlot?" I asked. "Yeah nothing suspicious there."

"Are you crazy, bro?" Spike asked. "An abandoned house in the hills of Canterlot? You say nothing suspicious?"

"Nothing suspicious." I said.

Spike gave me a look. "Alright seems legit." he said and nodded.

“Then let’s go!” Pinkie said excitedly. “We’re all invited!”

“Who’s hosting it?” Twilight asked.

“Oh I have no idea!” Pinkie said as she continued to hop.

“Hmm…” Twilight thought. “Are you sure we should be going there? Accepting a party invitation from a complete stranger seems pretty suspicious.”

“Twilight, if there was anything suspicious wouldn’t we know about?” I asked as I put my hoof around her.

“He’s got a point!” Pinkie said.

“I just don’t think it’s wise.” Twilight said as she turned around and thought to herself. “Now if we were to go to a party invited by a pony we have no idea who, then I say we- oh they’re gone.” She said as she turned back. She then sighs. “Fine, shouldn’t say I didn’t warn them.”

“You didn’t warn us!” I yelled out from the distance.

So the four of us started heading over to Canterlot so we can go to the Canterlot Manor party. While we were walking along the Canterlot streets on our way over there, we played a guessing game. It was my turn. "Alright, so I'm thinking of pony that's dark blue, has a wavy mane that reflects on the night sky, and her cutie mark is a moon. Who is this pony?" I asked.

"Let me guess.... Luna?" Spike asked with an annoyed tone while riding on my back.

"Right!" I said. "Now I'm thinking of an alicorn, whom her sister shows off too much, but she doesn't have enough appearances. Who is this pony?"

"It's Luna, right?" Spike asked.

"Right! Now I'm thinking of a-" I said, but Spike interrupted me.

"Luna, and the next guess: Luna." Spike said.

"Alright now that's just creepy." I said. "How do you know?"

"That's been the same answer for the past half-hour." Spike said.

"Are you a gypsy?" I asked him.

"No, I'm the gypsy, silly!" Pinkie said. "I am the wise-ol madam Pinkie." She said in her gypsy voice.

"Oh really? Can you tell me my future?" I asked.

"I would, but I left my crystal ball back in my tent. But I can try." Pinkie said. She closes her eyes, and puts her hooves on her head. "I'm seeing.... Princess Celestia. She's ordering for a big feast. She's ordering your pizzas for her feast!"

"Surprise face! No way!" I cried.

"Yes way!" she said.

"Wow, I can't wait!" I cried out.

“But be careful though. I see ninjas in the vision.” Pinkie said, and Twilight chuckled.

“Wow… holy Wizard of Feelings. I better be prepared then.” I said shockingly.

“You do know its nonsense right?” Psyche asked as he was wearing some green tights, a green hat with a red feather and a bow and arrow.

“What do you know, Psyche?” I asked rudely to him.

“Hey, Psyche! What are you supposed to be?” Spike asked.

“Wait I know who he is! He’s Peter Pan! How cute!” Pinkie said.

“Actually, Pinkie, I’m Robin Hood.” Psyche corrected her.

“Eh, TO-MAY-TO, TO-MAH-TO.” Pinkie said.

“It’s too bad, ah love Peter Pan, especially when he’s played by a girl.” Engie said while wearing a black shirt and jeans with white stripes on it.

“What are you supposed to be?” Psyche asked as he observed his outfit.

“Ah’ll give ya a hint. Nnnnnyoooow.” Engie said as he started shaking his body around back and forth. “Nnnnnnyow.”

“A cat?” Psyche asked.

“Wow, and you’re supposed to be the one with the PH.D.” Engie said sarcastically to him.

“Having a PH.D has NOTHING to do with me knowing what idiotic things my friends come up with.” Psyche said.

“C’mon Flare, donchya know what ah am?” Engie asked as he moved his body back and forth again. “Nnnnyoooow.”

“A rip-off of Sheldon Cooper?” I asked.

“Wow listen to you Flare.” Engie complained. “Ah’m the Doppler effect!”

“I know, but wasn’t Sheldon the Doppler effect once too and you just took his idea?” I asked.

“It wasn’t HIS idea. It was the writiers’ idea.” Engie corrected me. “For goodness sake, partner, get your facts straight.”

“C’mon Flutters, it’s only a party. Y’all will be fine.” AppleJack said as she wore a Timberwolf outfit.

“B-but… it’s a haunted… ma-ma-mansion on a hill! Don’t you find this suspicious?” Flutters asked as she crouched down, covered her head, and started vibrating in fear. Oh and she’s wearing a bunny outfit.

“Hey, mama Flutters!” I said.

“Sorry, Flare, b-but Mama Flutters is r-r-really scared right now.” Flutters said.

“There’s really nothin’ to be afraid of. There’s no such thing as ghosts.” AppleJack said to her.

“Actually there kinda is.” Crystal said as she joined us, wearing a Samus jumpsuit outfit. “Sometimes when I walk around my house, I thought as see someone walking by but there really isn’t. Kind of an illusion if ya ask me. Also sometimes in my bedroom when I have the door partially closed, when the A/C comes out my door closes all the way. That’s the A/C ghost I’m talking about.” Fluttershy suddenly faints on Engie’s hooves.

“Dibs.” Engie said.

“Real nice, Crystal. Ya made Fluttershy faint. Ah hope y’all are proud of yerself.” AppleJack said angrily at her.

“Meh… so-so.” Crystal said.

“Nice Samus outfit, Crystal!” Twilight said.

“Thanks! Also wrong holiday, Twilight.” Crystal commented about her costume.

“That’s three of us so far.” Spike said mischievously at Twilight. She glares at him.

“Fascinating, very fascinating.” Blaze said as he uses his sonic screwdriver on Spike. “I have never seen anything quite like that.”

“I’m a ghostbuster, Blaze. I’m pretty sure you seen the movie.” Spike reminded him.

“Oh I did, I did, but seeing that green goo on your collar… brilliant!” Blaze said as he observes Spike’s collar.

“Oh that’s just some of that potion Twilight accidently spilled on me.” Spike said as he wipes out his collar. “What are you supposed to be, Blaze?”

“I’m the Doctor.” Blaze said.

“Wow… maybe ah should tell Doctor Whooves ya were impersonatin’ him.” Engie said.

“No he has that Tenth Doctor personality. I’m the 11th Doctor.” Blaze said.

“LAME! Number 10’s better.” I corrected him.

“We’re all entitled to our own opinions, man. I like number 11.” Blaze said.

“Nope.” I said.

“Yes I do.” Blaze corrected me.

“Nope.” I said again.

“Flare, I like number 11, he’s really-“

“Nope.”

Blaze then glared at me and groaned. “You know this outfit is ridiculous.” Rainbow Dash complained as she joined us wearing an Amy Pond outfit. “Why couldn’t I be Clara? She’s more awesome!”

“The store didn’t have any Claras.” Blaze reminded her.

“You know, there are other stores, Blaze.” Rainbow reminded him.

“Martha’s my favorite.” I said.

“Wow! All of you heard about this party, huh?” Pinkie asked excitedly.

“It would appear so, darling.” Rarity said as she appeared and was wearing a Queen Elsa outfit.

“Ooooo, love the outfit, Rarity!” Pinkie said.

“Thanks! I’m Queen Elsa from Frozen.” Rarity said.

“I’m sorry, but in what universe does Queen Elsa have gems on her dress?” I asked.

“I thought the dress would look more fabulous that way.” Rarity said.

“Rarity, if you’re gonna be a character from a movie, you need to do it right.” I advised her.

“I dunno, I kinda like it.” Aqua said as he was not wearing any costume, just his blue armor.

“Hey Aqua, where’s your costume?” Rainbow asked.

“This is my costume. I’m goin’ as myself.” Aqua said.

“I… I don’t get it.” Rainbow said.

“WOW! That is so unique! Maybe I should’ve been Aqua for Nightmare Night!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“I dunno, it wouldn’t feel right if there were two of us.” Aqua said.

“If there were gonna be two of you, then ah would’ve been really upset.” Engie said. “Ah’m still into that idea of all of us bein’ Flash.” Just then, lightning strikes all around them, and loud thunder rumbles the sky, and a mysterious old stallion in a butler outfit shows up out of nowhere.

“Whoa! Where did he come from?” AppleJack asked.

“You know, this would’ve been less scary if that pony was a unicorn.” Crystal said.

“Ugh… what happened?” Fluttershy asked as she rubbed her head and regained her senses.

“Good evening.” The butler pony said. Fluttershy suddenly screeches and faints again.

“Still dibs.” Engie said.

“Who are you?” Twilight asked.

“I am Short Pipe. I am the butler of Canterlot Manor.” The butler said.

“Keep on eye on him. If this is a murder mystery, he’s the first suspect.” I whispered to Aqua.

“I’ll take ya’re word for it.” Aqua said.

“Please follow me. The party is about to start.” Short Pipe said.

“HEY! WAIT UP!” Water yelled as she ran over to her our group. When she got here she tried to catch her breath. Also, her costume was a brown teddy bear with a black hat and a black bowtie.

“Oh hey, Water. What took you so long?” I asked.

“Sorry… I… phew! I had to make sure I have the right hat for my costume.” Water said.

“What are you anyway?” Rainbow asked.

“I’m that bear from that popular horror game, I forgot what it was called.” Water said. “I really needed to make sure the hat and bowtie matched.

“I like your style, Water Gun!” Rarity nodded.

“Thanks! What are you supposed to be Rarity?” Water asked.

“I’m Queen Elsa from Frozen.” Rarity said.

“Oh… I thought you were Cinderella at first. Her dress was much more sparkly than Elsa’s.” Water said.

“Come then, Canterlot Manor is just this way.” Short Pipe said as he began to lead us to the wooded area just outside of Canterlot. Since we were on a mountain, it was a pretty steep path.

“Whoa!” I said, trying to keep my balance. “WHOA!”

“What are you whoaing about?” Crystal asked.

“This mountain! We never had mountains back at Mareami! I can walk pretty well on a flat surface but a mountain is a challenge for me.” I said.

“I don’t have that problem, bro.” Water said. “I traveled all around Equestria and I got used to mountains. I’m so used to mountains that walking on a flat surface is a challenge for me.”

“Wait, Ponyville’s a flat surface though.” AppleJack corrected her.

“Which was why I always walk in a corner-like fashion most of the time.” Water said.

“Hey you know what I really don’t like sometimes? Comcast.” I said.

“And why is that?” Engie asked.

“Sometimes you have to use this one type of particular remote in order to change the channels. Changing the channels on another remote or on the TV itself will just make the TV staticy.” I explained.

“Hey anything’s better than Dial-Up.” Crystal said.

“Crystal, they’re talking about cable, not internet.” Psyche corrected her.

“Well they should be more specific.” Crystal said. “Comcast is everywhere, same with AT&T.”

“Hey you all remember Singular?” Spike asked.

“Course we do.” Engie said.

“Good cause I don’t. I don’t think I was around then.” Spike said.

“Dem fancy technology wasn’t introduced to me until three years ago.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah! I introduced it to her!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“She sure did, and now Apple Bloom ‘n Big Mac won’t stop playin’ that Gamecube.” AppleJack said.

A cutaway shows AppleJack calling the family over to dinner. “C’mon, family! Granny Smith made us a mean apple turn-“

“Stop shovin’ me, Big Mac!” Apple Bloom complained as her and Big Mac were versing each other on the Gamecube and Big Mac kept shoving her aside. “Quit cheatin’!”

“Quit winnin’.” Big Mac complained.

“Wow, ya got the nerve to talk properly finally, huh?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Ah so wanna get rid of technology.” AppleJack complained.

“Then why don’t we go live in Amish country?” Granny Smith suggested.

“What’s that?” AppleJack asked.

“It’s nothing different to here, except we have to wear very hot black clothes all the time.” Granny Smith.

“Do we have to?” AppleJack asked.

“Yes. It’s part of Amish law.” Granny Smith said.

“Ah thought Amish don’t have police?” AppleJack asked.

“They don’t.” Granny Smith corrected her. “The only way they discipline each other is hitting each other with the Bible of the Two Sisters.”

“Sounds very strict.” AppleJack said.

“Don’t you talk to ya’re elders that way!” Granny Smith yelled as she whacks AppleJack with a book.

“OW!” AppleJack yelled as she rubbed your head.

“Oh wait this isn’t the Bible of the Two Sisters. Can ya wait here while ah get it?” Granny Smith asked. The cutaway ends.

“This is it.” Short Pipe said as we all stopped and bumped into each other in a straight line.

“I know some sicko is going to make a dirty meme out of this.” Rarity said as she bumps into AppleJack and Aqua bumps into her.

“Welcome to Canterlot Manor.” Short Pipe said as he points to a dark manor on top of the hill up ahead. Lightning strikes behind the manor as organ music plays in the background.

“You know in the app,” Spike said as he taps onto an android pad he was holding, “it says here that Dinky Doo in a fire chief outfit and Sassaflash in an Egyptian outfit live here.”

“No that’s just our summer home and it’s fall now.” Sassaflash with an Egyptian said as she carries a suitcase.

“Sometimes when I sleep I hear scary noises coming from the closet, and sometimes the candles float and the eyes on the paintings move.” Dinky in a fire chief outfit said.

“Yeah so I hope you have fun in our summer home.” Sassaflash said as the two of them ran off.

“Never believe in what that app says.” AppleJack said to Spike. “It says ah live in Twilight’s house, and Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo live in their tree house. That app has wrong written all over it.”

“Listen to you, I’m not even in it!” Spike complained. “All I do is talk and give missions.”

So the fifteen of us… am I right, its 15? Anyways, the 15 of us began to climb the hill and up to the manor. There were a lot of dead trees surrounding us and the moon was full and there were clouds covering half of it. It was pretty foggy out and we did hear some howls in the background, until we found out it was Crystal using her Wolf Caller. “Isn’t this thing cool? Fluttershy gave it to me!”

“When I gave it to you, I didn’t think you were going to bring it with yoooooooou.” Fluttershy said frightened as she held AppleJack tightly.

“Careful with the hugs, sugarcube.” AppleJack asked Fluttershy. “Ah mean, ah like ya and all, but ah’m pretty tired of these random shippings.”

“Point taken.” Fluttershy said as she releases AppleJack from her grasp. So we all began to walk towards the entrance of the manor. The large double doors creaked open and we all began to slowly walk inside and notice the huge foyer with huge paintings on the wall, a random desk with a mirror and some table photos, huge columns and a huge chandelier hanging on the ceiling with candles on it, and the stair case was right in front of us at the end of the hall with two different stairs from the center going towards the east or west ends of the manor. Once we walked inside the manor and started walking on the flat floor, Water tilts over falls.

“Ow!” Water yelled.

“I welcome you once again to Canterlot Manor. Please remove your shoes before entering.” Short Pipe instructed us.

Spike sighs, “The one day we all wear shoes and we have to remove them.” Since most of us were wearing shoes we all had to remove them. Nightmare Night in a nutshell I tell you.

“I must admit this is a fabulous house, but compared to all the other fabulous décor around Canterlot, this is the Trottingham of Equestria.” Rarity said.

“Niiiiiiice.” Psyche nodded glaring at her.

“So what’s this murder mystery going to be about?” I asked.

“What makes ya even think this is going to be a murder mystery?” Aqua asked.

“ARE WE GONNA DIE?!” Flutters yelled.

“Noooooo, noooooo, this is too early to be freaking out. Wait until the first murder occurs, then we freak out.” I said to her. Flutters squeaks and then runs inside a pony armor sculpture, shaking. Her shaking causes the armor to clank.

“Couldn’t you be a little more helpful to her, Flare?” Blaze asked me.

“What? You mean that wasn’t help?” I asked.

“Uhh… where’s the party?” Pinkie asked.

“Yeah. Where’s the food?” Spike complained.

“And the dancing?” Crystal asked.

“And the little tri-cycles?” I asked.

“Little tri-cycles?” Rainbow asked.

“You can’t have a wild party without riding little tri-cycles around the halls.” I said.

Rainbow nods. “Never thought of that; that kinda sounds pretty cool.”

“Seriously?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah. Riding the tri-cycle down the stairs and then gliding straight forward and preforming tricks and then I spin outside and land on the porch.” Rainbow explained.

“Could be something better than a tri-cycle though.” Blaze said.

“Hmm… I could try a uni-cycle.” Rainbow thought.

“And juggle!” Blaze added.

“No not juggling. That’s dumb. I’m a daredevil, not a clown.” Rainbow corrected him.

“Hey, where did the butler go? He was just right here.” Aqua pointed out.

“Whoa! The butler disappeared without even saying or doing anything!” Spike said.

“How mysterious.” Engie said.

“C’mon, the only logical reason is if the butler was just out to get us some drinks or something.” Twilight said.

“Twilight’s right! Popsticks can make awesome little pals!” Pinkie said.

“Wait… what?” Aqua asked.

“I believe she means that the butler might be just trying to get us some refreshments and hopefully we can get this party started because I am bored.” Rainbow complained.

“Yeah for sure, what time is it?” Spike asked.

“It’s 8:30.” I said as I checked my phone.

“AM or PM?” Crystal asked.

“What do you think?” I asked sarcastically.

“Ummm… both?” Crystal asked.

“Wait… maybe this isn’t the room we’re supposed to be partying in!” Pinkie said.

“What do you mean, Pinkie?” AppleJack asked.

“Duh! Look at the room we’re in!” Pinkie pointed out. “There are no party decorations! That means the party is in another room!”

“I suppose she does have a point there.” Rainbow said.

“Then it’s settled! We find the right room where the party is located! C’mon!” Pinkie instructed us.

“Ah think we should split up. It’ll help us find the party room easier.” AppleJack said. “Now, ah’ll go with-“ but before she can finish Fluttershy zooms out of the pony armor sculpture and grabs AppleJack’s leg. “Ah guess Fluttershy’s with me.”

“Dibs on Rainbow Dash!” Crystal yelled.

“UGH! Dang it! Beat me to it!” Blaze complained.

“Don’t worry, Blaze.” Rainbow said with her hoof around Blaze. “We’ll meet up at the party room and we can do whatever awesome nonsense you have in mind there.”

“Awesome nonsense?” Blaze asked.

“You know, I never see you socialize with Rarity, Blaze. Maybe you should go with her.” I suggested.

“Ah why not? If I ever fall, he’ll catch me in his hooves.” Rarity said as she flutters her eyes at Blaze.

“Hey Psyche, you still need a partner?” Blaze asked.

“Sorry, I’m already going with Twilight.” Psyche said. “Since we both know astronomy, maybe she can give me some interesting tips.”

“Wait, I never assigned us as a group.” Twilight corrected him.

“Shhh… I just didn’t want to go with him. He groans too much.” Psyche whispered to Twilight.

“Ugh!” Blaze groaned.

“Pinkie Pie, how about you?” Blaze asked.

“Say what now?” Pinkie asked with her hoof around Aqua.

“Ow.” Aqua said calmly. “Ya’re chokin’ me.”

“If it hurts, why are you saying it calmly?” Pinkie asked.

“Is there a law sayin’ I have to freak out when I’m hurt?” Aqua asked.

“Engie?” Blaze asked.

“Aww, I wanted Engie!” Water whined.

“Fine. Flare?” Blaze asked.

“Hey Spike, who do you think is the meanest female on television?” I asked.

“The brown M&M. You?” Spike asked.

“Umbridge from Harry Potter.” I said.

“She’s in a movie, dude, not television.” Spike corrected me.

“They showed the movie on television.” I corrected him.

“Well, I’m sure you have a point there.” Spike said.

“C’mon, darling! What do you have against me?” Rarity asked.

“Nothing, except you’re going to complain about how dirty this manor is the whole time we’re going to be walking.” Blaze reminded her.

“Blaze, dear, I have far better things to worry about than worry about how dirty this place is.” Rarity corrected him.

“Oh yeah?” Blaze asked.

“But of course! I mean, just look at this wall! It doesn’t match the floor!” Rarity complained.

“Ugh!” Blaze groaned.

“I mean… green walls with a teak wood floor? HEAVENS!” Rarity complained. “Might as well dump garbage everywhere and no one will see the difference.”

And so the search has begun to look for the party room. This manor was huge, like… a quarter mile long! Ok maybe not that huge, probably a tenth of a mile. I was never good at geometry. So we start off our search with Pinkie and Aqua who were searching the bottom floor and they found a theater of some sort, but instead of seats, there were tables and chairs. “Looks like we found a theater.” Aqua said.

“You know what I hate? Some spell ‘theater’ like ‘T-H-E-A-T-R-E’ instead of ‘T-H-E-A-T-E-R’. What’s up with that?” Pinkie asked. “I mean… why not spell it ‘T-H-E-A-T-R-R? That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

“The E is silent.” Aqua said.

“Of course E is silent, silly! Letters don’t talk.” Pinkie corrected him and she giggled. “I swear Aqua; you say the funniest things, like ‘mate’. What kind of word is that? Are you part-pirate?”

“No.” Aqua said.

“Oh that would be so totally amazing if you were part-pirate! You’d win the lottery, and then you’d use the lotto money to store in a treasure chest, take it to an island, burry it, and then draw a map of it, put the map in a bottle, and set it out to sea.” Pinkie explained.

“Seems like a waste of money, doncha think?” Aqua asked.

“That’s why you hope for the bottle to wash up wherever you are so you can go hunting for it! That would be so much fun! I’d totally do that if I won the lottery!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“If ya say so, Pinkie.” Aqua said.

Pinkie gasped. “Aqua, LOOK!” she points to a couple of animatronics on stage: a blue bunny rabbit, a bear with a tie and hat, and a duck with an apron that says ‘Let’s Eat!!!’ (yes, there were three exclamation marks).

“Oh that is so cool! This is like a Chuck E. Cheeses!” Pinkie said. “I LOVE throwing parties at Chuck E. Cheeses! Those animatronics look so fun!”

“They creep me out.” Aqua said.

“Why? They look totally harmless!” Pinkie said.

“Just look at the duck’s teeth. What sort of duck has teeth?” Aqua asked.

“That’s not a duck; it’s a chicken.” Pinkie corrected him.

“Really? Looks like a duck.” Aqua said as he observed the….. bird.

“Nah it’s a chicken. Ducks don’t wear aprons, only chickens do.” Pinkie corrected him.

“If ya say so, Pinkie, but something feels off about these particular animatronics.” Aqua said.

“Of course they feel off, silly! They’re shut off!” Pinkie giggled and snorted. “I swear, Aqua, sometimes I think you’re sillier than I am!” As Aqua looked at the rabbit, he started to feel a little nervous.

“Pinkie?” Aqua asked.

“Probably the less silly thing you said since we’ve been in here!” Pinkie said.

“Umm… look at the rabbit.” Aqua pointed.

“What about it?” Pinkie asked as she looked at it. “Oh I see! The rabbit is blue. Rabbits aren’t supposed to be blue! I mean, they could if we colored them blue in a coloring book.”

“No, the rabbit is lookin’ at me.” Aqua said.

“Of course he’s looking at you! You just decided to stand where he decides to look.” Pinkie said.

“No I mean the rabbit was lookin’ over there before, but now he’s lookin’ at me.” Aqua pointed out.

“Eh, maybe I moved him when I was leaning on him.” Pinkie thought.

“Ya were leanin’ on the duck.” Aqua reminded her. “Not just that, ya’re leanin’ on it right now.”

“Chicken.” Pinkie corrected him.

“Whatever, but… what the?” Aqua asked.

“What’s wrong? Did he wink at you?” Pinkie teased.

“Actually… it did.” Aqua said.

“Whoa!” Pinkie said shockingly. She then smiled and started jumping. “Wink at me next! Wink at me next!” Aqua started to get really nervous. Since he’s not really the type of pony that hangs around with electronics that much, it pretty much explains it, but its head only moved and it winked, nothing much really.

We now go to Rarity and Blaze who find themselves at a dressing room. “Ah yuck!” Rarity commented. “So many dressings in here! I prefer oil and vinegar in my salads.”

“I don’t eat salad at all.” Blaze said.

“Oh heavens, Blaze! How are you so fit then?” Rarity asked.

“I always eat junk food. I just exercise more than I eat.” Blaze said.

“Can you do that?” Rarity asked.

“If you have the heart of a dragon and the will of a phoenix, anything is possible, Rarity.” Blaze said.

“Yeah I still can’t stand your breath, no offense, Blaze.” Rarity said.

“What?” Blaze asked.

“It’s nothing personal, but your breath smells like an old, just-used barbeque grill.” Rarity said.

“You hang with Spike all the time and you don’t complain about his breath.” Blaze reminded her.

“That’s why I make him take a Tic-Tac before he talks to me.” Rarity said.

“And you didn’t bother offering me one?” Blaze asked.

“You’re an adult. You can make your own decisions.” Rarity reminded him. “I offer Spike one because he’s still a child and I wanna do what’s best for my favorite little assistant.”

“He’s Twilight’s assistant.” Blaze reminded her.

“To be honest, he’s more of mine than he is of her these days, dear.” Rarity corrected him.

“Well since we’re in here, we might as well snatch ourselves some dressing.” Blaze said as he walked over to the shelves to see what kind of dressing he wanted. “Umm… no not vinaigrette… I guess Italian is ok… is this ranch homemade or restaurant brand, Rarity?” Rarity did not respond. “Rarity? Rarity what kind of…” before he could finish that sentence, Rarity was not in the room. She completely vanished. “Rarity, what the… how did you do that? You didn’t even make any noise! I did not hear a door close and there’s nothing but shelves in the room! I know you wouldn’t hide behind a shelf since it’s all dusty behind them. Where did she go?!”

Meanwhile, we go to Spike and I who were just walking down the northeast corridor of the manor. We weren’t afraid of the house though, but we were bored so we played a little game. “Hey, Spike? Can you guess this song?” I asked him as I began to sing an instrumental of a particular tune. “Dun-duuuun duuuuun dun-dundun-duuuuuun, voom voom, dundun-duuuun-duuuuuun, dundun dunduuuuuun, voom voom, dundun-duuuunduuuuunduuuuun-dun-dun-dundunduuuuuuun dundun-dunduuuuuuuun DUN!”

“That’s the Universal Studios opening, right?” Spike asked.

“You got it!” I said excitedly. “Ok can you guess this one? Dun-dun-dun, dundundun-dun-dun-dun…. Dun-dun-dun, dundundun dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-dun, dundundun dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-dun, dundundun dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-dundun-dun-dun, dundundunduuuuun dundundunduuunduuuuuuun.”

“The Creeping through the Sewers song from Chrono Trigger?” Spike asked.

“You got it, brah! You’re pretty good at this game!” I said.

“Can I try one?” Spike asked.

“Be my guest!” I insisted.

“Bum-bum-bum-bumbababum-bum, bababababa-babababum-bum, BUM BUM, bum-bum-bum-bumbababum-bum, bababababa-babababum-bum, BUM BUM!” Spike hummed.

“Under Pressure by David Bowie.” I said.

“No, it’s Ice, Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.” Spike said.

“Ice, Ice Baby ripped off Under Pressure.” I corrected him.

“No Vanilla Ice said Under Pressure was ‘bum-bum-bum-bumbababum, bababababa-babababum-bum, BUM BUM!’ while Ice, Ice Baby was ‘bum-bum-bum-bumbababum-bum, bababababa-babababum-bum, BUM BUM!’” Spike corrected me.

“It’s still a rip-off, even if they added one note in it.” I said.

“Hey I think the party room is through those double doors.” Spike pointed out as he approached two huge double doors at the end of the hall. Spike tried to open the doors but they were locked. “They’re locked.”

“Spike, how many times do I have to tell you that I like to be the one that opens the doors?” I complained.

“Well this manor is pretty huge, and no doubt that’ll be some spare keys lying around.” Spike suggested.

“Perhaps. Maybe there was a spare key behind the… I dunno, probably behind a box or something.” I informed him, but as I was talking, I looked down and I saw something that I had to pick up. “What’s that? OH! Oh look at this tiny box!”

“What?” Spike asked.

“Look at this tiny box I found!” I said excitedly as I picked up the 2x2 inch box I found on the floor and showed it to him. “OH it’s so tiny! Oh I’m gonna call you Tiny Box Tim! You’re gonna come with me on an adventure, Tiny Box Tim!”

“So you found a random tiny box on the floor and you just decided to pick it up?” Spike asked.

“Look at it, Spike! It’s so adorable!” I said. “You know, sometimes when I’m at the store, I like to go to the baby department and find little baby shoes and little spoons and I just go up to my mom or sister and I show it to them! Same goes to little miniature keychains. I find tiny stuff to be so adorable!”

“Why?” Spike asked.

“Makes me feel HUGE!” I said as I flexed my front forelegs.

“Ok, but we still need to find a key for these double-doors.” Spike said.

“Maybe I outta smash this tiny box and see if the key is in it.” I said mischievously, but then I talked in a cute voice to the box and said to it, “No I’d never hurt you! I would NEVER hurt- sorry, I drooled all over myself when I said that.” I said in my normal voice as I wiped the droll off my face. I then said to the box in an adorable tone again and hugged it, “I would NEVER hurt you, my little biscuit!”

“Ooooook that’s kinda weird.” Spike said in a freaked out tone.

“Ok still need to find the key.” I said.

“I agree. So where do you think we should start?” Spike asked.

Just then I made a sniffing sound as I moved my box around the room. “Do you smell a key around here, Tiny Box Tim?” I asked the box. “Do you smell the key? Behind those boxes?” I walked over to a pile of boxes on a table. “The boxes that bullied you because you were smaller?! I’ll kill ‘em! I’LL KILL ‘EM ALL!” I started smashing all the bigger boxes around while I held Tiny Box Tim with my magic, and then eventually, I found a key on the table. “Oh well done, Tiny Box Tim! You are an awesome finder!”

“This is really creeping me out.” Spike said.

“Oh don’t be jealous, brah. Tiny Box Tim would never replace you.” I said as I walked over to the double doors and tried the key on it. The key fit perfectly and they both opened with a creek. “Cool! Fits perfectly! C’mon, brahs! The three of us need to find that party room. Lead the way, Tiny Box Tim!” Spike started to get a little freaked out, but then he remembered who he was hanging with right now.

“Of course, it’s only Flare. He’s only being himself. Nothing to worry about. It’s only a tiny box.” Spike said as he followed me inside.

Meanwhile with Psyche and Twilight, they weren’t too far from Spike and I; in fact, they just walked by where we just were before we went through the double doors. As the two of them were talking about… I dunno, space stuff, they find themselves right under a hatch to the attic. “Hmm… I’m not 100% sure, but I think whatever we may find could be in the attic.” Psyche informed Twilight.

“What makes you think there’s going to be a party up there?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t, but might as well make this interesting by exploring up there.” Psyche said. “Maybe there might be clues on who owns this house.”

“And you chose the attic out of everywhere else?” Twilight asked.

“There could be some interesting treasures up there. We were invited inside and the butler didn’t say anything about not touching anything. It’s not like we’re going to steal.” Psyche said.

“You do have a point there, Psyche.” Twilight said. “Ok, why not? I sure do love exploring!”

“Excellent!” Psyche said excitedly as Twilight lowered the attic hatch and ladder by using her magic. The two of them began to climb the ladder and head up into the dark and dusty attic. It was crowded with boxes and furniture, and there was even a big round window to let moonlight in. “Eh, like I expected in any attic. I wonder if there are any dusty old books we take home.” Psyche hopes.

“PSYCHE ILLUSION!” Twilight yelled. “No book is old and dusty!” Twilight grabbed a couple of old books from on top of some boxes and opened them up, but it was very dusty in them and she even sneezed.

“You were saying?” Psyche asked with a smirk.

“Thank you for blessing me, Psyche.” Twilight said sarcastically.

“You’re welcome, Twilight!” Psyche teased.

After Twilight rolled her eyes at his joke, she spots a book right next to an old sewing machine and a floor lamp. “What’s this?” she asked.

“I have the feeling you found a book.” Psyche guessed as he was looking through a box.

“Sort of. I actually found a camera.” Twilight said.

“Sort of? How is that sort of? A camera is NOTHING like a book!” Psyche corrected her.

“Actually, in a way, it is.” Twilight said. “You see, a camera is a way of telling stories from pictures. It’s like the opposite of a book, when you read stories and you get pictures in your head, and you feel like you’re actually there.”

“Huh… never thought of it that way.” Psyche said.

“And I don’t even have my PH.D.” Twilight smirked at him.

“Did you hear Aqua got his master’s degree recently in Chemistry?” Psyche asked.

“Interesting. Anyway, I think this camera might still work.” Twilight said as she observed the old camera.

“How about you take a picture of me then?” Psyche asked.

“Alright, stand over by that window and give me a big smile.” Twilight instructed Psyche as she placed the camera over her eyes, and Psyche did so. Twilight took the picture and the photo started to slide out of the front slot. “Well done!”

“Nice!” Psyche said.

Twilight took the photo out of the slot and looked at it. She then frowned and said, “Well that can’t be right.”

“What’s wrong?” Psyche asked.

“This may frighten you.” Twilight said.

“Nonsense, Twilight! Nothing can frighten me.” Psyche said as he takes a look at the photo and it showed Psyche lying on the ground with a piano on top of him. “Wow, looks like something out of the Twilight Zone.”

“The what zone?” Twilight asked.

“But still, not that scary. That camera must be broken.” Psyche thought. “Let’s try again, but this time, take a picture of me near that coffin over there.” He pointed.

“Psyche, I think I read a story similar to this situation. Are you sure this is a good idea?” Twilight asked.

“Relax, Twilight, it’s a gag camera. They’re only stories, right?” Psyche asked.

“I suppose you’re right.” Twilight agreed. So Psyche walks over to the… possibly empty coffin over at the other side of the attic and he poses by it. “Are you sure about this, Psyche?”

“What? You think the next snapshot is going to be a zombie popping out and attacking me?” Psyche asked. Twilight didn’t say a thing, but instead, she decided to go with it and take the picture. The photo slides out of the slot and she takes a look at it. “Lemme see it.” Psyche said as he and Twilight took a look at the photo and it showed Psyche stepping on a mouse trap next to the coffin. “Not what I expected, but interesting.” Just then, Twilight accidently takes another snapshot from the camera and yet another photo slides out.

“Oh sorry about that. This is a sensitive button; even sensitive with magic.” Twilight said. Psyche takes a look at the photo and it shows a picture of him getting tackled by a zombie that pops out of the wardrobe behind him.

“HA!” Psyche chuckled. “I get it! This camera is messing with us! I like this camera.”

“Well I don’t. I think we should ditch it.” Twilight suggested.

“Here, I can hold onto it. I bet Flare, Pinkie, or Crystal would get a kick out of this contraption!” Psyche said excitedly as he takes the camera.

“If you’re sure about this, Psyche.” Twilight said in a worried tone.

Meanwhile with Engie and Water, they were heading into the basement to search for the party. “Basement, Engie? Really? You think there’s going to be a party in the basement?” she complained.

“Have ya seen Sean Paul’s Get Busy music video?” Engie asked.

“That was a party?” Water asked.

“Yeah, what did ya think it was?” Engie asked.

“Well regardless, why are we down here? It’s dark, spooky, and there could be monsters.” Water said.

“Ya know, Water, legend has it that one of the worse monsters of them all lives down here in this very basement.” Engie said.

“Heh, yeah what are the odds of that?” Water asked sarcastically.

“It’s true.” Engie said. “A long time ago in a quiet forest laid a quiet village-“

“Yeah I don’t need to you to waste my time with the jibber-jabber backstory of the village; cut to the chase.” Water complained.

“Well… one time in this village, there was a crash, and everypony in the village was scared.” Engie said. “From the crash rose a stranger. It started marching onto the village, screaming, and roaring. Everypony barricaded their homes and hid. They cut the power, making it look like an abandoned village, until this one mare saw the monster and lied saying that some hooded ponies locked them all in their homes, but that wasn’t the case. It was all to lead the monster into a trap. This monster was hunting for one particular type of pony. He kept screaming it out as he held a key in his hoof.”

“Who he was he looking for?” Water asked.

“A blacksmith.” Engie said.

“Uuuuggh.” A voice moaned and echoed throughout the basement.

“What was that?” Water asked.

“Uuuuugh.” The moan echoed again.

“It’s the monster, Water.” Engie said. “After a huge adventure it was in after a choice of either accepting or declining to be like a God, this monster only had one particular mission.”

“Uuuuugh… where’s the blacksmith?” the voice echoed in the background.

“He was never able to find him. He took shelter in this very mansion for many years, waitin’ for the return of the blacksmith.” Engie said in a spooky voice.

“Uuuuugh!” the voice moaned as a figure started to walk towards Water and Engie, but it was still too dark to see him. “Where’s the blacksmith?”

“Why does he wanna know where the blacksmith is?” Water asked in a frightened tone.

“Where’s the BLAAAACKsmith?” the monster asked again.

“Make him go away! Make him go away!” Water started to freak out.

“He will not stop, Water. He will not stop until he gets what he wants.” Engie said.

“Where’s the BLAAAAACKsmith? I got a keeeeey!” the monster roared with a key on his hoof.

“What’s that key for anyways?” Water asked.

“Where do ya think?” Engie asked sarcastically. “The blacksmith’s house.”

“Got a key, a key to the bla- I neeeeeeed a BLAAAAAACKsmiiiiiiith!” the monster roared.

Meanwhile with Crystal and Rainbow Dash, they were finding themselves located at a large lounge in the manor with a grand piano, two sofas, many lounge chairs, a stone fireplace, and even a grandpa clock. You know, I really don’t get that quote ‘finding themselves’. Were they lost or something? Did they find Faust?

“Alright, the living room! Looks nice, but there’s no TV. I’ll give it 2.5 stars.” Crystal said to Rainbow.

“There’s no party in here it would seem.” Rainbow said. “I still don’t know why we’re trying to find a party. Even Twilight knows that this was just a trick.”

“A Trixie-trick?” Crystal asked.

“Nah, Trixie’s just a show-off, she doesn’t invite ponies to a mansion and leaves them hanging, unless this is a magic trick of some sort.” Rainbow said.

“Hey, Rainbow, wanna know something cool?” Crystal asked.

“Um, sure. If it’s cool, I’m down.” Rainbow said.

Just then, Crystal suddenly grabs a table cloth from a side table with a vase on it and she suddenly pulls the table cloth off from the table yelling “Aaaaaand slide-ski!” but the vase on the table falls on the hardwood floor and shatters.

“Uhhh… how was that supposed to be cool?” Rainbow asked curiously.

“I was actually trying to pull the cloth from underneath the vase without it moving, but no I failed at that, like I fail at paying phone bills.” Crystal explained. “Which reminds me; I still need want to yell at my coltfriend for not calling me for a week.”

“So you broke a vase. What’s the owner or the butler going to think?” Rainbow asked.

“Well the way I see it there are three possibilities.” Crystal said. “Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: It was like that when I got here. Number 3: Sweep it under the rug and hope that whoever walks on that rug is still wearing their horseshoes.”

As Rainbow Dash sighs and looks around the room, she finds a bottle of grape juice on the coffee table. “Oh hey look, there’s a bottle of grape juice on the table.”

“Purple or brown?” Crystal asked.

“Purple.” Rainbow said.

“Ok good, because I’m not falling for that ‘drink the brown grape juice from the toilet’ trick again.” Crystal said. Rainbow picks up the bottle of grape juice and observes it. “What does it say?” Crystal asked.

“It says ‘drink at your own risk’.” Rainbow said.

“Sounds tempting.” Crystal said.

“It does, very much.” Rainbow agreed. “I put my life as risk all the time with my awesome stunts. Drinking this may be an awesome stunt of its own.”

“Well what are you waiting for, Rainbow? Open it up and bottoms up!” Crystal instructed her.

“Now hold on there, Crystal.” Rainbow stopped her. “As much as I love being risky, it never hurts reading the ingredients section first.”

“You’re right, Rainbow Dash!” Crystal said. “We must read the ingredients to make sure there’s not too much sugar or high fructose corn syrup to keep a balanced and healthy diet.”

“Not to mention it cannot have more than 0 grams of trans fat because it’s recommended to have 2 grams of trans fat per day.” Rainbow said. “Also it must be 100% juice for our 100% awesomeness!”

“No doubt!” Crystal said as they both high-hooved each other. This lesson was brought to you in part by Juicy Juice! 100% juice! Also the brand commercial that you haven’t seen since your childhood when you were watching PBS Kids.

“Alright, now that we read the ingredients, it is safe to drink this.” Rainbow said as she opened the cap of grape juice.

“Wow, it seemed pretty easy for you to open that grape juice cap.” Crystal said.

“Of course it was easy! I’m buffed.” Rainbow said as she flexed her right arm. “Bottoms up!” Rainbow begins to gulp down some of the grape juice, and when she was done, she wipes her face with her arm.

“You sure it was a good idea to drink that?” Crystal asked. “What if that bottle was already opened? It isn’t wise to drink a bottle of liquid that’s already been opened. Somepony could’ve drugged it for all you know.”

“Relax, Crystal. I drank a quarter of this grape juice and I feel cool as an igloo.” Rainbow said.

“If that were the case, you must be freezing.” Crystal said.

“Your turn, Crystal.” Rainbow suggested as she leans the bottle of grape juice over to her.

“What? From that same exact bottle?” Crystal asked.

“Of course!” Rainbow said.

“You already put your mouth on it though.” Crystal reminded her.

“Relax, we’re both mares.” Rainbow said.

“I think that rule only applies when getting dressed.” Crystal said.

“No it doesn’t. We don’t normally wear clothes.” Rainbow reminded her as Crystal gives her the ‘you serious?’ look. “Besides now!” she yelled.

“I guess you have a point there.” Crystal said as she takes the bottle and gulps the grape juice down.

“How do you feel?” Rainbow asked.

“With my hooves.” Crystal said as she rubs one of her hooves against one of Rainbow’s cheeks.

“I mean how was the grape juice?” Rainbow asked as she swipes Crystal’s hoof away.

“Ehh, tasted alright. I didn’t really taste any juice.” Crystal said.

“Yeah, neither did I. Tasted really strong.” Rainbow said.

“Well I think I had enough of being in here. Let’s continue finding the party.” Crystal said.

“Yeah, good idea.” Rainbow said. So the two of them began to walk towards the closed door south of them, opened it, and walked inside towards a long corridor.

As they were walking, Crystal asked Rainbow, “Hey Rainbow?”

“Yeah, Crystal?” Rainbow asked.

“Was there always a door on the south wall of the living room?” Crystal asked.

“What are you saying?” Rainbow asked.

“Wasn’t it an open-arch that led to a den of some sort?” Crystal asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t pay much attention to my surroundings unless I’m flying.” Rainbow said as she flew down the hallway aside Crystal.

“Like what you’re doing now?” Crystal asked.

“I wasn’t flying when we were drinking the grape juice, Crystal.” Rainbow reminded her.

“Good point.” Crystal said as the two of them reached the door on the other side of the corridor. When they opened the door and walked through, they ended up right back into the living room.

“Huh?” Rainbow asked curiously.

“Hmm, that’s weird.” Crystal said. “I don’t remember turning around and going back into the living room.”

“I don’t either.” Rainbow said. “Or maybe this isn’t actually the same living room.”

“No it is. I see the pulled off table cloth and empty grape juice bottle on the table over there.” Crystal pointed. “And there’s the broken vase.”

“Hmm, maybe we took a wrong turn. Let’s go back into the corridor and head to the door on the other side of the-“ Rainbow suggested but as they turned around, the door leading to the corridor was gone. “…And the door to the corridor is gone.”

“This is trippy. What was in that grape juice?” Crystal asked.

“Ah who cares? This is awesome! I love tricks like this!” Rainbow said excitedly.

“Trixie-tricks?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Rainbow said. “C’mon, Crystal. Let’s see what other mind-tricks this grape juice given us.”

“Well snap.” Crystal said to herself.

Meanwhile with AppleJack and Fluttershy, the room they went to was the kitchen. The counters were white wood with green marble tops, and the oven and fridge looked like they were from the 1940s. The sink was also a pump. “Whoa-we! This sure is a fine kitchen over here. Reminds me of the kitchen we got at home.” Fluttershy didn’t say anything, but instead stuck close to AppleJack as she was still in fear of the house. “Fluttershy, ya need to calm down. There’s nothin’ wrong with this house.”

“Easy for you to say. You weren’t forced to watch 8 straight hours of horror flicks.” Fluttershy said frightened.

“Ya never told me ya were forced to watch horror flicks.” AppleJack said.

“That’s because it… it happened re-recently.” Flutters said. “WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?!” she yelled as she hoped on AppleJack’s back.

“That was me; ah was movin’ over this cup. Ah didn’t want to drop it.” AppleJack said.

“AAH! WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?!” Flutters yelled again.

“That was me tellin’ ya that was ah movin’ this cup and didn’t want to drop it.” AppleJack said.

“AAAH! What’s that in the cup?!” Flutters yelled.

“It’s… hmm… I have no idea.” AppleJack said as she observes the green substance that was inside the glass. “It’s green so it must be healthy, and as Apple Bloom says ‘disgusting’.”

“I don’t think you should touch it, AppleJack.” Flutters suggested just as AppleJack sticks her hoof inside the glass and feels the green substance.

“Huh?” AppleJack asked.

“It was an unknown substance, AppleJack. W-why did you stick your hoof in there?” Flutters asked.

“Ah just wanted to observe it.” AppleJack said as she takes the green substance out and feels it. “So it’s not a liquid, it’s a squishy solid. Wow… ah feel like Twilight right now.”

“AppleJack, please put that down!” Flutters begged.

“Relax, sugarcube, just feelin’ it won’t cause any harm.” AppleJack said. “For all we know it could be medicine. Maybe ah should give this stuff to Zecora. Maybe she’ll know.”

“AppleJack, you’re scaring me! Please put it down!” Flutters begged as she tries to go for the goo but she trips and falls on AppleJack’s torso which makes AppleJack fall down on her back, and then the green goo starts flying into the air and lands on AppleJack’s face. “AAH! That smarts!”

“Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry, AppleJack.” Flutters said as she helps AppleJack up.

“It’s no biggie, Fluttershy, but still… ah feel funny.” AppleJack said.

“Oh please mean ‘ha-ha’ funny.” Flutters begged to herself.

“What’s… what’s… what’s happenin’ to me… ah feel strange comin’ from my facial region.” AppleJack said.

“Maybe I should get you something to drink. I hope they have something inside a carton in this fridge at the same time fresh.” Flutters hoped as she walked over to the refrigerator to look for a drink for AppleJack. “Ok, AppleJack; I see soda, OJ, purple stuff, Sunny D…”

“Purple stuff is great.” AppleJack said.

“Ok, purple stuff.” Flutters agreed, and when she closed the fridge door, a G1 version of AppleJack appears from right behind it and starts giggling.

“Hi Fluttershy! Would you like to play?” G1 AppleJack asked.

“AAAAAAAAAH!” Fluttershy screamed and then everything faded to black.

Meanwhile with Pinkie and Aqua, they were still in the theater room looking at the strange animatronics that were on stage. Pinkie kept playing around with them while Aqua just observed them suspiciously. “These animatronics are so adorable, Aqua! You should hug this bear with me!” Pinkie suggested excitedly.

“No thank ya.” Aqua said.

“But he’s so warm and cuddly!” Pinkie said as she hugs the bear with the bowtie and hat tightly on her grasp. “Oh no, actually, he’s cold and hard. I can see why you didn’t want to hug him.”

“If ya say so, Pinkie.” Aqua said as he turns around and sees the chicken animatronic right in front of him. “OH MY LUNA! WHAT THE?!” Aqua starts backing up startled by the jump scare.

“What’s wrong, Aqua?” Pinkie asked.

“The duck!” Aqua said.

“Chicken.” Pinkie corrected him.

“Ugh…” Aqua groaned. “The chicken. It just moved right in front of me.”

“Are you sure? Or maybe you just moved it there.” Pinkie reminded him.

“No, it just appeared right in front of me.” Aqua said.

“Whoa! That’s trippy. Perhaps these robots wanna play a game with us!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Well this is definitely one game I don’t want to play.” Aqua said.

“But Aquaaaaaaaaaa!” Pinkie whined. “It’s a game and games are supposed to be fun!”

“This game doesn’t sound like fun to me though. I’m leaving.” Aqua said as he began to walk out.

“Hey wait up! It’s no fun being alone!” Pinkie cried out as she follows Aqua out.

“Ya got that right.” Aqua agreed.

“Why are you being such a boring mcboring pants?” Pinkie asked.

“A what?” Aqua asked.

“You know, somepony’s that’s probably related to Twilight.” Pinkie said.

Aqua was silent for a moment and he gave Pinkie a concerned look. “What?”

“I have no idea how to make my statement any simpler.” Pinkie said.

“WHAT THE?!” Aqua yelled as he saw a small curtain open slightly against the side wall with a fox’s head sticking out. “I didn’t see that before.”

“Oooo it’s cute pirate foxy!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Not cute. Spooky. Very, very spooky.” Aqua said.

“Looks cutie to me!” Pinkie said.

“Well not to me.” Aqua said.

“Your opinion doesn’t matter to me.” Pinkie said as she smiled at him.

“Let’s get outta here.” Aqua said as he rushed towards the door and Pinkie followed and once they opened the door, the bear bot was standing right in front of them and screeches.

Aqua screamed, but Pinkie just cried “Yay!”

Meanwhile with Blaze, he was still in the dressing room looking for Rarity, still not knowing why she disappeared all the sudden. “Rarity? Rarity where’d you go? I swear to Celestia, Rarity, if you don’t come out in the next five seconds, I’m gonna throw this dust on your mane so bad that you’re going to need 15 baths!” Blaze threatened.

In the same exact room however, Rarity was there and looking around. “Blaze? Dear where did you go? You just vanished on me and I strongly dislike it entirely!” Rarity said angrily but scared.

“Rarity, where are you? I’m the only one in this room and there’s no hiding place. You just vanished! I can’t see you, nor hear you!” Blaze said.

“Blaze, darling, why did you have to vanish on me? I can’t see you or hear you? I’m in this same exact dressing room all alone and you’re not here. There’s no hiding places, and my legs are really getting tired!” Rarity whined.

Meanwhile with Spike, Tiny Box Tim, and me, we went inside a humongous room filled with statues and paintings. “Looks like the pony that owns this place has a great flair for art.” Spike said.

“What?” I asked.

“What?” Spike asked.

“You just said my name, what?” I asked again.

“I didn’t say your- oh… shut up.” Spike chuckled a bit.

“Tiny Box Tim here is chuckling too.” I said.

“Flare, I think you should stop with that.” Spike suggested. “I mean, I like Tiny Box Tim and all, but he’s making you all loco and I want it to stop.”

“Well I’m sorry, Spike, but if you don’t like it, you can go somewhere else, we won’t mind. I can’t abandon my little biscuit here.” I said.

“It creeps me out, dude.” Spike said.

“Oh lookie, there’s a big door on the other side of the room.” I pointed out. “It looks important. We should see where it leads to.”

“First smart thing you said all night.” Spike mumbled to himself. So once the two of us walked over to the door on the other side of the room, I pulled on it, but it was locked.

“Ooo, locked.” I said.

“Looks like we need to find the key.” Spike said.

“Doesn’t always have to be a key, Spike. It could be a password, it could be a keypad, a scanner, or maybe it involves a sacrifice.” I reminded him. “If it’s a sacrifice, Tiny Box Tim and I volunteer you.”

“Niiiiiice.” Spike said sarcastically.

“Well if it’s a key, maybe it’s in the….” I suddenly look to the side of me and see a door that leads to a closet. “Oh maybe there’s a spare key or crowbar in the storage area. I’ll go first.”

“How do you know that’s a storage area?” Spike asked.

“It’s labeled on the door.” I pointed.

“Manors and their door labeling.” Spike said. “I guess it’s for the best. It’s easy to get lost in a place like this.”

So once I walked over to the door, I open it up slightly and the door makes a slight creek. It was dark inside, but I did see a few boxes from the light in the corridor we’re in now. “Actually, Tim, you scout on ahead.” I throw Tiny Box Tim inside the storage room and after I wait a few seconds I ask “Is it dangerous?” and then I said in a high-pitched voice “It’s ok!” and then back to my normal voice, “Thank you, Tiny Box Tim!” So Spike and I then walked inside the storage room to see if we can find a key that leads to the big door.

Meanwhile with Psyche and Twilight in the attic…. Umm….. I can’t really explain what they’re doing up there. I’ll just give you the dialogue. “Hey Psyche, check this out. I found an old book on astronomy; I thought you’d be interested.”

“If you thought I’d be interested you obviously don’t know me.” Psyche said to her.

“Are you not interested?” Twilight asked.

“Oh I am, but you just don’t know me if just ‘thought’ that, like you’re assuming.” Psyche said. “Besides, I got plenty of astronomy books at home I don’t even use. I just use the internet. I take the easy way out.”

“I don’t know why. Books are classic. The internet is just…. how do I explain it without talking garbage about it?” Twilight asked. “The internet is complete garbage.”

“How dare you, Twilight?!” Psyche asked insultingly. “The internet is the way of the future! You can just search something and BOOM you got it!”

“I know, but it isn’t the exact experience and pleasure as in to read actual print.” Twilight said.

“Takes longer though.” Psyche said.

“Ok you know what? I’m not going to argue with you.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, you’re right, Twilight. I guess I got a little carried away. Too each their own, am I right?” Psyche asked.

“Of course.” Twlight agreed.

“Now how about we both take a look at that book and- OW!” Psyche yelled as he began to walk towards Twilight away from the coffin he was leaning on.

“Whoa! What’s wrong, Psyche?” Twilight asked.

“I think I… wait… what?” Psyche asked as he looked down at one of his hooves. “That can’t be right… ow!”

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked.

“I seemed to…. step on a mouse trap.” Psyche said.

“Huh.” Twilight said as she looked down at saw the mouse trap on Psyche’s hoof. “So it is… wait… Psyche, the picture!”

“Yeah this definitely something out of the Twilight Zone.” Psyche said as he looked at the photo of him stepping on the mouse trap. “It seems to be on the same hoof as well.”

“Wow… a camera that predicts the future.” Twilight thought. “Still… I believe it’s a coincidence. I don’t think a camera like that even exists.”

“Oh yeah?” Psyche asked as he steps back and leans on the cupboard.

“Pretty much.” Twilight nodded.

“Then here, let me take a picture of you and you can prove me wrong.” Psyche suggested.

“Whoa there, Dr. Illusion. You think that camera is haunted but you decide to use it on me anyway? Doesn’t seem very logical if you ask me.” Twilight said.

“If I can do it, it’s logical. Now gimmie a big smile.” Psyche instructed her as he takes the picture and the photo slides out of the slot. “Alright, now take a look at this photo and tell me what tragedy awaits you.”

“Fine then.” Twilight said as she takes the photo out of the slot and observes the photo, but she seemed a little more confused than shocked.

“What? Is it an airplane falling on you? Is it your eyes exploding? Or maybe it’s the .MOV version of you; yeah I bet you wouldn’t like that.” Psyche smirks at her.

“Actually… I’m not in this picture.” Twilight said.

“What are you talking about?” Psyche asked.

“Look.” Twilight shows Psyche the photo and it just shows the background of the attic; not Twilight.

“That’s odd. Did I miss you or something?” Psyche asked.

“No, you were aiming directly at me. That seems pretty odd.” Twilight said and she began to think.

Psyche looked down onto the floor and started to think as well, and then he said “It would appear that his camera may be able to predict the future. I mean, I don’t know for sure because we only seen the camera’s effect once and like you said, it could be just a coincidence. I mean no piano fell on me yet, and there was no zombie either; only the mouse trap near the coffin happened so far…. but this photo here… I don’t understand. Nothing tragic happened to you; you’re not even there… unless… you’re not there… hmm…” after a few moments of thinking, he started to get a theory of the climax of the situation. Wow, listen to me; I’m speaking nerd just like those two! And not the cool type of nerd that plays video games all day, I mean the kind of nerd that spends more time thinking than even a full eight hours sleep. “Twilight, I think I might’ve found a…” but before Psyche could continue talking, once he looked back up, Twilight wasn’t there.

“Twilight?” Psyche called out, but there was still no answer. “Twilight are there? I know you’re not the type of pony to be making these jokes. If I were with Pinkie, or any of my friends that is not Aqua, then that would be a different story.” Psyche finally faced the fact on what that photo with Twilight not in it represented. “This photo isn’t just a picture of Twilight not in it…. this photo means… Twilight… vanished.” Psyche was frightened on what the camera is capable of, so he started shaking nervously, and then, out of the blue, the cupboard behind him opens and a zombie pops out and grabs him. “Nice try. I saw that coming.” Psyche said mischievously to the zombie. “I just figured out what this camera does and I am not impressed.”

“Well you’re no fun then.” The zombie complained.

Meanwhile in the basement, Water and Engie were still down there with the big monster that kept complaining about where the blacksmith is. The monster keeps complaining and knocking junk over in the basement, and even sticking his head in the washing machine and lifting it out and swinging his wet hair around which Water kinda liked, but she was still frightened. “Why is he using the key on that ladder?” Water asked.

“Where’s the BLAAAAACKsmiiith!” the monster said as he pounds his key on a ladder.

“What is he doing with that rake?” Water asked.

“Where do I use this raaaaaaake?” the monster asked grumpily. “WHERE do I use this raaaaaaake? I’m gonna use the rake on the ladder!”

“Why is he using the rake on the ladder?” Water asked.

“UUUUUGH! I’m gonna take these aaaaaasheeeees!” the monster said as he picks up a pile of ashes.

“WHY?! What does he need them for?” Water asked.

“I’m gonna use them on my faaaaaace.” The monster said as he rubs the ashes all over his face.

“This guy gives me the creeps, Engie.” Water said.

“Are ya kindin’? Ah love ‘em!” Engie said.

Meanwhile with Rainbow Dash and Crystal, once they walk through the long corridor from the living room, they go through a second door which leads them right back it. “Great! We’re back here again! Are we going in circles or something, or is this some type of paranoia?” Rainbow asked.

“What’s wrong, Rainbow Dash? Scared?” Crystal asked mischievously.

“Do I look scared to you? I’m just concerned.” Rainbow said.

“Oh good ‘cause….” Just then Crystal starts to shake. “I am!”

“Of course you are.” Rainbow said. “Here, let’s just go through a different pathway. We should lead to somewhere else.”

“Lead the way, Dashie.” Crystal said. So Rainbow leads the two of them through another door and they went into another corridor but this was really different than the corridor they were just in. These walls are red! Yes, it’s a huge difference to the walls of the corridor they were just in. When they got to the door on the other side of the corridor, the door begins to instantly slide down further.

“What in the world?!” Rainbow asked shockingly. As the door was sliding down further away from Crystal and Rainbow, Rainbow flies up and begins chasing the door, but no matter how fast Rainbow was going, the door was always ten steps further away from her. Rainbow decided to use one of her tricks to help her get closer to the door so she flies down to the floor, jumps, and eventually she finally makes it to the door and opens it, but once she opens it, the door doesn’t lead anywhere but the wall. Rainbow bumps her head on the wall and her face flattens.

Just then, Crystal walks over to Rainbow who was laying down on the floor with a flat face and she said, “Seeing your face like that, you’d make a good bar stool, Rainbow Dash.”

As soon as Rainbow regains her senses, she stands up, shakes her head real fast and her face returns to normal. “UGH!” she groaned. “What sort of trickery is this anyway?!”

“Trixie tricks.” Crystal said.

“C’mon Crystal, be serious. Not even Trixie can make tense magic like this.” Rainbow corrected her.

“How do you know? When was the last time you seen her?” Crystal asked. “And the robotic Trixie and brainwashed Aqua doesn’t count.”

“Trust me, I know.” Rainbow said.

“Hey how about we take the door on the floor right there?” Crystal suggested as she points to a door on the floor. Door on the floor, heh. Sounds like something Dr. Suess would make.

“It’s probably going to take us back into the living room. How about we keep walking?” Rainbow suggested.

“You know, I think I might have a solution to our problem.” Crystal said as she takes out a remote from her costume pocket and presses a button on it. Once she presses the button on the remote, a yellow line suddenly appears on the floor.

“What’s that?” Rainbow asked.

“This here is the Crystal Iceblast Adventure Line.” Crystal explained. “We just follow the line. How simple is that?”

“Seems trippy but I can’t think of anything better.” Rainbow said.

“Exactly! Now come forward, Rainbow Dash! Destiny awaits!” Crystal said as she begins marching on the adventure line, and Rainbow just followed along by flying with an annoyed look on her face and her front legs crossed.

Meanwhile with Fluttershy and AppleJack, G1 AppleJack kept on freaking out Fluttershy. “C’mon, Fluttershy! We should go an adventure, and make cupcakes, and I should give you a nice big lick on your cheek, since we’re both animals and it’s not weird at all!”

“What kind of monster would make ponies like these? They’re freaks of nature!” Fluttershy said frighteningly.

“We must defeat Tirek from taking over the pony land!” AppleJack said.

“I don’t even know who that is… and judging by the name, I hope never tooooo!” Fluttershy weeped.

Meanwhile with Aqua and Pinkie, as they were walking around the corridors of the manor trying to avoid that stage, Aqua was still a little frightened, but Pinkie just hopped in joy. “I don’t know why we had to leave that room. Those cute animatronics seemed to be really fun! Weren’t they fun, Aqua?”

“Yeah… sure… if ya say so, Pinkie.” Aqua said as he kept on the alert. “Hey Pinkie. Ever get that feeling ya’re bein’ followed?”

Pinkie gasped. “ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I get that strange feeling that Rainbow Dash is following me with a thunder cloud and try to scare me, but when I look upper-behind me,” Pinkie twists her neck all the way back and looks up, “I then realize… I was wrong! Hee hee… except that Dashie is a great trickster and she ends up right in front of me and strikes lightning and then I’m like-“ Pinkie then inhales a huge gasp.

“I’d probably do that too.” Aqua said.

“Oh that wasn’t the reason I was gasping, Aqua.” Pinkie corrected him. “That bear is following us.”

Right in front of Pinkie and Aqua was the bear from the stage area, just standing there and staring at them. “Oh crud!” Aqua said.

“Exactly! That’s what I said when Dashie popped up in front of me with that rain cloud!” Pinkie said.

“Get in ‘ere!” Aqua ordered her as he opens the nearest door and jumps inside.

“Why? It doesn’t look that fun in there.” Pinkie said as Aqua suddenly tugs on Pinkie’s arm to pull her inside with him, and then he slams the door shut. “Jeez louise, Aqua! You could’ve just asked me to come in here!”

“Sorry, but these animatronics are creepy!” Aqua said.

“Oooo look over there. Tons of TV shows we can watch!” Pinkie said as she points to a wall of security monitors in front of her. “I wonder if Supernatural is on?”

“I don’t think these are TV shows, mate. I think these are security monitors.” Aqua corrected her.

“Pffft! Like you know what technology is.” Pinkie teased.

“I know enough to know what the basics of technology are called at least.” Aqua said.

“Hey, Aqua! It looks like the animatronics want to be stars!” Pinkie pointed to the monitors to see that different rooms of the manor had each of the animatronics had each of the animatronics in them and they just stare at the security cameras.

“As if I thought they didn’t get any creepier.” Aqua said.

“Hey check out the foxy that’s peeping his head out of the side curtains!” Pinkie pointed.

“I have the feelin’ we’ll be safer in here. As long as we know what these animatronics are doin’ we should be able to prepare for them.” Aqua said.

“And you don’t even ask what’s up with everypony else. You go straight on worrying about us. What’s wrong with you, Aqua?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh crud… everypony else. I hope they’re not goin’ through this.” Aqua hoped.

“Hey check out the foxy!” Pinkie pointed to the fox from the theater room is out of his theater and is just tilting its head sideways while staring at the camera.

”Well at least the fox is slow. We should think of a plan for getting out of here.” Aqua explained. “Now Pinkie, keep on eye on the cameras, and I’ll take a look outside to see if I can find a safe way out.”

“Hee hee! Check out this photo of Gummy.” Pinkie shows a picture of Gummy on her phone to Aqua. “See Gummy? He’s wearing a mini track suit and sandles. Get it, Aqua?”

“Pinkie, ya’re supposed to be watching the cameras.” Aqua reminded her.

“See, it’s funny because track suits are for running… but nopony could run with sandals!” Pinkie explained and laughed. As Aqua was peeking out the door, he begins to hear footsteps… footsteps that sound like they’re running. “Hey, where did the foxy go?” Pinkie asked as she looked at the monitors. Up ahead, Aqua sees the fox animatronic running towards Aqua and Pinkie.

“Whoa!” Aqua gasped as he shuts the door quickly and barricades it with a cupboard. Sheesh, how many cupboards does this manor have? “Phew.” Aqua wipes his sweat in relief. “I don’t think even that fox can get through here now.”

“Well he seemed to give up. He’s back at his original stage peeking out of the curtains.” Pinkie points out.

“Oh good. We should be safe for now, but we have to think of a plan. I have no idea what’s going on with those animatronics but we need to get the others and leave this place.” Aqua said.

“How do you even know those animatronics are bad? They may just want a hug!” Pinkie corrected him.

“I strongly doubt it.” Aqua said. Just as Aqua turns around to look at Pinkie, the bear animatronics from before was inside the room, but he was gold and looked empty, like it was an empty suit, but it was standing up and facing Aqua with his empty eyelids. “WHAT THE BLOODY H IS THAT?! WHAT THE BLOODY H IS THAT?!” Aqua cried out for the first time in ever.

“Whoa, Aqua! I never heard you scream like that before! In fact, I never heard you scream in my entire life! You’re normally calm.” Pinkie said excitedly. Aqua quickly grabs Pinkie’s hoof and they both run into the closet in hoping they don’t reach them, and Aqua uses his magic to grab the door knob to stop it from turning. It was dark in the closet, and Pinkie was a bit curious. Also, since it’s dark, it looks like their eyes are floating.

“Aqua what’s your problem? Why are you running from these animatronics?” Pinkie asked.

“Did ya see that golden bear come in?!” Aqua asked.

“I know! It was a huge surprise to see him just poof in that room like that while we weren’t looking! It was so much fun!” Pinkie said excitedly as her eyeballs rolled around the whole room. It’s Pinkie, what can you expect?

“Well my magic is holding the door. We need to find a way out.” Aqua said.

“We can just use the closet door, silly, and then move the cupboard and walk on over to the front door. Simple as that!” Pinkie explained.

“No, Pinkie, it is not that simple. Those animatronics are haunted and they probably want to kill us.” Aqua said.

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting, Aqua?” Pinkie asked.

“I just do what I do to keep us safe.” Aqua said.

“Well we’re safe in here, aren’t we?” Pinkie asked. Just then, a couple of flashing eyes appear in between Pinkie and Aqua and a music box begins playing in the background.

“Seems we cannot catch a break.” Aqua said, and then right after, all of their eyes flicker and everything fades to black.

“This is fun!” Pinkie said excitedly.

Meanwhile with Spike, Tiny Box Tim, and me, we went inside the storage room to look for the key to the big door. I used my flares to light up the room and there was just piles of boxes in the room, two cupboards on the other side of the room, and one knight ponikin (ponified manikin) next to the cupboards that was starting to freak me out. “Ugh…. I don’t like ponikins that much, man.”

“Seriously? You didn’t seem to have a problem with them when we went back in time.” Spike reminded me.

“Didn’t I, Spike? Didn’t I?” I asked him. “But Tiny Box Tim here would keep me safe. Won’t you?” I then said in a high pitched voice, “You’re not my original owner, Flare, but any friend of mine is mine of mine.” I then said in my normal voice, “Tiny Box Tim, this is why you’re so fun and adorable! Mmmm!”

“Ugh!” Spike rolled his eyes and groaned.

“Maybe whatever we need is in one of those cupboards.” I thought as I walked over to the cupboards on the other side of the room. I opened the left one, but it was completely empty. “Hmm… not this one. Let’s this one.” I opened up the right side, and inside the cupboard was a smaller cupboard. “Whoa… what?”

“Now THAT is trippy.” Spike said. Wish I had a bit every time I heard somepony say something is ‘trippy’ throughout this chapter. I opened up the smaller cupboard and there was an even smaller one inside it, so I opened that one up, and then another, and then another, and then another until I reached a cupboard that was not even an inch big.

“Oh that is so adorable!” I said. “It’s Tiny Box Tim’s personal cupboard!” I opened up the smallest cupboard and inside was the key. “Bingo! Good job, Tiny Box Tim! You never seem to fail me!”

“Well let’s get to the door then and we might be able to find our party roo- WHOA!” Spike yelled as we both turned around and the knight ponikin duplicated into 20 of them in this room.

“WHOA NO! NO! NO YOU DON’T DO THAT TO ME!” I yelled. I picked up Tiny Box Tim and then I cautiously began to walk out of the closet. “Umm… hello…. Excuse me. Coming through here….. I do not wish to d-disturb you all. I’ll just… be on my- AAAAH!” I screamed once I got out of the closet (lawl) and I saw a bunch more ponikins in the corridor and even some blocking the big door. “WHOA, FORGET THIS! I’M OUTTA HERE!”

“Flare!” Spike yelled.

“NO! NO DON’T EVER USE PONIKINS ON ME! FUN IS FUN, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH!” I yelled. “I AM OUTTA HERE!” Once I ran over to the door at the end of the corridor, water falls began to appear on all of the walls in the room. “Ok the waterfalls are fine, but NEVER ponikins!”

“Even if it means drowning?” Spike asked.

“I’m a good swimmer and you look like a water dragon more than a flying dragon anyway. I mean look at you, no wings, but those things on your ears really look like fins.” I explained.

“A water dragon?! Pffft! I’d never be one of those freaks of nature! Besides, they don’t breathe fire like I do.” Spike said as he sighs out some fire. So as the two of us looked around the room, it looked like the water falls were getting closer to us, but the weird thing was, the room wasn’t flooding out and on the other side of the room was a grunt from Amnesia.

“Oh hello there.” I said to the grunt. “You don’t scare me. At least I can’t see the ponikins with all these water falls anymore.”

“What’s with you and the ponikins? Like I said before, they didn’t seem to bother you when we went back in time.” Spike reminded me.

“They DID, Spike.” I corrected him. “I just didn’t let it bother me that much because it was a Doctor Who moment, but this is Nightmare Night at a haunted manor. Pretty much the only things that scare me is ponikins, jump-scares, and the worse one: loneliness.”

“Wow…” Spike said shockingly.

“Wow indeed. The grunt is getting closer.” I pointed out.

“Eh, I’ve seen scarier.” Spike said until the golden bear animatronic appears right behind Spike. “AAAAH! WHAT THE LIVING FAUST IS THAT?!”

“Golden Freddy, huh? I must admit he’s the creepiest of all the animatronics but I actually went as him as a cosplay at a convention once.” I said.

“That thing is creepy!” Spike said.

“Did you just ignore everything I said? I JUST said it was creepy.” I reminded him. As Spike was looking at me and then he looked back, the Golden Freddy was gone and water falls surrounded us, and when we looked down there was a sewage drain that suddenly opened and the three of us started falling.

“AAAAH!” we both screamed as we fell.

“Save me Tiny Box Tiiiiiiim!” I yelled. “AAAH SPIDER! Huge spider! Still not as scary as ponikins.” As we both fell down into the sewers, we land in a flowing river and pass many scary things, but the scariest thing of all was when we landed into a flooded and tilted corridor. “I lost Tiny Box Tim!” I yelled. “NOOOOOOOOOO! I had him, I had him in my arms!”

“Well, good reddens.” Spike said in relief.

“NO! Nothing will get between me and Tiny Box Tim!” I yelled as I picked up a random box from the flooded-tilted floor.

“How about that box you just picked up? Looks pretty adorable.” Spike said.

“NO!” I yelled as I threw the box aside. “It’s not the same!”

“Ugh…” Spike groaned.

“Yeah, I hear you, brother.” Kiff said as he sighed.

“Kiff! Quit your sighing and fly this ship back into orbit!” Zapp Brannigan ordered him.

“But sir, we’re not in our ship anymore, and we’re underground.” Kiff reminded Zapp.

“That’s what the enemies want you to think.” Zapp said suspiciously.

“C’mon, Flare, let’s just get outta here.” Spike said as he began to walk through the flooded and tilted corridor.

“Tiny Box Tim…” I mumbled sadly. “You’ll always have a place in my heart.”

Meanwhile with Crystal and Rainbow, they continued to follow the adventure line that Crystal summoned. Rainbow was getting a little bored from gliding over the line, so she began to complain like the impatient pegasus she is….. oh I hope she didn’t hear that. “Crystal we’ve been walking through this line for 10 minutes and we’re not going anywhere!”

“Oh we’re always going somewhere, Dashie. There is always a destination… or a journey.” Crystal said.

“What in flippin’ sky are you talking about?” Rainbow asked.

“You know what I think? I think we should have a little music to help calm our nerves.” Crystal said as she turns on her iPod and it began to play journey music with trumpets, tubas, bells, and there was a chorus going “Bum ba-ba bum ba ba ba-ba.” Crystal continued to march as she sang along with the song, and Rainbow Dash just annoyingly flew as she followed her. “That is much better, huh Dashie?”

“Oh sure. I’m having a blast.” Rainbow said sarcastically.

“That’s the spirit! Destiny still awaits us! High-HO!” Crystal yelled. So as the two of them continued to march / fly down the confusing corridors. The reason they were confusing was that the adventure line went into a mail room with a bunch of filing cabinets and there were nothing but columns in that room, but in between two of the columns was a huge corridor that only led to the other side of the columns which really confused Rainbow Dash but Crystal didn’t seem to care. The music continued as they marched and followed the adventure line. After a while goes by, they end up passing a small hallway and then the music stops and Crystal said, “Hang on, cut the music for a moment. Let’s go back and look at that fern.” Crystal and Rainbow reverse a few feet and they take a look at an office fern near a couple of tall windows. “Rainbow, this fern plays an important part later on. Please observe it carefully.”

“Why?” Rainbow asked.

“Because if you don’t, you’re not gonna get the next part of our adventure.” Crystal said.

“I ALREADY don’t get it!” Rainbow complained.

“Quit your loungin’, Dashie, it’s time to get marchin’!” Crystal said as she started up the music again and continued to march down the confusing corridors. As they continued to follow the line, the adventure line was zig-zagging through two-door offices and going around corners and even going through the ceiling, but both Crystal and Rainbow had wings so they were about to go through the ceiling easily. Oh B-T-W, the ceiling is one of those office ceilings with the removable rectangles.

“Crystal, is your adventure line alright?” Rainbow asked.

“The adventure line is always right.” Crystal said excitedly.

“Because your line seems to be confused.” Rainbow said.

“The adventure line is never confused.” Crystal said as she began to have an attitude.

“I think we’re going the wrong way.” Rainbow said.

“The ADVENTURE LINE is NEVER wrong!” Crystal said angrily at her.

“Are you sure about that, Crystal? Because seemed to be right back where we started.” Rainbow pointed out as the adventure line led them both back to the door on the floor. “We just went in a circle.”

Crystal looks around the room and then she said angrily to Rainbow once again, “THE ADVENTURE LINE IS NEVER WRONG!”

“So you really think we should go through that door on the floor?” Rainbow asked.

“If it’s what the adventure line says, then we should put in our trust towards the adventure line.” Crystal said.

Rainbow sighs and said, “Fine. It’s not like I have a choice.” So the two of them open the floor door and jump on through, and then suddenly they both start falling and they end up right onto the floor of the manor’s lobby. “Hey… it worked! We’re back into the lobby! We made it! Woo hoo!” Rainbow flies up in excitement, but then her excitement immediately slows down. “Wait… unless this is another paranoia.” Just then, the two of them began to hear a slow clopping noise, and up ahead they find Engie siting on a lounge chair clopping his hooves together with a smile on his face.

“Well done Rainbow Dash and Crystal! Mission accomplished!” Engie said.

“Wait… what?” Crystal asked.

“AAAH! HELP! KEEP HER AWAY!” Fluttershy yelled as she runs into the lobby and jumps on Rainbow Dash, holding her tight.

“Fluttershy, what’s your problem?” Rainbow asked. But that is not all of them, Blaze and Rarity begin to run into the lobby.

“Guys!” Blaze cried.

“Darlings!” Rarity cried.

“I can’t find Rarity! She just disappeared on me!” Blaze cried.

“I can’t find Blaze! He left me in an icky ol… iick… dressing room all alone.” Rarity said.

“But aren’t you two right there?” Crystal asked. Just then, Blaze and Rarity both observe the room confusingly.

“What are you talking about? I don’t see him / her.” Rarity and Blaze both said at the same time.

“Guys, I need your help!” Psyche said as he entered the room. “Help me find a place to bury this camera. It’s BAD news, man!”

“Wait where’s Twilight?” Rainbow asked.

“AAAAH! GOLDEN FREDDY!” Blaze yelled as a Golden Freddy just appears in the middle of the room.

“Don’t ask.” Aqua said from inside the suit.

“Wow, it sure is dark in here. Maybe I should hide my secret stash of candy in here- uhh, I mean… meow!” Pinkie said from inside the suit as well.

“Aqua? Pinkie? What are you two doing in that awful looking suit?” Rarity asked.

“Didn’t I just say don’t ask?” Aqua asked. Just then, the middle of the rug began to grow a giant bulge, and the bulge in the rug began to moan.

“AAH GHOST RUG!” Crystal yelled as she began to whack the bulge in the rug with a chair.

“OW! OW! OW! HEY, THAT SMARTS!” I yelled from inside the rug.

“Flare?” Crystal asked.

“And Spike.” Spike said as him and I remove the rug from the top of our heads and below us was an opened sewage drain.

“But no Tiny Box Tim.” I said sadly.

“Ah’m so glad ya all enjoyed this little game ah made.” Engie said.

“What are you talking about, Engie?” Psyche asked.

“Allow me to explain everything.” Engie started. “Blaze… Rarity… the two of you can’t see each other, but we can is a magical drug you smelled in the dressing room. It makes you two invisible by your own eyes, but to the ponies that weren’t in the room.

“So Rarity’s right there beside me?” Blaze asked.

“Blaze is right there beside me?” Rarity asked at the same time as Blaze.

“You both are correct!” Engie said. “Don’t worry, the drug will wear off in a few minutes.”

“Well, be sure to tell Rarity, I am sorry for deceiving her.” Blaze said.

“Blaze said he can still smell your stench even though he can’t see you or hear you.” Crystal said to Rarity.

“WELL I NEVER!” Rarity yelled in an insulted tone.

“I DID NOT say that, Crystal!” Blaze corrected her.

“Well tell Blaze that is may not be the stench of me, but the stench of his horrible body odor!” Rarity angrily instructed Crystal.

“I’d see you even if you were invisible, Rarity!” Spike said close to her face.

“Ugh… Spikey-poo? Remember that little talk we had?” Rarity asked as she holds her nose.

“Oh, right.” Spike understood as he takes out a Tic-Tac and swallows it.

“And Psyche, this camera…” Engie started, “ah suppose ya can say it’s the real deal, but it’s only coincidences.”

“What?” Psyche asked.

“If ya really want Twilight back…” Engie takes the photo Psyche took of Twilight that showed her not there and he tore it up.

“Psyche? Psyche where are you?” Twilight asked as she walked into the lobby from the den. “I fell in a trap door and… oh there is everypony!”

“Twilight! Thank goodness you’re alright!” Psyche said in relief.

“Well you can expect as much after I fell on a mattress at the bottom of a trap door, but still, a mattress can still do harm to your body even from falling a great amount of lengths.” Twilight said.

“And sorry about the animatronics Aqua and Pinkie, but ya know how ah am with technology.” Engie said.

“Why are you sorry? That was fun!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Can ya get us out of this suit?” Aqua asked.

“With the proper equipment, it can be done, but ah don’t have them with me right now. Sorry.” Engie said in a teasing voice.

“Yippie! This is great, Aqua! I feel like we’re bonding real nicely!” Pinkie said. “Hey, Aqua? Is it ok if I take this suit after we’re out? I need it for… stuff… not candy stuff, just… stuff… I mean meow.”

“Hey everypony! Who wants a hug?” G1 AppleJack asked as she entered the room.

“UGH! That’s hideous!” Rarity said in an uncomfortable.

“Relax, it’ll wear off in a half-hour.” Engie said. “That’s pretty much what gak does to a pony’s face.”

“Gak? You mean that stuff that everypony kept talking about we came back from the Crystal Empire?” Spike asked.

“Precisely!” Engie said.

“People would make memes with anything these days, even a piece of goo that’s been around since your childhood days of Nickeloden, and now people can’t stop talking about it.” I said.

“They say the gak was more of a villain than King Sombra.” Spike said.

“I somewhat agree. He wasn’t around that much.” Rainbow said.

“But what about this key, Engie? What about the big door and those ponikins?” I asked.

“The ponikins were teleported there and the key IS actually for the big door.” Engie explained.

“So all that remains is what’s behind the big door.” I said, but I cannot do that on this chapter, sorry. I have no more time so I guess I’m leaving you in suspense there. Lawl at you.

“Oh and ah almost forgot! The butler! Yeah he’s also a robot.” Engie said.

“Oh I completely forgot about that butler.” Aqua said.

“Well… ah hope you all enjoyed my Nightmare Night simulation party!” Engie said.

“I must admit, Engie. You got us good. It takes a lot of effort to take a lot of time to set this up just for your friends.” Blaze said.

“And even though it was pretty realistic, and sometimes even though we feel we want to murder you because you scared us half to death, you still put in a lot of effort to make us scared, which is what this holiday is all about.” Psyche said.

“That’s what ah was aimin’ for, partners.” Engie smiled.

“What a minute, where’s Water?” Twilight asked.

“Right here.” Water said as she was being grabbed by the monster from the basement.

“I WILL MURDER YOUR FACE!” the monster yelled as he throws Water at me and we both fall to the floor. The monster then grabs the key I got from the storage room from one of my pockets. “Gimmie your key! Is this the key to the BLACKsmith?”

“I dunno what you’re talking about.” I said as I rubbed my head in pain.

“My name is MARKIPLIER!” the monster said as he started walking away along with Tiny Box Tim on his back.

“TINY BOX TIM!” I cried. “GIMMIE BACK MY LITTLE BUSCUIT!” I then tackled the monster in hoping to save my little biscuit, but I lost epically. Little did I know that this dude was Tiny Box Tim’s original owner.

Anyways, I hope you all have an awesome Nightmare Night! Get lots of candy and if you live in Mexico, honor the dead. Special thanks to one of my favorite YouTubers Markiplier for guest starring in my story, go on youtube.com/markiplierGAME to check out his work, and as always… I will see YOU… in the next chapter! Bye-bye!

Oh and Psyche gets smashed by a piano. “AAAAH!” he cried. “STUPID CAMERA!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4NSUjknYn0

Author's Notes:

This is a complete remake of the first Nightmare Night chapter I made. This chapter wasn't really easy to make because I got bored and I kinda rushed on some parts which I apologize for, but I didn't want to make this chapter TOO long. The old Nightmare Night chapter didn't make much sense, it was stupid, and there were alot more characters than this including the Doctor, Derpy, Bonnie, Lyra, and even Shining Armor and Cadance, but I took them out and it's just the Mane Six, Noble Six, Water, and Spike.

The main purpose of this chapter is to reintroduce the relationship between the Mane Six and Noble Six and see them all split up with their own little side-stories; a little bit like the So-Soest Night Ever. This is pretty much the last time I'm going to have this scenerio because I always get bored and it takes me forever to complete the chapter.

The Sisters Dash

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Can I have mustard on that? Sweet; thanks! Oh, wait, did I just say that? My apologies, my friends, let us continue the story. Our story starts off at my trailer; I was just getting my Cheetos ready for a whole day of playing Trouble in Terrorist Town with my best friends! What better way to spend a Saturday? So I started up my Steam and started up Garry’s Mod, which took approximately 10 minutes to finally load the main menu.

“This is it, fishies! The break I deserve! I miss spending a whole day playing video games!” I said excitedly to my fish. “Ever since I moved to Ponyville it was either my pizza shop or friendship lessons. Today was the day for neither! Just me playing Trouble in Terrorist Town with my friends, the Noble Six!”

“He’s friends with a Call of Duty character?” Rainbow asked.

“No, I think you got that mixed up. I think Noble Six is a Battlefront character.” Yoyo corrected him.

“You’re both wrong; he’s the antagonist of I-Spy Spooky Mansion.” Darrel corrected them.

“What are you talking about, Darrel?” Yoyo asked.

“What are you talking about, Darrel?” Darrel copied him.

“Garry’s Mod does take an awful long time to load.” I said.

“Ooooooh we’re all wrong. He’s a character of Garry’s Mod.” Rainbow said.

“Pfft! Boys and their video games.” Pearl said to herself.

“Pffft! Fish and their conversations.” Piddles said to himself.

“Pffft! Piddles and his will to kick me out of this tank.” Piddles’ reflection said to himself.

“I HEARD THAT!” Piddles yelled to his reflection as his reflection continued to copy his every move once again. “STOP THAT! I know you’re not like any other reflection!”

Just then, my Steam chat began to ring. It was Engie requesting a group chat, so I accepted. “Sup brahs?” I asked.

“Hey Flare!” Crystal said.

“So we all here?” Blaze asked.

“I believe so.” Psyche said. “Aqua? You there?”

“I guess.” Aqua said.

“Don’t worry, Aqua. Y’all will get used to your new laptop soon.” Engie said.

“I hope so, mate.” Aqua said. “But I sure do love it, thank ya, but I can’t seem to activate the aquarium when I want it to.”

A cutaway shows Aqua using his new laptop for the first time, but he was spending approximately 20 minutes trying to think of a password, but after 5 minutes of not moving the mouse and keyboard, an aquarium screen saver pops up. “Oh cool! Wind Racer, check this out!”

“What is it?” Aqua’s sister Wind Racer asked as she walked over to her brother and looked at his laptop.

“Check this out!” Aqua said.

“Wow! What program did you use?” Wind Racer asked.

“I don’t know, this program just popped out of nowhere.” Aqua said. “It’s probably one of those ads that Engie warned me about.”

“Whatever ad this is, it’s pretty awesome!” Wind Racer said excitedly. “I like that blue fish swimming by! Looks like Dory from Finding Nemo.”

“I like this program; it’s very pretty.” Aqua said.

“Maybe if you type down ‘shark’ a shark might come.” Wind Racer suggested.

“Good idea.” Aqua agreed, but just when he types ‘S’, the screen saver goes away.

“Oh hey, where did it go?” Wind Racer asked.

“I don’t know; it just closed on me. It’s probably one of those crashes Engie mentioned.” Aqua thought. The cutaway ends.

“So we ready to play Trouble in Terrorist Town?” I asked.

“Can you get back on me on what it’s about?” Crystal asked.

“Ok, we play as a group of Terrorists from Counter-Strike, and one or a couple of us are traitors to our clan.” I explained. “We need to find out who the traitor or traitors are before all the innocent terrorists die. Don’t worry, we all respawn after the match ends, and then a new group of traitors get chosen and has to kill everyone before time runs out. This keeps going on and on until we get tired and rage quit. Everyone get it?”

“Just to clarify, Flare, there is so such thing as an innocent terrorist.” Psyche corrected me.

“Thanks for that info, Psyche. I hope you’re the traitor in the first round.” I complained.

“Do we say who’s the traitor?” Crystal asked.

“No, it’s a complete secret to you, and if you die and go to spectator mode (meaning you fly around the map and watch everything), don’t tell us who the traitor is because you’re a ghost; we shouldn’t hear you.” I explained.

“Ok I think I get this. Let’s start up a server.” Crystal said.

“Engie’s got a server.” Blaze said.

“Yep, ah’m sendin’ y’all the code.” Engie said. So Engie sends us the server code via Steam chat and we all head into Engie’s TTT server on Gmod. The map Engie chose was a Minecraft replica map.

“Oh cool, Minecraft.” Aqua said. “I love playin’ that game. I made little minions that look a lot like Squidward.”

“Yeah we saw that on your Facebook, partner.” Engie informed him. So we all spawned in the game and began running around.

“Ok, first question: who’s the traitor?” Crystal asked.

“We don’t even know yet, Crystal.” Engie corrected her. “We spawned but the traitors weren’t selected yet. Give it 20 seconds.”

“Sounds like something a traitor would say.” Crystal said mischievously.

“Wha- Crystal, ah… nopony’s the traitor yet!” Engie repeated.

“A-BOOM!” Crystal yelled as her character kills Engie’s character.

“CRYSTAL?! We didn’t even start yet!” Engie yelled.

“Relax, Engie, you’ll respawn when the match starts.” I informed him. Just then, the match started and Engie respawned.

“Ah had an M249 though.” Engie said.

“Engie, the M249 isn’t as effective as it sounds.” Psyche informed him.

“Ah know that.” Engie said.

“If you knew that, you wouldn’ve picked it up.” Psyche teased.

“Psyche, I REALLY hope you’re the traitor in this round.” I said.

“Perhaps I could be a traitor and you may not even know it.” Psyche teased.

“Oh? Is that an admission of guilt?” I asked as my character aims his gun at his character.

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” Psyche said mischievously.

“Oooo, Psyche’s good.” Blaze said impressively.

“Aqua’s been pretty quiet. Got something to confess, Aqua?” Crystal asked mischievously.

“I’m always quiet.” Aqua said.

“Exactly! Traitors are always quiet.” Engie said.

“What makes ya think I’m the traitor just because I’m quiet?” Aqua asked.

“Hmm, sounds pretty suspicio-WHOA!” Engie yelled as he started laughing.

“What happened, Engie? Did you die?” Blaze asked.

“Ah cannot answer that question; ah’m dead.” Engie informed him.

“I found his body.” Psyche said. “Turns out Engie was innocent.”

“You found his body, huh Psyche?” I asked mischievously. “Sounds pretty… suspicious.”

“Just because I found his body, that automatically means I killed him?” Psyche asked.

“Awww.” Blaze said sadly.

“Yeah I heard that. Ok who was shooting with an automatic shotgun?” Crystal asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said as I replaced my automatic shotgun with a sniper rifle.

“Hmm… Flare?” Psyche asked mischievously.

“Flare did ya kill Blaze and Engie?” Aqua asked mischievously.

“What sort of question is that?” I asked.

“Mmmhmm. Yeah, I think we should get Flare.” Aqua suggested.

“Yeah, maybe we should.” Psyche agreed.

“Don’t you dare come near me! I’ll shoot you!” I yelled.

“Yeah ‘cause you’re the traitor.” Psyche said.

“No, because of self-defense.” I corrected him.

“Uuuuuuuh huh.” Psyche said.

“What you don’t believe me?” I asked.

“Uuuuuuuuuh huh.” Psyche said in the minute of my sentence.

“Get away!” I yelled.

“Uuuuuuuuuuh huh.” Psyche said again.

“Why don’t you believe-“ I was about to ask but Psyche cuts me out with another ‘uuuuuuuuh huh’.

“AAAAH!” I yelled as my character dies.

“Oh Aqua, I wasn’t actually going to shoot him, but ok.” Psyche said.

“I didn’t shoot him.” Aqua corrected him. Psyche walks over to my character’s corpse and examines it.

“Oh? Flare’s innocent.” Psyche said.

“Huh… I wonder.” Aqua said.

“It’s Crystal then.” Psyche said.

“No! No! No! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Crystal yelled.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!” Psyche yelled in the middle of Crystal’s yelling.

“NO! You have no proof of it!” Crystal yelled.

“Prepare to die, Crystal Iceblast.” Psyche said mischievously.

“STAY BACK!” Crystal yelled as she shoots Aqua’s character, and then a sign pops up saying the innocent win.

“OH!” Psyche yelled as everypony started laughing. “It was Aqua! It was Aqua the whole time!”

“Yep! Ya got me.” Aqua said as he chuckled along, but not as hard as us.

“See?! Ah told-ja the traitors are ALWAYS the quiet ones!” Engie said.

“Engie saw right through me.” Aqua said.

“That was awesome! Alright, next round!” I said excitedly. So the round starts and we all gathered our weapons and prepared ourselves for our next traitor.

“Hey what are the odds of me becomin’ traitor again?” Aqua asked.

“Very slim. Very Slim-Jim.” I said.

“It’s still possible though, right?” Aqua asked.

“Normally how this game works is that everypony gets at least one turn to be a traitor but in a pacific order.” I said.

“Got it. So all I should do is hide, right?” Aqua asked.

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” I said. “If we all stick together, the traitor would have hard time trying to kill us all.” As I was separated from everypony from the other side of the map, I began throwing grenades all around the map. Even though I was innocent, I wasn’t directly killing them so it doesn’t count.

“AAAH! Who threw that?!” Psyche yelled. “Blaze you’re right there, was that you?”

“Was what me?” Blaze asked. I began to chuckle to myself as I continued to throw grenades.

“Ok so it wasn’t you. I just felt it again.” Psyche said.

“Who’s spamming grenades?” Blaze asked.

“I dunno.” Engie said.

“Is that an admission of guilt, Engie?” Crystal asked mischievously.

“Maybe it was Aqua.” Blaze said.

“I was traitor already last round.” Aqua reminded him.

“So who keeps throwing grenades?” Blaze asked as I ran around the map. “Flare is that you?”

“What about me?” I asked.

“Are you throwing grenades?” Blaze asked.

“You have any evidence to support that?” I asked as I jumped in a hole that leads into a tunnel, but my character dies right after I fall in. “Oh.”

“What are you ‘ohing’ about, Flare? Admission that you’re a terrorist?” Psyche asked mischievously.

“We’re all terrorists, partner.” Engie reminded him. “The traitor, ah guess is a terrorist.”

“Whatever, man.” Psyche said.

“Where is Flare anyway?” Aqua asked.

“I’M DEAD!” I said.

“You’re dead?” Blaze asked.

“I’M DEAD! Crystal killed me!” I said.

“I DID NOT!” Crystal yelled.

“CRYSTAL! GET OVER HERE, CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled as everypony began to chase her character down to kill her.

“Stay away!” Crystal yelled as she laughed. “I didn’t do anything!”

“TRAITOR!” Engie yelled as they all kill her character and we all began to laugh, but I laughed the hardest because Crystal was shown to be the traitor.

“HA! Crystal didn’t actually kill me, but you all fell for it!” I laughed.

The next round came and we were all preparing to see who would be the traitor next. “Flare’s going to be the traitor next round. Called it.” Psyche said.

“Oh really, Psyche?” I asked.

“Yeah, you’re preparing so that makes you the traitor.” Psyche said.

“Ok yes, I’ll call it. I’ll be the traitor.” I said, even though it’s not our decision to make. The traitor gets picked at random.

“You’re going to be the traitor in 7 seconds.” Psyche said.

“I’ll defend myself!” I said as I started to get nervous.

Psyche began to count down, “4… 3… 2…”

I started screaming and when the round started; I shot him before he could shoot me, and the round was already over. Innocent win. We all started laughing really hard. I was so hyper that I was clapping my hooves and jumping around my seat. “QUICKEST… ROUND… EVER!” I cried out in laugher and as I was laughing, I was squeaking.

The next round started and everypony was picked innocent and traitor already. I was just walking around when Engie said, “Hey partners, lookie here. No gun. So ah cannot be a traitor.”

“Uh huh.” I said as I started spamming grenades around the map again.

“Hey!” Engie yelled. “Aqua’s the traitor! He just shot me!”

“No I didn’t.” Aqua corrected him. “That was a grenade, not a gunshot. It was not me.”

“It was not me.” I lied.

“It was not me.” Crystal said.

“Yeah nopony believes you Crystal.” I teased her.

“I’m pretty sure nopony believes you either, Flare.” Crystal said.

“They believe me more than they believe you though.” I said.

“It’s true.” Engie said.

“Hey Aqua, I see you looking at me.” I said to him.

“Yeah, hi.” Aqua said.

“Hey, Aqua!” I said as an explosion occurs near him.

“What the?” Aqua asked.

“What happened, Aqua?” I asked as I threw more grenades around.

“Somepony threw a grenade.” Aqua said.

“Yeah who keeps doing that?” Blaze asked.

“I think I might have a clue.” Psyche said.

“We’re all on the same page here, right? Crystal?” I asked.

“It’s NOT me!” Crystal said.

“Everything is your fault, Crystal.” I teased.

“Yeah, sure, blame it on the girl.” Crystal complained as she chuckled. “Trust me, if I was the traitor, I would’ve killed you already Aqua. Since you’ve been next to me the entire time.”

“Uhh, that sounds pretty traitorous of you, Crystal.” I said.

“Yeah, for sure!” Blaze agreed.

“Yeah totally, Crystal. Be careful of what you say.” Psyche said.

“Hey Flare!” Blaze said as his character walked towards me and climbed the roof.

“Hey Blaze!” I said. “I trust you, man.”

“I trust you too…. Kinda.” Blaze admitted as Engie climbed on the roof as well.

“Whoa, Engie! I don’t think I could trust you, brah.” I said as I backed away from him.

“Y’all can trust me. Ah don’t have my weapons out. Ah’m holstered.” Engie said.

“Me too.” Blaze said.

“Ok so I guess I will as well.” I said as we all holstered ourselves.

“Hey ya have a nice ear piece, partner.” Engie said as he observed the character I was playing as and my character had an ear piece on him.

“Oh thanks, Engie! Your’s does too- AAAAH!” I yelled as Blaze shot us both with a shotgun, and then Engie and I started laughing. “Wow! Are there only two left?”

“And then there were two.” Engie said.

“Who else died?” I asked.

“Me.” Aqua said. “Somepony kept spammin’ grenades.”

“Oh… well… sounds like something only a traitor would do.” I said.

“It’s Crystal!” Engie called out as Crystal begins shooting at Blaze, and after Blaze’s defeat, the innocent win.

“Why must you all always blame everything on me?!” Crystal yelled as she takes out her Magneto Stick and begins to swing around Blaze’s body.

“Because you always seem suspicious.” I said.

“Crystal what are you doing to my body?” Blaze asked as he laughed.

“Your body belongs to me now, Blaze.” Crystal said mischievously. “I like playing around with your body.”

“Crystal you’re sick.” Psyche laughed.

After we all respawned, Crystal began to follow me. “Crystal… what are you doing?”

“Come back here, Flare. You’re traitor next round.” Crystal said.

“Stop! Get away from me!” I freaked out.

“Stay where you are, Flare.” Crystal instructed me.

“NnnnnnNO!” I said.

“Yeah Flare’s definitely going to be the traitor.” Psyche agreed.

“NO!” I yelled.

“Flare’s a traitor everypony! Everyone go get him!” Psyche teased.

“NO! Get away! I don’t even have a gun!” I yelled as everypony began to follow me.

“Where is he?” Engie asked. “Oh hey, Flare!”

“NO!” I yelled.

“Gonna gang up on Flare, huh?” Aqua asked.

“NO!” I yelled. “No not you too, Aqua!”

“Get ‘em!” Engie yelled.

“I don’t even have a gun! Get away from me!” I yelled as I ran into a house, picked up ammo, but that was about it, and I ran back out.

“Where is he?” Psyche whispered.

“I’m nowhere. Go away!” I yelled as the round started and everypony began shooting at me. “AAAAH! Stop! NO! Dah! Oh! GET AWAY FROM ME!” I began screaming and running around like a maniac until I finally died and the innocent won. Everypony began to laugh. “Aw gah-darn it! You didn’t even give me a chance!” I complained as I laughed along. “You didn’t even give me a chance!” Just then, everypony began to shoot at my dead body, pick me up with their Magneto Sticks, swung me everywhere and threw my body in a pit and kept shooting it. “Wow…” I said shockingly. “I didn’t realize you all hated me so much!”

“It’s how the game works, my friend.” Blaze said.

“Blaze?” Rainbow Dash asked as she walks in on Blaze playing TTT.

“Oh hang on, guys. Gonna be AFK for a sec.” Blaze said as he mutes his microphone.

“AK?! WHERE?!” Crystal yelled.

Blaze takes off his headset and turns his chair towards Rainbow. “What’s up, babe?”

“What are you doing, sitting around the computer playing games?” Rainbow asked.

“Well today was the day my friends and I decided to all play a game together all day long. My friends all have been working too much lately, and with the holidays coming up soon, we decide to relax a little bit before-hand.” Blaze explained.

“But didn’t you promise me that we were going to go flying today in this nice cool weather?” Rainbow asked.

“Since when did I promise that?” Blaze asked.

“Last night while we were both brushing our teeth together.” Rainbow said.

We flashback to last night to see Rainbow Dash and Blaze both brushing their teeth and Blaze said with the tooth brush in his mouth, “Ey ‘Ainbow.”

“Eah?” Rainbow asked with a tooth brush in her mouth too.

“I ‘oona ‘e i-ing fumarrow all shay so ‘ou al’ight wi’ hat?” Blaze asked.

“Mosh ‘efinitaly. Sounds awefume.” Rainbow said.

“Good. Also ‘ets funk fonight.” Blaze said.

After Rainbow spit the tooth paste out of her mouth and asked, “What did you say?”

After Blaze spit his tooth paste out too, he said, “I said let’s funk tonight. Equestrian Idol is coming on tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to watch it?” Blaze asked. The cutaway ends there.

“I didn’t say I was going to fly tomorrow. I said I was going to be playing tomorrow… which is actually today now.” Blaze corrected her.

“Well then… I see…” Rainbow said in an unhappy tone.

“What?” Blaze asked.

“Nothing.” Rainbow said.

“No, tell me. You’d rather us fly together today? I can tell my friends we can do this another time.” Blaze said.

“No… no… you’d rather play with your friends. I can see that.” Rainbow said with an attitude.

“No, I’ll stop for now and do this another time.” Blaze said.

“No, I don’t mind.” Rainbow said.

“Yes you do.” Blaze corrected her.

“Yes I do. I do BIG TIME!” Rainbow agreed.

Blaze chuckles and shakes his head. “My little Dashie.”

“Your little me.” Rainbow blushed and said.

Blaze puts back on his headset, unmutes his mic and said, “Sorry guys, the wife wanted us to have a playdate today.”

“Yeah isn’t that what we’re do—UGH! Dang it, Psyche!” Crystal yelled as the traitors win that round. Psyche began to chuckle mischievously.

“Thanks for the distraction, Blaze.” Psyche said to him.

“So yeah, I’m going to have to sit this game out, guys.” Blaze said.

“No worries, brah, but we’re going to continue to play.” I said. “I didn’t take this day off not to spend time with my friends, you know.”

“I understand, man.” Blaze said.

“Have fun with Dashie and feel free to join us when you have the chance. You know the password to our private server.” I said.

“I do.” Blaze said.

“Cya around, Blaze.” Engie said.

“Cya!” Blaze said as he logs off.

“So where to then?” Rainbow asked.

“Well since you might be at the Wonderbolts Academy in a little while, how about we head over there and see if you can master the tracks before even getting accepted?” Blaze suggested.

“Sounds awesome! Lead the way, Goldheart!” Rainbow said mischievously.

“Might as well get used to the view of my behind since that’s what you’re going to be seeing next time we race.” Blaze said mischievously.

“Oh is that a challenge I hear?” Rainbow asked.

“Could be. Want us to race to the academy?” Blaze asked.

“You know I never refuse a race!” Rainbow said as she begins to hover towards the ceiling.

“Do you even know where the camp is?” I asked.

“Of course I do!” Rainbow said.

“Even though you never been there before?” Blaze asked.

“Pfff!” Rainbow raspberried. “Anything the Wonderbolts may know, I’d know just as much if not better!”

“If not better?” Blaze asked.

“Don’t judge me by my grammar! Grammar’s for nerds like you and your friends, B.” Rainbow teased.

“Oh a nerd, huh?” Blaze asked. “Ready to put your mouth where your mouth is?”

“HA! Even if that made sense, YOU’RE ON!” Rainbow yelled.

“Then let’s do this, babe!” Blaze yelled as the two of them kissed their own hooves and then bumped those exact hooves together.

Meanwhile back on the game, we were just starting up our next round. “I think we’re even now, Flare?” Psyche asked. “You killed me at the start of the game and I killed you? Well, actually you killed me much faster.”

“Oh thanks, Psyche! I thrive myself to be the fastest around.” I said, and then I mumbled, “That’s what she said.” Everypony started laughing.

“I don’t think that’s a good thing.” Psyche reminded me.

“Nyeh!” I whined as I began spamming grenades again while Aqua was right next to me. “You all stink! You all stink!”

“Thank you, ah find that as a compliment.” Engie said.

“Wow, someone’s already throwing grenades?” Crystal asked.

“I’m the terrorist!” I mumbled in a deep voice. “I AM the terrorist!”

“He’s an innocent. We all know that.” Aqua said.

“Who’s turn is it to be the terrorist?” I asked.

“We’re all terrorists, dude.” Psyche reminded me. I then gasped real loud.

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!” I yelled. “WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!”

“It is Trouble in TERRORIST Town.” Psyche reminded me.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” I said as I hanging around inside of a house along with Aqua. “Hey Aqua, you a terrorist?”

“No… not that ya know of.” Aqua teased.

“I believe you Aqua. I believe you.” I said.

“Do you believe me?” Crystal asked.

“Oh goodness NO!” I said.

“Yeah ya cannot be trusted.” Aqua said.

“Oh now you’re taking his side? I thought you don’t like taking sides, Aqua?” Crystal asked.

“Only in real life conflicts. This is just a game.” Aqua said. “I’m pretty sure this game won’t ruin any of our friendships.”

“You say that now.” I said as I throw a grenade at him.

“Whoa… what was that for?” Aqua asked as he ran away from the grenade.

“Aqua… Aqua, I trust you.” I said as I threw another grenade at him.

“If ya trust me, why do ya keep throwing grenades at me?” Aqua asked as the first grenade explodes.

“I… I… I just truck you- I MEAN trust you.” I stuttered. “I truck you. I semi-truck you. EEEH EEEEH!” I made a semi-truck horn noise.

“Hey who threw a smoke grenade out here?” Crystal asked.

“Ah did.” Engie said mischievously.

“Oh, alright.” Crystal said as I throw a smoke grenade outside.

“HEY!” Engie yelled as a gunshot was fired and I threw another frag grenade outside and Engie began to laugh.

“What’s going on out there?” Aqua asked.

“I dunno.” Crystal said.

“Crystal you cannot be trusted.” I said.

“Yeah keep away from us.” Aqua said as Crystal walked inside the house Aqua and I were in and she began shooting us.

“HEY! HEY! WHOA! WHOA! Crystal!” I freaked out.

“What? I didn’t do nothing.” Crystal said.

“That means you did something.” I reminded her.

“Nope. Double-negative. You lose.” Crystal corrected me as she continued shooting at us and we started shooting back but taking cover in between shots, plus the smoke from the smoke grenade was still out there. Crystal stopped firing for a moment which got us a bit confused.

“Is she dead?” Aqua asked.

“Yes, she’s dead.” Engie said.

“Probably you or Aqua are the traitors then.” Psyche said. Once my character walked outside to check if the coast was clear, Crystal turned out to be still alive and she continued shooting at us.

“HEY! HEY! PSYCHE, ENGIE, YOU LIED TO US!” I yelled as the three of them started laughing. “You two are big fat liars!”

“Not big-fat, man. I’m skinnier than all of you.” Psyche reminded us.

“Shut up!” I yelled at him as I laughed. “I don’t wanna hear another word from your lying mouth!” Just then Crystal comes inside the house and shoots us again. “HEY! Get out of our house! This is Aqua and mine’s house! Right, Aqua?”

“Sure, if ya say so.” Aqua said. “Is Crystal dead yet?’

“I dunno, is she?” I asked as I shoot Aqua and kill his character.

“What?!” Aqua asked surprisingly.

“Oh woops. It wasn’t you then.” I said.

“I trusted ya, mate! Ya said ya trusted me too!” Aqua said.

“I’m sorry!” I yelled as I shoot Crystal and innocent won that round. Everypony began to laugh again.

“Wow! How many times has Crystal been the traitor?” Engie asked.

“You know, I don’t think Engie’s been a traitor yet.” Psyche said.

“Ah’m always a traitor, Psyche.” Engie said as he shoots Psyche’s character right at the end of the round.

“Oh wow, Engie. Really? Right at the end of the round?” Psyche asked.

“Relax, ya’re gonna respawn in a few seconds.” Engie said. Well, that was fun, but this story isn’t mainly going to take place in this game; we’re going to be following Blaze and Rainbow for a majority of this chapter. So Blaze and Rainbow went over to the Wonderbolt Training Camp. My buddy Blaze Goldheart was doing a few test runs and practicing for his next air show. Rainbow Dash was his training coach. Blaze flew through the obstacle course one time and Dashie was timing it seeing if he can make a record.

"Wow, 14 seconds! Not exactly 10 seconds, but it'll do." Dash said looking at the stop watch.

"Thanks! I really need to get ready for our next show." Blaze said flying down to her.

"Even though your next show isn't for a couple of weeks now. Going to the extreme is awesome, but sometimes you need to relax once and a while." Dash said squirting water in Blaze's mouth. He swished the water and spit it out in the ground. “Umm, I was giving you that water to drink, not spit, but ok.”

Meanwhile, back down at Ponyville below, a pony by the name of Caramel was trotting around the streets below but suddenly felt a water drop land on his head. Back up at the training camp, Blaze said, "I know, but I can't lose my touch. I gotta train hard. If I relax, I might go soft."

"Blaze, I love you, but you won't go soft, I know it." Rainbow said putting her hoof around him. "You have to relax. It's almost the holidays, a time for relaxation. Don't worry; you'll be back on your hooves in no time after that. Trust me."

"Well, if you say so, babe." Blaze said.

"That's my stallion!" Rainbow said giving Blaze a nuzzle.

“Are you sure you wanted to nuzzle me in public? It’s so unlike you.” Blaze asked.

“Relax, the only pony around is Derpy and her eyes aren’t even facing us.” Rainbow pointed out as Derpy’s right eye pupil (from Derpy’s point of view) was facing down-right and her left eye was facing up-left. Just then, Derpy’s right eye pupil moves up and her left moves right. “Oh one of her eyes is looking at our direction. Quick, act awesome!” Rainbow instructed Blaze as she poses much like Zeus right before he throws a lightning bolt.

"Hey, you got any family that's coming down?" Blaze asked.

"I dunno. My parents said they'd be busy all weekend. I'm probably on my own." Rainbow said.

Blaze chuckled. "Nonsense, you'll have me!"

Rainbow giggled along. "Besides you, Blaze. I mean, they used to always have the time for me. Ever since I started living on my own they just don't have time for me anymore, in fact, they don't tell me anything anymore.”

"Rainbow, I'm sure your parents are thinking about you all the time, I bet they feel sorry for not telling you, but they might be going through personal issues right now too." Blaze said, trying to comfort her.

"I dunno Blaze. It's just not like them." Rainbow said.

"Rainbow, you listen to me." Blaze said putting his hooves on her shoulders. "You are the most inspiring and loyal pony I know, and they probably don't wanna go through risking their lives to see their little filly as an Equestrian hero. You hold the Element of Loyalty, and hey, there might be ponies after you. But don't worry, Dashie. I'll be here to make sure nopony lays a hoof on you."

"Thanks, Blaze. You're awesome!" Rainbow said to him.

"Sooooo, race ya home?" Blaze asked.

"I dunno, I'm feeling a little beat." Rainbow said with a yawn.

"But I was the one doing the entire fast flying and working out. How are you beat?" Blaze asked.

"Watching you and keeping up the time can take alot out of ya. If you were one that doesn't usually like to count, you'd understand." Rainbow said with a smile.

"Alright, well then, mares first." Blaze said moving out of the way letting Rainbow lead the way to home.

"If you insist. Race ya!" Rainbow laughed and flew out in a sonic speed.

Blaze laughed along. "Oh Rainbow Dash, you're such the trickster sometimes!" He followed her home. Time went by, and Rainbow beat Blaze at her house. She landed softly on the cloud laying on it and a few seconds later, Blaze caught up with her.

"Oh there you are, Blaze! What took you so long?" Rainbow asked and giggled.

"Now I would expect Pinkie or Flare to do a trick like that; I didn't think you had it in you." Blaze said, catching his breath.

"If you haven't noticed, Pinkie taught me to be an awesome prankster. The one way to win a race is to catch your opponent unguarded. Make them think that you don't wanna race, but then you just start it when they least expect it." Rainbow said.

Blaze chuckled. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"So what are we going to do tonight?" Rainbow asked.

"I dunno, probably go back on Trouble in Terrorist Town.” Blaze said.

“Since when did you become a huge computer whiz?” Rainbow asked.

“Since I signed the Friendship Agreement.” Blaze said.

Rainbow chuckled. “Of course. I should’ve expected that!”

"I know!” Blaze chuckled along.

“I swear the only pony I know that takes those Friendship Agreements seriously is Pinkie Pie.” Rainbow said.

“Pinkie Pie taking something serious? Now THAT’S a first.” Blaze teased.

“I know Candy Cotton wouldn’t put up with it!” Rainbow chuckled but stopped quickly and covered her face.

“Wh-what’s wrong, Dashie?” Blaze asked.

"Oh, umm… you know would be SUPER awesome? If we combined our unique elite flying abilities to create a sonic rain-of-fire! I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time!” Rainbow said.

“What?” Blaze asked.

“A sonic rain-of-fire! Won’t that be fun?” Rainbow asked as she chuckled in embarrassment. Wow, there’s so much laughing going on in this chapter! I know I made this story to make fans laugh, but I never expected everypony in this series to laugh so much.

“Yeah… it does…. But…. What’s going on?” Blaze asked.

“Nothing. What’s going on with you?” Rainbow asked.

“Who’s Candy Cotton?” Blaze asked.

“Umm… I asked you a question first. You have to answer it.” Rainbow instructed him.

“Who’s Candy Cotton?!” Blaze yelled.

“Wow, you lose your temper waaaaaay too easily, Blaze. You need to chillax once in a while.” Rainbow suggested.

“Rainbow… who’s Candy Cotton? Please tell me.” Blaze instructed her.

Rainbow was silent for a few moments, but she couldn’t delay his question any longer, so she sighed and said, “She’s my sister.”

“Your what?” Blaze asked.

“My sister. Candy Cotton is my little sister.” Rainbow said.

“Little sis- wait what?!” Blaze asked in shock. “Since when did you have a little sister?!”

“Since… when I was like… 10.” Rainbow said.

“So let me get this straight… you have a 10 year old little sister and you never told me about her?” Blaze asked.

“It’s a long story, Blaze.” Rainbow said.

“Can you tell me it?” Blaze asked.

“Blaze, have I ever told you how happy I am that I married you?” Rainbow asked. “So far nopony is upset about that. Your worst fear never came true.”

"Except me." a voice said.

“Uhh… what was that?” Blaze asked.

“So you finally remember me, huh?” the same voice said. A little filly walks slowly out of the shadows and it reveals to be Scootaloo.

“SCOOTALOO?!” Blaze yelled. “YOU’RE RAINBOW DASH’S SISTER?!”

“Huh… no, but I WISH!” Scootaloo said.

“Wait… didn’t you just say…” Blaze thought.

“I didn’t say anything before I walked out of the shadows. I’m just here to tell Rainbow that we’re having a meet for her fan club at 5 this afternoon. You’re going to be there, right Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo asked her.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, squirt!” Rainbow said as she noogied her.

“AWESOME! See you there!” Scoots said excitedly as she headed off.

“How did she get on our cloud anyway?” Blaze asked.

“I said those things.” The same voice as before said as another filly walks out of the shadows at the opposite end of the cloud. This filly looked like filly Rainbow Dash except she’s pink with a blue mane, and no cutie mark.

“Why do we have so many shadows on our cloud?” Blaze asked.

“Well, well, well… look who finally remembered me.” the filly said angrily.

“Candy Cotton… what are… what are you doing here?” Rainbow asked.

“I’ve always been here, Dashie… I’ve always been here. Every single weekend I’ve been here to see you, thinking if you remembered to call me, seeing ALL THE FUN you have with your friends, and leaving me to mom and dad.” Candy explained angrily.

“Uhh… what’s this about?” Blaze asked.

“Perhaps it is time I explained everything, Blaze.” Rainbow said. “You see-“

“Rainbow Dash is ashamed of me because she thought our parents paid more attention to me instead of her. Well guess what? After I was old enough to know what 1+1 is, THEY NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME ANYMORE!” Candy yelled.

“Really?” Rainbow asked.

“No, not really.” Candy said sarcastically. Blaze just makes a ‘really?’ face. “What’s his problem?”

“If he gets annoyed he makes that face.” Rainbow said.

“Oh… well then. Rainbow Dash, I feel ashamed to call you my sister.” Candy said.

“But why? You’re lucky to have an awesome sister like me! I’m the best flier in Equestria, I’m the Element of Loyalty, I saved Equestria from two mighty foes, and soon I’m going to be one with the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow explained.

“Not if you keep saying it like that.” Blaze said.

“I believe those are other reasons for you to be the worst.” Candy said.

“What do you mean?” Rainbow asked.

“You NEVER have time for me!” Candy said. “You never come and visit me, you don’t call, you didn’t even respond to my friend request on Facebook!”

“I don’t normally go on Facebook.” Rainbow corrected her.

“Yeah, sure… that’s what they all say.” Candy rolled her eyes in irritation.

"Now Candy, I’m pretty sure if you two talked this out,” Blaze started, “I’m sure we’ll find a way to-“

"Shut your mouth, you freak!" Candy yelled at Blaze.

"Freak?!" Blaze asked angrily

"Hey Candy, you can't talk to your brother in-law that way!" Rainbow demanded.

"He ain't my brother in-law, he's just a freak! A half-pony, half-dragon freak!" Candy said.

"Wow, that hurts, that really hurts." Blaze said.

"Yes he is your in-law; I married him." Rainbow corrected her.

"Oh really? Do you have any proof of your marriage?" Candy asked.

"Um, our rings, duh! They're under our wings, see?" Rainbow said lifting her wing revealing the ring. Oh I rhymed!

"Those could be fake. I can't see any proof since I wasn't there." Candy said.

“They’re not fake, and I’m sorry you weren’t there, but I never knew you existed!” Blaze reminded her. “I just knew just now that-“

"Shut your big Barbque mouth, I wasn't talking to you!" Candy yelled at him. "You're different! You're part dragon, and nopony likes you!"

"That is not true! I have alot of friends!" Blaze corrected her.

"Why didn't mom or dad say anything about you coming?" Rainbow asked.

"They did actually. You never listen! They wanted me to come here to see you. My life felt like there was something missing, my big sister Rainbow Dash. But instead, I see a selfish rainbow pegasus that's married to a freak of nature!" Candy yelled.

"Candy, please...." Blaze tried to get her attention in the most friendly way possible.

"SHUT UP!" Candy yelled at him. "I don't believe you Rainbow. Mom and dad were right, you're selfish and you're a liar."

“Candy, I’ll be the most awesome sister ever if you could just gimmie a chance!” Rainbow explained.

“As far as I'm concerned, I HAVE NO SISTER!" Candy yelled.

“Well then, I guess we’ve reached an impasse.” Rainbow said angrily. “Ok sure, I never talk about you because I thought our parents loved you more than me. They kicked me out of the house on my 18th birthday! What kind of love is that?”

“It’s all lies you picked up over the years. It’s all stubbornness and lies for you!” Candy yelled.

“UGH! I don’t have to put up with this!” Rainbow yelled.

"Oh yeah?!" Candy yelled.

"YEAH, SO HOW ABOUT YOU GET LOST KID!?" Rainbow yelled.

"I WILL!" Candy yelled with tears in her eyes. She flew away faster than Rainbow while she was still racing.

"Rainbow, I can't believe you just let your sister go like that." Blaze said.

"What are you talking about? She's not my sister. I have no sister." Rainbow said. “Didn’t you hear her say that?”

"You’re just angry. Calm down!” Blaze instructed her.

"Blaze.... I really didn't get any messages from them. Trust me, I'd know." Rainbow corrected her. Blaze was confused.

"But.... Rainbow?" Blaze asked. Rainbow then started gliding inside her house, covering her eyes.

"Just leave me alone." she whined and once she went inside, she closed the door behind him. Blaze felt bad about the fight and since Rainbow needed to calm down, Blaze decided to look for Candy. Blaze asked a few pony folk in town to see if they seen a pink filly go by and eventually, Blaze found her alone in the Ponyville playground. Since it was dusk, the sun was almost set, there were no kids there. He found her alone on the swing, crying. Blaze glided over to her slowly.

"Uhh, hello Candy?" Blaze tried to get her attention.

"What do you want?" Candy asked angrily.

"Listen, I'm sorry about what Rainbow said earlier. She’s just stressed out right now. Going through a bad time.” Blaze explained.

"And?" Candy asked.

"And I'm sure if you two just gave eachother a chance, maybe you two will get along fine." Blaze said.

"I don't think so, Blaze. Rainbow never talks to her family and she hates me.” Candy said.

"But Candy, don't you see? Rainbow Dash is the element of Loyalty." Blaze said.

“Oh yeah? Then why doesn’t the Element of Loyality wanna be loyal to her family?” Candy asked.

“Wow… I ditched my friends on TTT for this?” Blaze mumbled to himself. He then said to Candy, “But she is loyal to her family. She doesn’t have to talk to them to make her loyal. I am sure she’d respond to ANY family emergency.”

“THIS IS a family emergency, Blaze! I need a sister! I have a splinter on my hoof and I need somepony to kiss it and make it better.” Candy whined as she shows her splintery hoof at Blaze.

Blaze gave Candy that ‘really?’ look again. “So all this just for a splinter?”

“The splinter? Oh the splinter is the easy part, Blaze. It’s what’s in here.” Candy said as she places her hoof on her chest.

“In your heart?” Blaze asked.

“Actually in my lungs. I miss breathing her air.” Candy said. “Her awesome, dare-devil-like air.”

“Ok that’s just creepy.” Blaze said.

“I don’t think you have a sister, Blaze, so I don’t think you know how it feels.” Candy said.

“I guess not.” Blaze said.

“I don’t get it, man. I guess Rainbow thinks being a hero is more important than her own family." Candy said sadly.

"No, that is not true! She told me she really hasn't heard from her parents." Blaze said.

"Lies! All lies!" Candy yelled.

"Look, just give Rainbow one chance, just one!" Blaze begged. "Please, Candy? Rainbow just went through alot. I'm sure maybe you both had a bite to eat, maybe you can talk this over with her. Please Candy!?”

Candy thought it over for a moment and then she nodded, "Alright, one chance. Where should I meet her?"

"Meet us over at Flare's Pizza Parlor in an hour. I promise you won't regret this, Candy." Blaze swore.

Candy sighed. "Fine."

"Alright, so I'll see there!" Blaze said and flew off.

"Wait! Where is... oh nevermind." Candy complained but he was too far away.

As Blaze was flying he said to himself, “I need Candy and Rainbow to make peace, but to do that, I’ll need Flare’s help. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to be happy about this; but then again, he’s always happy for helping out a friend in need.”

Meanwhile back on TTT, the map changes to a snowy hotel map. Inside the hotel Engie was singing on a stage in the theater room… very poorly might I add. All he was doing was moaning and groaning and saying words that don’t even exist into a microphone……… I moan and groan and say words that don’t even exist without a microphone; that’s a different story. The only words I heard Engie say that I understood was when he said “To looooove meeeee!”

“BOOOO! Get off the stage!” Psyche taunted.

“SHUT UP!” Engie yelled as he shoots Psyche.

“What are you two doing?” Crystal asked as Engie and Psyche were laughing. “What are you guys doing without me?”

“There’s a… there’s a traitor in the lounge area.” I said as Engie began singing horribly again.

“It’s goin’ to be a good daaaaay!” Engie sang. “Everypony come to the dance floooooor!”

“We have an awful Bruce Springsteen impersonator over there in the lounge area.” I said.

“Nothin’ but a hound-dog!” Engie sang.

“OW! Somepony just shot me.” Crystal said.

“That wasn’t me, I’m way over here near the pool.” I said.

“I know it wasn’t you, Flare.” Crystal said. “It’s gotta be Aqua or Engie. Someone sniped me.”

“Why isn’t anyone comin’ in here to hear my singing?” Engie asked.

“Cause you murder ponies that criticize you!” I yelled.

“And ya don’t?” Aqua asked.

“I may not take criticism well because I have a past full of it, but it is not worth killing about!” I corrected him.

“You know, ah’m gonna throw your body into the pool.” Engie said as he picks up Psyche’s body with Magneto Stick and starts walking outside.

“Oh cool, I could use a dip.” Psyche said.

“Oh hey.” Engie said to me as I was outside aiming my gun at his character.

“Keep away from my diving board, Engie. That is my diving board. Only I use it.” I said to Engie as Engie walks on the diving board to throw Psyche’s body into the pool.

“Careful, Engie. You don’t want to mess with Flare and his diving board.” Psyche warned him. “My body isn’t going to be the only one in here.

“How did you kill him anyway?” Crystal asked.

“He killed me in the lounge because I didn’t like his garbage singing!” Psyche yelled as I shot Engie for being on my diving board.

“GAAAAH!” Engie yelled. “Ah wasn’t the terrorist. He was criticizing my singin’!”

“I don’t care! You were on my diving board! Nopony but me touches my diving board!” I yelled.

“He wasn’t the terrorist; he’s just really bad at taking criticism.” Psyche said.

“Hey Flare?” Blaze asked as he walks inside my bedroom.

“AAAAH!” I yelled. “Since when did you get in?! Why didn’t you call me first?!”

“Sorry, man. I was in a hurry.” Blaze said.

“Who’s that ya’re talking to, Flare?” Aqua asked.

“It’s Blaze, gimmie a second, brah.” I said as I took off my headphones. “What’s up, Blaze? What happened to Rainbow Dash?”

“Yeah it’s a long story. I know you’re not going to be happy about this, but I need you to work at your shop today. Rainbow’s little sister is in town and they’re not getting along well, and I need your help.” Blaze requested.

“OH WOW!” Engie yelled from the game. “Ah got started right back on the stage again! Hey Aqua, c’mere!” Engie began to sing awfully again, “Everything is goin’ to be a good vibratioooooooon!”

“How high do you have your headphones volume?” Blaze asked.

“Pretty high. I can barely hear Aqua’s voice in-game.” I said.

“So yeah, I really could use your help, Flare. I dunno what else to do. Your shop seems to have helped out friendships before, just look at Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes?” Blaze reminded me.

A cutaway shows me serving a dinner date to Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes so they’d finally get along. The two of them just crossed their hooves (yeah they’re ponies in here) and angrily looked away from each other. “Now I know you two have your disagreements, and I know for a fact that you two are addicts and are pieces of trash that used to be so famous and so good but went downhill during your early adult-hood and you both should be ashamed of yourselves of how horrible you both become and no pony likes you anymore, but it’s just you two against the world right? You both share common interests and both share the same fates. Doesn’t that mean anything to you both?”

“You know what, Flare? You’re right.” Lindsay agreed.

“Lindsay and I do share a big common interest.” Amanda agreed. Just then, the two of them started to beat me up and then they threw me in a dumpster.

“We both think you’re a huge jerk for trying to tempt us and being super rude to us and YOU should be ashamed of yourself.” Lindsay said.

“Justice is served. Bring in the dancing lobsters.” Amanda said as a couple of 6 inch high lobsters joined us and began dancing. The cutaway ends.

“So will you help me?” Blaze asked.

“Sure ruin this day even further by making me stop playing as well.” I complained. “You know, I wanted to take a break from friendship lessons and working and just spend a relaxing day playing video games with my friends! I can’t have that can I? Don’t I deserve one?”

“Bro, I promise I’ll make this up to you. Just do this for me and I’ll make it worth your while.” Blaze promised.

After a moment of thinking I nodded in agreement. “Ok, if you wear a maid outfit while running through my shop tomorrow I’ll take on your offer.”

“WHAT?!” Blaze yelled.

“You want me to help you with Rainbow and her sister?” I asked.

“I do, but… ugh! Fine…” Blaze groaned.

“Sign here.” I instructed him as I gave him a contract. “This will make sure you don’t try any funny business.”

“Another contract? Really, Flare?” Blaze asked as he gave me that ‘really?’ face.

“What is with you and that face?” I asked.

“Isn’t the Friendship Agreement enough?” Blaze asked.

“DO IT!” I demanded.

“Ugh!” Blaze groaned as he signs the contract. I must say, he really must be desperate to get Rainbow and her sister back together. Looks like I learned another friendship lesson today. You can never have a break from learning something. You learn something every day, no matter what happens, anything is possible. Well that’s my friendship lesson for today, now its Blaze’s turn.

“Awesome! Now let me do one thing real quick before we go.” I said to him. I went back on my game and said on the mic, “Hey Aqua?”

“Yeah I dunno what happened.” Aqua said. “I was away from my computer and my aquarium program came back.”

“Just giggle the mouse.” I said to him.

“Ok.” Aqua said and just as he did so, he started to get upset. “Oh… ya made it shut it off.”

“Yeah it’s a screensaver, brah.” I said to him.

“I was enjoying that.” Aqua said upsettingly.

“Hey Aqua, come with me for a sec. I trust you, and I know a good place we can find from the terrorist.” I said to him.

“Not terrorist! Traitor!” Psyche reminded us.

“WHATEVER, PSYCHE!” I yelled.

“Ow! Don’t yell on the mic, Flare!” Engie complained. So I made Aqua’s character follow me to the roof of the building.

“Ok so ya think this is a good hiding place?” Aqua asked.

“Of course! Aqua, I trust you! Alright? I trust you!” I said. “Do you trust me?”

“I dunno, I guess. Ya haven’t killed me yet.” Aqua said.

“Don’t worry, brah. I’m not going to kill you. I promise.” I said.

“Seems suspicious, but ok.” Aqua said.

“Ok… we trust each other.” I said as I then jumped off the ledge of the building and my character fell to his death. “AAAAAH! AQUA KILLED ME! AQUA I TRUSTED YOU!”

“What did ya just do?!” Aqua asked surpisingly. “C’mon, mate! Why ya gotta do that?!”

“GET HIM! AQUA’S THE TRAITOR!” Engie yelled.

“Alright talk to you boys later, I have to do something.” I said as I turned off my game and chuckled. “That was so fun! Ok, let’s go!”

A half hour went by, Rainbow and Blaze were waiting for Candy over at my shop, but she was taking a while to show up.m"Blaze, why did you talk me into coming here?" Rainbow asked.

"So you can make peace with your sister." Blaze said.

"I told you, Blaze. She's not my sister." Rainbow said.

"Look, just give her a chance, one chance, maybe you two can talk this out." Blaze said.

"Well she probably changed her mind, because I don't see her." Rainbow pointed out. Just then, as she finished her sentence, Candy came through the door. She walks over to Spike who was watching the front.

"Good evening, welcome to Flare's Pizza Parlor. How many?" Spike asked.

"I'm here to see my poor excuse for a sister." Candy said.

Spike takes out a notepad. "Alright, well there is a 5 minute wait...." But before Spike could finish that sentence, Candy growled at him. Spike was a little nervous so he knew what he had to do to avoid trouble. "She's right over at that table over there." He said, pointing to Rainbow's table. Candy angrily marches over to where Rainbow is sitting.

"Sheesh, take a chill pill!" Spike said. Candy hops on the booth and looks in the menu, trying to avoid eye contact with her sister.

"Hi Candy." Rainbow said.

"Hi Rainbow." Candy said.

"Soooo.... um, what have you been up to since I left home?” Rainbow asked.

"Well.... I like to draw, I like to fly in high speeds, and... umm... I dunno." Candy said. "What do you do for a living now?”

"Well, like you I like to fly in high speeds, I can do a sonic rainboom, and be 20% awesome in..." Rainbow said, but I interrupted her.

"10 seconds flat, right?" I asked.

"Yes, exactly!" Rainbow said. "So about mom and dad? How are they doing?"

"Umm... fine I guess." Candy said.

"Do they know you're here?" Rainbow asked.

"Not really." Candy said.

"Then why are you here? Mom and dad are probably worried sick!" Rainbow said.

"Hey I can take care of myself! I'm just as awesome as you, if not more!" Candy said.

"Wait, didn't your parents say that you two need to hang more?" Blaze asked.

"Yeah, but they didn't say I had to come down. I decided to do it myself. I traveled across Equestria just to see you Rainbow, and this is the thanks you give me?" Candy asked.

"You didn't travel across Equestria. Mom and dad live in Cloudsdale." Rainbow corrected her.

"So? I broke the rules just so I can see you, and so far you're not being nice to me!" Candy said.

"Me? You're not being nice to me! I'm your older sister! You're my responsibly!" Rainbow said.

"You're starting to get on my nerves Rainbow Dash!" Candy yelled.

"Hey, hey! This shop has a no hate policy!" I said. "Now if you want some delicious food, you're going to have to be nice to one another, like seriously actually!"

"Flare, do I have to explain this situation to you again?" Blaze asked.

"Probably; I stopped listening to you after you started talking about it." I said.

"Flare, you're not helping!" Blaze said.

"Yes I am." I said as I came out of the kitchen and used my magic to take the pizza I just made to Rainbow's table. "Dinner is-a served! Cooked with extra love, and friendship, and even less then threes. Enjoy!"

"Thanks Flare." Rainbow said.

"What is this?" Candy asked.

"Pizza, Flare's famous pizza. Try it, you'll love it!" Rainbow said.

"I can't, I'm lactose intolerance." Candy said. "I can't eat cheese."

"No problemo, sista!" I said. "Allow me fix this problem, it's quite simple." I used my magic to remove the cheese from the pizza. "Ta da! All you have to do is remove the cheese, and walla, no milky gas."

"Ehh, I'm not really hungry right now." Candy said.

"C'mon Candy, try the pizza, you'll love it!" Rainbow suggested.

"No. I don't want to." Candy said.

"You won't regret it, sista! This pizza is full of love, friendship, and less then three!" I said.

"Yeah, I heard you the first time." Candy said.

"Candy, eat your pizza, now!" Rainbow ordered her.

"NO!" Candy yelled as she flipped the pizza tray over on Rainbow's face.

"THAT'S IT, TIME OUT!" Rainbow yelled.

"YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!" Candy yelled.

"Like a boss!" I said.

"Shut it!" Rainbow and Candy both said to me.

"I don't like your attitude, young mare." Rainbow said.

"I don't like your face!" Candy yelled.

"You're being such a little brat right now!" Rainbow yelled.

"You're being such a nosy fatso right now!" Candy yelled.

"WHAT?!" Rainbow yelled.

"Guys, c'mon!" Blaze said.

"You should go back to mom and dad!" Rainbow ordered.

"NO! I hate them!" Candy yelled.

"CANDY, GO!" Rainbow ordered.

"NO! THEY MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE! I thought if I came to live with you it might chance that, but I was wrong! You're no different than them! I HATE YOU!" Candy yelled as she started crying.

"Candy?" Blaze asked.

"SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Candy yelled. She hovers into the air and charges out my window, breaking it, and she flew faster than ever, far away. Rainbow had a shocking look on her face.

"Rainbow?" Blaze asked.

"My parents... made her life miserable?" Rainbow asked. "Wait..." Rainbow started having a flashback with her parents. They never gave Rainbow what she wanted, and they ignored her sometime after Candy was born, but what Rainbow didn’t know was that after Rainbow’s parents kicked Rainbow out of the house at the age of 18, Rainbow’s parents ignored Candy and began to miss Rainbow. Rainbow’s parents were only worried about one child at a time, and both children deserve an equal amount of love. When Rainbow’s flashback ended she started tearing up and cried on my table.

"Rainbow?" Blaze asked, putting his hoof on her.

"Awww, Rainbow! I just cleaned that!” I complained.

"I think Rainbow found out what Candy's real problem was." Blaze said. "You see, Rainbow's parents ignored her too, and it seems Candy is going through the same experience."

"Well how about my window? Who's gonna pay that?" I asked.

"Flare, listen! Rainbow's sister is going through a big problem right now, and we have to solve it!" Blaze said.

"We?" I asked.

"Yeah 'we', can you please help me out?" Blaze asked.

"Look this is your family issue. I don't think I'll be much of help. I'm sorry dude, but what can I do?" I said as I then started walking in the kitchen, but Blaze stopped me.

"Please help me, man! I don't think she'll listen to me, or Rainbow. But...." he didn't know what to say next.

"But you think she'll listen to me?" I asked.

"I thought so at first, but now that I think of it....." he said.

"Exactly. I'm not the best pony to help solve problems, trust me I tired. I don't want to offend anypony else." I said.

"Please man, please?" he asked. "You're my best friend, and I can't do this on my own."

I thought it out for a sec. "50 bits." I said.

"30." he said.

"20!" I said.

"Deal!" he said.

"Ok I’ll just help you get to her, but I don’t wanna play a major part in this conflict.” I said.

“You won’t. I promise.” Blaze said.

“So how we gonna find her?” Rainbow asked as she rubbed the tears out of her face. “I will NOT let my sister go through all that! She needs attention like all little sisters do! If my parents can’t do it, then I will!”

"I can use my phoenix sense to track her." Blaze said.

“I still don’t get you, brah. Half-pony, half-dragon with phoenix powers? Won’t others find that OP?” I asked.

“C’mon, I’m not invulnerable or anything. It’s who we are. They should watch the first Trixie episode again.” Blaze said.

So Rainbow and Blaze were flying around, looking for Candy. Blaze was leading, and I was flying on Rainbow's back. "Ugh! Flare you're too heavy!" she complained.

"Onward! Go! Go! Go!" I yelled. "C'mon, Rainbow, faster, faster!"

"I'm going as fast as I can, but your weight is slowing me down!" Rainbow struggled.

“Excuses, excuses.” I said.

"Down there! I see her!" Blaze pointed. Candy was in somepony's backyard, so we all flew down (Rainbow was faster because of me and my…… muscular body) and we all hid behind a wooden fence and quietly peeked over at Candy just sitting there all alone.

"Why did we land? C'mon, onward Rainbow!" I yelled. Then Rainbow pushed me off her by lowering her body. The three of us looked over the fence, and saw Candy eating out of a dog-wish. Yeah she was sitting alone and now she’s hesitating as she eats dog food. That really the life she wants?

"So, how can we catch her?" Rainbow asked.

"Leave that to me." I said. So I hopped over the fence, held a garden hoe using my front hooves. I then said in a squeaky voice, "Alright, Candy. Time to die!" Then Candy started running away.

"Flare, you scared her away!" Blaze yelled, hoping over the fence with Rainbow, and they both continued chasing her.

"Dirty hoe!" I yelled at the garden hoe, knocking it over, but after a second, it came back up to me and I was holding it, and then I said to it in a seductive tone, "I'm sorry baby, I love you." I started making smoochie faces at the hoe and was about to kiss it.

"C'mon, Flare!" Blaze instructed me; so I ran off, and the hoe was still standing there on its pull facing straight up, and then I caught up with him and Rainbow, and then suddenly, just as we thought Candy wouldn’t take anymore risks, we found Candy flying to the interstate.

"Great!" Rainbow Dash cried.

"What's great?" I asked.

"Candy is on the interstate and she's gonna hurt herself!" Rainbow said.

"How is that great?" I asked.

"We have to get her back!" Rainbow cried, as she starts flying towards the interstate to rescue her, but Blaze bites on her wing to stop her. “OW! It’s bad enough AppleJack pulls on my tail!”

"Is it gonna be safe to just fly through?" Blaze asked. "Look, I think it would be easier if we drove by her, and catch her with a big butterfly net.

"How's that gonna work?" Rainbow asked.

"I'm sure Fluttershy has a giant butterfly net we can borrow." Blaze said.

"But... none of us have a carriage to drive." Rainbow said.

"Why don't we take my carriage?" I asked.

"You have a carriage?" Blaze asked.

"You have a carriage?" I mimicked what Blaze said, teasing him. "Of course I have a carriage!"

"I'll believe it when I see it." Blaze said.

"Then eat your eyes on this!" I said as I took out some carriage keys out of my pocket.

"You mean 'feast' your eyes?" Blaze asked, correcting me.

"I don't see much of a difference." I said. So I took Blaze and Rainbow to my lockup, and after I opened it up, there was an old junky carriage inside that looked like it was in the need of repair.

"Uhh, that's your carriage, Flare?" Blaze asked.

"Yep yep yep!" I said.

"What a wreck! Forget about rescuing Candy. We'll be lucky if we make it to the end of the block!" Rainbow doubted.

"What? Oh, this? This is just the dust cover." The junky car decoration was only part of the dust cover cloth. I immediately removed it and it turned out to be a fast sports carriage. "What do you think?" Rainbow and Blaze were in shock when they saw my carriage; even their mouths lowered fast and hard like a weight. "You like it?"

"Seriously dude, this is pretty extreme, don't you think?" Blaze asked.

"Well, actually, I'm not into sports carriages, but Fonz left it behind after he fled, so it's mine now.” I said mischievously. “Nope, it is not stealing. It is finder’s keepers, losers crying.”

"Nice man!" Blaze said.

"I call shotty!" I yelled.

"I can't drive that thing; I don't have a carriage licence." Rainbow said.

"Me neither, so I guess you're driving Flare." Blaze said.

"But I'm not that much of a runner. I get tired pretty fast." I said as I admitted that even though with a muscular body that Rainbow cannot handle, my legs get tired pretty fast.

"We'll try to give you energy, but for now you'll need to drive this thing in order for us to get Candy." Blaze said.

"Kay, hop in." I said. So Rainbow and Blaze went into the carriage as I attached myself onto the carriage.

"Go, Flare! GO!" Rainbow yelled.

"I'm not going anywhere until you both buckle up." I ordered them.

"Does it really matter?" Rainbow asked.

"Actually, it does. Sorry babe." Blaze said. Rainbow sighed and buckled her seat belt.

"Time to find Miss Candy Cotton, search and destroy!" I said.

"NO! Search and rescue!" Blaze corrected me.

"Search and rescue, I meant search and rescue, of course!" I said. I then mumbled to myself, “Then destroy after rescue.” So I started pulling the carriage out of the warehouse district, through Ponyville, and onto the interstate. This interstate is pretty much like any other interstate. So much traffic, but at least everypony was moving at a decent speed. Rainbow and Blaze were keeping a close eye out for Candy Cotton.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPt1dQUxdPw

"Can you go a little faster, Flare?" Rainbow asked.

"I can't." I said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"One: I have to obey the speed limit, two: I can't run that fast. I'm a unicorn, not an earth pony. Earth ponies have stronger hooves." I said.

"GO... FASTER!" Rainbow yelled as she whipped my flank, making me go faster. I did go faster, but I wasn't happy about it.

"Wow rude!” I yelled. So I was pulling the carriage really fast, trying to avoid the traffic. It wasn't really safe, and I was afraid to be pulled over. Rainbow Dash might know the rules of the air, but she has no idea about the rules of the road. But still, not many ponies in Ponyville drive because everything is walking distance. When I was living in Mareami, it was a big city, so sometimes you gotta use carriages to go from place to place. I've been running for a few miles and soon we saw Candy sitting on the back of a pick-up carriage.

"There she is I see her!" Blaze yelled. "On the back of that pick-up carriage." Why do the characters have to keep mimicking me?

"So what's the plan, Blaze?" Rainbow asked.

"One of us needs to go over and get her, and one of us needs to stay and catch her." Blaze said.

"I'll go get her." I offered.

"No, Flare. You need to keep this carriage rolling." Blaze instructed me.

"Roll the carriage? Isn't that dangerous?" I asked.

"No, just keep pulling the carriage and keep it near the carriage wherever Candy's at. I'll go get her." Blaze said.

"No, Blaze. She's my sister; I gotta be the one to get her." Rainbow said.

"Alright, well be careful." Blaze said.

“Hey what happened to the butterfly net idea? Did we just forget about it and started doing something else without discussion?” I asked.

So Rainbow unbuckles her seat belt, stands up on her seat and places her hoof on one the doors, and attempts to climb out of the carriage. "Be careful, Rainbow!" Blaze warned her.

"Thanks for the obvious tip, sherlock!" Rainbow said to him sarcastically. She gets herself ready to jump onto the pick-up carriage where Candy is. I know she could've flown, but it seems more epic if she jumps, because Friendship is Epic! Hey, I said the title of the story, I think I hear Peter Griffin in the audience saying, "He said it! He said it!" So Rainbow jumps onto the carriage and climbs inside the back of the pick-up carriage.

"You! Why did you follow me?" Candy asked her.

"I'm here to take you home, Candy Cotton." Rainbow said.

"NEVER! I'm never going back!" Candy yelled. She jumped onto the hood of the carriage and jumps onto a delivery truck and Rainbow follows her.

"Flare, pull the carriage near the delivery truck!" Blaze instructed me.

"How about you quit telling me what to do? I know what to do!" I said as I pulled over towards the carriage near the truck. Rainbow jumps onto the truck and Candy gives her a glare.

"Leave me alone, Rainbow! I can do what I want and you can't stop me!" Candy yelled. Candy was jumping from truck to truck and Rainbow keeps chasing her. I had a hard time keeping up though; counting there was alot of traffic on this interstate.

"Candy, this isn't what it looks like at all!" Rainbow yelled.

"I'm not going back home, Rainbow! So stop chasing me! Mom and dad kept talking about you after you left and unlike you, I HAVE NO FRIENDS!" Candy yelled back.

"I'm not taking you 'home'. I'm taking you..... HOME!" Rainbow corrected her.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Candy yelled still getting chased by her sister.

"What I'm saying is, I'm not taking you back to mom and dad; I'm taking you to live with me! Blaze and I will take good care of you! I promise!" Rainbow swore.

"But... you don't care about me!" Candy yelled with tears in her eyes.

"If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be coming after you! I'm doing this because I love you, Candy Cotton! You're my sister, and you always will!" Rainbow yelled, tears started falling from her eyes. "Please.... believe me! I want you back! I cannot truly be awesome without my awesome little sister with me! I'm sorry!" Candy stopped running from Rainbow after she hopped on an SUV. She looked back at Rainbow and saw the tears in her eyes, so Candy knew she was serious. If Rainbow cries, it’s serious, because Rainbow ain’t no crybaby. She smiled and ran back to Rainbow Dash, and then she jumped on her and gave her a big hug.

"I'm sorry, Dashie! I believe you!" Candy said as she cried on her. "I love you too, big sis. I don't know what I was thinking? I'm a terrible sister!"

"No you're not, Candy. You're the best sister and an awesome adventurer." Rainbow said, hugging her back. “I would’ve NEVER thought of adventuring on the interstate when I was your age! I am totally impressed!”

"Sorry to interrupt your moment, but you're hugging on top of a truck and a tunnel is just up ahead.” Blaze pointed out.

Rainbow and Candy looked up ahead and saw the tunnel. The tunnel was too short, so with Rainbow and Candy on top of the truck, they'd bump their heads on the tunnel and fall onto the road, and probably get runned over.

"Blaze, I'm starting to get tired!" I complained.

"Keep going, Rainbow and Candy need to get inside the carriage." Blaze said to me. Blaze began to stand up on his seat with his hooves out.. "C'mon, jump! I'll catch you!"

"Candy, you go first." Rainbow insisted.

"I dunno, Rainbow. He's different." Candy said.

"Yes, he is, but we're all different. You just need to accept it. You can trust him. He's the most loyal pony you can ever meet. Probably even more loyal than I. Actually.... maybe not, but still, you can trust him." Rainbow said. Candy was silent for a moment. She looked at Blaze, and then looked at the incoming tunnel. The tunnel was awfully close.

"C'mon, hurry!" Blaze cried. Candy looked at Blaze, and then she smiled and jumped onto Blaze's hooves.

"Gotcha!" Blaze said.

"Yay!" Candy cheered as she gave Blaze a hug. "I'm sorry, Blaze. I guess I can trust you."

"That.... means alot, really." Blaze said with tears in his eyes.

"C'mon, big sis!" Candy yelled.

"Okay, here I come!" Rainbow said getting ready to jump. "One.... two....." But before she could say three she got hit by the tunnel and fell.

"RAINBOW!" Candy and Blaze yelled at the same time.

"Flare! Pull over!" Blaze yelled. I immediately pulled the carriage over to the side and before Rainbow could get runned over by a carriage, I used my unicorn magic to pull her closer to us. I put her inside the carriage, I detached myself from the carriage and went inside with them. Rainbow was passed out with a big bump on her head..

"Oh Rainbow, this is all my fault!" Candy said crying on her.

"Oh will you relax? She's not dead." I said to her. "She just bumped her head. Rhyme!"

"I dunno, this bump seems serious." Blaze said.

"Well.... we gotta take her to the hospital then!" Candy yelled.

"No time. We're losing her." Blaze said.

"Oh c'mon! What happened to the floating stars on her head? She hit a mountain, hard before, and she was alright." I reminded him.

Candy continued crying on Rainbow, and Blaze was thinking about what he should do, and as for me, well I wasn’t doing anything. I was just watching to see what’ll happen next. Just then, Blaze closed his eyes, and his body began to glow. “Uhh, Blaze? I think you’re exposed to radiation.” I pointed out.

“Shhh.” Blaze shushed me.

“Don’t you shush me, fool!” I demanded.

”Shhh! I need to concentrate.” Blaze said as he lifts his hooves and slowly hovers them over Rainbow.

“Wha-what’s happening?” Candy asked.

“How should I know? I’m just here for support.” I said.

Just then Blaze places both of his hooves on Rainbow’s chest and then Rainbow’s body began to glow as well. Ray flares showed up on Blaze’s eyes and mouth and same thing goes to Rainbow. “Whooooooa!” Candy said surprisingly.

“Are we almost done? I wanna go back to TTT.” I complained.

After a few moments, both Blaze’s and Rainbow’s bodies stopped glowing, and then Rainbow began to cough and wake up. “RAINBOW!” Blaze and Candy cried out in excitement and hugged her.

“Ugh! Hey guys! Why does it feel like I got hit in the head by a solid concrete wall?” Rainbow asked as she painfully rubbed her head.

“Just to clarify, all concrete is solid.” I reminded her.

“Oh sis! I’m so glad you’re ok! I’ll never leave you again! I’m moving in with you and Blaze!” Candy said.

"And I'll take good care of you, as if you were my own." Rainbow said. Candy looked at Blaze and gave him a hug as well.

"And you Blaze, I couldn't ask for a better in-law!" Candy said. "How did you heal, Rainbow?"

"My.... phoenix powers of course!" Blaze said hugging her back, but feeling exhausted. "Phew! Healing sure takes alot outta ya!"

“Blaze’s phoenix powers never seizes to amaze me.” Rainbow said. Just then, I began to clear my throat.

"What's wrong, man?" Blaze asked me.
“I didn’t get a hug!” I complained.

“That’s because you’re just the driver, man.” Blaze teased.

“Yeah whatever. You still owe me a few favors.” I reminded him.

“Oh… right…” Blaze said upsettingly.

So I attached myself onto the carriage again, I made a U-turn, and pulled us out of the tunnel and we all returned back to Ponyville. As we were driving back to town, Candy was leaning on Rainbow and said, “I’m glad you decided to have me move in with you. I’ll never forget it.”

“Me neither, squirt.” Rainbow said as she rubbed Candy’s head. “And just to let you know, there’s this filly by the name of Scootaloo who idolizes me, and she says I’m like a big sister to her, so I hope you don’t feel jealous.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” Candy promised. “I’m also glad that this is all behind us. As it turns out, I guess I’ve been ignored for so long that I always think that attention is all I need and if I don’t get it, I pitch a fit, but it all turns out that everyone needs a turn with attention. No pony should have more attention than another. All your family members and friends should be treated equal in your group, and why did I just explain that whole thing?”

“It’s part of that Ponyville vibe. You’ll get used to it, Candy.” Rainbow said.

“Well one thing’s for sure, we’ll definitely feel like a whole family with Candy around, and it would be good practice for when it’s time for us to have a kid.” Blaze said.

“Ok let’s not overdo it, Blaze. I’m not ready for that.” Rainbow said in an uncomfortable tone.

Blaze chuckled and said, “Of course babe!”

“By the way, Candy. Why did you call me fat back at Flare’s shop? Fat is the least insult I should have. I don’t even look fat.” Rainbow said as she observes her stomach.

“Are you sure, Dashie? Cause I think you’re getting a little chunky.” Candy said.

“Yeah we’re definitely going to have our ups and downs time after time.” Rainbow said.

“Let’s not let that bother us.” Blaze said. “The only thing that should bother me is…” Blaze started to sigh and began to put on a maid outfit. “Here goes nothing.” Rainbow and Candy began to laugh.

“What’s going on back there? Why are you laughing? Am I missing out on something again?” I asked.

Meanwhile at the end of the day, it was almost dusk and the TTT matches we were playing was over. Aqua spent a lot of time looking at his screen saver with his sister. “Look! There’s our Dory fish again!” Wind Racer pointed out.

“Yeah I see it.” Aqua said. “I think I got the hang of this. If ya don’t touch the computer for a certain amount of time, this program will pop up. It only closes if ya press something or move the mouse.”

“I wish there was a way to just instantly watch this whenever we want.” Wind Racer said.

“Me too, but I guess it doesn’t work like that.” Aqua said.

”Can I have this in my room while I sleep?” Wind Racer asked as the computer screen goes blank. “Hey where did it go?! Did you press something, bro?”

“No, did ya?” Aqua asked.

“Not that I know of. Why did the screen go black?” Wind Racer asked. She began to press buttons on the computer but the computer didn’t come back on. “Hey what gives?! Is this thing broken?” Just as Wind Racer presses the space bar on the computer, the computer goes back on the desktop. “Oh there we go! I guess the computer was bored and was about to go to sleep.”

“Nah, computers don’t sleep, sis.” Aqua corrected her.

I'm On A Float!

View Online

Yeah it’s been chillin these last couple of weeks. It’s great that Candy and her sister made their peace. So far they’re doing okay together. What next? Well, I bet you’re probably wondering, what was I doing while the Too Many Pinkie Pies episode was on. Nothing…. I was at my shop working and then the Pinkies swarmed in and they kept touching my hair, which it was made me kick them out of my shop with a broom. That’s pretty much all that happened, nothing special, so I’ll skip that. But I do have a little story, and by little story I mean a story that’s probably over 10k words like most chapters in this story, while the One Bad Apple episode was going on. So before Babs Seed came into town, the first thing that happened (as I remembered) was that I was at my home, and I lost my name tag. Seem like a familiar plot to you? Well, this isn’t what the story is about; I’ll get to that, be patient.

So I was looking for my name tag because I can’t work at the shop without it. I looked inside my trunk, even threw all the worthless junk in there out, which caused a mess in the room, but I’ll take care of it later. It’ll probably clean itself up in a later scene cause that’s how cartoons work. As I continued looking, my name tag wasn’t in the trunk, so I looked in the closet. I threw all of the blue armors that were in there out and even checked all the pockets. I didn’t find my name tag, but I did find a few bits, and I put them in my vest pocket. I next looked in the dresser, then under the bed, and the room was a complete mess, but I couldn’t find my name tag.

“Aw c’mon! You kidding me?” I complained. “Why can’t I find my name tag anywhere?! It should be easy because my name is on it. Wait… I put my name on everything I own… well my face should be on it.” Just then, my friend Aqua came inside the room and looked pretty confused.

“Uh Flare, what ya doin?” he asked.

“Flare’s looking for his name tag.” I said in a third-person.

“Flare’s lookin for his name tag?” he repeated.

“Nooo! Does Flare have to spell it out for you?” I said to him sarcastically.

“Are ya speakin in third-person?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” I asked him grouchy. “Well you can just kiss my shinny red flank!”

“Why are ya mad at me? What did I do?” Aqua asked.

I took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. “Sorry, Aqua.” I said to him. “I guess Flare’s just in a bad mood right now because he lost his name tag. He can’t work without it. Flare’s been looking high and low for it, but he couldn’t find it anywhere.”
“So ya decided to look in MY room?” Aqua asked. Oh right, of course. I forgot, I was in his house, sorry for the confusion readers. Hee hee! Oh wow I sound like Michael Jackson.

“Wait, this is your room?” I asked.

“Yeah, you forgot?” he asked.

“Well then it explains it.” I said.

“Because my room looks nothing like yas?” Aqua asked.

“No because my name isn’t anything.” I corrected him.

“Ya put your name on everything ya own?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah I do. Don’t YA, Aqua?” I asked.

“Unless ya forgot when ya looked everywhere in my room.” Aqua reminded me.

“Yeah ya probably right, Aqua. YA YA YA YA YA!” I teased him.

“Umm… alright?” Aqua said.

“So do YA have any idea where my name tag is?” I asked.

“Not really.” Aqua said. “Unless ya have it on right now and don’t realize it.”

“No I checked, double-checked, triple-checked, quadruple-checked, and whatever five means checked.” I said.

“Well ya if leave your vest tag sticking out like it is now and face backwards, maybe your customers can look at your name from your vest tag.” Aqua suggested.

“What do I look like to you, Aqua? One of those mares that look hot from the back but ugly from the front?” I asked. “Like, do you think I’m a fat mare to you?”

“I don’t think that tactic works that way with ponies.” Aqua corrected me.

“If they’re standing on their hind legs, yes it could work that way.” I corrected him.

“If ya say so, mate.” Aqua said.

“Hey Aqua, can I treat you for breakfast?” I asked.

“Nah I’m good, thanks.” Aqua said.

“Oh but I insist. I made your room a mess. It’s one less karma thing for me to worry about, so technically I’m doing something for me to save myself from karma.” I explained.

“Well if ya put it that way, I guess it’s fair.” Aqua agreed. “Besides, Wind Racer’s the one that cleans everything up anyway.”

“Why? Because you tell her to or she offers?” I asked.

“She has to because it’s a tradition from our old village.” Aqua said.

“Are you serious, or is that just an excuse?” I asked.

“For all ya know, I’m serious.” Aqua said.

“Sounds about right. I can believe that.” I nodded.

“Hey Aqua? Why is six afraid of seven?” I asked.

“I already know this joke.” Aqua informed me.

“The answer is: Six is a number and therefore doesn’t have feelings and can’t be afraid of another number.” I said.

“I see.” He said, with an attitude that sounds like he’s saying ‘What did he say?’

“I see you’re in that ‘I don’t care’ type of mood so I guess we’ll just get going to the restaurant of your choice.” I said as I got off of Aqua’s bed.

“I don’t know where to go. Ya can pick.” Aqua offered.

“Ok I’ll just pick a restaurant that isn’t worth mentioning its name and we’re probably not going to go there anyway because something else pops up.” I said. So the two of us headed out of Aqua’s house and were on our way to breakfast. On the way over there we met up with Pinkie on some sort of… I dunno… a giant lettuce with doors and wheels. Well, it’s Pinkie Pie; I’ve seen her do weirder. I once saw her fly a kite made out of wood that’s on fire. I didn’t even think it was possible. She said that the wood she was using was magic wood from Everfree. I just took her word for it and decided to forget about it. I don’t want to know the answer of dividing by zero.

“Aqua! Flare!” Pinkie said excitedly as she jumped off her lettuce vehicle and landed on her head without hurting herself, and then she flips and lands on her hooves.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t see that.” Aqua said awkwardly.

“Sup Pinks?” I asked. “What’s with the giant cabbage?” Oh wow, Flare, really? You’ve been in cooking for Faust knows how long and you don’t even know the difference between a lettuce and a cabbage?

“It’s not cabbage, silly! It’s lettuce!” Pinkie corrected me. “It’s for the Summer Harvest Parade!” Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, we’re flashbacking back to summer. This actually takes place right after Water moves into town and before the Nightmare Night chapter and before Candy moves into town. In fact, this was before I met Crèmepop, so she’s not here yet either.

“The Summer Harvest parade, huh? It’s too bad. After seeing you with a food parade float, I wanted to have a giant pizza. I mean unless you can grow pizzas from the garden like those fat idiots from Wall-E thought, I’d totally have a pizza float!” I said.

“That would be so cool!” Pinkie said excitedly. “I would’ve had a hot dog parade float and called it an Oscar Myer!”

“I think one of those was already made.” I corrected her.

“Oh, then maybe I’ll make a bologna one.” Pinkie thought.

“Heh, you say it that way, but I say ‘bologna’ how it’s spelled, with an E in the end.” I said.

“Ya like making up words, huh mate?” Aqua asked.

“It makes me unique, brah.” I said. “I don’t care what other’s think. It may sound weird, it may sound weird, and I dunno why I said ‘it may sound weird’ twice- err, three times, but it makes me unique. Unless I’m talking to a boss (which nopony is with me) or a random stranger, as long as you’re talking that way to your friends, it’s fine. Wouldn’t you agree, Pinkie?” I asked her but she was already gone. “Oh, she’s already gone.”

“Yeah she left a while ago.” Aqua informed me as he was eating some pancakes.

“Huh? Since when did we get to the restaurant already? How long was I talking?” I asked.

“A while.” Aqua said. “A very long while.”

“Anyways Aqua, I was thinking; maybe we should enter the Summer Harvest Parade. Make an awesome float and win prize money!” I suggested.

“I don’t think it’s a contest, Flare.” Aqua corrected me.

“Well still, I’d rather win prize money to make up an entry fee.” I said.

“Well first, ya might need a flyer.” Aqua suggested.

“Somepony call for a flyer?” Crystal asked as she flew over to us and flapped her wings.

“Yeah, ya got a flyer for the Summer Harvest Parade?” Aqua asked.

“Oh, I thought you two wanted a pegasus?” Crystal asked.

“Well… you can help us out. How about a little pegasistance as we build ourselves an amazing float for the Summer Harvest Parade?” I offered.

“Nah. I’d rather build an AWESOME float for the Summer Harvest Parade.” Crystal said.

“So can you help us get a parade flyer?” I asked.

“I didn’t think a parade could fly.” Crystal teased.

I chuckled, “Oh Crystal, you dog!”

“Dog? Did you just call me a dog?” she asked me feeling insulted.

“What? Is that offensive?” I asked.

“YES!” she yelled.

“Flare’s sorry, Crystal.” I said. “Please forgive Flare!”

“Oh I’ll forgive Flare, but should I forgive you? Hmmm?” she asked as she gave me a dirty look.

“You’ll forgive Flare, but you won’t forgive me? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!” I yelled. But then I calmed down quickly because it hit me. “Wait a sec…. I’m Flare. Which means you already forgiven me.”

“Yay!” Crystal cheered.

“I got a big grin on my face see? See the grin, Crystal? Aqua you see this grin on my face?” I asked.

“Yeah, I see it.” Aqua said. I bet Aqua was thinking I was crazy, but I was only being myself. “Hey, uhh, Flare? Is it alright if I go down to work now? It’s gettin late for me.”

“No problemo, brah! Flare will see you when his shift ends.” I said.

“Thanks.” He said. “You two have a great day.”

“You too.” Crystal said and Aqua trots away. “I like him.” She said.

“He said ‘you’ instead of ‘ya’. I think I bought breakfast for an imposter.” I said.

“So how about that parade?” Crystal asked.

“Oh this parade is going to be so much fun, Crystal!” I said excitedly. “We’re going to build a float, drive around in it, wave to everypony, and maybe I’ll even advertise my shop! I mean, should I though? I’m pretty sure everypony in town has eaten there before and if not, at least they probably hurt about it, so it wouldn’t make much sense to advertise something that everypony already knows about. What do you think, Crystal?” She wasn’t there. “Oh… she’s already gone.”

“Order up, bossman!” Bonnie said as she gave me a ticket order.

“And I’m at my shop already.” I said. “I really need to keep track on how long I talk.” Just then I felt my phone vibrate, so I took it out of my pocket and checked it. “I mean for realsies! I didn’t even know I poked Keith that many times!”

Meanwhile, Aqua was trotting across town on his way to work until he hears a loud “C’MON MAN! It wasn’t even a drop!”

“Huh?” Aqua asked as he looked over and saw my sister Water with a leaking fire hydrant.

“Ok maybe it was a little drop… it was a puddle… it was a wave… but it wasn’t a strong wave! Yes it was a strong wave.” Water said to herself all soaking wet from the water from the leaking fire hydrant.

“Hey Water.” Aqua said as he walked over to her.

“Oh hi horse.” Water said.

“Umm… ok?” Aqua said confusingly.

“Please excuse me, Aqua, but like Flare’s ‘sup brah?’ I like to make my own quotes too.” Water said.

“If ya say so.” Aqua said. “Having trouble?”

“Oh where to begin?” Water asked herself. “Well first I went over to the shoe store today to get new boots for my hind hooves when I saw the outrages price for them, so I had to steal money from Flare’s piggy-bank in order to get these shoes, but little did I know that it was secured, but luckily for me it was fragile, so I broke it, but it was only three pennies in there; just enough for Sheldon Cooper to do his knock!”

“No, I mean… are ya having trouble with this fire hydrant here?” Aqua asked more specifically. This is a narration, so I can say ‘specific’ right during narration.

“Oh this? Yeah it’s a bugger to work but I’ll get to it. All I need to do is use my watertastic magic on it and then seal the top right back on.” Water explained.

“Ya know how it broke?” Aqua asked.

“Oh I might’ve… umm… been showing off… a little bit of… magic.” Water stuttered nervously.

Aqua chuckled. “A little bit, huh?”

Water chuckled along. “Perhaps. For all you know.”

“I just did that joke today.” Aqua pointed out.

“Oh no way!” Water yelled out in excitement.

“Yeah.” Aqua nodded as he continued chuckling.

“Y’know, Flare said you weren’t really the joking type.” Water said.

“I have a little bit here ‘n there. I guess a little bit of Flare’s humor is rubbing off on me.” Aqua teased.

“Or Crystal’s. She seems a little more humorous than Flare.” Water said.

“Perhaps.” Aqua said.

“Either that or she’s dumb.” Water said.

“Aw c’mon, Water. Dumb doesn’t seem to be a nice thing to say to Crystal. I’d prefer to use the words ‘special pony’.” Aqua said.

“What does being special have anything to do with her being dumb?” Water asked.

“Didn’t like that?” Aqua asked.

“Well, I found it to be a ‘special’ remark.” Water teased. They both chuckled.

“Well I should get going, Water. I have tons of work to do.” Aqua said.

“Okie doke! Call me when you have the chance.” Water requested.

“I would if I had your number…… or a phone.” Aqua said.

“Well I’m sure we’ll be meeting sometime later anyway.” Water said.

“Of course.” Aqua nodded. “So ya have a great day, mate.”

“See ya, Aqua!” Water waved as Aqua trotted off. Aqua’s heart began to beat and she started to feel a little cold, but then again, it could be just the fire hydrant water. Water sighed as Aqua headed off. “Aqua’s so kind. He’s no Fonz, but he’s on my crush list.”

“Ey! Yous gonna help me with this leak or what?” a construction worker complained to Water.

Meanwhile over at my shop, I invited my friends over to discuss the terms for the Summer Harvest Parade. The Noble Six is going to compete in it; just as soon as I tell them though, so everypony except Aqua came over to my shop to hear the news. “Good news, everypony!” Professor Farnsworth said to my friends. “Ok I did my part. When will I get my money?” he asked me.

“You’ll get it in the mail.” I said.

“Ok. Although I’m still awaiting my check from last time.” Farnsworth said.

“You’ll get it, just… go! Nyeh!” I demanded in a whiny voice.

“Ok, ok, no need to get all snippy with me!” Farnsworth said with an attitude.

“What did he say?” Snips asked.

“Don’t get smelly with me?” Snails asked.

“Ew! Why would I smell an old guy? That’s gross!” Snips complained.

“I think I need to use the bathroom.” Snails said.

“NO! Get outta here!” I ordered the two colts and the two of them run off. “I can only take their ‘business’ for so long.”

“So why did you call us here, Flare?” Blaze asked.

“Well as Farnsworth said, I have good news.” I said.

“If it’s Farnsworth saying it, it can’t be good.” Engie said.

“Don’t worry, I’m the one explaining everything, so of course it’ll be good!” I said. “Now then, are any of you aware of the Summer Harvest Parade?”

“Yeah, you just told me this morning.” Crystal reminded me.

“Wow, time is flying today.” I said shockingly. “Anyways, I was thinking that we should build ourselves a float for the parade. We’ll advertise my shop and whatever useless businesses the four of you own.”

“I don’t own a business. I do research, and it is NOT useless!” Psyche corrected me.

“Wow, you’re thinking? That’s a first, Flare!” Crystal teased.

“Umm… what?” I asked curiously.

“You said ‘I was thinking’ before you said we should build a float for the parade so I decided to make a little joke to make you feel dumb.” Crystal explained.

“So why didn’t you say it just after he said that?” Psyche asked.

“I didn’t want to interrupt the conversation. I have manners too.” Crystal said as she crosses her front hooves and crosses her left leg onto of her right and then gives Psyche an ugly look, and then Psyche just smiles at her with his teeth.

“You have a piece of spinach on one of your teeth.” Crystal pointed out. Psyche sticks his hoof on his tooth in attempt to take it out, but it was still there. “It’s still there.” She pointed out.

“I have hooves; how am I supposed to take it out using them, genius?” Psyche reminded her.

“How about I stick my tongue on your tooth and I’ll lick it off.” Crystal suggested, but before she could do so, my PG rating increased to PG-13 rating. “Aww, are you kidding? Fine, I won’t do it.” she complained as the rating goes back down to PG.

“So ya wanna compete in the parade, partner?” Engie asked.

“Yeah, it’ll be a great way to show our stuff. Isn’t that right?” Blaze asked.

“Righteyo!” Psyche said. “But the question is: What kind of float should we use?”

“I thought the question was: To be, or not to be?” Crystal asked.

“Wow, this is a tough decision to make.” Psyche said. “But first I need to know if we’re going to be making separate floats or just one float?”

“One float of course to represent the Noble Six!” I said. “I mean can we afford multiplie floats, let alone build multiple?”

“Right but what type shall we make?” Psyche asked. “There are so many different choices of fruits and veggies.”

“How about kumquats?” Engie asked.

“Why kumquats?” Blaze asked.

“Because kumquats of delicious, soury, orangey, and ah doubt anyone else is gonna use ‘em.” Engie explained. “Plus kumquats is a funny word to say. Kumquats… kumquats, kumquats, kumquats.”

“Put the word pickle-barrel- err, words pickle-barrel in front of it and you got an even funnier word!” I pointed out.

“Pickel-barrel kumquats, pickle-barrel kumquats- you’re right! That is better!” Engie said. “So all in favor of kumquats? Ah!” Engie raised his hoof in the air but nopony else did. We just looked at each other and then at Engie with weird expressions on our faces. “Oh what? No one else wants a kumquat? Ah thought we agreed it was a funny word?”

“It is, but I don’t want to use it as a float theme.” I said.

“Well then… any of y’all got any better ideas?” Engie asked.

“How about a lettuce float?” Crystal asked.

“Pinkie’s already using that.” Psyche informed her. “The parade rules say no multiple foods of the same.”

“Ok then.” Crystal nodded. “How about a tomato?”

“Amethyst Star already is using that. Next!” Psyche informed her.

“How about a squash?” Crystal asked.

“Daisy is already using that.” Psyche informed her.

“Wait, I thought Neon Lights was doing squash?” Blaze asked.

“Nope. That’s a cucumber.” Psyche corrected him.

“I cannot know the difference between the two, you know brah?” I asked.

“You can, you just don’t.” Psyche corrected me.

“How about an apple?” Crystal asked. “Or is the Apple family doing one?”

“Nope, the Apple family is using a pumpkin.” Psyche corrected her.

“So apple is still available?” Crystal asked.

“I didn’t say that.” Psyche said.

“Whatever. I’m a PC type of a girl anyway.” Crystal said.

“Hey Flare!” Water said as she walked inside my shop. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Well, actually, I’m about to order up some food.” I said.

“To who? Your shop is empty.” Water pointed out.

“There’s nopony in the shop right now? DANG IT!” I yelled. “Why must my store be empty? It must be Porker’s stealing my business again! CURSE YOU PORKER’S! Why does that name sound familiar to me?”

“You shouldn’ve kicked Snips and Snails out.” Psyche said.

“Yeah actually Flare, I wanted to speak to you in private.” Water said.

“Private as in where? Bathroom or lavatory?” I asked.

“Bathroom or lavatory?” Water asked.

“I MEAN… lavatory or office?” I asked as the two of us began laughing after my wording mistake and she should stop laughing at me because it’s mean and it hurts my feelings.

“Office is fine.” Water said.

“Ok but hang on a second. It’s a mess in there and I need to take some stuff out.” I said as I walked over to my office. “Wait here.” So I went inside my office and from the outside, Water heard me moving my junk over, and she even hears a cat screech inside. “Ok gotta move this here, and this here, what should I move out? Why do I have a cat in here? Ok here we go! Here’s the problem! This should give us plenty of space!” So I opened my office door again and took out a stapler and a pen, and I just placed them on the floor outside. “Ok there should be enough space now. C’mon in!” So Water followed me inside my office and saw that my office wasn’t really that messy.

“What’s the fuss about? There’s mess in here.” Water pointed out.

“I know. I just cleaned it out.” I reminded her.

“The pen and the stapler?” Water asked.

“Yes!” I said.

“Well then. I didn’t think staplers and pens take much space.” Water said.

“You know how many staples are in a stapler? A lot! So that takes a lot of space.” I said.

“How about the pen?” Water asked.

“I threw a blue pen out. Blue pens take the most space. Yes the color matters.” I said.

“Wow… racist.” Water said. “Anyways I need to talk to you about something, bro.”

“Hold that thought, sis.” I said as I took out a drawing of a kid with a pair of glasses. “Does this look like Harry Potter to you, or does it look like Arthur? “

“I dunno, Flare I might have a little problem.” Water said.

“C’mon tell me! I can’t really tell because of the clothing and the ears. If the glasses weren’t there, it might be less confusing.” I said.

“I’m sorry, Flare. But can you please listen to me?” she asked.
“What seems to be the problem, sis?” I asked.

“Well… it’s your friend Aqua. I met him today.” Water said.

“You knew him since you moved here.” I reminded her.

“I know, but I had a conversation with him today and… I dunno, I feel like… I might have a crush on your friend.” Water said.

“Ok, and?” I asked.

“That’s it?” Water asked.

“What else do you want me to say? Good for you? Ok there you go! Good for you, sis!” I said with an attitude. “Jeez you’re picky.”

“Well I didn’t think you’d be fine with it.” Water said.

“No it’s fine, Water. I’m just surprised you find him attractive.” I said.

“I know! I don’t get it either? But once we started talking I felt a feeling that I never felt before.” Water said.

“Wish I had a bit every time you said that.” I teased.

“Flare this is serious!” Water yelled.

“So am I. You know how many coltfriends I’ve seen you have? You always end up dumped in the end and I’m the one that has to hear all of it.” I complained.

“Well excuse me, but I’m your sister!” Water reminded me.

“And I’m the owner of the best pizza shop in Equestria. Any more obvious things you wanna say?” I asked.

“Why can’t you support me in my time of… umm… crushing?” Water asked.

“I do support you, Water, but in the end, you’re always just… I mean… I don’t wanna see you hurt again. I’ve seen your past coltfriends. They’ve been using you.” I said.

“Y-you think Aqua’s the same way?” Water asked.

“Wait… OOOOH! You were talking about Aqua?” I asked.

“Yeah. Who did you think I was talking about?” Water asked.

“Psyche.” I said.

“What made you think I was talking about him?” Water asked. “I said Aqua.”

“Yeah you kinda lost me there, I didn’t hear you say his name.” I said. “I thought you talking about Psyche because… well… it’s common-sense. He’s very attractive.”

“Yeah he is.” Water agreed. “But it’s Aqua that’s really been getting my heart to race lately. I mean… his accent, his looks, his personality! Not to mention, we both do a lot of amazing water spells.”

“Have you ever seen Aqua do magic before? How do you know he’s amazing?” I asked.

“You tell me about him all the time when we talked on the phone after I kept asking you to stop repeating conversations on ‘Mama Fluttershy’.” Water explained.

“HEY! Mama Fluttershy is amazing! She was pretty much the only Mane Six that begged me to come back to Ponyville after I ran off. Nopony ever begs to me.” I explained. “Except for that one time I kidnapped one of my bully’s little brothers in order to get back my Gamecolt from him, but… eh nevermind. Forget I said that.”

“So you think Aqua and I have a chance?” Water asked.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try.” I shrugged.

“Thanks, bro!” Water cheered in excitement as she hugged me. I’d continue this conversation but I don’t want to hog the entire chapter. I want it to be mainly focused on Aqua and Water, so let’s begin with that. Oh, and in good time too! Right after Water and I exited my office, Aqua came in. “Aqua!” Water cried out in surprise.

“Hey Water.” Aqua said. “Hey mates.”

“Hey Aqua.” Psyche, Blaze, Engie, and Crystal greeted him, but not in those words though. I didn’t hear what they said individually, and if I don’t hear it, it’s not on the chapter.

“Hey Flare, can I have some fettuccini alfredo?” Aqua asked.

“Red or white sauce?” I asked.

“Since when was fettuccini alfredo red sauce?” Psyche asked.

“Not too long ago recently. With the help of Zecora, I was able to make red cheese sauce! It’s delicious!” I said.

“I guess I can try that.” Aqua nodded.

“Hey Aqua!” Water said.

“Hey Water.” Aqua said. “Also, Flare, can ya gimmie some water for to drink?”

“Give you what for to drink?” I asked as I gave him a glass.

“Oh, ya already got it. Thank ya!” Aqua said as he takes the water and sips it.

“So, umm… Aqua. I… umm… I’ve been thinking lately, and… well… after I talked to you a bit today I felt… w-weird.” Water stuttered.

“Did I offend ya in a way?” Aqua asked.

“Not, it’s not that.” Water said. “I mean… no, you didn’t offend me one bit. In fact, you pretty much complimented me in a way.”

“Like how?” Aqua asked.

“I… umm… hang on, gotta powder my nose. I mean… I have to freshen up. No wait! I mean… I have to use the restroom!” Water freaked out as she ran to the bathroom quickly.

“Oh… I’m sorry for this, mate.” Aqua said to me.

“Pfff!” I pouted. “Don’t worry about it, brah. She’s just a little shy about that crush she has on you.”

“Water has a crush on me?” Aqua asked.

“Ooooooooo!” Crystal said excitedly and giggled. “Somepony’s got a cru-ush! Hey Aqua, you better protect yourself from her muscles!”

“What makes ya think she has a crush on me? Did she tell ya?” Aqua asked.

“YA, she did-ya!” I said.

“Alright, please quit it with teasing my accent? I really appreciate it.” Aqua asked.

“You appreciate me teasing my accent?” I asked.

“Ya should know what I mean.” Aqua said.

“No seriously, the way you said it.” I pointed out. “I mean of course I get it, but what if there are actually ponies that don’t? I was just testing you Aqua! Strange ponies out there.”

“I know… and I’m looking at one right now.” Aqua said.

“OOOOOOOOOH SNAP!” Crystal yelled.

“So ya think I should go out with her?” Aqua asked.

“If you think so, but she tends to be sensitive.” I said.

“Ya pretty much looking at another sensitive pony right now.” Aqua said.

“Really? You’re sensitive?” I asked. “I mean, yes, you’re quiet, but I don’t normally see your feelings hurt that often?”

“My feelings get hurt pretty easily. I just don’t bother showing it because I’m already hiding the pain in my past.” Aqua said. “I’m used to it.”

“Are your feelings hurt now?” I asked.

“Actually I’m more curious, and a little bit surprised as well.” Aqua said. “Water, she seems to be a very nice pony, and if she has a crush on me… I’m willing to give her a chance.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yep. I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I’m normally not a relationship type pony, but I’m always willing to try new experiences.” Aqua said. “I’m too usually, and if the mares are ever attracted to anypony in this group, it’s Psyche.”

“Got that swagger.” Psyche said.

Just then Engie whacks Psyche in the head with his wrench and yelled, “NO! No! Bad! Bad attractive pony! Bad!”

“OW!” Psyche yelled. “Ow! Ow! Normally I’d take that as an insult but thanks for calling me attractive.”

“No problem, partner.” Engie smiled at him as he whacked him on the head again.

“Ow!” Psyche yelled.

“So ya have no problem with Water and I dating?” Aqua asked.

“Would you have a problem if I dated Wind Racer?” I asked.

“She’s 15.” Aqua informed me.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah, she’s still a miner.” Aqua said. “So yeah, I kinda would have a problem with it.”

“Well I didn’t know!” I said in a squeaky voice in the beginning and a deep voice in the end. “Also Aqua, look at this picture; does this look like Harry Potter or Arthur?” I asked him as I showed him the same drawing that I showed Water back in my office.

“Phew!” Water said as she exited the bathroom while the toilet flushes behind her and a toilet paper is stuck on her shoe. “Glad I got that out of my system. Ok so what was I talking about again?”

“Ya want to go out with me?” Aqua asked.

“Oh good! You asked me so I didn’t have to stress myself to do so. I guess I won’t be needing this.” Water said excitedly as she throws a stress squeeze ball aside.

“Hey did you steal that from my office?!” I asked her angrily.

“Umm… no.” Water lied.

“LAIR!” I yelled at her. “How can I put up with you living in my trailer if you lie to me?!” I picked up the stress ball she threw aside and started squeezing it many times really fast. “Grrrrr!”

“So what do ya say, Water? Wanna go out?” Aqua asked.

“Wow, gosh, I… I don’t know what to say.” Water said nervously. “This is all so sudden.”

“It’s not like I’m asking to marry ya. It’s just a small simple date. Nothing much.” Aqua said.

“Well, I… umm… ok.” Water agreed. “Sure! Why not? I’d love to!”

“Good. So how about we meet at the Soup ‘n Salads tonight at 8?” Aqua suggested.

“Make that 8:30. I want to see the new episode of Two Broke Girls tonight.” Water said.

“Ok, 8:30 it is then.” Aqua agreed.

“Great! I’ll see you there!” Water said excitedly. “Oh my gosh! I should get ready!”

“It’s only 2 PM.” Blaze informed her.

“OH MY GOSH! Then I don’t have any time to lose!” Water yelled as she ran out of my shop in a hurry to get ready for Aqua’s date.

“So Aqua, you want to help us out in our parade float?” I asked.

“No thanks, mate. Being on a date for the first time is makin’ me pretty nervous. I’ll need to go do some research. I’ll check ya all later.” Aqua said as he walked out of my shop.

“I’m so proud of Aqua. Our little angel’s growing up.” Crystal said all teary eyed.

“I know, I’ve been grown up for a while.” The holy cow from the very first chapter of this story said.

“Oh not you, Holy Cow. We’re talking our friend Aquatic Armor.” Engie said.

“Oh… moo-kay.” Holy Cow said upsettingly.

“Hey how have things been going with you? It’s been quite a while.” I said.

“Not bad, not bad. I got me a full-time job at Chic-Fa-Le.” Holy Cow said. “Whoever eats at Chic-Fal-Le, I thank them with the praise of our lord and savior… me.”

“Got it! Best of luck to you!” I said.

“Moo too!” Holy Cow said as she flies off.

“You know it’s rare for a gag character to have two parts.” I said to my friends.

“I’m proud of you Flare. Despite what Mareami has done to you, and despite your awkwardness, you turned yourself into a great friend and helped out your sister AND Aqua.” Blaze said.

“And Water too.” I added.

“Now then, let us get started on working on my parade float.” I said.

“Wait, hold yer horses for a sec.” Engie stopped me.

“Ok.” I said as I put Blaze in a headlock.

“HEY!” Blaze yelled as he waved his arms around.

“What do you mean YER parade float?” Engie asked.

“Yeah, MY parade float.” I said.

“Who said it was yers?” Engie asked.

“I did.” I said.

“Excuse me, but I’m the one who mentioned there was parade in the first place.” Crystal said.

“Ok what are we doing?” Blaze asked.

“Being childish. Does it really matter who’s parade float it is?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah, yer right. Ah’m sure that type of friendship lesson on who this float belongs to is fairly obvious.” Engie said.

“How about we argue about what float to use?” I asked.

“Not very original, but I can’t think of anything better.” Blaze said.

“Well ah said ah wanted a kumquat float, didn’t ah?” Engie asked.

“And didn’t I say apple float?” Crystal asked.

“Well me, I choose a grape float. Mainly because that’s one of the only fruits I like. Green grapes, might I add.” Blaze said.

“I only like grapes when they’re hard and juicy, not soft and squishy.” Crystal said. “If any of you make a joke about that, I’ll rip off your eye-lashes!”

“We don’t have eye-lashes.” Psyche corrected her. “Scientific fact: male ponies cannot grow eye-lashes. It is a scientific impossibility. Eyelashes are only grown by female ponies… who go through puberty.”

“How about you Psyche? What kind of float do you want so we can argue about it?” Crystal asked.

“I dunno, if I had to pick… umm… plums.” Psyche said.

“Why? Because they’re your color?” Crystal asked.

“Umm… no… because I like plums.” Psyche corrected her.

“Well I pick olives because I-love it!” I said. “Get it? Olive it?”

“Olive and I-live don’t sound alike at all.” Psyche corrected me.

“Well you’re entitled to your opinion, Psyche.” I said as I patted his shoulder, and then I patted his other shoulder.

“Why did you pat both of my shoulders?” Psyche asked.

“I have this problem where what happens to one side has to happen to the other.” I explained as I lifted my hoof to explain to him and after I was done, I lifted my other hoof the same exact way. “Yeah.”

“So how are we going to find out who’s float we’ll use?” Blaze asked.

Before any of us could answer that queston, a small apricot, blank-flanked, pink maned filly comes into my shop and she asked in a Manehatten-type accent, “Scuse me? I’m looking for three fillies. One has a bow and the other has hair that looks like ice cream.”

“I dunno. You dudes know?” I asked my friends.

“Might have a hunch, but not so sure.” Engie said.

“What does the third filly look like?” Blaze asked.

”The third one looked like a chicken.” The filly said.

“OH! That’s much better! The Cutie Mark Crusaders! Yeah, I think I saw them tip-hoof passed here from outside. They looked like they were trying to avoid somepony.” I said.

“Yeah dats them. You seen them, buddy?” the filly asked.

“I think I saw them head over towards the movie theater. Why? They friends of yours?” Psyche asked.

“Somethin’ like dat.” The filly said.

“Alright well send them our regards and tell them best of luck to them at the Summer Harvest Parade.” I instructed her.

“Don’t worry. I will! Thanks!” the filly said mischievously as she chuckles and runs off.

“She seems nice.” Crystal said.

“Alright so let’s do this.” I said as I cleared my throat. “Aaaaah, I wanna do my parade float!”

“No I wanna do mine!” Crystal yelled.

“Kumquats are the way of the future! We must do a kumquat float!” Engie demanded as he slammed his hoof on the table.

“No! We must do grapes! They’re an important fruit, and they’re super-awesome!” Blaze demanded.

“NO! We must do- I’m sorry, don’t you all think this arguing is a lost cause?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah, we’re really going nowhere with this. We all know already that we’re not going to agree with this, and in the end, it’ll turn out we’ll combine our ideas into one.” Crystal said.

“Crystal’s right. We should just skip to buildin’ this float. Let the arguments set aside.” Engie said.

“I agree. So let’s just make a fruit-veggie platter float. What do you all think?” I asked.

”I’m ok with that.” Blaze said.

“Yeah same here.” Psyche said.

“Ditto.” Crystal said.

“Then let’s head over to my basement and get started. Perhaps we shall think of a conflicting situation while we build-up our float.” Engie said.

“I’m sure we’ll all think of an argument sooner or later.” Psyche said. “I mean we all do get aggravated over the simplest things sometimes.”

And just as you thought there wasn’t going to be any cutaway gags in this chapter; one shows Psyche at his house watching TV. “We interrupt this program to give you breaking news. Parasprites are invading Ponyville destroying everything that’s not food.” The news anchor said. “We have many buildings damaged and three ponies that passed out in fear. Let us speak with one of their friends. Tell me, miss, tell me about the-“

“The horror! THE HORROR!” Daisy cried.

“They just popped out of nowhere eating our food, and then they stopped and started eating everything else!” Lily Valley cried.

“Our gardens have been destroyed… again, and for the first time ever, my roof, my fence, my front lights, even my collection of sticks!” Rose cried showing the news anchor a broken stick. “This is horrible!”

“Wow this IS terrible.” Psyche said. “I was recording Sailor Moon before this stupid news alert interrupted. Now I have to wait for the rerun to see what I missed!” The cutaway ends.

Meanwhile, as the five of us try to think of something to argue about, Aqua was getting ready to date my sister. Aqua’s sister Wind Racer was just adjusting his tie a bit. “Is this really necessary, sis?” Aqua asked.

“Bro, if you want to impress this gal, you need to look your best, and this suit will help.” Wind Racer said.

“I look fine in my armor.” Aqua said.

“I know; I mean if we were dating, I would’ve said yes to the armor.” Wind Racer said. Aqua was silent for a moment, a little bit freaked out. “Yeah, forget I said that. That didn’t come out right.”

“So ya think this is the best way to impress Water?” Aqua asked.

“Am I sure? No, I’m not, but it is the best way I can think of, and that’s what counts, right?” Wind Racer asked.

“Sure, I guess.” Aqua said.

“You’ll do fine, bro! You’ll do awesome!” Wind Racer said as he held on to his shoulders. “Look at me, bro. Look me for a sec.”

“Ok.” Aqua said as he looked at her.

“Do I have a pimple on my cheek?” Wind Racer asked.

“No.” Aqua said.

“Ok good.” Wind Racer said as she releases Aqua’s shoulders. “Cause I’m getting ready for a date as well.”

“Oh yeah?” Aqua asked. “Who’s the lucky colt?”

“Oh it’s not a colt.” Wind Racer corrected him.

“Is it… a filly?” Aqua asked.

“Pffft! Don’t be silly, Aqua!” Wind Racer teased him. “I’m not like that!”

“Then… umm… who are ya datin’?” Aqua asked.

“Just follow the instructions you researched and you should do great! I am so proud of you, bro!” Wind Racer said.

“Umm… what?” Aqua asked.

“You have a great date, bro! Let me know how it goes!” Wind Racer instructed him as she pushes him out of the house and shuts the door and locks it, leaving Aqua outside in the dark all alone.

“I think the silliness of Ponyville folk is rubbin’ off on her.” Aqua said to himself. “Well… I guess it’s time for the date, but since this is my first date, I’ll need to use my safety training equipment.” Aqua takes out some safety pads and places them on the cheeks on his face, and then he checks to see if he has his fake credit card. “Actually… ya know what? This safety equipment is really unnecessary. This is Water Gun, Flare’s sister. I’m sure I won’t regret it.” Aqua removes all of his safety equipment and throws them in the trash. “I don’t need safety. I’ll do fine without it.” Aqua said as he hops on his bicycle with training wheels on it. “Who needs safety?” Aqua asked again as he puts on his helmet and then rides off to the streets of Ponyville to meet up with my sister at the Soup ‘n Salads.

8:30 came, and Water was waiting for Aqua outside the Soup 'n' Salads restaurant. She was pretty nervous because she wanted to impress Aqua. "Oh stallion, where is he?" Water asked nervously to herself. "I hope I look good. I don’t think five hours was nearly enough to get ready. I should’ve had myself an earlier start.” She looks over at a blue mare unicorn with a white wavy mane similar to Trixie’s, goes by the name of Dawnray, and my sister asks her, “Hey, do I look good to you?”

“You look great, dear! Love the dress!” Dawnray said to her.

“Thank you! I’m waiting for my date.” Water said.

“Nice! I’m just enjoying the cool night breeze.” Dawnray said.

“Back in Mareami, it was still pretty humid at night. The only times it was cool and breezy out was winter time, and only when a cold-front comes in.” Water said.

“What a shame. I doubt I’d survive in that weather.” Dawnray said as she stuck her tongue out at Water and waved her face around.

“Me neither.” Water said. “What’s the temperature anyway? It’s freezing out here, but at the same time I’m sweating.”

“You must be nervous. Calm yourself. Everything will be fine in your date, dear. I assure you.” Dawnray said.

“Thanks! What’s your name?” Water asked.

“Dawnray, but my friends call me Dawnie.” Dawnray said.

“Nice to meet you, Dawnie! I’m Water!” Water said with her hoof out.

“YOU can call me Dawnray.” Dawnray advised her.

“Oh… ok.” Water said upsettingly as she places her hoof down.

“Sorry. It just seems like a pet name to me.” Dawnray said as she sticks her tongue out at Water again and shakes her face again.

“You like sticking out your tongue, huh?” Water asked.

“My friends and I all do.” Dawnray said. “We call our group – The Group That Always Sticks Their Tongues Out.”

“Really?” Water asked.

“With a little Collin-P in the end, but my friend Fancy Paints uses a lower-case P, while Drift and I use a capital P.” Dawnray said.

“Cool!” Water nodded. “Oh look! Here comes my date now!” Aqua rides his bike over to Water and parks it near a pole and chain-locks the bike on it. “Oh wait, I’m nervous still. I’m still shaking. I didn’t bring flowers or chocolates!”

“Relax, Water. He’s the one that’s supposed to bring flowers and chocolates.” Dawnray corrected her.

“Oh… well then I’m no longer nervous, but I am furious cause I see he didn’t bring me any.” Water complained.

“Hey Water.” Aqua said.

“HEY AQUA!” Water screamed in his ear.

“OW!” Aqua yelled. “That hurt!”

“Sorry. I’m still nervous.” Water said.

“It’s ok, Water. I’m a bit nervous too, but ya should be used to it. Flare said ya have been on many dates.” Aqua said.

“What makes you say that?” Water asked as her hoof is standing on a calendar. “Oh right, this. Since when I was I standing on a calendar?” Because I said so. “So Aqua, anything new?”

“Umm… oh no I forgot the flowers.” Aqua mumbled to himself.

“What was that?” Water asked even though I know perfectly well that she heard him.

“Umm… uhhhh…” Aqua got pretty nervous. I’m pretty sure Aqua isn’t desperate to be in a relationship with Water, but I know she’s broken up with somepony recently and I know for a fact he doesn’t want to upset her, so he used his magic to pull a flower from a bush. Aqua tried as hard as he could but the flower was stuck inside the bush.

“Aqua, are you alright?” Water asked even though I know she knows what’s going- “Ok we get it! Shush!”

As Aqua continued to pull that flower that was stuck on the bush, he ended up pulling the whole bush out of place and the whole bush started levitating towards him. “Here. Flowers for ya, Water.”

“Yippie! Flowers! How wonderful, Aqua! Thank you!” Water said excitedly.

“It was my pleasure.” Aqua said as Water eats up the whole bush in one bite, and then she burps up some leaves, and a ladybug.

“Thanks for the appetizer, Aqua! That will sure save us money.” Water said.

“Of course.” Aqua nodded.

“Soooo… the Soup ‘n Salads, huh? Never been here before.” Water said as she looked at the restaurant.

“I can tell. Ya lookin’ at the Taco Shack building right now.” Aqua corrected her. “Soup ‘n Salads is just across the street.”

“Oh.” Water giggled to herself. “How silly of me!”

“Heh… no worries, mate. Let’s just head over there and have ourselves something good.” Aqua suggested as Water held onto Aqua’s hoof and they both walked across the street.

“Best of luck to you, dear!” Dawnray cried out to Water, waved to her, and then stuck her tongue out.

When the two of them got to the restaurant, they got themselves a round booth near an aquarium, and the two of them looked inside their menus. When the waiter came, they ordered their food and their drinks. “I’m gonna take a Bark Cesar Salad, medium-rare, ranch dressing.” Water said to the waiter.

“I’ll take a Coral-Noodle Soup, no peanuts.” Aqua ordered.

“Yeah actually, I’ll have what he’s having.” Water said to the waiter.

"Why did you change your mind?" Aqua asked her.

"Oh, umm.... when I dated Fonz, he ordered me to get the same thing he's getting.” Water said.

"Ya can get whatever you want. I don't care." Aqua said.

“Oh… well then… I’ll take a Bark Cesar Salad, and-“ Water said to the waiter but the waiter interrupts.

“I haven’t changed your order, ma’am.” The waiter said to her.

“Well then. That saves time!” Water said to the waiter as the waiter walks away.

“Alright. Gotta remember my research. Start it all with small-talk.” Aqua mumbled to himself. “So Water, how was your day?” he asked him.

“Well that’s a boring conversation starter. Here, lemme start up something.” Water suggested.

“Umm… alright. Go on ahead.” Aqua said.

“How was yo day, foo?” Water asked.

“Isn’t that what I asked?” Aqua asked.

“Well yeah, but the way you said it bored me. Don’t worry about it, Aqua. This is your first date. I won’t judge you.” Water said.

“Ok… well my day was fine.” Aqua said.

“Fine? Just fine?” Water asked.

“What do ya want me to say?” Aqua asked.

“Oh nevermind, please continue.” Water insisted.

“Alright… well, I went to work today.” Aqua said.

“Where do you work?” Water asked.

“At Ponyville’s Water Refinery.” Aqua said. “I make sure all the water in Ponyville is fresh and clean, and on certain days I help repair leaky pipes.”

“So you’re a plumber?” Water asked.

“I wouldn’t go far to call myself a plumber.” Aqua said. “I mean, I kinda am, but not really. Since I have a master’s degree, I’m a higher rank than a plumber is. I don’t just fix pipes; I also make sure the water is fresh and clean, and I don’t ever show my butt-crack.”

“Thank goodness for that, huh?” Water asked.

“Thank goodness for that.” Aqua agreed. “So how about ya day?”

"It was great! Your sister is so much fun, Aqua!" Water said.

"Oh really? Ya and Wind Racer seem to get along fine, huh?" Aqua asked.

"You betcha!" Water said.

"So what do ya do for a job?" Aqua asked.

"Oh I don't have a job yet." Water said.

"Oh, I could've sworn that Flare would've hired ya at his shop." Aqua said.

"Well, I did ask, but he said he's pretty full there." Water said.

"What? I could've sworn he'd hire his own sister." Aqua said.

"Well, he did say the only position available was janitor." Water said having a vision of all the mistakes and gross stuff she has to do if she was janitor. "But then I figured that's not the job for me."

"Ya won't have any argument from me. Nopony wants to be janitor." Aqua said as he chuckled.

"I know right?!" Water said said excitedly. "You gotta take my word on it. You know how disgusting it is cleaning bathrooms? Try cleaning Flare's bathroom when he's sick. Blah!"

"When Wind Racer was sick, I had to clean up the bathroom as well. It wasn't an easy task, ya know." Aqua said.

"I hear ya, buddy." Water said.

"Man, our siblings." Water and Aqua said at the same time, and then they both laughed. Uh oh, I can see a connection coming along! Do you ship these two together? I do!

"I should've got to know you earlier, dude. You're really fun!" Water said.

“Thanks, ya two.” Aqua nodded.

“Ya ya ya, what’s with the ‘yas’?” Water asked.

“Ya know… I’m ok with ya teasin’ me about that.” Aqua nodded.

“Well that’s nice. Where's our food?! I'm so hungry right now!" Water complained.

"It'll come, don't worry." Aqua said as he smiled at Water.

“This would be a great chance for the two of us to continue this conversation.” Water said as she stared at Aqua.

“Ok… I did say I’m ok with ya teasing me about my accent but starin’ at me is still uncomfortable.” Aqua said.

“How about this?” Water asked as she blind-folded herself.

“Much better.” Aqua nodded as he sighed. We'll continue with these love birds later.

Meanwhile over at Engie’s basement, the five of us were getting prepared in building ourselves a combination float. Engie’s robot mom comes down and asks us, “Would you kids like some brownies and lemonade?”

“Oh yes please, Miss Robomom.” Psyche said.

“Can I have some nuts with it?” I asked.

“Of course.” Robomom said as she takes a nut shaker out of her metal chest chest (it’s a storage chest on her chest area) and shakes some nuts on some of the brownies. “Here you go, dear.”

“Actually… I wanted nuts in my lemonade.” I corrected her. Robomom did so and I got excited. “Yay! I’m nuts for my lemonade! Is pun intended? Who cares? Nuts in my lemonade!”

“Thanks ma! These are delicious!” Engie said.

“Ah’m glad ya find them delicious, dear. They were made from grandma’s secret recipe.” Robomom said.

“Yee-haw!” Engie cried.

“Wait, Engie, didn’t you build your mom? Which means you’re your own grandparent?” Psyche asked.

“Illogical… illogical…” robomom said as her head explodes.

“Yeah, that’s why ah didn’t correct her, Psyche.” Engie said to him.

“Alright so are we building this float?” Blaze asked.

“And how are we going to argue about it?” I asked.

“Flare, do we have to argue about it? It doesn’t seem necessary.” Psyche said.

“Psyche, bro, this whole situation won’t make sense unless we argue about something. I want to give Princess Luna another letter. I’m close to another free dinner.” I explained.

“So that’s it? All this for a free dinner?” Blaze asked.

“It’s not so much of the dinner, more like seeing Princess Luna. I haven’t seen her since our return from Chaos Mountain, and I haven’t sent her a letter in a while.” I said.

“It’s ok, man. Just send her a letter and say you two should hang out.” Blaze suggested.

“Oh sure, Blaze, it’s that simple!” I said sarcastically. “Hey while I’m at it, why don’t I donate to charity? Why don’t I build a ship in a bottle? Heck, how about I just stop making the Friendship is Epic series? C’MON, BLAZE! Make sense!”

“Well if you want to argue about something. How about the argument you two are having now?” Crystal asked.

“Illogical…” Robomom said again as her body blows up. Her head blew up before, not her torso.

“C’mon, Crystal! What kind of friendship lesson is that? Arguing about arguments? Even I’m not that far-fetched.” I said.

“So how about that float, huh?” Engie asked. “We should quit our procrastinatin’. The parade is tomorrow.”

“Wow, already? Time moves by fast.” Crystal shook her head and said.

“So we want a grape-olive-kumquat-plum… umm… what was yours again, Crystal?” Engie asked.

“Apple, I think, but I think I’m thinking of changing my mind, I think.” Crystal said.

“Nice tongue twister, Crystal.” Blaze said.

“Thanks! Anyways, I’m thinking of changing mine to banana.” Crystal said.

“Banana?” a minion asked.

“Actually no.” Crystal said.

“Awww.” The minion complained.

“Actually…. Coconut!” Crystal said.

“Coconut?” a Jamaican minion asked.

“Seriously?” Crystal asked.

“Ya-mon.” the minion said.

“How about spinach? Is there a minion that likes spinach?” Crystal asked.

“Aye-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!” Popeye said.

“This will take a while for me to think about.” Crystal said.

“And it’s going to take me a while to think of an argument for us to use.” I said. “I don’t think I can take a group project without some sort of argument and then resolving it. That’s what Equestria is all about.”

“Really? Cause ah thought Equestria was all about giggin’ at unfunny jokes, statin’ the obvious, and apologizin’ and huggin’ each other constantly?” Engie asked.

“Different ponies have different points of view on Equestria, Engie.” Psyche said. “So anypony up for a jelly-baby?”

Meanwhile with Aqua and Water, they were just finishing up their meals. “Ah! That was delicious! Much better soups and salads than what Flare has, forgive me Flare.” Water said.

“I agree. It’s not often I get to go out to dinner with just one other pony. I normally just go out with all of my friends at once.” Aqua said.

“Wait, I thought you said this was your first date?” Water asked.

“I go out to dinner with my sister sometimes, but she prefers eating at home most of the time.” Aqua said.

“Your bill.” The waiter said as he gives Aqua the bill.

“Oh allow me, Aqua. It’s my duty as the marefriend to pay for our expensive meal all by myself.” Water said.

“Huh? Oh no need, Water. I got it.” Aqua insisted.

“No, no, no, no! It’s my job to pay for the meal.” Water said.

“Who told ya that?” Aqua asked.

“Fonz did.” Water said.

“Again with Fonz?” Aqua asked. “I keep tellin’ ya, mate; I am not Fonz.”

“I know you’re not Fonz, but he said the stallion of the relationship is superior in every way, and I agree with him. I’m the fool, Aqua.” Water said.

“No ya not. Stallions are no better than mares. Why would ya agree with that, please pardon my language, that garbage?” Aqua asked.

“I don’t know… every stallionfriend I had is always tough.” Water said.

“Every single one?” Aqua asked.

“Except with for that one wheelchair pony back at home with the volley-ball scar on his face.” Water said. “By the looks of him, he seemed tough.”

“Ya like tough ponies?” Aqua asked.

“I do! They’re rough snugglers and I like that!” Water said.

“Seems weird.” Aqua said.

”It’s who I am, Aqua. I can’t help that.” Water said.

“I won’t judge ya.” Aqua said.

“Shouldn’t you be correcting me and try to improve my attitude?” Water asked.

“No, Water. Ya fine the way ya are.” Aqua said.

“You’re so laid back. Why are you so laid back?” Water asked. “It’s weird.”

“Water, I’m not a tough pony. I’m kind, gentle, and I play the good guys on World of Warcraft.” Aqua said. “In fact I play the good guys on every single game that let’s ya choose. In Star Wars I play the light side, I unlock every single positive emote on Fable, and on Grand Theft Auto I always say sorry every time I crash into another vehicle.”

“You’re like my brother, Aquaman. No wonder you two get along great.” Water said.

“And ya like ya brother too. He calls me Aquaman sometimes.” Aqua said.

“So you’re not a tough guy huh?” Water asked. “C’mon don’t lie! I’m sure there’s toughness in you somewhere.” Aqua takes money out of his wallet and places it all on the bill. “Keep the change.”

“Very good, sir.” The waiter said as he takes the bill.

“So it’s true then. You’re gentle, sensitive, and kind.” Water said.

“If ya don’t like it, it’s fine.” Aqua said. “I’ll just getting going now. That was a good dinner, Water. It was nice getting to know ya.”

“But Aqua, can’t we make this work?” Water asked.

“I’m not the type of pony ya lookin’ for. I’m sorry. I’ll see ya around.” Aqua said as he walks out of the restaurant and begins to head home.

“Aqua wait, come back!” Water yelled as she ran outside to chase him. “Aqua! No he’s already gone! I guess I’ll try again tomorrow then. I’ll see him at the parade.”

“I’m still here though, actually.” Aqua said. “I don’t remember where I put my bike.”

“Didn’t you park it across the street?” Water asked.

“Oh yeah, that’s right.” Aqua remembered. “Thanks. So what did ya want to tell me?”

“D’oh I already made my decision to just talk to you tomorrow. It’s too much effort to change my mind. See you at the parade.” Water said as she walks off.

“And I didn’t even need the safety for this date.” Aqua said as he puts back on his bike helmet.

Meanwhile back at Engie’s basement, we continued to build the float, but we weren’t even a quarter of the way done and some of us were getting tired. “Ugh! Are we almost done? I don’t think we’re gonna get this done on time!” I complained.

“It’s only 9 PM, Flare. We have plenty of time.” Engie said.

“Plenty of time? Where’s sleep?” I asked.

“We can pull this all-nighter, no problem!” Engie said.

“No we can’t.” I argued with him.

“Yeah we can.” Engie argued with me.

“No we can’t.”

“Yeah… we can.”

“No we- nope, still not a good enough argument.” I said.
“C’mon we can do this, guys.” Blaze said. “I mean look, we got the wheels and steering wheel done. Isn’t that something?”

“Once Psyche comes back with our coffee we’ll have no problems with this all-nighter!” Crystal said.

“Uhh, Crystal? I’ve been back, and you finished your coffee 10 minutes ago.” Psyche corrected her.

“Oh… well that’s the power of caffeine, baby.” Crystal said.

“I don’t drink coffee though. That’s why I asked Psyche for a hot chocolate.” Blaze said.

“And you didn’t drink it yet.” Psyche said.

“I’m waiting for it to cool down.” Blaze said.

“Yep, hot chocolate: the beverage no one drinks until it cools down.” I said.

“Alright, partners. Ah’ll need a 4x6 socket wrench to make some adjustments to the lever pulleys. Can somepony pass me one?” Engie asked.

“On it.” Crystal said as she walks over to Engie’s tool box to look for the socket wrench. “But one question though.”

“Yeah the socket wrench is the one with the twisty circle top, Crystal.” Engie said.

“That’s not what I was going to ask, I’m not stupid, I know what a socket wrench looks like.” Crystal said. “I was going to ask which one is the 4x6 one?”

“Here, just take them out one at a time, show them to me, and ah’ll tell you.” Engie said.

“Ok.” Crystal said as she takes out one of the socket wrenches.

“That’s a 6x8 socket wrench.” Engie said.

“Ok, how about this one?” Crystal asked as she shows him another one.

“That’s a 3x9 socket wrench.” Engie said.

“This one?” Crystal asked with another one.

“Close. That’s a 4x6 pipe wrench.” Engie said.

“Can’t you just use this?” Crystal asked.

“No we have to do it by the book.” Engie said.

“What book, Engie?” Blaze asked.

“This book, Blaze.” Engie said as he points to his head.

“Hmm…” I thought to myself as I was reading Engie’s head right after I removed his helmet. “Yeah this must be some sort of foreign alien language because I can’t read it.”

“That’s just the spots on mah shaved head, Flare.” Engie corrected me.

“I thought you were bald?” Blaze asked.

“Ah was but ah started growin’ back a bit. Since the cool weather isn’t too far away ah decided to let it grow a bit.” Engie said.

“How about this one, Engie?” Crystal asked with another tool.

“That’s a 7x8 cake wrench.” Engie said.

“A cake wrench?” Blaze asked.

“Sometimes ah have to make sure if ah bake a cake, ah have to make sure it’s twisted on correctly.” Engie said.

“How about this one, Engie?” Crystal asked with another tool.

“That’s a mallet.” Engie pointed.

“Oh sorry, that’s mine.” Gallagher said as he takes the mallet and runs off.

“Yeah this is going to take a while.” Psyche said.

“No it’s not.” I argued with him.

“Flare, quit it with trying to argue. It’s not going to work.” Psyche said.

“C’mon Psyche! The two of us are always going at each other!” I said.

“AAAAAH! My melons!” a pony yelled from outside.

“WOOOOO!” Gallagher yelled from outside.

Meanwhile back at my trailer, Water was getting ready for bed and as she climbs into bed she starts talking to herself. No I will not call her crazy because I talk to myself too. In fact, I’m pretty much talking to myself half the time I make the story. “I don’t understand. Is toughness really what I want in a coltfriend? It doesn’t make much sense. I like Aqua! I really do! Perhaps I need to make a different approach.”

A cutaway shows Aqua sitting on a park bench and Water walks over to him while pushing a heavy box. She wipes her sweat and said to him, “Phew! Hey Aqua! Want to stare at me as I carry this heavy box?”

“Huh?” Aqua asked.

Water walks over to the side of the box with her back facing him. “Look out Aqua! I’m about to pick up this heavy box. Watch my back.” Just then, Water crouches towards the ground and tries to pick up. What? You think she was going to bend-over as she tries to pick up that heavy box? C’mon, she’s smarter than that! You have to crouch while trying to pick up something, not bend-over. “Aqua can you help me out please?”

“Um, sure.” Aqua said as he uses his magic to easily pick up the box.

“Oh… right… I forgot about that.” Water said. The cutaway ends.

“Or maybe it’s the way I’m dressed.” Water thought. “Maybe I should dress into something that shows a little more skin.”

A cutaway shows Aqua sitting on the same park bench, and Water walks up to him and says, “Hey, Aqua! How do I look?”

Aqua looks at her pretty surprised. “Wow… ya look… I never expected that.”

“You like it? I got his sumar wrestler outfit from Party City.” Water said as she was wearing an inflatable beige sumar wrestler costume. The cutaway ends.

“Or perhaps I need to take a different approach WHILE showing more skin.” Water said.

A cutaway shows Water with the sumar wrestler outfit and carrying a heavy box towards Aqua. “Don’t mind me, Aqua. I’m just about to pick-up this heavy box.” Water said, but this time she does bend over while wearing the costume.

“Ugh!” Aqua said in a disgusted tone while covering his eyes. The cutaway ends.

“I don’t know. There has to be a way to impress Aqua. I never not had a coltfriend for this long before. What was that word again that means you’re not in a relationship?” Water asked herself. “Oh right, alone! Well it’s not going to be that way for long. I’m really going to wow him tomorrow, and I’ll show him that I can handle a gentle-colt.”

“Good luck with that.” A voice said from the other side of the room.

“Huh? Who’s there?” Water asked.

“I’m a thief that broke into your trailer and is stealing all of your stuff.” The pony said. “Didn’t your brother remind you not to leave the door unlocked? Shame on you, missy!”

“I got so much on my mind! I can only do so much at a time!” Water complained.

“Well regardless, I hope things go well with you and Aqua.” The thief said.

“Hey thanks! When you finally get arrested, I’ll be sure to come and visit.” Water said.

“Hey thanks!” the thief said happily as he takes some of Water’s stuff, stuffs them in his sack, and runs off.

After a while went by, back at Engie’s basement, Crystal was still looking for the socket wrench Engie was looking for in his toolbox. “Is it this one?” Crystal asked.

“No that’s a 3x9 socket wrench.” Engie said.

“How about this one?” Crystal asked.

“That’s a 2x4 socket wrench.” Engie said.

“How… about… this one?” Crystal asked as she struggles to hold a humongous socket wrench,

“That’s a 300x500 socket wrench.” Engie said.

“How about this one?” Crystal asked as she wasn’t holding anything on her hoof.

“That’s a 0x0 socket wrench.” Engie said.

“Engie can’t you just whack the parade float with the wrench you always use like when you build dispensers and sentries?” Blaze suggested.

“I can, but where’s the fun in building something when we could just work together to build something?” Engie asked. “Ya can’t rush perfection.”

“Wow, Engie, that is a very important lesson to learn. Very good! That could be our friendship lesson this week!” I said impressively. “But we’re not gonna use it because I still want to do the argument lesson.”

“Wait a second, Engie. You mean all this time you could just whack the parade float and it’s done?” Psyche asked.

“Well… yeah.” Engie said.

“You do realize we would’ve been done and home already by now right?” Psyche asked.

“Think of it how you like, Psyche. Ah’ve enjoyed the time we all had together.” Engie said.

“Well this is great then!” Blaze said excitedly. “Go ahead, Engie. Build up the float and we can all head home and get some sleep for the big day.”

“Well, two things Blaze. One: ah just finished it. How does it look?” Engie asked as he just finished building the olive-kumquat-plum-grape-banana float.

“Nice!” Blaze nodded.

“Very impressive, Engie!” Psyche said.

“But wait what are the bananas? They weren’t my final decision.” Crystal said.

“Ah decided it for you.” Engie said.

“Whatever.” Crystal said. “As long as minions don’t attack the float we should be fine.”

“And what was that other thing you were going to say, Engie?” Blaze asked.

“There was a second thing?” Engie asked.

“Yeah, you said two things, and one you already build the float, what was the other one?” Blaze asked.

“Oh right! It’s already day-time so we have to go to the parade, not sleep.” Engie said.

“But we weren’t even up all night building this!” Crystal complained.

“No but we were up all night trying to find that stupid socket wrench.” Psyche said.

“Ah still wonder where it- OH! There it is! It was underneath the float the whole time!” Engie said as he picks up the wrench from under the float. “Ah was usin’ it for the wheels and must’ve left it down there.

“UGH!” Blaze groaned and facehooved himself. “Let’s just go to the parade already!”

Meanwhile at Aqua's house, Aqua was walking down to his kitchen to make some breakfast, so he sits down at his table and starts eating the pancakes that were in front of him. But wait, how did those pancakes get there? Aqua was staring at the pancakes and how they got there because he didn't make them.
"Windy? Is this my breakfast on the table?" Aqua yelled from across the house.

"I don't know what you’re talking about, bro! The table was empty last I checked." Wind responded from the Living Room.

"Hmm." Aqua was really concerned about how the food got there, when suddenly, Water walked into the kitchen carrying Aqua's laundry.
"Morning Aqua!" Water said.

"Mornin Water." Aqua said as he was eating his pancakes, but then Aqua became surprised and spit out his food. He then drank his coffee and spit that out too because it was more effective than spitting out food. "Water? What are ya doing here this early?"

"I came to make you breakfast and do your chores." Water said.

"Why? I mean, it's nice of ya to do this, but why?" Aqua asked.

"Well, that's what marefriends do to the coltfriend's, right? Right, Aqua? Right?" Water asked.

"Oh, we're in a relationship now?" Aqua asked.

"Aren't we?" Water asked.

Aqua was confused. "I thought I wasn’t ya type?”

“I thought so too, but I was really desperate and did not want to be alone anymore, so I decided to come over and give you another chance! I don’t care if you’re gentle or rough, Aqua. Just being with you is all I need!” Water explained as she gives Aqua a hug.
.
"Umm…” Aqua said to himself. “Ya may not know it, but I’m not much of a hugger.”

“Oh sorry.” Water said as she releases Aqua from her grasp. “Anything for my Aquey-Walky!” Aqua felt a little uncomfortable after she said that to him and he just decided to return to his breakfast.

“Like the pancakes I made?” Water asked.

“Yeah they’re delicious.” Aqua said.

“Good! I made them with love!” Water said as she boops him in the nose.

“So I see.” Aqua said awkwardly. Water just giggled at him and Aqua wasn’t liking it that much. “Umm, Water, h-how about we head over to the parade and see Flare and the others with the new float?”

”Good idea, baby! Whatever you want, I’ll always be there!” Water said.

“Ok then.” Aqua said awkwardly. “Let’s… ummm… l-let’s h-head over there.”

“Great! Want a doggy-bag so you can take the pancakes home as leftovers?” Water asked.

“We are at my house, mate.” Aqua corrected her.

”Well that saves paper!” Water said as she giggled. “Let’s go!”

”Hey bro, don’t forget, if any of the parade floats start throwing candy, be sure to give me some!” Wind Racer yelled out from the living room.

“I’ll give ya all my peanut ones!” Aqua called back.

“Save the 3-Muskateers for me. I love those.” Water said.

A little while later over at the streets of Ponyville, everypony was setting up for the Summer Harvest Parade. After we signed up, we were just refueling the float or and oiling ourselves up for the parade. Umm, I mean, the other way around. “That polka music playing in the background,” I said upsettingly to myself, “it reminds me of my accordion.”

“Don’t worry, man. You’ll get a new one soon.” Blaze said as he comforted me.

“For polka’s sake, I hope you’re right.” I said.

“Hey! This the same song I used when I helped fend off the parasprites!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Hey there you are, Pinkie! Weren’t you right next to us a little while ago after I smelled something good but you stole the scent from me?” Spike asked her.

“No, I don’t remember being there.” Pinkie said.

“Oh crud… Twilight, we have a clone survivor!” Spike called out to Twilight annoyingly.

“Last year, everypony would’ve thought it was a changeling, but after the mirror pool crisis that theory’s changed.” I said to my fiends.

Meanwhile over at the crowd, Water and Aqua headed over to their spots where they will be watching the parade. “I bought some seats so we don’t have to stand the whole time.” Water said.

“Good call, Water.” Aqua said.

“Thanks, hun!” Water said as she sets up the chairs. Aqua sighs after she said that. “There we go! I got ourselves matching seats!”

“Umm… ok.” Aqua said awkwardly as he sits down on one of the seats, and then Water heads over and sits on his lap. “Hey!”

“Hi horse!” Water said excitedly to Aqua.

“Why are ya sittin’ on my lap? What’s wrong with ya seat?” Aqua asked.

“Oh that seat? That’s just where I’m putting my drink.” Water said as she places her drink on the spare seat she bought. “Don’t marefriends sit on their coltfriend’s laps and pretend they’re Santa?”

“I-I didn’t see that in m-my research.” Aqua said.

”Where did you research anyway?” Water asked.

“I went on YaTube and watched some videos.” Aqua said.

Water started laughing. “I always think you’re teasing me with that accent.” Aqua didn’t say anything and just sat there.

As the five of us were setting the float, we took a sneak peek at our competition. “Why is Doctor Whooves wearing a pear outfit?” Blaze asked.

“Isn’t this the type of parade to wear costumes? Maybe we should’ve made some.” Crystal said.

“I know but the Doctor hates pears. Maybe when he changed incarnations he preformed a love for it.” Blaze said.

“Nope. I still hate pears, my good chap.” The Doctor said. “I just wear this to show how much I hate it.”

“Ok then.” Blaze said.

“That makes no sense to me. Why advertise something you hate to show how much you hate it? Doesn’t anyone have anything better to do with their lives than waste them showing how much they hate something?” I asked.

“You wanna see somethin’ else that’s confusin’? Ah see Amethyst Star many times in the audience, and ah see her again in that tomato float.” Engie pointed out. “Ah swear, that mirror pond.”

“Or changeling.” I added.

“Or just an error.” Psyche said.

“Oh shut up, Psyche! Make sense!” I advised him.

“Eh, sometimes I see a replica of myself too, but I just ignore it and move on.” The Doctor said.

“Are you cheatin’ on Derpy for Cloud Kicker, Doctor?” Engie asked him. “Cause ah saw you at the movies with Cloud Kicker. Got something to confess?”

Back with Aqua and Water, they were seeing on who they could find at the parade. "I don't see Flare and the others." Water said.

"I see the Crusaders with a golden apple float." Aqua pointed out.

"Oh I see them too." Water said.

"Ya really do, or ya just agreein with me cause ya think we’re a couple?" Aqua asked.

"Both." Water said.

"I also see Amethyst Star with a tamato float." Aqua pointed out. “And I see her here too.”

"You say tomato weird." Water said with a chuckle, but then she covered her mouth in fright . "Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that! Please don't hit me!"

“I-I'm not gonna hit ya, Water." Aqua said giving himself a facehoof. "Ya gotta stop with that.”

"Sorry, sorry." Water said.

Aqua peeks over and finally sees our float. “What in the living… what?”

"What happened?" Water asked.

"There’s Flare and the others with that… what is this? Is that supposed to be a fruit of a veggie?” Aqua asked.

"I have no idea." Water said. "Wanna go see them?"

"I'll see them after the parade. Ya can go ahead." Aqua insisted.

"No, no. I'd rather stay here. It makes you happy." Water insisted.

"Umm, I have to go to the restroom." Aqua said. “Unless ya gonna say ya wanna join me?”

"No, ew! That’s disgusting, dude!” Water said. “But I’ll come with you and wait outside the door! I can do that!”

"Uhhh, no thank you. Ya stay here and protect our spot." Aqua suggested.

"Are you sure? You think I'll behave myself?" Water asked.

"I know for sure." Aqua said as he trotted off. Water looked around, and then she started tip-hooving over to our float to see what we were up to. The five of us were all inside of our float getting it ready.

"Ah, this looks like a fantastic float! I love it!" Crystal said excitedly.

"Yeah, I gotta say, we did good.” Blaze said. “So I’ll say it now: we did it go.”

"Eeyup." Engie said.

"Hey bro, hey guys!" Water said trotting over to us and hops inside the float with us.

“Who’s the bro and who’s the guys?” Crystal asked.

"Hey Water! How are things with Aqua?" I asked.

"It's going great, Flarey!" Water said excitedly. "I think he's a keeper."

"Really? I knew there was something off about him.” I said.

"It’s awesome possum, isn’t it?” Water asked

"Yes, of course! But I don't want to say that all the time, that's what everypony expects." I said.

"This float is gonna rock everypony's socks off, Water!" Crystal said.

"What kind of float is that anyway?" Water asked.

"It's a plum-kumquat-olive-banana-grape float." Psyche said. "You see, Water, we couldn't agree on what theme float we'd do, so we decided to put all of our ideas in one."

"And we'll win the contest for sure!" Crystal said excitedly.

"Wait, this was a contest?" Blaze asked.

"Duh, it's a contest! Where have y’all been in the past few days, Blaze?" Engie asked.

"Nopony told me it was a contest." Blaze said.

"OF COURSE IT'S A CONTEST, BLAZE!" Pinkie yelled in his face and started hoping towards her float.

"Ow! Say that louder why don't ya?" Blaze complained while holding his ears.

"OF COURSE IT'S A CONTEST, BLAZE!" Pinkie yelled in a megaphone at his face. Blaze started shaking and heard nothing but ringing in his ears. His ear drums just bursted out. Seriously, there were drums in his ears. Why? Cartoon logic.

"Wow, you alright, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked Blaze from outside of our float.

"What?" Blaze asked.

"Ah said, you alright, Blaze!?" AppleJack said a little louder.

"What was that?!" Blaze asked.

"Pinkie's megaphone might've been too loud, and it might've made him deaf." Psyche said to her.

"Oh." AppleJack said.

“It’s only temporarily though, I assure you that.” Psyche said.

AppleJack then looked over at our float in confusion. "What in tarnation is this? Ah know food and that there don't look like any food ah seen."

"Oh we didn't know which theme float to use so we combined our food ideas.” I said.

“Ah can see that, and ah’ll be honest, this isn’t the weirdest thing ah’ve ever seen.” AppleJack said.

A cutaway shows Gabe Newell reading his emails. He looks at one of the emails and the emails reads ‘ur fat lol’. Gabe then picks up a phone, dials, and then said on the phone, “Hello? Is this Hasbro? Yeah, this is Gabe Newell. Delay MLP season 3.” The cutaway ends.

“So you in the parade, AJ?” Crystal asked.

"No, but Apple Bloom at her friends are. Well, actually they were, but they given their float to my and Apple Bloom's cousin, Babs Seed." AppleJack explained.

"Oh, cool! Which one is their float? I bet it's the squash one!" I guessed.

"Flare, you obviously don't know the apple family." Psyche said.

"Of course I do, I known them longer than you have!" I reminded him.

"See that golden apple leading the parade?" Psyche asked me pointing to it.

"Yeah, I bet it's pretty expensive." I said.

"They're riding that." Psyche said.

"How is that possible? The Apple family ain't that rich." I said. “Now if Expensive Headpiece or Colorless Tableware were riding it, then it would make sense.”

“They used golden glitter.” AppleJack said.

"You know what would be really cool? If we put that golden glitter on chocolate ice cream!" Crystal suggested.

"Why?" Psyche asked.

"Because then it would be rich!" Crystal teased and laughed. We all laughed along, except for Blaze.

"What?" Blaze asked. "What, why are we all laughing?"

“Well ah gotta get goin’ to see the parade. Good luck to y’all!” AppleJack said as she walks away and passes Aqua while she was at it. “Howdy Aqua!”

"Hey AppleJack. Oh there you are, Water!" Aqua said as he hops inside our float.

"AQUA! Oh I'm so sorry! Please don’t be mad! I should’ve stayed there, I’m sorry!” Water begged.

"Oh sweet Celestia, Water." Aqua said with an irritated tone and a facehoof. "Water, I'm sorry, but I've been thinking."

"You were thinking? That's a first." Crystal teased.

"You were thinking of what?” Water asked.

“Umm… are ya sure ya ready for a relationship? Because this might be a bit much.” Aqua asked.

“What’s wrong with you, Aqua? I kept saying I’m ready.” Water said.

“I think this is the first time I asked.” He corrected her.

“Well regardless, do you not think I’m ready?” Water asked.

“I… umm… I don’t know. What do I say?” Aqua asked.

“I have no idea what all of you are talking about cause all I hear is ‘bllllling’.” Blaze said.

“BLAZE!” Engie yelled at him. “AQUA WANTS TO BREAK UP WITH WATER AND TRY WITHOUT BREAKING HER HEART!”

“Wait, WHAT?!” Water yelled.

“Shut up, Engie. No he doesn’t!” I corrected him angrily.

“Actually, Flare…” Aqua said.

“You want to break up with me?!” Water yelled at Aqua.

“It’s not like that, Water. Nothin’ personal.” Aqua tried to calm her down.

“Don’t lie, Aqua, it is personal.” Engie corrected him.

“Engie, SHUT UP!” I yelled at him.

“Yeah, Engie!” Crystal agreed. “Yay! I’m part of the conversation!”

“What? I can’t hear a thing!” Blaze yelled.

“You really want to break-up with me, Aqua, and you don’t even have the guts to tell me yourself? What’s wrong with you?” Water asked.

“Flare said ya were sensitive and I didn’t want to hurt ya.” Aqua explained.

“Yeah and look where that’s gotten you.” Engie teased.

“Engie, you’re REALLY trying my patience!” I yelled at him.

“Why are you mad at me? Aqua wants to break up with water.” Engie asked.

“No I don’t! I mean… yeah, but…” Aqua stuttered.

“So you can’t just tell me yourself?!” Water yelled at him.

“Ok everypony SHUT UP!” Psyche yelled. “I’m tired of this arguing!”

“Arguing? Wait… yes! We’re arguing!” I cheered. “Yes! A new friendship lesson! This is exactly what I wanted!”

“Well this is probably a bad time because the float is moving.” Psyche pointed out.

”Psyche c’mon, stay on topic.” Crystal suggested.

”I’m serious, look.” Psyche pointed. So we all looked outside and saw that our float was moving on the parade.

“Wait what are you all looking at?” Blaze asked as he looks over later than all of us. “Oh, the parade started! Hi everypony! Check out a big awesome fruit basket!”

“And veggie, there’s one veggie.” I reminded him.

“Aqua, why?” Water asked.

“Ya mad at me because I don’t have the courage to break ya heart?” Aqua asked.

”If you don’t want me? Why not just say so?” Water asked.

“Flare said ya sensitive. Ya just went through a major break-up and I don’t want ya to feel upset.” Aqua said.

“Well you darn right made me upset! This has been a major problem in my past! Nopony ever points out my errors and are, how you say, ‘too nice’ to tell me the truth. I just get ignored for that, and I hate that! That’s why I loved Fonz! He points out my errors! He was harsh yes, but at least he was honest!”

“He WAS NOT honest! He used you to get to Flare.” Engie reminded her.

“Besides that!” Water yelled.

“Wow so many Bon Bons, Amethyst Stars, Caramels, Raindrops, Carrot Tops, and Cherry Berries out there. How is that possible?” Blaze asked.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me, Aqua? It would’ve been so much easier!” Water yelled.

“I’m sorry, Water. Being rough isn’t my thing! Quit trying to push me, mate!” Aqua yelled.

“How do I even know all of YOU are not hiding anything from me?!” Water asked all of us.

“Hey whoa, ah barely know ya.” Engie said.

“Neither do I. Other than you overreacting, I have no other opinion about you!” Psyche yelled.

“This arguing is so much fun!” I said excitedly.

“Flare! Shush! Why are you not helping out your sister or any of your friends? All you care about is those stupid arguments!” Psyche yelled.

“It’s not for me, it’s for Luna!” I yelled.

“AAAAAH! Why can’t I think of anything to argue about?!” Crystal yelled.

"Hey what's with all the racket over there?" Blaze asked looking at Pinkie's float and the Crusader float hitting eachother. “Wow. Bumper cars it’s like.”

“Ok Water, I’m sorry, alright?” Aqua said.

“How about actually proving to me that you’re tough? C’mon, Aqua! Prove it!” Water yelled as she begins to shove him.

“Water, please?” Aqua asked.

“DO IT!” Water yelled as he pushes him again.

"Hey get outta the way ya crazy drivers!" Blaze yelled at the other floats. “Oooo, Pinkie’s float just crashed into the grass.”

“C’mon PROVE IT!” Water yelled as she pushes Aqua so hard that he knocks into Blaze and it makes Blaze hit his head on the steering wheel and passes out.

“Water are ya doin’ this? This is unnessarry!” Aqua yelled.

“Prove your toughness! Break up with me!” Water yelled.

“OK! We’re done, Water! I cannot stand ya! Ya happy now?!” Aqua yelled.

“VERY! See? Was that so hard?” Water asked angrily.

“It was very hard! I will not be tough for anypony! Even if I care for them dear! My kindness makes me who I am! I’m sorry that I didn’t have the courage to break up with ya! That’s because I was only trying to spare ya FEELINGS!” Aqua yelled.

“Well it worked!” Water yelled.

“Ok! I cannot stand the arguing anymore! I’m getting flashbacks!” I yelled.

“Then why did you keep asking for arguments?!” Psyche yelled.

“I just wanted to learn a new friendship lesson! I haven’t written to Luna in a while and I haven’t seen her in ages and I just miss her so much, man- why is Blaze laying on the ground?” I asked as I just noticed that Blaze is passed out on the floor.

“Flare if you want to talk to Luna, just write to her. She doesn’t need a friendship lesson, bro.” Psyche said.

“Oh… I knew that.” I lied. “Ok so all that leaves is Engie.” I turned over to Engie said to him, “You’re a jerk.”

“Truth hurts, mah friend.” Engie said.

“Well then don’t say the truth all the time!” I advised him.

“Yes the truth hurts sometimes, I know that, but sometimes it is really nessarry to just say them and get it off ya chest, for the sake of ya friends. I’m sure there will always be a way of understanding.” Aqua said.

“You’re right, Aqua. I’m sorry for pushing you. I just don’t want to be alone. Losing Fonz made a major impact in my life, and being in a relationship with you, I guess I just miss him.” Water explained.

“It’s alright, Water. When ya ready for a relationship, ya will know it, but for now, have a little time to yaself and think. Ya free Water. Fonz is no longer in control of ya life. Live a little without a coltfriend. Ya might think it’s actually more fun than ya know.” Aqua explained.

“You’re right, Aqua. I will do it.” Water understood and smiled at him. Aqua smiles back at her, and then Water gives Aqua a big hug, which still made Aqua feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I’m still not a hugger.” Aqua said.

“C’mon, Aqua. Just this once.” I whispered.

“Well…. Umm….. alright.” Aqua said as he hugged Water back which really made Water excited. She started jumping up and down as she was hugging him. “Ok, ok, too much; too much!” Aqua said.

“Right, right, sorry.” Water said as she releases Aqua quickly.

“Hey who’s watching the wheel?” Psyche asked. After our argument was finally over, we looked out the window and saw that our float was getting close to the nearby cliff.

“Oh snap!” Crystal yelled as she quickly hops over to the steering wheel and quickly turns it all the way at the same time pressing down on the breaks, including the hand-breaks.

“NO! I’m too attractive to die!” Psyche cried.

The crowd that leaned over the cliff to check out the wreckage down below all jumped out of the way. Down below was a wreckage of the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ apple float, and while AppleJack and Babs Seed were helping the crusaders out in getting out of the wreckage, they looked up and saw our float leaning over to the cliff-age. They all gasped in fright, but luckily for them, Crystal was able to stop the float just in time, and here we stand, safe and sound leaning on a cliff-edge. “Phew! The float is okay!” Engie said in relief.

“Banana?” a minion that popped out nowhere said, and then suddenly, all of the minion’s friends began attacking our float, yelling ‘banana’, and started taking everything, leaving the seven of us sitting on the grass near the cliff edge, and the only thing left from the float was the steering wheel that Crystal was holding.

“Meh.” Engie shrugged.

“Huh? What did I miss?” Blaze asked as he woke up.

Later that afternoon, I delivered a pizza over to Sweet Apple Acres with my friends, and as we hung out there for a while, we met Apple Bloom’s cousin Babs.

"So, ya run a pizza parlor, huh?" Babs asked me.

"Affirmative!" I said.

"That's pretty sick, I've been waiting for somepony to open up one 'round here." Babs said.

"So you visited here to get away from bullies back home in Manehatten?" I asked.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm a blank flank. Couldn't take that garbage anymore, man!" Babs said.

"Hey, you and I are alike, you know that? I moved to Ponyville to get away from bullies back in Mareami. I couldn't take the heat." I said.

"Heh, I guess so." Babs chuckled.

"Hey, I was wondering. What's does a bab seed have to do with an apple?" Crystal asked her.

“I think I got it from my mom’s side. I’m more of an Orange than an Apple.” Babs said.

“So Aqua, are ya still gonna date Flare’s sister some day?” Engie asked.

“Maybe someday, mate, but for now I’ll just stick by myself for the time being.” Aqua said.

“What did you say the joke yet? Do we do our post-chapter group laugh now?” Blaze asked as he suddenly starts laughing. The rest of us just awkwardly looked at each other.

“Relax, he’ll hear again.” Engie said. Just then, my phone starts to ring. It was an unknown caller, and normally I don’t respond to those calls, but I’m in a good mood so I allowed it.

“Yo!” I said as I answered the phone. “Yes, this is Flare Gun. Uh huh. Yeah? Wait, what? You have my stuff? My trailer was broken into? Really? You caught the thief, huh? Ok good. Yeah I’ll go pick up my stolen possessions, thank you. Bye.” I ended the call there. “You see, Aqua, that is why I put my name on all of my stuff. When they get lost and then found I can retrieve them.”

“Got it.” Aqua said.

”Now I have to call my no-good stubborn sister for not locking the door last night.” I said angrily as I dialed Water’s cell phone number and called her.

“Hello?” Water asked.

“Water, what the hay is your problem?! I keep telling you to the lock the door! But do you ever listen?! NOOOOO!” I yelled.

”I’m sorry, bro. I really am, but can this wait? I’m visiting a friend in jail.” Water said.

“Thank you, Water Gun!” the thief that stole my stuff that is now in jail said happily to Water as he places his hoof against the glass. Water places her hoof against the glass at the same spot as the thief’s but from the other side. Great, now my sister is dating a criminal! Oh well, whatever. I’m done here. I’m gonna go get myself a taco salad.

Author's Notes:

In this chapter, it mainly started off as just a chapter about building a float, and the Noble Five that are building it actually have an argument the whole time, but that idea was changed because it was something that alot of stories do, so I made that about Flare WANTING an argument instead.

Now the Aqua-Water scenario was added in to make the chapter bigger the first time, but this time their scenario is the main story of this chapter. Aqua was a little more OOC last time I made this so I made sure both Water and Aqua are actually more IC. Plus in the original version of this chapter Aqua was stuck on gum and Water had to save him from the Noble Five's float after they were arguing in there, but that was stupid, and not funny stupid, so I made it how you see it now, which is actually good enough!

Flare's Backstory - Part 1

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Now this chapter is an important chapter you should all see. There's a side of me you all haven't seen before. So I think the time has come to discuss my backstory. What have I done before I moved to Ponyville? Well, before I get started on the story, there was a time that I told my friends about it. Nopony knew about my backstory until I told it today. It all started at my pizza shop. I was working at the take-out counter, and I just finished making a pizza for my friend Woodenshy.

"Thank you, come again!" I said to him in an Indian accent.

"Hmm, well there are only 8 restaurants in town. I dunno I'll have to think about it." Wood teased me.

"Well you better think good and hard because my pizzas will be here forever.” I said.

“I’m sure they wi- wait, what?” Wood asked.

“Yeah I’m sure they will too. Now enjoy that pizza, y’hear?” I asked.

“Thanks!” Wood said excitedly as he walked off with the pizza.

"Hey, boss? We're going on our lunch break." Lyra said to me.

"Alright see ya in the hospital.” I teased.

“Wait what did he say?” Lyra asked.

“See you in the hospital?” Bonnie asked. “We’re going on our- OOOOOH! I get it!” she started laugh.

“Yeah I get it too!” Lyra said as she laughed along with her. “Actually I really don’t, but if Bonnie gets it, then I do too!”

“You see that, Lyra? That’s the type of talk that makes everypony think we’re a couple.” Bonnie complained to her.

“Well regardless, thanks boss! You’re the best!” Lyra said.

"Oh don't call me your boss." I blushed. "This is an equal business. This ain’t no business empire; it's a business democracy. We vote here. Like right now we’re voting on if we should switch to sea salt or stick to regular salt.” I pointed over to Merry May who was tallying her vote.

“I’m his favorite background pony. That’s why I’m seen more often than others.” Merry May said to you the readers.

“Or a republic, this store could be a republic too.” Bonnie suggested.

"Shouldn't it be a pub to be a republic?" Lyra teased.

"HA! Nice one, Lyra!" I laughed. "Wait, I'm supposed to make the jokes. YOU STOLE MY JOB!"

"Oh, sorry." Lyra said.

"Nah it's no problem." I said. “At least you didn’t take any of my jokes. I don’t like it when others take my jokes.”

“Yeah look who’s talking!” Steve the Combine Soldier chuckled to me.

“Oh Steve! I forgot that you were still here.” I said surprisingly.

“Yeah you said you’d help me out. You didn’t help me or Stew out of here yet.” Steve reminded me.

“I’ll get it done today, don’t worry.” I promised.

“In a way I prefer this place though.” Stew the Combine Shotgunner said. “I don’t have to deal with Bowser Jr. anymore at least.”

“Well we’re going to head out to our lunch break now, bossman.” Bonnie said.

“Huh? Oh you’re still here? I thought I dismissed you already?” I asked.

“We will be, but we want to make sure everypony sees us walk out the door just as more ponies that want to ask you a question walk through.” Lyra said as the two of them walk over to the front door to leave the shop, and like Lyra said, as the two of them walk out, the Cutie Mark Crusaders run inside and walk up to the bar counter where I was cleaning a glass.

"Hey Flare!" the Crusaders all said at the same time.

“I was already cleaning this glass before you came in.” I lied to them.

"May we have one medium cheese pizza?" Scootaloo asked.

"Sure thing, Scoots! Anything on it?" I asked.

"I said, 'cheese' pizza." Scoots reminded me.

“Yeah, all pizza has cheese on it, Scoots.” I reminded her.

“See? Told you.” Sweetie Belle said as she elbowed Scoots.

"And what size you want it?" I asked.

"Medium!" Scoots yelled.

"And what you want on it?" I asked.

"CHEESE!" Scoots yelled, and then I took a picture of her.

"Ah-biskee!” I said as I took the picture. “Nice! This is going to be my desktop image on my laptop.”

"Alright, ah'll give him points for bein original." Apple Bloom chuckled.

"One large pepper pizza coming right up!" I said.

"Medium cheese I said!" Scoots yelled.

"Yeah, that's what I said. You mad sis? You need a chill pill?" I asked. Scoots sighed as I made their pizza and put it in the oven.

"Hey Flare?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"What can I do for ya, Sweets?" I asked.

"We've known you for a long time, and yet we never asked you how you got your cutie mark." Sweets said.

"Yeah, maybe it can give us ideas of how to get ours." Apple Bloom said.

"Wow, nopony ever asked me for my backstory before. So you youngsters wanna know this leet unicorn's backstory?" I asked.

"Well just the cutie mark story." Sweets said.

"Okee dokee smokey! It all started when I was three years old, in human years though." I started the story and started a flash back. So maybe I the narrator can take it from here. I was in the den of my apartment. I lived in South Mareami beach, at the eastern part of the beach, I was looking for my Barney doll. When I was a child, I liked Barney.

"HA HA!" Scoots laughed ruining the flashback.

"I was three then!" I yelled.

"Don't ruin the story, Scootaloo. Let him finish." Apple Bloom ordered her.

"Fine." Scoots said and sighed.

As I was saying.... I was looking for my Barney toy in the den, I saw my dad Sub-Machine Gun, playing Wolfenparty 3D on his computer. My dad is a yellow unicorn with a brown round mane similar to mine but a bit longer and he has a goatee on his face. He shares the same tail as the rest of us and he wears a blue vest, but more of a greenish-blue, not like mine, and like everypony else in my family, he wears shoes on his hind hooves, and finally, his cutie mark is a speaker. So I stood there and watched him play, and then colt me asked, "Hey daddy? What are you doing?"

"I'm playing a shooting game, Flarey." my dad said.

"Well, duh! I can see that. I'm not stupid." I said. Yeah, even back then I still teased. I watched my dad for a while, and I kept asking him questions. "Why are you squirting paint on those Germane ponies?"

"This game was based on World Party II." my dad said. "Adoof Bitter was upset and wanted to take over, until we raised his spirits up by launching cupcakes, and water balloons at him and his troops."

"Lawl! Adoof. That's gotta be the dumbest name I've ever heard! Ex dee." I said.

"Well, son. Everypony thought so at first, but it made him so angry, that's why he wanted to take over." my dad said. "It was because he had no friends that made him like that. Son, you have to understand that having friends is important, otherwise you'd go mad and want revenge."

"I'm not worried, daddy! I'm gonna have lots of friends! Everypony! Everypony's my friend! Friend, friend, friend! Happy face!" I cried. Did you miss my leet speak? Of course you didn’t, but this was before I stopped doing it, so be prepared for trollism.

My dad chuckled and picked me up. "Oh of course you will, Flare! I know you will!" He gave me a big hug. We were both laughing. Everyday I saw my dad play his game, and after the fifth time I watched, I finally asked him the big question:

"Daddy? Will you marry me?" HA! No I didn't ask him that, but when I say 'the big question', some might say that's considered it, but what I really asked was quite obvious: "Daddy? Where do babies come from?" Yeah, I did ask him that, but not at that time. Seriously, what I asked him was: "Can I play, daddy?"

"Of course, son! Go ahead!" my dad said. He helped me on the chair, and I started a new game. I started on chapter 1, and.... wow, I jinxed it! The easiest difficulty was called 'Can I play, daddy?' I started lawling so hard that my spleen bursted out! That was a figure of speech by the way, my spleen was fine. My spine did burst out though, really. At first I sucked at the game, I kept getting full of paint or frosting and losing the game. I kept melting down, screamed, and whined of why I can't win. My dad saw me yelling on the carpet. You know to make things interesting, how about we see that footage of me screaming on the carpet again but in slow motion? Yeah, that’s pretty funny isn’t it? Just listen to that deep voice. Now let’s show that footage again in slow-motion but with the song Escape by Craig Armstrong starting at 4:16. Heh! That’s interesting! I like to replace the drama in my life with humor. Alright let’s continue. As I was whining on the floor my dad said to me:

"Son, you shouldn't let the small things in life bother you. It's only a game. If you just keep practicing, you'll win. You'll be the most epic Wolfenparty player ever someday. I guarantee it. Same with your friendship, because remember: Friendship…. Is Epic." he said to me. Yes, that is exactly how I got the name! Those words never left my mind. Those words are the exact reason why I never given up hope on friendship. I smiled at him and gave him a hug. Everyday I practiced at that game, and every time I lost, but I didn't worry; I started over and did better every time, and got a couple of laughs here and there. Some of the deaths were funny. After a couple of weeks, I finally beat the game, and I was really happy about it.

"DADDY! I DID IT! I DID IT! I BEAT THE GAME!" I cried.

"That's great, Flare!" my dad said.

“Took a bunch of weeks but it was worth it!” I said excitedly.

"How about trying the game on a harder mode?" my dad asked. I didn’t say anything. I just stood there with a frozen smile on my face. “Uhh, son? Son?” my dad tapped on me and then I fall on the floor with the same exact pose I was standing up with, and I landed on the floor with the impact sound of concrete. Once I finally regained my senses, I did as he suggested and started playing the game on a harder mode. Ever since then I was obsessed with video games! I started playing games like Pac-Clam, certain space games, Jackie Kong, and Super Spaghetti-O Bros, and other games with names that don’t give me trouble with copyrights. My mom Bow Gun and my dad were one day watching me play Doom, and I gotta say, they were mighty impressed.

"Bowie dear, I think our son is gonna be quite successful someday." my dad said to her.

"I couldn't agree more, dear." my mom said. This was before video games became a problem to kids so at this time, they were proud of me. Just then, that same night, my flank started glowing. My parents were so surprised.

"Son! It's your cutie mark!" my dad cried in excitement.

"Uh huh, that's nice." I said with an uncaring tone as I continued to play the game.

"It's a computer mouse cutie mark!" my mom said. "What can that mean?"

"I guess it must mean something, video game or computer related." my dad said. “I know it doesn’t make much sense, but it’s there for a reason and that’s all that matters to me.”

"Flarey? Don't you wanna see your cutie mark?" my mom asked me.

"So what? It's just a little marking on my flank, doesn't really mean anything. You think it could mean puberty? Hmmm?" I asked.

"Well... I dunno about that." my mom said.

"Please leave me to my game, mommy. I'll get to it later." I said as the flashback suddenly ends.

"And so that's how I got my flank tattooed." I said to the Crusaders.

"So all you had to do was sit around playing games? That's how you got your cutie mark?" Sweetie asked.

“And you didn’t even CARE?” Scoots asked.

"Why haven't we thought of that?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Ah Apple Bloom, y’all don't need to sit around all day playing games." Applejack said to her.

"But it sounds so easyyyyyy." Apple Bloom whined.

"Trust me, sugarcube. Havin' a computer mouse cutie mark ain't worth it. No offense, Flare." AppleJack said.

"None taken, AppleJack. I pretty much played video games much longer than I cooked so far.” I said. “I most of the time left my homework till the last second just to play video games.”

"But how did y’all get in the food business? If yer destiny was somethin’ out of a fancy piece of technology, how did ya end up makin pizzas?" AppleJack asked.

"Ah, that started when I was five. I went to visit my grandma Carbine Gun's house." Another flashback started. I was at my grandma's house in Cape Canville, which was in the mid-north-east part of Mareami. I was playing with a button which belonged to one of my dad's shirts, but I didn't know it then. I threw the button in the kitchen, and I ran over there to go get it and I saw my grandma cooking some delicious brownies in there. My grandma's a baker and she sells this stuff in her bakery which was in the bottom floor of this building. Yeah, my grandma lives in a building with a store in the bottom and a living quarters on the top floor. It’s just like South Carolina, where you’ll see a living quarters right on top of an Arby’s, and you’ll even see a restaurant where a gas station used to be and the gas station sign is still there on the roof.

As I smelled my grandma’s delicious brownies, I asked her, "Hey grandma! Cooking brownies again I see?"

"Righteyo Flareyo!" my grandma said. My grandma is brown like my mom and she had short white hair and a light brown vest, and her cutie mark is a chocolate chip cookie. You may think she’s my mom’s mom, but she’s not. She’s my dad’s mom. My mom’s mom I call Nana. "You should try one, it's really good."

"I tasted them before, I know how they taste." I reminded her.

"Oh, okay." she said. She then looked at her plate and saw all the brownies on it were gone, except for the one in her hoof that she was gonna give to me. "Hey, where did the brownies go?"

"I hash no idea." I said with my mouth full of brownies.

"Well poo then. Looks like I'll have to make another batch. Just wait until I get my hooves on the wipper snapper that took the brownies." she said.

"Sure thing, grandma! Winky face." I said to her as I winked; I then swallowed the last of the brownies that were in my mouth. “Can I have some milk please?”

Every Monday my grandma cooks us a few dinners and we take them home. I love her pot-pies, and her stews, and baked goods, and pastas, and even pizza! I loved my grandma's food! She was the best cook I've ever met! All her food was delicious! I ate them all up! When I was eleven, I was interested in wanting to cook just like her, so my grandma gave me the basics. First she wanted me to make a daisy sandwich, which was easy. The only problems I have in those sandwiches is accidentally putting too much mayo and it took until then to figure out that my grandma doesn't like mayo, she likes mustard. Woospy daisy! But I did good. We cooked pastas, lasagnas, tacos, tree-burgers, then I started making my first pizza with her. I had to go carefully. I was really nervous my first time. Gotta get the correct amount of dough, make sure the sauce is in good shape, and the cheese, and cooking it just the right time. Then, when it was complete, it looked like heaven when I first saw that first pizza I first made first. I took my first bite, I chewed it very slowly. At first I thought I wasn't gonna like it, and… I was right.

“Bleh! This is disgusting!” I complained.

“You’ll get it, Flare. Don’t give up on your dreams.” My grandma advised me.

“I know. I never given up in becoming an alicorn princess.” I said to her. When I was a kid, when I wanted to grow up, I wanted to become an alicorn princess, but you know how it turned out with the folks from school. The school scenes are going to be the peak of the story, so I’ll get to them later. When I made my second pizza, I had high-hopes for it, but it was all worth it, as I didn’t like that one either. Three time’s the charm, right? Well… wrong, I didn’t like that one either. In fact, that one got me sick.

Later that night when I was at home, my mom was tucking me in. She was putting vapor rub on my chest, counter-clockwise for my chest hair. Yeah, ponies get chest hair in an early age; mainly because our whole bodies were full of them. We get hair all over our bodies when we turn a month old. “There we go, pookie face, my best friend!”

“Thanks my best friend pookie face!” I said. “I wish grandma didn’t get me sick.”

“Flarey, we don’t blame family members for sicknesses. Remember what I taught you?” my mom asked.

“You blame everything on the fifth member of your group?” I asked.

“Yes, you blame everything on the fifth member of your group.” My mom nodded.

“I don’t have a fifth member of my group though. In fact I don’t have a group yet, but that’s ok, I’m nothing if not patient.” I said.

“Well then you’re nothing then because patient is certainly something you don’t have.” My mom said to me. “But regardless, I love you just the same.”

“I love you too, mommy!” I said. “Will you sing me Soft Dalek?”

“Of course I’ll sing you Soft Dalek, pook!” my mom said as she pokes me in the nose and begins to sing. “Soft Dalek, warm Dalek, little ball of hate… happy dalek-“

“Mom, you know what happened to my eye-liner?” my sister Water asked as she entered my room.

“Go away!” I ordered her. Water quickly closed the door and went away.

“Well that was rude.” My mom said to me.

“I know, but she means well.” I nodded. My mom gave me a glare after I said that. “C’mon sing!” I demanded.

And so she did. “Happy Dalek, sleepy dalek, extermin-“

“What are you trying to pull, mom?” I interrupted her. “From the top!”

“Oh Lord Faust, why?” my mom asked. Yes, my mom used to be very religious. The two of us and nana used to go to church every Sunday, until I realized it wasn’t necessary and I could just pray anytime instead of going to an empty building to do so.

After I was better, but I went to grandma’s again to try the pizza a fourth time, and after that, my taste buds went to heaven after I had that first bite in that first pizza first. Heh, try saying that 3x fast! Ever since, I've been interested in cooking. Some of you might say, 'How are you a cook when your destiny is something computer related?' Well, it's probably because there are certain cooking games on the computer, as well as information about cooking, so that's pretty much why. I helped bake stuff with my grandma all the time. One thing’s for sure though, I wasn’t perfect at cooking at first, and almost every time I made a mess, which is why ants loved hanging out in her kitchen on Mondays.

“Man! I love our vacation spot!” Flick the ant said. “I really need to get a tan.”

“You’re darn right you need a tan!” Z the ant agreed. “Look at you! Ants aren’t supposed to be blue, are they? Look at me though. The ladies dig this!”

“At least my hive is still around and I never seen a single human.” Flick said.

“Yeah but at least we can take care of ourselves, not rely on clowns to protect us from grasshoppers no less.” Z said. “Not to mention our movie was first. You ripped us off! No wonder you never had a second movie.”

“We didn’t have a second movie because the voice of Heimlich died!” Flick argued with him. Alright this argument is taking so long, so both of the ants got kicked off the counter by Rollie McFly from Bugdom.

"And it was my Grandma Carbine Gun that helped me create the secret formula to Flare’s pizzas.” I said as I held a folder on my hoof that contained the secret recipe to my pizzas.

“A secret recipe, huh?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I cook the best pizza in Equestria, Apple Bloom. Of course I have a secret recipe.” I said in an obvious tone.

“Besides when you first started making pizzas, have you ever burnt any?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Says the pony that burns juice.” Rarity mumbled to herself.

“Of course I do. I’m not perfect. There were many times that I undercooked and overcooked pizzas, and sometimes not at the same time.” I said.

"Well this must be one of the times you burnt your pizzas." Scoots said.

"Oh? Why's that?" I asked.

"Your oven is on fire." Sweets pointed out.

I looked back at my oven and she was right, it was on fire, and then I just slowly looked back at Scoots with a blank expression on my face. “So it is.” Just then my smoke detector went off and the sprinklers activated, soaking everything in the shop. “Clean up isle everything.” I said on the microphone next to my cash register.

“Oh cool, I’m not wet.” Woodenshy said in relief, but let’s not let him get left out of all of the fun, so I squirted Woodenshy with my water squirter spell.

“Don’t jinx it, Woodenshy. You’re just asking for it when you say stuff like that.” I pointed out.

“Well, my hair is ruined… again. I’m not even surprised anymore.” Rarity said in an irritated tone as her hair was soaking wet.

“Everypony loves wet-mane Rarity!” Sweetie Belle teased.

“A little too much, might I add.” Rarity said.

“Well here’s your pizza, crusaders.” I said as I gave them a burnt and soggy pizza. “Bon appetite!”

“It’s too burnt, I want a refund!” Sweetie demanded.

"You didn't even pay for this yet." I reminded her.

"Speaking of spells, Flare, what was your first spell?" Twilight asked me.

“Twilight? Since when did you come here?” I asked.

“I always come here with my friends on Mondays. That’s when your food is always fresh.” Twilight said.

“Where’s the Noble Six?” I asked.

“We’re here, Flare.” Crystal said with the rest of my friends sitting at a booth nearby. “But we’re just going to blend in at the background throughout the time you tell your story.”

“I’m ok with that.” I said. “Also…” Just then a threw the burnt soggy pizza I gave to the crusader’s on Psyche’s face. “How does it feel to be the fifth member of my group, Psyche?” Psyche didn’t say anything as I didn’t hire his voice actor for this chapter, but he did roll his eyes.

“So Flare, how about that spell of yours? What inspired you to perform magic?” Twilight asked.

“Well the thing is Twilight, I had no interests in magic at first, but my first spell was pretty obvious.” I said.

“Levitation?” Twilight asked.

“No my flares.” I corrected her. “Wow, you couldn’t be any more wrong, Twilight.”

“HA!” Scoots chuckled.

Twilight sighed. “Well how did you learn your flare spell anyway?”

The next flashback showed my mom pregnant to me and while they were both trying to sleep, they couldn’t because of a bright glow. “Ugh! Bow? Can you shut off the lamp please?” my dad asked.

“It’s not the lamp it’s our son again. He’s doing magic surges in my stomach again.” My mom said.

“Well babe, I keep telling you not to eat or drink too much caffeine, it gets a unicorn pretty hyper even before he or she is born.” My dad said. “But then again, he’s our son, he’s suppose to be bright.” My dad chuckled. And so, my dad, he’s the reason I make terrible puns. I get them from him. That flashback ends there.

“So you learned magic before you were born?” Twilight asked me.

“I didn’t say that. Luckily I wasn’t strong enough to create actual flares. More like little glowy dust, but I didn’t know what I was doing. In fact, after I was a week old I stopped with those magic surges after I got a medication from the doctor, and I haven’t done a single flare since.”

“So is your flares the reason they call you Flare Gun?” Apple Bloom asked.

“No, my flares were the reason why I started going on magic surge control medication. The reason they called me Flare Gun was because… well… my last name IS Gun and I’m red like a flare, so that’s pretty much why, and of course the name Crimson was in the way because they wanted to name my mom and dad were arguing on what name to choose for me, Crimson or Flare, so they used both. Crimson is my first name, Flare is my middle name and my main name, and Gun is my last name.” I explained.

“Why don’t you like to be called Crimson often though? Crimson’s a cute name.” Rarity asked.

“It is a cute name, but it’s not a name I’d normally want to hear. Reminds me too much of my past.” I said.

“How about telling us how you got here?” Sweetie suggested.

“Umm, ah don’t think he’s gonna wanna explain it.” AppleJack assumed.

“Actually I do. Now that I feel comfortable with you, the rest of the Mane Six, and the Noble Six over there,” I said as Crystal waved to me, “I feel that I am ready to explain everything. I wasn’t just picked on because I’m different, I sometimes asked for it, but only because I didn’t know better. I’ll explain the rest of my magic spell story while I’m at it. This is when things get super interesting. My parents spoiled me, so I was kind of a spoiled colt, but not the type of spoiled that asks for gifts. I’m spoiled for friends because of my dad’s quote.” Yet another flashback starts.

I was in Elementary School. School wasn't so hard for me, I did well. A's, B's, and C's, I'm pretty average, not smart nor dumb, but I did slack off in class by drawing pictures of some of my favorite games and TV shows, but the one thing I drew the most was SpongeBob. I was obsessed with SpongeBob back then. A kid takes my pictures and say: "Hey everypony, I'm Crimson Flare! I like to draw kitchenware that lives in a fruit under the sea." Everypony started laughing at me, but it didn't really bother me, I just laughed along.

“Yep, that’s me!” I said. I didn’t let the teasing bother me. I liked making ponies laugh; it’s mainly because my dad said that if ponies laugh at you, that means you’re funny, that’s how you make friends.

I did my very best to make friends, and I did meet some nice ponies, but I never had the guts to ask for their phone numbers. That is when things got out of hoof. One time, when a kid had a birthday party, the only reason I was the only one not to go was because he didn’t have my number. How foolish of me. I always hated to be left out, which made me aggravated, and I even blamed the kid for it, and from that day forward he ignored me. At first I thought that was the reason why everypony ignored me. I was hated at that school and I barely did anything wrong. Well, I do act stupid, and I say the word ‘friend’ constantly, and even scream it in other pony’s faces. I try to make friends with everypony, but I try too hard. It wasn’t just everypony else’s fault they didn’t want to be friends with me, it was mine too, I admit that. I had so much social issues back then.

However, all of this wasn’t ALL my fault though, and I’m not just saying because I don’t want to be the only one blamed. Most of the time I do make that excuse, but this time is different. A pony that has a family that has a grudge on mine since even before Mareami was constructed. A long time ago, in a galaxy relatively close by, the city of Mareami, my hometown, wasn’t always a city. It was a few houses, a cow field, and a church, and it was runned by the Leafhorn family. A thousand years ago during the Disharmony Wars, my ancestors moved out of the Canterlot county to find a new place to live. My ancestors were refugees, and they lived by selling illegal animal crackers. What other choice did they have but sell their own kind as food? So much happened a thousand years ago, but then again, a thousand years ago is the only type of history anypony ever talks about.

The Guns, led by legendary war-hero Colonel Machine Gun, moved to where Mareami is supposed to be before it was constructed, and they begged for the Leafhorns to share their land, but their leader Weed Leafhorn refused. The Guns didn’t want to cause any more hate, but they disobeyed them and constructed an animal cracker farm far from the Leafhorn farm. My ancestors lived relatively close to the Gatorglades swamps so we did have gator trouble in the past. They tried to play hoofball on our animal cracker harvest. These gators were a part of a college nearby and they were trespassing on our land to play their college hoofball. It wasn’t just the Gators though. We also had trouble with the Dolphins, Marlins, the Heat, and the Panthers, all attacking our property to play their sports.

They started getting used to their presence, and they were easy to fight off. All my ancestors had to do was dress up as cheerleaders and lead them away from the farm, but once the Leafhorns found out we were on their property, they threatened us to leave. Colonel Machine Gun tried to reason with them, bribe them, give them gifts, and even tried to ask them out to dinner, but nothing worked. Colonel Gun explained that they were just refugees from the center of Equestria, and like many others, the many refugees that founded Manehatten, Los Pegasus, Baltimare, and all the other big cities around Equestria, are just trying to survive and get away from the war chaos took upon us, but the disharmony followed us because Weed Leafhorn declared war on the Gun clan.

The Guns had no choice, they had to fight. It was either that or leave, or die, or marry Weed’s grand-daughter (whom by the way was very ugly and full of pimples and rotten teeth, so the Guns obviously had to refuse that). So it was war, but the Leafhorns were wreckless, and Colonel Gun has military strategy experience, so the Guns won that war, and Weed Leafhorn was killed in the process, in self-defense. The Guns won the war, but they still let the Leafhorns stay. Unfortunately for us, the land belonged to neither of us. It belonged to an Equestrian soldier by the name of Blueberry Jam who claimed the land way before the Leafhorns did. Luckily for us, the Jam family was very friendly and offered us resources and allowed us to stay, but at the same time, no longer fight one another. The Leafhorns had a grudge on us ever since, but we never started another war again. Mareami was build around us. My family was pretty wealthy, so were the Leafhorns, but the Jams were the ones that ran the town. Mareami was build around us and it became a pleasant beach town, and one of the top 5 most popular vacation spots in Equestria.

Now that you know why the Leafhorns have a grudge on my family, we meet the main bully of my past: Herb Leafhorn, Jr. He was green, had black Italian-like hair, even spoke in an Italian accent, and he wears a black vest with tiny white stripes on it, and a white T-Shirt. He had a baseball bat as a cutie mark because he was good at baseball, or so I think. I always considered the Leafhorns to be a mafia, but I never knew for sure. Herb Leafhorn, Jr. was the pony that made the name Flare Gun a hated name in the school. He took advantage of my mental issues and made me a… well I wouldn’t say laughing stock because he knew I was immune to that, but he knows how I feel when I’m ignored, so he took that as an advantage.

"Sup brahs? The name's Flare! What's yours?" I asked a group of ponies. The group of ponies walk away from me.

"Huh… maybe they didn’t hear me." I said to myself. I then walked over to a group of fillies to say hello to them. "Heeeeeeey ladies! Winky face. I'm in the need of some friends. Don't worry, I don't care how you look or if you're taken, I love all ponies equally, because Friendship is Epic! Ah, I said it! I said it! Did you hear me?" I said to them as my eye twitches.

"Get lost loser.” The fillies insulted me as they walked away. Kids are really good at taking gossip, and Herb was good at making gossip, but he wasn’t really the brightest pony around. He had bad grades, but luckily for him, his father was the principle, which was really bad for me because whenever I’m bullied I have no one to report this to.

"Sup brahs?" I said to another group of colts.

"We're not mare's clothing." one of them said and they all trotted away.

"Oh hi! Lion face." I said to another group of ponies and they just ignored me and walked past me. There was yet another group of ponies that walked by, and gave them the look. My eye-pupils were huge and gave them a cute look.

"Ewww." the group of mares said, and then they all slapped me and walked away.

Time to go to last resort. I went to a group of ugly nerds and I said to them, “Hey, wanna be friends?”

“With a dork like you? HA!” one of the nerds laughed.

“We’re desperate but we’re not THAT desperate. The odds of you being liked by anypony are 7,994,239,176,455.” The other nerd said as they walked away angrily. Not even a laugh! They walked away angrily.

"What is everypony's problem?" I asked myself.

I bursted into the bathroom with an angry look on my face. I started looking in the mirror and looked at myself. "What's wrong with me? Am I ugly? No, if I was ugly the mirror would've broke. I know how attractive I am." Just then the colt next to me smashed the mirror with a hammer and ran away laughing. "Lawl! That was funny!" I said to him. "So, why are ponies ignoring me? Maybe they're jealous because I got good grades." Then I saw ponies outside cheering for the smartest pony in school, even the ones I thought were jealous of me. "Well, I guess it's not that either. Don't worry, I'll be patient, and you'll be the doctor." I joked and chuckled. "I'll get to the bottom of this, or the top. Wow, I'm so funny!"

"No you're not." a pony in the stalls said. "You're weird."

"Your face is weird." I said to the pony and walked out. So I went back to my apartment, and my dad was cooking dinner.

"Hey son! How was your day?" he asked.

"Forty-five degree angle mouth face, dad." I said.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well, ever since I started school, ponies were ignoring me. I'm in fiftth grade now and I still don't know why." I said.

"Flare, you're a very inspiring pony. You know that? The other ponies just need to get to know you a little more, and give you a fair chance." he said.

"I know dad, I know." I said to him.

"Yes I know dad, he's a swell stallion." he joked and he laughed. I laughed along because I was too young to know that it wasn’t funny.

"Hey Flarey, you wanna look at some old videos of when we were foals?" Water asked me.

"Sure!" I said. So we both went into the living room and started watching videos of us as foals. Like when Water was first born, her first words, her first meals, her first bath times, and her first bike; it was really interesting. Then we all saw my first stuff, including when I was dancing on a stool in the bathroom wearing my diaper when I was a couple of months old. I was even singing a song that went like this:

"I'm a tough tootin foal, I can dance like a stallion. I can shake-a my fanny, I can shake-a my cannon. I'm a tough tootin foal, I can punch-a yo buns! Puncha yo buns! I can punch all your buns! If you're an evil meanie I can punch you for fun!" Water was recording the whole thing from outside the bathroom door, and was laughing so hard.

"HA! I remember that!" I said watching the video.

"HA, you remember, bro?" Water asked.

"HA, I remember, sis!" I said. “Actually maybe I should put the word ‘lawl’ before remember instead of ‘ha’. I like the word ‘lawl’. LAWL! I’m gonna stick with that phrase forever. Everypony’s gonna think that’s funny! I mean they thought that in Arby ‘n the Chief right?”

"That’s true!” Water agreed.

“Sigh. Those were the days, huh sis?” I asked.

“I know, but it still seems that way now. It’s just us against the world, right?” Water asked.

“As long as we have each other, Water. Nothing will be able to stop us!” I said.

"I know, right?" Water asked "Hey, I have the same problem at school as you."

"I see. I just wish there was some way to make friends." I said.

"Just you wait, Flarey. Just wait a little while and friends will start coming to you." Water said with a smile.

"You think so?" I asked.

"I know so!" Water said.

"Smiley face. Thanks, sis!" I said, and gave her a hug.

"No problem, lil bro. Not a problem at all." she said hugging me back.

“Big.” I corrected her. “Big bro. I don’t like being called little.”

“I’m older than you.” Water corrected me.

“Doesn’t explain anything.” I said.

After a little while, I was brushing my teeth and I went into my bedroom to see my fish. Now, this was 14 years ago, so I had different fish then. The leader of the tank was a black catfish named Spot and I had two little orange fish named O.J. and Mickey; those two had tails that looked like Mickey Mouse, they seriously did; and I had another black molly named Darrel. I had alot of Darrels before the one I have now, and finally I had another catfish, but smaller, and his name was Chuck; he was a mean one. So I went over to the tank as I was brushing my teeth, and I decided to talk to them, but of course my voice sounded weird.

"Hey bisies!" I said with the tooth brush in my mouth.

"What did he say?" Mickey asked.

"Hey fishies. He has the toothbrush on his mouth which is making him talk funny, but don’t worry. I can translate that.” OJ said.

"Fo, I had a wuff day foday, bu' no worrpies. Sids are lie pat all bu' time." I said.

"I didn't understand that either." Mickey said.

"He said: So I had a rough day today, but wo worries. Kids are like that all the time." OJ said.

"How do you know this stuff, Juice?" Mickey asked.

"I can understand teeth brushing language, Mickey; and please don't call me Juice, call me OJ." OJ instructed him.

"I wonder why kids are giving our master a hard time." Spot asked.

"Eh, he deserves it; he's a weirdo." Chuck said.

"Don't say that, Chuck! Flare's the best master ever!" Darrel said excitedly.

"You and him are so alike, Darrel." Chuck said.

"What's your problem, Chuck? Somepony abuse you when you were young?" Spot asked.

"No. And Spot, I don't understand why Flare made you leader of the tank instead of me." Chuck complained.

"Now let's not be like that. There's no 'leader' of the tank. We're all equal!" Spot said.

"But some of us are more equal than others." Mickey said.

"Just watch yourself, Spot. Someday I'll be the one taking over." Chuck said.

"I'd like to see you try!" Spot said mischievously.

"Just you wait, until the time comes!" Chuck threatened him.

Just then, OJ begins to brush his teeth in front of me just as I finished. “Ah, good idea, OJ! I should totally fight back with my trollism.” I said. “It’s for self-defense which makes it ok.”

“Did he actually understand you?” Mickey asked OJ.

“It’s the only way I can communicate with him. The teeth brushing language is very useful under these circumstances.” OJ said.

So I went back to Elementary School, and things weren't better at all, in fact, things got worse. Herb himself came up to me as his friends, including a relative of Lyra watched in entertainment.

"Aww, did I ruin your lunch, Crimson? Don't worry, I pay you back." Herb said.

"Alright, that costed me 3 bits." I said, having my hoof out, and then he spit on my hoof. "Uhh, that's not bits, unless this saliva is actually worth something."

"That saliva is worth three punches in the stomach!" Herb said as he punched my stomach three times. "One! Two! Three!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" I yelled.

"That was four ows, one too many. Here I'll add an extra one so we can be even." Herb said as I blocked that punch with my tray “Oooo, nice reaction. Hey Crimson, look.” He pointed to my chest and then once I looked down he zipped his hoof up to my nose. “Don’t be so gullible, Crimson!”

"You think you're trollin’ me bro? Do you even lift?" I asked.

"Of course I do!" Herb said as he picked me up, and threw me in the trash can, then the whole school started laughing at me. I started laughing along, but once I did, everypony else stopped laughing and gave me ugly looks.

"Why are you laughing?" a pony asked.

"Because this was funny! I'm not worried about a little trash. I can shower it off. As long as my vest doesn't get stained, I'll be fine." I said. Just then, Herb squirted mustard on my vest and rubbed it around. "AAAAAAAH! Surprise face! MY VEST! How could you, Herb? You’re more annoying than-“

“Your stupid cutaway jokes aren’t going to save you THIS TIME!” Herb yelled as he takes the trash bin I’m in and then kicks it out of the lunch room, down the hall, and down the shtairs. Once the trash bin comes to a complete stop, I began to crawl out and scrape the garbage out of my hair.

“Thank you for riding trash role. Please collect your belongings and watch your step as you walk out of the bin.” Herb said as he walks over to me. “Thank you for riding with us, and have a nice day.”

“Thanks!” I said as I had a banana peel on my head.

“You’re welcome.” Herb said.

As soon as I crawled out of the bin and scraped the garbage out of my clothes, I begin yelling, "AAAAAAAAH! TEACHER! TEACHER! TEACHER!"

"The principle is my father you little twerp!" Herb yelled.

"Hey! I'm not a little twerp! I'm a big twerp! I don't like to be called little!" I corrected him.

"I’m bigger than you, LITTLE boy.” Herb said.

"Yeah, I bet you like little things don't you?" I teased.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?! WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME, SON!" Herb yelled at me.

"I'm not your son, and even if I was, you'd be the worse mom ever. HA!" I teased and laughed.

Herb grabbed me in the vest, and smashed me onto the lockers. "You do not want to be a smart flank with me! Because if you're gonna be smart with me, then somepony's gonna have their face stuck in the toilet!"

"Who? Yours?" I teased. Just then, Herb punched me in the nose.

“Feel smart, LITTLE boy?” Herb asked.

“NO! I’m getting beat up a pony whose family held a grudge on mine for generations! Get over it, man!” I yelled.

“Your family has stolen our land from us, my dad said so. Your ancestor, Colonel Machine Gun killed Weed Leafhorn!” Herb yelled at me.

“I keep telling you, brah, it’s self-defense.” I corrected him.

“LAIR!” Herb yelled as he kicks me in the stomach.

"OW! I’m relieved that I didn’t eat my lunch or I would’ve been sick after that kick. You know, the teachers will find out about this!" I yelled at him.

"That's why I won't pound you here. When you leave school today, that's when I'll turn your face upside down!" Herb threatened me.

"I thought you said you were gonna stuff somepony's face in the toilet?" I asked. Herb thn throws me to the lockers on the other side of the hall.

"You'll be eating those words, Crimson!" Herb threatened me. "So why don't you make like a tree..... and get outta here?" he asked.

"Isn't it 'make like a tree' and 'leave'?" I asked.

"Want another beating?" he asked.

"No, you should be thanking me. I'm trying to save you from sounding stupid." I said.

"Later…." he said as he then made a weird cutting noise while sliding his hoof across his neck and walked away. While he was walking away, he walked past a purple earth pony with blonde hair and a notepad as a cutie mark. He was watching the whole thing and he got a little concerned. “What are YOU lookin’ at, butthead?” Herb asked angrily at the pony.

“Oi, mate. Is that really necessary?” the pony asked him.

“You Jams are all the same. If it weren’t for your family, the Guns would be outta here by now. You’re next if you keep pestering me about my business!” Herb threatened him. “This is between the Leafhorns and the Guns, none of you Jam clans are going to get in our way!” Herb said angrily at him as he walks away and shoves him with his shoulder while he was at it.

“That’s exactly what my family is trying to do, greaseball.” The pony said angrily to him.

“Ugh! Help me, brah!” I begged.

“No, Jerry, he’s a Gun.” Another pony said to the purple pony.

“But this ain’t right. This guy is having a tough time. Shouldn’t there be somepony out there to help? Like an agency keeping friendship at ease?” Jerry (the purple pony) asked.

“Jerry, don’t worry about it. I don’t want you getting hurt. Herb did enough damage to that pony, I don’t want him doing the same to you.” The pony said to Jerry. Jerry looked at me upsettingly and then he walks away. I swear that pony was trying to help me, but… whatever. I never saw that pony again after that, and basically, I sort of forgotten about him.

While I was just laying there, bleeding and bruised, I was moaning in pain, and then a tooth fell out of my mouth, and I smiled. "Yay! The tooth fairy's coming tonight!" Then Herb comes back, and takes my tooth.

“Thanks Crimson! I’m sure there’s plenty more where that came from.” Herb said mischievously as he chuckled and walked away. The flashback ends there.

"Wow, you were really beaten up when you were a colt, Flare?" Fluttershy asked.

"Affirmative." I said. "My younger years weren't so well. Luckily my mom picked me up just in time that day, and I didn't receive that beating from Herb."

“That purple pony though. Why didn’t he help?” Blaze asked.

“Stubborn. Always stubborn these ponies are.” Engie said.

"But Flare, why couldn't you use your awesome spells? Like that hornsaber, or your armor lock, or SHOOP DA WHOOP?" Spike asked.

"Ok, first of all, I learned armor lock just a few months ago, you know that. Second, I didn't really know how to use my spells until later on. Except for the flare spell, and the spell which makes me pick up things, like using the force." I said.

"So when did you learn your new spells, Flare?" Twilight asked.

"Just a little while after. I was being beat up in school so much that I needed to take action." I said. Another flashback starts, and I was at home with my sister Water.

"Flare, if you're gonna keep letting these ponies beat you like up this, then you must be stupid." Water said.

"I thought if I didn't let it bother me he'd leave me alone, so I did what I could do best." I said.

"And that is...." Water started.

"Trollin." I said.

"No, no. Flarey trollin or teasing won't solve your problems. What you really need to do is actually use that horn of yours." Water said.

“My what now?” I asked.

“Your horn.” Water said as she pointed to my head.

“Oooooh that horn. I thought you were talking about… umm… nevermind. “I said. "What you want me to do? Shoot flares at everypony?"

"You can try that, or try some new spells." Water said.

"What kind of spells are like my destiny?" I asked. "Look, Water, it's a computer mouse. What kind of leet spells can I do when my destiny is video games or computer related poop? Poopy-poop?”

"Well, I can teach you my water squirter spell. It's quite easy." Water said.

"Oh, yeah, and how can water defend me against my enemies?" I asked. "You're crazy, sis!"

"No, you're crazy!" Water said back to me.

"No you!" I said back to her.

"No you!" she copied me.

"No you!" I said again.

"No you!" she copied me again. We kept saying 'no you' to eachother until I got really angry. My horn started glowing, and water bursted out of my horn, which pushed her against the wall. "Holy Wizard of Strength! Water, I'm so sorry, sis!" I ran over to her and helped her up.

"You did it, Flare! You did it!" Water cried in excitement and hugged me.

"I did? Oh right I did! I knew I could do it! But how?" I asked.

"I was trying to annoy you, so you'd get angry. Anger really gets your magic going, Flarey." Water said.

“Oh the magic you were talking about? I thought when you said did it, I thought you meant… umm… nevermind, something related to the horn conversation.” I said. "I don't know how I got annoyed, it usually takes alot to annoy me."

"Probably because you had a rough day." Water said.

"Yeah that is true. Herb did really annoy me today. I really dislike jerks very very much!" I said.

"Then you should teach those jerks a lesson they shall never forget!" Water said.

"You're right, Water! You're right!" I said.

"I know I'm right, I'm your big sister, and I'll do anything to make sure you're safe." Water said. “I know some day in the future, you’re going to be doing the same to me when I do stupid things.”

"Let’s hope it doesn’t have to come to that.” I said.

"Now kiss!" Darrel demanded.

"Eww, Darrel, they're brother and sister!" OJ reminded him.

So I went back to school with a smile and a brave look on my face. I just trotted across the halls to my first class, but Herb was blocking the way, and I just stood there and gave him a look. "You were lucky yesterday, Crimson. I decided it was no problem to give you a break yesterday because I think yesterday you had enough. Now today is a new day, but don't worry, this will only hurt for a second." he said to me.

"Ah, reference reference!" I nodded. "Wait, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends wasn't around during the 1990s."

"You're a weirdo. Luckily I'd be doing them a favor by doing this." Herb said to me and grabbed my vest.

"I got a better idea, how about you do us a both a favor, and let go of my vest, and leave me be? Or we can be friends." I said.

Herb started pounding my head and said, "Hello?! Hello?! Anypony home? Think Crimson, think, and besides nopony would want to be friends with you anyway." Herb said.

"Wow that was harsh. You could've just said 'no thank you' and left it at that. Now please put me down." I advised him.

"Sure. Right after I pound ya!" Herb said.

"I'm warming you, brah! You'll regret this. Put me down!" I ordered.

"Was that a threat? Were you threatening me, Crimson?" Herb asked. “Are threatening? Are you threatening? Are you-are you- are you-ah-ah-are you? Are you-are you- are you-ah-ah-are you?” Oh sorry about that, I was trying to make a sparta remix of what he just said to me.

"I'm giving you one last chance. Put.... me..... down!" I ordered him.

"You'll regret saying that." Herb said angrily.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn ya. I hope you brought an extra pair of pants." I said.

“Why is that?” Herb asked.

Just then I squirted him with my newly formed water squirter spell to wet his pants that he didn’t have but around that area. It made all the kids in school laugh at him. Herb felt really embarrassed. I made him look like he wet himself, and nopony used that trick on me at all. Herb started tearing up, let go of me, and then he started running away. “Hey Herb! Remember this word: karma! You pick on me, and I pick on you even harder! I wouldn’ve learned these tricks if you haven’t been bullying me all this time!” I yelled out.

“Wow, Crimson! Nice work!” one of the kids said to me.

“Yeah good job for taking care of that bully!” another one said.

“You sure have redeemed yourself, Flare.” the birthday party kid from earlier this chapter said to me.

“Thanks, brahs and sistas. I really appreciate it.” I said happily. “Maybe next time Herb will think twice before picking on me like that.”

"CRIMSON GUN! IN MY OFFICE! NOW!" the principle yelled on the intercom.

“Well it’s been nice knowing ya, Flare.” the birthday kid said to me.

“What are you talking about? He’s probably going to reward me for my actions!” I said excitedly.

So I walked over to Principle Leafhorn's office, took a seat, and said: "How ya doin, Principle Leafhorn?"

"Don't speak until spoken to." he said to me angrily.

"Well you spoke to me now." I said. "So what's my..."

"SHUT UP!" he yelled at me. I was quiet real fast. "So it comes to my attention that you were being a bully."

"Lawl what?” I asked.

"Don't you deny it, Mr. Gun!" he yelled at me.

"For all due respect, Principle Leafhorn,” I attempt to explain. “the info-“

“For the last time, Crimson! CALL ME SIR!” he yelled at me.

“I really don’t like saying that actually, Principle Leafhorn.” I said to him.

“Too bad!” he yelled at me.

“Ok, SIIIIIIIIIR,” I yelled at him. “The info that you had on me being a bully isn't true. I'm the one that's being bullied."

"Oh yeah? TELL THAT TO MY SON!" he yelled at me. I saw his son, crying in the corner of his office.

"H-he... he made me all wet!" Herb said as he continued weeping.

"I was only trying to defend myself." I said.

“IT’S SIR!” Pinciple Leafhorn yelled at me.

“I didn’t call you anything!” I corrected him.

The principle smashed his hoof on the table. "I don't wanna hear another word from your mouth mister!" he yelled.

“FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND!” I yelled.

“Something you obviously don’t have!” Principle Leafhorn yelled at me.

"But, zir!” I yelled.

“Say it right! SIR!” the principle yelled at me. I know what you’re thinking, worst principle ever. What can you expect from a Leafhorn? I didn’t even want to go to this school, but my parents made an excuse saying that’s closer to home. I mean really!

“Principle Leafhorn, I get bullied by Herb, ALL THE TIME! He stuffed me into a trash can yesterday and made a fool out of me!" I cried.

"But I was only playing." Herb said in a squeaky voice.

"That's a lie!" I yelled.

"I had enough of you Crimson! YOU'RE EXPELLED!" the principle yelled.

"Uhh... who cares? I past the final exams and there was only a few days left of school, soooooo... SO LONG SUCKERS!" I yelled.

"GET OUT!" the principle yelled. “In fact, I’ll call security to carry you out!”

“I don’t like being touched so I’ll let myself out.” I said as I started shaking his hoof. “Thank you for everything, Mr. Herb Leafhorn, Sr. Thank you for your hospitality, your work in making sure the school stays in tip-top shape and thank you for the birthday spanks in Kindergarden, but since I am no longer a student, as I am expelled as well as graduated, I will-“ but before I could finish, his security came inside and was about to grab me. “Oh I talked too long.” I realized. I then suddenly jumped on the principle’s desk and jumped out the window and started to sing. "And I'm freeeeeeeee... free falli- OW!” I yelled as I landed face first on the ground below the two story elementary school. “I’m ok!” I yelled. “I guess I didn’t have enough room to sing that whole part.” The flashback ends there.

"So it was a happy ending after all!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.

"Hang on there, sugarcube. Ah don't think the story's over yet." AppleJack said.

“How about we hear some of AppleJack’s backstory?” I suggested.

“Ehh, another time.” AppleJack said.

“What’s wrong AppleJack? Parent issues?” Bonnie asked mischievously. AppleJack glares at her.

“Ah still don’t know much ‘bout our parents, AJ.” Apple Bloom said.

“Don’t worry, Apple Bloom. Let’s just… let’s just hear more of Flare’s backstory.” AppleJack suggested.

“Can we have some sodas, AppleJack?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Of course, two sodas please, partner.” AppleJack asked me.

“I got it! One soda and one diet soda.” Lyra said.

“Umm… ah didn’t say diet.” AppleJack corrected her.

“No but your thighs did.” Lyra said to her. “I can hear you walking from a mile away.” Lyra begins clopping her hooves together. “Here comes AppleJack, here comes AppleJack.”

"So what happened next, Flare? If you don't mind me asking." Fluttershy asked.

"Well, Mama Flutters, when I past elementary school, my family knew that my water squirter couldn't protect me forever, so over the summer, my mom wanted to help me defend myself more." I said as another flashback starts. I was with my mom at a kid’s worst nightmare location: the library. Meh, at least it’s not as boring as going to Home Depot with my dad; the most BORING store on the planet for a kid like me.

"Ugh! Sigh! Why are we here, mom?" I asked.

"I want to give you a book." my mom said.

"But mooooom, reading so boring!" I whined.

"Trust me, Flarey. This book will have everything you need to defend yourself against bullies." my mom said.

"But I'm done with schooooooool. How is this a probleeeeeeeeeem?" I asked.

"You still have middle school, remember?" my mom asked.

"...Oh... riiiiiiiiiiight." I understood but still with a whiny tone.

“Hey, pookie face? Want us to go to get ice cream?” my mom suggested.

“Sounds greeeeeeeeeeeeeeat!” I said excitedly but still whined. “I hope they have mint chocolate chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!”

So my mom checked out the Spells For Beginners book for me, and we went home so I can read it. Even though I wanted to play video games, my mom actually took all my electronics away until I read at least some of it.

"Sorry, Flarey. But I'm not letting you play any video games until you've learned something from that book." my mom said.

"Hey mom, I learned something from this book." I said.

"That fast?" she asked.

"I learned that even books with spells are boring." I said as I threw the book aside. "So can I have my stuff back now?"

"Not until you learn a magic spell from that book." So my mom walked out, leaving me alone in my room with the book of spells, and my fish.

"Yeah I doubt he'll learn anything." Chuck said.

"Shut it, Chuck." Spot demanded.

"One day, Spot. One day." Chuck swore. So I opened the book and started to read.

"Alrighty then. Chapter 1: Spell-a-Lot." I read, and then I fell asleep almost instantly.

"Told ya." Chuck said. A few hours went by, and my mom came into my room to check up on me.

"Hey pook, I decided to come in and see what's...." my mom was surprised. "Oh my Celestia. Flare, wake up! Now!"

"Ugh. I don't wanna go to work. Five more minutes." I whined.

"Flare! Wake up!" my mom said and began shaking me real hard.

"Whoa! Whoa! I'm awake ma, I'm awake!" I said. "Look, I'm sorry, but this book is way too boring. I don't wanna learn any magic."

"Oh is that so?" my mom asked. "Then how do you explain this?" She points to most of the objects in my room, and they were all cut in half. "You know, I really have no idea how that happened."

"You must've learned some sort of magic." my mom said.

"Mommy, I really don't remember doing anything other than resting." I said.

"Hmmm." my mom was confused to how everything in my room got cut in half. I was serious, I didn’t know what happened. The next morning came, my mom just woke up, but then was shocked after she went into the living room, as she saw everything was cut in half. "FLARE!" she yelled.

"I'm in the bathroom!" I yelled back.

"Get out here! Now!" my mom ordered.

"I said I'm in the bathroom!" I yelled.

"I don't care!" my mom yelled and started knocking on the bathroom door.

"But mom!" I yelled.

"Flare, I strongly respect your privacy by knocking, but I have the authority as your mother by coming in anyway!" My mom used a giant column by breaking down the bathroom door. I flushed the toilet as soon as she broke the door.

"You're so lucky I finished just in time." I said.

"I want you to see something." my mom advised me.

“I told you, pookie face, I don’t want to see Mars Attacks again. That movie scares me.” I said.

“No not that.” my mom said as she held my arm and pulled me into the living room.

She took me into the living room to see everything cut in half. “Ok, everything is cut in half so perfectly, so what? My dad knows you’re cheating on him with a sushi chef.”

"Oh shut up, he’s my ex. He just invited me to coffee.” my mom excused herself. “I swear these cut-marks are yours.”

"How can that be me when I'm standing right here?" I asked.

"No, you did this in the middle of the night, didn't you?" my mom asked.

"You automatically assumed it was me?" I asked.

"You're the one that's studying spells." my mom said.

"Hey look on the bright side, ma, now we got furniture half-price!" I teased and laughed.

"Flarey this is serious. Like seriously actually. I wanna know that you're the one who did this, and I'm gonna prove it!" my mom said.

"Oh can you repeat that? I lost you when you said 'prove it'." I said. Later that night, my mom was hiding behind the couch with a video camera.

"Bow? Honey, are you coming to bed?" my dad asked.

"Later, Subby. I'm researching." my mom said.

"When did you turn into a scientist?" my dad asked. “Did that sushi chef ask you to?”

"Just go to bed, dear. I'll join you once I get to the bottom of this." my mom said.

"If you want to get into the bottom of the couch, just crawl under." my dad teased.

My mom just gave him an annoyed look. "Good night, Sub." My dad walked into bed and my mom turned off the lights in the living room. Wow, I can’t remember the last time my dad asked my mom to come to bed with him. My dad used to pull all-nighters playing games. Oh how their love died out so long ago? Anyways, my mom was hiding for four hours already with the video camera just waiting for me to show up and cut the remaining undamaged furniture in half. She waited, and waited, and waited, until the camera's battery was dead.

She went into the kitchen to get new batteries, but as she finished, she heard footsteps coming from the hallway of our nice big condo. Yeah did I mention our condo was huge and beautiful? Three bedrooms, two in a half bath, a living room, a nice big kitchen, a wall that separates the dining room from the living room, it was super beautiful! The only thing I didn’t like about it was that the laundry room was right in the middle of the hallway, and every Sunday we have to walk pass my mom who is folding laundry and a couple of times, my clumsy sister tripped over some of the pile of clothes in the hallway.

So anyways, as my mom turned on the video camera again, she saw my bedroom door opened. "Where did he go?" my mom asked herself, and then she heard a spark coming from the den. Yeah we have a den too. So when she looked inside the den, she saw something glowing, like a blue glow-stick, and it was moving around cutting stuff in half. My mom turned on the video camera and then the flashlight, and there was me with my horn glowing like a lightsaber; although I wasn't awake. I started cutting stuff in half in the den, and then she turned on the lights and yelled; "FLARE! WAKE UP!" I woke up all the sudden just before I attempted to destroy the computer. I woke up in the flash with my hornsaber still active.

"WHOA! What?!" I yelled. "Mom? How did I get here?"

"So that explains everything." my mom said. "You were sleep spelling."

"Sleep spelling?" I asked. “How did I do? Was I able to spell onamonapea?” Yeah I’m so bad at spelling that word that I can’t even spell it as I write this. No I’m not even using spell-checker. I want to show you all how bad of a speller I am.

"So you did learn from that book, but the only problem is, you can't control your magic." my mom said as she leaned a mirror over to me so I can see my newly formed spell.

"What's this on my head?" I asked as I was looking at my hornsaber. I touched it, and it felt like a baseball bat. “That didn’t even shock me. Wow… a hornsaber spell. My life is just getting weirder and weirder; just like soy sauce. Once you pour soy sauce on some of your food, it all just goes on the bottom leaving almost no flavor on the rest of the meal.”

"Hornsaber, huh? How is that possible? Your flank tattoo is a computer mouse." my mom said.

“A flank tattoo? Isn’t it called a cutie mark?” I asked her.

“It’s like a tattoo, and it’s on your flank, isn’t it?” my mom asked.

“That is true.” I agreed.

“So if your destiny is computer, how did you get something from a movie?” mom asked.

"Star Wars can be a video game too. I mean there hasn’t been one yet but there will be, I’m certain of it." I said. "Wow, I can't believe this! I learned something from that book!"

"But you need to learn to control it." my mom said.

"You're right, but that sounds expensive, and it would require a bunch of scientists.” I said.

“Maybe you should learn new spells.” My mom suggested.

“Or I can do that too.” I said.

“That’s the spirit, best friend pookie face!” my mom said.

“No, mom, remember, I’m pookie face best friend, and you’re best friend pookie face.” I reminded her.

“I knew you could do it though!” my mom said excitedly.

"Really? Then you must be psychic because that was an unlikely guess, much like the odds of the Fillyapolis Colts being in an NFL championship.” I said.

A cutaway shows the Fillyapolis Colts playing against some other hoofball team that’s not worth mentioning because hoofball is stupid. “23… 29…. 42!” one of the players yelled.

“You’re not counting right!” one of the colts yelled. “Go back to school!”

“64… HIKE!” one of the enemy team players yelled. As the enemy team begins playing and the Colts ripped off their hoofball outfits and started wearing lumberjack outfits, and they took out hiking sticks.

“Well, who’s up for fishing?” one of the colts asked.

“ME! ME! ME!” the rest of the colts all yelled at the same time, but not necessarily at the same moment because some of the mes were out of sync. The cutaway ends.

So from that day forward, I tried to learn new spells. Most of the summer I've been practicing the spells I learned, and eventually I learned to control them. For most of the summer, I've also tried to play new video games like Half-Life 1, and Unreal Tournament, and even Goldeneye! What? You think I forgotten video games? Never! Near the end of the summer, my water squirter spell was upgraded with more water power, and my flares spell has been upgraded so my flares can get launched up into the sky, and the last new spell I learned was to put random objects together to make something really cool. I used my magic to create a Spyro sculpture made with toothpicks. The last day of summer came, and it was 8:45 PM; it was dark out, except for the neon lights seen in the streets of Ocean Drive and from the tall buildings Downtown. Mareami is a beautiful city! It’s rough being born in the 1980s in Mareami, believe me on that. I’m so glad it’s the 90s now. When I walked outside and walked over to Ocean Drive and over near the shoreline, I sat on a rock and looked up into the moon and saw the Mare in the Moon.

"Sup Princess Luna?" I said to the moon. "I've been coming to see you almost every night now so you don't feel lonely like I've been." I come to the beach almost every night to talk to the Mare in the Moon. Other than my family and my fish, the Mare in the Moon was my only friend, but you knew that already if you read the very beginning of Book 1. "So, how are things up there? Things down here have been better for me. I just wish I could meet you face to face instead of me talking to you from down here, and you all the way up there. So I finished Spyro: Year of the Dragon today, and of course I suck at GTA 2. If only they can make that game more 3-D and more places to save your game, and maybe even cooler missions. Just wait until GTA 3 comes out. So, middle school starts tomorrow, sista. I'm assuming I might be bullied again, but I'm not worried, because I learned some possum grade awesome new spells to defend myself against anything! I also hope one day I'll finally make a friend. Hey, at least I have you. I got nopony, but then again, you don’t either because you’re all alone up there.

“Most ponies have forgotten about you, but not me. Once I learned about you in history class, I just felt so bad, and I’m glad I listened in class that day because I hate history. Well, you have me, Luna. You have me. Smiley face. And I hope one day you'll return from your prison and we can be closer friends. I mean, Princess Celestia is ok, but I'm assuming she's lonely without you. I hope one day you'll understand that and you can rule by her side again. Having forever night isn't so bad. I think that'll mean no school and it won't be so hot. You know how hot it is down here in Mareami? Also, if the night is lasting forever in Equestria, I feel bad for the other side of the world having forever sun. Well, I hope it all goes well for you because nothing will go wrong, as long as you believe in yourself. I know I will, and I believe in anything; I even believe in existing and everyone says you’re a myth, but I know better."

So I just laid there in the sand looking at the Mare in the Moon, but then suddenly, something I never expected happened right before my eyes. I saw the Mare in the Moon wink at me. I thought it was an illusion at first; probably sand in my eyes, but then the moon winked at me again, but I still didn’t believe it because of the sandy eyes, and then the mare got annoyed so she started blinking really fast to prove her point. “Ok I believe you, relax!” I yelled out at her. Just then, the mare’s lower eyelids went up and her face was shaking a bit. I guess she was chuckling. I was so excited to see that! It proves that there's somepony at there who truly cares for me. I wish Celestia would’ve used the Elements of Harmony to turn her good again like the Mane Six did, but nooooo, she banished her. Really, I’m a bit upset about that. Well, this was before Luna’s return; she’s still in the moon, waiting for her release, and I will wait for her.

The next day came and middle school started. We had a nice principle and Herb was still bothering me a lot less because he knew I could defend myself now. Ponies weren’t ignoring me anymore and treated me more like an acquaintance, but I was a little nervous to try to actually befriend them. If you don’t have actual friends as a kid, it’s gonna be difficult as you get older but don’t lose hope. Friendship will come. Middle school so far was decent for me. I felt that this was a brand new start for me, and I was confident.

My friendship life was just about to get started for real because I heard Herb and his friends Annabelle and Angel Heartstrings picking on a fellow student. “Swinebutt! Swinebutt! Swinebutt!” the three bullies teased the student.

“I swear I will use all my mighty intellect to end you here and now!” the student cried as he snorted at the end of his sentence.

“Mighty intellect, huh, man? You may be smart, man, but you’re ugly and short, man, and you’re not even a pony nevertheless, man!” Angel Heartstrings said to the student. He was right, this student wasn’t a pony, he was a pig. An actual pig as a student in our school. He had red eyes, he wore glasses, and he wore a turquoise labcoat, and a white blouse and red tie underneath it. He was also bald and had no cutie mark since he was… y’know, a pig.

"It’s because I’m a pig right? Just because I’m a pig, that automatically means I’m presumed ugly?” the pig asked.

"It’s a scientific fact, you piece of bacon!” Annabelle said to him.

“Ok THAT was low! Us pigs hate to be called that!” the pig yelled at him.

“Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it… porkchop?” Herb asked.

“You’re askin’ it for it now, buddy!” the pig yelled at him as he placed his hoof over against his face, and the part of his hoof that you may consider his pinky goes over near his mouth.

“You’re weak, man, and there’s only one of you, man, there’s nothing you can do against us, man.” Angel said.

“What’s a pig like you against three ponies like us?” Annabelle asked.

“Probably nothing,” I said, “but what’s a pig and a pony against three lowlives?”
“Oh look who it is! Crimson Flare Gun! The brave pony that fought against Herb Leafhorn, Jr.” Herb said. “How was your summer, buddy?”

“I’m not your buddy, guy.” I said to him.

“I’m not your guy, friend.” Herb said.

“I’m not your friend, buddy.” I said to him.

“I’m not your buddy, guy.” Herb said to me.

“Anyways, you had your chance to be buddies with me, brah, but that ship has sailed. You can pick on me, but pick on defenseless pigs and you’re really getting me aggervated!” I yelled at them. “No offense, umm…”

“Swinebutt. Porker Swinebutt.” The pig said.

“Really? That’s your name?” I asked.

“Are you gonna tease me too?” Swinebutt asked as he snorted.

“No way, brah! You and me need to stick together.” I said.

“Aww how sweet!” Herb said in a cute tone of voice.

“Why don’t you two get married or something?” Annabelle teased as the three of them laughed.

“Really? You’re joking about sexism now? You three should be ashamed of yourselves.” I said.

“Well looks like somepony’s asking for a flagpole wedgie!” Herb threatened me.

“First off: no underwear. Second: I learned a ton of magic over the summer, so if you don’t want your hoof chopped off and me saying I’m your father, hint hint: hornsaber, I suggest you run off and don’t trouble us again!” I advised them. Annabelle and Angel got angry and started marching over to me so they could attack but Herb holds his hooves out and stops them.

“Ok, Crimson I hear you. We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.” Herb said.

“Good.” I said. “Us lovebirds would love to be left alone.

“Really, dude?” Swinebutt asked in an annoyed tone.

“I’m just trolling them, brah.” I whispered to him.

“I hope you two become close because you both are gonna need it.” Herb warned me.

“Yeah, man, just watch your backs if you know what’s good for you, man, because you’re messing with the wrong man, man.” Angel said.

“Oooo I’m so scared.” I said sarcastically.

“You’re gonna be, Crimson. You’re gonna be.” Herb said as him and his friends walk away.

“Thanks for the help, bro.” Swinebutt said.

“Hey, nopony’s gonna mess with us. Not by the hair of our chinny-chin-chins.” I teased.

“Heh, good one.” Swinebutt chuckled. “Nice to meet you, Crimson.”

“Please, call me Flare.” I insisted.

“Ok, Flare. I’m glad to have a friend like you by my side.” Swinebutt smiled at me and snorted as he places his pinky near his mouth again.

“Why do you keep doing that?” I asked.

“I snort, I’m a pig.” Swinebutt said.

“No the pinky thing.” I corrected him.

“Oh, I do that when I’m nervous. I can’t help it.” Swinebutt said.

“No need to be nervous, Porker Swinebutt. We’ll get along great! I assure you!” I promised. So I took him to the nurse's office so he could get patched up from the bullying, and Porker became my new best friend. We hung out everyday after school, and I trusted him completely, and he trusted me. We always helped each other out in dire situations, and for once I never felt left out. Whatever I did, he did with me, and same thing with me doing the same stuff he likes. Our friendship was fair and…. friendly. One day when we were hanging in my room, I was talking to my fish and then he asked me a question.

"Hey Flare?" he asked getting my attention.

"Yeah, Porky?" I asked.

"Look, you're pretty much the only one I can trust." he said.

"Thanks brah, that means alot!" I said.

"So I want to take you somewhere, that nopony but ever went before. I trust you, man. Don't tell anypony." Porker said.

"I won't." I said.

"You have to swear on it!" he said.

"But swearing is bad, I got in trouble for cussing once." I said.

He laughed and snorted as he laughed which made me laugh. "You're funny. No, I mean you have to promise."

"I promise, brah." I said.

"You have to piggie promise." he said. So we both did our secret hoofshake, which is: Shaking our hooves, rolling around, and putting our heads up and down, and it goes like this: "Piggie cake, piggie cake, roll in the mud. Pew pew pew!"

“Alright so you ready?” he asked.

“I am! So when are we going to go inside your mom’s tummy?” I asked.

So after I made my promise, we went over to the junkyard, to his hideout. Luckily for me there were no dogs there. "So where is this hideout of yours?" I asked.

"Over here, follow me." he said.

"Can't think of a cleaner place to put your hideout, Porky?" I asked.

"Trust me, you won't regret seeing this." he said. "Here we are!"

"Where is it?" I asked.

"It's that small trailer right there." he said.

"Yuck! As I expected, you couldn't clean it up well, and it's tiny." I said. "It's not worth telling the world about anyway. LAWL!"

"Trust me, when we get inside, you'll be amazed!" he said. So once we walked up to the trailer, Swinebutt placed his hoof on the scanner near the door, then his eye, then types in a code, and says his secret password.

"Password, please?" the scanner asked.

"Th-th-th-THAT’S ALL FOLKS!” Porky Swinebutt said to the scanner.

"Access granted." the scanner said, and the door unlocked.

"Welcome to my hideout!" he said as he opens the door revealing the interior of his trailer which was bigger on the inside and there were three doors on each side wall in the hallway and one in the very end. Now where have we seen this trailer before?

“Wow! Exactly how I predicted!” I said.

“Really?” Swinebutt asked.

“Yeah! I knew this room would be silver colored!” I said.

“Well,” Swinebutt snorts, “you’re right, Flare. Over here where a nice kitchen might be if you remodeled this place is the bio-lab where I keep my chemistry equipment for classes, and over here we have the lounge, over here where you could be a living room if you want is a storage room, over here is a bathroom with a decontamination shower, over here where you could be an exercise room is my security room and mainframe where I keep the security I installed in this place very operational, over here where you can put a guest bedroom if you want is the room where I keep my collection of Swinebots, and over here where you could put a main bedroom is my main lab. This is where I research and build my Swinebots.”

“Swinebots, huh?” I asked.

“Yes, sir! I’ve been building robots ever since I was a little piggy- and don’t you dare make a ‘we-we-we all the way home joke’.” Swinebutt demanded as he snorted.

“This place is awesome, Porky! Build this entire trailer yourself?” I asked.

“No, I actually found it like this. It was weird.” Swinebutt said as he snorted. “I’ve been researching the source of why this trailer is bigger on the inside, but I haven’t come to any conclusion yet. This place is also 100% indestructible from the outside. Not even an atomic ray gun could zap through this.”

“How about a super atomic ray gun?” I asked.

“C’mon Flare, be serious. You can’t make something like that.” Swinebutt said. “But I am working on a blueprint to build a super-elite ray gun.”

“So you don’t know anything about this trailer?” I asked.

“Not a thing.” Swinebutt said.

“It’s Time Lord technology.” I said.

“Interesting theory, Flare, but we cannot be certain unless we have a fair amount of evidence that supports it.” Swinebutt said. “The only clue I could find with this trailer is this logo right here. A letter C with a ring around the down-left corner and the upper-right.”

“Did you try researching this logo?” I asked.

“Yes, and no matter how cool the internet is right now (even though my phones don’t work when I use it), I cannot find a conclusion to the logo either. It may be Time Lord technology, but I never seen a Doctor Who episode with a logo like this.” Swinebutt explained.

“Perhaps we can research together.” I suggested.

“Are you sure? Are you the smart-type?” Swinebutt asked.

“Well I’m not a genius, and I do have a slightly low IQ, and I’m very clumsy, and I don’t know a lot of big words, and I barely passed science at school, and I was in a special-needs class for second grade, but I think I’m smart enough to help you out, buddy!” I said.

“Well that’s good to know! I could use some assistance with my research.” Swinebutt said.

“We’re gonna do great!” I said excitedly.

“Of course we’ll do great, Flare Gun! We make a great team!” Swinebutt said excitedly. “Probably a better team than Batman and Robin!”

A cutaway shows Robin talking to Batman; Robin said to him, “Hey, Batman, the bank is being robbed by the Joker again, shouldn’t we-“

Just then, Batman slaps Robin across the face and says angrily, “MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!”

A little while later after the Joker has been defeated, Robin says to Batman, “Good job, Batman! We defeated the joker! We should get ourselves some chocolate sha-“

But then Batman slaps Robin again while holding Joker hand-cuffed and he yells at his side-kick, “MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!”
“Wow, and I thought I was the villain here? I would NEVER slap a child.” Joker said.

“You always have the sensitive side, pumpkin!” Harley said sweetly to her boyfriend.

Later on, while eating nachos, Robin goes over to Batman and asks him, “Hey Batman, the holidays are coming up. Shouldn’t you think of getting your parents a postcard. It would make them happy.”

Just then Batman slaps Robin again and yells, “BATMAN DOES NOT EAT NACHOS!” The cutaway ends.

So Swinebutt and I hung in his trailer for a long time. I helped him on inventions and we became lab partners. Not much happened during middle school, but middle school was the time I met Blueberry Pie, but not personally because… well I told you the Blueberry Pie story already back in chapter 3, and we all know Crèmepop’s story already with her helping me out without me even knowing it. It was peaceful during middle school until the 8th grade play.

We were playing the Wizard of Oz and I was Scare Crow. I did really well in the play, and I was funny; I did a few teasing scenes and the audience laughed. This is my one chance to shine out because I was pretty good at acting and improvising. Porky was playing as Tin Stallion and he did really well too. I was smiled by the ponies that ignored me in the past, and I really thought I was gonna be popular, until it all changed during the end. Blueberry Pie was being played by Dorthey and during the end of the play, she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"And I think I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow." Blueberry said to me. I smiled.

"Well the others are gonna be jealous then.” I teased, and everypony in the audience started to laugh.

"Now I know I have a heart because it's failing." Porky said as he played dead. The audience were laughing at that too. I swear; Swinebutt and I were stealing the show! I taught Swinebutt to be the funny pig.

"Well, goodbye Dorthey. Hope the door doesn’t hit you on the way out." I teased.

"Ewww!" Blueberry said.

"Eww? How is that disgusting?" I asked.

"Eww! Flare you leaked!" Blueberry pointed out. I looked down and saw something liquid on the ground.

"Holy Wizard of Feelings! My water broke!" I cried. Everypony in the audience was laughing.

"That's not water, that's.... ewww. Forget that I'll miss you most of all, I won't miss you at all!" Blueberry said as she ran away but before she ran away, she winked at me. What’s that girl’s problem?

"But... I never leak." I said nervously. "Lawl! A first time for everything, huh?" Then the audience started booing at me. "Boo? Why is the audience saying boo? They're not scary." I said. Then they all started throwing tomatoes at me. "Yay! Free food!" I cried in enjoyment.

"You are the worst thing that ever hit stage!" a member of the audience said.

"You make culture a bad name!" another member of the audience said to me.

"You ruined Wizard of Oz for me, and Scarecrows, and tomatoes, and lemonade!" another member of the audience called to me. I tried laughing along, but it was really insulting, then the laugh turned into tears.

"Crying face." I said as I started running away off the stage. I thought I was in the clear, but I was wrong. When I looked back, an empty lemonade cup fell on the floor. Yeah that was lemonade, so I knew I was sabotaged, and before I left the stage, I saw Herb chuckling at me from the other side. I had the feeling it was him.

The rest of my time at middle school was the worst yet! Ponies kept spilling lemonade on the floor. It made me really angry because that’s a waste of perfectly freshly-brewed lemonade. How could they do that? At least Porky was there for me, but I had to get back at Herb somehow for humiliating me like that. Perhaps the time will come in high school.

High school came and the picking on me was died down, but as a freshman, it didn’t die down completely, but luckily I was getting picked on evenly with every other freshman. It was pretty much all of us against the whole school so my classmates from middle school had no time to pick on me. It was a truce from there until the grade was over. Luckily I was highly trained against bullies so I led my fellow freshmen into a successful hiding, and from there on out, they never teased me again. I was respected now by them, but it felt good. So yeah, my past wasn’t all bad. I just keep forgetting the positive times I had, and if I just keep remembering that, I can never be depressed. I suggest you depressed folks out there do the same thing because I know all of you had some positive times in the past; you just need to remember them. I believe you in you all, and I know you could believe in yourselves too!

Alright well enough of the sassy talk. Other than the freshmen hunters, the work wasn’t a walk in the park either for me; there were projects that were really hard for me to get done, but I had Porky there to help me out. If it weren't for him, I probably wouldn’t have a chance to pass school, but there was something that I had that Porky didn't: he didn't know how to drive. Now I know these ponyfolk in Ponyville don't drive carriages that much, but here in Mareami, and other major cities like Manehatten, Los Pegasus, and Hoofington, ponies did drive, and to pull carriages, you needed a license, and I pretty much had it, and he didn't. Flashback ends.

"Wow, ya drove?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Yeah he drives us all crazy." Scootaloo teased as the other crucaders laughed along, and the Mane Six laughed along too.

“How is that funny in any way?” Engie asked.

“Shhhh! They’re just fillies, just play along.” Blaze whispered to Engie.

“But it’s not funny. It’s not funny one bit. It’s a very old joke and if ah was laughin’, ah’d be lyin’.” Engie said.

“I know just spare the feelings of the crusaders.” Blaze whispered.

“Ah am sparin’ their feelings. They won’t hear me lie.” Engie said. Blaze sighs and facehooves himself.

"Let me tell you one thing. I was never in a carriage accident." I said.

"But you did get your license suspended one time while talking on the phone." Water said.

"And that’s supposed to help how?" I asked.

"C'mon bro, don't you deny it!" Water said to me as she play punched me in the shoulder.

"Yeah it was true, I did get my license suspended one time, so Water had to drive me places. It was either her or a donkey that says jokes. Mom thought I wouldn't like the donkey, but she picked the opposite of what I would've picked!" I complained. "I mean c'mon! A donkey that tells jokes? That's the most epicist thing ever!"

"Flare, I don't think 'epicist' is a word." Twilight corrected me.

"Yes Twilight, thank you for the obvious remark.” I said sarcastically.

“Yeah seriously, Twilight, he’s just trying to have fun.” Water complained to her.

“Sorry for trying to help Flare sound less ridiculous.” Twilight said in an annoyed tone.

"Anywho, I'm just about to reach the conclusion of my life at school, and this is probably going to give you the most feels. I was at senior year, and I couldn't find a date for the prom." Flashback starts again, it was prom night, everypony in school had a-

“Wait a second!” Sweetie Belle interrupts the flashback. “You couldn’t find a date for the prom? What happened to Blueberry Pie?”

“She already betrayed me at this point, but how did you know? I didn’t tell you that.” I asked. “Did Crèmepop tell you?”

“No Pinkie did.” Sweetie Belle corrected me.

“How did she know? I didn’t tell her.” I asked curiously.

“I was in your flashbaaaaaaaack!” Pinkie said excitedly as she hoped across the kitchen behind me, and then she shouts in my face, “Remember?”

“Right I do.” I nodded.

“Awww, I miss it when you say ‘lawl remember’!” Pinkie whined.

“Really? Cause I don’t. It annoyed too many people. I wouldn’t change myself for the sake of my friends, but I started to get annoyed by my leet speak too.” I said.

“Didn’t we all?” AppleJack teased, but she didn’t really tease, but she smiled as she said that. It was a tease, but not a joke. I can’t really explain that.

“Anyways, as I was saying – I had nopony to go with me at the prom. Almost everypony did, but some weren’t so lucky, like Porky and I.” I said as the flashback started again. Now it would be really weird if we took eachother, but we still went, and who cares if we didn't have any dates? So, I brought floor lamp with me. Yep, forever alone, but it was better than nothing. The prom was fun! We ate, we danced, and we had a great time, and we didn't care that we had no dates. We still had a great time! Herb and his friends started to tease me because I actually did bring a date, but not a date you’d expect.

"Hey look, Crimson is dancing with a floor lamp!" Herb teased. "Who's the lucky gal?"

"Nah, I think that lamp was forced here against her will." Annabelle teased as he laughed along.

"Ugh, don't listen to them, babe!" I said to the floor lamp. "They're obviously just jealous."

"Jealous? HA! Wow, that's rich." Herb chuckled.

"Hey at least I amused you!" I said with a smile.

"Amuse? You just made me barf a bit in my mouth!" Herb said.

“Be careful, Herb, because I was nice to you these past few years and didn’t bother with revenge on what you did at the Wizard of Oz play.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Crimson.” Herb said as he takes my laugh. “Maybe your ‘date’ would prefer dancing with me.”

"HEY! Let go of her!" I yelled.

"Her? You know how stupid you're sounding right now?" Herb asked. "It's not a 'her', it's an 'it'."

"Porky! Help me out please?" I asked.

"Sorry, bro. There's one more eggplant in the buffet and I cannot miss this opportunity!" Porky said excitedly as he ran off.

"PORKER!?" I yelled. “Swinebutt I need you!”

Herb and his friends laughed. "Wow, man, even the poor nerd cannot help you out, Crimson, man!” Angel pointed out and laughed.

"Take your stinkin hooves off my lamp! You know how expensive that was?" I yelled at Herb.

"Oh gosh. I didn't know that. I'm sorry, Crimson. Here, you can have it back." Herb said giving me back my lamp.

"Oh thanks, brah!" I said as I held my hooves out wanting my lamp back, but then he smashed the lamp against a pole, and it broke into a bunch of pieces.

“Here you go.” Herb said as he gave the broken lamp back to me. “I must say she really suits you! A little broken shell, and useless.” I started to get very angry, not just because he called me useless, and just because he broke my lamp, but he called me little!

“NOPONY CALLS ME LITTLE!” I yelled. “I’m BIG! I’m a BIG FLARE! MY BIG FLARE!”

Herb started laughing at me. "Pathetic! Just pathetic, Crimson!”

I got really angry, so angry I was steaming, and I was turning bright red… no my coat color is not bright red, it’s regular red, just so you know the difference. My horn started glowing. It glowed so bright, it was never that bright. I turned to Herb and growled at him. Herb stopped laughing and looked at me in confusion.

"I HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU!" I screamed at him. Just then, a giant laser swooshed out of my horn, and pushed Herb across the gym where the prom was taking place, and he went through a bunch of walls until he reached the janitor's closet and landed in a janitor bucket and had a mop on his head. He was surprised in there. He couldn't move because he was so shocked. Everypony looked at me, surprised. "WHOA! THAT.... WAS.... AWESOME! AWESOME POSSUM!" I yelled. "That was the best spell I've ever done! I was firing that giant laser and it pushed him across the room and into the janitor's closet! Man that was pretty sick, brah! I wonder what I should call it?" A couple of security guards appeared behind me, I looked back and saw them.

“MARY-SUE!” one of the students yelled.

“OP!” another student yelled.

“No pony should do a magic spell that powerful unless they are canon!” another student yelled.

“But I don’t understand… that spell really tired me out and I didn’t even know I knew that spell! What kind of spell was that?” I asked. “Looked like something out of an internet animation video!”

“Who cares how tired you are? That’s too powerful and godly and you should be ashamed!” one of the students yelled.

“Yeah you’re no different than an alicorn!” another student yelled. I really couldn’t understand what everypony’s problem was. That was the very first time I knew that spell, my… Shoop Da Whoop… but that was the only time in my past that I ever used it. I swore to myself never to use that spell again. I did break that promise, however, after I rescued the Mane Six from that singing piranha plant when I moved into Ponyville, but I always hated to be called OP ever since.

During the rest of my high school years, everypony except Swinebutt avoided me. I think it was for the best though. I’m done trying to make friends. I try and I try, and I even mind my own business, but Herb is trying to ruin my life all because of something that happened in the past. Why can’t he just get over it? Swinebutt was the only true friend I ever had, and I’m glad I had someone like him by my side. After some weeks, I finally graduated high school; no more stress from other students, but I didn’t want to take that chance. There was still college to go to, but I couldn’t risk any more stress. My blood pressure was up high as it was, followed by junk food and becoming super angry at not able to get any 100% completions on any of the GTA games.

When college started, I disguised myself as an exchanged student from Manehatten by the name of Fire Bolt. I was found out by ponies during the years, so it wasn't easy. I went to the University of Mareami and got myself a bachelors degree in cooking, and I was a success! I graduated college, so all there's left is to find myself a job. So I worked at my grandma's bakery until I had enough money to open my own restaurant. The flashback ends there.

“So that was the worse part, huh? Being hated by everypony just as ya graduated high school? That’s so sad.” Apple Bloom said.

“Are you kidding? That was awesome!” Scoots said excitedly. “Who cares what everypony thinks about you, Flare? You went out with a bang and that’s all that matters!”

“You’re right, Scoots, I did think about that, but my past stressed me out many times during college and my time with grandma at the bakery shop, and of course learning to play the accordion.” I explained. “I have the legendary Cheese Sandwich to thank for that. The king of parodies!”

Another flashback starts of me watching a music video by Cheese Sandwich. When I first saw the Fat parody music video he made, I fell in love with Cheese Sandwich! I listened to all his polkas, his parodies, and his original music! He was amazing! He helped me believe in myself again! He helped me get rid of my stress! As I was in college and worked at my grandma’s bakery, I kept singing his songs, and everypony thought I was funny. One day, my Uncle Marty-Four Gun, otherwise known as Chief Officer M4 Gun gave me his accordion that he barely used when he was a kid. Ever since then, I was taught to play it and I loved it so much!

One day I was in my room playing my accordion for my fish, playing My Bologna by Cheese Sandwich. “Ooh, my little hungry one… hungry one – open up a package of myyy bologna! Oooh, I think the toast is done… the toast is done – top it with a little of myyyy bologona!”

”He’s good.” OJ said.

“He’s really good.” Mickey said.

“Heh! It’s so good being in charge now!” Chuck chuckled (no pun intended). “Rest in peace, Spot! Thank for you for this position… moron!”

“You just wait! You’re gonna die next, jerk!” Darrel yelled at him.

“I miss the Darrel that was before you. He was so much nicer.” Chuck said to Darrel who turns out to be Darrel III. Darrel II didn’t last very long.

I didn’t just play that accordion alone; I played it at the bakery too to entertain the customers. I played Another One Rides the Bus for the customers, and Swinebutt was there too playing horns and other sound effects with the song. “There’s a suitcase poking me in the ribs, there’s an elbow in my ear!” I sang.

“Yeah.” Swinebutt said in a deep voice.

“There’s a smelly ol bum standing next to me – hasn’t showered in a year.” I sang. “Well I think I’m missing a contact lends, I think my wallet’s gone – and I think this bus is stopping again, and a couple of freaks get on – LOOK OUT!”

“Another one rides the bus!” Swinebutt and I both sang. “Another one rides the bus!”

“And another comes on, and another comes on-“ I sang by myself.

“Another rides the bus!” the both of us sang.

“HEY! He’s gonna sit by YOU-“ I sang by myself.

“Another rides the BUS!” we both sang.

“HEY!” I shouted. I also started using my accordion in talent shows, karaoke, earn money on the street corner, play at parties, used it to entertain surgeons during operations, sang it to criminals at the police station to help calm them down, and I even used it when I was arrested for egging Herb Leafhorn, Sr.’s house, but I was bailed out at a cheap price. I even used my accordion during the bail-out, and during the time I was grounded, which didn’t make sense because my family hates the Leafhorns. Ever since then I loved playing that accordion on regular occasions. I even wrote some of my own songs which weren’t as good as Cheese Sandwich’s.

“Oooooh!” I began to sing as I started playing my accordion. “We got random sound effects in the backgrooooound – that is what I truly love to heeeeeear – random sound effects in the backgroooooound – oh please give me two pints of root beeeeeeer- HEY!” I then started playing my favorite part of the WAY Moby Polka. Dun dun dun, dun dundun dun – dundun dun dun, dun dundun duuuuun. The flashback ends there.

“So you’re a true Cheese Sandwich fan, huh?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I love his music! He makes great parodies!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly.

“I must admit, for a whacky clown that rips-off other pony’s songs, he doesn’t do a half bad job at it.” Rarity said.

“Well I’m glad I was able to share something positive about my past, but now it’s time for the worse part.” I said.

“Ah thought your discovery of yer ‘shoop da whoop’ was the worse?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Oh no, that wasn’t that bad. The true worse part is this next part. This is was the one thing in my past that made me lose confidence the most.” I said.

Another flashback starts. I was 22 years old, and this is when things started to become the worse. I went to Porker's hideout to go hang out with him because I was really in a bad mood that day because I met ponies online that were jerks to
me about my fanfiction and online videos………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………… so I needed a friend to calm me down, but just as I went to his hideout, I saw him talking to Herb and his friends.

"Porky?" I asked as he turned around and saw me.

"Oh, Flare! Uhh... hi!" he said nervously.

"What's going on here?" I asked. “Is Herb picking on you again?”

"Well... uhh..." Porky didn't know what to say.

"Don't worry, Swinebutt. It's time we told him anyway." Herb said to him.

"Tell me what? Porky, why am I so forty-five degree angle mouth face right now? What is Herb talking about? Is it about information on Halo: Reach? Please tell me its information on Halo: Reach! I so want to play that game when it comes out!" I cried.

"Well.... Flare.... I.... I can explain." Porky said. "Umm... actually.... I really can't."

"He never wanted to hang out with you in the first place, Crimson. He was our friend first. We figured if you were friends with our friend Swinebutt here, you'd tell him your secrets, so we can ruin you with them, but the main purpose is to make you lose confidence in yourself." Herb explained. “No one wanted to be friends with you in the first place, Crimson. You just have to face the fact.”

"THAT'S A LIE! A BIG FAT LIE! A BIG FAT GREEK LIE!" I cried.

"It's no lie. Tell him Swinebutt." Herb said to him.

“Crimson, I…. I’m sorry…. I….” Swinebutt snorted. “I didn’t…..”

"But why, Porky?” I asked as I started tearing up. “I… I trusted you.”

Swinebutt wiped his tears and took a deep breath. "To be honest, Crimson, you annoyed me half the time, and this was a way to get popular. I was being picked on too, more then you were, but when you came, you saved me from that suffering. You were very loyal, but yet so very foolish.” Swinebutt explained as he places his pinky near his mouth.

"You USED ME?!” I yelled.

“For my own purpose, Crimson.” Swinebutt said. “I had a choice. Either help out the Leafhorn family, or gain a life of misery.”

"So... you.... you used me! You betrayed me!" I cried.

“I didn’t have much of a choice.” Swinebutt said. “You Guns shouldn’ve taken this land from the Leafhorn family! What would’ve you done!”

“I’d choose a life of misery over double-crossing my friend ANY DAY!” I admitted.

“Well then you’re foolish, Crimson. A little foolish fool.” Swinebutt said. “Yeah that’s right, I called you little! Oh, and by the way, I spilled that lemonade on the floor on that Wizard of Oz play, not Herb!” Swinebutt began to laugh and snort.

I was shocked! So surprised! If you saw my heart it just shrunk 2 sizes that day. The color my coat just turned darker, my horn deflated like a balloon, and my eye pupils shrunk. That was the day my anger got to me; I couldn't hold it any longer! I was really, really angry! More angry than I ever been! They continued to laugh at me, and the anger caused my horn to glow, and all the garbage in the junkyard started to float, some went on fire, and the sky started turning dark, and it started thundering and it was really windy. I never told anypony this, but there was a type of magic I used that was far stronger than my Shoop Da Whoop. My anger caused something that was way beyond my control. I knew it wasn’t me. I felt there was something controlling me, but I knew it had to be my anger. Swinebutt, Herb, and the others stopped laughing and they were confused.

"Uh oh. Maybe we went a little too far." Annabelle said as the four of them became a bit nervous.

“Oh man, man!” Angel said.

My eyes went blood-shot and my horn glowed bright again. I activated my hornsaber. I then screamed, "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, SWINEBUTT!"

Oops! To be continued…..

Flare's Backstory - Part 2

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“YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, SWINEBUTT!” I yelled at my former friend as we continue from where part 1 ended. “I TRUSTED YOU! I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! I TOOK BLAMES FOR YOU! I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DID THAT ACCIDENT ON THE FLOOR AT THAT PLAY, AND I JUST TOOK THE BLAME, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO! BUT NOW THAT YOU BETRAYED ME, YOU RUINED ME, NOW I'M GONNA RUIN YOU!" I sprinted inside Swinebutt’s trailer with my hornsaber activated and I destroyed everything inside. I destroyed his lab, his supplies, his years of research, his projects, EVERYTHING! His security system did not stop me. I was still identified as a friend, and a few Swinebots left over survived, which are the same bots I used to build my pizza shop. Once I finished, I marched out of the trailer and screamed into the sky as a storm spins around the junkyard, but ironically, I did not hold such power. That storm did not come from my horn. That storm was laughing evilly.

"YOU... YOU DESTROYED MY YEARS OF RESEARCH!" he yelled at me.

"WELL YOU BETRAYED ME! YOU DESERVED IT, BUDDY!" I yelled back at him.

"I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, FRIEND!" he yelled at me.

"I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND, GUY!" I yelled back at him.

"I'M NOT YOUR GUY, BUDDY!" he yelled back at me.

"I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, FRIEND!" I yelled back at him.

"WELL I GUESS THIS MEANS WAR!" he yelled. "I SWEAR, WITH CELESTIA AS MY WITNESS, I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOUR LIFE STAYS RUINED! YOU CAN'T RUN FROM IT! I'LL NEVER MAKE YOU REDEEM YOURSELF! IF YOU DO, I'LL TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! YOU JUST WAIT! I LOATHE YOU, CRIMSON FLARE GUN!" Those were the last words I heard from him until the storm above us struck him with lightning. Something was telling me I should go help him, but from the storm, some purple smoke tried to go into my nose, but I wiped it away from my face and ran.

I never saw Swinebutt again after that, but Swinebutt was still alive, I knew it. Swinebutt just laid on the ground breathing heavily, and on his right eye, something began to appear, but that’s all I remember. It ends like this. My anger got to me, and my friend betrayed me. My heart was broken and I didn't have the will to go on. Friendship.... is.... DEAD! Not trying to quote Discord or anything.

"YEAH RUN! Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here!?" Herb yelled.

"Will you not say it like that, man? It makes you sound stupid." Angel said to him. “Man.” This was also the last day I saw Herb and his friends, but I didn’t know what happened to Swinebutt. He got struck by lightning by a strange storm I did not create, but why? The flashback ends there.

"Whoa, nelly!" AppleJack cried. "So that's how yer life got ruined."

"Flare, darling, how could you live with yourself?" Rarity asked.

"I couldn't live with myself." I said. "After Swinebutt betrayed me, I… I gave up. I didn’t bother making any more friends.”

"Flare, we never realized how much your life was-" Twilight said.

"Alright, alright, you all are saying the same thing, just let me finish!" I interrupted her. "Now where was I? Ah, right! So for 2 years I just stayed inside my home not caring for life regardless. I just stayed in, playing video games, posting videos on YouTube, and having no life what so ever, just like poor sap that created this story." The flashback continued. I was just sitting on one of my bean bag chairs, playing Fallout 3 on my XBUCKS.

"Poor fool." my fish OJ said.

"If only there was some way we could help him." Mickey said.

"Yeah, well at least Chuck is getting old." one of my newer fish Hoops said.

“Huh? What was that, sonny-boy?” the mean fish Chuck asked in an old man voice. Chuck was so old that he was wearing glasses and had white hair and a white beard.

“It’s too bad. I like Chuck better now that he’s old.” Mickey said.

"Oh shush! Quit being such big meanies, you do-do heads!” Darrel III yelled at them.

"Still miss old Darrel.” OJ said.

"Flarey? Flarey, can you open please?" Water asked as she knocked on the door.

"Go away! My life is as bad enough as it is!" I yelled.

"Flarey, I strongly respect your privacy by knocking, but I have the authority as your older sister by coming in anyway!" she said as she knocked my door down with a giant column.

"Like mother like daughter." I said.

"Hey, horse.” Water said as she walked over to me. “Flarey, I know you're going through alot right now, and I was thinking of not telling you this because then I'd be a bad sister."

I wasn't really paying attention, as I was playing my game. "Mmhmm." I said.

"Look bro, I bet you're aware that I had a tough life too. I mean you and I aren't so different, you know?" she said.

"Yep." I said still not paying attention.

"So there's really no easy way for saying this, but.... I'm.... gonna go traveling around the world." she said.

"Mmhmm." I said.

"Oh, and also Nana’s in the hospital." she said.

"Uh huh... WAIT! NANA’S IN THE HOSPITAL?!" I yelled.

"Oh good I got your attention." she said to me with a smile.

"Oh great! I was in the middle of fighting some monsters and you made me die!" I complained. “Thanks a lot, Water!”

"Sorry, Flarey, but there's something important I need to tell you, but you weren't listening.” Water said.

"I heard; Nana's in the hospital.” I said. “Well, I'll go get my ski mask and we can go visit her."

"Flarey, don't worry, she's not in the hospital. I just said that to get your attention." she said. "Wait, why do you need a ski mask?"

"To hide my face." I said sadly. “Also, DO NOT lie to me about Nana being in the hospital! Don’t joke around like that. That is NOT funny!”

"I’m sorry, Flarey, but like you; I’m struggling here in Mareami, and I wanna get away from it all. So I’m packing my things and going to travel around the world.” Water said.

"And why would you do that?" I asked.

"I just wanna see all the cool things that Mareami doesn't have. Travel around and see new things. It would totally take my mind off all the suffering that we've encountered here." she said.

"Oh, so we're going on a world trip, huh? I guess I might need that." I said.

"Oh... ummm... sorry, bro. But... mom and dad need you here, and... I wanted this to be an alone thing." she said.

"Oh don't be ridiculous, Water! There's room for both of us! Wait, how we traveling?" I asked.

"RV, but I'm sorry, Flarey, I just.... it's complicated.” Water said.

“I usually call RVs ‘conveys’ because that’s what Niguel Thornberry calls it.” I said.

“Flare, don't make this harder than it already is." Water begged.

“And you think it isn’t hard for either?” I asked. “Water, I can’t… I can’t live without you! Like the fish, and the Mare in the Moon, you’re my only friends!”

“I feel that this is something I have to do, bro. I’m not gonna let these things bother me anymore.” Water said. “I’m going alone on this road trip to put my mind at ease, and then… I’ll be back… for you, bro.”

“Water… if you leave me… you are a tator too! A tator tot! I will burn you with the steak… and then eat that tree steak all up!” I said angrily as I started making munching sounds.

“Uhh… I think I need an adult.” Water commented a little bit freaked out.

“Water, adults like ourselves need to stick together. At least until we gain loved ones.” I said.

“I made my decision, Flare, and I already paid for the RV.” Water said.

“Convey.” I corrected her.

“Whatever. It would seem like a waste not to go, but don’t worry, bro! I’ll be back home before you know.” Water promised.

“Please don’t go!” I begged as I hugged her tight. Water just gave me a kiss on my head, released me and walked out of my room. I never felt so betrayed that day, except for Swinebutt. Now I lost two loved ones. The flashback ends there.

“Flare I realized what I did was wrong.” Present day Water said to me. “When I returned to see you, I realized that.”

“I needed you, Water, and you left me. What kind of sister were you?” I asked angrily.

“A very bad one. Very stubborn. I’m very sorry, Flare, but you have to realize that I took a punishment when I first met Fonz.” Water said. “Very foolish of me.”

“When we were younger, Water, you took care of me. Now that we’re grown up and you’re very confused and don’t know what to do, it is now I that has to take care of you.” I said.

“And I appreciate it. You forgave me after I hurt you the most. Despite what others might you think you are a good pony.” Water said.

“NO! I’m a great pony!” I corrected her. “Very great pony! I don’t care if I’m not saying it right, I am not good, I am great! I’m not perfect though, I’ll give you that.”

Another flashback starts. After a while went by, I was so alone without Water. My parents weren’t very helpful either. My mom always yelled at me, and my dad is now working his butt off at work. He works late, he gets stressed out, but regardless, they’re my parents and I love them just the same. They’re still there for me when I really need them, but they’re not enough not to fill in the empty space I have inside. No…. only food can do that. I am so hungry right now!

October 22, 2010, I went outside to go for a little walk. I was a bit confused after I went outside, because it was 2 in the afternoon, and it was dark outside.

"Why is it so dark out? It's only 2 PM." I asked myself. "Hmm, must be daylight savings time.” When I got to the beach to speak with Mare in the Moon, the ocean was pretty rough tonight so I couldn’t be too close to the shoreline. When I sat down and looked up, I said, “Luna, I need some… wait what?” when I looked up to the moon, I saw no face. The Mare in the Moon was gone. I was a little shocked. “Luna? Are you still there? If you can hear me, I need some help real bad! My whole life I feel is a lie, just like the cake, Swinebutt’s friendship, friendship in general, and Nicki Minaj’s boobies.”

“It's no use, Luna!” I cried. “I have nothing. I don't know what to do, my life has no purpose, but whatever my sister said, I think it's all fake, but.... it could be true. Is my destiny somewhere else? Maybe Mareami is not my home. I mean, this city is awesome! Mareami: The neon lights, the beautiful beaches, the fine dining, all the shops with the cool clothes, the Gatorglades swamps, the humid nights, and if it’s not humid, it’s raining, and let's not forget about Seastar Island, where all the rich pony folk live; and what other cities have the Lunar Space Center in the Cape Canville district, and the best part: Mareami has three theme parks! Candy Kingdom, Magic World, and Galactic Studios! Mareami is the best city in Equestria! But.... the only thing missing.... is friendship, and respect, and treating other ponies for who they are, and cool weather, we never have cool weather. I can't find any of that here; most pony folk I met here are big fat jerks, and the rest are just jerks! Yeah, lots of ponies around here are fat, but that's not my problem, it's friendship I'm looking for. But... I can't find friendship around here. It's like friendship is.... dead." So, for the moment, I started singing 'You're the Inspiration' by Chicago, but in my own words. I was just walking around the beach, singing the song, looking in the ocean, and the moon, etc. It went like this:

"You know friendship was meant to be
The kind of friendship that lasts forever.
And I want somepony with me
From tonight until the end of- HEY!”

I stopped the song there because a newspaper just flew into my face. “What is this?” I asked myself as I removed the newspaper from my face showing a topic of Princess Celestia being missing on the cover. “It’s litter.” I said as I threw the newspaper in the recycling bin nearby. “I know a lot of ponies are rude to me, but they need to have standards.” What I didn’t know was that the newspaper that flew into my face was actually a sign.

After a while, I went home and went to bed, thinking a little sleep might help. I know it was the afternoon, but it still looked dark out. I woke up after my nappy and it was daylight outside. I decided to watch a little TV, so I turned it on, and watched the news. Not Fox news though.

"Live from Cloudsdale, this is E.P.N.N. Equestrian Public News Network, with Grass Marks and Golden Dusk." the host said on TV.

"Good afternoon, Equestria! I'm Grass Marks!" the green pegasus pony said.

"And I'm Golden Dusk, thanks for joining us!" the yellow pegasus said. "It's been quite a long night, hasn't it Grass?"

"Yes it has Gold, and colt you wouldn't believe it, but our Long Night Alert is finally over." Grass said.

"Yeah it seems our ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia, has made peace with her banished sister, Princess Luna!" Gold said.

"Wait, Luna's back?" I asked.

"You betcha! Luna is back!" Grass said.

"Hey how did he hear what I said? He's on the TV!" I asked.

"Technically, I'm in the TV, not ON it." he said.

"Oh whatever! How can he hear me anyway?" I asked.

"With our Princess Luna back, it would seem that Princess Celestia won't be ruling Equestria alone anymore." Gold said.

"But it wasn't Celestia that saved Princess Luna from Nightmare Moon." Grass said.

"Nope, it was six brave ponies who now hold the Elements of Harmony that saved her." Gold said.

"It looks like friendship is in the air in Ponyville!" Grass said. "I sure feel sorry for the poor saps that go through haterd all the time that never learned the value of friendship."

"I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lied.

“Don’t lie.” Grass glared at me.

“HOW CAN HE HEAR ME?!” I yelled. “Can the news program be any worse?”

“And now SPORTS!” Grass said.

“Curse you.” I said in an annoyed tone.

After some time went by, I just kept to myself and watched the news. Normally I don’t watch the news, but I got bored with the games I’ve been playing and what else should I do, hmm? Well after watching the news, something interesting finally came on. Not just negative things, but something positive finally came on the news.

“Welcome back to EPN, I’m Grass Marks, in case you don’t know that already, and we’re here to have an interview with six brave ponies that restored friendship and harmony throughout Equestria and Princess Luna. We’ll be having an interview on them in just a moment, but first, allow us to hear from our sponsors.” Grass said. “EPN is brought to you in part by Pepperidge Farms, the company that reminds you of various things forgotten in the past such as calling ‘dinner’, ‘supper’, or calling a grocery store a ‘market’, or saying ‘golly’ instead of ‘gosh’.”

"Wait, Princess Luna? Friendship? Supper? Market? Golly? Wow, I must've hit my head by that newspaper harder than I thought." I said, rubbing my head. "I would've thought friendship is dead?"

So I watched the interviews Grass Marks made with the Mane Six and I must say…. I have nothing to say. I saw each of the interviews with each of the Mane Six, starting with AppleJack.

"So, AppleJack? You represent the Element of Honesty right?" Grass Marks asked.

"If ah'm lyin, ah'm cryin." AppleJack said as they both laughed. "Ya see, friendship is something that everypony needs to be happy. If there's a pony that doesn't have friends, well.... ah'd do all ah could to get them as much friends as possible! Ya know what ah mean?"

"I sure do, AppleJack! I sure do!" Grass said.

"And the thing is, honesty is a key to friendship. If somepony is yer friend, and they've been lyin to ya from the start, then.... they ain't yer friend, they're usin ya'll!" AppleJack said.

"That is so true!" I yelled. "For Wizard of Feeling's sake, I less then three you, AppleJack! Why can't other ponies be like you? That’s exactly my problem!”

"So Rarity, you represent the Element of Generosity, right?" Grass asked.

"Of course I do, darling!" Rarity said. "How else do ponies always buy things at my shop? I offer cheap prices!" she chuckled.

"Of course!" Grass said.

"Well then, I have a few things to say to the audience: You can't have friendship unless you look divine! Come down to my shop in Ponyville and I'll give you outfits that'll make everypony like you!" Rarity said to the camera.

"You talk about outfits and yet you don't wear anything." I pointed out. “Well, I guess I could use a different look, other than my vest or shoes. Maybe I could use a new mane style too, maybe it's a little too round."

"So Rainbow Dash, I overheard that you hold the Element of...." Grass said, but got interrupted by Rainbow.

"LOYALTY! Yeah that's right! I, Rainbow Dash, hold the Element of Loyalty!" Rainbow said loudly moving around,and even getting close to Grass Marks invading his personal space. "You should've seen me and my friends; we saved Equestria from eternal night, and maybe even the Wonderbolts would accept me! You hear me Wonderbolts?" Rainbow moved close to the camera. "I just saved your butts! Now I would love to be accepted in your group! I've always wanted to do that!"

"Element of Loyalty, huh? Well looks ain't everything, sista." I said. "But I can't judge, I haven't met you yet. Unlike some ponies around here. Angry face!"

"Miss Pinkie Pie, you hold the Element of Laughter I see." Grass said.

Pinkie gasped. "AM I ON TV?!" Pinkie ran to the camera. "HI, MOM! HI, DAD! HEY, LIMESTONE! HEY, MARBLE! HEY, MAUD! I'M ON TV! HEY EVERYPONY WHO'S WATCHING, PARTY AT SUGARCUBE CORNER TONIGHT!"

"Ow! Do you have to scream?" the camera pony asked. Pinkie gave him an embarrassing smile and gave out a little squee.

"Her, I like! She's random like me, and they accept her! WHY DO PONIES ACCEPT OTHERS, BUT NOT ME?!" I complained.

"Unfortunately, Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness couldn't make it to this interview, counting that she's a little.... camera shy. So finally, we have Twilight Sparkle! The Element of Magic!" Grass said.

"A pleasure to be here, Grass Marks!" Twilight said.

"So tell us, how did you defeat Nightmare Moon?" Grass asked.

"Oh we didn't defeat her, we taught her the true meaning of friendship, which caused her anger to go away and turn back to normal." Twilight said. "It wasn't easy, but now that Luna was taught the true meaning of friendship, it just turns out that.... anything is possible! You need friendship in your life, otherwise you'd be like her. Angry, sad, alone, wanting to rule with an iron hoof. You know what I'm saying?"

"Yes, Miss Sparkle. I actually do!" Grass said.

"All the ponies in Ponyville are really nice. Much friendlier than when I was in Canterlot. If you need friendship, come down to Ponyville, and we'll teach you all about it! The power of friendship comes from within." Twilight said.

"Well you heard it hear folks! The Elements of Harmony! Friendship is Magic!" Grass said.

My eyelids grew back to normal and I was really surprised, and I had a feeling I never felt before. "That purple dork is right!" I said. "They all are right. The power of friendship comes from in here, in my kidney! It's all clear to me now. I know what I must do! Oh wait, I just lost it. Oh, it's back again! Oh great I lost it again. Oh I remember, but I should write it down, in case I forget about it again!" So I go into my cabinet and get a piece of paper and a pen to write down my idea. "Oh I forgot my idea again. BLAST!" So I've been thinking for a couple of weeks and I knew exactly what to do! I finally left my room. It wasn't easy to let my sister go on her road trip, or find out that Luna is no longer listening to me from the moon, but my parents saw me exit my room, and smiled.

"Hey buddy! You feeling better?" my dad asked.

"Actually, I do!" I said with a smile.

"Wow, you seemed to be in a good mood!" my mom said.

"I know it's come to this, but I found a plan!" I said.

"What's your plan?" my dad asked.

"Nuh uh uh! Winky face." I said as I winked at them.

"Huh?" dad asked.

“You’re weird, you weird guy.” Mom said.

"I ain't telling you jack-squat!" I said mischievously. "Not yet that is. Just hang on." My parents were concerned of what I was planning, and actually, I was planning opportunity! I went into the junkyard and found Swinebutt's old trailer. He wasn't using it anymore, so it's all mine! You see, after I saw the interview with the Mane Six, I figured I should move to Ponyville and finally experience the true meaning of friendship, but I couldn't go there like this. I thought it was an opportunity to change Porky's old trailer which was a lab, into a home! So I got started in cleaning up the mess I caused after I destroyed it. I made sure it was secured because the security system was the only thing that was still working, as well as some of the Swinebots inside that I couldn’t seem to get working.

So I took control of the security system, changing the password every few weeks. Soon enough, I finished cleaning the trailer. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. I made the kitchen first. Really, all I did was use some of the old junk from the junkyard, cleaned them with my water squirter, and I installed them. Can you believe it? My water squirter can make junk not look like junk anymore! The kitchen looked perfect! I did the bedroom next, then I made the bathroom look better, then I did the Lounge. I connected my XBUCKS and installed some computers, and I also found some old venting machines and soda machines in the junkyard, and I was like: "Eh, what the hay?" No uses having this stuff go to waste. I made the Living Room next, then the Guest Bedroom. I had an extra room, but I didn't know what to use it for, so I turned it into an exercise room when I found some weights in the junkyard and a treadmill. I thought it would be nice if ponies thought I was in shape. It took me almost year to get the trailer complete.

During the years, I lost some old fish, and got new fish. It's too bad. Mickey, OJ, Chuck, Spot, and this Darrel passed away, but this was the time for new fish! I got the Darrel you know now (Darrel IV), Rainbow, Dorthey, Yoyo, Pearl, and Piddles! I got to know them really well! I got to know them for a year, so I rather got attached to them. During the make-over of my new trailer, I saw another interview of the Mane Six after they defeated Discord. That's what kept persuading me to continue my mission to get the trailer done, but also, before I got the trailer done, I searched to see if there were any surviving junk Swinebutt left behind, and I finally got his Swinebots working. I would’ve gotten this trailer done much faster if I found out how to use them sooner.

Inside my new bedroom which used to be Swinebutt’s lab, I found a chest of some sort with the same C logo on it, and like the trailer, it was bigger on the inside. Swinebutt might’ve been researching this thing as well. Inside the chest I found some of Swinebutt’s personal belongings that he left behind, and some plans to build a very secure and tip-top working condition restaurant-type building which gave me the idea of building Flare’s Pizza Parlor. I had to make money some how when I settle in to Ponyville. Finally, the day has come, the last day I was in Mareami. It was my 25th birthday that I decided to go. I told my parents what was going down, and they were pretty upset at first.

"Flarey! Please don't leave us!" my mom begged in tears. “You’re my best friend pookie face!”

“No… I’m your pookie face best friend, get it right!” I corrected her.

“Why must you go? Its bad enough daddy works late and plays multiplayer games all night. I’m going to be basically alone.” My mom said.

“No you won’t. You still have Nana. Take care of her.” I instructed my mom.

“That’s why I cannot come along. Nana needs me.” mom said.

"Flare, just be careful, alright?” my dad asked.

“Dad, how many times do I have to ask you not to state the obvious all the time?” I asked him.

“I’m just trying to make sure you be careful.” Dad said.

“Call me. I love you so much, Flare, just checking.” Mom said.

“Just checking.” I nodded and smiled. “You two just wait. I’ll have exactly what I’m looking for, and I run the pizza joint in Equestria with the secret recipe grandma gave me.”

"I know you will, son. I know you will." my dad said. I hugged them both.

"Aww. It's gonna be sad. I'm gonna miss that pony. I was growing attached to him." Yoyo said.

"Uhh, Yoyo? We're actually going with him." Rainbow reminded him.

"We are?" Yoyo asked.

"Yeah, of course!" Rainbow said.

"YIPPIE!" Darrel cried. "RAINBOW, RAINBOW! WE'RE GOING WITH FLARE! YAY!" He started pushing Rainbow up.

"HEY, HEY! Darrel! Quit it!" Rainbow said. "Seriously, why did Flare bother getting a fourth Darrel?"

"I'm sure Ponyville will be very nice!" Pearl said.

"I hope so.” Piddles said. He looks over to the right of him and sees his reflection on a glass. “Who’s that? When did Flare get another of my kind?”

"Uhh, Piddles, I think that was your reflection." Pearl pointed out.

"I don’t know what that means, but he looks like a cool fish. I think him and I are going to get along.” Piddles smiled as his reflection. “He’s good looking, and somehow he’s copying everything I’m doing. Why is he doing that?”

"How about we stop arguing? Flare's doing himself a favor by moving out. Let's show him how respectful we can be while he's moving." Hoops said.

"Wow, one thing's for sure, it's gonna be some job when he moves the fish tank over to junk trailer he has." Dorthey said.

"How do you know its junky? Have you seen it before, Dorthey?" Pearl asked.

"No, but I heard Flare talking about it." Dorthey said.

"So what are your orders, oh great Hoops?" Darrel asked.

"Orders? I told you, I don't wanna be a leader. Trust me, Chuck was some leader." Hoops said.

"You and Rainbow are the only ones that ever met him!" Yoyo said.

"I know, but seeing his leader skills, and the way OJ and Mickey hated him, it was just.... wow. I really don't know what to say right now." Hoops said.

"Well, one thing's for sure, we gotta get ourselves prepared for the move. Because one thing's for sure, it's gonna be a bumpy ride." Rainbow said.

“Rainbow please!” a talking tiki head said to him. “It ain’t gonna be no bumpy unless ah say so, mon.”

"Alright, so before I go, I need to know, how to move the fish tank all the way down the street to the junkyard without harming them.” I said to my dad.

"Alright let me handle this." my dad said trying to pick up the fish tank, but it's too heavy for him.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing, dad?" I asked.

"Yes, yes, hang on." he said, still trying to pick it up, and then all the sudden, he cracked his back. "Ow! My back! OW!"

"Sub, you're a unicorn, you don't have to use your hooves." my mom reminded him.

"Well excuse me, but we won't have this magic all the time you know!" my dad advised her.

"Yeeeah, I'll take care of this." I said awkwardly.

“Good luck out there, Flare.” dad said.

“Nopony’s going to sing Soft Dalek for you though when you get sick.” Mom reminded me.

“Relax, mom, I’ll find somepony who will.” I comforted her.

So I moved the fish tank into my trailer and my trailer was finally ready. I'm ready to travel to Ponyville and make new friends, and I won't give up until I do! Goodbye Herb, goodbye Swinebutt, goodbye hatred, goodbye suffering! Hello friendship, hello love, hello happiness, and hello friendship morals that end up getting forgotten later on. So I attached myself to the trailer, but.... it was tough to pull at first.

"DOH! Why did I have to make an exercise room?" I said to myself. I kept pulling, and pulling, and pulling, like somepony giving birth, no wait that's pushing. So I pulled and pulled it and moved the trailer for over 20 minutes. After travelling this far, I decided to take a break. “Wow, this is some heavy trailer. I wonder how far I went?” I asked as I looked behind me and I saw the entrance to the junkyard right behind me. “I need to get assistance.”

So I tried from sling-shots to more wheels to jet rockets to explosive barrels but nothing happened. The trailer barely moved. “UGH! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE THIS TRAILER MOVE?!” I yelled, but suddenly I saw the parking boots that were holding the wheels were still on. “Oh.” I just facehoofed myself, removed the parking boot, and attached myself back onto the trailer, and just like that, I was moving easily. Not 100% easily because it’s a big heavy trailer and I’m no earth pony. And so, I walked out of Mareami, and after a mile or two away, I looked back and saw the lights in the Downtown area.

"Look, Mareami, it's not you, it's the ponies that live in you. I love you; you're the best city ever! You have everything, but the only thing you don't have is friendly ponies, and well.... I can't live with it anymore." I said to the city. "But no matter how far I go, you will always be home to me! I promise I'll come back and visit. Goodbye, Mareami." So I turned around and walked onto the interstate. I wouldn’ve taken a plane or a train to Ponyville, but can they fit a trailer like this inside one of those planes? As for train, I just didn’t want to take one because hobos. It was an upsetting ride for me and it wasn't easy. I was tired most of the way, but luckily I had my iced tea drinking hat on to take care of my thirst, and I had some Fiber One bars and Neutral Valley bars in my vest pockets. I had to avoid traffic on the highway, and ranting, and I could've been in carriage accidents if I wasn't so careful.

A time or two I checked my phone for any messages but the only thing I could find is spam text messages from my mom asking me to be careful. Even my Facebook had PMs filled with my mom’s worry and sorrow. “Jeez mom, don’t worry, I’ll be fine!” I complained to my phone. “How about pokes, do I have any pokes?” I checked my pokes to see if I had any. “Aaaaaaaand, yeah I have one poke. Bow Cannon Gun poked you.” I pressed the poke back button and then I said, “You poked Bow! You know, one day I hope I gain a friend in Ponyville that would love to have a poke war with me!”

Nightfall came, I was feeling really tired, but there was no rest stop nearby, so I kept going. I looked up into the moon and there was still no face, but I talked to her anyway. "Luna… I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" I cried. "I'm finally doing it! I'm going to Ponyville to make new friends! You live nearby; maybe I can meet you finally! But Ponyville is just another...." I looked at a sign that said Ponyville 400 miles away. "400 miles away. DANG IT! It's gonna take forever to get there! Maybe I should've taken a train and risk myself getting infections from hobos. No, no, it'll all be worth it when I get there. Waiting is just the challenge! But... I really need to find a place to rest."

"Who you talking to?" a pony in a carriage next to me asked.

"Mare in the Moon." I said.

"Well if you need a place to rest, how about your trailer?" he asked me.

"Well I know where I'm sleeping; I just need a safe place to settle." I said.

"Oh, well the next rest stop shouldn't be too far." the pony said.

"Thanks, brah! That was pretty friendly of you!" I said.

"Everypony needs it." the pony said. I smiled really big. That was a friendly pony, maybe he's from Ponyville. I have no idea though, but I don't wish to find out yet because I'm so tired right now! So I stopped by at the next rest stop so I can turn in for the night. I detached myself from the trailer and went inside. I made myself some dinner, but I was too tired to play any XBUCKs so I just turned in for the night, well after I brushed my teeth, showered, and fed the fish.

"Hey fishies!" I said to them. "Wow, some trip this is so far!"

"You're telling me! You've been shaking the trailer too much; it's making me tank sick!" Yoyo said.

"Same here." Dorthey said.

"So we at our new home yet?" Piddles asked.

"Hmm, let me check." Pearl said jumping out of the tank looking through the window then jumping back in. "No, it looks like a rest stop."

"Eh, I didn't expect us to get there right away anyway." Dorthey said. So I laid down on my bed, turned off the lights and fell asleep. I was dreaming of how fun Ponyville would be, how much LULZ I would spread, and how much hugs I'd get! It's gonna be so fun, brah! Almost as fun as when I went to Candy Kingdom with Swinebutt, and after we went on that rollercoaster he was sick the whole time! It wasn't funny then, but now it just makes me laugh because he deserves it! I hope I never see you again you porkchop! Oh and I was also dreaming of eating a Jamaican Tree Patty because it’s rare to find those these days. I woke up the next morning in a happier mood than I have before.

"MORNING FISHIES!" I yelled. They were startled by my yelling.

"Wow! You're high spirited today, Flare." Dorthey said.

"WOOO! YEAH FLARE! I KNEW YOU'D BE IN THE SPIRIT, I KNEW YOU WOULD!" Darrel yelled leaning against Rainbow.

"Hey, hey! Darrel, what did I tell you about leaning on me?" Rainbow complained.

So I ate some breakfast, and got myself some gum, attached myself onto the trailer again, and I went back on the road. I've been walking along the highway for days, and weeks turned into months… wait I think I skipped days turned into weeks, didn’t I? Oh well I said it now, and minutes turned into hours and all that stuff. After a while, already found myself in the desert region. I kinda got myself lost, maybe I took a wrong turn. I was using my GPS to take me to Ponyville and once I got to a cliff edge, the cliff was in front of me and my GPS told me to go straight! What is wrong with this thing? Trying to get me killed or something? So I wanted to settle down somewhere for a while, I needed to take a break. So I took my trailer to the nearest town – Applelossa. I didn't know much about this place, but it seemed to be like Ponyville. I didn't wanna live here because it seems a little too western for me, so I decided just to take a break here. I walked into town and saw all these southwestern ponies yee hawing and doing whatever dem western folk do, but one thing that puzzled me was, there was so many apple related stuff here, and there were buffalos too. I didn't know what the occasion was, is this some sort of apple-buffalo holiday I don't know about? I didn't feel like pulling my trailer anymore so I parked it near a well, and I thought I could use a drink over at the salt saloon. I walked inside the saloon, bursted the doors opened, and there were ponies playing cards, some were dancing, some were drinking, some were eating salt, but I don't know why because high blood pressure; and one was playing the piano. I walked inside, I looked around, and I walked to the bar and sat on a stool.

"Howdy! Welcome to Applelossa, fellow traveler!" the bartender said. "What can ah get ya?"

"You got any strawberry daiquiri?" I asked. Everypony in the saloon was silent, and they looked at me. "Lion face." I said.

The bartender laughed. "Yer funny, partner! You're in APPLEloosa; we don't have none of dem strawberries here!" Everyone in the bar laughed; and me, I just laughed along. I was kinda liking this place, they didn't give me a funny look because I was laughing. Maybe I could get used to this!

“So you have an apple daiquiri then?” I asked.

“Sure! Ya want an orange slice with that?” the bartender asked. I gotta say I liked this bartender’s enthusiasm, and his mustache.

So I stayed for a while to hang. I was playing cards for some of the pony folk, and how did I do? Decent, but it was fun regardless! After a couple of hours, I had enough of cards, so I went outside for some fresh air. I can’t stand this heat though. Unlike Mareami, this heat is dry. At least Mareami’s heat is moist. So I went to look around. I saw horse-drawn carriages, and horse-drawn- actually I don’t need to explain the town. You already know about the town already. So if I’m going to be staying here for a little while, I’ll need to gain a good reputation here, so I looked around to see who needed help, and up ahead I found a poor pony struggling to pull a cart full of apples. I went up to the pony to see if he would accept.

“Sup brah?” I asked the pony.

“Howdy, stranger.” The pony said. “Welcome to AAAAAAAAPPLELOS- ow! Sorry… ah… ah normally give a more welcoming hospitality to newcomers but ah’m in a bit of a tight spot right now.”

“That’s pretty much what I needed to ask you. Need any help?” I asked.

“Oh no thanks, partner. I have this under control.” The pony said.

“Oh, well… alright…” I said as I leaned on his cart. “If you need any-“ just then, the cart collapses after I leaned on it and apples started piling up around the ground. “Oh sorry about that.”

“Oh, umm, it’s alright, partner.” The pony smiled at me and said. “Come to think of it, ah guess ah do need help after all.”

“Cool, and I totally did not break your cart on purpose just so I would force you to change your mind on me helping you. Zzzzzzero chance.” I said.

“Well hot diggidy dog then!” the pony said excitedly.

“Since when did that become a phrase anyway? It sounds stupid.” I said.

“It’s mah thing, partner. Got a problem?” the pony asked.

“Oh no, I don’t. Please do not think I’m trying to offend you in any way.” I said.

“No worries, buddy, ah’m a laid back type of pony.” The pony said.

“Cool! What’s your name, pony that looks like he likes stallions?” I asked.

“Ugh! Don’t get me started on that!” he said in an annoyed tone. “T’ain’t fair to me that everypony thinks ah think like that only because my hair is long.”

“Don’t worry, bro. I’ve been judged before I was known in the past. I’m not a perfect pony though. Some of those rumors about me are true.” I said. “I am good-looking.”

“Well careful how ya talk, partner. Ah’m ok with it, but others might not.” the pony said.

“Gotcha, pal! Winky face. Wow, I already learned a friendship lesson!” I said excitedly. “Anyways, you didn’t tell me your name yet.”

“The name’s Braeburn!” he said.

“Nice to meet you, Brain-Burn! I’m Flare.” I introduced myself with my hoof out.

Braeburn began to chuckle as he shook my hoof. “Brain-Burn, that’s funny. Nice to meet ya Glare.”

“A pony that shares my sense of humor! I like that!” I said as I shook his hoof back. Yeah I was pretty pathetic back then, wasn’t I? I had to learn the hard way that not everypony is like Braeburn here because the folks I was playing cards with kicked me out of the game because of the insecure jokes I’ve been telling them, and not to mention the bartender kicked me out because I kept telling the customers to stop having salt in sake of their blood pressure, but I was only trying to save them from that. Also before I met Braeburn when I was talking about the horse-drawn carriages, I installed some jet rockets on the horse-drawn carriages so the rider would have more fun, but I guess I was wrong about that. Yes these jet rockets were the exact same jet rockets as I used to help get my trailer out of the junkyard back in Mareami. Oh that reminds me; I also put the parking boot on one of the carriage wheels, which was one of the reasons why the jet rocket carriage trick failed.

So as Braeburn got a new cart and brought it to me, I helped him put the piled apples onto the cart so it’ll be like I haven’t broken his cart in the first place. “There you go, Bray! I hope you bought yourself a more stable cart this time.” Just then the cart breaks.

“No ah didn’t.” Braeburn said.

“Here let me help you out with something. Wait here.” I instructed him as I went over to the cart stand to get more carts. I bought two carts over to Braeburn and I put half the apples in one cart and half the apples in the other. “There we go, Bray! Now each of us gets to pull a cart. No need for hassle, no need for overweight cart breaking.”

“Much obliged, Flare!” Braeburn said.

“I’m only doing what I think is right, brah. I still have much to learn.” I said.

“We all do.” Braeburn said. “Now then, now that there’s less apples on this weight limited cart, ah can finally let my 500 pound ma take a ride.”

Just then, Braeburn’s 500 pound mom suddenly jumps onto Braeburn’s and yells in a very deep voice, “YAY!”

“Ah love mah ma.” Braeburn said.

“Can she cook up some delicious treats?” I asked him.

“Y’all would love her sweet apple tarts!” Braeburn said.

“I love your ma too, Braeburn.” I nodded.

“Ew, keep yer personal feelings to yerself, partner.” Braeburn commented. So Braeburn and I went over to the Appleloosa general store to drop off the apples and Braeburn collected his payment for them. “Here’s yer cut.” he offered.

“Oh no thanks, I don’t want a cut.” I refused.

“You sure?” Braeburn asked.

“Yes, but thank you for your offer.” I nodded.

“Not a problem, partner.” Braeburn said as he places the bits in his pocket. “Ah thought ya would’ve loved a little money in yer pocket.”

“Oh… so that’s what cut means?” I asked. “Oh I should’ve accepted it. I thought you were going to cut me with a knife or something?”

“So then, Flare, ah see yer new to town.” Braeburn said.

“Uhh, no, what made you think that?” I teased.

Braeburn chuckled a bit. “Ah like you, Flare. Where do ya come from?”

“I’m from Mareami.” I said.

"Well darn tootin!" Braeburn said excitedly. "Ah have a cousin that live over there in Mareami. Applebees is her name. She owns a popular restaurant-chain.”

“I met her before.” I said.

“Really? Cool! Well any friend of a relative is a friend of mine. Yer gonna love AAAAAAPPLELOOSA!” Braeburn cried out.

“Thanks, but I’m not going to be staying here for long.” I said.

“Oh… ah see.” Braeburn said upsettingly.

“No don’t take it like that. I’m just passing through. I need to go to Ponyville. I’ve had so many friendship issues back at home, and I heard those who hold the Elements of Harmony can help me redeem myself.” I explained. “I need friends, Braeburn. I mean, I know you and I get along great, but to be honest, this town doesn’t have a Cheesecake Factory, and I’m a bit upset about that.”

“It’s cool, partner.” Braeburn said. “Ah realize what yer goin’ through. Yer gonna love Ponyville! Ah have three cousins that live there, as well as mah granny.”

“Is your granny included in the cousins category?” I teased.

“Heh! Good one.” Braeburn chuckled.

“But I’m not going to be leaving here right away.” I admitted. “I’ve had such a long trip and I’m lost. I just want to settle down here for just a few days, and perhaps some directions to Ponyville.”

“Well, Appleloosa would be glad to help out, partner.” Braeburn said. “Please stay as long as ya need, but be aware that we do have buffalo friends here.”

“Buffalos don’t bother me as long as they’re nice.” I said.

Braeburn chuckles a bit. “Trust me, they’re friendly. They weren’t always friendly but we did settle our differences.”

“Actually… you weren’t the friendly ones and we settled our differences then.” A buffalo corrected him.

Braeburn sighs. “Really, Samuel, how many times we gonna argue ‘bout this?”

“Just stating the facts.” Samuel said.

“It doesn’t matter to me.” I said.

“It matters to me.” Samuel said.

“Thank you, Samuel.” Braeburn said in an irritated tone.

“No, Braeburn, thank you.” Samuel argued with him as he stampedes away back to his herd.

“Sorry ‘bout him.” Braeburn said to me.

"This place is very interesting, brah.” I said. “Y’know, I've always wanted to do a little western duel! I just stand over here looking badplot, just staring at my opponent while the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly theme song plays in the background, and then like what Heavy Weapons Guy does... POW, HA HA!" I startled Braeburn after I said that.

"Well, y’all won't find anything like that here." he said.

"Aww. I wanna do a duel!” I whined.

"Well actually, it’s traditional to have a buffalo-pony duel here once in a while, and by traditional, ah mean we just had this idea a couple of weeks ago.” Braeburn said. “But it wouldn’t hurt to have a pony vs. pony duel.”

“Sounds like fun! We should totally do one tonight!” I suggested.

“Well first ah have to get the rest of mah chores done and it sounds like a deal.” Braeburn said.

"Oh I can help you with your work!" I suggested.

"Aw, shucks. That's very kind of you, but... ah couldn't." he said.

"Oh it's no big deal. You’re pretty friendly to me, and that’s rare. You didn’t judge me before you got to know me. I know I have issues with my personality that I need to fix but that’s why I’m moving to Ponyville, to just do that.” I explained.

"Awww that’s very kind.” Braeburn smiled. “Alright ya can help me with mah chores.”

"Aww, do I have to?" I whined.

"What? But.... y’all just asked to help me out." he reminded me.

"Help you out with what?" I asked. We both were silent for a second.

"What are ya talkin’ about again?" Braeburn asked eventually.

"What are YOU talking about?" I asked. He was silent again, but then he chuckled.

"Yer funny, partner. So y’all wanna help a fella out, huh?" he asked.

"Affirmative!" I said.

"Uhh, what does that mean?" he asked after I said that.

"It means 'sure', but in army talk." I said.

"Ooooooh!" he nodded. "Ah had no idea ya were in the army!"

"I'm not. I played alot of army games though." I said.

"Ah see." he nodded.

"So do y’all need help with partner?" I asked.

"Nice accent." he said. "Ah have another batch apples over here that needs to be taken to a delivery carriage on the other side of town. These apples are goin’ to Dodge Junction.”

"Good idea, but why bother?" I asked.

"Beg yer pardon?" he asked.

"Why deliver these apples to a carriage? Why can't the truck just come to the apples so we don't have to carry a bunch of them all the way across town?" I asked.

Braeburn chuckles a bit and places his arm around my neck. “It doesn’t work that way, Flare.”

“Regardless though, I’m glad to help out.” I said as I attached myself on another apple cart filled with apples.

“Glad ya can help!” Braeburn said as he attached himself on the same exact cart I’m attached to. “Ah was gonna let mah sister Apple Fritter help me out, but she says she had ‘other business’ to take care of. Ah have no idea what she means by that.”

“Wait, why are we attached to this same cart?” I asked.

“This cart requires two ponies to pull. Either that or one big strong pony like one of mah cousins in Ponyville.” Braeburn said.

“Well you know apples best, Bray-bum… sorry… I’m not good with tough names.” I admitted. “I mean I once had a classmate by the name of Rimmington Rig-Rig.

“Really?” Braeburn asked.

"Really, really.” I said. “Richest kid in school, and he thought he was better than everypony else. I hate ponies that are like that!"

"Oh, ya should've seen a magician that came here quite some time ago. Great and Powerful Trixie her name was." he said.

"Never heard of her." I said helping Braeburn pull the cart towards the delivery carriage.

"Well she was a bit of a show-off." he said.

"Eww, you mean she's one of those mares from the adult clubs?" I asked.

"Beg yer pardon?” he asked.

"Forget what I said. She's a supermodel?" I asked.

"Oh hay no!" he said. "She was a unicorn magician."

"Oh that doesn't sound so bad." I said.

"But she thinks her magic is better than everypony else's." he said. “We don’t really have any other pony race other than earth ponies here so there’s that too.”

"Oh I don't go to far. I show-off my magic, but only for the lulz." I said.

"Where are y’all from? Yer tellin me garbage ah never heard of before." he said.

"I told you, I'm from Mareami." I said.

"Mareami, right right!" he said at the same time I said Mareami.

"No, no, don't do that. Don't say the last word of my sentence pretending you knew what I was talking about, because you have no clue." I advised him.

"Ah just remembered, sorry!" he complained.

"It's alright." I said. So we arrived at the delivery truck with the cart of apples and we started putting the crates inside.

"Phew! Thanks for the help, Flare!" Braeburn said to me giving me an apple.

"No problemo, Braeburn! This apple looks good, thanks!" I said.

"Ah know! Taste the big, juicy, nice delicious liquid inside that'll go in your mouth and make it wet!" he said.

"Eww, now I don't want it!" I said in a disgusted tone, giving it back to him.

"Oh, alright." he said eating the apple. I gave him a disgusting look after he ate it.

"What? Why ya givin me that look?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh nothing. I just saw a little apple crumb on your lip right there." I said pointing to it.

"Huh? Oh thank ya." he said, wiping his face.

"Hey, mind showing me around this town? Telling me a bit about it?" I asked.

"Well darn tootin!" Braeburn cried. "This is AAAAAAPLELOOSA, the happiest western town in Equestria! You'd love it here, youngster!"

"Youngster? How old do you think I am?” I asked.

“Ah dunno, 24?” Braeburn asked.

“Close, 25.” I corrected him.

“Wow, ya must be old. Ah’m only 4.” Braeburn said.

“Oh wait, we talking in horse years?” I asked.

So Braeburn started showing me around Applelossa, or AAAAAPLELOOSA he calls it; he adds waaaaaay too many A’s to the name. He also told me the history of the town, like the battle when the buffalos attacked the town because their apple orchard was in the way, but that war wouldn’ve started if a certain pink pony didn’t provoke them. Braeburn says she was the true antagonist of that battle, but they all made their peace. After a few hours, during dusk, we were on the cliff edge on one of the canyons and saw the great view of the apple orchard. I was pretty impressed with the view. Can’t find something like this in Mareami.

"Well I'll be a piece of mouse gathering cheese from a mouse trap after he was starving from hunger because the owners of the house hated mice but were allergic to cats so they could only get mouse traps and the cheese that was on the trap was rotten and was actually radishes that looked and smelled like cheese and the radish came from a market that served mostly carrots and shrooms and lawn mowers, and...." I said, but then Braeburn chuckled which cut me off.

"Wow, that's the longest 'well i'll be' phrase ah ever heard!" he said.

"Well I was pretty surprised of this view." I said. "I never seen a view like this. The only views I ever seen was the beach, the streets, and the tall buildings from Downtown. If I'm lucky, I get to see the Ferris wheel or the castle from the Candy Kingdom theme park, or the Terror Tower from the Galatic Studios theme park."

"Mareami seems to be a nice place, Flare." Braeburn said.

"It is. The only problem is, all the ponies there are jerks to me. Talking garbage and making me sad face." I said.

"Ah'm sorry to hear that, partner." he said patting me in the back.

"You know, this seemed to be a very nice town, I really enjoyed it!" I said.

"Why don't ya'll stay here?" he asked. "It's a great place to live!"

"Well don't get me wrong, Bernie. I less then three’d it here! I really did!" I admitted.

“But…” Braeburn wanted to hear me.

“What about butts?” I asked.

“No, ah-“ Braeburn started to chuckle. “Ya sound like a Facebook admin when ya say that. Butts.”

I chuckled along. “I do.”

“But yeah ah understand. Yer destiny in Ponyville.” Braeburn understood.

“Well actually I was going to say its too hot here and there’s snakes and scorpions, but yeah sure, let’s go with that reason!” I nodded and smiled.

"Hey, remember when ya said about that duel ya wanted?" he asked.

"Yeah, why? You wanna do it?" I asked.

"Sure, why not?" he nodded.

"Cooleyo!" I cried in excitement. "I'll go to my trailer, go get my cowcolt outfit, and we can go duel! This is going to be so fun, man!”

“Ah know, partner! It’s gonna be more fun than a tornado in a trailer park!” Braeburn said.

A cutaway shows Braeburn about to throw a frisbee to his friend. “Alright buddy, catch the frisbee and then throw it back at me alright? Here it comes!” So Braeburn throws the Frisbee to his friend who is actually a tornado, so the tornado catches the Frisbee. “Nice catch! Now just throw it back!” Just then a cow gets thrown at Braeburn, and then two stallions in a row boat, and then a witch.

“Hello, my little pretty!” the witch said to Braeburn, and then a house falls right on the witch leaving only her feet out.

“Ok maybe this game isn’t really yer thing, buddy. What kind of game do ya wanna play instead?” Braeburn asked, and then suddenly the tornado throws the game Twister at Braeburn. “Twister huh?”

“Yeah it’s a fun game, if you catch my drift.” The tornado said to him. The cutaway ends.

So I went home to go find my cowboy outfit. Bad news is, I couldn't find it; I have a pile of clothes in my closet and all I can find is my dancing tuxedo, hat, and cane. So I decided to wear that for the duel. Braeburn was waiting for me at the town square along with the rest of the town who wanted to watch.

"Alrighty, Flare! Where are ya? Ah'm ready for ya!" Braeburn yelled.

"I'm right here, Braeburn!" I said, standing across from him, probably 70 feet from him.

He laughed when he saw my tux. "What's goin on, partner? Goin to a dance? That's not yer cowcolt outfit!"

"No, I couldn't find it. I can only find this, but I did find my radio I can plug my Ipod to." I said, taking it out, and turning on the French Mistake song from the movie Blazing Saddles, I danced to the song and sang it. "Throw out your hooves, stick out your toushe, hooves on your hips, get on a bush, you'll be surprised you're doing the French mistake, WA-LA!"

"So what we gonna do, partner? We gonna duel, or we gonna dance?" Braeburn asked.

I gave him a mischievous look. "BOTH!" I said. So then I changed the music to the Good, The Bad, and The Ugly theme song. I got in position, and I just stared at Braeburn mischievously, he did the same to me. The ponies in town just watched us as we were prepared to duel. I was just about to give Braeburn my first move, my SHOOP DA WHOOP. "IMMA FIRIN MAH..." But before I could finish, the duel was interrupted by Sheriff Silverstar.

"Hold yer horses there! Ah'm cancellin this duel!" the sheriff said.

"Aww what?" I complained.

"Sheriff, it's just a play duel. Nopony was gonna get hurt. He was gonna use his magic, and I was gonna use this water, and a couple of apple pies." Braeburn said.

"Sorry Braeburn, but that pony is no longer welcomed here!" he said, pointing to me.

"Didn't your parents tell you it wasn't polite to point, Sheriff?” I asked.

"Don't back talk me mister! Ah’ve had a bunch of complaints about you.” The sheriff said to me. As it turns out I done this town wrong as I spent my time here. Remember when I said I was thrown out of cards and the bar for some of things I did? Well they also reported to the sheriff of what I did. That’s not all though; when I went to give Braeburn some spare carts for the apples he had trouble with, I forgot to pay for those carts, and to make things worse, I insulted the mare at the general store for having nice buns. I dunno why though. I was just complimenting the package of poppy-seeded buns on one of the store shelves.

“Yep, I messed up, just like I always do.” I said in an emotionless tone. “You know, at this point, I’m not even surprised anymore. Maybe I should just head over to Ponyville now.”

“Yeah perhaps that’s for the best, son.” The sheriff said.

“Now hold on, sheriff. We all make mistakes.” Braeburn said. “Flare here was only tryin’ to help. Ah know he kinda aggregated ponies with his jokes, his logic, and his horrible choices, but he’s not perfect. Nopony is. This pony has helped me out with mah chores all day, and to us Apples, that means something. This pony has a mission to go to Ponyville and learn from his mistakes with the help of the Elements of Harmony. Ah know it’s no excuse to do what he did to y’all, but everyone learns from his or her mistakes from time to time. They all do.”

“Braeburn’s right,” the bartender agreed. “but then again, I’m only agreeing because he owns the main source of food in this town.”

“Nuh uh, that’s not the reason why you should be forgiving him.” I said.

“It’s not?” the bartender asked.

“NO! Nopony, not even Swinebutt, has actually stood up for me before.” I said as I placed my hoof on Braeburn’s shoulder. “Bray-bum here- I mean… sorry, I know I had your name right before, but I’m really not good at names.”

“No worries.” Braeburn said.

“This here pony did something that nopony else did. Everypony was always against me, all because of rumors from just one pony.” I said. “I know rumors and gossip are sometimes true judging by the way someone acts, but that’s still no way to believe in that gossip. The only way you can actually know the true personality of one is to actually give them a chance, which is the only thing I ever wanted – a chance. A chance to prove myself that I’m not the idiot everypony seems to think. I do stupid things a lot, and I wish to learn from them, but sometimes… you must dare to be stupid.” Everypony was a little curious on that last thing I said.

“Dare to be stupid?” Braeburn asked.

“Dare to be stupid – Cheese Sandwich, my idol, taught me that.” I said. “He’s the funniest song artist out there, but his music actually means something to me, and I’ll show you why!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMhwddNQSWQ

From my iPod and portable stereo, I turned on an 80s upbeat electro music. I began to dance like a robot and nod my head from corner to corner to the beat of the music, and I began to sing. “Put down your chainsaw and listen to me – it’s time for us to join in the fight – it’s time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys, it’s time to let the bedbugs bite!” As I sang that, a couple of adult stallions were in cribs wearing diapers, bandanas, and cowboy hats, and they took out a revolver out of their diapers, and then at the ‘bedbugs bite’ part showed a live-action stop-motion animation of toy bed bugs inside of a bed.

“You better put your eggs in one basket-“ I sang as I placed a dozen eggs in a basket with a hole underneath. “You better count your chickens before they hatch-“ the eggs that fell underneath the basket all hatched up into chickens, except one who hatched into a duck. “You better sell some wine before its time-“ What I did there was pretty obvious. “You better find yourself an itch to scratch!” a random pony back flips into a flat piece of cardboard on the ground and begins to scratch his back on it.

“You better squeeze all the Charmin you can, when Mr. Wimpole’s not around…” I sang as a couple of trolls (not internet trolls, fantasy trolls) started squeezing a bunch of Charmin toilet paper while sitting at a dining room table, and then a dinosaur wearing an Uncle Sam outfit waves to the camera as he zoops by and the scene changes showing my head inside a microwave oven and spinning around. “Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan!” Braeburn, as he sits on a fence wearing a cowboy outfit, begins to use his bass guitar to provide an instrumental before the next line of the song; and then I start using drum sticks on some feet to provide the electronic beat.

“Talk with your mouth full…” I sang with a mouth full of hayburger and was playing with four paddle balls with my magic. “Bite the hoof that feeds you…” I stuff a whole pie in my mouth. “Bite on more than you can chew…” I stuff a whole shoe box in my mouth. “What can you do? You can-“ a group of ponies then popped out from my mouth and shouted, “Dare to be stupid!”

“Take… some wooden nickels – look… for Mr. Goodbar...” I sang as I threw some wooden nickels in a fireplace and then took out a Mr. Goodbar chocolate bar, and when I opened it up, a live pony with a name tag that says ‘Mr. Goodbar’ pops out as I sing this next part. “Get your mojo working now, what can you do?”

“Dare to be stupid!” Mr. Goodbar and I both shouted.

“You can turn the other cheek…” I sang as a random pony uses a toaster guitar. “You can just give up the SHIP!” I sang with a monitor over my mouth with the exact words on the screen appearing one of at a time, and before the next line, some Poptarts pop out of the toaster guitar the last random pony used. “You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip!” I sang as I did just that, and the sushi chef gets angry and starts yelling as he holds his cleaves in the air.

“Dare to be stupid!” me and three other random ponies sang as we were standing in a row, looking north-west and then sticking some ice cream comes on our foreheads like unicorn horns. “Come on and dare to be stupid!” we sang again.

“It’s all easy to do!” I sang as a couple of greeks started playing chess and a shadow of a dinosaur appears in the background.

“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.

“We’re all waiting for yooooou!” I sang. “LET’S GO!” The electro instrumental beat started playing in the background again as a stop-motion of me walking through a weird looking and colorful city (something you’d see if you overdosed). Oh and I also had a bucket on my head and I wore a yellow jumpsuit. In fact I wore a yellow jumpsuit since I first started singing this.

“It’s time to make a mountain out of a mole hill so can I have a decider?” I sang, and I don’t need to mention what I did. “There’s no more time for crying over spilled milk, now it’s time for crying in cider! Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA – buy some sensible shoes at the Chevyrolet – and party ‘till you’re broke and they drive you away – it’s ok… you can dare to be stupid! It’s like spitting on a fish… it’s like barking up a tree…” I barfed up a whole tree after I sang that. “It’s like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get free!” I sang as I popped my head out of a bucket of popcorn.

“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.

“Yeah!” an evil mastermind of me sang as I lit a made some celery out of Apple Fritter’s hair and then lit a pile of tires on fire.

“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.

“It’s so easy to do!” I sang as I flipped some pancakes on a grill that turned out to be the burning tires.

“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.

“We’re all waiting for you!” I sang as I squirted ketchup on the tire pancakes.

“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.

“Burn your candle at both sides…” I sang as I played my accordion while drinking chocolate milk. “Look a gift horse in the mouth…” I sang as I coughed up a wrapped up present. “Mashed potatoes can be your friends!” I sang as I popped my head out of a pot of mashed potatoes, and then after I sang that, the pot cap gets shut right on top of me. After singing all that, Braeburn continues sitting on the fence and playing his bass guitar while a cardboard cow walks by behind him and a Mexican restaurant cactus lights up behind him.

“You can be a coffee achiever – you can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver…” I sang as the trolls from before started hoping on their couch and watched Leave It To Beaver on TV. “The future’s up to you, so whatcha gonna do?” the cardboard dancer that was scratching himself on the cardboard started spinning around on the cardboard.

“Dare to be stupid! Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.

“What did I say?” I sang.

“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.

“Tell me WHAT did I say?”

“Dare to be stupid!”

“It’s alright!”

“Dare to be stupid!”

“We can be stupid all night!”

“Dare to be stupid!”

“Come on join the crowd!”

“Dare to be stupid!”

“Shout it out loud!” I sang.

“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.

“I can’t hear you!”

“Dare to be stupid!”

“Ok I can hear you now!”

“Dare to be stupid!” just then, in a pattern between me and everypony in town started saying ‘dare to be stupid’ a few more times before the song finally ended. Everypony in Appleloosa except for the sheriff began to cheer. I must say, I felt pretty good for myself. Thank you, Cheese Sandwich, for your inspiration!

“It’s true, it’s so true!” one of the ponies in the crowd said.

“Cheese Sandwich was sure an inspiration to you to know all those lyrics like that!” another pony from the crowd said.

“Well if you want to call him up. He’ll throw you a mean party here in town!” I suggested.

“We should do exactly that one day!” Chief Thunderhooves agreed.

“Thank you for that inspiration, Mr…” Little Strongheart said but stopped herself because she didn’t know my name.

“Just call me… Flare Gun! Praise the Wizards!” I shouted.

“Well you’re still not welcomed here.” Sheriff Silverstar said to me.

“But Sheriff!” Braeburn tried to reason with him.

“I’m in charge here, Braeburn. Remember that.” the sheriff reminded him.

“But, Sheriff, I… I sang for you all, and that has to mean something!” I begged.

“Yeah it means you just wasted everypony’s time. Now leave this town before I arrest you.” The sheriff demanded.

“Sheriff…” Braeburn said.

“THAT’S AN ORDER!” the sheriff yelled at me.

“Braeburn… c’mon! I got your name right so you should help me!” I begged.

“Ah’m sorry, Flare Gun, but Sheriff Silverstar runs this town. At least until we’re bright enough to actually elect a mayor, he makes the rules.” Braeburn said.

I felt so hurt. Just because one pony doesn’t like me, everyone has to agree with him. It didn’t feel fair to me. “So that’s it huh?!” I yelled. “All of you going to just listen to one pony! Just because one pony that’s actually in charge, or even popular, doesn’t like me, that automaticly means ALL OF YOU WON’T LIKE ME?!”

“It’s not like that though, partner.” Braeburn said.

“NO! It’s exactly like that! Just because he’s your leader doesn’t actually mean you have to listen to him all the time!” I yelled. “Do what you think is right!”

“In this case, Crimson… the rules ARE right!” the sheriff said.

“Wait what did he say?” Apple Fritter asked.

“FINE! BE THAT WAY!” I yelled. “You all are the same! ALL OF YOU! "YOU KNOW WHAT?! WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?! I LEFT MAREAMI FOR A REASON: TO MAKE FRIENDS! AND EVERYWHERE I GO, ALL I GET IS GARBAGE TALK FROM EVERYPONY I MEET! MAYBE I SHOULDN'T EVEN MOVE TO PONYVILLE! WILL THEY ACCEPT ME?! NO OF COURSE NOT! MAYBE I SHOULD MOVE MY TRAILER SOMEWHERE WHERE I COULD BE ALONE! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?! HUH?!" The townfolk just stared at me in shock. I just started to cry again and then I attached myself to my trailer, and I started running as fast I could; although, my trailer was going pretty slow as I continued crying and running. As I was running and weeping, I was actually digging a hole with my fast hooves. I realized I was in sand, not asphalt, so I ran again but not as fast. After a while, I left town and I never looked back. Back in town, Braeburn glared at the sheriff.

"Satisfied with yerself?" Braeburn asked him.

"It was for the best, Braeburn. We needed to keep our code." the Sheriff said. “Those who break the law of our town shall be thrown out or arrested.”

"So that means ya have to break the code of makin this the happiest place on Earth? Ya'll know nothin about friendship!" Braeburn said.

"What about dem buffalos that were here earlier?" the sheriff asked.

"Besides then, y’all know nothin about accepting others! Ah feel sorry for that pony, and ah'm gonna do something about this, so when he gets to Ponyville, he'll be the happiest stallion ever." Braeburn yelled, walking away. The town folk just glared at the sheriff for what he did, and they all went back inside their homes. The Sheriff just stood there angry, but then after a few seconds, he realized what he did, so he sadly looked down, and then back up at a blinking yellow traffic light. Yep, that there was a Cars reference.

“All this pain for just small change?” Sheriff Silverstar asked himself.

“You did what you thought was right, Sheriff.” A random pony patted the sheriff on the back and comforted him. “You do what you are told to earn this loot.”

“But why though? How can greed get into mah head like this?” the sheriff asked.

“My boss is a very powerful pony, sheriff.” The pony associate said to the sheriff. “Unless you want this town to suffer the same fate as Crimson Flare Gun.”

The sheriff sighed. “Yer right. Ah must protect this town at all cost. Tell yer boss he has nothin’ to worry about. He’s gone, and he’s probably givin’ up now.”

“Good. Thank you for your business, Sheriff Silverstar.” The associate said as he held his hoof out so the sheriff can shake it. The sheriff just smacked his hoof away and just walked back over to his office. “Fine, be that way. At least mission accomplished.

“Or is it?” a voice in the background asked as an apple pie gets splattered on the associate’s face.

“What in the world?” the associate asked, but before he was able to wipe the pie mess out of his face, he gets kicked in the face by a random pony and falls on the ground. “AAAH! What the hay?!”

“Your boss may be a powerful pony but he still must obey the laws of Equestria.” The voice said.

“Who… who are you?” the associate asked.

Just then, out of the shadows, Apple Fritter shows up and glares at him. “Ah am a reprehensive of the FDA, and you are under arrest.”

“FDA?” the associate asked.

“Oh, what mah boy Jerry is gonna do to scum like you.” Apple Fritter said mischievously at the associate.

“What gave me away?” the associate asked.

“How did Sheriff Silverstar know Flare’s first name – Crimson?” Apple Fritter asked.

“Oh… right.” The associate understood.

“Time to make sure you and yer boss lose trace of Flare. He must get the peaceful life he deserves.” Apple Fritter said. I had no idea what was going on back there. I had no idea that Sheriff Silverstar actually sold me out to whoever was trying to ruin my reputation at Appleloosa. Also, FDA? What does that stand for? Perhaps we’ll find that out sometime in the future, but for now, my sorrow.

So, I ran miles away from Applelossa with my trailer. I just kept running, not looking where I was going, so yeah I ran into a couple of cacti, but I didn’t care. No physical pain can top the mental pain I have. Just then suddenly, I ended up on the top of a canyon. It was a dead end once I reached the cliff edge. I detached myself from my trailer, and I laid near the cliff edge where I continued to sob. After a little while, I looked up into the moon.

"Hey, at least you're happy!" I yelled at the moon. "Me? I can never find happiness or friendship. Happiest town on Earth, my flank!" I threw a rock down the cliff, and I screamed. "HOW?! HOW CAN I FIND THE RESPECT I DESERVE!? I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS! I NEVER ASKED TO BE THIS WAY! Why can't ponies ever accept me for who I am? But at the same time, how can I be a better pony?! How can I be a good friend?! I cannot do it alone! Who will help me?! Ponies these days are a bunch of jerks! I give up! I'm just gonna move in exile, and I won't have to worry about friendship ever again! No more suffering!" For a few minutes, I just laid there, wept some more, but then I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't care, they can steal everything, kill me for that matter! End my misery.

"If you're gonna kill me then just do it! I have no reason left to go on!" I said.

"You know, Flare Gun, I was just like you once." a familiar voice said.

"Huh? How did you know my name? Who in the Wizard of Feelings are you?" I asked, but then I looked, and I saw it was Princess Luna behind me. "Oh, your highness!" I bowed to her. "Princess Luna! My apologies! I didn't see you!"

"Its okay, Flare Gun, it's okay." she said.

"It is?" I asked.

"Of course!" she said.

“No it’s not, you’re lying.” I said.

“Ok yes, I am lying, it is not ok, but that’s beside the point.” Luna said.

"Why are you here?" I asked. "It's my destiny to be forever alone. I'm gonna make up a forever alone meme mask to wear on my face."

"Flare Gun, please sit down, and listen to me." Luna said.

"I'm already sitting." I said.

"Then just listen." she said and put her arm around me, and leanedose to her. "I've been through where you are today. When I was Nightmare Moon, nopony liked me, everypony ignored me, everypony thought I was evil. When I was banished in the moon, everypony either forgotten about me or thought I was evil. But there was one pony that didn't think I was evil. One pony thought I was their best friend, even at a time I didn't deserve it. You know who that particular pony was?"

"Celestia?" I asked.

"No." she said.

"The Wonderbolts?" I asked.

"Try again." she said.

"John Williams?" I asked.

"Who?" she asked.

"The pony who makes the Star Wars music." I said.

"Oh. No. Give up?" she asked.

"Sigh. Fine, who?" I asked.

"It was you!" she said, poking me in the nose.

"Me? How can it be me? I never met you!" I asked. “Plus I’m sure there were more.”

“Yes there were more; even some more interesting than you, no offense.” Luna said.

“None taken.” I said. “I’ve seen the Snowdrops story and nothing can beat her.”

"I thought I was alone for all time; I thought I didn't have everypony." Luna said. "I look down in the ponies in Equestria, so jealous, seeing they all get along down there, leaving me alone up here. I cried myself to sleep every night because of that. But then I saw one pony down at Mareami beach, one that was.... actually talking to me!" Luna started tearing up a bit. "It really made me happy to see that one pony actually cares about me, one that actually felt how I felt. It wasn't easy being alone, Flare Gun. You and I share this common matter, and I'll never forget it."

"Are you just saying this because you feel sorry for me?" I asked.

"No, not just that! I actually enjoyed you talking to me. You're telling me all these interesting stories, and walkthroughs of your video games, and.... umm.... cooking with your grandmother!" Luna said.

"Yeah.... that's true." I said.

“But I didn’t like that joke you said about you being able to see my ‘full-moon’.” Luna said.

“Heh, sorry ‘bout that.” I chuckled.

"Flare Gun, you've made me happy these last couple of decades I was gone, and I really want to return the favor." Luna said.

"Oh yeah?” I asked.

"Indeed. I'll change your luck. You'll see! You're going to Ponyville, and everypony will welcome you there, and be your friend!" Luna said.

"Perhaps. I don't know how that's gonna work, Luna." I said.

"Trust me, Flare Gun. I know what I'm doing." she said, smiling at me.

“Ok I don’t like being called by my full name that much, just to let you know.” I said.

“Sorry, it’s my duty as a princess to call pony’s by their full names. I’ll do my best to remember, but I cannot guarantee that all the time.” Luna admitted.

“No matter.” I shrugged. “Better calling me that then Crimson.”

“Come, Flare. Destiny awaits.” Luna said as she began to use her magic.

“Luna? Luna what are you doing?” I asked. By the looks of Luna’s magic, she was about to do something really big, and I was prepared for anything. Just then, Luna used her magic to just create a small paper map and gave it to me.

“There you go. I heard you were lost, so I gave you this map to help you get to Ponyville.” Luna said.

“Ok, but which way should I go? I don’t wanna take I-95, the roads are too curvy there.” I said as I observed the map.

“Yeah I don’t recommend that way either. I suggest taking the Turnpike over to Las Pegasus.” Luna instructed me.

“The Turnpike doesn’t go all the way there?” I asked.

“No, you’ll have to take Route 25 to get there the rest of the way.” Luna pointed out. “Also if it’s nearing 6 PM, I recommend waiting to avoid traffic because traffic is pretty hectic.”

“Can I just take I-75?” I asked.

“You could, but that’ll take a lot longer.” Luna said.

“But I-75 has less toll booths than the Turnpike. Turnpike has like… I dunno… seven toll booths from here to Las Pegasus.” I said.

“Do you have the E-Pass?” Luna asked.

“No all I have is Sun Pass, and that only works around Southern Equestria.” I said.

Luna sighs. “Alright, you know what? I was actually feeling pretty tired today, but since I’m really desperate to repay the favor, how about I just teleport you there?” she suggested.

“How loud would it be?” I asked. “I mean it’s the middle of the night right now. Aren’t ponies sleeping?”

“How about I teleport you to the edge of Everfree Forest and you can just walk the rest of the way?” Luna suggested.

“That includes my trailer too, right?” I asked.

“Yes, of course.” Luna said.

“And everything in it?” I asked.

“Yes.” Luna said.

“Are my fish going to be ok though? Because if not, I don’t want to risk it.” I asked.

“I guarantee you that they won’t die.” Luna said.

“That’s it?” I asked.

“Well teleportation does take a bit of motion sickness.” Luna said.

“Can you get me some free medication for them at least?” I asked.

“Here’s an all-cure.” Luna hooves me over a vial filled with the cure.

“This vial has a skull on it.” I said.

“Just don’t pour the whole thing in. Only a drop will do.” Luna said.

“I’m clumsy.” I said.

“I’ll help you when we get there.” Luna said.

“Alright.” I said.

“Do you have any more questions before we go?” Luna asked.

“No, that should cover it.” I said.

“Ok, let’s do this.” Luna said as she activates her epic magic again and a vortex appears over our head. Luna, me, and my trailer all get sucked into the vortex and we start riding through space faster than the speed of a pencil dropping from a desk, and eventually we all ended up right at Ponyville entrance to Everfree Forest.

“Woo! That was a fun ride, Luna! Is there anywhere I can find the snapshot of my face?" I asked.

"It wasn't a theme park ride, Flare Gun, it was a spell." Luna said.

"I know, but it wouldn't hurt to have a picture." I said and shrugged. "Oh well. Thanks for everything Luna!"

"Don't just thank me, thank Braeburn of Appleloosa. He notified me." she said.

"Oh... well then. I guess I do have some trusted friends after all! You can't imagine how happy I am now." I said happily.

"You'll do great, Flare! Ponyville will be your new home now. You will make lots of new friends, build your new business here, and you'll even..... spread your dolls!" Luna said.

"Yes! Wait, spread your dolls?" I asked.

"Don't you say that all the time? Spread your dolls?" she asked.

"Its spread the LULZ, not spread your dolls. I don't own dolls." I said.

"You sleep teddy bears every night." she said.

"They're not dolls, they're action figures!" I yelled.

Luna giggled. "Of course, how silly of me! So I'll go get the ponies in town ready for you, then head on in tomorrow morning!" And so, I was happy. After this, this leads to chapter 1 of Friendship is Epic in Book 1, which explains what happens next. Flashback ends.

"And that's the story of my entire life.” I said.

“Now that story was much bigger than the one I said when I moved into Ponyville.” Spike said.

"That was certainly something, Flare! Ah didn't know ya knew mah cousins before ya moved here." AppleJack said.

The CMCs laughed. "Ah liked the story; it made me laugh a couple of times!" Apple Bloom said.

"Your bullies looked like they were far worse than ours!" Scootaloo said.

"Who are your bullies?" I asked them.

"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon." Scootaloo said.

"Seriously? They seemed pretty nice to me." I said.

"Wow, that was a great story Flare! Maybe I should tell it as a bedtime story for my animals." Fluttershy suggested. "Well, if that's...."

"You don't even need to ask, Flutters. I didn't make the story copyrighted." I said.

"Oh good!" Fluttershy said.

I looked at my phone to see the time. "Whoa, is that time already? Well, closing time!" I said. "EVERYPONY OUT!"

"Aww." the CMCs whined.

"Hey, come back tomorrow, I'll tell ya the story of what happened when I moved to Ponyville! It’s a pretty big story. Probably 30 chapters long." I said. The CMCs all cheered and ran out of the shop. Later the night, I walked back home and went into my trailer and looked at all my pictures about my time in Ponyville. I saw some pictures of me with the Noble Six, partying with Pinkie Pie, playing games with Spike, me pranking Rarity by wrinkling all her dresses, and even a silly group picture with me and all my friends. Suddenly, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Flare? You home?" Twilight asked on the other side.

"Ehh, no, no, Miser Flare no home." I said in Consuela's voice.

"Flare, I strongly respect your privacy by knocking, but I have the authority as your friend by coming in anyway!" Twilight knocks down my bedroom door with a giant Colum.

"Aw c'mon Twilight, you're the least I would expect that from!" I complained.

"Sorry, Flare!" she said and giggled. "But I thought it might amuse you."

"Well it did, but you have to pay for a new door." I said.

"It's a good thing I came prepared!" Twilight said using her magic to fix the door.

"How did you get in anyway? I didn't add you to my security system." I said.

"Spike helped me in." Twilight said.

"Hi!" Spike said, riding on Twilight's back.

"Sup bro?" I said. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Well, when you told your story to us earlier today, it really taught me a valuable lesson about friendship." she said.

"Oh it did, did it?" I said.

"Yes it did. I learned that even though a pony maybe annoying, or somewhat random, and you may think they could be a jerk, it doesn't really mean they are. You should get to know a pony before you judge them, maybe you thought wrong of them." Twilight said.

"Yeah try saying that to ponies back home, they know nothing about friendship. Just because you may not think a pony is cool, just give them a fair chance, I mean like seriously actually." I said.

"You're a good friend, Flare, and don't you forget it." Twilight said giving me a hug.

"That really means alot, Twilight, it really does." I said. "You know, maybe I should take you out to dinner, my treat!"

"That sounds wonderful, Flare! Thank you!" she said.

"No problemo, sista!" I said as the three of us all walked out of my trailer. Well… actually, two of us since Spike was- you know. As I walked out, I took one final look on the C logo on my trailer. I still don’t know where that came from, but I hope one day to find out.

As the three of us headed out, a random pony sticks one of his hooves on my trailer door before it closes and he steps inside. “Heh! I’m in! The boss is gonna be so pleased when he finds out- AAAAH!” but before the associate could say anything else, he was suddenly tazed by Merry May, and the associate collapses on the ground and passes out.

Merry May takes out her phone and dials a number. “Hello, Jerry? Yeah this is Merry May. How’s night club business going on with the popular Elusive? Ok, everything is cool here. Yeah… yeah I just caught another one of the mysterious doctor’s goons. Yeah, same story every time. Don’t worry, either the FDA or our friends in the Friendship Mafia will be able to get to the bottom on who this mysterious doctor is, but first, one of the capos of the Friendship Mafia is having fatherly issues, y’know what I’m saying? Well I have to arrest this goon before he wakes up. See you back in HQ, Jer!” Merry May then hangs up.

Well, now you know the backstory of my life in complete detail. I hope you found it inspiring enough, if not, well… I won’t blame ya. To completely understand is if you have had the same troubles I’ve been having, but don’t give up, my friends. You are perfect the way you are, and nobody will be stop you! Dare to be unique, dare to be friendly, dare to be stupid!

Cell Buddies

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Today I decided to take the day off from work, but this time my friends and I didn’t do TTT again; we went to the Ponyville spa to just ease our stress and relax. We were having such a relaxing time. Wait, where we? Noooo, we were having a rough time, no relaxing, EXTREME! Sarcasm for the win! Crystal and Blaze were in the hot tub, Aqua was lying down with paste on his face and cucumbers on his eyes, and Engineer was in the tanning salon. What's the deal with the tanning salon anyway? Is sweating that good? Is it healthy? Oh, and me? I was in the mud baths. While we were relaxing, we talked.

"Ah, so relaxing! Can't think of a better relaxation than this!" Blaze said.

“Really Blaze? You can’t find a more original way to start a conversation than to just talk about how relaxin’ this spa is?” Engie asked.

“It’s just a common conversation starter for spas, relax Engie. No pun intended.” Blaze said. "Hey Aqua, it was a good idea having a day at the spa."

"Hey ya know me. All work and no play makes Aquatic a very dry pony, and trust me, I don't like to be dry." Aqua said.

"Amen to that." Crystal said.

"Here's your strawberry daiquiri, Miss Iceblast." the blue spa pony known as Lotus Blossm said to Crystal, serving her a strawberry daiquiri on a tray. No there was no glass, it was just the tray (sarcasm).

"Thank you." Crystal said as she took the drink and drank it, but then spit it out. "This drink is too cold!"

"Umm, it's suppose to be cold." Lotus Blossm reminded her.

"Oh really? I thought it was supposed to be chocolatey?" Crystal asked.

"If she don't want it, ah'll have it." Engie said.

"Oh yeah right, Engie, it's gonna melt the same second it goes inside that room." Blaze said.

"Ah shoot, of course not!" Engie said. "C'mon sweetheart, gimmie dat daiquiri!" the spa pony brings the drink into the salon where he is.

"Here you go, Mr. Engineer." Lotus Blossm said to him, serving him the drink instead.

"Much obliged, partner." Engie said taking the drink and sipping it and then spitting it out. "Nope, it's still cold. Ah didn’t know it was gonna be THAT cold!”

"How could it still be cold? That room is as hot as the sun!" Blaze said.

"Actually, ah had them lower the temperature in this room. It was too much heat, so ah decided to cool down the room a bit." Engie said.

"Oh yeah right. Let me feel that room." Blaze said as he flew out of the hot tub and went inside the sauna. "What in Celestia's name? It's freezing in here!"

"Y’all were just in water, of course it would be freezin for you, Blaze." Engie pointed out.

"This is a tanning salon; it’s supposed to be hot, not cold!" Blaze complained.

"Actually, this isn't the tanning salon, this is the freezer." Aloe, the pink spa pony, said. "That's the tanning salon!" She pointed to the room next to the freezer.

"Why are you in the freezer?" Blaze asked.

"To cool down, it's hot outside!" Engie said.

"But it's 50 degrees outside! It's November!" Blaze said. "Rainbow said we're expecting snowfall in a few days."

"Look, why don't ya relax?" Aqua suggested. "Trust me, ya won't regret it."

"That's what you said when you got me to eat that hot dog in the trash can." Crystal said.

"No, I said NOT to eat that hot dog in that trash can." Aqua reminded her.

"Still, you said 'you won't regret it'." Crystal said.

“I meant that in NOT eating it. Then that night ya got sick." Aqua reminded her.

"Well who's fault is that?" Crystal asked.

"Ya fault." Aqua said.

"No, it's the fault of the pony who threw out that hot dog in the first place! Who would throw away a nice juicy carrot wiener?" Crystal asked. "And why are our hot dogs made out of carrots?” Suddenly, my friend Psyche just bursted inside the spa and walked inside dragging his front hooves in exhaustion. "Where have you been, Psyche?" Crystal asked.

"Sorry I'm late; my boss really wanted me to get this report done. It wasn't easy, but I'm finally finished." Psyche said.

"It's a good thing too. Relax, mate. Lay down, let the spa ponies take care of ya." Aqua said.

“Yeah I know what to do, genius!” Psyche said angrily at him.

“Oh… sorry.” Aqua said.

“No, I’m sorry, Aqua, I’m just in bad mood from the exhaustion. You’re right I need to relax.” Psyche said. Aloe and Lotus helped Psyche down on a massage table so they can massage him. "Oh yeah, I really needed this!" he said.

"We all did, Psyche. We all did." Engie said.

"Hey where's Flare?" Psyche asked.

"Here I am!" I said, sticking my head out of the mud bath, with my face covered in mud, and I was wearing goggles.

"Oh there you are!" Psyche said.

"Yeah here I am!" I said. "Rarity confused me the first time I saw her in a mud bath. She hates mud outside, but she likes the mud here. It doesn't really add up."

"It's because of the formula and temperature that's inside the mud, which is good for ya body." Aqua said.

"Ah saw Rarity the other day, and she said she has a giant rat livin’ under her sink." Engie said.

"Whoa, really?" Crystal asked.

"Yeah, she wanted me to use my repellent to kill the rat." Engie said.

"Awww, that's not nice. That's killing a living thing!" I said. "I wouldn't even kill a fly, or an ant."

"Good job, Flare! You know what you're doing!" Crystal said.

"What are you crazy? You know how annoying those fly's are? And don't get me started on the ants!" Blaze said. "I had a picnic with Rainbow, and after we went kite flying, the ants just ate up all our food! Just like that! All our food!

"Teaches ya to cover your food, eh Blaze?" Crystal teased him and giggled.

"Yeah it sure does." Blaze said.

"Eh Psyche, so what was yer report about?" Engie asked him.

"Well my boss needed the report on-OW! Careful!" Psyche advised to the pony who was massaging him.

"Sorry about that, Mr. Illusion." Aloe said with a smile.

"So my report is about the-oh lower-I saw a new type of star pattern that made the shape of an office plant, so- not that low, a little higher- so my boss needed the report on that new star pattern; it needs a name, and I have to fill out the concordance for that pattern. Plus I need to-Oooh right there, thanks- plus I need to get better telescope because by the looks of those stars, it may be something else." Psyche explained.

"Maybe they're airplanes." Crystal said.

"No they weren't planes; I know that for a fact." Psyche said. "If they were planes then my telescoped would've had a visual on them, and the computer didn't really have any readings of there being planes in space."

"Oh that should totally be a movie: Planes in Space!" I said.

"Sounds like an awesome movie, Flare." Aqua said.

"Yeah for sure! It should be about two ponies who got hitched, and were about to go on their honeymoon in Germaney." I explained. "So the new newly wedded couple take a plane over there with a bunch of other passengers, but the pilot was actually an alien, and the plane gets caught in a UFO trapper beam, so the passengers got captured by the aliens, but some passengers, including the couple take the plane out into space so they can escape the aliens, but they know that some passengers were left behind, and the husband's nightmares get them to go back, but what they didn't know is that there was an alien already on their plane, there's a bomb on the plane, they defuse it of course, then they go back to the UFO, rescue the rest of the passengers, take over the UFO, but then they can't control it so they go to the alien's homeworld. They get captured, and after they think all hope is lost, they escape, defeat their leader, and before they take the plane back to Earth, the couple decide to honeymoon in that alien world instead, plus did yoohoo, the end."

“They did yoohoo?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah, they were having fun by jumping on an alien bed and drinking Yoohoo while they were at it. That’s what I’m going to do with my wife on my honeymoon. I just hope the ceiling isn’t too low.” I said.

"Wow, you just thought of that story just now?" Blaze asked.

“Yeah sure, let’s go with it.” I said as I closed my laptop and set it aside.

Suddenly, we all hear a cell phone ringtone go off, but not one that repeats; it was a quick one, so it had to be text message. "Uh, what's that noise?" Aqua asked.

"My phone, I got a text message." Psyche said taking out his phone.

“Is that yer marefriend, Psyche?” Engie teased.

“Engie, you’re 26 years old and you live with your mom.” Psyche got back at him.

“Oooooooh burn….. and snap!” Crystal said.

"Oh you're kidding right?” Psyche complained as he looked at his phone.

“Of ah was kiddin’. Psyche is forever alone.” Engie teased.

“Ok that’s takin’ it too far, Engie.” Aqua said.

“Sorry guys, my boss wants me to go back to the observatory and write a report on an asteroid that hit..." Psyche started.

"Uranus? Did the asteroid hit Uranus?" Crystal asked and giggled.

Psyche gave Crystal a face. "No. It hit Pluto."

"Oh it hit Mickey Mouse's dog? Aw poor dear." Crystal said. “I know how it feels.”

A cutaway shows Pluto the planet complaining, “No, you have no idea how I feel! I used to be a planet! Now they demoted me! How do you think I feel about it, huh?! And now asteroid had to hit me! Can my life get any worse?! Oh yeah… it can! They made a Fairly Odd Parents episode of ME out all planets being blown up! So you all have NO idea how I feel!”

“Pluto, if it makes you feel any better, you wanna switch places again?” Neptune asked.

“Don’t talk to me, Neptune.” Pluto said angrily at the blue planet. “They named you after a sea-god, and they named me out of a cartoon dog!”

“At least no one makes dirty jokes out of your name.” Uranus reminded Pluto. The cutaway ends.

"Sorry I have to cut this short. My boss really can't give me a break. I've been working for weeks without a break!" Psyche complained.

"Then tell yer boss ya don't wanna do it, you'll do it later. Simple is that." Engie suggested.

"It’s not that simple, Engie. My boss is a very strict pony. One tardy got me on probation! If this is tardy, I might get fired!" Psyche said. "And you know much I need the money."

"No, but we know how much you need to relax, man." Blaze said. “I didn’t even want to be here at first, but after Aqua explained that we need to relax to get the stress down, you’ll need this.”

"Sorry, but relaxing is just gonna have to wait. Cya later." Psyche said as he walked out of the spa, but he hit the wall on his way out.

“Ah was just gonna say ‘don’t let the door hit ya on the way out’, but… umm… ah guess the wall will do.” Engie said.

"See? Look how tired you are, brah!" I said.

"I'm not tired!" Psyche yelled, and as he was about to walk out, he hit the wall on the other side of the door.

"Yep, tired." I said

"Shut up!" Psyche yelled and was about to walk out again.

"LOOK OUT! WALL!" I yelled as the door shut on Psyche's face. I just lawled so hard after that! Psyche glared at me, then he trotted away. “I’m sorry, Psyche, that was funny!”

"You know? It would always seem that Psyche never has time for fun." Crystal said.

"Oh ya know how busy he could be." Aqua said.

"Everypony needs a chance to relax, brahs, even Psyche, and he stinks." I said.

"But instead, he has to write reports about giant rocks that hit Uranus." Crystal said.

"Pluto, Crystal, not Uranus." Blaze corrected her.

Crystal started to laugh. "HA! I got you to say it, Blaze!" Blaze gave himself a facehoof after she said that.

"I'm gonna give Psyche's boss a call, and Psyche's going on vacation." I said.

"Ya heard 'em. His boss is strict!" Engie said.

"I think Twilight can help me out. She knows a memory control spell, but she never uses it since its dark magic, but she's been studying dark magic ever since she got back from the Crystal Empire." I said.

"Are ya sure that Twilight will help ya out here?" Aqua asked.

"No, of course not." Blaze said. "Flare, Twilight knows better than to do something like that."

"But this is a friendship situation!" I said. "If she knows that this is a friendship situation, of course she'll help me out!"

"Well, he does have a point there, Blaze." Aqua said.

"Of course I do! Flare: 1, Blaze: 0! In your face, brah!" I teased him.

“Well this is gonna be mah final appearance for a while so ah’m gonna make the best of it.” Engie said, but I didn’t let him say anything because I already changed the scene. Buh bye, spa! Buh bye, Noble Six! You won’t be seeing until the next chapter!

So Psyche was writing his report in his observatory, and he looked really tired. He sighed and said, "Oh Luna, why does my boss have to give me so much work? Also... I wish my mom were here." He then takes out his necklace that was in his pocket, and held in close to him "Oh mom. It's not easy not having you around. I hope you're happy. But I know you'll always be in my heart." Suddenly, Psyche's phone started ringing, so he answered it.

"Talk to me.” Psyche said as he answered the phone. “Oh boss, uhh... I'm doing the report right now! Huh? You changed your mind? You want me to go on vacation? I dunno. Are you sure? Ok if you say so. Wait, and you want me to eat at Flare's Pizza Parlor and order 2 large pizzas for 16 bits? Is Flare paying you to advertise for him? Wait, time out. You want me to say what? I'm not gonna say: 'Flare is the most awesomest pony in Equestria.' I already know Pinkie is. Why are you laughing? Alright, alright quit yelling, I'll go on vacation!" Psyche hangs up his phone. "What was that all about? My boss said he wants to give me a vacation, but why does he keep mentioning Flare? Wow, I guess Flare would do anything to advertise." then he smiled. "But who cares? I get to finally have some relaxation!"

The next day came, I was inside a taxi wagon on my way to Psyche's house so I can drop him off at the airport for his vacation, and Spike was with me because, why not? "Isn't this great, Spike? Psyche's finally gonna get the relaxation he deserves!" I said.

“It’s funny how our names sound similar. Psyche and Spike.” Spike said.

I chuckled. “Wow, I didn’t notice that before!”

"So you have any idea where he's going?" Spike asked.

"No. As a matter of fact, I haven't even called him, but one thing's for sure, I got him a cab, so he can ride on down to the Airport and go to.... well.... wherever he wants to go." I said.

"What if he already has a cab, let alone a ride? How do you even know if he's taking a plane? He could be taking a train, or a wagon, or a boat." Spike said.

"I'M ON A BOAT!" I yelled.

"Actually, you're on a cab." he corrected me.

"Oh pull over at that house right there." I said to the pony pulling the taxi wagon. The pony stops near Psyche's house, so Spike and I jumped out of the wagon, and the two of us went over to Psyche’s door so we could ring the doorbell. I didn’t feel like doing the Sheldon Cooper knock this time. Once I rang the door bell, it made one of those Big-Ben chimes, but before it could get to the last part of the chime, the door bell made a sound effect of a bomb falling from the sky and falling on a street and many people were screaming and there was shooting and tanks and fighter planes and even… wait… did I just hear a tug boat horn? Luckily it was over and Psyche answered the door.

"What's up, Flare? What's up, Spike?" Psyche asked.

"What was that?” Spike asked.

“That was my London World Party III theory doorbell.” Psyche said.

“But it didn’t sound right.” I said.

“Yeah I get that a lot.” Psyche said.

“Yeah I didn’t hear the sound of rain. It always rains in London.” I pointed out.

“Right, well tell that to Engie. That was my birthday present from him. I’m thinking of taking it down.” Psyche said.

"Well then, dude; we're here to drop you off at the airport!" I said.

"Uhh, why?" he asked.

"So you can go on vacation." I said.

"I told you, he might not be taking a plane." Spike said to me.

"He's right, I'm not, but I'm not going anywhere either." Psyche said.

"Why not? Your boss told you to go on vacation, so we're gonna help you out." I said.

"I know, but I can't afford a trip." Psyche said. "Hang on. How did you know my boss said I should go on vacation?"

"Is that important?" I asked.

"Yeah it is actually." he said.

"Well too bad. What do you mean you can't afford a trip?" I asked.

"My job doesn’t pay well. I'm lucky to have enough money for food and shelter." he said.

"Twilight doesn't have a job, and she gets a good amount of food and shelter, and she goes on trips. Same thing goes with Fluttershy." I said.

"First of all, Fluttershy does have a job. She gets paid to tend the animals. Second, all of Twilight's trips are actually for business, the princess pays for it." Psyche said.

"Except for when we went to Appleloosa, AppleJack paid for that." Spike explained. "Also, the Cakes paid for the trip to Canterlot for the dessert contest."

"Yeah, so sorry Flare. I guess I'm having a staycation." Psyche said.

"Stuff your socks, Psyche. You're going on VAY-cation." I said.

"Oh yeah? How am I supposed to get enough money to go?" Psyche asked.

"I'll pay for your trip." I said.

"Oh, Flare, you don't have to do that." Psyche said, feeling bad.

"It's no problemo, brah! You know how big Flare's Pizza Parlor is? I got more money then all the gems in Rarity's trunk!" I said.

“Thanks for making me hungry, Flare.” Spike complained.

"Well... if you insist." Psyche said.

"Only if I can go with you though." I said.

"And me!" Spike said.

"No!" Psyche and I said it at the same time.

"Well excuse me!" Spike said, feeling insulted.

"Oh don't take it that way, brah. Twilight needs you, and besides, Rarity invited you for a tea party at her house!" I said.

"What? No way!" he said excitedly.

"Yes way!" I said.

"Alright, it's no problem." Spike said.

"Isn't this great, brah? We're going on vacation together!" I said to Psyche excitingly.

"Well, I don't think this is gonna end well, but you're right, I do need a vacation, and if you going is the only way, then I guess I can live with that." Psyche said.

"PRAISE THE WIZARDS!" I yelled giving Psyche a hug.

"Hey whoa, man!" he said.

"Oh sorry." I said, letting go of him quickly. "So where you wanna go? Please say cruise! Please say cruise! Please say cruise!"

"Well a cruise is nice, but....” Psyche started.

“YES! He said cruise! We’re going on a cruise!” I said excitedly.

“Well actually…. if this is my only chance of going on vacation for a long time, then I guess it's a good time to go back to my hometown of Trottingham." Psyche said.

"Trottingham? Oh gross! That town is disgusting, and vial, and there are thugs there!" I complained. "Oh, no offense, brah."

"None taken, I tend to agree." he said.

"So why you wanna go there?" I asked.

"My mom's there, and I really haven't seen her for a long time." Psyche said.

"That seems like a good enough excuse for me." I said.

"Excuse?" Psyche asked.

"Yeah, excuse." I said.

"That isn’t an excuse, it's a fact." he said.

"Hey whatever you say, brah." I said. “And tomatoes are fruits.”

“They are.” Psyche said.

"Okay so why am I here again?" Spike asked.

"To help with the luggage, duh!" I reminded him.

"Oh right." he said. So Psyche packed his bags, and Spike struggled trying to put them on the cab.

"What's in these bags rocks?" Spike asked.

"No my bags have the ones with the rocks in them." I corrected him.

"You packed rocks?" Psyche asked me.

"We are going to Trottingham after all, so I'll need a way to defend myself." I said.

"Why can't you use your magic?" Psyche asked.

"Some of my magic hasn't been working lately; it just gives out a little spark." I said, as my horn sparked. "See? I just tried doing armor lock, and it just gave out that spark."

"Well thank goodness that's one less thing to worry about." he said.

"Twilight says I should just rest my horn for a while." I said.

"Your dumb." he said.

"Why would you say that?" I asked.

"You... just are." Psyche said.

"That's not very nice." I said.

"I never said anything about me being nice." Psyche said and gave me an evil grin. We both laughed.

“I don’t get it, how is that funny?” Spike asked.

So the cab takes us over to the Airport. We took our stuff, Spike waves goodbye to us, and he heads back to Ponyville. After that, we went to the line where we had to drop our luggage off. "Man, I really don't like waiting in these lines." I complained.

"Here I go a tip for you, Flare." Psyche said as I then started tipping over and I fell on the floor. "Uhh, what are you doing?"

"You said you had a tip for me." I said.

"Yeah, ha ha, very funny." Psyche said sarcastically.

"Hey Psyche, looks like I've 'fallen' for you." I teased and laughed.

Psyche sighed. "Get up, man. You're making a fool outta yourself."

"Pinkie makes a fool out of herself too all the time." I said, getting up.

"Pinkie is a happy, hyper mare that loves to party. You on the other hoof just do it for attention." he said.

"I don't see the difference." I said and shrugged.

He facehoofed himself. "How can you not see the difference between you and Pinkie?"

"How can you not see the difference between you and the mysterious doctor?" I asked.

"Don't compare me to him. I'm just annoyed, but I never tried to ruin your life." Psyche reminded me.

"No, but you both annoy me." I teased.

"You think I'm more annoying than you?" he asked.

"I never said that. I just said you annoy me in general, but I'm more annoyed at myself then you." I said.

"Hmm... seems to make sense to me, but why do you keep doing it?" he asked.

"Have you heard my backstory yet? Were you not at my shop during that time?" I asked.

"Yes I was there. You say you can't help it, but you could if you tried." he said.

"I do try." I said.

"You don't seem to try hard enough, bro." he said.

"You know my sister, she acts just like me." I said.

"Yeah, same thing goes to her." he said. So we dropped off our luggage and went to the security station and waited line for our turn. We both had embarrassed looks on our faces when we reached there.

"You alright, brah?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm fine." he said.

"You hate these airport security stations, don't you?" I asked.

"Look, if it was mares I wouldn't mind, but stallions touching my sides, searching for anything suspicious, it makes me feel uncomfortable." he said.

"Oh that doesn't bother me. I just hate taking off my shoes." I said. "You know what, dude? You're lucky you don't wear any shoes."

"It's a good thing I don't." he said. It was taking a long time for us to get up, and I was wondering what was taking so long. Up ahead, there was a squeaky giggle, and the security were having a hard time which whom revealed to be the Pillsberry Doughboy, who giggled everytime the security guard touched him.

"Sir." the security guard said, losing his patience.

"I'll get it together! I promise!" the Pillsberry Doughboy said, with his hands back up. The security guard tried to check him again, but of course, the Pillsberry Doughboy giggled, of being so ticklish. I shouldn't judge because I'm pretty ticklish too. Just then, two guitar ponies were playing on stage.

One of the ponies asked; "Ronnie, how happy are folks when they save hundreds of dollars switching to Geico?"

The other one said; "I'd say happier than the Pillsberry Doughboy on his way to a baking convention." Those two then played their guitars again, and the Pillsberry Doughboy hummed the tune as he was heading to his flight.

A voice in the background then said; "Get happy, get Geico! 15 minutes, could save you 15% or more!" So it was our turn to go through the security station. We got ourselves checked and we went to the line where we go inside our plane.

"For Wizard of Hope's sake, I'm tired of these lines!" I complained.

"Get used to it." Psyche said.

"Where's the fast pass?" I asked.

"This isn't a theme park, dude." he reminded me.

"I know, but I'm used to getting fast passes so I don't have to wait in line." I said. We then eventually turned in our tickets and we went inside the plane. Psyche counted the numbers above the seats, so we can find ours.

"14... 15... 16... 17..." Psyche counted, but after he counted from 17, I tried to mess him up.

"22... 99... 45... 45... 45.... 69... 45..." I said, trying to mess him up.

"Dude, quit it with that." he instructed me.

"Okie doke!" I said. He continued to count, but when he got to 23, I attempted to mess him up again, and most of the numbers in that list was 45.

"Flare, quit it!" he demaned.

"Okie doke!" I said again. He continued counting and I started messing him up again. Psyche groaned. "What do I have to do to get you to shut up?" he asked.

"You have to buy me lunch." I said.

"Fine." He sighed and he counted again. I didn't interrupt him again, but I gave a mischievous look behind his back and chuckled because I sure tricked him into buying me lunch today. So we found our seats. He sat down near the window, and I sat down after him.

"Mmm, comfee!" I said.

"Hey I might need to go use the restroom in the middle of the flight, you don't mind moving right?" Psyche asked me.

"I'm not a cow, how can I moooove?" I asked.

"You're an idiot." he said.

"No I'm not, I'm a pony." I said. So the pilot speaks on the intercom saying they'll start flying soon. They were attaching the pegasi around the plane, because in Equestria, planes are powered by pegasi. Well, not Rainbow Factory speaking, more like them attached to the plane. They're pretty strong pegasi; I'm surprised Rainbow Dash didn't take this job. So the pilot was giving out safety lessons on the intercom while some of the flight crew was showing examples, like the seat belt thing, the boat raft, and even those little party hats that pop out of above us.

After they were finished with the lessons, I complained to Psyche. "Wow, do they think we're stupid? Everypony knows how to put on a seat belt."

"Well it's in their policy, they have to do it." Psyche said.

"Like it's Hasbro's policy for not making OCs canon?" I asked taking out a bag of potato chips.

"Well something like that." Psyche said. Just then, he saw me eating the bag of chips and he gave me a look.

"What?" I asked.

"Every time you eat potato chips it gives us bad luck." Psyche said.

"Bro, that only happened once." I reminded him.

"It could happen again." he said.

"You over worry." I said. The plane was just about to lift off, so I took out some gum, and I gave some to Psyche. "Gum?" I asked.

"Oh good idea." he said.

"Yeah, the gum will protect our ears from all the momentum." I said.

"Uhh, yeah thanks, I already knew that." he said. So we chewed the gum, and the plane started to lift off into the sky. Over the time we were trying to take off I was giving myself the cross and I kept on wondering on why my parents thought lifting off was worse on your ears than landing because the landing makes your ears pop the most.

"Hey Psyche I dare you to stick your head out the window." I said to him.

"NO I won't do that!" he said.

"Oh quit being a baby, it won't hurt you." I said.

"Yeah it will." he said.

"Sure whatever you say............... baby." I teased.

"Shut up." he said.

“Yeah you’re probably returning the favor after all of in the Noble Six keep telling you shut up all the time.” I reminded him.

“Aqua’s pretty much my favorite in the group because he never told me to shut up.” Psyche said.

“Oh he says it, brah, he says it. Only in his head though, but he says it.” I said. After a few minutes, a foal started crying behind us. "Oh holy Wizard of Feelings. Every plane has to have a crying foal. EVERY PLANE!" I complained.

"Owie! Owie my ears hurt!" the foal behind us cried.

"Sigh." I said.

"WAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAH! MY EARS! MY EARS!" the foal yelled in my ear.

"I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR, THANK YOU!" I yelled at the baby.

"WAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAH! That pony yelled at me!" the baby cried.

"Oh did he now?" the mom behind me said, and then she hit me with her umbrella.

"OW!" I yelled. "Angry face!"

"Calm down, dude. Calm down." Psyche instructed me, holding me down. It was quiet for a few seconds, but then the baby started crying again which got me upset.

"Oh this can't get any worse!" I said.

"And the movie we'll be featuring in this flight: Bio-Dome by Pauly Shores." the intercom said.

“WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAH!” I yelled.

“Hey look who’s the baby now!” the foal teased me.

I gotta say, the plane ride was a disaster, but I made the best of it. I'd rather go on Virgin airlines, so each passanger can have their own TV, but we had to be on Equestrian airlines. It's been 3 hours and we finally landed in Trottingham. The passengers walked out of the plane, and I felt so relived. I was about to get out of the plane, but Psyche stopped me.

"Hold on, Flare." he said, holding my shoulder.

"Aw c'mon! The flight's over, I wanna get outta here!" I complained.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I need to put on this outfit." he said, holding a bag of clothes.

"Why? This place got a dress code or something?" I asked.

"No, it's just..... I can't explain." he said nervously.

"Can I wear something else too?" I asked.

"Uhh, sure. If you want." he said as then he went inside the lavatory to put on his outfit. When we came back out, I was already wearing my outfit.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I'm an AppleJack!" I said.

"It's Lumberjack, not AppleJack." Psyche corrected me. Yeah, I was wearing a lumberjack outfit. A shirt, some overalls, a hat, and I even was wearing a lumberjack beard.

"Lumberjack, Applejack, same thing." I said.

"Not really. Why did you choose that as your outfit?" he asked.

"Isn't Trottingham a redwood forest?" I asked.

"Not even close." he said.

"What are you suppose to be, a hobo?" I asked. Psyche kinda looked like he was a hobo, with that dirty brown jacket, that beanie hat, and that scarf, man.

"No, it's a disguise." he said, but as he looked down to see his outfit, he said, "Actually, I kinda do look like a hobo, don't I?"

"Maybe if you would've put on a mustache, I wouldn've recognized you. Why are you disguising yourself anyway?" I asked.

"I'll explain later, but for the time being, while we're in public, you'll call me Star Chaser." Psyche said.

"Ooo, ooo, I want a made up name too!" I shouted.

"Oooookay." he said. "Like what?"

"Hey I just figured we were gonna live under disguised names, you think I think of a name that quick?" I asked.

"How about Firebolt?" he asked.

"Firebolt? Firebolt's a pegasus name." I said.

Psyche gave himself a facehoof. "Look we don't have time for this. Let's just get to our hotel, quickly, and quietly."

"Okie doke!" I whispered fast. So the two of us walked out of the plane and into the Trottingham Airport Terminal. I gotta say, Psyche was feeling a little nervous as he suspiciously looked around like he’s trying to avoid someone. I was pretty sure Psyche is keeping something from me. I didn't wanna tell him now though because it seemed he was pretty serious on hiding his identity, so I wanted to wait until we got to the hotel. We went down to the floor where we retrieve our luggage, and Psyche was feeling a little impatient. He kept mumbling to himself, asking where the luggage is. Perhaps he was in a hurry.

"Brah, ya feelin alright, eh?" I asked in a Canadian accent.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm just askin if ya feelin alright." I asked.

"Why are you talking like that?" he asked.

"Uhh, Applejack suit, I need a Canadian accent." I said.

"Lumberjack." he corrected me.

"Lumberjack, whatever!" I yelled.

"Shhh! Stay quiet!" he whispered angrily to me, covering my mouth. In case you didn't notice, whoever puts their hooves near my mouth, I lick them because I don't like ponies invading my personal space.

"Ewww!" Psyche said in a disgusted tone as he removed his hoof from my mouth and wiping it on his jacket.

"I keep telling you not to cover my mouth." I reminded him.

"Look, just keep an eye on our luggage." Psyche said. So we waited for our luggage, and to Psyche's bad luck, ours came last. "Finally!" he complained, taking his last bag.

"Well, I'm bored, can we go now?" I asked.

"Certainly." he said. So we both went outside, and stood near the edge of the sidewalk.

"We waiting for a cab?" I asked.

"No, we're waiting for the ice cream stallion." Psyche said sarcastically.

"Isn't it a little early for ice cream?" I asked.

"We left Ponyville at 10 AM, and it was a 3 hour flight." he said.

"But it's still 10 AM. How is that possible?" I asked.

"West coast standard time." Psyche said.

"Ya sure are smart, eh?" I asked.

"And quit it with that Canadian accent, this is Trottingham." Psyche instructed me.

"Hey, Star?" I said to Psyche getting his attention.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Do you even know what hotel we're staying at?" I asked.

"The one closest to the cemetery." Psyche said.

"Why? It sounds a little creepy, eh." I asked, still in that Canadian accent. “I mean… what if the dead comes back to life?”

"I'll explain when we get there." Psyche said as he waved for a cab that was nearby. The cab stops for us, and the one pony pulling the cab carriage looked like a pony that used to be a construction worker, and he looked pretty mean.

"Yeah, yeah, get in." the cab pony said rudely.

"Wuss up, eh?" I asked.

"Look, bub, I don't have all day!" the cab pony shouted at me.

"Ooo, somepony needs to take a chill pill." I said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME, TOUGH GUY?!" he yelled at me.

"Flare, get inside." Psyche instructed me.

"My name's not Flare, whatcha talkin about, boy?" I asked him as I climbed inside the cab next to him.

"Cemetery Inn, please." Psyche said to the cab driver.

"I'm so not gonna enjoy the drive." the cab pony complained as he started carrying the carriage into the Trottingham streets. While we were on the road, I looked around the city, it didn't look that different to Manehatten, but everything seemed to be a little dirtier. I saw some ponies getting robbed, some getting beat up, and some that drank too much cider and still drive right after.

"What do you think of the city?" Psyche asked me.

"Well, all the robberys, all the beatings I see going on, what I have to say is.... THIS CITY IS GREAT! It has everything! I love it!" I yelled in happiness.

"Really?" he asked.

"No not really, it sucks." I complained as I crossed my hooves. “And you say I don’t understand sarcasm.” As we were quiet for a few seconds, Psyche takes out his necklace again, the same one from the observatory, and he holds it close to his chest. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you brought your marefriend with you." I teased him and lawled.

"What?" he asked.

"You're holding that necklace close to you, so I was calling it your marefriend." I said.

"SHUT UP!" he yelled at me. "This necklace used to belong to my mother!"

"Oh so it was your mom's marefriend too?" I teased. Psyche grabbed my lumberjack shirt, and gave me an angrily stare.

"I'm warning you, Crimson! This necklace is all I have left of my mom. She passed away when I was very young! I had no family, I had no friends, my life was worse than yours was! All of those who teased about my mother are right now headless! If you wanna live the rest of your life WITH a head, you must NEVER tease about my mother again! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" Psyche threatened me.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, keep my head on at all times." I said with a nervous smile, and then I squeed.

"You are so lucky you're my friend. I never gave them second chances." Psyche said. Wow, I never saw Psyche so angry before. I did make him mad a few times, but Engie makes him mad more than anyone else, but really, whatever I said seemed to really offend him. Teaches me to think before I say, but he never told me that necklace used to be his mom's. Then again, he never told me his mom passed away when he was young so it does explain alot. Then again, many ponies in my past lied to me in saying their moms are dead after I joked about them, but I saw their moms at the parent-teacher conferences. I know I shouldn’t make mom jokes, it’s wrong, and I know that, but lying that you’re mom is dead is a much worse joke. There are those out there that actually don’t have moms so don’t lie! Be lucky for what you have! But yeah, I learned my lesson. I will not tease Psyche like that again.

So finally, the cab stopped at the hotel, Psyche paid the angry driver, and we checked into our room, but of course, the check-in counter had a long line. I was so tired of long lines today. So we finally found our room shortly after, and Psyche was about to put the keycard into the slot, but I kept saying that I wanted to do it, but he didn't offer, and it made me mad, but playfully mad, not that mad that I witnessed with Psyche in the cab. "Well, here we are." he said as he opened the door.

"Nice room. Can we stay in here the rest of the vacation? It beats this dump of a city." I asked.

"Sure, but first I wanna go visit my mom." Psyche said.

"I thought your mom was..." before I could finish that sentence, I decided to stop myself because he gave me a glare. "Sorry 'bout dat, eh." I said in the Canadian accent.

"Consider yourself lucky." he said as he calmed down a bit.

"I still wish you'd put on a mustache. It would've made your disguise more likely to work." I suggested to him. So we both walked over to the foggy cemetery nearby. It was so foggy out in the Trottingham streets. All I heard in the background were carriage horns and police sirens. When I looked up into the sky, it looked like was gonna snow, and come to think of it, it was freezing outside. We walked across the cemetery to find Psyche's mom's grave.

"Wow, so many lives. It's pretty sad really. This is the biggest cemetery I've ever seen. The cemetery in Mareami has 90 graves; this one looks like it has 700. I wonder how Pipsqueak survived living here? I wonder how the economy is around here? By the looks of all the hobos in the streets, not that good." I explained. Psyche got separated from me while I was talking about how much of a dump Trottingham is. "Psyche? Psyche where are you? Oops, I mean Star Chaser, where are you Star? Come to think of it, Star Chaser is also the name of my friend Rainer's wife."

I saw Psyche standing over a grave stone nearby. I walked over to him, and I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. I looked on the grave stone which had no name on it, but by the looks of it, it was Psyche's mom. I put my hooves near my mouth like a trumpet, and I was singing Tapps. By the time I got to the second verse, Psyche told me to shut up.

"Dude, Star, I am so sorry about this." I said.

"Here, you can call me Psyche." he said.

"I never knew your mother, but by the looks of things, she was a great mare." I said.

"Nopony else seemed to think that." Psyche said. "She was a lonely mare, dude. I was the only one to keep her happy, and she was the only one..... to keep.... me happy." I placed my hoof over Psyche, trying to comfort him. "I was just a colt since she passed. I wasn't living an easy life after that. I decided to move to Ponyville to get away from it all."

"You and me both, brah. You and me both." I said.

"At least you have a family." he said.

"You have a family too." I said.

"No I don't. My mom was my only family." he said very sadly.

"But Psyche, don't you see? Crystal, Blaze, Aqua, Engie, even me! We ARE your family!" I said. Psyche sadly looked up at me, and I was giving him a silly face, derpy-eyes, with my tongue sticking out. Psyche didn't say anything and he then looked back down at his mom's tombstone. While we were looking down, we saw some shadows appear suddenly on the tombstone. "Hey why didn't the stone get dark?"

"Well, well, well." the pony behind us said. We both turned around and saw a couple of cops.

"Heya officers! Dis mare a friend of yours, eh?" I asked in a Canadian accent.

"Psyche, it's so good to see you again!" one of the cops said.

"Officer Penny Nickels. You haven't changed a bit." Psyche said.

"HA! I see what you did there, Psyche! With the name, and 'you haven't changed a bit'." I teased. "And please officer, this stallion is named Star Chaser, not Psyche."

"Yeah, yeah, maybe if he would've gotten a mustache, maybe we would've fallen for it." Officer Nickels said.

"Told you so." I said to Psyche.

"Now you both are coming with us." the other officer said.

"Oh my Celestia." Psyche said, feeling nervous.

"Cool! Where we going? A party?" I asked.

"Flare, use your magic. Now!" Psyche demanded.

"What am I, a Pokemon? Besides, I can't. I told you, my horn needs rest, all I can do is spark." I said while a spark came out of my horn again. "Besides, we didn't do anything wrong. What's the worse they can do? Give us a ticket?" Then all the sudden, we wounded up in a jail cell. "Soooo, I guess this means we're at a rusted daycare center, with big ol iron bars?"

"Oh Celestia, oh Celestia, oh Luna, this is not good! This is not good at all!" Psyche said to himself.

"Will you quit talking to yourself? You've been doing that for a half-hour already!" I said.

"Shut up! Just shut up, man!" Psyche yelled.

"What? Did I screw up again?" I asked.

"No, no, it was my fault this time. We were at the wrong place at the wrong time." Psyche said.

"I am so confused. Why are we in jail?" I asked.

"Because, I wasn't suppose to be here." Psyche said.

"Of course we're not supposed to be here, this is jail." I said.

"No, I mean we're not supposed to be in Trottingham." Psyche corrected me.

"Oh, okay. Let me ask you a question, umm, why did you say we should vacation here then, dum dum?" I asked.

"We weren't supposed to be here on vacation, alright? This was royal business." Psyche said.

"Royal business?" I asked.

"When my boss said I should take the week off, Princess Luna called me and said that I need to retrieve something." Psyche said.

"Retrieve what?" I asked. Psyche was silent for a sec and he wouldn’t tell me. "Well?"

"I can't tell you." he said.

"Why not? You can trust me!" I said.

"I can.... but I choose not to." he said.

"C'mon, bro!" I persuaded him.

"No." he said.

"Please? I promise I won't tell anypony!" I swore.

"I never told a pony about this. This is between me, my family, and the princesses." Psyche said.

I put on a Celestia wig, and I started talking in her voice. "Hi, Psyche, I'm Princess Celestia. Will you tell me what you need to retrieve?"

"Sure, when pig's fly." he said. I took out my pig action figure out of my lumberjack shirt pocket, and put it on the floor. "That can be arranged."

"Dude, don't even try it." he said.

"Why not?" I asked.

"First of all, it was a figure of speech, even if pigs can fly I wouldn't tell you." Psyche said. "Second of all...."

"Oh good you said second of all. I was gonna say. Ponies say 'first of all' sometimes, but they don't have a 'second of all'. It just doesn't make any sense." I said.

"Second of all, you're wearing a ring on your horn that's forbidding you to use magic while under police custody." Psyche explained. "Third of all, your magic doesn't work, remember?"

"Yeah I'm not stupid. Tongue face. You always talk to me like I'm an idiot." I said.

"Because you are an idiot." he said.

"Well I don't like your tone young stallion, I'm outta here." I said as I started walking out, but then I crashed right into the jail chains and fell down which made me realize we’re still in our cell, nothing’s changed. I started pulling on the jail door, but it wouldn't open.

"Good luck getting that door open." Psyche said sarcastically.

"Thanks." I said as I continued to pull the door opened, but it still wouldn't come off.

"Stop, stop. Flare, you're being stupid right now." he said.

"Hey don't call me stupid, eh." I said in a Canadian accent.

"AND QUIT IT WITH THAT CANADIAN ACCENT!" he yelled.

"Its part of the disguise, bro." I said.

"Look, the disguises are useless now, take off that beard." he instructed me.

"No, I like the beard." I said as I rubbed my fake lumberjack beard.

"Take off the beard!" he ordered me.

"I like being an applejack though." I said.

"LUM-BER-JACK!" he yelled.

"WHAT-EV-ER!" I yelled. Just then, suddenly, the cops came back and opened the cell door. "Oh good, I was getting bored in here. Well, time to go, Psyche."

"Yeah, time to go... to court!" Officer Nickels said.

"Oh no." Psyche said, feeling nervous.

"Psyche, relax dude. It's only a trial." I said.

"But we're doomed, man! We're going to prison!" Psyche yelled. "HOW CAN YOU BE OKAY WITH THIS?!"

"Psyche, calm down! I still have my one phone call! I'll call up something that'll be useful." I said.

"Oh... good." Psyche said.

"Officers, I'll like to take my one phone call." I said to them.

"Alright, but make it quick." Officer Nickel said. I walked up to the phone, and dialed a number in.

"Maybe we still have a chance after all." Psyche said. "Maybe Flare has a good lawyer."

"Hello? Mrs. Cake? Hey, it's Flare, how ya doing?" I asked on the phone.

"But then again, this is Flare I’m with.” Psyche said.

"I need that emergency cake, prontow!" I said. "Trottingham prison. One week? Sounds alright to me. I'll need that cake. Kay thanks, Mrs. Cake! Chow!" I hung up the phone and walked back towards my jail cell. "Not to worry, Psyche! Our problems will be solved!"

"YOU IDIOT!" Psyche yelled.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"YOU JUST USED YOUR ONLY PHONE CALL, TO ORDER A CAKE?!" he asked.

"Yes I did! I figured it would come in handy." I said.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CALL A LAWYER OR SOMETHING!" Psyche yelled.

"Look, you have your phone call still. You call a lawyer." I said.

"I don't have a lawyer!" he yelled.

"Don't worry, I know of a good lawyer, brah." I said. So Psyche called up the lawyer I requested, and then we went to our trial. After a little while, we did our case, and the jury came with their answer.

"We the jury find the defended, guilty of all charges." a pony in the jury said.

"I knew this was gonna be a failure." Psyche said as he gave himself a facehoof.

"I can't believe you failed us! YOU'RE FIRED!" I yelled to my lawyer, who was actually Tom the Rock. "You call yourself a lawyer? I thought you rocked!"

"Psyche, I hope you can understand that after you caused your crimes last time you were here, you were supposed to be banished from this city and never to come back. Since you disobeyed that rule, I sentence you to 12 years in prison!" the judge said, and slammed the hammer.

"OH NO!" Psyche yelled.

"OH YEAH!" I yelled like the cool-aid guy.

"Flare, I ain't gonna make it out of that prison alive!" Psyche yelled.

"Look, its only prison, how bad can it be?" I asked.

"I heard rumors about Trottingham prison. All the worse criminals are there. Ones that rob banks, ones that beat up, ones that steal candy from babies!" Psyche explained dramatically.

"STEAL CANDY FROM BABIES?! That's terrible!" I yelled.

"It's gonna be the worst years of my life!" Psyche said.

"Don't worry, bro. I'll figure out a way to bail you out. Don't worry." I said.

"No you won't." the judge said. "Didn't you understand YOUR crimes?"

"What crimes?" I asked.

"Did you not listen?" the judge asked. "First of all, you yelled at a baby on the plane on the way here."

"That baby was annoying me, he had it coming!" I said. "I hope you have a 'second of all'."

"Second of all, you littered your gum and a potato chip bag." the judge said.

"I accidentally missed the trash can it seems. Nothing to be sent to prison for; that's a community service punishment." I reminded him.

"Let's not forget about your crimes in Mareami. You stole a trailer that belonged to Porker Swinebutt." the judge said.

"Well, he stole my dignity, and my trust! He had it coming!" I said.

"Stealing a dignity and trust is not against the law, Crimson." the judge said.

"Don't call me Crimson!" I yelled.

"DON'T YOU YELL AT ME!" the judge yelled at me.

"Well you're yelling at me." I said.

"I SENTENCE YOU BOTH TO 12 YEARS IN PRISON! GET THOSE TWO OUT OF MY SIGHT!" the judge ordered and slammed his hammer on his table.

"Oh no!" Psyche yelled. The cops held on to us and started escort us out.

"Hey, don't touch me! I can escort myself out!" I yelled but the cops didn’t listen and they just grabbed me. “I’LL ESCOURT MYSELF OUT! I don’t like being touched in this fashion! I’ll sue ya! HEY! I'M FRIENDS WITH PRINCESS LUNA! EVERYPONY'S MY FRIEND! EVERYPONY HELP! YOU'RE ALL MY FRIEND! FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND..." as I was spazing out, one of the officers tazed me. "Ow! Don't taze me bro!" the officer then tazed me again, and then I passed out.

"Phew! Finally, peace and quiet!" Psyche said feeling relieved. After some time went by, we were sent to the Trottingham prison. I woke up on the ride there so I decided to take the time to start a friendly conversation with the cops, but they kept asking me to shut up and they tazed me again and I passed out. I woke up again when we got to the prison so I was able to walk myself out, but did they let me? These cops were terrible! They were hanging on to me the whole time, but Psyche was able to escort himself which made me complain big time. First we went to the room where they take the pretty pictures of us holding numbers; Psyche was first.

"Name." the officer behind the camera said.

"Psyche." Psyche said feeling nervous, as the officer took a picture of him holding a group of numbers.

"Turn to the side." the officer said and Psyche did so. "Crime."

"Banish disobedient." Psyche said as the officer took a picture of his side. I was after him. I stood in front of the camera, smiling, and looking pretty as I held the number.

"Name." the officer said.

"Flare Gun." I said as he took the picture.

"Turn around." the officer said, and I did so. "Crime."

"For being too awesome! Ooooooh!" I teased. "LAWL! J-K, trailer theft." then the officer took the picture of my side. After the pictures, we had to put on our prison uniforms.

"I can't believe this! Stuck at the worst, most dangerous prison in all of Equestria!" Psyche said.

"Hey it could be worse." I said.

"How so?" Psyche asked.

"At least your prison uniform fits you; all I have is a size large." I said.

"So?" Psyche said. "It fits you alright."

"No it doesn't, it's tight around the waist area. That's why I order an extra large!" I said.

"Teaches you not to eat so much." Psyche said.

"Hey, I just thought of a positive side for being in prison! I'll be losing weight!" I said.

"Yeah, I guess you can look at it like that." Psyche said. Afterwards, we were transferred to our prison cell. Psyche sat down on the bed while I leaned against the wall.

“You’re in my spot.” I said to him. Psyche just ignored that remark and continued sitting there. "You know what, Psyche? Maybe prison won't be so bad."

"Flare, you never even been here!" Psyche said.

"Neither have you, cell buddy!" I said.

"I know ponies that were here, and I read books. This prison is the worst! We're not going to survive 12 years in here!" Psyche said.

"Sure we can! Look at the positives!" I suggested.

"I bet you 50 bits you can't even think of three." Psyche said.

"I can think of seven!" I said.

"Go for it." Psyche dared me.

"Free food, no taxes, no responsibilities, free health care, it'll help us lose weight, all the basketball we want, and we're here together." I said. "Seven positives."

"I'm not sure that last one is a positive." Psyche said.

"Look, Psyche, if we stick together, we just might make it out of this! We're cell buddies now!" I said.

"Trust me, I'd be dead by your voice long before I die by the criminals around here." Psyche said.

"My voice can't kill you." I corrected him.

"Trust me; it nearly stranded us in space forever." Psyche said

"That wasn't my voice; that was the potato chips!" I corrected him.

"Flare, you don't understand, alright? I'm going to get this off my chest right now." Psyche said.

"I know what you're gonna say, and I know you don't believe that." I said.

"That you're annoying?" Psyche asked.

"Oh that. I thought you were gonna say that you were in love with my sister?" I asked.

"No." Psyche said.

"Don't worry, cell buddy. Once our cake comes, everything will be fine!" I said.

"And how is one cake going to help us out?" Psyche asked.

"The taste will make us feel free!" I said.

"Oh yeah, I can't wait. I can taste it now." Psyche said sarcastically.

"If you don't believe me, you can just fly outta here yourself." I said.

"I can't. Pegasi have their wings clipped when they go to prison, and unicorns get those rings on their horns like the one you have now. There's no way we can get out." Psyche said.

"Not yet, but don't worry, I have a plan." I said.

"Well you can leave me out of it." Psyche said.

"Look, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, let's just enjoy prison while it lasts." I said.

"Well, if I'm gonna be stuck here, might as well enjoy it." Psyche said.

"That's the spirit, brah!" I said excitedly.

After a few minutes we went underground to the coal mine. The prison guards escorted us over there so we can mine for them. "Oh Celestia, not mining!" Psyche complained. "It's dark and cold in here!"

"If it's cold in here, then maybe in mining you can work up a little sweat, cell buddy!” I said.

"You know I'm not that strong. I can hardly hold this pickaxe as it is." Psyche said.

"You should've worked out. You're too skinny." I said.

"Yeah thanks." Psyche said sarcastically.

"GET TO WORK!" one of the prison guards ordered, whipping Psyche.

"OW!" Psyche yelled.

"What is this, Indiana Jones?" I asked.

"GET TO WORK!" the guard yelled. So we started mining those rocks, as we were mining, I started singing 'Good Morning Judge' by 10cc.

"Well good morning judge, how are you today?
I'm in trouble please put me away!
An evil pig took a betrayal at me
Earned my trust and threw it away!"

The other prisoners sang this next part:

"Earned my trust and threw it away
Earned my trust and threw it away
Earned my trust and threw it away!"

One of the prisoners was playing an electric guitar, and the prisoners continued singing:

"He didn't do it!
He wasn't there!
He didn't want it!
He wouldn't dare!"

Later on, Psyche and I moved to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. "Ah, lunch time!" I said excitedly. "You know, you still owe me lunch."

"Well now's the time." Psyche said.

"But this doesn't count because this isn't a lunch that you pay for, cell buddy!" I said.

"Does it really matter? By the time we're out of here, IF we make it out of here, we'll forget all about it." Psyche said as we grabbed trays.

"I-D-K, buddy ol pal. I tend to remember this stuff." I said.

"Well, I wouldn't hold my breath." Psyche said. The lunch dude put some brown mushy stuff with weird spikey plant spice on it. "Eww. This food is gross!" The lunch dude did the same to mine.

"You sure? This food looks delicious to me!" I said.

"Why would you think this pile of trash is delicious?" Psyche asked, as we both sat down at a table.

"If this food is considered free, it's good to me! Oh I rhymed!" I said.

"Don't you have any negativity about this place?" Psyche asked.

"Well, they took my cell phone, and I bet Keith is wondering where I am because I haven’t been poking him, and there's no interwebs here, and I miss my friends back home." I said.

"Well sorry to hear that." Psyche said struggling to eat his lunch as I was gobbling up mine. "Yuck!" he said.

"Yum!" I said.

"You actually like that?" Psyche asked.

"I can eat anything, even my own hair if I want." I said.

"Eww!" he said. "I think I lost my appetite."

"Oh, so can I eat yours?" I asked.

"My hair? NO WAY!" he yelled.

"No, your lunch I mean." I corrected him.

"Oh... sure." he said, giving me his food. "Bon appetite."

"Thank you, cell buddy!" I said gobbling up Psyche’s food.

"Have you ever heard of table manners, Flare?" Psyche asked.

"This is prison. Manners don't exist here." I said. Psyche sighed and held his necklace again. "At least you're here with me, mom." We went outside, and we started to lift weights. As we were lifting weights, I continued singing.

"Well good morning judge! Yes I'm back again!
I'm in trouble so it's back to the pen!
I littered gum and it got back at me
Didn't notice, so I let it be."

The prisoners continued singing:

"Didn't notice, so I let it be.
Didn't notice, so I let it be.
Didn't notice, so I let it be."

That prisoner with the guitar played his guitar again, but suddenly he was hit in the head by a basket ball.

"He didn't do it
He wasn't there
He didn't want it
He wouldn't dare!" the prisoners sang, then Psyche sang this next part:

"I didn't do it!
I wasn't there!
I didn't want it!
I wouldn't dare!"

The guitar pony got back up again, and started playing his solo, even when he was hit by the basketball again.

Psyche was sitting down on the bleachers near the basketball court along side me. Psyche just kept on holding on to his necklace while I was just leaning there, relaxing.

"So cell buddy, you enjoying your vacation so far?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm having a blast." Psyche said sarcastically.

"I have the feeling this week's going by fast." I said.

"But we were just here for three hours." Psyche said.

"And that my friend, that was a fast three hours!" I said.

"Whatever you say, Flare." Psyche said.

"Call me cell buddy." I said to him.

"Ummm, no." he said still looking at his necklace.

"You've been staring at the necklace for a while, man. What's up?" I asked.

"This necklace is the only reason why I'm not spazing out right now." Psyche said.

"Thank Celestia for that." I said.

"Thank Celestia? Wow that's a first!" Psyche said.

"I'm giving Celestia a break. This doesn't mean I'm giving up on Luna." I said. Afterwards, I decided to conclude my song:

"Trottingham pen's like a home sweet home
There's no taxes, and I'm never alone!
Being happy is the way to be
So happy I don't wanna be free!"

Then the prisoners sang again:

"So happy I don't wanna be free.
So happy I don't wanna be free.
So happy I don't wanna be free."

The guitar prisoner concluded the song with his last few notes. He bowed, and as he was walking away, he was hit by the basketball yet again. As Psyche and I were relaxing on the bleachers, three tough-looking prisoners suddenly walked towards us.

"Hey look, fresh meat!" one of them said.

"Fresh meat? Where? I'm starving!" I said as I looked around excitedly. "Wait a sec, ponies don't eat meat."

"No, but we do." one of prisoners said and they all chuckled.

"You guys sound like you're bouncers in a nightclub." I said.

"Yeah, we bounce on your gut." one of the prisoners said.

"Sounds like fun! Your gut looks pretty bouncy!" I said.

"No, we mean... YOUR GUT!" one of the prisoners said and threw me on the ground and started bouncing on my stomach. As he was bouncing on me, I kept making a squeaky toy noise.

"Oh nice necklace, pretty mare!" one of the prisoners said to Psyche.

"Excuse me? I'm a stallion, and my necklace is none of your concern." Psyche said, holding his necklace away from them.

"Can I take a look at it?" one of the prisoners asked and took the necklace right off his neck.

"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!" Psyche yelled.

"Aww. Hey red unicorn? Can you tell your marefriend to calm down?" the prisoner with the necklace asked me.

"Psyche, you never told me you were a mare." I said in concern.

"I'm not. As for you jerks, you should leave us alone if you know what's good for you!" Psyche threatened them.

"Look at this little necklace!" the prisoner with the necklace said.

"Maybe it used to belong to his mom." the other prisoner said.

"It did. And she's dead." Psyche said angrily.

"Aww. Well let's pay our respect to this poor ol filly's momma." the prisoner said.

"I'M WARNING YOU, PAL! DON'T TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT MY MOTHER!" Psyche yelled.

"Cereally, dudes. He doesn't like that." I said.

"These two certainly make a good couple!" one of the prisoners said as he suddenly picks me up, bangs my face and Psyche’s close together. “YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE!"

"Eww! No offense, Psyche. You're not really my type." I admitted.

"Likewise, Flare." Psyche agreed. "AS FOR YOU! LEAVE US ALONE, AND GIVE ME BACK MY NECKLACE!"

"Please, dudes?" I asked nicely.

"You want it back?" the prisoner with the necklace asked.

"YES!" Psyche yelled.

"Then good luck getting it!" the prisoner said and threw his necklace down a sewage drain. Psyche gasped.

"Oops, it slipped." the prisoner that had the necklace teased, then the three of them laughed.

“Ok I saw very carefully and THAT was not a slip, that was a throw. That didn’t even look CLOSE to a slip.” I pointed out.

"What a couple of weaklings!" one of the prisoners said and then he grabbed me, and threw me on Psyche. They continued to laugh and walked away. I suddenly rolled off Psyche and rubbed my head, and then Psyche shook his head real fast, and he quickly crawled towards the sewage drain, and squeezes his hoof inside.

"No! NO NO NO NO!" Psyche cried.

"What happened?" I asked.

"THOSE JERKS THREW MY MOM'S NECKLACE DOWN THE SEWAGE DRAIN!" Psyche yelled.

"Hey you're not the first who lost something in the sewers." I said.

"NO! That necklace was all I had left of my mom, AND IT'S GONE!" Psyche yelled. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Psyche started to tear up, but held it in. I then placed my hoof on his shoulder in attempt to calm him down.

"Psyche..." I said, but then he pushed my hoof off him and ran off. After a little while, I met Psyche back at our prison cell, he was laying down on one of the beds, faceplanted on the pillow. "You're gonna take the bottom bunk? Okie doke!" I said as I jumped on the top bunk. "Ah, comfee! So you feeling alright, cell buddy?"

"Forget you! I ain't talking to you!" Psyche said angrily while his face was still in the pillow.

"Sorry, can't hear you. You'll have to put your face off that pillow if you want me to hear." I said. Psyche got up, grabbed me, then he started smashing me with his pillow, while tears were bursting out of his eyes. He stopped after 14 smashes, and he threw the pillow back on his bunk. "Cell buddy?"

"STOP CALLING ME CELL BUDDY! I LOST SOMETHING THAT REALLY MEANT ALOT TO ME, AND NOW IT'S GONE!" Psyche yelled.

"DON'T BLAME ME! IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" I yelled.

"NO, BUT I CAN'T STAND YOU SOMETIMES! THE ONE THING WORSE THAN SPENDING LIFE IN PRISON, IS SPENDING LIFE IN PRISON WITH A PONY LIKE YOURSELF!" Psyche yelled.

"A pony 'like' myself? You're talking about my sister, right?" I asked.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" Psyche yelled.

"B-T-W, this isn't life in prison, it's 12 years. But right now, it seems to be 11 years, and 364 days." I said.

"Why can't you ever leave me alone?" Psyche asked.

"Because I'm your friend, and I'm gonna do all I can to get us outta here! Just wait until next week, and we'll be out!" I explained.

"YOU THINK A STUPID CAKE IS GONNA GET US OUT?!" Psyche asked.

"Psyche, if you just listen to me!" I said.

"Flare, I'm sorry. I do like you, I'm lucky to have you as a friend, but I'm going through a tough time right now. So can you just be quiet for the rest of the night? Can you give me the rest of the night's peace? Please, Flare?" Psyche begged. I didn't say a thing after he said that because I knew this wasn’t the time for jokes. "Well?" he asked. I still didn't say anything. "You know what? Good job, Flare. Thank you for understanding. I’m sorry I yelled at you, but if you just stay quiet, it’ll really help me, I assure you. Good night, Flare." Psyche went back to the bunk and laid down on it. I also went on the top bunk and I just laid there with my eyes opened.

I thought about all that Psyche said. I know he didn't mean his anger, but that necklace meant everything to him. I don't know what to do to make him feel better, but when next week comes, everything will be fine. The next day came; I didn't say a word at all. We were at the cafeteria to grab breakfast, and he was talking to me.

"Flare I'm sorry for all I said to you last night. I didn't mean it." he said to me. I didn't say a thing back to him though; I just stared at my food. "You're not that annoying, I know there's worse ponies out there. At least you never tried to offend me and mess with my mom. Thanks for sticking up for me though." Psyche looked at me closely. "Umm, Flare? Are you okay?" I didn't say anything. "You can talk now." I still didn't say anything. "Fine, don't talk, but you're right, I should think of the positives while we're here, and as long as we're together, nothing can really harm us. To be honest, if it was just me 12 years in here alone, then I probably wouldn't survive, but with you here, I think we might just have a chance!" Psyche frowned. "It's okay, brah. Talk when you feel like talking." Days went by, and I still didn't say a word, but Psyche wasn't taking it easy ever since he lost his necklace, but he's slowly getting over it.

What Psyche doesn’t understand is that I try to look at the positives because that’s all I’ve been doing ever since I moved to Ponyville. I’m really good at keeping a positive side of things, and I think Psyche is starting to get it. He hasn’t been that sad since the days went by, and to be honest, I wouldn’t survive prison either if I was alone. I’d be afraid, I’d be very afraid, and I can’t handle the truth. Yeah I was trying to quote something there.

Finally, it was the seventh day, and Psyche was taking a nap. I came back to the cell with a big chocolate cake. Psyche woke up and saw the cake.

"Oh, cake's here already?" Psyche asked.

"Yep!" I said.

"Oh, you're finally talking again!" Psyche said.

"Affirmative!" I said.

"That's good." Psyche said.

"Want some cake?" I asked.

"I WANT IT!" Psyche yelled, but then he chuckled. "Sure, I'd like to have some. Beats the garbage I've been eating for the past several days. I miss my jelly-babies, that’s for sure." So we both cut up a slice of the cake. As Psyche was eating it, he knew there was something not right, so he spit out a piece of the cake, and there was pill inside. "What's this?"

"Just take it." I whispered.

"Take this pill?" he asked.

"Shhhh!" I shushed him. "Trust me." So Psyche swallowed the pill.

"Alright, now what?" he asked.

"Go outside and find a place to hide. Stay there until I show up." I whispered.

"I dunno, what's going on here, Flare?" he asked.

"Trust me, I know what to do. Just do it!" I whispered. Normally Psyche wouldn’t trust me, but he knew I had to know what I’m doing. I’ve been silent for so long. So Psyche nodded and he went outside and hid below the bleachers. He hid in there for a few hours, and of course he was bored, but he had to trust me. Suddenly I showed up with a sack.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg2FQaLUIp4

"There you are! Where have you been?" he asked.

"Just getting our belongings. I couldn't leave without my cell phone." I said. Then I took out a little magic-blocker key and removed the ring from my horn.

"Oh I get it! That stuff in the cake actually held supplies for us to escape!" Psyche said.

"Wow, took you that long to figure it out?" I teased.

"What do we do now?" Psyche asked.

"Now we wait." I said.

"But I've been waiting for a while." Psyche complained.

"Just wait." I said as my phone started vibrating. “Ah, Keith Pwni poked you! In fact this was the first poke he gave me all week. How odd.” I then tapped on my phone and said in a squeaky voice, “You poked Keith!”

“You know, Flare, at first, I didn’t think I was going to trust you, but now I know I can.” Psyche said. “You sure have redeemed yourself.”

“Thanks, brah! And now… we wait.” I said. So Psyche and I waited for several hours as the sun tick-tocked from the top of the sky to nearly sunset. “Is Celestia ok? The sun moved rather fast and weird and it made a ticking sound.”

“Yeah that happened once before the day Twilight was paranoid in needing to make a friendship report to her.” Psyche said. Just then, the voice of the warden on the intercom said that it was time to lockdown. All the prisoners went back into their cellblocks. "Wait, what will they think if we're not in our cells?" Psyche asked.

"I'm way ahead of you, buddy! See, there were also inflatable replicas of us in the cells, that won't know the difference!" I said.

A cutaway shows one of the bullies from before picking on our inflatable doubles. “Heh, look at you two! You’re softer than usual! Well I made myself a shiv because I feel like stabbing. That’s what prison does to criminal minds. They turn crazy! AH-HA!” the prisoner yelled as he stabs the inflatable me in the arm and the replica of me deflates. “Whoa! I only got you in the shoulder and it made you melt! They’re definitely going to expand my time here! What’s longer than life in prison again?” The cutaway ends.

"Now what?" Psyche asked.

"We wait until black.” I said.

"Wow, and I thought you were the one that didn't like waiting?" Psyche asked.

"I don't, but this is actually important." I said. So we waited until nightfall to come so we can plan our escape, but while we were waiting and the sun continued tick-tocking, Psyche and I played some Uno. "DRAW FOUR, BLUE!" I said, putting down a draw four card.

"Seriously?" Psyche asked feeling annoyed that he's losing.

"King me!" I yelled.

"Wait, is it nightfall?" Psyche asked.

"Yeah, but do we have to leave now? We're in the middle of a game." I asked.

"Let's go!" he said; and so, the both of us tip-hooved towards the fence, avoiding any of the search lights in the guard towers. "So how we gonna get out?"

"You can fly over the fence, but I doubt you can carry me, so I'm gonna have to dig." I said.

"But my wings are clipped remember?" Psyche asked.

"Uhh, Earth to Psyche? What did you think that pill from the cake was? You can fly again." I pointed out.

"Oh, why didn't you tell me?" Psyche asked.

"I thought you would've known." I said. So I activated my hornsaber and used that, combined with my rail-blast spell so I can make a hole through the ground so I can dig under the fence. We both got through the fence and we ended up right outside the prison. "Easy cheesy!" I said.

“I thought you said you were too tired to use your magic?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah that was a week ago.” I reminded him, but then suddenly, a spotlight shined on us, and the prison alarms turned on.

"FREEZE!" the watchtower guard yelled.

"RUN!" Psyche yelled, so then we both started running away from the prison as fast as we could. When they figured out that we were escaping, they sent a Cerberus to hunt for us and take us back. Psyche and I ran as fast as we could, but the years of sitting around and eating junk food got the best of me.

"Flare? Come on!" Psyche yelled as he ran back to me to pull my hoof so I can keep going.

"Go on without me, brah. I need to rest." I said.

"You can't rest yet! We have to find that crest in my mom's grave, and then we can go to the princesses, and they can fix this!" Psyche said.

"Dude, this is your mission, I'm just slowing you down." I said.

"No!" Psyche yelled as then he started pushing me and made sure I kept going.

"No! I don't wanna run anymore!" I whined. "I'm so tired!"

"TOO BAD! GO, FLARE!" Psyche yelled at me and kept pushing me. Just then suddenly, a giant shadowed covered us, and Psyche turned around and saw the Cerberus behind us. "Uhh, Flare? Now would be a good time to go."

"Why?" I asked. I turned around and saw Cerberus growling at us. One of them even drooled on us. When I figured out who was chasing us, I never felt so scared in my life! Not because it was big and it looked like it was gonna eat us, but it's a dog, and I REALLY DON'T LIKE DOGS!

"AAAAAAH DOG!" I screamed like a little girl.

"It's not just a dog! It's a Cerberus!" Psyche said.

"FORGET WHAT IT IS! IT'S A DOG! I REALLY DON'T LIKE DOGS! RUN!" I yelled as I regained my adrenaline and we both started running away as fast as we could.

"Wow that got your energy back quickly." Psyche pointed out. We continued running until the Cerberus jumped in front of us, and then Psyche and I stopped but before we could, our hooves were screeching against the ground like a hand break, and I knocked into him, and then we started running to the opposite directions. The Cerebus kept chasing us and jumping in front of us, but then I couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't run anymore, Psyche! It's just gonna keep chasing us!" I yelled. Psyche looked down on the ground and he saw a stick. He picked it up and started waving it at the Cerberus.

"Hey, hey boy!" Psyche said making kissing noises at the Cerberus.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"What you want, huh? Want you boy?" Psyche said to the Cerberus, waving the stick. "You want the stick boy? Huh? Want the stick?" The Cerberus was happy, and was looking at the stick, moving around. "Want the stick boy? GO GET IT!" Psyche throws the stick far away, and then the Cerberus chases it.

"Nice work, brah!" I said.

"Not nice work yet. We gotta get back into town." Psyche said.

“And which way is-“ I said but I got interrupted as Cerberus came back with the stick and he started panting at us. “Yeah we talked too long.”

Since we befriended Cerberus he gave us a ride back to Trottingham. I gave him a sack of bits as a tip. “Thanks for the ride! Don’t go spending it all on one place!”

“Oh boy! I’m gonna get a lifetime supply of doggy treats with this loot!” one of the Cerberus heads said.

“Are you kidding? A lifetime supply of squeaky toys is what we need!” the second head argued with the first head.

“Ok brothers, your ideas were ok, but they’re nothing compared to my idea.” The middle head said. “We’re going to buy out the post office, that way we get to chase all the mail ponies we want, and then maybe we’ll find some birthday cards with checks in them.”

So Psyche and I snuck through the streets, ditched our prison outfits and chains, and went back to our hotel room, safe and sound. Psyche and I laid down on the bed, catching our breath. "We.... we made it!" I said.

"Yeah, well, we're not in the clear yet. Time to find new disguises before we head back into the streets." Psyche said.

"Don't forget about the mustache this time." I said.

"And I won't forget about the mustache, Flare." he said.

“So Psyche you still didn’t tell me what sort of crimes you committed here and why you did them.” I said.

“I can’t say alright?” Psyche asked.

“There’s no use hiding it from me, brah. We both been in prison already. The court said you preformed crimes. What sort of crimes did you commit? What were you a criminal and why did you change?” I asked.

“You wanna know? Ok I’ll tell you.” Psyche said. “I had no choice. My mom and I were broke and I had to perform various crimes just to make a living. Think of it like GTA 4.”

“Makes sense to me.” I nodded.

“After my mom died and after I was banished from this town I had to start over from scratch, but then Princess Luna helped me get into a university to study Astronomy. I wouldn’t be who I am today thanks to her.”

“Well it would appear that Luna helped us both. I guess that’s why we’re both close to her.” I said.

“It would seem so, Flare, but I am no longer a criminal. These crooked cops wouldn’t just let it go.” Psyche said.

“Let it go! Let it gooooo!” I sang.

“Exactly.” Psyche said.

"So.... now what?" I asked.

"Well, I still have a job to do. Gotta find my family crest and give it to Princess Luna." he said.

"Family crest?" I asked. "What do you need a family crest for?"

"Well.... I didn't wanna tell you, but I will since you got us to escape." Psyche went on. "After my mother passed away, she holds a family crest, which is an ancient Equestrian artifact. That artifact can be used as a power source because it has 100,000 tons of magical energy. It can be used to power a bomb, or a super weapon, and it must not fall into the wrong hooves. I thought if we left it in my mom's grave, it would be safe, but I was wrong. Princess Celestia says that criminals are out to get it, so I have to get it, and bring it to the castle where it can be safe."

"Cool! Also, how we gonna get back home?" I asked. "The airport is full of security. They'll no doubt arrest us."

"I'll trade in our plane tickets for train tickets. I'll explain everything to Luna when we get back, and she'll take care of everything for us." he said.

"Sure thing! Let's go!" I said.

"You stay here, Flare. You've done enough." he said.

"C'mon, man! You'll be in trouble alone! Let me come!" I begged.

Psyche sighed and said, "If you stay quiet, maybe we won't be spotted." I nodded in agreement, because I know he saw my quiet before, for a whole week no less. So the two of us went back to the cemetery, but before we went back to his mom's grave, we saw Officer Penny Nickels standing on top of the grave, digging for what’s inside. When we got to him, the officer had the crest grasped on his hooves. "What the?" Psyche saw the officer, and he has the crest. "YOU!" Psyche yelled.

"Well, well, well! What do we have here! Escaped from prison? Very clever!" Officer Nickels said.

“Yeah hey, money!” I said.

"Nickels, that doesn't belong to you! Give it here!" Psyche ordered him.

"I know it doesn't belong to me. It belongs to my boss." Nickels said.

"Who's your boss?" I asked.

"None of your concern." he said.

"GIVE ME THAT CREST, NICKELS!" Psyche ordered him.

"You want it? You gotta catch me first!" he chuckled evilly, and then he shot me in the leg with a bee-bee gun and started running away.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c58UmsRkFCs

"FLARE!" Psyche called out at me as I laid down on the ground, holding onto my leg in pain.

"Sssssss! AAAAAAH! Sssssss! AAAAAAAAH! Ssssssss! AAAAAAAAH!” I panted and wheezed in pain.

“Are you ok?” Psyche asked.

"I'll be fine! This is your time to be the hero! Go get him!" I yelled at Psyche. He nodded, and then he started chasing after Nickels. Nickels attached himself to his police carriage and ran away. “If he’s running why does he need a carriage? Wouldn’t that slow him down?” I pointed out as I was still holding my leg in pain.

Psyche grabbed a pony carrying another carriage, and detached the pony from it. "Sorry, I need this." he said attaching himself to the carriage, and started chasing after the cop.

"YOU THIEF!" the pony that owned the carriage that Psyche stole cried. I dunno why Psyche had to get a carriage to chase after a cop, I mean it doesn't really make much of a difference; he's running regardless, the carriage is just dead weight. It was pretty funny seeing Psyche chase after a cop. Usually the cop is the chaser, not the chased. While Psyche was chasing him, I found the officer's wallet on the ground next to the dug-up grave, and there was something in there that explained everything.

“Why am I not surprised?” I asked myself.

Meanwhile, Psyche was chasing Officer Nickels through the Trottingham streets (okay, how many times do I have to say Psyche is chasing after the cop?). The cop tried knocking over other carriages and carts so he can lose Psyche, but Psyche was able to avoid all of them. The officer ran through a park, trying to lose Psyche, but he wasn't able to lose him there either, but Psyche was doing his best not to run anypony over. When the officer exited the park, Psyche followed, and he accidentally knocked over an ice cream carriage, and all the ice cream came out, and all the fillies and colts ran over to the tipped over carriage to collect all the ice cream.

"Hey everypony! Free ice cream!" a fat colt cried out.

Officer Nickels knew he couldn't lose Psyche, so he detached himself from the carriage and climbed on top of a truck. The police carriage was spinning out of control towards Psyche, so then Psyche detached himself from the carriage, hopped on top of the police carriage, and jumped on the truck along with Nickels.

"You won't stop me, Psyche! My boss needs this in order to take over Equestria!" Officer Nickels said to him.

"What you're doing is wrong, Nickels. You're a police officer! How can you do this?" Psyche asked.

"My boss is paying me big for this; I can quit the force for good, and you and your idiot friend won't do a thing to stop me!" he said.

"We'll see about that!" Psyche said. Then the two of them started fighting. After a little punching and bucking, the officer pushed Psyche over the edge, and he fell off the side. He held on the truck with one of his hooves and Nickels tried to step on his hoof so he would let go.

"Well Psyche, it's true! You're just as weak as your mother was!" Nickels said.

Psyche got really angry after he said that. "DON'T..... INSULT.... MY..... MOTHER!" Psyche grabbed Nickel's leg and pulled him off the truck. Nickels let go of the crest and it fell on top of the truck as he himself fell off the truck; after that Psyche pulled back on the truck and grabbed his crest.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS PSYCHE ILLUSION!" he yelled. “This is not over!”

"Yeah, I strongly doubt that." Psyche said and chuckled. He rode the truck through the streets of Trottingham, and then he hopped off as the truck carriage passed the hotel. He went back up to the room and heard water running in the bathroom.

"Flare?" Psyche said as he knocked on the door.

"I'm in the shower; I'll be out in a sec." I said. Psyche sat down on the bed, because he was exhausted, but before he laid down, he saw something familiar on the table. He went up to the table, and he saw it was his mom's necklace. Psyche was surprised, and then he smiled. When I got out of the shower, and went out to see Psyche. "Sup brah? Did you get the crest back?" I asked.

"I did." he said.

"Well, mission accomplished, cell buddy! We'll be heading back to Canterlot tomorrow, so we can give the princesses your crest!" I said. Then Psyche walked over to me and gave me a big hug.

"Tell anypony about this, and I'll kill you." he said.

"Uhhh, about what?" I asked in confusion.

"The hug. I normally don't hug stallions, but.... thank you." he said.

"For what?" I asked.

"You brought back my mom's necklace!" he said.

"You don't have any proof that it was me." I said. Just then Psyche smirked at me, then punched me in the shoulder and chuckled. "Alright, alright, it was me. I know how much that necklace meant to you, so I went down into the sewers and found it."

"But how? How did you get it so fast?" he asked.

"Just lucky I guess." I said and shrugged.

"You what, Flare? I was wrong about you." Psyche said with a smile. "When I first met you, I knew you were a nice pony, but I never thought you'd be in much help in... well... anything. But after your actions today, you've sure proved me wrong!"

"Looks like I get to have my head on another day!" I said. "Oh wait, I have something else."

"What is it?" Psyche asked. I took out Officer Nickel's wallet from the hotel desk and showed it to Psyche.

“I bet you’re as surprised as I am.” I said.

“Surprised at what?” Psyche asked.

“This is a jean cuff wallet. You don’t see many of these. They’re very rare.” I said.

“I see.” Psyche nodded.

“Also something in the wallet I wanted to show you that I was quite surprised to see.” I said as I placed my hoof inside Nickels’ wallet.

“What is it?” Psyche asked.

“Officer Nickels used to be fat and full of pimples! Look at his ID picture!” I showed Psyche.

“I know, I met him before. He was my parole officer after the crimes I committed here.” Psyche said. “Wait is that Officer Nickels’ wallet?”

“No it’s Queen Faust’s wallet.” I said sarcastically.

“Oh, and one more thing I want to show you inside the wallet that DIDN’T surprise me.” I said as I showed him a badge inside the wallet that showed a black circle with a red S.

"What does that logo mean?" he asked.

"You don't remember this logo? It belonged to that mysterious doctor, the same one from Chaos Mountains, and who hired Fonz." I said.

"So, he struck again. How come I'm not surpised?" Psyche asked.

"Looks like he has a plan to use that crest as a power source. We better keep it safe until we get back to Canterlot." I said.

"Agreed." he said.

"Then after all this, you can get back to researching Uranus!" I said.

"PLUTO! I'M RESEARCHING PLUTO! How many times do I have to say it?" he asked. “But… I’ll let you off this time… cell buddy!”

“Eeeeee!” I squeaked in happiness. “This was certainly an awesome vacation!”

“Yep, for a week in prison, it went along pretty well.” Psyche said.

“Yeah and for a dump like Trottingham, this place is STILL a dump.” I said.

Psyche chuckles a bit and said, “Oh Flare!”

“Oh me!” I said. “Hey Psyche, let’s not end every chapter staring you and me the same exact way.” And so we went back to Canterlot, and brought the crest to Princess Luna, but guess what? We had to wait in line at the trainstation, three times, and we had to wait in line to request audience with the princesses! Holy Wizard of Feelings, some vacation this was! I am so tired of these lines!

Magic Laws

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This chapter takes place during the Magic Duel episode, but I don't need to tell you that 'cause you'll find out. I was at Twilight's library with Crystal, Blaze, and Engie. I wanted to learn new magic spells as I was a bit tired of the same ol armor lock and laser spells, time to find something a little more badplot! For most of the time, I've just been yelling: "MAGIC LAWS! MAGIC LAWS! MAGIC LAWS! MAGIC LAWS!" While running around the room, saying them in random places, like through book shelves, under Twilight's bed, and I even said it in Owlowiscious’ face.

"Flare, what in tarnation are ya doin?" Engie asked.

"I'm yelling 'Magic laws' all around the room." I said.

"Why though?" Engie asked.

"I dunno I feel like it." I said and shrugged. “Dare to be stupid.”

"You and Pinkie are alike in so many ways, man." Blaze said.

"I think you two would make a great couple!" Crystal said.

"Whoa, let's not take things too far, sista! I'm not ready for a special somepony yet. I'd rather wait until the right MAGIC LAWS comes." I said.

"What?" Blaze asked.

"I said I'd rather wait until the right time comes." I said.

Blaze was confused about what I said. "But... you just said...."

"Aaaaaaaaand moving on." I said interrupting him. "C'mon, brahs! This spell won't learn itself! Seriously it won't, it's scenically impossible!"

"Listen to you, Flare! You're sounding like Twilight!" Crystal said.

"No, if I was sounding like Twilight, I'd just say 'WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS'!" I said.

"But you're saying that now." Crystal teased and winked at me.

I just looked back and forth and yelled, "D'OH!"

"C'mon Flare, ya wanna learn this new spell or not?" Engie asked.

"I dunno, brah. A 'changing an object into something else' spell? Sounds tough." I said.

“But you’ve done many spells that took a lot of energy before, man.” Blaze reminded me.

“Oooo listen to Blaze, a Pegasus that’s a unicorn expert.” Crystal teased. Blaze just gave Crystal an annoyed look.

“You think it was easy for me to use these spells? It took me my whole life to get SHOOP DA WHOOP working correctly. My first hundred tries of using that spell, I either put something on fire, burned myself, pushed myself back, or.... well there's so much I can't explain it all! What I'm saying is its not easy being a unicorn. You may think it looks easy, but it really isn't. Even hornsaber was hard for me! You know how long it took for Water to teach me water squirter? Holy Wizard of Hope, brah, magic spells aren't easy! Everytime I see Twilight do it, she makes it look simple. Armor lock and rail-blast was easy for me because SHOOP DA WHOOP is a pretty hard spell; it makes these spells look simple! Hey, proves you I ain't mary-sue, so shut up!” So I looked back into the book to check out that ‘Change any object into anything’ spell, and I probably can only change objects into something from a video game since all my spells are like that.

“C’mon, Flare! Ya can do it!” Engie said, cheering me on.

“You really think I can do this?” I asked.

“Ah found no doubt for a second.” Engie said. “You have more of a chance at bein’ successful at this spell than a Pegasus being able to lift pull a cart full of feathers.”

“WHOA, WHOA!” Crystal yelled in an insulted tone.

“Engie! Don’t take things out of proportion, man! Sheesh! That was mildly racist!” Blaze yelled.

“Mildly?” Engie asked.

“If you said all pegasi are like ducks then that would be heavily.” Crystal said.

“Well regardless, ah have the feelin’ you’d be able to do this, Flare.” Engie said.

“Crystal, Blaze, what do you say?” I asked.

“Quit talking and start sparking!” Crystal demanded.

“What? Was my word not enough?” Engie asked.

“Kay kay.” I said. I looked around to see which object to change, and so I took a look at the trash bin near Twilight’s desk; I aimed my horn towards it, and it start glowing. My friends just watched as I was struggling to change that trash bin into something, but then my rail-blast spell activated and it just punted the bin. “See? See? I can’t do it!”

“Yes you can, Flare! It’s a simple spell!” Blaze said.

“How do you know? You’re not a unicorn like me.” I said, as I looked down and frowned. “When I see Twilight do it, it looks so easy!”

“Believe me, before I started the Wonderbolts, when I watched my dad perform, it looked so easy when he did it, but when I did it, I just keep failing. Now look at me, I’m a wonderbolt myself, and I can do a sonic fireboom, just like Spitfire!” Blaze said.

“Oh shush, I never seen Spitfire do anything like that, you liar!” I corrected him.

“Ok maybe not, but still, you get my point.” Blaze said.

“Yeah your point is that when you give me advice, you lie which makes the advice seem useless.” I said.

“Besides, look at all the spells yer doin’, partner. Y’all got more spells in that horn of yours than Aqua or Rarity!” Engie said.

“I sometimes wish I didn’t. Makes me feel superior.” I said. “I don’t like that. That’s why I don’t like to be called SIRRRRRRRRR!”

“We all have those days, Flare. Including me because I am superior!” Crystal yelled. Engie and Blaze glared at her. “Don’t give me those looks. If there’s something on my face, just tell me.”

“Now try the spell again, Flare. Ya can do it!” Engie said.

“Hmm, I guess it’s worth a shot.” I said and shrugged. So I looked at the jar of ink that was on Twilight’s desk; I aimed my horn towards it, and my horn started to glow as I attempted to turn that ink into something. I’ve been attempting for at least 45 seconds, and my friends just kept watching. “You know, staring at me doesn’t really help.” I said to them. So all my friends just covered their eyes (Blaze covered them with his hooves, Crystal covered them with her wings, and Engie just pressed a button on the side of his goggles to make shutters go down on his goggles so he wouldn’t see), but they all snuck a peek because they didn’t want to miss out. As I was continuing to struggle with my magic as I attempted to turn the jar of ink into something else, I eventually ended up turning the jar of ink into the Spy’s butterfly knife from TF2.

“YOU DID IT, MAN!” Blaze yelled, running up to me. “I knew you could do it!”

“Do what?” I asked.

“I thought I asked you not to watch? You all were peeking weren’t you?” I asked.

“Umm… well….” Blaze stuttered.

“Yeah Blaze, why did you have to peek?” Crystal asked him nervously.

“Yeah the nerve of some ponies.” Engie agreed.

“Oh shut up.” Blaze said angrily at them.

“But still, partner, you did it!” Engie said excitedly.

“Did what?” I asked.

“You changed that ink into…… wait, what did he change it into?” Blaze asked.

“Ah recognize this knife anywhere. It’s the spy’s.” Engie said.

“Way to go Flare!” Crystal yelled in excitement.

“Why are you way to going me? That’s nothing!” I said.

“You were able to change an object into somethin’ else! Ya did it!” Engie said excitedly.

“That’s nothing! That’s just a knife!” I complained.

“That’s not just a knife, man; it’s a knife you made!” Blaze said as he gave it to me. I touched the end of the knife, and I was quite disappointed.

“It’s not even sharp.” I pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter. You were able to master this spell! Congratulations, man! Up high!” Blaze ye;;ed holding his hoof up. I didn’t give him a high-hoof though, I just gave him an annoyed look. “Don’t be upset, man! Practice makes perfect right?”

“I practiced! That’s why I’m perfect! I’m the master of perfection!” Crystal said.

“Ah’d say Rarity is.” Engie said.

“But I’m probably only able to make small objects from games! I wanna make something big, like the Big Daddies from Bioshock, the Scarab from Halo, the Strider from Half-Life, the Makron from Quake, or even the Iron Maiden from Gears of War! I wanna make cool stuff like that!” I said.

“Spells like that take time, bro.” Blaze said putting his arm around me. “Look, let’s try this again. How about something bigger than a knife, but still small?”

“Well, Psyche likes the Earthbound game. He’s been wanting that game for ages, but we can’t find it anywhere.” I said.

“Alright! Well, what kind of object from that game do you want to use?” Blaze suggested.

“I don’t know that game well, but the only small enemy I can remember is the coil snake. I’m not sure what it does, but with me as a beginner in this spell, it probably won’t be alive.” I said.

“Coil snake it is then!” Blaze agreed. So I looked around to see what other useless stuff I can use a spell on, and I found a crumbled up piece of paper near Twilight’s telescope. So I aimed my horn towards it, and my horn started glowing. I did my best to change that paper into a coil snake, but then my spell gets interrupted as Twilight’s library turns upside down and starts shaking. The four of us fell down onto the ceiling, which probably doesn’t make sense, but it does in this case since the tree is upside down. Owlowiscious flies out of the house to catch any of the falling books and the four of us just banged from wall to wall all over the library as it was shaking, but then finally, the house went back to normal, but it was a mess in here! Crystal had her head inside the toilet in the bathroom, Blaze was under a pile of books, Engie landed on Spike’s bed with Spike’s pet phoenix PeeWee on his nose, and I landed on Twilight’s desk.

“Ooooh. Is everypony alright?” Blaze asked, rubbing his head.

“Fine.” Crystal said, spitting out toilet water from her mouth. “I guess this is what you call toilet humor.” The punch-line drum beat played in the background after she said that. Engie flicked PeeWee off his nose and went back downstairs to meet with us.

“What in Luna’s name was that all about?” Engie asked.

“Flare, why did you just turn the library upside down and shake it?” Crystal asked.

“Why are you blaming me? I didn’t do it!” I corrected her as I got up from the desk and the butterfly knife I created was jabbed into my vest pocket. The other’s screamed after they saw the knife there, thinking I was stabbed in the chest. “What’s wrong?”

“The knife!” Crystal yelled, and then Engie screamed like a little girl and fainted.

“Oh this?” I asked as I took the knife out. “Thank the Wizards that it didn’t kill me. Luckily for me, my wallet in my vest pocket saved my life. Thank you, wallet.” I said to my wallet, patting it. Crystal flies reaches my hoof into my pocket, takes the wallet, and tears up.

“Oh you poor wallet. It was so young, and so not ready. It looked brand new and now…… it sacrificed it’s life to save yours. This wallet will never be forgotten. But….. why? WHY?! WHHHHHYYYYY?!” Crystal yelled and started crying all over it. Blaze and Engie just looked at eachother, confused.

“Crystal, relax!” Blaze advised her. “It’s only an object; it wasn’t alive in the first place!”

“EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!” Crystal yelled in his face.

“Blaze don’t be rude to my wallet.” I ordered him.

“But it’s not alive, how can it die?” Blaze asked.

“I’ll let you know, brah, that that wallet saved my life, I owe it a debt of gratitude!” I said. I took my wallet from Crystal and held it up high. “Three cheers for my wallet! HIP-HIP….”

“Hurray!” Crystal yelled.

“Hip-hip…” I said.

“Hurray!” Crystal yelled.

“Hip-hip….” I said. “C’mon Blaze and Engie, join in!”

They both sighed and said, “Hurray.” But with an annoyed tone.

“Wow, you two need to learn some gratitude, even to objects!” I advised them. Suddenly after that, Psyche and Aqua came into the library.

“Flare, Crystal, guys!” Aqua said. “Ya guys alright? We saw Trixie turning the tree upside down, and we wanted to check up on ya.”

“Yeah we’re fine.” Engie said. “Why didn’t ya say my name or Blaze’s name? Ya only said Flare and Crystal? What? You like them better than us or somethin’?”

“Wait, Trixie?” Crystal asked “That same Trixie from the Unicorn Games?”

“Trixie? You mean that same Trixie from the Unicorn Games?” I asked.

“Exactly!” Aqua said.

“Aww, I remember that day.” Crystal said as she smiled. “That was the day we met Aqua for the first time!”

“But that Trixie was just a robot made by the mysterious doctor.” I said.

“Yeah well now the real Trixie is here, and I assure you that she is NOT a robot.” Psyche said.

“I wasn’t around during the Unicorn Games, what happened?” Blaze asked.

“Flare, Twilight, Rarity, and I entered the Unicorn Games last year, until Trixie came around. After she cheated and harmed Lyra, Flare threatened Trixie and told her never to come back.” Aqua explained.

“And let’s not forget the first time the real Trixie was here.” Engie reminded us.

“None of us were around then though.” Psyche reminded him.

“Looks like she came back for a little payback!” Blaze said as he banged his hooves together.

“MAGIC LAWS! MAGIC LAWS!” I yelled.

“What?” Psyche asked.

“He’s been sayin that all mornin.” Engie said.

“Ah.” Psyche understood.

“So, Trixie came back, huh? You’re sure she’s not a robot?” I asked.

“This one looked pretty real, and I did not see any of the doctor’s logos on her.” Aqua said. “Although she was wearing a strange necklace.

“What kind of necklace?” Blaze asked.

“Is it pretty?” Crystal asked.

“I’m not sure.” Aqua said.

“You’re not sure if it’s pretty?” Crystal asked.
“No, I wasn’t sure what that necklace was. Was it pretty? I guess, but something about Trixie doesn’t seem right.” Aqua said.

“I think we should go check it out.” Psyche suggested.

“Agreed, let’s go!” Engie said.

“But hang on, one more thing.” Crystal interrupted. “I don’t think Flare’s wallet is a hero after all. That knife wasn’t even sharp so it shouldn’ve killed Flare in the first place!” Crystal grabbed my wallet and yelled at it, “You big phoney!” and then threw on the ground.

“Hey!” I yelled as I picked up my wallet and held it close to me. “Just because it’s not a hero doesn’t mean its right to insult it!”

“Oh shush, Flare, it’s just a wallet, it doesn’t have feelings.” Crystal reminded me, even though that’s a lot coming from her. No I didn’t mean that like she doesn’t have any feelings, I meant that in… umm… another way, I… I forgot what I was saying so nevermind.

So after that little episode, we all ran outside to check out the duel that was going on between Trixie and Twilight. We arrived at the part when Trixie turned Snips into a foal and Snails into an old stallion. Twilight was shocked to see that happen, and she knew she lost. So Trixie pushed her out of town and created that giant bubble that blocked Ponyville from the outside world.

“Ok I’m officially confused right now.” Crystal said.

“Yeah same here.” Blaze said. “What was all that about?”

“Ah agree. The way Trixie created that force field bubble it looked so easy.” Engie said. “Remember when Twilight created that force field around her house to keep out the crusaders?”

“No but I remember how tired Shining Armor was when he created that giant force field around Canterlot.” I said.

“And I remember Rarity saying how tired Princess Cadance was when she created a giant force field around the Crystal Empire.” Crystal said.

“What’s with unicorns and their force fields?” Psyche asked.

“I can’t make a force field. All I can make is a temporary bubble shield to protect myself but not a town.” I said.

“I can shield myself with water but that’s about it.” Aqua said.

“Yeah obviously, Aqua.” Crystal said.

“Mmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm!” Pinkie yelled.

“I know Pinkie, but maybe it’s not tense, maybe it’s elevence, or twelevece.” Crystal said.

“Mmm-mmm-mmm. Mmmmm!” Pinkie said.

“Oh yeah? Well I think you’ll need the correct amount of popsicle sticks to make one.” Crystal said.

“Mmm-mmm-mmm!” Pinkie said

“I know, mmm-mmm-mmm indeed! I love cinnamon rolls!” Crystal said.

“Trixie took it, we saw the whole thing. That monster ruined my mane!” Rarity complained.

“And my wing!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“And our age.” Snips said. “But we didn’t mind all that much.”

“Ehh, my spine aches.” Snails complained.

“But how?” Blaze asked.

“Allow me to explain.” Psyche said.

“Yeah nopony cares, Psyche.” I said to him.

“Ah think ah can explain this whole tragic error.” AppleJack said.

“Let’s hear it, Jackie!” I said. Psyche just glared at me, but I did not know why, but you probably do. So AppleJack explained all that went on, about with Trixie returning and such, and all about that duel, and how Trixie bullied everypony. I don’t need to go into detail though cause you probably already know how it turned out.

“Mmm-mmmm!” Pinkie said.

“Pinkie’s right. That mare has gone too far this time!” Rainbow yelled.

“How can you all speak mumble?” Psyche asked.

“Well, the time has come to try a few things. We gotta find a way to stop Trixie!” AppleJack said.

“Well, maybe we don’t have to be so hasty about it.” Fluttershy said nervously.
“Are you kidding?” Rainbow yelled in Flutters’ face. “One of our enemy’s from our past has taken over the town, and she’s going to make us suffer if we don’t do something about it!”

“But…. Maybe she might be a little too powerful to handle.” Flutters said.

“Sugarcube, what about yer animal friends? They’ll be trapped under this bubble forever if we don’t do something, and fast.” AppleJack said, trying to comfort Fluttershy.

“So are we gonna take that mare down or what?” Rainbow asked, putting her hoof in.

“Oh, it is on!” Rarity said mischievously, putting her hoof on top of Rainbow’s.
“Let’s do it!” AppleJack yelled, putting her hoof on top of Rarity’s.

“Mmhm!” Pinkie mumbled, putting her hoof on top of AJ’s.

“You Nobles gonna help us or not?” Rainbow asked.

“Yeeeeah about that. I have flight training today.” Blaze excused himself.

“Yeah, and I have a project that’s due.” Psyche excused himself

“Somepony’s gotta make sure the water’s still running ‘round here.” Aqua excused himself.

“Not to mention electricity.” Engie excused himself.

“And I have to head back to the shop.” I excused myself.

“I just don’t wanna help.” Crystal excused herself.

“Fine, we can handle things on our own.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah, at least we’re not lazy or scared like you.” Rarity teased and giggled.

“Heeeeey!” Crystal complained. “Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you have to point that out!”

“Let’s go kick some magic mare plot!” Rainbow yelled, and then her, Rarity, AppleJack, and Pinkie ran off, but Flutters just covered her face, and walked really slowly.

“Is it me or was it what Rainbow said seemed awkward?” I asked.

“What are we waitin for?” Engie asked.

“I have no idea.” Aqua said. So I walked alone towards my shop cause I had to work to do and on the way, I saw Trixie picking on the other ponies. I saw my friend, and Crystal’s coltfriend, Black Thunder, skateboarding on some bike railings and market stands. Trixie came by, and used her magic to add rockets on his skateboard, and then he was riding real fast and crashed into another market stand. Trixie laughed.

“You call that skateboarding? Please!” Trixie teased.

"THUNDER!" I yelled, and ran to him. "You alright, brah?"
"Hey, I've been through worse." Thunder said, rubbing his head. “This one time, I-“

“Ok I just asked you if you were alright,” I interrupted him; “I didn’t say I was interested in your stories.” Up ahead I saw Trixie laughing evilly.

"Now that wasn't very nice!" I said to Trixie. "Apologize to my bro."

"Oh okay, Trixie's sorry..." Trixie said to Thunder. "… Sorry that you're gonna see how that skateboard feels about getting rode on and crashed all the time." Trixie chuckled, and then put the skateboard to life.

“How is that even funn- OW!” Thunder yelled as the skateboard removed it’s wheels and landed on Thunder’s back. The skateboard wheels then magically get placed under Thunder and the skateboard starts riding Thunder away like it’s Opposite Day.

"Wow, a bring to life spell. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two." I said impressively.

"Hmm, maybe, maybe not." Trixie said. "What can you do?" Just then, I pushed her back using my rail-blast spell.

"I call that, Rail-blast! You like?" I asked.

"Oh please! Whatever anypony can do, Trixie can do better." she said as she copies my rail-blast spell to push me further back, but then dragging me forward then up and down.

As she let go of me, stars were spinning around my head, but when I finally came back to my senses, I said to her, “You know, I met you once before. You were a robot by the mysterious doctor.”

“Trixie isn’t interested in your fairy tales.” Trixie said.

“FARIES!? Did you say fairies?” Denzel Crocker asked excitedly.

“I said fairy-tales you dweeb.” Trixie corrected him.

“Eh close enough.” Crocker shrugged. “You know Ponyville’s like a second home to me. You being called Trixie and you’re nosy, and there’s a purple unicorn around here that sounds like one of my students.”

“Ah-ha, not interested.” Trixie said as she uses her magic to push Crocker away.

"Hey I like you're necklace! Can I try it on?" I asked as I was about to grab her necklace, but then she used her magic to use my own hoof to slap away my other hoof trying to grab her amulet.

"DON'T TOUCH!" she ordered. "This is not a necklace, this is an amulet."

"Necklace, amulet, same thing." I said.

"Hmm, what do you do for a living?" Trixie asked me.

“I don’t die that’s for sure.” I chuckled. Trixie then uses her magic to grow a mustache on my face.

“I don’t have time for games!” Trixie said angrily at me.

“Is she a mermaid?” Patrick Star asked.

"Ok if you must know what I do for a living, I make pizzas!" I said.

"Make me 500 pizzas, with pineapple on it." Trixie said.

"500 PIZZAS?!" I yelled in excitement. "OH YES! Definitaly! Coming right up, sista! Also have you noticed you sound a lot like Queen Chrysalis?”

“MOVE IT!” Trixie demanded.

“Hey who cares? 500 pizzas I get to make! What a charming customer!” I said excitedly.

"Flare, you're not actually gonna believe her, are you?" Blaze asked.

"You, quiet!" Trixie demanded Blaze, changing the color on his wonderbolt outfit from blue to red.

"HEY!" Blaze yelled.

“Hey? You look better that way, brah. You’re dressed like the Flash!” I pointed out.

"You're a draconian right? Pfft! Worthless, weak, and should be extinct." Trixie said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Blaze yelled as he flew fast towards Trixie's face. "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY RACE?! THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO YOU KNOW!" Then suddenly, Trixie turned Blaze into a snail.

"Whatever Trixie says, is what goes." Trixie said, and chuckled. I wasn't really there to see Blaze's transformation, I was too busy making the pizzas for her, and I know karma’s going to strike her down pretty soon. Took me a long time to get these pizzas done, and I didn't have time for the other customers. Well, while you're waiting for me to get done, let's see what the other Nobles did with Trixie. Well, Trixie made Aqua become her personal water fountain at the town pool, along with my sister Water, and a few other unicorns, as she relaxes on a inflatable tube, drinking lemonade with a little umbrella on it.

“I’m getting itchy!” Water complained.

“Quiet!” Trixie yelled as she stones my sister. “Statues don’t talk!”

“I think I need an adult.” The statue of Water commented. Aqua started to get a bit aggravated, and it usually takes a lot to get him like that.

“Go ahead, SAY SOMETHING! I dare you!” Trixie dared Aqua. Aqua was able to hold his tongue, but he really wasn’t liking what Trixie’s been doing to his friends.

After that, Trixie made Crystal and Psyche use their wings to cool her off, even though the sun isn't really shining after she added that big bubble around Ponyville. Crystal was getting bored with fanning Trixie, so she decided to sing a little tune.

“Look what’s happened to me… I can’t believe it myself.” Crystal sang.

“Suddenly I’m up on top of the world,” Psyche joined along, “and it should’ve been somebody else.”

“Oh believe it or not, I’m walking on air,” Psyche and Crystal both sang, “I never thought I could feel so free. Flying away on a wing and a prayer – who could it be? Believe it or not, it’s just meeeeee.” After that we were silent for a few seconds.

“Why did you two stop?” Trixie asked. “I liked that, continue!”

“I can sing Whitney Houston next.” Crystal said.

“No just sing that other song over and over and over.” Trixie said.

“Why? Doesn’t it get boring to you?” Psyche asked.

“Good point.” Trixie agreed. “Sing it again but 2x times fast, then 3x fast, then 4x, then 5x, ect.”

“You had to open your mouth on that, huh Psyche?” Crystal asked.

“I can’t sing too fast, it’ll give me an asthma attack.” Psyche said.

“If you don’t do it, I’ll turn you into a mule.” Trixie threatened him.

“Good. At least I won’t die.” Psyche said.

“Ok you asked for it.” Trixie said as she uses her magic on Psyche, but surprisingly, Psyche didn’t change a bit.

“Oh that’s right, he’s already a mule!” Crystal said as she laughed.

“Stop laughing and SING!” Trixie demanded.

After that Trixie even made Engie build giant transformer-like robots to fight while she relaxes. Once one of the transformers gets destroyed while fighting Trixie cheers, “Yay! Bravo! Bravo! Ok Engineer, build them again, Trixie wants see it again!”

“Ah’ve been rebuildin’ these robots for 6 hours! Ah gotta use the potty!” Engie said.

“Trixie’s not done yet. Rebuild them!” Trixie demanded.

“Canchya just rebuild them yerself with yer magic?” Engie asked.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie has no time to waste her brilliant magic spells on junky robots.” Trixie said.

“Junky robots that were made out of the same metal that used to be the oil refinery?” Engie asked as he pointed to the destroyed transformer and saw it leaking oil. “Why couldn’t we just use parts from the junk yard?”

“I already ordered that boring green unicorn to make a knight army with all of those parts.” Trixie said.

A cutaway shows the ‘boring green unicorn’ building the knight army out of the junk from the junk yard, and that ‘boring green unicorn’ turned out to be Keith. “I’m building a knight army out of useless parts from the junk yard. I don’t have a mental problem.” He said. The cutaway ends.

After many hours, I finally got all the pizzas done. So I went over to town hall, where Trixie's making the poor ponies in Ponyville make them do ridculous stuff. “How long do I have to stay in this cage? I have to freshin’ up.” Mayor Mare, whom was inside a cage, said.

“Ok if one more pony says they need to use the bathroom, I’m turning them into a urinal!” Trixie said.

“How do you know what a urinal looks like?” Psyche asked her.

"Here you are, Trixie! 500 pineapple pizzas, baked to perfection!" I smiled and squeed at her.

"Well done!" Trixie said, as she then used her magic to maker herself huge. She grew to the size of King-Kong, and then she smashed all my pizzas that I worked so hard for. I gasped, fell on me knees, and studdered. "What's wrong? Did Trixe ruin your pizzas?" Trixie then shrunk back to her original size and I continued studdering.

"But... I... Eh.... Ah..... You just..... Eh..... Ooo.... Eeee.... Ooo-ah-ah.... ding.... dang.... wala-bing-bang.... But..... I.... O.... M.... G..... B.... B.... Q...... AAAAAAAAH!"

"Trixie would like 500 more pizzas please?" Trixe asked me.

"MY PIZZAS AIN'T TOYS! They're meant to be eaten!" I yelled.

"Snips and Snails will eat them after I crush them." Trixie said as she then she took out a bell and ringed it. "Feeding time!" and then Snips and Snails came over and started eating all the crushed pizzas like pigs.

"Whatever. Before I make the pizzas, I'll need a little something in return." I said, taking out a calculator, pressing the buttons on it.

"What could Trixie possibly owe a weak little unicorn like yourself?" she asked.

"4,000 bits." I said.

"Excuse me?" Trixie asked feeling insulted.

"4,000 bits, pay up, sista!" I said, holding out my hoof. "I can accept checks or credit too."

"Trixie is not paying a single bit." she said.

"I worked hard to make those pizzas! Gimmie me money, arrrgh!" I said, speaking like a pirate.

"Flare, no. You don't know what you're getting yourself.” Psyche advised me.

"Trixie rules Ponyville now.” Crystal said.

"I could care less. Pay up, Trixie." I ordered her.

"You dare vile the Great and Powerful Trixie?" she yelled at my face,as she used her magic to make her neck longer so she could reach my face.

"Look, sista, I have policy, and I make a living." I said giving her a look.

"HEY! You think Flare isn't as strong as you, if not stronger? How about a magic duel? Right here, right now!" Crystal yelled.

"Crystal what are you doing?" Psyche asked.

"Yeah Crystal, you're not a unicorn! How can you duel her?" I reminded her.

"No Flare, you!" Crystal correted me.

"What about me?" I asked.

"Challenge Trixie to a magic duel!" Crystal said.

"Don't do it Flare! She beat Twilight!" Aqua reminded me as he tried to unstone my sister.

“I should’ve made a funny pose before getting stoned like this.” Water said.

"So? Does Trixie have any of the spells I have? Does she have flare, water squirter, horn saber, bubble shield, or even armor lock?" I asked.

"I assume so." Aqua said.

"Well we'll see about that! Ready to get it on, sista?" I asked her.

"Very well. Let's see who's the more powerful unicorn." Trixie said mischievously.

"I already know the answer to that, and it's Rarity!" I yelled.

"Aww, thank you, darling." Rarity said as she blushed.

"But I'm better than you, Trixie, that's for sure! I bet you don't even lift! Ooooooooh!" I said.

"Actually Trixie does." Trixie said using her magic to move around Blaze, still in his snail form.

"Hey! You can't do that to snail Blaze!" I yelled at him.

"Oh yeah?" Trixie asked.

"Not without salt." I said.

"Don't encourage her, man!" Blaze yelled.

"Good idea." Trixie said, looking mischievously at Blaze.

“Where are my jelly-babies? I need my jelly-babies!” Psyche started to freak out.

“Are you obsessed with those now?” Crystal asked.

"Uhh, aren't y’all gonna duel or what?" Engie asked.

"Flare's doomed, that's for sure." Psyche said.

“Yeah thanks for the enthusiasm, Psyche.” I said sarcastically at him.

“It’s what I do.” Psyche teased.

“You should take his word for that, pizza pony.” Trixie warned me.

"You may say that now, but you'll be eating those words, 'cause the good pony always wins!" I said. "And now, feel the wrath of my-" But before I could finish, Trixie used her magic to turn me into a giant frog. "Ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit!" I kept saying, but then I saw a fly, and caught it with my tongue and continued ribbiting at Trixie, but Trixie just rolled her eyes and turned me back to normal, 'cause she was annoyed by all the ribbiting. So after she turned my back into pony form I said, "... and another thing, ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit, and ribbit!"

"Why are you still ribbiting? Trixie turned you back to normal!" Trixie said.

"Well Trixie, you still think you're one of the popular fillies in Dimmsdale Elementary?" I asked.

"What?" Trixie asked confused.

"I never liked you popular kids! Going on, thinking you're better than everypony else, and your friend Veronica is crazy!" I said.

"What are you talking about?" Trixie asked.

"I'm talking about, PEW!" I yelled, shooting my laser blast spell at Trixie, and it hit her mane. Trixie gasped.

"NOPONY MESSES WITH THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" she yelled.

"Wow, it's a good thing I decided not to speak in third-person, it really does sound weird." I said. So Trixie glared at me, and then she used a spell that turned me into a chicken.

"Wow, nice job Trixie, for turning me into a cock-a-doole-doo." I said.

"You're a chicken, not a rooster." snail Blaze corrected me.

"Let's try this!" I said as I then I activated my hornsaber and I charged towards Trixie. "CHICKEN CHARGE! BA-CAWK!" I yelled, but before I could hit her with hornsaber, she used some sort of shield spell, and I slammed towards it like it was a wall. My face flattens right so I laid on the ground with chicken wings flying over my head, and making a chicken sound. Trixie started laughing.

"You fool, you think you could mess with Trixie's magic? I think we're about finished here." she said.

"No! We're just getting started!" I yelled. "Let me teach you a little bit about what the seaponies say: SHOOP SHOOP DA WHOOP!" I yelled as I was charging my lazor at Trixie, but then she used a spell to turn my shoop spell into a cream soda spell, so cream soda poured out of my horn, and Trixie opened her mouth and drank it.

"Mmm mmm mmm!" she said, licking her lips.

“Mmm-mmm-mmm.” Pinkie mumbled in an annoyed tone.

"Trixie does enjoy a little cream soda fountain.” Trixie said.

"GO FLARE!" Crystal yelled. "You still have one more spell that'll show her!"

"Huh? Oh right!" I just remembered. "You think you could defeat me that fast, great and powerful pixie dust?"

"It's not pixie dust, it's Trixie, and to be honest, not many ponies are still in the game after this long, so Trixie will give you that." she said. I looked at AppleJack mashing all the apples in that barrel to make apple sauce, and I knew what to do now.

"Hey Jackie? Ya think I could use one of your apples?" I asked.

"If ya think it'll help." AJ said, throwing me one of her apples. I put the apple on the ground, and stared at it.

"Well let's see how you like dem apples!" I yelled.

"Oh please, that phrase is old." Trixie said as she waved her hoof downward.

"I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to the apple!" I said as I then looked down at the apple again. "You won't be an apple for much longer, my friend, because you're gonna be turned into.... the masamune from Chrono Trigger!"

"The what?" Aqua asked.

"The masamune from Chono Trigger." Psyche said to him. "It's a sword."

"I know what it is, I just don't think it's gonna be much help." Aqua said. So I aimed my horn at the apple, and my horn started to glow, and I was gonna turn it into the masamume. The spell worked, well kinda, the apple actually turned into a baseball bat, like the ones used on GTA. Not just that, it was made of rubber, and it squeaked. Trixie laughed once again.

"Is that the best you got?" Trixie asked as she then grabbed another apple from AJ's barrel, placed it on the ground, and got herself in position. "Trixie doesn't really play video games, but Trixie is still better in every way possible!" So she used her magic to turn the apple into Bowser!

"LAWL WHAT?!" I yelled.

"WHOA SNPPLE SNAP!" Crystal yelled. Everypony in the room was in shock.

"Looks like Trixie beat you in your game!" Trixie said and laughed. “No pun intended.” I just stood there in shock as my jaw just fell on the floor, that's how shocked I was. Trixie continued laughing, then she said; "Now, how about the next batch of 500 FREE pizzas!" She continued to laugh, and then I just sadly looked down and walked out of town hall. Everypony felt bad, but then Trixie ordered everypony to get back to work. As I was sadly walking back to my shop to make Trixie those pizzas, I mumbled to myself, “Weak magic. That’s all I have is weak magic. I don’t wish to be OP, but how am I supposed to be amazing if all I do is weak magic?”

And so, I went back to the shop to make those pizzas, but I wasn't happy about it. Look, I knew Trixie had better magic than me, and even Twilight does, but I never thought she could beat me at a video game related magic; it's just not possible! I'm the one that does all dem video game magics 'round here! Someday, I'll get her back, I know it! As stubborn as I am, I wish to get better at the magic I have. I want to be truly amazing. I want to be great and powerful! Ok, that… umm… that, ok I didn’t realize what I was saying. Let’s not forget what’s important. I will learn to get better at my magic, I just need time. I just have to remember that. Just remember: patience. “I wanna get better at magic and I want to right now!” I yelled, forgetting everything I just said just now.

A few more hours went by and I finished making the pizzas. When I got back outside, I saw everypony congratulating Twilight, and the town wasn't covered in a big fish bowl anymore. What just happened? I have no idea! I was as confused as a rabbit in a bull trail. Wow, listen to me, I'm sounding like AppleJack. So I went over to see what all the fuss was about, Twilight said the whole story to me, and how her magic came from the alicorn amulet, the one Trixie was wearing.
"So let me get this straight. Whichever unicorn wears this amulet would gain badplot magical powers?" I asked.

"That's right, Flare, and somepony's going to have to take this amulet somewhere where nopony can get it." Twilight said.

"May I wear it?" I asked with a cute smile.

"Nope, sorry Flare. This amulet is way too dangerous. It'll corrupt your mind." she said.

"Oh it can't be that bad!" I said.

"It is! Did you see how Trixie was acting?" Rainbow asked.

"Not really." I said.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" snail Blaze asked. So Twilight turned Blaze back to his original self, but since snail Blaze was on Rainbow Dash’s shoulder, he kinda crushed her when he turned back. "Wow, one thing's for sure, I'll never want to be a snail again! I like salt." I just kept staring at Alicorn amulet of it's beauty and power, and I had to have it! It must be the answer to my magic problems!

“I must have it!” I mumbled to myself. “I must have.... the precious! Ooooo the precious! Well at least I didn’t need this dirty ring anymore.” I said as I then removed an ancient ring from my horn and threw aside, and as I watched as Twilight give the alicorn amulet to a couple of royal guards, and after they placed it in a magical chest. I kept wanting.... the precious, but I couldn't get it alone. Something needed to be done. So I sold all my pineapple pizzas in a fairly cheap price to a merchant that stopped by town before Trixie took over, and I felt so relieved that I didn’t need to waste all those pizzas I made for her, but then I suddenly realized what else I needed to do.

As time went by, the royal guards were about to place the amulet at the Canterlot museum for display. "Ah, our precious treasure is finally here!" a historian said.

"Where do you want this, sir?" a guard asked.

"Over there, I got a display ready to go." the historian said, pointing to an empty display case. So the guards unlocked the chest, and it was hard to unlock since the chest had three locks, which required 3 different keys. So they opened the chest, brought out the amulet and placed it gently inside the display.

“Ah excellent! The ancient history of the Alicorn Amulet shall bring in MILLIONS to observe it!” the historian said excitedly.

“Well we’re glad to be in service.” One of the guards said. “Just make sure it doesn’t get stolen. It must not fall into the wrong hooves.”

“Oh relax, my good chap. This museum has such an advanced security system, not even YOUR technician crews can hack this place!” the historian said.

“Well that goodness for that.” One of the guards said.

“Uhh… yeah…. O-of course.” The unicorn guard said upsettingly.

"Wait!" the historian cried. "Something's not right about this amulet." The historian took the amulet and observed it.

"Uh, is there a problem, sir?" a guard asked.

"Yes, indeed there is!" the historian said. "As I recall, this amulet wasn't made in Chimpa." Chimpa is where all the toys and special nic-nacs were made, and it's runned by chimps, over at a kingdom in the other side of the world known as Aperica.

"So, what it's made in Chimpa?" a guard asked.

“No reason, no reason whatsoever. It’s an antique.” The historian said. “Now let’s keep this amulet here safe and sound in this high security display case. NO ONE will be able to get to it! Anyways, time to close down for the night.” So the historian and the guards all left the museum and activated all security systems right before they locked down. You know how much I want that necklace, and I’d go out of there and break the law just to at least try it out, but am I going to actually steal it from this high-security museum? No, of course not. I don’t need to, because I already snatched the real amulet right before the amulet left Ponyville, and I replaced it with this fake one.

Back in Ponyville, Snips and Snails were sneaking through town with a mysterious case. They hid behind bushes and market stalls, trying to avoid everypony, and to avoid doing anything suspicious. but of course, it's Snails and Snips, they're weirdos. So they snuck over to my trailer and knocked on the door in a certain code. Pound, pound, pound-pound. I did not answer the door though, so they tried that same pound again. I activated my little eyeball camera near the door, and spoke through the microphone.

"Si?" I asked.

"We brought the-" Snails was trying to say, but then Snips shushed him.

"We brought the 'thing' for you, Flare." Snips said.

"What? There's no Flare here, what are you talking about? Just leave it at the door." I instructed them.

"Aaaaand." Snips said sounding like he wanted something in return.

"Yeah, aaaaaaaand." Snails said, copying him.

"Come by my shop first thing tomorrow morning, and I'll give you an all you can eat buffet for free." I promised.

"YES!" the colts said excitedly.at the same time giving eachother a high-hoof.

“But that knock you did WAS NOT secret code.” I reminded them. “THIS is the secret code…” Pound, pound-pound, pound.

“How is that different from what we did?” Snips asked.

“You did…” pound, pound, pound-pound. I corrected them.

“Eh whatever. FREE buffet, Snails!” Snips yelled in excitement.

“Aw yeah, Snips! That’s what I’m talking about!” Snails yelled in excitement.

“Just be lucky this isn’t a nuclear reactor.” I advised them as the pair ran off by the time I opened the door and brought the box inside.

I then brought the case into my lounge while chuckling and I placed it on the floor. "At last! This is what I was looking for! I finally have.... the precious!" I said in the voice of that little dorky elf from Lord of the Rings. I chuckled, and then as I tried opening the case, it was stuck. Jammed! Filled with blueberry jam! So I tried to get the case opened with my magic, and I tried smashing it with a chair, some other furniture in my trailer, nearly my XBUCKS but I stopped myself, abd then I placed in the microwave but it didn't work, so I tried smashing it with my weights that I don't even use and that didn't work; I tried the garden hose outside and it didn't work; I tried the baseball bat that I made during the duel it didn't work, and I even tried asking it nicely, then threatening it, then begging it, and even tried bribbing it when suddenly, I was out of ideas.

"UGH! Nothing's working!" I yelled. "Wait! I'm not a caveman, why am I using all of this? I have technology!" So, carrying the briefcase, I walked on over to my computer and turned it on, and after that, I then took the computer monitor and started smashing the case with it. Of course, how stupid of me, it didn't open. That's when I knew that I couldn't do this alone. I needed help from a genius! So I gave Spike a call and he came over to my trailer so he could help me out.

"So, brah, you think you can help me out?" I asked.

"I dunno, I'm pretty shaken up after Trixie came over. I've been having that feeling that she hasn't really changed and she might come back." Spike said.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not interested." I said in an uncaring tone. "I just need you to help me open this case."

"Oh this? This is simple!" he said.

"Doesn't look simple, I tried everything to open it! The garden hose, my furniture, the weights I never use, everything! Nothing seems to be working!" I explained.

"Did you try putting in the combination?" Spike asked, giving me a look.

"No, but you think I'll know? That case belonged to Snips and Snails. I would ask them, but I don't have their phone numbers." I said.

"It's Snips and Snails, dude. The combination is quite obvious." he said.

"Don't be silly, brah! There's like millions and millions of possible combination!" I said. Just like that, Spike was able to open the case.

"You were saying?" he asked.

"Huh? How did you open it?" I asked.

"Snips and Snails, they're dimwitted; the combination is obviously zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero." he said.

"Wow Spike, you're smart man!" I said.

"Why else am I Twilight's number 1 assistant?" Spike asked, giving me a cool smile.

"Alright!" I said excitedly.

"What's in here anyway?" he asked, nearly opening the case.

"DON'T OPEN IT!" I yelled, holding the case closed.

"OKAY, OKAY!" he said. "Why so jumpy?"

"Secrets in this case, secrets!" I said. "It could be anything! It could be a treasure, it could be money, it could be my grandma's robes, it could be a pizza, maybe even a piece of string, or maybe even an embarrassing snapshot of YOU from the Hearth's Warming party!" I explained as Spike started screaming.

"Please don't tell me it's that picture! It was really hard for me get over my nerves after that day!" Spike freaked out.

"Then you'll keep all that happened tonight between us, capiche?" I asked him.

"Yeah, sure.... no problem." he said with a nervous smile and started sweating.

"Good. So you got any plans today, brah?" I asked.

"Oh, um... I have to go with Twilight to bring Peewee back to his parents." he said sadly. "I was allowed to keep him until he gets his senses, but.... I can't stand good-byes, you know what I'm saying, Flare?"

"I understand completely, brah." I said. "Go on and bring Peewee back to his family. Say goodbye to him for me, si?"

"Sure thing! See ya!" he said as ge started walking towards the door, but then he stopped and demanded me, "Oh, and don't you dare show anypony that picture!"

"I promise." I said to him and then he walked out. Of course I wasn't gonna break this promise, I don't even have a picture of him from the Hearth's Warming party. Though I did get an embarrassing snapshot of him from the royal wedding. So I opened the case slowly, and saw the precious. Yes the precious! Inside the case was the ring that I took off earlier day, remember that? I really needed to get that back. It was too precious! Snips and Snails were the only ones available who could get it, because I was too easy stealing the Alicorn Amulet which is in my vest pocket right now.

Behold! The Alicorn Amulet! I knew what I had to do! I knew that this object would help me be victorious! Ew, Victorious? All the Nickelodeon shows these days stink; I miss Amanda Show, and Drake and Josh. Oh, but my point is.... I don't have fingers so I couldn't point, but seriously I knew this amulet would help me reach my goal of having my magic be the best in all the land! When morning came, Engie was walking across town. He thought it was his lucky day because he saw a bit on the ground.

"Well ah'll be! It's mah lucky day! Ah don’t care what mah nephrologist says!" Engie said excitedly taking the bit off, but it was tails, so he's gonna get bad luck it seems. Yeah it was, because in about that time, he encountered a Krogan from Mass Effect who beat him with the back of his gun, and then walked away.. "OW! What in tarnation?" he yelled. "Wait, was that what ah think it was?" Next was Psyche, he encountered a New Age Retro Hippie from Earthbound.

"Oh my gosh! Is that a New Age Retro Hippie from Earthbound? Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh!" Psyche said with excitement.

"Yo man. What up with space man? It's like a big buncha nothin man!" the Hippie said.

"And now I hate you." Psyche said feeling annoyed. Meanwhile with Aqua, he was feeling pretty depressed because he had a pretty rough day yesterday.

"Ugh! Ah had a rough mornin! Trixie is such a dog! I can't believe she made me her personal fountain, and he turned Water into stone." he complained.

“And I’m still stoned.” Water said next to him as she started chuckling after she said that.

A short cutaway gag after that shows a grave stone that reads: Here lies Water Gun, who told the worst joke in the world and then died.

Aqua sighed and shook his head, and then he mumbled to himself, "This day can't possibly-" but before he could finish that sentence, a Little Sister from Bioshock (pony formed of course) trots over to Aqua. "Oh hey there, little filly! Ya lost?" Just then the sister starts screaming. "Whoa, whoa what did I do? What’s wrong?" Just then, if it isn’t obvious enough, the Big Daddy shows up, grabs Aqua and throws him into the dumpster. “I didn’t even say the whole phrase of this day getting any worse, and it happened before I said it. Didn’t think the rule applied that way.” Aqua mumbled to himself in the dumpster. “Why is there moldy cheese in here?"

“Don’t worry, Aqua! I’ll save you!” Water cried out.

“Yeah good luck with that.” Aqua said sarcastically.

“Hang on, give me a few minutes as I try to figure out how to get out of here.” Water said. “Why hasn’t anyone thawed me yet?”

Meanwhile with Crystal, she was eating ice cream while leaning against the wall outside Sugarcube Corner, until Pac-Man showed up and ate her ice cream as he floats by and chomping; when Crystal was just about to take a big bite, she just chomped on the air, which kind of hurt her teeth a bit.

"Ow… Huh? Where did my ice cream go?" Crystal asked worriedly, looking inside, under, and over her cone, and then inside the bushes. "Ice cream? Ice cream? Don't run away. Please don't go! I can’t just eat this cone! The cone isn’t edible! Wait… is it?" So Crystal decided to take a bite out of her ice cream-less cone and gave it a taste. “Wow this isn’t bad. Maybe this will be a new invention of mine! I call it… cones without ice cream! I’m going to make millions out of this product!” And so she did, and her career was a success! She was on magazine covers and everything, and she even moved to Los Pegasus for interviews and live the luxury life; go to parties and such. Crystal had luxury condos, sports carriages, stallions (including Black Thunder), and paparazzis everywhere! Unfortunately, it was the paparazzi that caught Crystal running around the streets of Los Pegasus with live hermit crabs in her mouth, which ended up on TMZ, and that was the end of Crystal’s luxury career, so she moved back to Ponyville and never had a single cone by herself ever again. Also BTW, that whole thing was a cutaway gag.

And finally, while Blaze was flying in the skies on the way to the Wonderbolts camp, but then an X-Wing from Star Wars flew by really fast right by and it spun Blaze around in the air, and a TIE fighter was following the X-Wing and Blaze spun again. After all that spinning, he felt dizzy.

"Ugh! Where did those things come from?" he asked himself as he rubbed his head.

“C’mon Blaze! That spinning was nothing, and you’re already dizzy! Even I could do better than that!” Rainbow complained to him.

“Well you better expect it if you’re ever going to be accepted in the Wonderbolts Academy.” Blaze informed her.

“IF, I am guaranteed to go to the academy!” Rainbow corrected him.

“You’re right, you are, because the Wonderbolts would accept anypony these days.” Blaze informed her.

“YEAH! I WAS ACCEPTED TO BE A WONDERBOLT CADET, RAINBOW DASH!” Bulk Biceps yelled at her face in excitement.

“That’s… umm… great, Bulk.” Rainbow said as she faked chuckled a bit.

“I BETTER MAKE SURE MY HELMET AND LEG PADS STILL FIT! MAMA DOESN’T WANT ME GETTING BOO-BOOS!” Bulk yelled.

“THAT’S MY BOY!” Mama Biceps yelled from below, whom was as buff as him. “NOW COME DOWN HERE FOR SOME LEMONADE!”

“RIGHT AWAY, MAMA! YEAH!” Bulk yelled.

“YEAH!” Mama Biceps yelled.

“Yeah!” Featherweight yelled. “Someday I’m going to be as buff as the rest of my family!”

“YOU GOT IT LITTLE BRO!” Bulk yelled.

“I didn’t even know Featherweight was related to Bulk Biceps.” Blaze said.

“Neither did I.” Rainbow Dash said.

Meanwhile over at Twilight’s library, Twilight was reading a book; that’s it, just a book, I’m not even gonna bother saying the name. While she was at it, she was writing down a research paper and Spike was sitting near the book shelves eating a gem. He praised the gem before he tried to eat it though. "Oh beautiful sapphire! You're as colorful as the rainbow, you're as shinny as the sun, you're as sparkly as....... a gem, and you'll taste as good as ice cream, cake, and potato chip-soda-earthworm brownies combined!" Spike said to the sapphire. He then opened his mouth and was about to eat it, but the gem was already eaten by Pac-Man, but Spike didn't notice as his eyes were closed, and then he ended up biting his hand. “OW! Hey where did my gem go? Twilight are you stealing my gems again?” Spike asked her.

“Spike, I keep telling you, I’m not the one that steals food in this household.” Twilight corrected him.

“Well it CAN’T be Peewee!” Spike said upsettingly. “I miss Peewee so much.”

"Well can you keep it down? Princess Celestia wants me to finish this research paper." Twilight said.

"But Twilight, I just had a gem in my hand, and then when I was about to eat it, it was gone!" Spike explained feeling worried.

"You probably ate it already, and just didn't notice. Happens every time." Twilight said as she continued her paper.

"I don't think so, Twilight. It was right here." Spike said.

Twilight turns to Spike and said to him, "Spike, I don't have time for this! If you think you didn't eat it, just go to Rarity's and ask for one from her." But as Twilight was looking at Spike, a goblin from Runescape comes by, eats her research paper, and walks out. "I'm sure she'd be generous enough to let you one. I mean, you do help her a lot, or just dig for some in the gem fields. I don't care; I just gotta get back to my research paper." Twilight turns back to her desk and finds her research paper not there. "Hey, where did my research paper go?"

"That's what I'm saying! Something strange is going on here!" Spike said.

"Nah, maybe it's just the wind, I did leave the window opened." Twilight said as a puffle from Club Penguin pops up near Owlowiscious while he wasn't looking, and takes his squeaky mouse toy and hops away. Owlowiscious looks to the side of him, but sees there's nothing there, not even his toy but that didn’t bother him much since he was already playing with a squeaky toy of a leprechaun, because don’t owls eat them? "Well now it looks like I'll have to start this research paper again, but this time I'll have to keep a close eye on it." Twilight said.

"Who.” Owlowiscious said.

"What's wrong, Owlowiscious?" Twilight asked.

"Who! Who!" Owlowiscious said, pointing to where his squeaky toy used to be. Oh, I was wrong, he did care where it is.

"Why is he pointing towards the floor?" Spike asked.

"Wait a minute, Owlowiscious’ squeaky toy used to be there, now it's gone." Twilight said.

"How do you know this stuff?" Spike asked.

"Sometimes I pay attention to these small details." Twilight said. "And where did this butterfly knife come from?" Twilight takes the knife and observes it. Yeah, that's the same knife as I made before. So Twilight started her paper over, and wrote a few sentences, but her quill suddenly broke. "Ugh. Spike, I need another quill!"

"Sure thing!" he said, walking to the drawer where the quills were, but there were no quills there. "That's strange; there were at least 10 quills in here. I know it!"

"Really? Let me see." Twilight said, walking towards the drawers, and looked inside. "Hmm, that's weird. Are you sure there were at least 10 quills in here?"
"I know it! There were, we just brought them yesterday!" Spike said, as a blue imp from Chrono Trigger came, took a quill and wrote random stuff her paper, and then disappeared before Twilight came back. "Well, maybe Owlowiscious can let me use one of his feathers again. I have to get this paper done." Twilight walks back to her desk and sees her paper got added. "What is this? May do you stare, mighty Lord Magus is watching? What is this?"

"What's wrong?" Spike asked.

"Somepony wrote something on my paper!" Twilight said. Spike looks over.

"Lord Magus? Isn't that a character from Chrono Trigger?" Spike asked.

"How should I know? I don't play video games." Twilight said. Spike thought it over, but then he had that strange feeling.

"Oh no!" Spike said shockingly.

"What's wrong, Spike?" Twilight asked.

"Nothing, nothing." Spike said. Twilight then glared at him. “You keep staring at me like that ALL THE TIME. Why do you keep glaring at me? You think I like that?”

"Are you sure it's nothing or are you hiding something from me?" Twilight asked, walking towards Spike, leaning her head in front of him, and Spike started to get nervous.

"Hiding? I ain't hiding anything!" Spike said.

"Spit it out, Spike!" Twilight ordered him, and then he suddenly spit on the floor, obviously. Twilight groaned and facehoofed. “I don't have time for this! I'm going to go for a walk." she said grumpily as she walked out. So Twilight walks outside to keep her mind off things, but on the way she sees a Scout from the Crysis game fly by, then she sees a Guardian Drone from Fallout 3 shooting pink icing at ponies.

"Yippie! Pink icing!" Pinkie cried in excitement, leaving her mouth opened for the icing, but then the drone shot her in the eye, but she just licked it off, it didn’t bother her. "Tasty!"

"What is going on here?" Twilight asked herself. Then a Sentenal from Halo started chasing two ponies named Starshine Trot and Still Wing around, and a Combine Gunship from Half-Life 2 was chasing Skyblaze through the skies, and Ocean Wing was driving a Crusader Tank from Call of Duty.

"Weeee!" Ocean cried in the tank.

"What is this?" Twilight asked herself. "You see anything suspicious going on, Pinkie?"

"Hmmm, well..... only that how that drone up there got that pink icing from. Other than that, it all seems normal to me!" Pinkie said and trotted away while singing. Twilight walked around town and kept seeing more stuff from video games; then again, she doesn't play video games, so she doesn't really know what most of them are. Twilight was walking passed my shop, and she saw me trot by.

"Hey, Flare!" she said.

"Oh sup, sista?" I asked.

"Well, I've seen a bunch of strange characters around town this morning." she responded.

"You saw Pinkie, right?" I asked.

"Yes." she answered.

“Well that explains it then.” I said.

"But I’ve been seeing different characters. Like, they're not from around here." Twilight said.

"Must be ponies from Trottingham. They're always the strange bunch." I said.

"I heard that!" Psyche yelled at me from the distance.

"So Flare, you know anything about these strange figures I've been seeing? It's been a strange morning for me." Twilight asked.

"Magic.” I said as I snorted twice.

"Uhh, what?" she asked.

"That's my answer. Magic laws, magic laws. Must obey the magic laws." I said. I bet you're wondering why Twilight hasn't noticed by Alicorn Amulet. It was cold out, so it was under the jacket I was wearing. It matches my blue vest.

"Why are you wearing a jacket? It's only 70 degrees out here." Twilight said.

"Compared to Mareami's heat, I'm not used to coldness." I said as suddenly then jumped because I had a freeze attack. "Whoo! I felt a chill! Magic laws!”

"Well I'm sure you'll get used to it, Flare." she said to me with a smile.

"I know I will, Twilight! I gotta open up my shop now." I said.

"That's alright. Hey, mind if I order a little lemonade for my walk?" she asked.

"Sure thing, Twilight! Just let me go inside and shut off my alarm, then when everything is settled in there, I'll get ya your lemonade! Kay kay?" I asked.

"Sure, take your time!" she said. So I then unlocked my shop door and went inside to shut off my alarm. Twilight stands outside waiting and watches the video game chaos that goes on outside. The original SHOOP DA WHOOP face comes by shouting, "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!" and shoots a laser at a wall, with a pony sitting in the toilet, reading a newspaper. "FLARE!" Twilight yelled. She bursted inside and saw more of the video game chaos go on in my shop.
"Twilight, I told you not to come in yet." I reminded her.

"So it was you doing this!" she said to me angrily.

"Doing what?" I asked.

"You're the one who made all these strange figures!" Twilight said.

"Uhh, yeah. Duh! I wasn't keeping it a secret." I said.

"So you lied to me!" she said.

"Uhh, no I didn't." I said.

"Yes you did, you told me you didn't do it." she said, smirking at me.

"When did I say anything like that?" I asked, giving her a bored look.

"I asked you if you knew anything about this chaos going on!" she said.

"And I said: magic." I said as I snorted twice. "So technically, I didn't lie to you, I just said something random."
"Oh.... well..... that's true, but......" she studdered.

"I'M SMARTER THAN TWILIGHT! I'M SMARTER THAN TWILIGHT!" I teased her.

"No offense, Flare, but you are NOT smarter than I." she said.

“Smarter than I, not smarter than me? You take grammar too seriously. You should help me proof-read, I need help with that.” I said as I removed my jacket and threw it on top of my desk. “So what kind of lemonade do you want? Pink, yellow, or green?”

"What the?" Twilight asked curiously while noticing the Alicorn Amulet around my neck.

“So you noticed, huh?” I asked. “Yeah green lemonade, I did say that.”

"Flare, where did you get that?" she asked, pointing to the amulet.

"Oh this? I got this blue vest from Wal-Mart. This one is one of my favorites! Then again, I wear the same thing everyday. Well, except this vest is a little more of a darker blue then the one I wore yesterday." I explained.

"NO! Not your vest! The amulet!" she corrected me.

"Oh the amulet?" I asked.

Twilight sighed. “Yes the amulet.”

“Yeah it looks good on me, doesn’t it?” I asked as I then activated my hornsaber, which was bigger than ever before, and I cut one of my tables in half. "There. That table needed to be a little smaller than that." As I was trying to walk back into the kitchen, I then tripped and fell on the floor and my saber penetrates right through the floor, which never actually happened before.

"It's the amulet, Flare! It's making all your magic spells stronger!" she said, as I was trying to get myself out of the floor, but it was stuck. Oh and I forgot to mention… I rhymed in that sentence before this one!

"I guess that explains why Pinkie was eating cake frosting all morning." I said.

"Not just that, everything!" Twilight said.

"You mean it's responsible for the creation of Equestia?" I asked.

"The what? NO! All the video game figures that are wrecking the town!" Twilight said.

"I don't think they're wrecking the town, I think they're making the town quite peaceful." I said, still trying to get unstuck from the floor.

"Why would you think that?" Twilight asked.

"Because they surely made my morning! They might've made Pinkie's morning too, and some others." I said.

"And what about everypony else?" she asked.

"Are you just gonna stand there asking questions, or are you gonna help me get unstuck?" I asked. Twilight rolled her eyes and pulled me out of the floor with her magic. After I was finally out, I deactivated my hornsaber. "Phew! Thanks, sista!"

"Flare, that amulet is dangerous! You have to take that off.” Twilight instructed me.

"And what if I say no?" I asked.

"Tell him, Lyra!" Bon Bon said over the counter.

"Or else pizza.... gets sent out for YOU!" Lyra said, and they both laughed.

"Uhh, what did they say?" Twilight asked, confused.

"Nothing, it's from a movie I showed them last weekend." I told her.

"Whatever. Give me the amulet, Flare." Twilight ordered.

"And let you make all dem willy nilly fancy magic tricks that you can already do but better? Negetory, Miss Speaks-Alot. It's my turn....... TO SHINE!" I said, with my horn glowing very bright blue, and Twilight blocked her eyes because it was so bright.

"Wow, Flare! When did you learn to make a spell like that?" she asked.

I chuckled. "I have no idea!"

"Flare! You have to listen to me!" Twilight yelled, as I turned off my horn.

"Flare! You have to listen to me!" I mimicked in a teasing voice.

"Don't talk to me that way, Flare Gun!" Twilight ordered.

"Don't talk to me that way, Flare Gun!" I mimicked.

"What're y’all bladderin’ about?" Engie asked.

"Whoa! Is that the Alicorn Amulet? That's awesome!" Crystal said, looking at it.

"Did somepony say Alicorn Amulet?" Blaze asked.

"Oh please don't tell me you all are taking his side on this!" Twilight said, feeling annoyed.

"Nah, ah kinda agree. That thing is dangerous." Aqua said.

"Oh and like you know what that thing even does!" Crystal corrected Aqua.

"Actually, I kinda do." Aqua said. "Take that thing off, Flare."

"Oh give him a chance, Aqua! He hasn't done anything to harm anypony." Blaze said.

"Did he now, Blaze? Did he?" Aqua asked, smirking at Blaze.

"Ah didn't see him do anything wrong." Engie said.

"Me neither." Crystal said.

"I was actually expecting Flare to mess things up around town, but all he did was to bring harmless video game characters to life. I don't think they did any real damage." Psyche said. "Pinkie seems to like it." We saw Pinkie outside, making icing angels on the icing that was squirted all over the streets, and the colts and fillies seem to be enjoying it too.

"See Aqua? See Twilight? No harm done!" Engie said.

"Well.... I suppose it wouldn't hurt if Flare leaves it on just for a little while." Aqua said.

"Just gimmie me the day with it. I might take it off at the end of the day." I said.

"Sounds fair to me." Blaze said.

"I dunno, guys. Do you think this might be a little..... weird? I mean, whoever possesses the Alicorn Amulet is guaranteed to bring the user mad with power. I just don't think it's quite safe for Flare to be using it." Twilight said. “What happened to Trixie may also happen to-“

"Holy Wizard of Hope, Twilight! You're really boring me with your chatter." I complained.

"Yeah me too." Crystal said.

"You’re actin’ just like Psyche now. Maybe you can be his replacement.” Engie teased Twilight, and then we all laughed, except for Twilight.

"Hey everypony, Twilight's the new Psyche!" Blaze teased as we continued laughing, as I changed Twilight's mane style to look like Psyche's with my magic, and Twilight just stood there, feeling annoyed.

"Twilight's the new Psy-yche! Twilight's the new Psy-yche!" Crystal sang and teased.

"Yeah, Twilight! You're the new me!" Psyche teased.

"Shut up, Psyche." I said to him with a glare. Twilight just groaned and walked out of my shop and the six of us just continued laughing.

I spent most of the day using my new and improved magic to make all the pizzas in my inventory. I never made pizzas or in this case any of my meals so fast before. I made so many meals that there were more meals then customers. So I just left all the meals in the oven, and I told Bonnie and Lyra to just give it to them if they want it, so I can take the rest of the day off, and as Lyra was gonna give some food to a customer, Pac-Man eats the food before it reaches the table. So as my two best employees were in charge of things, I ran outside, and I started thinking. Oh, I wasn't thinking before? Wow, that's interesting! So after a little thinking, what I wanted to do was make the biggest baddest enemies in video games. I had a mischievous look on my face because I knew it was bound to work, but it seemed a little EEEEEEEVIL! But the Alicorn Amulet was corrupting my mind then, so how was I supposed to know what was evil or not? MAGIC LAWS! So went into my trailer real quick to get my game informer magazine and I took a look inside to see what kind of monsters should I summon? I looked in the magazine to see which ones I should do, MAGIC LAWS, and I knew which- MAGIC LAWS- enemy I should summon. I looked at a tree, but first I turned the squirrel on that tree into Cronker from Cronker's Bad Fur Day, so it can get out of the way. I aimed my horn on the tree and it started glowing...... umm, the horn not the tree, and I was really trying my best to turn that tree into something I really wanted to change something into for days. I knew it wasn't easy, I was sweating and grunting, but eventually I was able to use my magic to turn the tree into a Scarab from Halo. The one from the second game actually, the white one, not the purple one from all the other games.

"WHOA! I was actually trying to make the Great Mighty Poo, but… ok! I’m really OK with this!” I yelled. "I did it! I finally turned something into something I really wanted to turn something into something!"

"Oh, and I wasn't good enough?" Cronker complained.

"What should I turn something into next?" I asked myself. So I looked at the game informer and took a looksy. I saw a daisy in front of me, and I aimed my horn towards it and used my magic to turn the daisy into a Strider from Half-Life. “AWESOME! It’s Stanley the Strider!” I yelled in excitement.

“Where am I? I was just about to destroy the Walmart in City 17; mainly because of complaints of employees not getting paid enough.” Stanley the Strider said.

"Alicorn Amulet, you never seize to amaze me! Ok, what else?" I looked at the game informer again. "AH HA!" I stared over at a market stall and one of my friends Spark Note was watching after it as her coltfriend Mynx was buying something from the stall. The amulet corrupted my brain, so I didn't wanna wait for them, so I used my magic to turn the stall into the Iron Maiden from Gears of War. Everything from the stall fell on the ground and Spark Note was scared, so he ran away, but Mynx wasn't scared. He just took everything and ran away giggling, but Pac-Man ate all the stuff Mynx took before he ran far enough, and he sadly said; "Awww, how disappointing."

"AWESOME POSSUM!" I yelled after creating the Iron Maiden. "Kay, one more thing! One more and I'll be satisfied! I don't need the game informer for this one! I know exactly what to do now!" I looked a big rock, aimed my horn towards it, and I started sweating, my horn was glowing, and I was grunting because this enemy seemed to be really tough to make. Eventually I shot the spell at the rock and the rock started glowing and shaking. Just as I was really expecting something big, it broke into a million pieces. "Huh?" I said to myself. I looked around and I saw the Makron from Quake, but it was really tiny, no bigger than a muffin. Oh after I thought of that, that's what made me think of Derpy; but seriously, what a rip-off seeing the Makron so small.

"HA HA! YOU ARE SOOO SMALL!" Heavy Weapons Guy said (one of my creations). Then the Makron growled and turned into a giant, and then he crushed Heavy.

"Aww, he crushed mah buddeh." Engie said sadly. "Mind if ah take his sandvich?"
"SUPER DE DOOPER HAPPY FACE!" I yelled. "WOO! I MADE MY FAVORITE GAME ENEMIES COME TO LIFE! I AM SO PROUD! I LESS THEN THREE THIS NECKLACE!" I took the amulet and kissed it.

"HA HA, Flare's in love with his amulet!" Crystal teased.

"Yes, yes I am, sista, but there's no need to..... tease about it." I said, but when I said the word 'tease', my eyes glowed red.

"Uhh, Flare? Ya alright?" Aqua asked.

"This amulet… can do anything!” I said excitedly. “I was NEVER able to do these spells before I got this!”

“Oh yeah?” Crystal asked.

“Oh most definitely; like for example, check this out!” I took out my phone and I saw that Keith poked me on Facebook. “Check this out; Keith Pwni poked you.”

“Yeah he always does that, doesn’t he?” Blaze asked.

“Well watch this!” I activated my magic to create a magic I never thought I had. I created a giant finger and it started flying through towards down, knocking pony’s over, zaps through walls, and eventually way on the other side of town, the giant finger breaks in through Keith’s walls and once it’s inside his house, it pokes him on the shoulder.

“Oh.” Keith said.

After poking Keith, the giant finger starts zooming through town again but in reverse and the giant finger vanishes right back inside my horn. “You poked Keith!” I said in a squeaky voice.

“So you’re ok then?” Psyche asked.

“I’m more than ok, brah!” I said excitedly.

"Are ya sure?" Aqua asked walking towards me and touching my shoulder. "Ya seem to be actin a little..... different." I glared at him with red glowing eyes.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!" I yelled as I then turned Aqua into a Dwarven Spider from Skyrim.

"Flare, you change Aqua back this instant!" Psyche ordered.

"As you wish." I turned Aqua back to his old self, but still golden like the Dwarven Spider.

"That is not what I meant!" Psyche said.

"Aw c'mon, he's better this way! He's gold and he makes me laugh because this guy's rich. Ba boom boom psssh!" I teased. "He's probably rich like chocolate ice cream too.”

"Enough rich jokes!" Psyche yelled. "Take that amulet off, Flare!"

"Make me!" I said mischievously. “Oh wait, my parents already did.”

Psyche tried to grab my amulet off, but he was unable to as I used my magic to lift Aqua and Psyche and push them into the dumpster, closed it, and placed a Hell Knight from Doom sitting on top of it, blocking their escape. "Wow is he serious? He dumped us into a dumpster?" Aqua asked. “Uhh… no pun intended.”

"Let's get outta here." Psyche said trying to lift the dumpster door, but the Knight was holding it down by sitting on it. "It's no use, Flare's blocking our way out."

"Well I can't stay here any longer. It smells 'ike rotten cheese in 'ere." Aqua said.

"What's this? Who throws out a whole bag of brownies?" Psyche asked.

"I wouldn't eat those if ah were ya." Aqua said.

"Why not?" Psyche asked.

"The Cakes made 'ose brownies sometime before the Royal Weddin’, and nearly the whole town was in a coma because of 'em." Aqua said.

"Well how was I know suppose to know? I wasn't in town yet." Psyche said.

"Eww! I found the rotten cheese." Aqua said.

"Wait, how can somepony fit a big lawn mower inside a dumpster like this?" Psyche asked.

“Same reason why somepony would throw a lawn mower down a toilet probably.” Aqua said.

“Wait a minute! How can a whole pie truck fit in here?! That’s just illogical!” Psyche yelled.

"FLARE GUN!" Twilight yelled as she angrily trotted towards me.
"Wow the way you said it, you sound like my mom.” I pointed out.

"What is the meaning of this, Flare?" Twilight asked.

"What's the meaning of what?" I asked.

"All this?" Twilight asked.

"Ponyville was founded by Apple family. So if you have anypony to yell about, go yell at Grandma Smith." I instructed her.

"Her name's Granny Smith, Flare." Blaze corrected me.

"Whatever! I don't care if her name is 'Granny Smith Flare', I have no idea what Twilight's talking about." I said.

"You've summoned all these video game enemies, Flare. You have to take off the amulet." Twilight instructed me.

"No." I said.

"What?" Twilight asked.

"I said..... nnnnnnnnno." I said.

"No?" Twilight asked.

"Does he have to spell it out for you, Twilight?" Crystal asked.

"DON'T FIGHT MY BATTLES FOR ME, CRYSTAL! I CAN DO IT MYSELF!" I yelled as I turned her into the Brickster from Lego Island.

"Wow I'm robber!" Crystal said in happiness. "GIVE ME ALL YO MONEY!"

"Yer made of legos, which means ah can do this!" Engie said as he took her arm.

"Hey give that back!" Crystal ordered him and tried to grab it, but Engie just held her lego arm up high, making it hard to get it.

"Ya want it? Ya gotta get it!" Engie teased.

"I'm soooo not sharing my bank robbery money with you, Engie!" Crystal said.

"Brah, you gotta take off that amulet!" Blaze instructed me.

"Brah? BRAH'S MY WORD! Like the bird! The bird's the word too!" I said.

"Just take off the amulet, man." Blaze instructed me calmly.

“No way, bro! With this amulet, I’m gonna live forever!” I said.

“Trust me, man, living forever is a BAD IDEA. It’s bad enough I have to live forever because of my phoenix powers. See your friends and family die, you don’t want that man! It’s bad enough that I have to.” Blaze explained.

“Well since I’m gonna be living forever with you, you’ll no longer be alone! We’ll live forever together, Blaze!” I said excitedly.

“And what about us?” Crystal complained.

“Ehhhhhh, eat healthy, do a lot of exercise, all that junk, I’m sure you’ll do fine. I dunno about you Engie, cause you’re fatso.” I pointed out.

“HEY!” Engie complained. “That is so uncalled for!”

“Oh hush, you know it’s true.” I said.

“Yeah it is.” Engie said sadly.

“Flare, I don’t think there’s ANY kind of magic that could have you live forever.” Twilight explained. “Starswirl the Bearded tried it, and it was the main reason why he died.”

“Twilight, nothing’s gonna stop me. I’m gonna live forever, or die trying.” I said.

“Flare, please remove that amulet! It’s corrupting your mind and none of us like it one bit!” Twilight explained.

“Whoa, listen to you talking for all of us.” Crystal complained to Twilight.

“Doesn’t it bother you at all, Crystal?” Twilight asked.

“I didn’t say that.” Crystal said.

“So it does bother you.” Blaze said.

“I didn’t say that either.” Crystal said.

“UGH! Flare!” Twilight yelled.

"UGH! Twilight! Look how badplot my magics are! I’ll show YOU how awesome I could be! I’LL SHOW ALL OF YOU!" I yelled as I then turned to the Everfree Forest, and I was about to fire my SHOOP DA WHOOP at it. "WoowoowoowoowoowooWOOWOOWOO!" But my laser was bigger than ever before. When I fired, it split right through the Everfree Forest, making a clear path to the desert towns on the other side. "WHOA! THAT WAS AWESOME! I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD DO THAT!" Twilight, Blaze, Crystal, and Engie's jaws all dropped to the ground in shockness.

“Whoa! How did he do that?” Engie asked.

“Magic.” I said as I snorted twice.

"Flare! You just cut the Everfree Forest in HALF!" Twilight yelled.

"Uhh, duh! You just saw it." I said.

"Flare, you've gone too far this time!" Twilight said.

"No I didn't. Watch me walk through the entire Everfree Forest. Then I'll go too far." I said.

"THAT'S IT!" Blaze yelled as he began to tackle me and grabbed the amulet, but before he could take it off, I used rail-blast on him, which flew him up in the air real high, real far.

"AW YEAH!" I yelled in excitement.

“Flare what about being OP?” Twilight asked.

“WHO CARES WHAT OTHER’S THINK OF ME?!” I yelled. “I’ll just vanish them in mid-air if I want to!”

"Flare, you've changed you're not the pony we known before." Twilight said sadly. "We seem to..... have lost..... a dear friend."

"Wait… what you mean?" I asked sadly, but then I shook my head real fast and my eyes glowed red again. "Yes, I'm more powerful than ever now!"

"Uhh what was that?" Engie asked.

"Look, if we act like Flare's not our friend anymore, and if we act all sad, we might have the old Flare back." Twilight whispered to Engie and Crystal.

"Oooooh, I get it!" Crystal understood. "Hey, Flare! I smashed your XBUCKS!"

"WHAT?! GRRRRRRR!" I got really angry at Crystal as my horn and eyes were glowing red.

"No, Crystal, not like that!" Twilight whispered. "Try to make him sad, not mad."

"Oooooh, gotcha Twilight!" Crystal said with a wink, and then she poked her. "Tag, you're it!"

"What?" Twilight asked.

"I said gotcha, then I said 'tag you're it'." Crystal said.

"Oooook." Twilight said, feeling confused.

"Flare, you're really hurting me! Ow, ow!" Twilight faked it, but I didn't know that.

"Like I care!" I said, rolling my eyes, but then I shook my head and my eyes stopped glowing. "TWILIGHT! No, I didn't mean to...." Then my head shook again and my eyes glowed. "Quiet you! Her pain is my enjoyment! LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL! I love sounding like a stupid internet troll!" Then my eyes stopped glowing again. "Stop! You're hurting her! I stop with the leet speak, remember?" Then my eyes glowed again. "Lawl I DON’T remember! Also, excuse me? I am you, and you are me! LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL! MAGIC LAWS! MAGIC LAWS!"

"He's starting to fight it! You guys take it from here." Twilight whispered to Crystal and Engie.

"Gotcha!" Crystal whispered, then she went over and poked me in the eyes with her lego hands.

"OW! What was that for?" I asked covering my eyes and then Twilight facehoofed.

"This is fun!" Crystal said in excitement.

"Step aside, ladies! Let a real stallion show ya'll how it's done!" Engie said.

"Show what how it's done? You back off, or I'll turn you into a blue spy!" I threatened Engie.

"Whoa! Ah don't want that." Engie said. "But ah have to do what ah have to do! Flare......"

"You're gonna sap your own sentry if you don't back away!" I threatened him, aiming my horn at him.

"Flare...... you are...... ANNOYING!" Engie yelled.

Then I stuck my tongue out and did a rhaspberry at him. "Tongue face. Oh pa-lease! Like I haven't heard that one before." I said and laughed, but then my eyes stopped glowing and Crystal turned back to normal.

"Hey, I'm a pony again!" Crystal yelled in excitement. "But.... where's my arm?"

Engie looked on his hoof and saw Crystal's detached arm, wiggling around like a worm. Engie screamed like a little girl and dropped the arm on the ground. "Wow, cool! I've always wanted to know what it's like being a three-legged pony!"

"I'll.... have to fix that later." Twilight said feeling a little freaked out about Crystal's arm. I started struggling and grunting.

"You.... find me..... annoying?" I asked Engie in a squeaky voice, and big eyes.

"Yes." he said, giving me a mischevious look.

"Noooooooo!" I screamed.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees!" Engie screamed back and then I fell on the ground and started wiggling, and grunting, and then I used all my strength to rip off my Alicorn Amulet, and I threw it on the ground. I started screaming as all the magic from the amulet started to get released from me.

"It did it! It worked!" Twilight said. "Now all we have to do is....." I just laid there on the ground and continued screaming, but nothing was going on, the magic was already sucked out of me.

"Flare?" Twilight tried to get my attention. "Flare?!" I just continued screaming. "FLAAAAAAAAAAAARE!?" I was still screaming on the ground.

"Don't worry, I know just what to do!" Crystal said as she ran to my shop, and went into my office, and there was a case on the wall with a pizza inside, and a sign that said; 'In case of emergancy: Break glass', and there was a little hammer on the emergency case. "Oh, how do I break this case?" She looked at my desk to see a glass-cutting knife, a bowling ball, a hammer, and little Jeff Gorspeed bobble head. She takes the bobble-head from my desk and starts banging it on the glass until it broke. "Yay!" she yelled in excitement, but my bobble-head was messed up. She takes the pizza from the case and runs back to where I'm screaming, and she rubs the pizza against my nose. I stopped screaming and I sniffed the pizza.

"Is that garlic-daisy?" I asked as then suddenly ate it like a pig, and then I burped. "Ahhh, much better! Thanks, Crystal!"

"No probs!" Crystal said.

"How you feeling, Flare?" Twilight asked.

"Like a jerk." I said sadly. Just then Blaze flew on back, covered in mud.

"Where have ya been, Blaze?" Engie asked.

"Flare used his blast to throw me into a hydra pit. It wasn't easy avoiding that beast." Blaze said.

"You mean a hydra?" Crystal asked.

"No, I mean a timber-wolf." Blaze said sarcastically.

"Wow! You went face to face with a timberwolf! Very awesome, Blaze!" Crystal said excitedly.

"So what happened? Is Flare better?" Blaze asked.

"Yeah, I think so." Twilight said.

"Hey, big-talker? He was talking to me!" I said to Twilight.

"Oh, sorry." she said and sighed.

"No, I'm not feeling better. In fact I feel corrupted." I said.

"What makes ya say that?" Engie asked.

"Look what I did! I was no better than Trixie! I was just making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass, and I’m home bound.” I explained. “Also I was playing God, thinking I'm better than everypony else. I guess there was reason why the princesses wanted this necklace to be locked away. I also kept forgetting how much I didn’t want to be OP because I want to be like every other unicorn, just… a little more awesome than that.”

“I hear you man.” Blaze said.

"Well, Flare. Sometimes you have to make a few mistakes so you can learn from them." Twilight said.

"I make too many of them though." I said.

"We all do, Flare." Twilight said. "We all...." I then suddenlyshoved a garlic roll in her mouth and she swallowed it. "What was that for?"

"I-D-K, I needed something to amuse me." I said.

"Ooook." Twilight said.

"Well, I believe we're done here." Blaze said.

"I'm sorry for acting such a jerk, brahs. I was just so tired of sticking to low-level magic. I wanted to change something into something big! Not something small like a knife. Something big like a super-weapon!" I said.

"It's cool, man. This amulet corrupted you. It was made to do that." Blaze said.

"It was made to corrupt me? Just me?" I asked.

"TWIIIIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" Spike yelled running towards us, screaming.

"Spike?! Spike what's wrong?" Twilight asked. Spike just stood there and continued screaming. "Spike?!" Twilight tried to get Spike's attention, but he continued screaming. "SPIIIIIIIKE?!"

"Is that really what I sounded like a couple of minutes ago?" I asked.

"I know just what to do!" Crystal said as she ran to Twilight's house, and saw a case with a gem inside, and a sign that said, 'In case of emergancy: Break glass'. There was a small hammer next to the glass, but of course Crystal didn't use it. Crystal grabbed Twilight's Princess Celestia bobble-head and started banging it on the glass until it broke. She grabbed the gem and went back to Spike, and rubbed the gem against his nose. Spike stopped screaming and he started sniffing it.

"Is that a fire ruby?" he asked, as he then ate it like a pig and burped. "Ahhh, much better. Thanks, Crystal!"

"Not a problem, Spike!" Crystal said.

"TWILIGHT!" Spike got up and yelled.

"What happened?" Twilight asked.

"I got this message from Princess Celestia!" he said, giving her the scroll.

Twilight, opened the scroll and read it. "Dear Twilight, The Alicorn Amulet has come missing. My guards are on their way to Ponyville to look for it, and arrest the pony responsible."

"LAWL! I feel bad for that pony." I chuckled.

"Dude? That's you!" Blaze informed me.

"What's me?" I asked.

"You were the one that stole the amulet!" Blaze said.

"Correction: I was the one that USED the amulet, I did not take it. Snips and Snails took it, and gave it to me. That's totally different." I corrected him. “No… wait… that was something else. Yeah I did steal it.”

Twilight continued reading the message. "I need you and your friend's help though. Whoever was responsible created giant monsters that are wrecking Equestria. One is a giant red bug-like thing with big beam cannon, and it's attacking Manehatten."

"Oh that must be the Scarab I made." I said.

"Another is a giant three-legged baiche monster that has similar attacks to the first monster, and it's attacking Fillydelphia." Twilight continued reading.

"That has gotta to be the Strider." I said.

"This monster seems to be blin, and whoever it can sense, it charges at them real fast, and it's attacking Los Pegasus." Twilight read in the message.

"Iron Maiden." I said.

"And finally, a big robotic monster that's attacking here in Canterlot." Twilight read.

"The Makron, of course." I said.

"Please do all you can to bring an end to this. We're counting on you, Twilight. Your faithful teacher, Princess Celestia." the message concluded.

"Way to go, Flare! You put your magic to way too far this time! Now Equestria is doomed!" Spike blamed me.

"Hey, how was I suppose to know they'd get loose all wild around Equestria? I thought they'd go away after I took off this stupid amulet!" I complained.

"We have to take care of these monsters!" Twilight said.

"But how? How are we supposed to know how to defeat them?" Crystal asked.

"Flare plays video games all the time, he should know." Spike said.

"You should know just as much as I do!" I said.

"Yeah, but you're better at explaining." Spike said. Then they all looked at me.

"Well.... I dunno brahs." I said.

"Flare, these monsters are from video games, and you made them! Ya should know how they can get defeated. If they work the same as from the games, they should be defeated the same way!" Engie said.

"Umm...." I thought for a second. "Well, it's not gonna be easy."

"Who said it was gonna be easy? I'm ready for anything, Flare! Just give me the good word!" Blaze yelled in excitement.

"Time to kick some flank, and chew bubble gum, Flare!" Crystal said. "And I'm all out of flank!"

"No, no, this is my mess, and I'll be the one to clean it up." I said.

"You don't want our help?" Twilight asked.

"You weren't the one that caused this; I did, so I'll be the one to take of it all." I said. "But, you can come and watch!"

"That sounds like fun!" Crystal said in excitement.

"Watchin’ sounds cool." Engie agreed.

"Cool! I'll show you all how it's done – how gamer fights in real life." I said with a smirk. And so, I fought the enemies I summoned. First I defeated the Scarab by using my hornsaber on its legs, and then I went up to its core to destroy it. Next I went to the Strider, and used a Magnusson Device on it that I summoned earlier that day. I didn't know how to defeat the Iron Maiden because I didn't make the Hammer of Dawn, so I lured the Maiden to a cliff edge and since it was blind, it didn't notice the edge so it fell, and on the bottom was a swamp pit, and there was a hydra in it, but the hydra fell in love with it which was good enough for me.

Next was the Makron; it roared at me, and I really didn't know what to do to defeat that, so I just threw a bobble head at it's head and it got knocked out. I shoved a garlic roll in its mouth, and then walked away. I went back to Ponyville, but COMPLETELY out of breath. Twilight, Spike, Engie, Crystal, and Blaze waited for me at the library.

"Ah! How was your trip, Flare?" Crystal asked.

"It was fun and I still have full of energy!" I said, still catching my breath.

"But it looks like yer out breath." Engie said confusingly.

"He's being sarcastic, Engie." Blaze corrected him.

"Yeah I'm being sarcastic, Engie." I said.

"Yeah he's being sarcastic, Engie." Crystal said.

"Ah know, ah know! Ah heard!" Engie complained.

"Well..... I'm glad things are back to normal. Great job, Flare! You did well, you did very well!" Twilight said.

"But I'm still feeling upset about this whole..... amulet, and spawning game." I said.

"Its okay, Flare. We all learn from our mistakes." Twilight smiled at me and said. "Anyways, I got some research to do."

"Wait, what happened to the amulet?" Blaze asked.

"Oh, I gave it back to the princess." Twilight said. "And she's gonna make sure that amulet never falls into the wrong hooves again."

"Hey, it could've been worse right?" Spike asked. "But at least we won't be seeing that amulet again."

"Well, I got some research to do. You four run along now! I'll see you all later." Twilight said.

"Okie dokie, Twilight!" Crystal said.

"Catch ya later, alligator!" Engie said.

"Thanks for all your help, Light! I won't forget all you've done for me!" I said gratefully.

"Not a problem, Flare!" Twilight smiled. So me, Engie, Crystal, and Blaze all walked out of Twilight's house, but then Snips and Snails started running in with a box.

"Twilight, we've got the item you seek!" Snips said.

"Yeah, the item you seek!" Snails said.

"What the hay is this?" Spike asked.

"It's a box." Snails said.

"I know, but what's in the box?" Spike asked.

"Thank you, Snips and Snails! You've done well! I'll be sure to do your homework all next week." Twilight promised.

"Thanks, Twilight!" they both said and ran off.

"Twilight, what is this?" Spike asked, feeling nervous.

"Spike, I'll give you all the gems you want if you can keep a secret." Twilight said mischievously, taking the Alicorn Amulet out of the box and placing it around her neck.

"Twilight, what are you doing?" Spike asked nervously.

"Just a little research." Twilight said as she lets out an evil chuckle. Meanwhile, at my shop, I made a batch of garlic rolls for my friends. Crystal grabbed one first even before I placed it on the table.

"Ah! Hello, delicious! Come to mama!" Crystal said, but before she attempted to eat it, Pac-Man came and ate it and Crystal ended up biting her hoof. "OW! Hey, where did my roll go?"

"Hey Flare, you missed one." Blaze said to me.

"Ehhh, don't worry about Pac-Man. Once the ghosts come, he'll be gone." I said, but then blue ghosts just crawled by, and Pac-Man was chasing them. "I stand corrected."

"When did ya ever stand wrong, Flare?" Engie asked.

"Hey, brahs? Don't you have the feeling that we're forgetting something?" I asked.

"Right, it's always the same. Whoever says that means we actually did forget something." Blaze said.

"But perhaps it's nothing! MAGIC LAWS!" I said. But meanwhile, outside my shop, the Hell Knight was still sitting on top of the dumpster outside, eating ice cream, and Aqua and Psyche were still in the dumpster.

"Ok, I'm thinking of a number between 32 and 34. What is it?" Aqua asked.

"It's 33, right?" Psyche asked.

"Wrong.” Aqua said.

"Ok, what is it?" Psyche asked.

"32 1/2 of course." Aqua said.

"Ah, you got me again, Aqua." Psyche said and chuckled. "Wow, this garbage is really messing with our minds."

"I agree. I wonder how long it will take until we're able to get outta here?" Aqua asked. Just as the Hell Knight was finishing its ice cream, Pac-Man came and ate it. The Knight was confused to what happened.

"Ey Psyche, ya got a banana peel on yer nose." Aqua pointed out. Oh yeah, and Water is still stoned, but she’ll be ok by the next chapter… if she appears in it that is.

Born To Be Wild

View Online

lI haven’t seen Miss Cheerilee in a while, so I decided to go hang with her later today, but before I showed up, she was showing her class a slideshow about the disastrous earthquake that hit Los Pegasus 80 years ago.

“And that children, is the collapsed memorial of Starswirl the Bearded; it was the first building to be rebuilt after the Earthquake.” Cheerilee said.

“It’s just a grave. Why would they rebuild that first?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“Because Starswirl the Bearded was a magnificent wizard. He taught a great deal in the unicorn magics around history. They say, if his grave is destroyed or disrupted, you’ll be cursed forever!” Cheerilee said in a spooky voice.

“But an earthquake hit it, not anypony. So you saying the quake would be cursed?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Actually, Sweetie Belle, it was. Not another earthquake hit Los Pegasus ever since.” Cheerilee said.

“Whoooooa!” the class all said in surprise, and Diamond Tiara just made a raspberry sound.

“And this here is the old Applewood sign.” Cheerilee said, flicking the slideshow. “Before the earthquake, it was called ‘Applewood Land’, but the word ‘land’ fell off, after some falling rocks rolled down the mountain during the quake.”

“Seems like a coincidence. It looks better that way!” Apple Bloom said with glee.

“Come to think of it, it is!” Silver Spoon agreed. Just then, Diamond Tiara punched her in the shoulder. “OW!”

“Don’t agree with her!” Diamond whispered to her.

Apple Bloom raised her hoof. “Miss Cheerilee?”

“Yes, Apple Bloom?” Cheerilee responded.

“How much did all the damage after the quake cost?” she asked.

“That’s a very good question, Apple Bloom!” Cheerilee said.

“That’s a very good question, Apple Bloom!” Diamond Tiara mimicked to herself with an attitude.

“You see, not the entire city was destroyed by the quake; though lots buildings were pretty damaged.” Cheerilee explained. “It cost about 898 million bits to repair the entire city!”

“Whoa! That’s a lot of bits!” Scootaloo said in shock.

“Indeed it was, Scootaloo! Indeed it was!” Cheerilee said.

“What caused the Earthquake anyway? Was it a giant monster that lived under the city?” Scoots asked.

“Please! Everypony knows there can’t be a giant monster under the city. That’s just not possible!” Diamond Tiara said, picking on her.

“Oh and like you know all about monsters.” Scoots said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, don’t be like that, Scoots! She should know her own species!” Sweetie Belle teased and the whole class laughed, including Silver Spoon, and Diamond punched her again.

“OW!” Silver Spoon yelled. “I just like to blend in!”

“Now students, this brings us to….” Cheerilee was about to say, but before she could finish, I burst through the school house doors, making alarming noises, wearing a fire costume, and ringing a couple of Town Crier bells.

“UH OH! FIRE, FIRE! WEE OOO, WEE OOO, WEE OOO, WEE OOO! THERE’S A FIRE IN THE SCHOOL!” I yelled.

“Oh no, class! It seems our school has a fire!” Cheerilee yelled to the class. “What do we do if there’s a fire?”

“We fight it!” Scootaloo yelled.

“No, we stop, drop, and roll.” Sweetie Belle said, rolling around on the floor.

“No, we get out, and let the fire department handle everything!” Apple Bloom yelled.

“That’s right, Apple Bloom!” Cheerilee said.

“That’s right, Apple Bloom!” Diamond Tiara mimicked with an attitude. So all the kids were about to run out the door, but I stood in the way.

“Uh oh! The fire is blocking your only way out! OH NO! What are you gonna do?” I teased.

“We just run through?” Twist asked.

“We just sit and wait for the fire department?” Pipsqueak asked.

“We get out another way, and head to the donut shop, and call it a day?” Snails asked.

“Snails, that’s gotta be the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Snips said to him.

“No, actually he’s right, Snips.” Cheerilee said.

“See? I am so smart!” Snails danced and sang. “I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T… I mean S-M-A-R-T!”

“You have to rub it in?” Snips asked, annoyed.

“WHY ARE YOU STANDING AROUND?! THE FIRE’S SPREADING!” I yelled, getting closer to the kids, and they backed off.

“Oh wait; he’s not blocking the door anymore!” Twist cried out.

“If I already stood somewhere that means the fire is still there.” I informed her.

“C’mon! Out the window, let’s go!” Scootaloo yelled, opening the window and jumping through, and the kids in school followed. Snips and Snails jumped at the same time, and got stuck.

“Oh wait!” Silver Spoon stopped everypony else and started drawing faces on Snips and Snails’ flanks, and then laughed. “Look Diamond Tiara, I drew faces on their flanks!” Diamond just glared at her and just kicked Snips and Snails right through the window, and jumped through.

“You’re an idiot, Silver Spoon.” Diamond said annoyingly to her. Just then the rest of the students climbed out of the window and made it outside.

“That was awesome!” I said excitedly. “That was really fun, Cheerilee! That was really fun! It was more fun then-“

“DIE, FIRE!” Truffle Shuffle cried out as he sprayed me with a fire extinguisher. I fell on the ground, and I started yelling and spitting the foam out of mouth as Cheerilee just watched. Once the extinguisher was empty, I tried to get up, but then he threw the extinguisher at my head and ran away. Stars were spinning around on my head as I was lying on the ground unconscious.

“Well, at least he knew what to do if he was in an actual fire.” Cheerilee said and shrugged. Cheerilee let me hang around for the rest of the day and once the school day ended, the bell rung and the students ran out of the schoolhouse, all except the CMCs.

“Bye, my little ponies! Have a wonderful day!” Cheerilee cried out at her students.

“Ah! She said it! She said it!” I cried out in excitement. “Did you girls here it?”

“Here what?” Apple Bloom asked.

“She said ‘my little ponies’!” I said.

“Uh huh, so?” Scootaloo asked, feeling confused.

“You don’t get it?” I asked.

“Nope, sorry.” Sweetie Belle said. “Well, we’re going to try to get our cutie marks by beat-boxing. Wanna join us, Flare?”

“No thanks, little-ladies.” I said. “Your teacher never gets the chance to hang out. I wanna get to know her a bit, you know what I mean?”

“But mah brother is already with her.” Apple Bloom said.

“What? No, not in that way. I mean, Cheerilee is always busy, so I just wanna show her a good time! I’ll see you little fillies later.” I said.

“Alright, c’mon girls! Let’s go!” Scoots yelled in excitement and the CMCs all ran out of the school. Before Cheerilee went back inside to sit on her desk, I was in her seat, spinning around on it.

“Weeeeeee!” I cried in glee as I was having fun on her chair.

“Having fun, Flare?” Cheerilee asked.

“Indeed I am!” I said excitedly.

“Well, sorry to spoil your fun, Flare. But I have some work to do.” She chuckled and said.

“Work? You just finished teaching your class! You’re done for the day!” I said.

“Yes, I’m done teaching. Unfortunately, I have to make plans for tomorrow’s class, so I’ll have to get back to work.” She said sadly.

“No problemo, sista! You work now and when you finally get out, we can hang! Sound like a good plan?” I asked.

“I’m sorry, Flare.” She said and sighed.

“Why you sorry?” I asked.

“Usually when I’m done, I have to go to yoga.” She said.

“Oooooh, the Yoda, you do? Hmm? Then after that, hang out, we do?” I asked.

Cheerilee giggled. “No, not ‘Yoda’, ‘Yoga’.”

“Ooooooh, yoga!” I nodded. “What’s that?”

“It’s a type of exercise that helps your body, preventing it from aches or cramps. It’s mostly stretching exercises.” She explained.

“I know what yoga is, no need to remind me.” I said.

Cheerilee was confused for a sec. “Well….. anyway……. After yoga is when I have to try and finish my novel.”

“Hold the phone a sec.” I said.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Hold the phone up, I might’ve left my tootsie roll under it.” I said, pointing to her phone on her desk. Cheerilee lifted up the phone, and there was the tootsie roll. “Heeeeey! There you are, my little friend!” I took the tootsie roll unwrapped it, and threw it in my mouth. “So you saying you’ll be busy all night?”

“Pretty much.” She said.

“No worries. I’ll be open on the weekend.” I said.

“Flare, can I tell you something real quick?” she asked.

“No, I understand, you don’t wanna hang out with me. It’s cool, no worries, sista. I know how it is. At least you’re being honest.” I said. “You’re like my friend Blaze a bit; you know him right?”

“No, not that.” She sighed. “I never have any free time.”

“You didn’t answer my question yet. Do you know my friend Blaze?” I asked.

“Yes I know him.” Cheerilee sighed and said.

“Who is he?” I asked.

“He’s a Wonderbolt and he’s a friend of yours. Why are you asking me this?” Cheerilee asked.

“Eh, most of you pony folk keep socializing with me, but not so much with my friends. You should hang out with them.” I suggested.

“Don’t worry, Flare, I know each of your Noble Six friends, but like I said before, I have no time to hang out.” Cheerilee said.

“Lawl what?” I asked.

“It’s true.” She said.

“I see you hanging out with Big Mac on certain days.” I reminded her.

“Well, actually, it’s only dinner, and either him helping me with work or me helping him with work. Other than that, I have no free time. Always busy, busy, busy!” she said.

“Busy, busy, busy? Wow that’s a lot of busies! Maybe you should take a break.” I suggested.

“I wish I could, Flare. Oh how I wish I could.” She said. “But I can’t. I can’t all the fun affect my teaching duties and such.”

“GASP! And such?! Not and such! Wow…” I said shockingly.

“Nothing I can do about that, dear.” Cheerilee said.

“But Cheer, don’t you see? You’re letting your whole life pass you. You need to have a good time every once in a while! Don’t get stuck with work, work, work, with your busy, busy, busy life, life, life.” I said.

“Well, well, well…. Oh great you got me saying it!” she facehoofed.

“Yeah I’m good at that, aren’t I?” I teased.

“I can’t let fun get into my head. I’m a teacher after all and what a teacher has to do, is what a teacher has to do. I mean, the kids have the easy life, but you know how tough being a teacher is, Flare?” she asked.

“Well, not as a teacher, but as a restaurant owner, yes.” I said.

“Yeah, how’s your business going anyway?” she asked.

“Business is slow, but mainly because of the Super Bull. Hoofball season is almost over, but I don’t really watch it for the game, I watch it mainly because of the commercials, and the halftime show, and I heard Filloncé will be playing this season!” I said.

“I see.” She said.

“C’mon, Cheer! Let out your inner filly! You gotta have some fun!” I said.

“I’m sorry, Flare. But there’s nothing I can do.” She said.

“Okie doke, but first, tell me: When did you stop having fun?” I asked.

“Oh, Flare. I think that’s a story I’ll leave off for another time.” She said, and she was about to sadly walk out of the school, but I ran in front of the door, blocking her way out.

“C’mon, tell me! I’m your friend! You can tell me anything!” I charmed her.

“Look Flare, there’s really nothing more I gotta say on this subject.” She said, trying to find a way around me, but I keep blocking her path. “Flare can you move, please?”

“I’ll move if you tell me your backstory!” I said.

“It wasn’t much. It was wacky. That’s all I’m gonna say.” She said. “Now if you be so kind? I really have to go.”

“You call that a backstory? LAWL, even the Ugly Barnacle was a bigger story than that!” I said.

“Flare!” she yelled.

“Fine, fine!” I said as I moved out of her way. “But you just wait, Cheerilee! I’m gonna find out why you can’t have fun, if it’s the last thing I do! Wait…. actually, it won’t be the last thing I’d do. The last thing I’d do should be something better than that.

A cutaway shows me laughing and doing snow angels pinecones. “The last thing I wanna do involves pinecones.” I said to the camera. “Lots and lots of pinecones.” Just then a bunch of nacho cheese gets dumped all over me. “And nacho cheese; although, this cheese is burning me real bad, so this is gonna be the last thing I’m gonna do anyway.” The cutaway ends.

So we start with Cheerilee walking back to her house and did some yoda- I mean yoga. Her spine cracked as she was doing it, so she had to get her icy-hot pad thing in her closet, so she walked into her closet to get her pad, but while she was looking for it, she saw a box underneath one of the shelves that say: ‘Memories’. She sat down and looked at the box, and then she was thinking about what I said about her backstory earlier. She thought to herself for a little bit, but then she had the urge to look at what’s inside her box. She tore off the tape that was keeping the box shut and she opened it. She looked inside and saw all her worthless junk from her past. Inside the box were her pom-poms of when she was a cheerleader, there was a little box inside that contained her braces, and there was even her wacky hair dyes and stickers and make up inside from when she looked wacky in the early 1990s, and there was even a picture book inside. She took out the picture book, blew away some of the dust, and opened it. It saw her with her old friends from her past, and all her wacky mane-styles, outfits, tattoos, and everything! Some pictures had her cheerleading for the school hoofball team, her flirting with the skateboarding dudes, and even a dorky picture of her showing her braces. She didn’t know, but I was standing behind her the whole time.

“Whatcha got there, Cheer?” I asked. She screamed, and closed her book and box.

“Flare? How did you get in here?” she asked.

“I didn’t want to intrude, but your door was unlocked, and I needed to tell you that Snips and Snails are egging your house, that I definitely DID NOT suggest them to do.” I said.

“Oh…. Well, they’ll be in trouble tomorrow.” she said.

“Whatcha lookin at?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh this is nothing.” She said, pushing her box under the shelf.

“Memories, huh? Looks like you were taking my advice!” I said, peeking at the box.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She said nervously.

“C’mon, let’s take a look inside!” I said.

“I’m sorry, Flare, but this is secret. Now please, I have stuff to do, so can you go?” she asked.

“Okie doke!” I said, walking out of her room.

“Thank you.” She said gratefully. She then got up, got her icy-hot pad, and walked out of her room.

“So can we look at the box now?” I asked. She got startled because she didn’t know I was still here.

“What are you still doing here?” she asked.

“You told me to go; I thought you were talking about go out of your room?” I asked.

“I meant out of my house. Please, Flare?” she asked.

“Can I look at your memory box first?” I asked. She sighed.

“Alright, you want to see my memory box?” she asked with an attitude. She took me into her closet and pointed to her box. “There! You saw the box. Now please go!”

“Can we look inside?” I asked.

“NO!” she yelled.

“GASP!” I yelled. “You mad, sis?”

Cheerilee sighed, and calmed herself down. “I’m sorry, Flare. I really don’t want to share my memories with anypony. So please, I need some time.”

“I can take a hint. T-T-Y-L, sista!” I said as I trotted out of her house. She just stood there, and looked at her box again. She sighed, and she shut her closet door, and she laid down on her couch with her pad on her back. I went over to Twilight’s house so I can have a chat with my ol buddy Spike. We were playing chess. I just took out his castle.

"AH HA! KING ME!" I yelled.

"Dude, this chess, not checkers. Besides you didn't reach the end." Spike corrected him.

"You’re only correcting me just to hide your shame of losing, aren’t you?" I asked him mischievously. Spike then growled and threw the chess board across the room. "Wow, what did that board ever do to you?”

"You cheat!" he yelled.

"Sue me then.” I said mischievously.

”Fine, I’ll see you in court.” Spike said.

“What do you wanna play then; tennis, basketball?” I asked.

“Wait what?” Spike asked.

“What?” I asked.

“You lost me.” Spike said.

“And I found you again in front of me.” I pointed out.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, dude.” Spike said.

"Neither do I! I am so confused right now!" I started to freak out.

"ME TOO!" Spike yelled.

"WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON HERE?!" I yelled.

"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW!" Spike yelled. We started screaming really loud but as we were doing so, Twilight was standing at the end of her stairs, giving us a nervous look.

"Uhh, are you guys okay?" she asked. Spike and I froze for a sec.

"You know what? I don't remember." I said.

"Neither do I." Spike said. Twilight chuckled and shook her head as she walked back to her room.

"So Spike, you know Miss Cheerilee, right?" I asked him.

"Uhh, yeah." he said.

"Yeah I know her too, she's a nice mare!" I said and nodded.

"I agree!" he said. "She gave me a sweet hat for my birthday last year!"

"Oh I gotta see it later, but first I need to ask for your onion." I said.

"My what?" he asked.

"Your onion." I said.

"My..... onion?" he asked confusingly.

"Yeah your onion." I nodded.

"Uhhhh.... oooooook, what do you mean by that?" he asked.

"You know, asking about what other's think, what their onion is." I explained.

Spike tilted his head. "I'm not sure if I'm following."

"You know..... there are fax, and there are onions." I explained. Spike still didn't know what I was talking about.

Just then, Twilight peeks her head through the door and says; "He's talking about opinions, Spike. He's pulling your leg again."

"No I'm not! Don't lie to him, Twilight! I'm not even touching him!" I corrected her. Twilight rolled her eyes, and closed the door.

"You want my opinion, huh Flare?" Spike asked.

"Yeah I want your onion." I nodded. Spike just glared at me. "You know how Cheerilee is always busy all the time, with her students, and her school, and her yoda? Well, she needs some fun in her life. I was talking to her earlier today and she looks like a busy mare; probably too busy if you ask me."

"Come to think of it, she hasn't shown herself out in the streets that often anymore." Spike said.

"Exactly, that's what I'm saying!" I continued. "Cheerilee needs some fun in her life! She needs to drop her work, and start going out, being happy, and not holding that pen, grading her tests, and such!"

"Wow, and such huh? Seems tense. Well what do you have in mind?" Spike asked me.

"I think it's time to teach the teacher! Teach her, teacher..... wait what?" I just confused myself after I said that. "Wait hold on, Spike, let me get my bearings." I took a deep breath, so I can think about what I'm saying. "Ah! I got it! I gotta teach.... the teacher..... teach her..... about..... fun..... RE-teach her… because that's who she was in the past! A fun, club.... teach..... look my point is, I can help her get back to who she was in the 90s. I grew up in the 90s, so I should know all about how to get her back to her old self!"

Spike put his finger in his ear and asked; "Okay, what did you just say?"

"Wait a second, something just puzzled me." I said.

"What is it?" Spike asked.

"Why are we playing chess? CHESS IS FOR NERDS!" I complained.

So Spike and I walked back over to Cheerilee's house, but before we arrived, Cheerilee was just sitting on her sofa, watching television, and eating yogurt. “We now return to Three Little Pigs.” The TV announcer said.

On the TV showed three little pigs like from the story, but they were trying to slide through a tight gap. “This mental hospital is really starting to scare me.” One of the pigs said.

“Not to worry, brothers. If we get caught, I still have my video camera.” Another pig said.

“Hey little pig!” the Big Bad Wolf said on the other side of the gap wall as he catches one of the little pigs. You don’t wanna know what happens after that.

Meanwhile outside, I then knocked on her door- no wait, Spike did, because I yelled at him for knocking at the door because I wanted to do it! Cheerilee got up and opened the door. "Hello, Flare. Hello, Spike. Can I help you with something?" she asked.

"Yeah hello, miss! I'm here to see Cheerilee, have you seen her?" I asked Cheerilee.

"Dude, she's right the-" I punched Spike in the arm after he said that, cutting him off. "OW!"

"Yeah, I'm looking for Cheerilee. Is she here?" I asked.

"Um, I'm right here." Cheerilee corrected me.

"Hmmm." I took a good look at Cheerilee, observed her, and then I shook my head. "Well, you do look and sound like her, but the Cheerilee I know is always happy.”

"Sorry Flare, I'm just going through a little bit right now. I'm afraid you'll have to come back some other time." she said, about to close the door on me, but my hoof blocks the door from closing.

"Hold it right there, sista!" I said, pushing the door open again. "I'm here to help out with your problems."

"Problems? What problems? I don't have any problems." Cheerilee corrected me.

"Oh you don't do you?" I asked.

"Exactly. So, I have some stuff to do right now." Cheerilee said, attempting to close the door on me again.

"Oh, you mean sitting down and watching TV?" I asked, with my hoof on the door, and pushing it open again.

"Well... I...." she stuttered.

“Yeah that sounds like LOADS of fun, Cheer… if you were me that is, but that’s not who you are. You like to party and be tacky.” I said.

“I gave up on all that though. I have responsibilities now. It’s the wise thing to do at this point.” Cheerilee explained.

"You should use this time wisely to hang out with me! Well, not just me, others too." I said.

"Sorry Flare...." she yawned. "But I'm really tired right now. So if you please...." she attempted to close the door again, but I stopped it the exact same way. "Will you quit doing that?”

“I would love to stop doing that. You’re destroying every cell on my hoof by doing that; however, I still have yet to know about your problem.” I said.

“I’m fine, Flare!” Cheerilee started to lose her patience.

"Please! Tell me your problem! I can tell by the look on your face that you wish you can have fun, but don't know how! Please tell me!" I begged. Cheerilee then sighed.

"You're not gonna leave it alone, are you?" she asked.

"Not really." I said.

"You know how Flare is." Spike said. I punched his arm again. "OW!"

“It’s my duty as a member of the Noble Six.” I said.

"Well if you insist. I heard stories from my students, saying how much you help them. I also hear those stories from Twilight, and Big McIntosh, so I guess I can give ya a chance." she said and smiled.

"Excellent! So where shall we begin?" I asked after she welcomed me and Spike inside, and we sat on her sofa with her.

“Nice place you got here, Cheerilee!” Spike said as he observed her house.

“Thanks, Spike.” Cheerilee said.

“Aren’t you going to offer us a refreshing beverage?” I asked.

“Umm… would you two like a refreshing beverage?” Cheerilee asked.

“Oh no thanks, I overdid it on the iced tea and I’m going to be peeing a lot tonight; might as well not overflow it.” I said.

“I’d like a beverage though. Got any lava juice?” Spike asked.

“Umm… no?” Cheerilee said.

“Nopony ever does, and I’m still figuring out why.” Spike complained.

“So talk to me, Cheer. What happened to you? Why did you settle down from partying?” I asked.

"Well, first off, I haven't had much fun in years. I've been teaching my class ever since I graduated Grand Teaching's University in Hoofington. I've been so busy with my classes that I never had the chance to have fun again." Cheerilee explained.

"Don't let teachings and plannings get to your head, Cheerilee." I said.

"Yeah, I mean, just look at you! Bags under your eyes,” Spike said as Cheerilee had a couple of plastic bags under her eyes, “your eyes are bloodshot,” one of her eyelids takes out a gun and shoots her other eye, and her other eye does the same thing, “you can't sit up straight, you're a mess!" Spike said.

"Gee, thanks." Cheerilee said sarcastically.

"Your welcome!" he said.

"Tell me, Cheerilee!" I said, holding her shoulders. "What made you happy in the past? What gave you your adrenaline?"

"Well it was a long time ago, you think I'll remember?" she asked.

"Aw c'mon, you're in your late 20s or early 30s, you're not Granny Smith, you can remember!" I said, tapping on her head.

"Well...." she said rubbing her head. "I did like watching skateboarding dudes. That seemed to make feel alive."

"And I know just the skateboarder!" I said. “So Cheer, you never asked if you wanted to take my coat.”

“You want me to take your coat?” Cheerilee asked.

”No thanks, it’s kinda freezing in here.” I said. Yeah from now on during most of Book 2 until at least late chapter 23, I’m going to be wearing my blue coat at night mostly and my vest in the day time. I’m going to be wearing my blue coat full-time though during chapter 16 as long as I’m outside. Thought I should mention that.

So Spike, Cheerilee, and I went over to the market district to check out my friend Black Thunder in action. He skateboards on the market stalls and park benches, and even the fountain in the middle of the square. He sees us walking along the square and he skateboards towards us.

"Hey Flare!" Thunder said, holding his hoof out.

"Sup Thunder?" I said, giving him a bro-hoof.

"Just rollin’." he said. "Hey Cheerilee!"

"Hey..... um... I'm sorry, I forgot your name." Cheerilee said embarrassingly.

"This is Black Thunder, a really good friend of mine, and the special somepony of my friend Crystal Iceblast." I said.

"Right!" Cheerilee said.

"So what can this skateboarder dude for ya?" Thunder asked.

"Cheerilee here says she gained adrenaline by watching skateboarders perform. Maybe you can fill in by doing so." I suggested.

"Sure! I got alot of tricks up my sleeve!" Thunder said.

"You're not even wearing a shirt." Spike corrected him.

"Check this junk out!" he said as he started performing his tricks in front of Cheerilee. Using his skateboard by going on market stalls, spinning around on the fountain, even flipping off the roof! Yeah Thunder is the best skateboarder I've ever met! He’s so good that he even skateboards while riding rollerblades on a bicycle! "How did you like that?"

"Yeeeeah, that was impressive, don't get me wrong, but… I-I didn't get a spark!" Cheerilee said.

“Well that was an official burn.” Spike said.

"What do you need a spark for?" Thunder asked. “I mean like I said I’m taken to Crystal.”

"I'm just trying to help Cheerilee have fun is all.” I said.

“Oh good cause I thought… well… Crystal would kill me if she found out.” Thunder said.

“Find out what?” Spike asked.

“Nothing, nothing… you know what? Don't worry about it." Thunder said. "I'll catch ya later, Flare." He went back on his skateboard and skateboarded away.

"Well that was helpful." Spike said sarcastically.

"Yes it was! We just learned something! Cheerilee needs a bigger push!" I said.

"Or maybe we can do this another time." Cheerilee suggested.

"No way, Jose, it's now or never. Let's keep trying. we can't give up!" I said.

“You didn’t say José right." Spike pointed out.

“I told you Spike-E, I like saying words on how they’re spelled.” I reminded him.

So we walked over to Sugarcube Corner to see if Pinkie knows how to get the fun back in Cheerilee again. We went and explained everything to her. "So let me get this straight. You want me to put the fun back into you because you work so hard every day, and forgot how?" Pinkie asked.

"Well at least repeating what I said is one way to know that you were listening.” I said.

"Can ya help me?" Cheerilee asked.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Pinkie asked with a glare. "Can I help put the fun back into you? Do you know who you're talking to? WELL DO YOU?!" Pinkie yelled in Cheerilee's face.

"Uhhh.... yes?" Cheerilee said, feeling a little nervous.

"Okee dokee lokey!" Pinkie said with a smile. "It's quite easy! The power of fun comes from within." Pinkie touches Cheerilee's chest where her heart is suppose to be. "You just need a little help bringing it back out, and I know just how to do it!" So Pinkie tried to do what she could to help Cheerilee bring the fun back in her again. First we tried bouncing on one of those bouncy balls kids sit on and bounce around in, Cheerilee couldn't get the hang of it. Me, Pinkie, and Spike did. These activities were Pinkie's ideas so don't ask me why we're doing these activities. Then we played a throw darts at a balloon game; Cheerilee missed the first two times, but she finally popped the balloon on the third dart, but the balloon was flying around the room after, fast like a bullet. We all ducked for cover, but when the balloon was finally out of air, it landed on Pinkie's alligator, Gummy; on his nose to be exact. After that Pinkie insisted that we make cupcakes. I wasn't good at making cupcakes, I'm a pizza, pasta, or other Italian dishes pony, but I don't have much experience in baking sweets like these. Well it turns out, neither did Cheerilee. She did worse than Apple Bloom when she made cupcakes, or so I heard, I wasn't in Ponyville then. Finally we tried hoof-gliding. Cheerilee enjoyed it at first, and we thought it was working. Unfortunately, it didn't, since the glider crashed into the mountain near the town. The same mountain Rainbow Dash crashed into the day before Gilda came to town. I didn’t even think there was a mountain that close to town.

Afterwards, we went back to Sugarcube Corner, as Spike and I were trying to pick the thorns off Cheerilee since she landed in a thorn bush. "Well, that certainly went well." Cheerilee said sarcastically.

"Too bad you had to land on that thorn bush. I didn't even know it was there at first." Spike said.

“So Pinkie, you have any other ideas on how to put the fun back into Cheerilee?” I asked.

“Any other? I didn’t even start yet!” Pinkie corrected me.

“Are you saying that those activities were just warm-ups and this is where the real fun begins, like during fights in movies where the pony getting defeated says ‘we’re just getting started’?” I asked.

“Um… no.” Pinkie corrected me. “I just watch ponies do things because it helps me think.” She explained as she sticks her hoof inside of her ears and it sticks out the other one.

“WHOA!” Spike yelled in shock.

“So did you actually think of any fun for me?” Cheerilee asked.

“Yes! I got the perfect thing!” Pinkie said.

“Let’s hear it.” Cheerilee said.

“We combine all that you just did into one thing! It would be ball hoping onto a glider and gliding into a mountain and a thornbush while throwing darts at balloons, while you wear this propeller hat.” Pinkie explained as she places a propeller hat on Cheerilee’s head. “Umm, I think you might need a mustache with that too.”

“How about no?” Cheerilee asked sarcastically.

“No? Never heard of a game like that before.” Pinkie said. “How about do all those things while wearing knee-pads for safety?”

"NO, NO, NO, NO!" Cheerilee yelled in anger as she marched away.

"What was she no-ing about? She falling out of a bathtub or something?" I asked.

“Duh! She’s playing no like she said!” Pinkie said with a smile and a squee. Spike and I just looked at each other in confusion.

“Are you as confused as I, Flare?” Spike asked.

“No, I’m just looking at you while you look at me because it fits into the situation.” I said.

So Spike and I went out to look for Cheerilee. We couldn't give up yet. We looked all over town for her, but couldn't seem to find her. "Hmm, I wonder where she ran off to?" I asked.

"I wouldn't look in a thorn bush if I were you because I highly doubt she's hiding in one of those things." Spike informed me.

"Uhh, what makes you think she's hiding, little man?" I asked.

"Little man?" he asked.

"You got a problem with me saying that?" I asked.

"No, it's just..... Shining Armor kept calling me that when I was small......er." he said.

"I wonder how he's doing? I haven't seen him in ages." I said.

“You saw him during the Chaos Mountain crisis.” Spike reminded me.

"Yeah, but I hardly bonded with him because we were both brainwashed.” I reminded him. “The only time I actually bonded with him was when he visited my shop, many months ago." Just then, we heard a noise inside from the trash cans next to a cottage. "Have you ever wondered if Cheerilee liked playing in the trash?"

"No, why?" Spike asked as I walked towards the trash cans.

"Oh just a feeling." I said, then I opened one of the trash bins, but there was only garbage in them. "AH HA!" I shouted.

"What? Did you find Cheerilee?" Spike asked.

"No, I found an empty box of Rasin Bran." I said, taking the box out of the trash bin.

"Uhhh.... what do you need that for?" Spike asked.

"Nopony remembers to take out the box tops." I said. "Each box of a certain type of bran has box tops to donate to the schools, and it turns out this box doesn't have a box top in it.”

"What do you mean?" Spike asked.

"I mean, that the box top is already cut out." I said, showing Spike the hole on top of the box where the box top used to be. "And if there's no box top, and this isn't Cheerilee's house right here, then that means...." I opened the second trash bin, and there she was! "Ta da!" I said excitedly.

"Wow, I'm impressed!" Spike said.

"How did you know I was here?" Cheerilee asked.

"Next time you hide in the trash, don't cut out the box tops." I advised her, giving her a wink.

"Why are you hiding in the trash anyway?" Spike asked.

"I.... look, Flare, I appreciate all you're doing, I really am." she said. "It's just..... I'm not really who I meant to be anymore."

"Says the one talkin trash. LAWL!" I teased and laughed.

"Yeah, ha ha." Cheerilee said sarcastically. "Look, I can't have fun anymore. I don't have the strength in my body to prevail anymore. Not even Pinkie Pie can help. I'm sorry." Cheerilee climbs out of the trash bin, and shakes the trash off of her hair.

"Look, Cheerilee- Ooo! I could use a good comb! This one is still good." I said taking the hair comb off her hair that was from the trash and I placed it in my vest pocket. "Look, I know the fun has died out of you, and I know Pinkie did her best."

"But if Pinkie can't do it, nopony can." Spike said. "You'll need some type of potion in order to get back in shape again, Cheerilee."

"Potion.... potion. That's it!" I yelled. "A potion! A potion can bring back your fun, Cheerilee! It's like an energy drink! Like red bull, except it doesn't give you wings and it doesn’t have any badly animated commercials.”

"I dunno, I have quite a high blood pressure, Flare." Cheerilee said.

"High blood pressure? You look as healthy as Angel Bunny after eating one of those big salads with the whip cream and cherry on it that Fluttershy makes for him on occasions." I said. "And I know just where to get these potions!" Suddenly after that, we went to Fluttershy's cottage.

"You want what?" Fluttershy asked.

"Some of those salads that you make for Angel! If Cheerilee eats one those, maybe she'll have fun again!" I explained.

"Oh, you want me to make you Angel's favorite meal, Miss Cheerilee?" Fluttershy asked.

"No thank you, Fluttershy!" Cheerilee said to her with a smile. "I don't even know why we're here. Flare, why are we here?"

"Oh, you don't wanna be here? Oh, um, it's fine. I'll let you guys go." Fluttershy said, about to close the door.

"No need, Mama Flutters! We want that salad you make for Angel, so ol Cheerilee here can have fun again!" I said.

"Ok, no problem, Flare; coming right up." Flutters said. "Wait right here." Flutters goes into her kitchen to make the salad.

"Umm, I'm sorry, but how is a salad gonna help me have fun?" Cheerilee asked.

"Isn't that what I just said back near the trash bins?" I asked.

"No, you said you wanted to make a potion, as an energy boost to help me have fun again." Cheerilee reminded me.

"Oooooooh!" I said slapping my head. "I totally got it all mixed up! We were talking about you have an energy boost to have fun again, and I was talking about one of Fluttershy's salads, I got it all mixed up! I'm so stupid!"

"Don't blame yourself, Flare. We all make mistakes." Cheerilee said to me with a smile.

"Don't try to cheer me up when you're really mad at me." I advised her.

"Don't be silly! I'm not mad." Cheerilee corrected me, still smiling.

"Yeah you are." I corrected her. Cheerilee sighed.

"Look, you know where we can get one of those potions?" she asked me.

"I know a few places. Follow me." I said, as we both walked away from Fluttershy's cottage. We were already gone when Fluttershy came back with the salad.

"I'm here with your salad." Flutters said, holding the salad. She then looked around outside for us. "Um, hello? Miss Cheerilee? Flare?" We were already too far away out of sight, so she shrugged. "Ready for an early lunch, Angel?"

Eventually, Cheerilee and I went over to Zecora's hut to see what she can do. We were just standing outside her hut.

"Zecora's hut?" Cheerilee asked.

"Noooo, we're going to Naboo." I said sarcastically. "Where do you think? Where are we standing right in front of?"

"Yeah, I see it." Cheerilee said.

"C'mon let's go inside!" I said as I started to walk up to her hut, but I saw a lady bug on a branch so I stopped. "Ooo, lady bug!" So we went over to her door and Spike was about to knock on it, but I slapped his hand away. Yeah Spike is still with us, I forgot to mention that.

"OW!" he yelled. I was about to knock on the door, and it looked like it was gonna be gently, but I just banged on the door.

"OPEN UP! THIS IS THE POLICE!" I shouted. "I GOT A WARRENT AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!"

"Oh police, what have I done?" Zecora asked, as she opened the door. "Why it's not the police, it's Flare Gun.”

"I can't fool you, miss zebrah!" I said.

"What can I do for you three? From I hear, it's a potion you need!" Zecora said.

"You heard correct." I said. "My good friend Cheeriee wants some of your special magic liquid to boost her spirit of fun!"

“That didn’t sound right at all.” Spike said.

"Did you try finding help from Pinkie Pie?" Zecora asked.

"Nope." I shook my head.

"Then let's see what I can find." Zecora said, looking through her shelves for something that might help. "Finding a potion to give you a boost fun, it'll make you energetic and hyper by the time we're done." As Zecora was looking for the potion, Spike finds a mustache potion on the shelf. He then takes it, then drinks it. Meanwhile, Zecora finds just the potion Cheerilee needs and gives it to her. "Drink it all down, and your fun will certainly come around."

"See? Cheerilee? See? All you need is a little boost from this squash kiwi-looking liquid substance and your problems will be solved!" I said.

"Well...." Cheerilee just looked at the potion with a nervous look.

"Drink it, come on!" I said. "Come on! Come on!" Cheerilee was about to drink it, but I kept shouting at her, which started to irriate her a bit. "Come on, drink it! DRINK IT! DO IT FILLY!"

"You're not helping!" Cheerilee yelled at me.

"DRINK IT! DRINK IT! DRINK IT!" I shouted at her, but then Zecora tapped my shoulder, which calmed me down; I dunno how though. "Sorry." I said to Cheerilee. Cheerilee hesitated, but she was just about to drink it, but then I shouted. "WAIT!" Then she stopped.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Does this potion have any side-effects?" I asked.

"What?" Cheerilee asked.

"The side-effects by drinking this potion. We gotta know the side-effects. Better safe than sorry, right?" I suggested.

"He's right you know." Spike said.

"I'm pretty sure my potions are fine. I have a potion-making license, so this isn't a crime." Zecora said, showing us her potion-making license.

"THEN DRINK IT ALREADY!" I shouted at Cheerilee.

"Alright! Alright!" Cheerilee said. She was about to drink it, but I stopped her again.

"WAIT!" I yelled. "We should tell a doctor."

"Zecora has graduated medical college." Zecora said, showing us her diploma. "Now drink up so you can get out of my cottage."

"Then do it, Cheerilee! Who's stopping you?" I asked.

"Apparently, you are, Flare." Cheerilee said, about to drink it, but I stopped her again.

"WAIT!" I yelled.

"I'm just gonna drink it." Cheerilee said, and just drank it. We waited for a few seconds to see what'll happen, but nothing happened. Cheerilee was just standing there, with a concerned look.

"Yeah, I'm bored." I said.

"Yeah me too, I'm going back to Twilight's." Spike said, with a mustache on his face.

"Sure thing, brah." I said, not even noticing the mustache.

"Yeah, I don't feel any different." Cheerilee said.

"Give it time Miss Cheerilee. The power should be activate after a full night's sleep." Zecora adviced her.

"A full night's sleep? Wow, why didn't I think of that?" I asked sarcastically.

"I dunno, Flare. Maybe I'm not meant to have fun anymore." Cheerilee said.

"Nonsense! Just listen to the crazy striped pony; she knows what she's doing!" I said. Zecora just glared at me after I called her a crazy striped pony. So we all went home, and even when she got to her home, Cheerilee wasn't feeling any different. It was weird, but it’s Zecora, anything could happen. I once got a pimple from eating pizza for lunch after I went to Zecora’s and it wasn’t there before. I was pretty furious at that. Nothing will stop my good looks.

The next day came, I was at my shop and I made 20 Apple-Crisp pizzas, and 10 bags of Cinnamon rolls for AppleJack. "Here you are Jackie! Here are your apple-crisp pizzas, and cinnamon rolls for your family reunion!" I gave them to her.

"Aww thank ya, Flare!" AppleJack said.

“Don’t say ‘aww’, I don’t like that.” I instructed her. “But regardless, not a problem! I really wish I could go and meet your family, but I have to watch the shop.”

"It's alright, sugarcube. Ah'll tell the ones ya know that you said hi." AppleJack promised.

"You promise?" I asked.

"Pinkie promise!" AppleJack said, crossing her heart, and putting her hoof on her eye.

"Well it would be a great mistake if you broke that promise. LAWL!" I said.

AppleJack chuckled along. "Yeah it would!" she nodded.

"So who's gonna be in the reunion? Is Braeburn coming?" I asked.

"Eeyup!" AppleJack nodded.

"Babs?" I asked.

"Eeyup!" AppleJack nodded.

"Apple Fritter?"

"Yes."

"Apple Bumpkin?"

"Yes."

"Red Gala?"

"Yes."

"Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart?"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes."

"Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp, Apple Cobbler, Peachy Sweet? Wait, I said Apple Tart twice.”

"All of the above, yes!" AJ continued to smile.

"I would've thought you would've been annoyed by it by now?" I asked.

"Nope! Go ahead, continue!" AppleJack said.

"Apple Tarty looks alot like my friend Spark Note you know." I said.

"Yeah, ah suppose he does." AppleJack said.

"Is Apple Bloom, Big Mac, and Granny Smith gonna be in it?" I asked.

"Of course! Ah wouldn’t want them to miss it for the world.” AppleJack said.

"How about AppleJack, is she gonna be in it?" I teased. AppleJack just smirked at me.

"No, she ain't gonna be in it." she teased and then we both laughed. Just then, we heard a loud 'WOOOO HOOOO' coming from outside as Motley Crue’s Wild Side starts playing in the background, but only the instrumental, the lyrics are too inappropriate for this story. "Uh, did y’all hear that?" Then Cheerilee just bursted through my door, riding a scooter all around the shop, on top of the tables, the stage, and on the walls. She started knocking stuff over, ruining food, and…. yeah.

"CHEERILEE!? What are you doing?!" I yelled.

"HAVING FUN!" Cheerilee yelled, still riding the scooter through the store.

"I think you should go now." I said to AppleJack.

"Can do." she said, taking the pizzas and rolls as she began running back outside.

"Cheerilee what's going on?!" I yelled at her, but she wouldn't stop, she kept going. "Cheerilee?! CHEERILEE?!" She still didn't stop, so I took used my magic to put a chair in front of her, and she tripped off the scooter and landed on the soda machine. She got up quickly though, and ran towards me.

"HEY, Flare!" Cheerilee yelled, and jumped in front of me.

"I'm..... assuming the potion worked?" I asked, leaning back from her, looking a little freaked out.

"HAY YEAH IT WORKED!" Cheerilee yelled, and began jumping around. "I feel so alive right now, Flare! I never felt this alive before!"

"I'm glad you're back to the way you were before, sista! I know this fun thing is a little new and it's hard to control, but you'll get into it." I said. "Let's see your kids at the schoolhouse see your fun."

"You're right! I should show my students ways having a good time!" Cheerilee said. She takes the scooter and rides out of the shop and yells; "Thanks for everything, Flare!"

"Your welcome!" I yelled back. Just then Scootaloo suddenly ran inside my shop looking worried. "Hey Scoots! What's going on?"

"No time to talk now! I'm looking for my scooter, have you seen it?" she asked, very worriedly.

"Check the schoolhouse, and look for Miss Cheerilee." I instructed her.

"Thanks, Flare!" she said, running fast out of my shop. It was pretty strange though. You know what I was thinking about that was strange? Why was I playing chess at Twilight's house before? CHESS IS FOR NERDS!

Meanwhile over at the school house, all the students were sitting at their desks, awaiting for Cheerilee to arrive. A paper airplane was glided over towards Apple Bloom. She opened it, and it said: ‘I think you finally have your cutie mark!’ She gasped, and then she looked down, but she saw it wasn’t there. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon started laughing at her and AB just glared at them. Then somepony threw another paper airplane at her, and it hurt her. “Ow!” she cried. She then opened it up and it says, ‘I think you’re cute.’ with a little heart in the end. She just looked back at Diamond and Silver giving them a weird look, and then they pointed to Featherweight, and Apple Bloom gave him a wink, but it wasn’t him, because he pointed to Snails who was giggling and waving at her, she then she just gave him a ‘what the hay’ look. Just then another paper plane landed on Apple Bloom, and she shouted “Ow!” and she opened it, and it said, ‘That was actually for Sweety Bell.’ Yeah, he misspelled Sweetie Belle’s name.

“What is that?” Sweetie Belle asked Apple Bloom about the note.

“Oh, it’s nothin.” Apple Bloom said, putting the note inside her desk. Just suddenly, everyone in the class started hearing techno music coming from outside the school. They all looked around, Twist checked her ears to see if there was cotton in them, and everypony felt pretty confused. The music started getting louder and louder.

“Do you all hear that?” Scootaloo asked. “Also I got here pretty fast, didn’t I?”

Just then, Cheerilee burst right through the door with a boom box up to her ear, and wearing some wacky colorful striped 1980s clothes, some colorful shades, and her mane looked like pink and white spaghetti noodles. She walked inside the classroom and started dancing to her techno music; she danced like when somepony is dancing to rap music. She dropped on the floor, spun on her flank, and her legs were waving around. Her class just stared at her weirdly, except for Truffle Shuffle who was just shaking his head up and down to the music. “Yay! Music! Not as good as the polka song about patterns, but it still beats dupstep!”

“Uhh, good morning, Miss Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom said.

“YES! It is a good morning. They don’t call you da-Bloom for nothin!” Cheerilee said to her face.

“Ooooook then.” Apple Bloom said, looking a little freaked out.

“Since nopony has the guts to ask, why are you all dressed up like a hipster?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah, and dancing like one too?” Sweetie added.

“Why not dress up like a hipster and dance like one too?” Cheerilee asked as she continued dancing. “For today class, I’m going to show you my hip moves! Just watch and learn students!” She then jumped on her desk, kicked all her stuff off it, and danced on it.

“Are you sure this is a decent lesson to learn?” Scootaloo whispered at Sweetie.

“Rarity never told me anything about this being a subject.” Sweetie whispered back at Scoots.

“HA! I’m loving this new Cheerilee!” Snips yelled out as he moved around on his seat.

“Yeah, me too!” Snails said, moving around on his desk too, but keeps tilting his chair.

“My dad is going to soooo sue this school!” Diamond complained.

“You know, Miss Cheerilee. We’re glad you’re havin’ fun!” Apple Bloom said.

“Yeah, totally!” Scoots said.

“But the thing is, ah don’t think we’re learnin anythin useful by ya’ll dancing like that.” Apple Bloom said.

“You know what? You’re right, Apple Bloom!” Cheerilee said.

“Thank you!” Apple Bloom nodded.

“I shouldn’t even be teaching here! Perhaps it’s time for me to move on, and spread my fun elsewhere!” Cheerilee said.

“Uhhh, ah don’t think…..” Apple Bloom was about to say.

“Thank you, Apple Bloom, thank you all! You’ve really inspired me, but it’s time for me to move on!” Cheerilee said. “I’ll never forget you as I unleash my wild side onto all of Equestria! So long!” She then jumped on Scootaloo’s sister, does a few tricks on it, and storms out of the school.

“HEY! THAT’S MY SCOOTER!” Scoots yelled, and started chasing her. “GIVE IT BACK!”

“Soooo, I guess school is cancelled?” Snips asked. Everypony was silent for a moment, but then all the students cheered and started throwing a lot of paper airplanes, except for Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom; they didn’t like the situation one bit.

“We’re gonna need some help.” Sweetie said to AB.

“Ah agree.” Apple Bloom agreed as a bunch of paper airplanes crashed onto her head again. “OW! OW!”

So the CMCs arrived at my shop to ask for my assistance, and I still wonder why they actually came to me and not their sisters. “FLARE! FLARE!” Apple Bloom yelled as all three of them ran inside the shop. “We need yer help!” I wasn’t around though. “Uh, Flare?”

“Flare’s in his office right now.” Spike said.

“Can we go in?” Sweetie asked.

“If you knock.” He said. “I kinda like working here. Unlike at home, I actually get paid.”

“Doesn’t Twilight give you gems?” Scootaloo asked.

“That solves my food problem, but it doesn’t solve my financial one.” Spike corrected them. “I mean who would use gems as money? That’s just ridiculous.” The CMCs all just looked at each other confusingly and then they just walked passed Spike and walked over towards my office door and knocked on it. I didn’t say come in, but they came in anyway.

“Flare!” Apple Bloom cried out, but I was on the phone talking to somepony.
I nodded on the phone, but then my eyes grew in shock, and then I yelled; “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ME?! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE DEALING WITH?!” I then I just looked at a giant red button beside my desk, and then I smashed it real hard, and then a part of my globe which was on my desk exploded. I then I laughed evilly the background changes to huge flash, once I stopped laughing, Spike pushes the flash background out from behind me and out of my office. The CMCs just looked at me with nervous looks on their faces.

“Oh hey, crusaders!" I said excitedly as I hung up the phone. “Why are you looking at me like that? I just made a phone call. Come to think of it, what are you doing here? Isn’t school still on, or is it early release date?”

“It would seem to be early release day.” Scoots said.

“Miss Cheerilee has……. Kinda changed. She seems….. different.” Apple Bloom said.

“By that we mean, COMPLETELY INSANE!” Sweetie yelled, crossing her eyes.

“Aw relax, Flank Tattoo Hunters, she’s just having fun!” I said.

“Flank Tattoo Hunters?” Scoots asked, feeling confused.

“Wait, you knew?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Of course I knew! It was that crazy zebra’s potion that did it! I knew it this whole time, and I’m so proud of her! It put the ‘cheer’ back into Cheerilee! Before she was just…… Lee. Leedle-leedle-leedle lee.”

“Hey thanks for the cinnamon rolls, Flare!” Black Thunder said skateboarding past me with a bag of cinnamon rolls.

“So it was Zecora that did it?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Wait, what’s goin’ on?” Thunder asked.

“Cheerilee was feeling down and she lost touch in her inner wild side. All she did was work, work, work and she needed some fun in her life. So we went to Zecora to get Cheerilee’s inner wild self to be released.” I explained.

“I’d say her inner Pinkie.” Thunder said.

“HAY YEAH HER INNER PINKIE!” I agreed with him, and gave him a bro-hoof.

"Look, we need help, Flare. What can we do?" Scoots asked.

“Why didn’t you go to your sisters first? Why me out of everypony else?” I asked. The crusaders were kind of confused because they didn’t know why either.

“We dunno.” Apple Bloom shrugged. Well I know why; it’s because this is my story and I make the rules around here. I know for a fact they’d go to the Mane Six before they ask for my assistance, but this is my story, my rules. I do the thinnin’ around here.

"Well what can you do?" I asked. The crused all looked at eachother confused, again. "Yeah, that's what I thought." I turned to Thunder. "Hey, Thunder? You wanna help me stop Cheerilee?"

"Sure! I got nothing better to do!" he said to me.

"What about us?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Not me." Apple Bloom said shaking her head. "Ah gotta help AppleJack set up for the Apple Family Reunion for tomorrow."

"It's too bad, Bloomie. You're gonna miss out on all the fun." I said to her giving a wink.

"Oh ah'm not worried, Flare! Just tell me all about it when y’all get back!" Apple Bloom said.

"Sure thing!" I said, as she then trotted out of the shop, leaving only Sweetie and Scoots.

"So what can we do?" Scoots asked.

"Well first thing’s first. First, I finish up here, and then we go find a cure at Zecora’s, and then we find Cheerilee and cure her from the wild side (yes, I’m quoting Motley Crue), and then we all come back here and have ourselves some delicious calzones.” I explained.

“Sounds like a plan!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly.

“I'm sure Zecora finding a cure for this would be just as easy as one of Angel's salad sundaes.” I said.

"So I guess we're going to that loco zebra's place?" Thunder asked.

"Pretty much." I nodded, but then suddenly, we ended up going to Fluttershy's house again. I asked her for another one of those salads.

"Oh, well, I made you one of those salads yesterday, but you left, so I thought you didn't want it?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yeah, but I want another one, if you please, Mama Flutters?" I asked nicely.

"No problem at all, Flare. I'll be right back." she said, going back inside her cottage to make it.

"Uhh, why are we here again?" Sweetie asked.

"For one of those salads with the whip cream and cherry on top." I said.

"I thought we were going to Zecora's?" Scoots asked. Just then I suddenly just bopped myself in the head.

"Dang it, of course! I just mixed up what I was explaining..... yet again!" I said. "Wizard of Feelings, I'm so stupid!"

"Hey, don't worry about it, man!" Thunder said, patting my shoulder. "These things happen all the time!"

"Yeah, but this is the second time! THE SECOND TIME, BRAH!" I screamed.

“Fool you twice, is nothing. Fool you three times, shame on you.” Thunder said.

“Umm… yeah, about that...” I almost confessed.

"Look, Flare, calm down! Let's just head over there and talk to her." Scoots said.

"Good idea." Sweetie said.

"Good plan!" I said, but then I saw another ladybug. "Ooo, lady bug!" and then we all just trotted away from Fluttershy's cottage and off to Zecora's hut. Flutters eventually came back out with the salad.

"Here you are, Flare. Nice and fresh." she said, but when she looked around we were already gone. "I'm really starting to think Flare is just playing with me. Oh… not that I have a problem with it." She then flew back inside her cottage. "Well it looks like your lucky week, Angel.”

So we went over to Zecora's to find a cure, and she told us what we needed to do; "To bring back the old Cheerilee you know and love, is to give her a dose which should be just enough. Giving her this potion made with ingredients that make you bored: History books, naggy wife saliva, and a CD that contains 7 hours of the Cloudsdale Rainbow Factory Tour."

"Thanks for your help, Zecora!" Sweetie said.

"Hey I've always wondered, what is your cutie mark about?" Scoots asked Zecora.

"No, Scoots, be quiet!" I whispered.

"Ah yes, the history of my cutie mark. It takes me way back when times in my homeland were dark." Zecora started telling the story of the history of her cutie mark, which takes her forever to finish, and trust me it's as boring as all hay! It took her 3 hours to finally finish the story! Thunder, Scoots, and Sweetie Belle were asleep in the middle of the story, and I was just starting to lose my nerve because I was feeling really impatient! When Zecora finally finished her boring story, we went over to Cheerilee's house to check up on here. Thunder was about to knock on the door, but I pushed him aside and started knocking on it myself, Sheldon Cooper style.

"OW!" Thunder yelled as he landed on a pile of trash cans. "What was that for?"

"For being an idiot!" I answered.

"Okay." he said, agreeing with me.

"She's a party animal now. If there's no loud noises in there, what makes you think she's home?" Scoots asked.

"Good point! No, wait, Sweet has a good point!" I teased as I poked Sweetie Belle horn. “Crimson Flare Gun poked you.” I continued knocking, but there was still no answer on the door. Sweetie Belle then pushed my hoof away from her horn because I was still poking it. “You poked Flare!” I said in a squeaky voice to her.

"It's no use, Flare. She's not home." Scoots informed me.

"Hey, Scoots, who am I? I AM SO OBVIOUS, I SOUND SO SMART BY POINTING OUT THE OBVIOUS, BECAUSE I AM SO AWESOME AND I BORE THE LIVING HAY OUTTA FLARE GUN!" I teased Scoots, mimicking her voice.

"Uhh, Psyche?" Scoots asked.

"Exactly! I sound like Psyche, and that's how you're sounding right now!" I said.

"Seriously?" Scoots asked.

"No, not seriously, nopony can sound as irritating as Psyche." I corrected her. Thunder reached under the welcome mat, and found a key.

"Hey, Flare, look what I found!" Thunder said, showing me the key.

"Oh cool! You found a twig!" I said, pointing to the twig that was stuck on his mane.

"Wait, what twig?" he asked.

"The one on your hea- Ooo, ladybug!" I said, pointing to the ladybug on the twig. Thunder then wipes the twig and all the dirt off his mane. "Thunder, what are you doing?!"

"Taking the dirt off my mane." Thunder said.

"The ladybug was still on it! It was supposed to give you good luck!" I infored him.

"Oh, poo. I forgot." he said as he inserts the key inside the door.

"HEY, HEY! Thund- Oh wait, did you hear what I said?" I asked.

"You said, HEY HEY." Thunder said.

"I know, but the way I said it, it sounded like Krusty the Clown." I commented.
Thunder chuckled, and then turned the key. "Hey, wait!" I yelled.

"What's wrong, bro?" Thunder asked.

"I don't think it's a good idea." I said.

"Flare's right. What we're doing is trespassing. We shouldn't go inside." Sweetie said.

"No, I mean it's not a good idea to keep a skateboard on somepony else's mailbox like that." I said, pointing to Thunder's skateboard on Cheerilee's mailbox. Thunder just continued unlocking the door and it opens. The house was dark and it smelled like cider. Thunder flipped the light switch to turn on the lights, but they wouldn't come on.

"Oh, that's spooky." Sweetie said.

"BOO!" Scoots snuck up on Sweetie, and scared her.

"AAAH!" Sweets yelled, and then Scoots started laughing. "NOT FUNNY, SCOOTALOO!"

"Aw c'mon, that was hilarious!" Scoots teased. I then shot flares from my horn around the room to light the place up.

"Let there be light." I said. Once the lights lit up, we saw that the house was a complete pig sty! There were pizza boxes on the floor, it looks like the floor hasn't been vacuumed in months, and it looked like the place was robbed, counting on all the furniture was knocked over.

"Pee you! Smells like Diamond Tiara's house in here!" Scoots complained, holding her nose.

"Why would you be at her house?" Sweets asked her.

"You know, I was here yesterday and it was as clean as a whistle." I said. "You know what's ironic? Whistles aren't very clean because of all the germs after somepony has blown it. Wait did I use that cliché already?”

"Hey what's this?" Sweetie asked, picking up a magazine.

"That's a magazine, captain obvious! Tongue face." I teased her.

"HEEY!" Sweetie yelled at me. "I'm GENERAL Obvious, not CAPTAIN!"

"No, I'm General Obvious." I corrected him.

"Are not!" she argued.

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too, DEE TWO!" I teased. “Beep boop beep.”

"Hey look what I found!" Thunder said from the upstairs a little while later.

"A ladybug?" I asked.

"No, look at this book!" he said, showing us the page with the Star Swirl the Bearded statue in Los Pegasus.

"Hey, that's the same statue we learned about in class yesterday!" Sweetie said.

"Let me see that!" Scoot said, taking the book. "Hm, so it is. So what?"

"So what? SO WHAT?!" Sweetie yelled in Scoots face, but then she said calmly; "I have no idea." Just then, Cheerilee's phone in the kitchen started ringing. Sweetie ran into the kitchen and tried to reach for it but it was too high.

“Hey, Sweetie can you get that?” I yelled from upstairs.

“I’m trying to get it, it’s too high!” Sweetie yelled back, trying to jump up and grab it.

“Don’t you have a horn? You can use your magic!” Thunder yelled from closet under the stairs. Sweetie attempted to use her magic to get the phone down to her, but she was unsuccessful.

“I can’t! I never learned how to use my magic yet!” Sweetie yelled.

“Yeah I know how you feel! Haven’t learned magic until I was 11!” I yelled out.

“Doesn’t one of the foals that the Cake’s have know how to use magic already?!” Scoots yelled from under the coffee table in the living room.

“You know, none of you are helping me feel better about myself!” Sweetie yelled back, as the phone continued ringing. Sweetie pushes one of the chairs near the phone so she can reach it, but then the phone stopped ringing the second she reached it. “AW C’MON!” she yelled.

“Hello! This is Miss Cheerilee! Sorry I’m not available right now, but please leave a message after the beep. Thank you, and have a great day!” Cheerilee’s answering machine said.

The machine beeped, and a voice came through; “Hey Cheer! This is your old friend Lily Bubs! If you haven’t left your house yet, I wanted to let you know that I’m ready to ROCK ‘N’ ROLL, just like old times! It’s time to do what we were supposed to do 13 years ago! Time to mess up Star Swirl the Bearded’s memorial! It’s too bad we were unsuccessful then since we were arrested. Ever your parents bailed your out you were really not into the fun anymore! It’s great to have you back! Meet us at the memorial tonight at midnight! Vinyl and I are waiting for ya! See ya then, marefriend!” Just then her friend hangs up.

“Uh oh.” Sweetie said nervously.

“Looks like Cheerilee is gonna have some super hardcore fun! I wish I was there to do something extreme like that!” Thunder said next to her.

“Wait, did she say Star Swirl the Bearded’s memorial?” Scoots asked.

“Well to me it sounded like she said Far Whirl the Speared. Isn’t that a character in Skyrim?” I asked.

“How am I suppose to know? I don’t play video games.” Scoots said.

“Wait! Cheerilee taught us in class yesterday about Star Swirl the Bearded’s memorial! It’s in Los Pegasus, near the Applewood sign. What is she planning?” Sweetie asked.

“Probably doing mass skateboarding stunts on the statues, and the stair cases.” Thunder assumed.

“No, maybe worse. I think she might disturb the memorial and unleash chaos on her for disturbing his internal rest!” Sweetie yelled.

“HOLY WIZARD OF HOPE, Star Swirl is Discord!” I yelled.

“No he’s not.” Scoots corrected me.

“Right, because Discord is the God of Fun, not the God of Chaos. That’s who this crazy magic pony Twilight admires has, and I have no idea who he is because I never bothered asking her about him. Twilight keeps talking about him so much, it gets irritating.” I said.

“We gotta get to Los Pegasus and stop her, before it’s too late!” Sweetie cried.

“Well, good luck to you!” I said, wishing her luck, and I was about to walk out, but then she grabbed my vest and stopped me.

“Oh no you don’t, Flare! You’re coming with us.” She said.

“Ok Sweetie Belle, I know you’re just a filly, but I never give ANY exceptions when ponies touch my vest!” I said angrily at her.

She releases her grasp on my jacket and said, “Sorry, but we need your help if we’re going to stop her from doing whatever she’s planning.”

“You know how much it costs for a plane ticket these days?” I asked. “Besides, I had enough flying for a while. I flown around during the time Photo Finish made my friends and I models, once when I went to Trottingham with Psyche, and let’s not forget the times I used my Wafflecopter to save the day.”

“Where is that thing anyway?” Scoots asked.

“It’s getting upgraded. Syrup is getting a little too expensive these days so I’m trying an alternate fuel source – orange juice.” I said.

“Look, this is important. We have to bring back Cheerilee. Who knows, maybe she didn’t even go to the airport yet.” Sweetie said with a positive attitude.

“Well it beats paying for a ride, let’s go!” I said.

“Looks like I’m here to help save the day for the first time!” Thunder said excitedly. “I’m pretty psyched about this!”

“Me too! I’m almost as excited as the time I met my real father!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly.

A cutaway shows Sweetie Belle meeting her father for the first time. “Daddy!” Sweetie cried in excitement as she gave her dad a big hug.

“Uhh, what?” Goku asked. I hope you got that. I don’t do cutaway gags without meaning you know. This has to mean something. The cutaway ends.

So we took a cab over to the airport real quick so we can catch her. We ran inside the airport and started running to the L.P. flight gate, seeing if Cheerilee was still there. We started running over there as I was playing Hard Days Night by the Beatles on my iPod. Thunder was skateboarding over there, jumping on benches, and plants, and even vending machines, doing awesome stunts to say the least. We had to stop at the security checkpoint though; they had to check us for anything suspicious. After the checkpoint we ran to the gate and met up with the mare at the desk that’s in front of the flight gate. We all stopped to catch our breath and I asked her if the next flight to L.P. was still there. She said the plane already left and apologized. We couldn’t give up though; we had to keep trying, so we rented a hot air balloon. It was much slower, there were no snacks, and over the whole 6 hours of the trip, Sweetie Belle just kept singing really loud in our ears. It was a good thing I packed some extra snacks with me. I would’ve taken the Wafflecopter over there, but like I said before – OJ. Finally, peace and quiet at the last second as Sweetie fell asleep on Thunder’s left hind leg. Later that night, Lily Bubs (a yellow Pegasus pony with a white mane and her cutie mark was a closed daisy) was waiting over at the memorial along with DJ Vinyl Scratch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDGsfK4Xke8

“Oh this is gonna be so rad!” Lily said chuckling.

“Yeah it is! I can’t believe we’re actually doing this!” Vinyl said with glee. Cheerilee started riding Scootaloo’s scooter up the stairs to the memorial, wearing a satchel on her back.

“Good to see you again, Cheerilee! You got the toilet papers?” Lily asked.

“Yeah-yah!” Cheerilee cried. “Did you bring the spray paint?”

“You know what, marefriend!” Lily said, holding the spray paint.

“What’s Vinyl doing here?” Cheerilee asked.

“She said she wanted to….. wait, what did you want to do?” Lily asked her.

“To take all the snapshots! Duh!” Vinyl said, holding a camera.

“Right, to take all the snapshots! All our memorable memories!” Lily said.

“So we ready to do this?” Cheerilee asked, smirking.

“Yeah we are!” Lily cried, as the three of them bro-hoofed, or sister hoofed, whatever you wanna call it. So the three of them started shaking their paint cans, took out their Charmin toilet paper rolls (I’d prefer they’d use the leading brand for something like this), and they were just moments away from starting the biggest prank in the book – messing with a legend’s grave, but before they were able to start, I shot a laser using my laser blast spell on the toilet paper that Cheerilee was carrying right before she was going to throw them, and then Thunder rode by with his skateboard and grabbed the all spray cans from Lily before she was going to spray the walls, and then before Vinyl was going to take pictures about all that’s going on, Sweetie Belle jumps from under Vinyl’s hooves, and grabs the camera with her mouth.

“Hey!” Vinyl yelled. Sweetie started mumbling at Vinyl, but Vinyl wasn’t able to understand what she was saying because of the camera in Sweet’s mouth. “What was that?”

Sweetie spit the camera out of her mouth and said; “I said, even one little flash could disturb Star Swirl.”

“Wait, this is Star Swirl’’s memorial? I thought this was Michael Jockson’s? YOU ALL LIED TO ME!” Vinyl yelled. “You wouldn’ve believe the lie I had to make just to get here!”

A cutaway shows Vinyl who was just about to believe her house, but her roommate Octavia suddenly stops her. “Excuse me, Vinyl? Where do you think you’re going?” Octy asked curiously.

“I’m…. going to go see Santa and make sure you get that new cello for Hearth’s Warming.” Vinyl lied.

“That’s ridiculous. Santa isn’t real.” Octy corrected her.

“You want to take that chance?” Vinyl asked.

“NO I DON’T WANT TO TAKE THAT CHANCE!” Octy yelled. “Go and see him and make sure it’s the silver one! Gold isn’t really my style.” The cutaway ends.

“What is going on here?” Lily asked.

“Flare, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and that skateboard pony from yesterday; what are you all doing here?” Cheerilee asked shockingly.

“To get some sweet Chinese food they serve at the restaurant nearby.” I said as Thunder elbowed me. “Oh, and stop you.”

“Stop me? From what?” Cheerilee asked.

“From messing up with Star Swirl the Bearded’s memorial!” Scoots cried out at her.

"I ain't gonna mess it up! We're just decorating it!" Cheerilee said.

“I ain’t gonna? My gosh, our teacher has finally lost it.” Sweetie Belle said. “She’s now teaching us incorrect grammar!”

"Cheer, I shouldn've pushed you too far, and I apologize deeply." I said. "I thought you were having a boring life by just hanging around and being a teacher and not having any fun, but now I realized why you stopped; I should've asked you first.”

"You don't need to apologize, Flare! I feel so alive for the very first time, and I think I can fly!" Cheerilee yelled, jumping off the ledge. She just floated there until she looked down, and then fell body first as her head just floated there with her neck stretching out, until her head followed along shortly there after. She then landed in the bushes down below. We all just looked at each other awkwardly until she ran back up the stairs.

“Wow is this the second time I’m doing this. I don’t even know why we’re looking at each other; I know what you all look like. It’s no secret.” I said.

"But you can't stop me from being me!" Cheerilee yelled.

"But the thing is this isn't you. I shouldn've changed who you are. It was wrong of me, and I think it's the right thing to change you back!" I said.

"Cheerilee, what are you waiting for? Let's do this!" Lily said impatiently.

"LET'S DO THIS!" Cheerilee yelled as she started trotting towards the statue to spray on it using the spray paint.

"I didn't want to force ya, but you left me no other onion." I said, even though I was actually suppose to say 'option', but I wanted to say 'onion' instead. "GO THUNDER!" So Thunder kicked his skateboard over to Cheerilee, and then Cheerilee steps on the skateboard, trips on it then falls on her back on the floor.

“OH! OH ARE YOU OK?!” Thunder yelled. “I was trying to aim for your hoof so you’d drop the spray paint and you tripped over it! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!”

“Why is that a problem, Thunder? You stopped her, right?” Scoots asked him.

“I’ll be lucky if I get out of this without a lawsuit on my hooves! Crystal’s gonna kill me.” Thunder said.

“Scoots!” I yelled as I then throw the healing potion over to Scoots and Scoots shoves it in Cheerilee's mouth, forcing it down her throat.

"I'm sorry, Cheerilee. But this is for your own good!" she said. Cheerilee burped up the potion, and then her eyes rolled.

"Huh? What?" Cheerilee asked as she rubbed her head.. "What happened?"

"Cheerilee's back!" Sweetie Belle yelled.

“Now that was just too easy.” Thunder said.

"Now hang on, is she? How is Miss Cheerilee feeling right now?" I asked.

"I feel..... confused. Where am I and why am I dressed like this?" she asked herself.

"Yay! Cheerilee's back!" Sweetie yelled as she then gave her a big hug. “She’s speaking in correct grammar now!”

"O....ok." she said confusingly.

"Well what are we gonna do now?" Lily asked. “Cheer’s back to her old self again.”

"You know, Mayor Mare was also a wild one in her youth. Why don’t we try her?” Vinyl suggested.

“Perfect! Let’s go see Zecora!” Lily said excitedly as her and Vinyl run off.

"Well, now that this useless story is over, I guess it's time for us to go- Ooo! Ladybug!" I said seeing a ladybug on top of the Star Swirl statue holding a spray can.

"Wait, what is the bug doing?" Thunder asked. The ladybug then sprays all over the statue which disturbed Star Swirl's memorial, and then the memorial just collapsed with us still in it. Now, I know that was a pretty useless gesture, but that's what happened. I don’t make the story; I just make up how I explain it in my point of view.

The next day came, and Cheerilee, Thunder, and I woke up at Ponyville Hospital, all patched up after the memorial collapsed on us. Now the reason why we’re at Ponyville Hospital instead of the L.P. hospital was because most of the ponies in that hospital were just addicts getting their stomachs pumped or they had gunshot wounds all over after gang fights, and I didn’t want to be around those types of ponies. I got Spike to write a letter to Princess Luna for me that morning, saying what I learned these past couple of days. After Spike uses his firebreath to send the letter to the princess, I have a short conversation with my hospital roomates: Cheerilee and Black Thunder.

“I still don’t get why we weren’t hurt.” Scoots said.

“Sorry, you two are too young to get injuries like that.” I said.

“Thank Faust for that.” Scoots said in relief.

"Wow, I can't believe the potion actually worked!" Cheerilee said surprisingly. "I was lucky not to be arrested again.”

"Well, I finally see why you've stopped acting wild in the first place." I said. “Sorry, Cheerilee.”

“It’s ok, Flare. I don’t want to be wild any more, but you do have a point.” Cheerilee said.

“Is my point that the memorial of Star Swirl the Bearded turned out to be a fake?” I asked.

"I can't believe the Star Swirl the Bearded Memorial was actually a fake." Scoots said. "It's a good thing my scooter wasn't damaged though. It’s a brand new scooter after I lost my old one from a waterfall back when we went camping.”

"I still can't believe what we learned in school was actually not true!" Sweetie said angrily.

"I can't believe I can't skateboard for a week!" Thunder said angrily.

"I can't believe it's not butter!" I said, eating a piece of toast with some of that butter product on it.

“Also no, my point is that all fun and no play makes Cheerilee a dull mare. You can’t work forever, otherwise you’re just going to end up doing something, please pardon my language, dumb.” Cheerilee explained.

“Well I’m glad you’re finally going to let lose once in a while, Cheer. It’s ok to be wild, just not too wild.” I said.

“That’s what she said.” Thunder teased.

Nurse Redheart comes inside the room holding a clipboard and says to us; "Pardon me? Each of you is going to be transferred to room 689."

"Oh finally! I hope it has a working TV!" Thunder said. Then the Nurse and her colleagues transfer our beds to the other room, but just when we left, Fluttershy comes in with that salad sundae.

"Flare, you here? I got that salad you asked for." she said. She looked around the room and saw we weren't here, then she got angry. "OH PHOENIX-FEATHERS!" she yelled, but softly, because she's Fluttershy.

Crystalized

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Hey you remember the episodes in MLP called Just for Sidekicks where Spike has to take care of the Mane Six’s pets as the Mane Six go to the Crystal Empire to welcome the Equestria Games inspector and in Games Ponies Play where it actually shows the Mane Six welcoming her? Well good, because I don’t, but this chapter is connected to them. So like Wedding Captures, I’m On A Float, and a couple of other chapters I made, I recommend you watch the episodes first if you haven’t already, which I strongly doubt, because you either watched all the episodes, or watched some beginning episodes and then never watched the show again, it’s rarely in the middle.

So… Twilight's House, Friday morning, Spike was getting the mail for Twilight and I was inside with Twilight, helping her clean up the place. My friend Crystal Iceblast was there too reading about the Crystal Empire. It's kinda ironic seeing Crystal reading about a place all about crystals. I bet she’s addicted to those crystals. So I just finished cleaning Twilight's bedsheets as Twilight was making a research paper for Celestia.

“Flare, thanks for coming over to help me with my chores.” Twilight said.

“Oh good because I didn’t volunteer; you just gave me a broom and asked me to start sweeping, and then do your laundry, and then give Owlowisious a bath…” I said as Owlowisious gets shown with his feathers all poofy much like Flufflepuff.

“I didn’t know feathers could do that.” Spike said.

“And you didn’t even give me a chance to say ‘no, I’m busy because I have to send in this bag of can tops to the schoolhouse’.” I said, showing Twilight my bag of soda can tops.

"Sorry, Flare, but I have to concentrate. I'm writing a research paper for Princess Celestia and Spike can't do all my chores himself, since he was helping AppleJack all of yesterday after she saved his life from Timberwolves." Twilight said.

“Yeah, and little did Spike know that he could just use his firebreath on them since they’re… you know… made of wood… Spike!” I reminded him as I turned my head towards him when I said his name and I glared at him.

“I can’t think straight when my life is at risk, you know.” Spike informed me.

“Well yeah think while your life is at risk because over the 50-50 chance you have, I’d rather take the survival 50.” I advised him.

“Hey I threw a rock in one’s mouth, that’s brave.” Spike said.

“Mmhm.” I nodded sarcastically. “Hey Twilight?”

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Did you pay attention about what I axed before?" I asked.

"Yes, Flare, I heard you. You were wondering why you were doing all my chores." she said, continuing to read some of her books for the research paper.

"Yeah she’s confused.” I said.

"Sorry, Flare, I'm not really paying attention. I got this paper I need to do." she said.

"Of course you're not paying attention, you're broke. Celestia pays all your taxes, and you have no job, and you're putting hard-labor on a baby dragon.” I reminded her.

"Well, it's what the princess planned out for me. She wouldn't be giving me all of this if she thought I couldn't handle it." Twilight said.

"Which princess?" I asked.

"Flare, you know the answer to that question." she said, sounding a bit annoyed, but was really concentrating on her work.

"Yeah, its Luna isn't it? Luna right?" I kept guessing. "Twilight is Luna? It's Luna right?"

"No, it's Celestia!" she said.

"Well why didn't you say so?" I asked. “Gotta answer my questions, sista. Don’t live me hanging.”

"Wow!" Crystal said as she was reading. "The Crystal Empire was under a dark curse and it disappeared for a thousand years?"

"That's what happened." Twilight said.

"But wait, Luna helped defeat the evil king? Luna was imprisoned for a thousand years, and she came back before the empire returned! The empire disappeared first, then Luna, then Luna came back before the empire did. How is that possible?" Crystal asked.

"She does have a point you know." Spike said, bringing the mail to Twilight.

"You know, I really don't know how to answer that." Twilight said.

"Did the statue that imprisoned Discord only last a thousand years?" Crystal asked.

"It's kinda weird seeing the Helmets of Armory only last a millennium." I said.

"They're called the Elements of Harmony, and....." Twilight stopped for a sec, and then groaned. "I got work to do!"

"Everypony's got work to do Twilight; everypony's got work to do." Crystal said as she continued reading.

"Anyways, I got the mail, Twilight." Spike said, giving her some letters.

"Most of them are probably bills." I said. "That's all I get all the time. It's been weeks since I received anything from home." Twilight opened the letters to take a look at them.

"Oh look! It's a letter from Princess Cadance!" Twilight said, opening it.

"You mean, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?" I asked in a fancy voice.

"She thinks being called that is unnecessary." Twilight said.

"Whatever, but I really can’t believe I got her name right. Usually it takes a while for me to remember big words.” I said.

“Same here.” Crystal said. “But it’s been a while since the wedding, right?”

“That is true. What Crystal said is true.” I nodded in agreement.

Twilight sighed, and began reading the letter: "Dear Twilight Sparkle, You and your friends are needed at the Crystal Empire this Saturday to welcome the Pony Games Inspector. It's imperative that the Crystal Empire gets chosen to host this year's Equestria Games. The Crystal ponies are way too busy to host the welcome, so you, Rarity, AppleJack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy are invited to come help out. The train tickets are already inside the envelope for Saturday morning's 10:00 train. Hope to see you then! Princess Cadance."

"Now for the time: Is it 10:00 AM or PM?" I asked.

"Oh we're going back to the Crystal Empire? COOL!" Spike yelled in excitement. “I hope they remembered my heroics!”

"Hope you all have fun!" I said.

"Ooooh, umm, the invite list doesn't include you Spike." Twilight said looking at the invite list. "It's only me and the girls."

Spike looked down, upset. "Oh... I see. Well... it's okay."

"NO IT'S NOT OKAY!" I yelled. "Spike saved the Crystal kingdom when that demon king came to enslave all! Spike saved the day and this is how Cadance repays him?!"

"Yeah, how is that?" Spike asked angrily.

"I don't know, Spike. I'm really sorry." Twilight said, feeling bad. Spike then sat down on the floor with his head on his knees. Twilight felt really bad, but knew how to make it up to him. She sat down with him, and gave him a hug. "Hey Spike, you remember that 4-layered gem cake you wanted to make so bad?"

"Yeah." Spike said, looking up at her.

"Well, when we're gone, I'll allow you to make it." she said, smiling at him.

"Well... okay, but I need ingredients." Spike said.

"I saved a whole bucket of gems just for you for this occasion! I have a cook book for you as well. You can get started right away!" Twilight said.

"REALLY?!" Spike cried in happiness. Twilight nodded.

"Really." she smiled.

"In that case, I'll get started right away!" Spike said happily as he ran into the kitchen, which I didn't know Twilight had, to get his ingredients.

"See, Flare? He should be fine while we're gone." Twilight said to me.

"Spike was still pretty upset that he wasn't invited. I seriously need to have a talk with Cadance." I said.

"Flare, its fine. This cake project should give him time until we come back." Twilight said.

"Well.... I'll think about it." I said.

"I better go tell the girls, I'll see you around, Flare!" Twilight said, trotting out of the library. Crystal kept reading the Crystal Eingdom book. The section she was in now was about a purple crystal pony. She saw her photo on the covers, and she had some beautiful sparkly dark blue head along with dark blue eyes and she had a theater comedy symbol as a cutie mark.

"Hey, Flare, check out this pony!" Crystal informed me.

"What pony? I don't see another pony here other than us." I said.

"No come here, this is really interesting!" Crystal instructed me. So I came over to check out what she was looking at.

Crystal started reading about the pony: "When King Sombra came in power to enslave all of the Crystal Empire, all the Crystal ponies lost their powers and had no love inside them. They were all miserable and have lost their crystallized coats; all except one. This crystal pony was so happy that she tried to make other crystal ponies happy as well, but was unsuccessful. When King Sombra found out that there was a crystal pony still happy, he came to her personally, in attempt to make her miserable. He tried to make her miserable, but was unsuccessful because her happiness was so strong that she couldn't get… Flare what does this word say?”

“Effected.” I said.

“…effected by the king's dark magic.” Crystal continued. “This proved as a… umm…”

“Distraction.” I said.

“…distraction, so Princesses Celestia and Luna used the Elements of Harmony to banish Sombra unguarded.” Crystal continued. “She was one of the victims for when the Empire disappeared, and her fate is unknown."

"Wow, the Pinkie Pie of the Crystal Empire!" I said.

"I know, it's so awesome!" Crystal said excitedly.

"What's her name?" I asked.

"Her name is Willow Iceblast!" Crystal said and then she smiled at me with a squee. I just looked at her, confused.

"She has the same last name as you." I pointed out.

"I know, but it could be just a coincidence. Alot of ponies have the same last name! Like Daring Do and Ditzy Do, but they're not related." Crystal said, but then she thought it over for a sec. "Are they?"

"I-D-K." I said.

"Hmm, wait a sec." Crystal said and thought it over.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Oh thanks for making me lose my train of thought, Flare! Choo choo!" Crystal complained and glared at me.

"Sorry." I said.

"Now I think I heard this name before." Crystal said as she looked back into the book. "I think I need to do a little research."

"What are you doing right now then? You don't call this research? Lion face." I teased.

"No, I call this reading because this is a pass time. Research is when I'm reading to find information. Right now I'm reading just for fun." she informed me.

"Well, I'm gonna think of a plot to destroy Cadance for not inviting Spike. I'll axe you what you find out later. T-T-Y-L!" I said as I trotted out of the library. Crystal just looked at the book and started top think. Well of course she's thinking, she's not brainless! I did say she has a few mental problems but that’s not much, so don’t go hating on her. You hate on her, you hate on me, and I know you don’t want that, because that’s bad luck.

"Hey Spike?" Crystal yelled from across the library.

"Yeah?" Spike yelled.

"Mind if I take this book with me?!" Crystal asked.

"You gotta ask Twilight!" Spike answered.

"Too much effort; I'm just taking it with me!" Crystal said as she takes book and trots out of the library. She heads back to her house to take out her family tree. Seriously she has a tree in her back yard with the names of her family on it. She takes a ladder and sets it down against the tree. Now, I don't know why she uses a ladder since she's a pegasus after all, she can just fly, but I wasn't there to say so..... I just said 'so' right now..... yeah the word 'so'..... no I don't sew. Crystal starts searching the tree for the name 'Willow Iceblast', but she had no luck in finding the name, so… I said ‘so’ again… she goes back inside the house to look for family portraits. She searches all over the house for it, but all she can find is a moldy donut under her couch, and yes she does eat it. Gross, huh? Don't say 'eww' to me, she was the one who ate it! She then gives her mom a call for info, but it took her a while to realize she never even knew her parents. I know it's pretty sad, isn't it? So she continued looking for her family portraits until she finds a book in her bathroom in the medicine cabinet. Why does she keep it in there? She takes the book and sits down on the couch. She opens the book, but the only pictures in the book were pictures of her in her younger years, and there was nopony else. There were many blank pages and blank spaces where there should be other pictures, but all there was there were pictures of her in her younger years, all the parties she went to, the games she played, when she was toilet trained, all the pranks she pulled, etc. She never realized what was supposed to be in those blank pages and frankly she doesn't care...... for now.

Crystal starts pacing across her living room many times, she plays Free Cell on her computer, she paces again, she reads, she paces again, then she plays Free Cell on her computer, she reads, she paces, she reads, and reads, and plays Free Cell, and paces, and paces some more- Okay I think I made my point. She then went to bed early that night but kept her eyes opened; she kept them opened for an hour as she just laid there. Her eyes opened in a flash a few moments after she closed, and then she said, "I'm going to the Crystal Empire tomorrow. Also, I need to remember not to eat moldy donuts under couches." Her face suddenly turns green and she runs into the bathroom.

Earlier that night though, I was in my trailer, writing down some blueprint plans. I said to my fish; "This is it, fishies! It's time to put my plans into action! I'm going to the Crystal Empire tomorrow with the others, and I'll teach Princess Cadance a lesson she'll never forget! Teach her not to invite Spike after she saves her precious kingdom!" I then laughed a bit, but the laugh seemed to be like three large pants.

"Go home, Flare. You're drunk." my fish Piddles said.

"Uhh, he's already home, Piddles." Rainbow corrected him.

"I know, but still, his plan is crazy! It won't work!" Piddles said.

"It's kind of a waste of time to take revenge on a princess for not inviting his dragon friend to go. Wouldn't you say?" Pearl asked.

"What? Oh I don't care about that. I mean his plans talk about a cookie in the middle of the street, and the princess coming to eat that cookie which is on the middle of the street, and then Flare places an anvil on a tree, and when the princess eats the cookie, the anvil falls on her. I mean that's crazy! Even Darrel can think of a better trap than that!" Piddles explained.

"Exactly!" Darrel said. "Instead of a cookie, it should be a hot fudge sundae! More ponies will come if it's a hot fudge sundae!"

"Mmmmm! Now I'm hungry!" Yoyo said, rubbing his belly.

"You're always hungry!" Dorthey said to him.

"I still think it's a waste of time for Flare to come up with an action like this." Pearl said.

"Oh he'll learn his lesson. He always does. The part of Equestria which makes this Equestria is ponies learning about friendship." Rainbow explained.

"That and showing myths that’s existing. Unicorns shouldn't exist, neither can pegasi, magic exists, dragons exist, and there are even sticks that glow! I mean, sticks can't glow, that's impossible! Who's ever heard of a glow stick?" Yoyo explained.

"I can't just standby and see Flare get himself arrested for trying to assault a princess. We need help." Pearl said. "Rainbow, call for Apollo." Rainbow whistled, and Blaze's phoenix Apollo showed up at the window.

"Hello, my aquatic friends." Apollo greeted the fish.

"YAY! APOLLO'S HERE!" Darrel cheered, and then jumped out of the tank to give him a kiss.

"Ew, that's gross. No offense, Darrel." Apollo said, wiping his cheek.

"None taken!" Darrel smiled with a squee.

"Apollo, we need some help." Pearl said.

"Of course, Pearl! How can I be at service?" Apollo asked. Spike bursts into my trailer eventually, and ran into my room.

"Hey, Flare!" he greeted me.

"WHOA!" I yelled, because he startled me. "Holy Wizard of Strength, brah! Have you ever heard of knocking three times and saying my name three times after those three knocks?”

Spike just stood there for a few moments, and then knocked on my door three times, but not the way Sheldon Cooper does it. Spike just pounded the door three times, and then Spike said, “Flare, Flare, Flare.” I just gave him a glare. “What? I did what you said.”

"You stink.” I said in an annoyed tone to him. “Anyways, what do you need buddy?”

"Oh I just wanna know if you need me to look after your fish?" he asked, tapping on my fish tank.

"HEY, IT'S THAT DRAGON!" Darrel cheered and started swimming to him.

"Does he have food?" Yoyo asked.

"I hope he made a hot fudge sundae trap!" Darrel said excitedly. Pearl facefined herself and sighed.

"Why?" I asked.

"I heard you're going to the Crystal Empire to avenge Princess Cadance, so I thought maybe I could look after your fish while you're gone!" Spike suggested.

"Thanks, Spike, but they can take care of themselves. Rainbow's guarding the tank, I can install the automatic fish feeder, and no I don't have any gems to give you, sorry." I said.

"Oh... I see." Spike said, feeling buzzed. "How about the phoenix?"

"Phoenix? What phoenix?" I asked as I then turned around and saw Apollo talking to my fish. I got startled because I didn't know he was there. "WHOA! Apollo, when did you get here? I just told Spike he had to knock, the same goes with you, brah!" Apollo just stared at me for a few moments, and then he knocked on the window. "That’s not the way I like it, but whatever.” I then turned to Spike and said to him, "Anyways, that's Blaze's phoenix. You're gonna have to axe him."

"Well, I'll be fine with five gems." he said, looking at the gems he has in the bucket.

"What happened to the gems Twilight gave you? Was that not enough?" I asked. Spike didn't say anything. “Well?” I asked again.

“I’ll be a better pet sitter than Pinkie as a foal sitter.” Spike said, trying to use a cutaway gag to change the subject. Well he started up one, might as well explain it.

The gag shows Pinkie feeding some apple sauce to the Cake babies. “Ok, Pound and Pumpkin, here comes the airplane!” Pinkie starts making motor sounds as she swings the spoon around and was about to insert the spoon into one of the baby’s mouths. Just then, Pinkie’s tail starts twitching and the motor sounds that Pinkie is doing sounds more realistic. The Cake babies then frightenedly pointed behind Pinkie where an airplane named the Aeroderp suddenly crashes through the ceiling. “What are you two so scared of? It’s just apple sauce.”

“I’m here for my muffins!” Derpy said excitedly as she exits the jet. The cutaway ends, but it wouldn’t have been necessary if Spike just answered my question, but I can’t right now because normally cutaway gags either change the scene or forces us to say something relevant to the story. The scene changes after this one.

Morning came, Crystal leaves her house, carrying her satchel, and the Crystal Empire book in her mouth. She tosses the book in her satchel, and takes a deep breath. "It's time to be reunited with my possible ancestor!" she said excitedly as she started trotting over to the train station, where I was too there buying a ticket for the ride. "Oh hey, Flare!"

"Sup sista?" I asked. "You going to the Crystal Empire too?"

"Yep! Are you going?" she asked.

“Uhh, duh! If I asked if you were going too, it obviously means I'm going." I corrected her.

"You could be going somewhere else, like Mareami.” Crystal reminded me.

“Nope, still not ready to return home yet,” I said, “but soon.”

“How soon?” Crystal asked.

“Soon enough for you to quit pestering me about it.” I said. “Anyways let’s get on the train.”

Once the two of us went inside one of the train cars, Blaze, Psyche, Engineer, and Aqua were inside. "Oh you guys going to the Crystal Empire too?" Crystal asked.

"Well since I heard ya were goin’, I wanted to try their spa out. I heard their spa is the best of the best. I’ll need that relaxation.” Aqua said.

"I heard they have the best science museum ever! I really wanted to check it out!" Psyche said excitedly.

"Princess Cadance gave me an invention to install some speakers into the stadium where the Equestria Games might take place." Engie said. "Since they disappeared for a thousand years they might not know the technology of today, and ah'm gonna fix that!"

"I wanna audition for the games!" Blaze said excitedly. "Also, Flare, we came to keep an eye on you."

"How can you take off your eye and put it on me?" I asked.

"Apollo told me what you were planning. Don't do anything stupid." Blaze warned me.

"Dare to be stupid, brah. Dare to be stupid. I don’t need to sing that whole song again.” I said. Eventually, the Mane Six went into the train, but they went in the car in front of ours and they didn't know we were there. The train started a couple minutes later, and we rode on to the Crystal Empire. On the way, I talked to my friends, and axed them a few silly questions. "Alright, so, who would you rather eat with? Justin Bieber's fans or Jabba the Hutt?"

"How about neither?" Aqua asked.

"Neither is not an option, neither is both." I corrected him.

"Neither doesn't mean both." Engie corrected him.

"Neither doesn't.... wait.... dang it Engie, you confused me! I forgot what I was saying!" I complained.

Engie chuckled. "That's just how ah roll, partner!"

"Hey Psyche, what made ya so interested in their science museum?" Aqua asked

"I read online about the secrets of a certain Crystal Empire artifact that can be used to read other pony's minds." Psyche explained.

"What makes ya so interested in readin’ pony's minds?" Aqua asked.

"I was psychic when I lived at Trottingham. I thought I could be the best psychic in Equestria, but... then I ended up banished from Trottingham." Psyche explained.

"That's pretty deep, partner." Engie said.

"You wanna know pretty deep? Try running away from home at the age of five after a whole school really wants you gone. Life wasn't easy when I lived alone for so many years with nothing but memories of my past." Blaze said, looking at a picture in his wallet that shows him and Rainbow Dash when they were fillies. "I'm still having nightmares about those times."

"Hey, it shows we all have somethin’ in common. My hometown was destroyed, and that's how Wind Racer and ah moved to Ponyville; Psyche was banished from his town; Blaze ran away from home at a young age; Flare ran away from home for the same reason; Engie was raised at a military school; and Crystal was raised at a foster home." Aqua explained. "So really, we all ran away from our homes. That's somethin’ we all have in common."

"Aqua, stop talkin’ like we’re a bunch of sappy wimps.” Engie advised him.

“You know, I never thought about all of us having something in common like that.” Blaze said.

"Yeah but most of us for different reasons." Psyche said. Meanwhile, Crystal was at the end of the train car, looking out the window, staring at the arctic weather going on outside.

"'Eh Crystal? What's wrong?" Aqua asked.

"N-nothing." Crystal said. "Just.... personal matters."

"Huh?" Aqua was confused.

“It’s her time of the month again.” Engie said.

“Oh shut up, Engie.” Crystal instructed him.

“See? Ah was right.” Engie said.

“What happened, Crystal?” Psyche asked.

“Oh hush, Psyche. Nopony cares what you think.” I said to him. I then turned to Crystal and said, “C’mon Crystal, tell us!”

“You know already, Flare.” Crystal reminded me.

“I know, but nopony else does.” I whispered to her.

"Anyways, we were at Twilight's library yesterday. Iwas reading about the Crystal Empire and I found out that I have a crystal pony ancestor." Crystal explained.

"Oh really? Well I guess it turns out you has family after all." Engie said.

"Aw c'mon, Engie! We are her family, and she knows it, don't you Crystal?" I asked her.

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure, whatever you say, Flare." Crystal said.

"I thought of Crystal to be a cheerful pony; this must be really serious." Psyche whispered.

"I can hear you, Psyche." Crystal said. "And I can be cheerful whenever I feel like it! So why don't you all get off my back?!" she yelled at us as she takes all her stuff and marches over to the caboose car.

"You mad sis?" I commented.

“Wow, I haven’t seen Crystal this upset since that English lecture.” Aqua said.

A cutaway shows the Noble Six sitting down at an English class where Cheerilee was giving a lecture. “Now remember class the IE rule. It’s always I before E, except after C.” Cheerilee explained.

After Crystal looked down at her laptop keyboard, she began to get angry. “MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE!” she cried. The cutaway ends.

Throughout most of the train ride, we keep hearing the Mane Six in the car in front of us with their welcoming song. "Just listen to them! They sound like a bunch of cheerleaders." Psyche said.

"It kinda gets annoyin’ after a while." Engie said.

“So…” Blaze started.

“So what?” Engie asked.

“So… what’s up, man?” Blaze asked.

“Tryin’ to start small talk, Blaze?” Engie asked.

“I don’t have any thing better to say. We see each other almost every day.” Blaze said.

“You and me or all of us?” Engie asked.

“All of you.” Blaze said.

“Well I have something to say.” Psyche said.

“Yeah nopony cares, Psyche.” I said to him.

“You’re taking me as the Meg Griffin of the group pretty seriously now, huh?” Psyche asked.

“Shut up, Psyche.” I said as I gave him a mischievous smile.

“So how’s Water doing?” Blaze asked. Nopony said a thing though. “Flare?”

“Oh you’re talking to me?” I asked.

“Yes I’m talking to you.” Blaze said.

“You didn’t say my name the first time so… yeah.” I said. Blaze gives me a funny look. “Water is fine, why do you ask?”

“Just wondering, man. I care for your family.” Blaze said.

“Trying to hit on my sister, brah?” I asked.

“What? NO!” Blaze said.

“Because not only are you married already, but if any of my friends are going to date my sister, it’s Aqua.” I said.

“Oh gee thanks.” Aqua said.

“I’m not hitting on your sister, bro.” Blaze corrected me.

“What is she not good enough for you, Blaze?” I asked.

“I’m not saying that!” Blaze corrected me.

“Because you’d be lucky to have a gal like her!” I yelled at him.

“I see.” Blaze said.

“Yeah.” I said upsettingly.

“Ah’ve hung with her alone before. Not really my type.” Engie said.

“You know who’s my type, somepony with huge amounts of enthusiasm!” Psyche said.

“Like me?” I asked.

“Nah, too much enthusiasm.” Psyche said.

“Crystal?” I asked.

“Maybe.” Psyche said.

“Pinkie?” Engie asked.

“Most definitely.” Psyche said.

“Psyche has a crush on Pinkie! Psyche has a crush on Pinkie!” Engie teased.

“She’s over in the next car if you wanna tell her, man.” Blaze advised him.

“N-no thank you.” Psyche blushed. The train finally stopped, and it sounded like in the next car, the Mane Six fell over or something. "Oh finally! I thought they'd never stop!" Psyche said feeling relieved.

"Teaches them to read the signs that say 'remain seated'." Aqua said. We all got up and exited the train car. Crystal ran out like a flash, knocking into Blaze in the process and he fell over.

"Clumsy much?" I teased Blaze.

"Shut up, man!" Blaze said angrily as Aqua helped him back up.

"She must be pretty excited. She really wants to meet her relative." Aqua said.

"Y’all think she's still alive after all these years?" Engie asked.

"Rainbow Dash told me that the Crystal ponies don't remember anything after the Empire returned. It was like they were in a time capsule for all these years." Blaze said.

Engie whistled. "These poniehs are old!"

"Excuse me, sonny? Who you callin’ old?" an old crystal pony asked and hit Engie in the head with a cane.

"OW!" Engie yelled. "WHY I OUTTA!" Engie wanted to attack her, but Blaze and Psyche held him back.

"Bring it on sonny boy!" the old crystal pony yelled.

"No, please, we’re sorry for everything, ma'am. I promise it won't happen again, just please move along." Aqua said, pushing her away gently.

"Don't touch me, sonny boy!" the old crystal pony demanded as she hit Aqua in the head with her cane.

"OW!" Aqua yelled as he rubbed his head. "What a rude mare.”

"Look, as much as I'd love to stay and help argue with old shinny mares, I must be on my way to check out that science museum." Psyche said, trotting off.

"The spa sounds pretty promisin’! I gotta go check it out!" Aqua said, trotting off as well.

"Well, those stereo systems won't install themselves." Engie followed. “Unless ah actually make them do that. Maybe ah should.”

"Don't do anything stupid, Flare." Blaze instructed me.

"Brah, relax! I know what I'm doing!" I promised him as I trotted off.

"I hope so, man. I hope so." Blaze said as he flew off. Crystal trotted off too, and took a look around the Crystal Empire.

"Wow, this place looks beautiful!" she said. "Where do I go to start?"

"I'm not sure, friend, but the games inspector is coming, and we must keep her happy." a purple crystal pony told her. "Are you happy, outsider?"

"HAY YEAH I'M A HAPPY OUTSIDER!" Crystal said to her, and gave her a hoof bump. "I'm just gonna look for my ancestor, Willow Iceblast."

"Oh, well I hope you have good luck finding her!" the pony said. "By the way, my name is Willow Iceblast!"

"Please to meet you, I'm Crystal Iceblast!" she greeted and shook her hoof.

"Wow! Funny, we have the same last name!" Willow said.

"Yeah we do, don't we?" Crystal asked. "Well, I better go look for Willow. Pleasure to meet you Willow!"

"Pleasure to meet you as well, Crystal!" Willow said. Then they both trotted away to opposite directions. Alright after that, I just have to say..... WOW! Just WOW! Crystal didn't even recognize her and Willow acted the same way. I guess that proves they are related, or maybe Crystal is looking for a different Willow, I have no clue. I remember when I used to get yellow smiley stickers at Walmart. It's too bad they don't have those anymore, I miss getting those. Oh wait, I was just talking about Willow and then I ended up talking about Walmart. Another WOW! Anyways, the Crystal Empire was absolutely beautiful! I can't believe I never been here before! I thought the Crystal ponies were a myth at first. What puzzles me is all crystal ponies are earth ponies. Where are the crystal pegasi or the crystal unicorns? Crystal was wondering that too, she asked herself those things as she was walking across town to look for her relative, which she already found at the train station. So Crystal started looking all around for her.

"WILLOW?! WILLOW ICEBLAST?! MY NAME IS CRYSTAL ICEBLAST! I'M YOUR DESCENDENT AND I WANT TO MEET YOU!" Crystal yelled out in the streets. "WILLOW?! WILLOW ARE YOU?!" Crystal then yells at Ms. Harshwinny’s (the pony games inspector's ear). "WILLOW?! WHERE ARE YOU WILLOW!? WHERE IS MY WILLOW?! WILLOW ICEBLAST?!"

"PLEASE STOP YELLING IN MY EARS!" Ms. Harshwinny yelled at her. “It’s bad enough that I had such a rough time getting a decent welcome around here!”

"Well sorry, ma'am. I'm looking for my relative. Her name is Willow Iceblast." Crystal explained.

"You don't say?" Harshwinny asked sarcastically, trying to pull her suitcase.

"You're not from around here, are you?" Crystal asked her.

"What makes you think that?" Harshwinny asked as she rolled her eyes.

"Just a hunch, I suppose. I don't really have a reason. Do you have a reason?" Crystal asked.

"Probably because, uh, I'm not a crystal pony? Ever thought of that?" Harshwinny asked rudely.

"Oh right, that too." Crystal said. "What's in that bag of yours? A bowling ball? It seems you're having trouble carrying that."

"It's just extra clothes and paperwork." Harswhinny said.

"Paperwork, huh? You on a business trip?" Crystal asked.

"I suppose you can say that." Harshwinny said.

"Oh cool! I love business trips! You must be one of those international fire fighters!" Crystal said.

"Uh, fire fighter?" Harshwinny asked.

"Yeah, check out those clothes! You're totally a fire fighter!" Crystal said.

"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever." Harshwinny said, still dragging her bag down the street.

"So you gonna go check into a hotel?" Crystal asked.

"I'll check into a hotel after I go visit the princess." Harshwinny said.

"Pardon me, Miss, but the princesses are in Canterlot." Crystal said.

"No, I'm talking about Princess Cadance." Harshwinny said.

"OOOOOH! I didn't know Cadance lived here, I thought she lived in Canterlot?" Crystal asked.

"Well it turns out you thought wrong." Harshwinny said.

"So Miss Fire fighter?" Crystal tried getting her attention.

"Please, I'm really busy right now." Harshwinny complained.

"Busy what? Walking?" Crystal asked.

"I need to go to the palace and to talk to the princess after the Equestria Games." Ms. Harshwinny explained.

"Oh you competing?" Crystal asked.

"No, I'm the inspector." Harshwinny said.

"Really? You don't look like an inspector." Crystal said.

"Oh as if you know what an inspector looks like." Harshwinny said to her rudely.

"I do so know what an inspector looks like! I met Health Inspector Jones when he visited Flare's shop." Crystal said.

"I'm not a health inspector, I'm a games inspector! So if you please so kind! I have to be at the palace right now!" Harshwinny raised her voice at Crystal.

"Then why are you standing here next to me?" Crystal asked. Harshwinny started steaming and got glared at Crystal. "Wow, what do they call you? Miss Harsh Whinny?"

"Miss Harshwinny actually." Harshwinny said.

"Harshwinny? Well I can say you are the winner of harshness." Crystal teased her and laughed. Harshwinny started steaming again as she took her bag, and walked away from her. As Crystal stopped laughing, Ms. Harshwinny was already gone. "Harsh Whinny? Where did you go Harsh Whinny? Oh well, I wouldn't be surprised is she was an ancestor to Psyche." she said and laughed. "That would be so ironic!"

Meanwhile, I was near the Crystal palace, I set a cookie down on the sidewalk, then I pulled the rope that's carrying an anvil, and I hung it on the tree. I chuckled behind the tree, waiting for Cadance to show up, but then I spotted the cookie on the ground, and I said; "Ooo a cookie!" I ran towards the cookie and tried to pick it up, but the anvil fell on my head and I passed out.

Over at the stadium, Blaze was talking to Shining Armor about auditioning in the Equestria Games. "So, Shining, you think I can sign up for the Equestria Games?" Blaze asked.

"Sure, Blaze, sure! Any friend of Twilight's is a friend of mine!" Shining said. "But, we're already planning the Wonderbolts to fly across the stadium before the event when we sing the Equestria National Anthem; are you sure you won't be with them?"

"I might, but I wanna see if I can get myself into the games itself." Blaze said.

"Well we'll see, Blaze, but I think you’ll have to wait until the auditioning at Rainbow Falls in a few months to do something.” Shining said.

"I'll be willing to take a chance to tie my wings during the event. My wife Rainbow Dash did it during the Running of the Leaves event back in Ponyville. I think I can handle it too." Blaze said.

"Great!" Shining said, and then he turned to Enige and yelled from across the stadium. "HEY, ENGINEER! HOW ARE THOSE SPEAKERS COMING ALONG?!"

"They're goin great, partner! Ah'm on mah last one!" Engie yelled, installing the last speaker near one of the doors, but then Crystal charged right inside, and knocked over the ladder Engie was on. The ladder lost it’s balance and Engie was holding one of the speakers. He fell down with the ladder, and since all the speakers were connected by a wire they all fell down and broke. "AW SHOOT, CRYSTAL! NOW AH HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN!"

"Crystal, what's going on?" Blaze asked.

"I'm looking for my relative still. A crystal pony said some are practicing for the Equestria Games, so I figured she might be here." Crystal said.

"What's wrong?" Shining asked.

"Crystal is looking for her ancestor who is a crystal pony." Blaze told him.

"Her name is Willow Iceblast. I had the feeling she might be here." Crystal told him.

"Well I'm sorry, Crystal, but there's no ponies here by the name of Willow Iceblast, but there is a pony by the name of Oak Freeze if you're looking for a pony similar." Shining said.

"I'm not playing games, Shining! I have a long-lost relative, and I want to do all I can to meet her!" Crystal yelled.

"Well... I don't normally hang around the kingdom that much; I'm still the captain of the royal guard in Canterlot. I'm just here because Cadance wants me to coach some of the contestants for the games." Shining explained. "But my wife should know she's over at the spa right now getting her mane done. Why don't you go ask her?"

"Awesome! Thanks, Shining!" Crystal said.

"Your welcome, Crystal!" Shining said.

"Ah good, this speaker is still workin!" Engie said, putting one of the speakers back up, but then Crystal knocks into Engie's ladder again as she runs out, and he falls over with the speaker and it breaks. "AW, DARN IT, CRYSTAL!"

“You have a lot of crazy ponies down there in Ponyville, Blaze.” Shining said to him.

“I know but it’s even crazier up in Cloudsdale.” Blaze said. “My wife really wanted Cloudsdale to be the location for the Equestria Games, but the Cloudsdale wasn’t accepted.”

“Why though?” Shining asked.

A cutaway shows Ms. Harshwinny just arriving at Cloudsdale via helicopter. Once the helicopter lands, the Cloudsdale mayor welcomes here to town. “Ms. Harshwinny! Welcome to Cloudsdale! We have a special welcoming just for you which includes a lot of chewing gum because pony’s ears pop every time they visit here because of the altitude.” The mayor said.

“Why thank you. That sounds very divine.” Harshwinny said as she steps out of the helicopter, but once she steps out, she starts falling right through the clouds and plummets to her….. injuries. Ever since then, Cloudsdale was never nominated to be the location of the Equestria Games ever again. The cutaway ends there.

Back to me, I was wearing a bandage on my head. I set up another trap back at the same tree I was at before. It was similar to the first trap, except I had an apple pie, and I didn't have an anvil, I had a huge rock. I set the apple pie down, and I pulled the rope leading the rock up onto the tree. Soarin the Wonderbolt was there on the scene and he spotted the pie at the same time I did. "Ooo, an apple pie!" we both said at the same time, and we both ran towards the pie as the rock fell on both of us, and we both passed out.

Over at the spa, Rarity was dressing up Cadance's hair for the games inspector, and Aqua was laying down on one of the spa tables getting a massage as he had some of that spa mud stuff on his face with cucumbers. "Are we almost done, Rarity? Twilight and the others can't hold the games inspector for much longer." Cadance said.

"Relax, dear! I'm almost done. Just give me 10 minutes." Rarity said.

"That's what you said 10 minutes ago." Cadance complained. Crystal opened the door and charged inside the spa.

"WILLOW ARE YOU HERE?!" Crystal yelled as a bucket of water fell on her head. "AAH! WHAT THE HAY!"

"Crystal?" Aqua said.

"Crystal? Aqua? When did you two get here?" Rarity asked.

"What happened? Crystal and Aqua are here?" Cadance asked.

"Ya just noticed?" Aqua asked.

"A BUCKET OF WATER FELL ON MY HEAD!" Crystal yelled.

"Yeah I don't know how that happened." Aqua said.

"Princess Cadance? I was wondering, do you know what came first? The chicken or the egg?" Crystal asked.

"I'm sorry, dear? I'm not sure what you're saying." Cadance said.

"Please, Crystal, Cadance needs her hair-dress done for the Games Inspector." Rarity said.

"I can see that, but I need her to answer that question, also the question about is she knows of a pony named Willow Iceblast?" Crystal explained.

"Actually yeah, I know of a pony by that name. She was the only one who was immune to King Sombra's magic." Cadance said.

"I know that! I think that pony is actually my ancestor, so I want to know where she can be." Crystal explained.

"Of course, Crystal! She runs an ice cream stand. She travels around town trying to sell as much ice cream as she can." Cadance explained.

"Oh no! She can be anywhere! I'll never find her!" Crystal complained.

"Today is Saturday, right? What time is it, Rarity?" Cadance asked.

Rarity looks at the clock; "It's 2:30."

"Ah good! From 3 to 5 she stops and sells ice cream at the science museum every Saturday. By the time you're there, Willow should be there."

"Ah, thank you, Cadance!" Crystal said. "Nice make-up, Aqua!" She tells him and runs out.

"What make-up? This is one of those spa masks.” Aqua corrected her.

"Hey Aqua? Are Flare, Blaze, Psyche, and Engineer here as well?" Cadance asked.

"Yes. Blaze and Engie are at the stadium, Psyche's at the science museum, and Flare is probably setting up traps around town." Aqua said.

"Why is Flare setting up traps?" Rarity asked.

"He's mad because ya didn't invite Spike to help with the Games Inspector greetin’." Aqua said.

Cadance starts laughing. "Really? Wow! Flare cracks me up sometimes!"

"Hold still, dear! Your laughing is ruining my concentration!" Rarity complained as Rainbow Dash suddenly crashes into the spa window and started sliding down the window. Rarity heard the noise, but she didn't care, and just continued with Cadance's mane. “By the way, dear, Fluttershy’s cutie mark changed into Twilight’s after the train stopped before we got here. You have any idea how that happened?” Rarity asked Cadance.

Meanwhile, back at my trap spot, I put a helmet over my bandaged head before I set up my next trap. "Safety first!" I said as I then placed a garlic roll on the sidewalk and I pulled on a rope behind the tree, and this time I used a giant bell. I hung it on the tree and waited for Cadance. I heard footsteps coming from where the garlic roll is, so then I dropped the bell on whoever was walking and it made a big ding as it fell. "YES! I got her! See Cadance? This is what you get for not inviting your empire’s greatest hero!” I said as I lifted the bell back up and I saw it was Ms. Harshwinny under the bell. Her body was shaking and she held her ears.

"AAAH! MY EARS ARE POPPING!" she yelled.

"Umm…” I said in a very nervous tone. I just dropped the bell back on her and ran away, but I came back shortly after, lifted the bell, and took the garlic roll. "MINE!" I yelled at her face and I dropped the bell back on her and ran away. I then ran back, lifted the bell, and shoved the garlic roll in her mouth, and dropped the bell back on her, and ran away again. As the bell dropped back onto the ground, a small crack appears on the side of it.

“What have I done in the past life to deserve this?” Harshwinny complained to herself as her voice echoed inside the bell.

Meanwhile with Psyche was at the museum, he was checking out all the Crystal Empire artifacts. "Wow!" he said. "Who knew these crystals can store enough power to power the Empire Stable Building in Manehatten for 2 weeks? That is really interesting! Why don't we power our homes using these?"

“Because the government doesn’t like that.” a random crystal pony said.

“Good point.” Psyche agreed

Meanwhile, Crystal charged inside the museum. "Psyche!" she yelled as another bucket of water falls off the door and onto her head. "AAAH, WHAT THE HAY?!"

"Huh? Oh hey Crystal! Did you have any luck finding your relative?" Psyche asked.

"Not yet, but I heard she runs an ice cream stand around here." Crystal said.

"Uhh, please excuse me asking, but why are you all wet?" Psyche asked.

"Oh another bucket of water fell on my head. That's twice today that happened!" Crystal said.

"Oh yeah, when I went to get some coffee, a bucket of water fell on me too. I really spazzed out after that." Psyche said.

"Yeah, yeah, nopony's interested, Psyche." Crystal said to Psyche, looking annoyed. Psyche sighed and rolled his eyes. "Have you seen a purple crystal pony with an ice cream cart?"

"Y-yeah, she's in the Crystal Empire History section." Psyche said, pointing north.

"Thanks, Psyche!" Crystal said, running towards the history section.

"Why does everypony talk to me like I'm Meg Griffin?" Psyche asked himself. “Shall I place a pink hat on my head or something? Is that what everypony wants?! HUH?!”

“I need an adult.” A random crystal kid said in freight.

“What a coincidence. My friend’s sister says that all the time.” Psyche said.

Crystal ran into the history room and found the ice cream stand and she found Willow near it. "Huh? Oh hey Willow!" Crystal greeted her.

"Oh hey! You're that pony from the train station! Crystal, right?" Willow asked.

"Yeah!" Crystal nodded.

"Did you find your relative yet?" Willow asked.

"Cadance says she’s supposed to be here with an ice cream cart." Crystal said.

"Oh I'm running this ice cream cart!" Willow said excitedly.

"Really? Wow, I still can't seem to find Willow anywhere!" Crystal said.

"Wow, bad luck today, huh Crystal?" Willow asked.

"Don't get me started! I was running across town trying to find Willow, and two buckets of water fell on my head today!" Crystal complained.

"Come to think of it, when I was serving ice cream at the library, a bucket of water fell on my head there too, and another when I went to the public restroom!" Willow complained.

"No way!" Crystal said in shock.

"Yeah way!" Willow said.

"Wow!" Crystal said in shock.

"I know right?" Willow said. They were both silent for a few moments, but then they both started laughing.

"So you're my long-lost relative, huh?" Crystal asked.

"I would assume so. I missed out on so much on my life. By the looks of our family tree, I would assume I'm your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother!" Willow said.

"Wow! Does that mean I'm... part Crystal pony?" Crystal asked.

"There's only one way to find out. If the Crystal Empire is chosen to be the one to host the Equestria Games and we all power the Crystal heart with our happiness, that's how we'll know if you're part crystal pony!" Willow said.

"Alright, sounds cool! It's good to finally meet you, great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandma!" Crystal said, hugging her.

"You missed a great." Willow informed her, hugging her back. They both laughed. "It's good to meet you too, Crystal! Anyways, it’s might be a while until we get the news on how things went with the Equestria Games lady, what do you wanna do?”

“Let’s talk.” Crystal said. “Tell me about yourself.”

“Well as you can see, I’m running an ice cream stand.” Willow said.

“Do you have rocky road? I love rocky road! So weren’t you gonna buy a half a gallon, baby.” Crystal said.

“I do have that! Want some?” Willow asked.

“Oh I can’t, I don’t want to spoil my dinner.” Crystal said.

“But isn’t it just a quarter to 3?” Willow asked.

“I suppose, but still, I’m keeping an eye on my calories.” Crystal said. After that, Crystal and Willow just stood there in silence, looking at eachother and then looking around. I guess they didn’t have much to talk about anymore so I’ll leave it there.

As time went by, Cadance was about to announce which location is gonna host the Equestria Games. "And the winner for the Equestris Games is: The Crystal Empire!" Cadance announced in front of the whole kingdom. "Well done everypony!" Then all the crystal ponies powered the heart, including Crystal Iceblast, and aurora borealis colors started spreading across the sky, like from when Sombra was defeated. "WHOA!" Crystal yelled in excitement. "I guess that means.... I guess that means.... I'm a mare!"

"Not just that! This proves you are part crystal pony! Your happiness just powered the crystal heart!" Willow said.

"Whoa! I'm part crystal pony!" Crystal cheered. "Look how shinny and crystaly I am!"

"It looks like your friends are crystally too!" Willow said, pointing to Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rarity, AppleJack, Blaze, Psyche, Aqua, and Engie with their coats and manes sparkling and reflecting across the walls of the empire. Rarity starts squeeing really loud. "I'm so gorgeous... again!" Rarity yelled in excitement.

"Pretty, pretty, shinny, shinny!" Pinkie said excitedly.

"Wow, look at me, Rainbow!" Blaze said.

"Are you kidding? You're not as nearly shinny as I am!" Rainbow said.

"Oh yeah?" Blaze asked, smirking at her.

"YEAH!" Rainbow said smirking back.

“Is this the part where we start laughing at eachother?” Blaze asked, still smirking at her.

“Eh… 15 more seconds.” Rainbow said, smirking back.

"Hey, where's Flare?" Aqua asked. Cadance was waving at everypony down at the streets, and then a giant net dropped down on her. Cadance gasped out of shock.

"CADANCE!" Shining yelled, trying to help her out of the net.

"What just happened?" Cadance asked.

"Where did that net come from?" Shining asked. I started charging at Cadance, and I yelled; "LEROOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!" and then I tackled her, and she fell.

"FLARE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Cadance yelled.

"Flare, get off her!" Shining ordered me, pulling me off her. "What's wrong with you, man? Why did you attack her?"

“She invited Twilight and all of the- ooo, look at my coat! Look how sparkly I am!” I said as I observed my crystallized coat.

“It’s a side-effect of the crystal heart. It’ll wear off by the time we leave.” AppleJack informed me.

“Nyeh!” Rarity whined.

“So what was all that about, Flare?” Cadance asked.

“You invited Twilight and the girls over to welcome the Games Inspector, but YOU didn't invite Spike! After all Spike did for this kingdom! He saved your flanks! How can you not invite him to the welcoming?" I asked Cadance.

Cadance just laughed. "Oh, Flare! You rub me the wrong way!"

"I'm not even rubbing you.” I corrected her.

"Flare, this is nothing. It's just a welcoming thing! Spike would have no interest in doing something like what Twilight and her friends did." Cadance explained.

"But he might wanna visit! Ever thought of that? Do you not like Spike?" I asked.

"Of course I do, he's just the cutest little dragon ever! I would've thought he would have better things to do then come and welcome a Games Inspector!" Cadance said.

"Hmm... I guess that's true." I said. “But how about a little respect, huh? Where’s a statue of a hero when you need one?”

“You think Spike should have a statue? It shall be done.” Cadance accepted.

“Really? Wow that was easy.” I said.

"Don't worry, Flare! I promise, when the actual pony games comes on, I'll invite him to come." Cadance promised.

"Pinkie promise?" I asked.

Cadance just tilted her head in confusion. "What?"

"It's something to do with Pinkie Pie." Shining said.

"Ah, I see!" Cadance nodded.

"I apologize, Cadance. I guess I should've just talked this over with you, before I assaulted you. You're not gonna punish me right?" I asked.

Cadance chuckled. "Of course I am!" Then next thing I knew, I was writing down on a piece of paper; "I will talk my problems, not assault." 50 times.

"I'm so glad you finally reunited with your ancestor, Crystal!" Blaze said.

"Yeah, but I still don't understand where the buckets of water came from." Crystal said.

"Lion face." I said. Then they all looked at me. "What?"

"Well I suppose that answers our question." Psyche said.

"Well, at least look at us! We're all sparkly, and shinny, and we look expensive!" I said, checking out my crystal form.

"Oh no, our crystal forms won't last when we leave the city." Willow informed us.

"Go back to your writing, Flare." Cadance ordered me.

"Go back to your writing, Flare.” I teased her. “Don’t think this is over Cadance! I’m still mad at you!”

"That is another 50 times!" Cadance said, smirking at me. Then they all laughed.

"You're joking right?" I asked.

"Of course I'm joking, Flare!" Cadance said.

"Oh good, I'm just axing." I said.

"I know." Cadance said.

"Wow, nopony even noticed I kept saying 'axe' instead of 'ask', does anypony realize it?" I asked.

"I knew it from the start, Flare!" Twilight said. "I just wasn't gonna say anything!"

"You troll!" I said to her, and we all laughed again. So that was my first visit to the Crystal Empire. We all went home shorty after, and our crystal forms didn't last, but it was fun regardless! I just hope Spike didn't waste all those gems he earned back at home. Also why was our point of view of the Mane Six waiting in line for the train different from Spike’s point of view? I didn’t really get that one bit. I hope to see Willow Iceblast again sometime in the future, and we will, but how about a little goodbye with her before we conclude the chapter?

The Noble Six and Willow all went to the trainstation, but this was before the Mane Six came so we had time on our hooves. “Well, Willow, it was great meeting you!” Crystal said.

“It certainly was, Crystal! I guess that’s how you got your name. You were named after this particular empire.” Willow said.

“I was?” Crystal asked.

“I have no idea. I was away for a thousand years so you think I know what happened to your close reletives?” Willow asked.

“You think you can help me out, Willow? You think you can help me find out who my reletives are? I never seemed to meet them. I barely know who I am.” Crystal said.

“You’re Crystal Iceblast, and you’re a very fascinating pony. That’s all you need to know.” Willow said as she smiled at her.

“Awww, I’d really blush if I knew what that word meant.” Crystal said.

“Fascinating?” Willow asked.

“No, ‘very’.” Crystal corrected her.

“I know we haven’t gotten to know each other that much but you’re always welcome here.” Willow said.

“I know… it’s a public city.” Crystal reminded her.

“Oh get outta you stranger!” Willow teased her as her and Crystal gave each other a hug.

“Ya know, for a distant relative, she looks pretty young.” Engie said.

“Strange things happen in Equestria. You’ll never know what you’d find out there. You may have a distant relative that you never knew you had. Hey, maybe not even your family knows about.” Crystal said.

“I hope I have a relative that owns a chocolate factory. That way I can get my chocolate mints for free at my shop.” I said.

“Flare, I hope you learned your lesson.” Blaze said to me.

“I wrote the same sentence 50 times. I’d have to be Bart Simpson if I don’t learn my lesson.” I said. “But then again, like the Mane Six, we all seem to forget our lessons shortly after and may have to repeat our morals later on. Anyways, let’s get on the train and watch as scenes from different episodes compare each other.”

“Good idea.” Crystal agreed. And so we all went on the train and did so.

Game Night

View Online

Ahhh, Game Night! So many games, yet so little time! I'm hosting Game Night at my trailer tonight, with board games, video games, bottled games, imagination games, sports games, relationship games, dare games, dare-DEVIL games, games with games in them, and even games that are too manly for Psyche! I invited my friends Crystal, Blaze, Engineer, Psyche, Aqua, and Spike over for Game Night. I got my place ready for the occasion! Blaze knocked on my door, along with my friends beside him.

"Ahhh, Game Night! So many games, yet so little time!" Crystal mimicked me, because I just said that in the beginning.

"Ah got mah trusteh controller that can be connected to any game console, and any vending machine or microwave." Engie said, holding his controller up. "Ah made this myself!"

"And of course, all of Engie's inventions are bound to go wrong sometime." Spike teased. Everypony laughed.

"Shut it, Spike!" Engie said, slapping in the back of the head.

"OW!" Spike yelled. "What does everypony keep slapping there?"

"That's what she said!" Blaze commented.

"INAPPROPRIATE, Blaze!" Psyche said in shock.

"No, I'm saying that's what Crystal said just five minutes ago." Blaze said. My Jabba's palace eyeball pops out near the front door.

"BOOOO! I'm a giant eyeball! Fear me!" I teased them in a spooky tone. Crystal screamed.

"Flare, please let us in?” Blaze asked.

"If proceeding inside is what you seek, you must answer me these questions three, and the other side ye see!" I said in a spooky tone.

"Flare, we don't have time for this!" Blaze complained.

"What is your name?" I asked in the same tone.

Blaze just sighed. "Blaze Goldheart.”

"What is your quest?" I asked.

"Going inside your trailer." he said.

"What is your favorite color?" I asked.

"Blue." he said.

"Alright, off you go!" I said, opening the door.

"Thanks?" he said confusingly. Once he got in, I shut the door before Psyche was able to get in.

"STOP! Those who wish to proceed must answer me these questions three, and the other side ye see!" I said.

"Fine, ask away." Psyche said happily. "This may seem fun!"

"What is your name?" I asked him.

"Psyche Illusion." he said.

"What is your quest?" I asked.

"To go inside your trailer." he said rolling his eyes.

"What... is the capital of Tootsinberg?" I asked.

Psyche was confused and nervous. "I... I don't know that." Then a trap door opened below Psyche, but since this is a cartoon, he was standing in mid-air, then he looked down, held up a sign that said 'help', and then his body fell, but his head and the sign stayed floating, and then his head and the sign fell like the coyote from Looney Tunes when he falls off a cliff. Engie stepped forward to the door.

"What is your name?" I asked.

"Red Engineer." he said.

"What is your quest?" I asked.

"To go inside that trailer and kick your flank at video games!" he said mischievously.

"What is your favoirte color?" I asked.

"Blue." he said, but then he got nervous. "No, oraaaaaaaaaannngggeeee!" he said as he fell beneath the trap door, and then Crystal stepped forward.

"What is your na..." I was about to say, but then Crystal pokes my eyeball camera and it really felt like she poked MY eye. "OW! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot!” Crystal said.

“Ok.” I said as I opened the door for her and the others. "Ow! Did you have to be such a plot about it?" Crystal, Aqua, and Spike all walked inside and stepped into the hallway.

"How did that hurt him? That was just a camera, not his eyeball." Aqua asked.

"It's Flare, what can you expect?" Blaze asked him.

"I can expect him to shove garlic rolls in our mouths." Crystal said.

"Welcome!" I said, opening the door to my lounge. "Welcome to Flare's Game Night! I am your host, Steve Harvey!"

"You can't be Steve Harvey, you're not bald, and you don't host Family Feud." Crystal corrected me.

“I used to.” I mumbled upsettingly. Just then, a door opened on the floor, and Engie and Psyche came up.

"When did y’all get a basement, Flare?" Engie asked.

"And when did you get all those barrels full of cream soda?" Psyche asked.

"I like cream soda. That is my soda cellar." I said as I helped them up.

"You live in a trailer and move it from place to place. How can you have a cellar in general?" Psyche asked.

"Because I can't have a cellar in corporal, or sergeant, or even lieutenant.” I said.

"Look, it's no use arguin’, let's just get started with Game Night." Aqua suggested.

"You, me, Fallout: New Vegas, now!" Spike ordered me.

"Nope, I hate Fallout.” I said.

“C’mon please?” Spike begged.

“Ok fine, but I’m gonna use cheats.” I said.

“You have that game on the XBUCKS. You can’t use cheats on there.” Spike reminded me.

“Oh I’ll find a way.” I said.

"Ah gotta really try out this new controller, Flare!" Engie said excitedly.

"Hang on, brah I just wanna get through this part with Spike." I said.

"Look out for that mutant!" Spike yelled.

"Wait, what mutant?" I asked.

"Ah, no, I got it! Saved your life!" Spike smirked.

"Nooooo! I don't want to owe you!" I whined. “Wait how did we start playing Fallout right away? Weren’t we just standing over there? Also the XBUCKS takes a long time to start up. This is illogical.”

"Too bad." he said mischievously.

"Time for me to save your life. I'm gonna lure another mutant over to you, then save you." I said.

"No, that doesn't count." he said.

"Does not!" I argued with him.

"Does too!" he yelled in my face. “Wait… we did it backwards.”

“Yeah let’s start over.” I said.

“Does not!” he yelled at me.

“Don’t be so childish, Spike.” I advised him.

Meanwhile, Aqua went into my bedroom to find the board games. My fish then spotted him. "THIEF! THIEF!" Piddles yelled.

"That's no thief! That's Aqua!" Darrel said happily.

"I suppose he's here for game night." Rainbow assumed.

"What makes you think that?" Dorthey asked.

"It says on the calendar." Rainbow said, pointing to the calendar on the board near my dresser. Aqua kept looking around for my board games as Blaze waited over at the door for it.

"Did you find a game yet, Aqua?" Blaze asked.

"Well... how about Monopoly?" Aqua asked.

"Monopoly? Oh yeah right. All we do is go through the spots a million times until somepony loses all their money. It's gonna take forever to complete!" Blaze said.

"Life?" Aqua asked.

"Stop, get a job! Stop, get married! Life card, life card, life card! Useless game." Blaze complained. "Anything else?"

"Shoots and ladders?" Aqua asked.

"And that's all it is. Where's the fun in that?" Blaze asked.

"Now that, I agree with!" Dorthey said.

"Chess?" Aqua asked.

"Chess is for nerds!" I yelled out from the other room.

"Candy land?" Aqua asked.

"That will go in maybe." Blaze said. Just then, Aqua found a little note under Scrabble.

"Hey what's this?" Aqua asked as he looked at the note.

"What is it?" Blaze asked.

"Uhh, I just asked that." Aqua reminded Blaze. "Looks like some sort of... riddle game."

"Scrub scrub spree, scrub scrub a-roo?" Blaze asked, reading the note. "That's what it says first."

“What could it mean?” Aqua asked. Meanwhile I was still playing Fartout... uhh, I mean Fallout in the other room with Spike, and just then Aqua and Blaze came in with the riddle. "Hey Flare? What's this?" Aqua asked.

"Not now, Aqua, Spike's under attack by one of these lizard things." I said. "I keep telling ya to avoid them, brah, they're a waste of your time!"

"But they might drop something expensive." Spike said.

"Your inventory is already almost full!" I reminded him.

"I dunno why they added the limited inventory system in here. It's such a pain in the flank to use!" Spike complained.

"Move it, little man." Engie said, pushing Spike over and sitting next to me. "It's mah turn!"

"You could've just asked you know." Spike complained as he sighed and leaned his head on his hand which was on his arm which was leaning on his leg which was on top of the floor.

"Yeah Engie, you could've asked him you know." I advised him.

"Yeah Flare, ah could've asked him you know." Engie mimicked sarcastically.

"I just have one thing to say that." I said.

"And what is that?" Engie asked.

"HAY... BACON.... STRIPS!" I said as I poked his nose during every word.

Engie just looked at me confusingly. "Alrighty then."

"Flare, what is this?" Aqua asked again.

"What is what?" I asked as I was concentrated on my game.

"This." Aqua said, putting the game card in front of my face.

"Hey, don't my view while I'm playing a game, brah!" I complained at him.

"Alright, alright. Sorry!" Aqua said, moving the card away from my face.

"It's a riddle game. It gives you riddles." I said.

"You don't say!" Blaze said sarcastically.

"It would've been funnier if you that said with the meme mask on, Blaze. I keep my meme masks right over there." I said, pointing to one of the cabinets. "Anyways, you have to follow the riddles, and each riddle will take you to another riddle. Once you solved all the riddles, there's prize in end. It's really fun, I wanted to play that in a couple of hours, but you can play it now if you want."

"Hmm, riddle games do sound like fun." Aqua said.

"YEAH THEY ARE!" Crystal yelled in excitement.

"I feel like playing this!" Psyche said excitedly.

"So do I!" Spike said.

"Not me; ah wanna try out mah new controller!" Engie said excitedly.

"I second that!" I said.

"It's a good thing ah made two!" Engie said, giving me a spare one.

"PRAISE THE FLIPPIN WIZARDS!" I yelled, grabbing it with my unicorn magic.

"Are you sure you two don't wanna play?" Blaze asked.

"I made the game, I already know where everything is and what the prize is, silly little Pooh Bear!" I teased.

"And riddle games make mah head explode unless it has to do with machinery." Engie said.

"Suit yourselves." Blaze said.

"My suit is at the dry cleaners." I said.

"So let's find the first riddle!" Crystal yelled in excitement, hopping in place.

"Alright! So the first riddle says: 'Brush brush re, brush brush a-roo." Blaze said, reading the card.

"That sounds like a Bear in the Big Blue House song." Crystal said.

"You know that show, Crystal?" Blaze asked.

"Of course! It was one of my favorite shows when I was a filly! It was when Disney Junior was Playhouse Disney." Crystal explained.

"So brush-brush-re, I think has something to do with brushes, and where does Flare usually keep his brushes?" Psyche explained.

"Ah'd say in the bathroom, but Flare's a random one, so I doubt he'd leave his trailer organized." Aqua suggested.

"I DO SO KEEP MY TRAILER ORGANIZED! You jerk." I corrected him angrily.

"And for that, ya just told us where the first riddle is." Aqua said mischievously. So the five of them all went into my bathroom but I stayed in the lounge with Engie to test out his controllers.

"So which one of yer games should we use to test out these controllers?" Engie asked.

"I got this new game: Mystery Scape!" I said holding the game case.

"Sounds amazin’, partner! What's it about?" Engie asked.

"I dunno.” I shrugged. "It's not called Mystery Scape for nothing. It's one of those games of random things happening. The story changes at random times; it's so mind-blowing, brah!"

"Sounds awesome! Let's give it go!" Engie suggested.

"Ok but only because I want to; not because you suggested it.” I said as I inserted the game disk into my XBUCKS. "Alrighty then, it's loading! Hey, Engie? What do these controllers actually do?"

"Well, ah haven't really tested them yet." Engie explained. "They're supposed to connect to any gaming system, microwave, vending machine, fridge, lights…." Meanwhile with the others, they're in my lavatory looking for the next riddle. It's kinda confusing calling this a lavatory when there's no lava, and a lavatory kinda sounds like a coffee machine if you ask me.

"Did anypony find the next riddle yet?" Blaze asked, looking in the cabinet.

"I'm not a pony." Spike corrected him while looking in the bath tub.

"Well every..... whatever." Blaze said, as he continued looking.

"I think I found it." Psyche said, finding another note on one of my toothbrushes, as he accidentally stepped on Blaze's hoof.

"Ow!" Blaze yelled, and then he bumped his head on the sink pipe. "OW!"

"Sorry." Psyche said as he started reading the next note. "You may call me the Crystal Empire in a box. Ice, ice, baby!"

"Ice, ice, baby?" Crystal asked.

"Oh! I think I know what it's talking about! Follow me!" Spike said, as he exited the bathroom while stepping on Blaze's hoof.

"OW!" Blaze yelled as he bumped his head on the pipe again. "OW! Spike!"

"You were in my way, Blaze." Spike said. Blaze just sighed. Back with Engie and me, Engie continued explaining what else his controller connects to, “…treasure chest, window, book, and a plate full of nachos.” Engie then leaned over to me and whispered, “With jalapeños in it!”

"Alright well… ready to do this, Engie?" I asked.

"Ah was born ready!" he said. "Press start! Press start!" I kept pressing start but nothing was happening. "What are ya waitin’ for? Press start!"

"I am pressing start!" I yelled.

"Is this part of the game?" Engie asked.

"No, something starts when I press start. These controllers are broken! Angry face!" I yelled. Engie checked on the controllers to see what the problem is. He opened the battery compartment and saw the problem.

"It seems there's a problem with the batteries." Engie said.

"What's wrong with the batteries?" I asked.

"Its empty." he said, showing me the empty battery compartment.

"Well why are you sitting around? Go get some batteries!" I ordered him.

"This is yer trailer, y’all go get 'em!" he said.

I yawned. "Yeeeeeeah, I'm not gonna do that."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Too much effort!" I whined.

"Where do ya keep yer batteries?" Engie asked.

"In the kitchen." I said.

"It's too much effort to just go into yer kitchen and get 'em yerself?" Engie asked.

"Uh, duh!" I said.

"Well, which drawers are the batteries in?" Engie asked.

"Lazy face." I said.

"You won't even tell meh where the batteries are?" Engie asked.

"Didn't you just hear what I said? LAY... ZEE.... FACE!" I repeated myself.

Engie sighed. "Fine, ah'll get 'em, but dibs on player one." He said, walking out of the lounge and into the kitchen.

"Oh, and don't forget the hay bacon!" I yelled out.

"Didn't take you much effort yell across the house!" Engie yelled back from the kitchen.

"It all depends on my mood, my friend! MAGIC LAWS!" I yelled. When Engie went into the kitchen, Spike and the others were there too.

"Still playin’ the game?" Engie asked them.

"Spike has the feeling the next riddle is in the fridge." Aqua said.

"Yes, I think the next riddle is in the fridge." Spike said, opening the fridge.

"Uhh, I just said that." Aqua said confusingly. Crystal opened up the fridge to find the next riddle.

"I don't see anything." she said.

"No, it said, ice, ice, baby. Which means it must be in the freezer." Spike advised her as he opened the freezer. Engie looked through all the drawers in the kitchen to locate where I keep my batteries.

"Hey where does Flare leave his batteries?" Engie asked.

"Fourth drawer to the left of the oven, where the blender is." Blaze said. Engie looked into the drawer and found them.

"Ah! Here we are! Much obliged, Blaze!" Engie said, saluting him.

"Not a problem, Engie!" Blaze said, saluting back.

“Wait how do you know and not us?” Crystal complained. “You were the last to join the Noble Six.”

“I guess I’m the better friend!” Blaze said as he smiled at her and let out a squee.

"Did ya find the next riddle yet, Spike?" Aqua asked.

"Nope. I had the feeling it would be under the ice packs, but it wasn't there." Spike said.

"Did you look in the ice dispenser?" Psyche asked.

"Yeah, check the ice dispenser." Crystal repeated him. Spike checked the ice dispenser, and he found the riddle inside.

"Well, what do you know? There it is! Nice work, Crystal!" Spike said to her with glee. Crystal smiled and let out a squee and Psyche had a big confusing look on his face.

"Uh, I'm the one that hinted that the riddle is inside the ice machine!" Psyche complained.

"Yeah, that's nice, Psyche. Let's just continue." Spike said, walking towards the dining room table with the others. Psyche just facehoofed himself and joined them. Engie had no idea of which batteries to use so he just took all the batteries and rejoined me in the Lounge.

"What took you so long? Where's my smoothie?" I asked.

"Ah had trouble findin the batteries, and why do you want me to get- Wait, ya asked for hay bacon, not a smoothie." Engie corrected me.

"Or did I?" I said smirking at him.

"Did ya?" Engie asked confusingly.

"I dunno." I said, shrugging. So Engie places in the triple A batteries in the controllers, but I stopped him.

"Dude, are you stupid? Most game controllers have double A batteries inside, not triple!" I corrected him.

"But ah made these controllers." he said. "Ah programed them to power on triple A."

"Look, it's bad luck to put triple A batteries in a game controller, brah. I'm telling you, don't do it! Bad things will happen!" I warned him.

"What kind of bad things?" Engie asked me sarcastically.

"Just.... bad.... things." I said, holding a flashlight under my face. Engie just rolled his eyes at me, and then inserted the batteries inside anyway.

"Engie!" I yelled.

"It's not bad luck, we'll be fine, partner." he said.

"Fine, but when something happens, don't say I didn't warn you." I said as I crossed my arms.

"Now press start." he instructed me.

"You're player 1, you press start!" I whined at him.

Engie sighed. "Fine." He then pressed start, but just then the TV suddenly went blank. Engie just stared at the TV for around 20 seconds. I did too, but with a boring look, and leaning on my bean-bag chair.

I facehoofed and said, "Way to go, Engineer! You just broke the game!"

"How was ah suppose to know?" Engie complained.

"I told you putting in Triple A Batteries was a bad idea!" I corrected him.

"Shut up! It's not the batteries!" he corrected me. "Just you wait, maybe it's loadin."

"And maybe it's not." I added.

"And maybe it is!"

"And maybe it's not!"

"AND MAYBE IT IS!" we argued.

"AND MAYBE IT'S NOT!"

"AND MAYBE IT IS!"

"AND MAYBE IT IS!" I told him.

"AND MAYBE IT'S NOT!" he yelled at me.

"Well, I'm glad we both agree on something." I said while giving him a teasing look.

"Wait what?" he asked confusingly.

I then turned around, and walked towards my vending machine. "Well, how about some hot fries, man? If you have a quarter I can get some for ya. They're really good and spicy; you'll love as they tingle in your mouth and all that salt too!" Just as I was talking, my TV lit up as a big bright white light (ooo rhyme). I didn't notice because I was inserting the correct change in the vending machine to get the hot fries, but as I was doing so, Engie stared at the TV and his eye pupils grew. Eventually, a vortex appeared and it sucked Engineer right inside the TV. Engineer screamed, but he wasn't quick enough to call my attention and then he got sucked right into the TV and vanished in mid-air, not necessarily in that order. "Engie? These vending machine snacks aren't free, I need a bit if I were to get you one." I said, but I wasn't aware Engie was there. "Dude, don't let me buy you stuff all the time." I turned around and saw Engie wasn't there. "Oh... where did he go? Must've gone freeloading inside my fridge. Oh well." I shrugged as I walked over to the TV. "I hope he doesn't eat my leftover egg roll from lunch. That's what I'm really afraid of. He can take the Chinese noodles if he wants, but NOT the egg roll!" I looked at the TV and it was still black like I remembered. I just sat there on my bean-bag chair waiting for Engie, but little did I know that he was inside my TV. Meanwhile, in the video game universe, Engie appeared in the middle of a big green checkerboard box room.

"Huh? Where am ah?" Engie asked himself. "Is this Nickelodeon? Because Nickelodeon is pretty green. It ain’t easy bein’ green. Wait, ah’m not in Nickelodeon; am ah... inside the game?" Engie looked around, and there was nothing interesting to be seen. "Howdy? Anypony here? Hello?!" Engie looked up and saw something floating on his head, he screamed, and started running around like a maniac, but it didn't take him long to realize that those figures above him was a 'P1' symbol saying he's Player 1. Engie thought to himself for a second thinking of what to do next and how to get out. He saw at a western wall that there was a vortex that said 'Level 1' on top of it. “Mama always said it’s never a good idea to go into a wormhole, but since ah was the one that programmed her and thus her advice is invalid to me, what do ah have to lose?” So he walked inside the vortex and he suddenly disappeared.

Meanwhile, back in real life, I was just sitting there slurping on a smoothie. I was getting curious because Engie was nowhere to be found. "Hiccup. How dry I am?” I sang. Afterwards, I said in my normal voice, “Gee, I wonder when Engie's gonna get back? I'm starting to wonder." I looked over at one of Engie's controllers and I saw a few electric sparks on it. "Forty-five degree angle mouth face." I said as I then cautionly picked up one of the game controllers and took a look at it.

"What kind of controllers are these anyway? They seem to have that one third handle on the very bottom like I have a third hoof to use. Stupid Nintendo." Just then, my TV started lighting up again. "What in the Wizard of Hope's name is this? ENGIE'S GAME CONTROLLERS BROKE MY TV AGAIN!" I yelled, and slammed the controller on the floor. Just then, a 2-D pony hoof that looked like it game from a drawing popped up out of the TV and it moved around as if it was asking me to come in. I was really confused. "Hey! GET OUT OF MY TV!" I yelled trying to pull on the hoof, but the hoof was stronger than mine was, and it just pulled me right in.

Right after I was pulled in, it looked like I was in a drawing sketch pad universe. The song 'Take On Me' by Ah Ha was playing in the background and some pony dude with a black leather jacket and a white shirt started dancing and singing. I just looked around and I was really confused, but then I just shrugged and danced with him. Eventually, a couple of pilots appeared carrying pipe wrenches, and they looked pretty mad at us. The pony in the black jacket started running and I started to follow. The two pilots began chasing us through the 2D drawing sketch world and we ran from corridor to corridor, corner to corner until we wounded up at a dead-end. The pilots just glared at us and they wielded their wrenches up and ready. The pony in the jacket started pushing at the wall, and I just started pushing the wall on the opposite side. After I was able to break through the wall, the song stopped I was no longer in a 2D drawing sketch world (you know what I mean). I then suddenly appeared at a room that had a pink floor, green walls with yellow stripes, and a tiffany light hanging down on the ceiling. "WHAT IS GOING ON?!" I yelled. “I mean I feel very sad about my drawing sketch friend because he probably got attacked by those pilots but may turn real later on and I wouldn’t care why, I’d just be crying tears of joy, but WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

Meanwhile, back with Engineer, he appears in the middle of a big white room with lots of colorful squares. He walked forward curiously, holding his wrench close to him. As he was walking, he suddenly heard an echo the background, and Engie held his wrench out, defending himself in case something came out to attack him. Engie then crouched down towards the floor to look under one of the colorful squares, but when he lifted the square, it floated up and disappeared. He got back up and started to sweat. "Nopony's here. Ah'm stuck in video game land… No more Flare… No more! Ah found a place where ah'm gonna stay all.... alooooooone." he said, when a giant colorful bubble that said 'alone' appeared out of his mouth, and then lots of voices started echoing in the background saying 'alone', with lots of word bubbles that say 'alone' suddenly appeared all around one by one. Afterwards, all the 'alones' started shrinking and all the voices kept saying 'alone' over and over again until the words shrunk down and vanished. Engineer was really scared. "AH GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" he yelled as he started running in one direction (not referencing the band), but obviously he wasn't going anywhere since he was in the middle of nowhere. He just ran in an infinite loop. He suddenly stopped eventually and he started yelling, "WHERE'S THE EXIT?! WHERE'S EVERYTHING!?" He then started stomping on the ground and started shouting, "WHERE?! WHERE?! WHERE?! WHERE?! WHERE?!" After that fifth 'where', the stomping caused a hole on the ground and he suddenly fell into the room where I appeared in the first time right after the drawing sketch world.

"Engie! There you are!" I said excitedly as I helped him on his hooves.

"Flare? You’re trapped in this game too?" he asked.

"Trapped in a game? I thought I was trapped in a Ah-Ha music video?" I asked.

Engie just looked at me with a straight face. "No comment. Let's just find a way out."

"Hey check it out! You got a 'P1' floating on top of your head." I said as I pointed towards his Player 1 symbol.

"Well you have a 'P2' floatin’ on yer head." Engie said as he pointed to my player 2 symbol.

"Player 2? Aw man! I wanted to be player 7!" I complained.

"But there's only two of us playin’ and the XBUCKS only allows 4 players." Engie reminded me.

"Maybe somepony else got trapped in the game. I hope it was Spike." I said.

"They're probably still busy on your scavenger hunt game." he reminded me.

"Heh!” I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's gonna take them forever to finish that game. I assure you that, Engie." I said with a mischievous look on my face.

"C'mon, there's the way to Level 2." Engie pointed to a vortex that leads to Level 2 right behind me where I fell into this level the first time.

"Level 2? What was level 1 then?" I asked.

"Ah was just in the middle of nowhere." Engie said as he started walking towards the vortex.

"I didn't think that music video was level 1." I said confusingly. So wee both walked into the vortex and we both vanished; I’d say we teleported to the next level.

Meanwhile, back with Spike and the others, they were looking all around my trailer for the next riddle. "I really don't get this." Spike said. "What did the riddle say again?"

"Look for a pearl in a box, I'm right next to her." Aqua said as he read the riddle.

"This is getting stupid." Crystal complained. "Flare doesn't have any pearls; unless we check his personal chest."

"Trust me, Crystal. Flare doesn't want us going into his personal chest." Spike said.

"Yeah, I strongly doubt the riddle would lead to there." Blaze agreed.

"But a pearl in a box? I didn't know Flare even owns any pearls." Crystal said. Everypony noticed Psyche started laughing in my closet.

"What's so funny, Psyche?" Aqua asked.

"I'm reading Flare's personal diary!" Psyche said as he laughed even harder. "Look at this! Yesterday I noticed my employees found my hoof-nail collection, and now I'm really angry face at them for that. Can you believe this?! Flare collects his hoof-nails! That is so gross!" Psyche laughed even harder.

"Psyche, please don't go into Flare's personal belongings!" Aqua advised him.

"Keep reading, Psyche! Keep reading!" Spike instructed him as he sat next to him.

"Alright! I went to deliver a pizza to Cranky Doodle Donkey, but he keeps telling me he didn't order a pizza, but when he finally blew a fuse, he smashed the pizza on the ground, and stomp on it. That was why I was crying all that day, but that would be embarrassing if that was the reason, so I lied and my reason was that Fluttershy's pet toad died." Psyche and Spike continued laughing really hard after he read that.

"I don't believe you two." Aqua said, shaking his head.

“Why would you two laugh over at a pet toad dying?” Crystal asked. “That’s sad, not funny!”

“Don’t worry, Crystal. I doubt Fluttershy’s toad actually died.” Aqua assumed.

"Wait! I think I found the next riddle!" Blaze said, standing near my fish tank. "The riddle said a pearl in a box; I'm right next to her. Flare's white molly is named Pearl, and she's inside a fish tank which is shaped like a box, and there's the riddle right next to her!"

"FINALLY! It's about time you found the riddle! I'm getting tired of swimming at the same spot for the past 40 minutes!" Pearl complained.

"You're really impatient, aren't you Pearl? Rainbow and I can float in place for a week if we wanted to." Dorthey said.

"Then how would you eat?" Yoyo asked.

"I just hope the flakes float down towards me." Dorthey said.

“Oh snap, Blaze! That is pretty clever.” Crystal said.

“Thanks!” Blaze said as he dumps his hoof inside the tank to grab the next riddle.

“So what does that one say?” Crystal asked.

“I don’t know. The paper is all soggy from the water.” Blaze said.

“Here, I can help.” Aqua assisted as he uses his magic to dry up the little piece of paper and now it is no longer soggy.

“Nice, Aqua! I didn’t think you could do that!” Blaze said.

“I can do almost anything water related, mate. Either dry or wet, I can do it.” Aqua said.

“That… doesn’t rhyme.” Crystal pointed out.

"Get out of my trailer and go have a snack while you swim." Blaze said as he read the next riddle.

"So, we have to leave the trailer to find the next riddle, huh?" Psyche asked.

"But how we suppose to know where the next riddle is?" Aqua asked.

"There's the lake outside of town near Everfree and there's the town pool." Blaze said.

"Well the pool seems to be a good place to go first since there are more likely snacks there than the Ponyville lake.” Psyche suggested.

"Too easy. He only EXPECTS us to find it there." Crystal said.

"We should split up. Crystal, Aqua, you head to the lake. The rest of us will go to the town pool." Blaze instructed them.

"Who elected you team leader?" Crystal complained.

"Look there's no time. Let's just win this thing!" Spike suggested. So then they went out of my trailer to look for the next riddle. Back in the game, Engie and I reached level 2, which looked like ctf_2fort on TF2.

"Hmm, this place looks like the spawn area for ctf_2fort when ah do mah matches." Engie said.

"Looks like we're playing a little TF2, huh?" I asked.

"Ah believe so." Engie said.

"You already picked your class, I wanna be Pyro!" I said.

"Why ya wanna be pyro?" Engie asked.

"Uhh, they don't call me 'Flare Gun' for nothing you know!” I teased as I held a flare gun on my hoof. “Oh wait, I mean… Mmm-mmm-mmm!”

"C'mon, let's go!" he said. So we opened up the spawn menu door and we started walking out, but in slow-motion as Also Sprach Zarathustra plays in the background. We keep slow-mo walking out until I gave out a little fart, and it cuts off the music.

"That’s 2 bits a gallon.” I blushed.

"Way to ruin the moment." Engie complained as he facehooved himself. We peeked over at the battlements but there were no other classes around.

"Wow, the area is as empty as... ummm... my refrigerator after a Monday." I said.

"That's the best ya got?" Engie asked.

"Pretty much. Wow, this game lacks enemies! What a rip-off! I paid 4 whole bits on this game!" I complained.

"4 bits ain't alota money, Flare." Engie corrected me.

"Says you! You don't own a famous pizza joint like I do! So I make like thousands of bits per week and 4 bits..... hmm... you got a point there, Engie." I nodded.

"C'mon, it's all clear, let's just go!" Engie instructed me as he ran outside into the open, but then something exploded and he suddenly flew against the wall where I was. He was all burnt up as he laid against the wall.

"MAGIC LAWS! MAGIC LAWS! MAGIC LAWS!" I yelled really fast.

"Ow!" Engie yelled as the red bar on top of him started to lose its red.

"Hey check it out, Engie – You lost health." I pointed out.

"Yeah no kiddin’! What was that anyway?" Engie asked. "Soldier? Demostallion?"

I helped him up. "I-D-K, brah. Maybe you stepped on a mine."

"There are no mines in Team Fortress." Engie corrected me.

"Yeah, well, this isn't Team Fortress. It's Mystery Scape." I corrected him.

"Yeah, ya do got a point there." Engie nodded.

"Of course I got a point there! 'Cause I'm smarter than you, fool!" I taunted him, as I started shaking my head around as the We No Speak Americano song played in the background. The song cuts off right after I stop shaking my head.

"Just keep your voice down and be careful. There might be more explosives out there." Engie advised me as he peeked over. "It's all clear. So slowly... follow me... and..."

"FOR GREAT JUSTICE!" I yelled as I started running through the battlements.

"FLARE, NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Engie yelled out at me, but just like that, I was already at blue base. "Ah don't believe it." he said in shock, shaking his head.

"There! You see? No harm done!" I said.

"Well in that case..." Engie suddenly started running through the battlements until another explosive hit him but fortunately I had a better view of who was spawning those explosives. It looked like something green and square that ran towards him and blew up. Engie suddenly flew right over to me after the explosion hit him and his health meter went even lower right after he lands on the wall next to me, laying upside down against it. "Y’all have it easy these days, partner!" he complained.

"'Cause I'm better than you, fool!" I taunted as I started shaking my head again to We No Speak Americano. I helped Engie get up and we continued to walk. "I think I had a clear visual of what attacked you."

"Oh? Do tell!" Engie said.

"Well, not completely, but it was green, and looked square, and it disappeared just as the explosion occurred." I explained. "You have any idea what I'm talking about?"

"Ah think ah might have one idea." Engie said.

”Is it a good idea?” I asked.

“It’s definitely a better idea than a snowpony baking a cake.” Engie said.

A cutaway shows a swowpony reading a newspaper on his dining room table, and his wife comes in with a big cake and sets it on the table. “Here you are dear! Happy birthday! I baked it myself!” the wife snowpony said as her nose was missing.

“Oh boy, I’m starving!” the husband said excitedly as he took a bite of the cake.

“Enjoying it, dear?” the wife asked.

“It tastes like boogers.” The husband said.

“Well IT IS carrot cake after all.” The wife said. The cutaway ends there.

Just then, we saw more of those green box things running towards us again. "WHOA, SWEET ANNOUNCER!" Engie yelled as he used his shotgun that he found from spawn and blew up those green blocks.

"Oh now I know what they are! They're molotov Sprite cans that turned square!" I said.

"No you idiot!" Engie said as he slapped the back of my head. "Those are creepers from Minecraft!"

I then smacked Engie on the back of the head as well. “STOP WITH THE VIOLENCE!” I yelled at him.

"Whatever, but what are they doin here?" Engie asked.

"Two words: Mystery Scape." I explained. "I played this once before; anything can happen, and I mean ANYTHING!"

"Uhh, can ya not say that while standin’ so close to mah face?" Engie asked, so I backed-away from him. "Now, ah don't really know how this game works, but ah'm assumin’ that our way out is in the Blue base's intel room."

"So we're going in the sewers!” I said.

"No, we're goin to the intel room; that's in the basement of the base." Engie explained.

"Basement of the base; really, Engie?" I asked, giving him a funny look.

"Let's go." he said. So we both walked into the courtyard, but just as we were about to go up the stairs, we were surrounded by more creepers.

"IT'S A TRAP!" I yelled in Admiral Ackbar's voice.

"We can do this! Just watch mah back!" Engie instructed me.

I looked over at his back and said, "Your back isn't very entertaining."

"Just help me fight these blockheads!" Engie instructed me.

"Right ahead of ya, brah!" I said as I activated the flamethrower that I found from spawn. The creepers screamed and started charging at us. We screamed and then started charging at them as well. Engie shot some creepers and they exploded, and I used my flamethrower to light 'em up! Some were able to damage us but we were holding up all right. Engie had me take most of the damage since his health was already low, but we did find a couple of health items and ammo on the way to the intel room. A creeper jumped on Engie's back, but he was able to throw it off him before it blew up. We made it downstairs to the basement but I was out of ammo once I got there. "Sigh! I'm out of ammo!"

"Well yer pyro class, use yer fire axe!" Engie suggested.

"What this thing?" I asked as I held the axe grasped on my hooves. "This thing is only good for chopping down trees, it doesn't do damage to anything else." I then threw the axe on the wall, unaware there was a creeper there and it blew up. "Forget it, I'm using my magic. Flamethrowers are over-rated anyway."

"How about the flare gun ya got from spawn?" Engie asked.

"I already have the flare spell, dude." I reminded him.

"Look, whatever, we're so close to the briefcase room, and..." But before Engie can finish his sentence, a couple of creepers walked up towards us, and both of our healths were like at 1%. "You kiddin me right?"

"Yay! This is fun!" I cheered clapping my hooves.

"We're only on level 2!" Engie yelled.

"Outta 10 levels!” I added.

Engie facehoofed himself. "We're doomed."

"No we're not! Look, the intel room is right there. If there was something big in there, there would be health items nearby, we'll be fine." I said. "Now where's the quick-save feature, just in case?" A tip notice suddenly showed up below us and it said: 'No quick-saves are available in this game.' "D'OH!" I yelled. We both snuck over to the intel room and saw the briefcase right there on the table. "So... we have to get the briefcase and bring it back to base right?"

"Ah dunno. Let's just grab it and see what happens." Engie said.

"Alright... but if a giant ball chases us, I'm whacking you with a broom." I warned him.

"Fair enough." he said. So we both walked over to the briefcase but first we took a look around to see any visible security systems. We both lifted our hooves and was about to grab it, but our hooves touched together. "'Ay! Careful, partner!"

"Hey! You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!" I complained.

"Wait what?" Engie asked.

"Reeses puffs cereal! Part of this good breakfast!" I said holding a Reeses Puffs box. Engie just rolled his eye, and just as he was going to pick up the briefcase, my hoof was in the way again.

"Flare!" he yelled.

"Are you picking it up or am I? Because you just told me I was going to be the one to pick it up." I pointed out.

"Fine! You pick it up." Engie said angrily.

"No, not with that attitude I'm not." I said, facing away from him. So then Engie just shook his head, and was about to grab the briefcase, but then I placed my Reeses Puffs box in front of his hoof.

"FLARE!" he yelled.

"PART OF THIS GOOD BREAKFAST!" I screamed. Then I just smiled at him and let out a squee. He just stared at me for a sec and then he looked at the briefcase, and was about to grab it, but before I can block his hoof, he blocked mine. He chuckled at me mischievously and then was about to grab it with his other hoof, but I used my other hoof from the other side of him to block the way.

"Wait... what the?" Engie was really confused because I was standing to the right of him and one of my hooves was blocking from the left of him; however, he couldn't give up, so he used his tongue to reach for the briefcase; although half-way there he stopped and looked at me.

"What?" I asked. "I'm not gonna block with my tongue while your tongue is out! That's disgusting!" He looked back at the briefcase and just took the handle by his tongue and lifted it and then he grabbed it with his hooves.

"See? No giant ball." he said smiling.

"Aww, I really wanted to use the broom!" I complained. Suddenly, just then, the area started shaking, like an earth quake. We nervously looked around, waiting for something to happen, although it was nothing because a small health kit fell out of a vent and landed in front of us. Engie quickly pushed me and grabbed the health, healing himself.

"HA! I am in full-health, and you're still in low-filth! HA HA HA!" Engie teased me and started rahfulling (rolling on floor laughing). I just glared at him and then I shot my laser blast at him, and then whacked him with my hornsaber spell, and then shot a flare at him, and cooled him off using water squirter.

"OW!" he yelled. "What was that?! Now ah'm low on health again!"

"Well that's you get for teasing me like that!" I yelled.

"You tease me like that all the time!" Engie reminded me.

"I only do it for fun; that was just rude!" I said.

"What's the difference?" he asked.

"Look, we'll find more health later, but for now we should be heading to the next level." I said, pointing to the vortex that leads to the next level. "Thank Wizard of Hope we don't have to fight those creepers-sneepers-beepers-neepers-cheepers-meepers-MEEP-MEEP-MEEP-oh listen to me I sound like an anchovy, meep meep meep-anymore.”

"Right, let's just head to the next level." he said as we both walked into the vortex to the next level of the game.

Meanwhile, back in our world, Blaze, Psyche, and Spike were at the town pool, looking for the next riddle.

"Ah, the swimming pool at night. Can't think of a more relaxing time than this. If only I bought my water-wings." Spike said.

"Get out of my trailer and go eat a snack while you swim." Blaze repeated the riddle. "We have to look for something 'snack' related."

"I'm way ahead of ya, Blaze." Spike winked at him as he then started crawling and sniffing at the ground.

"Heh! Wow! Look at this! I saw the mayor shaving her legs and it turns out her real color is pink." Psyche laughed as he was reading my diary still.

"Seriously, dude?" Blaze asked curiously. "We gotta look for the riddle. Put that diary back where you found it!"

"No way, man! This is hilarious!" Psyche said. "By the looks of, the mayor, she might be Pinkie Pie in disguise, just like Photo Finish is Rainbow Dash in disguise! HA! And look at this! The mayor wears make-up to bed! Why would Flare write this?" Psyche started laughing real hard but unaware that Mayor Mare was standing right next to him, glaring at him, and cleared her throat.

"You should watch your mouth, Psyche." Blaze advised him.

"Ha ha ha! What do you mean?" Psyche asked embarrassingly as the mayor wacked Psyche with her towel and walked away with a pout. "Ow! Why didn't you tell me she was here?"

"I was going to but what's the use? I wasn't fast enough I guess." Blaze shrugged.

"Wow, Blaze Goldheart not fast? That's a first!" Spike teased.

"Hey, Spike, how about you go back to sniffing for the snack, boy? Go on boy, fetch the snack!" Blaze instructed him.

"I’m not a dog you know!” Spike corrected him.

"Not yet, but you have the makings of one.” Crystal said as she and Aqua step over to the pool deck after searching the lake. “I wouldn’t be surprised you were a dog in an alternate universe.” She chuckles.

"We had no luck at the lake." Aqua said. "All we found was this gem and a coupon for Porker's BBQ." Spike suddenly grabbed the gem out of Aqua's hoof with his tongue like a fly and ate it. "I was actually savin’ this gem for the app. Ya know how rare it is to get earn a gem? I’m still tryin’ to buy a Rarity.”

"How about you guys? Did you find anything yet?" Crystal asked.

"No, not yet, but I suppose there's something to do with snacking around here, and then we'd find our riddle.” Blaze said.

"Hey guys, I found a Cheese-It box!" Spike said.

"Yeah, and that's mine." a light blue pony with a blond mane and a music note cutie mark said. She's a really good friend of mine, a new friend actually, her name is Spark Note.

"Hey Spark Note!" Blaze said.

"Hey, what's going on?" Spark Note asked.

"We're playing a riddle game that Flare made for us and we're trying to find the next riddle." Blaze said.

"And we have the feeling it's in this Cheese-It box." Spike said as he peeked inside inside.

"Why would there be a riddle inside my Cheese-It box?" Spark Note asked.

"Hey, ya know how Flare is." Aqua said.

"HA! Flare sometimes eats his hoof-nails! That's even more disgusting!" Psyche laughed as he continued to read my diary.

"Will you quit reading that Psyche?" Blaze asked him.

"No way, this is funny!" Psyche said.

"Hey I found the riddle!" Spike said, holding the riddle in his hand.

"I hope you washed your hands before reaching in there." Spark Note said.

Blaze grabbed the riddle and read it. "Something poundy with a pumpkin in a sweet place; a place that AppleJack talks about all the time. I... I don't get it."

"Me neither, that's a toughie." Crystal said.

"Havin’ problems there, sugarcubes?" AppleJack asked while relaxing in the pool.

"Oh hey AppleJack! Well, we're trying to find out what this riddle is. Flare gave us a riddle game to play." Blaze explained. "It talks about a place you talk about alot, a place with something poundy with a pumpkin in a sweet place."

"Sorry, sugarcubes. The only places ah talk about mostly is my farm, but ah don't think Flare left anything there. Ah’d know, believe me.”

"I see. Well thanks anyway, AppleJack!" Blaze said.

"Not a problem, sugarcube!" AppleJack said.

"Wait... I got it!" Aqua said.

"Did you get another gem?" Spike asked really happy.

"Uhh, no." Aqua said.

"I think I know where the next riddle is. It’s at Sugarcube Corner." Aqua said.

"That's right! A place where AppleJack talks about all the time!" Crystal said excitedly.

"Ah don't talk about Sugarcube Corner that mu- Ooooooh, ha ha ha! Now ah get it! It's because ah say 'sugarcube' alot! Ah see what Flare did there!" AppleJack laughed.

"Makes sense to me! Let's head over to Sugarcube Corner!" Blaze said.

“Wow Aqua, you sure figured that out quickly. Usually it takes me a while to figure riddles out, like the joke that Yoda said recently.” Crystal said.

A cutaway shows Yoda at a stand-up brick wall comedy club. Yoda (who’s sitting on a stool because the microphone is too high for him) suddenly said on the microphone, “Ok, listen to me you all must do. For a joke, I have in stock for you! Why is five afraid of seven?”

“Why?” Crystal asked in the crowd.

“Because five seven eight!” Yoda said and the crowd started laughing, but not Crystal.

“I… I don’t get it. Why is five afraid of seven, because six seven eight? I don’t get it.” Crystal said. You’ll get it. Trust me, get it, you will. Wink, wink. The cutaway ends.

Meanwhile back in the game, Engie and I made it to the next level. Our objective was to get to the top of a pyramid without getting killed by the Boomers from Gears of War guarding it. Engie and I split up and tried to evade all the Boomers. One of them shot down a column and it was about to fall on Engie; however, I saved him by using my magic to turn the column into a toolgun from Garry’s Mod. Engie nodded at me thankfully and ran off, but I wasn’t doing it for him. I was disappointed that I still couldn’t use my magic to turn anything into something I really wanted, and all the toolgun did was the no-collide function which was useless. So Engie and I started running again to the top of the giant drinking-fountain, which was the Aztec pyramid, but it looked like a big drinking fountain to me. We climbed to the top, evaded the remaining Boomers, and grabbed the treasure on top, which was..... an ice cream scooper. Hmm, well then.

Meanwhile, Blaze and the others went to Sugarcube Corner to look for the next riddle. Spike was looking in the fridge of course, Blaze checked at the pick-up counter, Crystal was looking in the toy trunk in the baby's room, and Aqua was looking around Pinkie's room as Psyche was reading my diary to Pinkie, and they were both laughing. Aqua just rolled his eyes and continued. Crystal eventually found the next riddle in Pumpkin Cake's mouth. Pumpkin looked like she was about to cry because she was using that, so Crystal gave her a pretzel stick to put in her mouth. Pumpkin then takes out a lighter and was about to light the pretzel stick’s end but Crystal takes the lighter away from her and shakes her head. Pretending to smoke can encourage some to smoke for real, so don’t be a bad influence. Don’t smoke. Find out more on smokefreeequestria.com. Crystal yelled out that she found the next riddle, but it woke up the Cakes and they saw my friends downstairs and thought they were robbers since the lights were off. The Cakes started attacking my friends until they ran out and then Pound Cake hit Crystal in the head with a frying pan.

Back at the game, we went up to level 4. We were about to race against some soccer moms in the mall and the mission was to get the most items in our budget. Engie pushed a shopping cart, I rode in the basket, and we waited until the light went green. When it did, we raced through the mall against the soccer moms and attempted to buy the most stuff. I pointed to the clothes and saw there was a pair of socks on sale, so we went over to get them, until I saw a pillow case 80% off, so we went to get that. The soccer moms were really a problem. One of the ugly old ones had spikes on one of the tires of her shopping cart and started scrapping those spikes towards one of our wheels. I took Engie's wrench and I was about to do something about those tires, but then her infant son popped up from the shopping cart with his toy sword. I had a little duel with the baby until I eventually pushed the sword out of his hooves. I stuck my tongue out at him, and then he spit his binky out of his mouth and onto my eye. I took out a garlic roll and shoved it in his mouth. The soccer mom suddenly stopped the shopping cart and took out some mouth wash to fix up the baby's breath. That will keep her busy. I high-hoofed Engie as we rode on to the check-out line and finished the level.

Blaze and the others were continuing their scavenger hunt at Rarity's shop. Blaze was looking in the dressing room, Aqua was looking in Rartiy's clothes, Spike just stared at Rarity as she slept, Psyche was reading my diary to Opal and they were both laughing, and Crystal looked in Rarity's wardrobe. The main reason Crystal looked in the wardrobe is to see if there was a magical land on the other side, like Narnia, but all she saw was a dark alley on the other side, full of trash, hobos, and a black cat. Crystal was confused because is that what Narnia looks like? Pound Cake then crawled over to Crystal and hit her in the head with a frying pan again. Eventually, Aqua found the next riddle on one of Rarity's dress ponikins. Those ponikins kinda freaked Spike out a bit after a previous encounter with them.

Engie and I finally made it to level 7! We were under attack by sock monkeys wearing Indian clothes. I told Engie to just go get the treasure while I keep the monkeys busy. Engie did a flip over the monkeys and ran to go retrieve the treasure which was a blender. The monkeys were about to pounce on me, but luckily for me I turned on my armor lock spell just as they land on me. I deactivated my armor lock, which caused a chain reaction for the sock monkeys to fly across the room and they were stunned. Engie grabbed the blender, although it created a trap. A giant ball appeared and it started rolling down towards us. Engie and I started to running so we could escape the ball. We eventually made it out, but just as Engie was wiping his sweat, I started whacking him on the head with a broom. When I say I’ll do something if something else happens, I mean it.

The scavenger hunters rushed over to Fluttershy's house to find the next riddle. Aqua was looking in the chicken pen but he ran into a little trouble in there as the chickens were throwing their eggs at him. Why murder their own babies just to keep out an intruder? Oh wait, they were just the egg shells, nevermind. Blaze looked in the beaver dam but while he was looking, they were whacking him in the face with their tails. Psyche was reading my diary to Angel, and he was laughing, but Angel wasn't. He just slapped Psyche in the face and shook his head. Crystal was searching inside a Hairy the Bear's mouth, and the bear roared at Crystal, but didn't attack. Instead, Pound Cake popped out from the bear's mouth and whacked Crystal on the head with a frying pan, and then the bear and Pound Cake bro-hoofed. Eventually, Aqua found the riddle inside one of the eggs.

Engie and I eventually made it to level 10! The final level! The treasure was simple. All we had to do was cross the large gap by jumping on the floating plates. We jumped on one, then another, then another, then another, and everytime we stepped on a plate, it sounded like Also Sprach Zarathustra, but just then, that last plate triggered a trap and all the plates started falling, including us. Engie grabbed my hoof, and he took out a pen with propeller was on it, and then Engie and I floated to safety. “Too infinity… and beyond!” Engie yelled. When we got to the top, Engie was just about to grab the battery on the pillar, but his hoof just went right through it like a hologram. The battery then disappeared. We looked back and saw Emperor Zurg coming up to us with a big gun in his hand.

"So, we meet again players, FOR THE LAST TIME!" he said.

"Not today Zurg!" I taunted.

"What in tarnation is this?" Engie asked.

"Isn't it obvious? This is the same area as the beginning of Toy Story 2." I said. Zurg started shooting tennis balls at us with his gun and we dodged out of the way. "Not giant balls, but small balls. It still counts." So I took out my broom again and started whacking Engie on the head with it, but more gently since the balls were smaller.

"GIMMIE THAT!" Engie yelled as he grabbed my broom and snapping it in half.

"You mad bro?" I asked him.

"Prepare to die!" Zurg said as he continued shooting at us. Engie grabbed one of the plates that followed us when while were falling before and shielded us from the tennis balls that Zurg was shooting as us with. Engie then threw the plate at Zurg's head. Zurg yelled because it hurt him. I did a back flip over Zurg, and I was about to fire my SHOOP DA WHOOP at him.

"SHOOP DA WHOO-" I said, but Zurg shot first! Wait, no he didn't. Han shot first! HA! I'm joking, but I did get shot, and died. My whole top body vanished.

"FLARE! NOOOOOOOO!" Engie yelled as he saw my vanish before his eyes. Engie ran over to me and saw my torso was completely missing; it was just my legs. Engie was really upset and a tear fell from his eye. Zurg started was laughing evilly. Engie growled, his anger rose, and then he screamed. He was about to charge at Zurg and finish him, but just as he was charging, he vaporized Engie with his gun. Zurg chuckled and we were defeated. Was the game over? No, of course not! We just respawned right back to the beginning of the level. Both of us. "RAAAAAAAAAH!" Engie yelled, but then he realized we were back at the other side of the floaty plate bridge. "Wait. What in the livin’ hay just happened?"

"We lost, brah! Now we have to do the whole level all over again!" I complained. "Way to go, Engineer!"

"Flare?!" Engie cried in excitement. "FLARE, YOU'RE ALIVE!" He gave me a big hug. "Ah thought ya died, partner?"

"I did die, but thanks to you losing the fight against Zurg, we have to do the level all over again." I complained as I rolled my eyes.

"Ah.... ah don't understand." Engie said confusingly. "Ya died. Ah died! How did we.... this game has a respawn?"

"Well, yeah kinda." I said.

"Do we have limited lives?" Engie asked.

"Quite frankly, no." I said. "This game has unlimited lives. We just have to start the whole level over if we die. I always get stuck for hours and hours at the last level. I never seem to defeat it."

"Well.... not alone. Ya have me now! There's two of us and one of him! He doesn't stand a chance!" Engie said.

"You do have a point there, brah." I nodded.

"So why didn't ya tell me we didn't have lives?" Engie asked. "Remember that level when we both were low on health and we were under attack by those fighter planes?"

"Well, it takes teamwork, man! If you knew this was an unlimited respawn game, then our actions might've been a little more unrealistic." I explained. "If we thought we'd just die for real if we die in the game, then we'd work harder to win!"

"Ya are such a troll, Flare." Engie said shaking his head.

"Nah, I prefer being a gnome. They have really cool food and cocktails so I heard; plus I’d love to wear one of those pointy hats.” I said.

"Ready to win this thing, partner?" Engie asked with his hoof out.

"Ready as spaghetti, brah!" I said as I punched him in the face.

"OW!" he yelled, holding his nose. His health bar then reduces a little bit.

"Oh woops, I think missed your hoof." I said.

"UHH, YA THINK?!" Engie yelled at my face.

"Ow, that was loud!" I complained as I held my ears, and yes that reduced my health too. Anything that hurts will reduce your health.

Meanwhile, the scavenger hunters were walking across town and were about to find the next riddle. "So what does the next riddle say again?" Crystal asked as she held an ice pack on her head.

"It just says: Go to Filthy Rich's house." Blaze said, reading the riddle. "This ain't much like a riddle if you ask me."

"How long will it be until this hunt is over? I'm getting so bored right now!" Spike complained.

"Probably not much longer." Blaze said.

"Not much longer? Ya know how long we've been doin this for? FOUR HOURS!" Spike complained.

"Well, if that's what that means, then we might not be too far to finished. Ain't I right, Spike?" Crystal asked him in a squeaky voice, close to face and booped him in the nose.

"Well then...." Spike said, rubbing his nose.

"I need some amusement. Psyche, did you find anything in the diary worth being amused about?" Crystal asked.

"Not really. I'm in the part of the diary when Flare keeps writing down how much he hates Nickelback." Psyche said.

"I wouldn't blame him." Aqua said.

"Nickelback's a great band! Why would anypony hate his type of art?" Crystal asked.

"You call that art? It's full of depressing rock music. Not really my thing.” Aqua said.

"I don't mind depressing rock. I just don't think his music is that good." Psyche said.

"How can you not like something and not have a reason for it?" Crystal asked.

"Might be just a habbit." Aqua assumed.

"Actually, everypony has a reason for not liking something, they just don't it yet. Probably something to do with my past or maybe it's a family thing, I have no clue." Psyche said.

"Well that's a fist- I mean, first." Spike said as he he slapped his forehead. "Why did I just say fist? Why in Celestia's name did I just say fist instead of first?"

"Well, here's Filthy Rich's house." Blaze said as they walked over towards the mansion.

"Wow! This place is cleaner than I thought." Crystal said.

"What made ya think it wasn't?" Aqua asked.

"His name is 'Filthy' Rich? Duh!" Crystal pointed out.

"Oooooook then." Aqua said confusingly. Blaze then rang the doorbell next to the front door, and a brown pony with a shaggy black mane, some square glasses, a pink maid outfit with a white apron, and some yellow gloves on her front hooves answered the door.

"Miser Rich no here." the maid with the Hispanic accent said.

"Yeah, well we need to go...." Blaze was interrupted by the maid.

"Ehh, no, no, Miser Rich... he no is here." the maid said.

"Yeah, well, did a red pony happen to come here and leave any riddles?" Blaze asked.

"No, no, you trespassing. I call cops." the maid said.

"That won't be necessary." Blaze said nervously. "We'll just be going."

"No, no...." the maid said and closed the door.

"Was that Consuela?" Psyche asked.

"Who?" Blaze asked.

"Consuela. She was that maid that I saw when I was in a town hall meeting back in Trottingham." Psyche said.

A cutaway shows Consuela on a court stand with a stallion talking to her. "And what are your demands?" the stallion in the suit asked.

"We need more lemon pledge." Consuela said.

"You need more lemon pledge." the stallion repeated.

"Si." Consuela said.

"We're not responsible for that. You should just bring it from your own home." the stallion suggested.

"Nnnoooooo." Consuela said. The cutaway ends there.

Back at the game we just finished defeating Zurg. "Nooooooooooo!" Zurg yells as he falls down a pit.

"YEAH! THIS.... IS... SPARTAAAAAAAAA!" I yelled.

"We did it Flare! We finally finished the game!" Engie said excitedly.

"Well, I couldn've done it without you, brah! We finished the game, and now we can return home, and finally play some games that makes my armpits sweaty a different way! Not including using the Wii or the XBUCKS Connect." I said. A vortex then appears right after Engie picked up the real battery treasure.

"This is it! We ready to go?" Engie asked.

"That's a stupid question, if I still had my broom I'd hit you with it, and I don’t care if there's no giant ball around." I said as the two of us walked inside the vortex. We then appeared right back at the trailer lounge. "Phew! I'm parshed!"

"Yeah me too. How about we finally get some of dem hay bacon ya wanted!" Engie suggested.

"I said I was parshed, not hungry." I corrected him. I inserted a bit into my soda machine, and pressed the Parasprite button, but instead of the lemonlime soda, an actual parasprite pops out and eats my entire soda machine. “HEY! I did NOT pay for that you piece of garbage!” I yelled.

"What happened?" Engie asked, inserting a bit into my vending machine and then he presses C-4, which is suppose to get the Cool Ranch Doritos, but instead the whole vending machine blows up and Engie gets pushed back, and his health meter goes down. "OW!"

"Wait! Did I just see a health meter?" I asked.

"What?" Engie asked.

"Oh my Luna, I think I left the water running in the bathroom!" I freaked out.

"No... ah think we're still in the game!" Engie said.

"Impossible! We just finished the last level! If we were still in the game, we'd probably be hitching a ride on the end credits." I said. The walls in my trailer started fall over like this whole place was just a whole cardboard box, and it turns out we were in the middle of a burning Ponyville. "HOLY WIZARD OF WIZARDS!" I yelled.

"What happened to Ponyville?" Engie asked.

"Forget about Ponyville! Look! That's Carrot Top's house across the street! I did not move my trailer here recently; I left it next door to Carrot Top's house! Somepony didn't make this map right." I complained. Just then, we see a group of ponies walking towards us. They look like the Mane Six.

"Hey look! It's Twilight, Pinkie, Flutters, AppleJack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash!" I said.

"Uhhh.... ah dunno, partner." Engie said. The Mane Six started walking towards us, but they look like they have yellow and red eyes, their manes messy, and they have a big red S scar on their eyes. "Flare, who gave ya this game?"

"I just got a package from the mail. It said it was from 'An Old Friend'." I said.

"Well.... ah think yer old Doctor friend made this game and planned this all along!" Engie said.

"But when I played this, it seemed like a normal game. Why would the doctor just give me something that I love?" I asked, but then it hit me. No, really, the corrupted Fluttershy threw a squirrel with rabies at me, and it hit me. But then something popped my mind! Ow, my brain was cramping and it popped! But then, I had an idea! "Engie? Who gave you these controllers?"

"Ah made them mahself, but.... the parts to make them were delivered to me by mail." Engie said.

"Well, it looks like we got ourselves into a trap." I said.

"What do we do now?" Engie asked.

"We fight of course! I'm sure if we finish the game, we'll be outta here!" I said, but then a bunch of more corrupted pony folk joined in and were about to attack us. "On second thought.... RUN!" So we both started running as the town folk started chasing us. "What do we do?" I asked.

"Ah think ah have one idea." Engie said. When the pony folk caught up to us, Engie and I disguised ourselves as merchants and we were selling torches and pitchforks.

"Torches! Get your torches here!" I yelled. "Can't be an angry mob without torches!"

"Pitchforks! Get yer pitchforks!" Engie yelled.

"No! Get your torches! Torches are hot, they're on fire! Fire burning on the mob floor!" I yelled.

"Pitchforks can be good for stabbin and cookin’ yer pray!" Engie said.

"NO! GET YOUR TORCHES!" I yelled.

"NO! GET YER PITCHFORKS!" Engie yelled.

"TORCHES!" I yelled in Engie's face.

"PITCHFORKS!" Engie yelled in my face.

"TORCHES!"

"PITCHFORKS!"

"TORCHES!"

"PITCHFORKS!"

"COTTON CANDY!" Pinkie yelled. Engie and I just looked at eachother for a second.

"Ya know, this is really goin’ nowhere." Engie said to me.

Back with the four members of the Noble Six that aren't trapped in a game, and Spike, they were standing outside Filthy Rich's house and sat on the curve, because they couldn't get the riddle because of Consuela. "Well, what are we gonna do now?" Blaze asked. "We can't get the riddle with that maid guarding the front door."

"Well, that's a wrap. I bet Flare and Engie are missing us back home." Spike said.

"Now hold on a second, we ain't giving up yet!" Crystal said.

"That maid won't let us in. What else can we do?" Aqua asked.

"Did you find anything funny yet, Psyche?" Spike asked.

"Nope, I'm at the part where he wrote a list of the ponies he shoved garlic rolls in their mouths last Friday." Psyche said.

"C'mon guys! Let's not give up so easily! We have a game to win! Let us prove it to Flare that we can master his riddle game! And there's nothing, no obstacle, no Hispanic maid, no guard, or dog, that can stop us from winning Flare's Scavanger Hunt!" Crystal said as Spike held up an Equestrian flag and waved it in the background, and freedom music was playing on his radio.

"You know what? Crystal's right! We can do this! I mean, Flare wouldn't give us this game if he thought we couldn't do it!" Blaze said. "Would he?"

"Well, I have nothing better to do, so I'm in!" Spike said.

"Sure, why not?" Aqua said.

"This book is really starting to bore me, so sure." Psyche said.

"Alright! Here's what we're going to do...." Crystal explained the plan to them. Back at the game, we continued running from the corrupted ponies.

"How do we win this, Flare?" Engie asked.

"I have no idea! I never made it this far!" I said. "The game said there would be 10 levels. This is the 11th level."

"Are ya sure?" Engie asked.

"I kept count on all the levels, so yes I'm surely sure, Shurley Temple!" I said.

"Well, this is Mystery Scape after all. Ya said anythin’ is possible." Engie said.

"That is true, but I never thought like this." I said. The town folk still kept chasing us. The corrupted AppleJack started throwing flaming apples at us.

"AAAH! How do we lose them?" I asked.

"Quick! Head to Town Hall!" Engie instructed me as we both ran inside Town Hall and barricaded the door. The town folk tried to get in, but they couldn't.

We started breathing heavily and held the door shut. "Phew! What a work-out!" I said.

"It won't hold them for long. We need to think of somethin’." Engie said.

"I-D-K, man." I said. "I don't have the prama guide with me."

"Wait, there's a prama guide?" Engie asked.

"No and I dunno why I said that." I said.

"LET'S SHAKE UP THESE CHOCOLATE CREAMERS! BLEND THEM UP, AND SERVE THEM WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!" Pinkie yelled. The crowd cheered and continued trying to get the door opened.

"Wait! Ah got it!" Engie said.

"It better be a winning lotto ticket." I said.

"Nope, but ah got an idea." Engie said.

"Well, we're screwed anyway, so it can't get any worse." I said.

"Remember all those treasures we got from the past levels?" Engie asked.

"Yeah, we got a briefcase, an ice cream scooper, vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, whip cream, a package of cups, a box of straws, a blender, a license to make milk shakes, and a battery." I said.

"RIGHT! So put those together and what do we get?" Engie asked.

"AN ELECTRONIC CHOCOLATE CREAMY ROBOT THAT HAS A LICENCE TO BLEND IN MILKSHAKES TOGETHER THAT CARRIES A BRIEFCASE FULL OF STRAWS, HAS A CUP FOR A HAT, AND IT DRINKS JUICE FROM BATTERIES!" I said with a big smile.

Engie just looked at me really confusingly. "Uhhh, no." Engie takes the blender, opens it, he scoops out some ice cream and puts it inside, he squirts in chocolate syrup, and puts the top back on.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"What do ya think?" Engie asked.

"Is this how we make the robot?" I asked.

"We're gonna feed the townfolk some chocolate milkshakes." Engie said.

"Alright, but one problem..... it requires milk." I said. Engie thought to himself, and then he opened the briefcase and saw there was a carton of milk and a cherry inside.

"Well that solves our problem." Engie said.

“That milk was in a briefcase; it should be stale right now.” I said. He didn’t care though, so he puts the milk in the blender, closes the top, and presses the button to turn the blender on, although it wasn't turning on.

"What's going on? Why isn't it turning on?" I asked. Engie thought to himself for a second, and then turns the blender upside down, opens a little slot, and puts the battery inside. "That better not be a triple A battery because that's how we got in this mess in the first place." I said. Engie turned on the blender and it started blending.

"It's done!" Engie said excitedly. He opens the blender, pours the shakes in the cups, places some whip cream on them, and cherries on top, and then he places a straw inside each shake. "This is it, Flare! This is how we win the game!"

"This is the weirdest looking robot I've ever seen." I said. The pony folk continued on banging on the door. Suddenly, Fluttershy started charging at the door and it bursted opened.

"You're going to LOVE MEEEEEEE!" Fluttershy yelled.

"NO PROBLEMO!" I yelled. The pony folk started charging at us, but then they stopped when Engie held one of the chocolate shakes up high.

"Behold, citizens in Ponyville! Ah give you, the best chocolate shake in the history of Equestria!" Engie yelled. The pony folk just looked at eachother confusingly. "What? Don't y’all want the shakes?"

"No we just want you dead!" Rainbow Dash yelled out in the background.

"Ah..... ah don't understand! This should've worked." Engie said.

"Let me take it from here, brah!" I said. I used the remaining ingredients that Engie didn’t use to build that giant chocolate robot. It roared at the pony folk, and then they all screamed and ran away, and then the chocolate robot started chasing them out.

"But... but...." Engie studdered.

"See? SEE?! I told you it was the giant robot! But did you listen? Oooooh nooooo!" I said sarcastically. "You always think too hard. That's why you always build machines to protect you, instead of defending yourself. You see? That is why you're the lowest class. I'm smarter than you fool!" Then I started waving my head around as We No Speak Americano is heard in the background again.

"Shut up, Flare!" Engie said. We were both walking out of town hall, but then the doors slammed shut. "HEY! What gives?"

"Final boss? What do you think?" I asked. The roof opens on top of us, the wind started blowing, the sky was cloudy and lightning struck, and a giant bright light, descends from the sky.

"Red Engineer, Flare Gun, you have done well! You have finished the game." the light said.

"Aww, I wanted a final boss." I complained.

"You have done well in beating the game. You are strong, wise, and Doctor....." Right after he says doctor, his voice goes staticy. ".... the creator of this game, has one message for you: This game is a virus and now it'll spread across your trailer, hacking your security system, and I will ruin you......" Just then, the bright light started studdering, flickering, and then it disappears, and everything in the background goes blank.

"Wha.... what just happened?" Engie asked.

"Virus protection program.” I said. “My trailer mainframe is protected with Avast. It detected the virus before it could spread across my security system. The game is shut off now, and we won!" I said excitedly.

"We won, huh? But there's nothing around us! How do we get out?" Engie asked. Just then, I opened a short metal exit door that was just there in the middle of nowhere with an exit sign on top.

"We just take the exit! Duh!" I said.

"How long as that exit been there?" Engie asked.

"It's against the law of video games that if you ever make a program that makes you trapped in a video game, there is always an emergency exit!" I said.

Engie slaps himself in the head. "Ya tellin me, THIS WHOLE TIME, WE COULD HAVE JUST EXITED THE GAME BY TAKING THE EMERGANCY EXIT?!" he yelled at me.

"Hmmmm." I thought to myself, and then I nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Yer an idiot." Engie said.

"Hey, I had a fun time, and thanks to you, you're a winner!" I said.

"But you made the robot!" Engie said.

"Actually, you made the robot." I said.

"Ah don't remember makin’ it." Engie said.

"I kept bragging about the robot thing to you, so I just confused you, and you just made it!" I said.

"Well then..... ya know what? Yer right, Flare! Ah did have fun! Teamwork is the best solution to every problem! Even if you don't need to use teamwork, it wouldn't be hard. Even if ya don't need help, ah guess it wouldn't hurt if ya helped anyway." Engie said.

"I'll be sure to remember that when I write to Princess Luna." I said. Engie and I then smiled at eachother. "Well, I'm bored here, let's head on home!" He nodded, and we both entered through the exit and teleported back to our world. Back with the Scavenger Hunters, they ran out of Filthy Rich's house and jump over the fence, running away from some greyhounds that were chasing them.

"Release the hounds!" Filthy Rich yelled as he stood on his front porch, and then he clinched his hooves together and said; "Excellent!" Like what Mr. Burns says. My friends all hid in some bushes and the grayhounds just ran pass them. My friends started breathing heavily.

"I… I think we lost them." Aqua said, catching his breath.

"Well, at least we found the riddle!" Spike said as he opened it and started reading it.

"Well, what does it say?" Blaze asked.

"To win the game...." Spike started.

"To win the game this must be the last one!" Crystal said.

"... Go back to... where you started." Spike said with a glare.

"You are kidding me right?" Blaze complained.

"I'm not going back to where I was born!" Crystal freaked out.

"So let me get this straight. We just wasted our time, hunting for useless riddles, when they're just tellin us TO GO BACK TO START?!" Blazeyelled.

"How ironic, isn't it?" Aqua asked.

"C'mon! We're gonna have a word with Mr. Unfair Riddler!" Blaze angrily said. Back at the trailer, Engie and I just popped out of the TV, just like that!

"Phew! Thank Luna that's over!" Engie said.

"What? You didn't think it was fun?" I asked.

"Ah didn't say that." Engie said. "But ah was tired anyway."

"So, I guess we both can agree that this was a successful game night?" I asked.

"Ya can say that again!" Engie said.

"So, I guess we can both...." I was about to repeat.

"Not really." he said.

"All this time, I still didn't get mah bacon!" I complained. Just then, my friends suddenly marched on inside my trailer and angrily walked into the lounge to meet with us. "Oh sup brahs? How was the scavenger hunt?"

"It was awesome!" Crystal said happily.

"You think that was funny, Flare?! Giving us a riddle game like that?!" Blaze angrily asked. "We nearly became dog food, we were attacked by the Cakes, and chickens...."

".... and I was hit on the head by a baby multiple times!" Crystal yelled.

"Yeah, dude! Why did you get us to play that game? If we would've known that the riddle after Filthy Rich's house tells us to come back here, then we would've just grabbed that other riddle and just skip a load of difficult riddles!" Blaze complained.

"Who said anything about the Filthy Rich riddle taking you back here?" I asked.

"The riddle specifically says to go back where we started!" Blaze said.

“Why did you make us play that stupid game anyway?" Spike asked.

"For the record: I did NOT force you to play it, you had the choice to- IS THAT MY DIARY, PSYCHE?!" I yelled at him. Psyche immediately closed it and hid it behind his back.

"Well, uhhh.... yes." Psyche said. “I could’ve said no but there’s no fooling.”

"HOW COULD YOU STEAL MY DIARY?!" I asked angrily.

"I'm sorry! It was just so funny, and entertaining!" Psyche said.

"Why would you hide it behind your back and say you do have it?” Crystal asked him.

"Wait, you found it entertaining?" I asked.

"Well, yeah." Psyche said.

"I found it entertaining too! It was pretty funny, Flare!" Spike said.

"Pinkie liked it too, and Opal!" Psyche said.

"Well then.... if I would've known my diary would be so amusing, maybe I wouldn've kept it a secret." I said.

"So how was your day staying in and playing video games, guys?" Blaze asked.

"Well.... let's just say.... we won't be playin’ that game ever again." Engie said, and winked at me.

"Why are you winking at me?" I asked him. "I loved that game! I'm totally playing it again!"

"So what was the next riddle?" Aqua asked.

"It was actually the riddle to take you all back home, where your prize is. I got you each some prizes." I said.

"Well, that was some game night! I'm gonna get myself a snack!" Crystal said. She inserts a bit into my vending machine, presses C-4, and guess what happens? No, it doesn't explode, what gives you that idea? Pound Cake pops out and whacks Crystal in the head with a frying pan........

..... and then the vending machine explodes.

The Fund Fun Funfair

View Online

It was a nice cool fall day in Ponyville, and we're so very close to winter! Our story starts off at Sweet Apple Acres. AppleJack and Big McIntosh (or Macintosh, whichever you prefer) were just finishing their apple bucking before lunch time. Granny Smith rang a bell and called them in because she just finished making lunch.

"Yoo hoo! Lunch time!" Granny Smith yelled.

“Yoohoo, where?” the Kool Aid guy freaked out.

“Now, now, Kool Aid, there’s no Yoohoo here. Ah was just callin’ mah family.” Granny Smith corrected him.

“Oh good because I keep telling her, we’re just friends.” Kool Aid guy said.

"Woo wee! Ah am starvin!" AppleJack said. "Aren't ya starvin, big bro?"

"Do ah have to give the same response?" he complained. Big Mac and AJ went inside so they can have their lunch.

"Golly! What have you made today, Granny Smith?" AppleJack asked.

"Y’all will love it! It's mah world famous cabbage soup!" she said, putting bowls of cabbage soup on the table. AJ made a disgusting look on her face.

"What is this stuff?" Apple Bloom asked, grossed out.

"Cabbage soup. The cheapest of all meals, they say! That, and bread." Granny Smith said.

"Where did y’all hear that?" Apple Bloom asked.

"From a movie. Ah think it was called Barley and the Caramel Factory, ah think." Granny Smith said.

"Uhh, Granny Smith? Not to question yer cookin, but it lacks apple in here." AppleJack said.

"Sorry, puttin cakes. After the news, ah'm tryin to save on all the resources we can get." Granny Smith said sadly.

"What news?" AppleJack asked, but then Apple Bloom jumped on top of AJ.

"WHAT NEWS?!" Apple Bloom yelled. Granny Smith sighed and gave AJ a letter.

"What is this?" Apple Bloom asked.

"A letter." AppleJack said.

"Ah know that." Apple Bloom said sarcastically. "Ah mean, what's it for?" AppleJack read the letter, and then she became a bit surprised on what she just read.

"WELL SQUIRT LEMON JUICE IN MAH EYE AND CALL ME A LEMONHEAD!" AppleJack yelled. "WE'RE IN DEBT!" Big Mac spit out his cabbage soup all over Apple Bloom in shock.

Apple Bloom glared at Big Mac, and then took a towel to wipe her face. "What does in debt mean, AppleJack?" Apple Bloom asked her.

"It means we owe money to the bank. We're broke, and ah dunno how!" AppleJack said confusingly.

"We usually have a big budget of loot. How can it all be gone?" Granny Smith asked.

"Big McIntosh? Do you know anything about this?" AppleJack asked him. Big Mac suddenly had a flashback of himself with Cheerilee at the park. They were flirting and giggling.

"Close yer eyes." Big Mac instructed her.

"Oh. Got me a present, Big Mac?" Cheerilee asked in excitement. Big Mac put a diamond bracelet on her right wrist. “Do I open now?”

"Eeyup." he said. Cheerilee opened her eyes and then she gasped after she saw that bracelet on her wrist.

"Oh Mac! This is wonderful!" she said with tears of joy.

"Eeyup." Big Mac said, and then Cheerilee gave him a big hug.

"Thank you, thank you!" she cried. When the flashback ended, Big Mac gave AppleJack her answer.

"Nnnope." he lied.

"What are we gonna do, AppleJack? Winter is just two weeks away!" Apple Bloom said with worry. "How we gonna get enough money to pay off our debts?"

"Ah dunno, sugarcube." AppleJack said to her. "Ah just don't know, but we'll have to do somethin’!"

"Ehh, we gonna get thrown out to the street like a couple of bums that spend all their money on ciders." Granny Smith said sadly.

"No we aren't!" AppleJack said. "Ah'll think of a way to get us some money. Ah just have to talk it out with mah friends. Maybe they'll know what to do."

“Are you sure, dear? Do ah need to remind you of last time you asked yer friends for help with the farm?” Granny Smith asked.

A cutaway shows AppleJack being stuck between a wooden fence. “Uh, hello? Anypony? Ah need some help here!” AppleJack called out. Rainbow Dash flew down to see what the fuss was about.

“Hey AppleJack, what’s u-“ I’m sure you can guess that Dashie stopped there so she can just laugh at her.

“Yeah, ha-ha, very funny, Rainbow. Can ya me out please?” AppleJack asked.

“Of course, of course, but first…” Rainbow takes out a jar of paint and a brush, and then AppleJack starts to feel a little tingle coming from her behind. “Whoa-nelly!” Rainbow just continued laughing as she painted a picture of a face on AppleJack’s behind.

“STOP DOIN’ WHAT YER DOIN’ AND HELP ME, GOSH DARNIT!” AppleJack yelled.

“Ok, ok, calm your birds girl!” Rainbow advised her. The cutaway ends there. Yeah this is the first cutaway in this chapter. The last one with Big Mac’s flashback doesn’t count because nothing funny happened there.

So AppleJack met up with her friends Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie over at my shop a few minutes later to discuss her problems. Why my shop out of all others though? There are other restaurants in town. Well it’s good they came to my shop, because of what’s about to happen.

"So let me get this straight, your family's in debt?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"That's terrible, AppleJack! Just tragic!" Fluttershy said.

"Ah know, girls! Ah know!" AppleJack said. "Ah mean, winter's just a couple of weeks away, and there's no way ah'll get enough money to get us through the season.”

"Don't give up, AppleJack! You can help out over at Sugarcube Corner! We'd love to have you cook one of those famous brownies for us again!" Pinkie said excitedly.

"I wouldn't do that, Pinkie. You remember what happened last time." Rainbow Dash warmed her.

"NOPE! Not a thing!" Pinkie said with a smile.

"Thanks, Pinkie, but ah don't think that's gonna be enough to get my family through the season." AppleJack said.

"AppleJack, darling, you overworry too much! I'll give you my supply of gems. No problem at all!" Rarity offered.

"No thank you, Rarity. Ya need those gems for yer dresses." AppleJack said.

"I'm sure with Spike's help, I can get more!" Rarity said.

"Thanks for yer offer, but ah'm afraid ah cannot accept that." AppleJack said.

"Maybe you can bribe ponies for money! I do it all the time and it works like a charm!" Rainbow Dash suggested.

"What? No way, Rainbow Dash! Ah ain't no briber. Besides, that's lyin’, it's against mah element." AppleJack said. "AH'M DOOMED I TELL YA! DOOMED!"

"AppleJack, the first thing you should do is calm down." Twilight advised her. AppleJack took a deep breath, and did so.

"Sorry, Twilight. Ah'm just… a bit on edge." AppleJack said.

"Like this?" Pinkie asked, standing on the edge of the table, and then she falls over and lands on one of my waitresses, Crèmepop.

"No, not like that at all." AppleJack said.

"Sorry about that, Crèmepop.” Twilight said, helping her up.

"Put that pony on a leash or something!" Crèmepop advised angrily, trying to wipe the spaghetti sauce off her apron.

"Hey, don't talk to Pinkie like that!" Rainbow yelled at her face.

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?" Crèmepop asked angrily at Rainbow's face, and they growled at eachother.

"GIRLS, please!" I yelled, breaking them up. “You’re spooking all the paying customers! The unpaying ones I don’t care for though.”

"It was an accident though. We’re sorry.” Twilight said.

"Ugh! Sorry about that." Rainbow said with an attitude. Crèmepop then stuck her tongue out at her. "WHY I OUTTA!" she yelled.

"Rainbow, calm down! Crèmey lives a tough life, I'm trying to help her. She'll learn, I promise." I said.

"I hope so." Rainbow said with an attitude, sitting back down. “What’s wrong with her anyways?”

“She just came back to civilization after a long time in Everfree. Give her time to relearn her social life.” I said.

“I don’t understand how she’d survive that long in a place like that.” Flutters said.

“Why does everypony think Everfree is so dangerous? We never had one tragic accident there EVER.” Crème said.

"Go back to work, Crèmey.” I instructed her. She took the spilled food and went back into the kitchen. "Sorry about that, sistas."

"Its okay, Flare." Twilight said.

"Wow, Flare, you were right. She does look alot like me." Fluttershy said.

"I-K-R?!” I said excitedly.

"Pardon me, Flare, but… what does that mean?" Flutters asked.

"I know right?" I said.

"I know you know; that's why I'm asking." Flutters said.

"I know; that's what it means." I said.

"Oh, sorry to be a burden, Flare." she said.

"No worries, Flutters. So what seems to be the problem?" I asked.

"AppleJack's in debt and she's afraid she'll lose her farm because she won't make enough money to make it through winter." Rarity said.

"She's not alone. I never was in snow before. It doesn't snow in Mareami and we never had Winter Wrap-Up; we just get ready for the northern birds. Listen to my Welcome to Mareami song on YouTube, you'll know what I'm saying." I said. Seriously, that video does exist.

"Ah'm gonna be bankrupt, we're gonna be sold out into the street, and ah dunno what to do." AppleJack said.

"There, there, AppleJack." Twilight said, trying to help her feel better. "Worrying about it will just make it worse. I'm sure we'll think of something."

"Well, you can try bribing." I suggested.

"No way!" AppleJack said.

"I already suggested that." Rainbow Dash said to me.

"Ooo, ooo, ooo! I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!" Pinkie cried.

"What is it?" Rarity asked.

"One time, when I was little, I went to a festival and I won the pie eating contest! Isn't that great? I love festivals! Festivals are fun!" Pinkie cried in excitement.

Just then, Rarity said confusingly, "But, Pinkie dear, what does that gotta do with...."

"Wait a second, Rare." I interrupted her. "I think Pink's maybe on to something."

"On what?" Rarity asked.

"On the table! Duh!" Pinkie said, standing on the edge of the table again, then lost her balance and fell on Crème again. Creme growled at her and Pinkie gave her an embarrassing smile and a squee.

"The festival idea!" I said. "That's it! A Summer Festival!"

"A summer?" Twilight asked. "But we're at the end of fa..."

"FALL FESTIVAL!" I yelled. "I said it first!"

"Ooooook." Twilight said.

"Ah dunno how a Fall Festival is gonna help mah family and our farm." AppleJack said.

"Actually, AppleJack, that's a very good idea!" Twilight said.

"See, Jackie? Light agrees with me, don't you Light?" I asked.

"I agree that you come up with weird nicknames, dear." Rarity said to me.

"Then it's settled! We'll make a Fall Festival and the money we make at the festival will all go to AppleJack and her family!" I suggested.

"Aw, Flare, ya'll don't have to do that." AppleJack said with a smile.

"Oh it's no big deal! I’ve always wanted to host something big like a festival. Besides, without Sweet Apple Acres, who’s gonna supply me the apples for my apple-crisp pizzas?” I ASKED.

"But wouldn't the festival cost money?" Rainbow asked.

"Not if the town pays for it." I said.

"That's still costing money." Rainbow corrected me.

"I'll talk to our boring, non-funny, too serious mayor about the festival. I have no doubt she'll agree with me." I said.

"Hey, our mayor is not non-funny or too-serious!" Pinkie corrected me.

"Yeah she is." I corrected her. Pinkie was silent for a moment.

"Yeah you're right." Pinkie said upsettingly. So I went over to town hall to talk to the mayor about this Fall Festival idea; it took some silly talking, but eventually she agreed on doing it. She called in a town meeting to discuss it. Derpy flew around town, throwing down flyers of the Fall Festival.

"Town meeting! Town meeting this afternoon at 3! Fall Festival! Town meeting this afternoon at 3! Fall Festival!" Derpy called out. "Town meeting! This afternoon at...." She then she crashed into a tree.

"George, George, George of the jungle!" Crystal Iceblast sang. So later that day, all the ponies gathered around the town square to hear the news of the festival.

"You sure this festival thing is gonna work, Twilight?" AppleJack asked her.

"Absolutely! Has Flare ever failed us before?" Twilight asked.

"Now that ya mention it." Aqua said.

"Fillies and gentlecolts! Citizens of Ponyville!" the mayor began. "I have some great news about a new event and fundraiser that's gonna take place in our very town next week. You know what it is?"

"Yeah, it's a Fall Festival! The flyers all say that!" Engineer called out sarcastically.

"Yes, it's a Fall Festival!" the mayor said. "But it's not an ordinary fall festival! I will like to bring out our Festival's Directior, Crimson Flare Gun, to explain what's planned!" Everypony cheered as I walked up onto the stand with the microphone for my speech.

"Sup brahs and sistas?" I started. "The name is Flare Gun!"

"Yeah, the mayor told us already!" Engie called out.

"Thanks, Engineer." I said. "Now then, I would...."

"YOUR WELCOME!" Engie called out. I was silent for a sec.

"Anyways." I continued. "I'll be hosting a Fall Festival, and...."

"STOP SAYIN THE OBVIOUS!" Engie called out.

"QUIT SHOUTING!" I shouted back.

"OW! That's a microphone yer yellin in, we can hear ya loud and clear!" Engie yelled.

"Engie, please." Aqua whispered as she elbowed him.

"Thank you, Aqua." I said. "Anyways..."

"WHY DOES AQUA HAVE TO GET ALL THE CREDIT?!" Engie yelled out.

"Alright, let's get him outta here." I said. "Now, I have lots of friends in Ponyville. A few of them went to my shop earlier today. One of them, you may know her, is AppleJack. Granddaughter of Grandma Smith, who founded Sweet Apple Arces!"

"DARN TOOTIN!" Granny Smith yelled. "This Grandma Smith sure sounds like an interesting pony!" Just then everypony laughed. "Why is everypony laugin?"

"At you! Yer Grandma Smith!" Apple Bloom reminded her.

"Um, ah'm Granny Smith, not Grandma Smith, there's a difference, pumpkin." Granny Smith corrected her as she patted her on the head.

"The Apple family is in debt right now, and we need your help to save them! Without Sweet Apple Acres, we'll be appleless." I said. "But, I came up with the brilliant plan...."

"Umm, I came up with the plan, Flare!" Pinkie corrected me and laughed.

"Right, Pinkie came up with the plan to start up a Fall Festival, and help the Apples get the money they need to survive through winter." I said. "We got alot of plans! So all this week, me and the help of the citizens of Ponyville, and certain ponies from outside the town, we can make this event the best outta them all! You'll see! YOU'LL ALL SEE!" then I started laughing evilly as lightning struck in the background. I stopped after I heard the lightning. "Whoa! How did that happen?" Rainbow Dash was behind me with a dark cloud and she chuckled.

“So if you have any donations ahead of time, or have any game or ride ideas, feel free to visit my shop! I have a donation box ready to go and a suggestion box." I said. "But don't get confused with the employee suggestion box." Over at my shop, my employee, Lyra was putting in a suggestion in the Fair Suggestion box, but wasn't aware of it, and my friend Mynx did the same for the employee suggestion box. Back at town square, I yelled, "So without further ado- heh do… let the Festival set up... GET TO THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE..... and begin!" The pony folk cheered. And so at this point, the set-up of the Fall Festival has begun. I was in my shop, setting up a certain game I've been wanting to play for years! Blaze and Rainbow Dash came into my shop to see how I was doing.

"Hey Flare!" Blaze and Rainbow said.

"Hey Rainbow! Hey Blaz Moldfart, LAWL!" I teased.

"Blaz Moldfart? Really?" Blaze asked feeling annoyed; Rainbow was chucking, and then eventually started laughing really hard. "You think this is funny, Dashie?"

"Funny? This is hilarious!" Rainbow yelled, and laughed again. "Blaz Moldfart! CLASSIC!"

"I knew she'd like it!" I said.

"Hey what's that you're making?" Blaze asked, looking at my wheel with faces of some of the pony folk in town.

"This? Oh this is a game I'm setting up for the fair!" I said. "It shows the faces of me, you, Rainbow, Twilight, Spike, Fluttershy, AppleJack, Pinkie, Rarity, Crystal, Engineer, Psyche, Aqua, Adventure Blade, Zecora, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Crèmepop, and even the princesses Luna and Celestia!"

"So this is a game about our closings, right?" Blaze asked.

"Yeah! Remember those dares I asked you about yesterday?" I asked.

"Yeah." Blaze nodded.

"Well this is the ultimate daring game: I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!" I said.

"Whoa! This is so awesome!" Rainbow said.

"You may say that now, but wait until you start playing." I said. "Wanna give it a try, Blaze?"

"Oh, no, I couldn't. But thanks!" Blaze said.

"Aw c'mon, Blaze! You can do it!" I said.

"No, thanks, I don't want to." Blaze said.

"Aww, you a chicken, brah? Hmm? You a chicken?" I teased in a squeaky voice.

"I'm not a chicken! I just don't wanna do it!" Blaze said.

"Yeah you are, Blaze! You're totally a chicken!" Rainbow teased.

"Aw c'mon Rainbow, you taking his side?" Blaze asked.

"C'mon, Blaze! What harm can it do?" Rainbow asked.

"Unless you're chicken?" I teased.

"Shut up, man!" Blaze said to me.

"WAAAH WAAAAH! CHICKEN! WAAAAH WAAAAH!" I teased.

"That's not chicken, that's baby." Blaze corrected me.

"I'll kiss Flare if you don't do it." Rainbow said mischievously at Blaze.

"WHAT?! Don't you dare!" Blaze yelled.

"TRY ME!" Rainbow said to him with an evil smile. Blaze started sweating and got really nervous; she started getting close to me.

"Wow you're serious. Alright I'll do it." Blaze said.

"I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!" I yelled, then I spun the wheel and it landed on Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, huh? Not bad. Give me your worst!" Blaze said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"It's Fluttershy! What worse can it do?" Blaze asked.

"Okee dokee." I said, and then I read her card as Blaze just bravely stood there, ready for anything. "Give Angel a bath."

"No problem!" he said. "I can handle that!"

"Are you sure you can handle that?" I asked.

"Angel's only a bunny. What worse can he do?" Blaze asked.

"Then go ahead to her hous, and take the dare!" I said.

"Will do!" Blaze said as he then he flew out of my shop. Rainbow and I both chuckled.

"You weren't really gonna kiss me, were you?" I asked Rainbow.

"What? No way!" Rainbow said.

"I figured. I wouldn't mind though." I said.

"Yeah, me neither." Rainbow said. "Although, if you beat Blaze and I in a race, I'd totally kiss you.

"That can be arranged." I said mischievously. So Blaze went over to Fluttershy's house to take the dare. He knocked on Fluttershy’s door and once she answered, he explained why he was there.

"Oh, a-are you sure you can handle this dare, Blaze?" Fluttershy asked nervously.

"Relax, Fluttershy! I'm Blaz Moldfart, I can handle anything!" he said bravely. "Wait... what did I say?"

"Well... okay." Fluttershy said as she then called for Angel. Angel hopped towards Flutters and she picked him up. "I hope you know what you're doing, Blaze."

"Just gimmie the bunny." Blaze instructed her.

"Oh, okay." she said, giving Angel to Blaze.

"Heya, Angel! Let's have a little fun! It's called bathtime!" Blaze said to him. Just then Angel gasped. So Blaze started bathing Angel, but... you don't wanna know about all that went on in there. Meanwhile, I was at another festival booth, setting it up. Psyche was walking by drinking a slushy.

"What's going on, Flare?" Psyche asked.

"All the light switches around the world!" I said.

"Uh huh." Psyche said. "What's this booth for?"

"It's for the 'Throw the bottle to the pile of balls’ game." I said.

"You mean ‘throw the ball into a pile of bottles’ game?" Psyche asked.

"No, I mean the Throw the bottle to the pile of balls game!" I corrected him.

"I... I don't understand." Psyche said confusingly.

"Exactly. You're not suppose to." I said as I threw a bottle at his head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Psyche asked angrily.

"Don't blame me, blame Aqua." I said.

"Aqua? I saw you throw that bottle at me!" Psyche said.

"Or that's what whoever threw the bottle at you wants you to think." I said.

"Yeah, I know that's not true." Psyche said.

"Here, I'll get you a slushy." I said, as I then picked up the slushy he dropped on the ground and gave it to him. "Here."

"Oh, umm... thanks." he said.

"No prob, buddy!" I said.

"Why do I even bother?" Psyche asked himself. Time went on and on, and more and more was getting done for the Fall Festival. Rarity walks over to the stage that was just built.

“Oooo!” she said. She walks over to the ‘Ponyville Idol’ signup spot and she smiles wide. “AN IDOL SHOW?! Sweet Celestia, I have to sign up for this!” Rarity takes a pen using her magic and was just about to sign it, but I stopped her.

“And what do you think you’re doing, Rarity?” I asked, smiling at her.

“What do you think? I’m signing up for this fabulous singing contest! It’s a good way for me to shine.” Rarity said as she waved her mane.

“Sorry, sista. I forbid you for singing up.” I said.

“Excuse me?” Rarity asked confusingly.

“You heard me. I’m forbidding you for signing yourself up for the contest.” I said

“B-but…. But, Flare!?” Rarity whined.

”Yes, Rare?” I asked.

“You know how much I adore talent shows! Why are you forbidding me to sing?” she asked.

”Because, I’m already making you one of the judges, duh!” I said.

“Wait, a judge?” Rarity asked.

”Do I have to repeat myself?” I asked.

”EEEEEEEEEEE!” Rarity squeaked, but then she calmed herself down right away and cleared her throat. “That won’t be necessary, Flare. I’d be honored to be a judge on Ponyville Idol.”

“Good! We’ll get started Saturday night. Meet me here at 6 PM Saturday and I’ll tell ya what you need to do.” I said.

“No need, Flare. I know how the judges on Equestrian Idol are. I’m sure there won’t be a problem for Ponyville Idol!” Rarity said.

“To be a huge jerk right?” I asked.

“Of course!” Rarity said as she then trotted away, but when she was out of range from me, she started squeaking again, skipping around, and smiling real hard. “I’M GONNA BE JUDGE ON PONYVILLE IDOL! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Rarity yelled back stage; Derpy, Golden Harvest, and Octavia all looked at her confusingly because they were back there. Rarity just gave them an embarrassing smile and ran away. Meanwhile, Engie was on break. He sat down on a park bench and took out a Twinkie. I have a message for you humans: OUR TWINKIE FACTORIES ARE STILL IN BUSINESS! So ha ha ha! Engie looked around to see if anypony was around and he was just about to eat it, but then he saw Crystal right beside him, and he just glared at her. Crystal then laid on the ground and held on to her hind legs.

”Hey, Engie?” she said.

”WHAT DO YOU WANT, CRYSTAL?!” Engie asked her weirdly.

“I look like a hushpuppy!” Crystal said. Engie just glared at her. “Hey!” Engie twitches. “Hey, Engie? You know sometimes I like to curve up in a big ball, and pretend I’m hushpuppy!”

“AH’M ENJOYIN A TREAT, CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled.

“Hey Engie? Whatcha doing?” Crystal asked.

”CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled.

Crystal then was just laying on the ground with her face down. Engie then lifted the treat up to his mouth slowly, but just before he ate it, Crystal interrupted him again. “WAIT, Engie! Hey!”

”CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled.

”Hey!” Crystal said inside a pile of hay.

“AH’M ENJOYIN A TREAT, CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled.

”C-can you share?” Crystal asked. Engie just growls and takes a bite out of his twinke. Crystal lies on the ground straight and says, “Hey Engie? Don’t I look like a big carrot?”

“CRYSTAL?!” Engie yelled.

Crystal holds onto her legs again and says, “Hey…. Engie?”

“CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled.

“Don’t I look like a big pea?” Crystal asked.

“NOT RIGHT NOW CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled.

“What are you guys doing?” Derpy asked. Then Engie takes a water gun and squirts her. “AAAH! WATER! I’m melting, melting! Oh what a world, what a world!” Derpy cries out and falls on the ground slowly.

“Hey Engie?” Crystal asked.

“CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled. “NOT RIGHT NOW, CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!” Engie gets up and starts limping away. “CRYSTAL! AH’M ENJOYIN’ A TREAT CRYSTAL!”

“Fine!” Crystal said angrily, she then she gets up and starts hopping away, but then she knocks into a trash can.

“CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! AH’M ENJOYIN A TREAT, CRYSTAL!” Engie yelled from the distance. Derpy rolls on the ground, still crying out and pretending she’s melting. Over at my pizza shop, I kept donation jar on the counter, wanting donations for the Festival.

“Come one, come all! We need donations for the Fall Festival, so we can use the festival to donate for Sweet Apple Acres!” I yelled out. “Don’t worry, I’m not stealing this money so I can buy myself a bee-bee gun!”

“What’s up, Flare?” my sister Water asked.

“KEEP AWAY FROM THE MONEY!” I yelled as I shot her in the shoulder with a bee-bee gun.

“OW!” Water yelled. “YOU JUST SHOT ME! You shot your own sister! How could you?!”

“It was self-defense.” I said.

“I WASN’T EVEN ATTACKING YOU, YOU JERK!” Water yelled.

“You were about to steal the money, I don’t trust you.” I said.

“WELL FLARE… you’re… you’re too good.” Water said.

“Too GREAT to be more exact.” I said.

“A Fall Festival sounds really fun!” my friend Rainer Hooftscastle said.

“Will there be a petting zoo?” his son Regen Hooftscastle asked.
“Of course, my little friend!” I said, rubbing his mane. “My friend Fluttershy is going to take control of that!”

”Sounds like fun!” Regen said excitedly.

“Who cares how it sounds like? Will it be fun is the question, like to-be or not to-be.” I said.

“Well, we’ll like to donate.” Rainer said.

“Excellent! But just drop the money in; don’t put your hoof inside.” I instructed him as I loaded my bee-bee gun.

Later, it was dusk outside, and Crèmepop was giving out the jobs of who’s going to be volunteering at the Festival.

“There you go! There you go! There you go!” Crème said as she continued giving out flyers.

“I’m doing an air show with the Wonderbolts? AWESOME!” Rainbow Dash yelled in excitement; just then Blaze walks over to her, all scratched up. “What happened to you, Blaze?”

“It turns out Angel is a fussy little bunny.” Blaze said.

”Flare’s dare game too much for you?” Rainbow asked.

“HAY NO! I’m going to do better than anypony else in the dare game! I’m going to win that prize!” Blaze said.

”Wait, what prize?” Rainbow asked.

“The one that does the most dares gets an awesome prize, Flare says.” Blaze said.

“Oh? Well good luck to you, Blaze!” Rainbow nods.

“I won’t need it, babe.” Blaze said mischievously.

“Well Rarity, it turns out we’re judging Ponyville Idol together!” Spike said to her.

“That’s wonderful, Spike! I hope you can handle it.” Rarity said.

“Duh! I can handle anything!” Spike said.

Rarity giggles. “I know you can, dear! I know you can.” Spike blushes.

“Uhh, Twilight? You think I can handle this petting zoo thing?” Fluttershy asks her.

“Of course you can, Fluttershy! You’re great with animals! You were made for this job! It’s your destiny!” Twilight said.

“B-but, I didn’t know the petting zoo included a lion, or a tiger, or a bear.” Fluttershy said.

“Oh my!” Twilight said in shock.

“Oh my is right!” Fluttershy said.

“But I thought those types of animals wouldn’t bother you?” Twilight asked.

“It’s not that those animals are dangerous I’m afraid of, they’re easy to tame. They’re just a lot of hard work in getting them to behave.” Flutters said.

”Well, Flare says if you have a complaint, you should talk to him about it.” Twilight said.

“B-but, I wouldn’t want to disappoint him. I’m sure if Flare thinks I can do this, then I wouldn’t want to let him down.” Fluttershy said with a smile.

“Umm, I hope you’re sure about this.” Twilight said, feeling worried for her.

“Don’t worry, Twilight! I better get to work then.” Fluttershy said as she then flies away. Twilight thinks to herself for a sec about if Fluttershy is okay with this.

“Hey, Flare?” AppleJack asks me.

“Sup, Jackie?” I asked.

”Ah just wanted to say thanks for all yer doin for mah family. But ya don’t need to do this.” AppleJack said.

“But your life is in jeopardy, baby!” I said. I then sang, “Ooooo ooo ooo oooooooo!”

“Ah know, but ya could think of somethin’ smaller?” AppleJack asked.

”Well, the only other thing would be to win the lotto, but what are the chances for that?” I asked.

“Good point. Thank ya again, Flare!” AppleJack said, hugging me.

“Hey, no need to thank me yet. Let’s see if we get all those donations.” I said.

“Ah hope so. Maybe we can have enough to replace that old roof, or replace Big Mac’s old plow, or replace Granny Smith’s old hip!” AppleJack said.

“Or replace that old kitchen!” I suggested.

“But Flare, we did that already.” AppleJack corrected me.

“Oh, how about replacing that old swimming pool?” I asked.

“We don’t have a swimmin’ pool.” AppleJack corrected me.

“Not your swimming pool, the town’s pool!” I said.

“But that pool looks fine.” AppleJack said.

“I know, but I wanted to make room for a water slide.” I said. “Oh, and B-T-W, why do you need to replace that old barn? I mean, how many times did that barn get destroyed and you had to rebuild it? I mean the barn was already replaced many times after parasprites ate it, after Rainbow Dash destroyed it, Pinkie ruined the rebuilding of it, Discord flooded it, Twilight turned it to life after a spell going horribly wrong, your family destroyed it after the cart ride during your family reunion, Engineer’s friend Pyro lit on fire after that little accident at his family reunion, Pac-Man ate it after I created him when I had the Alicorn Amulet, Trixie grew a giant orange in it after she had the Alicorn Amulet, a group of monkeys tore it apart after Fluttershy opened that school for apes, the Cutie Mark Crusaders repainted it purple while trying to get their painting cutie marks, Crystal repainted it green at the time she was color-blind, Derpy repainted it red during the time you wanted the barn to be a different color and then Derpy accidentally destroyed the roof, Queen Chrysalis used the barn as a nesting ground when the Changeling kingdom was under attack by Fluffle-ponies and she used it again when the Pac-Man I created was attacking her hive, Psyche destroyed it just by being born, and Aqua…..”

“Alright, alright, ah get it, Flare!” AppleJack complained.

The next day, it was Saturday! Day One: It was time for the grand opening ceremony of the Fall Festival! Everypony in town was gathered outside town hall for the cutting of the ribbon. “Fillies and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today for the grand opening ceremony of the first ever, Ponyville Fall Festival!” the mayor said. Everypony cheered. “I hope we all have lots of fun! This Festival is really important! The Apple family in Sweet Apple Acres are in bank dept right now and we need to help our main food source of our town to pay that debt, and be able to keep the farm, and be able to survive through winter! Now, our host of the Fall Festival: Flare Gun of Flare’s Pizza Parlor, would like to say a few words.”

I walk up to the stage and discussed my speech for the ponies in Ponyville. “Brahs and sistas, I have a few words to say before we get started…… HAVE FUN! This Festival is now opened! ACTIVATE! AC-ACTIVATE!” I yell out, pushing a button on the remote I’m holding, and all the festival stands light up and activate. Everypony cheers out and goes around to the festival and starts playing games. Everypony has been having a great time with all the games; we have at the fair, including a balloon popping game, an RC race game, and even a shoot-the-target game. Ponies even go see Madam Pinkie at her booth to discuss their futures.

“Hello, and welcome to the booth of Madam Pinkie!” Pinkie says, talking all psychic.

“Madam Pinkie, I need your help.” My friend Mynx says.

”Ah yes, Mr. Mynx! I can see your future now! I see….. I see you at the market, at a tomato stand.” Pinkie says looking in her crystal ball. “I see you…. Waiting in line…. You are having a fight with another costumer for the last grape tomato!”

”Oh jeez!” Mynx says. “But what about my relationship?”

“Your relationship?” Pinkie asked.

”Yes, my relationship with my special somepony, whose name is Spark Note, and her parents don’t seem to like me that much. Will this affect my relationship with her Madam Pinkie?” Mynx asked.

“I see…. I see you, and Spark, breaking…..”

Mynx gasped. “NOOOOOOOOO!” he yelled. “I don’t want to break up with her! I love her too much! She’s so pretty, and funny, and….”

“Uhh, who said anything about breaking up you silly goose?” Pinkie asks and giggles.

“What?” Mynx asks confusingly.

“I was going to say you were going to break her….”

”HEART?! NO! NEVER!” Mynx yelled.

“…. Her favorite drinking glass. Gosh, you over react too much!” Pinkie says and giggles.

“Oh…. Well then….. thank you Madam Pinkie!” Mynx said, feeling relieved.

“Oh, and you’re going to make her cry.” Pinkie added, and then Mynx started screaming.

“C’mon, Thundy!” Crystal said holding Black Thunder’s hoof running inside the hall of mirrors.

“Alright, Crystal! Alright! Sheesh!” Thunder said. They both ran inside the Hall of Mirrors. Thunder looks through a mirror that makes him look really fat.

“Whoa! I really need to lay off the brownies!” Thunder commented.

“No silly! You’re fine! It’s just the mystery of the mirror!” Crystal pointed uot. “Like, look at this one! It makes you look really skinny!” Crystal pulls Thunder in front of a mirror that makes him look skinny.

“Wow! It looks like I’m a walking stick!” Thunder said.

“Hey, Thundy, check this out!” Crystal heads over to a mirror that makes her look like she has a big head and big eyes. “Greetings, Earthlings! We come in peace!” Crystal said speaking like an alien. “We are from France.” Thunder and Crystal both laugh. “Hey look at this mirror! It makes me look like I’m a puppet; and this one makes me look like a piece of broccoli, and this makes me look like a human from Canterlot High, and this one is so mysterious that it doesn’t even show me looking any different! That’s the mystery of the mirror, Thundy!”

“Oh snap.” Thunder said.

“Indeed.” Crystal nodded.

“Step right up, everypony! Use this hammer to whack this thing right here, make the thing ring the bell, and win a stuffed elephant!” a pony by the name of Nightshade said, hosting the ring a bell game. “How about you, little filly? You want to try it?”

“I can handle anything!” Rainbow’s little sister Candy Cotton says as she takes the hammer.

“Now careful, it might be a little hard for you.” Nightshade said.

“Shut up! I said I can handle anything!” Candy yelled at him.

“Alright, alright. I’m just saying if you need any help- GAAAH!” Nightshade yelled after Candy slammed the hammer right onto Note’s hoof.

“SHUT UP! I’m trying to concentrate!” Candy yelled at him.

“That really hurt!” Nightshade yelled. Candy lifts the hammer and bangs real hard on the thing, and the little thing goes up and hits the bell. DING!

“HA! IN YOUR FACES!” Candy taunted at everypony. “I AM AWESOME!”

“Woo! That’s my sister! AWESOME! 20% COOLNESS!” Rainbow cheered at her, giving her a hoof-bump.

“What? A filly can do it? I bet you 20 bits I could ring that bell the first try!” Nightshade said.

“I’ll take that bet.” His friend (and my Facebook poking buddy) Adventure Blade said.

“You’re on!” Nightshade said giving him a hoof-bump. Nightshade takes the hammer, smashes on the thing, and the thing goes up but doesn’t ring the bell. “WHAT THE HAY?!”

“HA! You suck!” Candy taunted at him.

“I agree with the filly.” Adventure Blade said mischievously at Nightshade with his hoof out.

“Shut up, Addie!” Nightshade said angrily, paying him the 20 bits.

“Wanna bet again?” Adventure Blade asked.

“YOU’RE ON!” Nightshade said, hoof-bumping him.

Candy and Rainbow both laughed. “You know what, sis? Flare is right. You are gaining weight.” Candy said, poking at her stomach.

”But I haven’t even eaten any junk food in weeks!” Rainbow said.

“Fillies and gentlecolts….. this is Ponyville Idol!” Ryan Seacrest said, hosting the show. “We have our three judges: Rarity, Spike the dragon, and Princess Luna! So let’s get this party started!” The American Idol theme song plays in the background. Ryan walked over to me and said upsettingly, “Don’t make me say ‘let’s get this party started’ again, alright? Let me do my own thing.”

“Fine; thanks for guest starring.” I said.

“Isn’t this exciting? WE’RE JUDGES OF PONYVILLE IDOL! EEEEEEE!” Rarity squeed.

“Indeed.” Luna said.

“Hey, I’m just here cause she’s here.” Spike whispered to Luna, pointing at Rarity.

“Our first contestant: Diamond Tiara!” Rarity said. Diamond Tiara comes on stage and starts singing Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani. Then the judges started judging. “Yeah I heard better singing from a pig!” Rarity teased. “Oh wait, she is a pig!” Rarity started laughing.

“HA! I second that!” Spike said, laughing along.

“How rude!” Luna said.

“Curse you all! I’m going to be at the top one day! I’m auditioning for Equestrian Idol, and I’m going to win that! I’LL SHOW YOU ALL!” Diamond Tiara yelled. “YOU HERE ME! I’LL SHOW YOU ALL!”

“Security?” Rarity said facehoofing yourself.

“I’LL BE THE BEST SINGING SENSTATION YOU’VE EVER SEEN! YOU’LL SEE!” Diamond yelled until she was taken off stage by a couple of security guards. “YOU’LL ALL SEE!”

“Nopony likes a soar loser.” Rarity said and laughed, and Spike laughed along, and Luna just sat there and sighed.

“Hello, and welcome to the booth of Madam Pinkie!” Pinkie said back at her booth.

“Yeah, I was just wondering….. am I ever going to find a special somepony?” Psyche asked.

“Of course you are silly!” Pinkie said. “You just have to put your heart into it!”

“I know that, I was just wondering if you knew.” Psyche said.

“Of course I do! I’m Madam Pinkie!” she said.

“I’m here to steal your job.” Psyche said.

Pinkie laughed. “Psyche you’re so silly!” she said and then pulled a lever which ejected Psyche out of the tent. “Thank you for coming to see Madam Pinkie!” Meanwhile with Fluttershy, she was gathering the wild animals in the petting zoo, and Twilight was hiding behind a bush, watching over to see if she was safe. “There you go my friends! I hope you feel comfortable!” Fluttershy said, smiling at them. One of the tigers then roars real loud at her face. Twilight then springs into action. She uses magic to get some rope, and uses it to tie up the tiger’s mouth. Then Twilight tackles the tiger and she stands on top of it.

”Don’t worry, Fluttershy. You’re safe!” Twilight said.

“But Twilight, that poor tiger just stepped on a thorn.” Fluttershy said, showing her the thorn on the tiger’s paw.

“Oh…. I see.” Twilight said, removing the rope from the tiger’s mouth. “Sorry about that.” The tiger then roars at Twilight.

“Uh, no no!” Fluttershy said, rubbing the tiger’s back. “Twilight was mistaken. Don’t be mad at her. I promise she won’t do it again. Right, Twilight?”

”Of course I do.” Twilight said. The tiger then smiles and relaxes while Fluttershy rubs his back.

“Thank you for trying to protect me though, Twilight!” Flutters said with a smile.

“You’re welcome, Fluttershy! If you need me at all, I’ll be around!” Twilight said, trotting away, but then she hops back into the bushes and continues to keep watch over her.

Meanwhile back at Ponyville Idol, “Our next contestant is none other than the local moron: Snails!” Rarity said.

Snails came on stage and said, “Hello judges! Do you know which way the bathroom is?”

“Uhh, it’s right over there.” Luna said, pointing right.

“Thanks!” Snails says and runs off stage.

Meanwhile back with Thunder and Crystal, “Oh Thundy, look! The Tunnel of Love!” Crystal said as she held onto one of Thunder’s hooves.

”Well, what are we doing standing around? Let’s go in!” Thunder suggested. Crystal laughed as she pulled Thunder on the ride.

“Please keep your hooves, head, and wings inside the vehicle at all times.” Spark Note said, operating the ride.

“Thanks!” Crystal said. The ride started, and they rode inside the tunnel. Thunder yawned, and put his hoof around Crystal, but then Crystal screamed. “AAAH! SNAKE! SNAKE ON MY SHOULDER!” Crystal slaps Thunder’s hoof away and he lets go of her.

“Isn’t this place romantic, Crystal?” Thunder asked, with a seductive look on his eyes.

“It would, if I knew what that word meant.” Crystal said smiling. Thunder leans on the side of the cart, but then he had an idea. He put some fresh spray in his mouth and leaned over and tried to kiss Crystal, but then it turns out he was kissing a plush spider. Thunder screamed once he saw it. “You like it, Thundy? I won it at the ‘throw the bottle at the ball’ game.”

“You mean the ‘throw the ball in the bottle’ game?” Thunder asked correcting her.

“No I mean the ‘throw the bottle at the ball’ game!” Crystal said and squeed. Thunder just laughed along with her. Meanwhile, over at the arcade tent, Snips and Truffle Shuffle were versing eachother at the wrestling game.

“Take that, Snips!” Truffle Shuffle taunted

“Ha, in your dreams! Watch this!” Snips said. “Wait, what?”

“Yay! I win!” Truffle Shuffle cheered.

“Hey no fair! You cheated!” Snips complained.

”No I didn’t.” Truffle Shuffle corrected him.

“Yes you did!”

”No I didn’t!

”Yes you did!”

”No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did- INFINITY!” Snips yelled.

“No I didn’t- infinity plus one.” Truffle Shuffle said smirking at him.

“Yes I did- infinity plus infinity! HA!” Snips taunted.

“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s no such number.” Truffle Shuffle corrected him. “I don’t understand though. I thought arcade games bring in chicks?”

“No, I said you win chicks at this game. Little toy chicks at the prize counter.” Snips corrected him.. “The only game you can win the chicks as in fillies is the dancing game.” All the fillies were over at the dancing game, rooting for Featherweight who was a dancing machine in that game! Over at the Ponyville Idol contest, Silver Spoon was singing Fillies Just Wanna Have Fun on stage.

“Fancy singing, Silver Spoon! You’re in!” Rarity said.

“I second that!” Spike said.

“Sure, why not?” Luna said.

“I’m in? YAY! Diamond Tiara did you hear that?!” Silver Spoon cried out happily. Diamond Tiara’s jaw just dropped on the ground in shock.

“You are kidding me! I don’t get in, but Silver Spoon is? THAT IS SO NOT FAIR! WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER!” Diamond complained.

“Sorry, Diamond. You just weren’t good enough.” Luna said.

“THAT’S NOT FAIR!” Diamond cried out like a spoiled brat.

“But, I thought you’d be happy for me?” Silver Spoon asked upsettingly.

“But how can you do this to me? We were supposed to go to the top together!” Diamond whined.

“I’m sorry, Diamond.” Silver said.

“Drop out of the contest!” Diamond ordered her.

“What? No way! This is my time to shine!” Silver said. “The only time I ever sing is when I sing for Pinkie Pie.”

“Drop out, or we’re not friends anymore!” Diamond said angrily.

“C’mon, Diamond, don’t be like that!” Silver said.

“I guess I have my answer.” Diamond said angrily and walked away.

“FINE THEN! Who needs you anyway? I was using you to be popular anyway!” Silver yelled at her and slammed her microphone on the ground and marched away.

“Wow, what a drama queen!” Rarity said, rolling her eyes. Just then, Luna and Spike both looked at her weirdly. “Oh don’t give me that look, I haven’t cried in days.” And so, first day of the Fall Festival finally ended. I was just closing up my shop and began to walk home. AppleJack happened to be there and she ran to me.

“Howdy, Flare!” she said.

“Huh? Oh hey, AppleJack.” I said, sounding tired.

”Woo! What a day, huh sugarcube?” she asked.

“Y-yeah, sure.” I said.

“Ah have to give ya some credit, partner! This Fall Festival idea was a darn-tootin idea!” she said.

“Uh huh.” I said, sounding more and more tired.

“Uhh, ya alright sugarcube?” AppleJack asked me, sounding concerned.

“Y-yeah, I’m….. fine.” I yawned.

”Y’all don’t look fine. Ya look tiresome.” AppleJack said, feeling my head. “Wow, it feels like yer burnin’ up with a fever.”

“I’m fine, AppleJack. I just wanna go home!” I said to her rudely.

“Whoa! Sorry!” she said.

I sighed. “Sigh… it’s alright, AppleJack. It was a long day. I need to get some sleep. At least we got you up to 1,050 bits!” I said.

“That’s great! Maybe ah can get Granny Smith that surgery she needed.” AppleJack said.

“No, no! Nopony touches the money!” I said.

“Beg yer pardon? But that money’s for us.” AppleJack reminded me.

“I know, but you can’t collect the money until after the festival. Sorry.” I said.

“It’s not a problem, Flare. Have a good night!” she said.

“You too, sista!” I said as I limped on home. Day Two of the Festival has arrived. I got up really early that morning so I can get things started. Everypony came at the Festival at 6:30 that morning and started playing more games!

“Hello, and welcome to the tent of Madam Pinkie!” Pinkie said.

”Hello, Madam Pinkie! May I ask you a question?” Crystal asked her.

“Sure!” Pinkie said.

“Great, thank you!” Crystal said and walked out and then Thunder came in.

”Welcome to the tent of Madam Pinkie!” Pinkie said.

“Is the spark between me and Crystal going to stay forever?” Thunder asked.

“Of course not silly! That would be too shocking for you!” Pinkie said.

“Oh….. I see.” Thunder said sadly. “Well…. Thank you.” He sadly walks out of the tent.

“What did I say?” Pinkie asked herself. “I just said that spark won’t stay between him and Crystal. If that spark was there, they’d both be electrocuted! Duh!”

Meanwhile over at the dare wheel, “Time for another session of: I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!” I said as I spun the wheel, and it lands on Rarity’s. “Blaze Goldheart, your dare, is to bathe Rarity’s cat Opal!”

“You kidding me right?” Blaze asked, facehoofing himself.

”Wow! What were the odds?” Rainbow said and laughed.

“Do it, Blaze!” I instructed him. “Or do you think you can’t handle it?”

“Are you kidding, brah? I can handle anything! You’ll see!” Blaze said as he flew over to Rarity’s place to bathe her cat.

“I sure feel sorry for him; he won’t stop.” Rainbow said.

“Hey, this is his choice, Rainbow. If he wants to keep doing the dares, he’s only hurting himself.” I said.

Rainbow laughed. “Yep!”

“By the way, you’re gaining more weight then usual.” I said to her.

“I AM NOT!” she yelled. “I don’t know how this happening!”

Meanwhile over at Ponyville Idol, “Next, we have a duet with Red Engineer, and Apple Fritter singing Filliesana Stallion, Missifilly Mare.” Rarity said. Filliesana Stallion, Missifilly Mare is ponified version of Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man, just a notice. So Engie and Apple Fritter walked up to stage with a guitar and a violin and start singing the song. I don’t need to sing the lyrics, but Conway Twitty sings that song. Once they finished, everypony cheered.

“Fabulous! Absolutely fabulous!” Rarity cheered as all the judges clap their hooves.

“I totally agree, and I’m not just saying that because Rarity says so, I really liked that!” Spike said.

“Yeeee haw!” Engie and Apple Fritter both yelled out and danced around. “Ah’m glad ah met ya at the weddin’ Apple Fritter. We make a great team!”

“Ah think so, Engie.” Apple Fritter nodded. Just then her cell phone starts vibrating. She takes out her phone and checks it. “Uh oh. Duty calls. Catch ya later!” Apple Fritter then runs off.

“Why is she always in such a hurry? Is she tryin’ to avoid me or something?” Engie asked. If you forgot what she does, I mentioned it before in a past chapter, but if you forgot, you’ll know later.

Meanwhile, at the trainstation, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance came out of one the train cars along with some Crystal ponies. Twilight notices them come by.

“SHINING! CADANCE!” Twilight yelled out. She runs over to Cadance and does the ‘Sunshine, sunshine’ thing with her, and then she hugs them both.

“How ya doin, Twiley?” Shining asked.

”Great! What are you two doing here?” Twilight asked.

“We came to check out this Fall Festival, and we also thought we can let you borrow some of the stands that we used at the Crystal Fair!” Cadance said, as a few Crystal ponies carried out some of the festival booths.

“Wow! That was really thoughtful of you, Cadance!” Twilight said. “But I have to see if it’s okay with the mayor.”

“Of course you have my permission! The more the merrier!” the mayor said, carrying a couple of balloons that are tied to her torso, and eating some cotton candy.

“That’s great! Thank you, mayor!” Cadance said excitingly.

“So, you have any recommendations for what we should do here?” Shining asked Twilight.

“Well there is….” Before Twilight could finish, she spots Fluttershy flossing a lion’s teeth. “Excuse me, big brother, I have to check on my friend. Look for Flare, he might know.”

”Hey, we’re just here to have fun right?” Shining asks. Twilight nods, and runs over behind the bushes to check on Fluttershy again. Over at another booth is Zecora’s Stories, which is where Zecora tells ancient stories of her past. Some of the really small fillies and colts around town gathered around to hear one of Zecora’s stories. I gotta say, they are legend.

“Come along fillies and colts, gather around! Let me tell you a story of a colt who moved to another town.” Zecora started the story. “In West Fillydelphia, born and raised, the playground where I spent most of my days. Me sitting around, relaxing all cool, and shooting some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of ponies, they were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mama got scared, she said, ‘You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Cloudsdale’.” Just then Zecora started dancing once on Prince of Clousdale starts playing in the background.

Meanwhile, the Cutie Mark Crusaders walked through town, eating some cotton candy. “Gosh, this Festival is really fun!” Sweetie Belle said.

”Yeah, I’ll say! You should’ve seen Black Thunder and me at the Extreme Sports Contest! We nailed it with my scooter and his skateboard!” Scootaloo said.

“Ah can’t believe Flare did all this for mah family! He’s so good to us!” Apple Bloom said. “But then again, he could be just doin’ it for the attention like he always does, in that case… well… thank him anyway. At least the money goes to us so ah don’t really care why he does it.”

“But how did your family get in debt in the first place?” Sweetie asked.

”Yeah, your family is loaded!” Scoots said.

“Ah dunno. Probably the taxes are goin’ a little too high.” Apple Bloom assumed. “Which ah don’t understand since we pretty much own Ponyville.”

“Really? Because I thought the shops around Ponyville were either owned by their… you know… owners, or Filthy Rich. Do the Apples own everything?” Scoots asked.

“No we don’t OWN Ponyville itself. We just own the land.” Apple Bloom corrected her.

“And yet you’re in debt, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon still pick on us. Why not just kick them out of our land?” Scoots suggested.

“Tried it, but mah name isn’t on the ownership papers. Not until mah whole family dies at least.” Apple Bloom said as she takes out a hatchet and laughed mischievously.

“APPLE BLOOM!” Sweetie and Scoots cried out.

“What? Ah won this rubber hatchet on the ‘throw the balloons into the darts’ game.” Apple Bloom said as she bangs Scootaloo on the head with the rubber hatchet and the hatchet just made a squeaky sound. “But this still doesn’t cover our debt problem.”

“Well, I’m sure whatever happens, this festival will help you get your money back, guaranteed!” Sweetie said. Big Mac was listening to their conversation without them noticing, and he looks down really upsettingly.

“What have ah done?” Big Mac asked himself in his head.

Back at the Ponyville Idol stand, Rarity started slamming her head on the counter. “Rarity, calm down!” Luna said.

“How can I calm down? This job is so stressful! Out of all my life for judging in this contest, I never seen more losers than this!”

”But Rarity, you just started this job yesterday.” Luna corrected her.

“And besides, look how good we’re doing! We already got four ponies that are going to make it in the finals! Engineer and Apple Fritter, Silver Spoon, Derpy, and Pipsqueak!” Spike said.

“That’s five ponies, Spike.” Luna corrected him.

“Engineer and Apple Fritter count as one.” Spike said.

“But everypony else! EVERYPONY ELSE IS A LOSER! I NEVER SEEN SO MANY!” Rarity yelled and groaned.

“Wow, and you said Diamond Tiara was the drama queen, look how you’re acting now!” Spike said.

Rarity growls at Spike, but then she calmed down quickly and said, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Hey, can ya guys wrap this up?” Aqua asked the judges. “Flare is startin’ the Family Feud contest in a half-hour and he needs this stage.”

Over at the animal farm, Fluttershy takes a microphone, and was about to say an announcement. “Umm, uhh, is this thing on?” Fluttershy asked as everypony starts looking at her. “Oh… umm…. H-hi.” Fluttershy asks shyly. “W-wel… welcome to…. EEP!” Fluttershy couldn’t handle the stage fright so she runs into the bushes where Twilight is. “Oh, hi Twilight.”

“What’s wrong, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked.

“I can’t do it, Twilight! I’m too shy!” Flutters said.

“Here, you want me to host the pet race for you?” Twilight asked.

“I-if you want.” Flutters said.

“No problem, I can handle this!” Twilight said as Flutters pushes Twilight out of the bushes and onto the stage.

”Whoa! Oh, um, hello everypony! Welcome to the Ponyville Fall Festival’s Pet Race!” Twilight started.

“Does she have to put ‘Ponyville Fall Festivall’ before ‘pet race’? We all know what this festival is already.” Rainbow whispered to Psyche.

“I find it interesting that out of all ponies in the audience, you chose me to whisper to. That… that means a lot.” Psyche smiled as he teared up and then he blows his nose on Rainbow Dash’s wing.

“EW!” Rainbow complained.

“Oh sorry! I thought that was my wing!” Psyche freaked out. “Wait I don’t use my wings to blow my nose in. Wow such an idiotic move. I have to stop hanging with Crystal all the time.”

“Our contestants today: We have AppleJack’s dog Winona, Fluttershy’s bunny Angel, Pinkie Pie’s alligator Gummy, Rainbow Dash’s pet tortoise Tank, my pet owl Owlowiscious, Blaze Goldheart’s pet phoenix Apollo, and one of Flare’s pet fish Darrel!” Twilight said.

“Alright Winona, ah gotta go compete on Family Feud right now. Make mama proud!” AppleJack said to her dog. Winona barked and licked her.

“You’re fast, you’re furious, you’re awesome, and the tortoise always wins the race! So go get ‘em Tank!” Rainbow says to Tank. Tank nods slowly and puts on his goggles but slowly. Very slowly.

“GO GUMMY GO! GO GUMMY GO!” Pinkie yells, wearing a cheerleader outfit, rooting for her pet alligator.

“Do what you can, Angel. Just…. Don’t get yourself hurt.” Fluttershy advises him.

“You know what to do Owlowiscious!” Twilight says to him

”Who?” Owlowsicious said.

“I’m not Spike, don’t do that to me.” Twilight instructed him.

Just then, Blaze, who is all scratched up, walks over to his pet phoenix Apollo to wish him luck with the race. “What happened to you, master?” Apollo asks him.

“It turns out Rarity’s cat was worse to wash then Fluttershy’s bunny.” Blaze said.

“Alright Darrel! You’re the fastest one out of all of us, so you can do this!” my other fish Rainbow says to him.

”I’m nervous. How am I going to get to the finish line?” Darrel asked.

“It’s quite simple – just follow the tube until you reach the finish line.” Dorthey explains.

“I think Flare’s crazy. How can a fish, let alone a black molly win a pet race?” Pearl asked.

“Hey, if Flare thinks Darrel can do it, he can do it!” Piddles said.

“Hey Darrel, if you win a food reward, can you share it?” Yoyo asks him.

“If it’s any reward, I’ll share it!” Darrel said. “Sharing is caring!”

“Just do your best, Darrel. We’ll be rooting for you!” Rainbow said.

“Hey, may the best pet win.” Apollo says, holding his wing out for Darrel. Darrel jumps out of the tube and gives Apollo a kiss on the cheek; Apollo then wipes it.

“Good luck to you, Apollo!” Rainbow says to him.

“He’s totally going to win this.” Pearl said.

“Yeah, that’s who we want to win right?” Piddles asked.

“No, I meant Apollo.” Pearl corrected him.

“Don’t be like that Pearl, we have complete faith in Darrel! I know he’ll win the prize of unlimited amount of fish flakes!” Yoyo said.

“You don’t even know what the prize is, Yoyo.” Pearl corrected him.

“Well good luck with the race. I’m just gonna catch some zees because that’s what albino catfish do all day if they’re not hungry.” Piddles said as he puts on a pink blindfold and lays down inside my portable fish tank. Yes I do have a portable fish tank, and despite the fact that fish don’t really survive if you transport them so much, I’m just gonna make an excuse for that logical error and say… Magic… snort, snort.

“ON YOUR MARK….” Twilight yells, holding a green flag. All the pets get in position. “GET SET….. GREEN LIGHT!” All the pets except for Darrel start racing to the finish line. Apollo was leading, followed by Angel, Winona, Owlowiscious and Tank. Owlowiscious passes by Apollo, and then Owlowiscious sticks his tongue out at him. Apollo glares at Owlowiscious, and tries to pass him, but then Angel leads the way. Winona shoves Angel out of the way and leads, then Owlowiscious flies beside him. Winona growls at Owlowiscious and tries to go faster. Owlowiscious then carries a stick on one of his feet. Winona looks at the stick, Owlowiscious swings it around and then throws it out of the race track. Winona runs out of the race track, and runs into Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s brownie stall.

“OH MY GOODNESS!” Mrs. Cakes yelled.

“MY BROWNIES!” Mr. Cakes yelled as Winona nibbles on the stick. Owlowiscious then leads the race.

“Nopony was going to buy those brownies anyway.” Engie implied as he walked by their stand.

“And Winona was out of the race it seems, and it looks like my number one assistant is leading the race!” Twilight said.

”WHAT?! I’m the number one assistant!” Spike yelled. Spike then enters the race track and tackles Owlowiscious. It was tied between Apollo and Angel.

“DARREL! What are you doing?!” Dorthey yelled out because Darrel was still in the starting line.

“Wow, even the turtle past you! EPIC FAIL!” Yoyo said as he facefinned himself.

“That’s a tortoise, Piddles, not a turtle.” Pearl corrected him.

“What’s going on Darrel? Why aren’t you going?” Rainbow asked.

“Twilight did not say go.” Darrel said crossing his fins.

”But green light means go.” Rainbow corrected him.

“Doesn’t matter. The rules specifically say that all pets go when the starter says ‘GO’! This isn’t Red Light, Green Light.” Darrel corrected him. Rainbow then sighs and shakes his head.

“Will you all be quiet? I’m still sleeping.” Piddles complained.

“NOW TANK!” Rainbow Dash yells out. She then hits a button on a remote and a couple of rockets appear on Tank’s shell, and he turbos on fast towards the finish line. Tank passes Angel and Apollo, and then suddenly Tank makes it to the finish line before any other pet. Apollo came in second, followed by Angel.

”YES! AWESOME! I knew you can do it!” Rainbow Dash cheered for Tank, and then she nuzzles him.

“And the winner is: DARREL!” Twilight yells out.

“WHAT?!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“WHAT?!” all my fish yelled at the same time.

“WHAT?!” Apollo yelled but in a soft voice since he doesn’t yell.

"Uhh, Twilight, this seems to be some sort of mistake. Tank won the race." Rainbow said.

"But I didn't say go." Twilight corrected her. "I said green light and the rules specifically say, the race starts on 'GO'."

"TOLD YA!" Darrel said to the other fish.

"Well, we stand corrected." Dorthey said.

"How is that fair?" Pearl asked.

"What? You didn't want Darrel to win, Pearl?" Yoyo asked.

"Of course I did! It's just..... mind-blowing." Pearl said.

"Nuff said." Piddles said as he continued sleeping.

"WOOOO HOO!" Darrel cheered out. "G-G everypet! G-G!"

“Every pet? Wow…” Angel Bunny said.

“It’s just dumb replacing the word ‘everypony’ with some other word.” Winona said.

“I second that!” Tank yelled from the distance. Meanwhile, Big Mac was walking to the stage for Family Feud, but before he can go up, Cheerilee stops him.

"Hey, Mac!" Cheerilee called out. "What's going on? Everything okay?"

"Eeeeyup." he said.

"You're about to play Family Feud?" Cheerilee asked.

"Eeeyup." Big Mac said.

"Oh, alright. I want to talk to you during the break, alright?" Cheerilee asked. Big Mac nods as he walks up to the stage. I was getting ready to host Family Feud, and the show was starting, and to think… I used to have two chapters in Book 1 all about Family Feud, but everyone thought it was boring so I had to make Spice of Life and From Birthdays to Pageants. Ehhh… oh well. I like these new chapters better anyway.

"It's time to plaaaaaaay Family Feud!" Spike said in the background. "Our returning champs: The Apple Family! Playing against the..... Rarity's family! And here's the star of our show: The one who obeys the Magic Laws, Mr. Flaaaaaaaare Gun!" Everypony cheers as I walk out onto stage wearing a tuxedo.

"Hello everypony! Welcome to the Family Feud! We have our returning champs: The Apple Family!" I said, walking over to AppleJack and her family. "How ya doin, AppleJack? Enjoying the festival?"

"Ah sure am, Flare!" AppleJack said. Big Mac was feeling a little nervous about something. He looks down and sees Cheerilee waving at him and he waves back.

"Why don't you re-introduce me to your family?" I asked.

"Well, this is mah sister Apple Bloom, mah brother Big Mac-" AppleJack explained.

"Oh- EEEYUP!" Big Mac yelled interrupting her. Big Mac was feeling really nervous.

Everypony started looking at him concernedly, AppleJack didn’t really care so she continued introducing her family. "Mah Granny Smith, and mah cousin Apple Fritter!”

"If ah have to leave durin’ the show, does that count as disqualified?” Apple Fritter asked.

"Alright, now let's meet Rarity's family!" I said as I walked on over to her side. "Welcome to the show Rarity; how are you enjoying the festival?" Meanwhile, AppleJack checks on Big Mac because she knew something was wrong.

"Big Mac? Y'all alright, brother?" AppleJack whispered.

"Huh? Oh… eeyup!” Big Mac said.

"Yer actin’ jumpier then a bullfrog at an incest convention." AppleJack whispered. “Are ya sure y’all alright?”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac whispered.

"Okay, but if ya need to get off, we can get Babs to replace ya." AppleJack whispered.

"BABS IS HERE?!" Apple Bloom yelled. Everypony then stopped and looked at her.

"Uh, yeah, ah didn't mean to ruin the surprise." AppleJack said as she chuckled embarrassingly.

"Alllllllrighty then, anyway, LET'S BEGIN THE FEUD!” I yelled. No worries, we’re skipping the feud, I don’t wanna bore ya. During the intermission break, Big Mac steps off stage to talk to Cheerilee.

"There you are, Big Mac! Had fun?” she asked.

“Mmhm.” Big Mac nodded.

“Wow, something other than a ‘eeyup’. Don’t I feel special!” Cheerilee blushed and giggled. “There's something I want to show you." Cheerilee takes Big Mac’s hoof and headed on over to the arcade over at the prize booth. "You see that right there?" Cheerilee points to a giant blue teddy bear.

"Eeeeyup." Big Mac said.

"I want that. I've been wanting that for a while." Cheerilee said. "I need your help. When you're done with the feud, can you please do me a favor and help me win that? It costs 25,000 tickets but with a pony of your talents, I'm sure you won't fail, won't you Big Mac?" Cheerilee had a seductive look on her eyes, and she flutters her eyes at him.

"Nnn-na-na-na-na-na-na-nnope." he said.

"Good! That's all I wanted. Now you better get back to the Feud, they're waiting for you." Cheerilee advised him. So after the feud, nothing much more happened that day. Oh you wanna know who won? Well too bad, I’ll keep you in suspen…. Actually, I’ll be nice. The Apples won the prize. They needed the bits so… I actually assisted them, which was against the rules but I’m a nice pony despite what some of you may think.

Day Three.... Day Four..... Day Five.... and now we're at Day Six of the Fall Festival! The CMCs were walking around the streets with Babs. "So Babs, ya enjoyin the Festival so far?" Apple Bloom asked.

"You know it! I can't believe we never had a festival like this in Manehatten!" Babs said excitedly.

"Ponyville's really an eventful town, cuz!" Apple Bloom said.

Babs chuckled. "I'm sure it is, cuz!" Over at the arcade tent, Big Mac looked around; it looked like he was up to something, and he was carrying the jar of the thousand bits from the Family Feud game that his family won. Ok I admit it; this is why I told you who won the game. I’m not that kind, I admit that. So Big Mac started playing the arcade games to help Cheerilee win that big blue teddy bear. He’d do anything for her; he loves her. Sorry Fluttermac supporters.

"Hello welcome to the tent of Madam Pinkie!” Pinkie said. “I see you.... throwing the biggest, baddest, greatest party in all of Equestria!" Pinkie says to herself while looking in a mirror.

Meanwhile over at Equestrian Idol: "So our finalests are: Silver Spoon, Derpy, Engineer and Apple Fritter, Pipsqueak, the Cutie Mark Crusdaers, and Twilight." Luna said.

"Can't wait until the final two!" Spike said. The festival was still going on as planned. Day Six.... Day Seven.... Day Eight! Two more days until the festival is over. Big Mac was walking out of the arcade carrying the big teddy bear for Cheerilee.
"Hey, big brother!" AppleJack said walking towards him. "Where have ya been? Ah haven't seen ya in days!" Big Mac reveals his face to AJ and it looks like he hasn't showered, brushed his teeth, or shaved in days. "Yikes! Big Mac how long have ya been in that arcade for?"

“Uhh…” Big Mac studdered.

"No matter." AppleJack said smiling at him. "Nice teddy bear! Apple Bloom's been wanting to win that for ages! Yer such a great brother, sugarcube! We wouldn've come this far without ya." she said as she gave her brother a big hug. Big Mac was REALLY feeling nervous now because he blown all his money on the arcade.

"Oh no! Oh no! HAS ANYPONY SEEN A JAR OF BITS?!" I yelled out on a megaphone. "A JAR OF BITS FROM ONE OF THE TICKET STANDS IS MISSING! IF ANYPONY HAS SEEN IT, PLEASE REPORT IT IMMEDIATLY!"

"Flare what happened?" AppleJack asked.

"Your finances are gone!" I said to AppleJack through the megaphone, and I was just a few feet from her.

"WHAT?!" AppleJack yelled.

"I dunno what happened! I kept it secure; where did it go?" I asked through the megaphone.

"Ah dunno; big bro, ya know what happened to it?" AppleJack asked him

"Umm… eeeyu…nnnn…eeyu….nnnn…” Big Mac stuttered. Everypony started looking at him funny.

“Wow Big Mac is so upset right now, he can’t even talk.” I said through the megaphone still.

“WILL YA SHUT THAT CONTRAPTION OFF?!” AppleJack yelled. I did so and placed it down. AppleJack started to tear up. "That money was our only hope! Ah promised Granny Smith that we'd get the money before winter, and now that it's gone..... our… our farm's gonna go out of business, and we'll be movin’ onto the streets." she covered her face with her hat and started to cry.

"Don't give up, sista. We still have a whole day tomorrow! I promise we'll do all we can to earn back the money, I promise." I said as I tried to comfort AppleJack. Big Mac felt really bad about what he did because what none of us know is that Big Mac gambled away all the money just to impress Cheerilee. Every single bit that we earned from the festival has been gambled away at the arcade just for a big blue teddy bear. You may think that arcade machines don’t cost this much money, but what Cheerilee mistakes herself is that Big Mac is not as good in arcade games as she thinks.

Meanwhile, Twilight continued watching over Fluttershy, unaware that there was somepony hanging over her shoulder. "Having fun, Twilight Sparkle?" Celestia asked her.

"Princess Celestia?!" Twilight cried.

"What? You didn't think I was going to miss out on the Fall Festival, was I?" Celestia asked.

"No, I guess not." Twilight said.

"Why are you wasting your time making sure Fluttershy doesn't get attacked by any of the animals?" Celestia asked.

"I'm just making sure she's safe." Twilight said.

"You're missing out on all the fun. Look at her; she hasn't been attacked by one animal at all. Fluttershy knows what she's doing, Twilight." Celestia explained.

"Yeah.... I suppose you're right." Twilight agreed.

"Go on, Twilight. If she's in trouble, the local security will make sure she's safe." Celestia said.

"The local security?" Twilight asked, but to her surprise, she saw security guards everywhere in town, including a couple near the petting zoo.

"Flare Gun knows what he's doing, Twilight. Now go have some fun! The Festival is ending tomorrow." Celestia said.

"WAIT! How long was I here for?" Twilight asked in shock.

"Almost throughout the whole fair." Celestia said.

"WOW! I completely missed out!" Twilight cried as she ran out to have some fun, before it was too late. I continued looking around for the money, when suddenly....

“Hey.” Adventure Blade said to me.

“Huh? Oh hey, Keith. What? No Flaaaaaaaare?” I asked.

“No. I don’t want to do that every single time I see you.” He said.

“Ok. So anyways, I’m looking for the lost festival budget for the Apple family. I think it’s been stolen.” I said.

“Oh.” Addie said.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“What? You don’t care?” I asked.

“I do care.” Addie said.

“So you should head over to my shop later. I got new sodas for my machine.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“Yeah, I got Peepsi, I got Sierra Entertainment Mist, Eh? Dry ginger ale, Knock’s Root Beer, and of course the unpopular of all sodas – Slept Club Soda.” I explained.

“Oh.” He said.

“Yeah, and even Slept Ginger Ale!” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“Hey do you like it if I call you Keith?” I asked.

“I’d rather you call me Addie, but call me what you want.” He said.

“I think I’ll call you Addie more often, and I’ll just say ‘Keith’ when I’m shouting your name, or if I’m poking you on Facebook.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

"You wanna do what?" Doctor Whooves asked as ponies lined up in front of his TARDIS.

"We want to take a ride on your magical phone booth! It looks really fun!" Skyblaze said.

"Well, first of all, it's not really magic, it's complex alien technology that would take me forever to explain." the Doctor said. "Secondly, are you sure you'd like to do that? It's awfully dangerous, also, I already have a companion presently... and the TARDIS is not an 'it', she's a 'she'."

“Such feminism.” The TARDIS said.

“WHOA!” Skyblaze yelled. “Did your phone booth just talk?”

“No that’s silly. The TARDIS speaks her own language. A language you wouldn’t understand.” The Doctor said.

“But… I just heard her say-“ Skyblaze said.

“No you didn’t.” the Doctor interrupted him.

“But I just did-“ Skyblaze said.

“Nope.” The Doctor interrupted again.

“But I-“

“Nope.”

“Eh-“

“Nope.”

The Eighth day of the Festival has ended. Big Mac was asleep at home and he was about to go into dreamland. He was standing right outside Sweet Apple Acres, but it was different, the farm was owned by the Flim Flam Brothers. The barn was gone and replaced by a factory and it was snowing outside. Big Mac was really frightened. He wondered what happened to his family, so he ran into town and looked around. Ponyville was different; it turned into a city.

Big Mac was shocked. Everything he once knew has changed before his eyes. He was looking around for his family until eventually he found AppleJack and Apple Bloom sitting down in a dark alley. AppleJack was lying on the ground, with lots of apple cider bottles. "C'mon AppleJack! Don't give up!" Apple Bloom begged sadly to her with tears in her eyes.

"It's over, sugarcube. Our business.... our hope..... even Granny Smith has moved on." AppleJack said. Big Mac gasped.

"We're not gonna do what she does! We ain't workin’ for the Flim Flam Brothers! That is not how we make our apple products!" Apple Bloom said, and then she coughs, and passes out.

"Rest, Apple Bloom.... rest. Your pain will go away very soon." AppleJack said putting her blanket around her. A tear fell from AppleJack's eye. "Why Big Mac? Why did ya betray us for that.... teacher?"

"HUH?!” Big Mac yelled.

"Because of you Big Mac, we lost everythin’, and now.... ah don't think we can afford the cure for Apple Bloom's disease. Ah guess that's why she never got her cutie mark. She wouldn't need it." AppleJack said sadly.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" Big Mac yelled. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!" But then he suddenly woke up from his bed and saw everything was still around. Ponyville hasn’t changed a bit, and he still had Sweet Apple Arces. He knew there was still time to fix everything. Time to fix his mistakes. Wow, Big Mac’s gonna save the day this time. I’ve always wanted to see that! Day Nine.... the final day of the Fall Festival has arrived. Big Mac ran into town and saw AppleJack talking to my sister Water.

"Oh howdy, bro!" AppleJack said.

"Hey Big Mac!" Water said.

"So listen, Water, ah'm sorry to hear about Flare." AppleJack said. Big Mac was a bit curious to what happened to me.

“Huh?” Big Mac asked.

"Flare was up all night looking for the lost money. He still can't find it." AppleJack said to him.

"He's still going around town looking for it. So I decided to take over until he does." Water said.

“Worse mistake he’s ever made.” Psyche teased as he walked by.

“I can see why my friends like to pick on Psyche the most.” Water said.

"Look how much time Flare is putting in for us. He really wants us to stay in business. Now, big bro, that is a true friend right there!" AppleJack said.

"I really feel sorry for him though. He'll go mad if he doesn't find the money. I hope you can live through winter if he doesn't find the money." Water said.

"Ah'm sure we'll be fine, sugarcube. It can't be any worse." AppleJack said. I then suddenly popped out of the trash bin and started making weird noises to my friend Wind Racer. “Are those fightin’ words?” she asked me angrily. Just then, Apple Bloom suddenly starts coughing and runs over to AppleJack.

“Apple Bloom? Apple Bloom, what’s wrong?” AppleJack asked.

“Ah’ve been chokin’ a lot lately. Ah have no idea though. Ah think ah’m breakin’ in a fever.” Apple Bloom said as she held her head sickly.

“Hello, my friends! Hello, hello!” a familiar voice said in the background, and it turned out to be Flim. “We overheard some interesting news, didn’t we, my brother of mine?”

“We should did, and we are quiet excited for this opportunity to take back our farm.” Flam said.

“It was never yer farm in the first place!” AppleJack yelled angrily at them.

“Actually it was for a few mere seconds.” Twilight corrected her.

“Yeah thanks for that, Twilight.” AppleJack said sarcastically.

“Hello there! My name is Gold Niguel.” A random gold pony with a hard hat and a business pony suit said.

“What are you supposed to be?” AppleJack asked.

“I’m an architect.” Gold Niguel said. “I’m here to talk to the mayor of giving this town a whole new look.”

“Cardboard boxes! Get your cardboard boxes here! Perfect if you’re homeless!” a merchant cried out.

“Hi, I’m Jack Black! Knock ‘em dead, Mac.” Jack Black said to Big Mac.

"STOP!" Big Mac yelled, just then everypony stops and looks at him.

"W-what?" AppleJack asked confusingly.

“Umm…” Big Mac mumbled and then Big Mac remembered that he can’t talk openly in big sentences so he went down to AppleJack’s ear and whispered.

“Umm… Big Mac says he did it. He stole the money. He spend it all on gettin’ gifts for Cheerilee.” AppleJack said to everypony. Everypony gasped, well, everypony who cared, including AppleJack the most.

"Irony!" Water said in a squeaky voice.

"Big Mac.... h-how.... how could you?" AppleJack asked very upsettingly. Just then Big Mac whispers in AppleJack’s hear again. "He says Cheerilee means everythin’ to him, and he just wanted to see her happy. All the gifts he gave her… he just ruined us. He spent the money on that expensive bracelet on her wrist, spent all our Family Feud and budget money on the arcade games, all to make Cheerilee happy, and he says he’s sorry.”

"LAWL!” I laughed.

"What's so funny?" AppleJack asked me. “How is ANY of this funny to you?”

"Your budget money was in the arcade machines all along? HA! That's awesome!" I yelled.

"How is that awesome?" Water asked.

"The arcade machines? The arcade machines are Fall Festival property! That means we still had the money all along!" I cried in excitement.

"So... we're gonna be fine?" AppleJack asked happily.

"Better than fine! YOU'LL BE RICH!" I yelled. AppleJack then cried out a cheer. “Yeeee haw! Big brother, ah'm still mad for ya stealin our money, but.... it could've been worse. So ah accept yer apology." AppleJack hugs him.

"And Big Mac?" Cheerilee asks walking towards him. "It means so much to me that you'd put your family at risk just to make me happy, but it is completely unnecessary. Don't spend all your money on me. I still love you no matter what!" Cheerilee said as she hugged him. "So I'm giving you back the bracelet for your farm." Cheerilee removes her bracelet and gives it to Big Mac and then he cracks a smile.

“And Big Mac?” I asked as I walked towards him. “I’m glad just because… I dunno, I can’t think of an excuse to hug you too.” I said to him as I hugged him.

"Well, it seems Big McIntosh learned a vital lesson, wouldn't you agree dear sister?" Celestia asked.

"I couldn't agree more!" Luna smiled and said.

"Besides! That was the best Fall Festival ever!" Crystal yelled in excitement.

"Our only one too, so far." Aqua said.

"Way better than the Crystal fair! We should host this again next year!" Cadance said.

"Or better yet, a Spring Fling!" Pinkie cried out.

"Good idea! See? Everything turned out okay!" Twilight said.

"Not for me." Pinkie said angrily.

"Why? What's wrong, Madam Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

"I'm not Madam Pinkie anymore. Psyche stole my business." Pinkie complained.

"And we still need to find out who wins Ponyville Idol." Rarity said.

"It's us, it's totally us, Apple Fritter." Engie said.

"Oh, Silver. If you wanted to be on the top, then that's okay. I shouldn've been so stubborn to you. Can we still be friends?" Diamond Tiara asks Silver Spoon.

"Of course! Besides, I was thinking of dropping out anyway!" Silver Spoon said.

"Oh good, then do it!" Diamond said happily as Silver then glares at her.

Later that night, it was time for the firework show finale! It was time for me to launch the fireworks that bring an end to the Ponyville Fall Festival! I started launching the fireworks. Everypony was happy. AppleJack and Big Mac then hugged again.

"Well, big brother. It turns out our farm will last another winter." AppleJack said.

"Eeeeyup!" Big Mac said.

"It's a good thing ya told me. If Granny Smith knew, ya wouldn't believe!" AppleJack said.

"Believe what?" Granny Smith asked as she glared at them. I continue on releasing the fireworks. Spike goes up to one of the fire crackers and uses his firebreath on them to see if it launches in the air, but it turns out, it just gets teleported to over Celestia, and then it just goes right through her mane and launches into the sky. Spike was pretty embarrassed.

"Uh Flare? Aren't you forgetting something?" Blaze asked me.

"What? Oh right your reward for winning I Triple Dog Dare You!" I said.

"Yes, finally!" Blaze said in excitement.

"Here you go, brah!" I said as I gave him a key chain.

"W-what's this?" Blaze asked.

"A keychain! Win Triple Dog Dare You, win a free keychain!" I said.

"WHAT?! YOU MEAN I BATHED ANGEL AND OPAL, I RAN AROUND CHANGELING KINGDOM, I EVEN ATE A MAREAMI HEAT PIZZA, AND ALL I GET WAS THIS LOUSY KEYCHAIN!?" Blaze yelled.

"Hey! You were the one who wanted to play the game, it's not my fault!" I said.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Blaze yelled.

"Whoa! ARMOR LOCK!" I yelled as I activated my armor lock spell before he can tackle me. The fireworks kept booming onto the sky, and tis were the end of the Fall Festival! Such a spectacular way of ending it! Our goal was accomplished as well. The Apple family was saved from debt, and later that night, Mynx made Spark Note cry.

Secret's Revealed

View Online

I have the feeling that secrets are gonna be revealed on this particular night, because yesterday, I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this mysterious doctor that’s been trying to ruin me. Ever since the plague at Chaos Mountains many months ago, I really needed to know who this mysterious doctor was. Now, it’s time to finally find out who this doctor is, and bring him to justice! That night, in my trailer, I was fast asleep. My fish were sleeping too, except for Rainbow whom was keeping watch. Just then, a dark shadow snuck over to my trailer, and head towards the front door. The mysterious figure punched the code in my security system, used a copy of my hoof-print and eye DNA to hack my security system, and then when it asks for the password; the figure used an audio-recording of my voice which said the password which was: ‘WILLY-WILLY STUPID HEAD! BETCHA WISH THAT YOU WERE DEAD!’ For the first time ever, somepony was able to hack into my trailer. They got inside and took out a spray can which showed all the pressure sensors that were in my hallway. The figure used mirrors to reflect the sensors so he was able to get a clear path to my bedroom. He snuck inside my bedroom where I was sleeping still, and Rainbow was keeping watch, but didn’t really see him. The figure zoomed by and it caught Rainbow’s attention. Rainbow looked around, but he didn’t see anything suspicious, but he somehow knew something wasn’t right. The figure was hiding on the bottom side of the fish tank where Rainbow couldn’t see. Rainbow tapped on Dorthey, and tried to wake her up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDGsfK4Xke8

“Pssst! Dorthey!” he whispered. Dorthey was still asleep but was floating because rainbow fish never lay down; so he tried to wake her up again. “Psssst! Dorthey!” Dorthey just scratched her head, but was still asleep, so Rainbow slapped her in the back of the head.

“OW!” Dorthey yelled.

“Shhhhh!” Rainbow shushed her.

“What’s your problem, Rainbow?” Dorthey asked.

“Shhhh! Something’s not right here. I need some extra eyes.” Rainbow whispered.

“What do you mean?” Dorthey asked.

“I mean, I think somepony has hacked the security system, and they’re in the trailer right now.” Rainbow whispered. Dorthey looked around.

“But I don’t see anypony around.” Dorthey whispered.

“I could be wrong, or maybe they’re good hiding.” Rainbow whispered.

“Maybe we should wake up Flare.” Dorthey whispered.

“What if it’s a false alarm?” Rainbow asked. “We shouldn’t wake him up until we know for sure that there’s an intruder.”

“Could be Spike.” Dorthey whispered.

“I don’t think so. Spike wouldn’t come here unannounced in 3:00 in the morning.” Rainbow whispered.

“What should we do?” Dorthey asked.

“Just keep watch.” Rainbow whispered. “I’ll need some extra eyes in this one.” So Rainbow and Dorthey swam back and forth in the tank, looking around, and trying not to wake up any of the other fish. Darrel was cuddling onto Piddles as they slept, Yoyo was lying down while nibbling on a rock, and Pearl had a face mask on and cucumbers as she slept in the castle. The mysterious figure slid in the ground towards my night stand. The figure goes up to look at me and he then chuckles to himself.

“He sleeps with a teddy bear still?” the figure asked to himself very quietly, just then he opened the drawer and tried to look for a keycard that accesses my security mainframe. He was about to scream, but he held it in because his hoof was caught on a mouse trap that was inside. I was still fast asleep.

I was mumbling to myself though; “Would you look like eggplant on that spaghetti, Luna?” The figure then shook his head and reached inside the nightstand again and found a small trunk. He took it out, and opened it, but it made a loud chime. He closed it quickly, and he nervously looked back at me. I was still asleep, but I was moving around to the other side of my bed. The figure looked at the trunk again, opened it quickly, took my security mainframe keycard out and closed it fast before the chime activated. I was still asleep, but it caught Rainbow and Dorthey’s attention.

“What was that?” Dorthey asked.

“The intruder maybe.” Rainbow said.

“Maybe it was Flare.” Dorthey thought.

“I don’t think so.” Rainbow said. “It sounded pretty suspicious to me, but I can’t be so sure.” The figure slid on the floor towards my bedroom door and got out. He snuck over to my exercise room (the room I never use), he pulled on one of the weights and a wall opened which revealed my security mainframe; he slid the keycard through the slot and the mainframe activated. He started pushing keys on the keyboard on the mainframe and tries to hack it.
“Access main security.” The figure said to himself as he typed down what he said, but the mainframe said ‘Access denied’. “Access main grid.” He said to himself, but it went ‘Access denied’ again. “Access main security grid.” The thing went ‘Access denied’, but then the console locks and a new message pops up; it was an ‘and….’ After that, then the monitor started spamming with the phrase: ‘YOU DIDN’T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!’

My face popped up on the mainframe’s monitor with my hoof shaking back and forth; I was smiling and I said; “Ah ah ah! You didn’t say the magic word! Ah ah ah! Ah ah ah! Ah ah ah!” Just then the alarm on my trailer went off. The figure started running towards my front door to escape, but then my door just got sealed by a steal metal door; the same thing went with all my windows. The doctor was trapped inside my trailer.

“Well, well, well!” I said as I was standing across the hall from him. “If it isn’t the mysterious doctor? Not so mysterious after all, huh? We meet at last!”

“Crimson Flare Gun….. I was wondering when we’d meet again, face to face.” The mysterious doctor said as he snorted. The doctor was wearing a parka and a hockey mask which covered his face. His eyes were glowing yellow and red and I could see that red ‘S’ scar on his eye.

“Again? We met before?” I asked.

“Of course we did!” he said. “You ruined me, and now I shall ruin you!”

“Revenge isn’t the best way to solve your problems, brah. Besides, if I didn’t ruin somepony I wouldn’t remembered it. Lawl remember!” I said.

“It didn’t take me long to realize you moved to Ponyville, Crimson. I see you making all these friends, saving lives, being a hero around these parts. I thought I would’ve ruined your life back in Mareami, but it seems your emotions are the exact opposite of what I wanted.” He said.

“You don’t even know how I’m feeling right now!” I said. “Besides, it’s not just me you’re trying to ruin; you tried to ruin my Ponyville friends too. Why?”

“Those are just ways for me to get to you!” he said. “Lyra breaking her hoof back in the Unicorn Games after I sent that robotic Trixie was unexpecting. Boorlie trying to ruin your business was a good plan while it lasted.”

“Wait, Boorlie worked for you?” I asked.

“I thought you would’ve known that?” the doctor asked.

“Of course I knew that!” I said fast, having a lying look on my face.

“You liar!” he said.

“Is that really the best insult you can give me? It’s like children’s shows giving the wrong messages to kids.” I said.

A cutaway shows me watching Dora the Explorer on TV. “But Dora, how are we going to get to the Tall Mountain?” Boots asked.

“Let’s stop and think. Who do we ask for help, when we don’t know which way to go?” Dora asked the audience.

“Go to the information kiosk of course.” I said.

“The map!” Boots said excitedly.

“The map, right!” Dora said.

“Oh… I didn’t know that. Ok, I’ll do that.” I nodded. Later on, I was lost in the mall trying to find my way out. I took out a map and said, “Ok map, tell me… where is the exit? Huh?” but the map didn’t say anything. “Are you gonna tell me where the exit is? Huh? Hellooooo? HELLOOOOO?!”

“Excuse me, sir? Are you lost?” a pony behind an information kiosk asked me.

“Sorry, kid’s TV shows taught me not to talk to strangers, and it also taught me to talk to physical objects if I don’t know which way to go.” I said to him. “It also taught me that dogs can be blue, and just talking small-talk to others can actually help you make friends.” Yeah, you see what I mean, readers? Children’s shows teach the wrong things to children. C’mon, be realistic if you’re trying to teach children things! The cutaway ends.

“Now, mysterious doctor,” I said as I activated my hornsaber, “Who are you?”

“Sooooo, it’s gonna be that way, huh?” the doctor asked as he snorted. “Looks like it’s time to settle this. Right here, right now.” he too activated his hornsaber, so I guess that means this doctor is a unicorn, I suppose. Or is he?

“Come at me, bro! My body is ready! I bet you don’t even lift!” I teased him. He just glared at me, and then he started charging at me and screamed, and then he jumped and was about to hit me with his hornsaber. Alright, alright, let’s backtrack for a second. This is what happened that night, but what was I doing earlier that day? It all started this morning, over at Canterlot, it was time for the grand opening ceremony for my expansion of Flare’s Pizza Parlor, opening at Canterlot Square. I was standing up front along with Twilight, Spike, Water, and Crèmepop, and I was about to cut the ribbon to open my shop. The crowd was cheering for me.

“Sup brahs? Welcome to the grand opening ceremony of Flare’s Pizza Parlor, expansion opening here in Canterlot!” I started. “My shop was a complete success back at Ponyville, but one shop just doesn’t cover it all! Double the shops mean double the smiles…… and the money!” I started laughing evilly, and the crowd laughed along. A mysterious shadow was hiding in the behind the bushes, watching the ceremony. The news broadcaster Grass Marks was live at the scene.

“Grass Marks here, at the grand opening ceremony of Flare’s Pizza Parlor that’s opening in Canterlot!” he said. “I’m here with the founder and owner of the joint, Crimson Flare Gun, hosting the event! Tell me Flare, how do you feel about all this?”

“I feel with my hooves!” I said.

“Oooook.” He said. “What inspired you to expand your shop?”

“Well….. I didn’t really ‘expand’ it. The building still looks the same back in Ponyville; I just added another building!” I said.

“Indeed. Do you think it’s going to be difficult running both shops?” he asked.

“I got ponies not worth mentioning about looking after this shop. My special friend Crèmepop is going to be managing here from time to time.”

“And you don’t let me manage it?” Water complained.

“Oh hush, Water, you don’t need me to support you all the time.” I said to her.

“Very interesting!” Grass said, and then he turned to the camera. “Well you have it here! We’ll be right back with the cutting of the ribbon, after these messages!” Water and I then walked over Twilight and Spike over near the entrance.

“I’m really proud of you, bro! I can’t believe you decided to expand!” Water said excitingly.

“Yeah! Congratulations, Flare!” Twilight said.

“Hey, I got Bonnie and Lyra to thank more. They did most of the work. I goofed off a lot of times.” I said with a smile.

Twilight chuckles. “Indeed you did, Flare!”

"Life in Equestria has been so awesome possum, you know?" I asked. "Life in Equestria shimmers, and life in Equestria shines!"

"Nice phrase, Flare! I might want to put that in a song when I randomly wake up in a morning." Twilight said.

"Alright, but be sure you add the Quills and Sofas guy in the song. I feel bad, because he doesn't get that much attention." I said.

"No problem at all, Flare!" Twilight said.

"Can I be the one to cut the ribbon?" Spike asked with a smile and a squee.

I laughed, but then I cut off the laugh and glared at him and said; "No."

"Uhh, Flare? Grass Marks says he's about to go live any second now!" Crème informed me.

"Thanks, Crèmepop!” I said as I then turned to Twilight, Spike, and Water. "Well then, today is Flare's time to shine; probably brighter than your brother, Twilight!"

"Impossible! You can't shine as bright as my brother, Flare!" Twilight teased.

"Perhaps, but I can try." I said as I walked over to the ribbon.

"Welcome back, everypony! Here we are at the expansion of Flare's Pizza Parlor in Canterlot! Restaurant owner, Flare Gun, is about to cut the ribbon to open up the shop, and try out his great pizzas, including his garlic rolls, known as the Garlic ROFLs. Why does he call it that? We'll be having an interview with him at noon. Here we are with Flare Gun about to make his speech." Grass Marks explained.

"The first time I opened Flare's Pizza Parlor, I really didn't think it would be much of success. I'd like to give special thanks to my special friends to a dear friend of mine who… how should I say… ‘allowed’ me to use his robots to help me build both of these shops, and I’d like to thank the Mane Six for helping me decorate, and for my friends in the Noble Six for assisting me in daily activities. I also would like to explain all the products I have and what gave me the idea to make them!" I said.

"NO ONE CARES! JUST GET IT OVER WITH!” Crystal yelled from the audience.

"Fine, fine! Why do I even bothering explaining my products when everypony is just gonna get bored with it?" I said with an attitude. "So, without further ado- a-doo, a-doo-doo.... doo-doo. That word sounds weird, ado." I clear my throat. "Anyways, without any more time wasted- wha-wast-ed.... wasted.... way....sted. Wasted sounds like a weird word too. I now present the grand opening....." I was about to cut the ribbon, but the mysterious figure in the bushes made a mischievous look, and chuckled. "..... It's with great honor......"

"C'mon! C'mon!" the figure said to itself.

"..... That I offically open....." I continued.

"C'mon! Cut the ribbon!" the figure whispered.

"..... FLARE'S PIZZA PARLOR...." The scissors were just over the ribbon and I was about to snip.

"Almost there!"

".... As soon as I take a bathroom break." I said as I jumped over the ribbon, and ran into the shop.

"AW C'MON!" the figure yelled out. The audience turned back at him, but he hid back in the bushes before anypony could get a good look. They just ignored him afterwords, and turned back towards the shop. I ran back out shortly after.

"Sorry 'bout that, brahs and sistas! When you gotta go, hey, you gotta go!" I said. “Now as I open my shop…”

“Yes!” the doctor said to himself.

“I was gonna play a song with trusty accordion.” I said.

“UGH!” the doctor groaned.

“But I can’t because… umm… it’s in the shop.” I said.

“Nice excuse.” Water whispered to me.

"Alright well I’m in a tight schedule and I’m bored. So now, I officially open this expansion." I said, sounding like a don't care, then I cut the ribbon. "Walla! We are officially opened for business!"

"Hmmm.... huh what?" the doctor got curious because he wasn't paying attention cause of his boredom of my speeches, and then he suddenly presses the button on his detonator, and all the balloons that were floating in the air, exploded, and then it started raining popcorn. Everypony cheered.

"Hey everypony! Free popcorn!" Derpy yelled out in the audience.

“Wait shouldn’t you be the one saying ‘raining muffins’?” Sprinkle Medley asked her.

“I can like other foods too.” Derpy corrected her.

"WHAT?!" the doctor yelled out. "How can this be? Those balloons were supposed to be inside the shop! What happened?

"Uhh, Flare? I seem to accidentally release all the balloons in the shop." Water said.

"Huh? Oh that's alright, sis!" I said as we both laughed.

"GRRRRR! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! THOSE POPCORN BALLOONS WERE SUPPOSE TO DESTROY HIS SHOP!" the doctor yelled out.

"Say what now?" I asked.

"Oh woops, I spoke too loud." the doctor said as he started running away.

"HEY, WAIT! WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?!" I yelled out as I started chasing him through the Canterlot streets. "COME BACK HERE!" The doctor was trying to build obstacles in my path by knocking over trash bins, knocking off the products on the market stands, and even pushing ponies out of the way. "COME BACK! YOU'RE GONNA GET TICKET KNOCKING ALL THIS STUFF OVER! THEY'RE GONNA MAKE YOU DO COMMUNITY SERVICE!" The doctor then jumped on a hot air balloon nearby, released the rope, and he started flying away.

"HEY! YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THE BALLOON RIDE!" Cherry Berry yelled out from the ground. I ran towards the balloon spot landing pad, and then stopped because there was no way to get to the balloon.

"FOR WIZARD OF HOPE'S SAKE!" I yelled as I began slamming my hooves on the ground real hard multiple times. Just for the lulz, I decided to show a very short cutaway of this exact scene of me pounding on the ground, but with the help of Photoshop, I added drums into the scene and a drumbeat playing in the background, so instead of me pounding on the ground, it looks like I’m playing drums instead.

“I can’t believe it!” I yelled.

"No kidding! That was the fourth balloon stolen this month! My boss is gonna kill me." Cherry Berry said nervously as she walked away. The others joined up with me to ask me what happened.

"Flare! Flare! You alright? What happened?" Twilight asked.

"I dunno." I said. "I think somepony was trying to destroy my shop.”

“They might’ve known it can be destroyed from the inside and they were about to use those balloons for some reason, but I just don't know what." Aqua said.

"Maybe for a popcorn party!” Crystal said excitedly.

“You’re not Pinkie, don’t do that.” Psyche instructed her.

"Maybe those balloons were bombs." Spike assumed.

"Perhaps the popcorn was meant to overflow your shop and destroy it." Water assumed.

"Exactly!" I said. "But who could've done this?" I looked down and saw a badge with a black circle with a big red S. "As if I need to ask."

"Flare, this doctor fella has gone too far this time!" Blaze said.

"Right, ya must act now, mate. This doctor is just going to keep attackin’ ya until ya are no more.” Aqua said.

"Time to get that Doctor back! Do to him what he keeps doing to you!" Crystal advised me. "Kick his flank! Ruin his life! AND POW, he'll be no more!"

"Why would he do that though, Crystal? He wouldn’t be any better than that the doctor.” Aqua said.

"Exactly, Aqua!" Twilight said.

"Yeah, who asked you Twilight?" Crystal glared at her and asked.

"What do ya need us to do, partner?” Engie asked. “We’ll do all we can to make sure nothin’ else goes wrong. At least until it’s lunch time cause then you’re on your own.

"I need all of you to look after my shop and make sure there are no more traps or bombs inside." I instructed him.

"We’ll do what we can, Flare.” Blaze said.

“Of course, Blaze. I mean, if do more than you can… I mean, can that be possible?” I asked.

“He does have a point there.” Psyche nodded.

"I dunno about that bombs thing though. How do we know what the bombs look like, and do we know they won’t detonate?” Aqua asked.

“Just look for anythin’ out of the ordinary, like a bottle of 7-Up, or a Mr. Goldbar, or a coupon to Circuit City……. or Psyche.” Engie explained.

“Of course; or me.” Psyche said sarcastically.

“See? Even he gets it.” Engie said.

“And what are you going to do, man?” Blaze asked.

"This doctor is going to keep attacking me. I have no idea why though and I must find out the truth once and for all. I had enough of him. It was funny at first to be honest, but now, he's starting to be irritating. So I must bring him to justice." I said.

"Then let’s go, boys. Let’s risk our lives to make sure Flare’s inanimate objects don’t get destroyed!” Crystal said excitedly.

“Now that you put it that way…” Engie said.

“You need us to protect your shop too?” Twilight asked.

"Nope. I need you and Spike to help me out.” I said.

"What do you need us for?" Spike asked.

"Every pony in Equestria is in the castle archives right?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" Twilight asked.

"Maybe I can find the answer to my doctor problems there. Twilight you have direct clearance to anywhere in the castle, so I'll need your help to get inside." I said.

"Alright, sounds good!" Twilight said.

"What do you need me for?" Spike asked.

"Well, I'll need you to find his file of course. You don't expect me to do it, do you?" I asked as I chuckled.

"Wait, by myself?" Spike asked.

"Well, unless Twilight helps you. I'm too lazy to read all those files and books in the archives. My department is cooking, playing video games, and not reading boring files about a certain somepony who keeps ruining me! Duh! That's your department Twilight!" I said.

"Uhhh, alright." Twilight said.

“How about us, Flarey?” Water asked as she stood beside Crèmepop.

“I don’t want you two getting hurt. So I’ll give you the safest thing I can think of.” I said.

“And what is that?” Water asked.

“Get me a chocolate shake. I want a chocolate shake.” I said.

“Yippie!” Crème yelled in excitement.

“Yippie? Really, Crème?” Water asked.

“What? It’s safe, isn’t it?” Crème asked her.

“But don’t you want danger and adventure?” Water asked.

“But I like serving Flare. He’s amazing!” Crème said.

“What do you find so amazing about him anyway?” Water asked.

“He’s charming, he’s nice, he’s funny, and of course, he has an awesome sister like you, Water!” Crème said.

“Awww, that’s sweet! I think I just became instant best friends with you, Crèmepop.” Water said. “Didn’t you hear that, Flarey? Crèmepop and I are instant best- oh… he’s already gone, and so did Twilight and Spike.”

“Eh whatever.” Crème shrugged. “Let’s go get his chocolate shake. I’ll buy for him.

“I want one too.” Water said.

“Ok we may be instant best friends now, but you pay for your own shake.” Crème said.

“Ehh… I think I need an adult for this.” Water said.

So Twilight, Spike, and I headed over to Canterlot Castle, and we walked threw the corridor with the stain glass windows and where the Elements of Harmony chamber is. "Wow, look at these stain glass windows! Makes it feel like we're at church." I said.

"Well, all of these windows represent an important event in Equestrian history." Twilight explained. "Over there is when Celestia and Luna defeated Discord, and there's Celestia banishing Nightmare Moon."

"And there's a paper clip!" I pointed.

"Yeah- Wait what?" Twilight asked confusingly.

"I see a tiny little paper clip on this window; the one with you and the others defeating Nightmare." I said.

"Hmm, so there is." Twilight looked.

"Hey look, there I am!" Spike said, pointing to the one with him and Cadance defeating Sombra.

"Yeah I was so proud of you, brah! You did great defeating that evil king! I'm still mad at Cadance for not inviting you to the Crystal Empire during the games though." I said.

"Yep! So many wonderful events in Equestrian history! Makes me feel so lucky to be represented with my friends." Twilight said.

"Uh huh.... I see." I said upsettingly.

"W-what's wrong, Flare?" Twilight asked.

"Isn't it obvious? Do I have to explain it?" I asked.

"Don't be jealous, Flare. Maybe someday you'll have your own window piece too!" Twilight said, helping me feel better.

"No I'm not. You have the Elements of Harmony. Look, I helped protect the kingdom with my friends once, but it wasn't enough for us to have our own window piece. We needed to do something more than that. That event in Chaos Mountain was just a small victory; we didn’t save Equestria." I said.

"But, Flare, don't you see? You and the Noble Six did what many ponies dreamed of, you helped save the kingdom and stopped a disaster from happening!" Twilight said.

"Look, I don't want to get my hopes up of having my own window piece. I don't even want my own window piece. It ain't happening. So why should I want something that I'll never have?" I asked.

"But you'll never win a lotto ticket. Why do you keep wanting that?" Spike asked.

"Winning the lotto is a better chance than becoming a prophecy. Now Twilight, if you don't mind, let's head to the archives already. Shall we?" I asked impatiently. Twilight nodded and we headed up to the archives room. Twilight and Spike searched through the archives, while I just stood there, leaning on one of the filing cabinets.

"So did you two whipper-snappers find it yet?" I asked.

"No. You know, you could actually help." Spike suggested.

"I am. I'm making sure you don't get lazy. Winky face." I said and winked.

"You mean something that you're doing right now?" Spike asked with a glare.

"I said I'm helping! If you want a foot massag, I can do that. If you want a glass of lemonade, I can give you one." I said.

"Okay. Give me a glass of lemonade then." Spike instructed me.

"Sure thing! HEY, MAID?! GET US A GLASS OF LEMONADE!" I yelled out across the hall to a maid that walks by.

"Eh, no, no, you get it." Consuela said.

"But you're a maid, it's your job!" I said.

"No, no, that buttler's job. Me just clean." Consuela corrected me.

"You're one picky maid." I said.

"Si." she says as she trots away.

"I thought she worked for Filthy Rich?" Spike asked.

"Ah, Flare! I think I found something!" Twilight said as she held a file with her magic.

"LET ME SEE THAT!" I said as I shoved her away and grabbed the file with my own magic and read it. "Hmmm..... there's no name. You lied to me! You said you found something!"

"Calm down, Flare!" Twilight said. "Gosh, you rush to conclusions! I didn't find the mysterious doctor's file, but I did find a file of your old friend Boorlie Pomodoro."

"Who's he?" I asked.

"You don't remember? He's the pony who impersonated a health inspector, and tried to get your shop out of business!" Twilight said.

"Still no ding-ding." I said. I obviously knew what Twilight was talking about; I was just playing stupid with her. Twilight just rolled her eyes.

"I think he might be still in the dungeon. We should have a chat with him." Twilight suggested. I agreed, so we all went down to the dungeon to check on Boorlie. When we walked down to the dungeons, Spike was ‘admiring’ the decoration down there.

“Wow… I didn’t think prisons like these were still around. It seems a little medieval if you ask me.” Spike said.

“Boorlie didn’t even do anything that bad. I would understand going to prison, but a dungeon? Seems a little much doncha think?” I asked.

“Yeah I agree.” Spike nodded.

“This is it.” Twilight said as we walked over to dungeons prison and saw Boorlie just sitting in that cell all alone, with that glorious mustache.

“Boorlie Pomodoro.” I said.

"Crimson Flare Gun. How's your business?" Boorlie asked angrily.

"It's going great, brah! I've just expanded into Canterlot, right where your old shop used to be!” I said excitedly.

Boorlie glares at me. "That's.... good."

“Even after months in here, I STILL love your mustache! Tell me, how did you get a mustache that cool?” I asked.

“It’s a secret.” Boorlie said.

“No way! I have a secret too! My secret recipe for my pizzas.” I said.

“Interesting.” Boorlie said.

"We need to ask you a couple of questions, Boorlie." Twilight said.

"I have nothing better to do." he said and shrugged.

"What is the capital of Baltimare?" I asked.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Please excuse, Flare." Twilight said.

"No, please excuse you, Twilight!" I argued with her.

"Flare, we're trying to find out about this mysterious doctor from him." Twilight said.

"Oh.... the doctor...... yes, he was my boss. He betrayed me just as you arrested me. Makes me feel a little bit bad for trying to run you out of business, Flare, but only a little. I needed to get my shop back on top." Boorlie said.

"Tell us what you know about your boss, Boorlie." Twilight instructed him.

"I can't. Even if I wanted to, I can't." he said.

"Got dem dungeon fever, Poorlie? Lawl!" I teased.

"Don't call me that!" he yelled. "I hate it when ponies call me that!"

"What do you mean you can't tell us?" Twilight asked.

"First reason: Flare ruined my business." Boorlie said.

"Not on purpose!" I said. "Wasn't my fault that ponies would rather come to my shop than yours!"

"Second reason, main reason: For all who work for the doctor has a bracelet on their legs that forbids us from giving away any of his secrets. If I squeal, then I'll be squealed. The device will tickle my body until I give in and I hate to be tickled." Boorlie explained.

"You and me both, brah." I said. "But don't tell anypony."

“Heheheeeeeh.” Spike chuckled mischievously.

"What if I tried to get the bracelet off you?" Twilight asked.

"Don't count on it. The bracelet activates even if somepony tries to take it off." Boorlie said.

"Why would I count on that bracelet? That's stupid!" I said.

"I'll take you to my lab. I might have a few things there that might help." Twilight said.

"Well.... you can try." Boorlie said.

"Flare, I'm going to try to get Boorlie's bracelet off, and I’ll make sure he tells me everything." Twilight said.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"You should go and find more clues. Find out whom else the doctor was working with. I'll send Spike to message you when I find some answers." Twilight said. "You got it, Flare?"

"Loud and clear, purple mere!" I said.

“I think I can already know how this is going to end, much like Applebuck Season.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows AppleJack arguing with Big Mac. “Are you sayin’ mah mouth is makin’ promises mah legs can’t keep?” AppleJack asked furiously.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac said.

“Why of all the... this is your sister Applejack, remember? The loyalist of friends and the most dependable of ponies?!” AppleJack reminded him.

“But still only ONE pony, and one pony plus hundreds of apple trees just doesn’t add up to-“ Big Mac explained.

“Don't you use your fancy mathematics to muddy the issue! Ah said ah could handle this harvest and ah'm gonna prove it to you!” AppleJack yelled. “Ah'm gonna get every last apple out of those trees this applebuck season all by mahself!”

“I already know the moral to this story and how it’s going to end.” A random brony said while watching the show. “Plus it’s weird that Big Mac talks in complete sentences now and not ever again after this.” The cutaway ends.

So I after I went out of the dungeon, I met up with the Noble Six at the castle courtyard. "So, Flare, did ya find anything about this doctor?" Aqua asked.

“Also before you say anythin’ ah found somethin’ suspicious at your shop.” AppleJack said as he showed me a broken bobble head figurine of Jeff Gorspeed.

“That’s my Jeff Gorspeed bobble head that SOMEPONY broke!” I explained as I glared at Crystal.

“It was a sacrifice to save your life.” Crystal reminded me.

“Hmm, but this bobble head does give me a clue on who else the doctor’s been working for, Queen Chrysalis, but she’s pretty much out of reach at this point.” I said.

“Well did you find anything at the achieves?” Psyche asked.

"I found the file that belonged to Boorlie Pomodoro.” I said.

"That big meanie that tried to run you out of business?" Crystal asked.

"Yes. It turns out he used to work for the doctor. Bad news is though, he has a collar on him, and he can't tell us a thing with that on." I said.

"Well, what are we going to do now?” Blaze asked.

"We’ll have to find more clues.” I said.

"And then we'll teach that doctor a lesson he'll never forget! TRY TO RUIN OUR FRIEND'S LIFE! Well, he has another thing coming!" Crystal said mischievously.

"You tell 'em, Crystal!” Engie yelled excitedly.

“I’m not sure what he's capable of though. Did ya see how much plannin’ he did, and how much work he put at Chaos Mountain?" Aqua asked.

"Aqua's right. Flare, this doctor is one step ahead of you every time.” Psyche said.

"I know, Psyche, I know, but I can't just sit around and wait until he strikes again. It's time for us to take the first move this time. We have to find out who's under that mask." I said.

"Think back for a sec, Flare." Blaze instructed me.

"Think about what? My back?" I asked.

"No, just think about it for a sec, Flare. Think about who you made angry in the past. Think about who wants to ruin you." Blaze advised me.

"Well.... there was Boorlie and Fonz Punkskull." I said.

"No, no, those two both worked for the Doctor. I don't think those two are the doctor." Psyche corrected me. “Wait, how about Trottingham? Officer Penny Nickels.”

"I don’t think he’s the doctor.” I said.

“No I mean he works for him too.” Psyche said.

"And then there was Queen Chrysalis." Aqua said.

"Think farther, Flare. Think about before you moved to Ponyville." Blaze instructed me.

"Well, Sheriff Silverstar from Appleloosa didn't like me that much." I said.

"Ah doubt he would be the doctor." Engie said.

"There were lots of enemies I made in Mareami. First there was Herb Leafhorn, Jr. He bullied me every day since Elementary School. There was his dad, Herb Leafhorn, Sr. After I hurt his son, he expelled me, and I think that was enough. Blueberry Pie, the cutest mare in the whole school. She swore to make my life miserable after I ruined her dress at the prom." I explained. "And finally, my former best friend, Porker Swinebutt, the pig who betrayed me, and I got revenge on him by destroying his lab, but that didn't make him happy at all. He was struck by lightning afterwards by a strange storm. I dunno, all seem possible.”

"So it's gotta be one of those four – Herb Jr., Herb Sr., Blueberry, or Swinebutt." Aqua said.

"How can we know for sure though?" Engie asked.

“Well the mysterious doctor has an ‘S’ scar on his eye, and I dunno who would have one, but Blueberry did say she had a serious eye infection and she’s pretty smart despite her looks, and Herb Jr. does like starting fights so it could be him with the S scar, but he’s not that intelligent, but then again, I could be wrong.” I said.

"Wait! Maybe we can ask Discord." Psyche suggested.

"Yer crazy, Psyche! He's the God of Chaos!" Engie said.

"But thanks to Fluttershy, he's nice now. He worked for the doctor; maybe he knows." Psyche said.

"That's a stupid idea, brah!" I said to him.

"But maybe we should ask him anyway." Aqua suggested.

"Good idea, Aqua! Let's go!" I agreed

"B-but.... but..... uggh! Forget it!" Psyche said angrily.

So we walked inside the castle and walked over to Discord’s room to see if we can get any information out of him. "I think it was Chrysalis who did it." Crystal said as we were walking.

"How can ya be so sure, Crystal?" Engie asked.

"I just do." Crystal said. "Was I wrong before?"

"Well.... where should ah begin?" Engie asked.

"This is it! Discord's room." Blaze said. "We should move in cautiously. We don't know how much chaos he has in that room of his."

"Or how many lulz he made. He’s not just the God of Chaos, he’s the God of Lulz too.” I said. Blaze opens the door and the whole room looks like a bathroom. Discord was taking a shower in there. He opens the curton, he sees us, and he screams like a lady. He quickly then covered his body with a towel.

"DO YOU MIND?! Have you ever heard of knocking?" Discord asked.

"Whoops! Sorry!" Blaze said as he closed the door and then knocks on the door.

"Holy Wizard of Feelings, Blaze! How many times do I have to say I like being the one to knock?!” I complained.

Discord opens the door, wearing a robe, holding a cane, and is dressed like an old man. "You whipper snappers! STAY OFF MY LAWN!" he yelled in an old man voice.

"But we're not even on....." Psyche said, but then he looked down and saw we were standing on grass. "I stand corrected. I forget who we're talking to."
Discord then teleports to his towel and his room looks like a beach of some sort. "Come in! Come in! Enjoy this beautiful sunny day! Don't you just love a day at the beach?" he asks as he puts on some sunglasses.

"Oh I love the beach! Especially when speed boats go by!" Crystal said excitedly. Discord snaps his fingers and a speed boat rides b, and splashes water all over her. Crystal's mane is wet, and there's a fish in her mouth; she then spits it out and laughs. "Crystal Iceblast! The funniest one in the group! I always admire your sense of humor, my dear!" Discord said as he rubbed his chin.

"HEY! I'm the funniest one in the group!" I complained.

"How do ya do all this, Discord?" Aqua asked.

"A slight answer would be: 'I was born this way'!" Discord said in Lady Gaga's voice and even dressed like Lady Gaga and his room looks like a stage now.

"Very interestin’, Discord! Very intrestin’!" Aqua said nodding.

"Oh thank you, Aquatic Armor! I always thought of you to be the kindest one!" Discord said.

"I must be honest with you, Discord. Your magic is quite impressive!" Psyche said.

"I always adored your honesty, Psyche Illusion." Discord said, snapping his fingers, and his room turns into outer space.

"Wow!" Psyche said impressively as he watches the shooting stars and comets fly by his room. "Never thought I'd see another meteor shower like this in this lifetime!"

"Anything is possible, Psyche! Anything is possible, when you have my glamorous magic!" Discord said.

“Shut up and take my jelly babies!” Psyche demanded as he took out a bag of jelly babies and gave them to Discord.

"Ah'd give ya anythin’ if ya gave me the biggest, baddest, sentreh of them all!" Engie said.

"How generous of you, Red Engineer!" Discord said. "Just for that, I'll give you what you want, for no charge!" Discord snaps his fingers and a giant sentry gun that roars, has teeth, and breaths fire appears right in front of him.

"YEEEEEEE HAW!" Engie cried out and danced. "Much obliged, Discord!”

“Oh snap!” Crystal said shockingly.

"These better not be tricks, Discord. I don't want my friends getting hurt!" Blaze warned him.

"You are just like your wife, Blaze Goldheart! So very loyal in every way possible!" Discord said as he twirls his body around Blaze like a snake.

"ARMOR LOCK! ARMOR LOCK! ARMOR LOCK!" I yelled as I kept turning on and off my armor lock spell.

"Ah, Flare Gun! I couldn've forgotten about you and your magic, my friend! I see each of you unique in every way. I also see some similarities to the Mane Six!" Discord said.

"Never thought of it that way." Aqua said.

"So Discord, we need your help for something." Blaze said.

"Anything you want, my friends! What do you need? Money? Food? A new puppy?" Discord asked as he gives Crystal a cute puppy and it barks at her.

"Awwww!" Crystal said as she nuzzles the puppy.

"I want a winning lotto ticket!" I said.

"Ooo, sorry Flare! I can't make lotto tickets. I think that counts as counterfeiting." Discord said.

"Since when did you care about counterfeiting?" Psyche asked.

"I use my magic for good now, Psyche." Discord said as he gives Psyche a red balloon. "I must obey the laws of the land, even if it kills me." Discord then suddenly gets shot in the back and then falls inside a grave and then an angel of Discord (whose playing the harp) flies out of the grave.

"Thanks for everything, Discord, but all we want is some information." Blaze said.

"And what kind of information would you like?" Discord asked.

"Do you remember anything about Chaos Mountain?" Blaze asked.

"Yes, that used to be my home. Well.... until that doctor destroyed it." Discord said angrily as his angel form turns into a devil form.

"Yes! We need to know everything you know about that doctor!" Blaze said.

"Well, my mind is a little fuzzy,” Discord said as he opens his head and reveals his furry brain, “from that time we captured the Mane Six, and brainwashed Flare and you all, and turned Spike into Godzilla." Discord said as he snapped his fingers, bringing in Godzilla, and then teleporting it away.

"Well that Doctor keeps striking and he won't stop until my life is ruined! We need to know everything you know about him!" I demanded.

"Well, I don't remember much about him. He never showed me his face. I know he has yellow and red eyes and a big red 'S' scar on his eye." Discord said.

"Pretty stupid answer, just like the answers from Dora the Explorer.” I said. “Every time I talk to my backpack, it never gives me anything. I swear these children shows!”

"He did make a weird snorting noise when he talked though." Discord said.

"AH! That totally sounds like the Herb Sr. He has an allergy problem." I said.

"And he's a smart one, that's all I can say." Discord said.

"Thank you for everything, Discord!" Blaze said.

"Not a problem, Mr. Goldheart!" Discord said giving him bigger wings.

"Uhh, I like my wings normal size." Blaze said.

"Picky, picky. Can't accept some wonderful gifts." Discord complained as he turned Blaze's wings back to normal.

"I'd like some bigger wings!" Crystal said. "That would be wicket!"

Discord stretches. "Nah, too lazy."

I suddenly shove a garlic roll in Discord's mouth and said, "Thanks, Discord and Datcord! C'mon, brahs! We should mind more info." Discord swallows the roll I gave him.

"Mmm! Delicious! What is your secret, Flare?" Discord asked.

"A good chef never reveals all his or her secrets." I said.

“Gotcha pal!” Discord winked as he squirts mustard out of his eyes.

“HEY! Don’t get any mustard on my vest, alright?” I asked him.

“My mistake.” Discord said. “Say hi to your sister for me. Oh, and I’d keep a close on that new employee you have.”

“Who? The ones from my new shop?” I asked.

“No, that crazy one from Everfree Forest.” Discord said.

“Crèmepop? What’s wrong with her?” I asked.

“Oh nothing. Now be gone with you. I have some reading to catch up on.” Discord said as he snaps up a novel that probably has tens of thousands of pages, that’s how huge it is.

So we all walked out and went back to my Canterlot shop, and on the table, I took a look at some of the evidence I found while I was confronting the doctor's companions. Wow, if you listened to how I said it, it sounds like I'm referring to Doctor Whooves.

"What's going on, Flare?" Psyche asked.

"I'm taking a look at this wallet that I found when we were in Trottingham after we confronted Officer Nickels." I said.

"After I confronted Officer Nickels." Psyche corrected me.

"Sure take all the credit." I said sarcastically. "I wonder if we can find any hoof prints. Maybe we can find a match, and then light the match, and play with it after our parents tell us it was wrong playing with matches."

"You aren't going to find any matches on that wallet. If you want to look for hoof-prints of the doctor, you should check on items he's touched." Psyche informed me.

"Like the balloons?" I asked.

"The balloons all popped, but he was in those bushes outside. Maybe we can analyze it, and find out match." Psyche said.

"Well, I suppose I got nothing better to do, so let's go with your dumb idea." I said as the two of us along with the rest of the Noble Six walked out of my shop and went outside and walked over to the bushes where the doctor was earlier that day.

"So, you think you can analyze this bush with your sonic screwdriver, Engie?" I asked.

"Ah suppose ah could try. This analyzin’ device is pretty complicated though. It could take just a few seconds to analyze somethin’ or it could take a million-billion years. One way or another, we’ll find out eventually.” Engie explained.

One million-billion years later…

“Got it!” Engie said as a skeleton.

“Nice, Engie!” I said as a skeleton as well. “So who is it?”

“Ah dunno, this is just one your daydreams.” Engie said as my daydream bubble suddenly popped.

“Huh? Oh, must’ve dozed off. Did you get the match yet?” I asked.

“No, ah didn’t even start yet. You didn’t answer mah question. Are you ready to start?” Engie asked.

“Oh… yeah, sure.” I nodded.

“So with this device ah can find a match and it could even trace us to the specific location to where this mysterious doctor is currently.” Engie explained.

“Well what are you waiting for, brah? Get started!” I instructed him.

“You know, ah don’t have to do this for you.” Engie said.

“Yeah you dooooo.” I teased him mischievously.

“Yeah ah do.” Engie admitted as he activates the device and begins scanning the bushes.

"I think we might find your mysterious doctor, Flare!" Blaze said excitedly.

"And we'll bring him to justice.” Aqua said.

"Awww, but I wanted to break his spine!" Crystal complained.

"Ah think ah found a match, partner. Follow me." Engie instructed me.

"Who made you the boss? BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS!" I asked.

"This isn't about being the boss, Flare. This is about bringing your doctor friend to justice, and that's what we're going to do. I can walk away now or just follow Engie’s lead." Psyche persuaded me.

"C'mon, mate. We don't want that doctor strikin’ again." Aqua reminded me. “Think about all the trouble he put ya and your friends into, that includes ya’re sister.”

“Yeah of course you mention my sister, Aqua.” I teased him.

“Ya get my point though, right?” Aqua asked.

"Sigh. Whatever. Lead the way Engie.” I instructed him.

“Ah already did!” Engie yelled from the distance.

So we followed Engie through the Canterlot streets; we walked, and we walked, and we walked. Engie had the feeling that the signal wasn't in Canterlot, but in Ponyville. So we took the next train back to Ponyville. We kept following the Engie, and we followed, and we followed, and we followed, Crystal was leaning on Aqua because she was so tired, I kept complaining to when we're gonna get there, but we finally made it. Once we got to Ponyville we continued following Engie until we made it to our destination. "The signal is coming through this barbeque restaurant."

"Porker's BBQ? The BBQ place right across the street from my old shop which by the way is still there?" I asked.

"So, it must be Swinebutt then." Engie said.

"Are you kidding me? Swinebutt's a scientist! Not a restaurant owner! That's my department! If any of them were to be a restaurant owner, it would be Blueberry Pie. She loves to cook." I said. So we all went inside. Ponies were eating up some tree ribs, and lots of other BBQ stuff, but there was nothing suspicious going on.

"You think this food might be brainwashing the ponies?" Blaze asked.

"BRAINWASHING!? EVERYPONY OUT! THE FOOD IS BRAINWASHING YOU!" Crystal yelled as she starts taking pony's foods.

"CRYSTAL, WAIT!" Blaze yelled.

"You're getting brainwashed by the mysterious doctor everypony! Don't let the food deceive you!" Crystal yelled as she eats one of the ribs. "No matter how delicious they are!"

"CRYSTAL! Oh my Faust! Keep calm! The food isn't brainwashing anypony!" Engie yelled.

"It's not?" Crystal asked.

"No of course not! Ah don't even need an analyzer to know that! Ah ate here many times!" Engie informed her.

"THE FOOD IS DECEIVING ENGIE!" Crystal yelled as she tackled him.

"GAH! CRYSTAL GET OFF ME!" Engie demanded.

"This is a good distraction. We should go find more clues." Psyche suggested.

"Let's head into the office." Aqua whispered.

While everypony was watching Crystal and Engie; Aqua, Blaze, Psyche, and I snuck inside the manager's office. Luckily for us it was unlocked.

"Let's make this quick. We don't know when he'll be back." Psyche said. “I'll try to get the safe opened."

"I'll check the desk." Aqua and Blaze said at the same time. They both then looked at eachother awkwardly. "I'll guard the door." they both said again. "I'll check the..... I'll guard the....."

"That was pretty awkward, Aqua." Blaze said.

"I agree. Ya wanna check the desk?" Aqua asked.

"No thanks, I'll guard the door. You check the desk." Blaze offered.

"Sounds good to me." Aqua agreed.

"What am I gonna do?" I asked.

"Put on these uniforms and go into the kitchen, and pretend you're a chef." Blaze instructed me.

"Why would I pretend about something I already am?" I asked.

Blaze sighs. "Just cook in there, but at the same time look for clues, without anypony else knowing."

"But you know, and I know, and Aqua and Blaze know." I pointed out.

"I meant anypony that's not us." Blaze corrected me.

"Does that include Crystal and Engie?" I asked.

"No, they can know." Blaze said.

"This size uniform is so small, and I don't even know how to cook tree ribs!" I said.

"Just do your best, man." Blaze said.

"Why don't you do it?" I asked as I was putting the uniform on.

"Because you have better cooking experience then any of us. You have a better chance at succeeding." Blaze said.

"But I don't know how to cook ribs! I can cook pizzas, garlic rolls, pastas, soups, certain desserts, tree burgers, but I never cooked ribs in my life, and it looks hard!" I whined.

"Just do your best, man. We'll be here if you need us." Blaze said.

"I hope so, brah. I hope so." I said as I exited the office and walked over to the kitchen.

"Ah, you must be the new stallion!" one of the employees said to me.

"GARLIC ROLL!" I yelled, shoving a garlic roll in his mouth. "I'm certainly not here looking for clues about your boss, and I certainly do not run the pizza parlor across the street."

"Oh, okay." he said, not feeling suspicious at all. "You know what to do, right?"

"Sure I do! B-T-W, can you tell me a bit about your boss?" I asked.

"I don't really know nothing about him." the employee said as he continued to cook.

"So that means you do know about him." I said.

"No it doesn't." he said.

"Yes it does, you said you don't know nothing about him, which means you do know something." I pointed out.

"That doesn't make any sense." the employee said.

"Yes it does. You DON'T know NOTHING, which means you don't know nothing about him, which cancels out, so that means you DO know SOMETHING about him." I said.

"Well.... in that case, I know nothing about him." the employee said.

"That's better." I said. "So if you don't know about him, how did you get this job?"

"I just filled out an application and the interview takes place on the phone. None of us ever see him- Wait.... you should know that. You work here now, do you?" the employee asked. Just then all the employees in the kitchen looked at me.

"Well.... umm...... I have a connection with the boss. I met him or her in real life!" I said.

"You did, really?" one of the employees asked.

"Yep! I knew him or her from my childhood!" I said.

"Really? Then why do you keep saying him or her?" one of the employees asked.

"Oh.... uhhh.... I can never tell. He or she's either a cross-dresser, or a femcolt…" I lied. The employees all looked at eachother confused, and then they shrugged.
"I guess that explains why we never see him or her. He or she never reveals himself or herself to us." one of the employees said.

"Affirmative!" I said. “Now… how do I cook ribs?”

“Didn’t you just say you knew what to do?” one of the employees asked.

“I know how to eat them, but that’s about it.” I said.

Back in the office, Psyche was still trying to crack the safe, Aqua continued to search in the desk, and Blaze was still guarding, watching Engie and Crystal continue to go at each other. "Wait, I think I found somethin’." Aqua said.

"Lay it on us, Aqua.” Psyche instructed him.

"I found these pictures of a blue pegasus pony; she looks really cute." Aqua said.

"That must be Blueberry Pie." Psyche said.

"Now I think all the cards are coming together. If you ask me, I think Blueberry Pie is the mysterious doctor!" Blaze said.

"Ah'm startin’ to believe so too." Aqua said. "Psyche did ya hack the safe yet?"

"Done and done!" Psyche said as he opened the safe revealing all the electronic devices that are inside. "Look at all of these electronic devices, I never seen them so advanced, not even at Engie’s standards.”

"Blueberry Pie must be an evil scientist.” Aqua assumed.

"I think the mystery has been solved. Blueberry Pie is the mysterious doctor!" Blaze said.

"We better go now before she comes back." Psyche suggested.

"Agreed. Let's go." Aqua said as he closes the safe. They exited the office and saw a few of the customers were holding back Crystal from Engie.

"Finally! What took y’all so long?" Engie asked.

"C'mon! That wasn't even 10 minutes!" Blaze said.

"These are the best ribs I ever tasted!" Golden Harvest said excitedly.

"Yeah, they're alot better now than before." Minuette Colgate said.

"I'm definitely coming back here again!" Caramel said.

"Special credits go to our new employee!" one of the employees said, as I exited the kitchen. "Oncore! Oncore!"

"Flare? I thought you worked across the street?" Skyblaze, one of the customers, recognized me and asked.

"Wait, Flare? As in Flare Gun?" one of the employees asked.

"What? You got a problem with that?" I asked as I smirked at one of the employees really close to their face.

"Uh, no, no, not at all." one of the employees said nervously.

"Well, good. Because..... I quit." I said as I threw the apron on his face, and then my friends and I all walked out of the shop.

"Well we did it, Flare! We found the mysterious doctor! It's Blueberry PIe!" Aqua said.

"I should've known. I knew she wouldn't let me go so easily after ruining her prom dress." I said. “Why would my ex-marefriend work so hard to try to ruin me? It’s only a prom dress. Seems a little too far-fetched.”

“I dunno man, but at least our case is solved.” Blaze said.

"So now that we found out who the doctor is, what are we going to do now?" Psyche asked.

"I'm going to settle this with her. I'm going to go look for her, tomorrow." I said.

"And we're coming too!" Crystal said.

"No you're not, this is a personal matter. Blueberry is trying to ruin ME, not you." I said.

"But Flare, he tried to ruin us too!" Engie said. "Remember when we were stuck in the video game?"

"And Officer Nickels arresting us both?" Psyche asked.

"And Fonz Punkskull abusing Water?" Blaze asked.

"And who made the night last forever?" Crystal asked.

"Actually, that was Nightmare Moon, Crystal." Engie reminded her.

"And let's not forget about Chaos Mountains, Flare." Aqua reminded me. "She captured the Mane Six and brainwashed us all."

"Yeah, this is personal for us all, Flare." Psyche said.

"But she only used all of you to get to me. I must handle this on my own. This is too dangerous for you all." I said.

"Flare, I don't care what you say. You're not handling Blueberry on your own!" Blaze swore.

"Yes I am! You're all gonna get yourselves hurt. It's between her and me. I don't want you dudes to interfere." I said.

"But Flare!" Blaze begged.

"Blaze, let him do this." Aqua comforted him.

"What?!" Blaze yelled.

"Flare thinks he can handle this, and I believe him. We should all believe in him." Aqua said.

"Aqua, you're crazy!" Blaze said.

"THE FOOD GOT TO AQUA TOO!" Crystal yelled. She was about to tackle him, but before she could, Psyche held her back.

"Flare, I believe ya can do this. We have faith in ya. We all do." Aqua said as he smiled at me.

"Thanks, Aqua! I'm sorry, brahs. I really wish you can help me, but this is a personal matter, and I only want you all to be safe. I can do this! I will win! You'll see!" I said.

"We know ya will, Flare." Aqua nodded.

"But don't take any unnecessary risks, man. Call us when you need us." Blaze advised me.

"I sure will, Blaze! I sure will!" I nodded.

Meanwhile, over at Twilight's house, Twilight was almost done getting the bracelet off Boorlie.

"Are you almost done?" Boorlie asked.

"Of course I am. Just hang in there." Twilight said.

"Well hurry it up! It won't be long until it activates." Boorlie said.

"Aaaaaaaand, done!" Twilight said as she removed the bracelet. "There we go, Boorlie! You're free! Now tell me what we need to know."

"You just fallen for my little trap, Twilight!" Boorlie said mischievously.

"What?" Twilight yelled surprisingly.

"That bracelet was actually a tracking device, just in case I escape the dungeon, and now you removed it, and I'm heading back to my boss now!" Boorlie said.

"Not if I have anything to say about that!" Twilight said as she started her magic, but then he puts the bracelet on Twilight and locks it on; it cancels out her magic. "What the?!"

"Yes, that bracelet cancels any magic spells and now you're defenseless!" Boorlie said.

"Oh yeah?" Twilight said angrily. Twilight had no choice but to use physical force, so she was just about to kick him, but it was too soft.

"Too bad you never bothered to train to fight using your hooves. You may be a powerful foe with your magic, Twilight Sparkle, but without it, you're nothing! I'll be going now! Tootles!" Boorlie said as he runs out and locks Twilight in her lab.

"NO! NO! NO!" Twilight yelled in defeat as she starts slamming on her basement door, and with the help of Photoshop, I modify this scene to have her instead of banging on a door, she bangs on a xylophone hanging on the wall, the type of xylophone you’d hear on an island or a cruise ship. "I GOTTA WARN FLARE!" Twilight yelled. Later that night, I returned home and went to sleep after that long day.

Well, that was what happened before. Here we are now. The mysterious doctor breaks into my trailer and tries to hack my mainframe. I was about to have a hornsaber fight with him. "COME AT ME BRO! MY BODY IS READY! I BET YOU DON'T EVEN LIFT!" I yelled at him. The doctor (who I believe is Blueberry) activates her hornsaber and starts having a hornsaber duel with me. We dueled until we were at my bedroom, and all the fish woke up.

"WHAT THE?! OW!" Piddles yelled, after he bumped his head and saw Darrel cuddling up to him. “HEY!”

"What is going on out there?!" Pearl asked.
"What's with all the glowing sticks? Flare never said he was having a glowstick party." Yoyo said.

"WOOO! Glowstick party!" Darrel yelled.

"I don't think this is a glowstick party." Rainbow said. So I continued to duel with Blueberry, and she pushed me into the Living Room, but I stopped.

"Whoa, whoa! We can't duel in here! There's too many fragile stuff!" I said.

"Well, where do you want to duel?" the doctor asked.

"There's plenty of room in the kitchen, as long as we don't open the cabinets." I suggested.

"Alright." the doctor said. So we both moved into the kitchen to continue our fight.

"Alright this is good. Let's continue." I said. So we both continued dueling. There was also punching and kicking and the doctor accidentally cut my table in half. "Aw man! I'm not paying for that." the doctor complained. The doctor then tackled me and I fell to the ground.

"You can't defeat me, Crimson! I'll ruin you, just as you ruined me!" the doctor said.

"For ruining your prom dress? You mares are crazy!" I said.

"Wait, what?" the doctor asked.

"You know what. You came for revenge when I ruined your prom dress, Blueberry." I said.

"I'm not Blueberry." the Doctor said.

"Wait, you're not?" I asked.

"No! I can't believe it took you this long to know who I really am! It's pretty obvious!" the Doctor said. "All my inventions, don't they match the ones when I owned this trailer? The big red 'S'? It's the same logo I put on all my inventions; it's also the first letter in my last name! Porker's BBQ, right across the street from your shop? Did you forget what my first name is? Gosh, you're stupid!"

"Wait, a minute..... Porker's BBQ..... the inventions..... the big red 'S'...... that can only mean one thing...... you're......" The mysterious doctor removed his hockey mask and it was revealed that the mysterious doctor is actually my old ex-friend from Mareami, the scientist pig, Porker Swinebutt! “HERB LEAFHOR- err I mean, PORKER SWINEBUTT!?"

"That's Doctor Swinebutt to you!" Swinebutt said.

"Oh, I thought you were that colt from across the hall of my apartment that kept playing pranks on me, but I always seemed to laugh along with them." I said.

"This was MY trailer! MINE! You stole it from me! You destroyed everything I held dear! You also ruined my plans for YOU being the bullied instead of me!" Swinebutt said.

"Lawl what? Me being the bullied instead of you? I don't really get it." I said.

"I was actually the one being bullied the most back at elementary school! I had to think of something! I was the most bullied one in the whole school! When I saw you though, you were the second most bullied one in the whole school, but they bullied me more than you, but I had to think of something, so I teamed up with Herb Leafhorn against you.” Swinebutt explained.

“You went to him?” I asked.

“Actually, he came to me. He offered me to be freed of my torment if it means earning your trust and then stabbing you in the back at the last second.” Swinebutt explained and snorted. “I had no personal grudge on you at the time, and at first I felt sorry for having to betray you, but I had no choice, the Leafhorns are a powerful family. His dad is part of a mob.”

“I knew it!” I said. “I bet his son is part of it too.”

“Umm… yeah, yeah he is, and he’s too working with… me… yeah.” Swinebutt stuttered.

“Are you ok?” I asked.

“Yeah I just lost my train of thought for a sec.” Swinebutt said and snorted.

“Wait… what’s that unicorn horn on your head then? I thought it was a unicorn trying to ruin my business… wait… Blueberry Pie is a pegasus why did I think she did? D’OH! I’m so stupid. I forget even the slightest details.” I complained.

“Well this horn here is a mechanical horn that I implanted on my skull. It’s connected to my brain.” Swinebutt said. “I needed to find some way to know how to protect myself, so I made my own unicorn horn.”

“Wow, very impressive. You’re getting better with your technology I must admit.” I nodded. “When we were friends, I knew you could make robots, but mechanical horns seem pretty advanced, even in pony standards.”

“I’m not a pony though.” Swinebutt corrected me as he snorted. “I’m a pig.”

“Yeah I got that.” I nodded. “But dude, we don’t have to worry about the Leafhorns anymore! Ponyville is safe everypony is friendly. If you moved here too you wouldn’t have to worry. We can be friends again!” I offered.

“I don’t want to be friends with you; you forget, you destroyed my line of work, and then you summoned a storm and struck me which gave me this scar!” Swinebutt explained as he pointed to the ‘S’ scar on his eye.

“Wait… that storm gave you that scar? I thought you just painted it on or something?” I asked.

“No… now I look even more hideous then before, thanks to you!” Swinebutt said.

“I didn’t even summon that storm though! I really don’t know what happened. I am not capable of creating something like that.” I said.

“You said that when you used that so-called Shoop Da Whoop at the prom.” Swinebutt reminded me.

“That was different. I knew I summoned that spell, but the storm… that was different. I really have no idea where that came from!” I admitted.

“You lie!” Swinebutt yelled.

“Wow, we’re going with the ‘you lie’ again? Do I have to explain that whole Dora the Explorer ordeal again?” I asked.
“Shut up!” Swinebutt yelled.

"Brah, I didn't mean to ruin you back at Mareami; I was young, and angry! I can make it up to you, I promise!" I begged.

"It's too late for that, Crimson! I'm going to run you out of town! Better yet, OUT OF EQUESTRIA! Then we'll be even!" Swinebutt said.

“What if you don’t?” I asked.

“If not you, then your Noble Six friends, your Mane Six friends, your family, or even your whole pathetic little town will feel my wrath!” Swinebutt yelled.

"OVER PSYCHE'S DEAD BODY!" I yelled as I then then tackled him and we both rolled out of the trailer. Yeah my security system went offline and the door was opened finally. I then suddenly jumped on top of Swinebutt, carrying a rubber ball in my hooves, and I started banging it on his head yelling, "GET ON THE BALL! GET ON THE BALL! GET ON THE BALL! FOR ONLY $19.99!" Swinebutt kicks me off him and I flipped over and landed head first on a market stand. Swinebutt flips over the stand and it almost lands on my head right on top of me, but I got up quickly. Swinebutt then kicks the stand and it rolls towards me, and I started rolling down the hill with it. I hopped off the stand before it crashed on a wall.

Swinebutt and I suddenly glare at eachother. He goes upside down and starts swinging his legs around like a propeller and he yells, "A bing-a-bong-a-bing!"

I then jumpped up and floated in the air, kicking my legs around, and crossing my arms saying, "Youlooloolooloo, yooloolooloo!" I then kick Swinebutt in the face and he kicks me in the back of the head. He then takes my legs and flips me over, but then I take him with me and I throw him towards a house, but once he landed on the roof, it came to my attention that he was behind me and he had a piano. I screamed because it looked like he was going to drop it on me, but it turns out I was standing on a sea-saw, and he throws the piano on the other end of the sea-saw and I started flying up to the sky and I landed at town hall. Swinebutt ran towards town hall and he kicked the door opened. I was checking out the curtains on stage.

"You know, these cartons should be a different color." I said to myself. Swinebutt screamed and started running towards me, like berserk. I took his body as he was running and jammed it on the curtains. "You don't need a cabinet full of cleaners! That's right! I guarantee it!" I then ripped off the curtains and covered him with them.

"You order now, you can have a second beating, absolutely free!" Swinebutt said as he grabs the curtains and covers me with them, and holds he down, trapping me inside.

“Imma firin’ my laser- BOOM!” I yelled very fast as I quickly used my Shoop Da Whoop spell on him. He started flying out of town hall and he lands in some bushes outside and he passes out.

I start catching my breath as I slowly limp outside and towards Swinebutt’s passed out body. I was really tired after that last spell so I took out a container of iced tea and I start sipping it down to refuel myself. Once I got to Swinebutt to take a good look at his passed-out body, I said, "Whether big or small, Flare Gun does them all!" After a few moments, Swinebutt jumps up and we started having a slap fight. We just kept slapping eachother and slapping eachother in that one spot for hours until it broke dawn outside. Suddenly, Swinebutt grabs my hoof and we just suddenly stopped. I just looked down and saw him holding my hoof tight. He lifts his back claw and I suddenly gasped. "The Wushi Hoof Hold!"

"Oh you know this hold!" Swinebutt said, smirking at me. I just smirked at him back and punched his back claw. He just looked at his claw for a few seconds, and then he started screaming. I suddenly kicked him and then he lands towards a house. I started charging towards him, but before I could do anything to him, Swinebutt knocks on the door at the house he's at.

Bulk Biceps then kicks the door open and yells, "WHAAAT?!" But when he kicked open the door, it hit me on the face. I was holding my nose in pain which gave Swinebutt the chance to give me a good punch on my face. We continued fighting until we were in front of Sugarcube Corner. A few ponies were exiting their houses and they see what's going on. Some were excited, some were scared, and some were confused. Swinebutt was dominating the fight though. He did another punch at my face and I fell on the ground, all black and blue.

"You are done, Crimson Flare Gun!" Swinebutt said as he activated his mechanical horn and was just about to finish, but then suddenly Blaze suddenly appears and tackles him. Blaze and Psyche hold Swinebutt on the ground, as he struggles to get up. "GAH! GET OFF OF ME!"

"Flare! Flare, are ya alright?" Engie asked as he helped me up.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Thanks for the help, brahs." I said.

"Wow, we were wrong. It turns it out it was Swinebutt." Aqua said.

"Flare?! Flare you alright?" Twilight asked as she ran to me along with Water and Crèmepop

"Oh dear, look how hurt you are! Let me help you out." Crèmepop said as she was trying to rub my face, but I suddenly pushed her hooves away.

"No, no, no. Thanks, I'm fine, Crèmey." I said.

"Are you alright, Flare?" Water asked.

"Will everypony please stop asking me that?" I asked.

"Well, well, well! It turns out the mysterious doctor, is actually a pig!" Spike said.

"Well, what else is new?" Swinebutt asked sarcastically and snorted.

"Flare, you could've been beaten if we weren't around to save you!" Crystal said.

"Yeah, Flare! It turned out you needed us after all." Blaze said.

"I know, I know, I was wrong to do this on my own. I guess I did need help after all, even if it was personal situation." I said.

"And all it did was to teach ya the lesson the hard way." Aqua said as he winked at me.

"Uh huh. I knew you wouldn't let me get away with this so easily, Aqua.” I teased and we both chuckled.

"I'm so glad this is finally over!" Psyche said.

"Yep! Wait.... Blaze, Psyche, if you two are here, then..... who's holding....." I looked over, and I saw Swinebutt was gone.

"Yep, he got away." Engie said.

"FOR WIZARD OF HOPE'S SAKE!" I yelled. "Now we're back to square one, or circle one, or triangle one, but STILL… WE GOT HIM, and now HE’S GONE! UGH! SUPER GROANS!”

"No we're not, Flare. We found out who this mysterious doctor really was. Now we're onto him.” Psyche said.

"And that jerk will get what's coming to him! Don’t you worry about a thing, Flarey!” Water said.

"I know. I will capture Swinebutt, and stop him before he ruins me even more! Be aware Doctor Porker Swinebutt! Because I'm going to end this once and for all! I'm coming for you, and you can't stop me!" I yelled.

"THE FOOD'S GOT TO FLARE TOO!" Crystal yelled as she tackled me.

And so, we all know now who the mysterious doctor is! I will find him, and bring him to justice, if it's the last thing I do, but now Boorlie is also out there, so I won’t be surprised if he tries to ruin my business. I have to protect my shop and my secret recipe from him. Time for things to really get interesting!

Love is in the Flare

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Oz: Great and Powerful was playing at the movies today so I went with my bro Spike to go check it out. This movie's going to be awesome, brah! I know it because my author watched it! So many plot twists and references to the first Wizard of Oz movie! But I won't go on because I don't wanna spoil it for ya. I do recommend seeing it though. Spike and I were walking inside the movie theater. I had some popcorn and soda on my hooves, and we walked to take our seats.
"Hurry it up, Spike!" I began. "I don't want to miss the pre-movie trivia questions."

"Flare, these questions are the easiest, most pandering questions in the world." Spike said, giving his opinion that I find completely false.

"Shut up, they're starting!" I yelled at him. A question popped up on the screen and the question was: 'Who is the captain of the Wonderbolts?' and the answer was: 'Sp_tf_re'.

"Ooo ooo! Spatfure! Spatfure! Wonderbolts, I win!" I yelled out. Then the answer was revealed to be 'Spitfire', and there was a picture of her on the side. "Who?" I said really confusingly. The next question came, and it asked: 'Name of this fashion inspector.' and it showed a picture of Hoity Toity. "Holy Wizard of Feelings! Do you have any questions for ponies that are not Applewood insiders?" Another question came up and it said, 'What color is this?' and it showed the color blue.

"Sweet Celestia, dude!" Spike complained.

"Alright, this is ridiculous! I need some help." I took out my cell phone and called my friend Blaze.

"Hello?" Blaze started.

"Hey Blaze, what's up? I'm at the movies, and I need some help with a trivia question." I said.

"Ok." he said.

"This question is asking me: 'What color is this?'" I said.

"Well.... what color is this?" Blaze asked.

"That's what I'm asking you." I said.

"I... I don't understand. You're there!" Blaze said.

"Look, maybe you don't understand. This is like the trivia thing before the movie, with the brain teasers, and the pictures of Spatfure on it?" I said.

"Spatfure? You mean the captain of the Wonderbolts in the 1940s?" Blaze asked.

"Yeah, so can you help me?" I asked.

"Alright, find a phoenix, or a dragon, touch him or her, and I'll be able to see what he or she sees." Blaze said. I looked at Spike and I poked him on the shoulder. "It's blue." Blaze said.

A few minutes went by and the trailers came on. "You know what I don't get, brah?"

"What?" Spike asked.

"I know this movie is about the Wizard of Oz, but why do they show all action movie trailers? Where are all the comedies? I really want to see the Monster University trailer!" I said. “The instrumental of the song ‘Now That We’re Men’ from SpongeBob plays in that trailer.”

"Well this is an action movie. The trailers should be in the same category." Spike informed me.

"And what is up with them telling where the emergency exits are? What kind of emergency can happen in the movie theater? Popcorn machine fire? Somepony should keep a fire extinguisher at the snack bar." I said.

"Shhhh, ponies are trying to watch this." Spike shushed me.

"Ponies are trying to watch the trailers? What is so special about them? I mean, if they want to see trailers so bad they should go on YouTube and watch them there! I'll keep quiet when the movie starts." I said.

"But dude..... the movie has already started!" Spike corrected me.

"Wait, what? When?" I asked. "Wait a minute, that's just the logos of who made these movies. Walt Disney, huh? I wish they didn't buy out LucasFilms. Although it would be great if they bought out Hasbro!"

"Why would you say something like that?" Spike asked.

"Hasbro is ruining everypony's favorite show! All the singing, the Derpy censoring, the fandom censoring. Derpy isn't fanmade! She was an animation error! They should keep her on, but don't call her Derpy, maybe Ditzy Do. Ever of thought of that Hasbro? And what is up with them making Equestria Girls? Nopony's gonna watch that. We all had enough of those teenage girl shows. They were made to be ponies! The Mane Six is taking Lyra's dream!" I said.

"Hey, I just hope I'm on it." Spike said, shrugging and drinking his soda.

"You are, but you're going to be a dog." I said.

Spike spits out his soda in shock. "WHAT?! A dog?! I'm no dog! I don't wanna scratch myself, and eat bones, and see everything like it's a 1920s movie!" Which he's implying that dogs see in black and white.

"Shhhh! I'm trying to watch this!" I shushed Spike.

"But you've been talking throughout the whole...... nevermind." he said. So we've gotten through halfway of the movie, and Spike ate up all the popcorn.
"I wonder what happens to the monkey and glass girl when the Wizard of Oz takes place?" I asked.

"Flare there's no more popcorn, can you get some more?" Spike asked.

"Get it yourself! I'm not missing this!" I said.

"Well, fine. Then nopony gets any." Spike said, putting the popcorn bucket on his head.

"Oh poo, I have to use the bathroom!" I said.

"Then go!" Spike said.

"No! If I go, the movie will still continue, and I'll miss parts of it!" I said.

"Yeah I hate that. There can't be a pause button or a bathroom break intermission in the middle of the movie? This is ridiculous!" Spike complained. Just then, I heard some giggling on top of me.

"Spike can ya stop giggling?" I asked.

"That's not me." Spike said. I looked around, and I saw Cheerilee and Big McIntosh behind me. Big Mac was whispering in Cheerilee's ear, and she was giggling.

"Sigh. Couples today are so annoying sometimes." I said. Just then I heard some smooching sounds to the left of me, and I saw Spark Note and Mynx slurping on a popsicle. Yeah, I thought they were kissing too. "Excuse me? You guys are slurping too loud." I said to them.

"Oh, sorry Flare." Mynx said. But they continued slurping, but lower. I groaned and continued watching the movie. Then I heard a big beaming, drilling sound. Spike and I looked over to the corner of the theater and we saw Doctor Whooves showing Cloud Kicker his sonic screwdriver.

"Is the Doctor cheating on Derpy?" Spike asked.

"Grrrrr!" I growled. Just then I saw a pony blocking my view of the screen in front of me. "Hey! Do you mind? You're blocking my view of the screen!"

"Oh, sorry Flare! I just love sitting on my Thundy's lap." Crystal said jumping off his legs and sat back down at her seat. "I love my Thundy so much!"

"Thundy loves his Crystal." Black Thunder said and they nuzzled and cuddled.

"My movie night is ruined." I said upsettingly. Later on, the movie ended and Spike and I walked on out.

"Phew! It's a good thing we were finally out! I've been holding it in since Oz just got to Oz!" Spike said as he ran into the bathroom. As I was waiting for him, I just sat down on a bench, crossing my arms, and I saw lots of ponies around the theater with their special someponies. It made me feel jealous because everypony has a special somepony, but I don't. It's pretty sad really. I'm 26 years old, without a marefriend, and I never had one. Well, kinda, I mean there was Blueberry Pie but I don’t think she really counts, and Fluttershy… well… she had too much cider, and I don’t blame her for mistaking me thinking of her as my mom more as a crush.

"Sad face." I said as I looked down on the floor. Spike walked out of the bathroom with a toilet paper stuck on his foot, and he walked towards me.

"Well that's a relief! I thought I wasn't going to make it!" Spike said wiping his sweat off his forehead. "Well then, you're ready to go?"

"Mhm, sure," I said, as we both started exiting the theater. It was snowing outside so I put on my blue jacket that matches the same color as my blue vest. I’m going to be wearing this jacket every time I’m outside from now until later chapter 23.

"So did you enjoy the movie?" Spike asked.

"Yeah." I said, still sounding upset.

"What was your favorite part?" he asked.

"I dunno." I said.

"Flare, is there something on your mind?" Spike asked.

"A tumor." I said.

"Very funny. Seriously though, you're not acting like your old self right now. There's something wrong with you, and I don't need dragon sense to know that." Spike said.

"It's just..... in the movies today, I saw lots of ponies with their special someponies." I said.

"So? What's your point?" Spike asked.

"Spike, you don't understand! I'm 26 years old, and I don't have a marefriend! Never have!" I said.

"What about Blueberry Pie?” Spike asked.

“Don’t mention her. She’s a traitor, just like Dr. Swinebutt.” I said.

“I thought you weren’t ready for a special somepony?” Spike asked.

“After all that’s happened, I think I might need one now. I have two pizza shops, a lot of money, a lot of friends, I think I got my own life on track. I think I’m ready to take care of a special mare now.” I nodded.

“Well that’s awesome, bro!” Spike said excitedly. "Leave it to me, Flare ol boy! I know lots about getting the fillies to like ya." Spike puts his arm around me. "There are fillies, fillies everywhere!" he waves his hand from side to side when we said that.

"I know, but I got none to be in a relationship with me." I said.

"But look how many mares you're friends with! Crystal, Crèmepop, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Rari- NO! Not Rarity, she's mine!" Spike said.

"Well, Rainbow Dash is already married to Blaze. Plus, my friend Crystal is already going out with Thunder, Mynx has Spark Note, Big Mac has Cheerilee. Am I the only stallion without a marefriend, brah? WELL, AM I?!" I asked, shaking him.

"Look, Flare, calm down! I can help you find the perfect mare!" Spike said. “I mean, you’re not alone though. Aqua doesn’t have a special somepony, or Engie, or Psyche.”

“I can tell Aqua’s going to be going back to a relationship with my sister some day, Engie has been talking nonstop about AppleJack’s cousin Apple Fritter, and Psyche is sexy, he’ll find somepony in no time!” I explained.

“And that means you’ll be next!” Spike said.

"But you think I'm ready to have a special somepony?" I asked.

"Absolutly!" Spike said.

"But I got both of my pizza shops, so many friends that I should hang with, my fish, and let's not forget the adventures I have the Noble Six." I said.

"But having one little marefriend isn't going to affect any of it because we're finding you the perfect mare that you have alot in common with!" Spike said, poking my nose.

Spike started singing a parody of The Perfect Stallion: "Flare Gun is epic and leet! He's the most awesome friend I can hope for! The perfect mare you and I must...." But just then, Derpy came with a letter for Spike.

"One letter for a mister Spike!" Derpy said giving it to him. Spike opens the letter and reads it.

"Oh you gotta be kidding me!" he complained.

"What happened?" I asked.

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders are suing me for copyright infringement!" Spike said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It turns out I was just singing one of their songs, and I guess parodies are out of the question." Spike said.

"I made of parody of their Babs Seed song, and they didn't sue me." I said.

"They must really like you then. Jealousy." Spike said.

"Excuse me? Where's my tip?" Derpy asked.

"Here ya go, Derpy!" I said, giving her a muffin. "Blueberry muffin, your favorite! Anything to make a fellow mail-mare happy- the Doctor is cheating on you."

"Thanks, Flare!" Derpy said happily, but just then.... "WAIT, WHAT?!" So Spike and I were sitting on a park bench so we can discuss which pony suits best for me.

"Alright, now tell me about yourself, Flare!" Spike said, holding a pad and quill.

"But you already know alot about me." I reminded him.

"I know, but we need to find a pony that suits best for you!" Spike said.

"I wanna go out with Princess Luna." I said.

"Really? Really, Flare?" Spike said giving me a weird look. "Luna's a princess, dude! You can't go out with her!"

"Shining married Cadance, so I don't see a difference with that and me going out with Luna." I said.

"Luna's out of the picture. Now give me a description on you, Flare!" Spike instructed me.

"I'm funny, I like to play video games, I'm friendly, and I sometimes randomly lick my lips when I talk." I said, licking my lips as I was talking. Spike writes all that stuff down.

"Excellent! So what would you like in a mare?" Spike asked.

"A heart, a brain, some lungs, and other internal organs to keep a pony alive." I said, licking my lips still while I'm talking.

"No I mean, how intelligent do you want in a pony, how strong?" Spike asked.

"Well a decent intelligent pony, maybe stronger in strength, but magic I'll have to think about, and they have to have a unique sense of humor. They make me lawl, and I have to make them lawl." I said, and yes I was still licking my lips when I'm talking.
"Hmmm.... I think I might have a couple of ponies for you- And will you stop licking your lips?" he asked.

"But they're dry." I said.

"You've been licking them non-stop, how can they still be dry?" Spike asked.

"I haven't had a drink since the movies. I said.

"Alright, alright. C'mon, I'll show you a couple of ponies that'll match your description." Spike said. So Spike went over to the library to see if Twilight would be the one to go out with me.

"So let me get this straight, Spike. You want me to go out with Flare?" Twilight asked.

"You both know great magic tricks, Twilight!" Spike said with a glee smile on his face.

"That is true, but.... I dunno. With all that Princess Celestia giving me, I'm not sure if having a special somepony is what I actually need at this time." Twilight said.

"C'mon, Twilight! Just give it a try! Flare is funny, he's handsome, he's smart!" Spike explained.

"Oh if you think so, maybe you should go out with him." Twilight teased and giggled.

"Just one night, Twilight! He needs somepony of your talents!" Spike said.

"Well...." Twilight thought it over.

"Please, Twilight? Please, please, please?" Spike begged.

"Alright Spike, one night." Twilight rolled her eyes and said.

"Oh thank you, Twilight! Thank you! I swear you won't regret it!" Spike promised.

“I think I have already, just like I regret writing that last letter to Princess Celestia.” Twilight said.

A cutaway shows Twilight walking out of that creepy thrift shop that Trixie went to back at Magic Duel, and Twilight walks through the rainy streets with a black journal. “Wow! I can’t believe this book only costs one bit! It’s like they were ‘dying’ to get rid of it!” Twilight said as she opens up the Death Note book and takes out a quill. “I’m going to love this journal! Maybe I should write down what I learned today. Dear Princess Celestia-“

Meanwhile in Canterlot, Princess Celestia starts yelling “Hnnnnnnnng!” as she presses onto her chest. Don’t worry, she’s fine. Princesses receive the best healthcare. The cutaway ends.

So Twilight got herself all dressed and taking a glimpse of her dating guide before meeting me over at the Soup ‘n Salads restaurant for our date. Spike goes along with her to make sure everything is going on well. Although, the two were unaware that they saw one of my co-workers, Crèmepop, walking passed them along the way.

"Oh hey, Crèmepop!" Twilight greeted her.

"Hey, Twilight! Hey, Spike! Wow, Twilight, you look fancy tonight! What's the occasion?" Crème asked.

"Flare's looking for a special somepony." Twilight said.

"REALLY?!" Crème asked with a big smile.

"Yeah! So I'm filling in, and I'm meeting him at the Soup 'n' Salads later." Twilight explained.

"WHAT?!” Crème yelled in fright.

“Huh?” Twilight asked.

Crème calmed herself down instantly so she wouldn’t make a scene. “Oh I mean, Twilight, I'm very pleased that you're trying to make Flare happy, really I am! But.... umm..... you look so busy, all that Celestia is giving you, and you have lots of friendship letters to fill out, and stuff. Isn’t that?”

"Yes, that is true, Crèmepop.” Twlight nodded.

"Here, why don't I keep Flare busy tonight, and you can go back to work? What do you say?" Crème asked.

"Sounds like a generous offer, Crème.” Twilight said.

"But Twilight's going out with Flare tonight; he's already expecting her. It wouldn't be right if Twilight didn't come and you decided to take over." Spike said.

"Spike, it's no big deal." Twilight said.

"It is! If Crème went to the date instead of Twilight, he'll think Crème is trying to sabotage it, and Flare won't be happy at all, isn't that right Crème?" Spike explained.

"Well..... yeah, I guess that's true." Crème said upsettingly.

"Relax! Flare and Twilight have alot in common! They're a part of a six-pony clan, they both know awesome magic spells, and they both write letters to a princess!" Spike said.

"I know, but-" Crème said but got interrupted by Spike.

"Everything will be fine, Crèmepop!” he said.

But thank you for your offer! I really appreciate it!" Twilight smiled and said.

"Oh, no problemo, Twilight! You have fun with Flare now!" Crème smiled and said.

"Thank you, Crème! Have a great evening!" Twilight said as she and Spike walked away. Crème then suddenly started to freak out.

"Oh no!" Crème yelled. "I can't let Flare and Twilight be in a relationship! I'm supposed to be Flare's special somepony! I have to sabotage this date!" Just then, Derpy was standing next to her.

"You said it, Crème!" Derpy yelled angrily, carrying a tennis racket. "I'm going to sabotage the Doctor's date! He and Cloud Kicker are going down!"

Meanwhile over at the Soup 'n' Salads, Twilight walks inside with Spike, but Twilight sits down at the waiting area, feeling nervous.

"What's wrong, Twilight?" Spike asked.

"I dunno about this, Spike." Twilight said nervously.

"Well if you don't know about this Spike, ask the other Spike." Spike teased.

"What?" Twilight asked confusingly.

"Nothing. Look, don't be nervous, Twilight. You'll do great!" Spike said.

"But I never had a date before." Twilight said.

“What about Aqua at the Gala?” Spike asked.

“I’m not 100% sure if that was actually a date. I mean… this is the first dinner date I’ve ever been on. Besides, I like Flare, but I don’t… you know… like-like him.” Twilight explained.

“Not right now you don’t, but later you might.” Spike said. “Besides, you read all about dates though, so you this should be a cake walk!"

"Reading about relationships and actually experiencing them are two different things, Spike." Twilight said as Spike starts pushing her to where I am.

"One night, Twilight. Remember that." Spike reminded her.

Twilight takes a deep breath. "One night. Got it!" She walks on over to my table and takes a deep breath before sitting down. "Hey, Flare!"

"Sup sista!" I asked as I was playing on my phone.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked.

"Sitting, breathing, blinking...... playing an app." I said.

"Oh cool! What are you playing?" Twilight asked.

"If I answered the question, I'd be breaking the fourth wall." I said.

"Good point." she said. "So, how's it going over at the shop?"

"Fine! Fine! Please excuse me not giving you eye-contact; I just want to finish this game." I said.

"Take your time!" Twilight said. Just then eventually I finished and put my phone away in my tuxedo pocket.

"There we go!" I said. "So Twilight, what's new with your studies?"

"Well, Princess Celestia recently gave me an assignment on a new spell. There's this spell that Star Swirl the Bearded did that turned a dead tree back to life." Twilight explained.

"Does that include-" I was about to say, but Twilight kept on talking.

"Include making it stronger? Yes Flare it certainly does!" she nodded. "It also can make the trees absorb more sunlight and water much faster than when it did before. The spell can also work at curing the tree if it has a disease of some sort. So these past two days, I've been trying to bring one of those dead plants I have in my library back to life, but....." I just kept nodding but at the same time I was trying to talk, but Twilight never gave me a chance. She just kept talking and talking and talking. I guess I know why Twilight is single.

When it was time to take our order, Twilight just kept chatting about the materials and calories that a salad and soup has. Took the waiter 10 minutes to finally walk away to take in our order but then Twilight just kept talking to me about some other spells that Celestia wanted her to do. I was just sitting there, holding my face up because I was really getting bored and I was super hungry. All I had for lunch today was sunflower seeds. "Excuse me? Am I boring you, Flare?"

"To be honest, yes." I said.

"I knew this wouldn't work." Twilight said.

"Don't get me wrong Twilight, I like you! But as a friend, not as a marefriend." I said.

"I know, I feel the same way. I guess I'm not yet ready for a special somepony, but I hope you find yours!" Twilight said smiling at me.

"Thanks Twilight! Go on ahead, I'll pay the bill, you have a great night!" I said.

"You too, Flare!" Twilight said as she got up and walked out of the restaurant. I knew this wasn’t going to work either, but she didn’t really have to leave. We could’ve just had a friendly dinner. Oh well, I should look on the bright side – I get to eat Twilight’s food! I’ll save it for breakfast tomorrow. Once I paid the bill, I too left. Crèmepop was waiting outside.

"Time to sabotage Flare and Twilight's date! With this stinky perfume, it would be like somepony passed gas and Flare will be mine! MINE! MINE!" Crème said as she did an evil laugh.

"What's so funny, Crème?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh Flare! Umm… how was your date?" Crème asked nervously as she hid the stinky perfume behind her.

"I wanna hear what you were lawling about. I need a good lawl." I said.

"Oh it's nothing. How was your date?" Crème asked again.

"It was great!" I said happily.

"That's....... great..... Flare!" Crème said, faking a smile.

"But it turns out Twilight's not the pony I'm looking for, so I gotta keep looking." I said.

"Oh.... I see." Crème said as she cracked a smile.

"Hey, how did you know about the date?" I asked.

"Twilight told me on the way over here." Crème said.

"Oh, alright, and what’s that thing hiding in your back?" I asked, pointing to her perfume behind her back.

"Oh this? This is just my..... perfume! See?" Crème squirted the perfume on her face and faked a smile.

"Real cute. Alright, I'll see ya later, Crèmey!” I said as I walked away.

Just then Crème started coughing after she sprayed herself, but she didn’t care because the date didn’t turn out the best. "Awesome! I didn't have to sabotage the date! It got sabotaged on its own! Maybe I don't need to do anything! I'll just wait until Flare goes to me! It's the perfect plan, and then Flare will be mine! MINE! MINE!" Crème said and laughed evilly again, but unaware that Derpy was laughing along with her.

"The Doctor will be mine, Crèmepop! MINE!" Derpy said and laughed evilly along.

After a few minutes, I went to the park and sat on a bench facing the pond. Spike eventually joined and sat with me. "So, things with Twilight didn't work out, huh?" Spike asked.

"She talks too much." I said.

"I wouldn't argue with you there." Spike said.

"Well that's one pony down, who next?" I asked.

"I dunno, man, there are like a ton of mares in this town; all that doesn't include Rarity, because she's mine!" Spike reminded me.

"Got it.” I nodded.

"I'm serious dude, Rarity is mine!" Spike started raising his voice.

"I get it!" I said.

"I'm serious, man!" Spike grabbed my jacket. "RARITY IS MINE! YOU CAN'T GO OUT WITH HER!"

"I PROMISE I WON'T GO OUT WITH HER IF YOU LET GO OF MY JACKET!" I yelled at him. He let go of it.

"Sorry." he said. “You care about that jacket like you care about your vest.”

“They both make me look good. I wanted to change back after that date. I love this jacket and I love this snow. I mean I’m not used to this freezing weather though, but its beautiful weather I must admit.” I said.

“I agree. It is beautiful.” Spike agreed.

"So who next?" I asked. Three pictures popped up below. One with Twilight, one with a white unicorn pony with a red mane, and the third was Pinkie.

"Twilight...." Spike said, pointing to the Twilight one. "Toxic....." Spike pointed to the middle pony. "Pinkie Pie!" Spike pointed to Pinkie's picture; he then looks at you the readers and said, "Flare already went out with Twilight..... who's next?" A blue arrow suddenly pops out and clicks on the middle pony. "Toxic! Right! Toxic Heart!"

"Toxic Heart? I dunno, she seems like a too serious one. I'm not sure if it'll work out." I said.

"Aw nonsense, Flare!" Spike said. "You two will get along fine! You both know great magics, her mane is red your favorite color...."

"You don't have to remind me what my favorite color is." I said, glaring at him.

“Look, this might work! Just give it a chance!” Spike said.

”Well…. I am desperate, but I suppose.” I said.

”Excellent! I’ll hook you up!” Spike said, walking out.

“I can already see this being an epic fail.” I said. So, over at Taco Shack, I met up with Toxic Heart over there. It didn’t go well at all. I just walked out of Taco Shack with so many taco shells and stuff all over me, and I just upsettingly walked home. I really don’t need to go into detail of what went on in there.

As I was walking with my head facing down, there were two ponies dressed like Charlie Brown and Lucy. Lucy was holding a hoofball, and Charlie was running and was about to kick it, but Lucy held the ball away, and Charlie tripped and fell. “Oh QUIT RUBBING IT IN MY FACE!” I yelled at them.

“What did we do?” Lucy asked.

“Bullying him like that… that’s love… that’s how little girls show their love for boys, through hate. I’ve seen enough Hey Arnold and Jimmy Neutron to know where this is going.” I said as I angrily walked away.

“You love me?” Charlie Brown asked.

“Sh-shut up!” Lucy blushed.

“Good grief.” Charlie said with a smile. “And I mean that in a happy way.”

So I went back to my trailer, cleaned myself up, and laid on my bed. My fish were concerned about what happened. “What happened to Flare?” Piddles asked.

”He was on a date, and it obviously failed.” Pearl said.

“Now how are you supposed to know that, Pearl?” Piddles asked.

“Yeah, I mean, maybe it did go well, but he’s not happy about it.” Yoyo thought.

“How can it be so? How does that make sense?” Pearl asked.

“Maybe he’s happy! He looks happy! I mean, did you see the way he walked inside and laid on his bed with his head down? Totally happiness!” Darrel said. Pearl just facefinned herself.

“Sigh…. You know, fishies?” I asked them.

“Yeah we know fishies. They’re a swell species!” Yoyo teased.

“I don’t think I’ll ever find a special somepony. I guess I’m meant to be forever alone.” I said sadly. “Now where is my forever alone meme mask?” I got up from my bed so I can find it, but just as I was looking for it, Spike came inside my trailer to talk to me.

“Hey, Flare.” Spike greeted me.

“Go away! I’m meant to be forever alone.” I said, holding a meme mask on my face.

“That’s not the forever alone meme mask, that’s the close enough meme mask.” Spike pointed out.

“Close enough.” I said.

“Don’t give up, Flare! I know these past two dates were a failure, but there’s still one more on my list!” Spike said.

“Oh yeah? Who?” I asked. Just then, the three images of the ponies I have gone out with already and those I have still yet to go out with appear below the screen again.

”Twilight….. Toxic…. Pinkie Pie!” Spike said to you the readers. “Flare dated Twilight, and he went out with Toxic…. So next is…..” The blue cursor clicks on the Pinkie Pie image. “Pinkie Pie! Right!”

“Pinkie Pie?” I asked.

“Yeah, Pinkie Pie! Now her I know will work!” Spike said.

“Pinkie is a pony that likes to be friends with everypony, I can’t date her!” I said. “Besides what if I mess up? I don’t want lose my friendship with Pinkie! She’s special!”

“Exactly!” Spike said. “I mean, you both have a lot in common! You both are random, funny, work at a place that sells food, have poofy manes and blue eyes, you both are perfect for eachother!”

“Come to think of it….. I actually feel a little spark between her and me. We bonded a lot, and I might’ve had a slight crush on her this whole time.” I said as I was licking my lips while talking.

“That’s the spirit, Flare! Go on and ask Pinkie out! I’ll help you out every step of the way!” Spike said.

“Well…. I never asked a pony out before….. but I’ll try.” I said.

”You asked Fluttershy to Grand Galloping Gala, and what about Blueberry Pie?” Spike asked.

“How many times do I have to say it about Fluttershy? I think of her as a mom so I have no trouble asking her to hang out with me!” I reminded him. “Second, I never asked Blueberry Pie out. She asked me out.”

“Whatever! It’s a bigger deal than just asking Pinkie Pie on a date, so this should be a piece of cake!” Spike said. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I opened it, and Cloud Kicker rushed right in.

“Cloud Kicker? What’s going on?” I asked.

“You have to hide me! Derpy is after me!” Cloud Kicker panicked as she hid under my couch.

The next day came, so I went over to Sugarcube Corner to ask Pinkie out on a date. I peeked inside and I saw her telling jokes to the costumers and making everypony laugh. “I dunno about this, Spike. Look at her! Look how funny she is! I can’t beat that!” I said, but Spike wasn’t even there. I figured it out shortly after.

“Hey Flare!” Crèmepop said as she stood next to me.

“Oh hey Crème!” I greeted her.

”How’s the dating life?” Crème asked.

“Ehh could be better. Didn’t find a special somepony yet.” I said.

“Aww, I’m sorry to hear that, Flarey.” Crème said, but then she smiled. “You know, you may never know who your soul mate actually is. She could be RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! Ever thought of that?”

”Yes I have, Crème and she’s in that room right now waiting for me!” I said.

“Yes- Wait what?” Crème asked shockingly.

“Yeah, I’m going to ask Pinkie Pie out on a date!” I said.

“Well…. Okay! No problemo, Flare! You… you have fun!” Crème said upsettingly.

“Thanks, Crèmey! You’re the best!” I said as I hugged her. You know, if Crème actually says that she wants to go with me, I could’ve by now, but she’s not saying anything, so she’s trapped in the friendzone. Hey I wish I could do something about it if I knew.

“You’re welcome, Flare!” Crème said as she hugged me back. “Do your best!”

“Oh I will don’t worry!” I said. “I’m going to do better than the making of Discord!”

A cutaway shows Samantha Bragg, an artist for DHX creating Discord’s design. “Ok, let’s see… Discord… he has to be different from everyone else, his own species, like combining other species into one. So… umm… let’s see… how about this? Let’s start with a pony head and body. Ok umm… he needs wings, so let’s make his wings look like Nightmare Moon’s wings, but… umm… in a different color; let’s make them blue. Actually, come to think of it, let’s change his other wing to looking like a cockatrice’s wing. Alright now for the arms… umm… something beastly like… like a manticore’s paw, yeah! Ok and his other arm… umm… let’s make a claw… a griffin’s claw. Alright this is great! Now for the feet… a buffalo’s hoof would do nicely and… umm… a dog? No… no not a dog. A green dragon’s leg! Yes! Hmm, he’s lacking read, so how about a snake-like tail, similar to a red dragon’s. Yes! He’s complete! How about I just add a couple of horns there for accessories and there! We have Discord!” Ok I’ll lay it on you; basically, Discord is the problems from MLP season 1 put together, so that’s how Discord was made. There we go, the cutaway ends.

So I went inside so I can ask Pinkie out, but Crème was about to freak out, but she calmed down quickly. ”Don’t worry. If his last two dates went bad, what makes you think he’ll be successful in this one? There’s no way Pinkie will be his special somepony! Soon, he’ll ask me out, and then, he’ll be mine! MINE!” Crème shouted out and laughed evilly, but then she started hiccupping. Inside Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was juggling and making jokes while doing it, making everypony laugh, until she saw me walking in.

“FLARE!” Pinkie yelled as she jumped on top of me and continued juggling cupcakes as she danced on top of my head. Everypony cheered out and laughed as soon as they saw Pinkie putting on a hilarious show. It took some time until she finally concluded the show and everypony was walking out of Sugarcube Corner. “BYE everypony! Come again soon! I got more tricks tomorrow! Lots of balloons, and candy canes, and even swamp tar!”

“Great show, Pinks! Really great show!” I said as I clopped my hooves together.

“Thanks, Flare! Thanks for helping me out; it was super doper fun!” Pinkie cheered out and hopped in place.

“It sure was!” I said. “The way you made those ponies lawl, and wet their pants…”

“And made them laugh….” Pinkie added.

“Lawl, laugh, same thing.” I said.

“Actually….” Pinkie suddenly zooms close to my face. “One has something to do with clown shoes, and the other has something to do with dinosaurs.”

“Wait…. What?” I asked confusingly.

“DINOSAURS, FLARE! DINOSAURS!” Pinkie yelled in my face.

“Ow! My ear drums!” I yelled.

“I didn’t know you had musical instruments in your ear because I have an accordion around my neck!” Pinkie said and as she started playing a red accordion.

“Nice… accordion, sista.” I said upsettingly as it makes me think about my old accordion.

”Thanks! So what was it that you wanted to tell me?” Pinkie asked.

“Well…. I’m a little nervous right now.” I chuckled.

“Don’t be nervous Flare! It’s only the three of us here!” Pinkie said.

”Right.” I said and nodded. “Wait, the three of us?”

“See for yourself!” she said, giving me a mirror, and I saw her pet gator Gummy was noming on my ear.

“Well what do you know? How ya doin, Gummy? I love this gator!” I said.

“Really?! NO WAY! I LOVE HIM TOO!” Pinkie cried out.

“That’s awesome! I love gators! Aren’t they a great college hoofball team?” I asked.

Pinkie giggled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Me neither.” I said. “So Pinkie, I….. I wanna….” I gulped. “I wanna get this thing off my chest.”

“Well that’s no way to speak to Gummy, he’s not a thing.” Pinkie said. I looked down and I saw Gummy was on my chest.

“No, I’m talking about Gummy. There’s…. something I wanna say.” I said.

“Tell me anything! As long as it has nothing to do with chainsaws.” Pinkie said.

“Well…. Ummm…. You’ve been a really great friend, Pinks….. so…. I thought…. If I took you out to dinner….. maybe I can show you how appreciated I am for all you did for me.” I said nervously.

“Okee dokee lokey!” Pinkie said. “It’s a date then!”

”So where and when?” I asked.

“OH! OH! I know this awesome pizza restaurant; it’s called Flare’s Pizza Parlor! Have you heard of it?” Pinkie asked.

”Uhh, no I haven’t. Maybe we should try that place out!” I teased along with her.

“Great! So when do you want to meet?” Pinkie asked.

”I dunno, I’d say 8, but I want to be a little more original because that’s when everypony goes out on dates, and dates are another name for a veggie.” I said.

“I know! I know! 8:01! 8:01 is the perfect time!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“8:01 then! Sounds good to me! See you then!” I said.

“Okee dokee, Flarey!” Pinkie said.

”Dress nice!” I instructed her.

”Why would I dress evil?” Pinkie asked.

“Alright miss wise-gal, I’ll see you at the shop then!” I said as I walked out of Sugarcube Corner and Spike was waiting for me out there.

“So how was it?” he asked me, but I didn’t know he was there so he startled me.

“AAH! Oh hey, Spike. Yeah, I asked her out. We’re meeting at my pizza shop tonight at 8:01.” I said.

“8:01, huh? How original.” Spike said as he rolled his eyes.

“Not sure if sarcasm one way or sarcasm another way.” I said. Just then a newspaper suddenly flies on my face. I took out off my face and read it. “Oh look. Spatfure, Wonderbolt captain is working with Hoity Troity now.”

“C’mon, get it right! It’s Spitfire, not Spatfure! Get her name right.” Spike advised me.

”No it says Spatfure, see?” I asked as I showed Spike the newspaper, and he read it.

“No, it says Spotfere.” Spike said.

”All these Wonderbolt captains have similar names don’t they?” I asked.

Eventually Spike and I went back to my trailer in my bedroom. I was pacing back and forth because I was really nervous about this date. More nervous then the other dates because this particular one I didn’t want to mess up on. Spike was sitting on my bed. “You know, you’re not getting closer to what you want just by walking around.” Spike pointed out.

”I don’t know what to do, man! I never felt this way before! I think Pinkie might be the one I’m looking for!” I said.

”Now calm down, calm down. No need to be nervous, you know why? Because you’re not going to mess this up!” Spike said. “Pinkie Pie is an easy pony to impress. You can’t fail!”

“But what if I do? Maybe she might not even want to be my friend anymore and you know how much I hate being left out! If I’m not friends with Pinkie, I mean, everypony else is, and I hate being left out!” I cried out at Spike.

“Ok, now you’re just repeating yourself.” Spike said. “Look, to impress Pinkie, you just need to know what Pinkie likes, and Pinkie likes everything! I’ll do all I can to make you look like you’re a true gentlecolt, and I won’t stop until you win Pinkie’s heart!" Spike rips off my clothes and pushed me into my bathtub and then he starts singing..... I dunno if I should call it a parody since this song was already funny already.... of Down Syndrome Girl song from the show Family Guy. By the way Seth, I hope you don't mind if I use this song, I'm pretty sure you already stole from the Simpsons already, so it's only fair. Spike starts washing my mane, and starts singing.

"You've got to look your best tonight, you funny little parasite..." Spike starts to shape the soap on my mane to look like the statue of Liberty's headpiece, ".... 'cause there's a lovely filly, and...." he then places soap on my hoof to look like I'm holding the torch on the State of Liberty's hand. "... she's waiting for you!"
I’m eventually out of the tub with a towel around my waist and Pinkie's face appears in my mirror, but it turns into my face shortly after and then Spike starts blow drying my mane and it gets all spiked up. No pun intended, because I’m better than that.

Spike continues to sing. "And though her pretty face may same a great comedy director's greatest dream, but before you get to see it there are things you must do!" Just then, a tuxedo just randomly appears around my body and then Spike ties up a red tie around me and then he puts a yellow flower on my jacket, but then replaces it with a rose. "We'll try.... a tie.... and boutonniere of yellow, or a rose, that shows, that you're a classy fellow." Spike then Jumps into my trunk, and pops out wearing a Thomas Jeffhoofson outfit, who is a ponified version of Thomas Jefferson; and then he puts on sunglasses by the time he says 'style'.
"With the a posh, panache, of Jeffhoofson, and Colticello, bursting out a mile with style! I know you can't wait to stare, at all that luscious pinky hair..." Spike takes out a poofy wig from my chest and then sprays it pink, "... but boy before you touch a single cuuuuurl.... you must impress that...." Spike suddenly jumps into my dresser, then pops out of the drawer on top of the drawer he went in while rolling his eyes, "....super funny...." he then pops out of another drawer, pulling out his empty pockets, "..... not much money...." he then pops out of the other drawer wearing a monkey outfit "..... acts like a monkey...." and now pops out of top drawer and jumps out. ".... clown of a girl!"

“I think I know why you don’t sing that much.” I commented as he spins me around, lays me on the floor, and puts baby powder on my flank while holding his nose.

"On every normal day you reek, as if you're on a greasy spree....” Spike removes my hoof out of my nose and then wipes my droll with a paper towel. "Your hooves are up your nose, and you are dripping with droll. But if you want a filly's love, you're better off by smelling of, a gentlecolts cologne instead of sneakers and stool." Spike begins to spray my armpits and under my shirt. "A squirt, a spurt, of something just for Pinkie..." he then sprays my eyes and then I cover them, then he sprays my mouth, and I spit out the taste. “And you'll see, that she, will not find you all so icky, and she does, because, the only smell that she'll be smellin’, won't come from that dumpster behind your shop!" Just for the heck of it, I decided to pick him up and spin him around, and then he pushes me over and puts on my dress shoes, and then spins me around again. Wow, kind of dancing is this, bro?

"You wanna take that mare you adore, and spin her on the dancing floor, but boy before you do a single twirrrrrrrrrl.... you must impress that cupcake eating, laughter spreading, caker cutting, clown of a girrrrrrl!" A picture of Pinkie suddenly slides down my window and I took smile at that, and then Spike puts on some sticks on his legs to make him look taller, and he puts on a Pinkie wig, and puts on a pink dress, and we start ball dancing.

"Her eyes are emerald portals, to a secret land of love, and her smile is like the sweetest summer flower....." I lift him up in the air, to my side, and I put him down.

“You know, you need original lyrics to sing parodies.” I advised him.

“Her kiss is so inviting, and her hugs are so delighting…....” he sang, and then there was a huge pause in the middle.

“Make up your own lyrics, brah.” I advised him, but look whose talking. Can I do any better?

He then suddenly jumps out of his sticks, dress, and wig and starts jumping on my stuff. He begins to sing fast, ".... and what makes them really nice, is that they've got a little spice, because it's funnier than a lice that'll bite you for an hour...."

"OW!" I yelled as I felt a bite from my head, and then a lice pops out of my head. Spike suddenly wears a tuxedo and top hats and canes get thrown to both us and we start dancing around for the instrumental part of the song for about a couple of minutes, much like Gene Kelly. After a bit of dancing, we started dancing towards the door and Spike sings the final part of the song, and as it goes on, he sings faster and faster:

"My bro, between the two of us, we'll get you on that silly bus, and then you're gonna take it for a whirrrrrl.... Now go impress that super-thrilling, wishful-filling, depression killing.... rofl-brining, car park dinging, happy singing, dingalinging.... Stupefying, fortifying, as of Monday, shoelace tying... Stimulating, tiltillating, SpongeBob Squarepants impersonating.... Mega-rocking, pillow-talking, and just a little crooked walking.... Sweetness baking, saddness faking, for some reason, always shaking.... Fascinating, captivating, happiness and joy creatiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.....” My windows break. "Clown of a giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl!" Spike concluded the song.

Ok I guess that song wasn’t too bad. He did pretty good for singing on his own for the first time. I’m proud of him. So I marched right in my shop to set everything up; although, I didn’t want to get my tux all dirty. Trust me, Rarity would pitch a fit if she had to clean it a second time this week, so I got Lyra and Bonnie to do most of the work in setting everything up. “Hey thanks for helping set up my date, sistas. I really appreciate it.” I said.

“Hey we’re just glad that you’re finally going to have a special somepony…. maybe.” Bonnie said.

“So who’s the lucky mare?” Lyra asked.

“Who’s pink and playful and likes to make everypony happy?” I asked.

“Ooo! Ooo! Fiddlesticks? Spark Note? Caramel? The Pony who is obsessed with jelly?” Lyra asked.

“Oh that last one was a good guess!” I said.

“Seriously, Lyra? It’s Pinkie Pie! You didn’t know that?” Bonnie asked.

“How can that be obvious? It’s a hard question.” Lyra said.

“It’s true. Even I wouldn’t be able to guess it, Bonnie.” I admitted.

“Well regardless, congratulations, Flare!” Bonnie said.

“Thanks! So get stuff ready in the kitchen and I’ll be waiting for Pinks.” I said.

“Have fun, bossman!” Lyra said and then they both walked into the kitchen. Just then, the front door opened.

“Oh for holy Wizard of Feelings! It’s time!” I said to myself excitedly. I got my mane ready and I took out my flowers. “Good evening, Pinks!”

“Good evening, Flare!” Spike said in Pinkie’s voice. “I’m ready for a date! How about a kiss?” Spike started making kissing faces at me.

“Spike? What are you doing here?” I asked.

”I came to help out. I also bought the crusaders to help too.” Spike said.

“Hiya, Flare!” Apple Bloom said.

“So we heard you’re dating Pinkie now, huh? Pretty radical, dude!” Scoots said.

“You two will be adorable together!” Sweetie said.

“Thanks!” I said to the crusaders; just then I leaned over to Spike and whispered in his ear, “I thought they were going to sue you for stealing their song?”

“They said they’ll drop all charges if they help out and it would be successful.” Spike whispered back.

“And if you kiss!” Sweetie added.

”Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Who said anything about kissing? Let’s not rush things here.” I said as I blushed.

“But it’ll be sooo cute!” Sweets said.

“Besides, a special somepony can’t be a special somepony without kissin’.” Apple Bloom said.

“To be honest, I disagree with them both.” Scoots said.

“I wouldn’t blame you, Bicycleloo.” I said.

“It’s Scootaloo.” Scoots corrected me.

“Whatever you say, Skataloo.” I said.

“Now take your positions, girls.” Spike said to them. “She should be here any…..”

“HI FLARE!” Pinkie yelled in my ear.

“WHOA, SALAMI!” I yelled.

“What? Didn’t expect to see me here?” Pinkie asked.

“I did, but I didn’t hear the door open. Don’t you ever make noise when you enter a room?” I asked.

”Never thought of that actually. I just enter. Who needs to make noise?” Pinkie asked.

”Good point.” I said. Then Pinkie starts pointing at me. “What are you doing?”

”Pointing at you!” Pinkie said.

“Didn’t yo mama say its not polite to point?” I asked.

“You’re my friend, Flarey! TACKLE HUG!” Pinkie yelled as she glomped me. I lost balance and fell on the floor with Pinkie on top of me, and we both laughed.

“Yeah, I have the feeling this date will totally work out!” Spike said.

“It better, ‘cause then you owe us.” Apple Bloom said, glaring at him.

“Chill, Apple Bloom. I totally know what I’m doing!” Spike said.

“Half of the time you’re not though.” Lyra said.

“Shouldn’t you be cooking?” Spike asked her. So Pinkie and I got up and we sat down on one of the booths.

”Wow, Pinks! You look really pretty tonight!” I said, checking Pinkie out. She looked like she was dressed for the Gala. It seemed she wanted to dress fancy too.

“Well, if you want me to put on my party clothes I could put that on instead.” Pinkie suggested.

“I don’t really care either way. You’d look good either way!” I said.

“Would I also look like Pinkie Pie either way?” Pinkie asked.

“Maybe, maybe not.” I shrugged.

“Oh no! I’M NOT PINKIE!” Pinkie yelled.

“WHAT?! YOU’RE NOT PINKIE!” I yelled. We both started screaming and then I started laughing, but she continued screaming, but then I thought the joke was over, and she thought it was serious, so I wanted to clam her down, and yes I said clam on purpose. “Clam down, Pinkie! Clam down! Yes, you are Pinkie.”

Pinkie calmed down right away, smiling, and said, “Oh I knew that!”

I tilted my head. “Y-you have?”

”Heh! You should’ve seen the look on your face, Flare!” Pinkie laughed at me. “I should’ve brought my camera with me!”

“Here, I can take a pic for you.” I took out my cell phone, brought that facial expression back on my face and took a picture of it. “I’ll text it to you later.”

”Okee dokee lokey!” Pinkie said. “You want to see me blow spit bubbles?”

”Oh that would be awesome! Show me!” I cried in glee. Pinkie started making spit bubbles in front of me. “Cool!”

“Oh, yuck!” Scoots said, feeling grossed out.

“Now, that’s just gross. Who would enjoy that?” Apple Bloom asked. Then they saw Sweetie Belle doing spit bubbles. “Eww, Sweetie Belle!” she complained.

”What? They’re full grown adults, and they’re doing it.” Sweetie said, defending herself.

“So have you seen Rainbow Dash’s double sonic rainboom?” I asked.

“Totally! You should’ve…. <insert plot here>.” Pinkie said. I didn’t want to spoil that video for you all, so I censored it. Watch the video first. I’m about to say what I did during that time in the next part, so if you haven’t seen the video yet, skip the next part. I’ll put in a big line to separate them, alright? Good.

“Well you know what happened to me after that double rainboom happened?” I asked Pinkie. A cutaway shows tight after Rainbow does the double rainboom and destroys the town, I was hiding inside my shop, ducking my head. I got up and saw my shop wasn’t harmed. “HA!” I yelled out. “Like I said, totally indestructible from the outside!”

“But not from the inside!” one of my business rivalries, Boorlie, runs into my shop and placed his backpack inside, and he ran out. “Ha ha ha ha ha!” he teasingly laughed. Then I heard an explosion coming from inside my shop, and my shop gets destroyed by hot cocoa mix from the inside.

“FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” I yelled out. The cutaway ends. Now here’s the other end of the line to stop the spoilers.

“And that was how Equestria was made?” Pinkie asked.

“And that’s how Equestria was made.” I nodded.

“Whoa!” Pinkie said shockingly.

“I know right?” I asked. Spike peeked over to see what was going on.

“Give her the flowers.” He whispered.

“Huh? Oh right.” I said as I gave her the flowers. “Here you go, Pinkie! These are for you!”

Pinkie gasped as her eyes grew. “THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, FLARE!” she yelled happily. “I love them!”

“I’m so happy face that you do!” I said. You may think she ate them, but she just placed them on her mane.

“I love tulips as an appetizer!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“I really thought you were gonna eat them?” I asked.

“I did.” Pinkie said.

“But I still see them on your mane.” I reminded her.

“No you don’t.” Pinkie said as those flowers weren’t there anymore. I swear she’s gotta teach me everything she knows. She just blew my mind.

“Well how about having some garlic rolls?” I suggested.

“Whoa! Wow, you’re making this date fancy, Flare! So fancy that we need TWO forks!” Pinkie said excitingly while looking at the salad fork and the dinner fork.

“Well if you must know that shorter one is a salad fork, and the bigger one is the dinner fork.” I said.

“Is there a cupcake fork?” Pinkie asked.

“Well…. There is a dessert fork, but it comes with the dessert. Not all ponies order dessert here.” I said.

“Aww, why not? Your desserts are super doper delicious!” Pinkie said.

“I know, but they’re more interested in the desserts from Sugarcube Corner.” I said.

Pinkie gasped again. “I work there!”

“I know! Wait, can I axe you something?” I asked.

“You just did, silly!” Pinkie said.

“Alright, can I axe you two more questions?” I asked.

“Sure! What’s question number 2?” Pinkie asked.

“Why do the Cakes let you live there? Are they related to you?” I asked.

“You know what, I HAVE NO IDEA! Why do the Cakes let me live with them? Are they my auntie and uncle?” Pinkie asked.

“I dunno, are they?” I asked.

“If they are, that would be super doper awesome; and that would make Pound and Pumpkin Cake MY COUSINS!” Pinkie yelled.

“WOW! That seems really interesting! Maybe your Nana Pinkie should adopt one of the Cakes, so one of them can be related to one of your parents, and then they’ll be your aunt and uncle.” I suggested.

“Or my Nana Pinkie can adopt one of the Cakes, so what if them can be related to one of my parents, then they’ll be my aunt and uncle!” Pinkie suggested.

“That’s what I just said.” I reminded her.

“But I’m talking about the other Cake, and my other parent!” Pinkie said.

I tilted my head. “What?”

“What?” Pinkie mimicked me. We just sat there quietly and confused for a sec. Spike had to take action.

“I think it’s time for a little entertainment! Go ahead and start, Sweetie Belle!” Spike said.

“Nope! I did the decorating already here already. Scootaloo does the singing!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Oh…. Okay.” Spike said. “Go ahead, Scoots.”

“This one is going to be AWESOME! Just stand back and let the pro show ya how it’s done!” Scoots said walking on stage. “Mare and gentlecolt! Put your hooves together for the amazing, super-thrilling, totally radical, totally awesome, totally 19% cooler (because Rainbow Dash is already 20%), SCOOOOOOOOOOOTALOOOOOOOOO!” Pinkie and I started clapping our hooves, and Pinkie whistles. Scoots counts down and starts shouting and rocking out and singing in a Death Metal-type style. Pinkie and I just watched confusingly, because….. why is she singing a rock song when this is a romantic….. actually, why not? But still, Scootaloo’s singing needs some work, and hey, at least she wasn’t rapping. I’m not a big fan of certain rap. After a while, a trap door opens, and Scoots falls through it.

“What happened to the music? I was having fun!” Pinkie complained. “Flare, what happened?”

”I didn’t set this music just to let you know. I actually thought Octavia was coming.” I said.

“Really? What happened to her?” Pinkie asked. Spike went into the storage room to check on Octavia. Her and her band was all tied up and duct taped in there. Spike then snuck inside the dining room while Pinkie and I were talking.

“You know something, Pinks?” I asked.

“I know a lot of stuff!” Pinkie said.

“I want you to someday to teach me to break the fourth wall.” I requested.

“Oh, well that takes YEARS of training! It ain’t an easy task, Flare. Breaking the fourth wall can be really tough, and not just that, you must break it responsibly.”

“Trust me, I realized that the hard way.” I nodded as I looked outside and saw Steve the Combine Soldier thumbs upping me. I thought he was gone though? Afterwards I was silent for a few moments, and then I asked her the big question; “Pinks? How do you feel about me?”

“That’s a stupid question. You’re super doper fun, and I love you, and you’re a great friend, Flare!” Pinkie said as she tackle hugged me. “TACKLE HUG!”

“Oof!” I said, after she tackle hugged me. I blushed as she was holding me tight, and I chuckled embarrassingly. “Heh, heh! Uhh… roger that.” Spike winked at me on the stage, and then he placed a radio on a stool and then he turned on an instrumental version of ‘I’m Never Gonna Dance Again’. I gasped, and then I whispered; “SPIKE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Trust me!” Spike whispered back.

“Well this is an awkward moment right now.” I said.

“What do you mean, Flare?” Pinkie said, looking at me with a seductive look on her eyes. My heart was pounding and I was really nervous. I mean, I liked it, but…. This is new for me, and I didn’t know Pinkie was much of a lover, more like an all friendship type.

“Well…. Uhhh…. You want to dance, sista?” I asked nervously.

”YES!” Pinkie yelled, and she grabbed my hooves and pulled me up to the stage and we started waltzing.

“Pinkie, this isn’t a waltz song.” I corrected her.

Pinkie raspberried me. “You don’t need a waltz song to do waltz, Flare! Duh!” she said as she continued swinging me around, dancing with me. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle just watched, with big smiles on their faces.

“Awww!” they said.

“Bleh!” Scootaloo said, covered in garbage.

“What happened to you?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“When did Flare install a garbage chute on his stage?” Scoots asked.

“What do ya expect? Those with bad talents are bad eggs and fall into a garbage chute.” Apple Bloom said as she chuckled.

”Right.” Scoots said, nodding. “WAIT, WHAT?!” Then Sweets and Bloom started giggling. Pinkie and I continued dancing to the song, she leaned her head against my shoulder, and I really got nervous, so nervous I laid an easter egg, seriously, and I squaked. Lyra walked over to the easter egg, and opened it. She looked inside, and saw the easter egg prize inside, and she smiled.

“Yippie! A pay rise!” Lyra shouted happily.

Bon Bon gasped. “HEY! Where’s my pay raise?!” I then laid another easter egg and it rolled to Bonnie. She smiled big and opened it. She looked inside, and then she glared at it. “Two bits off my next haircut. Gee, thanks.” She said sarcastically.

“Flare’s right, you need to get that mane cut.” Lyra pointed out. “I mean look at it, it looks like a witch’s lawn. We zoom in closer to Bonnie’s mane and there were witches brewing up something. There were even ghosts, spiders, and little jack ‘o lanterns in her mane. Maybe we should’ve done the Nightmare Night chapter inside Bonnie’s mane. It would’ve been way cheaper than renting out Canterlot Manor for the chapter.

So Pinkie and I reached to the conclusion of the song, I and Pinkie throw me into the air and caught me just as the song ended. “Wow, Pinkie! That was a great dance! It feels like the dance you gave to Aqua at the royal wedding.”

“Oh I loved the royal wedding! That’s when we met Psyche!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

“Whoa, whoa, Pinkie, this is a dinner-date; talking about Psyche seems a little inappropriate for this, doncha think?” I asked.

“Dinner is served!” Lyra said as she served our dinner and placed it on the table.

“YIPPIE! FOOD!” Pinkie cried out as she hopped back to the table. I hopped along just to amuse her.

“You really like my pizza, don’t ya Pinks?” I asked her.

“Normally I like dessert pizza, but regular pizza is delish too!” Pinkie said.

“It’s too bad we got pastas though.” I said. Pinkie chuckled.

“C’mon you silly, melon head! Let’s eat!” Pinkie said. I sat down across from her. I took my fork and started eating my spaghetti and the shroomy-shroom-shrooms that were in it. Pinkie just dumped her face in her fettuccini alfredo and started gobbling it up.

“I see how much you less then three fettuccini alfredos.” I said and chuckled.

Pinkie giggled. “I have no idea what that is, but I’m assuming this is something banana cream flavored!”

“You nearly ate it all. You haven’t tasted it yet?” I asked.

“Oh I tasted it, and it tastes cheesy! I’m just hoping its banana flavored!” Pinkie giggled and continued eating. I was confused of what she said. She said it tastes cheesy, but she hopes its banana flavored? Now I’m not as random as Pinkie, but I get her completely, I know how she is, I’ve been there. Spike immediately threw a book at me.

“OW!” I yelled.

“Read to poem to her.” Spike whispered to me.

”Did you have to throw a book at me though?” I asked.

“Oh throwing books are fun! That’s what I do at Twilight’s house while she’s away at Canterlot!” Pinkie said.

“WAIT! That was you?!” Spike asked. “I had to clean up that mess every time! You know how much of a pain in the flank it is to clean that up?! YOU’RE UNBELIEVEABLE, PINKIE!”

“HEY! Don’t talk like that to Pinkie!” I yelled at Spike as I marched towards him. “Let me tell you something, mister!” I poked at his chest. “I’ve waited so long to get a special somepony! Pinkie is my last chance to get one, and I will NOT let you ruin that for me! Pinkie is very funny, very nice, and she’s very important to me! I will not stand and see ‘my bro’ Spike hurting her feelings because I will do all I must to keep her happy, and there’s nothing ANYPONY can do….” I inhaled because I lost my breath after talking that much without breathing. “TO STOP ME! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR…… BRAH?!”

“You just solved the last piece of the puzzle, my friend.” Spike said as he smiled at me.

“What you talking about?” I asked. I turned around and I saw Pinkie right behind me, with a shocking look on her face.

Scootaloo chuckled. “Busted!” Apple Bloom then shushed her, and then Scootaloo shushed her back. They kept shushing at each other until Sweetie Belle says ‘CHOO CHOO!’

“Pinks….. I…. I can explain.” I said.

“No need to explain, Flare Gun!” Pinkie yelled at me.

“Wait, Pinkie! I…. probably didn’t think any of that was true.” I said nervously.

“Yes you did.” Spike said, smirking.

“SHUT UP, SPIKE! I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” I yelled at him. Pinkie grabs my tuxedo, pulls me towards her, and gives me a big kiss. My eyes grew big. I can’t believe that.

“That meant so much to me, Flarey! Nopony has ever said that to me before.” Pinkie said with a big smile on her face. She looked like she was about to cry, but she didn’t.

“I would’ve liked that even more if you didn’t pull on my tuxedo.” I said as my face was frozen in shock.

“This was certainly a great night, Flare! I would totally like to have so much more with you!” she winks at me and takes a to-go box, puts her food in it, and walks near the door. “I would love to be your special somepony, Flare! Really I would! Now, I’d love to stay, but I promised Candy Cotton a party so… BYE!” Pinkie hopped out of my shop and sang as she hopped home. Crème happened to be standing out there, and she noticed Pinkie hoping out so happily.

“Could it be….” Crème said shockingly, but then she chuckled. “Nah! She’s always happy. Well, it’s my turn to shine!” Crème walked into my shop to see me, and I was still standing there, frozen like a statue…. or carved in stone like a…. ice cube. Wait…. eh nevermind. Meanwhile, Spike was leaning on a table, drinking a soda.

“You’ve done well, Spike ol boy! You’ve done well!” Spike said to himself.

“Hey, Flare! Hey, Spike!” Crème said walking towards us.

“Hey, Crème! Sorry, Flare can’t hear you, he’s frozen in shockness.” Spike said.

“Oh, alright. I mean…. I know he hasn’t found a special somepony yet, so I think it’s time for Flare to ask ME out!” Crème said.

“Say what?” Spike said confusingly.

”Well…. Can you keep a secret?” Crème looked around and then she leaned over to Spike to whisper to him, but she halted for a moment and asked him out loud, “Wait, is anypony here?”

“The crusaders just left, they were going to cancel my lawsuit. Lyra and Bon Bon are in the back cleaning up. So don’t worry, they can’t hear us.” Spike said.

”Well…. I actually…. Have a slight crush on Flare.” Crème whispered to Spike.

“Aww, that’s nice!” Spike said as he nodded, but then he had a shocking look on his face. “Say what now?”

“I have a crush on Flare; I have been since I first met hi.! I wanted to wait until he was done with his dates. If I was too late, I… I don’t know what I would do.” Crème said sadly.

“Well, uhhh….” Spike didn’t what to say. I wasn’t able to hear her because Pinkie’s kiss froze me solid, and all I was thinking about was her now being my special somepony.

“Tell me Spike! Was this date successful?” Crème asked nervously as she started shaking him. “TELL ME! Please tell me was the date successful?!”

“Well.... uhhh….” Spike thought it out.

“TELL ME!” Crème yelled at Spike.

”No, no it wasn’t.” Spike lied to her.

“Oh… phew! That’s a relief.” Crème said as she wiped her sweat.

“But…. After this date, h-he said he didn’t want to do anymore dating for a while.” Spike said to her.

“Oh… I see.” Crème said, nodding, and then she smiled. “Well…. I’ll be patient about it. I’m sure Flare is feeling pretty bad right now and I’ll give him some time. It would explain why he’s frozen solid right now in shock.”

”I’m glad you understand.” Spike said with a smile.

“But will you please do me a favor, Spike?” Crème asked.

“Of course, Crème! Anything!” Spike said.

“When Flare is ready for dating, you’d know right?” Crème asked.

“Flare tells me everything like I’m his personal diary.” He said.

“Please let me know if he’s ready, and suggest me to him, so I’ll be the first. Please, Spike?” Crème begged.

“Of course, Crèmepop!” Spike said as he smiled at her.

“Thanks, Spike.” Crème smiled at him back. “I’ll see you both later.” Crème then started humming and skipping out of the shop. Spike then frowned.

”Great… now I have to keep Crème away from Flare and Pinkie together just to keep her from being sad. It ain’t gonna be easy, that’s for sure.” Spike said.

“What was that, brah?” I asked as I was finally unfrozen.

“Oh, nothing. How you feeling, Flare?” Spike asked me.

“Really good! I’m feeling a feeling I have never felt before!” I said. “I feel…. I feel….” Just then, I started swinging my arms up and down singing Numa Numa. Spike chuckled to himself, and then he became nervous. “I’m in love Spike! I’m in love!”

“I know! You’re in love with Pinkie now and you two are in a relationship! I’m so proud of you, Flare, and I helped!” Spike said.

“Huh? Oh... yeah. I’m amazed to be Pinkie’s special somepony now, but that’s not the only thing I’m in love with.” I said.

“What else are you in love with then?” Spike asked.

“Th-that… that…” I stuttered.

“Those beautiful eyes?” Spike asked.

“Th-that… that….” I stuttered again.

“That glorious mane?” Spike aksed.

“Th-that…”

“That romantic comedic effect?”

“Th-that…”

“That magnificent-“

“SPIKE WILL YOU LET ME TALK?!” I yelled at him.

“Oh… sorry.” He said.

“That accordion she had! I saw her play an awesome red accordion just as I asked her out!” I said.

“Excuse me?” Spike asked.

“I miss my accordion, man.” I said sadly. “I miss the power of polka on my side!”

“It’s ok, Flare, but look on the bright side – you have Pinkie Pie now. You two will make a great couple, I assure you!” Spike said.

“You’re right, Spike, and thanks for everything.” I said.

“Any time, bro!” Spike said.

“Hey, this date turned out perfect! She left me all the garlic rolls! I guess it’s more leftovers for me then! I should go on more dates that include me having all the leftovers.” I said excitedly.

The next day went by and as I was saying my note to Princess Luna, I was walking in the snowy park with my new special somepony, Pinkie Pie. “Dear Princess Luna, Great news! I got a new special somepony! You may know her as the Element of lawl, Pinkie Pie! But special thanks to my great friend Spike, he stood by my side until the end. He never gave up on me! He knew I’d find the perfect date, but he’s been following me a lot; Pinkie says he’s following him too, Crème as well. I have no idea what he’s up to, but I’ll find that out later. Also…. I’m going to get a TON of bad emails saying it’s wrong for an OC and a canon pony to date. Well you know what? Everypony has their own opinions. Who knows if this relationship is going to last forever? Maybe I’ll break up with her. But…. I’m sure it won’t have to come to that! Pinkie and I will be together forever! Your loyal friend, Flare Gun!”

Later that day, just as Crèmepop was about to walk into my shop, Pinkie was at my shop too and I was currently flirting with her, and Spike kept stalling Crème for some reason and he didn’t even let her in until Pinkie left. Hmm…. what is that little dragon up to? Oh well, that’s something we can talk about another time.

Meanwhile, just as Doctor Whooves unlocked the doors to his TARDIS and went inside, he tried to turn on his lights but when he turns them on, he sees writing all over his walls saying 'Traitor', or 'Cheater', or something similar to that. The Doctor was feeling pretty nervous but then he sees Derpy sitting in front of his TARDIS. "Oh, Ditzy! What are you doing here?" the Doctor asked, but Derpy didn't answer; she just kept mumbling to herself. "Uhh, Ditzy?" Derpy turned to him with a crazy cross-eyed look on her face while dramatic music plays in the background, kinda like the Dramatic Chipmunk video on YouTube, and from that day forward, the Doctor was never heard from again. At least until his next appearance though.

Eye of the Draconian

View Online

It was a nice cold winter day on this day. Heh! I said ‘day’ twice! The little ponies were playing in the snow, but not all of them! My buddy Blaze Goldheart, with his wife Rainbow Dash was currently teaching his little 5 year old sister-in-law, Candy Cotton, some possum grade awesome flying tricks! Candy was feeling a bit scared, but stood tall to prove that she was brave. "C'mon, Candy! You can do it!" her sister Rainbow Dash yelled.

"You're doing fine, Candy!" Blaze said in encouragement.

"Candy, I did a sonic rainboom at the age of 8! If I can do tricks in my youth, I'm sure you can too!" Rainbow said in fierce to her.

"Umm, okay I'll try." she said. She looked down and saw the cloud rings she had to go through. She took a deep breath, put on her goggles and then started flying down, screaming. She goes through the first ring with no problems, and then she does a few twists and turns before she goes through the second one.

"Keep going, Candy!" Blaze shouts. Candy does a few flips before going into the third one, and she nearly flies into the last checkpoint.

"This is it, Blaze! All she has to do is do some sort of sonic boom, and she'll be, like, THE MOST AWESOME SISTER EVER!" Rainbow yelled.

"GO FOR IT, CANDY!!!" Blaze shouts at the top of his voice. Candy started flying down really fast and it looked like she was about to break the sound barrier, but Rainbow got really worried. Like, what if she wasn't successful? What if her wing cramps? She's only a filly after all. Candy was screaming as she was flying down; Rainbow heard the scream, and sprang into action.

"CANDY! DON'T WORRY, I'M COMING!" Rainbow yelled. She flew down and chased her. Candy was going really fast, but Rainbow was going even faster. She chased her down real fast, and was just about to grab her. Once Rainbow grabbed her, Rainbow did a sonic rainboom as she flew back up to Blaze.

"What happened?!" Blaze asked worryingly.

"WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!" Candy yelled at Rainbow.

"You were in trouble! You're only a filly! Maybe I shouldn've gotten you to do this." Rainbow said as she shook her head.

"I WAS FINE, SIS! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO DO A SONIC BOOM UNTIL YOU WENT IN THE WAY!" Candy yelled at her.

"You were screaming!" Rainbow argued with her.

"Yeah, with excitement." Candy argued back.

"Girls! Please!" Blaze stood in between them. "Stop arguing! It breaks my heart!"

"Tell Rainbow to stop being so overprotected!" Candy shouted.

"I was only thinking about your safety!" Rainbow said.

"I can take care of myself, Dash!" Candy said angrily at her.

"Enough!" Blaze pounded his hoof on the ground. Rainbow and Candy both got startled because Blaze doesn't usually lose his temper like that.

"Blaze.... are you okay?" Rainbow asked.

"You two only just got back together and I don't want you to ruin that!" Blaze said angrily.

"I know, Blaze, but I can take care of myself! Next thing you know, she'll be putting pads all over my body!" Candy said. When she said 'putting' it sounds like she said 'pudding' doesn't it? Oh great, now I'm hungry!

"If you're not careful enough, it might come to that." Rainbow said.

"I said, ENOUGH!" Blaze shouted again.

"Sweet Luna, Blaze!" Candy said. Blaze was blowing steam, but he started to calm down.

"I'm sorry, I've just been stressed out lately." he said.

"What's wrong, Blaze?" Candy asked.

"Rainbow and I have been getting bills for the house and if we don't pay by the end of the month, they'll kick us out." Blaze said worryingly.

"Not even his stupid Wonderbolt shows are good enough to pay our debt." Rainbow said.

"RAINBOW?!" Blaze yelled.

"Wait.... did I just say that?" Rainbow asked.

"I think the stress is effecting you too, babe." Blaze said. Rainbow was really shocked and embarrassed. Wow, you should see the look on her face right now! I should've seen the look on her face! "We're gonna be kicked out of our house! I'll never find a way to make five-hundred thousand bits in a month!"

"FIVE-HUNDRED THOUSAND BITS?! HOW DID YOU GET INTO DEBT THIS MUCH?!" Candy asked.

"We bought a big house." Blaze said.

"Excuse me, it was MY house first. I bought the big house." Rainbow reminded him.

"Why though?" Blaze asked.

"The best flyer in Equestria needs to live in style, you know?" Rainbow said.

Blaze sighed. "Look, Rainbow, take Candy home. I'm going to see Flare to see if he has any ideas."

"Well.... alright, but how do you think he's going to help?" Candy asked.

"Remember the Fall Festival, Candy? Flare helped AppleJack get out of debt using the fair; maybe Flare might have another idea!" Rainbow suggested.

Blaze nods. "Exactly! I'll see you two later; I got some money to make!" he said as he flies off to my shop.

"He talks like money grows on trees." Candy said.

"Money does grow on trees though, that's where our money comes from." Rainbow said.

"What?” Candy asked.

“This is Equestria, Candy! Anything can happen! Just then, Rainbow Dash suddenly places a record player needle on a record with a train on top of it, and surrounding the record player was a city. This scene then shows a humongous Rainbow Dash standing in the middle of a city with buildings and bass speakers all over the place, and the clouds all had strings attached to it. Just then the giant Rainbow Dash begins walking on a road bridge while the song ‘Suddenly I See’ sung by KT Tunstall begins playing in the background. A giant camera then suddenly pops out from on top of one of the buildings as the song progressed and it showed footage of Rainbow Dash playing a guitar on a park bench next to a dog and a train set. I’m sure you can see how this is going if you watch MTV… or better saying, watched MTV years ago they had music worth listening.

“I think I overdosed on something after seeing that.” Candy commented.

Meanwhile, Blaze heads over to my shop to see if I can figure out ideas to help get Blaze some money. He goes inside to look for me. "Flare? You here, brah?" he asked around, but I was nowhere to be seen. "FLARE!? I need your help!" There was still no answer. He looks behind the counter to see Lyra and Bon Bon watching a video on an android.

"When did this happen? I would never kill humans or eat their hands!" Lyra said shockingly.

"Lyra, Bon Bon, have you seen Flare? I need his help." Blaze asked them.

"He's outside, playing in the snow." Bonnie said.

"Alright, thanks!" Blaze said as he started to walk outside.

"What? Those are not our voices! I never said 'Lyra' like that!" Bon Bon said.

"Hmm, but we do look good in hats though." Lyra said. Blaze goes outside to find me playing in the snow.

"SNOW ANGEL!" I yelled out as I fell in the snow, laughing real hard, and wiggling my hooves back in fourth really fast.

"Flare, I need your help." Blaze said.

I stood up and checked on my snow angel, but it turns out to be just a circle. "Oh. Sad face." I said.

"Flare, I need your help." Blaze repeated.

"Hey Blaze, have you been in the snow before?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I have, but that's not important right now, I need your help." he said.

"You know, this is the first time I've been in snow. Now it's colder than I predicted, but still.... I missed out. It never snowed in Mareami, but we did get more rain than any other cities." I said.

"Yeah I know, but Flare I need your help." he repeated.

"You should've seen that snowpony I made with Pinkie! Did ya hear she's my special somepony now?" I asked him with a big smile on my face.

"Yeah, that's great we should have a double date sometime, but FLARE! I NEED YOUR HELP!" he raised his voice a bit.

I gasped with excitement. "Yes we should double date! When do you and Rainbow want to meet us, and where?" I asked.

"FLARE! I NEED YOUR HELP!" he yelled at me.

"Holy Wizard of Hope, brah! What in Luna's name is it?" I asked.

"Rainbow and I are in debt on our house... if I don't make Five-hundred thousand bits by the end of the month, they'll throw us out on the streets!" Blaze freaked out.

"Alright, Blaze, can you repeat that, but more calmly?" I asked. “Think of little puppies. That’s what gets me feeling better.”

“You hate dogs.” Blaze reminded me.

“Puppies aren’t dogs, they’re puppies.” I corrected him.

Blaze calmed down and sighed. "Ok... I’m calm… Rainbow and I are in debt on our house. If I don't make five-hundred thousand bits by the end of the month, they'll throw us out on the streets.”

"And that's nothing to worry about. The end of the month is a long way away. It's only the start of December. It's nearly Hearth's Warming! So relax, brah! You'll get the money in time!" I said. "How about a Winter Festival? The Fall Festival worked with AppleJack!"

"No, there's not enough time." Blaze said.

"You could work for me extra; I can pay ya the money." I said.

"No, it's ok. I'm not putting you in dept so you can help me." Blaze said.

"I own a famous pizza joint! I'll get out of debt in a week!" I said.

"No, I can't do it to a friend." Blaze said.

"Good, 'cause I wasn't gonna pay ya anyway." I said. Blaze shook his head and sighed, but then something caught his eye when he saw a wall nearby.

"THAT'S IT!" he said excitedly.

"What's it? You're gonna be a wall?" I asked.

"No! Look! The poster!" Blaze said and he starts reading the poster to me. "Fighting is Magic: Professional fighting! Compete in the match against the current champion! If you can beat him, you earn Championship status, and win the Prize Money of Five-Hundred Thousand Bits!"

"THAT'S PERFECT! You can work there as a janitor! That'll get you your money!" I said.

"No! I'm gonna fight against the Champion!" Blaze said.

"LAWL! Blaze, you're such a silly little Pooh bear!" I teased, not believing him.

"You're not a fighter, you're a flyer!" I said. "Oh, listen to that, those words sounded similar."

"The Wonderbolts double as a military unit, bro." Blaze reminded me.

"The Wonderbolts are not fighters, brah. I don't see them fighting anything but clouds." I said.

"Thats because we keep our missions classified, but your right, I do need training." Blaze said.

"Bro, you need alot more than training. You need a coach, a supplier..." I raise my voice in the next part and close to his face. "....A MANAGER!"

"That's great! You'll be my manager, Flare!" Blaze said.

"Oh.... well.... if you think I'm up to it." I said as I smiled and winking at you, the readers.

"I know you can handle it! As your first official act as my manager, I want you to find me a trainer, and the Noble Six can help too!" Blaze said.

"HA! Are you kidding?" I started to laugh. "The Noble Six can't help you fight! Psyche's a weakling, Engie's an engineer, Aqua's too nice, and Crystal's a girl."

"I mean they can be my corner team! They give me water and put ice packs on my cuts and bruises in between rounds! They can even help me train!" Blaze explained.

"But Psyche is a weakling, Engie's an engineer, Aqua is too nice, and Crystal's a girl." I repeated.

"They won't actually fight!" Blaze said.

"But Psyche's a weakling, Engie's...." I repeated.

"DUDE!" Blaze interrupted me. "THEY WON'T ACTUALLY FIGHT!"

"But Psyche-" I was about to repeat.

"THEY WON'T ACTUALLY FIGHT!" Blaze cuts me off again.

"I know they won't fight!" I said. "But I'm just saying, Psyche's a weakling, Engie's an en......"

"I get it, man, but I'm desprite!" Blaze said. "Just find me a trainer."

"You got it, brah! I know just the trainer! Follow me!" I instructed him. So the both of us went over to the Ponyville Trainstation and we stepped onto the platform. There was currently no train here yet. "Your trainer should arrive any minute now." I said as I checked my watch. We both sat down on the bench, waiting for the train to arrive. "Hey Blaze?"

"Yeah?" he said.

"When did I start wearing a watch?" I asked. Blaze then suddenly facehooves himself. "That doesn't answer my question."

"I don't know, man." he said.

"So how's Rainbow and Candy?" I asked.

"They're fine." he said.

"Are they getting along well?" I asked.

Blaze nods. "For the most part."

"That's good, but you know what's weird? I see Rainbow gaining more and more weight each week." I said.

"What do you mean? She seems fine to me." Blaze said. "Except she keeps getting sick every morning."

"She's gotta lay off the cheetos." I said. "Hey, you know what else is weird? The trainstation is right here in Ponyville, but we have to go 10 miles across the interstate to get to the airport. Why can't there be an airport right here? In Mareami, you don't have to drive through the interstate to get to the airport."

"Oh look, there's the train!" Blaze pointed to the train that's approaching the station.

"You didn't answer my airport question." I said.

"I don't know man, I just do not know." Blaze said. So we both walked up to the train engine, and I knock on the door. Diesel, the train conductor opens the door and said, "Heya Flare!"

"What's up, Diesel?" I asked him.

"Not much, just going for another trip to the Crystal Empire. What's up with you?" he asked.

"My friend Blaze here needs a trainer, so I came to you." I said as I placed my arm around Blaze.

"Ya gone darn done the right choice, buddy! I'm the best trainer in all of Equestria!" Diesel said.

"What?" Blaze said in confusion.

"This is the trainer I was telling you about. You wanted a train, and here he is. He runs this train." I said.

"Wha-NO!" Blaze yelled. "NOT A TRAIN ENGINEER! I MEAN A FIGHTING TRAINER!"

"Oooooooooh! I get it." I nodded. "Sorry, Diesel."

"Eh, no problem. If ya need a ride, you'll know who to call." Diesel said.

Ghost busters?" I asked.

"Yer funny." he said.

You're funny looking." I said. Diesel then shook his head and closed the engine door.

"Ok, now I need a fighting trainer." Blaze said to me.

"Alright, if you want a trainer that fights, you'll have to wait until the train from Baltimare comes. That engineer sometimes fights changelings at his free time." I said.

"I don't want a train engineer! I want a fighting coach!" Blaze shouted. "THAT'S not what I mean by fighting trainer!"

"Well why didn't ya say so?" I asked and laughed. "Come with me to the bus station. I know of a great fighting coach!"

Blaze nodded. "Finally!"

So he follows me over to the bus station. We went up to a big white bus coach with a blue stripe going across it that says 'Mareatron'. "Here we are!" I said to Blaze. "Not only is this a bus coach, it's also an..... Undercover transformer." I whispered.

"Shhh! Don't give me away!" the bus coach whispered to me.

"Don't worry, Mareatron! He's cool!" I said.

"DUDE! NO TRAINS, NO BUSSES! I WANT SOMEOME WHO CAN HELP ME WIN THE FIGHT AGAINST THE CHAMPION!" Blaze yelled.

"But you'd be lucky to be training with a transformer!" I said as I winked at him.

"I don't train, Flare. I keep the peace. I protect pony-kind." Mareatron said.

"Well, don't say we didn't try." I shrugged.

"Ok. It's clear you’re no help in finding a trainer, so I will get one myself." Blaze said as he began to fly away.

"Wait! Don't you want to see Mareatron in action?" I yelled out for him.

"Ah, it's too late, he's gone." Mareatron said.

"It would seem so, Mareatron." I said to him. Mareatron then suddenly transforms from a bus into a transformer. "Auto-bots.... roll out." Mareatron says as he stomps away, setting off a bus alarm while he's at it from all the noise. I know what you're all thinking, Mareatron is named after Megatron, a Decepticon. Well I couldn't find a good pony name for Optimus Prime, sorry.

So Blaze flies on home, sits on his sofa, and turns on the TV. He flips through the channels to find anything interesting on but at the same time eating ice cream straight from the tub like what most depressed ponies do. “We now return to Grand Theft Otto.” The TV announcer said. On the TV, it shows Otto from Rocket Power throwing a kid off a skateboard and stealing it as the cops chase him.

Meanwhile, Blaze starts getting angry because Rainbow and Candy were arguing in the other room on whether it is safe for Candy to use a butter knife. I mean, really, a BUTTER KNIFE, the dullest of all knives! Blaze groans and walks into the kitchen to attempt to stop the argument. "What's going on here?" Blaze asked.

"Rainbow won't let me use a butter knife!" Candy complained.

"It's not safe for a filly her age." Rainbow said.

"To be fair, that knife is pretty dull." Blaze said.

"See? SEE?!" Candy yelled in Rainbow's face. "A dull knife; can't do any harm."

"But what if you put it in your mouth like what most little fillies do?" Rainbow asked.

"I'M NOT A LITTLE FILLY ANYMORE, DASH!" Candy yelled.

"I am in no mood to hear you two arguing!" Blaze said, starting to lose his patience.

"Fine, but if my sister starts doing dangerous stuff again, I'll have to use discipline." Rainbow promised.

"Now, please, while I think of a way to keep us from being kicked out onto the streets, be quieter." Blaze instructed them. “I swear, you two are as stubborn as a clock!”

A cutaway shows a clock going up to a buffet. “Hey, Clock, you already ate already!” a lamp said to the clock.

“But Lamp, you know how much I like going back ‘for seconds’.” The clock said. Yeah that was terrible, but my dad just told me that joke just as I was writing this and now I just added it in. No h8 pls. The cutaway ends.

“So please, both of you calm down while I think of a way to save us from being homeless!” Blaze demanded.

They both sighed and said, "Fine."

"I love you Rainbow." Blaze said to Rainbow, kissing her on the lips. "You too, Candy." He nuzzles her forehead and then he walks back into the living room.

“Why do you get to have a kiss and I don’t?” Candy complained.

So Blaze starts flipping through channels again, eating the ice cream. "I need to find a trainer, and Flare is no help." Just then, Rainbow and Candy start arguing in the kitchen again.

“Candy! Put that duct tape down this instant!" Rainbow ordered her.

"I need it to finish this picture I'm making!" Candy yelled.

"It's not safe! You can peel your fur off.” Rainbow yelled.

"MAKE ME!" Candy yelled.

"LET GO OF THE TAPE, CANDY!" Rainbow ordered her.

"YOU LET GO!" Candy ordered her.

"Grrr! What have I told them?" Blaze said angrily as he was about to give up, but then the TV interrupted him.

“Don't get out of that chair!” a voice on the TV demanded.

“Huh?” Blaze said, looking at the TV.

“Hi, I'm Iron Will! Physical fitness trainer and fighting expert! You're gonna- WOOP POW! Be the toughest fighter in all of Equestria!” Iron WIll on TV said.

“Yes...yes! This is it!” Blaze said excitingly.

“Why you may ask? You ask why, I petrify!” Iron Will continued. “Iron Will can help you became a champion wrestler! Iron Will can help the chicks dig you up, son! You can even fight Discord, Chrysalis, and Sombra at the same time when I'm done with ya!”

“What do I have to do to contact his guy?” Blaze asked.

“Call me: 555-IRON! You’ll need a new phone though if you’re going to dial letters into your phone, but if you have the right phone, call now, or go down!” Iron Will said. Blaze picks up the phone and immediately dials the number, but as it rings, Rainbow and Candy continue arguing in the other room. “Hi, this is Iron Will!” Iron Will said on the phone.

“Yes, Iron Will?” Blaze started. “I will like-”

“Iron Will is currently unavailable right now; please leave a message and your name, and I’ll be back on the game!” Iron Will’s answering machine said. Blaze groaned and continuously slammed his head on the wall and he started screaming, but he needed to take my advice as he was yelling, I immediately change the scene to many pictures of cute little puppies while the word ‘de-stressing’ flashes in the middle of the screen as sooth relaxing music plays in the background.

The next morning comes by and Blaze heads over to the gym and waits for Iron Will to show up. Over at the gym was a bunch of hunky ponies lifting weights, using the treadmills and more; the ponies included Bulk Biceps of course, and even Leisure Suit Larry was there lifting some weights, until he lost his grip and it fell on his hoof. “Y’OW!” he cried as his hoof began to swell up.

Blaze was currently wearing a head-band, a white tank top, and blue shorts, doing some stretching exercises, but while he was stretching, he sees Fluttershy doing some wing-ups on a mat. “Oh hey, Fluttershy!” Blaze geeted her.

“Oh.... hey, Blaze!” Fluttershy said.

“What are you doing here?” Blaze asked.

“I have to stretch it out. I have to be ready to look after the animals, Blaze. I need to be fit and ready.” Flutters said as she trotted in place. “Need to be strong in order to make sure they don’t get hurt.”

“Oh, that’s good!” Blaze said.

“Mind if I ask what you’re doing here? Well.... if you do mind, that’s.... okay.” Flutters said.

“I’m about to train with my new trainer!” Blaze said.

“Oh really? What for?” Flutters asked.

“Rainbow and I are in debt, so I’m going to enter in Fighting is Magic as soon as I get myself into shape.” Blaze said.

“Oh, well, do be careful, Blaze!” Flutters said. “I hear these fights are… awfully painful and dangerous.”

“Umm… I live dangerous, Flutters.” Blaze said.

“So do I, pretty lady.” Austin Powers said as he seductively looked at Fluttershy.

“Don’t worry, Flutters. I’ll be careful, thanks!” Blaze said.

“So who’s your trainer?” Flutters asked.

“Iron Will.” Blaze said.

“Oh, that’s good.” Flutters said with a smile, but then her smile went away fast. “Wait, you’re training with.... who now?” Just then, Iron Will kicks through the gym doors and marches inside.

“Iron Will’s the name, training ponies is my game!” Iron Will said with his thumbs up and a sparkle on his teeth.

“YES! You got my call!” Blaze said happily.

“Eeep!” Flutters got scared and hid.

“Oh don’t mind her.” Blaze said to Iron Will. “I’m Blaze Goldheart!” Blaze stuck his hoof out, wanting to shake his hand.

“Pleasure to meet ya, Mr. Goldheart. I’m Iron Will! I’m here to get you ready for Fighting is Magic!” Iron Will said, grabbing Blaze’s hoof real tight and shaking it.

“AAAH-yeah, yeah.” Blaze said in pain. Iron Will lets go of his hoof, and it started glowing as it healed itself.

“Hmm, that’s strange.” Iron Will said, observing Blaze’s glowing hoof.

“Huh? Oh, this is natural.” Blaze said.

“Hooves aren’t supposed to glow like that. Are ya radioactive or somethin?” Iron Will asked as he snorted, much like what Swinebutt does.

“No, I have phoenix powers.” Blaze said.

“Ya do, huh? Well let Iron Will tell ya this son, those powers will really come in handy in the competition!” Iron Will said, poking his stomach.

“Ow! Uh, yeah, right.” Blaze said.

“Only weak ponies say ‘ow’ like that!” Iron Will yelled. “You say ‘ow’, I GO POW! NOW DROP, AND GIVE ME 50!”

“What?” Blaze asked.

“Make that 500.” Iron Will instructed him. Blaze rolled his eyes and started doing the 500 push-ups. Fluttershy was hiding behind the punching bags, just watching Blaze struggle to do those push-ups.

“I can’t watch!” Flutters said as she covered her eyes, but then, the Bulk Biceps walks by her, and then he suddenly punches the punching bag Fluttershy is hiding behind.

“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!” Bulk cried out.

“Ouch.” Flutters said softly, holding her chest. After Blaze did his push-ups, he was taking his breaths.

"Feeling tired, Goldheart?" Iron Will asked.

"No way! I feel like I can take on anything!" Blaze yelled.

"Good! Now, let's see how good you can do on your hooves! I want you to sprint around Ponyville without stopping! You stop, you start over!" Iron Will instructed.

"Yes sir! Wait...sprint? As in...without my wings?" Blaze asked.

"GO! SPRINT! NO WATER! NO STOP! JUST SPRINT!" Iron Will ordered him.

"Ew! Say it, don't spray it!" Blaze said, wiping his face.

"MOVE!" Iron Will ordered him.

"YES, SIR!" Blaze yelled, as he then ran out of the gym and started sprinting all around town. He wasn't getting tired out yet.

When Blaze was out of the gym for a few minutes, Flutters decided to join him. She flew next to Blaze, Flutters flew to him, looking worried. "Um, Blaze? May I speak to you for a second?" Flutters asked him.

"Sorry, Fluttershy!" Blaze said as he panted. "I can't stop and talk right now."

"I know, but you see, this is actually important." Flutters said.

"Sorry Flutters, can't talk!" Blaze said, as he continued running.

"But Blaze?" Flutters kept getting his attention.

"Gotta keep running! Can't talk, sorry!" Blaze said as he ran ahead of her. “Gotta go fast… gotta go fast.”

"But...." Blaze ran too far ahead of her, so Flutters just gave up and landed back on the ground and closed her eyes, and then she said to herself; "You don't know what he's capable of." Blaze runs so fast that he runs into a couple of ponies, physically, including Aqua whom was trying to do a water spell. Aqua spins around and falls with his eyes rolling around.

Blaze looks back and yells; "Sorry!"

“Ugh, no worries mate.” Aqua said as he started rubbing his head.

Eventually, Blaze makes it back to the gym with Iron Will. "I'm impressed, boy!" Iron Will said as he nodded.

Blaze continued panting. "Yeah..... thanks....."

"But you ran away before I could tell you, you have to grab all the flags around town as you run." Iron Will explained, showing Blaze the map of the flag locations he hid around town.

"WHAT?!" Blaze yelled.

"DO IT AGAIN!" Iron Will ordered him.

"NO! I already did it once!" Blaze shouted at him.

"Uh huh. I see." Iron Will said, nodding. "Then Iron Will guesses you don't want to win Fighting is Magic after all. So Iron will be on my way then." he starts walking out.

"No, wait! I didn't mean it by that!" Blaze begged for him to stay.

"No, no, you said you didn't need Iron Will’s help, and you're gonna lose Fighting is Magic. So, ta ta!" Iron Will said, upsettingly, but faked it.

"No, wait! It's for my family!" Blaze yelled. Iron Will turned back, and walked towards Blaze.

"Then if you're outta win the championship, you'll do exactly as Iron Will says, when he says it! Got it?" Iron Will asked him.

"Yes, sir..." Blaze said.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Iron Will yelled at Blaze’s face with a megaphone so loud that Blaze’s mane was messed up.

"YES SIR!" Blaze yelled.

"THEN GO! HUP-2, HUP-2! GO, GO, GO! AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU HAVE ALL THE FLAGS!" Iron Will yelled at him. So Blaze ran outside and sprinted towards the first flag. While Blaze was on his way back, it turned dusk, and he runs into Aqua once again whom was trying to do that water spell again.

“Sorry again, Aqua!” Blaze yelled.

“If ya were sorry, ya wouldn’t keep runnin’ into me.” Aqua said.

Blaze heads back into the gym, all tired out, carrying all the flags; he then limps towards Iron Will, and collapsed on the ground. Iron Will takes a look at the flags, and then he said, "You're missing one."

"S-SERIOUSLY?!" Blaze yelled.

Iron Will laughed. "No, not seriously. You did well, Goldheart! HA! You should've seen the look on your face when I said that!"

"Oh.... I.... get it.... ha ha...." Blaze said feeling really tired.

"That's enough for today. Be back here at 5 AM SHARP tomorrow!" Iron Will ordered him.

"YES SIR!" Blaze yelled, but when he made his first step, he collapsed on the ground again. So Blaze went on home, he ate dinner, showered, brushed his teeth, and went straight to bed, but he was unaware that he was in MY HOUSE. He was too tired to figure it out. Blaze jumped onto my bed and my fish noticed him.

"Wow, Flare looks different today." Darrel said.

"That's Blaze, you idiot." Piddles said.

"Since when did Flare schedule a sleepover?" Yoyo asked. Just then, I got back home from work; I went into the kitchen to put my leftovers from dinner in the fridge, but then I noticed something.

"Hmm, somepony's been eating in my fridge." I said. I didn't care that time, so I just went into the shower to wash up, but then; "Hmm, somepony's been using my shower." I still didn't care, but I did start to care when I brushed my teeth. "Hmm, somepony's been using my toothbrush." And then I finally found Blaze sleeping in my bed. "Hmm, somepony's sleeping on my bed." So I walked into my kitchen to fill up a glass of hot water, and then I placed it beside my bed, and then I lifted Blaze’s hoof and I was about to place his hoof inside, but then I realized… this is my bed. So instead, I just dumped the water on Blaze’s face.

“Ahhh… that feels nice.” Blaze said calmly. Right… he’s a draconian.

"What are you doing here, Blaze?" I asked him tiredly.

"Huh? What?! Wait, this isn't my house!" Blaze woke up and said.

"Trained hard today, brah?" I asked him. I was feeling really tired, if you just look at my face.

"Yeah...." Blaze said.

"Too tired to walk home?" I asked.

"Yeah...." he said.

"Well, goodnight, Blaze." I said as I patted him on the head
.
"Good night." Blaze said as he falls back asleep, so I fed the fish, and then I walked on over to my guest bedroom to sleep in there.

“Hey Flare?” Water asked as she laid next to me, since this was now her bedroom, I kinda forgot.

“Yeah, Water?” I asked.

“Who do you think would win in a fight? Muppets or Sesame Street?” she asked.

“I don’t think either of them would fight. They’re both pretty peaceful.” I said.

“But what if they had to? Like… there could be only one?” Water asked.

“Muppets.” I said.

“Ok, how about Muppets or Fraggles?” Water asked.

After a moment of thinking, I finally said, “Muppets.”

“Alright. How about Muppets or He-Man?” Water asked.

“Just He-Man or He-Man and his friends?” I asked.

“Just He-Man.” Water said.

“Muppets.” I said.

“That’s what I was gonna say. Well g’night, Flare.” Water said.

“G’night, Water.” I said as we both went to sleep.

The next morning came, Iron Will walked on over to my trailer and blew an air horn. Blaze yelled and fell out of my bed. I woke up to. "WHOA, SALAMI!" I yelled as I bumped my head. "OW!" I looked over next to me and I saw that Water didn’t get startled. “Why aren’t you startled?”

“When I was travelling the world, I stayed at a bad part of Los Pegasus. Nothing but shootings, so I’m used to loud noises.” Water said.

"WAKEY, WAKEY! TIME FOR TRAINING, TRAINING!" Iron Will yelled on a megaphone. "SO HUP TO IT SOLDIER!" Blaze walked out of my room rubbing his head.

"Blaze? Who yelled out like that?" I asked him and then I checked the time. "4 IN THE MORNING!? WHAT THE WIZARD OF HOPE?! I'M GOING BACK TO BED!" I shut the door and went back to sleep.

"Umm... why am I in Flare's trailer?" Blaze asked himself and then he walks out of my trailer to Iron Will.

"You're two minutes late, son!" Iron Will said.

"More like an hour early! How did you know where I was?" Blaze asked.

"A good trainer never reveals all of his secrets." Iron Will said. "Now to start up the day, run to the cafe, buy me a cilantro omelet, and run back."

"Yes sir! Wait, why do I have to get you an omelet?" Blaze asked.

"DO YOU WANT TO WIN FIGHTING IS MAGIC OR NOT?!" Iron Will yelled at Blaze.

"I DO!" Blaze yelled.

"THEN DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!" Iron Will yelled and blew his whistle. "GO! GO!" So Blaze sprinted over to the cafe, ordered an omelet, but just as he was running back, he met up with Crystal.

"Oh breakfast! Thanks, Blaze!" Crystal said as she ate it.

"CRYSTAL?! That wasn't for you!" Blaze shouted at her.

Crystal burped and said, "Well you could've told me that before I ate it. See ya!" Crystal waved, and ran off. Blaze sighed and then ran back to the cafe to buy another omelet. As he was running back, he accidentally bumped into Engineer, and Blaze dropped his omelet.

"Hey! Watch where yer goin, son!" Engie complained.

"Engie! What the hay?" Blaze yelled at him.

"Ya shouldn't be runnin with food then, partner." Engie said as he trotted off.

"Rrrgh!" Blaze yelled as he ran back to the café, got another omelet, and carefully ran back to Iron Will.

"What took you so long?" Iron Will asked.

"Sorry, I kept running into my friends." Blaze said giving him the omelet. "Here you go."

"Oh that's okay, Goldheart. I'm not hungry anymore." Iron Will said filing his finger nails.
"What?! B-but.... but...." Blaze stuttered.

"BREAK TIME IS OVER, MAGGOT! LET'S GET THIS GARBAGE DONE..... MONTAGUE STYLE!" Iron Will said mischievously.

"Wait, that was break time?" Blaze asked. "No matter, I love montages!" So then the Rocky theme plays in the background as Iron Will was training Blaze. Blaze was running around town, the gym, doing pull-ups, push-ups, wing-ups, sit-ups, lifting weights, carrying heavy cider barrels across Sweet Apple Acres, and even practicing fighting with some of the other ponies in the gym, like Bulk Biceps, Caramel, Big Mac, and Blaze thought it would be an easy fight with Rarity, but she OWNED him epically! Right after, he fought Iron Will himself. It was really hard for him, but he was able to defeat him just as the song ends.

"You're ready!" Iron Will said giving him a thumbs up.

"AWWWW YEAH!" Blaze yells out as he jumps in the air and just floats there frozen. Iron Will just looked at him confusingly, looked around, and then walks away awkwardly. Rainbow Dash eventually comes to see Blaze like that.

“Hey Blaze, is your training done?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Umm, yeah.” Blaze said.

"Blaze, how are you doing that?" Rainbow asked him.

"I DUNNO! I'M SCARED!" Blaze said frighteningly.

"Well, get down." Rainbow instructed him.

"I can't! I JUST CAN'T! GET HELP! CALL SOMEONE!" Blaze freaked out as he was still frozen while doing that pose.

"But who shall I call?" Rainbow asked.

"I DUNNO! A POLICE, A FIRE- A SCIENTIST! Call a scientist!" Blaze shouted. Rainbow then runs off so he can call one, leaving Blaze in the air like that. "Am I gonna die?" he asked himself.

Meanwhile, outside of my trailer, I was just taking out the trash when suddenly a snowball was thrown at me. "HEY!" I yelled out and I saw Spike standing there whistling. "Well thanks alot, Spike! While you were standing there whistling, somepony threw a snowball at me!"

"Oh really, Flare?" Spike giggled. "Did the snowball look like this?" Then another snowball was thrown at me, and Spike laughed.

"Yeah." I said, and I ran to him all freaked out. "I'm serious, Spike! Somepony's after me! I think I'm going to leave town!"

"Flare, I threw it. We're having a snowball fight! Don't you get it?" Spike asked.

"No I don’t. I’m from a place that doesn’t snow.” I said.

“Do you wanna play though?” Spike asked.

“Sure, why not?” I shrugged.

"Alright, but first, you have to make a snowball!" Spike explained.

"Oh yeah, a snowball!" I suddenly bended over to the snow to make one. "Oh this is gonna be great!" But when I put my hoof up, I didn't make a snowball, I made a snowcube. I went back into the snow, and I made a snow pyramid, and then I made some DNA shaped snow object. "D’OH! Spike, can you help me make a snowball?"

"Nah.” Spike said.

“Wow, and I thought we were friends?” I complained.

Blaze walked over to us to share us the news, but when I was about to throw a snow DNA at Spike, it lands on Blaze instead. “Hey guys, what’s going o-“

We both stopped and looked at eachother. "HE DID IT!" Spike yelled as he pointed at me and then ran off. Blaze wiped the snow off his face, but was too excited to be mad right now.

"Hey, brah! What are you so happy face about?" I asked.

"I'm ready, man! I'm ready!" Blaze said excitingly. "I'm ready to fight!"

"Kay! THREE, TWO, ONE, FIGHT!" I yelled as I tackled him, and started pulling backwards on his leg. "SAY COUSIN! SAY COUSIN!" Blaze then suddenly pushes me off from him.

"Not you, hay for brains!" Blaze corrected me.

"Then who?" I asked, and then I gasped. "DID SOMEPONY TALK SMACK ABOUT RAINBOW DASH?!"

"No." Blaze said.

“Candy Cotton?” I asked.

“No.” Blaze said.

"Did somepony stain your Wonderbolt outfit?" I asked.

"No!" Blaze said a little louder.

"Oooooh, was Fluttershy laid out in the sun too long after her apple pie got rotton and clouds fell on the trees?" I asked.

"No- Wait, what?" Blaze asked confusingly. "NO! I told you, I was competing in Fighting is Magic? Remember, to pay my bills?"

"I KNEW IT! I knew it all along! I was just testing you." I lied.

Blaze rolled his eyes. "Yeah, suuure you did."

"SHUT UP! It’s true! So bite my shinny red flank!” I yelled at him.

"So are you still going to be my manager and the Nobles still going to be my corner team?" Blaze asked.

"Absolutely!" I nodded. "We're going to be playing four corners throughout the whole fight!"

"No! You'll be in my corner of the ring, giving me water, and putting ice packs on my cuts and bruises." Blaze corrected me.

"You do know that this fight is fake, right?" I asked.
‘
Blaze shakes his head. "No, it's quite real."

"It's totally fake, man!" I said.

"Trust me, Iron Will took me to see a few and I saw stallions being taken out of there on stretchers! Mares too! One's collar bone was sticking RIGHT OUT OF HIS SHOULDER!" Blaze said.

“Digital effects.” I said.

“It’s not digital effects if I saw it with my own eyes personally.” Blaze corrected me.

“They’re messing with your eyes. Somepony put something in the drinks maybe.” I thought.

“I didn’t have anything to drink.” Blaze corrected me.

“That’s what the drink WANTS you to think!” I said.

"Alright fine, whatever. We'll just wait until we get to the ring." I said. "We'll see if it's real or fake." Blaze sighed, and just then, a giant snowball was thrown at us.

"SPIKE!" I yelled, but I was wrong, I didn’t see Spike, I saw Mareatron beside us, laughing so hard. “That could’ve hurt us, you know. What would the autobots think of that?”

A while later, Blaze and I picked up Engie, Crystal, Aqua, and Psyche and we walked over to the stadium to sign up for the fight. "I want ice cream!" Crystal whined.

"Can it wait until we get there, Crystal?" Aqua asked.

"BUT I WANT ICE CREAM NOOOOOOOW!" Crystal whined.

"So Blaze, ya think yer ready for this fake fight?" Engie asked.

"It's not fake..... and yes." Blaze said.

"Yes it is fake." I whispered in Engie's ear, and he nodded. Psyche was panting and grunting as he was carrying most of Blaze's stuff.

"Why do I have to carry all this heavy junk?" Psyche asked.

"I'd take that as an advantage, brah. You're carrying the junk of a soon to be champion!" I said.

"I'm not strong you know!" Psyche complained.

"I know, and Engie’s an engineer, Aqua’s too nice, and Crystal’s a girl.” I said.

“What?” Psyche asked. Blaze then walked up to the table to sign up for Fighting is Magic.

"Hmm, where is Iron Will?" Blaze asked.

"Who's that?" Aqua asked.

"My trainer." Blaze said.

"Yeah, he didn't like the trainers I gave him." I said.

"Because they weren't real trainers!" Blaze reminded me.

"And this fight isn't even real either!" I corrected him.

"I keep telling you it is!" Blaze corrected me.

"And I keep telling you it isn't!" I yelled.

"Mates, mates, please! No need to fight. Leave it for the ring, Blaze." Aqua advised him.

"Yeah, Blaze, we'll fight in the ring!" I said.

"No! I'm not fighting you!" Blaze said.

"Well of course you're not gonna fight Aqua." I said to Blaze. “Like I said, he’s too nice.”

"Nopony's fightin’ me." Aqua said.

"I WANT ICE CREAM!" Crystal yelled.

"Aqua, go get Crystal some ice cream." I instructed him.

"Fine." he said as he took Crystal over the ice cream stand to get some ice cream.

So as we were waiting in line for the sign-up sheet, Psyche was panting and struggling to carry Blaze's stuff. "Here Psyche, let me take that." Blaze offered, about to take some of the junk, but then I jumped in the way.

"NO, BLAZE!" I yelled. "We have it under control!" We both looked at Psyche, and he had a hard time breathing, and then I looked back at Blaze. "Just worry about the fight. We'll take care of your stuff." I took some of the stuff Psyche was carrying and I give it to Engie.

"'EY!" Engie cried.

"Take this stuff over to Blaze's dressing room!" I ordered them, and so they did, but struggling to. Didn’t think wrestlers would need that many stuff. Blaze and I walked over to the sign up booth, so Blaze can sign up for the contest.

"Hello! I'd like to sign up for Fighting is Magic, please?" Blaze asked.

"Name." the pony behind the counter asked.

"Blaze Goldheart." he said.

"Blaze Goldheart? You've already been signed up." the counter pony said.

"Really? By who?" Blaze asked as I then started whistling. Blaze then looked over at me and smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Somepony just whistled." Blaze said.

"Yeah, I was whistling." I said.

"Oh ok, did you sign me up?" Blaze asked.

"No, what made you think that?" I asked.

Blaze shrugged. "I dunno. Where am I supposed to go?" Blaze asked the counter pony.

The counter pony fixed her glasses and said; "Go down the corridors until you find a door with a star on it. Walk downstairs, and find Dressing Room 9."

Blaze nodded. "Thanks!" and he starts walking towards the star door.

"Pssst." I tried to get Blaze's attention.

"What?" Blaze asked.

"I said pssssssssst." I said with some of my saliva spraying on him.

"Eww! Say it, don't spray it!" Blaze said, wiping his face.

"Ssssssssssssssssssssssssounds like I have bracsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssessssssssssssssss." I said spraying more saliva on him.

"Stop it!" Blaze ordered me as he wiped his face. So the two of us walked down the stairs and down the corridor to find some dressing rooms. We counted up the room numbers until we could find it.

"Room 5, room 6, room 7, room 8, room 9, room 10, room 11, room 12...." I said. Blaze suddenly realizes that we skipped his room.

"We passed my room!" Blaze said.

"What room was it again?" I asked.

"Room 9!" Blaze said.

"Well why didn't you say so?" I asked Blaze shoving his face playfully. So we walked back over to Blaze’s dressing room and opened the door. Engie and Psyche were already in there.

"It's about time ya got here." Engie said.

"Wait, how did you....." Blaze was really confused about why they were there before we did.

"Flare already told us the room." Psyche said.

"Oh, alright." Blaze said.

"So what's the plan?" Engie asked.

"I dunno, but my hooves are tired! I can't even move them." Psyche complained. He saw a glass of water near him and he couldn't move his hooves, so he tried to reach his tongue over to the glass in attempt to drink it, but he couldn't reach it.

"Here, use this." Engie suggested as he places a straw near his glass.

"Oh thanks, Engie! Now how am I supposed to put it in?" Psyche asked sarcastically. Psyche looked down at the straw, used to tongue to try to reach it, but all he did was moving it around and pushed it forward. Eventually he accidently pushed the straw on the floor and then he groaned. Next, he just licked the glass. "Bleh! Doesn't anypony ever wash these glasses?"

"Y'all sure you'll be able to fight in this? Ah think ya should use more gun." Engie asked.

No, weapons aren't allowed in the ring." Blaze corrected him. "I can count on you guys, tonight, right?"

"No math, please?" I asked.

"Dang it Flare, he means he wants to know if we have his back, t'night!" Engie said. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Blaze went up to open it, and it was Fluttershy.

"Hey, Blaze!" Flutters said.

"Hey Fluttershy! Is Rainbow and the others with you?" Blaze asked.

"Rainbow and Candy are getting snacks with Crystal and Aqua. I-I hope I'm not intruding." Flutters said.

"Oh no, it's ok! What is it?" Blaze asked.

Flutters got a little nervous. "It's just..... there is something I have yet to tell you."

"And what's that?" Blaze asked. Just then, Rainbow bursted in and hugged Blaze.

"Blaze! I'm so proud of you!" she said excitedly.

"R-Rainbow? Where did you come from?" Blaze asked.

"I went to get snacks. You're gonna do awesome man! I have complete faith in you!" Rainbow said playfully punching him on the shoulder.

Thanks! I honestly thought you wouldn't approve of this!" Blaze said smiling.

"Oh it's okay! I know you can take care of yourself! It's Candy I'm worried about." Rainbow said rolling her eyes.

"What?" Blaze asked.

"She's being reckless! She keeps doing dangerous stunts and I have to end up rescuing her. Then she punched me in the eye!" Rainbow said revealing her black and blue eye.

"Darn! Why would should do that?" Blaze asked.

"She keeps telling me she can take care of herself, but I think she's too young to look after herself. Then she said I'm too much like dad." Rainbow explained upsettingly.

"Well, I think you two need to-" Blaze was about to explain, but they got interrupted by the stage manager.

"Goldheart, two minutes!" the stage manager said.

"Oh, I gotta go! Sorry! Good to know you're here!" Blaze said kissing Rainbow on the cheek and then starts flying off to the ring.

"But Blaze! Wait!" Flutters yelled out.

"Sorry I gotta go!" Blaze said as he ran out, oh wait didn’t I say flying out? Eh, I wasn’t paying much attention. Flutters then just looks at Blaze as he flies out, and then she looks down to the floor, feeling really worried.

Out there around the ring, it was full of ponies, cheering and chanting out as Mayor Mare started hosting the contest. "FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS! WELCOME TO PONYVILLE'S ANNUEL, FIGHTING IS MAGIC!" The audience cheered and cried out. "Now before we start our championship battle, we'll have some of our contestants fighting each other until the final showdown." the Mayor said.

"Totally fake." Engie said shaking his head.

"In this corner! We have a white pegasus pony who loves to do steroids! He's a member of the Wonderbolt Academy and takes things up to the extreme! Give it up for Bulk Biceps!" the Mayor said introducing Bulk.

"YEEEEEEAAAAH!" he yelled.

"In this corner, the new comer, the famous Half Pony, Half Dragon, BLAZE GOLDHEART!" the Mayor cried out. Blaze waved to the audience and showed off his dragon breath.

"Good luck, Blaze and be careful." Aqua said.

"Thanks, Aqua!" Blaze said.

"You can do it, Blaze!" Crystal said.

"I know I can, Crystal!" Blaze said.

"You'll do great, Blaze!" Psyche said.

Blaze patted Psyche on the back and said, "Shut up, Psyche."

"Get ready to fight! Those whose shoulders touch the ground for 10 seconds wins!" the Mayor said as Blaze and Bulk Biceps walked towards the center of the ring, smirking at eachother. "ROUND ONE!" The bell rings.

"YEEEEAAAAH! You’re going down, Goldheart!" Bulk yelled as he grabbed Blaze's shoulders.

“In your dreams, Bulk! Actually… not even in your dreams.” Blaze taunted as he too grabbed Bulk’s shoulders. “Also didn’t we fight already and I beat you back in the gym?”

“That was just practice. This is the real deal! I’M ALL MUSCLE… AND TEDDY BEARS!” Bulk yelled.

Blaze started to chuckle. “Teddy bears?”

“THEY’RE MANLY!” Bulk yelled. So the two continued to wrestle, and the both were struggling really hard to get each other down.

"Hey! Let go!" Blaze demanded as he kicked him in the stomach. Bulk barely felt that; his abs are as hard as mithril. Bulk just chuckled as he then picked Blaze up and slammed him onto the ground.

"YEEEEEEEEAH!" Bulk yelled.

“Wish I had a bit every time he said that.” Blaze mumbled to himself, and then he asked him out loud, “Don’t you ever get tired of saying that?!”

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Bulk yelled as he punched Blaze in the face, rapidly like a machine gun.

"ROUND OVER!" the mayor announced. Blaze and Bulk then walked back to their corners.

"How you doing, Blaze?" I asked as Engie sprayed water in his mouth and Psyche was holding up a bucket hoping that Blaze spits the water in there, but instead, Blaze spits the water on Psyche's face, completely missing the bucket.

"Not too good." Blaze said.

"That was only a warm-up round, but you can do it, brah! You can win this! Those punches were just to kick you into shape!" I said as I play punched him on his shoulder.

"Or in this case, punch ya into shape." Aqua teased.

"Not funny, Aqua." Blaze said.

"Sorry." Aqua said.

"Who's gonna be the champion of the world?" I asked Blaze.

"I am." Blaze said.

"I can't hear you, Blaze! WHO'S GONNA BE THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD?!" I asked him louder.

"I am!" Blaze said a little louder.

"WHAT?!" I yelled out.

"I AM!" Blaze yelled the loudest he can be.

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BE?!" I yelled.

"THE CHAMPION!" Blaze yelled.

"OF THE WHAT?!" I yelled.

"OF THE WORLD!" Blaze yelled out.

"AND WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING TO THE END!" I sang.

"AAAH! You guys are too loud! My ear drums!" Psyche complained as he inserts his inhaler in his mouth.

“If your ears hurt, why are you putting your inhaler in your mouth?” Engie asked.

“All this screaming is also giving me an asthma attack.” Psyche said.

"ROUND 2!" the mayor called out. Blaze and Bulk Biceps went up to the center of the ring and the bell rung again.

"YEEEAAAH!" Bulk Biceps yelled; as Blaze smacked him in the face with his wings, Bulk snorted and started charging at him. Blaze dodges out of the way which makes Bulk charge towards the ropes, and the ropes moved back like a rubber band as Bulk runs into them; like a sling-shot, Bulk then he flies towards Blaze, tackling him, but as Bulk was trying to tackle him; Blaze sticks his arm out and rams it into his neck so he trip. Bulk isn’t very clumsy though when it doesn’t come to flying, so he grabs Blaze's head and puts him in a head-lock.

"AAAH! LET GO!" Blaze yelled.

"Say cousin! Say cousin!" Bulk demanded squeezing his head tighter.

"No! I'm not giving up!" Blaze yelled.

"Then you will meet your destiny!" Bulk said as he picked Blaze up and was just about to throw him on the ground, but luckily for him, Blaze manages to flip him over and off his grip.

As Blaze poses and was just about to make his next move, Bulk then suddenly kicks Blaze in the knee and then Blaze falls, holds his knee and goes, "Ssssssssss! Ahhhhh! Sssssssss! Ahhhhhhhhh!" Bulk Biceps then kicks Blaze in the face and Blaze starts collapsing on the floor in slow-mo as saliva drools out of his mouth. Right after, Bulk Biceps just sits on him.

“THIS IS WHAT I DO, I SIT ON YOU!” Bulk yelled on Blaze’s face. “YEEEAH! NOW TELL ME WHAT I WANT FOR HEARTH’S WARMING, SANTA!”

The mayor started counting down, "1.... 2..... 3...... 4...... 5....."

"GET OFF ME! GROSS!" Blaze yelled.

"6.... 7...." the mayor continued.

"GET OFF!" Blaze yelled trying to push him off.

"8.... 9...." the mayor continued.

Blaze’s eyes and body began to glow. "I SAID GET OFF!" Blaze yelled as a huge shockwave pushes Bulk off of him. Bulk starts flying in air. Blaze got up and was ready to finish the fight. As Bulk was falling, Blaze gives Bulk a swift buck in the face, but not alone, with the help of his phoenix powers. That buck was so strong, Bulk begins to feel a little dizzy. He just stood on his hind-legs, rocking back and forth, looking like he was about to pass out.

"FINISH HIM!" the Mortal Kombat announcer voice yelled. Blaze then unleashes a barrage of punches to Bulk’s face, kinda similar to Dragon Ball Z’s punch frenzies.

“BABABABABABABABABABABABABA!” Blaze yells as he frenzies Bulk’s face. After enough punches, Bulk collapses on the ground, and then Blaze pins him down, making sure he doesn’t get back up.

The mayor then counted down all the way to 10, and Blaze has won. Blaze raises his hooves in the air and yells, "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH!”

"Oh shut up! Get your own quotes!” Bulk complained.

Blaze then kicked him while he was down, and said, "Shut up! I won!"

"WOO! Great job, Blaze!” I yelled in excitement. “Championships! Here we come!"

Blaze nods. "Totally!"

“Yeah totally, like OMG! Did you see her hair?” I said in a teenage filly’s voice.

“Let us rise to the top and claim our victory!” Engie said.

“OUR victory, Engie.” Blaze corrected him.

“That’s what ah said.” Engie reminded him.

“Oh, sorry, I thought you were… umm… yeah.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, ah was umm yeahing.” Engie said. “Can’t stop my umm yeahin’, partner.”

So, another montage comes on, but a fighting montage this time, with an instrumental version of the Final Countdown playing in the background. In the beginning of the song, it shows Blaze wiping his sweat, grabbing his towel, drinking some water, and getting ready to fight. Blaze then starts walking slow-mo over to the ring with a towel on his shoulder; as he was walking slow-mo to the ring, he slowly trips and falls from a soda cup that was laying on the ground, and right after, he slowly stands back up, and then afterwards, I slowly walked over to him with a lawsuit contract, and then he slowly signed it as he continued to slow walk to the ring. Just as Blaze was slowly walking to the ring, Crystal walks by him in a normal speed. “Blaze, are what are you doing? Can’t you just cut to the chase? You’re boring everypony.” Crystal complained.

“Fine. Ruin the moment.” Blaze complained. When the music gets a little, he starts having epic fights with other contestants like Ace; you know that tennis pony from the Call of the Cutie episode? Blaze had his trouble with him, but he was able to win that one. Blaze has been fighting tougher and tougher opponents each time, including a champion griffin, a champion buffalo from the Appleloosa tribe, a champion superhero otherwise known as The Thing from the Fantastic Four, and even the cute little Laura Limpin from KND.

“Hi! I’m Laura Limpin! What’s your name?” Laura asked adorably to Blaze.

“No, no, I’m not fighting a little girl.” Blaze said.

“Little? Did you just call me… little?” Laura asked.

“Yeah I hate that too.” I said. Just then, that little girl transformed into a mutated beast known as The Big Badolescent, and I must admit, Blaze had a very hard time with her but he was able to defeat her. Don’t worry, there’s no hitting in wrestling, so Blaze isn’t hitting a little girl that turned into a mutated monster, because I think the same rules apply when it comes to hitting but this is wrestling, no hitting included.

During the montage, Noble Six, the Rainbow, Candy Cotton, and I cheered in the background, and Fluttershy was still feeling kidna worried. When Blaze is on his breaks, Fluttershy kept trying to warn him about Iron Will, but she keeps getting interrupted or Blaze just doesn’t bother listening. During his fights though, Blaze has been getting more and more stressed and alot more dangerous. Blaze has been getting way more aggressive during his breaks or before and after the fights because when Aqua squirts water in Blaze’s mouth, he spits it back at him instead of Psyche, which isn’t right because Aqua doesn’t deserve it. Something was very clearly wrong with him. The montage ended with a big punch on Blaze’s nose and the music cuts off from there.

The next day came after that last fight, so Rainbow, Pinkie, and I were waiting for Blaze at the shop so we can have our double-date. "And then she said, you wanna buy a taco with that?" Pinkie joked and laughed. "A taco, can you believe it?"

"I.... I don't get it." Rainbow said.

"What's not to get?" Pinkie asked.

"You just said, 'And then she said, you wanna buy a taco with that?' nothing before that." Rainbow said.

"Hey, you wanna see something cool?" Pinkie asked as she takes my salt and peper shakers from the table and then inserts them in her nose. "Ta da!"

"Do you have a problem with this, Flare?" Rainbow asked.

"Not at all! She's my special somepony now; she can do what she wants!" I said. “I find everything she does attractive; even when she staples papers. Ooo mama!”

“Mama, where? I don’t see Mama Gun anywhere!” Pinkie said as she looks around my shop for my mom. Just then, Pinkie suddenly sneezes the pepper shaker out of her nose and it hits Bon Bon in the head as she was carrying a tray of dishes back to the kitchen.

“OW! Hey!” Bonnie yelled as she drops all the dishes and they all break.

“How about now?” Rainbow asked me.

“Nope, still attractive.” I admitted. "So, Rainbow, how's the situation with Candy?"

"Not very good, Flare. I nearly died today when she was flying away from that train. Kids never learn, do they?" Rainbow asked.

"She's only ten, Rainbow. I'm sure she'll come through to her senses." I said. While I was talking, Crèmepop opens the front door of my shop and was about to go inside. Spike notices that I’m with Pinkie currently, and Spike had to keep his promise to Crèmepop, so he started running towards the door.

"You wanna try to go to therapy? Maybe that can help your sibling problem." I suggested to Rainbow as Spike slammed the door shut and locking it before Crème was able to come inside.

"Therapy? Uh, that's not how I roll, Flare." Rainbow said.

"No, but I'm sure you roll like this!" Pinkie said as she jumps on the floor and begins to roll around the floor from next to us to under the table. “Oh hey, free gum!”

"I wonder when Blaze is gonna come?” I asked.

"I wonder too, he should've got here 20 minutes ago!" Rainbow complained.

"These fights are really going through his head, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah, and he's been really stressed out lately because of it. I dunno what's going on." Rainbow said.

"Reminds me of that Maroon 5 music video." I said.

"Which one?" Rainbow asked.

“How am I supposed to know? I don’t watch his videos.” I said.

The side door was kicked open by Blaze and then he angrily walked towards our table, all bruised up. Crème eventually saw the side door open and she ran towards it, but by the time Blaze sat down with us, Spike ran to the side door and boarded it up, and then Crème just slams into side window instead and then her face starts sliding down.

"Wow, Blaze! You look like you got hit by a truck!" Pinkie said and giggled.

"No, you saw what happened to me!" Blaze said, sitting next to Rainbow.

"Where have you been? You're 20 minutes later!" Rainbow said to him.

"You know where I've been!" Blaze said nasty to Rainbow.

"So Blaze, did you hear the news? I got a couple of new employees to work at the Canterlot shop!" I said.

"That's good." Blaze said.

"Yeah, and they're both Crystal ponies! One's name is Check Mate and the other's name is Honey Tone." I said.

"Well, that's good!" Blaze said. Derpy then walks by with a box of pizza, but then she trips over and accidentally drops the pizza on Blaze.

"Woops! Sorry, Blaze!" Derpy said.

"AAGH!" Blaze shouted and stood up. I had to help relieve the stress so I suddenly change the scene to those pictures of puppies from before along with the flashing ‘de-stress’ in the center of it all, and I used that same exact relaxation music in the background, but this time, the music goes a little faster. Afterwards, the scene changes back to my shop with Blaze yelling at Derpy. "Sorry's not gonna cut it you lazy eyes doofus!"

"BLAZE!" Rainbow yelled at him.

"You saw what happened!" Blaze yelled.

"It was an accident! Calm down!" Rainbow said.

"Yeah!" Derpy agreed.

"This doesn't concern you, dumb eyes!" Blaze insulted her. Derpy then immediately starts crying and runs into the kitchen.

"DITZY!" I yelled out. "B-R-B for a sec." I got up and ran into the kitchen with her to help her calm down, and then Blaze sits back down.

"Oooo! Blaze is mister grumpy pants today!" Pinkie smiled and said.

"Shut up you pink lame brain!" Blaze yelled at her. Pinkie's mane deflates and then she just sits down quietly.

"Blaze! This isn't like you! What's wrong?" Rainbow asked.

"Nothing is wrong with me!" Blaze yelled.

"Blaze, I think you need to calm down for a sec." Rainbow said putting her arm around him.

"Don't touch me! I don't need to calm down!" Blaze yelled, slapping her hoof away.

Rainbow gasped and said; "Well if you're gonna be like that, I'm going home! You come when you calm down!" she angrily flies out of the shop.

"Fine! Go! I don't need you!" Blaze yelled at her, and then he turned to Pinkie and said to her, “I don't know what her problem is."

Pinkie was shaking in fright. "M-m-me neither!"

"You alright?" Blaze asked.

"DON'T HURT ME!" Pinkie yelled as she ran over to the bar counter and hid behind it.
"Alright, I got the garlic rolls ready! Who wants garlic rolls?" I asked everypony, as I came out with a tray of garlic rolls. "Blaze you want a hot steamy garlic roll?"

"No I don't!" Blaze said angrily.

"Calms an angry pony down!" I said with a smile.

"I'm not angry!" Blaze yelled at me.

"Ok if you say so, man. You mad bro?” I teased. “Here take a garlic roll.”

"I don't want one!" Blaze shouted at me.
I then held the tray close to his face and suggested, "Are you sure? Just smell them! They're delicious!"

"I DON'T WANT A GARLIC ROLL!" Blaze yelled as he slapped the tray of garlic rolls out of my hoof, and they all fall on the floor.

"GASP! That's gonna cost you!" I said angrily towards him.

"No way! You always say the food is on the house!" Blaze yelled.

"When you eat them properly! What in the Wizard of Hope's name is your problem, dude?" I asked.

"I don't have a problem! You have a problem!" Blaze yelled.

“Ok Blaze, remember: just think of the puppies, it’s gonna be ok, just think of the puppies. It’s gonna be ok, think of the puppies.” I instructed him as photos of puppies began sliding through the screen. “It’s gonna be ok, think of the puppies. Think of the puppies, it’s-“

“SHUT UP!” Blaze yelled.

"If you wanna yell at me, can it be somewhere else? You're scaring away the customers." I advised him as all the customers in the shop started to run out, trampling on Spike on the way. Pinkie attempts to tip-hoof out and Cremepop walks inside. "NO, WAIT! COME BACK!" I yelled. "Sigh...."

"Let em go! This is terrible service anyway!" Blaze said.

"Blaze.... I think you should go now. I'll see you at the last challenge tonight." I said while not looking at him and with an angry look on my face, but I still said calmly. "Now good day, sir."

"Fine! Your pizza SUCKS anyway!" Blaze yelled as he threw a pizza in the back of my head as I didn’t move a muscle. “I’m too PUMPED for this!”

"I SAID, good day, sir." I still said calmly. Blaze then flew off and Crème walked over to me worriedly and we both just looked at each other worryingly. “Hey where have you been, Crème? Didn’t your lunch break end 10 minutes ago?”

“I tried coming in but Spike locked all the doors.” Crème said.

“Bet he tried to keep the customers at bay, good boy, Spike!” I said to him.

“Ugggggggh, no problem.” Spike said in pain as he was flattened in the floor by the stampede of customers.

Later that day, I went over to the championships at the arena, waiting in the dressing room for Blaze along with the other Noble Six. I told them what's happening to Blaze. “So this championship is going through his head, right?” Aqua asked.

“Wish I had a bit every time somepony repeats what I said.” I complained.

“Wish I had a bit every time somepony repeats what I said.” Crystal teased as she gives me a bit.

“Wowie! Thanks, Crystal!” I said.

“Wowie! Thanks, Crystal!” Crystal repeated as she gave me another bit.

“So what are we going to do about this?” Psyche asked.

“Not sure really; should let him win under these circumstances? Teach him a lesson?” I asked.

“Is that what are you really want to do, Flare? Sacrifice Blaze’s winnings just to teach him a lesson?” Psyche asked.

“Come to think of it, he does need the money pay off debt.” I said.

“Exactly, if we make him lose, it risks putting him, Rainbow Dash, and Candy Cotton out into the street.” Psyche said. “So he needs the money to pay off debt.” Just then, Crystal gives me another bit.

“What’s this for?” I asked.

“Psyche just repeated what you said.” Crystal reminded me.

“Oh, gotcha!” I nodded.

Just then, Blaze eventually comes and walks in angrily. "Sup brah?" I asked.

"What do you want?" Blaze asked.

"Tonight's the big night!" Crystal said.

"Ah hope ya win! Ah can't believe ya made it to the championships!" Aqua said excitingly.

“I WILL WIN! I WILL! I’M SO PUMPED RIGHT NOW! I can feel the adrenaline soaring around my body!” Blaze yelled. “UGH! Why did I have to say Soarin’s name? THAT JERK!”

“What do you have against Soarin?” Engie asked.

“He’s trying to steal my thunder by being a better Wonderbolt than I! Well next time he’ll think twice because I’m so going to kick his flank next time we meet!” Blaze said.

“Blaze, maybe you should sit down.” Engie suggested.

"Fine, whatever!” Blaze said angrily as he walked over to Aqua. “Can you get off of my chair?

"Oh this is yer chair? Sorry." Aqua said as he got out of his chair.

Crystal then ran up to Blaze and hugged him. "I'm so proud of you, Blaze! You’re going to be a champion!”

"Get off of me!" Blaze pushed her off of him.

"After this, we're having a big party over at Sugarcube Corner for your victory, Blaze!" Psyche said excitedly.

"SHUT UP, PSYCHE!" Blaze yelled at him the angriest.

"Alright, partner. What in tarnation are ya gettin all worked up about?" Engie asked.

"I'm not worked up over anything!" Blaze said.

"Well, you sure are working up a good sweat tonight! LAWL!" I teased him.

"Shut up, Flare!" Blaze said rudely.

"You mean Psyche right?" I asked.

"HEY!" Psyche complained.

"No! I mean you!" Blaze yelled at me.

"You? Who's you? There's nopony named 'you' around here." I teased.

"YOU! YOU FLARE!" Blaze yelled at me. "I'M SICK OF YOUR DUMB JOKES! I'M SICK OF YOUR DISGUSTING PIZZA! I'M.... SICK..... OF OF YOU! AAAAAAAAAH!” Just as Blaze was screaming, the scene immediately changes into those puppy pictures from earlier with the word ‘de-stressed’ flashing in the center, and that same relaxing song plays in the background once again, but it plays backwards. When that moment with the puppies was over, Blaze continued to yell at me. “In fact, don't even bother showing up at the party after the match! You're not my friend!"

"I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, GUY!” I teased and chuckled. “C’mon say it with me, Blaze! Say ‘I’m not your guy, friend’, and then we keep switching it around.”

"Well, if he’s going to be that way, then I’m sorry Blaze, but I quit." Aqua said as he walks out.

“Well CURSE YOU too, Aqua! You big wimp!” Blaze yelled at him. “By the way, I am NOT sorry that I bumped into you that other day!”

“I really don’t care.” Aqua said.

"Yeah, yer bein a jerk right now, partner." Engie agreed as he following Aqua out.

"I totally second that!" Psyche said as he followed Engie.

"YOU'RE MEAN!" Crystal said as she stuck her tongue out at him, and she walks out with them.

"WAIT! You can't quit!" Blaze begged.

"Don't worry, Blaze! I won't quit on you. You're my loyal friend, and I'll stand by your side until the end!" I said as I smiled at him.

Blaze started to calm down and he gave out a little sigh. "I.... I don't know what's going on, man!" he said upsettingly.

"You're stressed out, bro. I've been where you are, and I'll never abandon you, brah!" I said as I placed my arm around him.

"Thanks, man." he said with a small smile.

"I know you didn't mean all that. You'd never replace me as your manager. Because if you did.... then that's the only time I'll go." I said. Just as I open the door, I see Mareatron outside.

"Blaze, three minutes." he said.

"Blaze. W-what is Mareatron doing here?" I asked. "Why is he wearing a manager outfit? Why does he have a picture of you and him in his wallet? Why is he holding the manager clipboard?" I asked as I grabbed the clipboard from him.

"I'm his new manager!" Mareatron said.

"NEW MANAGER?!" I gasped.

"Yeah, I think during my rage, I given you a replacement...... sorry." Blaze said.

"Sorry? SORRY?!" I yelled.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooooooooh!" Blaze started laughing really hard. I got really angry, and started walking out.

"Flare don't leave!" Blaze begged but he still continued laughing on the floor. "Flare don't...." I walked out already and slammed the door.

"FLAAAAAAAAAARE!" he yelled out. I then opened the door again and went back inside. "I LOVE YOU!"

"NO I'M DONE! I'M REALLY DONE!" I yelled.

"No you're not!" Blaze said.

"THIS IS HORSE JUNK! THIS IS REALLY HORSE JUNK!" I yelled.

"I can't...." Blaze laughed even harder and harder. "I CAN'T GET UP!"

"WHAT IS THIS?!" I yelled.

"I CAN'T GET UP!" Blaze continued laughing.

"WHAT IS THIS?!" I yelled again.

"I'M STUCK!" Blaze continued laughing.

"WHAT IS MY LIFE?!" I yelled. Blaze continued laughing and started slamming on the table.

"I CAN'T DO IT, BLAZE!" I yelled. "I CAN'T EVER DO IT!"

"ALRIGHT WHATEVER! YOU CAN GIVE UP NOW OR YOU CAN BEAT IT UP! BECAUSE I CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND I KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT ME!" Blaze yelled.

"I appreciate it..... BUT LOOK AT WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH, MAN!" I yelled, pointing to Mareatron.

"Heh... Flare!" Blaze said.

"You gotta draw the line somewhere!" I yelled.

"Flare." Blaze said.

"YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE IN THE SANIT, DUDE!" I yelled.

"Flare!" Blaze said.

"You gotta make a statement! You gotta look inside yourself and say: What am I willing to put up with today? NOT FLIPPIN’ THIS!" I yelled in his face.

"ERRRA!!!! I'M SUPBREH- I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYYYYY!" Blaze sang and started flying. "I believe!" Blaze continued to laugh. "That was a beautiful little moment we just had, right Flare?" I just shook my head and I just walked out through the big hole on the wall where Mareatron entered the building. "Flare? Flare where are you?" Blaze looked around but I was already gone. He then got angry again. "FINE!!!! GO!!!! I DON'T NEED YOU!!! GOOD RIDDANCE!!! I CAN DO THIS MYSELF! YOU HEAR ME?! I CAN-" Just then, I changed the scene once more, but they weren’t pictures of puppies this time. It was pictures of very bad dogs, very angry, and the word ‘STRESS’ started flashing in the center of it all, and instead of relaxing soothing music in the background, it was death metal music, that’s how stressful this was.

Once the scene was over, Blaze started breathing heavily, and then after a few moments, Blaze started to cry, and then he suddenly slapped himself in the face. "NO! No tears! Not yet! There's still work to be done! I can win this championship still! I’ll show them! I’ll show them all!"

So Blaze just marched outside, and went out into the ring. The mayor was just about to announce the final fight. "FILLES AND GENTLECOLTS! WELCOME TO THE FINAL ROUND FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP OF FIGHTING.... IS.... MAGIC!" the mayor yelled out. "In this corner, we have our semi-champion: Blaze Goldheart!" Blaze faked a smile and waved at everypony.

"And in this corner! He's a Minotaur, and he trains ponies to be the toughest of the tough! Put your hooves together for Iron Will!" the mayor said.

Iron Will slammed his fist into the ground of the ring and said; "Once we begin this round, Iron will slam this tiny pony RIGHT TO THE GROUND!”

"WHAT?!?!" Blaze yelled. "But if I knew you were going to fight me, why did you train me?"

"HA! Iron Will trains to tire ponies out, and also to find out their weaknesses! Iron Will knows you're half-dragon with phoenix powers and Iron Will knows your species’ weakness now!" Iron Will said with an evil chuckle.

“So you’re the champion, huh?” Blaze asked.

“Before Iron Will started training ponies, he was a professional championship wrestle, and to protect his title, Iron Will must go back into the ring from time to time and make sure he remains at the position of being a lean-mean wrestling machine!” Iron Will explained as he shows Blaze some of his assertive fighting moves.

"Whatever, I'll still beat you!" Blaze yelled at him.

"Not without your team you're not!" Iron Will said mischievously.

Just then, Blaze knew this was Iron Will's plan all along to cheat and win the money for himself, and to remain as the champion of Ponyville wrestling. "Oh.... crud." Blaze said.

"HA! Look at you, Goldheart! You're probably too tired to fight! You should quit now while you still have your head intact!" Iron Will taunted at him.

"Blaze! Blaze!" Fluttershy yelled out and ran to him.

"What?!" Blaze yelled over at Flutters.

"I tried to warn you! Why didn't you listen? Well.... I know you had more important things to do, but still.... I know Iron Will's plans! He's cheap and he cheats. He trained me to be aggressive once, and I almost lost my friends." Fluttershy explained.

"And I just did lose my friends." Blaze said sadly.

"I know, Blaze, and we can fix that later, but you have to win this." Fluttershy said as she grabbed his tank top and said aggressively, "Do this for your family!" Blaze looks up in the audience and sees Rainbow Dash and Candy rooting for him.

"Right!” he nodded. “For my family!"

"Go get 'em tiger!" Flutters rooted for him.

"Iron Will, I'll KILL you for making me lose my friends!" Blaze taunted at him.

"You can try." Iron Will said mischievously.

"ROUND ONE!" the mayor announced as the bell rung. Firstly, Blaze delivered a big punch on Iron Will's face, which didn’t even hurt him a bit. In fact, that punch felt as hard as stone to Blaze.

"When somepony tries to fight, show them how you bite!" Iron Will said as he then delivers a bigger punch on Blaze's face and he falls down to the ground. He rolls over, rubs his face a bit, and then kicks Iron Will in the stomach, which didn’t really hurt him either, but it helped him gain momentum as he flies over to the rubber bands on one of the sides of the ring. Iron Will leans back into the rubber bands and sling shots himself to tackle Blaze, but Blaze moves out of the way so he'll miss, but didn't expect for Iron Will to grab his ankle and slam him onto the ground multiple times. Iron Will then grabs Blaze's mane and says; "You're weak!"

Blaze kicks him in the stomach and says; "YOU ARE!" Then Blaze starts kicking him and beating him all over. Now Iron Will actually did feel a little pain there, in fact, after Blaze did one more kick on his face, Iron Will collapsed on the ground, and laid there.

The mayor counted down; "1.... 2.... 3.... 4..... 5....." Everypony was in suspense. "6...... 7.... 8..... 9....." Just then, Iron Will got back up quickly as if he wasn't hurt at all.

“HA! Just kidding!” Iron Will said mischievously as he throws a jar full of dark magic on Blaze. The jar broke and dark magic started spreading all over Blaze. Blaze started screaming in pain and became weaker and weaker. Iron Will laughed. "Your phoenix powers won't help you this time, Goldheart! That dark magic drained them; temporarily though, but it’ll still take a while for them to come back.”

Blaze struggled to get up and said angrily, "I don't need my phoenix powers to beat you!"

"Now all I have to do is get rid of your dragon powers." Iron Will said mischievously, holding up a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Blaze gasped. "No! Not Mountain Dew! You wouldn't dare!" He started backing up slowly.

"Try me!" Iron Will said, walking closer to him. Blaze was about to fly away, but Iron Will grabbed his wing and forced the mountain dew in Blaze's mouth. Mountain Dew, is a dragon's Tabasco sauce, REALLY SPICY! Blaze started tearing up and screaming as he swallowed the Mountain Dew. Iron Will laughed really hard. As Blaze mouth swollen up and is unable to talk, he just continues to fight Iron Will regardless.

“Whoa, whoa! Isn’t this against the rules!” Rainbow Dash complained. “This is wrestling!”

“This is the championships, Rainbow Dash.” Candy Cotton said worriedly. “There are no rules in championships.”

Iron Will begins to beat the living poop out of Blaze and takes him down hard. Blaze was in major pain and was defenseless against Iron Will. "This is the end of Blaze Goldheart!" he said as he then took a whole barrel of mountain dew from the snack bar, and he dumped it all over Blaze. Blaze started screaming and collapsed on the ground. He was wiggling around like a worm, unable to get up, as the mayor counted down.

Fluttershy went up to the ring and tried to get him up. "BLAZE! Get up! You have to finish this!" But Blaze was unable to get up. He just looked at Fluttershy with his swollen mouth that looks a lot like the 'Forever Alone' face.

"1.... 2..... 3..... 4....." the Mayor counted down.

"GET UP, BLAZE!" Fluttershy shook him.

"5..... 6..... 7....." the Mayor continued.

"DON'T GIVE UP! You still have a chance!" Flutters yelled at him.

"8.... 9..... 10.... OUT!" the Mayor yelled. "Iron Will wins!" Fluttershy started to get really upset.

Blaze was finally able to talk again afterwards, and he said to her, "It.... it's ok..... I'll find another way to..... get the money I need."

“Blaze…” Flutters mumbled.

“I was hard on my team. The championships got into my head, b-but… that’s… not the only thing that stressed me out.” Blaze admitted. Fluttershy started to tear up, and then she got really angry.

"NO!" she yelled. "I CHALLENGE YOU, IRON WILL!"

"It looks like we have a new challenger!" the Mayor said.

“Wow, wish I had a bit every time somepony repeated what I said.” Flutters complained.

“That’s what I said!” Crystal yelled.

“Wait… Cr-Crystal?” Blaze asked curiously. He weakly starts to ascend his head for a better view and he saw Crystal, me, and the rest of the Noble Six out in front of the bleachers, rooting out for him.

“You… you didn’t leave me.” Blaze said happily as he teared up, but was still too weak to move.

“So do you accept my challenge?” Flutters asked Iron Will.

Iron Will laughed. "HA! You can't fight! You're just a little weakling like you always were! You couldn't even last being assertive!"

"No, I can't, because I hurt my friends, and I WILL NOT stand by and see the same fate happen to my friend Blaze!" Fluttershy shouted at him.

"You're too kind to fight! Besides, even if you could fight Iron Will, he'd still WIN!" he taunted her.

"I'll be the judge of that!" Fluttershy said as she put on her headband and wrist bands. "LET'S DO THIS!"

"Flutter..... no!" Blaze weakly said.

"I will not let this monster ruin you!" Fluttershy said to Blaze.

"He's too dangerous!" Blaze yelled.

"I know what he's capable of." she said as she then growled at Iron Will. The bell then suddenly rung and the instrumental of Eye of the Tiger began playing in the background.

"I'll let you strike the first move." Iron Will said with a smile.

"Your mistake." Flutters said mischievously as the two of them started strafing around the wrestling ring, just staring at eachother mischievously until one of them strikes the first move. Once the music started to get a little more upbeat, Fluttershy started charging at him. Fluttershy gave Iron Will a big POW on the face, a big KICK in the stomach, a little TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE, and a big FINISH under the chin, but it wasn’t enough to defeat this monster. Iron Will still had a big advantage.

“Oh you’re just asking for it now!” Iron Will said mischievously.

“I am!” Flutters said mischievously as she lets out a quiet “Yay!”

“Hmm… I’ll go easy on you, Fluttershy. Let’s wrestle the proper way, without hitting or kicking eachother.” Iron Will suggested.

“Bring it on!” Flutters said. I gotta say, the two of them were really doing well in this round. It was hard to tell who was going to win. I never thought Fluttershy would wrestle so well. As the two were fighting, I began to sing a different version of Eye of the Tiger on the narration microphone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGJd8FLAqRA

“Fat and weak… what a disgrace. Guess the champ got to lazy.” I sang. “Ain’t gonna fly now he’s just taking up space; sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the draaaaaaain. But he’s no bum, he works down the street; he bought the neighborhood deli. Back on his feet, now he’s chopping up meat, come inside, maybe you’ll hear him saaaaaay…” I then ran up to Iron Will and Fluttershy to show them two different choices of bread. “Try the, rye or the kaiser, they’re our special tonight, if you want you can have an appetizer. You might love our salami and the liver’s alright, and they’d really go well with the ryyyyyyyye… or the kaiser!”

“You can’t win, Fluttershy! You’re too soft, and you always will be!” Iron Will taunted her as the two continued wrestling, and I continued to sing.

“So today, his deli comes first, still he dreams of his past days of glory… walks in the back and beats up on the liverwurst, all the while you can still hear him say… it’s the, rye or the kaiser, it’s the thrill of one bite, let me please be your catering advisor. If you want substitutions, I won’t put up a fight. You can have your roast beef on the ryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye… or the kaiser!” Dun… dun dun dun… dun dun dun… dun dun duuuuuun. “The rye or the kaiser!” Dun… dun dun dun.... dun dun dun… dun dun duuuuuun. “The rye or the kaiser!” Yeah so that last part just got repeated until the end.

Why did you listen to me sing though? I mean, by listening to me sing, you just missed half of the fight between Iron Will and Fluttershy. Iron Will started weakingly rocking around because he started to get tired, but Fluttershy was still pumped up as ever. Just then, Fluttershy mischievously gives Iron Will a little blow, and the wind from her blow made Iron Will topple over and collapse on the ground.

“1… 2…. 3….. 4…. 5….” The Mayor started counting down, leaving everypony in suspense. “6… 7…. 8…. 9…..” Iron Will tried to get up but he couldn’t, he was too weak. We knew he was finished. “…. 10…. OUT! Fluttershy is our new champion!” Everypony started cheering at Fluttershy, and even though Flutters was a little too shy to do bow, she was pretty happy to win the wrestling championship. Fluttershy decided to give out a few roars to the crowd, but as she was doing so, she gave a little cute hiccup which made her blush.

Iron Will got up angrily and said to Fluttershy; “You stole my championship from me. YOU STEAL MY CHAMPIONSHIP, I’LL MESS WITH YOU-” But before he can continue making that quote, Candy Cotton gives him a big kick in the face and he passes out.

“See, sis? I TOLD YOU I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!” Candy yelled out.

“Well… I certainly misjudged you, little sis. I guess I was being a little overprotective. I’m sorry.” Rainbow said.

“YOU KNOW WHAT, DASH?!” Candy yelled angrily at her, but then Candy gives her a big hug. “You’re the most awesome sister ever!”

Rainbow hugged back. “I agree! I am awesome, aren’t I?” Rainbow looked over and saw Blaze trying to get up.

“Uggghhh!” Blaze said, rubbing his head.

“Blaze, are you ok?” Rainbow asked.

“No… I’m not ok. I failed. I didn’t get the money. I’m right back to square one, and the worse part is…. I lost my friends.” Blaze said sadly.

“No you didn’t, brah!” I said, giving him a pat on the back.

“Flare?! B-but…. You left!” Blaze said.

“No completely. I wanted you to think we left. I planned this out with the Noble Six along. We’d never leave you; we wanted you to come to your senses, and Fluttershy was the one that brought them back!” I said.

“Oh… well… it was nothing really.” Fluttershy said as she blushed.

“I’m sorry, brahs. I won’t take you all for granted again.” Blaze said, apologizing to the Noble Six.

“It’s all good, Blaze.” Aqua said.

“Yeah. We all say stuff we might regret from time to time.” Engie said.

“I finally got my ice cream!” Crystal said.

“We’ll always be there for you, man!” Psyche said.

“Shut up, Psyche.” Blaze said.

“B-but….” Psyche was really confused to why he wasn’t thanking him.

“I’m only joking, man! It’s all good!” Blaze said. He then turned to me and smiled. “And, Flare. I was a bigger jerk to you. Your pizza isn’t terrible. I feel like a jerk.”

“Hey, it’s all good, man.” I said. “I know you know how it feels when you miss the toilet.”

A cutaway gag shows of me running down the stairs from Sugarcube Corner, and I hid inside the couch. Pinkie gasped upstairs and then she yelled angrily; “CRIMSON FLARE GUN!” The cutaway ends.

“I got it.” Blaze said, nodding.

“Oh, and Blaze, I think this belongs to you!” Fluttershy said as she gave him a huge check.

“What’s this?” Blaze asked.

“It’s the prize money. You’ll need it.” Flutters said.

“B-but… you won, this is your money!” Blaze said, giving the check back.

“Blaze, I already have the championship title, and I’m keeping the trophy. You need the money more than I do.” Flutters said, smiling at him. “Besides, with the friendship we have, it’s worth more than money.”

Blaze gave Fluttershy a big hug. “Thank you, Fluttershy! You’re too kind!”

“Stick a sign on his back! Stick a sign on his back!” I whispered to her.

“Wow… Fluttershy and Blaze. I never thought I’d see them together like that.” Aqua said.

“Ah know what you’re thinking, Aqua.” Engie said as he glared at him.

“No, I’m not going to make a fanfic ship of those two.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, Aqua, what’s wrong with you!” Crystal complained as she was typing on her laptop.

Later that night at my shop, I let Blaze make a letter to Princess Luna:

“Dear Princess Luna,
I learned that you shouldn’t take your friends for granted, and you can’t blame them for all they done for you. Just be lucky they have your back, no matter what. Also, if your little ones think they’re ready for the real world, they should prove it first before you go on to conclusions. Your faithful subject, Blaze Goldheart.” Blaze gave then Spike the scroll, and he sent it. “Thanks for your help, Spike!” Blaze said to him.

“Anytime, Blaze! Anytime!” Spike said as he walked out of my shop. Just then Spike gets hit by a giant snowball just as he walks out. He stuck his face out of the pile of snow, and then he yells, “GAH! WHAT THE?!” Then he saw me on Mareatron’s shoulder, and the two of us chuckled and high-hooved eachother. “Only you, Flare. Only you.” Spike complained as he shook his head.

“Of course me, because Psyche is a weakling, Engie's an engineer, Aqua is too nice, and Crystal's a girl!” I said as a bunch of snowballs were fired at me, and then I fell off Mareatron’s shoulder and landed in the snow.

“What did you say about me being a weakling?” Psyche asked mischievously.

”And me bein’ an Engineer?” Engie asked.

“And me being a girl?” Crystal asked.

“But yeah, Aqua is too nice.” Engie said.

Thundersnow

View Online

One snowy night, this was my sixth date with Pinkie Pie, so we both went to the bowling alley for this date. It was Pinkie's turn to bowl. "Go Pinkie go! Go Pinkie go!" I cheered. Pinkie takes her bowling ball and throws it in her lane, and it rolled very slowly towards the pins. The ball wouldn't roll any faster; it was just rolling really slowly. The ball knocks into the first pin, but very lightly, and it just shakes around in place, but not falling over.

"YAY!" Pinkie cried in cheer.

"Well, better luck next time, Pinks!" I said, but with all of Pinkie's hopping, the bowling pin continues to shake, and it knocks over the rest of the pins, GIVING A STRIKE!

"YAAAY! WOO HOO! STRIKE ONE!" Pinkie yelled in excitement, but then she suddenly stopped. "Wait, Flarey? Isn't having strikes bad? Three strikes and you're out?"

"That's baseball, Pinkie." I corrected her.

"Oh.... right!" Pinkie said hopping around and humming. "YOUR TURN!" she screamed in my ear as I was getting up to get my ball. "GO, FLARE, GO!" Pinkie cheered for me as she drops the bowling ball on my hoof.

"OW! OW! OW!" I shouted as I held onto my left hoof in pain.

"Get up you faker and bowl!" Pinkie giggled as she pushed me out into the lane so I can bowl.

"Alright, Pinks, alright!" I chuckled as I got up and walked over to the lane. I took the bowling ball, aimed for the pins, tip-hooved like Fred Flintstone, and I rolled the balls towards the pins and knocked down 6 pins.

“Yay! 6 pins! Great job, Flarey!” Pinkie cheered as she gave me a big hug.

“Ah ah ah! I’m not done yet!” I said to Pinkie mischievously as I then used my unicorn magic to levitate the bowling ball and knock over the other pins. “WOO HOO! YES! STRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- I’m gonna end it there. I’m not even gonna complete that word. Too many R’s. So, how you like that, Pinks?”

“Heeeey! You cheated!” Pinkie whined.

“It’s only a game, Pinks.” I said.

“Yeah, but you still cheated, that’s not fair!” Pinkie said.

“Life isn’t fair, Pinkie.” I said as I patted her on the back. “Look, I’ll change the score back to 6? How about that?” I asked her with a big smile and a squee.

“HAAAAAAAAAX!” Pinkie yelled as she pointed to me and a computer monitor gets thrown right on my face. After the monitor hits it me, I begin flying down the alley and knocking right into the pins on our lane.

“Now that’s the way you cheat. You were doing it wrong.” Pinkie said and giggled.

I started to chuckle as I rubbed my head in pain. “Pinkie Pie, you never seize to amaze me. Much like the random disasters that happen here in Ponyville.” I said.

A cutaway shows a news documentary about the most recent disaster in Ponyville. “Good evening. Tonight, on OX,” Grass Marks, the news announcer started, “we are here to witness the aftermath of… the Brony Invasion of Ponyville. Just look at the aftermath – bellies rubbed beyond repair, ears scratched into subjugation, and even manes brushed into Oblivion. This news cast just has one question… on the ponitity… why Bronies? Why? Which is why there is no portal to Equestria. Watch the full documentary tonight at 1 AM, because midnight is too overrated.” The cutaway ends.

After a half-hour went by, we finally finished our game. Pinkie beat me by 2 points, which wasn’t bad really. At least I came in second! As we were walking out, Pinkie told me an unfunny joke, and we were both laughing really hard. I was laughing because of how funny the stupidity of the joke was. Oh shut up, readers! I know what you’re gonna say! As we were both laughing, I went up close to Pinkie and gave her an angry laugh, which kinda confused her. Just as we were heading out, I saw my friends Crystal Iceblast and Black Thunder just finishing their bowling game.

“Oh snap! FLARE!” Crystal yelled as she hugged me.

“Whoa- Hey there, Crystal!” I said.

“HI FLARE!” Crystal yelled in my face.

“Yeah…. Hey.” I said.

“HI FLARE!” Crystal yelled in my face again.

“HI CRYSTAL!” Pinkie yelled in Crystal’s face.

“HI PINKIE!” Crystal yelled in Pinkie’s face, which was still pretty close to my ears…. Ow.

“What’s up, Flare?” Thunder asked as he gave me a bro-hoof.

“Not much, Thunder! Just bowling with the prettiest mare in the world!” I said to him.

“No, that’s what I’m doing!” Thunder said.

“You’re bowling with Pinkie?” I asked.

“No I’m bowling with Crystal.” Thunder corrected me.

“Well what are you doing then? I thought you said you were bowling with the prettiest mare in the world?” I asked.

“I am!” Thunder said.

“Ok you’re not making a *hic* of sense.” I said. That last hic was actually a hiccup.

“Now, now boys. We’re both equally pretty.” Crystal said, breaking up the argument. “I’m just more equal than Pinkie is.”

“Heeey! No you’re not! I’m more equal than you!” Pinkie corrected her.

“I’m more equal than you!” Crystal argued with her.

“No, I am!” Pinkie argued back.

”No, I am!”

“I am!”

”IIIIIII AAAAAAAMMMM!” Pinkie yelled.

“Alright, alright girls! Calm down! It doesn’t really matter! We’re all friends here!” Thunder said.

“It’s just some of us are friendlier than others.” I added.

“Shut it, Flare.” Thunder said, chuckling. “We don’t wanna start another argument.

“Or do we?” I said, looking back in forth suspiciously.

“Arguing is fun!” Pinkie said.

“I second that!” Crystal said.

“No, I second that!” Pinkie argued with her.

“No, I do!”

“I do!”

“I DO!”

“IIIIIIIIIIII DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“You know what, Thunder? Pinkie and I are going to go play mini-golf for our date tomorrow. Maybe we can make it a double-date, and you and Crystal can come!” I suggested.

“That’s a great idea, Flare!” Thunder said.

“It was my idea!” Crystal said.

“Sounds like fun, Pinks?” I asked her.

“Well, duh!” she said. “Mini-golf is super-dooper fun game! Just gonna swing that ball until it goes all those acres to get to the hole!” she explained, simulating the game by holding an imaginary golf club and whacking the ball.

“That’s regula-“ I was about to say, but then I heard a window break in the distance.

“HEY! Who’s imaginary golf ball is this?!” a voice asked from the distance.

“That’s regular golf you were doing, Pinkie.” I corrected her. “Mini-golf is where you gently hit the golf ball into a wind mill or something, and try to hit a hole close by.” I said as I simulated the game by holding an imaginary golf club and gently hitting the imaginary ball. Just then, Allie Way was walking by and she trips on the imaginary golf club, and falls on the floor.

“As long as we’re not filing any lawsuits, I guess it shouldn’t be a problem going on our golf date tomorrow.” Thunder said.

“So… see you guys tomorrow at 8?” I asked.

“You betcha!” Thunder said.

“Wait, is the location going to be 8, or the time?” Crystal asked. “Because I had that once before.”

So we all left the bowling alley and when Allie Way was trying to get up, Derpy walked by and she tripped on the imaginary golf ball and landed on her. “Yay! Do it again!” Derpy yelled in excitement.

The next night came; Pinkie and I were waiting for Thunder and Crystal to show up. I got the two of us some hot cocoa, since it was snowing out there. “Here’s your hot cocoa, Pinks!” I said, giving her a cup.

“YIPPIE!” she yelled and started drinking it in one gulp.

“So have you ever watched Wipe Out before?” I asked her. Then she spit out her cocoa right onto my face.

“YES! It’s such a funny show, Flare!” she said really fast. “You know I’d want to compete on Wipe Out, but Mrs. Cakes said it was too dangerous, which I know it’s too dangerous, but I don’t care, because it’ll be so super-super fun! Rainbow Dash said it would be awesome if I went on, and we went on together, we’d be an unstoppable team, and so…” she kept talking and talking and talking and talking, but I didn’t care, not one bit! But that doesn’t mean I was listening though. I was mainly making funny moves with my lips. Eventually, Crystal came to join the party. “CRYSTAL’S HERE!” Pinkie yelled.

”SO IS PINKIE!” Crystal yelled. Then they both playfully screamed at each other, and I was holding my ears.

“Yeah! So, what’s up Crystal?” I asked.

“Nothing much! I’m ready to play some golf!” Crystal said.

“SO AM I! Golf is so much fun!” Pinkie said, using her imaginary golf club again.

“So where is-“ I was about to say, but I heard loud ‘OW’. “So where is Thunder, Crystal?”

“Well I’m not sure who Thunder Crystal is, but Thundy’s getting our stuff over at the booth.” Crystal said.

“I hope he gets me the red ball. I won’t play golf with any other color but the red one.” I said.

“I hear ya. Thundy knows I only like playing with the green golf ball.” Crystal said.

“I like the pink ball!” Pinkie said.

“Obviously.” I said, chuckling and rolling my eyes.

“I know it’s so obvious!” Pinkie said excitedly. “Pink matches my bedsheets! That’s why I love it so much!”

“So while we wait, let me tell you what happened to me today.” Crystal said. “You all know Shadow Flash right?”

“I know him well!” I said.

”He sneezed today.” Crystal said.

Pinkie gasped. “THAT IS SO COOL! I can sneeze too!”

“Well, did anything interesting happen when he sneezed?” I asked.

“Yeah, he closed his eyes while he sneezed.” Crystal said.

“Yeah, I can never get that sometimes. Why do our eyes always get forced shut while we sneeze?” Pinkie asked.

“I know right? It’s not as if any of the snot will go in there. The nose is just right underneath the eyes. There’s no way any of the snot can go in there.” Crystal said.

“Yeah, trust me, I’ve tried.” Pinkie said.

“And what were the results?” Crystal asked.

“I ended up sneezing on Gummy.” Pinkie said.

“Oooo! Did he get sick?” Crystal asked.

“Well, that’s a stupid question. Alligators can’t get pony sicknesses, unless they were rats.” Pinkie said.

“I think rat’s DNAs are more similar to ponies.” Crystal said.

“Actually, they’re similar to human DNA.” I corrected her.

“Shut it, Flare, you’re not in this conversation.” Crystal said.

“Yeah!” Pinkie agreed. “I wonder which species is closest to pony DNA?”

“Probably horses.” Crystal said. I gave myself a facehoof and groaned, but why am I the one getting annoyed? I’m usually the annoyING, not the annoyED.

Meanwhile with Thunder, he walked over to the golf booth to get the golf clubs and balls for us. He rung the bell and the pretty blue mare came up to him and said; “Well hello, handsome!”

“Hey! I’ll like four golf clubs and four balls please. One white, one green, one pink, and one brown. Flare said he’d kill me if he didn’t get brown.” Thunder said.

“Not a problem!” the mare said said. “What is a handsome stallion like you doing out in the cold without a proper warm clothing?”

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m fine.” Thunder said.

“Here, I’ll give you a jacket, maybe I’ll make some hot tea for you!” the mare offered.

“No thank you.” Thunder said. “I have to get back to my friends, and…”

“Oh they can wait.” the mare said. “Just come in! Come in! I’ll make you some tea!”

“Well…. If you insist.” Thunder said weirdly.

“You won’t regret it.” The mare said, opening the door for him, giving an evil look. “You know, I never let ponies back here unless I know I can trust them!”

“I didn’t think you’d trust me that much. Do I know you from somewhere?” Thunder asked.

“Not that I recall.” The mare said, pouring some tea in two cups. “You seem to be exhausted.”

“Well, it was kind of a rough day on me today.” Thunder said.

”Aww, talk to me about it, maybe I can help.” The mare said, massaging his shoulders. Thunder started feeling a little uncomfortable.

“Well, uhhh… I got ripped off today at lunch. The waitress gave me the incorrect amount of change. She was 1 bit short! It made me upset, but I already left the restaurant until I found out.” Thunder said.

“Aww, poor you.” The mare said.

“Yeah. By the way, my name is Black Thunder.” Thunder said.

The mare giggled. “Black Thunder, huh? Sounds like a cute name! A cute name for a cute stallion like yourself!” she said, giving him a seductive look, staring close to him.

“Look, if you’re trying anything, I already have a marefriend.” Thunder said.

“Oh… well… I bet she doesn’t please you that much, does she?” the mare asked.

“Crystal Iceblast is the best, prettiest, funniest pony I have ever met, and I will not be tempted by a very hot and attractive that I should kiss right now mare such as yourself!” Thunder said.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Thundy.” The mare nodded. “I’ll let you go. But first, please drink this tea I made for you.”

“I’m not really thirsty right now, thank you.” Thunder said, walking slowly to the door.

“Please?! It’s all I want.” The mare stood in front of him with sad puppy eyes and said. Thunder knew that it was a bad idea, but he knew not to say ‘no’ to a pony in need.

“Ok. I’ll have one cup of tea, but then I’m taking the golf stuff, and I’m going to go play golf with my friends, got it?” Thunder asked.

“Nothing more.” The mare said.

“Ok, give me the tea.” Thunder said, sitting down. The mare gave Thunder the tea and he was a bit nervous, but he drank it slowly. Just then, he started to smile. “You know, maybe I was being a little too…. Hasty. Crystal isn’t as hot and attractive as you.” He said, rubbing under her chin.

“Well… that might be true.” The mare blushed.

“She doesn’t have to know. This will be between us.” Thunder said, holding her.

“Oh I second that!” the mare said giggling.

“Oh and just to let you know, I have herpes.” Thunder said.

“Doesn’t disgust me.” the mare said.

“Ew! You’re attractive and all, but you’re sick.” Thunder complained. “Almost as sick as babysitting.”

A cutaway shows Crystal sitting on her couch talking to Thunder on the phone. “Thundy, you’re the one that has to take care of him, alright? It’s none of my business. Just change his diaper, it’s not that hard. I don’t care if he smells like number two. He’s your grandpa and that’s what families do. No I will not get Flare involved with this. No, not Blaze either. Actually… I think Psyche might do.” The cutaway ends.

Back with me, Crystal, and Pinkie, those two kept blabbering on about sneezing and other weird stuff that girls like to talk about. I don’t hang with girls often so how would I know? Crystal is usually tomboyish, Water just talks about her looks and her world trip, Crèmepop just likes talking about what I wanna talk about, and I don’t hang with the Mane Six that much, except for Fluttershy and Pinkie; although, Flutters isn’t really the best conversationalist, and Pinkie just talks random like me. Yeah those are all the mares I normally hang with. I was currently feeling REALLY bored! “You know, maybe I should go check on Thunder.” I said to the mares.

“Alright, Flarey!” Pinkie said.

“It’ll give Pinkie and I some…. Mare time!” Crystal said.

“Yeah mare time!” Pinkie repeated.

“I said it first.” Crystal said.

“Sure thing, sistas!” I said to them, and then I walked over to the golf stand to check how Thundy was doing. The kiosk was closed though and Thunder was nowhere to be found. “Thundy? Thundy where are you, brah?” I called out for him but there was no response. I heard some giggling going on inside the booth so I just knocked on the door. “Hello? Is somepony saying a funny joke in there?” I asked. “Because of you are I need to hear it! It better has something to do with thumb tacks.” I opened the door, and I saw Thunder cuddling with the blue mare. Just cuddling though, nothing else, and there was kissing… and… umm… maybe there was a bit of… umm… tongue? But that’s it. Then again… Thundy wasn’t… umm… I think I should stop there. “THUNDER?!” I yelled.

“What?” Thunder asked, but then he shook his head real fast. “W-what just happened? WHERE AM I?!” He nervously looked over to the mare and the mare gave him a big wink. Thunder was freaked out.

“THUNDY HOW COULD YOU?!” I yelled.

“FLARE, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!” Thunder yelled.

“Is… HE your marefriend?” the mare asked.

“Wha- NO! He’s just a friend.” Thunder said.

“THUNDY, HOW COULD YOU?!” I freaked out. “I asked you to do one simple thing, and you end up rolling around in golf balls! Did you forget the Friendship Agreement?! If you roll around in anything ball shaped, I’M SUPPOSED TO BE A PART OF IT!”

“Wow… he’s just as I remembered.” The mare said.

“Wait, what do you say?” I asked her. “Who are you?”

“Phew… at least he didn’t think I was cheating on Crystal.” Thunder said.

“THUNDY YOU WERE CHEATING ON CRYSTAL?! TATOR!” I yelled out.

“NO, NO! It’s not what you think, Flare!” Thunder yelled nervously.

“TATOR TOT!” I yelled.

“NO! I really don’t know how this happened!” Thunder yelled.

“TATOR TOT!” I yelled.

“NO! I-it must be the tea!” Thunder yelled.

“TATOR TOT!” I yelled.

“NO! There must’ve been something in this tea, must’ve drugged me!” Thunder explained.

“TATOR TOT!” I yelled. Inside my throat were two ponies working a machine, and the word ‘TATOR TOT’ was riding through a conveyor belt, and getting shot up the tube.

“WE NEED MORE TATOR TOT’S DOWN HERE NOW!” one of the workers said.

“We’re trying! We’re running out of T’s!” a worker from the distance called out.

“Just rip off the bottom of the I’s and send them down here!” the pony near the machine suggested.

“But that’ll give us a lot of paper work!” the pony from the distance reminded him.

“I’ll take the heat! Just rip off the bottom of the I’s and send them down!” the pony near the machine instructed.

Back with Thunder and I, we were standing outside the booth. Thunder was nervous and I was concern. “Thunder, were you just cheating on Crystal?” I asked.

“Look, the mare drugged me alright? I’d never betray Crystal like this! She’s my special somepony! You have to believe me, Flare!” Thunder begged.

“I believe you, brah.” I nodded. “You can never trust these mares. I one time knew this mare back in Mareami named Blueberry Pie, and she did the same thing to some of the stallions in my school. You have to be careful around these mares, bro.”

“I know, and…. I feel ashamed!” Thunder said, holding his eyes.

”If we just explain it to Crystal, no harm will be done.” I said.

“We can’t tell Crystal!” Thunder freaked out and grabbed my vest. “She’ll break up with me for sure! It’ll break her heart! We can’t tell her!”

“We won’t if you let go of my jacket!” I said angrily at him. Thunder lets go of my jacket quickly, and I fixed it.

“Look, can you just keep this between us, Flare?” Thunder asked.

“Of course! You’re one of my best friends; I can’t betray you like this!” I said.

“Thank you, Flare. I mean it, it means a lot to me.” Thunder said, patting my shoulder.

“But next time you grab my jacket, or my vest for that matter, I’ll rip your chest hairs off.” I threatened him.

“I don’t have chest hairs.” Thunder corrected me. I then pulled off one of Thunder’s hairs from his fur on his chest. “OW!” he cried.

“Then what is this?” I asked him, showing him the piece of fur.

“Alright, alright! I won’t grab your jacket anymore.” Thunder promised.

“Good. I also hope you were going to get me the red ball.” I smirked at him.

“Umm… yeah, of course, Flare! I was totally going to get you the red ball!” Thunder lied.

“Well good, now how about we play some golf, huh?” I suggested.

“Yeah… of course!” Thunder said as he continued to get nervous.

So the two of us walked back over to Pinkie and Crystal, but meanwhile, that pretty mare chuckles as she walks over to that blasted pig, Doctor Swinebutt over at the other end of the park! “It’s done, Doctor! Thunder has officially betrayed Crystal.” The mare said.

“Ah! Excellent work, Blueberry Pie!” Swinebutt said. “Phase One of my plan has been complete! Now we must work on phase two: Have either Flare or Thunder spill the beans!” Swinebutt said mischieviously. “And then, when Flare is busy trying to get Thunder and Crystal back together, we’ll break into his shop, steal his secret recipe, and bring it over to my shop, and we’ll put Flare out of business for good!” Swinebutt started to laugh evilly and snorted about.

“Whatever, Porky. My work here is done.” Blueberry said and then she gave him a kiss on the nose, and walked off.

“Don’t worry, my dear! Soon I’ll have my vengeance!” Swinebutt said.

“Porky, dear… you do realize I’m VERY attracted to evil, right?” Blueberry asked as she rubs under Swinebutt’s chin with her tail.

“Stop stating the obvious, it’s dumb!” Swinebutt advised her.

“Ooo, I like your evilness!” Blueberry said seductively.

“It’s not evil, babe. IT’S SCIENCE!” Swinebutt yelled.

“Whatever, baby. Science is evil anyway.” Blueberry said.

“HOW DARE YOU?!” Swinebutt yelled.

“Oh pipe down, you evil thing you.” Blueberry said as she walks around Swinebutt with her tail in his face.

“Oooooh…” Swinebutt blushed and snorted, “For you, Blueberry.”

Meanwhile, Thunder and I walked back over to Crystal and Pinkie.

“Hey there you boys are! Ready to play some golf?” Crystal asked. I started laughing embarrassingly and crazy.

“Where have you two been?” Pinkie asked.

“We were just getting out of an affair-“ I said then Thunder punched me in the arm. “I mean, we’re trying to get a fair deal for these golf clubs. Such turned on prices!” Thunder punched me in the arm again. “I mean, rip-off your clothes prices!” Thunder punched me yet again. “I mean rip-off prices!” Then I started laughing like crazy again.

“Wow, and ponies thought I was crazy.” Pinkie said and giggled.

“Yep! But I can always rely on my Thundy-Wundy to get things done! I love you, Thundy!” Crystal said sweetly giving him a cuddle. Thunder got nervous because he’s afraid that Crystal will know what happened. We played our game of golf. It was tied between Pinkie and Crystal, I was third place, and Thunder was really nervous throughout the whole game. He kept telling Crystal how much he loved her, even more than usual. If you ask me, I think that’s one way of spilling the beans, but then again Crystal is a strange one, like Pinkie, she’ll never know…. Maybe. Later that night, I met up with Blaze, Aqua, Engie, and Psyche over at our usual hideout at the cider bar.

“And then that’s how I got Candy Cotton to do her chores.” Blaze said, finishing his story.

“Making a contest outta chores, huh Blaze? Sounds genius!” Engie said.

“Thanks, Engineer! I swear, when Rainbow and I finally have our kid, that’s how I’ll get her to do her chores.” Blaze said. I sighed.

“Flare, ya’ve been quiet. Is there something on ya mind?” Aqua asked.

“A tumor.” I said.

“It’s not a tumah!” Blaze said in a Terminator accent.

“Seriously, mate. Ya look upset.” Aqua said. “Even more upset than when the day ya were pulled over.”

A cutaway shows me stopping my carriage after a police officer pulled me over. He detached himself from the carriage and walked over to me. “There a problem, officer?” I asked.

“Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” the officer asked.

“No.” I said.

“Oh… dang. I was hoping you could remind me.” the officer said. The cutaway ends.

“Well…. I promised Thunder I wouldn’t say a thing, but I feel like I need to tell somepony.” I said.

“Tell us anything!” Psyche said.

“Well…. I saw him…. umm….” I stuttered.

“Cheatin’ on Crystal?” Engie asked.

“How did you know that?” I asked.

“If stallions ever want to hold in a secret, it’s most likely from their moms or their special someponies.” Engie said. “And you’d have no idea how many secrets ah kept from mah mom.”

“But she’s a robot though.” Psyche reminded him.

“REALLY?! You think ah don’t know that?!” Engie asked him angrily. “Stupid Psyche.”

“You can’t call me stupid, Engie. I’m the one with the PH.D.” Psyche said mischievously as he chuckled a bit.

“Well that’s not like him. He’s really loyal to Crystal, so I’ve heard.” Blaze said.

“Yeah I know. How can he do this?” I asked.

“Flare, relationships are a powerful type of friendships. More powerful than the friendships between the Mane Six. That’s why I haven’t had a relationship yet, I don’t want to risk making any mistakes. I need to have more money first.” Psyche explained.

“Yeah, but I don’t know what to do. I feel that I’ll accidentally spill the beans!” I said. My friend Dark Runner walks by carrying a bowl of beans and he sits down at the table behind me.

“Flare, you know what? This is yer chance!” Engie said.

”What do you mean?” I asked.

“Ah mean, ya can use Thunder. Threaten to expose his mistake if he doesn’t do what ya say.” Engie suggested.

“What are you saying, Engie?” I asked.

“Aww man, I spilled my beans!” Dark Runner complained behind us.

“HA!” Blaze laughed.

“He means, you can get Thunder to do whatever you want him to do, and if he doesn’t do what you say, you can tell Crystal on him.” Psyche said.

“What? That’s not right! Thunder is my friend, and I’m loyal to him.” I said.

“Yeah, guys, seriously!” Blaze agreed.

“Yeah, but you seen what he did was disloyal to Crystal. We’ll see how he feels about it!” Engie suggexted.

“Well… I guess it wouldn’t hurt. He has that cool bubblegum machine I’ve always wanted for my shop.” I said.

“Bingo!” Engie said.

“Now Flare, isn’t that wrong? Ya can’t do that to Thunder. Ya’ll lose his friendship with him.” Aqua warned me.

“Ahh don’t ruin the fun for him Aqua! It’s perfect!” Engie said.

“Besides, you’re hiding something from Crystal, and you’ll get part of the blame if you hide it from her!” Psyche said.

“That is true, brah.” I nodded.

”Flare, I’m telling ya, don’t do it. Two wrongs don’t make a right ya know.” Aqua said.

“No, but three rights make a left, right Flare?” Psyche teased, and then I laughed.

“Just for making me laugh Psyche, I’m giving you a gold star on your ‘Making Me Lawl’ chart.” I said, giving him a gold star under his name. He had the least amount of stars than anypony else, that’s his second star. Aqua has 6 stars, Blaze has 8, Engie has 12, and Crystal has 31.

“Yay!” Psyche cheered, clapping his hooves.

“Well, I hope I don’t feel like Spike after I blew his nose.” I said. Another cutaway shows Spike and I sitting on my couch. “Hey Spike?” I said to him and then I blew in his nose and his head exploded and confetti came out. “Hahahaha! Evolve much?” I teased him.

I know this is a bad idea, I should know better. I mean… I haven’t made any mistakes since chapter 12! I’m doing great so far, but now I’m gonna ruin it. Thanks a lot Engie and Psyche! You two are bad influences on me. Mainly you Engie. Later that night, Thunder and Crystal were sleeping, but Crystal woke up after she heard a noise downstairs. “Thundy, Thundy wake up!” Crystal whispered to him.

“N-no, shoot, that was my last quarter.” Thunder said in his sleep.

“Wake up!” Crystal said a little louder as she shook him.

“Huh-oh, what?” Thunder asked as he woke up.

“I think there’s an uninvited trespasser downstairs!” Crystal whispered.

“B-but, all trespassers are uninvited, how can there be an invited trespasser?” Thunder asked.

“Get up!” Crystal demanded, pushing him out of bed, and then she got up and grabbed a baseball bat.

“Hey, wait a minute! Where’s my weapon?” Thunder asked.

“Oh, right… umm….” Crystal thought for a second and then she grabs the fresh scent spray and gives it to him.

“Ahh perfect! You’ll whack the living crud outta them, and I’ll make them smell like a springtime meadow!” Thunder said smiling.

“Right!” Crystal nodded. So they both tip-hooved down the stairs and into the hallway as Crystal was humming the Pink Panther theme song until Thunder finally shushed her. Crystal then zipped her lip…. No really she did, it was an actual zipper. As Thunder and Crystal were looking around, Crystal started mumbling.

“What?” Thunder asked.

Crystal then unzipped her lip and whispered, “I think we should split up.”

“What?! I did not cheat on you, I swear!” Thunder whispered nervously.

“What? No! Where did you get that from?” Crystal asked confusingly.

Thunder realized that it was not what she meant. “Nothing, nevermind.”

Crystal then tip-hooved over to the kitchen as Thunder checked the living room. They went in a circle and then they bumped into eachother; they got startled and Crystal started whacking Thunder with the baseball bat, and Thunder started spraying at her with the fresh scent can, but then they finally realized what’s going on. Thunder got up and turned on the lights. Thunder was all bruised up, and Crystal started coughing.

“Aww, Crystal! I can’t believe you whacked me a million times with that baseball bat!” Thunder complained.

“I can’t believe you made me smell like a Hearth’s Warming tree!” Crystal complained.

“Alright, you check inside the house if the robber is still here, I’ll check the backyard.” Thunder instructed him.

“Sounds good, Thundy! Be careful!” Crystal advised him.

“You too.” Thunder said. Thunder walks over to the sliding glass door, unlocks it, and then opens it, and speak of the Wizard of Hope! There I was, relaxing in Thundy’s hot tub.

“Hey Thundy! Holy Wizard of Strength, did Crystal finally know?” I asked as I observed his bruises.

“What- Flare?! What are you doing here?” Thunder asked.

“Oh I was feeling like I needed to relax, so I decided to use your hot tub.” I said.

“Can’t you use the one in the public pool?” Thunder asked.

“Nah, this one is more private.” I said. “Besides, if I pee in this one, nopony would be suspicious. I mean… I don’t think they would anyway. It’s a hot tub, and pee is hot, but it doesn’t make it hotter, so I guess it doesn’t make much of a difference.”

“Get out!” Thunder ordered me.

“Oh no, Thundy, you’re gonna show me a little more respect, brah. Things are gonna be changing around here.” I said to him mischievously.

“What are you getting at, Flare?” Thunder asked.

“I’m getting at, unless you want me to tell Crystal about your little incident, you’ll start doing what I say!” I said.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Thunder said nervously.

“OH CRYSTAL?!” I yelled out.

“FINE, FINE! Shhhh! I’ll do what you say.” Thunder said angrily.

“How about showing a little smile on your face first?” I asked.

“Ok, Flare, I’ll do what you say.” Thunder said with a fake smile.

“Say it like Mickey Mouse.” I ordered him.

“Ok, Flare, I’ll do what you say. Oh-ho!” Thunder repeated in a Mickey Mouse voice.

“Now do it in a terminator accent.” I ordered him.

”Okeh, Flare, ah’ll do what you saeh.” Thunder repeated in a terminator accent.

“HA HA HA HA! That’s hilarious, brah!” I said. “By the way, when did you get a hot tub?”

“This isn’t mine, it’s Crystal’s.” Thunder corrected me.

“Thundy? What’s going on out there?” Crystal yelled out from the inside. Thunder looked at me nervously, and I just smirked at him and shook my head.

“Nothing, Crystal! It was probably just the wind!” Thunder answered.

“Good boy, Thundy! Good boy!” I said nodding.

“Thanks.” Thunder said.

“Ah ah ah!” I interrupted him. “No speaky to the Flare, until the Flare speaky to you!”

“This is going to be a tough week for me, I can tell.” Thunder said, facehooving himself.

The next morning came and Thunder went outside to retrieve his newspaper when suddenly I popped out of nowhere, jumped on his back, and Thunder started kicking around like a bull. “WHOA! WHAT THE?!” Thunder yelled.

“Giddy up, horsey! Yeee haw!” I yelled out, riding on his back. Eventually he was rough enough for me to fall off his back. I fell to the ground and I started laughing. “That was fun! I’ve always wanted to ride on a bull!”

“I’m not a bull!” Thunder yelled at me.

“YES YOU ARE!” I corrected him.

“Why did you do that for?” Thunder asked.

“You’re my servant now; you must do what I say.” I said smirking at him.

“Look, just because I made a simple mistake and you know my secret, doesn’t mean you get to boss me around and such.” Thunder advised me.

“Well…. unless you want me to tell Crystal about what happened, you won’t have to do what I say.” I said.

“Alright, Flare, alright!” Thunder said as he rubbed his head. “What else is there that you want your hinneyness?” he said sarcastically.

“OH! You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” I asked.

“I’m almost too afraid to ask.” Thunder said.

“A market cart joust!” I said.

“What?” Thunder asked.

“We go on market carts, and do a joust! You know what a joust is?” I asked.

“I know what a joust is, Flare.” Thunder said with an attitude.

“Good because I don’t.” I said.

“Actually, a market cart joust sounds pretty fun!” Thunder said.

“Oh if you have fun with it, then let me change a few things.” I said with a smirk.

“I’m the one that carries the big stick in trying to get you off your cart, and all you carry is spoon!” I said.

“Hey, at least it’s easier for me to dodge.” Thunder said, shrugging.

“Dodging is against the rules in joust.” I reminded him.

“What? No it’s not.” Thunder corrected me.

“Want me to tell Crystal our little secret?” I asked.

Thunder sighed. “Fine. Let’s do the joust!”

“Praise the Wizards!” I yelled in excitement. So we went over to the market place and took a couple of carts. I took the corn cart and Thunder took the lima bean cart. “Aw man! I wanted the lima bean cart!” I said.

“Wanna switch carts?” Thunder asked.

“No, it’s fine. Here’s your spoon.” I said as I gave him a spoon.

“I’m starting to have second thoughts about this, bro.” Thunder said.

“Hey, it’s your choice to back out. I mean, if you want to keep Crystal in your arms, you’d do this for her.” I reminded him.

“Yeah, I suppose.” Thunder said.

“C’mon! You said it yourself, it’ll be fun!” I said.

“That’s true.” He said nodding.

“Get on your cart and let’s head to those twin hills over there.” I instructed him as I pointed to the hills at the landscape up ahead. I took my cart up the left hill while Thunder put his on the right and we put some blocks on the wheels so the carts won’t slide down ride away. The two of us sat on top of the cars, wearing armor, and I was carrying the big stick joust stick while Thundy was carrying a plastic spoon. “Ready, Thundy?” I asked.

“I don’t wanna do this!” Thunder yelled nervously.

“GO!” I yelled as I removed the blocks from both of our wheels. Our carts started rolling down the hills and I put out my joust stick, pointing it right at Thundy, and Thundy nervously put out his spoon and we both started going really fast at eachother. I just looked at him mischievously, but Thundy was feeling really nervous, but just as we were close to eachother, our carts crashed right into eachother and we were all bruised and cut up in the debris.

“Ugh! I told you this was a bad idea!” Thundy yelled as he crawled out of the debris.

I stuck out my head on top of the debris and I was all bruised up too, but I smiled. “What are you talking about, man? That went exactly as I wanted it to go!”

Later on, back at my shop, I just finished a pizza for Spark Note, and then Thunder walked out of the bathrooms wearing rubber gloves. He went up to me and said, “Ok, Flare. I cleaned your bathrooms, unrusted your pizza trays, changed the light bulb on the L in your sign outside, scrapped off all the gum under your tables, undusted the picture frames, and fixed that pipe leak on top of the stage.”

“Awesome work, Thundy! I knew I can count on you!” I said excitedly.

“I’m starting to question our friendship right now because of all this.” Thunder said.

“Unfriend me and it’ll be the last time you see Crystal smiling at you.” I said.

“I can only take so much you know.” Thunder warned me.

“It’s alright, Thundy. There are just a few more things I want, and we’ll call it even.” I said.

“And what’s that?” Thunder asked. Back at Thunder’s house, Crystal was chatting with Pinkie about the toilet paper in the bathroom upstairs, when suddenly, Thundy and I were carrying out a flatscreen TV.

“Thanks for the TV, Thundy! I knew you’d make the right choice! My shop needed another TV.” I said.

“AAAH! Repo stallions!” Pinkie yelled.

“Thundy? Why are you giving Flare our TV?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah, Thunder. Why?” I asked him with a smirk.

Thunder sighed and said, “Because Flare is the bestest friends a stallion can ever hope for, and he makes better shooting noises than I do.”

“Pew, pew, pew!” I said.

“Oh how sweet of you Thunder!” Crystal said, smiling at him.

“Aww Flarey, aren’t you lucky to have a great friend like Thunder?” Pinkie asked.

“I sure am, Pinks! I sure am!” I said as I winked at Thunder. Thunder just rolled his eyes. Later that night, I walked out of Thunder’s bathroom, carrying a newspaper and whistling.

“Enjoying my bathroom?” Thunder asked.

“I sure did, Thundy!” I said, smiling at him, but the smile ended quickly. “B-T-W, you might need to call a plumber.

“Did you clog my toilet again?” Thunder asked.

“No, I clogged your sink again.” I corrected him.

“Flare, I can’t do this anymore!” Thunder said.

“You’re right skateboarding is so overrated, huh?” I asked.

“No! I love skateboarding, dude! It’s just…. I don’t want to be your servant anymore. I don’t want Crystal to know about my accidental affair though, but I don’t want to be your slave, alright?” Thunder explained.

“It’s alright, brah. I’m done!” I said.

“I’m not gonna do anything more, because I- Wait, did you say you were done?” Thunder asked.

“Yep! I don’t need you to do anything more for me.” I said.

“Y-you don’t?” Thunder asked.

”No. Look…. I didn’t want to do this at first, but my friends talked me into it, and it sounded cool at first, but it didn’t make me feel right.” I said.

“So…. It was Rainbow Dash that did it?” Thunder asked.

“What? No! This isn’t Book 1 anymore! I don’t hang out with the Mane Six as much as I used to, I hang with the Nobles now.” I reminded him.

“Oh…. I see.” Thunder said nodding.

“I apologize brah. I mean, I was going to get you to do something worse tonight, but I changed my mind.” I said.

“Well…. at least I know you won’t tell Crystal about my affair.” Thunder said in relief.

“I know, brah, and to be honest, I wasn’t going to anyway if you disobeyed me.” I said. Just then, I looked behind Thunder and saw Crystal. “Oh hey, Crystal!”

“Huh? Oh hey, babe!” Thunder said to her, but Crystal had a shocking look on her face. “Uhh, babe? You alright?”

“I… I don’t believe you! Thundy…. Is this true?” Crystal asked.

“Hey you rhymed!” I said to Crystal.

“Thundy…. You…. Had an affair?” Crystal asked.

Thunder was silent for a sec. “I… yes…” Thunder admitted.

“OH SNAP!” Crystal yelled with tears in her eyes.

“Crystal! I’m sorry! Please, don’t go!” Thunder begged.

“It’s too late, Thundy! You ruined my trust! I can’t believe you’d do this to me!” Crystal started crying and she ran into the bedroom and locked the door.

“CRYSTAL!” Thunder begged as he pulled on the door on the door and knocked on it many times. “Crystal, come out! I’m sorry!”

Suddenly, I just popped out, facing the camera with a Looney Tunes tube behind me. I then laughed and said; “It looks like I got a pony in another situation! How will I get him out of this one? Stay tuned!” Then I started singing. “Because we have Blaze, and Aqua, and Engie, and Psyche; and all your cartoon paaaaaaaals!”

Meanwhile, over at my shop, Dr. Swinebutt started sneaking over to my front door so he can break inside and take over my business. Before he could do anything, he heard something in the bushes. “What?” Swinebutt asked himself. He looked over but didn’t see anything. “Must be just the relative motion of oxygen gases.” He said and snorted. Swinebutt suddenly took out a small device and stuck it on the door, but the noise was heard in the bushes again. Swinebutt activated his mechanical horn and aimed it towards the bushes. “Who’s there? I know somepony is there!” he said cautiously and snorted. Just then, a pony came out and it was his former assistant and the one that tried to put my shop out of business: Boorlie Pomodoro.

“Doctor!” Boorlie said.

“Ah, Boorlie Pomodoro! You….. got out of the dungeon.” Swinebutt said.

“Yeah, exactly! I see you’re breaking into Flare’s shop, huh?” Boorlie assumed.

“Yes, in fact I am!” Swinebutt said.

“Trying to put him out of business, huh? Here, I can help you again, like old times! We both can take Flare’s shop out of business and rule it together. Teach him for putting me out of business!” Boorlie suggested angrily.

“Sorry, Boorlie, but you’re not my assistant anymore. I already told you that did I not?” Swinebutt reminded him.

“I know, but I was in the dungeon then. I’m here now! We can finally have our revenge on Flare Gun for ruining us both!” Boorlie suggested.

“Boorlie, let me tell you something. You are a worthless, spineless wimp.” Swinebutt insulted him. “You already failed me once and I never give second chances for those who failed epically.”

“Doctor Swinebutt! I know we had some difficulties in the past, but I assure you, it will not happen again! Please, doctor! Gimmie another chance!” Boorlie begged.

“I have a policy, Boorlie. No second chances, no excuses! That, and we can only use Puff’s tissues, not the leading brand.” Swinebutt said. Then he used his mechanical horn to electric shock him and he falls on the ground.

“Swinebutt….. why?” Boorlie asked weakly.

“I told you why. Now get out of my sight! Make yourself useful, and get lost!” Swinebutt demanded as he blew his nose with Puff’s tissues. “Ahh, so very soft. Helps my nose not get all red and stuff.” Swinebutt then started pressing buttons on his little device to attempt to break into my shop.

“So that’s the way it’s gonna be, huh?” Boorlie asked, feeling betrayed.

“I SAID…. GET LOST!” Swinebutt ordered him with a glowing look in his red eyes. Then the little device that was on my door used a little plasmatic burst to make a little hole on my doo, without destroying the glass. It’s kinda complicated to explain. Swinebutt crawls right in and then the device shuts off, fixing the door.

“So that’s how it’s going to be, huh Swinebutt?” Boorlie asked. “Flare is still my enemy, but now it seems I have two! Go ahead and take over his business, you pig!” Boorlie goes over and looks at Swinebutt’s BBQ shop across the street. “Because I have another revenge plan to comprehend.” He then laughed evilly.

“Oooo, I like a stallion with a sweet taste of revenge.” Blueberry Pie said seductively to him as she leaned on his shoulder.

“Who are you?” Boorlie asked.

“Blueberry Pie; you know me, Boorlie.” Blueberry corrected him.

“Oh… I didn’t recognize you for a second there. Is that a new look?” Boorlie asked.
“Sort of. It’s a disguise so if Flare ever sees me, he wouldn’t recognize me.” Blueberry said. “I needed to make my plan with Swinebutt work, and the only way to do that was to make me not look familiar to anypony who knows me.”

“Looks like it worked. Now since you’re attractive to evil and all, how about helping me get into Swinebutt’s bloody shop and help me takeover it?” Boorlie suggested.

Later that night, Thundy was sobbing on his sofa and I was trying to comfort him. “I… I can’t believe she broke up with me!”

“Hey, it could be worst, brah. It could be worse.” I said.

“WORSE?! How can it be worse?! My special somepony is gone and it’s all your fault!” Thunder yelled at me.

“My fault? My fault!? You were the one that spilled the beans!” I reminded him.

“Oh no! Not again!” a voice in the background yelled out.

“Yeah, but…. I dunno man. I’m so stressed out right now! I can’t live without Crystal! She’s….. she means everything to me!” Thunder said as he continued weeping.

”I know, Thundy. I know, but look at it this way! This is your chance to go out and see other mares! Simple is that!” I suggested.

“I dunno, bro. Crystal is the only pony for me. I dunno if seeing other mares is actually a good idea.” Thunder said.

“Trust me, man! Once I’m done with you, you’ll be as happy as witch in a broom factory!” A cutaway gag shows a witch flying around in a broom factory and laughing really hard. She goes down near one of the factory workers and demands for the broom in one the worker’s hooves.

“Oh.” The worker said as he gives it to her. The witch starts flying around and laughing again. “I’m gonna stick up to her!” the worker said.

“No you’re not.” Another worker said.

“I know.” The first worker said upsettingly.

Two ponies on a stage were playing their guitars, and one of them says; “You know, when ponies save hundreds of bits by switching to Geico sure are happy.”

“How happy are they, Johnny?” the other guitar pony asked.

“Happier than a witch in a broom factory.” Johnny said.

“Get happy, get Geico! 15 minutes could save you 15% or more.” A voice in the background said as the Geico logo appears on the screen, and the witch continues flying around. The cutaway ends.

Later on, I took Thundy to the skateboarding park just outside of town. We were sitting on a bench next to a straw-shaped ramp. “So Thundy, are you ready to meet some chicks?” I asked.

“I dunno about this, Flare.” Thunder said nervously. “You think I’m ready to get some chicks?”

“Of course! So let’s head over to Sweet Apple Acres and get some!” I said.

“Then why are we here?” Thunder asked.

“To find the perfect mare for you! After this, I was thinking of adopting a baby chicken.” I said.

“Oooook. So what do you think?” Thunder asked.

“Well, the skateboarding park is a great place to find that extreme pony you’ve always wanted! It can be any of these mares! Like that one, that one, or the one with the long blond hair.” The pony with the blond hair turned around and it was revealed to be a stallion. “… that looks like a stallion.”

“I’m not too sure about this.” Thunder said nervously.

“Trust me, brah! Have I failed you before?” I asked. Thunder looked back and started thinking about all the times I failed him, like installing some rockets in his skateboard, and he rides right into a train; and the time I got him to bungee jump from a plane, and he lands in front of a train; and the time I got him to try my jalapeno and pepperoncini, which gave Thunder some fire breath which blasted him right onto a bear, and then the bear chased Thunder until he ran into a train.

“I have no comment to say.” Thunder said.

“Look, brah. See all these pretty mares? It’s up to you, to win them over!” I said, poking his nose.

“Well… I’ll try.” Thunder said. So Thunder went up to a skateboarding mare who stopped for a juice box, and he said; "What's up, sister?"

"Hey! Not much!" the mare smiled at him. "Just enjoying the skateboarding life! You a skateboarder too?"

"Sure am, dudet!" Thunder said.

"Well then, dude, show us what ya got!" the mare said, smirking at him.

"Sure thing, girl! Let me show you how it's done! Just don't get in my way." Thunder said. He started taking his skateboard and started doing awesome stunts on the ramps, like spins, and twists, and watching TV, and playing checkers, and even looking at himself in the mirror. When he jumped off the ramp, he finally landed next to the mare and her friends.

"Wow! I gotta say, that was some unique moves!" one of the mares said.

"Yeah, I'll say!" another mare said.

"Unique? Didn't know you knew that word." Thunder said to her.

"Uhh... yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I?" the mare asked confusingly.

"I can show you some basics if you want!" Thunder suggested.

"Uhh, we know how to skateboard, dude." the mare said.

"What do ya say we grab some lunch?" Thunder asked.

"Ok, sure!" the mare said. "Mind if my friends come?"

"Sure!" Thunder said, and then he shouted out at me; "Hey, Flare?! Wanna come with us for lunch?"

"Sure!" I said walking over.

"Anyways, my name is Black Thunder." Thunder introduced himself. "And this is-"

"MY NAME IS FLARE!" I shouted out, cutting Thunder off. "Sorry, I don't like it when others introduce me. I like to introduce myself."

"That's cool! Alright, let's eat!" the mare said. "My name is Flame Spark, and this is my friend Orange Rust!"

"Nice to meet you both!" Thunder said.

"I own a pizza shop!" I said.

"Wow! Sounds really interesting!" Orange Rust said as we sat down at a table near the Hot Dog stand.

"I'll go get us some wieners... by that, I mean hot dogs." I said, and we all laughed. "B-R-B!" I got up to order some hot dogs.

"So... Flame Spark. How long have you been skateboarding for?" Thunder asked.

"All my life! I've became a pro for like 8 years!" Flame said.

"And how many days is 8 years?" Thunder asked smiling.

"Uhhh... I dunno. Why you ask?" Flame asked confusingly.

"It's trivia! The mares love trivia! My old marefriend used to love it!" Thunder said.

"Ooooook then." Flame said awkwardly.

"How long have you been skateboarding for?" Orange asked.

"All my life! Since I was like 6!" Thunder said.

"Nice!" Flame Spark said.

"Do you know how many years ago that was?" Thunder asked with a big grin on his face.

Flame Spark and Orange Rust looked at eachother confusingly. "Is this another one of your trivia questions?" Flame asked.

"Yeah!" Thunder nodded. "Wanna see another cool skateboarding move? I like to show them off!"

"Uhh, no thanks." Flame smiled. "I'd rather have my food."

"Me too! I'm starving! How long until it'll get here?" I asked, sitting next to Thunder.

"I thought you were getting it?" Flame asked.

"I did." I said, putting the hot dogs on the table.

"Well then. It's a good thing our food is here!" Orange said excitedly.

"Here, want me to feed you Flame?" Thunder asked, taking her hot dog.

"No thanks, I can feed myself." Flame said.

"Oh, I insist! I'll do anything to make you happy!" Thunder insisted.

"Uhh, yeah. I'm good...." Flame said confusingly.

"It's a pleasure, Flame!" Thunder said. Flame groaned and rolled her eyes.

"So, any of you play video games?" I asked.

"I do sometimes, but most of the time I like to-" Orange said, but as she was talking, when Flame took a bite from her hot dog, Thunder started wiping her face.

"Hey, HEY! What are you doing, Thunder?" Flame asked.

"I was wiping your face." Thunder said with a squee.

"I can wipe my own face, thank you!" Flame said angrily.

"Sorry! It's just that my old marefriend liked it." Thunder said.

"Yeah, I think you're still in love with her, Thunder." Flame said angrily and got up from her seat. "C'mon, Orange, let's go!"

Thunder was really confused. "Wha-what just happened?" he asked.

"You screwed up! That's what happened! We were doing so well, what happened?" I shouted at him.

"I dunno, I thought mares liked that?!" Thunder shouted at me.

"Not everypony is like Crystal you know. You can't seem to get her outta your head, can you?" I asked.

"You know what, Flare? You're right. I can't get Crystal out of my head." Thunder said. "I mean, it wasn't my fault, that mare was taking control of me! I had no control of myself! I was just being nice and drunk some of her coffee, but.... I dunno. It's like somepony wanted this to happen."

"Well.... we can think of revenge later, but for now, how about we get you and Crystal back together?" I asked him.

"You think she'll forgive me?" Thunder asked.

"Of course, brah! It's always a happy ending! The minute you walk back to Crystal's place, she'll start crying tears of joy knowing you came back, and she'll be begging for ya back!" I said.

But just then, as we went over to Crystal's house, "NO!" Crystal yelled. "I didn't say I wanted to order a new sofa!" Crystal was on the phone with the Quills and Sofas guy. "I said I wanted quills, I'm out! Why do you sell quills and sofas? You had two jobs, dude! TWO JOBS!" Just then, Crystal's doorbell rung and then she groaned. "I'll call you back. Somepony's at the door." Crystal hung up and then she answered the door.

"Hey, Crystal!" Thunder said, smiling at her, and then she instantly closed the door on his face. “Well that’s a spot of luck.”

“Here, she’s not mad at me. Let me try.” I insisted as I knocked on the door. Knock, knock, knock; “Crystal?” Knock, knock, knock; “Crystal?” Knock, knock, knock; “Crystal?”

“FLARE’S HERE, YAY!” Crystal cried in excitement as she opened the door. “Hey Flare! It’s good to see yo- oh… he’s with you.” She glared at Thunder.

"Crystal! Thundy has something to say!" I said.

"Go away!" Crystal yelled trying to shut the door, but then I quickly placed my hoof right beside the door, stopping it from closing, but it hurt pretty bad.

"OOOOOW! That hurt!” I yelled in pain.

“Get your hoof outta the way, Flare. I don’t wanna talk to that slimeball.” Crystal demanded angrily. “Oh and I don’t wanna talk to Thunder either.”

"CRYSTAL! There's donuts out here!" Thunder yelled.

"DONUTS!" Crystal yelled in excitement. She opened the door fairly quickly and rushed out. I held onto my hoof as it was all swollen up.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Why am I the one with the bad karma here?” I asked.

“You tried to blackmail me, remember?” Thunder reminded me.

“BLACKmail, why call it that? That sounds really racist.” I complained.

"Crystal, please listen to me!" Thunder begged.

"Go away, Thunder! I never wanna see you again!" Crystal cried. “Now where’s the donuts?”

"There are no donuts.” Thunder said. “Crystal, I can explain! Look, it wasn't me! It was the coffee I drank!"

“There’s no DONUTS?! You lied to me again, Thundy! How could you do this?!” Crystal cried.

“I was drugged, Crystal.” Thunder said.

"What are you talking about?" Crystal asked.

“You may not believe me, but it’s true alright?” Thunder asked. “I would NEVER betray you like this. EVER!”

“Wh-wha… what do you mean?” Crystal asked curiously.

“Look.... back at the golf course, the mare behind the counter wanted me to come inside and give me some coffee because she thought I was cold. She was starting to seduce me, so I decided to leave, but she begged me to stay to have the coffee, and I can't say no to any mare, but once I drank the coffee..." Thunder started tearing up. "I... I don't know what happened! The coffee.... it.... brainwashed me! You're the only mare for me Crystal, and... I'm sorry! I... I really am. I... I... can't live without you."

Crystal turned around and looked at Thunder. "Thundy.... that's not what I'm mad about."

"You're mad because of my affair, right?" Thunder asked.

"Affair? I don't even know what an affair is!" Crystal said.

"Then... what were you mad about?" Thunder asked.

"That sweater I gave you yesterday.... you.... you didn't wear it once. It... it broke my heart. Thought you didn't love it. Thought...." Just then, the song 'A Moment Like This' by Kelly Clarkson was playing in the background.

"Crystal.... I.... I love the sweater!" Thunder admitted, grabbing her hooves.

"Then.... why didn't you wear it?" Crystal asked.

"Because we were in the house and... the heater is on." Thunder explained.

"Oh.... right." Crystal said.

"Crystal... I'm sorry." Thunder said.

Crystal starts crying tears of joy, and then she hugged him real tight. "Apology accepted, Thundy! I could never say no to you!"

"See? Told ya!" I said.

"No need to rub it in, Flare." Thunder said. "And turn off the music!" I then turned off my Ipod where 'A Moment Like This' was playing. Yeah, it was pretty overkill, wasn’t it?

"Spoil the moment, Thundy. I was getting dem feels on." I said.

"I love you, Thundy!" Crystal said, cuddling on Thunder.

"I love you too, Crystal." Thunder said, holding her tight. "And Flare, turn off the music!" I turned off my Ipod again because I was playing 'A Moment Like This' once again. See? I knew it was a happy ending! But will it be for long? While the two were snuggling, I wasn't aware that Swinebutt was still at my shop trying to locate my secret recipe.

"Where is it? Where is it?" Swinebutt asked himself as searched under my office floor. "The recipe has to be around somewhere! I have to put Flare out of business or.... of course! The Canterlot shop!" Just then, as Swinebutt snorted, he heard an alarm going off from across the street. "D'oh! What's that noise?" He exits my shop and goes outside to see a broken window. "BOORLIE!" Swinebutt runs over to his shop, unlocks the doors, and runs inside to see his security system go against him. The Turrets on the ceiling shoot Swinebutt with a stun blast and he falls on the floor. "GAH! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

"Hello, doctor!" Boorlie said, standing on top of him.

"BOORLIE! What are you doing in my shop?" Swinebutt asked.

"You mean: MY SHOP?!" Boorlie asked.

"Yeah, that's what I just said. What are you doing in my shop?" Swinebutt asked as he straightened his glasses.

"Oh no, Swinebutt! This isn't Porker's BBQ anymore! Now this is Boorlie's BBQ!" Boorlie said mischievously.

"What are you talking about?" Swinebutt asked.

"I'm talking about your security system, the deed, it's all mine now! This place is under new management! Which means, it is time for you to go, Swinebutt!" Boorlie said to him.

"You can't make me leave my own shop!" Swinebutt yelled at him and snorted, but just then, Boorlie presses a button on his remote which ejects Swinebutt out of the shop. He flies high in the sky, and theb falls into the hot tub behind Thunder's house. "GRRRRR! THAT'S IT, BOORLIE! YOU AND FLARE ARE BOTH ON MY TO-DO LIST! YOU HEAR ME?! I'M COMING FOR YOU BOTH!" Swinebutt yelled out and snorted weirdly, so he takes out his Puffs tissues and wipes his nose a bit. “Ah, nice and soft. YOU JUST WAIT!"

"Hey, what are you doing in my hot tub? Don't tell me I got caught twice!" Thunder complained as he facehooved himself after he saw Swinebutt in his hot tub.

"Well... at least you're still single." Swinebutt said.

"Actually... Crystal and I got back together. We promised to be honest with eachother completely from now on. Wait, how did you know about what I experienced?" Thunder asked confusingly. As Thunder looked away, Swinebutt was already gone. Yeah he climbed his fence and landed in a trash can with a black cat inside. Well… it looks like I win this battle against Swinebutt, and I wasn’t even doing anything that was related to his plan, besides getting Thunder and Crystal together, but I had no clue he was a part of this. Later on, Crystal and Thunder were writing a letter to Princess Luna together upstairs.

"Dear Princess Luna,
Today we experienced alot. We learned that if you find a special somepony, but you have problems with them, and trying to find somepony else to replace them; it works at times, but relationships always have troubles at certain times. Give your loved one a chance before doing anything you both might regret. If you’ve been with the long enough, they should know who you are and why you’re together in the first place. Also, our friend Flare learned not to try to be a jerk, and try to frame those he's trying to keep secrets from if they don't do what he says. Be a loyal friend and special somepony. Don’t try to blackmail them.
Your loyal subjects,
Crystal Iceblast and Black Thunder."

Crystal gave Thunder a big kiss on the cheek. "You know, this gives me an idea!" Thunder said to himself. Back at my trailer, I was chatting with Spike in my bathroom. I was brushing my teeth.

"Wow! What a day, Flare!" Spike said to me.

"Oh yeah? What was your day about?" I asked him with the toothbrush in my mouth.

"I had to help Pinkie out. It seems the town police have given Pinkie a ticket for reckless imaginary golfing." Spike said.

"Oh yeah, she needs more practice, brah." I agreed. "Hey, when I went to work today, there was something weird about Dr. Swinebutt's BBQ shop across the street. It was called Boorlie's BBQ now."

"Looks like your old friend Boorlie wanted revenge on him after his betrayal." Spike said.

"I know. He said he's still going to try to get me out of business though because he wants to be the top Ponyville restaurant, instead of me." I explained. “Besides, he prefers to make pastas and pizzas over BBQ. This is just a temporary location for him to gain profits. This isn’t his dream job.”

"Yeah, looks like a new unfriendly competition between you and Boorlie, huh?" Spike asked as I spit in the sink, and then I gargled with Mountain Doo, and spit it in the sink.

"Ok, does it really make sense to brush your teeth, and then gargle with Mountain Doo?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, about that." I started. "I have this fear of-" Just then I heard a crash coming from the other end of my trailer. "What was that?"

"I dunno." Spike said. We both looked at each other, and then Spike took my baseball bat that happened to be in my bathroom, and I took my fresh scent, and held it like a weapon. We walked into my lounge to see Thunder watching movies on my TV.

"Thunder?" I asked.

"Oh hey, Flare!" Thunder said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well... since you have my TV now, I decided to use it here." Thunder said.

"Yeah, but you didn't have my permission to use it." I said.

"Unless you want me to tell Pinkie that you were abusing my friendship; she's not gonna like that one bit. I know that for a fact." Thunder said mischievously.

"It's true. Pinkie hates abusive friendships." Spike said.

"So a little revenge, huh Thundy?" I asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." Thunder nodded.

"You can have your TV back when you're done." I said.

"Ah ah ah, Flare! No speakie to the Thundy, unless the Thundy speakie too you!" Thunder said, smirking at me. I just rolled my eyes and closed the lounge door. "And shut off the music!" Thunder yelled at me as I was playing background music on my Ipod.

Welcome to Mareami

View Online

It was colder today than any other day; the snow wasn’t falling that much, but it was as cold as the Crystal Mountains today! Fluttershy and Rarity decided to walk over to my shop for breakfast. It’s not often that ponies come over to my shop for breakfast. Then again….. breakfast pizzas! They eventually arrived in front of my shop to find Lyra, Bonnie, and Crèmepop sitting outside. Lyra and Bon Bon were playing Uno as Crème rolled on the ground, holding onto her legs, all freaked out.

“HA! DRAW TWO!” Lyra yelled at Bonnie. “IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE!”

Bon Bon just smirked at her. “DRAW FOUR WILD, YELLOW!”

“What?! I have no yellows!” Lyra complained.

“And that’s why I used the color.” Bon Bon chuckled.

“Good morning, dears! What are you doing out here in this cold?” Rarity asked them.

“Playing Uno!” Lyra said.

“Besides the obvious.” Rarity added.

“We’re waiting for Flare, this is the 8th time this week he’s opened late.” Bon Bon said.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that.” Fluttershy said.

“But wait, how can it be 8 times this week he hasn’t opened, when he only opens 7 times a week?” Rarity asked confusingly. Lyra and Bon Bon just looked at eachother confusingly. “What seems to be Crèmepop’s problem?”

“She always does that when Flare comes late. She always thinks Flare’s not gonna show up.” Lyra said.

“He will! Yeah…. Yeah he will! What makes you think he won’t?” Crème asked in denial, with a psycho look on her face, and her eye twitches. Rarity and Fluttershy looked at eachother weirdly. “SHUT UP!” Crème yelled.

“Goodness! I wonder why Flare has been opening his shop so late. This isn’t like him.” Fluttershy said worriedly.

“Nonsense, Fluttershy! He’ll be here eventually!” Rarity said. Two hours later…… “Or, maybe not.”

Crème squeed with a very big smile on her face. “THERE HE IS!” she yelled in excitement. I ran over to the door, panting, and catching my breath.

“Sorry I’m late, sistas. I overslept….. again.” I said as I attempted to unlock my shop.

“Again?” Fluttershy asked.

“He’s been doing that a lot lately.” Bonnie said.

I yawned. “It’s no big deal. Nopony comes for breakfast anyway.”

“Actually, darling, we’re here for breakfast.” Rarity corrected me.

“But it’s okay that you’re late. I oversleep sometimes too.” Flutters said.

“No, it’s not ok.” I said. “I shouldn’t be oversleeping so much.” I then walked inside and turn off my alarm. “I’ve been working so hard lately! It’s not easy running TWO pizza shops! I shouldn’ve bit off more than I can eat.” I took a big bite from my bagel in my hoof and then I started choking. Crème freaked out and then she ran behind me and squeezed my stomach until I spit my bagel out.

“Eww!” Rarity said, as the other ponies were also grossed out by the bagel in the middle of the floor.

“I apologize deeply! I didn’t even have breakfast this morning; I was really in a hurry to come here! I didn’t even have time to shower, shave, or even feed my fish!”

A cutaway shows my fish back at home were waiting for their meal. Dorthey looked at her watch impatiently, and Yoyo started nibbling on the rocks on the bottom with a psycho look on his face. “We need to learn to start feeding ourselves.” Rainbow said. The cutaway ends.

Back at my shop, I walked into the kitchen to get everything ready. “So, yeah, this isn’t really my week. I mean I have so many bills to pay, I have to get my apples from Applelossa now since it’s snowing at Sweet Apple Acers, I’m helping my sister get used to things in the Canterlot shop until I can find proper management there, THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SO DARN STRESSFUL FOR ME, I DON’T EVEN FALL ASLEEP UNTIL 4 IN THE MORNING!” I yelled.

“Oh, dear, well….. if you need any help….” Fluttershy started.

“WHO ASKED YOU?!” I yelled out Flutters. “WHO ASKED YOU, HUH?!”

Fluttershy started squeaking. “Eep! I’m sorry, Flare.”

I took a deep breath and calmed down. “I’m sorry, Flutters. I’m just so stressed out right now! Being a restaurant owner isn’t as easy as it seems, you know? I might’ve had lots of bullies back in Mareami picking on me, but at least I didn’t overwork. It seems I can’t get rid of my stress! Sigh, I also miss my family. I haven’t seen them in ages; except for that one time my mom came down for Mother’s Day and my sister lives in my guest bedroom, but….. I’m sorry, sistas, I need some time.” So I walked into my office and closed the door.

“Gosh, I didn’t know Flare has been going through a lot.” Flutters said.

“He’s been like this all week. We keep telling him he should rest it out, but he says it’ll just be more work later. He keeps saying he also needs the money.” Bonnie explained.

“I thought he was loaded?” Rarity asked.

“He blew half of it by making his expansion, not to mention his business trips.” Bonnie said.

“Flare needs to rest it out. I can take over the shop until he comes back.” Crème said.

“Flare needs a vacation/ We must take him on vacation!” Rarity swore.

“We tried telling Flare that, but he said he doesn’t have the money and time right now. It just goes to show…..” Lyra started, but she stopped there. Everypony was silent for a sec.

“What goes to show what?” Bonnie asked.

“Nothing, that’s it.” Lyra said.

Meanwhile, I was in my office checking my mail with a tired look on my face.
I went through my mail, just throwing them aside. “Bill, bill, bill, bill, fashion magazine, bill, fashion magazine, advertisement, coupons, bill, fashion magazine- What was with these fashion magazines? Is this Rarity’s mail? Bill, bill, nomination for the awards, bill, fashion magazine, coupons, fashion magazine- I’M SO TIRED OF THESE FASHION MAGAZINES! I’M GOOD OF WHAT I’M WEARING! FOR WIZARD OF HOPE’S SAKE!” I yelled as I grabbed my hair and started throwing my stuff around. Just then, an anger difficulties sign pops up in the scene, showing a picture of me grunting in anger and with two hulk fists in the air, and the music in the background was pretty relaxing; same music as the puppy moments from chapter 17.

The scene comes back with me sitting in my office in silence for a few moments, but then I started screaming again, “GAAAAAAAAA-!” the scene suddenly changes back to that anger difficulties sign again with the same music, but the picture of me was different – I was screaming instead of grunting, and the background was flashing yellow, and I had THREE hulk fists in the air.

Fluttershy and Rarity knocked on my office door and opened it slightly.
“Flare? Dear, are you okay?” Rarity asked. I started barking like a dog at them. They got startled a bit and closed the door. I crawled around in a circle and then I laid on the rug in front of my desk and started chewing on my Jeff Gorspeed bobble head, which was already ruined before. Rarity and Flutters opened the door slightly again.

“Flare, I know this isn’t a good time, but….” Rarity said but she got startled again by my barking.

“Maybe, I should try.” Flutters suggested. “Flare, I know this isn’t a good time, but…. Please may we talk to you?” Flutters asked nicely.

“What is it Flutters?” I asked.

“How come it worked when you did it?” Rarity asked.

“Flare’s acting like an animal, and…. You know I’m good with animals.” Flutters said. They opened the door and they both walked inside.

“Flare, deary…..” Rarity said, but I started growling at her when she went close to me, and then she backed off. I then continued chewing on my bobble head. Every time she goes close, I growl, and when she backs off and I chew on the bobble head. She keeps coming forward and backwards in an order like…. Well…. Think of on Family Guy when Brian was chewing on that cross and Meg was trying to grab it, and Brian growled at her so she can back away. Yeah, this was exactly like that. Flutters glided over to me and rubbed my back.

“There, there, Flare. It’s okay. We all get angry sometimes.” Flutters said.

“Aw c’mon! Why isn’t he growling at you?” Rarity asked.

“Shhh!” Flutters shushed Rarity. “Look, I know you’re working hard, but you need a vacation, Flare. You’re working too hard and you need your rest.”

“But what can I do, Mama Flutters?” I asked. “I can’t leave the shop! I can’t afford a vacation right now!”

“How much money do you have in your bank right now?” Flutters asked.

“Approximately 48,000 bits.” I said.

“That’s more than enough!” Flutters said.

“But if I’m this low, I need to use it in case something happens. I have my bills, my insurance payments, food, THIS IS JUST CRAZY!” I said.

“Like you?” Lyra asked by the door.

“SHUT UP, LYRA! Nopony asked for your onion!” I yelled.

“Onion?” Rarity asked.

“Shut up, I’m not explaining it again.” I said angrily. “Look, I appreciate all you’re doing, but no. I can’t go on vacation.”

“Well…. I can at least help sort your mail.” Flutters offered as she started looking through my mail.

“It’s nothing really; just a lot of bills, some fashion magazines, some coupons, and a nomination for awards.” I said.

“WAIT!” Rarity yelled. “I’ll take these fashion magazines off your hooves!” she gathers my fashion magazines.

“Wait, what about this nomination awards letter, Flare?” Flutters asked.

“Huh? Wait, a minute, a nomination awards letter? Let me see that.” I quickly grabbed the letter and looked at it. “It’s for me! What did I get nominated for? I never get nominated for anything.”

“You never got nominated for anything, Flare?” Flutters asked.

“Uhh, did I just say that?” I asked rudely.

“Oh, sorry, Flare.” Flutters said.

“No, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. Well, this was this one time I was nominated for the biggest weirdo in high school.” I said.

“Did you win?” Rarity asked.

“RUDE!” I said angrily.

“Well, at least you’d win something, darling!” Rarity attempted to comfort me.

“No. I lost at the one thing everypony thought I was good in. I was the only nominated one, and I still lost! I mean, how is that possible?” I asked.

“Ponies are harsh sometimes, Flare. You just need to accept that.” Flutters said, putting her arm around me.

“Pew, pew, pew!” I said, firing my little laser pointer pen at her.

“Well, what are you waiting for, dear? Read the nomination letter!” Rarity instructed me.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” I yelled angrily at her, but then I started reading it anyway. “Dear Crimson Flare Gun, you are hereby nominated for the award having the best pizza restaurant in all of Equestria. Oh, I thought it was an award for having the most epic collection of hoof-nails. We’re having the award ceremony on Saturday December 7th at the Hoof Point stadium in…’" I gasped. "MAREAMI?!” I yelled.

"Your hometown?" Rarity asked.

"Nooooooo, my junky playground, what do you think Rarity?" I said to her sarcastically.

"But, dear, I thought you loved Mareami?" Rarity asked.

"I do, but do you remember the reason why I moved to Ponyville? Laugh out loud remember, Rarity?" I asked.

"I somewhat do." Rarity said.

"But you're nominated for awards, Flare. Isn't that great?" Fluttershy asked excitedly.

"Well yeah, but.... it's Mareami!" I said. "I don't think I want to experience the risks of humiliation again!"

"Maybe we should go tell the others and maybe we can give some advice!" Fluttershy suggested.

"That's a great idea, Flutters! Tell the girls, I'll tell the Nobles to come meet us at Twilight's House, at 6 PM tonight. Kay?" I asked.

"Sounds good, Flare! See ya at 6!" Fluttershy said.

6:01 PM, at Twilight's House, everypony was talking to eachother, waiting for me to show up. I slowly walked inside, looking tired, and I stood up in front of everypony. "Sorry I'm tardy, brahs and sistas. Last minute customers." I said.

"Yeah whatever we're doin’ here, it better be good. Ah wasn't done building a new device." Engie complained.

"Now, I have an important announcement to make." I said.

"We know! Why else do you think we're here?" Crystal asked sarcastically.

"The Food Awards is going to take place on Saturday, and..... I've been nominated for the best pizza restaurant in all of Equestria." I said.

"That's great, Flare!" Blaze said.

"Yeah, mate, but why feel so down in the dumps about it?" Aqua asked.

"Well, the thing is..... its… taking place back in my hometown of Mareami." I said.

"How many times do you have to say HOMETOWN before Mareami. We all know already that it's your hometown, you don't need to brag about it!" Crystal complained.

"So yeah, I'm going over there tomorrow morning with my sister Water." I said.

"That's another thing, you keep saying 'your sister Water'; we all know that's your sister." Crystal added.

"Crystal, shut it." Psyche demanded to her.

"Hey you can't tell her what to do, Psyche!" I yelled out at him.

"Yeah, Psyche!" Crystal mimicked.

"Shut it, Crystal." I demanded.

"So why did you gather us here then?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I need some advice into avoiding those who made me suffer while I was living there. Twilight, you might have a solution." I said.

"Just ignore them or try to make peace!" Twilight suggested.

"Well, they won't listen to me!" I said.

"You'll never know unless you try!" Twilight said.

"I did try." I said.

"OOO, OOO! I KNOW, I KNOW!" Pinkie yelled. "How about you shoot yourself out of cannon into a plastic cup, wearing this mustache?"

"We're seriously goin’ through that again, Pinkie?" AppleJack asked.

"Well, duh! Aren't mustaches the coolest?" Pinkie asked. “Besides, I’m his special somepony! He’ll listen to me! Right, coltfriend?”

"She's got a point there, you know." I nodded.

"Look the answer is quite simple, we should go with ya!" AppleJack suggested.

"Well… I can’t really afford plane tickets for all of you. I only got two plane tickets, and I already said to Water that she can go." I said, showing everypony the tickets.

"Why choose Water out of me, Flare? We have something special!" Pinkie said sadly, staring at me real closely.

"I understand that, Pinks, but Water is my sister. She hasn't seen our family longer than I have." I said.

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE, FLARE! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE LET ME GO!" Pinkie begged. "I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING YOU WANT!"

"Sigh.... I'm sorry, Pinks, but no." I shook my head.

"Okee dokee lokey!" Pinkie said happily.

"Any other advice?" I asked.

"Give me a phone call, maybe I can help you then." Twilight suggested.

"I dunno, Twilight. Long distance." I said.

"Well, then..... just have fun! Have a safe flight! Win those awards! We'll see you on TV!" Twilight said.

"Sounds good to me! I'll see you all on Monday." I said as I tiredly walked out.

"You know, Flare needs to learn to wipe his hooves before coming inside the house." Spike complained.

"Spike, take a letter for the princess!" Twilight instructed him, and then Spike takes out a piece of paper and a quill.

"Twilight, what are ya'll doin?" AppleJack asked.

"Dear Princess Celestia...." Twilight began. "We'll need 12 tickets for a flight to Mareami."

"Wait, what are you doing, Twilight?" Rarity asked.

"You see, our friend Flare thinks he's going to suffer from bullies again while going to Mareami for an important trip, and it's our job as his friends to help him out in this situation." Twilight continued. "We'll help Flare make his peace and he'll never be afraid of going to Mareami again. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle." Spike rolled up the letter and blew it to the princess.

"What are ya doin, Twilight? What makes ya think the princess will give ya the tickets?" Aqua asked.

"I wrote down that our 'FRIEND' Flare needs help, and she'll know that it's a friendship lesson, and she'll give us the tickets!" Twilight explained.

"Sounds like a good plan! I just hope when we get to the hotel, I don't get the room next to the noisy ice machine." Psyche said. Spike suddenly burped up a letter with the tickets inside.

"See? I knew she would do it!" Twilight said.

"But Twilight, there's 16 tickets in here, not 12." Spike said.

"Hmm, I guess the princess either made a mistake, or wants other ponies to go." Blaze said.

"Who do you think should go?" Rainbow asked.

"Apple Bloom always wanted to try out the theme parks they have in Mareami. Maybe we can take her." AppleJack suggested.

"Sweetie Belle keeps bragging about their mall they have over there!" Rarity said in an annoyed tone. "Then again.... I KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT THE MALL THEY HAVE OVER THERE!" she said excitingly.

"Since they're going, we might as well take Scootaloo and Candy Cotton with us." Blaze suggested.

"Aww, I wanted to take Thundy with me!" Crystal complained.

"Sorry, Crystal. So let's pack our things! We'll be leaving tomorrow morning, everypony!" Twilight said.

"I'm telling ya, if I get that room next to the noisy ice machine, I'm going to kick a house keeping cart!" Psyche swore.

The next day came, and I was just packing up for my trip to Mareami with Water.
"C'mon, Water! If we get a head start to the airport, I believe we won't have that large of a line at the security checkpoint!" I yelled from across the trailer.

"Just a minute! I'm trying to put on some make-up!" Water yelled back.

"Sis, you can put on make-up on the plane! I mean, you don't really need the makeup until we get to the ceremony!" I reminded her as I walked into the room Water's in.

"Hey! You're not a mare, you wouldn't understand, bro!" Water pointed out, and to me it looks like she overdid the make up on her face.

"Hey, Water? How about a little bit of face with your make-up?" I teased.

"Very funny, Flare." Water said sarcastically throwing one of her lipsticks at me. "Will you pick that up?"

So I picked up the lipstick she threw at me and gave it back to her. "I dunno why you're so happy going back there?"

"Flare, Mareami is our home! We can't abandon it!" Water said.

"But.... Herb… and Swinebutt!" I reminded her.

"Swinebutt already followed you here. Herb.... maybe he changed." Water assumed as she placed her hoof on my shoulder.

"I dunno, sis. Herb seemed to despise me." I said.

"Just relax! You're not going to a high school reunion or nothing." Water said rolling her eyes.

"Well, at least we're going there for only the weekend." I said with a positive attitude.

"Exactly! That's the spirit, and we'll be seeing family too!" Water said.

"Yeah, that's true. Oh we rhymed!" I pointed out.

"Don't forget to install the fish feeder, bro." Water reminded me.

"I never forget about the fishies, sis." I said smiling at her.

I walked over to the fish tank to check up on them. “Oh no, it’s Flare! Quick act like a fish! ACT LIKE A FISH!” Darrel freaked out.

“OW! Right in my ear, Darrel!” Yoyo complained, holding his ear.

“Well, I’m going back home to Mareami! I wish I could take you with me.” I said.

“And why can’t you?” Dorthey asked.

“I can’t take you with me, because…. Well….. can fish survive being in airplanes?” I asked.

“Did he just understood what I said?” Dorthey asked.

“I’m assuming he just assumed.” Pearl assumed.

“I’ll install the fish feeder. I’ll be back Monday night, and of course Rainbow is in charge.” I said.

“YES!” Rainbow said excitedly to himself.

“Why would you be surprised? You’re always in charge.” Dorthey said.

“And that’s why I’m superior, always will!” Rainbow said mischievously.

“Don’t let us end up of what Chuck did when Spot was around.” Dorthey warned him.

“None of us were around then.” Piddles reminded her.

“Water are you ready yet?!” I yelled out.

“In a minute! I’m looking for my eyeliner!” Water yelled back.

“Water, our flight leaves in 3 hours! That security checkpoint line is gonna fill up like mad!” I reminded her.

“I found it! Did you install the fish feeder yet?” Water asked.

“Just finished!” I said to her, and then I said to the fishies; “Well, have fun! I’ll miss you all so much. Just…. Don’t get to upset.”

“Don’t worry, we won’t.” Yoyo said, chuckling and elbowing Dorthey.

“Quit doing that!” Dorthey said to Yoyo, moving away from his elbow. Darrel starts weeping and swimming in front of the tank.

“PLEEEEEEASE DON’T GO! TAKE US WITH YOU!” Darrel cried out. I waved to them and I walked out of my bedroom with my luggage.

“It’s too late, Darrel. He’s gone.” Piddles said, patting his shoulder.

“Ehh, whatever! We’re gonna make our own vacation! With Blackjack, and chicks! In fact, forget the vacation!” Darrel said. I went outside with my sister, who was carrying out four big suitcases.

“Water, what’s in those suitcases?” I asked.

“I need to know which dress to take to the awards.” Water said.

“You’re only going to use one dress!” I reminded her.

“But I don’t know which one to use! What if one was stained?” Water asked.

“I can never understand you mares sometimes!” I complained.

“Quit your complaining, Flare! If you were a mare, you’d understand.” Water said.

“Hey, I’m already nervous about those bullies back in Mareami.” I said.

“Flare, don’t worry about them. We’re gonna see mommy and daddy again, right?” Water asked.

“Look at you Water! You’re 28 years old, and you still call our parents that!” I said.

“I’m still their baby!” Water said.

“You are a baby.” I teased.

“Oh, shut up, bro!” Water complained, whacking my head with her purse playfully.

“FLAREY!” Pinkie cried out, tackle hugging me. I lost balance and fell over.

“Oh, Pinkie! I swear was going to kiss you good-bye right before I leave.” I lied.

“Oh that’s ok, Flarey! No need!” Pinkie said, carrying a couple of suitcases and her party cannon.

“Why you all packed up for?” I asked.

“We’re going with you, bro! We’re coming with you on your trip to Mareami!” Blaze said, helping me up.

“It’s gonna be totally rad! I can tell!” Rainbow Dash said.

“All of you? All of you are coming?” I asked.

“Well…. If you don’t want us to. We can stay.” Flutters said.

“No, no. It’s cool! But…. How did you get tickets?” I asked.

“I gave a letter to the princess saying this is a friendship trip, so she gave us all tickets so we can come with you, and settle your problem!” Twilight said.

“Which princess? It’s not Cadance right? I’m still mad at her.” I asked/

“Oh get a rest with you being mad at Cadance already, Flare!” Psyche advised me.

“C’mon, partner! Ya ready to go home?” Engie asked.

“Perhaps, but are you sure you all want to go?” I asked.

“C’mon, Flare! Is there anything we couldn’t handle before?” Rainbow asked with her hoof around me.

“Yes, lots. I can name 20.” I said.

“Oh yeah? Let’s hear it!” Rainbow dared me.

“We don’t have time for this. We have a flight to catch.” Aqua reminded us.

“Aqua’s right. You know how long the lines are at those airports? Trust me, Psyche and I experienced it.” I said.

“Tis true.” Psyche said, shrugging.

“THEN LET’S PARTY!” Pinkie cried out. “Or we can just go to the airport. It’ll help save time and we can do the party later. Maybe party on the plane!” So we all marched on to the Airport, and were passing through the security checkpoint. Crystal was playing around with the security guards, making fake beeping sounds, but then the security guards came and pushed her on the ground.

“AAAAH! HELP! I WAS JOKING, CALM DOWN! YOU MAD, BROS?!” Crystal yelled out.

“Aww, just like Crystal stealing my lines.” I complained.

“You have way too many lines, Flare. How about sharin’ them?” AppleJack asked.

“Trust me, AppleJack. I wanted the jelly-baby one, but Psyche already took that.” I explained.

“Tis true again.” Psyche said as he was chewing on some jelly-babies.

Shortly after, we went over to the terminal and waited for our flight. “Hang on a second, when does our flight leave?” Aqua asked.

“2 in a half hours.” I said.

“Sooo, why were we in a such a hurry to go?” Scootaloo asked.

“Security checkpoint lines.” Water said.

“You lazy impatient idiot! We’re going to be waiting for our flight anyway! You too lazy to wait in a stupid line?” Candy Cotton asked.

“At least we’ll be sittin’ down.” Apple Bloom said.

“You punks are lazy, you know that?” Candy insulted them.

“Yeah you go girl!” Scoots said to her, leaving a hoof up for a bump.

“Put your hoof down filly, I ain’t touching that.” Candy said to Scoots.

“Wow, what a meanie.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Look, let’s just sit down, relax, and we’ll wait for our flight to be ready, and we’ll fly on over to Mareami, alright?” Blaze asked.

“Who made you in charge?” Crystal asked him.

“I’m not in charge, I’m just saying-” Blaze said but gets cut off.

“You’re just saying garbage. That’s what you’re saying Blaze.” Crystal complained. Blaze just sighed.

“So, Flare, tell us a bit about Mareami. Tell us what it’s like.” AppleJack requested.

“It’s full of mean ponies.” I said.

“Besides that.” AppleJack added.

“She’s talking about the environment and such.” Psyche said.

“Well…. Mareami is very pretty! I lived over at Hoofington Beach with Water, my parents, and my fish.” I explained. “Ocean Drive is a very pretty place full of neon lights, and shops, and restaurants that face the beach; I know of a place full of cool t-shirts and souvenirs, even some post cards with palm trees in them that say ‘Greetings from Mareami’, and ‘Life’s a Beach’ and all that.”

“Wait… life’s a what?” Crystal asked, feeling a little insulted.

“Oh I need to get my hooves on one of those snowglobes.” Sweetie Belle said nodding.

“That reminds me, Scoots you’ll love the lighthouse! It shows a great view of the city, and you can see all the cruise ships come into port!” I said.

“Sounds awesome! Is that the highest point in the whole city?” Scoots asked.

“No, the highest point in the whole city is the Bank of Equestria building in Downtown. Has over 40 floors!” I said.

“WHOA! 40 floors?!” Scoots asked.

“Sounds awesome!” Candy shouted.

“Hey, Flare? What sort of super fun places do they have over there?” Pinkie asked.

“If you wanna go partying, I suggest going to the West Palm Night Club over at Hoof Point. I used to sneak into my school parties at that place!” I said.

“Woo wee! I bet Vinyl would love goin’ there!” AppleJack said.

“Also, Pinkie, if you want fun as in theme park rides, there are three theme parks! Candy Kingdom, where it’s a candy themed park; Magic World, where your dreams come true; and Galactic Studios which also has actual movie sets and such.” I explained/

“WHOA! Ah’ve always wanted to go to a real live theme park!” Apple Bloom said excitedly.

“Rarity, can we go to the theme parks? Please, please, please?” Sweetie begged to her sister.

“Perhaps, deary. Maybe if Flare wants to take you.” Rarity said.

“So I heard Mareami as a space center, is that true?” Psyche asked.

“Sure is, sista! The Lunar Space Center in Cape Canvill!” I said to him.

“Sista? I’m a stallion!” Psyche corrected me.

“You look like a mare though, you know that Psyche?” I asked.

Pinkie giggled. “He’s right, Psyche! You do look like a mare!” she said, putting her arm around his neck. After some time went by, our flight came in, and we were called to the booth where we showed them our tickets, but then Crystal made some beeping sounds like at the security checkpoint, and then the airport guards pushed her down again and searched her.

“Awww come on!” Crystal complained. We eventually went inside the plane; we all sat down in our seats and got ready for our flight.

“Wow! Ah never been on a real airplane before! This is pretty swell!” Apple Bloom said.

“And I’m going to be actually flying! WOO HOO!” Scoots cheered.

“Shhhh!” one of the passengers shushed her.

“YOU SHHHH!” Scoots shushed the passenger back.

“I don’t know why we’re taking a plane. I can fly there in 10 seconds flat, no problem!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Is that a bet?” Blaze asked.

“What? You want me to do it, Blaze?” Rainbow asked.

“Do what you want! It’s one extra plane ticket!” Blaze said. Rainbow was silent for a second, and then she walked over to one of the flight attendance and tapped on her shoulder.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Rainbow asked her. “What movie are you going to be playing for the trip?”

“Any movie you want! Each seat has its own little television.” The mare said.

“What? When was there a television at every seat?” Rainbow asked.

“You must’ve not seen it.” Blaze assumed. “Besides, you’re in first class!”

“We’re in first class?” Rainbow asked.

“Yeah, Princess Celestia gave us first-class tickets!” Twilight said.

“And the food’s free!” Engie added.

“WHOA! THIS IS SO AWESOME- I mean…. Sure, I guess I’ll stay for the flight. Not that I need help flying.” Rainbow said sounding calm, but hiding her excitement.

“I could really use some salted peanuts right now.” AppleJack said.

“Oh wait, I almost forgot! Everypony might need these.” Psyche said, passing out some gum.

“Gum? What do we need gum for?” Spike asked.

“The altitude of the plane causes your ears to react strangely.” Twilight said.

“Like how?” Spike asked.

“They pop.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be fine. Dragon ears aren’t like pony ears.” Spike said, putting his arms behind his head and relaxing.

A few minutes went by, and the flight attendances were giving us a few drills and safety features, Engie just facehoofed himself and mumbled; “Ah know these rules already. Besides, what are the odds of having a plane crash? And what are the odds bein’ over water? We’re flyin’ across land the whole way!”

“Hey, Flarey! Check this out!” Pinkie said with an oxygen mask on her head. “Party hats!”

“Those aren’t party hats, babe. Those are oxygen masks. You put them over your mouth so you can breathe better.” I informed her.

“Actually, those are party hats.” A flight attendant said. “The oxygen masks have straps on the side, and these things don- Oh wait, these are the oxygen masks.” Just then, the seat belt light comes on, and we all buckled up our seat belts as the plane starts riding along the airstrip. Scoots was feeling really excited, but Aqua was breathing on one of the oxygen masks because he was really nervous.

“What’s wrong, Aqua?” AppleJack asked.

“I… never flown on a plane before.” Aqua said very nervously.

“A’right, a’right, shhhhh.” AppleJack advised him, holding him and trying to calm him down. “Everythin’ will be fine. Alright? Everythin’ will be fine.”

“I hope so. If we crash…… I dunno what I’ll do.” Aqua said.

“WE’RE GONNA CRASH?!” Crystal screamed, and then the whole plane started freaking out.

One of the flight attendances blown their whistle and said; “Calm down, everypony! Calm down!” everypony got quiet. “There will be no plane crashes. So relax! Enjoy the flight! Snacks are available now if you’re hungry.”

“Some Salt and Vinegar Lay’s for Psyche!” I said.

“Shut up, Flare.” Psyche instructed him.

“You shut up!” I said to him.

“Ah wonder if ah can build speed boosters on the engines to make them go faster?” Engie asked.

“Why you ask?” Flutters asked.

“Ah’m alreadeh getting bored, Fluttershy.” Engie said.

“But…. We didn’t even leave yet.” Flutters said.

“Exactly! But it feels like we’ve been flyin’ for hours!” Engie said impatiently.

“Oh lookie here! Here comes the ramp!” Sweetie pointed out. Aqua kept breathing faster in the mask and AppleJack was stil trying to calm him down.

“Here we go! 10…. 9….. 8….. 7…..” Rainbow started counting down, but before she could finish, we already started flying. “Awww. Started too late, but still, WOOOOOO HOOOOO!”

“This is soooo awesome!” Scoots cried out.

“OW MY EARS!” Spike cried. Then he took out the gum that Psyche given him, and put it in his mouth. “IT’S NOT WORKING, TWILIGHT!”

“Chew and swallow, chew and swallow.” Twilight instructed him. Spike did so.

“OW MY EARS!” Spike cried again. Just then, we heard a baby crying in the background.

“Every….. single….. plane.” I complained, facehooving myself. “Always a crying baby!” Just then, the crying baby threw a raddle at my head. “Ow!” I shouted, and the baby started laughing. Time went by, and we finally made it to our target altitude. The first hour went by, Engie was trying to hack his cell phone app, Spike was playing on my DS, Twilight was reading (of course), Pinkie was dancing in her seat to her tunes on her MP3 player, the CMCs used their pillows to make a fort on their seats, and the rest of us were either sleeping or using the TV. I was looking out the window, thinking about what’s going to happen once we reach Mareami. Is everypony going to avoid me? Is everypony going to throw eggs at me? What about my friends? Just because they’re my friends, will they end up with the same fate as me? Or worse…. Will they betray me for THEM?! Nah, not that last part. But still, I’m really nervous. I couldn’t stop thinking about why I left that city in the first place. I really need to think about the fun we’re going to have, and how happy I’ll be seeing my family again. But my heart was beating fast, and my sister tried to help me feel better, which sort of helped. I needed to get these images out of my head, so I decided to watch a movie, and eat a spinach leaf sandwich with some Chex Mix until we finally arrived. The plane started descending towards Mareami International Airport, as Spike kept screaming because his ears were starting to hurt again. We just got out of the plane and into the terminal. Nopony was throwing eggs at me or nothing. Everypony thought I was just a random traveler. Did I change that much? I was only living in Ponyville for almost a year.

“Wow! This is Mareami International Airport! Looks very nice!” Twilight said.

“Way better than the Airport in Trottingham.” Psyche said nodding.

“Well thank goodness THAT’S over. So what do we do first? We get a cab or something?” Aqua asked.

“Forget a cab! Princess Celestia ordered us a limo to take us to the hotel of our choice!” Twilight said.

“I recommend Embacy Suites! It’s the nicest hotel in the whole city! None of this Holiday Inn nonsense!” I said. “They also have free breakfast and snacks around 4 PM.”

“I thought we were going home?” Water asked.

“We’ll be going home, sis, no problem!” I said, patting her back.

“Well let’s go get our luggage, and wait outside for our ride!” Engie suggested.

“Got it!” Blaze said as we went down the escalator to the bottom floor, and went to the conveyor belt to wait for our luggage. We had to wait 20 whole minutes for all of Rarity’s and Water’s junk, and then we went outside to wait for our limo. Our limo guy was already waiting outside, holding up a big poster that says; ‘Twilight Sparkle’.

“You had to use your own name, huh Twilight?” Crystal complained.

“The princess ordered this limo for us, and she probably thought it was better to use my name.” Twilight said.

“Excuse me? Are you Twilight Sparkle?” the limo driver with the Latin accent asked.

“I sure am! I also have my friends here!” Twilight said.

“Good! Where do you all want to go?” the driver asked.

“Embacy suites!” Rarity answered. “I heard it’s quite lovely there!”

“Ok, which one?” the driver asked.

“Excuse me?” Rarity asked confusingly.

“Which one. There’s two of them.” The driver said.

“The one on East beach, please!” I said.

“Ok, let me take your luggage in the trunk, and we’ll head over there!” the driver said, as we all went into the limo.

“Wow! Ah’ve never been in a real limo before!” Apple Bloom said excitedly.

“There are so many vehicles you haven’t been in, huh Apple Bloom?” Sweetie asked.

“There aren’t many vehicles back in Ponyville.” Apple Bloom said. Eventually, after the limo driver had a hard time putting all of Rarity’s and Water’s heavy junk in the trunk, the limo driver went attached himself on the limo carriage and started to trot on to the hotel.

“There are ciders in the cabinet if you all want any.” The driver said.

“AWESOME! I’m starting to love Mareami!” Rainbow Dash said, taking out a bottle of apple cider from the cabinet. “I don’t know why you left this city, Flare. So far, it’s amazing!”

“You don’t know the half of it!” I said smiling. “Hey, James? How about opening the sun roof?”

“Yes, sir! Oh, and the name is not James, its Pedro.” The driver corrected me.

“Whatever you say, James.” I said. The driver opened up the roof of the limo, and as we were driving out of the Airport terminal, we started to have a good view of the city, as the Welcome to Mareami song started playing instrumentally in the background.

“Whoa!” Aqua cried out, breathing into the oxygen mask again.

“You brought that thing with you?” Engie asked.

“I thought they’d allow it. Pinkie still has her’s.” Aqua said, pointing to Pinkie who was still wearing her ‘party hat’ on her head.

“Wow! It looks like Manehatten over there, but the buildings are not as tall, and it feels hotter, and there’s less fog.” AppleJack said.

“Because this ain’t Manehatten, AppleJack!” I said. “Welcome…… to Mareami!” Everypony saw the view of Mareami, and most of them were impressed by how it all looked. “Mareami! South beach, feeling da heat!” I said. “Can ya’ll feel that? Can ya’ll feel that? Oh! Jig it out!” I started rapping a parody of Welcome to Miami by Will Smith as we were driving along the streets. “Here I am in the place where I got stressed out-Mareami the ponies I feel left out. But the place is cool I guarantee - We don't have out houses to go pee pee. So we dance all night at the night clubs, we have fresh cider at the town pubs. We got three theme parks which is lots of fun, we got the pretty mares that say….”

One of the pretty mares from the side of the street said in a squeaky voice, “Hi, Flare Gun!”

I continued to sing, “Ya'll feel me. All ponies and phonies, Salvatore Leones, ice cream conies. All advanced technology you'll find right here, we got a big leet mall right over here! The city is connected to the Gatorglades, all the cool ponies can wear fantastic shades. Don't be shy just come on down, to the number one city that's the best around! Party in the city where the heat is on. All night at the beach till the break of dawn!”

“Welcome to Mareami! Binevenido a Mareami!” some mares on the road sang.

“Hey get outta the way, amigas!” the limo driver complained.

I continued to sing again, “Ridin’ in the buggies that bounce around, keep losing your phones in the city canal. I'm going to Mareami!”

“Oooooh I get it!” Pinkie nodded and laughed.

“Welcome to Mareami!” the mares sang.

“Wait, hang on a second, Flare. Did you say….. a mall?” Rarity asked.

“Oh here we go!” AppleJack said feeling annoyed.

“Rarity? What’s a mall?” Sweetie asked.

“A mall is a wonderful place with all these fabulous shops, there’s just so much to see! EEEEEEE!” Rarity squeed.

“Whoa nelly! What’s so good about these fancy malls anyway?” AppleJack asked.

“The food court.” Crystal said.

“Exactly! But the Hoof Point Mall has everything! They have JCPenny, Sears, Macy’s, there’s even a Target near it! Ponyville is missing out on so, so much, you know?” I asked.

“Ah can tell.” AppleJack said.

“I WANNA GO TO THE MALL!” Rarity whined.

“Hang on, let’s check into our hotel first!” Sweetie said.

“Exactly! I wanna work on getting a suntan.” Spike said. “OW! Also, I’d like some medication for my ears.”

“Everywhere in town there’s a CBS Pharmacy or a Walgreens! You can’t get away from these pharmacy’s you know.” I said.

“FLARE! I wanna know more about Mareami!” Pinkie shouted.

“Good call, Pinks!” I said, and continued rapping:

“Yo we get alot of rain to mess the place up, but we ain't got events like Winter Wrap-Up. We get ready for the northern birds, and we got the jerks to get you hurt. Little Hoovana isn't a place, to hang around to take a taste We're most famous for the Lunar Space Center, watch out for the signs that say 'DO NOT ENTER'. Check out the stadium which is awesome of course, we got sports events like racing in Nashorse. All the neon lights all the food and shops, Seastar Island, fancy stops! Party in the city where the heat is on. All night on the beach till the break of dawn.”

A thug in a deep voice then sang, “Welcome to Mareami, something something Mareami.”

“Jumpin’ to the skies just bring it on, no need to get lost just follow along.
I'm going to Mareami!” I sang.

“Welcome to Mareami!” the deep voiced thug sang as he steals an old mare’s purse.

“Also yeah, there are a lot of old ponies around here.” I added.

“Y’all don’t have Winter Wrap-Up?” Apple Bloom asked.

“How come? Winter Wrap-Up’s fun!” Sweetie said.

“Have you noticed there are lots and lots of birds around?” Water asked.

“Oh yes! That’s what I was really paying attention to.” Flutters said. “I recognize a lot of these birds! Some of them are in my choras!” A couple of the bluejays start singing in front of Fluttershy.

“That’s because this is one of the cities that those birds go to while its winter up in Ponyville. We get a lot of rain during the summer though. It’s a good thing we came during the winter time. Summer is REALLY hot here. Maybe even hotter than Applelossa.” Water said.

“Whah stay away from Little Hoovana?” Engie asked.

“Thugs, lots and lots of thugs. Refugees too from the islands nearby. It’s not really a tourist attraction place.” I said. “Don’t worry you’ll know where a tourist attraction spot is, and which isn’t.”

“The mall!” Rarity said.

“Yes, the mall is a good tourist spot.” I said and then I continued rapping; “This isn't Ponyville or Canterlot, this isn't even Manehatten whatcha talkin about?
We got palm trees like Los Pegasus, maybe not as much neon lights as Las Haygus. But it's much much cleaner than Trottingham, you better have brought a video cam. Because once you leave you'll really miss out, on the 10 story parking lot! This place is real leet, be real beat, smell my feet, feel dat Mareami heat!
Get a ride on the jet skis in the open seas, go fishing using rotton swiss cheese! We got three theme parks like Magic World, Galactic Studios, and Candy World. Beware the Seagulls, that can poo on you, we got great videos games like Far Cry 2. We got pet stores, and the Hoof Point Mall, we got lotsa apples, we got dem all! In this place, Twilight, you'll be called a nerd, and our favorite song is (Surrrfin’ Bird). Party in the city where the heat is on, all night on the beach till the break of dawn!”

“Welcome to Mareami, bienvenido....” the mares from before sang but began coughing at that last part.

“Flyin to the trees to feel the breeze, this ain't the place to feel the freeze.
I'm going to Mareami!” I sang.

“Welcome to Mareami!” the mares on the street sang.

“Dancin in the boulevard the night away, Flare Gun is here to make your day!” I sang.

“Welcome to Mareami, a.... oh Celestia I forgot my line.” The mares sang.

“Jumpin’ at sea just look at this, win first prize in the surfing contest! I’m going to Mareami!” I sang.

“Uhh, what was my line again?” the mare asked.

“Party in the city where the heat is on- UGH! Ow, my chest!” I said while holding my chest in pain after I said ‘UGH’. Eventually the limo stopped over at Embacy Suites. We all left the limo and it was Blaze who had to pay the tip, since he was the last one out.

“Wasting my Fighting is Magic money.” Blaze complained and sighed. We took our belongings, and I went over to the front counter with Twilight so we can get our rooms ready as the others were waiting over at the tables in the middle of the lobby.

“Wow, Flare’s right! This place is lovely!” Rarity said.

“Rainbow? Are we going Downtown any time soon?” Candy asked.

“Sure! We’ll go later. We have to check in first.” Rainbow said.

“You know, I preformed over at the stadium before with the Wonderbolts.” Blaze said as Twilight and I walked over to the others with our room keys.

“Alright everypony, we have our rooms ready! We’re staying at the sixth floor.” Twilight said, giving everypony their room keys. “Blaze, Rainbow Dash, Candy, and Scootaloo are in room 621. AppleJack, Apple Bloom, Rarity, and Sweetie Belle will be in room 622.”

“Aww, why can’t I stay with you guys?” Scoots complained to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.

“Engineer, Aqua, Psyche, Spike, and Flare will be staying in room 623.” Twilight continued. “And finally; Pinkie, Water, Crystal, Fluttershy, and I will be staying in room 624.”

“How many beds are there in each room?” Aqua asked.

“There’s four beds in each room and there’s the couch. So the fifth pony will be sleeping on the couch.” Twilight said.

“I’m not sleeping on the couch. Psyche, you sleep on the couch.” I said.

“You automatically pick me?” Psyche asked.

“I agree.” Spike said.

“I second that.” Aqua said.

“Dibs.” Engie said. Psyche sighed, and shook his head.

“I’ll be fine in sleeping on the couch in our room, Twilight.” Fluttershy said.

“No need, Fluttershy! I’m going to be sleeping in the day. I hear all the cool stuff happens at night!” Crystal said.

“Oh, okay Crystal.” Flutters said.

“Alright, let’s head to our rooms; then we can go see our parents!” Water said.

“Right. Did you call mom?” I asked her.

“Yes. I told her that we’ll see her right after we settle things here.” Water said. So we went up the glass elevators, which took a long time to come down, and we went over to our rooms which were in the northeast corner of the sixth floor.

“Oh lookie here, Psyche!” Engie pointed out.

“What is that?” Psyche asked. He looked over and saw the ice machine was right near our room. “DARN IT! I did not want to stay near the noisy ice machine!” Psyche looks around, and then he runs to a housekeeping cart and knocks it over. A Hispanic maid named Consuela comes out, and starts whacking Psyche on the head with a broom.

“NO, NO! NO! NO, NO!” Consuela repeated herself.

“OW! Quit it!” Psyche yelled.

“So Consuela works for Filthy Rich, the princesses, and she works at this Embacy Suites.” Spike said curiously. “How many jobs does this maid have?”

Consuela then pulls on Psyche’s ear and throws him into his room. Psyche tries to come out as he started rubbing his head. “No, no. You stay. You in time out.” Consuela said.

“What?” Psyche asked.

“You in time out. You stay in room.” Consuela said.

“But I have places to be!” Psyche complained.

“No, no.” Consuela said, tying him on the couch. “You stay.”

“Darn it!” Psyche yelled. “A little help guys?”

“Well, we’d be glad to help ya, Psyche! But ya seemed to be a little…. ‘tied up’ at the moment.” Engie teased and we all laughed.

“That’s an old joke, Engie.” Psyche said.

“I’m not laughing at the joke, I’m just laughing because everypony else is.” Spike said.

“Wow, this room is nice! Doesn’t beat sleeping on a cloud, but still nice!” Blaze said.

“I’d rather sleep in the room where Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are.” Scoots complained.

“Hey, I’m here right? Aren’t you happy for that at least?” Rainbow asked.

“Oh right! You’re in here Rainbow Dash! Mind if I sleep on your bed?” Scoots asked.

“No problem kiddo!” Rainbow said, patting her head.

“I’m not sleeping with Blaze!” Candy complained.

“I was actually thinking of Rainbow and I on one bed, and the fillies on the other one.” Blaze suggested.

“I know that’s what I was going with, but still Scoots wants to be near me, so I’ll sleep on the right side of our bed, and Scoots will sleep on the left side of hers.” Rainbow suggested.

“Want me to sleep with this loser that can’t even fly?” Candy asked.

“CANDY COTTON!” Rainbow shouted at her.

“What?! It’s true.” Candy said.

“Ehh, it’s cool, Rainbow Dash!” Scoots said. “I’ll get used to your sister, right?” she asked, putting her hoof around Candy.

“Don’t touch me.” Candy said to her angrily.

“By the way, Rainbow. You have to lay off on the Cheetos or something. You’re really starting to let yourself go.” Scoots pointed out.

Rainbow looked at her stomach and then yelled, “FOR THE LAST TIME! I’M NOT EATING TOO MUCH! I don’t know how this is happening!”

“We should hit the gym later, babe. Gotta lose some pounds. You’re gaining more and more each week!” Blaze said, poking her stomach.

“Shut up, Blaze!” Rainbow demanded, pushing him over.

“Ow! I was kidding, gosh!” Blaze whined as he rubbed his head in pain. After a little while later, Water, Pinkie and I went out of our rooms and started walking towards the elevators.

“Hey, wait! Where you guys going?” Blaze asked, running out of his room.

“We’re going to go see our parents.” I said.

“YOUR parents, silly Flare!” Pinkie reminded me. “Not mine!”

“Mind if I come to?” Blaze asked.

“Not at all! I think they’d like to meet you!” Blaze said excitedly.

“Awesome!” Blaze said.

“Where you four going?” Twilight asked.

“Off to see Flare’s parents!” Pinkie said.

“Mine too you know, don’t forget me.” Water added.

“I’ll come too.” Twilight insisted.

“Alright, can you tell the others that we’ll be back around 5?” I asked.

“Sure!” Twilight nodded.

“Tell them to call me if they’re going anywhere.” I advised.

“Rarity, Fluttershy, and AppleJack already went to the mall.” Twilight said.

“By themselves?!” I shouted.

“They’ll be fine, right?” Twilight asked.

“They don’t even know this town! I hope they know their way back.” Water said.

“How about Spike?” I asked.

“He went to the beach with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Candy Cotton, and Rainbow Dash.” Twilight answered.

“Ah, I less then three the beach!” I said. “I hope Spike goes well on his suntan! How about Crystal?” I asked as we walked inside the elevator.

“Crystal’s napping.” Twilight said.

“That’s cool!” Water nodded. “Aqua and Psyche went to the pool, and Engie’s getting a snack downstairs.”

“So where do your parents live?” Blaze asked. Before we walked out of the hotel, we saw Consuela grabbing Psyche by the ear at the pool and taking him back to the room.

“They live in an apartment luxury complex over at Hoofington Beach. Can’t wait to see them again!” I said excitedly.

“Luxury? You’re rich?” Twilight asked. “I mean… you were rich before moving to Ponyville?”

“Well not LOADED. I mean just enough. The Guns were among the first around Mareami. We were the third family to live on this land.” I said. “I mean I have other family members that are LOADED though. Some that live in Seastar Island. That’s where the rich ponies live!”

“Wow! I’m dating a rich pony!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Is that the only reason you’re dating me, Pinks? For my money?” I asked as I smirked at her.

“No, silly! I’m dating you because you’re rich! Your rich chocolatey taste.” Pinkie said as she licked her lips.

“Ok let’s not get carried away. Now how about we see my family?” I asked.

So we walked down Ocean Drive over to my parent’s house, but on the way, I had the feeling I was being watched. I wasn’t bullied at all yet, but I had the feeling I was about to. We went over to my parent’s apartment, and I turned the key and opened the door. “DING DONG!” I yelled out. “Burgle, burgle! We’re burglars! Here to steal all your junk!”

“FLAREY! WATER!” my mom Bow Gun yelled out, and gave us a big hug.

“Hey mom!” Water said.

“Hey best friend pookie face!” I said.

“I missed you both so much! How are you?” my mom asked.

“Great! Great! Where’s dad?” I asked.

“Where do you think he is?!” my mom complained.

“At work?” Water and I both asked at the same time.

“Jinx!” Water, Pinkie, and I all said at the same time.

“I like joining in stuff!” Pinkie said.

“Man, he works too much! I guess that’s why he never came down on Daddy’s Day.” I said upsettingly.

“And you have a problem with me calling him ‘daddy’.” Water teased and gave me a shove.

“Hey Twilight! Hey Pinkie!” mom greeted them and gave them a hug.

“Hi, Mrs. Gun!” Twilight said.

“HI, MOMMY IN LAW!” Pinkie cried out and tackle hugged her.

“Whoa, Pinkie!” I yelled out, trying to get her off. “That’s my mom!”

“And my in law!” Pinkie said.

“In law? Did you marry her?” mom asked. “I mean I know you’re going out, but married?”

“No, no, nothing like that! Not now!” I said.

“It’s quite alright.” mom said. “Hey Blaze!”

“Hey Bow! Good to see you again!” Blaze said excitedly.

“Likewise, Blaze! Last time we met, Flare thought you and his friends were stealing me from him.” Mom reminded us and chuckled.

Blaze chuckled along. “Yeah that was a crazy time, wasn’t it?”

“So where’s the rest of the Noble Six, Flarey?” mom asked.

“Around, but they’re all here, including the Mane Six, and those little crusader fillies.” I said.

“Did you bring the whole town with you, Flare?” mom asked. “You didn’t pay for their tickets did you?”

“Mom, clam down! That’s right, I said clam. Princess Celestia bought the tickets for the rest of them because it turns out this is a friendship lesson.” I explained. “Twilight wants to help me out with the problems Herb has been getting me into.”

“Did you see him lately?” mom asked.

“No I haven’t, thank Wizard of Feelings for that… or Hope, or Strength, I dunno. I don’t want one of them to get jealous.” I said. “But I have been seeing a lot of Swinebutt lately. He’s not bothering you, is he?”

“No, why?” mom asked.

“Just asking.” I said.

“Flare, can you please tell me?” mom asked.

“I’ll tell you later.” I said.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” Mom complained. “So how are you all enjoying Mareami?”

“IT’S SUPER DOOPER HOT AND BEAUTIFUL!” Pinkie cried out, and hopped in place.

“I KNOW, RIGHT?! IT’S SO AWESOME!” my mom yelled out and hopped along, then Water and I hopped along too. Blaze and Twilight just looked at eachother confusingly. “How about the fishies, Flare? How’s my little Darrel?”

“He’s doing great!” I said.

“I don’t know why you had to steal the fishies from me, Flare. Why?” mom asked.

“I couldn’t go to Ponyville alone! I needed to bring some family with me!” I said.

“But…. I’m there.” Water said.

Just then I had myself a little idea. “Hey mom, you want to meet some of my other friends?”

“Sure!” mom said.

“That’s awesome! Why don’t we all meet at Cheesecake Factory for dinner! Bring some family members along too!” I suggested.

“Good idea, Flare!” mom nodded.

“Yeah, I haven’t been at Cheesecake Factory in ages!” Water said.

“CHEESECAKE FACTORY! CHEESECAKE FACTORY!” Pinkie shouted and hopped. “Wait, what’s cheesecake factory?”

“It’s a great restaurant that serves great meals; and do you know what they serve for dinner?” I asked and winked.

“CHEESECAKE!” Pinkie yelled.

“I was actually going to say peanut butter pie, but yeah, they do serve cheesecake too!” I nodded.

“Sounds delicious, Flare!” Twilight said.

“When she we meet?” Blaze asked.

“Around 5. You know grandma doesn’t like to eat late.” Mom suggested.

“Good idea!” I said. “AM or PM?” My mom smirked at me, and gave me a playful push. “I’m serious! AM or PM?” I asked. So we went back to the hotel to pick up the others, and get ready so we can head over to the factory. Psyche had trouble getting out of the room,because Consuela kept putting him back in time out. I eventually distracted her by giving her a job to unclog the toilet because Spike took a giant dragon doo. Spike didn’t like the idea, but I did it anyway. I rented us a carriage and I drove us over to the cheesecake factory. We went out, and I saw my family just up ahead.

“Dad! Grandma Carbine! Everypony else I our family!” Water and I both said at the same time, and we given them hugs.

“Wow, y’all have a large family, Flare ‘n Water!” AppleJack said.

“Look who’s talking!” Rainbow Dash teased her.

“I would like you all to meet my family!” I said, introducing them. “My dad Sub-Machine Gun, my grandma Carbine Gun; my cousins Deagle Gun, Glock Gun, and Tazer Gun; my aunts Beretta Gun, and Shot Gun; my uncle AK Gun, my other uncle M4 Gun, but he’s not here right now; my grandpa Machine Gun the third who is here in spirit, and I got my other grandparents Kar Cannon, my nana, Colt Cannon who is also here in spirit, and the rest of the Cannon family live in Manehatten.” Then I whispered; “The Jersey side.”

“Eww! The Jersey side!” Rarity said in a digusted tone.

“So you used to be Bow Cannon?” Twilight asked my mom.

“That’s right, Twilight!” my mom said.

“And family, these are our friends; Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, AppleJack, Rainbow Dash, Blaze Goldheart, our beautiful mare Psyche Illusion, Crystal Iceblast, Aquatic Armor, Candy Cotton, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and….. that’s Kyle over there.” I said.

“Kyle?” Engie commented. “No, mah name is Red Engineer!”

“Really? Because you look like a Kyle to me.” I said to him.

“Come along Kyle, and the rest of Flare’s friends! Let’s head inside and have a nutritious meal!” aunt Beretta said as we started walking inside. So we ordered ourselves a table and sat down.

“Wow. This place is so fancy. Looks a lot more different than the Big Bang Theory’s version of the restaurant.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, I don’t really get that either.” My dad said.

“So Tazer, I had the feeling we met before.” Twilight said.

“We did! I went to Celestia’s school with you!” my cousin Tazer said.

“We did? How come I don’t remember?” Twilight asked.

“You were probably too busy on your studies to notice. You used to study a lot I know.” Tazer said.

“How come I didn’t see you at the high school reunion?” I asked.

“Why would you be there, Flarey? You weren’t at Celestia’s school.” Tazer reminded me.

“Oh, well you see, Twilight was sick one time, and I had to take over for her because she couldn’t go to her school reunion, so I filled in.” I said.

“Oh, so you were the Twilight that was rapping, huh?” Tazer asked.

“Pretty much.” I shrugged.

“Hey Deagle, I see you have an airplane as a cutie mark. You into flying too?” Rainbow Dash asked my other cousin.

“Sure am! It’s awesome, sista! I fly planes and balloons all the time. I even helped fly that Equestrian Airlines plane that flown into town at noon today.” Deagle said.

“Oh, that was the plane we were on!” Psyche said.

“Really? How come I didn’t notice you guys?” Deagle asked.

“Probably too busy flyin’?” Aqua asked. “Gettin’ air sickness?”

“I don’t fly, I’m not a Pegasus. What’s wrong with you?” Deagle asked and laughed.

“Wow, does your whole family have a sense of humor, Flare?” Aqua asked.

“LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!” my whole family said. Most of the ponies in the table were shocked after they heard that.

“Great, I’m surrounded by Flares!” Psyche complained, facehooving himself. “As if one Flare wasn’t bad enough.”

“What are you talking about Psyche? THIS IS AWESOME!” Pinkie yelled. “I love Flare’s family!”

“I’m sure Flare’s family love you too, Fluttershy!” my dad said.

Pinkie giggled. “I’m Pinkie Pie!”

“Really? Wow, there’s so many of you. I’m not good with names.” Dad said.

“Yeah, I’m Fluttershy actually.” Flutters said.

“You look really cute, Fluttershy!” my dad said. Fluttershy started to blush, and hid her face. Then my mom whacked my dad at the back of the head. “Ow!”

“I’m right here you know!” mom complained.

“What?! I wasn’t hitting on her or nothing!” dad complained. “I mean it is really nice to finally meet the Mama Fluttershy Flare kept talking about.”

“Some things just never change around here.” Water rolled her eyes and giggled.

“Wait, so that’s THEE Mama Fluttershy, huh?” Deagle asked.

“You really helped Flare out in those hard times, huh? That is very nice of you, Fluttershy!” Aunt Beretta said.

“Wow, Flare. I… I di-didn’t know I was so popular in your family.” Flutters said shyly.

“You’re like a mom to us, Mama Flutters! You’re our mom when our mom wasn’t around.” Water said

“I… I didn’t think I was a mom to you too, Water.” Flutters said.

”If Flare thinks so, then I think so too!” Water said.

“Ugh! Where’s our food!” Candy complained.

“We didn’t order yet.” Apple Bloom said.

My Uncle AK Gun chuckled. “I remember the ol Flare boy used to complain a lot about when the food will be here! I never forget!” grandpa said.

“Oh hush, Uncle AK. It runs in the family. Boop-boop-be-doop.” I said.

“It’s true! I never forget, Flarey-boy!” Uncle AK said. “I’m not old yet. I’m only 47 years old.”

“So Machine Gun, ah heard ya like to install stereos and alarms. Is that true?” Engie asked.

“Please, Engie. Machine Gun is my father. I’m Sub-Machine Gun.” My dad corrected him.

“Right, ah forgot the sub.” Engie said.

“They don’t serve subs here, Kyle.” Glock teased.

“Mah name ain’t Kyle!” Engie complained.

“I miss having you around, Flare! What do you do in Ponyville?” my aunt Shot Gun asked.

“I run a pizza parlor for a living!” I said.

“Oh that’s right! You couldn’t find a more original name for your shop?” Shot asked.

“I couldn’t think of a better name! Somepony already took Papa John’s!” I complained.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to meet a real live dinosaur!” Uncle AK said looking at Spike.

“Why does everypony in Flare’s family think I’m a dinosaur?” Spike asked. “I’m a dragon!”

“Really? Cause you look a lot like Barney.” Uncle AK said. “Well, I’ve always wanted to meet a real life dragon too, brah.”

“I’m pretty much the only dragon you’ll ever see!” Spike said.

“Don’t be too sure about that Spike! I’m right here!” Blaze reminded him.

“Yeah, but you’re a draconian. A half-pony, half-dragon. I’m full dragon!” Spike said. Pinkie spit out her food.

“Blaze is half dragon?!” Pinkie yelled.

“You didn’t know that?” Blaze asked. We all continued talking for a little bit, but then I saw something outside looking at me. It was pretty suspicious, and I wanted to be careful. But it couldn’t get me here, with all my family members and friends here. Aunt Beretta kept calling my name, but I was too distracted of the figure looking at me.

“Flare? Flare? FLARE?!” Beretta called out.

“Whoa! What?” I asked.

“I just wanted to ask, do you like living in Ponyville?” Beretta asked.

“I less then three it!” I said. “I mean, nothing can ever replace Mareami! I loved it here! It was just time for me to move on to a more peaceful place. Look how happy I am with my new friends.” I said.

“I understand.” Beretta said.

“But we miss you so much!” grandma said.

“I miss you too, Grandma! I miss going to your house to play Uno, and drink some of your delicious Strawberry, Banana, Orange Juice smoothies!” I said.

“Oh yeah, Flare sells some of those at his shop!” Crystal said.

“Oh you did, did you?” my grandma asked angrily. “I should sue you for stealing my recipe!”

“Look, grandma, I thought you would be cool with it?” I asked.

“As punishment for your thieving, you’ll have 20 kisses when we get home!” grandma said mischievously.

“Nooooo! Not the kisses!” I playfully freaked out.

“So sonny, you have yourself a special somepony I hear.” Uncle AK said, winking at me. I blushed.

“Well….. yeah.” I said.

“I AM!” Pinkie yelled out.

“You seem to be really cute and very active! You remind me of myself when I was younger!” aunt Shotty said.

“You were living in a rock farm?” Pinkie asked.

“No, of course not! I was just random like you!” Shotty said.

“You were? You mean you ‘still are’!” uncle AK said. Shotty playfully pushed AK in embarrassment.

“Hey, it’s alright AK! We all have our crazy times.” Twilight said.

“Like that one time you were freaking out for not getting the letter in time for Celestia?” Spike reminded her.

“That only happened one time!” Twilight shouted at him. Everypony laughed.

“I love your friends, Flare! They crack me up!” Deagle said.

“Yeah, I guess you made the right choice in moving to Ponyville, huh?” Glock asked.

“Oh what? You didn’t want me here? You liked it when I moved to Ponyville?” I asked, feeling insulted.

“No, no! Don’t take it like that!” Glock said. “It’s just that-“

“I know what you meant, Glock!” I teased and chuckled.

“Heh! Yer family cracks me up too, Flare!” AppleJack said. So we all had our meals, and we eventually walked out. We said our goodbyes, and I drove us back to the hotel. I felt like going for a walk, so I went out and did so. I was just about to head out, but then Twilight chased after me.

“Flare! Flare!” Twilight called out.

“Sup sista?” I asked.

“Where you going?” Twilight asked.

“Just for a walk around memory lane! Wanna join?” I asked.

“Sure! I have nothing better to do!” she said and smiled.

“Alright, sounds like a plan!” I said. “But Mareami streets are different than Ponyville streets. There are cracks in the sidewalk so be sure not to trip.”

“Flare, don’t worry about it, I’ll be fi- WHOA!” Twilight yelled as she tripped over. “That felt a little big to be a crack.”

“That was a sewage drain actually.” I corrected her. So we both started walking around East beach. We were eventually walking around the beach, and I was looking up at the moon.

“So this is where you went to talk to Luna, huh?” Twilight asked.

“Yeppers!” I said. “I used to walk around this beach every night when it’s not raining so I can talk to her.”

“I’m learning so much about your life, Flare! It’s really interesting!” Twilight said.

“Ehh, you still don’t know the half of it.” I said.

“So what are we going to do tomorrow, Flare?” Twilight asked.

“The same thing we do every night, Twilight. TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!” I yelled out, and laughed evilly.

“Oooook.” Twilight said confusingly.

“I’m going to get ready for the award ceremony.” I said.

“Oh that’s awesome, Flare! Good luck!” Twilight said.

“I say you and the others should go over to the theme parks tomorrow! All three theme parks are right near eachother!” I suggested.

“Actually, I was thinking of going to the Lunar Space Center with Psyche!” Twilight said.

“Or you can do that! I’m sure the kiddies, Pinkie, and Crystal would like to go over to the theme parks and play over there. Trust me! They’re really fun!” I said.

“I’ll take your word for it!” Twilight said. Just then, I had the feeling I was being watched again. “What’s wrong, Flare?”

“I keep having the feeling that I’m being watched!” I said as I looked around.

“You’re over reacting, Flare.” Twilight said.

“No I’m not.” I said. “Come on. We should head to a more populated area. Maybe I can show you the West Palm Night Club!”

“That’s pretty cool! Alright, let’s go!” Twilight said. So we walked over to the night club, but the whole way there, I was being followed by a strange figure. It wasn’t Swinebutt, I knew that for sure. This figure was too tall to be Swinebutt. I walked on over to the night club with Twilight, and we took a seat. We ordered ourselves some drinks. “So Flare, you did mention something in the song you sang before about the Gatorglades.” Twilight said.

“The Gatorglades is a swamp near here. Alligators roam that place. On field trips, I used to go there with my class, we go on airboats and ride around the sawgrass areas, and observe everything!” I explained. “We also had a fun activity! Every time the tour guides said ‘blue’, we had to say ‘beautiful water’! Everytime they said ‘red’, we say ‘sugarcane’! And everytime they said ‘green’, we say ‘cattail’!”

“I used to go on some interesting field trips with Princess Celestia, but we never did fun activities like that.” Twilight said.

“Well you should’ve.” I said. “We used to take lots of cool field trips! We used to go to the Lunar Space Center, Lighthouse Point, and the museums; there’s a science museum nearby if you want to see!”

“I’d be delighted!” Twilight said. Just then, a couple of ponies in tuxedos and sunglasses started walking towards me.

They grabbed my shoulder, and one said; “Crimson Flare Gun? You’re coming with us.”

“LAWL WHAT?!” I yelled out. Twilight suddenly preformed a blast spell to blast them away from me.

“Who are those stallions?” Twilight asked.

“I’m not sure! By the looks of things, they’re part of a mafia!” I said.

“Crimson, you need to come with us.” One of them said.

“Over Twilight’s dead body!” I yelled, activating my hornsaber.

“Wow….. really?” Twilight glared at me. They started walking towards me, and I whacked them with my hornsaber, knocking them out. Just as I feeling relieved, more mafia stallions showed up and started shooting stun spells at me. Twilight pushed me over and we both took cover. “We have to get out of here!” Twilight yelled.

“No need to axe twice!” I said. “Woowoowoowooowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo!” I activated my SHOOP DA WHOOP, and shot it at a support beam which nearly fell on them. All the mafia ponies jumped out of the way over falling support beam, which slowed them down but they were not out. Twilight and I started running towards the door where a couple of mafia ponies were guarding. I used water squirter on them, laughed like Peter Griffin, and I ran outside. We started running back to our hotel, but they were chasing us. Twilight and I started shooting laser blast spells at them. We then ran behind a dark alley and climbed up a letter to the roof of a building. I found a couple of cardboard boxes up there, and threw them down at the mafia ponies. We were running around the rooftops, and but we soon had no more roof to jump to. The next roof was too far away. We looked back and we saw some of the mafia ponies running towards us. Twilight and my horns started glowing, and we were ready to defend ourselves against anything that was about to get in our way. Just then, Blaze and Rainbow Dash came to protect us. Rainbow Dash started spinning around the mafia ponies, and Blaze was about to breathe fire on them, but before he can, they ran away. Twilight and I collapsed on the ground in exhaustion.

“DON’T LET THEM GET AWAY!” Rainbow yelled.

“Let them go, babe. We saved Twilight and Flare.” Blaze said to her. He then looked over at us and asked, “Are you two alright?”

“I guess so. Thanks for saving us, you guys!” Twilight said.

“What were those?” Rainbow asked.

“Mafia ponies. They’re out to get me for some reason. I don’t know why though!” I said. “This is what I was afraid of coming back here. Somepony STILL has a grudge on me. Probably Herb.”

“We better get you two back to the hotel.” Blaze insisted. So Blaze and Rainbow took us both back to the hotel, and we stayed there for the rest of the night. The next morning came, and we were having breakfast downstairs.

“Are ya sure ya don’t want to come, Flare?” AppleJack asked.

“I have to get ready for the award ceremony. Go ahead AppleJack! The fillies need this!” I insisted.

“Ya want me to take them to the theme parks? What if we miss the award show?” AppleJack asked.

“You won’t, don’t worry.” I said.

“I got Celestia to give us tickets, and fast passes. We can skip the lines if we want.” Twilight said.

“This is going to be sooooo cool!” Sweetie Belle yelled in excitement.

“Can’t wait to try out an actual rollercoaster!” Scootaloo said excitedly.

“Ah hope they have caramel apples there!” Apple Bloom said.

“THEME PARK! I wanna go to Candy Kingdom first!” Pinkie yelled in excitement.

“A’right! A’right!” AppleJack said.

“I can’t wait to get there! But it’s all the way across town though.” Crystal said.

“Just catch the 10:30 bus. It drives all around town! You should be able to go over to the theme parks using that.” Water explained.

“Thanks, Water!” AppleJack said.

“But AppleJack?” I started to whisper in her ear. “If you see anypony wearing a tuxedo and sunglasses that look suspicious, get away from them, alright?”

“Ya got it sugarcube!” AppleJack winked.

“You all have fun now!” I said. “Try every ride at least once!”

“Don’t worry, we will!” Candy said.

“Absolutely! Except for the Tower of Terrible though. Complete waste of a ride.” Crystal said. And so the CMCs, AppleJack, Candy, Pinkie, and Crystal all left for the theme parks.

“Well, Twilight and I are heading for the Lunar Space Center!” Psyche said.

“Have fun, sista!” I said.

Psyche sighed. “For the last time, Flare! I’m not a mare!”
“Hey you rhymed!” I pointed out.

“You sure you’ll be alright?” Twilight asked.

“Of course! Blaze and Water will stick by me the whole time!” I said.

“We’re going back to the mall!” Rarity said excitedly.

“You all need anything?” Flutters asked.

“No thanks. Actually, if you find any of that Italian chocolate, my mom loves those! Can you get some for her?” I asked.

“Of course!” Flutters said.

“And get some of the Irish brew for me.” Water requested.

“See you at the awards ceremony, Flare!” Rarity said. Then Rarity and Flutters left for the mall.

“Alright, so Rainbow Dash, Spike, and Aquaman went to the beach, and Engie went to see my dad and learn about his stereo and alarm business. So we better get to the stadium, and go check ourselves in!” I said.

“You think those mafia ponies will be coming after you again?” Water asked.

“Hope not. The stadium has tight security though, so I don’t think they’ll be trying anything that big.” I said. So we took the rented carriage over to the stadium to check ourselves in. Meanwhile, the ponies that went to the theme parks made it to Candy Kingdom.

“WHOA! This is sooooo cool!” Apple Bloom said excitedly.

“CANDY KINGDOM! CANDY KINGDOM!” Pinkie yelled, and then she ran over to the ticket booth to get a ticket. “Hello! Seven tickets for Candy Kingdom please!”

“You’ll have to wait in line like everypony else.” The pony in the booth said.

“But I got a fast pass! I skip the lines.” Pinkie said.

“You only skip the lines inside the park.” The booth pony corrected her.

“Pinkie, we already have our tickets!” AppleJack reminded her.

“Oh right.” Pinkie giggled as they all waited in line to get inside the park. They slid their tickets in, placed their hoof prints on the scanner, but Crystal made beeping sounds yet again and as she was doing so, security came and pinned her down again.

“AWW C’MON!” Crystal yelled.

“Sheesh, you seem really suspicious this weekend, Crystal.” Candy said. Back at the stadium, I went to check myself in for the award ceremony, but before I went inside, a mysterious figure started shooting with a stun gun at me. Luckily for us, the stadium’s security showed up and chased him away.

“They followed you here!” Water said.

“I’ll take care of this!” Blaze said, about to fly after them.

“No, I need you to stay with me, Blaze. I need you to defend me, not attack them. This is a defending mission.” I explained.

Blaze sighed. “Fine, but I really wanted some action!”

“You’ll get your action, I promise. For now, I have to check myself in, and then I have to go back to the hotel and change for the red carpet, and then come back here.” I explained.

“Why couldn’t you change now and get it out of the way?” Blaze asked.

“I don’t want to get my tux sweaty. Mareami’s a hot place, brah.” I informed him.

“Right.” He said. “You know what I just figured out, man? Your entire family wears a vest.”

“No they don’t; they don’t all share one vest.” I reminded him.

“Yeah, Blaze!” Water said.

“That’s not what I meant.” Blaze corrected me.

“I know what you mean, brah! Have you just met me recently?” I asked. “Yes, they all wear vests. It’s a Gun thing. We all wear different colored vests, or sometimes the same color, and we all wear shoes on our hind hooves.”

“Right.” Blaze said. So, the day went by pretty fast. Psyche and Twilight were really enjoying the Lunar Space Center, learning all about the awesome space travels they made, one small step for ponykind! Engie was having fun, learning all that my dad knows at his store. Rarity and Flutters were at the mall with my mom, and my mare cousins; and Aqua, Spike, and Rainbow were relaxing down at the beach. Spike was really working on his sun tan; working a little too much if you ask me. Over at the theme parks, the ponies that went there were trying out any ride they can! The CMCs had problems getting in the rides where they weren’t tall enough in. Candy kept complaining about why it matters about size, Pinkie too, but she was tall enough for the rollercoaster. Candy eventually had an idea and just flew up to the spot where she had to be the size to go on the ride.
“If my head reaches this thing, I go in right?” Candy asked. The pony just shrugged and let her in. The rest of the CMCs were wearing a tall disguise so they can go in the ride. As soon as they were done at Candy Kingdom, they moved over to the Magic World theme park. There were a lot of robots guarding the place that had a big black circle with a red S on them. AppleJack knew something was wrong; she had the feeling they were Swinebots, which they were, but the robots had no interests in them; it was the mafia ponies AppleJack had to be aware of. Aqua and Rainbow Dash went to check out the view over at the Lighthouse, and they really enjoyed it! Well…. Rainbow did. Aqua wasn’t a big fan of heights and he started breathing heavily in the breathing mask he took from the plane. After a while, it was 2 PM, so I wanted to get ready back at the hotel to get ready. I checked myself in and such, but before we could leave though, we had to make a pit-stop.

“Oh wait, I have to use the restroom.” Blaze said.

“Can it wait until we get to the hotel?” I asked.

“No.” Blaze said, dancing around.

“Alright, but only if you have to go number 1.” I said.

“Yes.” Blaze said.

“Fine. Make it quick.” I instructed him. Blaze ran over to the bathroom to relieve himself, and we were waiting near the carriage for him. We were waiting there for 20 minutes; I was wondering what took him so long. I had the feeling he had to poop, so I gave him a phone call seeing what took him so long, but he didn’t answer. I left him 3 messages in his voice mail, I knew something wasn’t right. Water and I went back inside the stadium to see where Blaze is. I told Water to wait outside, so I went inside the restroom, but I didn’t see him anywhere. I kept hearing slams in the broom closet door though, so I opened it (not the best idea I ever had), and I saw Blaze all tied up in there.

“Well Blaze, you seemed to be a little tied up at the moment. LAWL!” I teased.

I removed the handkerchief in his mouth, and he said; “Ok first off, that joke was already made yesterday, and second… It’s a trap!”

“You’re not Admiral Ackbar.” I corrected him. Just then I was whacked in the head with a pipe. “OW! What the hay?”

“Hello, Crimson! Remember me?” a familiar voice asked.

“NO! Why don’t you go away?! LEAVE ME ALONE, HERB!” I yelled.

“Junior or senior?” the voice asked.

“I dunno, junior?” I asked.

“You think I’m a traitor and a poor excuse for a son? Nooooo.” The voice said. His face comes out of the shadows and I saw it was Herb Leafhorn Senior, my elementary school principle.

“Principle Herb Leaforn, Senior. I knew it had to be you OR your son.” I said.

“That’s right! You’re a fool to come back here, Crimson. You should’ve never come back!” he said.

“See Blaze? SEE?! I knew this was gonna happen! I just knew it!” I said.

“Me and the Sharks mafia were coming after you.” Herb Senior said.

“The sharks?!” I yelled. “That gang that lives in Gangsville?”

“Yes!” Herb said.

“Why are you coming after me?” I asked.

“Because, I loathe your family! What your family did to mine centuries ago! Colonel Machine Gun murdered Weed Leafhorn, and your family will pay! If my son can’t do anything about it, THEN I WILL!”

“That was years ago, brah! Get over it!” I yelled.

“No… not until I ruin your family or run you ALL out of town! I could’ve gotten you at the Cheesecake Factory, but we were outnumbered and it was too much of a public place, but now that I got you right where I want you, time to make sure you leave town AGAIN!” Herb Senior said mischievously.

“Not if I have anything to say about it!” Blaze said.

“Quiet you freak of nature!” Herb shouted at him.

“HEY! Leave Blaze alone!” I demanded.

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” Herb asked mischievously. “I have some of my brothers hunting down your sister right now.”

“IF YOU DARE LEAVE A HOOF ON HER-!” I yelled.

“How about do as I say and she doesn’t get hurt, huh?” Herb Senior suggested. I knew I was screwed, and I knew from the start that Herb Senior was part of a mob! I just knew it! He still has a grudge on me, but what did he mean before that his son is a traitor and poor excuse for a son? What does he mean by that? The minute I thought I was done for, it was the same time a couple of more goons showed up and aimed water guns against Herb Senior’s head.

“Not if we have anything to say about it.” The goons said.

“The Friendship Mafia! GET OUT OF HERE!” Herb yelled at them.

“Step away from the ponies! That red pony is coming with us!” one of the mafia ponies said.

“I am so confused right now. Weren’t those the same mafia ponies they went after us?” I asked.

“Why are they against Herb?” Blaze asked.

“Because the Sharks gang and the Friendship Mafia gang are rivals!” Herb Senior said. “My poor excuse for a son has discovered harmony and has joined them! I will get my revenge on him soon enough! I will return for you Crimson Flare Gun, you and your whole family!” Herb Senior then ran off as fast he could.

“What is going on here?” I asked. Just then, the mafia ponies shoved a giant sack over my head. This was about the time that AppleJack and the others finished up at Magic World and went to Galactic Studios, and Psyche and Twilight decided to tour the Gatorglades after they were done at the space center. A half hour went by, the mafia ponies removed the sack from my head, but I wasn’t tied up or nothing. I was standing in the middle of what looked like a briefing room. “Wow, this place is filthy! Smells like dead rat in here!”

“We got those a lot.” A mafia pony said.

“Hello, Flare Gun!” a familiar voice said. “Or should I say, ‘butthead’? Heh, I’m jokin’ with you, buddy. I’ve been quite clever lately after I shoved my bulliness aside.”

“Who… who are you?” I asked.

“You don’t recognize me, do you?” the voice said as he walked out of the shadows and revealed himself to me. “Hello, Flare Gun! It’s been a long time!”

“Herb Leafhorn, Jr. My old school bully. The one that got me to go out with Blueberry Pie and made me befriend Swinebutt, and then has forced them to betray me.” I said.

“I know, I know, I have a lot of explaining to do.” Herb Jr. said.

“YOU’RE DARN RIGHT YOU DO! You really got some nerve to kidnap me! I got friends in high places now that’ll kick your flank!” I yelled.

“Flare, listen!” Herb attempted to get my attention.

“NO, YOU LISTEN! You made Swinebutt betray me; you made my life miserable at school!” I yelled.

“FLARE! LISTEN TO ME!” Herb yelled and slammed on the table.

“Why are you calling me Flare? Why don’t you call me Crimson like you always do?” I asked. “You know I hate it.”

“That’s why I’m not calling you it!” Herb said. “Look, Flare. I’m really sorry, alright? My pop made me bully you! He persuaded me to hate Guns and made me think your ancestors murdered one of mine and declared war on them, until I found out later that it was all a lie. A big fat lie!”

“You have to believe me, man. He didn’t mean any of this to happen, man.” Herb’s friend Angel Heartstrings said to me.

“Angel Heartstrings. Wow… you haven’t changed a bit.” I said as I observed him.

“It was wrong for us to bully you like that, Flare. We owe you our sincere apologies.” Herb’s other friend Annabelle said.

“Annabelle too. What’s going on here, Herb?” I asked.

“I want to make peace with you, Flare! I’m a good guy. You have it all wrong, man.” Herb said. “I’ve been trying to get in contact with you for ages. I wanted to go to Ponyville to look for you, but you wouldn’t believe me, so I had to prove it somehow. When I found out that my pop was hunting you down, I couldn’t just let him get away with it.”

I couldn’t believe it. My biggest enemy of my past wants to befriend me. I had the strangest feeling though, but… it had to be true. His dad said so. “You know what, I actually believe you.” I said.

“You do? Did my dad tell you?” Herb asked.

“He did. That’s pretty much why I believe you. I had the feeling you were too easy on me. I saw by the look of your eyes that you didn’t like it. I do want to make peace with you too, Herb. I don’t let the past bother me. That’s why I moved to Ponyville. I was afraid to come back because then you’d try to get me to leave again if I returned, but it turns out that you want what I want.” I said.

“It is true.” Herb nodded. “Flare, I feel so guilty about picking on you, and beating you up at school, and I’ll do anything to make it up to you! After I saw Swinebutt betray you like that, I felt…. I felt that all this hate in the world, I mean…. Look nopony wants hate, and I know that for sure. My dad’s a leader of the Shark gang mafia. They like to do anything to keep them on top, make them rich, selfish. So in hoping to fix my mistakes, I joined the Friendship Mafia gang here in Little Hoovana. My friend, the don, Poni Cipriani, created this gang to keep the peace, keep friendship flowing along! I know how much you wanted that, so I thought if I were to join this gang, I thought you’d be happier, but I was too late, you ran away. Until I found out you moved to Ponyville, I felt so bad that you might’ve not liked it. So I wanted to make sure nopony else suffers the same fate as you!”

I was really confused there for a second. “Forty-five degree angle mouth face.” I said. “So…. You never really hated me?”

“Your jokes were a little annoying, but no I didn’t hate you. I was young, stupid, and now I’m old enough to make my own decisions. My dad cannot control me anymore.” Herb explained. “After what my dad did to you,and all the other ponies he hated….. I hated him for that. So I must do all I can to destroy his gang, and restore peace to the city!”

“Wow…. I… I never thought you felt that way.” I said surprisingly.

“I will not stand by and see other ponies suffer hate, conflicts, suffering, anger, selfishness. It’s so unbearable, Flare!” Herb said.

“My teddy is unbearable.” I teased and laughed.

“Funny.” Herb said. “So, if you want to punch me in the face right now, and beat me up, so we can be even, then by all means do so!”

“But….. NO!” I said.

“Why not? You know you want to!” Herb said. “It’s ok! I promise I won’t get my gang to stop you.”

“Herb, you apologized, you learned your lesson, and you were only trying to protect yourself. I might’ve done the same thing. But you know what? Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left though.” I said. “But my point is… beating you up will not solve my problems, but you making Mareami peaceful for me, well…… that means a lot to me, Herb.” I held my hoof out, so I can have a bro-hoof, and he did so.

“So we cool now?” Herb asked.

“No, of course not! I just bro-hoofed you, and said that you did something that meant a lot to me, so no we’re not cool.” I said sarcastically.

“Nice, I see you learned sarcasm!” Herb said and chuckled.

“Learn new stuff everyday, my friend! Learn new stuff everyday!” I said and nodded. “But I’ll need all the lunch money back that you stole from me.

“Of course!” Herb said.

“And one more thing: Swinebutt is coming after me.” I said.

“I figured.” Herb said. “He betrayed me too after I failed a mission he gave me.”

“Looks like Swinebutt is both of our to-do list’s, huh?” I asked.

“My gang will do all they can, if they see him around these parts, we’ll teach him a lesson he’ll never forget!” Herb said. “But mainly, I’m keeping watch of my pop. He’s our gang’s main problem.”

“Thanks, Herb! You’re really an unexpecting ally, you know that?” I asked.

“Sometimes if you think somepony is mean to you, they always have a reason. Maybe they might be a trusted ally someday.” Herb said. “Do all bullies really want to be bullies? Or are they only that way because of a stupid reason?”

“That will be a letter for Princess Luna!” I said.

“Oh, you know Luna?” Herb asked.

“Yeppers!” I said. “Now listen, I better get back to hotel and get ready for the award ceremony!”

“Oh yeah, you were nominated for best pizza restaurant! Congratulations, Flare! I see your life outside of Mareami really paid off!” Herb said.

“I’ll need a ride though, and protection from the Sharks.” I said.

“At your service! Would you like to meet the leader of our gang?” Herb asked.

“Sure.’ I said.

“I’m actually a co-leader, I run this gang along with our founder. Poni?” Herb yelled out. A fat blue pony with a tuxedo came in, and he had an Italian accent.

“Yeah, yeah, what is it Leafhorn?” the mafia don asked.

“Flare, this is our don, Poni Cipriani!” Herb said.

“Hey I’m Poni Cipriani!” Poni said and nodded.

“Heheh! GTA reference!” I chuckled.

“Oh, wiseguy, huh?” Poni asked, taking off his sunglasses.

“Sure am!” I said.

“Ah, capieche!” Poni nodded. “I like wiseguys. I tolerate them. Wiseguys make the world go ‘round, know what I mean?”

“Anyways, I better get ready for the awards.” I said. So Herb and Poni took me back to the hotel so I can get ready for the award ceremony. I went over to the awards ceremony and took a walk on the red carpet where ponies were taking pictures of the nominees!

“Hello! Grass Marks here with the nominees of this year’s Food Choice Awards! We’re here with mister Flare Gun, founder and owner of Flare’s Pizza Parlor!” Grass Marks the news anchor said. “How are you, mister Gun?”

“Doing great, brah! I never been nominated in anything that didn’t have to do with having the best black and blue face!” I said.

“Well it’s nice that you got nominated for something decent! Now is it true that you were from this city?” Grass Marks asked.

“I got a better question for you, Grass! If life gives you lemons, replace them with garlic rolls to shove in their mouths!” I said.

“Uhh, that wasn’t a question.” Grass corrected me.

“No, that wasn’t the question. The question is: To be or not to be?” I said.

“Ooook then, well good luck to you, Mr. Gun!” Grass said.

“Your welcome!” I said, shoving a garlic roll in his mouth and walking inside. I took a seat next to my friends and family, and was getting ready for them to announce the awards. For the pre-show’s musical number, we had Slim Haydey do a rap for us. The awards were announced, we had the best food services, best fruit, best bakery (which by the way, the Cakes won that one, and I had no idea they were there), and we came on down to the best pizza restaurant. The nominees were, Pizza Pie, Boorlie Pomodoro, and me. The winner was…… Boorlie Pomodoro.

“LAWL WHAT?!” I yelled.

“HA! In your face, Flare Gun! For once, I’m the better restaurant!” Boorlie taunted me.

“You don’t even run a pizza shop anymore. You run Swinebutt’s BBQ now.” I corrected him. As soon as they heard that, Boorlie was disqualified and I was the automatic winner! I was actually pretty shocked; I didn’t know I was going to win to be honest. I was really really happy! All my friends hugged me as I walked on stage to collect my award.

I went and did my speech right after; “Thank you! Thank you all, brahs and sistas! I really didn’t expect this! I will like to thank all my friends for helping me get this far, my grandma Carbine for teaching me how to be a great chef, the Chef’s University of Mareami, and of course all of my employees! I couldn’ve gone this far without you all! Happy face!” I said. So everypony was cheering at me, but I had the feeling somepony was missing in the crowd. It was actually Blaze who was missing; he was still tied up in the closet in the bathroom.

“Hello? HELLLLOOOOOO?!” Blaze yelled out. “Is anypony going to let me out anytime soon? I really need to be pee!” And so, I won my award, and then the next day I did some activities around the city with my friends, and spend a lot of time with my family! Candy got to fly off the Bank of Equestria building Downtown; she sure felt dat Mareami heat! They all did! Got to spend some time at the theme parks, totally unaware of the robots that were guarding Magic World, and we sure had a fantastic vacation! The day after, we all packed up our stuff, and put them on the limo for our trip back to Ponyville. Spike was burning red, since he was suntanned too much.

“I’ll tell you something , Twilight. My tanning days are over!” Spike said.

“No kidding!” Twilight said and giggled.

“Don’t peel off any skin in the limo, eh?” the limo driver advised him.
.
“I can’t believe you’re already leaving.” My mom said very sadly to me.

“Hey, we’ll be back very soon, mom! I promise!” Water said.

“Now that I know I have friends here, and I’ll be safe from harm, I should be coming back a lot more often now!” I said.

“I’m just…. It’s like you JUST got here.” Mom said.

“Mom….” Water said in a comforting tone and then we both hugged her.

“We’ll call you everyday! Just…. Be strong!” I said.

“I’ll be fine, Flarey. It’s you I’m worried about.” Mom said.

“I’ll be fine, mom! I promise!” I said.

“You better not break that promise! Or you’re dead!” mom threatened.

“I love you too, mom!” I said smiling at her.

“I love you so much, just checking, poke.” My mom said with her hoof out.

“I love you so much, just checking, poke too.” I said as I poked my mom’s hoof.

“Be safe, son! Keep that shop alive!” dad said.

“Don’t worry, dad! I even expanded! I’ll expand here too! Don’t you worry!” I said.

“Are you sure you wanna go, Flare? You don’t have to. We’ll make sure you stay safe! You can join our gang, and keep the peace!” Herb suggested to me.

“We’re always open for new members!” Poni said.

“Thanks, brahs,but…. Mareami will always be my home! I would never abandon it! Mareami will always be my motherland!” I said.

“Listen to him, he sounds Russian.” Crystal chuckled.

“But you see, Ponyville’s my home now, and I made a lot of friends already! I can’t just leave them!” I said.

“You can’t just leave us either you know!” mom said.

“She’s got a point there.” Herb nodded.

“I know, but I already set up everything there. but I promise, Pinkie promise, that’ll be back!” I said, crossing my heart and sticking a cupcake in my eye.

“Pinkie promise?” Poni asked.

“I MADE THAT UP!” Pinkie said, hopping.

“I see.” Poni said.

“Alright, Flare, but remember, if you need us, we’ll be here…. Waiting for ya!” Herb said as he winked at me.

“Thanks, Herb! Kick your dad’s flank!” I advised him.

“HEY! Don’t talk about my dad that way!” Herb yelled at me.

“What?” I asked.

Herb then laughed. “I’m messing with ya, c’mon!”

“HA! You got me, man!” I chuckled.

"Well Flare, how about you make like a tree, and get outta here?" he asked.

"How many times do I have to remind you? It's 'make like a tree' and 'LEAVE'!" I corrected him.

"I don't get it!" Herb yelled.

"Leave sounds like 'leaf', and trees have leaves." I informed him.

"Oooooooh! Makes much more sense now." he said and chuckled.

"Really, Herb? Does it?" I asked sarcastically.

"Perhaps." he said. I just stared at him, gave him and a look, and then I let out those two dog pant laughs I occasionally do. “See ya around, Flare!” Herb said.

“Don’t be a stranger now.” Poni said.

“Be safe!” mom said, hugging me.

“I’ll be great! Very great!” I promised.

“Not correct grammar, Flare.” Twilight corrected me.

“Don’t ruin the moment Twilight.” I instructed her.

“Well…. Catch you all on the flipside! Kay thanks bye!” I said as I stepped into the limo and took a seat.

“Remember: the Friendship Mafia will always be there to accept any favors, if you ever need us.” Herb said to me.

“WAIT UP!” Psyche yelled, hoping into the limo, being chased by Consuela.

“NO, NO! TIME OUT, NOW!” Consuela yelled out.

“GET US OUT OF HERE! NOW!” Psyche yelled. So the limo started driving back to Mareami International Airport. My family, Herb, and Poni all waved goodbye as the limo drove to the Airport. On the way there though, the Shark mafia was keeping watch of us as we drove by.

“I’ll get you, Flare Gun! You just wait!” Herb senior swore. So we headed to the airport and flown back home to Ponyville, which the plane ride was pretty much the same as when we were flying up.

Author's Notes:

I made this chapter mainly because I wanted to tell a story about Mareami, the ponified Miami, Flare and Water's hometown and what it contains. I also wanted everypony to go check it out. At the same time, I wanted to bring more story into this chapter by bringing back Herb Leafhorn, and showing that he's reformed, and has joined the Friendship Mafia to bring peace to Mareami.

Herb and the Friendship Mafia will return many times in future chapters, in fact, I am planning on making a spin-off called the Friendship Mafia, and Herb Jr. being the protagonist, and Herb Sr. being the main antagonist, as well as Angel Heartstrings, Annabelle, and Poni Cipriani having major parts, and a bunch of new characters would appear. When I get the time, I may attempt to finish wha I started already in the spin-off because I started it a long time ago but I wanted to remake the old stories of Friendship is Epic, so it was put on hold. Since I'm way behind, I dunno when I'm returning to it, but I'll do my best in the future.

Unlike the other musical numbers I made on here, this one I actually recorded and uploaded it on youtube! Click this link if you want to hear it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXVQuvtYnvU

Flare Through Time II

View Online

*Road to Europe Theme Song plays in the background*

SHROOM FILMS PRESENTS….

FLARE THROUGH TIME II

STARTING:
MegaSean45 as Flare Gun
Cathy Weseluck as Spike
Brony with the Bowtie as Doctor Whooves

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC FANFIC

CREATED BY: MEGASEAN45

Twis was the night before the night before the night before the night before the night before night….. actually, twis was the week before Hearth’s Warming. I just got finished ice skating with Pinkie Pie. I was replacing my ice skates with my regular shoes, and I saw Spike come along. “What’s up, Flare?” Spike asked.

“Sup brah?” I asked.

“I asked you first.” Spike corrected me.

“No, I axed YOU first!” I argued with him.

“Whatever, nothing much just strolling along. You enjoying the snow?” Spike asked.

“Yeppers!” I said. “Ever since the first day, I’ve been loving the snow!”

“The first day, you were afraid of the snow!” Spike reminded me.

A cutaway shows me opening the door to my trailer, and I was really feeling nervous. “C’mon Flarey, you can do it!” Pinkie said.

“I’m not sure, Pinks! What if my hooves get cold?” I asked.

“SUCK IT UP, FLARE GUN!” Pinkie yelled, grabbing my jacket, and slapping my face. “YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING!”

“PLEASE don’t grab my jacket Pinkie, I really hate that.” I said.

“Then go!” Pinkie ordered me, pushing me closer to outside, but I didn’t step out yet. I was still feeling nervous, but I knew I had to do it. “C’mon, Flarey! What’s there to worry about?”

“I’ll get frostbite.” I said.

Pinkie giggled. “Don’t be silly, Flarey-Warey! I know you can do it! I believe in you!”

“You do?” I asked.

“Of course, silly willy! Now make auntie Pinkie proud and step onto the snow!” Pinkie instructed me. I looked down at the snow, lifted my front hoof up very slowly, and then I was just about to put my hoof down. I walked slowly outside, really nervously, then I opened my eyes, and I was right outside.

“I DID IT! I made it outside! Nothing can stop me now!” I yelled.

“I like trains!” Derpy said, but just then, a train ran me over. Seriously? Why was there a train right in front of my house? Did I move my trailer to the trainstation and didn’t notice since the tracks were covered by snow? Or was this just a gag? The cutaway gag ends with Spike and I walking over to Rarity’s shop.

We walked inside, and we see Rarity working on a dress; Aqua was in there too though as Rarity was making a new armor cover for him. “Oh yes this is good, very good! Very fabulous, Aqua! You’re going to look… mwah!” Rarity said.

“Are ya sayin’ I look like a kiss?” Aqua asked.

“Hey Rarity!” Spike said.

“Hey Aqua!” I said.

“Hey Aqua!” Spike said.

“Hey Rarity!” I said.

“Hey Flare!” Spike said.

“Hey Spike!” I said.

“Flare! Spikey Wikey!” Rarity greeted us.

“How’s it going, mates?” Aqua asked.

“Sup sista?” I asked.

“How you doing, Rarity?” Spike asked.

“Sup brah?” I asked.

“How you doing…. Rarity?” Spike asked again.

“Just working on a dress!” Rarity said.

“No ya not.” Aqua corrected her.

“Oh, sorry dear. It’s a habit!” Rarity said.

“She’s making a cover for my armor.” Aqua said. “Rarity says my armor looks… how ya say… bland, so she’s trying to decorate it up a bit.”

“I wouldn’t blame her. Just look at that rusty ol thing! Ever change out of that?” I asked. “I never seen you wear anything other than that armor! I never even seen you without that armor! If you wanted to wear a jacket, you’d just put it over the armor!”

“I never did that.” Aqua corrected me.

“No, but judging by the fact you never take off that armor, it’s a probability.” I said as I sniffled.

“So what can I do you for, dearies?” Rarity asked.

“I have a collection of holy socks and I thought you can sew them for me?” I asked.

“Uhhh….. well….. I suppose I can do that.” Rarity said in a disgusting tone.

“Heh! I’m kidding. I just need you fix my jacket. My zipper broke off.” I said.

“Oh, no problem dear! I’ll get that done with you pronto!” Rarity said, taking my jacket. “As Celestia as my witness, I will not stand to see a friend of mine suffer the cold air from the outside world!” Rarity said dramatically, with her hoof over her head.

“Drama queen.” Spike said

“And as Luna as your witness, right? Not just Celestia?” I asked.

“I’m sorry dear. I’m just too used to saying Celestia’s name, that I keep forgetting that Luna came back.” Rarity said.

“I know, but that’s all I hear anymore! Celestia this, Celestia that! Give Luna a chance why don’t ya?” I complained.

“Calm down, mate. At least ponies aren’t afraid of her anymore.” Aqua reminded me.

“Are they, Aquaman? Are they?! Maybe they still are, and don’t even notice!” I yelled.

“Flare, for Celestia’s sake, calm down!” Spike yelled.

“See? There you go too, brah! FOR WIZARD OF FEELING’S SAKE!” I yelled.

“You don’t even say Luna’s name. You keep talking about these wizards.” Spike reminded me.

“That’s not the point! Celestia is hogging all the loyalty of her subjects all to herself! Luna needs to have a chance!” I complained.

“Flare, darling, you have to calm down about this Luna-nonsense already. Luna rules Equestria along with Celestia, they’re equals!” Rarity said.

“Well the subjects might not think so. Ponies need to say Luna’s name and I’ll find a way to fix it!” I said. So I was walking to my shop, I saw Spark Note walking by, and I threw a snowball at her.

“GAH!” Spark yelled. “Oh my Cel-

“LUNA!” I yelled. “Say Luna!”

“What in Celestia’s name is your problem, Flare?” Spark Note asked.

“Quit saying Celestia’s name! Say Luna!” I demanded.

“Look I have places to be, so please help me up.” Spark instructed me, holding up her hoof. I helped her up, and she wiped the snow off her. “Oh my Celestia!” she walked away.

“DAM!” I yelled.

“Flare! Language!” Spike said.

“No, I see a beaver dam up ahead.” I said, looking at a couple of beavers making a dam. “So forcing ponies to say Luna’s name didn’t help, I guess I’ll have to try Plan B.”

“What’s plan B?” Spike asked. Just then, I paid my friend Mynx some bits to say Luna’s name.

“4 bits! Say Luna’s name!” I demanded.

“Luna’s name!” Mynx teased.

“No, say ‘Luna’.”I instructed him.

“Luna.” Mynx said.

“Good boy!” I said, patting his head. His tongue was hanging like a dog’s, then I gave him a treat, and he wagged his tail, and he ran off.

“So you’re paying ponies to say Luna’s name?” Spike asked.

“Affirmative!” I said.

“You’re gonna go broke by the end of the week if you keep that up.” Spike said.

“Oh… didn’t think of that. Good point!” I said. “Looks like it’s time for Plan C!” Just then I was versing my friend Adventure Blade in hoof-wrestle, and I was doing my best to win, but he was beating me, but I got him in the last second.

“Ow.” Addie said calmly. “Did you have to do it that hard?”

“Now that I won, you have to say Luna’s name.” I demanded

“No.” he said.

“Yes.” I said.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Oh.” I said.

“Yeah.” He said.

“Ok.” I said.

“Alright, well see you around, Addie.” I said.

“Ok.” He said as he walked away.

“FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” I yelled in rage, and then I started going berserking, knocking over everything in my path, until I joined back with Spike.

“Looks like we’re switching to Plan E.” I said.

“What happened to Plan D?” Spike asked.

“I skipped that one, because it was too inappropriate for this kid-friendly story.” I said. “So we’re going to Plan E!” Just then, I was standing on top of a staircase with Skyblaze and I yelled; “THIS… IS…. SPARTAAAAAA!” And then I kicked him down the stairs. He started rolling down like a slinky, and not even ‘owing’. I then winded up back with Spike. “And then he said he wasn’t going to do any favors for me again after I kicked him down the stairs.” I said.

“You know, you should discuss your plan, and plan ahead before you do anything.” Spike suggested.

“But that takes effort!” I whined.

“Tell me about Plan F.” Spike requested.

“You’re too young to know about Plan F.” I said.

“How about Plan G?” Spike asked.

“I was going to banish them to Raccoon City if they don’t say Luna’s name.” I said. A cutaway shows Crescent Moon screaming for his life, because Raccoon City was full of Zombies.

“BRING IT ON, FOOLS! BRING IT ON!” Candy Cotton yelled. “I’m not afraid of you! In zombie games, the little girl always lives as long as the main character lost a daughter in the beginning of the game!” The cutaway ends.

“How about Plan H” Spike asked.

“Plan H was that I’d promise myself to eat 5 jalapeno peppers.” I said.

“Plan I?” Spike asked.

“Buy them lunch for a week.” I said.

“Plan J?” Spike asked.

“Buy them lunch for a month.” I said.

“Plan K?” Spike asked.

“Buy them ice cream for a year.” I said.

“Plan L?” Spike asked.

“LAWL!” I said.

“Plan M?” Spike asked.

“Never heard of that letter.” I said.

“Plan N?” Spike asked.

“Say YOLO many times until they’re annoyed, but I wasn’t going to do that one, because…… it’ll annoy me way before it annoys them. I hate that word. Doesn’t make you sound cool.” I said.

“Plan O?” Spike asked.

“Trick them into eating a whole Mareami heat pizza, and don’t give them water until they promise to say Luna’s name.” I said.

“Plan P?” Spike asked.

“That’s the plan I’m going in now!” I said as I danced around like I have to use the bathroom. I ran over to the TARDIS because it was right there, and I started banging on his door really loud and fast. “OPEN UP, DOCTOR! OPEN UP! I REALLY NEED TO USE THE LAVATORY!”

Doctor Whooves opens the door and says; "Yes?" But I continued slamming, thinking it was the door, unaware I was slamming on the Doctor's face. "OW! OW! STOP IT!" Doctor yells out as he pushes my hoof away. "What is it?!"

"I need to switch to Plan P!" I said as I danced around.

Doctor tilted his head. "Plan P?"

"Look at his dancing and you'll know what he means." Spike said.

"But... this isn't a porti-john." Doctor said. “Trust me, a couple of Combine machines made that mistake before.”

"YOU GOT A LAVATORY IN THERE?!" I shouted at him.

"Yes." Doctor said. "Just go up the stairs, take a left, left, left, left, another left, right, left, left, left, walk half a mile down to the room on the left, and that's it"
I just kept dancing in place in silence for a moment, and then I eventually said, "Shorter version please."

"Just go up the stairs, turn left, and you'll be there." the Doctor explained.

"Thanks!" I said running to the bathroom as fast as the roadrunner.

Spike took a look around the TARDIS and said, "Wow, this phone booth is alot bigger on the inside, just like Flare's trailer!"

"Really now?" the Doctor said. "Does he have a TARDIS too?"

"No, it's just a magical trailer. Like you have a magical phone booth." Spike said.

"Well, actually, it's not magic. It's highly advanced alien technology." the Doctor explained.

"Yes, I know you read alot of comic books, but you don't need to pretend it's all real seriously." Spike said.

"Of course it's real! It's right in front of you!" the Doctor said.

"Looks like magic to me." Spike said.

"Well, it isn't." Doctor said.

"Yeah, right. I suppose you're gonna say that aliens, dragons, and magical unicorns exist too, huh?" Spike asked sarcastically.

The Doctor was confused of a sec. "Well.... I'm an alien, you're a dragon, and Flare is a magical unicorn." Doctor explained.

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know." Spike complained. The Doctor sighed and gave himself a facehoof. A toilet flush was heard in the background, and I came walking out with a toilet paper on my shoe (just like every single time I walk out of there, really, it’s a curse of mine).

"Gee wiz, Doctor! Your toilet sure is different than the one's I'm used to!" I said.

"What do you mean? It should look like any other normal toilet." Doctor said feeling confused.

"I mean, your toilet looks like a sink!" I said.

"Flare, please don't tell me you wizzed in the sink!" Doctor hoped.

I looked back and fourth suspiciously. "What if I said I washed my hooves in a device that looked like a toilet?" I asked.

"YOU WASHED YOUR HOOVES IN THE TOILET?!" Doctor yelled.

Then I started laughing. "Gotcha, Doctor!" Then I high-hooved Spike.

The Doctor sighs in relief. "Good."

Spike was aware, so he sniffed his hand. "Pee you! Why does my hand smell bad?" Spike asked.

I started chuckling. "I got a joke! What do you call the TARDIS's bathroom?"

"What?" Spike asked.

"A TURDIS!" I said and laughed.

"I don't get it." Spike said confusingly.

“Ah yes, a TURDIS. Wasn’t the first time I heard that word.” The Doctor said. "So, what are you two up to on this fine day?"

"I keep seeing ponies around town and they keep saying Celestia's name." I explained. "Oh and I found this Chuckie Cheese token. Does this belong to you?"

"Um, no, I don't think so." Doctor said.

"What I'm saying is, Luna doesn't get the respect she deserves, you know?" I asked.

"Flare won't stop complaining about Luna not having much attention." Spike said.

"Yeah, Doctor. I won't stop complaining about Luna not having much attention- and Spike if you ever gossip about me again, I'll tie you up to a tree branch, facing down." I threatened him.

"Yes, well, I don't see why you would--" the Doctor then realized what's going on here." No...no no no no! No way! Uh uh! NO!”

"What's your problem?" I asked.

"I'm not taking you back in time so you can muck something up!" Doctor yelled at me.

"Wait, you can do that?" I asked.

Uh… no! No no, I can't!" Doctor said, with a liarjack look on his face.

"You have a time machine? AWESOME!" I shouted in excitement. "Spike, I think it's time for Plan T!"

"Plan T?" Spike asked.

"What's Plan T?" Doctor asked.

"Time travel!" I said. "We'll go back in time and stop Luna from becoming Nightmare Moon! That way she'll never be banished and everypony would love her just as much as Celestia!"

"No! No no! No way!" Doctor denied. "You can't go back and change it! It could have catastrophic events on the future!"

"But Doctor Whooves, don't you see? If I stop Luna from becoming evil, lots of tragic events won't happen! Nightmare Night would have a different theme, and best of all, no eternal night!" I explained.

"It's the Doctor; and you can't change time! It's very dangerous business!" Doctor said.

"Wait, so changing time is a business? I can make money?" I asked.

"I kinda agree with Flare on this." Spike said. "If Luna never became Nightmare Moon, nopony will have a reason to fear her."

"And more ponies will say her name!" I said.

"No! I'm not changing anything in the past!" Doctor said.

"You won't have to. IIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" I yelled in a Spartan voice as trumpets were playing in the background.

"I am NOT taking you back so you can change everything!" Doctor swore.

"Let's vote on it then." I said. "Whoever wants to go back and change time, say I."

"I!" Spike and I said at the same time.

"Whoever wants to stay here, say I." I said.

"Well that's not fair! You knew that the two of you were going to say yes!" Doctor whined.

"Life ain't fair, brah. We out voted you and this is a democratic country, so we're going!" I demanded.

"No democratic pony laws are gonna stop me." Doctor said.

"Wanna make a bet then?" I asked.

"What bet?" Doctor asked.

"If we change the past and nothing tragic happens when we come back, then you have to sing a musical number with Spike and I and enter the Mareami heat challenge!" I explained.

"Fine then, but if something catestrophic DOES happen, like I know it will, then you have to help me change everything back, AND you have to wash the TARDIS for a month!" Doctor said.

"Oh good, I thought you were going to banish me to the dinosaur age. YOUR ON!" I said with my hoof out, and then the Doctor bumped it. "Alright Doctor! Set course to 1,002 years ago!" The Doctor nods and he starts fiddling with the controls, levers, and knobs until we see the TARDIS go through a time vortex, as the Doctor Who theme was playing in the background.

"Oh, sorry, that was my ring tone." Spike said, putting his phone on vibrate.

"Are we there yet?" I asked.

"No, but we will be there in a few seconds." Doctor said.

"I thought the TURDIS was fast?" I asked.

"It is!" Doctor said. "And it's the TARDIS! We're here by the way!"

"No we're not, you liar, that was too fast!" Spike complained.

"Go outside and see for yourselves then!" Doctor said. So Spike and I walked over to the door, and Spike was about to open it, but I slapped his hand away.

"Ow!" Spike yelled.

"I'm opening it!" I demanded.

"Ok, ok, jeez!" Spike complained. I open the door, and we're in… I dunno, there’s nothing here.

“Huh? Where’s Ponyville? It’s just an opened grass land.” I said.

“Ponyville wasn’t around yet.” Spike said. “Look up in the mountains. There’s no Canterlot either.”

“Then where are the princesses?” I asked.

“Well if I know my history correctly, they’re in a village nearby also called Canterlot, but in present times, we call it Old Canterlot.” Spike explained. “Old Canterlot takes place near the Castle of the Two Sisters.”

“Isn’t that where Everfree is?” I asked.

“Everfree Forest wasn’t around yet.” Spike said. “Everfree Forest started growing some years later, but legend has it, the Everfree Forest was created by Discord himself.”

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, well, here we are! One thousand and two years into Equestria's past!”

“Looks boring.” I said.

“Well, how about we head over to Old Canterlot?” the Doctor suggested. So the three of us walked over to Old Canterlot, which wasn’t really that far.

“Old Canterlot. Looks a lot like present-day Ponyville.” Spike said.

“Well then, let’s take a look around, shall we?” the Doctor suggested.

“Of course! Let’s have some in the pa- ooo, a penny!" I said excitedly as I picked up a penny from the ground.

"Wha-Are you seriously paying more attention to a PENNY then everything else that’s happening here?” the Doctor asked.

"Look, it's heads!" I said, picking it up. "Wait!" I drop the bit back on the ground. "I shouldn've touched it."

"Why not?" Spike asked.

"I don't want to affect too much of the past. I mean even killing a butterfly will have us ended up being chased by dinosaurs when we go back to the present." I explained.

"That's just a story written by somone who's apart of a species that hasn't discovered time travel." Doctor said.

"Wanna make another bet?" I asked.

"No. You're causing enough damage already." Doctor said.

"Buh-WHAT?! We just got here!" I complained.

"No, I mean since I'm letting you change the past." Doctor said.

"Is that I dare?" I asked. "Spike, I think he just dared me!"

"No, I don't dare you." Doctor corrected me.

"Then let's get back to the task at hoof already!" I demanded.

"Right, but.... I suggest we first should take a look around, maybe learn a thing or two about the past, huh?" Doctor suggested.

"Sound good! You can never know too much about the past!" I said.

"Sounds boring." Spike said.

"Wha--BORING?!" Doctor felt insulted. "How is learning about the history of Equestria boring?"

"Twilight never stops talking about it." Spike said, rolling his eyes.

"C'mon Spike, it'll be fun!" I said cheerfully.

"No thanks, but I should try looking for the gem mine. Find the gems before other dragons do." Spike said mischievously while moving his eyes back and fourth.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, brah." I said, with my hoof on his shoulder.

"Is this about that dinosaur thing?" Spike asked, glaring at me.

"YES! Steal those gems and we'll be chased by dinosaurs in the present!" I shouted at him.

“Whatever buddy, but one thing’s for sure, I’m getting the hay outta here! Terrible things are gonna happen, my friend.” A pony random said to us.

“What terrible things, mind I ask good sir?” the Doctor asked.

“The princesses.” The pony said. “Princess Luna hasn’t been herself lately, and the whole town is getting worried. Thinks she might be possessed by Discord himself.”

“Isn’t Discord stoned right now though?” Spike asked.

“HA!” I laughed.

“He is, but… rumors say that Discord’s magic is still flowing around left over after he became frozen solid.” The pony said. “The apocalypse is upon us I tell you! We will all soon be doomed!”

“And so, there I was, getting all loaded up for the next wave, when suddenly, AMBUSH!” another pony nearby with an 1800s war outfit said. This pony was talking about some sort of war story. The Doctor was really interested, so he walked up to him.

“Excuse me, hello, I'm the Doctor, and I couldn't help but overhear you talk about some kind of war? What war is this exactly? I never thought a world literally built off of Tolerance and Friendship would ever have any wars.” Doctor asked.

“Ah yes, the Chaos Wars! It was certainly the biggest war I've ever seen! The battles between Equestria and Discord's army!” the pony said.

“Ah! Yes, I've heard of that! Hm.... so, we are at the right date in time..... brilliant, I didn't overshoot it!” The Doctor said excitedly.

“Didn't overshoot it? You tried to kill somepony?!” the pony gasped. “MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER!”

“What?!” Doctor shouted.

“MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER!” I yelled along with the war pony.

“No! I’m not a murderer! It’s a figure of speech!” The Doctor freaked out.

“What? Can’t take a joke? Sheesh! What time you from?” the war pony asked.

The Doctor was silent for a few moments, remembering his past. “It’s…. complicated.” He said.

“Heh! I like this pony! He’s got a great sense of humor!” I said.

“Well, I like it when ponies enjoy my sense of humor!” the war pony said, as he turned around. Just then, I noticed something in his mane near the back of his neck.

“Hey, what’s that?” I asked the Doctor.

“What’s what?” the Doctor asked.

“That! In his mane!” I said, pointing.

“What is it?” the Doctor asked, looking at the tattoo I was looking at.

“Is that a tattoo of a Colt .45 with fire coming out of it and the fire is shaped like a comedy mask that we see in theaters?” I asked.

The Doctor looked closely. “Looks like it. Why is it so important?” he asked me. I turned around, and lifted my mane, and the same tattoo was there! “Ah! So he must be your ancestor!”

“Maybe? He is! His name is Colonel Machine Tony Salvatore Joey Luigi Gun the first, and in his time, he was the greatest war hero comedian who ever set hoof in the battlefield!” I explained.

“Ah!” the Doctor said interested. “That’s interesting! Very interesting! But, he can’t know that you’re his great-great-great-great-great-great-“ 15 seconds later…. “Great great grandson! Too dangerous!”

“I wasn’t going to tell him in the first place.” I said.

“Tell me what?” Colonel Gun asked. “Danger’s my middle name!”

“I thought your middle name was Tony Salvatore Joey Luigi?” Spike asked.

“Uh nothing, Colonel Gun! Nothing that concerns you.” The Doctor said and then he takes out his Psychic paper. “The Doctor, official Rrpresentative of the princessess, and these are my assistances, Flare and Spike. This is higher up even for you, Colonel!” Doctor said.

“I don’t see any of you as a pegasus, so you can’t be higher up than me.” Colonel Gun teased.

“He’s right you know.” I said.

The Doctor facehooved himself, mainly because the Colonel is an ancestor of me. Of course we have the same sense of humor! It runs in the family! “Jokes aside, we have business in Canterlot. Can’t stay and chat, but it was nice meeting you!” Doctor said.

“Likewise! Go get me a sandwich before you come back.” Colonel teased and chuckled.

“He sure is a great hero.” The pony that warned us of the apocalypse said to us.

“Of course he is!” I said.

“He’s my brother in arms. Wouldn’t have it any other way.” The pony said as he smiled at my ancestor.

“Yes, of course! Colonel Machine Gun and Colonel Weed Leafhorn are a great team!” Colonel Gun said excitedly.

“You said it brother!” Weed Leafhorn said.

“WHOA!” I cried in excitement. “You two are friends?!”

“Of course we are! Pals forever!” Colonel Gun said.

“Brothers in arms until death to us part… oh… that didn’t come out right.” Weed started to laugh.

“Whoa, what a twist, Flare!” Spike said shockingly. “I guess Herb’s ancestor and your ancestor started off as friends. I did not see that coming!”

“Neither did I.” I said. “Perhaps this is a good chance to make peace. Herb never would bother me. My life in Mareami would be perfect!”

“NO!” the Doctor yelled. “It’s bad enough you’re stopping Nightmare Moon’s banishment! You cannot let those two be at peace!”

“Why not?” Spike asked.

“No he’s right. I wouldn’ve never bothered coming to Ponyville.” I said.

“So… then that means we wouldn’ve met.” Spike said. “Well… Equestria would be ok.”

“Oh yeah? Wasn’t it the Noble Six the ones that rescued the Mane Six from Chaos Mountains?” I reminded him.

“Oh… right.” Spike remembered. “I guess Herb has to be your enemy.”

“He’s not my enemy anymore. I made peace with him. He’s part of the Friendship Mafia now.” I reminded him.

“Come on, Flare!” The Doctor said bumping into somepony right after. “Oh! Terribly sorry!” The pony the Doctor ran into kinda looked like my friend Blaze Goldheart, but there was a shorter mane, and there was a scar on his eye. NOT Swinebutt’s type of scar, a different one.

“Oh, it’s quite alright, it’s my fault actually.” The pony said.

“Hey, you look just like my friend Blaze Goldheart!” I said to him.

“Well, yes, that’s my name! Captain Blaze Goldheart, but I can’t say I’ve ever met you in my life…. Hmm…. You look an awful lot like MY friend Col. Machine Gun.” Captain Blaze said.

“Oh, I’m Flare Gu-“ I was about to say, but the Doctor shook his head because it might cause paradoxes if I say my last name. “I’m Flare!”

“No surname?” Captain Blaze asked. “Hm… alright then. Well, I must be off! The princess has been having some suspensions as of late, and I need to get the my team stationed! See ya!” Blaze was about to fly off, but the Doctor stopped him.

“Wait! D’ya think you could give us access to the castle?” the Doctor asked.

“Umm… I dunno. You have an appointment with the princesses?” Blaze asked.

“Of course!” the Doctor said as he takes out his psychic paper. “I’m the Doctor, an ambassador of Maretonia, and these are my squires, Flare and Spike, and we wish to seek audience to the princesses.”

“I thought you were a representive of the princesses?” Spike asked.

“Umm… no, Spike, what made you think that?” the Doctor chuckled embarrassedly.

“Didn’t you just say-“ Spike was about to say, but then the Doctor punches him in the shoulder.

“OW! Next time somepony punches me… I’ll… I’ll PUNCH BACK!” Spike swore.

“Hmm…” Blaze looks at the Doctor’s psychic paper. “Everything seems to be in order. Ok, I’ll tell the princesses of your arrival. I’ll let you know if anything comes up. Please, feel free to look around our lovely town.”

“Thank you, Captain Goldheart!” the Doctor bowed. Captain Goldheart then flies off.

“How old is Blaze?” Spike asked.

“He’s not really the Blaze we know. This is Blaze’s ancestor, Captain Goldheart of the princesses’ military. This was before the Wonderbolts existed, and Captain Blaze was among the first of its seven members.” I explained. “This is Blaze’s ancestor. Like Colonel Gun, he was a great war hero. I still have no idea if they were friends though.”

“HEY! Watch where you’re going, moron!” Colonel Gun yelled at Captain Goldheart.

“Get out of my face, you idiot!” Captain Goldheart yelled at him.

“Hey! You can’t talk to my friend that way!” Weed Leafhorn yelled at Goldheart.

“Oh yeah? What are you going to do about that, Leafhorn?!” Captain Goldheart yelled at him.

“Well then, I guess that answers that question. This is one thing I’m not going to be telling Blaze when we get back.” I said.

“Hey Doc?” Spike asked.

“Please, I insist you call me the Doctor.” Doctor insisted.

“Ok… Doc, I was curious, what is that?” Spike pointed to his Psychic paper.

“This is the Psychic paper!” Doctor said. “With this, I can pass off as any ID or credentials we need just by thinking about it! Whatever I think about it appears on the paper!”

“Then why did it say you’re gonna lose the bet?” I asked as I took a look at his psychic paper.

“Probably because it was picking up what YOU were thinking of.” The Doctor said.

“There it goes, Doctor! The sun setting for the last time!” I said as we saw the sun going down from the distance.

“Last time? What do you mean?” Doctor asked.

“Before the big event! Remember?” I asked him.

“Ah! Yes, when Luna becomes Nightmare Moon, ah…. Yes.” Doctor nodded.

“Hey, what would you two rather do? Clean up Cranky Doodle’s bathtub or dust Twilight’s whole library?” I asked.

“Clean Twilight’s library, of course! I do that already!” Spike said.

“How about you, Whooves?” I asked.

“It’s the Doctor; and I never met this Cranky Doodle, so I can’t answer the question.” Doctor said.

“I guess you’ll pick cleaning the bathtub.” I said. “I choose the library!”

After a little while went by, Captain Goldheart flew back down to us to tell us the news. “The princesses are ready for you now, but just to let you know, I persuade caution. Princess Luna… hasn’t been herself lately.”

“It’s Discord’s magic I tell you!” Weed Leafhorn yelled.

“Leafhorn, shut your mouth!” Goldheart instructed him.

“You shut your mouth, Goldheart!” Colonel Gun demanded. “Is he not entitled to his own opinion? Get lost!”

“Whatever, c’mon, let’s go.” Goldheart instructed us.

“Well, looks like we’re right on time, huh?” the Doctor asked.

“How many times in your life have you said the word ‘time’?” Spike asked the Doctor.

“Probably an infinite number of times, but that’s not important now.” Doctor said.

“Yeah, what is important is we get chimi-changas after this!” I said. So Goldheart led us to the Castle of the Two Sisters. It does look more medieval, but it looks very clean and not in ruins.

“Wow, this place is beautiful!” Spike said impressively. “Makes it unbelievable on how it’s going to end up in the future.”

“BABABABABABABABABABABAH!” I yelled, interrupting him. “We don’t talk about the future here, unless it involves the chimi-changas we’re going to be having in the future for dinner.” As the four of us were about to walk over to the throne room, we begin to hear arguing coming from inside between the two princesses.

“Shh listen, you hear that?” the Doctor asked.

“Yeah, my stomach is growling with some chimi-changas!” Spike said in an accent. “Way to go Flare! You got me hungry!”

“Your welcome!” I said.

“No, not that! The arguing, from the throne room.” The Doctor corrected him.

“They must be arguing about what to do for dinner. I was like that with my family.” I said. A cutaway shows my old Mareami condo, my mom and I were hiding behind the couch, tip-hooving around the condo, sneaking around, wearing cameo outfits and stripes on our faces, when suddenly we get ambushed by my dad and my sister. We all start shooting eachother with our magic spells, making a mess around the condo, and I gotta say it was epic!

“APPLEBEES!” my mom and I shouted out.

“OLIVE GARDEN!” my dad and my sister shouted. We all continuing chanting and fighting until my sister was the only one left standing.

“Olive Garden it is!” Water said excitedly. The cutaway ends.

Back with Doctor, Spike, and I, we continue to hear the princesses arguing from inside.

“IT’S NOT FAIR!” Luna yelled. “PONIES SLEEP IN MY BEAUTIFUL NIGHT, AND PLAY IN YOUR PITTIFUL DAY!”

“Luna, please! Ponies do enjoy your night. They just chose to sleep during that time because it’s been that way even before we came to power.” Celestia explained, attempting to reason with her.

“No Celestia! You’re just holding me back! MOM ALWAYS LOVED YOU MORE!” Luna yelled.

“Luna… I’m going to go out and see some of our guests. I’ll be back to reason with you later. Just… calm down, and think.” Celestia advised her as she opens the throne doors and walks out. Princess Celestia walks over to us and smiles. “Well, aren’t you three a sight for soar eyes?”

“Yeah I get that a lot. Might be because of my charming good looks.” I said.

“Sight for soar eyes? Have you even met us yet?” Spike asked.

“Oh… this must be the time you returned, just like you said ten years ago.” Celestia said.

“What’s she talking about?” Spike asked the Doctor.

“I cannot say.” The Doctor said. “By the looks of things, I’m guessing we were here already, ten years ago.”

“Yes, you saved Old Canterlot from some… well… I won’t go into details. Your future is my past.” Celestia said.

“I am so confused right now.” Spike said.

“So am I, but I’m not the one complaining about it.” I informed him. “I’m just standing here quietly, just letting time take its course.”

“So you recognize us from the past, huh?” the Doctor asked. “That is fascinating. Normally my companions and I come by one time and then if we do return, we come in your future. It seems a bit… bibie-bobbly-boshkee. What it seems that Celestia is the only one that recognizes us. Nopony else from the town seems to. Wow, I’m really getting used to saying ‘everypony’ so much. Guess if you hear it a lot, you begin saying it.”

“Praise the Wizards.” Spike said.

“Nice example, Spike!” I said.

“Doesn’t mean I like it.” Spike said.

“Ah who cares? I got a little me in you, and it’s STUCK THERE! HA-HAAAAA!” I said mischievously.

“The reason the people of Old Canterlot doesn’t recognize you is that Starswirl the Bearded has erased their memories. We cannot allow the tragedy of ten years ago to be remembered by mortal pony eyes.” Celestia said.

“Mortal pony eyes… wow, Celestia sure has changed over the years.” Spike commented.

“So I guess we’re coming back here in the future. Well… our future… your past.” The Doctor said.

“Our past? We were never here.” I corrected him.

“NO! Our future, the three of us, and her, the princess’s past.” The Doctor corrected me.

“Oh so you’re saying… Celestia can… read the future.” I assumed.

“No, that’s what I… well… actually… I don’t know.” The Doctor said.

“How does Celestia know we’re coming back here in the future to assist in a tragedy?” I asked.

“Because it’s HER past!” the Doctor said.

“So it happened already.” I said.

“YES!” The Doctor said.

“How come I don’t remember it?” I asked.

“Because it’s OUR future!” the Doctor said.

“I thought you said it happened already?” I asked.

“IT DID!” the Doctor yelled angrily.

“You’re really confusing me, brah. Is this the future or the past?” I asked.

“It’s OUR futu- wait… this is all of our pasts.” The Doctor said.

“I thought you said this was our future?” I asked.

“NO! The TRAGEDY is our future.” The Doctor said.

“So once we return home, we’re going to have a tragedy?” I asked.

The Doctor sighs. “Let me explain this again. The tragedy already happened in Celestia’s point of view, but the three of us are coming back here in OUR future to assist in the tragedy.”

“So we’re coming back in the future.” I assumed.

“Yes… OUR future.” The Doctor said.

“Yeah but Celestia’s past.” I assumed.

“Yes.” The Doctor said.

“Well THAT MAKES NO SENSE!” I yelled.

“Look… time is complicated, Flare.” the Doctor said. “It’s just a big ball of-“

“Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff?” I asked.

“Yes, exactly.” The Doctor said.

“Well now that you put it that way, it makes a bit more sense. Still don’t get it 100% though.” I said.

“Last time you said you were here, you said to expect us again ten years later, and you were right.” Celestia said. “And Flare Gun, you also said, if those who wield the Elements of Harmony ever get kidnapped by something made of technology, I am told to come to the ‘Noble Six’ so you call it.”

“So THAT’S why you asked the Noble Six to rescue the Mane Six from disaster!” Spike said. “I had the feeling it was a little suspicious that the princesses would suddenly ask for you to rescue those who wield the Elements of Harmony. It finally makes sense.”

“I thought Luna would’ve suggested?” I asked. “OH CRUD! Luna!”

“Oh… thought you would’ve forgotten.” The Doctor mumbled to himself.

“Celestia, may I see Luna real quick?” I asked.

“Well I know you and Spike do make interesting entertainment. You did stall the… well… the last tragedy a bit. Maybe you can be useful in this situation.” Celestia assumed. “Very well. Princess Luna is going through a trauma right now. I have no idea why though. The ponies assume that it’s Discord’s magic, but he’s been locked away for months now, and not even his magic can escape his stoned prison.”

“Wow… we were here even before Discord was in prison.” Spike said.

“May we try to reason with her?” I asked.

“I tried my best, but she wouldn’t listen to me.” Celestia said.

“The Doctor here is VERY reasonable! Perhaps he can do something!” I suggested.

“No, this is your tragedy you’re going to create, Flare. I will not be responsible for YOUR mess.” The Doctor said.

“Alright who needs you? Spike and I can do it, right?” I asked as I elbowed Spike.

“Huh? I wasn’t listening.” Spike said.

“Proceed inside, but I urge you caution.” Celestia warned us. So Celestia, Doctor, Spike, and I all stepped into the throne room.

“Not another step!” Luna said to us as the four of us all stopped.

“Hi Luna!” I said.

“Flare Gun…. Spike… Doctor… our noble heroes of the past.” Luna said. “Please take our sincere apologies, but my sister and I have a bit of a disagreement to work out.”

“Which is why we’re here.” Spike said.

“Yes, these three… or these two… would like to assist you in your short-tempered trauma.” Celestia said.

“Oh… so it was YOU that sent them!” Luna yelled as her eyes glowed. “Well… do you think I’d stand oddly by when they all vast in your precious light?!”

“No, Luna, Celestia did not send us. In fact, she was just about to leave.” I said.

“Excuse me?” Celestia asked curiously.

“Shhh! She’ll calm down if you’re not here.” I whispered to her.

“Oh… very well then. I’ll leave you to your expertise.” Celestia said as she walked out of the throne room.

“HA! Expertise. That’s a laugh.” The Doctor laughed sarcastically.

“Don’t be a jerk, Doc.” I instructed him. I then looked over at Luna and said, “Luna, before you do anything you would regret, I need to talk to you about something.”

“But Flare Gun, don’t you see? There could only be ONE princess in Equestria!” Luna yelled.

“Actually, that’s where you’re wrong. Let me teach you a little something.” I said. After many hours of talking, Luna stepped out of the throne room in surprise. “Really, now? I never would’ve thought that. Well… that changes everything!” The dark magic that processed Luna has escaped her body and started crawling around the walls. “I have to apologize to my sister. I have given her so much grief. Thank you, Flare Gun. I appreciate that lecture. You truly stopped me from making a big mistake. Well done.”

“See? I told you I could do it!” I said to Spike and Doctor.

“I am still afraid of what the future may hold.” The Doctor said.

“I didn’t really get most of that though. What were you talking to her about?” Spike asked me.

“Democracy, my friend. Ruling an empire is stressful work to do yourself, so I taught Princess Luna democracy.” I said.

“Well, I have to say, it worked. Nightmare Moon never existed now.” Spike said. “She’ll never have been banished to the moon, and will now rule along side Celestia from now until the end of time.”

“But what you forget is to fear the consequences your actions have created.” The Doctor said.

“I strongly doubt we’ll be getting chased by dinosaurs, alright? Now how about we head on home, huh? I could use that chimmy-changa!” I said.

“How about fajitas instead?” Spike suggested.

“Nah I had that last week.” I said.

“What’s going on, brothers?” Colonel Gun asked us.

“I just solved the conflict between two sisters!” I said.

“I thought there was a fight going on though?” Captain Goldheart asked.

“Well you thought wrong it seems.” Colonel Gun said, sticking his tongue out at Goldheart.

“No thanks, I use toilet paper.” Goldheart teased.

“What in the living Luna are you talking about? What sort of contraption is called ‘toilet paper’?” Colonel Gun asked.

“Well, we did it. Somepony is finally saying Luna’s name. Looks like our work here is done!” I said excitedly.

Well then, we should get back.” Doctor said.

“Back where?” I asked with a smile on my face.

“Back home.” The Doctor said.

“Awww.” I whined. “You ruined it! I wanted you to say ‘back to the future’.”

“Well, we can’t always get what we want, can we, Flare Gun? Now that our future may seize to exist. How stubborn how you?” the Doctor asked.

“Whatever you say, brah. You can say whatever you want after we return home and I win my betting reward! Meh-heh-heh-heeeeh.” I said mischievously. So the three of us exited the castle and walked back into the TARDIS and entered it.

“Besides, when we get home and everything looks screwed up, undoing this should be as easy as a Sunday afternoon!” Spike said.

“Never heard of a video game like that.” I said.

“You think life is all about video games, don’t you, Flare?” Spike asked.

“I learned a lot from games, such as defending myself, knowing how to talk my way out of trouble, plus look at look handsomey mark.” I said as I pointed to my cutie mark.

“Handsomey mark?” Spike asked.

“It’s like a cutie mark, except I’m a guy.” I explained.

“I still have no idea why you’re so calm about this.” The Doctor said worringly as he started up the TARDIS. “Because of you, the entire UNIVERSE could be in jeopardy!” I started humming the Jeopardy game show theme song to myself. “ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!” he yelled as he shook me.

“DON’T TOUCH MY VEST!” I yelled at him. “And I did listen! Didn’t you hear me humming the Jeopardy theme song? So what if the Universe enters a game show? Big whoop!”

“Here! I’ll show you then!” the Doctor said as the TARDIS shuts down. “We’re here. Open the door.”

“Right now?” I asked.

“Yes, right now.” the Doctor said.

So Spike and I walked over to the TARDIS door and were about to open it. When Spike almost grabs the handle to open the door, I stopped him. “Wait.”

“Don’t worry, you can open it.” Spike offered.

“No… it’s not that. Well now that you think about it, it just became that.” I said.

“What’s wrong then?” Spike asked.

“Yes, Flare? A little nervous about losing that bet?” the Doctor asked mischievously.

“Look Equestria should be out there. We’re still here, aren’t we?” I asked.

“The TARDIS has a failsafe featured to anyone who rides on it. In case of a possible paradox, your existence remains intact… unfortunately.”

“Well I don’t see why there would be two doctors here.” I teased. “Now then… let’s take a look outside. I’ll show you that there are no dinosaurs out there.” So I slowly reached my hoof over to the TARDIS door and was just about to open it, but I stopped myself and asked the Doctor, “Hey Doc?”

“DOCTOR!” he reminded me.

“That’s my not name, but ok.” I shrugged. “Didn’t you used to have an electronic door on the interior of the TARDIS that slides open from the inside, but outside it’s an actual phone booth door?”

“Yeah.” The Doctor said.

“What happened to it? Now it’s just a phone booth door on both sides, plus I didn’t think it was possible to have a door that looks different from two sides.” I thought.

“Are you going to look outside or not?!” the Doctor complained.

“Don’t rush me!” I yelled.

“Well Charlie did need to rush home after winning the golden ticket.” The Doctor said.

A cutaway shows Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original, not the remake) running home from the candy store after he wins the last golden ticket. “I’ve got one!” he cried. “I’ve got a golden ticket!”

“Hey, I’ve got one too, kid!” a homeless bum said excitedly as he starts reading the ticket to him, “Indecent exposure… hmm… I guess that means I’m going to the chocolate factory then.” The cutaway ends.

So I decided not to stall anymore, so I opened the door and then I stepped outside. “Well… I certainly didn’t expect this.” Spike said.

“I did!” I said.

“What? What is it?” the Doctor asked, peeking outside.

“Nothing’s changed! I guess I win this round! Ponyville still looks exactly the same!” I said. “Oh, and not a single dinosaur! Looks like somepony owes us a musical number!” Just then, some swinging music starts playing in the background as top hats and canes get thrown at the three of us. Spike and I catch them, but the Doctor doesn’t.

“Ow!” he yelled as the cane the hit his nose, and then Spike and I began to sing.

“Bro-hoof here, bro-hoof…” we started, but then the Doctor interrupts us.

“Just hold on there, Flare.” the Doctor stopped me, and then he suddenly begins to chuckle. “Wow that sounds really clever. There Flare. Very interesting words to say together.”

“What’s wrong, brah?” I asked.

“Something doesn’t seem to be quite right.” The Doctor said.

“I dunno why you’d think that. This is Ponyville.” I said. “I mean look - there’s Derpy, still clumsy. Bon Bon and Lyra are close; and hey there’s Psyche!”

“He doesn’t look the same as he usually does.” Doctor said.

“He looks the same to me.” I said. “Same flank tattoo, same looks, I should go over there and slap him in the face.” I walk on over to him and said, “Hey, Psyche! What’s up, brah? Actually, no need, shut your mouth.”

“Huh? How do you know who I am?” Psyche asked.

“It’s me, Flare!” I said.

“Flare? Flare who?” Psyche asked.

“Just the Flare!” I said in the Doctor’s accent. The Doctor then glared at me.

“Uh huh. Well, if you need anything. Feel free to come to my library later.” Psyche offered.

“Library? When did you learn to read?” I teased him.

“Uhh…. I always did.” He said confusingly.

“Well, where is this little library of yours?” I asked him sarcastically.

“It’s over there, in that tree!” Psyche said, pointing to Twilight’s house.

“HA! Very funny, brah! That’s Twilight’s library!” I laughed.

“No, that’s my library.” Psyche corrected me. “Whoever this ‘Twilight’ is, I guess she owned it before I. Well I got things to do, so I’ll see you later!” Psyche started walking over to the library.

“Well, if Twilight’s not living there? Where is she?” Doctor asked.

“Ok, so Psyche doesn’t know me, and Twilight lives somewhere else! Big whoop!” I said, not caring.

“Big whoop?! Where’s Twilight?! Where do I live?!” Spike yelled.

“Flare, don’t you see?! You altered two pony’s lives!” Doctor shouted, accidentally hitting somepony. “Oh! Terribly sorry!” That pony he knocked into looked like Blaze Goldheart, the one I knew, but he looks really sad, and he’s not wearing his Wonderbolt suit.

“Hey Blaze!” I said to him.

“What? You wanna make fun of me too?” Blaze asked in a depressed done.
“Nah, not really- Hey look your zipper is down!” I said, pointing to where his zipper is supposed to be, but the funny thing is…. He doesn’t wear pants!

“Just… leave me alone!” Blaze said and started to walk away.

“Hey whoa, buddy! What’s your problem?” I asked, holding his shoulder.

“I’m not your buddy!” Blaze pushes my hoof away, and flies away.

“Oh…. Oh, I think I know what just happened.” Doctor said.

“I’M NOT YOUR GUY, FRIEND!” I yelled out.

“Flare! Do you know what happened?” Doctor asked.

“Blaze didn’t say ‘guy’ after he said, ‘I’m not your buddy’?” I guessed.

“No! We changed his timeline! His ancestor, Captain Blaze Goldheart!” the Doctor said.

“What?” I asked.

“You see, when you stopped Nightmare Moon for coming, Luna was never banished, and Celestia didn’t have the need to create the EUP royal guard or the Wonderbolts. They never existed, which means Blaze’s entire timeline has changed.”

“What about me? Are we still friends?” I asked nervously.

“He never met you because he went into hiding to escape the ridicule.” Doctor explained. “Why he’s here, I cannot say.”

“Well since you decided to be so friendly to me, you want to buy a corndog?” Blaze asked me with an attitude.

“Sure!” I said excitedly as I was about to take the corndog.

“FLARE!” the Doctor yelled, stopping me from taking the corndog.

“What?!” I yelled.

“See?! That’s something else in the timeline you changed! Ponies don’t eat meat!” the Doctor said as he takes the corndog and throws it on the floor.

“That’ll be 4 bits.” Blaze said.

“Oh calm down, nopony’s gonna eat that garbage.” The Doctor corrected him.

“Excuse me, but THIS is a popular treat! I need to support myself somehow! I’m all alone with no friends and no wife, no home, I’m a draconian for crying out loud I’m a freak!” Blaze yelled.

“Do you have phoenix powers though?” I asked.

“Pffft! I wish. I’d turn this whole town upside down if I wanted to!” Blaze complained as he flew away.

“Well…. It looks like there’s one thing left to do. See if I still have a job!” I said. I ran away to see if my shop was still around.

“Twilight! Where is she?” Spike asked.

“She may still be living in Canterlot. If my calculations are correct, in this universe, she never moved to Ponyville.” Doctor explained.

“We have to see how everypony is doing! If Blaze is alone, what about Rainbow Dash? What about Rarity? What about the Elements of Harmony?” Spike asked.

“We’ll have to find out.” Doctor said.

“Let’s go after Flare first. Do you think he’s going to find his shop?” Spike asked. Spike and the Doctor start running after me. I’m standing right in front of where my shop used to be.

“My shop….” I said sadly. We looked at it, and it says; ‘Boorlie’s Pizza Parlor’. “Boorlie…”

My friends (or I dunno what they are now) Spark Note and Mynx start walking out of the shop.

“Best pizza in all of Equestria!” Mynx said.

“I’ll say!” Spark agreed. I used my magic to take one of the slices out of the box Mynx was carrying, I took a bite of it and gasped. Spike also takes a taste.

“This is your recipe!” Spike gasped.

“Yeah…. But in the wrong hooves.” I said.

“Oh Celestia, what are we gonna do?” Spike asked. “Where’s Twilight and the other’s?”

“I say we should go to Sweet Apples. They’re more likely to be around than anypony else.” I suggested. So we all agreed and we went over to Sweet Apple Acres, but as we were walking, we heard a noise coming from the bushes near us.

“Wha-what was that?” Spike asked.

“What do you mean what was that? I have more important things to do than listen to bushes more!” I said.

“Oh yeah? What’s more important?” Spike asked.

“NOT hearing the bushes more.” I answered. We then heard the bushes move again.

“No, it could be suspicious.” The Doctor said, scanning the bushes with his sonic screwdriver.

“EXTERMINATE!” a voice cried out.

“W-WHAT?!” The Doctor yelled.

“EXTERMINATE!” a voice yelled out again.

“NO! IT CAN’T BE! DALEKS! THEY FOLLOWED ME HERE!” The Doctor cried out. The Doctor jumps into the bushes, about to attack, but Fluttershy ends up popping out, startled.

“Eep!” Fluttershy cried out, hiding in a tree.

“Oh… Fluttershy? If she was in the bushes, then who was making the noise?” the Doctor asked.

“EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” The Doctor turns around and sees me yelling in a plastic cup.

“FLARE! DO YOU REALIZE THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION?!” The Doctor yelled at me.

“Yeah, gravity is a fundamental force of the universe and is considered a noncontact force. It is what holds the planets in orbit as well as the very universe itself, keeping us from floating off into space, and plays a crucial role in almost every nature process from the ocean tides to the body's circulatory system.” I explained.

“No!” the Doctor said and sighed. “I mean, yes, but what I mean is, we could’ve asked her about where the others were, and you scared her away!”

“No, you scared her away! You jumped in the bushes!” I corrected him.

“You were impersonating a Dalek!” the Doctor said.

“Yes I did, but I wasn't the one who scared Fluttershy. I was the one who scared you. You were the one who scared Fluttershy.” I explained.

“And I didn’t scare a thing!” Spike added.

The Doctor sighed again. “Let’s find her.”

“Find her? She’s right over there!” I said, pointing to a tail that’s hanging out some bushes.

The Doctor clears his throat. “Miss Fluttershy?”

“Hold on Doctor! She might not know you. She’s a shy one. She has no problems with non-pony folk though, I’ll talk to her.” Spike suggested.

“But Spike?” I asked.

“Shush! Look away!” Spike turned to the bushes and said.

“But Spike?” I repeated.

“Look away! Both of you!” Spike ordered us.

“Sigh.” I said as I turned around – every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming around.

“Spike, wouldn’t the same apply to you?” Doctor asked.

“No, because when Fluttershy first met me, she wasn’t shy at all, since I’m technically an ‘animal’ to her.” Spike said.

“Oh, alright then.” The Doctor said.

“Hey Fluttershy! Look! A baby dragon!” Spike called out, jumping up and down. “Flutters? Fluttershy?” Spike stopped hoping around and he started tangling on her tail, but all the sudden, the tail started hissing like a snake. That’s because it was a snake! “AAAAAH! SNAKE! SNAKE!” Spike started screaming and running around as the snake that looked like Fluttershy’s tail started chasing him around.

“I was just about to say that wasn’t Fluttershy. THAT’S Fluttershy.” I teased, pointing to her on a tree branch. The Doctor clears his throat.

“Afternoon, Miss Fluttershy! I am the Doctor! May we ask you a few questions?” he asked. Fluttershy hides her face using another tree branch.

“It’s no use reasoning with her, brah. It’s like she never seen an actual pony before.” I said to him. In the background, Spike was still being chased by the snake.

“Believe me, I have my ways.” The Doctor said to me and then he turned to her. “Excuse me? Sorry to bother you, but we’d like to know why you’re hiding.” Fluttershy quickly flies on top of the tree, avoiding us even more.

“Doctor, stop! You’re scaring her! You clearly don’t know Fluttershy that well, do you?” I asked.

“You’d be surprised. She was one of my companions at one point. Just let me talk to her.” Doctor said.

“At ONE POINT!” I said. “She might not know who are now!” Just like that, I shot a laser blast at the snake chasing Spike, and then the snake gets scared and slivers away, and Spike feels relieved.

“Exactly! I’m just using the same trick I did when I first met her.” Doctor said.

“I say we should see AppleJack. She might know more of what’s going on. She’ll be easier to attract.” I suggested. “Trust me, if there’s anypony that’d still live in Ponyville, its AppleJack!” So we walk over to Sweet Apple Acres, but something doesn’t seem quite right. All the apples on the trees are pears, but we don’t notice it at first. The Doctor notices it when we walk 200 feet inside.

“Ugh, pears! What happened to all the apples?” Doctor asked.

“What’s the difference between apples and pears? They’re similar fruit.” Spike said. “Like oranges and tangerines, and peaches and nectarines.”

“Pears…. Are disgusting…. And there should be apples here! WHY AREN’T THERE ANY APPLES?!” the Doctor shouted.

“Alright Doctor, I know of a great way to start fixing this.” I said as I turned to him.

“And how is that?” Doctor asked.

“STOP YELLING!” I yelled at him and I started walking again until we reached the farmhouse, and we knocked on the door.

AppleJack opened the door and said; “Howdy! What can ah do for ya’ll?” she asked.

“Hello, AppleJack! Tell me, why are there pears on the trees? Aren’t there usually apples?” Doctor asked.

“AppleJack? Naw, ya got me wrong. Mah name is PearJack.” PearJack said.

“PearJack?! But how? Your family farmed apples in the past!” Doctor said.

PearJack sighed and shook her head. “But that was a loooong time ago, before the dark times. Please, come in.” The three of us walked inside and observed around the farmhouse.

“I bet this place is heaven to you, Doctor!” Spike teased.

“Just be quiet, Spike.” The Doctor instructed him.

“Ya see, Apples are a sign of evil, so we heard. Our family stopped with the apples and started harvesting pears. They’re just like apples.” PearJack said.

“Wow, never thought I’d hear her say that.” Spike said.

“But that’s preposterous! How can apples be a sign of evil?” Doctor asked.

“It was because of apples the rebellion started.” PearJack said.

“Apples? Wait…. Rebellion?” Doctor asked.

“Yes. Ah can’t explain it though. Mah brother Big Pinhead is in the war. Ah just can’t harvest pears without him.” PearJack explained.

“And ah can’t get mah cutie mark without him!” Pear Bloom complained. “Without mah family, ah’m alone! We got no friends!”

“So, you two don’t have any friends?” Doctor asked.

“Not really. Friendship is dead these days. That's what they all say.” PearJack said. “The only reason Canterlot here is protected right now is because of the princess’s magics. They’re taking turns powering the force field that’s protecting this here town.”

“Now hold on a second there, did you say Canterlot?” Doctor asked.

“Ah recon ah did. This is Canterlot, isn’t it? It’s where the Castle of the Two Sisters are.” PearJack said.

“Ooooooh yeah, I get it.” the Doctor nodded. “Since Nightmare Moon never came, Celestia and she never fought inside the castle and the castle never became in ruins.”

“Ah’m not sure what y’all are talkin’, but the princesses have to protect Ponyville from the great chaotic war outside; plus it stops the Everfree Forest trees from growin’.” PearJack said. “Legend says that those trees are pretty darn dangerous. Created by Discord himself. After he escaped his stone prison he started creating havoc around Equestria, and since the Elements of Harmony even couldn’t stop him, we have no choice but to protect ourselves until scientists can actually make somethin’ that’ll work against him.”

“Wait… the Elements of Harmony didn’t work?” Spike asked.

“The princesses can’t control the elements as much as they used to, and after they failed against Discord, they were stolen.” PearJack said. “Half of Equestria teamed up Discord which is making defeating him even harder.”

“A war…?” I asked.

“Eeyup.” PearJack said.

“Admit that you messed up, Flare?” the Doctor asked.

“I don’t care, as long as Luna is loved!” I said.

“Bad news though. The princesses are incredibily overworked. They’re gettin’ tired and weak. Ah’m not sure how long they have.”

“Does that include Luna?” I asked.

“And Celestia.” PearJack said.

“But Luna right?” I asked.

“Yeah and Celestia.” PearJack said.

“But Luna though right?” I asked.

“Umm… yeah ah just said that.” PearJack said.

“NO!” I yelled. “Ok I admit, I messed up big time!”

“Well you finally see that.” The Doctor nodded.

“Where’s Twilight? She’ll know everything!” Spike said. Just then, an explosion was heard in the background.

“What was that?!” Doctor yelled. The Doctor ran outside and saw the blue sky is turning orange and brown.

“Ah knew this day would come. The princesses are done for. They’re over exhausted.” PearJack said. “It was only a matter of time.”

“Well, it was great meeting you, AppleJack, but I must go! I’m clearly needed!” the Doctor said, running off.

“It’s PearJack!” PearJack yelled.

He doesn't want us to call him Whooves and now he calls you by your wrong name.” I complained to PearJack. “Anyways, you know where I can find something to eat?”

“Ya'll should try Taco Shack.” PearJack suggested.

“OH GOOD! Taco Shack is still around! C'mon Spike! Let's head to Taco Shack!” I recommended. Spike and I run over to Taco Shack as the Doctor runs over to the source of the explosion, which is in town square, relatively close to the Castle of the Two Sisters.

“HEY! Get out of the way!” Rainbow Dash yelled, wearing some sort of armor, and she flies over to the square.

“Huh? Oh, Rainbow Dash!” Doctor said. Rainbow then starts screaming in anger and flies offfast.

“IT’S HER!” Rainbow yelled.

“Who?” the Doctor asked. Just then, another explosion hits a nearby cottage and descending from the sky was a unicorn in a robotic suit.

“Fearsome mortals, feel my wrath!” the unicorn yelled in a female robotic-like voice. The unicorn started firing rapidly around the town. The townfolk began to run to shelter as the unicorn was destroying everything she sees.

“GREAT SCOTT!” the Doctor yelled, but then he started to complain, “Wow… I would’ve NEVER thought I’d say that!”

“Oh figgle-fingle!” Crystal said shockingly.

“Zis is unacceptable!” the Red Medic from TF2 yelled.

“Wow… Flare didn’t just mess up this world. He messed up his friends.” The Doctor said.

“GIMMIE YOUR MONEY!” Aqua yelled as he whacked the Doctor in the head with a baseball bat.

“OW!” the Doctor yelled as he rubbed his head. “I mean REALLY messed up his friends! Aqua here no longer says ‘ya’. I think it’s time that I fixed this, but first I’ll rub my bet winnings in Flare’s face.” The Doctor said mischievously. Just then, the unicorn blasts her magic towards the Doctor but misses him; although, he does get startled a bit after that.

“Bow down for Discord’s chaotic movement!” the unicorn demanded.

“Now, now, if we could talk this out, I’m sure there’ll be a liable solution to it all.” The Doctor suggested.

“I don’t talk, I only feed upon your hate!” the unicorn said as she removes her mask and it was revealed to be Twilight Sparkle.

“Whoa, Twilight! What has happened to you?” the Doctor asked fearfully.

“I have seen the light, and Discord is it. Your precious princesses shall fall!” Twilight said mischievously.

“But you’re a powerful unicorn.” The Doctor pointed out. “How can you be a powerful unicorn and still go against your mentor Celestia?”

“Princess Celestia? My mentor? HA! Yeah maybe in a parallel universe but not here! King Sombra is my mentor!” Twilight said as her eyes began to glow green.

“Ooooh… since you never met your friends, you never went to the Crystal Empire to defeat Sombra. Oh how shameful.” The Doctor shook his head upsettingly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, yet I don’t care.” Twilight said.

“I have to find Spike and Flare!” the Doctor said nervously.

“Actually…. Maybe a change of plans. You look tired. You could use a NAP!” Twilight yelled as she blasts the Doctor with her magic and he collapses on the floor and passes out. “Ehh… close enough.” Twilight shrugged as she laughed evilly and then flew off. Yeah she has jet rockets on her robotic suit.

The Doctor wakes up a couple of hours later on a hospital bed. Once he regains his senses, he yells nervousl, “Oh no…. this is not good!” The Doctor tries to get up, but Pinkie comes by and stops him.

“Stop! You need to stay where you are!” she advised him, laying him back down. Pinkie was wearing a nurse outfit and her mane is straight.

“No, Pinkie, you don’t understand! I need to go.” Doctor said.

“Pinkie? No, my name is Nurse Pinkamenia.” Pinkie said. “You’re too injured! You need your rest!”

“I’ve been through worse, I’ll be fine! I need to find my friends and fix all this!” Doctor said. “I also have to stop Twilight from destroying everything.”

“Twilight is unstoppable. She became King Sombra’s apprentice. Trust me, you don’t know what she’s capable of. Do you know anything about the civil war?” Pinkie asked.

“Well, I can find out what she's capable of....and no, I don't know about the civil war. Please, Pinkamena; charming Pinkamena, funny Pinkamena... tell me all about the civil war.”

Err, I don't know how I'm funny, but I'll tell you about it.” Pinkie said. “It all started under a thousand years ago. Everfree trees began to grow around Canterlot, and the princesses had to protect the village from their wrath, but since they were so busy trying to stop the trees, the rest of Equestria became in jeopardy after many enemy forces attacked. Changelings, griffins, you name it. Started a chaotic war that nearly destroyed half of Equestria. If only there were royal guards to help protect Equestria, but nope. Once Discord and King Sombra came to power, we’re nearing the end. Canterlot’s defenses have been broken. It’s only a matter of time before they reach the exhausted princesses, thus ending Equestria for good.”

“Flare, you idiot! It seems now all we can do is go back and right the wrong things in the past!” Doctor said to himself, and then he looked at Pinkie and chuckled. “Oh! Listen to me rambling about subjects that are pointless to you, I really should be going.” The Doctor gets up, and starts walking out.

“I hope you can make it across the street, under your condition.” Pinkie warned him. The Doctor looks around to find Spike and I. He finds Spike across the street over at Taco Shack, eating a taco. The Doctor runs inside and sits with him.

“Spike! Where’s Flare? He needs to hear what he caused!” Doctor requested.

“Flare already knows.” Spike corrected him.

“What? But…. How?” Doctor asked.

“He was reading the newspaper, and then he started freaking out and he ran away.” Spike explained.

“I tried to tell him! We need to find him before he causes even more trouble!” Doctor said.

“Listen to yourself Doctor! This is why he's upset! You always think he's causing trouble! I know he did cause trouble, but it's not entirely his fault!” Spike said.

“We don’t even need to find him! We can just go back and stop him from changing the past!” Doctor explained.

“But Flare only did this to help Princess Luna. He didn't know about any of this. I know he shouldn've skipped to conclusions, but.... you can't just leave him here. He's our friend. If he can break time, he can fix it too. Trust me; we can't do this without him.” Spike explained.

“Technically, we won’t be leaving him here. If I went back and stopped him from changing the past, he’ll have no memory of it. He’ll be like he was before.” Doctor explained.

“Do you want Flare to learn his lesson or not?” Spike asked. “If he has no memory, he’ll just do it again.”

“But… Spike?” Doctor asked.

“Look, if you’re leaving him here, then I’m not going with you either.” Spike said as he pushes his food away. “You may be a timelord, and very smart, but you know next to nothing about friendship. You’re abandoning a friend Doctor.” Spike gets up from his seat and starts walking outside, but he comes back again to grab his taco, and he walks back outside again.

The Doctor started thinking to himself, and then he knew exactly what to do. He runs up to Spike and says, “Wait!” he places his hoof on Spike’s shoulder. “You know me. I never abandon anyone.” The Doctor smiles at Spike and he smiles at him back.

“That’s the spirit, Doctor!” Spike said excitedly.

“Now, if I remember correctly, Flare should be at his trailer. That’s where he usually goes when he feels emotionally distraught. We can find him, and convince him to come back with us.” The Doctor assumed.

“I don’t think so. Flare never moved to Ponyville; it says so on the newspaper. But when Flare is upset, I know of one place he’ll go. Follow me!” Spike instructed him. The Doctor and Spike walk along to the edge of Canterlot and through the Everfree Forest, there I was, laying down on a cliff edge facing where Ponyville is supposed to be. I just sat there and sadly watched the sun set, and smell the stench of burning buildings in the distance. I felt so bad. Out of all the times I messed up, this one has got to be the worse! Actually… second worse. Befriending Swinebutt is my worse mistake, believe you me on that. Believe you me, what kind of phrase is that? Does that mean believe yourself and myself? I shouldn’t say phrases that are totally confusing.

“What have I done?” I asked myself. “I shouldn’ve never had this idea in the first place. All I wanted was Luna’s name to be said by everypony, but now….. I caused this.” I started beating myself up. “I am such an idiot! Stupid Flare, and his stupid idiotic ways!” I stood up from where I was laying and I started screaming. I screamed just as loud as when I play I Am Bread; such a stressful game that is. Sound like Yoda I do.

“It’s alright, Flare.” The Doctor said walking towards me. “We can go back, we can fix everything.”

“Why? All I do is mess everything up! Look, I even became a dictator! That’s how stupid I am!” I said.

“Wait, you’re a dictator?” Doctor asked. I show him a newspaper showing me in the cover, and it says; ‘Crimson Flare Gun, dictator of Mareami, sentences all that’s treated him like trash to the tickler for an endless days of tickle’.

“Oh that’s bad.” The Doctor said.

“RAAAAAAAAH!” I screamed. “BURGLE-FRUGLE… BUNGLE… GARGA…. PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!”

“Hey, c’mon!” the Doctor attempted to cheer me up, holding my shoulder. “Flare, here you have an opportunity to redeem yourself! Take it! If you come with me to fix everything, this will have never happened.”

Just then, I sat there in silence for a few seconds with a blank expression on my face, but then I finally said; “You really think I should help you fix it? That’s the best idea you have?”

“Yes. Knowing you, your past self won’t listen to me. So who is better to listen to than himself?” Doctor asked and chuckled.

“He’ll listen to Spike.” I said.

“And you! He’ll listen to you as well!” Doctor added.

“You don’t know that!” I reminded him.

“But isn’t it worth a try? Do we have any other choice?” Spike asked.

I nod. “You’re right, brah! Let’s undo this! We’re going to save Equestria!”

Just then, the three of us all approached a churros stand over at Old Canterlot to get some churros. “After a little snack. I haven’t eaten since we left Ponyville the first time!”

“For sure!” Spike agreed. “This will hold me over until the chimi-changas later.”

“Actually, I don’t crave chimi-changas anymore. Now I crave French onion soup with crotons in it.” I corrected him.

After our snack break, the three of us headed over to the TARDIS at Town Square, but before we could go, Twilight was standing there right in front of it. Lots of soldiers were lying down on the ground. Rainbow Dash starts flying around, trying to confuse her, but Twilight has brilliant aim and is able to take her down and freeze her,

“WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT SHRIMP?!” Twilight shouted at Fluttershy. Fluttershy got scared and ran away. “ANYPONY ELSE WANNA TAKE ME ON?! HUH?! I TOOK ON CELESTIA! I CAN TAKE YOU ALL TOO!’

“Let me handle this.” The Doctor said to us. He clears his throat and started walking over to her. “Hello!” But before Twilight looks in our direction, I block his mouth and pull him behind the destroy Celestia statue that Twilight blasted before we came.
“SHHHH! And you say I never listen!” I whispered to the Doctor.

The Doctor pushes my hoof off of him. “Flare, I can handle this!”

“No, not by yourself you can’t!” I warned him. “These pony folk keep saying how great powerful Trixie- I mean Twilight is. You don’t know what she’s capable of!” Big Mac tries to go berserk on her, but Twilight freezes him before he has the chance.

“Flare, trust me! I’m the only one she will listen to, and I’ve battled stronger beings and won, you know that!” the Doctor reminded me.

“If she doesn’t listen to Celestia, why would she listen to you?” I asked.

“I actually got a better idea! Flare and I will distract Twilight while you sneak into the TARDIS and get it running.” Spike suggested.

“But, it’s just….” The Doctor turns around looks into Twilight’s eyes. “There’s still good in her, I know it!”

“Well, either way, you got outvoted again, Doc! I wanna go with Spike’s plan!” I said excitedly.

“Nice!” Spike cheered as he hoof-bumped me.

The Doctor sighed. “Fine. What is your little distraction?” A couple of minutes later, we got prepared with our plan.

“On my mark! You know the plan, Flare?” Spike asked.

“I sure do!” I said.

“You ready, Whooves?” Spike asked.

“It’s the Docto-“ the Doctor corrected Spike.

“It’s the Doctor, we know!” I interrupted him.

“Alright! Let’s do this!” Spike said. Spike and I walked over in front of Twilight wearing top hats and canes and the Doctor annoyingly sneaks over towards the TARDIS. Music starts playing in the background and Spike and I started singing a parody of Mary-Ol Land of Oz, and dance to our words:

“High-hoof here….” I sang.

“Low-hoof there…..” Spike sang.

“And a couple of broly hugs!” we sang. “That’s how we get along so well, if you become a friend of ours!”

“On a boat or in a car….” I started.

“I’ll stick to you like a scar!” Spike continued.

“That’s how your ugly will be masked, if you become a friend of ours!” I sang.

“We can play and sing and giving great adviiiiiiiice!” Spike sang.

“Can you even get your scales to match my eyes?” I asked.

“Uh huh!” Spike said.

“That’ll be nice!” I said. “Lawl lawl here, G-G there….”

“And a couple of cider bars!” Spike sang.

“That’s how we’ll really waste our time if you become a friend of ours!” we both sang.

Tubas, drums, and other instruments play in the background as Spike and I start preforming Gene Kelly-like dances, and Twilight is quite impressed. “I dunno how, but I find this quite entertaining!” she said.

“Oh we haven’t even gotten started yet!” I said as we continued the song. “Chip chip here, dale dale there….

“And a little bit whack-a-mole!” Spike sang.

“That’s how we commit animal violence, if you become a friend of ours!” we both sang.

“Zip-zip here….” Spike sang.

“Zip-zip there….” I sang as I began whispering to the Doctor; “Doctor, pull up your zipper!”

“What?!” Doctor yelled.

“That’s how we make embarrassments, if you become a friend of ours!” Spike and I both sang.

“I don’t lie, I really like to cheeeeeeeeat….” I sang.

“If you don’t lie, do you really brush your teeth?” Spike asked.

“No way!” I said.

“No wonder you smell like feet.” Spike complained.

“High-hoof here….” I sang.

“Low-hoof there….” Spike sang.

“And a couple of broly hugs!” we both sang. “That’s how we get along so well, if you become a friend of ours!”

“HA HA HA!” I shouted.

“HO HO HO!” Spike shouted.

“HA HA HA HA….” We both shouted.

“Haaaaaa.” The Doctor pouted his hoof and said.

Spike and I both concluded the song as we began dancing towards the TARDIS. “That’s how we get along so well, if you become a friend of ours! That’s how we get along so well, with a ha ha ha, ho ho ho, ha ha ha, ho ho ho, ha ha ha, ho ho-

“MERRY HEARTH’S WARMING!” I shouted.

“…if you become a friend of ours!” we both concluded the song as the TARDIS doors shut closed with the three of us inside.

Everypony cheers out for us because what we did seemed to be more entertaining than anything they ever seen in a long time, if not ever! Twilight suddenly came to her senses though. “Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE!” Inside the TARDIS, I locked the door tight.

“There, that should keep her. Now let’s get back to the past!” I said, humming the Back to the Future Theme right after.

“That’s Back to the Future, Flare.” Spike corrected him. Twilight suddenly started banging on the door, trying to get in.

“Doctor, HURRY!” I yelled out.

“I’m going as fast as I can!” the Doctor said turning buttons and knobs, trying to get the time machine working. Just then, Twilight used magic like a blowtorch and started blowtorching her way through the door. “Doctor, what are you doing!? Doctor….. GO!”

“Just a minute….” Doctor said.

“WE DON’T GOTS A MINUTE!” I yelled, holding the door so Twilight doesn’t get through. She’s nearly done; she already is on the other side of the door with her blowtorch.

“GOT IT!” Doctor yelled as he presses a button and the blowtorch stops all the sudden. “We’re here.”

“Couldn’t cut it any closer?” I asked as I rubbed my head. We open the TARDIS door and we’re back in Old Canterlot over a thousand years ago.

“So, all we have to is find our past selves, fix everything, and then you’re doing my chores.” Doctor instructed us.

“What? Why?” I asked.

“The bet, remember?” Doctor asked.

“Bet? What bet? I don’t remember any bet!” I lied.

“Remember or not, you’re still cleaning this time machine for a month.” Doctor reminded me.

“Look! There we are!” Spike said, pointing to us, about to enter the castle.

“Yeah, my stomach is growling with some chimi-changas!” past Spike said in an accent. “Way to go Flare! You got me hungry!”

“Your welcome!” past me said.

“STOP! Stay right where you are!” present Doctor cried out.

“Huh? Who are you?” past Spike asked.

“We’re you, from the future!” present Spike said.

Past Doctor sighed. “Ok, who messed everything up?”

“Take a wild guess!” present Doctor said sarcastically, pointing at me.

“Smooth move, brah.” Present me said with an annoyed tone.

“Sweet Celestia, Flare! We just got here a while ago and you already screwed everything up!” past Spike complained.

“You see, THAT is why I need to change the past! So everypony can say her name!” past me complained.

“Look, Flare, trust me. You’ll be changing a lot more than you think. I already thought of a Plan Q, tell Celestia to tell everypony that they have to say Luna’s name more often.” Present me said.

“Sounds good to me! I was just about to have second thoughts anyway.” Past me said.

“Which means you have a TARDIS to clean, Flare.” Past Doctor reminded me.

“No! I didn’t do anything, the bet’s off!” past me said.

“Because of your reckless actions, you messed everything up!” past Doctor said.

“Shut up, Doc! Just, shut up!” past me yelled.

“Well, I had enough here. Let’s go home!” present me said.

“I agree, but that past Doctor is right. You need to clean my TARDIS!” Present Doctor said and smirked at me while stepping into the time machine, and present Spike and I followed him.

“I hope you get eaten by a dinosaur when we return to the present.” Present me said. When the TARDIS disappeared back to the present, we appear back in the present and stepped out of the TARDIS.

“So did we do it? Is everything back to normal?” I asked.

“Let me check.” The Doctor takes out a laptop and types down ‘Nightmare Moon’. The topic pops up, and there it was! Nightmare Moon’s defeat! “Ah! There it is! Nightmare Moon’s defeat! We did it!”

“ALRIGHT! We did it! We made Nightmare Moon evil and we made her get banished and hated!” I said excitedly.

“YES!” Spike yelled in joy.

“We made Luna hated!” Doctor cried out as we then all high-hooved eachother, but right after, we felt that this was an awkward moment, saying she was hated before and all. Just then, Rainbow Dash came bursting to us, all excited.

“Oh there you all are! There’s the writer of the Daring Do series! You are so awesome!” Rainbow said excitedly to one of us.

The Doctor glared at me. “You really sicken me, Flare.”

“Then why aren’t you sneezing?” I asked.

Rainbow then went over to Spike and gave him a noogie. “Who knew our very own dragon friend would be the creator of the most awesome book ever made?”

“Uhh, yeah, of course!” Spike said nervously, pretending he knew what he was talking about.

“You’re a genius, Spike! I’ll buy you a milkshake later!” Rainbow offered as she flew away. The Doctor and I both glare at Spike.

“What? I didn’t know he’d actually go through with that! Or…. I would.” Spike complained.

The Doctor sighed. “Now we have to go back and fix everything, again! Everypony back to the TARDIS!” he instructed us.

“I’m still hungry for some French onion soup.” I said as we walked back inside the TARDIS. We all went back to where we were before, and as we run out and we see Past Spike, me, and Doctor; along with an extra group of us’s.

“Way to go Flare! You got me hungry!” past Spike complained.

“Your welcome!” past me said.

“Hey who are those- Oh yeah, we were just here.” Just before recent us’s could warn past us’s about changing time, another TARDIS shows up,= and another group of us’s show up.

“STOP!” future Doctor yells.

“Who are you?” present Doctor asked.

“We’re from the future!” future me said.

“What? But we’re from the future!” present me said.

“We’re from the further future!” future me said. “We’re here to stop you from stopping those three us’s from doing what they’re about to do!” Eventually, yet-another TARDIS shows up.

“STOP!” the us’s from that TARDIS yelled out.

“We’re from the further-further future!” the me from that TARDIS yelled out. “What you three are doing is actually fine! It’s what YOU THREE are doing that makes things bad!”

Then yet-yet another TARDIS shows up! “STOP! We’re from the further-further-further future! What YOU THREE are doing eventually works out! It’s what YOU THREE are doing that makes things work!” Just then, 24 different TARDIS’s showed up with the same exact reasons! One of the TARDIS’s had Derpy with them.

“I dunno why I’m here; I’m just looking for the can. Isn’t the TARDIS a porter potty?” Derpy asked. Just then, more TARDIS’s appear, and one of the groups of us’s were trash bins.

“Holy Wizard of Hope, what happened to you?!” one of the me’s asked the trash bin us’s.

“We don’t know! This is life for some reason!” trash can Spike cried out.

“My name is PUSH! See, it’s on my door!” trash bin me said. All of the 30 different us’s continued to argue with eachother continuously. Somepony had to do something about it, so the present Doctor went on top of a tree stump and yelled out; “EVERYPONY, SHUT UP!” All of us went silent and looked at Doctor. “I am really confused right now! I have no idea what’s going on, so we’ll put it to vote! Who says we should change the past?” 43 of the us’s, including Derpy raised their hooves. The Doctor counted them all. “43, ok! Who says no we should keep everything how it is?” 48 of us raised our hooves, including Derpy who voted twice. “48, alright! So the nos have it!”

“Wait a minute, 43 and 48? We’re including Derpy who voted twice, that makes 90 of us, there should be 91!” I said.

“Sorry! I got chopped in half on the way here!” one of the me’s yelled out. “That makes 90 ½ of us.”

“Wait, if one of me is chopped in half, shouldn’t all the me’s be chopped in half?” I asked the Doctor.

The Doctor sighed. “You know what? I guess not! Ok, EVERYPONY, go back to your TARDIS’s, go back in your own time, and STAY THERE! No mentioning about novels, no going to the bathroom, no eating, don’t even breathe the air! Just go back to your own times, and STAY THERE!” the Doctor ordered all of the us’s. So, all of us when back to our own time’s. It took a while for the me that was chopped in half to get to the TARDIS, since ‘I’ had to crawl ‘my’ way. Just then, present us’s went back into our own TARDIS.
“Phew! I’m glad that’s all over! I just hope we don’t have any dinosaurs in the present!” I said in relief.

“We’re here.” The Doctor said and then we all walked out of the TARDIS, but something wasn’t quite right.

“Wait a minute. Isn’t this Old Canterlot still?” Spike asked as we walked out of the TARDIS.

“Looks the same as Nightmare Moon era, what gives?” I complained.

“I sent us back to right before we arrived to change the past. I’m going to have a little talk with our past selves; just to be sure our present day hasn’t changed AT ALL!” Doctor explained.

“Forget this! Let me do the talking!” I suggested. Just then, the TARDIS featuring our past selves arrived, and they came out. I aimed my horn at them and it started glowing, then I yelled; “GET BACK IN YOUR TIME MACHINE! GET RIGHT BACK IN YOUR TIME MACHINE RIGHT NOW!”

“FLARE?!” present Doctor yelled.

“Whoa! Whoa! What’s all this about?” past Spike asked. “Who are you?

“NEVER MIND WHO I AM!” I yelled at them. “JUST GET BACK IN YOUR TIME MACHINE! GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM, AND STAY THERE!”

“Look, there’s just one thing I wanna-“ past me said, but he got interrupted after present me shot past me in the leg with laser blast. “OW! OW!”

“GET BACK IN THERE!” present me yelled.

“Ok, ok! No problems! We’re going back in!” past Doctor said, going back into the TARDIS along with past me and Spike, and then the TARDIS disappears.

“And that’s how we do it in Mareami!” I said mischievously to the Doctor and Spike.

“That was a little too much, Flare.” Doctor said.

“Nothing is a little too much Flare! There needs to be a lot of Flare!” I yelled.

“So, what’s gonna happen now?” Spike asked.

“Well, if my calculations are correct, everything that’s happened before we came to this time would’ve been erased. Which means, the three of us never exited.” Doctor explained.

“UGH! My brain hurts!” I yelled.

“Eh, you won’t feel that pain when you return to the present. The only pain you’ll have is when you shot yourself in the leg.” Spike said.

“Oh…. Poo.” I said. Just then, everything started getting erased. “But wait… how are they going to know about what happened 10 years before this? In Celestia’s past but our future?”

“Forget it, Flare. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Spike said as everything finally gets erased, and the three of us never existed, which means this entire chapter never happened. How do I remember it? Well, I don’t actually., but don’t worry about that! So the three of us returned to the present and the Doctor bandaged up my leg.

“There we go! Good as new!” the Doctor said.

“I dunno how this would happen. All I wanted was Luna’s name to be said by everypony!” I complained. “How am I supposed to do that now?”

“Well, I don’t know, Flare, but you shouldn’t let it bother you. Luna would know how much of a great friend you are to her, and that’ll mean everything to her!” the Doctor said, smiling at me.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I nodded in agreement.

“Hey, Flare. How about that bet you had with the Doctor?” Spike reminded us.

“Shut up, Spike! The bet’s off! I didn’t do anything wrong, so forget the bet!” I complained.

“Flare, you have no choice, you have to do my chores….. that is, if you had to.” The Doctor said, smiling at me.

“Of course I don’t have to!” I said.

“I don’t know why, but I have this sudden urge for a chimi-changa right now.” Spike said.

“Yeah, me too.” I said. “Hey, Doc, thanks for everything!”

“Hey, no problem! As long as you learned your lesson and have to know what the risks are by time travel.” The Doctor said. “Also please call me ‘the Doctor’, not ‘Doc’.”

“As long as we’re extra careful, can we time travel again?” I asked.

“As long as it’s for research purposes only, then no problem!” the Doctor said.

“Great! I suppose I’ll see you again soon!” I said.

“Farewell, Flare and Spike! It was great having you two come and visit!” the Doctor said.

“No problemo, brah! See ya!” I said.

“Bye, Doctor!” Spike said, and then we both exited the TARDIS. Once we left the Doctor sighs and begins to talk to himself. “Part of being a Time Lord is that I remember everything. Flare and Spike will have to be back to me again to time travel once more. When that time comes, I’ll be ready. Whatever forces attacked Old Canterlot ten years ago, I shall be ready for it, and I hope they are too.”

Meanwhile outside the TARDIS, I was feeling relieved. “Phew! Glad that’s all over!”

“Well, here we are again! Safe and sound!” Spike said.

“It’s a good thing the alternative us’s were there to stop us from changing the past, but I guess we’ll never know what happened if we did.” I said.

“It’s a good thing everything is back to normal, though!” Spike said happily. Just then, we saw a dinosaur next to us reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.

“Hey!” the dinosaur said to us.

“Uhh…. Hey.” I said confusingly.

Here Comes Santa Paws

View Online

Merry Hearth’s Warming, brahs and sistas! We’re just about to head to the most wonderfulest time of year! It’s three days until Hearth’s Warming and everypony is decorating the town full of lights, reeves, and it’s the only time they sell egg nog in the stores, which makes me really upset because they should have egg nog all year long! Don’t you all agree? This is my first Hearth’s Warming here in Ponyville! Let’s start off the story with everyone’s favorite characters of the story: my fish! They were just decorating the tank full of Hearth’s Warming decorations. Pearl was putting up the tree, humming a little Hearth’s Warming tune.

“There! All done!” Pearl said.

“Nice try, Pearl! But you didn’t decorate it though.” Rainbow said.

“What do you mean?” Pearl asked.

“I mean, Flare put all these decorations in and look you taking all the glory.” Rainbow said.

“I can’t wait until we get our presents!” Darrel cried out in excitement.

“Darrel, the only presents we ever get is some special type of food Flare only feeds us on occasions.” Dorthey reminded him.

“EXACTLY!” Yoyo said. “That’s why we’re so excited! Right, Darrel?” Yoyo put his fin in the air, and Darrel slapped it.

“You got it, Yoyo!” Darrel said.

Dorthey sighed and rolled her eyes. “Where’s Piddles?”

“Probably sleeping….. again.” Pearl said.

“Piddles has been sleeping a lot lately.” Dorthey said.

“Hey, let him sleep, he’s fine!” Rainbow said. Piddles was sleeping on one of them columns.

“C’MON PIDDLES! Wake up! It’s Hearth’s Warming!” Darrel said in excitement, trying to push Piddles up. Piddles woke up quickly and swam to the other side of the tank and went back down.

“Leave me alone! I’m trying to sleep!” Piddles complained. “Besides, Hearths Warming ain’t for a few days.”

“C’mon, Piddles! It’s daytime! We don’t sleep in the day!” Darrel chuckled.

“Yeah, well, I do. So if you excuse me, Darrel. I got some zees to catch.” Piddles said. “Wake me up when it’s feeding time.”

“I’ll take care of that!” Yoyo said excitedly. Just then, Apollo, Blaze’s pet phoenix flies through the window and onto the fish tank.

“Greetings, my aquatic friends!” Apollo said.

“Hey, who you calling little?” Yoyo complained.

“My mistake, Yoyo.” Apollo said.

“Hey, Apollo! What brings you here?” Rainbow asked.

“Just here to wish you a Happy Hearth’s Warming, and see what you all are up to.” Apollo said.

“I’m decorating the tree!” Pearl said.

“Pearl, I told you, Flare put that in, and you’re taking all the credit for it just by patting on it.” Rainbow reminded her.

“I’m just waiting for my Hearth’s Warming presents!” Darrel said excitedly.

“I’m happy if you’re happy, Darrel.” Apollo said.

“It’s food actually.” Dorthey said.

“Ah, I see.” Apollo nodded. “Where’s Piddles?”

“Sleeping.” Dorthey said.

“He’s been sleeping a lot lately.” Apollo said.

“I know! That’s what I said!” Dorthey said.

“Great minds think alike, huh Dorthey?” Apollo nodded. Eventually, I bursted through my bedroom door carrying a lot of boxes and set them down on the floor.

“Ah, Hearth’s Warming! The most glories and greediest time for the year!” I said excitedly. “You know something, fishies? I have the feeling…… WOOOOO HOOOO, that tonight's gonna be a good night!" I sang, and then I laughed. “Sorry, I had to say that!”

“I don’t remember the last time I heard that song.” Pearl said.

“I have the feeling…… WOOO HOOOO, that tonight’s gonna be a good night!” I sang again. “Wow, I can’t believe I just that again. Anyways, I have a feeling- WOOOOO HOOOO, that….. I gotta stop doing that. What I’m saying is, I think that this Hearth’s Warming will be pretty different than others, you know why?”

“Because you’re in snow?” Rainbow guessed.

“Because this is your first Hearth’s Warming in a trailer?” Yoyo guessed.

“Because you’ll drink egg nog this year?” Darrel guessed.

“He drinks egg nog every year.” Yoyo reminded him.

“Because this year I’m gonna spend Hearth’s Warming with my friends here in Ponyville!” I said.

“That was my next choice!” Darrel said.

“Yeah…. Right.” Dorthey said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“This is also a great year to try out my Santa Paws costume!” I said. “I’m gonna be Santa Paws this year, ring a bell on the streets, taking pictures of fillies on my lap, and ask them what they want for Hearth’s Warming and pretend to care.” I put on my Santa robe, my hat, and a big white beard, making me look exactly like Santa Paws. “And now for the finishing touches!” I place a big wire on my head with a mistletoe hanging over my nose. “Perfect!” I then walked over to the fish tank again. “Now I look a lot like Santa and I’m ready for Hearth’s Warming!” I said kissing the fish tank, since the mistletoe I was wearing was right on top of it. Pearl and Darrel were blushing, Rainbow and Dorthey gave me a strange look, Yoyo was just hungry, and Piddles was still sleeping. “It’s time for me to go out there and spread some Hearth’s Warming cheer!” I looked up and saw Apollo on my window. “Merry Hearth’s Warming, Apollo!” I said, kissing him.

Apollo wiped his cheek and said, “As if Darrel kissing me wasn’t bad enough.”

“Aw c’mon, everypony loves kisses!” Darrel said. “Don’t pretend you don’t love it!” Darrel smirked at him.

I bursted outside into the snow, and yelled out; “MERRRY HEARTH’S WARMING, BRAHS AND SISTAS!” I started dancing around in the snow, and around light poles and such, and started singing; “Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm. It’s one of the best times of the year (just one of them)! A fat old stallion breaks into your home, and he robs you wrong! Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm
You don’t steal from bumble bees…. AAAAH! GET ‘EM OFF! GET ‘EM OFF!” I yelled as bumble bees started swarming me after I attempted to steal from them. Then I step on a pony’s hoof and continued singing, “Step on the toes to friends you know, and everyone you’ll meet! Oh, oh, the missile blows, it destroys all the anger and war… Go to bed early in the eve, because your kids will wake you at 4! Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm, and in case you’re too deaf to hear…”

I then scream inside Adventure Blade’s ear, “HOLY WIZARD OF HOPE, HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY HEARTH’S WARM, THIS YEAR!”

“Oh.” Addie said.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm, it’s one of the best times of the year.” Aqua sang.

“We all laugh at the Hoops and Yoyo cards, and a Blue-Ray of Cars!” Crystal sang.

“Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm, I want a telescope to look deeper into space.” Psyche sang.

“I want a volcano-proof wonderbolt suit….” Blaze sang.

“I hope it burns your face!” Crystal sang.

“Hey!” Blaze complained.

“Oh, oh, nopony knows how much I don’t care about gifts. Beeeeeecause all I want, is my family to liiiives!” Aqua sang.

“That doesn’t even rhyme.” Psyche reminded him.

“I’m really sorry; I wish I didn’t have to do this but… shut up, Psyche.” Aqua said hesitantly.

“It’s ok, Aqua. It’s Hearth’s Warming.” Psyche said.

“Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm, and there’s not a need to fear.” I sang.

Then all five of us sang, “We just wish for you to have a fantastic Hearth’s Warm, this year! Praise the Princesses, have a fantastic Hearth’s Warm, this year!” The song concluded there.

“I hope we’re not singing too many songs here, cause I’m not in the mood.” Psyche said.

“I’ll make sure we won’t.” Aqua said.

“Wait a second, where’s Engie? He didn’t sing any part of the song.” Crystal said.

“He must not be here right now. I’m gonna spread more Hearth’s Warming cheer. I better get some egg nogs because I ran out of egg nogs to sell out my shop. Egg nog is soooo good, I just can’t keep them, you know?” I said. So I walked over to the market to get some egg nog and I rushed on over to my shop, which was all decorated for Hearth’s Warming already.

“Hey looks, it’s Santa Paws!” Lyra yelled out.

“HO HO HO! PIMP PIMP PIMP! Merry Hearth’s Warming!” I shouted.

“I hope Santa doesn’t sue you for stealing his looks.” Bonnie teased.

“I’m sure he’ll understand!” I said. “You know, at days like these I miss living in Mareami. Out of all the malls in the world, he chooses the Hoof Point Mall every year to ask the kiddies what they want for Hearth’s Warming!”

“You know, it sounded like you said kitties for a second!” Lyra said. A cutaway gag shows kittens sitting in Santa’a lap and Santa is asking the cats what they want for Hearth’s Warming. Of course the cats kept saying meow, and when Hearth’s Warming came, all they got was Meow Mix.

“Oh great! Every year he gives me meow mix! I keep asking him for a rubber mouse! Is that too much to ask?!” the cat complained. The cutaway ends.

“Hey Santa, did you remember to give everypony presents?” Bonnie asked.

“Give? I still need to buy them! I got this list here and I have to check it twice!” I said. “And since Hearth’s Warming is just a few days away, I better get Hearth’s Warming shopping!” Just then, Crèmepop walks right under my mistletoe just before I was to go out Hearth’s Warming shopping.

“Hey, Flarey!” Crème said.

“Hey, Crèmey!” I said.

“I’m right under your mistletoe right now.” Crème said to me with a seductive look on her eyes.

“Oh right! Sorry, sista!” I said as I was about to lean over and give her kiss, but then Spike came right in the middle of it.

“Hey, Flare! Nice man-smooch!” Spike said.

“What is it, Spike?” I asked.

“I got this letter from the princess; she wants to know if you want to enter the next Hearth’s Warming play.” Spike said.

“That depends, what part am I playing?” I asked.

“Try to guess. Who are you right now?” Spike asked, gaving me a hint.

“I’m Flare.” I said.

“No, I’m talking about the costume.” Spike said.

“Oh, she wants me to play as Santa Paws?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s going to be a different type of Hearth’s Warming play this year. Different from last year’s.” Spike said.

“I didn’t even see last year’s.” I said. Crème then sighed and went back to her post.

“Well, you wanna do it?” Spike asked.

“You don’t have to ask me twice! Sign me up!” I said excitedly.
“Great! I’ll tell Twilight right away!” Spike said. Just then he went out of the shop and walked over to Twilight’s house to tell her the news, and then I walked into the kitchen, and…. Well you know the rest. Eventually, it was time for my lunch break, and I decided to meet my friends at the cider bar, where Crystal, Psyche, Aqua, and Blaze were waiting for me. As they waited, they were watching TV.

“Tonight on Ox News,” the TV announcer said, “Is your home safe when you’re on holiday vacation? Does Santa break into your home anyway when you’re out? Is the reason egg nog only comes once a year is because it’s so expensive? Plus, later tonight, Mrs. Claus is suing companies for her husband’s name and nature being copyright infringed in movies.”

“These movies make a joke out of my husband! Santa Claus is NOT Tim Allen, and there’s no E on our surname!” Mrs. Claus complained.

“Will she get away with it in court? Find out tonight only on Ox!” the TV announcer said.

“Sup brahs?” I asked as I walked into the cider bar.

“Sup?” Blaze asked.

“Ehh, nothing. Where’s Engie?” I asked.

“Haven’t heard from him all day.” Blaze said.

“Me neither.” Crystal said.

“Not a thing.” Psyche said.

“Hey! Who asked you Psyche?” I asked him.

“You didn’t ask Crystal!” Psyche complained.

“Yeah, so?” I asked. Psyche sighed and shook his head. “So what are you all planning to do for Hearth’s Warming?”

“My mom’s coming down, and it’s going to be me, Rainbow Dash, Candy Cotton, and her all together for a great Hearth’s Warming night!” Blaze explained. “Gonna be telling stories, cuddle, warm up by the fire…..”

“Don’t lie, Blaze. We all know you’re not going to do that.” Crystal said.

“Yeah you’re right. We’re going to be racing, and doing stunts, and I’m going to try a volcano trial race with my mom!” Blaze explained in excitement.

“Well, what I’m gonna do is-“ I was about to explain.

“Nopony asked you Flare.” Psyche said, getting me back after I said the same thing to him before.

“Alright, Psyche, I get the point.” I said, rolling my eyes. “How about you, Aqua?”

“It’s just gonna be me and Wind Racer really.” Aqua said.

“I see. Well, you’re always welcome to have Hearth’s Warming with Water and I if you’re lonely.” I insited.

“We’ll have to think it over.” Aqua nodded.

“But for sure, I have to go out Hearth’s Warming shopping real soon! I’ve been so busy at the store; I wasn’t able to get anypony gifts yet!” I said.

“No rush, man! You got plenty of time!” Blaze said.

“Hey, I got a quest-chin.” I said.

“A quest-chin?” Aqua asked.

“Yes, a quest-chin.” I said. “What would you rather do? Burn a Yu-Gi-Oh card or say One Direction is a good band?”

“Totally say One Direction is a good band!” Blaze said.

“It’s true. I’d never burn a Yu-Gi-Oh card even if you paid me!” Psyche said.

“One Direction is terrible! I’d rather burn the card than admit they’re cool.” Crystal admitted.

“You’re terrible, Crystal. You’re really terrible.” I said.

“It’s just an opinion!” Crystal said.

“How about this? Who would you rather date? A cute and friendly stallion or an ugly and abusing mare?” I asked.

“Cute stallion!” Crystal said.

“Not you, Crystal. You have a different question. Would you rather date a cute and friendly mare, or an ugly and abusing stallion?” I asked her.

“I’m going with the mare because you won’t make me date a stallion!” Psyche said.

“Same here.” Blaze said.

“I’d actually go with the cute and friendly stallion.” I admitted. “I mean, I will never date somepony that’s abusing! Remember Fonz Punkskull?”

“Right. That’s why I’d go with the cute and friendly mare.” Crystal said. “Hey, I got a good one! Would you rather die a slow and painful death with your friends, or die a quick and painless death alone?”

“That one’s a toughie! I wouldn’t want my friends to be in pain along with me. So I’d rather go with alone.” I said.

“Same.” Psyche said.

“Ditto.” Blaze said.

“That’s not what I meant. I meant, do you want to have a slow and painful death with your friends still loving you, or die a quick and painless death with all your old friends hating you, and you’re all alone?” Crystal asked.

“I’d rather have my friends still love me, but having a slow and painful death.” Blaze said.

“Same.” Psyche said.

“I can’t live with hate, and I can die with hate too, so I’ll have to agree.” I said.

“Really? Wow, because I wouldn’t care. I’d rather put myself out of my misery.” Crystal said.

“You do have a point there, Crystal. But I’m still sticking with the answer I already given.” I said.

“Aqua, you’re not answering any of these questions. Why?” Blaze asked.

“I’m sorry, but this is stupid and pointless. I’d rather not participate.” Aqua said.

“Sigh. What’s Engie taking so long?” I asked.

“I tried calling him a while ago, he wouldn’t answer.” Psyche said.

“Maybe we should go check up on him.” I suggested.

“Ok but first… our check.” Crystal said.

“Here’s your check, buds.” The waiter said as he gave Crystal the check.

“Ok I saw the check. Let’s sneak out without paying.” Crystal instructed us as the five of us did so, but on the way out, Crystal steals the pen on the receipt. “I have a pen stealing habit.” She said to you.

So we all agreed to go check on Engineer, so we left the pub and went over to his house. We rung the doorbell, but there was no answer. Well…. of course there was no answer, I just rung the doorbell and he were to answer it this particular moment? Well, he hasn’t answered at all, so we kept on ringing the doorbell.

“Maybe he’s not home.” Aqua assumed.

“Nah, his lights are on. It isn’t like Engie to waste electricity.” Blaze pointed out.

I started knocking on the door. Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Engie finally resisted, and opened the door. He had a sentry aimed right towards us. We all were surprised.

“WHOA SALAMI!” I yelled. The gun was about to fire at us, but Engie forgot to load it up. HA!

“Darn piece of junk!” Engie complained, kicking it. Then the Sentry gets knocked over and lands on his hoof. “OW! OW! OW!”

“Engie, what’s all this about?” Blaze asked.

“Nothin. What do y’all want?” Engie asked with an attitude.

“Oh, nothing then, if you’re gonna talk to us like that.” I said, feeling insulted, and was about to walk away, but Blaze stopped me.

“What’s wrong, Engie?” Blaze asked.

“Nothin’. Go away!” Engie demanded.

“C’mon Engie! We can help you out!” Psyche insisted.

“Ah’m givin y’all FIVE SECONDS to get out, before ah get ya to freeze to death out here! FIVE… FOUR… THREE….” Engie yelled, pointing a water shotgun at us. Trust me; water guns are a weapon out here in the snow.

“That won’t be necessary Engie! We’ll be going now.” Blaze said nervously as we all walked away.

“THAT’S RIGHT! RUN YOU COWARDS!” Engie yelled, and then he slammed the door shut.

“I don’t get it, what’s wrong with Engie?” Psyche asked.

“Maybe it’s just a squirrel thing.” Crystal teased.

“FLARE! FLARE!” Crème yelled out running under my mistletoe.

“Oh that’s right! I almost forgot your kiss!” I just remembered. So Crème held out her cheek and I was about to kiss her, but then Blaze got right in the middle.

“Nice man-smooch, bro!” Blaze said. “Listen, I have an idea. You should go talk to him yourself.”

“Why me?” I asked. Crème started groaning and mumbling as she walked away.

“Because, he might listen to you!” Blaze said. “Look at you, man! You cheered us up when we were in need, now you must do the same for Enige!”

I was silent for a sec. “I dunno, Blaze. You think I can do it?” I asked.

“I rely on you, Flare.” Crystal said. “You helped Thunder and I get back together.”

“Ya helped me out in mah time of need. It’s the least ya can do.” Aqua said.

“Well…. I suppose I can try.” I said.

“Look at you! You’re dressed as Santa Paws, you’ll do great!” Blaze said.

“Oh right, I forgot I was still wearing this! HO CO PO!” I yelled. “Wow that sounds like something they’d say in Dragonball Z.”

Later that night, Engie was inside his house, working on a project, he saw a picture of him along with Red Pyro and Heavy, and a picture of him with a dead blue spy. Engie just sighed and shook his head. Engie then looks at the photo underneath that picture was a picture of ponies that I never seen before, and Engie looked really different. He had hair in that photo! “Ah wish ah wasn’t stuck like this…” he said sadly to himself.

Just then I started knocking on the door again repeatly. Knock, knock, knock; “Enige.” Knock, knock, knock; “Enige.” Knock, knock, knock; “Enige.” Knock, knock, knock; “Enige.” Engie opened the door.

“What do ya want, Flare?” Engie asked with an attitude.

“Pizza delivery for a mister Red Engineer!” I said.

“Ah didn’t order a pizza.” He corrected me.

“It’s on the house, brah!” I said.

“Oh, well….. thanks partner.” Engie said. “So… where’s the pizza?”

“It’s on the house!” I said.
“Ah know, but where is it?” Engie asked.

“I told you! It’s on the house!” I repeated myself.

“What do ya mean?” Engie asked. I pointed up to the roof and the pizza was right there on the roof. Engie shook his head. “Seriously, Flare?”

“You get the joke, brah?” I asked.

“Yeah….. sure.” Engie said upsettingly.

I used my magic to take the pizza off of the roof and then I gave it to him. “So that’ll be 8 bits!”

“Ah thought ya said it was free?” Engie asked.

“I said it was on the house.” I corrected him.

“That’s what free is.” Engie corrected me.

“Oh that’s free? Wow, and all this time I’ve been putting pizzas on houses. I guess that explains all the complaint phone calls I’ve been having.” I said.

“Here ya wanna come in, Flare?” Engie asked.

“Plox! Plixy plox.” I said. So Engie moved out of the way and we both sat on the couch, eating some of my pizza.

“Look Flare, ah know yer here for a reason. Ya might as well spit it out.” Engie said. I was about to spit on the floor, but Engie predicted what I was doing. “If ya dare spit it out, yer a dead stallion!”

“Look, what’s wrong Engie? I know you’re having a bit of problems right now.” I said.

“Well, ya might not under- Can ya take that mistletoe off from on top of us? This is getting’ awkward.” Engie requested. So I turned the mistletoe around, and it was leaning behind me instead of in front.

“Better?” I asked.

“It’ll do as long as ya don’t look over there.” Engie said.

“Over where?” I asked as I turned my head around to look at the opposite end of the room and the mistletoe was over him again.

“Ah know ah haven’t been comin around lately, but….. ah got a good reason.” Engie said as I look back at him.

“It better be a better reason than the time I had to help you get your teleporter out of a ditch.” I assumed.

“Well…… ah just…… it’s complicated to explain.” Engie said.

“I can tell. You’re skin’s turning orange.” I said.

“What?” Engie asked looking at his skin. “Mah skin was always orange! Look, ah’ve just…… ah can’t do it!”

“You can’t do it what?” I asked.

“Ah can’t say it! Ah’m tryin to say that……. AH HATE HEARTH’S WARMIN ALRIGHT?!” Engie yelled.

“Wow, you hate Hearth’s Warming, huh? Big surprise.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Ya know?” Engie asked.

“Well, every holiday story is about somepony hating the holidays. Well…… maybe I can help you get your spirit back!” I suggested.

“Ah dunno if ya can. Ah mean, ah always spend Hearth’s Warmin’ with mah family, havin’ a good time.” Engie explained.

“Your family, that’s the other classes, right?” I asked.

“Uhh, right, yeah.” Engie said. “It was just us, eating Scout’s pancakes, Heavy’s sandvich’s, Sniper’s gravy, mah bacon.” Engie explained.

“So why don’t you go?” I asked.

“Ah can’t.” Engie said.

“Why not?” I asked. “I can give you money if money is the issue.”

“Money isn’t the issue.” Engie corrected me.

“Then what is?” I asked.

“It’s just… it’s complicated.” Engie said.

“Why you outta make things so complicated?” I asked. “I see the way you’re acting like somepony else, it gets me frustrated.”

“WHAT?!” Engie yelled.

“Whoa! What was that?” I asked.

“Oh… sorry… ah just… don’t worry ‘bout it.” Engie said. “Maybe ya should just go.”

“I can’t go until I can make you happy.” I swore. “I want to make sure you have a great Hearth’s Warming.”

“Well… if you really want to help, you can help me take mah mind off mah family issues.” Engie suggested.

“Oh nonsense, Engie! I’ll reunite you with your family!” I insisted.

“No ah’d rather you help me take mah mind off it all.” Engie said

“Alrighty then. I’m pretty much a pro on getting my mind off things. I did that a lot back at home, so maybe I’ll help you out!” I accepted.

“Much obliged, partner!” Engie said. “Ah really appreciate yer help. It’ll be nice to get outta the house.”

“If you keep sitting around doing nothing all day, playing video games, I’m going to have to charge you for rent.” Engie’s robomom said.

“Ah OWN THIS PLACE, ma!” Engie corrected her. “Be lucky ah don’t charge YOU for rent!”

“Now hang on, if you miss your family, what about robomom?” I asked.

“Oh hush; ah made her, she doesn’t count.” Engie said.

“Do I mean nothing to you? You make me heartbroken.” Robomom said as her computer eyes started tearing up pixelly. “Sobs, weeps, cries, boo-hoo… serious case of heartbroken… proceeding to the nearest cider bar for intoxication.” Robomom then suddenly rides on out of the house, breaking the door on the way out.

“Ah never programmed her to open a door.” Engie said to me.

“So Engie and I went over to Twilight’s place for a little help, so we started throwing books off the shelf, trying to find the books we’re looking for. “Find anythin’ to relate on what ah could do to forget mah pain?”

“What are you talking about, Engie?” I asked. “I’m just randomly throwing books off the shelf.”

Twilight saw me as I was throwing books off her shelf. “Uhh, you ok Flare?” Twilight asked.

“No, I’m just Flare.” I said, still throwing books off the shelves.
“Engie, what are you two doing here anyway? What are you looking for?” Twilight asked. “Come to think of it, when did you two start caring about books?”

“I don’t care about books. I’m just collecting these books so I can BUUUUUURN THEEEEEM!” I said an evil tone, and then laughed evilly with fire bursting behind me, but then Spike started spraying on me with a fire extinguisher.

“Seriously, Flare?” Twilight asked, not believing a word I said.

“No. My interwebs are down, so I have to rely on…. Ick… READING!” I said in a disgusted tone.

“Oooook, well what are you looking for?” Twilight asked.

“Ah haven’t seen mah family in ages and ah need to find somethin’ to help me… you know… distract me from the pain.” Engie said.

“Awww!” Twilight said upsettingly. “That is so sweet!”

“How in ANY WAY is that sweet?” Engie asked. “That’s not sweet, that’s sad! Yer supposed to be the genius here!”

“Well excuse me!” Twilight said in an insulted tone.

“Well I’m not giving up on Engie.” I said. “It’s my duty (heh, duty) to keep my friends happy and make sure their pains aren’t being… you know… painful.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Flare, but…. Don’t you have Hearth’s Warming shopping to do? Not to mention Hearth’s Warming play!” Twilight reminded me.

“I am aware of my scheduling, Twilight.” I said.

“But, Flare…. I think you should realize that-“ Twilight was about to explain.

“Twi.... Light, I appreciate your concern, but I can handle anything! Just give me a book on distractions.” I demanded.

“Why give you a book when I could just give you the advice myself?” Twilight suggested.

“Because the difference between you and a book is that we wouldn’t have to hear the complicated version from you, and we could just see the complicated version on print.” I said.

“See the difference between that is that if we see the words, it’ll give us time to think about what they mean, instead of you just sayin’ them and then we just say ‘what’ nonstop and you have to keep repeatin’ yerself.” Engie explained.

Twilight gave us a both a glare. “How about I just tell you a non-complicated version?” she suggested.

“How about Spike just translates for you?” I suggested.

“Is that all I am to you? A Twilight translator?” Spike complained.

“Eh, whateves. Give us yer best shot, Twilight.” Engie said.

“Well, Hearth’s Warming is a time of giving, right?” Twilight asked.

“Why ask us? You’re the expert.” I said.

“I don’t HAVE TO help you, you know.” Twilight said.

“No you don’t, but I have to help Engie in any way I can, because friendship is very important and magical. You taught us that, didn’t you?” I reminded her.

“Well, since I know for sure that you’re paying attention to how important the magic of friendship is, I’ll set your insults aside and continue to help you.” Twilight said.

“Couldn’t say it better mahself.” Engie said.

“Hearth’s Warming is a time of giving,” Twilight said, “It’s a time of ponies from all over the world to share and exchange gifts; however, there are ponies out there that cannot give because they’re broke, but you can help them. You can send poor kids around the world presents or donations to help them survive and make life worth living. Engie, if you want my suggestion, I say that if you donate a gift to a pony in need, then I think you’ll feel really proud of yourself, and you’ll no longer be miserable.”

Engie was silent for a moment and thought to himself, and then he smiled and nodded. “That is a good idea, Twilight!”

“I could agree more.” I said.

“Don’t you mean, you couldn’t agree more?” Spike asked.

“No I could agree more. I could make a better suggestion, but to be honest, I can’t at this time, and I think I like Twilight’s suggestion.” I said. “Somepony at a poor part of the world needs our help. I think it is time we donated.”

“Why not give them presents?” Spike asked.

“Do we know what they want?” Engie asked.

“Yeah good point.” Spike said.

“Ah mean, what if ah give them a toy fire truck, when they actually prefer an ambulance?” Engie asked. “Or what if ah give them an airplane and they prefer a helicopter? Or what if they prefer a toy gun over a toy shiv? Or what if they prefer their daddy’s hidden stash over a lighter?”

“I said ‘good point’.” Spike reminded him.

“Then we’ll donate!” I said.

“Well… Flare, you see, that’s the thing.” Engie said.

“What’s the thing?” I asked. We eventually went back over to Engie’s house and got on his computer. Engie showed me a picture online on a poor little flufflepuff in another part of the world.

“This is Pal, mah ‘adopted’ flufflepuff.” Engie said.

“Wow he looks so adorable!” I said.

“It’s a ‘she’, Flare.” Engie corrected me.

“A she? Why does it look like a colt then? Only guys are supposed to be fat.” I said.

“Don’t fat girls exist?” Engie asked.

“Shhhh!” I shushed him. “No… they don’t. They all look perfect the way they are. All girls look healthy and sexy, no matter what!”

“Tryin’ to get girls to like you more by sayin’ lies?” Engie asked.

“SHUT UP!” I yelled as I activated my hornsaber and smacked him in the back of the head. “BAD ENGIE! BAD!”

“Ah’m the jerk in the group, what can ah say?” Engie reminded me.

“So tell me about Pal here.” I requested.

“Well, Pal is 9 years old. He lives in the land of Flufflepuffs, where they came from, their home land, but after the war between them and the Naughty Freds, it’s just… it’s just been horrible for them.” Engie explained as he started to tear up. “Many flufflepuffs are homeless, and take mah word for it, their fur makes a comfy home. Many hairless flufflepuffs, and ah’ve been donatin’ ever since.”

“How long have you been donating?” I asked.

“Since the Naughty Freds attacked their homeland four years ago, ah’ve been donatin’ for four years. It takes a long time for a flufflepuff’s fur to grow back.” Engie said.

“How much have you been paying?” I asked.

“About two thousand bits per year.” Engie said.

“That’s heavy, brah. I’m so proud that you’d do something like that. Those poor flufflepuffs.” I shook my head and said.

“You know what, Flare? Ah am proud of mahself.” Engie nodded as he smiled. “Ah do very good deeds for the environment, and ah feel really good that ah’m savin’ lives, especially in Hearth’s Warmin’. Ah’m goin’ to donate 300 bits today to the Red Plus to send to the flufflepuff shelters. They’ll need all the help they could get.”

“I agree, brah.” I nodded in agreement. “You know what? Me too. I’m going to donate 500 bits!”

“Whoa, partner, this is mah thing. Don’t try to make me look bad.” Engie advised me.

“Alright, 450?” I asked.

“100.” Engie said.

“250.” I said.

“Alright deal.” Engie said.

“No wait, no deal. 250 and a cookie.” I said.

“What kind of cookie?” Engie asked.

“Chocolate-chocolate.” I said.

“That’s too much. Vanilla cookie.” Engie said.

“Oatmeal raisin.” I said.

“Deal.” Engie agreed. So we put our donations in envelopes and wrote down the address on the envelopes – 2991 Smith Blvd. 13319.

“Smith Blvd., huh?” I asked. “We talking about the Smith Blvd. here in Ponyville?”

“Ah have no idea, but judgin’ by the zip-code, ah think it’s in one of those towns near Manehatten.” Engie said. So after we sealed up our envelopes, and after I got a paper cut on my tongue from licking it, we placed our donations in Engie’s mailbox and our job was done.

“We did a good deed today, Engie.” I said.

“Eeyup!” Engie agreed. “We sure did!”

“This is going to be a great Hearth’s Warming! I could tell!” I said.

“Thanks for yer help, Flare. Ah feel much better about mahself. Ah guess ah could live without mah family for a while.” Engie nodded.

“Why can’t you see your family though, can you tell me please?” I asked.

“Not now, partner. There are things ah must keep secret.” Engie said.

“You must have a pretty big secret.” I said.

“It’s the biggest secret ever.” Engie said.

“Does it involve what’s in your team’s intelligence briefcase?” I asked.

“No, much more than that, but now is not the time.” Engie said.

“Alright.” I nodded. You’ll know much about Engie’s secret in a later story. Since I’m already five books ahead of you, I already know the secret, but you’re not knowing until later, so HA-HA!

The next day came, and I had to fulfill my duties as our town’s Santa Paws, so I went over to town hall and I sat down on my big Santa chair with the kiddies around town sitting on my lap, taking pictures with them, and they tell me what they want for Hearth’s Warming. I saw an elf nearby ringing a bell, which was actually Spike dressed like an elf and was ringing a bell. “Spike?!” I yelled.

“Don’t ask.” Spike said with an annoyed tone.

I started laughing. “This is too rich to ask!” I yelled in laughter. Spike just glared at me as I continued laughing. Had most of the kids in town come by! Pipsqueak, Featherweight, Berry Pinch, and lots of the other foals I don’t normally see were simple. Candy Cotton asked for lots of extreme stuff, Snips was squishing my thigh because he’s so fat, Snails didn’t ask for anything he was just eating cheese balls, Apple Bloom just wanted to be with her family which brought joy into my heart because… most of my family was still in Mareami, it makes me want to go and see them, brought tears to my eyes. Scootaloo knew it was I.

“Heh! You look funny, Flare!” Scoots laughed.

“Ho ho ho! What do you mean? I’m not Flare! I’m Santa Paws!” I said in a Santa voice.

“C’mon, you think anypony can believe this fake beard?” Scootaloo asked pulling my beard which was attached to a string around my face and she let go and it really hurt my face.

“Ow!” I shouted. After Scoots, Sweetie Belle was next. You know something? She kept saying what she wanted for 10 whole minutes! She got a whole list of junk she wanted Santa to get her. Does she think Santa’s made of money? Santa works hard getting all the kids what they wanted, every single year! I mean holy Wizard of Feelings, brah! Well then, it took a while, I kept saying excuses of trying to get Sweetie away, but Sweetie was actually the last filly in town that wanted to see Santa, but there was actually one more colt that needed to see me – Thunderlane’s brother Rumble.

“So Santa, is it true that you like to abuse your elves?” Rumble asked.

“HO HO HO! What makes you think that, Rumble?” I asked.

“I’ve seen videos online. You kept calling them kiddies, and you took them out on bottle runs and 99.999999% impossibles, and you keep forcing your elves to protect you with their nubile young bodies.” Rumble said.

“Aren’t you too young to be watching those videos?” I asked.

“Aren’t you too old?” Rumble asked.

“Good point.” I said.

“Well, Santa, I trust you.” Rumble smiled at me and said. “I made you a nice surprise treat when you come to our house Hearth’s Warming Eve. My address is 2993 Smith Blvd. 13319.”

“Why are you telling me your address? You can’t tell strangers your address.” I advised him. “You’ll get criminals in your house.”

“I trust you Santa. I’m giving you my address so you’d know it was me that gave you this treat.” Rumble said.

“Wait a minute; did you say Smith Blvd. 13319?” I asked.

“Yep!” Rumble said.

“Ok! I’ll come by your house then a little early because if I eat your treats now, I’d be less full when I eat other kiddy’s treats during Hearth’s Warming Eve.” I suggested, and SHUT UP! I don’t mean it like that! This is NOT that kind of story! Oh… you didn’t think that? I just made you think that now? I apologize, I always assume.

“Sounds like a plan, Santa! I’ll see you tonight!” Rumble nodded as he hoped off my lap and headed back home. Rumble was the last kid that wanted to see me, so it’s a good thing my shift is finally over. I put on mistletoe and almost left in a hurry. I couldn’t have my mistletoe on with the kiddies because… that would look weird. I had finally gotten my chance to get out of there, but it was ruined when Rarity came.

“My darling Santa Paws!” Rarity said in excitement.

“Hey Rarity! Ho ho ho! I got stuff to do right now, what is it?” I asked.

“I just need your help for a few little minutes.” Rarity said.

“C’mon sista!” I whined. “Rumble’s giving me treats, and-“

“Please, dear? It’ll only take five minutes! Just five minutes!” Rarity begged. I rolled my eyes.

“Alright, Rare. Five minutes.” I said.

“Yay!” Rarity cheered and clapped her hooves. “What you need to do is simple, just stand over here, hold this sign around you, and ring this bell.” Rarity instructed me as she gave me sign that has to do with a Hearth’s Warming sale, and she gave me a bell to ring.

“Can’t cha get Spike to do it?” I asked.

“Spike’s already helping me make a dress!” Rarity said, pointing to Spike who’s wearing a dress with needles on it.

I grabbed the bell with my mouth. “I’ll only do it for five minutes.” I said, but with the bell in my mouth, it sounded like I said; “I’ll only oo eh por pive miness”

“You’re a great stallion, Santa! Thank you very much!” Rarity said, giving me a kiss on the cheek, since I had a mistletoe on. Rarity walked inside town hall, so I stood there ringing the bell for 8 minutes, since I lost track of the time; there were 3 extra minutes I was there for. I was just about to leave when Rarity stopped me. “Wait, Santa!”

“What is it, Rare?” I asked with an annoying tone.

“Can’t cha stay a little longer? There’s a celebrity in town!” Rarity said excitedly.

“Unless it’s Mike Myers, I’m not interested! Rumble is giving me treats! I’ll handle your problems later. So HO HO HO! Santa Paws is coming to the rescue!” I said as I trotted away. Eventually, Mike Myers trotted by, passing right byRarity’s shop, having an interview with a couple of journalists. Rarity then facehooved herself.

So I went over to Rumble’s house (actually it was a trailer, I was at a trailer park, and none of these trailers looked as awesome as mine) so I get my treats, but when I got there, I was threatened by Thunderlane because he thought I was a robber. I mean, he does have a point though. Robbers wearing Santa outfits and breaking into pony’s homes and steal everything, so I wasn’t surprised. Oh well, I didn’t care that much for the treat anyway. I thought it was going to be cookies, but it was actually devilled eggs that’s been sitting out for a week.

As I was about to walk home, I saw a pony next door cheering in excitement after getting her mail. “HA! We got another donation, Mary!”

“Really? Wow, Mona, there are some fools out there that would believe anything, huh?” another voice asked from inside the house.

“And I think I smell oatmeal raisin in this envelope!” Mona (the first mare) said excitedly. At first I didn’t know what she was talking about, but after she said ‘oatmeal raisin’, I knew something was wrong. THAT was my donation to the Red Plus! What was it doing at that house? I saw up on the roof and there was a giant plus sign on top of the house. I guess that explains it. I couldn’t believe at all though. Those mares have Engie and mine’s donations! We were just scammed!

I had to let Engie know about this so I went over to his house and knocked on his door, the same exact way as I always do. “Howdy, Flare!” Engie said excitedly as he opens the door.

“Engie, we need to talk.” I said. So Engie lets me inside and pours me some hot egg nog. I didn’t like it that much though. I prefer dairy stuff cold.

“So Flare, how was havin’ kiddies sittin’ on yer lap go today?” Engie asked.

“Felt good!” I said.

“Yer sick.” Engie teased.

“Better give me an aspirin then.” I teased back.

“So what did you want to tell me?” Engie asked.

“About the donations we gave to Red Plus to help those fluffleponies.” I said.

“Ah know, it DID feel good to do somethin’ right, isn’t it Flare?” Engie asked.

“It does, I agree!” I nodded. “But there’s something else you might need to know about it.”

“Ah mean, ah felt so alive when ah helped those poor ponies.” Engie said. “It made me think that nothin’ can go wrong! Ah know ah’ll see mah family again, but in the meantime, ah can help do good, and… if ah didn’t feel good by doin’ somethin’ right, ah’d feel like a failure again, y’know?”

“I know, brah, but there’s-“ I stopped before I could continue. At last, I was finally thinking before I was saying. I can’t tell Engie that we were scammed; he’ll be heartbroken. The whole reason he’s not miserable anymore is because I helped him see that donating to those in need makes you feel good inside, but if I tell him it was just a scam, it’ll do undo everything. Oh wait, I kinda just repeated myself there.

“Flare, if ah didn’t have this, ah’d be sadder than a bully.” Engie said.

Wow, ruin with the touching moment with a cutaway gag. Ok then, if somepony starts a cutaway gag, I have no choice but to explain it. The gag shows a couple of ponies walking around the streets of Ponyville. One was carrying a cup of coffee. Just then, a big bad pony showed up and glared at them. “Oh look, it’s Gerald the Jerk.” One of the ponies said to the big pony.

Just then the big pony takes the cup of coffee that pony was carrying and splashes it on his face, and then he grabs the other pony’s tail and ties it to a light pole. “UGH! Why does he have to be such a jerk!?” one of the victums yelled.

Just as Gerald walked away, he started to tear up, and then he mumbled to himself, “I don’t want anypony to cry when I die.” Wow, that wasn’t a cutaway gag; that was a cutaway tragedy. If only I knew some of my bullies felt that way. Regardless, it ends there.

“There’s nothin’ wrong about me donatin’ is it?” Engie asked.

I couldn’t bear to tell him. It’s what’s keeping him happy right now. “No… there isn’t.” I lied. “SHUT UP, NARRATOR!”

“Good.” Engie nodded. “So anyways, enough of this sappy talk. How about we go get some ciders?” After today, maybe a nice delicious cider is just what I need. So the two of us joined the rest of the Noble Six over there and we talked.

“So I went to the souvenir store today, right?” Blaze started.

“Why are you asking us? How are we supposed to know?” Crystal asked.

“Anyways, I was looking for cups; one that says ‘World’s Greatest Wife’, one that says ‘World’s Greatest Mom’, and then another that says ‘World’s Greatest Sister In-Law’.” Blaze said.

“Well… that’s nice.” Aqua said.

“I thought so too, at first, but the in-law one had spikes on the edges, and the store clerk asked if I wanted poison to go with it.” Blaze said.

“Nopony likes their in-laws, Blaze.” Psyche said.

“I need a jelly-baby. Got any to offer?” Blaze asked.

“What am I, a storage bin? I don’t carry them ALL the time.” Psyche reminded him.

“So, did any of you hear the good Flare and ah did earlier today?” Engie asked.

“Yes we did, a bunch of times already.” Aqua reminded him.

“Well ah’ll say it again just because ah like talkin’ about it, and ah don’t care how annoyed you get.” Engie said.

“Hey Flare!” Crèmepop yelled as she popped out of nowhere, standing under my mistiletoe. “Didn’t you forget something?”

“Did I forget to give you your candy cane before when you were sitting on my lap?” I asked.

“No, not that.” Crème said.

“My Hearth’s Warming shopping?” I asked. “OH CRUD! I forgot about that! Hearth’s Warming is in three days!”

“No, my kiss!” Crème shouted.

“Oh, that’s right!” I remembered, bopping myself in the head. “I could’ve had a V8!” So I leaned over about to give her a kiss, but then Engie popped up right in the middle.

“Nice man-smooch, Flare!” Engie said. “Also, ah have to use the bathroom, so y’all can talk about mah Hearth’s Warming presents in secret as ah go.” Engie steps out of the booth and heads over to the restroom to take care of business.

“RRRRRRAAAAAAAAH!” Crème yelled in frustration as she stomped away.

“Engie’s been in an excited mood lately.” Psyche said.

“Well I’m glad he walked out, because I need to talk to you four.” I said.

“Well I got him one of those metal overalls that has a big amount of storage in it, and its magic-proof!” Crystal said. “But it’s not known for its comforted unfortunately.”

“No that’s not what I was going to talk about.” I said.

“What seems to be the problem, mate?” Aqua asked.

“What makes you think it’s a problem, Aqua?” Crystal asked.

“Just by the sound of his tone.” Aqua said.

“He could just sound tired, you don’t know that. Flare, are you tired?” Crystal asked me.

“Kinda from the long day of being Santa.” I said.

“See? I was right!” Crystal said.

“But I’m still upset though.” I said.

“Wow Aqua, we were BOTH right! That’s a first!” Crystal said excitedly.

“What happened, man?” Blaze asked.

“Well… Engie thinks we donated to the Red Plus foundation.” I said.

“It turned out to be a scam, right?” Psyche asked.

“WOW! Thanks for ruining my story, Psyche! I wanted to be the one to explain it!” I complained.

“Whoa, sorry! It was just a guess!” Psyche defended himself.

“Psyche, you’re smart and hot, but you don’t need to rub your nose in it.” I advised him.

“Well since you said I’m smart and hot, I’ll let that slide.” Psyche said.

“You’ve been calling Psyche hot many times lately, are you attracted to him?” Crystal asked me.

“Look, my point is, we were scammed by a couple of trailer park queens. They’ve been ripping off Engie for a long time. I tried to tell Engie, but I couldn’t take this away from him. Donating to help a cause is the only thing making him happy right now. I can’t take this away from him.” I explained.

Crystal leaned over and whispered to Aqua and Blaze, “Yeah, he didn’t answer my question. He’s TOTALLY attracted to Psyche and not admitting it!” she starts chuckling.

“Well, Flare, I must congratulate ya on doing the right thing.” Aqua said.

“I wouldn’t so sure of that, Aqua. If Flare doesn’t tell him, would Engie just keep donating blindly?” Blaze asked.

“See? That’s my problem. I don’t know what to do.” I said.

“Perhaps we should pay a visit to those trailer park queens.” Crystal suggested.

I nodded. “Good idea, Crystal. I don’t want Engie to be hurt on lies, but I don’t want Engie to throw his money away, so maybe the best thing we should do is deal with those trailer park queens.” I said.

“Uhh yeah, that’s what I TOTALLY meant!” Crystal chuckled.

“Alright, but we’ll need a plan though.” Psyche said.

“Right, so how about we walk in, take all the money the queens keep taking and keep it for ourselves?” Crystal suggested.

“What?” I asked.

“I mean give it back to Engie.” Crystal corrected herself.

“As much as I’m tempted for either of those ideas, I think it’s going to take more than that; I think we should talk to them first, and if not, teach them a lesson.” I suggested.

“I guess that plans might work as any other.” Aqua shrugged. “I just hope that plans work better than the time Engie tried to hide the fact that he said a fat joke to ya sister.”

A cutaway shows my sister Water going over to Engie wearing a black and white dress. “Hey Engie! Can you do me a favor?” she asked.

“What do you need?” Engie asked.

“I got this new dress today and I want you tell me if it looks fat.” Water requested.

“You look a lot like a giant oreo. Ah outta call you double-stuff.” Engie teased.

“Is that supposed to be a fat joke?” Water asked insultingly.

“AND a cookie joke!” Engie said excitedly.

Water glares at him. “You better call for an adult, Engie.” The cutaway ends.

“Yeah OF COURSE you would make a cutaway of my sister, Aqua!” I yelled.

“What’s so wrong with that?” Aqua asked. So the five of us headed over to the trailer park to check out those scammers. Now I gotta say, I didn’t know there was a trailer park in Ponyville. Well… there isn’t. There’s just a small trailer park out in the countryside. Smith Blvd. connects to that area though, so that’s why it’s still Smith Blvd. The five of us went up to the door and one of us knocked on it. I won’t say who though, that is for you to find out. Winky face.

The trailer pony by the name of Mary opens the door and glares at us. “What do you want?” Mary was pink and was pretty…. Umm…. a bit on the heavy side. NO! Not fat! I told you already, femares aren’t fat! Also one of Mary’s eyes was closed, she had a big mole on her right cheek, she wore a white T-shirt with the bottom knotted up, and she had an anchor for a cutie mark. Yeah I know, she might be the daughter of Popeye. “Well? Are any of you going to ask what you’re doing on MY property?”

“Mommy who’s out there?” a young colt asked.

“Complete strangers. Don’t talk to them, honey.” Mary advised her child.

“Yeah hi, we’re here to talk to you on behalf of… Red Plus.” Aqua said.

“Yeah? Willin’ to donate?” Mary asked.

“Perhaps you can say that.” Aqua said.

“What are you talking about, Aqua? NO WE’RE NOT! We’re trying to Engie’s money back and asking them to stop scamming!” Crystal corrected him.

“Scamming? What are you talking about?” Mary asked.

“This scamming ideal is wrong. My friend donated to you, hoping to help out a poor little flufflepony by the name of Pal, but after we found out the truth, we need you to stop doing that.” I said.

“Fluffleponies? I do not know what you mean. Now please get off my property or I’ll call the cops.” Mary warned us.

“We wanna know why you’re doing this, and we want you to stop, for our friend’s sake!” Blaze said.

“You’re really not going to leave me alone, are you?” Mary asked.

“Not until you stop scamming. It’s against the law.” Psyche said.

“Well then… if you’re going to mess with me, you’re going to mess with the entire neighborhood.” Mary said as she blew the red whistle that was on her neck. The entire trailer park slammed open their doors and they all started coming out of their trailers and walking towards us angrily. Some of them had baseball bats, pitchforks, machetes, and one even had a paddleball. Crystal’s REALLY weak against those things!

“Not a paddle ball!” Crystal begged.

“Mary, who are these strangers and what are they doing on our land?” a skinny blue pony asked.

“These ponies, Mona, are trying to get me to admit that I scammed their friend.” Mary said.

“So you DID do it!” Psyche busted her.

“Uhh… perhaps I said too much.” Mary said nervously.

“Yep, cause that’s you in the corner, and that’s you in the spotlight.” I teased.

“What?” Mary asked.

“You gosh dern strangers get off our properties!” a redneck stallion demanded us. “We ain’t got nothin’ to prove!”

“Yeah, so why don’t you all hit the road before we knock your teeth out?” a pony that seems really familiar threatened us.

“Lord Thorn?! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“How do you know who I am?” Lord Thorn asked. “Wait a minute… WAIT A MINUTE! I know you! You, that blue pony, and that engineer were the ones that ruined my career! Where is that sucker anyway?”

“Engie is the one Mary here is scamming.” Psyche said.

“Well good! He deserves it!” Lord Thorn yelled.

“Yeah, and not to mention you three were the reasons we’re all broke!” Mary said.

“Broke?” Aqua asked.

“YEAH! None of us have any experience in the field of careers, and we all look so ugly that none will hire us, so the only thing left to do is scam ponies! Lord Thorn here was the only decent looking one in our clan, so he had to sell some fake movie props to nerds around Equestria to help us all make a living!” Mary explained.

“That’s why Mary had to create a fake Red Plus association to rip ponies off into thinking they’re donating to the needy.” Lord Thorn said.

“But we are needy ponies, Trevor. We need money to live, and I need money for spittin’ stuff.” Mona said as she spits inside a pot next to her.

“Exactly! That is what I meant.” Lord Thorn said.

“No you didn’t, don’t lie, Thorn!” Mona demanded.

“So if anypony here is to blame for this, it’s you!” Mary said.

“But money isn’t a problem anymore. Thanks to your friend Engie. We have more money than we need!” Lord Thorn said. “Mary got that ironing board she always wanted. Her kids got mountain dirt bikes, I got my pendant back that I had to sell for food, and even Mona here has that spitting pot she always wanted.”

“I had to spit in a paper bag originally.” Mona said as she spit in the pot again.

“But just because you got all this money doesn’t make it right!” I said.

“What do you know about what’s right or wrong? We’re tryin’ to make a livin’. You can’t accept that? We’ll have no choice but to teach ya lesson.” Mary said. All the trailer park ponies began to glare at us and they looked like they were about to beat us up. We had no time for this so we all ran away like the cowards we are.

“Oh shut up, I’m not a coward!” Blaze yelled. “I’m only doing this cause we had no time to fight. I’m no coward!”

“I dunno, Blaze. That paddle ball looked pretty lethal.” Crystal said.

“Yeah let’s not say anything we might regret Blaze, we are cowards.” Psyche said. So we got outta there in a hurry. Just making our way downtown… walking fast, faces passed and we’re homebound. We headed over to my trailer and hid there since anypony (that’s not Swinebutt) would be able to come inside. Aqua sat down on my couch to catch his breath after all that running we did.

“I can’t believe we made it out.” Aqua said in relief.

“I don’t care if you believe it or not, you’re in my spot.” I pointed out to Aqua. He scotched over so I can sit down on it and catch my breath as well.

“Wow, I DID NOT expect Lord Thorn to be in on it!” Crystal said.

“Who’s Lord Thorn?” Aqua asked.

“He’s a travelling… well… he used to be a travelling merchant selling fake movie props to nerds around Equestria. Crystal, Engie, and I caught him in the act and we put him out of business.” I explained.

“So we’re now messing with an illegal operation now, are we?” Blaze asked.

“It would appear so. We have to think of something.” Aqua said.

“We should tell Engie the truth, man. There’s no stopping this gang.” Blaze said.

“I AM NOT going to break Engie’s heart because of a bunch of scammers!” I said. “We have to find another way to do this.”

“Why don’t we just take the money out of Engie’s mailbox after he puts it in?” Crystal asked.

“No, he’s got his whole house, including his mailbox under surveillance. We can’t do it without being caught.” Psyche said.

“How about we make him change the address?” Aqua asked.

“No… this isn’t just about Engie anymore, brahs. There’s an illegal operation going on near Ponyville, and we need to stop it.” I said.

“And how do ya propose we do that?” Aqua asked.

“Whoa! Who said anything about proposing?” I asked. “None of us are getting married.”

“That’s not what I said.” Aqua corrected me.

“Yeah you did.” I corrected him.

“Whatever. I’m just asking, what’s ya plan?” Aqua asked.

“We should- wait… WATER ARE YOU HOME?!” I yelled. There was no response. “Oh good, I didn’t want her to hear this. If we’re going to take down the scammers we should try to fight fire with fire.”

“You mean like putting out a fire with gasoline?” Crystal asked.

“I’m not sure if you’re saying that literally or trying to make a metaphor.” I said.

“Why not both?” Crystal asked.

“Good point.” I nodded. “Anyways, if we’re going to take out these scammers, the best way to do that is if we scam them back.”

“So we’re going to scam the scammers, huh?” Blaze asked.

“I KNEW SOMEPONY WAS GOING TO SAY THAT!” Psyche yelled as he slammed on my coffee table.

“Hey careful with my coffee table, Psyche.” I advised him. “Anyways… we need to think of a plan to scam them back.”

“Scam them with what?” Aqua asked.

“Think about it! What do greedy ol trailer ponies want the most?” I asked.

“A pot to put their spit in?” Crystal asked.

“One of them has those already.” Psyche reminded her.

“Metal overalls, like the ones I was going to give Engie for Hearth’s Warming?” Crystal asked.

“And of course I keep forgetting to do my shopping.” I complained.

“Snap, Flare! Don’t wait till the last minute!” Crystal advised me.

“Yeah thanks for the advice, Crystal.” I said sarcastically.

“Vice… he said vice. Vice City.” Crystal said.

“Any other ideas?” I asked.

“How about we trick them into buying a lifetime supply of bubble gum with the money?” Crystal asked.

“Rednecks have rotten teeth though.” Aqua reminded her.

“Don’t be stereotypical, Aqua! Not all rednecks are like that!” Crystal informed him.

“And not all rednecks live in trailers.” Blaze said. “But all who live in trailers are rednecks.” I then glared at Blaze after that statement. “I was joking, man!”

“Yeah if you’re gonna joke around at least make a cutaway gag about my sister.” I advised him.

“Well…” Aqua started.

“Not you, Aqua.” I added.

“Oh.” Aqua said upsettingly.

“C’mon brahs, think of ideas! We need to scam these ponies back! It’s the only way we can teach them a lesson!” I said.

“How about my lifetime supply of bubble gum idea?” Crystal asked.

“Ok… since nopony can think of anything else, we’ll go with your idea, Crystal.” I said.

“Are you sure?” Psyche asked. “Because I thought of a brilliant idea of credit frauding. I sell them a sports carriage and trick them out of every bit they have. When I tell them it’s not enough, they’ll need to find more money; afterwards, we’ll sneak into the trailer park and take the carriage back, pretend it’s a repo job, and then we give Engie back the money and give him a new address to the real Red Plus foundation.”

“And how do we get a sports carriage?” Aqua asked.

“What about Fonz’s? Do you still have that, Flare?” Blaze asked.

“No I still have this Flare.” I teased. “Ha! I’m joking, yeah I got it, but I was going to sell it anyway. That’s a good idea, Psyche! That way we can teach that gang a lesson from scamming and be able to make Engie proud of himself and he’ll actually be doing a favor for our world by donating to actual ponies in need.”

“Yeah I also looked online, and there was no Naughty Fred war with the fluffleponies. Their homeland is fine.” Psyche said.

“Well good! So tomorrow morning I’ll get my sports carriage out of my lockup and you can scam the scammers.” I said.

“Ok somepony saying that phrase a second time, I didn’t expect that.” Psyche said.

“Actually… I already sold a lifetime supply of gum to Trevor from the trailer park online. Our deed is already done.” Crystal said. “We have around 150,000 bits to give to Engie. We did it!”

“Oh.” I said upsettingly. “I mean I really liked that credit fraud idea! That sounded pretty fun!”

“Are ya sure we’re setting a good example by scamming the scammers?” Aqua asked.

“Third time’s the charm, huh?” Psyche asked. I must say, Aqua did have a point there. For what it’s worth, we actually did to the scammers what they did to us. Is scamming them back a good example? If we’re to teach them a lesson, we should actually show them how to make money the right way. Scamming them back… wouldn’t they just continue what they’re doing?

“You’re right, Aqua.” I agreed. “We can’t scam them back. The only way we could teach these trailer park ponies a lesson is if we settle a good example for them. We need to actually give them that bubble gum they want.”

“That was the plan the whole time, wasn’t it?” Crystal asked.

“I thought your plan was to trick them into buying a lifetime supply of gum?” I asked.

“No I was actually going to give it to them. Thundy and I have been saving gum for ages in our basement.” Crystal said.

“Well in that case, let’s give them what we owe them! We’ll be fair enough, and the scammers might learn a thing or two from our brilliant example!” I nodded.

“Can ya feel the holiday cheer in the air, mates?” Aqua asked.

“We sure can, Aqua.” Psyche nodded.

“Are you sure? Because I thought it was carbon dioxide in the air.” I teased.

“No that’s holiday cheer, my friend.” Psyche corrected me as he smiled.

“Oh… no wonder I couldn’t breathe.” I said as I started choking and then I collapsed on the floor. We need carbon dioxide to live! Holiday cheer may bring happiness, but it being in the air is too deadly.

“HA! Got you, Flare! I heard your whole conversation!” Water teased as she popped her head out from the holiday. “Now I have to be a part of it!” Wow, what a terrible sister. Not only did she lie to me, but also I was dying of lack of breath, and she couldn’t even call for an ambulance. Thanks a lot, Water!

The next day over at Crystal’s house, we picked up the supply of gum, and we used Fonz’s sports carriage to carry it all. “Thundy’s gonna kill me when he finds out about this.” Crystal said.

“If you’re afraid he’s going to kill you, then you should go into the Witness Protection Program.” I suggested.

“WHERE?!” Engie freaked out.

“Engie? What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Ah get a better question: what have y’all been doin’ without me?” Engie asked. The five of us looked at eachother awkwardly, not knowing what to say next.

“FLARE, WAIT!” Crème yelled out, running towards me, and just in time too.

“Crèmepop! You couldn’ve come at a better time!” I said in relief.

“Well Flare you still owe me something.” Crème reminded me.

“Oh, we still need kissy kissy!” I said.

“Exactly!” Crème said, holding her cheek out.

“Hang on a sec, Crème. DOES ANYPONY WANT ANY MAN-SMOOCHES!? TELL ME NOW, SO YOU DON’T INTERUPT MINE!” I yelled out to anypony who could hear me. “Any man-smooches? Huh? Any at all? Any takers?” All my friends just looked at each other weirdly, and some shook their heads. “Alright then!” So I leaned over to give Crème a kiss, but then Crystal popped out and placed a frying pan between us, and I kissed it.

“HA! Nice PAN-smooch, Flare!” Crystal teased as she started laughing.

“GROANS!” I yelled out.

“Yeah you’re telling me, Flare! UGH!” Crème groaned as she angrily stomped away.

“Why does she keep marching away? You two can try kissing again until there’s no more interruptions. Is that so hard?” Psyche asked.

“Alright Psyche, you know what? Just… I dunno, let’s just go.” I said in an annoyed tone. So we all continued heading over to the trailer park with the bubble gum, but since I was still wearing my Santa outfit, I decided to improvise this. So I connected all my friends on the sports carriage, made them put on elf outfits and I hopped onto the sports carriage and started whipping them all, forcing them to pull the carriage.

“D’ALRIGHT YOU KIDDIES!” I yelled. “WE GONNA DO A BOTTLE RUN! PROTECT ME WITH YOUR NUBLILE YOUNG BODIES!”

“Why did we agree to do this?” Aqua complained.

Blaze sighs and said, “I have NO clue whatsoever!”

“I dunno why I eavesdropped on you and said I had to come along.” Water complained.

“Where are we goin’ anyway?” Engie asked.

“To a trailer park to drop off a life-time supply of gum.” Aqua said.

“Pssst, Flare?” Psyche whispered. “Are you sure it was a good idea for Engie to come along?”

“I have no clue, but I don’t want him to be suspicious.” I whispered back. “Also, shut up, Psyche.”

“Whoa there!” Water cried as we approached the trailer park. One of the trailers in the park was burning up, and as I expected, it was Mary’s trailer.

“Good grief.” Mary said in grief as her child was crying on her leg.

“What happened here?” Blaze asked.

“Mary left her iron on when she came to visit me.” Mona said.

“SHUT UP, MONA! It’s none of their business! Get outta here!” Mary demanded.

“Well, actually, we’re here to give Trevor here his lifetime supply of gum he ordered.” Crystal said.

“YAY! It’s here!” Trevor cried in excitement as he takes one of the gums and begins chewing it. “Ow… ow… ow… ow…” as he was chewing, two of his rotten teeth fell out. Ok I guess Blaze did have a point there of all ponies that live in trailers are rednecks.

“Red Engineer… long time no see.” Lord Thorn said.

“Lord Thorn?” Engie asked. “Flare what’s goin’ on? What’s the real reason we’re here?”

“To scam us all.” Lord Thorn said.

“What? No we’re not!” Blaze complained.

“Yeah, we bought Trevor here the gum as he ordered.” Crystal said.

“Trevor’s an idiot, and you knew that well. You scammed us to get your money back! I know all those tricks, friend!” Lord Thorn yelled at me.

“Why are you just yelling at me? It was Crystal’s idea.” I informed him.

“Flare, what’s goin’ on here?” Engie asked. It’s no use. I was busted. So I had to explain everything to him, and so I did. “Really now? Is that a fact?” he asked upsettingly.

“You didn’t even let me talk.” I reminded him. “Anyways… Pal doesn’t exist. All those donations you gave out… you were scammed, brah. You were giving your money to a couple of low-lives living a life of tricking ponies to give away all their money.”

“Really now? Is that a fact?” Engie asked again.

“I’m sorry, man. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t want you to feel heartbroken.” I admitted. “Donating made you happy and since you couldn’t go back home to do Hearth’s Warming with your family, I had to keep you happy somehow.”

Engie looked down to the ground in silence for a moment. “So ah’ve been givin’ money away for nothin’, huh?” he asked.

“That’s basically what I’m saying, yeah, go ahead and repeat everything I said.” I said. Psyche, Blaze, and Aqua all glared at me. “Don’t gimmie that look! I have to be a jerk once in a while!”

“Well… congratulations. You have your money back.” Mary said upsettingly. “Next time… I won’t trust Trevor in keeping our money safe.”

“Is this karma punishing us, mommy?” Mary’s kid asked with tears in his eyes.

“No, baby. Karma is punishing me. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was being a bad influence by scamming these poor pony folk.” Mary explained sadly.

“Scamming poor pony folk? Aren’t you the poor ones and we’re the wealthy ones?” Crystal asked. We all then glared at Crystal.

“Yay! Now I’m not the only jerk!” I cried in excitement.

“Actually… Mary, right?” Engie asked.

“I’m Mona.” Mona corrected him.

“Mah bad.” Engie said as he looked over at Mary. “Mary… ah know what you did was wrong, and ah should turn you in to the authories.”

“Please don’t. I have a kid.” Mary begged. “I can’t leave them with these losers! Mona spends her day spitting.” Mona then spits in her pot. “Trevor’s a moron, and Lord Thorn… well… he has a shifty look in his eyes, and I don’t trust it that much.”

“Wow… telling me that now, yo.” Lord Thorn complained.

“But ah won’t.” Engie said. “This is Hearth’s Warming, and ah can’t just stand by and see a family fall apart over a scamming scheme. Ah mean, you didn’t hurt anypony.”

“I scraped my knee a bit while running out of the trailer.” Mary’s kid informed him.

“Well… regardless… what ah have been doin’ all this time was to help out a poor homeless kid.” Engie said. “Maybe it’s about time ah really did it.” Engie takes out a check for 50,000 bits and gives it to Mary.

Mary was very surprised. “Wow… you’d do that for us? After we’ve been stealing your money, you’d give me more… just to rebuild my life?”

“What kind of individual would ah be if ah didn’t help teach criminals a lesson the right way?” Engie asked. “Ah mean… it doesn’t always work to those who are stubborn and greedy, but to those who are desperate, might just have a chance, and you know what? Ah’ll help you all get on yer hooves, and help you get a real job. That way, no more scammin’! You’d actually earn yer money!”

“That doesn’t seem like a…” Mona spits in her pot, “… bad idea.”

“I agree.” Mary said.

“Ah should be a dentist!” Trevor cried in excitement.

“Thank you, Red Engineer… for everything.” Mary said as she started crying tears of joy and started hugging him real tight.

“Ok… this is too tight. Yer gettin’ armpit sweat on me.” Engie informed her.

“Wow… can’t ya all feel that holiday cheer in the air?” Aqua asked us with a smile on his face. My friends all nodded in agreement, and I started choking again and passed out.

“UGH!” Lord Thorn groaned. “These rednecks don’t have any guts! I don’t scam because I’m poor; I scam to take risks! Makes me feel alive! I’m outta here!” Lord Thorn attaches himself to his trailer and trots off to the horizon. Well, we didn’t teach Lord Thorn a lesson, but we did reform a couple of trailer park ponies. You see, the true meaning of Hearth’s Warming is to give. I know this might not make sense to give those who gave you harm in the past, but Engie had a very good reason to give Mary the money. I mean, he’s loaded. Don’t help out ponies that way if you’re poor yourself, but you might be able to help them out a different way, but you get my point, or I hope so at least.

Well, it’s all over now. Hearth’s Warming is saved! Counting that Hearth’s Warming wasn’t at risk in the first place, but Engie’s money is saved and we taught the trailer park ponies a lesson, and that’s what really matters! Later that day, we all took the train over to Canterlot for our Hearth’s Warming play. It was actually Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I was playing Santa of course, Fluttershy was Rudolph, Sam the Snowpony was played as Spike, Dasher was played by Rainbow Dash (as expected since the names are similar), Woodenshy was Dancer, Spark Note was Prancer, Mynx was Vixen, Psyche was Comet, Crystal was Cupid, Blaze was Donner, Black Thunder was Blitzen, Twilight was the Elf Foreman, Pinkie was Mrs. Claus, Engie was the Abominable Snowpony, AppleJack was Clarice, and were there other characters I left out? Well, I can’t record the whole play, but if you seen the movies or read the books, I think you’d know how it would turn out.

“Well, Flare! Ah gotta say, that was some fine rehearsal!” Engie said excitedly.

“Glad you liked it! The play’s tomorrow! Tomorrow is Hearth’s Warming Eve!” I said excitedly.

“Flare Gun! Red Engineer!” Luna said, trotting towards us.

“What’s up, Moon?” I asked.

“Nothing. I was just checking up on you guys! Fantastic job on the play, by the way! “Luna said.

“Thanks! It was really fun!” I said.

“I heard Engineer here learned a valuable lesson this week. Didn’t you Red?” Luna asked.

“Eeyup!” Engie said. “Flare and the others taught me somethin’!”

“Which was…” Luna waited.

“You think ah remember?” Engie asked. “It’s already hard enough rememberin’ this script.”

“I learned something too!” I said, and then I burped.

“Well…. What is it?” Luna asked.

“That’s it!” I said.

“The burp?” Luna asked.

“Yeah the burp.” I said.

“So what are you doin’ for Hearth’s Warming, Luna?” Engie asked.

“Just going to stay here in the castle with Celestia.” Luna said.

“Shoot! You should come with us, Luna!” Engie suggested.

“Oh.... I couldn’t!” Luna blushed.

“C’mon! Ya’ve been alone for so long in Hearth’s Warmin’, it’s the least we could do!” Engie smiled.

“Thank you, Engineer!” Luna said.

“Well we better get to the inn before Pinkie eats all the Gingerbread houses in town…. Again!” AppleJack suggested.

“I agree! Let’s go!” I said. So the next day we did the play, and then we headed back home just in time for Hearth’s Warming day itself.

The next day came, Twilight was fast asleep on her bed. Spike started jumping on her bed saying; “It’s Hearth’s Warming, Twilight! Wake up! Its Hearth’s Warming! C’MON! WAKE UP!” Twilight yawned and half-opened her eyes.

“Sweet Celestia, Spike! Usually I’m the one who wakes you up, and you go back to sleep!” Twilight said, slowly stepping out of bed.

“Well, I don’t get presents those days!” Spike reminded her.

“Good point! Merry Hearth’s Warming, Spike!” Twilight said, hugging him.

“Merry Hearth’s Warming, Twilight!” Spike said. They both ran downstairs, and set everything up for when the guests come, since Hearth’s Warming is taking place at her house.

Before Spike could get the punch done, the guests have already arrived. The Apple family came first, followed by Pinkie and the Cakes, Aqua and Wind Racer, Blaze with Rainbow Dash and Candy Cotton, Fluttershy, Psyche, Water and I, Engineer, Rarity along with Sweetie Belle and Scoots, Crystal with Thunder, and Crèmepop. You may know why the Mane Six were there because of course they’d have Hearth’s Warming together, but we were there because Blaze had to be with Rainbow Dash, and we wanted to be with Blaze, so it was kinda crowded in there. Each of us had presents to give to one another.

Pinkie got a 3DS for Psyche, it’s pretty much what he always wanted; it was a lot better than the present I got him. It was a deed to one of the stars beyond the Galaxy. How did I buy it? I didn’t. I just gave him a piece of paper with the word ‘Deed to one of the stars beyond the Galaxy’ on it.

Crystal said when she came in that her favorite Hearth’s Warming activity is when the Ground Hog sees it’s shadow. Her foster-mom used to let her go outside by herself when her personal coach came over. None of us had the heart to tell her that it’s the wrong holiday for that because Aqua said it might cause more problems than solve them. Twilight asked Big Mac if he wanted a slice of her fruitcake that she was making in the oven, she kept saying he should try a little nibble, but all Big Mac did was stare at her weirdly. Twilight didn’t know what he was thinking about. She thinks she said something wrong.

I got Spike a new XBUCKS 360 so he doesn’t have to keep borrowing mine, but he was unaware that he keeps getting a red-ring. Blaze suggested that he should play a game. Take a gem from him every time he gets the red-ring of death. Spike accepted the challenge but kept losing, but he just doesn’t have the guts to give up!

Rainbow Dash wanted to really impress Spitfire, so Scootaloo got her this detergent to make her Wonderbolt cadet clothes smell like the exotic flyer she is. Candy Cotton kept complaining about a weird smell, like somepony jumps in the dumpster behind Boorlie’s BBQ, but Rainbow kept whispering that it was Engie that did it.

Aqua doesn’t know much about the video games since he’s from a village where it had 1700s technology, so Engie got him his old Windows 2000 PC. He doesn’t know much about it, but Engie gave it to him because Windows 2000 is like the worst type there is. He hasn’t tried any other types, so he won’t be complaining much.

Twilight gave Fluttershy this awesome book: Better Owner, Better Mare. It’ll help her bond to her animals more. It’s really funny because when Fluttershy tried that stuff on Angel; she had to do skateboarding stunts with him. Fluttershy was really afraid, but Thunder was there to help her out.

Speaking of Twilight giving books, all that she gave us was books, books, books! I suggested behind Twilight’s back that we should roast marshmallows later with all the books! We all chuckled and agreed, but Pinkie and Crystal was thinking of something else; they thought actually eating marshmallows along with the books.

Later on we were singing Hearth’s Warming songs, but Pinkie suggested a different type of style: Polka style! What Pinkie did there… it made me sad. I could’ve swarn Pinkie was going to give me a new accordion, but nope she didn’t. Nopony gave me a new accordion; it’s what I’ve been wanting throughout the time Water was in town. Speaking of Water, I tried to get Water and Aqua under my mistletoe but they both just kept blushing and avoided it, but I should stop with that because I accidently put Blaze and AppleJack together.

“Oh… umm… yeah this is awkward, sugarcube.” AppleJack blushed.

“NO! NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!” Blaze freaked out.

“Wow… you didn’t need to make it a big deal ‘bout it, Blaze.” AppleJack complained in an insulted tone.

We had fun for the rest of the time there together! We were using our gifts, chatting, playing in the snow outside, and later that night we were roasting marshmallows on a fire. Got some firewood from Everfree, Spike breathed fire on it, but Big Mac was afraid that the logs were to fall on Celestia’s head, since Spike uses his firebreath to send letters to Celestia, but does the same rule apply for logs too, and where did we get the tinder from? Take a wild guess! It’s a good thing Twilight didn’t know, but most of us said no to burning the books, but some of us went on with the plan anyway.

Finally, Crème was awaiting her kiss, but I wanted to make sure no man-smooches go in the way, so Crème and I walked away from Twilight’s frontyard, exited town, traveled through jungles and mountains, traveled beyond Equestria, dodging anything that tries to block our path, and our destination after traveling around the world: Twilight’s backyard! I looked around to see if anypony was around, and I was just about to give her that kiss I owe her, and…did. I gave her a chocolate kiss. Yep! What? You wanted me to cheat on my special somepony Pinkie Pie for another mare? Hay no! I couldn’t do that! I’m loyal! Anyways, that was MY Hearth’s Warming, but what about my fish? My fish had a nice Hearth’s Warming time as well! They just finished their holiday feast.

“Ah! A wonderful Hearth’s Warming!” Yoyo said excitedly.

“It’s too bad we didn’t get any REAL presents.” Darrel said.

“Darrel!” Dorthey shouted at him.

“What? It’s true! We don’t have much to give to one another, counting we stay in this tank all the time.” Darrel complained.

“He’s right, Dorthey.” Rainbow said.

Piddles yawned as he was laying down and then he mumbled, “When did he become right?”

Just then, Apollo eventually flies inside with a bag in his mouth. “Hello, my aquatic friends!” he greeted.

“Who are you suppose to be?” Yoyo teased.

“It is snowing outside. I’m trying to stay warm.” Apollo said.

“That’s not what I said, but whatever.” Yoyo shrugged.

“SANTA!” Darrel shouted with joy.

“I thought Flare was Santa?” Pearl asked.

“You got presents for us, Apollo?” Darrel asked.

“Darrel! Don’t be rude!” Dorthey demanded.

“It’s fine, Dorthey. In fact, that is why I’ve come!” Apollo said.

“That’s awesome, Apollo! What did you get us?” Rainbow asked.

“First, for Yoyo!” Apollo said, dropping a package into the tank.

“What is this? Is it food?” Yoyo asked, shaking the package.

“Of course it isn’t.” Dorthey said, rolling her eyes.

“Actually it’s a tiny room service menu. Food will be delievered to you whenever you are hungry, if you just call the number, my friend!” Apollo said.

“That is soooo nice of you! Thanks, buddy!” Yoyo said excitedly.

“And for Darrel!” Apollo said, dropping his present in the tank.

“BOMB!” Darrel freaked out and hid behind Rainbow.

“That’s not a bomb, is it?” Rainbow asked.

Apollo chuckled. “No, it’s a present! Open it!” Darrel slowly swims over to the present, swimming back and forth, feeling it around, listening to it, and then shaking it.

“Oh just open it already!” Pearl demanded impatiently. Darrel opens it slowly, and then once it completely opens, Darrel gasps and hides behind the column.

“Don’t be afraid, my little friend! It’s just a slide just for you!” Apollo said. “I know how much you like to have fun and play, so I figured this slide would work!”

“Is it a bomb slide? Does it explode?” Darrel asked.

“No, it’s a normal slide.” Apollo corrected him. Darrel slowly swam over to the slide and rode on it.

“That was………. I’d rather let it be a bomb.” Darrel admitted.

“And now for Rainbow!” Apollo said, dropping him the package.

“Hey, it’s a box! I’ve always wanted a box! Thank you, Apollo!” Rainbow teased.
Apollo chuckles. “No, it’s what’s INSIDE the box!” So Rainbow opened the present. “It’s a water proof megaphone! I know you like to take charge, so this is so everyone can hear you when you do.”

“Oh! Thanks, Apollo!” Rainbow said.

“But don’t you already have a me-“ Dorthey was about to ask, but Apollo cuts her off.

“And now for Dorthey.” Apollo said, dropping her present inside.

“I hope it’s a megaphone too.” Dorthey said, opening it.

“It’s a list of good qualities about you, Dorthey!” Apollo said.

“What does it say? I can’t read!” Dorthey complained.

“It’s full of good things about you! I know how much you appreciate…. Well…. Yourself.” Apollo said.

“Thanks a lot, Apollo! You made me look stubborn!” Dorthey said angrily.

“Stubborn doesn’t mean what you think it does.” Apollo said.

Dorthey was silent for a few seconds, but she finally said, “Thanks.”

“Here’s your’s Pearl!” Apollo said, dropping hers in the tank.

“Oh, my dear Apollo! You shouldn’t have!” Pearl said.

“Ok!” Darrel said, and takes it. “I’ll take it then!”

“HEY!” Pearl yelled.

“Now Darrel, that belongs to Pearl.” Apollo informed him.

“Yeah, DARREL!” Pearl repeated.

“FINE!” Darrel yelled, throwing the present at Pearl, and it floats over to her. Darrel angrily swims away.

“You mad bro?” Yoyo commented.

“It’s a mirror!” Apollo said after Pearl opened it.

“Wow! Another mirror added to my collection! Thank you, sweetheart!” Pearl said excitedly.

“Hmm, it appears Piddles is asleep. I think he’ll like his gift them.” Apollo said, unwrapping it for him. “It’s a fish-sized pillow pet of a pig.” Apollo places it right near him, which wakes him up.

“Huh? What’s this?” Piddles asked.

“It’s your present!” Apollo said.

“Wow! My own stuffed animal! Thanks, Apollo!” Piddles said excitedly.

“We got something for you too, Apollo!” Rainbow started. “It’s the greatest….”

“….the sweetest….” Pearl added.

“….mind-blowingist…..” Dorthey added.

“…..most deserving….” Yoyo added.

“….awesomeist…..” Piddles added.

“….silent but deadliest….” Darrel added.

“….. present EVER!” Rainbow finished.

“Hey! You got to say something twice!” Piddles complained.

“Oh, but you didn’t have to!” Apollo said, smiling.

“Oh but we did, for being a great friend!” Rainbow said.

“Well…. What is it?” Apollo asked.

“TA DA!” all the fish said, throwing him a very small knitted sweater saying: ‘World’s Best Phoenix Friend’ with a heart on it.

“Oh…… I….. I love it!” Apollo said as he smiled and placed it on his wing. “Sure it’s small, but it’s what the thought that counts!”

“Take it to Twilight! She’ll make it your size!” Yoyo suggested.

“Oh you look adorable in it!” Pearl said.

“I…. I think I will. Thank you…. So much…..” Apollo said with tears coming out of his eyes.

“Are you….. crying?” Dorthey asked.

“Yes…. But they’re tears of joy.” Apollo said, wiping his eye.

“C’mon! This isn’t much! I’m sure other’s given you better presents!” Piddles said.

“But….. you are my closest friends.” Apollo said.

“I thought Blaze was your closest friend?” Dorthey asked.

“Blaze is my master, and no one else gives me the respect you give me.” Apollo said. All the fish smile at him, and Apollo smiles back.

Just then, I stumble inside my room and yell, “HEY! What’s that pig doing in the tank?!” The fish all looked at Piddle’s new pillow pet. “How many times do I have to say it? No species of Swinebutt allowed in this household!” All the fish look at eachother weirdly and Apollo looks at me confusingly. “What?!” I yell.

Anyways, Happy Hearth’s Warming everypony! For those of you who are still reading the fanfic, thank you for tuning in, and I love you all so much! If only I could see you all in person so I can hug you! Hugs for all my fans! For those who aren’t my fans… hugs for you too! <3

Changes in Attitudes

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Happy New Year! We’re in the middle of January of 2013, and so far…. HA! No end of the world! These predictions are so stupid! I mean really! It’s been a couple of days after New Years, Pinkie made a New Years party, and it was a blast for sure! You should’ve seen how wasted Psyche and Derpy were in the party….. and me! Plus it sounded like there was a war outside. Sounded like everypony was shooting each other. I dunno why though. Anyways, it all starts off with me waking up the next morning after the party.

“Ugh! What happened?” I asked myself, rubbing my head. I looked around and saw the messy Sugarcube Corner kitchen, and then it all started coming back to me. “Oh yeah, the party! I must’ve past out in the Sugarcube Corner kitchen……. On the ceiling.” I eventually fell off the ceiling and landed on the floor. I was a complete mess. I was walking around really silly, since I was pretty exhausted. “Pinkie, sista! Whoa, girl! We gotta do this more often!”

Pinkie giggled as she woke up from her couch. “But we do this every weekend!”

“Exactly! We do this every weekend like…. You look really pretty right now Pinkie! I smell bad! I also have to go to the bathroom.” I said insanely as I rubbed my head. “Ugh! I have such headache!”

“No kidding! I got a bad headache too!” Psyche said, waking up from Pinkie’s rug.

“Yeah, me three.” Derpy said.

”Me six.” Crystal said.

“What time is it anyway?” Psyche asked. I took out my cell phone to check the time, but my battery is dead.

“Battery’s dead.” I said.

“Crud!” Psyche said, laying back down. “Wake me up when it’s Thursday.”

“I gotta- I gotta get mail done… now.” Derpy said weakingly, getting up and trying to walks outside without any problems.

“Wait, did Derpy just go through the door without any problems?” Psyche asked.

”Wow, she’s partied-out.” Crystal said.

“So am I! Anyways, I gotta get back to the shop!” I said. “I just hope the battle outside is over. Heard so much shooting going on out there and stuff.”

“I love your food so much, Flarey! What do you put in them that make them so good?” Pinkie asked.

“That’s a secret, Pinkie!” I said.

“But you can tell me! I’m your special somepony!” Pinkie said, jumping on me.

“I don’t care. My recipe will remain a secret until I want to reveal it.” I said.

“Where’s Mr. and Mrs. Cake anyway?” Pinkie asked.

“Don’t know, don’t care.” I said, burping. “I gotta get washed up and head to the shop! I’m late as it is!” So I walk up to the bathroom so I can get washed up for the big day, but as I open the door, a bucket of water falls on me. “I bet this is Crystal’s doing.”

“Actually, my husband made it a couple of days ago because he’s trying to keep the bathroom clean.” Mrs. Cake said. Mr. Cake was in the tub, holding a mop on his hooves.

“STAY BACK!” Mr. Cake yelled at me while aiming his mop at me. “I’M ARMED!”

“Why are you keeping your bathroom clean?” I asked.

“GET OUT!” Mr. Cake yelled, chasing me out of the bathroom and closing the door.

“We had a strange customer came in a few days ago. They asked to use our bathroom, and they dirtied it all up!” Mrs. Cake explained.

“So why is he working to keep it all clean?” I asked.

“Well, let’s just say what this particular pony did, my husband never wants to see another dirty bathroom ever again.” Mrs. Cake said.

“Wow, some New Years this turned out to me.” I said.

“Today is Thursday, dear.” Mrs. Cake said.

“What?” I asked. “I thought New Years was Tuesday?”

“You were all past out on the floor for two days.” Mrs. Cake said.

“No I wasn’t, I was past out on the ceiling.” I corrected her. “WAIT! Today is Thursday?! I missed two days of work! I gotta go! See ya, Mrs. Cake!” I started running out of the bakery, but on the way out, I kicked Psyche and said; “Wake up, Psyche, its Thursday!”

“No it’s not, I didn’t go back to sleep since I last woke up.” Psyche whined.

“We were asleep for two days, brah.” I said.

“Two days? Wow, I guess that explains why I’m so hungry.” Psyche said, rubbing his head.

“Here, eat this.” I immediately shoved a garlic roll in his mouth, and ran over to my shop to open up. Bon Bon and Lyra were waiting for me over here.

“Hey, Flare! Partying hard, or hardly partying?” Lyra asked.

“I got a better question for you: Why did the lima bean cross the road?” I asked.

“What does that gotta do with anything?” Lyra asked.

“Nothing, but you two better get to your posts now, or I’ll make jet-ski noises again!” I warned them.

“Is that a threat?” Bonnie asked.

“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise! Now to get to your stations!” I ordered them. Bonnie and Lyra ran inside to get everything ready for the big day, and so did I. It was slow that morning, so we decided to watch some TV. Two Broken Girls was playing on TV. You know that show Two Broke Girls? This show is exactly the same, but the characters are piles of broken glass, and that’s how Two Broken Girls was made!

“Hey, Flare? Can I ask you a question?” Bonnie asked.

“Can I answer your question?” I asked.

“Sure.” Bonnie said. “Lyra and I been working here for a very long time.”

“I know! You two do such a good job; I can’t decide who to put on my Employee of the Month wall!” I said. “I mean, it’s always a pattern though! Lyra then Bon Bon, Lyra then Bon Bon, Lyra then Bon Bon! Been that way for months!”

“Well, we just wanna know…. Do you trust us?” Bonnie asked.

“Of course I trust you! I leave you alone in my shop while I’m out, and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong here!” I said. “But you guys need to guard my office more. Somepony keeps going in there to go through my personal business. I have the feeling its Boorlie!”

“Uhh, yeah…. Sure.” Bonnie said, going with it. “But what we really want to know is: can you tell us your secret recipe for making your famous pizzas?”

I spit out the coffee I was drinking right after I heard that. “THIS COFFEE IS COLD!” I yelled. “I’m sorry, what was that Bonnie?”

“We wanna know your secret recipe for your pizzas.” Bonnie repeated.

“WHAAAAAAAT?!” I yelled out while I was looking at my water bill. “They’re charging me THIS much for water! Can one of you remind me to use the sprinklers once this week?”

“No problem, bossman, but we just wanna know your recipe.” Bonnie said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because, since you trust us, I-“ Bonnie was about to say, but I interrupted.

“No, not why to you. Why is there a golf cart parked so close to the shop?” I asked, looking at a golf cart outside. “Come to think of it, how did a golf cart get here anyway? I didn’t know Ponyville had a golf course!”

“I didn’t either, but Flare listen, about your recipe.” Bonnie continued.

“NO WAY!” I yelled.

“Why? You’re hardly in the shop, and we’re your trusted employees!” Bonnie said.

“There’s no way Equestria Girls is actually coming!” I complained as I watched the trailer for Equestria Girls on my android phone. “I mean, this is like another Winx Club or Monster High.”

“Flare, can you listen to me for just one second?” Bonnie asked.

“Well, I can’t judge right away. Equestria Girls might look like it’s for 10 year olds or something, but we’ll never know how it is unless we actually watch it! Love and tolerance, brah!” I said. I just made a good point there. If you readers like MLP, then you can give Equestria Girls a chance.

“FLARE!” Lyra yelled.

“I heard what you said the first seven times! No, I’m not giving you my recipe!” I yelled.

“She only asked four times.” Lyra corrected me.

“Regardless on how many times you axe, I’m not giving you my recipe! It’s a secret!” I said.

“But, Flare! Don’t you trust us?” Bonnie asked.

“Of course I do, but the recipe is mine and mine alone! If I feel that I want to give it away, then so I shall! But I can’t trust ANYPONY with the recipe!” I said.

“But Flare!” Lyra and Bonnie whinned.

“No flanks!” I yelled. “Look, if I tell anpony the recipe, they might spill the beans and tell everypony else. Once it gets revealed in the open, other pizza companies are going to make the SAME recipe, and even though I’ll be rich because I’ll be filing a lot of lawsuits, nopony is taking the recipe from me! Under any circumstances! Got it?”

“But what if you die? The recipe will be gone forever then!” Lyra said.

I paused for a moment and thought about what she said. “You know what? You made a good point there, Lyra.” I said. “Even when I die, I still want my business to live on. Ok, I won’t tell you the recipe, but I’ll give a little contest. For the next pony who works the hardest, without goofing off, will be the next employee of the month; and for the next employee of the month, I’ll tell them the location of the secret recipe. That way, just in case something bad does happen to me, you’ll know where it is in case of an emergency.”

“That sounds like a great idea!” Lyra agreed.

“Of course it is! Now get to work, we have the lunch rush coming in a few minutes!” I instructed them. From that point forward, Bonnie and Lyra have been working harder than they ever had before! I’m quite proud of them! They’re working really hard to become the next employee of the month. Later that day, a pony I never seen before came into the shop. He was pretty suspicious, but he didn’t look like a pawn to Dr. Swinebutt, or a spy to Boorlie.

“Good afternoon, sir!” Lyra said to the customer. “Welcome to Flare’s Pizza-“

“-Parlor! May I take your order!” Bonnie said, interrupting Lyra.

“HEY! I was here first, Bonnie!” Lyra shouted at her.

“No you weren’t!” Bonnie corrected her.

“You’re calling me a liar?!” Lyra asked angrily.

“I AIN’T CALLING YOU FOR DINNER!” Bonnie yelled at her, and then they started fighting.

“Employee of the month is mine!” Lyra yelled.

“No, it’s mine!” Bonnie yelled.

“I’m terribly sorry, brah!” I said to the customer. “What would you like?”

“Yeah, I’ll like 7 large pizzas, one with sundried tomatoes, one with artichokes, one with eggplant, one with mushrooms, one with pineapple and broccoli, and the rest is just cheese.” The pony said.

“Coming right up, brah! ORDER UP!” I yelled at Bonnie and Lyra as they stopped fighting.

“Yes bossman!” they both said as they both stood up and started pushing and shoving eachother, trying to get the order in. They were really despite for employee of the month; and for what? A recipe?

“Alright, this is not working out right now! STOP, FIGHTING!” I demanded as they both just stood there looking at me. “Please! Please find a better way to settle this! It’s only an employee of the month title, and a recipe! I’m not dying anytime soon!” I know that because I’m writing this story. Wink, wink. “So how about playing rock, paper, scissors to settle this?”

“We don’t have any fingers.” Lyra informed me. “Oh would I kill for fingers!”

“Hoof wrestling?” I asked.

“I recently had surgery on my right hoof, and I’m right-hooved.” Bonnie said.

“Fine! You two can find a way to settle this yourselves. Just don’t fight and cause havoc! Neither of you are going to earn employee of the month if you just keep fighting like that!” I yelled.

Lyra and Bonnie looked at eachother and then upsettingly said, “We’re sorry, Flare.”

“No problemo, sistas!” I said. “We’ll pretend the fighting never happened. Now take turns doing your jobs like you were before and one of you will get employee of the month in no time. Now get back to work, this strange customer needs his pizza!”

“Coming right up!” Lyra said.

“Whatever you say, bossman!” Bonnie said saluted me. Just as they start working, they both glare at eachother. I know this is going to get ugly very soon! So we gave the pony his pizza, and he paid up. The pony trotted out of the store and then flew off. That particular pony was flying beyond Ponyville and beyond Equestria until he reached some sort of dark wasteland. The wasteland was full of Changelings, so this must be the Changeling kingdom! The pony that has my pizza changed back into its original form, and it went to the Changeling’s capital city, which was a giant hive. All the changelings in the hive were working really hard. There were merchants, lots of workers, and it’s what you might expect the Changeling kingdom to be. Queen Chrysalis was sitting on a big table with some of her royal subjects, awaiting dinner.

“CURSEOUS! Where is our dinner?!” Chrysalis called out.

“Its right here, your highness!” the changeling who bought my pizzas said as he placed the boxes on the table.

“Thank you, Silver Link! I just hope these pizzas are as good as they all say.” Chrysalis said.

“All the foods we eat are useless! We need LOVE!” a changeling called out.

“YES! Love is what keeps us alive! We’re all losing our powers!” another changeling said, attempting to change into another pony, but failed, feeling exhausted.

“I know, but this all we can have. I mean, for every Equestrian city we go to, for every other kingdom, we always seem to fail. We’re…. we’re done for.” Chrysalis said upsettingly.

“Your highness, don’t give up! We can still survive this!” Silver Link said, attempting to boost her confidence.

“We have exhausted so much. This may be the end of the Changelings.” Chrysalis said upsettingly.

“Then let’s make the best of it, your majesty.” Silver Link suggested. “Let’s eat up these pizzas. They might help us feel better.”

“For our sake, I hope you’re right.” Chrysalis said. So the changelings passed out their pizza slices until each of them had their own pizza. “Well…. Cheers to another lousy meal.” Chrysalis said as she took a bite. She then shrugged and said, “Ehh, it’s ok I gue-“ Chrysalis froze right after she said that. Her eyelids weren’t even blinking. She was just sitting there a surprised expression on her face.

“Queen Chrysalis? Your majesty? Are you feeling alright?” Silver Link asked, waving his hoof over her eyes.

“This pizza might be poisoned!” one of the changelings assumed. Other changelings tried the pizza too, and they all froze as well.

“We must quarantine these toxic products and take all the infected to the medical center! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!” Silver Link called out. The quarantine changeling team came in wearing bio-suits, and the infected changelings were taken to the medical center for treatment; a few more changelings wearing bio-suits disposed all the pizzas in the dining hall. The doctors were trying to find out the problem, and it took them a while, but they eventually did find out.

“What’s wrong with them, doctor?” Silver Link asked.

“Nothing wrong at all! In fact, they’re healthier now than they ever been!” the doctor said.

“Wait…. how is this possible?” Silver Link asked.

“We analyzed the pizzas, and there’s a recipe inside that made the ‘infected’ changelings energy get restored. It seems there is love inside the pizza.” The doctor said.

“That’s impossible! How is there love inside food that’s not even alive?” Silver Link asked.

“We’re researching now, but there seems to be blockade inside the pizzas that’s forbids us analyze the recipes.” The doctor assumed.

“So why is Queen Chrysalis all frozen?” Silver Link asked.

“She froze from shock actually. This pizza has the most love-readings than anything else we’ve ever tried; almost as much as the love between Shining Armor and Princess Cadance.” The doctor said.

“Wow…. I don’t believe this.” Silver Link said shockingly.

“We made a medicine that’ll unfreeze them. Tell all the changelings that if they have this pizza, they must have this medicine right after they take their first bite.” The doctor instructed him. “But it’s only for the first bite. Everyone should be able to eat the pizzas freely from their second bites and beyond.” So the Doctor inserts the medicine inside Chrysalis’ mouth and Chrysalis wakes up. Chrysalis rubs her head in pain.

“Are you feeling alright, your highness?” Silver Link asked.

“Alright? ALRIGHT?! I nearly died!” Chrysalis shouted at Silver Link.

“I know, but we can explain!” Silver Link said nervously.

“No need! I can tell that this pizza is the best thing I’ve ever had!” Chrysalis said. “I feel the love inside me growing and I don’t even need to get married!”

“So what does this mean?” Silver Link asked.

“We must find the one responsible for making this product, and make him or her our personal chef! The one who made this has what we need to become powerful!” Chrysalis said.

“According to the box and receipt, this pizza is from Flare’s Pizza Parlor.” One of the changelings said, carrying one of the boxes.

“Flare? I heard that name before.” Chrysalis said as she thought it out. “Let me see that box.” The changeling gives Chrysalis the pizza box, and she sees the picture of me on it. “Oh no! Not him again!”

“Who is this pony, your majesty?” Silver Link asked.

“Flare Gun. I met him during the royal wedding, and let me tell you this; he was the most annoying pony I’ve ever met!” Chrysalis said. “You should’ve seen him with his teasing, and his non-stop talking, and his LAWL LAWL LAWLZ! Not to mention his obnoxious friends – that geek Red Engineer, that idiot Crystal Iceblast, that wise-crack Psyche Illusion, and that brown pony Aquatic Armor, he seemed quiet, but he had a shifty look in his eyes.”

“What about that Wonderbolt, Blaze Goldheart?” Silver Link asked.

“He wasn’t at the wedding, but he was with him when I took over as Jeff Gorspeed. He hates changelings.” Chrysalis said. “But still, this group of ponies is an odd bunch.”

“True, but the most annoying pony you ever met is actually the key to our survival.” Silver Link said.

Chrysalis was silent for a few seconds, and thought it over for a while. “It seems we don’t have much of a choice. Flare Gun must become one of us! Silver Link! Capture Crimson Flare Gun, and bring him to me!”

“Yes, your highness!” Silver Link bowed, and then flew off back to Ponyville to do his duty. “As long as his friends don’t seem suspicious about what’s going on, we should be fine.”

“You seem nervous, your highness.” A changeling assumed.

“I’m not afraid of all of his friends, but I am afraid of Blaze Goldheart.” Chrysalis said. “He likes to beat up changelings whenever he sees them.”

“That’s racist.” That changeling said.

“No doubt.” Chrysalis agreed.

Back at my shop, it was nearly closing time, and even though Bonnie and Lyra have been quietly doing their jobs, I’m still worried that they might try to impress me a little too much again.

“You two are dismissed for the night.” I told them.

“How did we do? Did either of us win employee of the month yet?” Lyra asked.

“Don’t worry! The time will soon be here for one of you to hold the title.” I said. “Now both of you go home, get some rest, and get ready for a new day! I’m going to head home and check out the Steam holiday sale before it ends.”

“Alright! See ya tomorrow, bossman!” Bonnie said.

“Hope you’ll make your decision soon!” Lyra said. “Also careful with the Steam sales, Flare. My cousin Angel had a huge addiction.”

“I already can see how that turned out.” I said. “Steam is like an abusing dad with a belt. When it’s sale time, you better prepare yourself for the whippin’ of your life.”

“That seems a little much but ok.” Lyra said.

“Anyways, not to worry, sista! I’m sure I’ll make my decision before the week is over.” I promised, and they both left. “Heh! Neither of them are REALLY going to get my formula. Well, one of them might get it, but I don’t think they’ll understand the recipe very good.” Just then, my phone started ringing. I know it’s after closing time, but might as well, so I picked it up. “Hello this Burger King! How may I help you?” I chuckle. “I’m joking, this is Flare’s Pizza Parlor! What can I do ya for?” I nodded as he says his order. “Ok, seven large pizzas…. Mhm…. Alright….. kay kay….. a third kay for bad measures… yes…… sounds good! You want it delivered? Okey doke! I’ll be there in 40 minutes with your pizzas! Your welcome, bye!” I hung up, but before I made that batch of pizzas, the Your Correction Guy shows up and says, “*You’re.”

“Get outta here!” I instructed him.

“*Out of.” He corrected me again and walks out.

“Nopony likes a know-it-all.” I complained. So, I made my last batch of pizzas for the night to deliver to whoever called. I then closed up the shop, and walked across town so I can deliver the pizzas. It was pretty quiet that night. Not a single pony out in the streets, and it was really foggy, and yes it’s still snowing. My main concern is I hope the pizzas don’t get cold before I deliver them. I finally reached the house these pizzas were supposed to be delivered to. I believe this house is actually the house of my friends Spark Note and Mynx. I rung the doorbell, and held it down, even after Spark Note answered the door.

“Oh, Flare! What a surprise!” Spark Note said, welcoming me, as I continued holding the doorbell down. “You got my pizzas ready right?” I don’t respond, I just continue holding the doorbell down. “Flare?”

“Hang on, I’m not done yet!” I said, continuing to ring the doorbell. Spark Note just stood there, waiting for me to stop. I eventually do, but I let go with a nice force. “Sup Sparky? HA! Sparky! That’s a dog’s name!”

Spark Note just glared at me after I said that. “Not… much is up. Thanks for the pizzas, Flare.” Spark said with an offended tone.

“Thanks! Is Mynx home?” I asked.

“No, Mynx is out right now.” Spark Note said. Just then, I heard a small ‘help’ in the background coming from inside the house. “Yep. No Mynx here! Please come in!”

“I’d love to,” I said, “but the Steam is sale is going to end soon and I really want to get the Don’t Starve pack before-“

“GET IN THE HOUSE!” Spark demanded, but then she covered her mouth in embarrassment. “My bad.”

“Time of the month?” I asked.

“Umm… yeah…” Spark Note said, sounding like she doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

“Right… classic rock day. How could I forget about that time of the month?” I asked as I chuckled. “What are you listening to? Boston? Kansas? Tom Petty? The guy who made Photograph?”

“Nickelback?” Spark Note asked.

“No, ew! I thought you hated Nickelback?” I asked.

“Um, right, yes… ew.” Spark Note said.

“I’m talking about Def Leppard, and are you ok, Sparky?” I asked as I started chuckling again. “Called you a dog’s name again. Anyways, you don’t seem like yourself.”

“No, Sparky is herself.” Spark Note said.

“Maybe I should come in; take your temperature.” I suggested.

“Now that sounds like a good idea!” Spark Note agreed.

“Sure is!” I said as I walked inside with her, hearing the help in the background again. She told me to sit down on the couch, and I did. I then sniffed the air around the house. “Something smells funny.”

“Funny as in HA HA funny?” Spark asked.

“If it was HA HA funny, I’d be burning tire rubber.” I informed her.

“What?” Spark asked confusingly.

“Exactly.” I said. “But something smells gross in here.”

“Umm… what do you mean?” Spark asked nervously.

“I can’t really explain it though. Is it the new fresh scent you have in here?” I asked.

“Yeah…. Yeah, new fresh scent.” Spark said.

“It’s weird. It looks clean in here, but it smells like a dirty kitchen. This is like the exact opposite of the Febreze air freshener commercials.” I said.

A cutaway shows Spike taking me blindfolded into a dirty kitchen, and I sniff around. “Ok, what do you smell?” Spike asked.

“I smell…. Lemons. Not the ones that burn your house down, the ones that ruin your teeth when you eat them with your iced tea.” I said, continuing to sniff. “Smells really good in here! Are we in an orchard or something?”

Spike chuckled. “Take off the blind fold, and you’ll find out!” I took off the blind fold, and I saw the kitchen full of dirty dishes, roaches, spilled sauces all over the floor, etc.

“HOLY WIZARD OF FEELING!” I yelled.

Spike started bursting out laughing. “It’s the Febreze air freshener! It’s making the room smell amazing!”

“I’m gonna kill you Spike!” I yelled at him.

“What? Why?” Spike asked.

“This is MY kitchen! You made a big mess in here!” I yelled at him. “Wait, is that a cockroach eating….. please tell me that’s chocolate.”

“Well….. then I’d be lying to you.” Spike said as he chuckled in embarrassment.

“HOLY-“ I ran into my bathroom so I can get…. Stuff out of my system because what I experienced there was disgusting!

“Well, at least the febreze actually works!” Spike said.

“AAAAAAAH! BRAH! NOT MY BATHROOM TOO!” I yelled out. The cutaway ends.

“Anyways, that’ll be 56 bits for the pizza.” I informed her as I held my hoof out. “Would that be cash or credit?”

“Sounds good, but first, would you like me to get you something to drink?” Spark Note asked. I heard the ‘help’ voice in the background again.

“Sure, but what’s that noise?” I asked.

“It’s nothing! Mynx is watching TV upstairs.” Spark said nervously.

“But you just said he was out?” I asked.

Spark was silent for a few moments. “Want your drink now?”

“Sure, sure! No problem, sista! Nothing suspecious here at all! I’d totally trust you to give me a drink out of no consequence!” I said feeling like nothing suspicious was going on here. Spark left the room to get my drink; I keep hearing the ‘help’ in the background as I reading a magazine, which a problem for me, counting I don’t read magazines. “Hmm, I wonder what Mynx is watching?” I asked myself. I walked upstairs to go find out and I opened the door and found Spark Note and Mynx tied up on the floor.

“FLARE! HELP!” Mynx yelled.

“Sure, I’d love to help! But it seems you’re a little… TIED UP at the moment!” I teased, and said that joke a SECOND TIME! Yeah come to think of it right now, I’m as annoyed as you are. It’s like the Owlowisicous-Spike ‘whoing’ moment all over again! I was younger back then, so… yeah.

“FLARE! IT’S A TRAP!” Spark yelled.

“Who are you? Admiral Ackbar?” I asked.

“NO! THAT OTHER SPARK NOTE! IT’S A CHANGELING!” Spark yelled.

“Don’t be silly, Spark! You’re in the kitchen right now, getting me a drink!” I said.

“NO! THE CHANGELINGS ARE PLANNING TO-“ But that was the last thing I heard before the fake Spark Note put a bag over my head and whacked me before I passed out.

“FLARE!” Mynx and Spark both yelled.

“Your friend will be safe.” The fake Spark Note said before turning back to Silver Link, the changeling that went to my shop earlier today. “We have some ‘special plans’ to do with him!” he said and chuckled taking the sack I’m inside, and then starts flying back to the Changeling kingdom. It was hard for him to carry me though, ‘cause I was so heavy. “Sweet Chrysalis! What does this pony eat?!”

It’s been 25 minutes since Silver Link knocked me out, which was about the time I regained my senses and wake up inside the sake I’m suffocating in. “Ugh, what happened?” I asked as I rubbed my head. “What is this? Wow, it had to be a sack! I’d rather be kidnapped in a Walmart bag, if you be so kind?”

“Quiet in there!” Silver Link demanded.

“Where are we going anyway?” I asked.

“Where do you think?” Silver Link asked.

“DIDNEY WORL?” I asked with a derp look on my face.

“No, you fool! Back to the palace!” Silver Link said.

“The Canterlot palace? Luna better be there! Are you saying Luna’s name as much as you say Celestia’s?” I asked.

“No! Queen Chrysalis’s palace!” Silver Link said.

“Hey, Chrysalis!” I said excitingly. “I haven’t seen her since that last Nashorse race I went to! How is she?”

“She’s doing fine.” Silver Link said, continuing to fly to the palace.

“I wonder what the Changeling kingdom looks like? Does it have nice cities with a bunch of lights?” I asked.

“No.” Silver Link said.

“Aw, pitty. Let me take a look.” I said as I used my hornsaber spell to cut a hole in the bag so I can peek through. I looked down below, and it seemed like we were passing through a junkyard. “Wow, your kingdom is a dump, man!”

“What did you expect?” Silver Link asked.

“Wow! This place makes Trottingham look beautiful!” I said. “And trust me, Trottingham is a dump too!”

“Gee…. Thanks.” Silver Link said sarcastically.

“No problemo, brah!” I said.

“Jeez! Chrysalis was right! This pony IS annoying. I’m so glad I didn’t meet his friends yet.” Silver Link said.

“Yeah that pony, can’t live with them, huh?” I agreed as I rolled my eyes. “Wait, which pony you talking about, and whose friends?” I peeked through the hole again and looked below. “Wow, we’re so high up, these changelings look like ants.”

“Those are ants; we’re not that high.” Silver Link informed me. Eventually, Silver Link flew us inside Chrysalis’s hive. There were changelings inside the hive that were working, but very weakly though. I saw businesses in the hive going OUT of business, and a bunch of the changelings were coughing, kids were crying, and even one changeling tried to change his or her form (can’t tell the difference between changelings genders to be honest), but he or she failed and just collapsed on the ground. “Wow… I never noticed how desperate things have become here.” I commented. After a few more seconds of exploring the hive, we arrived in Chrysalis’ throne room, and Silver Link drops the sack I’m in on the floor, unties it, and starts shaking the sack until I fell out and landed on my head. “Ka-booski!” I said as I landed. The bonk I made when I landed on the ground sounded like somepony got hit in the head with a coconut. When I fell out, my legs were also in the air, but after a few moments of laying on the ground, my legs fell to my sides, making me shaped like a star.

“That ride was fun! Can we go again?” I asked.

“Greetings, Flare Gun! I have been expecting you!” Chrysalis said as she sat on her throne.

“Wow! I’m expected! That’s a first!” I said.

“As you know, I brought you here for a very specific reason.” Chrysalis said.

“Not an Atlantic reason?” I asked.

“Do you ever stop talking?” Chrysalis asked.

“Don’t change who I am, sista! I am who I am, and nopony can stop me!” I talked back at her.

“Just hush up, and listen to me!” Chrysalis ordered.

“Fine! Gimmie refreshment and then I’ll listen.” I said.

“SILVER! Go get our guest something liquid!” Chrysalis ordered him. Silver bowed and then flew out of the chamber. “Now, Flare Gun, I called you here because I tried some of your pizzas.”

“Oh really?” I asked happily. “How were they?”

“Let’s start from the beginning: we Changelings absorb the power of love. We feast upon love from creatures around the world for generations!” Chrysalis explained. “Once we found out that Equestria has more love than anywhere else, we decided to feast upon love from the ponies there. I must find romance to feed my subjects with, but once I heard about the royal wedding, I did my research, and the love between Shining Armor and Princess Cadance was very strong, and had enough power for us to take over Canterlot for a short time, but once the love between the royal couple counter-attacked on me and my subjects, it was too much for us to take.”

“I don’t know how that’s possible. You get defeated by the type of magic that also made you powerful. Doesn’t really make much sense to me.” I said.

“Using love against us is a different type of magic. Giving me the love personally is what makes me stronger, and I use it to feed my subjects.” Chrysalis explained. “After we were defeated, the ponies in Equestria were aware of what we were after, and now we cannot find enough food for us to go on. Most of my subjects are losing their powers, and don’t have the energy to do…. Anything! My people are starving, Flare Gun, and we need your help!”

“Look, I am not marrying you. I’m sorry, but I already have a special somepony, and to be honest, you’re not really my type.” I admitted.

“Well, you’re not my type either, but I don’t you to marry me.” Chrysalis said.

“WHAT?! You’d be lucky to marry me!” I said angrily.

“I thought you didn’t want me to marry you?” Chrysalis asked.

“You pretending you’re better than me kinda cancels that out.” I said.

“Teenage love at it’s finest.” Chrysalis said.

“So, what do you want from me then?” I asked.

“Your pizza.” Chrysalis said.

“What’s my pizza gonna do to help your people?” I asked.

“Silver Link bought us some of your pizza, and we decided to give it a try. What we didn’t know was that your pizza was actually the key to our survival. We were doing a little research, and even though we couldn’t find out the recipe for your pizza, but we did find large traces of love inside, almost as much as the love I obtained at the royal wedding. It’s not much, but it’s enough.” Chrysalis explained.

“It’s true. I make my food full of love! Not just my pizzas, but my pastas too; and nopony ever buys my pastas! I have this awesome ziti made that everypony should try out!” I complained.

“Set those facts aside, we need your recipe for your pizzas.” Chrysalis said.

“Yeah, good luck with that! I already have two employees competing for employee of the month because the next employee of the month gets the location of my recipe.” I said.

“What’s your point?” Chrysalis asked.

“I’m not giving anypony my secret recipe. If I gave someone the recipe, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore! Duh! All the best meals have a secret recipe, and no matter who you are, you will not get it!” I explained.

“Then in that case, you will have to stay here for the rest of your life, making pizzas for us.” Chrysalis suggested.

“I’d love to make pizzas for your people! But atlas, I can’t.” I said.

“Why not?” Chrysalis asked.

“Your name is Atlas, right?” I asked.

“No, it’s Chrysalis.” She corrected me.

“Oh.” I said.

“So why can’t you stay and help us?” Chrysalis asked.

“Where should I start? Well I have my own business back in Ponyville, as well as an expansion in Canterlot; I have friends back at home that need me; I have fish to feed, and somepony has to make sure my buddy Blaze Goldheart doesn’t do anything he might regret. He has a temper you know, and if he finds out that I’m staying with changelings, he’ll come here himself and destroy the place just to rescue me. He has a BIG hatred for Changelings!”

“I heard, and that’s heavily racist.” Chrysalis said.

“No kidding! That’s what I said to him, but he keeps saying you’re not a race.” I said as Silver Link came back with our drinks.

“Wow! Well, I’m not surprised.” Chrysalis said. “Lots of ponies think that way.”

“But if you want me to help your people out, then I will.” I said, taking a sip of my drink. “This tastes like Hawaiian Punch.”

“Funny thing you should mention it. It’s made out of island volcanoes.” Silver Link said.

“Really now?” I asked as my tongue started to burn to a crisp. “Very- la la la la la- interesting.”

“Thank you, Flare Gun. Nopony has ever treated us with this much respect.” Chrysalis said.

“Well, I don’t judge right away. I have to get to know them first. I can’t know that changelings are bad creatures, unless I find out for myself.” I said.

“Well, just for that, I’m going to help your stay here become easier.” Chrysalis offered.

“And what’s that?” I asked.

“You’re a pony, and most of my subjects have a hatred for ponies as well, especially my mother. Trust me, if you think I’m mad, you should meet my mother.” Chrysalis said.

“So how you want my stay here to become easier?” I asked.

“Like this…” Chrysalis said, then she uses her magic on me, I start glowing, then I start floating in the air. It’s a wee-bit painful, but itwasn’t too bad, but I felt like my DNA is changing! My horn changed shape, my skin turned black, my mane and tail turned light blue, and little bug wings appeared on my back. I then fell on the ground real hard.

“Ow!” I yelled. “You can’t levitate me down gentlely? You just drop me? What kind magic is that?”

Chrysalis then took a look at my blue vest. “Hmm, doesn’t seem to match. Let me fix that.” Chrysalis then suddenly turned my vest green so it’ll match my looks. “What do you think, Flare Gun?” she asked, putting a mirror in front of me.

I take a look at myself and started to freak out. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

“I turned you into a changeling. Now you’ll blend in just fine!” Chrysalis said.

“I have a horn AND wings?! Holy Wizard of Hope, I’m an alicorn! Now everypony is gonna call me mary-sue again!” I yelled.

“Trust me, all changelings have a horn AND wings. You have all the same magic tricks you had before though.” Chrysalis said.

“Let me see.” I said as I tested out my magic spells, but they all seemed to be a different. My flares were blue, my water squirter was green goo (oo rhyme), and my Shoop Da Whoop had a different sound effect. It sounded… evil and haunted, but regardless, I’m glad I still have them. Can’t live without my armor lock, that’s for sure! “Do I still have the same cutie mark?”

“Of course you do.” Chrysalis said.

“You want to see my cutie mark?” I asked.

“I can see it now.” Chrysalis reminded me.

“No not that… this one.” I corrected her as I took out my phone and showed Chrysalis a picture on my phone of my cutie mark.

“Who’s that?” Chrysalis asked.

“That’s Markiplier! He’s such a cutie!” I said.

“Yeah he seems very cute.” Chrysalis nodded. “Now, you don’t just have your current unicorn magic still, you now you have a new power! You can change yourself into anything.” Chrysalis said.

“Anything?” I asked.

“Anything!” Chrysalis said.

“Hmm, I’m gonna try changing myself into Discord!” I said as I used my new changeling magic to try to change myself into Discord, but I wasn’t that successful. All I did was change myself into looking like my sister Water Gun. “Wow, I didn’t realize Discord looked a lot like my sister.” I teased.

“Changing looks takes a lot of practice. You’ll only change into the things you know very well. You have to make sure your detail is correct and everything, otherwise somepony will find out that you’re not that particular pony you’re trying to form yourself to look like.” Chrysalis explained.

“Well, I might take this as an advantage! Perhaps being a changeling is awesome!” I said as I turned myself into my original changeling form. “Hey check this out!” I suddenly placed one of my hooves near my mouth and I stuck my tongue through one of the holes on my arm, making ‘loo loo loo loo loo loo’ noises.

“What are you doing?” Chrysalis asked.

“I’ve always wanted to do that! Now that I’m a changeling, my arms look like swiss cheese!” I said.

“But now that you’re a changeling, ponies may treat you differently.” Chrysalis said.

“Pffft! That’s an easy mystery to solve! Watch this!” I then changed myself into looking like my original pony self. “See? Nopony will know the difference! I look just like the same ol dude everypony got to know

“Takes a lot of energy out of you though by being a different model, but with your pizzas by your side, eat them every once in a while, and I believe you’ll be fine!” Chrysalis instructed me.

“Possum grade awesome, sista!” I said, changing back into my changeling form. “Alright, so I believe you want me to cook you some more pizzas, huh?”

“If you please? Just cook enough pizzas for my people to last for at least week, and then you can return home to Ponyville with your friends and your business.” Chrysalis offered.

“What about sleep though?” I asked as looked through cell phone to check on the time. “It’s a quarter after midnight!”

“You’re a changeling now! Eat your pizzas; it’ll be your coffee!” Chrysalis said.

“My parents don’t let me drink coffee.” I said.

“Well, your parents aren’t here. So hup to it, Flare Gun! Save your people!” Chrysalis instructed me.

“Right!” I said as I ran out of the throne room, but I came back a few seconds later and asked, “Uhh, where’s the kitchen?”

“Oh, right. Silver, please show our new head chef to the kitchen.” Chrysalis instructed him.

“Yes, your highness!” Silver Link bowed as he started taking me to the kitchen. When we got there, there were pots in fireplaces, food being chopped on the counters, and their only sink was a bucket of water. “Here we are!”

“No.” I said.

“No what?” Silver Link asked.

“I can’t work in a kitchen like this!” I said.

“But all you need is love to make your pizza taste good!” Silver Link said.

“It’s not just that. I need the proper equipment, the right ingredients, and I want my cooking environment to be a little more…. My style.” I explained.

“What’s wrong with our kitchen?” a changeling chef asked.

“Our kitchen is fine!” another one said.

“Look, I understand that this is the type of kitchen you like to prepare your meals in, it’s just... if I’m to make perfection, I have to do it right. Trust me, I tried making pizza another way before, and it didn’t work out.” I said.

A cutaway shows me putting a raw pizza in the microwave, and then the pizza went alive and started attacking my face like a facehugger. The cutaway ends there.

“Well, what kind of equipment would you need?” Silver Link asked.

“I cook all my pizzas in a brick oven, I need the proper tools, the veggies have to be washed in a proper sink, and…. You know what? Take me back to my shop. Everything I need is over there.” I suggested.

“But her highness wants your pizzas to be prepared here.” Silver Link said.

“Does she want my pizzas or not? If I’m to cook them properly, I need to be at my shop. All the proper equipment is there.” I said.

“Well…. You’re going to have to ask her.” Silver Link advised me. So I walked back into the queen’s chambers, as Chrysalis filing her hoof-nails.

“Excuse me? Queen Crystales?” I asked.

“It’s Chrysalis, and what seems to be the problem?” Chrysalis asked.

“Ok first, you want to see a picture of my van?” I asked as I took my cell phone out.

“Ok sure.” Chrysalis said as I showed her the picture. “Grace Van Pelt, huh? Interested.”

“I’m really attracted to government agent ladies, which is why I always like to watch the Esurience commercials.” I said.

“Got the message.” Chrysalis nodded. “Anyways, what’s the main reason why you came before me?”

“I didn’t come here BEFORE you, I came here AFTER you.” I corrected her. “You were already in here filing your nails.”

“Whatever. Why are you here?” Chrysalis asked.

“I can’t work under these conditions!” I complained.

“What? You uncomfortable with our layouts?” Chrysalis asked.

“I was actually going to ask why you are using regular brown thin paper towels instead of Bounty in your bathrooms, but yeah, I am feeling uncomfortable with the layout of your kitchen.” I said.

“Well too bad. You’re going to have to get used to it. You’re a changeling now, Flare Gun, and you must get used to everything around here whether you like it or not.” Chrysalis said.

“Oh yeah? You want try this pizza I made over a fire using YOUR ingredients?” I asked as I showed Chrysalis a pizza I made in her kitchen.

“No problem!” Chrysalis said, using her magic to take the pizza I made, and she took a bite of it. “Taste’s ok, but it doesn’t taste like the pizzas you usually prepare. It tastes a lot like volcano juice.”

“Yeah the Hawaiian Punch was actually the main ingredient, but that’s what I’m saying! I need to go back to Ponyville and use the proper equipment to make them! I worked hard getting the pizzas to be how they are today! After I finished building that place, I had to make sure my food tastes perfect before opening! Wasn’t easy finding the proper tools to make them how they are now.” I explained.

“I see what you mean. Ok, Flare Gun, I’ll allow you to go back to Ponyville to make the pizzas, and you can live your life how you did before.” Chrysalis said.

“YAY! MESA GOING HOME!” I yelled in Jar Jar Bink’s voice.

“Ah, ah, ah! There’s something you’ll need to know first.” Chrysalis stopped me.

”I’m all ears like string beans! No, wait, which vegetable has the ears?” I asked.

“What you need to know is you cannot show your true self to ANYPONY in town!” Chrysalis said.

“Oh yeah!” I said as I snapped my hooves. “Potatoes are the ones with the ears! Counting Mr. Potato Head.”

“FLARE GUN!” Chrysalis yelled.

“Yes?” I asked. “You know I like it better if you just call me Flare, and not by my last name.”

“Have you listened to a word I’ve been saying?” Chrysalis asked.

“I heard that last part!” I said and smiled.

Chrysalis groaned. “You can’t tell anypony you’re a changeling! That’s what I said!”

“I thought you said ‘Have you listened to a word I’ve been saying’?” I asked.

“NO!” Chrysalis yelled. “Uuuggghh!”

“Don’t worry! I won’t tell anypony I’m a changeling now. I’ll just show them!” I said.

“NO! That’s even worse! Nopony can know you’re a changeling! NO-PONY AT ALL!” Chrysalis ordered me.

“Ok! Ok! I get it!” I said. “Nopony will know I’m a changeling. I won’t tell anypony, I won’t show anypony. You have nothing to worry about!”

“I somewhat have a hard time believing you.” Chrysalis said.

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” I said. “I get that a lot.”

“Take Silver Link with you. He’ll make sure you don’t get into trouble.” Chrysalis said.

“Alright! Going to have a fellow Changeling with me! HIGH-HOOF!” I cried in excitement to Silver Link with my hoof up high. Silver just stood there staring at me, and after a few seconds, I just awkwardly lowered my hoof back down.

“It’s up to you, Flare Gun! Save our kingdom! If we don’t get those pizzas, all of us will be lost!” Chrysalis said.

“I will not let you down, Crystalis!” I said, saluting to her.

“It’s Chrysalis. Now begone with you!” Chrysalis ordered us. So Silver and I flew off back to Ponyville. On the way over there, I had a lot of trouble flying with my new changeling wings.

“Man! How am I supposed to fly back with these stupid bug wings?” I asked.

“HEY! They’re not stupid bug wings!” Silver Link complained.

“You’re right. They’re stupid CHANGELING wings. Better?” I asked.

“You a pony folk are all the same! Thinking we’re a bunch of freaks!” Silver Link said.

“I don’t think you’re a bunch of freaks, I just think- WHOA!” I started to lose my altitude a bit, but I was able to fix it. “I am NOT good at flying! I had wings once before and I was NO better! Wow, we’re so high up! I can see ants down below!”

“Flare, you’re flying 5 feet off the ground. Those are actual ants you’re seeing.” Silver Link reminded me.

“Anyways, I don’t think changelings are freaks.” I said. “I just you need a better lifestyle then you do now. What are you? A bunch of bees?”

“It may seem to be that way.” Silver Link said. “We make very strange honey.”

“You do?” I asked.

“What do you think that goo we use to trap our victims is?” Silver Link asked.

“That’s honey? Wow, no wonder it tasted good.” I said.

“You tasted it?!” Silver Link asked surprisingly.

“Taste it? I use it on toast on certain mornings!” I said.

“That is certainly unexpecting, like playing one of those survive for 30 seconds levels on Happy Wheels.” Silver Link said.

A cutaway shows me playing Happy Wheels on my computer playing as Santa. Me and my elves were trapped in a giant box of some sort and there was numbers beside us that started counting down, and there was also a message on top of us saying ‘Rate 5 if you survive’ and ‘Rate 4 if you died’. I then said in a Santa voice, “DEELEGH! Alright you kiddies! We’re supposed to survive for 30 seconds. Now obviously, Santa will survive, but you however, will not, but that’s ok, you will do what can to protect Santa because that’s all you’re capable of. Ok… the numbers are counting down but nothing is happening. I think this map might be brok- AAAAAAAH!” I screamed after a pile of cars crash on top of my characters. The cutaway ends.

So we flew back to Ponyville; it was in the middle of the night so not many ponies were out, so nopony noticed us. I opened up my shop, disabled the alarm, and put my apron and chef hat on. “Alright! Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor, brah!” I said.

“Shoop da cook?” Silver Link asked, staring at my apron. “What the heck does that mean?”

“Everypony axes that all the time, and nopony seems to get it no matter how much detail I put in it. Just sit down, relax, and watch a little TV; if you want a drink, just take a cup and use the fountains over there.” I explained.

“Thanks, Flare!” Silver Link said as he started watching TV.

“Coming up next on PNT,” TV announcer started, “it’s an eight hour marathon of Trixie’s Tricks.”

“The Great and POWERFUL Trixie’s tricks, you mean.” Trixie corrected him on the TV.

“See? This is why we show her show at night when everyone’s asleep.” The TV announcer said to the audience.

“So how long are you going to be in there?” Silver Link asked me.

“It depends how many pizzas you want me to make.” I said. “Oooo! I never seen the stove this clean before! This employee of the month thing must be really paying off!”

“Alright, well, if you can. Make 180 large pizzas.” Silver Link instructed me.

“That enough to fill the entire kingdom?” I asked.

“No, it’s enough to fill the entire hive! The entire kingdom will take forever! Let’s just start off with the hive, and we’ll think of the kingdom later.” Silver Link said.

“Holy Wizard of Hope, Silver! I hope you’re paying me big for this! I never made these many pizzas for one order before, and on top of that, I never even worked at night before!” I said.

“Get used to it. Nibble on a pizza once in a while, it should give you the energy you need to last the night.” Silver Link advised me.

“I understand that, but doing the same thing all the time is, well…. Boring!” I said.

“Well, find a way to entertain yourself while you’re doing it.” Silver Link said, as he changes the channel on the TV.

“We now return to Two in a Raft Men on CBS (Canterlot Broadcast Station).” The TV announcer said.

On the TV shows Alan and Charlie Harper that are stuck in a raft in the middle of the ocean. “I hate being lost at sea on a raft.” Alan complained.

“I hate being lost at sea on a raft with you!” Charlie complained, as the audience laughed.

“Ah good, the version of the show that didn’t turn into complete garbage when Ashton Kutcher came on. Not that I have a problem with him, but the show was always better with Charlie Sheen.” Silver Link admitted. “Now hup to it, Flare! The kingdom isn’t going to feed itself!”

“If only it could.” I mumbled to myself and sighed. Wow, if the kingdom could really feed itself! That would be awesome! Like… food growing from the ground! That would be totally magical! They should invent something like that! Food from the ground! Anyways, I really knew this was going to be a long night! Silver Link just sat there, watching TV and making sure I don’t slack off. I bit on a few pizzas and it was keeping me awake, but I was so BORED! The day times are usually fun because there are ponies to talk to while I’m working. Now, well…. It’s just Silver Link! He didn’t want to talk, he was just interesting in watching Saturday Night Live! It was almost 6 in the morning, and I was able to make 214 pizzas that night.

“There! Finished! I made some extras just in case.” I said.

“Excellent! This will surely help our people!” Silver Link said.

“But something weird was going on… have you had the feeling you’re being… watched?” I asked.

“I was watching you this whole time.” Silver Link reminded me.

“No you didn’t, you were watching TV.” I corrected him.

“Well then how else would you have the feeling you’re being watched?” Silver Link asked.

I then gasped as I saw something outside. “THAT! I knew I was being watched! I knew something wasn’t right!” I pointed outside.

Silver Link turned around and saw who was watching me this whole time, and then he just chuckled and said, “No, Flare! That’s the money you COULD be saving with Geico!” Outside I saw the Geico money with eyes as Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockfell plays in the background.

“Geico,” the TV announcer said as the entire screen cuts out of the story to show the Geico logo. “15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.”

“Well, you better get going now. It’s almost six, and the ponies are going to be awakening soon.” I advised him. “Take the pizzas to your kingdom!”

“What are you going to do?” Silver Link asked.

“I’ll stay here and live my life. Nopony will suspect a thing!” I suggested.

“Alright. I’ll be back tonight for more pizzas.” Silver Link said.

“Oh, uhh, sure! No problemo, brah!” I said hesitantly. Silver Link took all 214 pizzas and tried not to topple them over, as he did though, I used my magic to catch them. “Just use this delivery bag. It’ll be easier.” I gave Silver Link a delivery bag, and put all the pizzas inside, but the pizzas still stacked like a tower. “Much better!”

“Hope so.” Silver Link said, taking the pizzas and flying out. After I cleaned up, I saw Lyra and Bonnie racing inside my shop. They both got stuck on the doorway, because they both tried getting in at the same time. They were still running in place as they were stuck.

I was still in my changeling form. I’m glad they didn’t see me. “Oh salami!” I said, changing into my old pony self and walking out to greet my employees. Lyra, Bonnie! You’re 3 hours early!”

“We’d never want to let you down, sir!” Lyra said.

”Yeah, we wish to be the best employees we can ever be- employee of the month!” Bonnie said.

“Excellent! Excellent!” I said. “Now I’m going to go out and run some… errands. You two take care of things here yourselves until I get back. Got it?”

“We won’t let you down, sir!” Bonnie and Lyra both saluted at me.

“I don’t like it when ponies call me sir.” I said.

“Yes… brah?” Bonnie asked.

“Love it! Now stop hanging around the doorway, and get to work!” I ordered them.

“Right away!” Lyra said as they both tried to get themselves unstuck from the doorway, but had a hard time doing so.

“Need some help?” I asked.

“No, no! We got it!” Bonnie said. They still kept trying to get themselves unstuck, but they still had a hard time. I just stood there, glaring. “Just a little more.”

“We got it, Flare!” Lyra said, but of course they didn’t.

“I don’t have time for this.” I sighed as I then used my rail-blast spell to push them out of the doorway, and they fell on the ground. “You two have to learn to get unstuck backwards instead of getting more stuck forwards so I could just kick your flanks out.” I said to them as I then walked away. Bonnie and Lyra just looked at eachother and then both raced back into my shop, and were able to get in, but when they went through the kitchen door, they got stuck there now.

Meanwhile as I walking through town, I was walking pretty slow and tired. “Oh Luna, I’m feeling really exhausted right now! I can’t believe I agreed to do this. Being a changeling and all must be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!” Just as I was passing through Sweet Apple Acres, I saw AppleJack bucking apples off the tree. “Wow, AppleJack is really concentrating on bucking those apples. If only Pinkie were there to startle her.” I then looked around. “Well, no Pinkie around here. I wish there was a way for me to be Pinkie and startle her myself. It would be really funny.” But then my brain just hatched an idea. Really there was an egg inside my head and it hatched a light bulb. “Wait! I CAN be Pinkie! I’m a changeling now! Which means I don’t have to JUST be Flare anymore! I can be anypony!” So I tried hard to turn into Pinkie, but then I turned into AppleJack. “AppleJack? Startling, but she’ll suspect something.” Then I changed into Engineer. “Engie? Nah.” Then I changed into Twilight. “Twilight? Hmm, I’ll save her for later.” Then I finally changed into Pinkie. “Walla! Pinkie Pie! Now let’s see how this new trick works!” I then tip-hooved over to AppleJack who was concentrating on one of the stronger trees.

”A’right. Ah need complete focus. Just the right kick will do the trick.” AppleJack said, and just before she kicked, I jumped at her.

“HI, APPLEJACK!” I yelled as AppleJack got startled, and then she hit the tree with one of her hind hooves ankles.

“AAAAH! MAH ANKLE!” AppleJack yelled. “GAH! PINKIE!”

“Whoa! You alright AppleJack?” I asked.

“NO, AH’M NOT OK! YA MADE ME BREAK MAH ANKLE, PINKIE!” AppleJack yelled, holding her ankle. “AHHHH! Ahhhh!”

Just then I smiled. “This is unbelievable! She thinks I’m Pinkie! So Pinkie takes the blame for this, not me!” I said. AppleJack continued moaning and yelling as she held her ankle. “Well, this is a bit too much. I never meant to do any physical harm.” I then awkwardly trotted away from AppleJack and changed back into me. I walked further into town, thinking of another non-harmful prank. Breaking AppleJack’s ankle was… unexpecting, I hope the farmer doesn’t shoot her for this. Oh wait, she is the farmer. Well… I hope she doesn’t shoot herself for this. Just then, I saw Rarity walking through town wearing a very nice outfit.

“Wow, Rarity! That’s a very nice outfit!” Fluttershy said, feeling the fuzzy fur on it.

“HEY! Hooves off! This is my favorite outfit! I do NOT want it to be ruined!” Rarity shouted at her.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry, Rarity.” Flutters said, feeling pretty embarrassed.

“It’s ok, dear! We still meeting at the spa later, right?” Rarity asked.

“Absolutely!” Flutters said nodding.

“Fabulous! I’ll see you later, Fluttershy!” Rarity said as she continued walking.

“Good bye, Rarity!” Flutters said walking in the opposite direction.

I laughed mischievously. “Wow, Rarity! You don’t want anything to happen to that outfit, huh? It would seem terrible if somepony had to ruin it! AppleJack should totally take the blame for this!” I then hid behind some bushes then changed myself into looking like Fluttershy, even though I think I look like AppleJack. “Look out, Rarity! Here comes AppleJack!” I ran over to Rarity and then I started splashing in a mud pile and mud spilled all over Rarity’s outfit.

Rarity started screaming. “AAAH! FLUTTERSHY! HOW COULD YOU?!”

“Look at you, Rarity! You look like a melted Hershey’s bar!” I said, laughing.

“Fluttershy! You knew this was my favorite outfit! How…. How could you?!” Rarity started crying and ran away. I was confused to why she called me Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy?” I asked, looking at myself. “Oh, woops. I thought I was AppleJack. Wow, I wouldn’t do that Fluttershy! My Mama Fluttershy! I mean, I’d do it to Pinkie though. She’s my special somepony but she’s not that sensitive. I should go apologize to Rarity and tell her the truth.” I was about to go walk to Rarity’s, but then I stopped myself. “Wait, I swore to Chrysalis that I wouldn’t tell anypony about me being a changeling. I have to keep that promise! Alright, lesson learned! No more harmful pranks. Messing with Rarity’s favorite outfit was a mistake.” Just then, my stomach started rumbling. “Getting hungry. Perhaps it’s time to go get some food.” So I trotted over to Sugarcube Corner to get some food. I’m still in my Fluttershy form though. I peeked inside the shop and I saw Mrs. Cake with a plate of brownies.

“Oooo! Those brownies look delish, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie said.

“Thank you, Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake said.

“Brownies again, huh?” I mumbled.

“Would you like one?” Mrs. Cake asked.

“You know it!” Pinkie said, taking a brownie and eating it in one bite. “Wow! Those ARE delish!”

“Come back for more whenever you wish!” Mrs. Cake said happily.

“Sure thing, Mrs. Cake! I’m going to go see AppleJack!” Pinkie said, hopping in place.

“Have fun, Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake said as Pinkie then hopped right out the door, passing me.

“Hi, Fluttershy!” Pinkie said to me as she continued hopping over to AppleJack’s.

“Wow! Pinkie is allowed to have all the brownies she wants, eh?” I asked. “Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt taking one!” I changed myself into looking like Rarity and then I trotted inside to take some brownies. On the way, I accidently stepped on Psyche, who was still lying on the ground there.

“OW! I’m still lying here!” Psyche yelled.

I walked over to the counter and took one of the brownies and ate it. “Mm mm! Yummy!” I said. Those brownies were so delicious I had to have more. I opened my mouth wide towards the counter, and I shoved all the brownies inside my mouth at once. Mrs. Cake walked back behind the counter, humming to herself, but then she spotted me eating all the brownies.

“Oh, heya dear!” Mrs. Cake said.

“Hi, Mrs. Cake!” I said with my mouth full.

“Wow, I never seen you eat this much before!” Mrs. Cake said shockingly.

I chuckled. “That’s a good one, Mrs. Cake!” I said with my mouth still full, and then I swallowed the rest of the brownies that were in my mouth, and I burped. “Ahhh! Those were good! Got any more?”

“Well, I can make you batch for 8 bits!” Mrs. Cake said.

“You’re funny, Mrs. Cake! I’m Pinkie! I know you give me ALL your food for free!” I said.

“Excuse me?” Mrs. Cake asked confusingly, since I didn’t know that I changed myself into looking like Rarity, not Pinkie. My stomach rumbled again, but in a different way. “Ugh! I have to use the lavatory! B-R-B!”

“Wait, Rarity!” Mrs. Cake yelled, but I wasn’t listening. I ran upstairs, accidentally stepping on Psyche again, and ran into the bathroom since my stomach didn’t really agree with the brownies. Mr. Cake walked by just as I finished and I hopped back out like what Pinkie does, with a piece of toilet paper on my hoof… AGAIN! C’mon, that gag is old already! Why do I keep doing it? Mr. Cake looked inside the bathroom, and then he screamed.

“MY BATHROOM! NO!” Mr. Cake yelled. He peeked his head out and saw me hopping down the stairs. Then he whispered angrily; “Oh, you’re going to get it now, Rarity!”

So I walked outside and chuckled to myself. “This is great! With these new powers, I can do anything! I’ll be able to get away with anything and other’s will take the blame! I gotta say, being a changeling must be one of the best things that’s ever happened to me! Let’s do this!” So I went around town to some pranks. I went over to see Rainbow Dash who was getting a suntan over by the lake, but since the sun isn’t out and it’s snowing, she’s sunbathing under a bit lamp; and then I did a cannonball into the lake while in the form of Aqua! Kept splashing Rainbow in the hole I made through the ice near her, getting her all wet; and as Rainbow’s face was turning red from anger, right before she snapped, I cooled her off by dumping a bucket of water on her and who is to blame? Aqua! Alright well... I wonder who Rainbow is going to challenge next to the ice bucket challenge?

After that, I went to go see Fluttershy, who was feeding her animals, and giving a bear a spongebath. When Flutters turned away from her animals to give the bear the bath, all the animal’s food turned into piles of junk food! Then when she turned back to the bear, the bear was bathing in mud. Fluttershy was shocked and she saw me laughing on the ground in the form of Engineer!

Right after, I went to go see Engineer who was building a new mail box in his front yard. Just then, his mail box grew into a giant spider robot with lasers, and started crawling around town, destroying everything. Engineer was very surprised. Engineer looked at his blueprints and saw a taped-up piece of paper blocking the name of the blueprint that said ‘Robotic Auto-junction Mailbox’, but when Engie removed the paper, the actual blueprint said ‘Robotic Destruction Mailbox’. Engie gasped, and then he saw me laughing and rolling on the ground, as the model of Blaze.

Right after, Blaze was flying around, doing awesome stunts, and he was about to dive into a trampoline, but me in the model of Crystal was flying right beside him, and then I tilted Blaze’s head a bit and the results were: he hit the edge of the trampoline. Blaze just laid there, rubbing his head with stars flying around it and I started laughing at him.

Meanwhile, while I was doing more pranks, Fluttershy walked over to the spa to meet up with Rarity. She was wearing a robe and a towel on, humming a song, and she saw Rarity relaxing in a mud-bath. “Hi, Rarity!” Fluttershy said, walking over to her.

Rarity removed her one of her cucumbers on her eyes to see who it was; she just smirked at her and said; “Oh… it’s you.”

“Yeah! I’ve come for our little spa-date! Mind if I come inside?” Flutters asked.

“I’m sorry, dear, but this mud bath is full.” Rarity said rudely to her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but…. There’s no one else inside with you.” Flutters said confusingly.

“Really? Oh I haven’t noticed?” Rarity said sarcastically.

“Why are you speaking like that to me? Not that it’s a much of a big deal.” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh? So we’re playing stupid now, huh? Ok, Fluttershy, I’ll join along! You ruined my favorite outfit!” Rarity said angrily at her.

“What?! No I didn’t!” Flutters said.

“Don’t lie to me!” Rarity said angrily as she walked out of the mud bath and towards Fluttershy with a very angry look. “I saw you, and you did it on purpose! You knew I didn’t want my favorite outfit dirty, and you decided to just ruin it anyway, because I knew you were jealous!”

Fluttershy was really confused and scared. “Please don’t hurt me. I just came here to relieve my stress.”

“Oh yeah? What could you POSSIBLY have that is more stressful than what I’m going through right now?!” Rarity asked.

“Howdy, ladies.” Engie said upsettingly as he walked inside.

“Well, well, well! Look who decided to show his face? You really got some nerve coming here, Engineer!” Fluttershy said angrily at him.

“Beg yer pardon, Fluttershy?” Engie asked.

“Don’t play dumb with me! You came here to ruin my day some more? HUH?!” Fluttershy yelled in his face.

“What did ah do?!” Engie asked.

“You made my animals fat and my bear EXTRA dirty! I’d have to give him six more baths to remove the mud off him!” Flutters explained angrily.

“Whoa, Flutters! Calm down! Ah have no idea what ya’ll are talking about!” Engie said confusingly. “All ah’m doin is relieving’ mah stress because it appears Blaze played a prank on me! Think it’s funny to switch blueprints on me like that! Now ah created mailbox which is destroyin’ the whole darn-ol city and ah need to calm down!”

“What’s with all these pranks that are going on?” Crystal asked while having her mane under a big hair dryer.

“What’s yer story, Crystal?” Engie asked.

“Well, I was trying to play a prank on Pinkie today, but AppleJack thought it was funny to ruin the prank, AND ruin my mane style while she was at it!” Crystal complained, removing her head from the hair dryer, showing her mane to be all messy and green. “Oh, and she also dyed it green.”

“GREEN HAIR?! That monster!” Rarity yelled.

“Yeah, no kidding!” Crystal said.

“It’s not easy being green.” Kermit the Frog said from the sauna.

“Well while y’all were doin’ a prank on Pinkie, Crystal, she made me break mah ankle!” AppleJack complained while getting a message, and showing everyone her cast on her hind hoof.

“And don’t get me started on Psyche!” Aqua said while relaxing in the hot tub. “He stole my water purifier, and now my sister Wind Racer is sick because of all the germs she’s been gettin by drinkin’ water.”

Just then, Engie’s cell phone starts to ring, and he answers it. “Hello?” Engie started. “Oh hey Psyche! Put you on speaker? Alright.” Engie puts his cell phone on speaker so Psyche could speak to everyone.

“And don’t get me started on Rainbow Dash paralyzing me when she made me drink all that cream soda!” Psyche yelled from the phone. “I’m still lying here on the Sugarcube Corner floor and keep getting stepped on!”

Rainbow Dash then suddenly bursts inside and jumps into the hot tub quickly, and she was shivering. “A-a-a-a-a-as if! N-n-n-none of this would’ve happened i-i-i-i-if Aqua d-d-d-d-d-didn’t…..” Rainbow started coughing.

“Aqua dumped a bucket of water on Rainbow, and Crystal ruined my concentration on my stunt.” Blaze said as he held a bag of ice on his head.

Pinkie then bursts inside, looking really angry, and she was really steaming. “YOU’RE DEAD, RARITY!”

“WHAT?! What did I do?” Rarity asked.

Pinkie ran up to Rarity’s face and shouted; “Because of you taking all the brownies and ruining the bathroom, Mr. Cake worked so hard to clean! I CAN’T HOST ANOTHER PARTY THERE FOR A WEEK!” Pinkie screamed and Rarity’s face so loud that the towel flew off Rarity’s mane, and that scream really messed it up.

“MY HAIR!” Rarity yelled.

Everypony started arguing with eachother and some pushing around was occurred as well, and it looked like some fights were about to start, but Blaze stood up and yelled; “EVERYPONY STOP!” Everypony stopped what they were doing and looked at him. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but these pranks aren’t a coincidence; I think somepony is messing with us…. Or something.”

“What do ya mean, Blaze?” Aqua asked.

“What I mean is, I think this whole thing was planned out! Did you all find something quite strange when these pranks occurred?” Blaze asked.

“Now that you mentioned it, how can I be shivering when Aqua poured the water all over me, when Aqua was all wet as well and didn’t feel a thing?” Rainbow asked.

“Just because I like gettin’ wet, doesn’t mean I can’t shiver.” Aqua informed her.

“That’s what she said!” Engie said.

“Fluttershy would never ruin my favorite outfit on purpose!” Rarity said.

“Of course I wouldn’t! I liked your outfit, it was beautiful.” Flutters said.

“Yeah….. was.” Rarity said sadly.

“Trust me, if ah pranked somepony, it wouldn’t be givin’ them green hair. It would be somethin’ way funnier than that.” AppleJack admitted.

“I would never startle AppleJack while she’s working!” Pinkie said.

“Yes ya would.” AppleJack said, glaring at her.

“Oh, right!” Pinkie said as she giggled.

“How did I exactly ruin your concentration, Blaze?” Crystal asked.

“You tilted my head.” Blaze said.

“You can tilt somepony’s head to ruin their concentration?” Crystal asked.

“So you obviously couldn’t do it.” Blaze said.

“Now wait just a gah-darn second! Out of our groups, Twilight and Flare are the only ones not here.” Engie said.

“And Psyche, but he’s paralyzed.” AppleJack added.

“That is true! Where are they?” Rainbow asked.

“This has Flare’s name ridden all over it!” Rainbow said. “Also I’m not cold anymore it seems.”

“Now hold on! These pranks are just too clever for Flare, maybe it was Twilight.” Crystal assumed.

“No! Don’t you see! We all thought it was eachother who did it because we all looked like us when we did it! So the fact remains….. it was a changeling!” Blaze said.

“A changeling?!” Pinkie yelled.

“YES! A changeling! Isn’t it quite obvious?! They can survive cold waters because their blood is extra warm; and disgusting themselves as us kinda gives it away; and they’re nasty little buggers! I hate them so much!” Blaze said angrily.

“Wow! If only you can listen how racist you sound right now!” Crystal said.

“It’s only racist if I talk about another type of pony, like an earth pony, but changelings…. they’re a totally different species! They ruin our lives just for fun!” Blaze said.

“So, what are we going to do?” Flutters asked.

“I say we should capture that changeling and force it to tell us why they did it, and then punish them good!” Rainbow suggested.

“Yeah! We should make it watch the SUPER MARIO BROS MOVIE!” Pinkie yelled.

“WHOA! Pinkie that’s pretty overkill!” Rainbow said in shock and then she gave her a mischievous look. “I like it!”

“And if there’s one pony who researches changelings, it’s Twilight! She can help us catch it!” Blaze suggested.

“So what are we waiting for? Let’s go get lard!” Pinkie yelled.

“No! Let’s go to Twilght’s and get her to help us stop it!” Engie yelled. So they all left the spa to go to Twilight’s for help. They headed over there and explain to her everything. It’s too much to explain again, so I’ll just skip on to the part where she heard everything.

“So let me get this straight, you’ve all been getting pranks, which you thought it was eachother, but it was actually a changeling?” Twilight asked. They all agreed at the same time. “Well, that would explain a lot. I don’t know much about changelings though.”

“C’mon Twilight! Ya have to help us!” Engie begged.

“Yeah! This changeling is messing with our lives, and it must be STOPPED!” Rainbow yelled.

“Well, I do know what attracts a changeling is love.” Twilight said.

“So what are you saying, dear?” Rarity asked.

“I think I might know.” Crystal said as she gives Aqua a seductive look.

“No.” Aqua said as he glared at her.

“What I’m saying is – if there’s enough love in one place, it’ll attract the nearest changeling, and we’ll trap it, and question it!” Twilight said.

“But the question is… where would we find such love?” Psyche asked.

“Me and Rarity!” Spike suggested.

“Oh Spikey! Not yet, dear!” Rarity said as she patted him on the head, friendzoning him again.

“Aww man.” Spike said, feeling buzzkilled.

“Rainbow and I are married.” Blaze suggested.

“Yeah, and there’s me and Flare!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“And me and… oh wait… I’m all alone!” Psyche said as he started crying.

“Sounds good to me! Let’s get his trap planned out, and we’ll meet at Flare’s shop tonight!” Twilight instructed everyone.

“We should go get some supplies though. Ah might know of a place we can get some. Follow me.” Engie instructed everyone as everypony started to follow him out.

“Hey Spike, can you get things settled here?” Twilight asked him.

“On the double!” Spike said, saluting her. Twilight walks out with the rest of my friends and then closes the door behind them. Spike was now alone in the library just about to clean up, but then Twilight was standing there near the desk. Hey, didn’t she just leave? Wink, wink! “Twilight? Didn’t just walk out?”

“Hi, Spike! I’m Twilight! WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS, I’m very boring, WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS, BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS, and more BOOKS!” Twilight said.

“Uhh, are you ok Twilight?” Spike asked.

“I am not Twilight!” Twilight said, changing into Rarity. “Don’t you want a kiss, Spikey Wikey?”

Spike started screaming. “AAAAH! IT’S THE CHANGELING!” Spike started running to the door, but then I flew in front of it blocking his exit.

“Relax, brah! Relax!” I said as I tried calming him down, still looking like Rarity.

“KEEP AWAY FROM ME, CHANGELING! Here, take the owl first!” Spike cried, pointing at Owlowiscious. Owlowisious just annoyedly facewinged himself.

“Spike, it’s ok! It’s me!” I said as I changed back to my changeling self.

“I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR TRICKS, CHANGELING! YOU WILL NOT TAKE ME ALIVE!” Spike yelled, protecting himself with a stool.

“Spike, stop being ridiculous. I’m not a cop.” I said as I used my magic to remove the stool from his hands.

“I will not fall for your tricks!” Spike yelled. “I know karate!”

“Bro, it’s me, Flare! Chrysalis said I couldn’t tell anypony, but you’re not anyPONY! Huh? HUH?!” I chuckled.

“Well… you sound like Flare, but…. IT’S NOT TRUE! FLARE IS NOT A CHANGELING!” Spike yelled.

“Spike, the last video game we played was Rage; I know you sleep with a blankey; I got you an XBUCKS for Hearth’s Warming; and the current password to get to my trailer is ‘I ATE THE BONES?!’” I said in the accent of the guy from the KFC Boneless chicken commercials.

Spike stopped getting scared, and he started looking into my eyes. “Flare?!”

“Sup brah?” I asked.

“B-but how?! You’re not a changeling! You’ve been a changeling this whole time?!” Spike asked.

“No, no! I just turned into one last night!” I said.

“But how?!” Spike asked.

“Well, it was a long story.” I AM NOT REPEATING THE WHOLE STORY AGAIN, you all know what happened, so I’ll just skip on to where I explained it to him already!

“Wow… I don’t believe this!” Spike said shockingly.

“The changelings need me, brah; and this was the only way I could help them. They’re not the disgusting evil creatures you think they are.” I said.

“Well…. I believe you, bro, but Twilight and the other’s are currently after a changeling.” Spike said.

“Yeah, I know, I heard the conversation.” I said.

“I didn’t see an extra pony in here? Who were you?” Spike asked.

“I was in the form of Psyche in the meeting, but Psyche isn’t here. He’s still paralyzed at Sugarcube Corner.” I informed him.

“Ah… Psyche crying like that kinda felt out of place a bit.” Spike nodded.

“So once they find out, they’ll be after you, you know?” Spike reminded me.

“They won’t find out, unless SOMEONE spills the beans!” I said as I smirked at Spike.

“What?” Spike asked.

“Don’t tell them!” I demanded.

“Who said you were the boss of me?” Spike asked.

“I’ll give you a Spikey-Snack if you don’t tell.” I said.

“Yeah it’s going to take A LOT more than a Spikey-Snack.” Spike said.

“Two Spikey-Snacks?” I asked.

“Ok, you win, I won’t say a thing.” Spike said.

“Excellent! Open wide!” I said as I took out two gems from Spike’s Spikey-Snack box and threw it in his mouth.

“Spikey-Spikey Doo!” Spike yelled out. “By the way, I’m taking advantage over the times I stay home because I then I’m able to watch soooooooo much classic Doctor Who.”

“Oh cool, which part you in?” I asked.

“Tom Baker’s third season.” Spike said.

“Wow that’s far!” I said impressively.

“Watching the black and white videos are hard sometimes because most of them are just sounds and pictures after some of the episodes went missing.” Spike said.

“Let’s make that the next Flare Through Time one. We go back and watch classic Doctor Who at its former glory.” I suggested.

“I agree.” Spike nodded.

Later that night, back at my shop, it was after closing time, and after Lyra and Bonnie were still competing really hard to get their employee of the month, they had to lock up and leave because it was closing time. “If it was my decision, I’d stay there all night.” Lyra said.

“That all you can do, Lyra? I’d stay there all month if I had to!” Bonnie said.

“Tomorrow I’m going to get myself Five Hour Energy, Red Bull, and coffee and then combine it all. Let’s see how awake I’d stay with THAT!” Lyra said.

After my employees all went out or range, Silver Link later came in to order the next batch of pizzas. “Hello, Flare!” Silver Link said.

“Sup brah?” I asked.

“Not much! How was your first day as a changeling?” Silver Link asked.

“It was great! With these new powers, I did pranks on other ponies, but others were to blame! You know what I mean?” I explained.

“I read you loud and clear!” Silver Link said. “Time for our next batch of pizzas!”

“Coming right up!” I said. As I started working, the Mane Six and the Noble Six were walking towards my shop, so they could prepare the trap for the changeling.

“This is so awesome! We’re going to catch ourselves a changeling!” Rainbow said excitedly.

“I know I’m so psyched out!” Crystal said. “Speaking of psyched out, where is Psyche?”

A cutaway shows Psyche still laying down on Sugarcube Corner still paralyzed on the floor. “When is this paralyzer going to ware off? I really have to pee!” he complained.

“Stay out of my bathroom!” Mr. Cake demanded.

“Here’s a measuring cup for you, dearie.” Mrs. Cake said as she places a measuring cup next to Psyche.

“Ew! You want me to pee in there?” Psyche asked.

“Meh… we get new ones every day since Pinkie normally breaks them all.” Mrs. Cake said. The cutaway ends.

Just before the Mane and Noble Sixes were able to walk inside my shop, they stopped instantly as Engie calls out. “Wait! Ah see the changeling!” he points inside my shop.

“I see it too! It’s inside Flare’s shop!” Rainbow said.

“Do you see Flare?” Flutters asked.

“No, but the lights in the kitchen are still on. Is Flare making a pizza for it?” Rainbow asked.

“Perhaps. Flare would accept anything as a customer as long as they pay.” Blaze said.

“Well, it seems Flare likes to take risks in his business.” Rarity said surprisingly. “I envy him for that.”

“We have to get inside and trap it!” Twilight said.

“Right! Follow my lead, I know just what to do!” Blaze said mischievously. Back inside, I was talking to Silver Link while cooking my food.

“Hey Flare, why you still in your regular pony form? No one is here but us.” Silver Link asked.

“I know, but I like my old form. Maybe you should change yourself into a pony too, just in case.” I suggested.

“Hey, Flare, you remember when you said yesterday when you felt like you were being watched?” Silver Link asked.

I sighed. “Sigh… yes… I know you want me to switch to Geico; well all these entertaining ads aren’t really going to get me any closer to it. I’m sticking with Allstate.”

Just then I heard a lot of racket coming in from the dining room. Heard some loud noises and some yelling. “What the?!” Silver Link yells. The racket was ruining my concentration so I went out there to check on everything. “WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!” I yelled. I saw my friends trapping Silver Link and tying it up. “WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!”

“We’re digging to Antarctica!” Crystal said in a high-pitched voice.

“Ant-who-ica?” I asked.

“Sorry, Flare, but this changeling is trespassin’ on pony property, and we’re bringing it to justice!” Engie said.

“YOU PONIES ARE NUTS!” Silver Link yelled.

“What is this all about?” I asked.

“This changeling has been pranking us all day! But the question is…. why?” Twilight asked.

“Ow, ow! You’re stepping on my wing!” Silver Link yelled.

“Oh…. It appears it is time to tell the truth.” I said.

“What are you talkin’ about, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked.

“Brahs, I have a confession to make.” I started. “Silver Link here is not the changeling that’s been pranking you all day…… I am.”

“What?!” they all said.

“Ha ha! Very funny, Flare!” Crystal laughed.

“You’re not a changeling, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Yes I am! I turned into one last night.” I said as I changed into Blaze. Everypony gasped.

“Whoa! Nice replica of me, Flare!” Blaze said shockingly.

“Oh woops… I can’t get this changing thing under control!” I complained as I changed into my regular changeling form and they all gasped. “You see….” And there I go explaining it all again. Getting really tired of explaining it a lot!

“So you’re the changelings only hope in saving them?” Twilight asked.

“Wow, Flare. That would explain a lot. You’re doing a great thing for them.” Flutters said.

“I don’t agree! Changelings are disgusting vile creatures! Why would you want to help them?” Blaze asked.

“Why not?” I asked.

“They feed upon us, and they nearly took over Equestria a few times already!” Blaze said.

“All they want is love, brah! Their kingdom is dying, and they need love! I can’t just cook pizzas for them! The ponies need to show some love and compassion to the changelings! How much do you know about them anyway?” I explained.

“You know what? Flare does have a point there.” Twilight said.

“Please, tell me you’re joking, Twilight!” Blaze complained.

“I’m not! I understand why Queen Chrysalis tries to impersonate as Cadance to get to my brother. The love those two have for eachother is strong! The changelings need the power of love to survive; otherwise they’ll just die out.” Twilight said.

“Well good!” Blaze said.

“What about me, Blaze? Do you have a problem with me? I AM a changeling after all!” I said.

“Only because they turned you into one! You’re the same ol Flare I knew before.” Blaze said.

“Blaze, c’mon!” Twilight begged.

“You all want to help them? Fine! Just leave me out of this!” Blaze said angrily as he walked out of the shop.

“What is his problem?” Engie asked.

“Can someone PLEASE untie me?” Silver Link asked. So we all untied Silver, and he got back up on his hooves.

“We’re sorry about all this.” Flutters said.

“Yeah, we didn’t know this was all just survival missions ya’ve been doing.” Aqua said.

“It’s ok. I’m glad we have an understanding.” Silver Link said.

“You know what? I think I have a way for us to fix this!” I said.

“Oh? Do tell!” Silver Link asked. So Twilight, Silver Link, and I went back to the Changeling kingdom to set things right. Twilight gave them supplies of love potion to help survive. While we were doing so, I was thinking of my message for Princess Luna:

“Dear Princess Luna, Not all evil beings are all they seem. They only do what they need to survive. I learned that the changelings need love in order to live-on, so I decided to help them, but I couldn’t stand on telling anypony else. If we can just explain every situation with your friends, I’m sure they’ll help out too. To those who have problems and the only way they think of doing it is an evil way, help them find a better alternative, otherwise don’t help them at all. Your friend, Crystal Iceblast. PS: This is actually Flare talking, but I formed myself as Crystal when I wrote this. L-O-L.”

“There we go, Chrysalis! Supplies of love potions that’ll keep your kingdom running for a long time.” Twilight said.

“Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. I was wrong about you. I’m sorry I banished you to the caves under Canterlot during the wedding.” Chrysalis said.

Twilight chuckled. “It’s no problem! You seemed to learn your lesson now.”

“For how long though?” Chrysalis asked. “I mean, it’s not me, it’s my mother you should be worried about. She hates ponies!”

“Well…. I don’t hate you, Chrysalis.” I said.

“I don’t hate you either, Flare Gun. Even though you irritate me, you’re not the weirdo I thought you were.” Chrysalis said.

“Don’t worry, it’s my friend Blaze you should be worried about. He still hasn’t gone over his hatred for the changelings.” I said.

“I’m sure if we just be patient, he’ll warm up to the idea!” Twilight said.

“And here, Chrysalis, maybe you also might want a friend to keep you company.” I suggested.

“Oh? What friend is that?” Chrysalis asked. Just then, I took the money with eyes out of my vest pocket and gave it to her. “What’s this?”

“The money you WILL be saving with Geico!” I said. “He’ll keep you company. Keep watch for trouble!”

“Wow… thank you, but….” Chrysalis stares at it for a sec and then starts to freak out. “Ehh, you keep it. It freaks me out.”

“It’s not even mine to give away.” I said as I threw the money with eyes aside.

“I hope my mother warms up to ponies as well.” Chrysalis said.

“CHRYSALIIIIIIIIIIS!” a voice was heard in the background.

“Oh shoot! It’s my mother!” Chrysalis yelled.

“Our work here is done anyway.” Twilight said. “Thanks for everything, Chrysalis!”

“If I ever come back to attack Equestria, it’s only to keep my mother from doing my job for me! Trust me, I was easy to Canterlot during the wedding crisis! If my mother were there, well…. Let’s not go into details.” Chrysalis said.

“It’s ok! C’mon, Flare! Let’s go home!” Twilight said.

“Right behind you, Light!” I said.

But just before we headed out, Chrysalis stopped me; “Wait, Flare Gun! There’s one more thing I need to do!”

“I am NOT giving you my secret recipe!” I swore.

“No, not that.” Chrysalis said as she used her magic on me, and she turned me back into my old pony self.

“W-what did you just do?” I asked as I looked at my hooves.

“I took away your changelings powers.” Chrysalis said.

“Aw whaaaaaat?!” I complained. “After all I done for you, you took away my changeling powers?!”

“Trust me, it’s for the best.” Chrysalis said as she winked at me.

“Awww. There were a few pranks I still needed to do!” I complained, but before I could finish, Twilight already teleported us both away. I’m no longer a changeling, and Blaze is happy that we got rid of them. I hope the love potions we gave Chrysalis will help the kingdom out. Now everything is back to normal! Although there is one thing I still need to do. I was at my shop with Bonnie and Lyra, and they were still working hard. I came out and said; “Alright! Lyra, Bon Bon! It’s time!”

“Awesome! Who wins employee of the month?” Lyra asked.

“The winner….” I started. “…. Of employee of the month…..” both of their eyes grew bigger and so did their smiles. “…. For this month…. Of January….. goes to….. a hardworking employee….. who done very well….. without much problems….. and is somepony I can trust completely….. and deserves to know the location of my secret recipe, in case something goes wrong….. and that particular pony is….. somepony that I love and dear as a friend-“

“OH FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE, FLARE!” Lyra yelled.

“C’mon! Tell us already!” Bonnie said.

“The winner is….. Derpy!” I said.

“WHAT?!” Lyra and Bonnie gasped in surprise.

“Yay! What did I win?” Derpy asked.

“How did Derpy win?” Bonnie asked.

“C’mon! She’s not even a full-time employee!” Lyra complained.

“Yes, and even though she made mistakes, she still worked hard, but she didn’t work for employee of the month like you two did. You two only worked to get it, even though you should be working hard all the time, and Derpy did the job!” I explained.

“You know what? You’re right, Flare. We did try too hard.” Bonnie agreed. “Derpy deserves to win.”

“What did I win?” Derpy asked.

“I guess we should’ve worked hard all this time, then we would’ve won employee of the month.” Lyra said.

“I’m glad you learned your lessons, but your effort shall not go unrewarded!” I said.

“Really? What did we win?” Lyra asked.

“I’ll take you all on a trip!” I said.

“Wow! Where are we going, Flare? On a sunny beach vacation?” Bonnie asked.

“Nope!” I said.

“A trip to a big city like Manehatten?” Lyra asked.

“Try again!” I said.

“Ooo, ooo! The Crystal Empire?!” Bonnie asked.

“BETTER THAN THAT!” I said.

“The recycling plant?” Derpy asked.

“Aw c’mon, there’s no way we’re going there!” Bonnie said as she rolled her eyes.

“Actually, we are!” I said.

“WHAT?!” Bonnie and Lyra both gasped again.

“C’mon! That trip is better than nothing!” I said.

“Yeah no thanks, we’d rather stay here, but thank you, Flare!” Lyra said.

“I second that!” Bonnie said. “C’mon Lyra, let’s go on our lunch break.” Lyra and Bonnie both left the shop to go to their lunch break.

I looked at Derpy and said, “It’s too bad. A full tour of the recycling plant, they give you a free pack of bottles full of root beer and a 1500 bit gift card to any gas station!”

“Oh well! I guess we’ll have fun without them!” Derpy said and giggled.

Meanwhile, over at Sugarcube Corner….

“I’m so going to kill Rainbow Dash next time I see her.” Psyche said, still paralyzed on the ground. “I somehow feel that I’m being watched.”

“Aww, you got me!” a random gecko complained. “But you could still save hundreds by switching to Geico!”

Election Fever (FiE Challenge)

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Hey brahs! Do I have a treat for you for this chapter! Ok… I’m going to be doing something new in my story. Once every few chapters, I dunno the distance to be sure, I’m going to be doing something known as the Friendship is Epic challenge. For every chapter I announce this challenge, I’m going to be doing something that I don’t normally do in any other chapter. Maybe I’ll NOT say a certain word, or I will speak in a difference language, or maybe I’ll wear stacks of hats throughout the whole chapter on my head, or I have octopus legs. Hey, your call if you want! YOU, that’s right YOU, the readers will have a chance to suggest on what I should do if I decide to take the challenge. For this chapter I’ll be starting off with something easy: I’m going to dress like a pirate; that means I have to wear an eye-patch and a peg leg on my left hind leg throughout the whole chapter. Alright, let’s get started!

The last day of winter has finally come and you know what’s interesting? This is my very first Winter Wrap-Up! When I lived in Mareami, I had to make preparations for the northern birds when winter up here started, and at this time, Mareami’s Winter Wrap-Up is Bird Doo-doo Wrap-Up mostly. We start off in the morning of the last winter day where I was sleeping on Pinkie’s bed. Pinkie starts jumping on the bed, trying to wake me up. “Wake up, Flare! Wake up, it’s Winter Wrap Up Day!”

“Daddy?” I mumbled as I was still half-asleep.

“Winter Wrap Up!” Pinkie repeated herself.

“You’re not daddy.” I said as I fell back asleep. “Thank goodness.”

“So that’s how you’re going to be, huh?” Pinkie asked as she goes through her party trunk to find an air-horn. Once she finds it, she aims the air-horn close to my face, and then she bonks me on the head with it.

“OW!” I yelled as I rubbed my head.

“WAKE UP!” Pinkie demanded.

“I’M AWAKE!” I yelled.

“GOOD! I’M GLAD YOU ARE!” Pinkie yelled as she then blows the air horn on my face.

“I’m soooo never spending the night with Pinkie EVER again!” I complained. So after breakfast was done, I headed outside to get some fresh air, and take a good look at the beautiful winter snow one last time. “Ahhh, what a beautiful snowy day! It’s too bad it’s all leaving though, sad face.” I said. “Well, at least I get to do Winter Wrap-Up for the very first time! Not like back in Mareami, where I had to do Bird Doo-doo Wrap-Up. How would the birds feel if I did that to their carriage?”

“Hey, Flare!” Crystal said.

“Sup brahs?” I asked.

“Not much, what’s up with ya?” Aqua asked.

“I’m feeling GREAT! This is my very first Winter Wrap-Up, you know? This is so awesome!” I said excitedly.

“Yeah, mate. Winter Wrap-Up is really a fun event to participate in.” Aqua said.

“I remember my first Winter Wrap-Up!” Crystal said. A cutaway shows Crystal piling snow into packages and then shoving them into a mailbox. “And let’s not forget the year they got me to retrieve the southern birds!” Another cutaway gag shows Crystal shoving birds in packages and shoving them in more mail boxes. “And there’s the year I had to get the nests ready.” A third cutaway gag shows Crystal successfully making a nest, and then sets it safely on a tree… and then she puts the entire tree into a package and shoves it into a mailbox.

“I wonder what we’re doin this year though.” Aqua wondered.

“I so wanna get the southern birds! It’s the right job for me!” I said excitedly.

“Well we’ll see.” Aqua said.

“What do you mean we’ll see?” I asked.

“You don’t pick your job. Mayor Mare is the one that picks out the jobs for everypony, Flare.” Aqua reminded me.

“Well….. I’m sure with enough requests I’m pretty sure the mayor will give me the job! I’m capable of doing the assignments I’m interested in doing!” I said.

“Well, that remains to be seen.” Aqua said.

“As long as I have enough packages, this Winter Wrap-Up is going to be a breeze for me!” Crystal said. “No pun intended.” So, the three of us walked over to town hall for our town meeting on how this Winter Wrap-Up is going to work.

Aqua, Crystal, and I walked on over to the crowd and met up with the rest of our friends, and then Engie said to us, “Howdy you three!”

“Sup bra- WHOA!” I yelled as my peg leg tripped over the snow a bit.

“You alright, man?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I said.

“What’s up, Flare? I heard this is your first Winter Wrap-Up!” Rainbow Dash assumed as she elbowed me which made me lose my balance a bit.

“Whoa! Whoa….. whoa…. it sure it, sista! This isn’t going to be a hard task is it?” I asked.

“Nah, it’ll be easy! The mayor just assigns us which team to go on and Twilight organizes us so we can get winter finished, and on with spring!” Rainbow explained.

“What puzzles me is, why are we doing Winter Wrap-Up the day RIGHT before Spring?” I asked. “I mean, it’ll be a rush if we do it today. If we started a few days ahead, maybe we wouldn’t rush so much.”

“Our town population has increased, BIG TIME!” Engie said. “Ah think we’ll be fine, no rush!”

“What do you guys usually do in Winter Wrap-Up?” I asked.

“I just lead the pegasus team to clearing the clouds.” Rainbow said.

“Didn’t you say you can clear all the clouds by yourself in 10 seconds flat?” I asked.

“Yeah…. Why?” Rainbow asked.

“Now that it’s Winter Wrap-Up, you ask for help! You keep saying you can clear the clouds yourself in 10 seconds flat, so how why don’t you do so? It’ll save us all a lot of time. Depot time!” . explained.

“Well….. I……” Rainbow stuttered nervously a bit because I sure did confuse her!

“I usually go around with a couple of other ponies, makin’ sure the water supply in town is running smoothly, and makin’ sure it’s not too frozen. I’m assuming that’s what I’m doing today.” Aqua said.

“I hope I get to help wake up the animals!” Crystal said excitedly.

“Oh, well be careful when you do so, Crystal. They’re awfully sensitive.” Fluttershy said.

“I read you loud and clear Flutters!” Crystal said, winking at her.

“What are you going to do Psyche, wherever you are?” I asked.

“I’m to the left of you.” Psyche informed me.

“Sure explains it. I’m wearing an eye-patch on my left eye so my coronation isn’t so good.” I said.

“I dunno; this is my first Winter Wrap-Up in Ponyville. Hope it won’t be as hard as Winter Wrap-Up in Trottingham was!” Psyche hoped. A cutaway shows Psyche in Trottingham, shoveling snow off the roofs of buildings using a plastic spoon. Did I mention these buildings are hiiiiiiiiiiigh? The cutaway ends.

“How about you Engie?” I asked.

“Ah usually build some bots in doin’ the job for me, but everypony keeps calling me a lazy-geek because of it, so ah have to help mah bots out now whenever somepony walks by where I am. When nopony is around, that’s when ah goof off” Engie said.

“Man, I can’t believe the Mayor has to choose our jobs for us! Why can’t we pick our own?” Crystal asked.

“If I were mayor, I’d make freedom of choice, no matter the circumstances.” Psyche said.

“Hey Psyche?” I asked.

“Yes?” Psyche asked.

“SHUT UP!” I ordered him.

“Fillies and gentlecolts; welcome to the Ponyville Winter Wrap-Up 2013!” Mayor Mare started while talking on a mic in front of town hall and everypony cheered. “Now, first and foremost, let me say a few words before we get started. This winter was a big one!”

“Ok, that was a few words!” Pinkie teased in the audience and everypony laughed.

“Yes, very funny Pinkie Pie!” the mayor said as she fixes her glasses. “Now, since this winter had more snow then anything else, we ordered bigger plows for the farms, and some bigger shovels. I would like to personally thank Big McIntosh and Caramel for ordering them for us!” Everypony cheered and Caramel waved to everypony and Big Mac just shyly stroked his hoof. “Even though there’s more snow than we ever had, that would not mean it’ll mess with our honor! We will get Spring here on time, and with Twilight Sparkle as our organizer, we’ll be sure to stay on top! Now let’s get this Winter Wrap-Up started!” Everypony cheered. So the mayor gave the leaders ponies a clipboard, and collection of colored vests. The Weather Team leader was Rainbow Dash again, the Plant Team AppleJack, and Animal Team Amethyst Star.

“Ok! I’ll need Fluttershy, Rarity, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, Minuette Colgate, Lemon Hearts, Sea Swirl, Crystal Iceblast, Spark Note, Psyche Illusion, Adventure Blade, Crèmepop, and Twinkleshine over here, please!” Amethyst Star called out.

“Awesome! I get to be on the Animal Team again!” Crystal cheered.

“Aww! I hope get to wake up the cute little grizzly bears!” Spark Note shoped.

“Alright Plant Team! Ah need Berry Punch, Caramel, Big Mac, Cherry Berry, Doctor Whooves, Carrot Top, Daisy, Red Engineer, Woodenshy, Stereo, Cheerilee, Shoeshine, Daisy, and Coconut to come over here, please!” AppleJack called out.

“It’s just the Doctor. Why does everypony keep saying my name wrong?” the Doctor complained.

“Ah think ah know just the bot for this assignment! Ah was hopin to get this job!” Engie said.

“Alright, everypony! Give me Pinkie Pie, Cloud Kicker, Derpy, Dizzy Twister, Parasol, Rainbowshine, Flare Gun, Water Gun, Raindrops, Sassaflash, Blaze Goldheart, Black Thunder, Mynx, and Aquatic Armor!” Rainbow Dash called out.

“Yes! Isn’t this great, Flarey? Our first Winter Wrap-Up and we get to be on the same team!” Water cheered.

“I know! I hope we get the birds! That way we can go back home and see our family! Praise the necromancers!” I cheered.

“Whoa, Flare! That’s evil!” Water said in shock.

“Here you two go!” Rainbow Dash said, giving us blue vests.

“Oh this is awesome!” Water said, putting the vest over the vest she was already wearing, and I did the same with my jacket. “Hey how come you wear a jacket but I still wear a vest?”

“You’ve been out of Mareami longer than I have, sis.” I said. “You’re used to the cold.”

“Alright, it’s time to give you all the jobs that Twilight and the mayor gave us!” Rainbow said, looking through the clipboard she’s holding. “Black Thunder, Mynx, Cloud Kicker, Dizzy Twister; you’re with me in the clouds!”

“As I expected! Can I do awesome skateboarding stunts while I’m up there?” Thunder asked.

“No problem, dude! Doing stunts always gets the job done!” Rainbow said. “Aqua, you know what to do! Make sure the water in town is unfrozen and it is fresh!”

“I’ll do my best, Rainbow.” Aqua said.

“To make things easier, Twilight suggested in taking Water with you.” Rainbow said.

“Sounds cool!” Aqua nodded.

“Alright, Aqua! We’re going on another adventure together it seems!” Water said, putting her hoof around him.

“Yes, indeed.” Aqua said.

“Aww, but I thought we were going to do the birds together?” I asked.

“Sorry, Flarey! Give mom and dad my love!” Water requested.

“Pinkie, you’ll handle the ice that’s frozen in the lake.” Rainbow instructed her.

“Okee dokey lokey!” Pinkie said.

“And since Derpy keeps getting lost in getting the southern birds, you’ll be the one in getting them Blaze!” Rainbow instructed him.

“But I wanted to stay here with you, Rainbow!” Blaze complained.

“I’ll be here when you get back! Just get the job done fast, and come back here and see me!” Rainbow instructed him.

“You’re right! I can get the job done fast. Don’t worry about a thing, Dashie! I’ll be back in an hour when I get all the birds.” Blaze said.

“Go get ‘em tiger!” Rainbow said, and then Blaze flew off to get them.

“Wait, if Blaze is getting the birds, what am I going to do?” I asked.

“You and the rest of the team will get all the snow off the rooftops, and make sure no snow is overflowing the sewage drains.” Rainbow instructed me.

“Make sure the baby doesn’t go into the kitchen and what?” I asked.

“Is something wrong?” Rainbow asked.

“You’re darn right something’s wrong! I wanted to get the birds!” I complained.

“Sorry, but this is what the Mayor chose.” Rainbow said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, well I’m going to go complain to that mayor! I wanna do the jobs I WANNA DO!” I shouted.

“Then go ahead, complain. On the way there, go get those rooftops cleaned off.” Rainbow ordered me. I just glared at her and then I walked back over to town hall to go complain to the Mayor. I knocked on the door three times saying her name.

“Come in!” the mayor called out while sitting at her desk. I opened the door and walked inside. “Ah, Flare Gun! What can I do for you?”

“Yeah, while we’re all here working our flanks off outside, you get to relax in here over a cup of hot cocoa!” I complained.

“I’m sorry, Flare, but I still have all this paperwork to fill out. Besides, Twilight assigned everypony a position, and I trust her to do well.” Mayor said.

“Well….. I have a complaint.” I said.

“What’s your complaint?” the mayor asked.

“I wanted to be the one to go get the southern birds, since I know the south very well, it’s no problem! Why did you gave Blaze the job, but not me?” I asked.

“Twilight says Blaze Goldheart is a fast flyer and knows to get the job done. He’s a Wonderbolt after all, and he’s been to the south before many times.” the mayor explained.

“I know, but I used to live in Mareami. I wanted to go home and see my family and you want me to do a janitor’s job?!” I asked.

“Mr. Gun, Winter Wrap-Up is a big event! I know you’re from a city that doesn’t know anything about Winter Wrap-Up, but I assure you, Twilight and I discussed it over, and we know what’s best to make sure Spring is here on time.” the mayor explained.

“I know, but still! I want to see my family! Why can’t we choose our own jobs?” I asked.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Gun. Now, please, go back to your assigned job.” The mayor instructed me.

“But, mayor!” I whined.

“No more on this subject. I have a lot of work to do.” the Mayor said.

“Yeah, my flank!” I mumbled to myself as I walked out as I was about to walk out the door but thanks to my bad coronation, I slammed onto the side and hit my head. “OW!” I cried, and then I got myself straightened out, walked out, and was about to slam the door behind me, but the door didn’t do any harm to me, so I closed it gentlely. No need to put my anger on those who don’t deserve it. Isn’t that right, mayor’s office door? *starts talking in a squeaky voice* Oh, you’re right, Flare. You’re such a friendly guy, and so good-looking! *regular voice* Oh well thank you, door! How very kind of you! Don’t let yourself hit you on the way out.

After a few minutes, I angrily went up to the first rooftop I saw and I started kicking the snow off, and sometimes I used my flare spell or hornsaber to help melt the snow, but I have to admit, it wasn’t easy walking on the rooftop, nor was it safe, under my condition. I started complaining to myself whist doing my job. “Stupid Mayor! She thinks she runs this town! Well I second that! Just wait until the next election! I am NOT voting for her! She makes me sick!” I groaned as I kicked snow off the roof, but the snow landed on somepony down below because I heard a gasp, and some mumbling coming from a pile of snow below me. I jumped on down (hesitantly), and the pile of snow kept mumbling. I just thought to myself, and then I added two coal eyes, a carrot nose, and a top hat to make it look like a snowpony. “Ta daa!” I said. The pony inside shook his head fast which showed his face, and it was Psyche! “Psyche?! What are you doing in my snowpony?!”

“Why did you dump all this snow on me?!” Psyche yelled.

“Sorry, brah! I didn’t know you were in there!” I said.

“Please help me out.” Psyche asked.

“Kay kay, hold still.” I used my rail-blast spell to push Psyche out of the snow pile, and he landed on the wall over a building. He rubbed his head.

“Yeah, thanks.” Psyche said sarcastically.

“No problemo, brah!” I said as I helped him up. “What’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be waking up the animals?”

“I’m having problems trying to locate the snakes. I looked in their dens and they’re not there.” Psyche said. A cutaway shows an airplane and a flight attendant is giving everypony on the plane some flight instructions, but all the passengers are not ponies, they’re snakes.

“We decsssssssided to go sssssssouth for the winter. Sssssssince the birdsssssss can.” A snake said. The flight indented just stood there in shock.

A pony that looks and sounds like Samuel L. Jackson then yelled, “I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER-FLIPPIN SNAKES, ON THIS MOTHER-FLIPPIN PLANE!” The cutaway ends.

“What about you, Flare?” Psyche asked. “Scraping all the snow off the rooftops?”

“Unfortunately.” I said.

“What’s wrong?” Psyche asked.

“This is not the job I wanted!” I complained as I threw my shovel and it lands on Engie’s harvesting robot. It starts malfunctioning and starts chasing the rest of the harvesting ponies.

“HEY, HEY! What’s going on?!” Engie yelled as he chases the harvesting robot. “Come back!”

“Well, what job did you want, Captain Flare?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah, ha ha.” I said sarcastically. “I wanted to go south to get the birds, but the mayor wouldn’t let me! Stupid mayor thinks she runs this town!” I complained.

“But…. she’s the mayor! She DOES run this town.” Psyche reminded me.

“It’s too bad though! She thinks she’s the big boss!” I complained.

“I know what you mean. If I were mayor, I’d make freedom of choice, and make things in Ponyville for fair.” Psyche said.

“And what are the odds of you becoming mayor?” I asked.

“Better than yours.” Psyche said.

“OH…!” Crystal yelled.

“SNAP!” Snap yelled.

“Crackle!” Crackle yelled.

“KABOOM!” Billy Mays yelled as the background just explodes behind him.

“Good point.” I nodded. “Sometimes I wish Winter Wrap-Up can be a lot easier than it is now.” I said as a spotlight shined over me. I looked up in confusion. “What’s this?”

“What do you think?” Psyche asked sarcastically.

“Oh what? I have to sing now?!” I complained.

“Now you know how I feel.” Psyche said as he smirked at me.

I shook my head. “Alright! Let’s get this over with.” So I started singing a parody of the Winter Wrap-Up song because….. well duh! Of course I’m singing a parody of Winter Wrap-Up during Winter Wrap-Up, its SOOOO suspecting! So obvious! Anyways, it goes like this:

“Three months of unsuspecting freezing chill attacks….” Blaze sang.

“We stayed warm with hot cocoa, and our blanket sacks….” Aqua sang.

“But now I’m running out of building materials, and all transportation has stopped….” Engie sang.

“And even though I love my boots, it’s making this loud clop….” Crystal sang as she clopped her boots on the ground.

It was my turn to sing so I walked around the town, looking around. “It’s time to welcome Spring and all things big and mean; but it’s also time to say goodbye-“ I then tripped on the snow again with my peg leg. “…oh no I bent my spleen! How can I help, if I don’t have fun with it? I wanna have my choosing job, I don’t like this one little biiiiiit!”

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up!” the ponies sang.

“There’s nothing you should fear!” Psyche sang.

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up!” the ponies sang again.

“I got a banana in my ear!” I sang as I pointed on a banana in my ear.

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up! ‘Cause we drink root beer, because we drink root beer!” the ponies sang as they all took a drink of root beer in glass bottles.

“Bringing back all the southern birds,” Blaze sang next, “but some of them were in boxes; I bet Crystal is to blame, she even packaged the foxes! We move along and I return to my wife! But where is that annoying duck, it’s almost 12:05!”

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up!” the ponies sang.

“This robot needs more gears!” Engie sang as one of Engie’s robots bonks him on the head with a bat. “Ow!”

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up!” the ponies sang.

“This water is froze right here!” Aqua sang as Princess Ana was waddling out of the frozen water with her frozen skirt in this frozen town in the Frozen movie.

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up! ‘Cause tomorrow we will sheer, ‘cause tomorrow we will sheer!” the ponies sang as some packs of sheep started gasping.

“The little creatures hibernate and all lost some weight!” Water sang.

“Time to welcome the sunburns, oh I can hardly wait!” Crèmepop sang.

“Whacking all the clouds, along with starting a show! What do you say about my stunts?” Black Thunder sang.

“We’ll give it an 8.3!” Water and Crème both sang.

“Oh real mature.” Thunder complained as he glared at them.

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up!” the ponies sang.

“No more freezing benches on my rear!” Woodenshy sang as he sat down on a bench.

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up!” the ponies sang.

“The hot flashes are very near!” Candy Cotton sang.

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up! ‘Cause hot flashes are very near, ‘cause hot flashes are very near!” the ponies sang.

“Gonna break all the ice, and also spilling the beans!” Water sang.

“Throw out the old raggy rugs, because they burn the knees.” Crèmepop sang.

“Decorate the trees….” Rarity sang.

“No Rarity, you sang at the last song.” Crystal sang.

“Wake up all the animals….” Fluttershy sang.

“I’ll allow Fluttershy to sleep along!” Crystal sang.

“Yeah, really mature.” Rarity complained as she glared at her.

“I’m with ya, marefriend.” Thunder said.

“Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up!” the ponies sang. “Let’s finish our Holiday jeers! Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! ‘Cause tomorrow is Spring I fear. Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! ‘Cause tomorrow is Spring I fear, ‘cause tomorrow is Spring I fear! Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up! Let’s finish our Holiday jeers! Winter Screw-Up, Winter Screw-Up! ‘Cause tomorrow is Spring I fear. Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up!”

“Cause tomorrow is Spring I fear, ‘cause tomorrow is Spring I fear, I got a banana in my eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar……” I sang during the conclusion of the song, and then I swallowed a fly because my mouth was opened wide. “Swallowed a fly!”

Just as the song ended, I just finished my duties and Winter Wrap-Up was nearly over. “Well, that wasn’t so bad.” I said.

“You see, Flare? Like I said, when you have a problem you’ll get over it!” Psyche said.

“When did you say that?” I asked.

“Well….. that’s not the point. You did your Winter Wrap-Up duties, and how do you feel?” Psyche asked.

“I feel pretty good, brah! Winter Wrap-Up was really really fun!” I said. “Can’t wait until Winter comes back, and then we can wrap it up again!”

“So does that mean you’re not mad at Mayor Mare anymore?” Psyche asked.

“Of course I’m still mad at her! Even though I’m ok with these shoveling snow duties, the mayor still didn’t give me what I wanted, and she still just SAT THERE in TOWN HALL doing NOTHING!” I complained.

“I know it’s pretty hard, but that’s just what a mayor does, run a town, and they say it’s a lot harder than it looks.” Psyche said.

“Well, she’s still making property tax go too high, and not to mention the security in this town is awful! Are there even any cops in this town?” I asked.

“I suppose you got point there.” Psyche said.

“Got a point? Bro, don’t get me STARTED! Mayor Mare doesn’t deserve- Lawl! Mayor Mare, that sounds like I’m saying ‘mirror mirror’ a bit!” I laughed. “Mayor Mare on the wall, who is the most laziest one of all? That’s you!”

“So you have any other reasons that the mayor shouldn’t be mayor anymore?” Psyche asked.

“I got a whole list, and I checked it twice!” I said. “Just wait until the next election!”

“What? You’re running for mayor?” Psyche asked.

“No, I don’t have much experience in running a town, but YOU do!” I said.

“Me?!” Psyche asked.

“Psyche, you’re very smart, understanding, compassionable, and you know what needs to be done! You’d make a great mayor, brah!” I said.

“If you say all that stuff about me, why are you always rude to me and say shut up all the time?” Psyche asked.

“Because you’re the Meg Griffin of the group, and we need somepony to be our toy, and you were the best choice!” I said.

“Well…. That’ll be a subject we’ll get to later, but I don’t know, man.” Psyche said.

“Trust me, Psyche! In the next Ponyville election, you’re going to be our new mayor, and the Noble Six and I are going to help you get there! Ooo I rhymed!” I said.

“Well… if you say so.” Psyche said.

“You’re in luck, guys. The next Ponyville election is actually coming up. The mayor’s four-year term is almost up.” Fluttershy said.

“That’s perfect! Psyche can you do this, please?” I begged him.

“Well….. I’ll think about it.” Psyche said.

“Take a walk around town while ‘Dust In The Wind’ is playing in the background, then let me know what you think then.” I advised him.

“You said ‘then’ twice.” Flutters said.

“Alright.” Psyche said. So he took a walk around town while the song ‘Dust In The Wind’ was playing in the background. Psyche was walking around kicking a tin can in the melted city streets, as certain objects around him turned into dust in the wind behind him, one of the objects was Engineer’s robot, and Engie was pretty aggravated, and another object was a Lyra and Bonnie sitting on a bench, and the bench turns into dust in the wind, and Lyra and Bonnie just fall off. Psyche then leans over on a hill edge, looking over the town, and dust was flying around, and all this that was going on turned out to be a snowglobe (or a dustglobe) that Psyche was holding on his hoof. Psyche then was skipping rocks down at the Ponyville lake that was finally melted. The song finally ended after he skipped his last rock.

That night, I was cleaning up one of my drinking glasses at my shop, and talking to Keith while I was at it. “So Addie, why didn’t you sing along during our Winter-Wrap Up parody?” I asked him.

“I don’t sing.” He said.

“Even if everypony was singing along and you were the only one left out?” I asked.

“Yee.” Addie said.

“Well that’s dumb.” I said.

“Oh.” He said.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“Oh.” I said.

“Yeah.” He said.

“Ok.” I said. Just then my phone begins to vibrate. I took it out to see what’s up. “I just got a poke from you. How did you poke me when you were talking to me the whole time?”

“I dunno.” Addie said. “I poked you many minutes ago.”

“My phone is so slow!” I complained. Just then Psyche bursted in with his answer; “Ok, let’s do it.”

“Do what?” I asked.

“To be mayor! I gave you my answer and I’ll do it.” Psyche reminded me. “Hey, Keith.”

“Hey, Psyche.” Addie greeted.

“Alright! Let’s do it then!” I cried in excitement.

“I hope you realize I’ll need your help in making an investment.” Psyche informed me.

“Ehh, whatever. Gotta make sacrifices.” I shrugged.

The next day came, and Psyche and I were at my place getting stuff ready for the next election. “Ok, Psyche, now that you’re going to become mayor, we have to think of things you’ll have to promise the town when you become one. Now, what are you going to do to the town when you become mayor?” I asked.

“Well, I’ll increase security around here. I mean you know the changelings keep coming, and not to mention Dr. Swinebutt keeps trying to ruin you.” Psyche said.

“I haven’t seen Swinebutt since the time Crystal and Black Thunder nearly broke up.” I said.

“But he could come back.” Psyche added.

“That is true.” I said as I wrote down on the notepad I’m carrying. “Increase security. Alright, what else?”

“Freedom of choice! I know you didn’t like it when Mare didn’t give you the job you wanted, so I’ll add that to the picture.” Psyche said.

“Freedom of choice.” I said as I wrote it down. “Anything else?”

“Mare has been raising taxes so I’ll try my best to lower them as much as I can.” Psyche said.

“Lower taxes.” I said, writing it down.

“More festivals! Remember the Fall Festival you made? Maybe we should have more events!” Psyche suggested.

“I like your style, brah! More events!” I said, writing it down.

“Alright so what do you have so far?” Psyche asked.

“Let’s see, uhh….. well…..” I didn’t know what to say because the list wasn’t what I was writing down.

“C’mon, Flare, you wrote down all my suggestions on the notebook already, how can you not know?” Psyche asked.

“Now Psyche, there’s a logical explanation for this.” I said.

Psyche glared at me and then grabbed the notebook out of my hooves, and took a look at it. What he saw on the notepad was a drawing of Psyche blabbering, while I’m lying dead on the ground from boredom. “Oh you’re just the worst.” Psyche said with an annoyed tone.

“Thank you!” I said, smiling at him. Later on, we came back from the hardware store with giant posters and sticks, and other supplies. “If you’re to become mayor, Psyche, you’ll need a logo and a theme.”

“Ok, what do you have in mind?” Psyche asked.

“Let’s start off with the logo. I was thinking a giant star in the background with your name on it.” I suggested.

“Ok.” Psyche said, shrugging.

“What? Ok?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Psyche said.

“You’re just gonna go with that? You’re not going to argue with me?” I asked.

“No, why?” Psyche asked.

“I wanted us to have an argument.” I said.

“Look, I’m ok with the logo, I like it!” Psyche said.

“A star with your name on it? You can’t think of a better one?” I asked.

“Not really.” Psyche said.

“C’mon, brah! Let’s have an argument!” I demanded.

“No! What’s the use or arguing? I like your logo idea!” Psyche said.

“Yes, we must argue! It’s what makes our friendship go on!” I said.

“No, Flare!” Psyche yelled.

“YES! We must argue!” I yelled.

“NO!” Psyche argued with me.

“YES!”

“NO!”

“YES!”

“NO!”

“YES! Look, there’s no use saying no! We’re already arguing!” I informed him.

“What?” Psyche asked confusingly, and then he looked at me annoyed again. “Seriously, Flare? Wow!”

“You gotta admit, that was pretty clever, wasn’t it?” I asked.

“Yes, yes it was.” Psyche said.

“No it wasn’t.” I said.

“Shut up.” Psyche said.

“No you shut up! We must argue again!” I demanded.

“We have the logo idea, how about the theme?” Psyche asked.

“Do I have to figure out EVERYTHING for you?” I asked.

“Dude, I’m going to be the mayor, but you have better ideas than I do.” Psyche said.

“Maybe I should become mayor then!” I suggested.

“No!” Psyche yelled.

“I’m just kidding, man! I’ll make a terrible mayor, but you have the makings of one!” I said.

“Alright, you want me to pick the theme? Ok. How about, ‘Psyche knows your future’?” Psyche asked.

“Ehhh, I’ll put that one for a maybe.” I said. “How about ‘Psyche! I got you good!’?” I suggested.

“C’mon, let’s be serious. This is not a class election; this is a real-life town mayor election.” Psyche said.

“I never said it wasn’t.” I said.

“We have to think of a good theme, bro. One that’ll blow the minds of everypony! One that shows I am the perfect mayor for this town. One that says ‘If you know what freedom is like, you’d vote for Psyche’!” Psyche said. I gasped right after he said that. “What?”

“Perfect!” I said.

“What’s perfect?” Psyche asked.

“Something that is exactly what you wanted!” I said.

“I know what perfect means; I’m just asking why you’re saying perfect?” Psyche asked.

“That theme, you just said, it’s perfect! If you know what freedom is like, you’d vote for Psyche! Genius, brah! Genius!” I said.

“Then I suppose we came to an agreement.” Psyche nodded. A little while after, we were painting the signs. “Vote for Psyche! Doesn’t this sign look awesome, Flare?”

“You should’ve put a number 4 where the ‘for’ is suppose to be.” I suggested.

“But ‘four’ and ‘for’ are two different things.” Psyche said.

“It’s weird that you think it matters how you spell the word, whether it’s a number or a verb.” I said.

“If I put in a ‘4’ instead, ponies will think I’m not qualified for the job.” Psyche said.

“But Psyche, that’s the complete opposite! They’ll think you’re more qualified for the job because of your originality!” I said.

“Using a ‘4’ for ‘for’ is not original. It’s been around since the dawn of time.” Psyche said.

A cutaway shows a cavepony holding up a sign over a fire that says ‘Fire 4 Ugher’. The cutaway ends.

“Look, this is Ponyville, not Canterlot. Ponies aren’t that classy here. Nopony cares if you use a number where a verb is supposed to be.” I explained.

“You make signs your own way, alright? I’ll make the signs my way.” Psyche said.

“Roger that! I’m sticking with the ‘4’!” I said as I showed the sign to Psyche that says ‘Vote 4 Pedro’.

“Vote for Pedro? Bro, this paint doesn’t come off!” Psyche said.

“Teaches you to use pencils more then.” I said.

“Flare, why can’t I ever take you seriously sometimes?” Psyche asked.

“Look, Psyche, every time we have a big adventure together it always ends up with us arguing, and you saying offensive opinions about me. Can’t we have ONE adventure with us not fighting?” I asked.

“I thought you said you wanted arguing?” Psyche asked.

“Only when I want them.” I said.

Psyche sighed. “Look, we’ll leave the signs for later. I should work on my public speech.”

“Whatever you say, Pedro.” I said.

“Don’t call me that.” Psyche shook his annoyed and said.

“Would you rather I call you Edward?” I asked.

“Pedro is fine.” Psyche said.

“You need some food in your system to make a great speech! I’ll make us some banana splits! What do you say?” I suggested.

“That sounds nice, Flare! Sure!” Psyche agreed. So we went into the kitchen, I made us both some banana split sundaes with gummy bears in them, and Psyche got himself some paper and a pencil so he could write his speech.

“You don’t need to use paper, you know. You can borrow one of the computers in the lounge!” I suggested.

“It’s ok; I like writing better.” Psyche said.

“So how you going to start your speech? Fellow citizens? Fillies and gentlecolts? Once upon a time? Twis was the night before Hearth’s Warming?” I asked.

“I dunno I’ll have to think it over.” I said.

“Just don’t add any of that ‘What John Kennedy said’ quotes, or something like that. Nopony wants to hear other’s opinions.” I advised him.

“Don’t worry; I wasn’t planning to add any quotes in the speech.” Psyche said.

“I’ll bet you 10 bits that Mare is going to add a quote in her speech.” I said.

“I’m not taking that bet ‘cause I agree with you.” Psyche said.

“Try to be more original in your speech too. I don’t think it’s a good idea to add a ‘And further more’ in it.” I suggested.

“Why not?” Psyche asked.

“Because that phrase is for president speeches, not mayor speeches.” I said.

“Alright, alright. I’ll think of something.” Psyche said taking a bite out of his ice cream.

“Yep! I have nothing but good feelings about ya, ma boy!” I said as I took a bite out of my ice cream too. “GAH! Brain freeze!” I cried. After a little while, we finished our sundaes, and Psyche was still thinking of what to put in his speech. “How long do you think you’re gonna make that speech anyway?”

“I don’t know, but this has to be perfect.” Psyche said.

“Psyche, it’s no biggie. It doesn’t have to be perfect.” I said.

“I know, but…. I really need this mayor job!” Psyche said.

“Since when were you so interested in it?” I asked.

“Right after I realized what this town is going through, to think of all the achievements I’d accomplish! Flare, this is just what I need! I can’t lose this election!” Psyche freaked out.

“Well, I…” I stuttered.

“Flare! This is a big deal!” Psyche said excitedly as he grabbed my vest (aww, I already miss my blue jacket I used to wear when it was cold). “I need this mayor job for this particular achievement I have to accomplish! You have to help me win!”

“I will if you let go of my vest!” I said angrily. Psyche lets go of my vest. “Why does everypony keep grabbing my vest or my jacket for that matter? This vest is NOT supposed to be grabbed! The next pony that grabs my vest is going to have a swift kick in the face! So much that I’ll use their bleeding nose as a ketchup dispenser!”

“I’m sorry, Flare. Calm down!” Psyche advised me.

“S’ok.” I said. “Just… how long will you be writing on that speech?”

“As long as it takes, Flare. As long as it takes.” Psyche said.

“Alright, well…. I’m gonna go play GTA 4 and record how many times Roman asks me to hang with him. Call me when you need me.” I said as I walked out of the kitchen and back into the lounge. Psyche just sat there thinking of what to put in his speech. He was sitting there for hours and hours writing down stuff, but if the speech wasn’t good enough, he crumpled it up and threw it in the trash bin. The trash bin I have in my kitchen is one of those circle ones with the thing on top, when you push it, it can sometimes spin around. It’s awesome! I’ve always wanted one of those trash bins for my kitchen! The trash bin in the kitchen back at home was square! Bleh! Oh wait, why am I talking about trash bins? Anyways, Psyche was on his 39th redo of his speech. It was 10:00 at night and Psyche was feeling pretty tired. I made him a little coffee to help him stay awake, and I got him an egg roll and some wonton soup from a Chinese restaurant that I ate at for dinner. I had egg fu yung over there. Felt pretty weird having breakfast for dinner, you know?

It became midnight and Psyche was on his 56th redo. I let him stay for the night so he can work on his speech. I was just on the XBUCKs, playing GTA 4 in the other room, playing one of Brucie’s car theft missions. A little while later, I went to bed, but Psyche was still wide awake doing his speech. He got to his 70th redo, and there was no more paper in the house; well, there was toilet paper, and tissues, and paper towels, but who would want to write on those? So I let him use my dry-erase board to make his speeches. 4:30 in the morning, the marker he was using went dry, and….. well, I lost count on the redos he went through. Since there wasn’t much of another option, he couldn’t wake me up to find an alternative, so he used my paper towels to make his speeches. The time was 5:12 in the morning, and there was no more coffee. Before Psyche could find an alternative, he passed out on my table.

I got up at 7:49, and walked into the kitchen to check on Psyche. I found him sleeping on my table, drooling on one of the place mats, and one of the paper towels he was using to make his speech. “Oh nice work, Psyche!” I said upsettingly. “Use up all my paper towels to make your stupid speech! You would’ve saved a lot of trees if you just used a computer, man!” I went to get some coffee, but of course…. “Oh nice job! You used all my coffee too! Well, if you ate all my cinnamon rolls, I’m going to kill you.” I looked in the fridge, and saw the cinnamon rolls were still there. “Oh phew! You’re safe Psyche…….. for now.” I said mischievously as I ate one of the rolls, but slowly as I smirked at him. I sat down at the table across from Psyche who was still sleeping like a rock. I dunno how they got that expression: ‘Sleeping like a rock’? Rocks don’t sleep, they’re dried up lava! How is dried up lava sleeping? Though, I think maybe a few rocks around the world are actually meteors or asteroids that fell from space, shrunk in the atmosphere and landed on the ground as the rocks we see now. Perhaps….

So I continued to sit there, drinking tea, I said I was out of coffee not tea, and eating my cinnamon roll, while staring at Psyche and thinking about an old pharmacy called Eckerds, which all of them got replaced by CVS Pharmacy, but we’ll get back to that story another time. I then took a shower, got dressed, brushed my teeth, shaved off my invisible beard, fed my fish, and came back to see Psyche was still passed out on the table. I was going to ignore him, and let him wake up himself, but I’m about to leave, and I don’t trust ANYPONY to be in my trailer when I’m not here, unless it was Water, but Water got an early start today because she has a playdate with Aqua’s sister Wind Racer. So I filled up a bucket of water because I really wanted to wake Psyche up, but…. I did not dump the water on him, and no I didn’t put his hoof inside the bucket so he’d wet his pants. I’d do that if he WAS wearing pants. What I did do with the bucket full of water, is I put it on the table, and I started banging on it with a big metal spoon, and started singing Good Morning to You really loud in his ear with a megaphone. Psyche screamed as he woke up and fell off the chair.

“Ow!” Psyche yelled, rubbing his head. I continued singing, and then Psyche took the spoon out of my hoof, and hit me on the head with it.

“Ow!” I yelled from the megaphone.

“Ow!” Psyche yelled as my ‘ow’ was too loud for him. “You know I don’t like it when ponies wake me up using something very loud.”

“If we were anywhere else, then sure, but you’re in my house.” I said from the megaphone.

“And turn the megaphone off!” Psyche cried. I turned off the megaphone and put it on the table. “What’s the big deal, man?”

“It’s time for you to go. You were here all night and you’re gonna be late for your speech if you don’t get yourself cleaned up real soon!” I reminded him.

“Oh fie! THE SPEECH!” Psyche yelled, looking at the clock. “It’s almost 10:00! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“I gave you a chance to wake up yourself.” I said.

“My speech! Where is it?” Psyche asked, looking through the pile of papers that were in the trash bin.

“I dunno, which speech are you talking about? You made a lot of speeches last night.” I teased and laughed.

“Flare, I’m not joking around! One of these speeches has to work!” Psyche said.

“I don’t think you’ll find any of them good.” I said.

“Why not?” Psyche asked.

“If you thought those speeches were good, you wouldn’ve thrown them away in the first place! Duh!” I reminded him. Psyche groaned and started looking through his thrown away speeches, and started to freak out, but then I took a look at one of the speeches that Psyche wrote down on a paper towel, and I nodded my head. “How about this one?”

“What about it?” Psyche asked, still searching.

“I kinda like this one.” I said. “Yeah, not bad! I think this one will do the trick!”

“Let me see it!” Psyche said, taking the paper towel speech and reading it. “Yeah, you’re right. This one is good!”

“See? I knew you could make a great speech! You’re the smart one in the group you know!” I said as I winked at him.

“Thanks!” Psyche said.

“I can see it now! Mr. Illusion!” I said. “Mr. Psyche Illusion! The greatest mayor in Ponyville that ponykind has ever known!”

“Well c’mon, Flare! Let’s go!” Psyche said, about to run out.

“Let’s? What’s with this ‘let’s’ nonsense?” I asked.

“I can’t do this alone.” Psyche said.

“Well you’re going to have to. I have a lot of errands to run.” I said.

“But you said you were coming along!” Psyche reminded me.

“Well, I was going to, but I have to get more paper, paper towels, dry-erase markers, and coffee because SOMEPONY used them all up!” I explained.

“But who would- Oh…. Right…..” Psyche said, feeling embarrassed. “Sorry about that. Here….” Psyche took out a few bits from his pocket. “Here, this should be enough.”

“No, no, it’s ok.” I said, refusing his offer.

“I insist.” Psyche said.

”You need the money more than I do. I’m loaded!” I said.

“Since when did you become loaded?” Psyche asked.

“I run two pizza parlors and one of them is in Canterlot. How can I NOT be loaded?” I explained.

“Good point.” Psyche said. So Psyche went over to town hall to turn in his speech. Luckily, my errands didn’t take too long, so I was able to join the crowd before the ceremony started. I brought myself a cooler full of drinks, just in case I get parched, and I wouldn’t be a surprise if I was, since I’ve been having a sore throat this morning; and besides, the cooler is a nice little place to sit on, or stand on if I needed to see from farther away. Princess Luna came on the scene to start the election.

“Fillies and gentlecolts; welcome to the 375th annual Ponyville election!” Luna said, starting the ceremony off. “Now before we begin, let me take the chance to say how well you all did in the last Winter Wrap-Up! Because of all the new ponies we’ve been having this past year, Ponyville has broken its record at the most Winter Wrap-Ups it has ever had!” Everypony cheered. “Now, let us take our chance to meet our contestants and let them make their speeches! Our first candied: the former mayor of Ponyville who wants to try her luck again, Mare!” Everypony clops their hooves as Mare makes her way to the stage.

Mare clears her throat and starts her speech; “Good morning, everypony!”

“It’s noon!” a pony in the audience yelled out.

“I am here with you today because I would like to be your new mayor!” Mare said.

“No duh!” the same pony in the audience called out.

“Now, if I go back to becoming your mayor again, I assure you, I wouldn’t stop until everypony is completely scarified and safe. I’d continue my hard work to make sure Ponyville is in the condition it already is! I know I am well qualified for the job! Pick me as your mayor, and Ponyville will remain peaceful and happy! Thank you!” Everypony clapped their hooves for her as she walked off stage.

“Wow, what kind of speech was that? She didn’t even put much effort in it!” I complained. “I seen gym signs put more effort in then that!”

A cutaway shows a sign outside a gym that says ‘Tired of being fat and ugly? Just be ugly, and join the gym!’ The cutaway ends.

“And now for our runner-ups! Please put your hooves together for…. Psyche Illusion!” Luna said. Everypony clapped their hooves as Psyche walked up on stage.

He started his speech: “Dearest Ponyville citizens! I am proud to be here today! I was from a city called Trottingham, which had lots of crime and thugs everywhere! I can’t become a mayor of a town that big, but here…. Here is different! Everything is so peaceful, and to make sure we have no crime in our town, I’d like to install a police force in our town, to keep it safe! This town needs a sheriff! To make sure everypony is happy, there’ll be a suggestion box in my new office if I am to be elected. Thank you all, and long live Equestria!” Everypony clapped their hooves as he walked off stage. I ran over to the side of the stage to congratulate him. “How did I do, man?” he asked.

“You did well! You did really well!” I said.

“Thank you, Flare! Maybe being mayor won’t be so bad!” Psyche said.

“I bet you’re gonna win this one, brah!” I said.

“Now, for our last runner-up. He’s a former-police chief, and wants to keep this town in order! Please give a warm welcome to Penny Nickels!” Luna said.

“WHAT?!” Psyche and I both yelled. Officer Penny Nickels…. If you read Chapter 9 of Book 2, you’d know he was a police chief that arrested us when we went to Trottingham to steal Psyche’s family crest. It was all a set-up though; he was working for Dr. Swinebutt.

“Thank you! Thank you!” Nickels said as he walked up on stage. “I feel honored to be welcomed by you fine ponies! Really, it warms my heart!”

“What is this all about?” I whispered to Psyche.

“I don’t know! What is he doing here?” Psyche whispered back.

“That’s what I’m asking you!” I whispered.

“I’m keeping a close eye on Nickels, he’s up to something.” Psyche whispered.

“If he’s here, then Swinebutt shouldn’t be too far away. I’m going to go look for him.” I whispered.

“You do that.” Psyche whispered. So as Psyche was listening to Nickel’s speech, I went out to look for anything out of the ordinary. Everypony was at the ceremony, so Swinebutt shouldn’t be too much in hiding. I found a strange looking van not so far away from town hall.

”Swinebutt!” I said to myself while walking towards the van. I tried opening the door, but it was locked. “Oh, so that’s how you wanna play it, huh?” I then used my hornsaber spell to break through the van and then I eventually opened it. “ALRIGHT, SWINEBUTT! What is this all abo- oh, hello.” It turned out that this wasn’t Swinebutt’s van, its Vinyl Scratch’s DJ van.

“What are you doing?!” Vinyl Scratch yelled.

“Sorry, sorry! I thought you were somepony else!” I said embarrassingly. I took out my checkbook, and wrote down a check for 200 bits. “Here, this should cover the damage.” Vinyl grabbed the check, and then she kicked me out of her van, and drove away. While I was sitting there, rubbing my head, I saw Swinebutt sitting down which was where the van was, but on the other side, carrying a small device.

“SWINEBUTT!” I yelled.

“Well, well, well!” Swinebutt said as he snorted. “If it isn’t Crimson?” Swinebutt said.

“What is this all about, you pig?” I asked.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” Swinebutt said, playing innocent.

“Don’t play innocent with me! I know Officer Nickels works for you! What’s the catch?” I asked.

“What catch? I’m just sitting here, minding my own business; something you should be doing.” Swinebutt said as he smirked at me and placed his pinky near his mouth.

“Well…. You’re right; I should be minding my own business, but my friend Psyche is trying to run for mayor, and with Psyche’s arch-nemeses competing against him, it’s too much to be a coincidence.” I said.

“Hey, I need Nickels to run for mayor, alright? I have an important job for him to do.” Swinebutt explained.

“What? To ban pizza from Ponyville so you can put me out of business?” I asked.

“It’s none of your business, Crimson!” Swinebutt said.

“It is my business if it’s involved with my business!” I said.

”Look, I have better things to do right now. I have some loose-ends to tie up before trying to ruin your life again.” Swinebutt said.

“Yeah, sure…. I totally believe you, brah!” I said sarcastically.

“Good.” Swinebutt said as he snorted. “Now if you please, I have work to do!”

“You think I was born yesterday, brah? You’ve ruined my life in Mareami, and you’re trying to ruin my life here too; you did that many times already!” I reminded him.

“Oh yeah? Name them.” Swinebutt dared me.

“Robo Trixie, Boorlie, CHAOS MOUNTAINS, Fonz Punkskull, Trottingham…. I can go on!” I explained.

“Yeah, well.....” Swinebutt snorts. “I don’t have time for you right now. I’ll ruin your life some other day, Flare.”

“Fine! But I have my eye on you, buster!” I warned him.

“Oooooh, I’m so scared! How will I ever get to sleep at night?” Swinebutt said sarcastically. I just stared at him, and then I carefully walked away, looking back at him. I then went back to town hall where Nickels finished up his speech, and everypony cheered at him, louder than when they were cheering at Mare and Psyche.

“What’s going on, brah?” I asked Psyche.

”Bad news, Flare! Nickel’s speech was impressive! Too impressive!” Psyche said.

“What did he promise?” I asked.

“He stole my idea of making a police force!” Psyche said.

“Well, if he stole your idea, ponies shouldn’t vote for him, because they’d know it was your idea first.” I said.

“No, he wants to make a police force out of robots!” Psyche said.

“Robots, huh? Swinebutt knows how to make those.” I nodded. “He calls them Swinebots. Those were the things that constructed my shop, but I reprogrammed them for that, and then enemy Swinebots came in and trashed my shop when Fonz was in town.”

“This doesn’t look good, Flare. He made so many other promises, I didn’t even think of!” Psyche said nervously.

“Alright, clam down, brah!” I advised him.

“I am cla- wait, ‘clam down’?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah, clam down.” I said.

“It’s ‘calm’ down.” Psyche corrected me.

“I know, but I switched the L and the A, because I know that’s an easy typo to make.” I said.

“Ok, I get it. It’s stupid, but…. I know you made stupider jokes than that. You’re clever.” Psyche said.

Later that afternoon, Psyche and I joined up with Engie, Blaze, and Aqua over at the cider bar shortly after to talk about what’s going on.

“So who’s this Penny Nickels guy anyway?” Engie asked.

“Used to be a part of the THPD, the Trottingham police department.” Psyche explained.

“He’s that pony that arrested ya and tried to steal yar family crest from yar mum’s grave, isn’t that correct?” Aqua asked.

“Can we not mention my mother please?” Psyche asked.

“I’m sorry, Psyche. I didn’t mean to offend ya.” Aqua said.

“It’s ok, Aqua.” Psyche said.

“So what’s this Nickels guy up to? Is he still working Swinebutt?” Blaze asked.

“I assume so.” I said. “I found Swinebutt earlier today, and I know he’s up to something. Seeing both Nickels and Swinebutt is kinda fishy, don’t you think?”

“You didn’t try to capture him?” Blaze asked.

“Why should I? He used a weakness on me. He said I should be minding my own business, and I felt bad, so I just walked away.” I said.

“Don’t let that pig tell ya what to do! He was interfering with yer business and yer life from day one, Flare!” Engie reminded me.

“Even before ya moved to Ponyville, he was trying to make your life miserable, all because of ridiculous reasons that he gave you.” Aqua said.

“Swinebutt can wait; we have to make sure either Psyche or Mare wins the next election.” Blaze said.

“Mare is the reason that I got Psyche to join the election in the first place!” I said.

“Better her than Nickels.” Blaze said.

“I agree. It’s not about winning the election anymore. This has turned personal! We can’t let Nickels win!” Psyche said.

“But Psyche, you wanted to make change in this town! Make the change that Mare wasn’t able to do!” I reminded me.

“It doesn’t really bother me all that much, Flare. The only reason I got into the election is to make you satisfied!” Psyche corrected me.

“Didn’t you WANT to be mayor? You did say that, brah!” I asked.

“Yes, I do want to be mayor, but I’m not desperate for it!” Psyche said.

“Psyche, you have to win! You have to! Nickels needs to be taken down!” I explained.

“Yeah…. I do hate Nickels so much! He nearly stole from me my most prized family treasure! You’re right, Flare! Let’s win this thing!” Psyche said requesting a hoof-bump.

“Alright! Fillies and gentlecolts, let’s pop!” I said as I bro-hooved him.

“I got a very bad feeling about this.” Blaze said. Just then, Engie looks over at a giant robot-like thing on the bar with a mustache.

"HEY, you!" Engie yelled at the robot that is revealed to be Engie's harvesting robot. The robot starts running away. "GET BACK HERE!" Engie starts chasing it out.

A couple of days went by, and during those days, Psyche and I really had to do our best to make sure he wins! We were putting up signs all over town that say ‘If you know what freedom is like, you’d vote for Psyche’! I gotta say, Psyche is pretty creative! I dunno why he needed my help for creativity! For every pizza I sold at my shop, they get a free ‘Vote 4 ~~Pedro~~ Psyche’ sticker! I put up posters too, one of the posters has Psyche with an Uncle Sam outfit and it says ‘I want you, to vote who’s right! Which is Psyche!’ We even drew funny mustaches and clown noses on the posters of Mare and Nickels. We had so much fun!

Days went by, and Princess Luna told us the scores so far. There were 9 votes for Mare, 16 votes for Nickels, and 22 votes for Psyche!

“Psyche, isn’t this great? You’re winning!” I said.

“You know what? I never thought I’d get this far! I couldn’ve done it without you, Flare!” Psyche said, patting me on the back.

“No problemo, brah! I’m always there for you!” I said.

”I can’t believe this. I thought Ponyville loved me as their mayor. How can it all go so wrong?” Mare asked herself upsettingly.

“Calm down, Mare. The election isn’t over yet.” Luna said.

“This isn’t right. I’m doomed.” Mare said nervously.

“Tonight is the night you talk to the undecided voters. The final votes will be counted tomorrow morning, and then we’ll have our new mayor!” Luna explained.

“Ok…. Ok….. deep breathes….. deep breathes…..” Mare said, taking deep breathes, because she was really afraid she wasn’t going to win. Over behind some crates, Nickels hid behind them without anypony noticing and he activates his ear communicator.

“Boss.” Nickels whispered.

“What is it, Nickels?” Swinebutt asked.

“This isn’t good! I’m down to second place behind Psyche! What are we going to do?” Nickels whispered.

“Clam down, Nickels. Everything will be under control. Just hang in there.” Swinebutt advised him.

“Did you just say ‘clam’ down?” Nickels asked. A few minutes went by, and the undecided voters gathered around town hall so they can talk to the candidates. Psyche, Nickels, and Mare went to their spots, and Luna started up the show. This conference just turned into a musical. Luna starts it off by playing a piano-guitar:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSbxBQhzk3M

“Welcome to the town hall debate, where ordinary ponies talk to the candidates!” Luna sang.

“The fillies tell me, they like a stallion with insurance. So how do I get some, without paying a million bits for it? Tell me, who’s gonna work out, baby? Who’s gonna work it out?” Skyblaze sang.

“This isn’t just a health issue, it’s an economic issue. This is money out of that family’s pocket.” Psyche sang.

“If pony-care is implemented fully, it would be another 2,500 on top.” Officer Nickels sang. “You’ve seen health insurance premiums; gone up… incomes come down.”

“I said that we would make sure that insurance companies can’t jerk you around.” Psyche sang.

“What you gonna do?” Skyblaze sang.

“We need to make sure our legal system works.” Nickels sang.

“Oh, what you gonna do?” Luna sang.

“Go after wannabee gangsters, we’re gonna get it done in a second term!” Psyche sang.

“Oh, what you gonna do?” Skyblaze sang.

“Take the money we’ve been spending on parasprites.” Mare sang.

“More building.” Nickels sang.

“Double our exports.” Mare sang.

“Who’s gonna work it out, baby?” Skyblaze sang.

“Gonna work it out?” Luna sang in the background during Skyblaze’s lyrics.

“Who’s gonna work it out?” Skyblaze sang.

“Since I got out of college, I’ve been living in Spark Note’s basement!” Mynx sang.

“But we were roleplaying!” Spark Note reminded him.

“How you going to give me a job before she goes totally ape stuff?” Mynx sang.

“I already am!” Spark Note said.

“Who’s gonna work it out, baby? Who’s gonna work it out?” Mynx sang.

“Yeeeeaah!” Luna sang.

“I want you to be able to get a job; I know what it takes… to make Ponyville the most attractive place, that’s why I wanna bring down the tax rates!” Psyche sang.

“Low-skill jobs are not gonna come back, I want jobs with a high wage.” Mare sang. “If we’re adding to our deficits for tax cuts, we will lose that race!”

“Just because I am a mare, my salary’s a little bit less…” Spark Note sang.

“Ooo!” Luna cried.

“How can every mare get equal-pay, and please stop looking at my chest.” Spark Note sang. “Tell me who’s gonna work it out, baby. Who’s gonna work it out.”

“I had the chance to pull together a cabinet, I brought us binders full of mares; my boss said ‘I need be making dinner for my kids’; so we said fine.” Nickels sang.

“My grandmother worked her way up to become the senator of Ponyville, but she hit the glass ceiling; now I’ve got a stallion-friend and I wanna make the same opportunities, anypony’s daughters have.” Mare sang.

“What you gonna do?” Spark Note sang.

“We need to make sure our legal system works.” Nickels sang.

“Oh, what you gonna do?” Luna sang.

“Go after wannabee gangsters, we’re gonna get it done in a second term!” Psyche sang.

“Oh, what you gonna do?” Skyblaze sang.

“Take the money we’ve been spending on parasprites.” Mare sang.

“More building.” Nickels sang.

“Double our exports.” Mare sang.

“Who’s gonna work it out, baby?” Spark Note sang.

“Who’s gonna work it out?” Luna sang backup to Spark Note’s.

“Who’s gonna work it out?” Spark Note sang.

“Yeaaaah!” Mynx sang.

“From the space observer, we haven’t heard; any specifics beyond the herd.” Nickels sang.

“That’s completely false!” Psyche cried.

“Not true!” Nickels corrected him.

“Absolutely true!” Psyche corrected him.

“What is true?” Mare asked.

“Woooo!” Luna concluded the song.

So everypony clapped at the candidates just as the undecided voters got all the answers they need. “The booths are opened! Cast your final votes now!” Luna said, pointing to the voting booths with Spike on the table, passing out the papers and the ponies go into the booths to cast their votes. “We’ll be counting the votes and tomorrow morning we’ll have our new mayor!” So everypony casted their votes and went on home. I was about to leave, but I had to tell Psyche a couple of things first.

“I see nothing but great things for you, ma boy!” I said.

“Yeah well, tomorrow’s the big day!” Psyche said excitedly.

“It sure is! Tomorrow will be the day of YOU becoming the new mayor of Ponyville!” I said.

“I hope so.” Psyche nodded. “I’m gonna go get some rest for tomorrow.”

“Alright, I’ll catch ya later, brah!” I said. So Psyche went on home, but not I. I had to stay and make sure Nickels or Swinebutt don’t think of trying anything. I got Spike to get some stuff at home so I can stay and keep watch.

“Are you sure about this, Flare?” Spike asked.

“I can’t let Nickels or Swinebutt try anything. They’re up to no good.” I said. “Also I don’t wanna walk home. It’s hard for me to walk.”

“Just take off the peg leg then.” Spike suggested.

“Nah. I look cool as a pirate.” I said. “I’d be protectin’ my booty.”

“Do you have the booty?” Spike asked.

“I doooooooo!” I said.

“Alright, if you need any help. Call me.” Spike advised me.

“I’ll be fine, brah.” I said, taking a seat on my lounge chair, drinking some soda so I can stay awake. Nickels and Swinebutt were nowhere to be found that night, and suddenly I got a little drowsy, but I kept telling myself I had to stay awake! I had to do this, for Psyche, and for the fate of Ponyville, but I couldn’t make it, so I fell asleep.

The time was 5 AM and Swinebutt got up early so he can change the votes. He snuck into the voting booths and tried to change the votes, but the system was password protected. It took him an hour to finally hack in, but luckily, in case the system gets hacked, I have a little alarm system on my cell phone to wake me up in case something happens. I woke up a little while after, and just as Swinebutt was changing the votes, I walk inside to stop him.

“Cheat much?” I asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Swinebutt said.

“What’s done is done! The voting booths are closed, and today, Psyche will become our new mayor!” I said.

“Well, even though Psyche had the most votes, I won’t let him win! Nickels is becoming the new Ponyville mayor, and there’s not a thing you can do to stop me!” Swinebutt said.

“So let me get this straight… Psyche got the most votes?” I asked.

“Not for long!” Swinebutt said, still changing the votes around.

“So Psyche won! I knew he could do it!” I cried in excitement.

“It doesn’t matter. Nickels is becoming our mayor, and I’ll destroy both your life, and Boorlie’s!” Swinebutt said.

“You’re still mad at Boorlie for stealing your business, huh?” I asked.

“Yeah…. Do you need to always point out the obvious?” Swinebutt asked.

“You can’t get away by cheating! Cheaters never win! Step away from the panel, Doctor!” I demanded as my horn starting glowing.

“Make me!” Swinebutt yelled as he snorts and places his pinky near his mouth. I was about to fire my laser blast spell at him, but he tackles me, and we start fighting in the booth; we fought so much that the booth started jumping and tilting about. We were fighting so loud too that it made chicken sounds and horn sounds and cat sounds and dolphin sounds and lots of other random sound effects. Little did we know though that ponies woke up early so they’d get good spots for a clear show to see who the winner is. The ponies were looking over at one of the voting booths to see what the racket was, and even Luna was on the scene.

“What is going on here?” Luna asked. Swinebutt and I bursted out of the booth, and continued to punch eachother.

“OW! MY GOOD EYE!” I yelled.

“Ha! I blinded you! Whatcha gonna do about it now, Crimson?” Swinebutt asked mischievously. Just then, I moved my eye patch from the left side of my eye to the right to cover the wound.

“There! All better!” I said excitedly.

Luna then suddenly broke up our fight using her magic. “Explain this!” Luna demanded.

“FLARE TRIED TO CHEAT! I saw him! Psyche sent him to cheat!” Swinebutt lied.

“No I didn’t! Swinebutt is trying to make Nickels win, and then destroy my business!” I said.

“… And Boorlie’s.” Swinebutt added.

”I was only there to stop him!” I said.

“NO! I was trying to stop you! You knew were the cheater, Flare! You were laying outside all night, waiting for your chance to go win the easy way!” Swinebutt fibbed.

“Luna, you know that is not true. You know me!” I pleaded.

Luna took a deep breath, she released us both, and said; “I made my decision.” Everypony was very nervous of the suspense. “I hereby disqualify Penny Nickels and Psyche Illusion from the election.”

“WHAT?!” Nickels yelled.

“I somewhat knew this was going to happen.” Psyche said, facehoocing herself.

“So, by the power of Equestria, and the Elements of Harmony; I hereby declare Mare the winner of this election.

“Wow! I can’t believe it! I could’ve sworn I was going to lose!” Mare said in relief.

“Aww c’mon, Luna!” I complained.

“No c’mons, Flare Gun. I made my choice.” Luna said making her final decision and trots away.

“It is so good to be back to my old post again! Being a mayor is all that I’m good at anyway.” Mare said.

“Yeah, you deserved it. Congratulations!” Psyche said to her.

“Yeah, perhaps I was a little harsh to you before.” I said to her. “You do a great job running this town, and I’ll accept any position you give me!”

“Well, to be honest, Flare, you’re right. We should have the right to make our own decisions. Next Winter Wrap-Up, everypony can get whatever post they want!” Mare said.

“That’s awesome! Thanks!” I said gratefully.

“It was Twlight’s idea for us to get organized like this in the first place. I thought it was a good idea.” Mare said.

“Tis true.” I nodded. “Congrats on the election, and I wish you best of lucks, sista!”

“Thank you, Mr. Gun!” Mare said.

“Now as for you, Swinebu-“ I turned around to give them a message, but Swinebutt and Nickels were already gone. So instead, I turned to Psyche. “Hey, brah?” Psyche just ignored me and trotted away. I knew he was mad at me because he thought I cheated for him. I know I risked my friendship with him…. Again, I had to do what was right for the town. Perhaps I made the wrong choice.

Later that night, I sat down at the cider bar, alone, and depressed, until Princess Luna came in and ordered a cider. “Hello, Flare Gun!” she said.

”Hey.” I said.

“You guessing that you should’ve thought twice about what you done?” Luna asked.

“I always skip to conclusions, you know? I’m the particular pony I sworn to never be! I screwed up!” I complained.

“We all make mistakes, Flare. That’s what makes us equal.” Luna said.

“But I swear, I did not cheat! Psyche was going to win anyway, but Swinebutt was trying to change it!” I explained.

“I know, Flare Gun. I know.” Luna said, drinking the cider she just got. “Thank you!”

“So if you knew I didn’t, why did you disqualify Psyche?” I asked.

“Because I didn’t want to be mayor in the first place anyway.” Psyche said, sitting down next to me.

“So why did you join the election?” I asked.

“I wanted to be mayor at first, but I thought it over, and it looks like hard work, and you know what? Mare is the right pony for the job, so she deserves the post.”

“But what about the taxes, and the things you wanted to change?” I asked.

“Mare agreed on the suggestion box idea.” Psyche said.

“But Psyche, I have to know…. did you actually think I cheated?” I asked.

“At first, yes. I know you were desperate on wanting me to be mayor, but I was thinking and, well…. I forgot who we’re dealing with. I saw Dr. Swinebutt with you and we all know how that pig is.” Psyche said. “I mean, if it was anypony else in there with you, I’d actually think you’re cheating. But with Swinebutt, heh, I kinda figured you were trying to stop him. So you’re off the hook.”

“OOOOH! That’s what I was forgetting! I knew I forgot something with all this pirate gear.” I just remembered.

“How about one of those annoying talking parrots?” Luna asked.

“Meh… I tried to rent one, but all the parrot could say was ‘bonjour
stupid’.” I said.

“I understand.” Luna nodded.

“Psyche I didn’t mean to force you to become mayor. I guess I was just so angry at the position Mare gave me during Winter Wrap-Up that I needed somepony to take her place; and you, you’re the best there is!” I explained.

“I know. No need to brag about it.” Psyche teased, and laughed.

“But I’m still mad at Cadance though.” I added.

“I know, and that…. I could care less about.” Psyche said. So, we had a great night, the three of us. We overdid it on the ciders though, and Engie's harvesting robot kinda crashed the party. Heh! Well, Swinebutt and Nickels got away again.

“I can’t believe you screwed us up!” Swinebutt yelled at Nickels.

“That was your fault! Everypony saw YOU cheat! Don’t blame me for something I didn’t do!” Nickels yelled.

“And that’s why you’re off the hook.” Swinebutt said.

“But I didn’t- Ok, fine…. Whatever.” Nickels said.

“Don’t worry; I had second thoughts about this plan anyway. I have developed a new plan, and we’re just trying to ruin Flare’s life, but I know how much Flare hates it when his friends are part of this.” Swinebutt said.

“So what are you planning on next, boss?” Nickels asked.

“This plan should work, but I’ll need to make preparations back at HQ. We’ll also need to call upon some old friends to help with the job.” Swinebutt said mischievously as he snorted and placed his pinky near his mouth.

“So you’re gonna go all Dr. Evil?” Nickels asked.

“I am nowhere close to Dr. Evil! Don’t compare me to him!” Swinebutt demanded.

What is Swinebutt planning on now? Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Also, it seems this was a successful session of the Friendship is Epic challenge! I must admit it was very challenging when it was still snowing but after the wrap-up, I was good! Ok maybe that was a little too easy. I’m going to think of something harder for the next session. Let me know if you have any recommendations!

Author's Notes:

Ehh, I haven't given Psyche as much respect as he deserves, so I made another chapter for him! :D I'm surprised MLP didn't have an election episode yet. Mayor Mare needs her own episode. It's not all about the Mane Six, and Spike. How about giving some other characters a shot?

It's about time Ponyville had an election, huh? That's why I decided to put a chapter like that in here, plus it's been a while since we seen Swinebutt, so that's why I added him in here. Originally Swinebutt was going to be a mayor nominee, but I have the feeling ponies should be suspiecious around him since they know he caused trouble before, but no one except Flare and Psyche knows who Penny Nickels is, so he's back.

If you don't know what the second song is, it's a reference to one of schmoyoho's songify music videos. Link to his page: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=schmoyoho

Also the Friendship is Epic challenge is really going to be a thing in the future. Let me know if you have any suggestions and the next chapter I feel like doing this, I'll do it!

Birthday Bash '012

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Let’s go back in time. It’s September of 2012. One night, I was fast asleep, and I had a dream. Not Martin Luthor King’s dream, another dream. It was a silly dream. It was actually about me driving along the freeway with a rapid wolverine in my underwear, when suddenly, a pony behind me came right up and stick their hooves across my eyes. I kept on guessing who it was, from Spike, to the Mane Six, to the Noble Six, to any of my friends, and relatives, but before I could keep on guessing, but that was the time I crashed into the incoming truck; and as I was laying there bleeding on the asphalt, I finally recognized the face of my hibachi dealer, who rips off his lips and says; “Everything you know is wrong, black is white, up is down, and short is long, and everything you thought which was so important doesn’t matter. Everything you know is wrong, just forget the words and sing along, what you need to understand is: Everything you know is wrong!”

Now for the real story: My fish were in the tank; most of them were sleeping, but Rainbow and Dorthey had to wake them all up. “Pssst! Darrel! Wake up!” Dorthey whispered to Darrel.

“Uhhnn, I don’t wanna go to school. Ten more minutes.” Darrel whined while he was still asleep.

“WAKE UP!” Dorthey whispered, shoving Darrel around, and Darrel woke up real quick, swimming around.

“AAAH! JELLYFISH! JELLYFISH! JELLYFISH!” Darrel cried, swimming all around the tank, waking up Yoyo, Pearl, and Piddles while he was at it. Dorthey then stopped Darrel and shushed him.

“We don’t need to be quiet, Dorthey. Flare can’t even hear us.” Rainbow reminded her.

“What’s going on?” Yoyo asked.

“I hope you REALLY have a good reason by waking me up like that!” Pearl complained.

“Do you guys know what today is?!” Rainbow asked.

“Sunday, September 16th, 2012” Piddles said. Piddles stopped for a sec, and knew what today actually is. “It’s Flare’s birthday!” All the fish look at the calendar that’s hanging on the closet door and they all screamed.

“Everyone calm down!” Rainbow yelled. “I know its Flare’s birthday. That’s why we got up early, so we can be prepared!”

“Right!” Darrel said. “Wait, prepare for what?”

“Ear plugs for all!” Dorthey said, passing out some ear plugs. “I got some pillows over there, just in case.”

“Alright, let’s get this tank sound proof!” Rainbow said, but just then, my alarm clock starts going off. “TOO LATE! EVERYONE TAKE COVER!”

All the fish started hiding in random places in the tank. Yoyo hides under the rocks, Rainbow and Dorthey hide in the vase, Pearl hides in the castle while closing the door with a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on it, Darrel just floats there covering his eyes with his fins, and Piddles was knocking on the castle door yelling, “Aw c’mon, Pearl!” Piddles looks around for hiding place, but they were all full.

I suddenly stuck my hoof out from under the covers of my bed, and turned off my alarm. I jumped out of bed with lots of blow horns and stuff, and I yelled, “SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! SUPER-DEE-DOOPER HAPPY FACE!” I started using my blow horn, and turned up my Stereo screaming; “HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TO MEEEEEEEEEE! WOOOOO HOOO! WAKE UP FISHIES! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!”

Piddles was holding his ears, and yelled, “AAAAH! SO MUCH NOISE! MAKE IT STOP!” I continued making all this loud noise because I so excited that I turned 26! Can’t you believe it? 26 years old! I was making a ton of racket! My trailer was positioned right under Rainbow Dash’s and Blaze’s house. They started getting really annoyed over the loud noise.

Rainbow Dash started shaking Blaze around in bed and said, “Blaze! Go and make Flare shut up!”

“”Uhhnn! I don’t wanna go to school! Ten more minutes!” Blaze whined while still sleeping.

“BLAZE!” Rainbow yelled, pushing Blaze out of bed.

“Ow! I hope you have a good reason for waking me up like that!” Blaze complained.

“Flare is making a ton of noise! I need you to go down and get him to shut up!” Rainbow demanded.

“Alright, Dashie. Alright, just calm down.” Blaze said while he was trying to stand up, but then he flops right on the ground.

The ‘Do The Flop’ guy suddenly shows up and yells, “Everypony do the flo- oh wait, did I miss it?” he asked as Blaze was already flopped on the ground.

After regaining his senses, Blaze flies down to my trailer and starts knocking on the door. “Flare?! Flare I need to talk to you!”

My eyeball camera near the door activates and stares over at Blaze as confetti pops out.“SUP BRAH!?” I yelled through the intercom.

“Flare! What’s with all the noise? You and Pinkie having another party in there?” Blaze asked.

“Sorry? I can’t hear you over the music and blow horns!” I yelled, using the blow horn on the intercom, which really hurt Blaze’s ear drums.

“OW!” Blaze yelled. “TURN OFF THE MUSIC!”

I use the blow horn on the intercom again. “WHAT?! You want us to go pick up chicks?! Sure thing, man! I’m down!” I yelled.

“NO! KEEP IT DOWN!” Blaze yelled.

“Don’t worry! I don’t plan to frown today!” I yelled.

“NO! JUST…. OPEN THE DOOR!” Blaze yelled.

“DON’T WORRY! I KNOW MY BANANAS ARE ROTTEN TO THE CORE, BUT HOW CAN YOU SMELL THEM FROM UP THERE?!” I yelled.

“OH… PEN…. THE… DOOR!!!!!” Blaze yelled at the top of his lungs. Yeah, he was standing on the top of his lungs when he said that, heh! I tease!

“OH! KAY KAY!” I yelled, I went over to the door, opened it, and honked the blow horn in Blaze’s ear. “SUP BRAH!?”

“WHAT’S WITH ALL THE RACKET?!” Blaze yelled.

“I’M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW, BRAH!” I yelled.

“CAN YOU TURN OFF THE MUSIC?!” Blaze yelled.

“HUH?! OH SURE THING, MAN!” I yelled as I used my stereo remote to turn off the stereo.

“That’s better.” Blaze said. I honked the blow horn in Blaze’s face again, and then he grabs it from me, and blows it in my face.

“OW!” I yelled. “That hurt!”

“Yeah that doesn’t feel so good, doesn’t it?” Blaze asked with an attitude.

“What’s your problem, brah?” I asked.

“My problem is that you’re making so much noise! Keep it down!” Blaze demanded.

“Sorry, Blaze! I’m just really excited because today is my birthday today!” I said.

“And you had to get up 5 in the morning to turn up the music?” Blaze asked.

“Oh…. I thought I set my clock to 6? Oh well! The early bird kills the cat, right?” I asked.

“Well, happy birthday, man!” Blaze said.

“Thanks, dude! Since you’re awake, maybe we can hang!” I suggested.

“Ok, sure!” Blaze said.

“I’m feeling so psyched right now, man!” I said.

“I heard my name. What’s going on?” Psyche asked.

“Psyche? What are you doing awake this early?” Blaze asked.

“To tell Flare to keep it down! I can hear his music from a mile away!” Psyche said.

“You automatically assumed it was me?” I asked.

“I actually thought it was Pinkie at first, but I checked and it wasn’t her.” Psyche said. “But since your birthday is coming up, you were the next best choice!”

“Yeah, my birthday is today!” I said.

“Oh really? Happy birthday, Flare!” Psyche said.

“Thanks, man!” I said. “I got the whole day planned! This is gonna be so awesome!”

“I can tell! You’re already partying it out hard!” Blaze said.

“So, what do you guys say we have an early start to partying?” I asked.

“Sure! I’m down!” Blaze said.

“I got nothing better to do!” Psyche shrugged.

“LET’S PAR-TAY!” I yelled. We all ran back into my trailer, turned up the stereo, and started using the blow horn again. Rainbow Dash was groaning, and covering her face with her pillow.

“You had one job, Blaze! ONE JOB!” Rainbow complained. My sister Water though, she’s was sleeping like a rock in the guest bedroom. She always wears ear muffs and a blind fold when she sleeps. I keep warning her though that wearing those things while sleeping isn’t very safe. What if someone breaks into my indestructible trailer and I’m not home? No one’s going to warn her.

A couple of hours went by, and I decided to make the three of us a hearty breakfast! “That before-birthday party sure was fun, Flare!” Blaze said.

“You and Pinkie are similar in so many ways, you know!” Psyche said.

“She taught me everything she knows!” I said.

“So what you making?” Blaze asked.

“It’s a surprise!” I said.

“It’s YOUR birthday, man! Why are you surprising us?” Blaze asked.

“Because I thought, since you might surprise me later, I might as well return the favor! Oh I rhymed!” I said.

“Hey, isn’t this your first birthday in Ponyville?” Blaze asked.

“Sure is, brah! Isn’t this exciting? Most of my birthdays were lonely, and it was just my stupid family, but now that I am here, I have so many friends to share my birthday with, and a ton of new presents too!” I said.

“Your stupid family? Be lucky for what you have, Flare.” Psyche advised me.

“What do you want for your birthday anyway?” Blaze asked.

“Oh, gimmie anything you want!” I said.

“C’mon, brah! We insist!” Blaze said.

“No, I insist. I already have everything I ACTUALLY want. As long as it isn’t table hockey, I’m fine.” I said.

“Why not a table hockey?” Psyche asked.

“I don’t have room for one! I already have an air hockey table AND a pool table in the lounge already! There’s no room in there for a third table!” I said.

“Got it!” Blaze said.

“Where’s the party taking place?” Psyche asked.

“I asked Pinkie to make the party for me and surprise me with the location!” I said.

“She’s probably going to host it in Sugarcube Corner, like always.” Psyche guessed.

“I actually thought she was going to do it at my shop.” I guessed.

“Hey, knowing Pinkie, we might have the party at a T.G.I. Fridays for all we known!” Psyche said, and we all laughed.

“Wait, how is that funny?” Blaze asked.

“Heh! Anyways, breakfast is ready as spaghetti!” I said.

“You cooked spaghetti for breakfast?” Blaze asked.

“Silly Blaze! The only spaghetti you can eat for breakfast is leftovers!” Psyche said.

“That’s right!” I said.

“Right.” Blaze nodded.

“That’s why I made angel-hair pasta instead!” I said.

A cutaway shows at Fluttershy’s cottage, Fluttershy puts a little bit of salad in Angel’s food dish and she calls out for him. “Angel! Time for breakfast!” Angel starts hopping in the room, but all his fur is gone. Fluttershy suddenly screams and faints. The cutaway ends.

“My goodness, I slept like a rock last night!” Water said as she walked into the kitchen. “Hey are you cooking me breakfast?”

“Water, take off your blind fold and ear muffs while you walk, you might crash into something.” I advised her.

“How did she get in here anyway?” Psyche asked.

“Water’s sense of smell is as good as a dog’s.” I said. “But then again, I don’t like dogs…” Just then, I kicked Water out of my trailer in fear.

“Now who wants a hearty breakfast?” I asked, putting some Angel-Hair pasta in Blaze and Psyche’s dishes.

“How is this hearty? Pasta isn’t good for you.” Blaze corrected me.

“Of course it is! It’s good for your soul!” I said.

“Blaze doesn’t have a soul!” Psyche teased.

“Shut up, Psyche!” Blaze demanded.

“Yeah, shut up, Psyche!” I added, but then I laughed. “But that was hilarious! You’re my favorite pony today, Psyche!”

“Thank you!” Psyche bowed.

“Shut up, Psyche!” I instructed him again.

So we all had our breakfast, we talked for a little bit, and I was just about to head out for the day. “Ah! I gotta say! That was delicious, Flare!” Blaze said.

“Glad you liked it! Now get out!” I ordered them.

“Pardon?” Psyche asked.

I laughed. “I’m just kidding, well…. I’m half-kidding. I want you to leave, but only because I have some errands to run.” I said.

“Getting prepared for your party?” Blaze asked.

“Yep! I need a fine outfit! I already ordered one from Rarity! I need to go pick it up.” I said.

“Got it!” Blaze said.

“So we’ll be meeting at the party later, I guess?” Psyche asked.

“If you didn’t give me a present, don’t bother coming.” I teased.

“Don’t worry; I’ll be sure I won’t!” Psyche teased.

“Well, you got nothing to worry about, man! I got you something pretty sweet!” Blaze said.

“That’s awesome, brah! Can’t wait to see it!” I said.

“Awesome! So catch ya later?” Blaze asked.

“Catch ya later!” I said.

“Bye!” Psyche said as the two of them walked out of my trailer.

“Did you get Flare’s water bill?” Blaze asked Psyche behind my back.

“I sure did! What better birthday present than to pay your friend’s water bill?” Psyche asked.

“I just hope he doesn’t take too much showers.” Blaze said.

“Uh oh.” Psyche said as he read my bill letter.

“What’s wrong?” Blaze asked.

“I accidently took his electric bill.” Psyche said.

“Oh… well… I guess we should split this present then if either of us is going to have money leftover.” Blaze suggested.

So back at my trailer, I was getting my phone, money, and other stuff, turned on my alarm, and I walked out. I skipped along the town until I got to Rarity’s shop. Rarity was upstairs already getting a dress done. Sweetie Belle was also there, reading a magazine. I walked inside and sat on down and waited.

Sweetie Belle got up quickly, and ran over to me. “Hey, Flare!” she said in excitement.

“Hey, Sweets! What’s up?” I asked.

“Nothing much! Just hanging with my big sister!” Sweetie said.

“Really?” I looked around. “Because it doesn’t seem like it.” I teased.

“Well, Rarity has a few things to do. She said we’ll hang in a little while.” Sweets said.

“What’s Rarity’s definition of a ‘little while’? 2 hours? 3 hours?” I asked.

Sweetie giggled. “6 weeks?” she added.

“Yeah six weeks! Maybe even a billion years!” I added. We both were laughing.

“Maybe in 8 generations!” Sweetie added and we continued laughing.

“Ok, let’s not go that far.” I said seriously. Some time went by and Rarity came on downstairs with her new dress.

“Sweetie? Darling? I’m ready for our playda-“ Rarity stopped talking and saw mud tracks on the ceiling, and Rarity got pretty angry. “SWEETIE BELLE! How many times do I have to say- Wait, how did your mud tracks get on the ceiling?”

I was holding Sweetie up on the ceiling while Sweetie was walking on it; she was giggling as I was singing; “Spider Belle; Spider Belle; does whatever a Spider Belle does! Can she swing; from a web? No she can’t; she’s a belle! Look oooooout; she’s Spider Belllllllllllllllle!”

“Oh….. Flare! Darling! Hello!” Rarity said with an embarrassed tone.

“Oh hey Rare! I guess we didn’t have to wait for you for six weeks!” I said.

“What do you mean by that?” Rarity asked.

“Sweetie and I were thinking of your definition for a ‘little while’.” I said.

“Ok, all the blood is coming to my head!” Sweetie said looking pretty dizzy.

“Oh. Sorry, Sweets!” I said, putting her back on the floor.

“What can I do for you, Flare?” Rarity asked.

“Is my ready party outfit?” I asked.

“Is your what now?” Rarity asked.

“Is my outfit party ready?” I asked.

“Oh your party outfit? Why yes it is! What kind of party are you going to anyway?” Rarity asked looking for my ‘birthday suit’.

“It’s my birthday party! What you forgot?” I asked. “I need the birthday suit I asked for. I wanna put on my birthday suit.”

“Your birthday party? That’s today?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah, I told you like a million times already.” I reminded her.

“What’s your definition of a ‘million’?” Sweetie Belle asked me.

“Oh I dunno… two, I guess.” I said.

“Oh dear! I am so sorry!” Rarity said.

“It’s cool! As long as I got a present for you, it’s fine!” I said.

“Oh…. Your present?” Rarity was feeling really nervous because she knew she forgot to get me a present, but an idea popped into her head. She got my outfit, and gave it to me. “Here’s your present!”

“This isn’t my present.” I said.

“Yeah it is! See? I’m giving it to you! My treat!” Rarity squeed.

“I ordered this. It can’t be a present unless you surprise me with something.” I said.

“Oh…..” Rarity said.

“It’s alright, Rare! I get what you’re saying! You have my real present somewhere and you were trying to trick me into thinking this is my present, so you’d surprise me later!” I said mischievously. “Oooo I’m onto you!”

“What? Oh! Right! Yes, of course! You’re too smart for me, Flare.” Rarity giggled embarrassedly.

“I know how generous you are, Rare! My party’s going to start pretty soon!” I said.

“Ok, dear! I hope you like the new outfit!” she said.

“I do, thanks! Alright, I’ll catch later, sista!” I said as I walked out of the shop.

“Toodles!” Rare said, waving at me as I walk out. She starts freaking out after I leaft. “OH THE HORRORS! THE HORRORS! Why must my work be in the way of remembering very important days that my friends have?!”

“So what you forgot Flare’s birthday? It’s alright!” Sweet said.

“NO! It’s not alright!” Rare yelled, shaking Sweetie around. “Don’t you know what this means?!”

“It means you’re going to delay our playdate?” Sweets asked.

“Just for a little while, dear.” Rarity smiled.

“And your definition of a little while is….” Sweetie said with an attitude.

“I have to find Flare a present. I’m so caught up on my work that I forgot to get him one!” Rarity cried.

“Just make him a nice outfit!” Sweetie suggested.

“Oh, and what did you just see me give him?” Rarity asked.

“Flare will never suspect you giving him another outfit.” Sweets said.

“C’mon, Sweetie Belle, let’s get real! I need to give Flare something big! Maybe the best present ever, but the question is, what present would be the best present for a pony like Flare?” Rarity asked herself.

“Flare usually likes video games.” Sweetie said.

“Oh…. I never thought I’d get the heart of being inside a video game store.” Rarity took a deep breath. “But it doesn’t seem to be much of a choice there, is there?”

“There’s nothing to worry about Rarity. Flare’s an easy pony to impress! Just give him one game, and he’ll be satisfied.” Sweetie said.

“Thank you, Sweetie Belle! You are a true life saver!” Rarity said as she takes her pocket book and runs out of her shop in a hurry.

“I’m a piece of candy?” Sweetie asked herself. So Rarity ran over to the video game store to find me a game for my birthday. Rarity felt a bit uncomfortable being in a video game store though. All the gamers inside the store were whistling and staring at Rarity, and not to mention, video games aren’t really her thing, but she knew she had to do to make my big day the best it can be. I mean, wouldn’t Rarity do that with ponies that aren’t even her closest friends? She generously gave a sea serpent her tail, so I don’t see why not.

“Hello, miss! Can I help you?” one of the clerks with a Scottish accent asked.

“Oh, hi! It’s my friend’s birthday, and I want to get him a video game as a gift, if you please?” Rarity asked.

“You’ve come to the right place, miss! We sell are sorts of video games here!” the clerk said.

“Really? I haven’t noticed.” Rarity said sarcastically.

“What kind of games does your friend like to play?” the clerk asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t pay attention, and I don’t hang with him that much.” Rarity said.

“Well, if I had to guess, perhaps your friend likes shooters! How about Dead Space 2?” the clerk asked.

“DEAD Space? Flare Gun deserves better than this DEAD stuff! He’ll have nightmares!” Rarity said.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. I had a lot of costumers that had nightmares with the first Dead Space. They got so scared, their spleens fell out!” the clerk said.

“EWWW!” Rarity yelled.

“Ya don’t seem like a gamer girl.” The clerk said.

“I’M NOT!” Rarity yelled.

“Hi, Rarity!” Spike said.

“Spikey! What are you doing here?” Rarity asked.

“I’m here to find Flare a birthday present! Maybe we can look together! Make these gifts from the both of us!” Spike suggested with hearts on his eyes.

”I appreciate the offer, Spike!” Rarity said, looking a little freaked out. “But I need to give Flare the best of the best; he deserves it!”

“Well, you came to the right place! I already gave Flare a pre-order for Halo 4!” Spike said.

“How on Earth did you get the money?” Rarity asked.

“Twilight asked for some from Celestia. Being a student of the princess does has its advantages, Rarity, you know?” Spike said.

“Well, I wonder what Flare would like?” Rarity asked, looking around store. “Ah! Here we are! Super Mario 64! This looks like a game that Flare would like!”

“First of all, Flare already has that game; second, Flare’s getting a little tired of Mario.” Spike said.

“Oh…. Alright then. How about…..” Rarity continued looking around. “Mario and Sonic in the Olympics! That sounds like fun!”

“If you knew Flare well, you’d know he hates sports games.” Spike informed her.

“I obviously don’t know him well enough then.” Rarity giggled embarrassedly. “How about Little Monster?”

”That game is for babies.” Spike said.

“Well, if you know Flare so much, what do you think he’ll like?” Rarity asked.

“FPS’s, RPGs, TPS’s, strategy games, any will do!” Spike said.

Rarity became silent for a moment. “Huh?” she asked curiously.

“First-person shooters is what he mainly likes. Look for shooting games.” Spike informed her.

“How about this one?” Rarity asked.

“Call of Duty: Black Ops 2?” Spike started laughing. “COD stopped being good since Modern Warfare 2!”

“This is so hard, Spikey!” Rarity whined. “I know nothing about games! How can I find the right one for Flare?”

“Then don’t give him a game. Flare has so many games he hasn’t even used yet.” Spike said. “If you really wanna impress Flare, perhaps I can help.”

”Spikey-Wikey, I’d love you forever if you helped me find the right present for Flare!” Rarity hugged Spike really tight but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Well, in that case….. Flare would LOVE IT if you gave him a new pair of ear buds!”

“Thank you, Spike! You’re the best!” Rarity ran out of the video game shop leaving Spike behind with hearts spinning around his head.

“She’ll love me forever for sure!” Spike said to himself.

“A baby dragon and an adult pony? I would love to see how your kid will look like!” the store clerk teased.

“Whoa, buddy! Take it slow!” Spike said embarrassingly. “I don’t want to think about that yet!”

Meanwhile, I walked on over to see Pinkie; maybe I can get a sneak peek of my party. I knocked on the door to Sugarcube Corner. Knock, knock, knock; “Pinkie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Pinkie?”

Pinkie opened the door and cried, “Hiya, Flarey!”

I then awkwardly started knocking on the side the door because Pinkie didn’t let me finish my knock so I did so and then I awkwardly mumbled “Pinkie?”

“Hi!” Pinkie said.

“Wow that was unexpecting.” I said.

“What do you mean?” Pinkie asked.

“I thought you were going to yell happy birthday to me?” I asked.

“Of course, silly! You didn’t give me a chance to!” Pinkie informed me. We were both silent for a few seconds.

“Are you going to say it?” I asked.

“Wow, aren’t you rushy?” Pinkie said and giggled. “How about some balloons?” Pinkie gave me a couple of balloons.

“Oh how nice! You just gave me a couple of sacks full of your breath! Just what I needed!” I said excitedly, but probably sarcastically. I wasn’t too sure.

Pinkie giggled. “Hope you like them!”

“Hey, no worries! I do, but balloons are always weird to me. Balloons is just another way of saying; ‘Sup brah? Want a couple of plastic sacks full of my breath?’”

“But these are all plastic sacks full of Gummy’s breath!” Pinkie corrected me.

“I stand corrected.” I said while peeking inside.

Pinkie giggled. “What are you peeking at, silly?”

“I just wanted a sneak peek of my party!” I said.

“Well, it wouldn’t be a SURPRISE party if you knew the location? Duh! Your party is somewhere else!” Pinkie reminded me.

“Oh that’s cool! Where is it?” I asked.

“I can’t tell you! It would spoil the surprise!” Pinkie reminded me.

“Right! Hmm…. Maybe it’s time I went on a little scavenger hunt.” I said.

“Scavenge away, matey! Arrrr!” Pinkie said in a pirate voice and winks.

“Aye, matey!” I said, with one of my eyes closed. “Can I least have a hint of where it is?”

“No way! That would spoil the surprise even more! Laters!” Pinkie said, closing the door.

“Aww, ya seriousen me?” I asked as if ‘seriousen’ was an actual word. Hey, I speak Flareneese! Anything is possible when I make up my own language!

Meanwhile, Rarity heads over to the electronics shop to get my ear buds. “Ok… ear buds… what are ear buds anyway? Are they little robots that hang on your ear or something?” she asked herself. She searches high and low for them, but can't find them anywhere. Not the ones I'm looking for though. “Alright… I think I might some aidez-moi.” Rarity looks around the store to see who might help her out when eventually she finds Adventure Blade looking at some chargers. “Yoo-hoo! Hello there, Flare’s friend!”

“Huh?” Addie asked.

“You’re a friend of my friend Flare, right?” Rarity asked as she walked over towards him.

“I guess.” Addie said.

“What’s your name again? Ad… something?” Rarity asked.

“Adventure Blade.” Addie said.

“Advenure… Blay?” Rarity asked.

“Adventure Blade.” Addie repeated himself.

“Ad… sorry, dear. English is more of a second language to me. Le français est essentiellement la première langue parlée à ma famille avant de passer à Ponyville.” (Translation: French is basically the first language my family spoken before moving to Ponyville.) Rarity said.

“Ok.” Addie said. I knew he didn’t really understand what she said, but that’s all he gives me a lot.

“So… Ad… Adven… Adventuro Blabe?” Rarity asked.

“Just call me Keith if my name is so hard for you.” Addie suggested.

“Keiff?” Rarity asked.

“Bye.” Addie said as he was about to walk away.

“No, wait! I need your help!” Rarity begged.

“Why would you want the help from a pony that you can’t even pronounce his name?” Addie asked.

“I just need help getting Flare something for his birthday and I thought you might help me in getting some… what did Spike call it? Ear-buds?” Rarity asked.

“Oh.” Addie said.

“Oui.” Rarity nodded.

“Ok.” Addie said.

“So you know where I could find some, darling?” Rarity asked.

“Here in this store.” Addie said.

“Yeah I realize that, but where in this store?” Rarity asked.

“Do you even know what ear-buds are?” Addie asked.

“Yeah… friends with Flare’s ears, right?” Rarity asked.

“Rarity, why would you buy Flare something that you don’t know what it is?” Addie asked. “How would you even know he’d like it?”

“Because Spike suggested it.” Rarity said.

“How would you know if Spike is actually right?” Addie asked.

“Well… he hangs out with Flare a lot, so… I thought he’d know.” Rarity said.

“Oh… I guess that’s true, sorry.” Addie said.

“Yeah.” Rarity said.

“Yee.” Addie said.

“So would be a dear and just help me find the ear-buds please?” Rarity asked.

“You see your friend Rainbow Dash?” Addie pointed over to Rainbow Dash across the store.

“Yeah.” Rarity said as she looked over and saw Rainbow Dash picking out ear-buds.

“You seem to be a little late for getting Flare THAT for his birthday.” Addie said.

“Hmph!” Rarity groaned. “Yeah thanks for your help, Keet!” she said sarcastically.

“You’re welcome, Rawrity.” Addie teased as he walks away.

Meanwhile, I continued my scavenger hunt. I went over to Sweet Apple Acres to see if it was there, but I did smell something delicious coming from the farmhouse. I was about to knock on the door, but Big Mac was blocking the way, wearing a bouncer suit. I tried to find a way around him, but he kept blocking the way. I tried to trick him in saying "RUN! IT'S GODZILLA!", while pointing behind him, using a Japanese accent, and had that look on my face with an anime character spazing out. I tried other methods in tricking him, like putting an apple fritter on the ground attached to a string, but that didn't work, in fact, once I pulled it back, I wanted to eat it, but there were fire ants on it that made my tongue all swollen. I even tried to get a decoy to stand out there in front of Big Mac while I sneak through the window, but once I got inside, there was a sling shot that Granny Smith used to throw me back out. Next, I tried one more method, probably the trickiest one in the book: going through the back door. I couldn’t do that though because Winona was sleeping there and I was just like ‘nope’. I then gave up on trying to find out what the Apples have in store for me, so I might as well wait until later.

Meanwhile back with Rarity, she wanted to get me something really cute! So she went over to Fluttershy’s to get me a new pet of some sort. “So you want to give Flare another pet huh?”

“What? He has a pet already?” Rarity asked.

“He has pet fish, remember?” Fluttershy reminded her.

“Ahhh…” Rarity nodded. “I clearly do not know Flare that well it seems. I don’t think I’ve ever been inside his trailer before.”

“I’m sorry.” Flutters said.

“But you clearly know Flare pretty well. You two are close, right?” Rarity asked.

“Well… umm… he hasn’t been visiting as much as he used to.” Flutters said.

“But you think you might know what he may like?” Rarity asked.

“Mhm.” Flutters nodded.

“Do you have any dogs, dear? I bet Flare would ADORE a dog!” Rarity suggested.

“Wow… you really don’t know Flare well.” Flutters said awkwardly.

“What?” Rarity asked.

“He’s afraid of dogs.” Flutters reminded her.

“But… how is that possible? He was at Sweet Apple Acres multiple times.” Rarity said.

“He mainly just ignores Winona.” Flutters said.

“How about a bird? You think Flare might want a bird?” Rarity asked.

“Flare doesn’t like birds. He says they always bite.” Flutters said.

“How about a turtle?” Rarity asked.

“Flare’s afraid the turtle would eat his fish.” Flutters said. “How about a cat?”

“But wouldn’t a cat eat his fish too?” Rarity asked.

“His tank is protected. The only reason I said turtle is because turtles require tanks and he only has room in his trailer for one tank.” Flutters said.

“So a cat?” Rarity asked.

“Well… I used to have the perfect kitty I was originally going to give Rainbow Dash the time she was looking for a pet, but Ahuizotl from Daring Do already adopted him.” Flutters said.

“Actually, on second thought, not a cat.” Rarity said.

“Why not?” Flutters asked.

“I wouldn’t want to see all of Flare’s cloth and yarn being scratched. Trust me on that.” Rarity said.

“Do you even know who Flare is?” Flutters asked curiously.

Meanwhile, I went over to Engie’s house and did the Sheldon Cooper on his door. Engie was in there making me something. I saw the blow torch sparks from the window. “Hey Engie, do you wanna build a snowman?” I asked.

“Go away, Flare!” Engie called out.

“Why?” I asked.

“Uhh, ah’m not home!” Engie shouted out.

“But where did that voice come from then?” I asked.

“This is a voice message system. Please leave a message after the beep!” Engie said.

“Are you sure this is a voice message system?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yes it is, now go away!” Engie yelled.

I shrugged. “Ok, I guess I’ll come back later.” I said. Engie felt relieved and went back to work.

Back with Rarity, she went over to Sugarcube Corner to see if she can get me anything sweet. She looked over at the Candy Apples and asked for one, but then Pinkie came and said; “NO, Rarity!”

“What?” Rarity asked.

“You can’t get Flare a candy apple for his birthday!” Pinkie said.

”Why not?” Rarity asked.

“Because Flare has a dentist appointment next week! This stuff rots the teeth!” Pinkie said.

“Ooook, how about the cookies?” Rarity asked.

“His grandma already got him fresh cookies in the mail!” Pinkie said.

“How about the cake?” Rarity asked.

”C’mon, a cake on a birthday? Be more original, Rarity!” Pinkie advised her.

“This jell-o?” Rarity asked.

“Cherry Berry actually already ordered that jell-o.” Mr. Cake said.

“C’mon, Rarity! You can think better than giving Flare sweets! That’s already my department! Get him something he’d love!” Pinkie advised her.

“But what else is there to get him?” Rarity asked.

“You have a creative imagination, Rarity! I’m sure you’ll think of something!” Pinkie said.

“Thank you, Pinkie. I’m glad you respect my creative imagination!” Rarity said thankfully.

“Ok, I said you have a creative imagination. I didn’t say I respected it.” Pinkie corrected her.

Back with me, I went from house to house trying to spoil my surprise. I tried Aqua’s house, but only his sister Wind Racer was there and she told me Aqua was trying to fix a water leak over at the Water Purifier plant. I tried Fluttershy’s place, but she said she had to cure a sick mutated chipmunk with a beaver tail, and the toe tails the size of gram crackers. Derpy was sick with the muffin flu, and after that, I just gave up. I suppose I’ll just wait until the party to find out what they all got me.

Meanwhile, Rarity was walking slowly and upsettingly through town because she didn’t know what to get me for my birthday. She sighed and said, “I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to get Flare for his birthday! Everything I try to get him, somepony else already got him, or they tell me he won’t like it. I could’ve gotten him that automatic soap dispenser if I didn’t se dégonfler of the challenge I had to do to win it.”

A cutaway shows a pony giving away an automatic soap dispenser for Rarity. “Step right up! Win a free automatic soap dispenser!” the merchant yelled.

”What’s the catch?” Rarity asked.

“No catch! All you have to do is make macaroni art of a kitty and whoever wins the macaroni art contests, wins the dispenser!” the merchant said.

“Sounds good! I’m in!” Rarity said.

“Good! Just grab some sticky messy glue and head over to your station!” the merchant said. The cutaway ends.

“I could’ve entered that contest if he didn’t say the words ‘sticky’ and ‘messy’ in that sentence.” Rarity said with a grossed-out look on her face.

“Pssst, hey.” A voice whispered.

“Huh?” Rarity asked.

“Over here.” The voice whispered again.

”Over where, darling?” Rarity asked.

“Over here!” the voice was coming from behind a few trash bins between two houses, and it was a pony wearing a dark robe. Rarity walked over to the pony cautiously. “I overheard you were looking for a birthday present. Is it true?”

“Yes, it is. How did you know?” Rarity asked.

”A wise pony never reveals all their secrets.” The pony said.

“What is this all about?” Rarity asked.

“I know just the thing that will please your friend!” the pony said, taking out a cube-shaped object. “With this!”

“What is this?” Rarity asked.

“It’s an imagine-holographic simulation device.” The pony said.

“An imagine-holowhata whatulation device?” Rarity asked.

“It’s a game, but can be done in real life. All you have to do is insert the game of choice into the slot here, and the game ‘magically’ comes to life from just a push of a button! Amazing, isn’t it?” the pony explained.

“Well…. Flare does like video games. How much is it?” Rarity asked.

“60 bits.” The pony said.

“Ooo, that seems like a lot, but I must do anything to impress Flare, so here!” Rarity said, giving the mysterious pony 60 bits.

“Use it wisely.” The pony advised her, giving the cube to Rarity.

“Ok, so how does this work?” Rarity asked, looking at the cube. “Are there any particular instruction that’s I have to know before using it?” Rarity looked back where the mysterious pony used to be, but they were already gone. Rarity looked back at the cube and smiled; “This will surely make Flare very happy!”

So, I was sitting in my office at the shop, very UNhappy because I really needed to know what everypony was going to give me for my birthday. Lyra and Bonnie were working still, so they had nothing for me it seems. All I had in my head was what the presents were to be or where ever the party is. I just played with the objects on my desk. I tried sharpening my pancil- I mean, pencil; I tried to play with those little balls on my desk on string that when you hit them, the string ball on the other side moves. What is that thing called again? Whatever. Yeah, it’s called whatever.

“Ugh! I’m so bored!” I complained. “I really hate waiting for surprises. Just like Derpy hated the re-run of The Last Roundup.”

A cutaway shows Rainbow Dash putting up a banner on town hall with AppleJack on it. Mainly this is a replica of the same scene from the Last Roundup. A lightning strike hit Dash’s tail and Dash said; “Now, careful!” Derpy was hopping on a storm cloud. “You don’t want to cause anymore damage than what you’ve done.”

“WHAT?!” Derpy yelled angrily as flew towards Rainbow Dash’s face. “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! Did you just forget what you said since this became a re-run? WHAT’S MY NAME?!” Derpy yelled in Rainbow Dash’s face. The cutaway ends.

Just then, my cell phone started ringing, and I answered it. “Sup brah?”

“Hey, Flare! Ah need yer help over at the farm. Can ya come over here?” AppleJack asked.

I smiled. “Mischievous face! Of course, AJ! I’ll be there momentarily!” I said.

”Thank ya, sugarcube! See ya in a little bit!” AppleJack said.

“Bye!” I said and hung up. “Party time!” So I trotted over to Sweet Apple Acers to help ol AppleJack out on whatever she needed, thinking it was a party, but once I got there, there wasn’t a party. AppleJack needed me to help Big Mac with putting a few crates on the top of shelves of the barn. Once I finished, AppleJack and Big Mac thanked me for the hard work, and then I had a phone call with Aqua who needed me over at the town pool.

Nope, no party there either once I got there. Aqua needed me to hold a big pole thing near one of the drains in the drained pool while Aqua was in the sewers, trying to clean out the pipes with the other side of the pole. Once we were done, Aqua and I filled the pool together, and I got another phone call.

After that, I got yet another phone call from Black Thunder. He needed me to record him doing skateboarding stunts, and then edit the video by putting music in the background, and then upload it on his account on YouTube. I knew it was too good to be true. It doesn’t seem that the party was going to be anytime soon. This isn’t what I wanted for my birthday! I didn’t want to do chores for my friends! I just ignored the rest of the phone calls I had, and just upsettingly walked over to my shop so I could just continue playing with my balls….. on the strings that are on my desk, and continue making cutaway gags of certain events in Ponyville that I wasn’t a part of, but just then, when I walked into my shop, I heard a loud; “SURPRISE!” I gasped and then I died of a heartattack, and now it’s the end of Friendship is Epic. Good-bye!

“Oh right, Flare hates surprises. I forgot.” Pinkie said.

HA! I’m kidding! I didn’t die. Sorry to burst your bubble, brahs! “Wow! That was a flawless surprise! Flawless! FLAAAAAAWLEEEEEEESS!” when I yelled ‘flawless’, my head began to expand from digital affects, and then my head turned back to normal size once I finished saying it. “I am so surprised right now, my boredom is gone, and I don’t have to keep messing around with the balls on my desk in my office.”

“Well, I hope you like everything! Pinkie and Crystal made it really fast while you were gone!” Blaze said.

“Well, as long as nopony says ‘Relax, Flare. It’s a party!’ Then everything should be fine.” I said.

“Why don’t you want anypony to say that?” Crystal asked.

“Because everyone says it a lot, and it’s way too obvious which makes you sound stupid.” I said.

“Well Crystal and I have a little something for you, Flare!” Pinkie said.

“Gum?” I asked.

“Nope! Are you ready, Crystal?” Pinkie asked her.

“Ready!” Crystal said.

“Wait! You didn’t even give me a fair chance to guess!” I complained.

“You had your chance, Flare.” Crystal said.

“Yeah kiss my shiny red flank!” I said angrily.

“Yeah with pleasure!” Crystal said mischievously.

“Eww, really?” I asked. “You gross me out and you’re not giving me any chances. I’m going to take this plasma grenade and throw it at you and watch you blow up.” I suddenly take out a plasma grenade from Halo out of my vest pocket and then I activated it and then I threw it at Crystal. “Ally-oop!” I said as I threw it at her, but it wasn’t on Crystal though. It was still sticking on my hoof. “Hey! HEY! AAAH! RAAAH!” I wiggled my hoof many times trying to get it off, but it was too sticky, and then I blew myself up. Luckily for me, the damage to myself wasn’t critical. I was just all burnt up. “Ok, what do you and Pinkie have for me?” I asked her as I coughed up some smoke shaped like a donut.

“Hit it, Crystal!” Pinkie cried as Crystal started banging some drums and Pinkie started playing her accordion. After a few seconds of instrumental, Pinkie begins to sing to me. “It’s your birthday, it’s your birthday, it’s your birthday today! It’s your birthday, it’s your birthday, everything is ok! Stuff your mouth in chocolately-vanillay goodness… I accidently spit in it, I thought I might confess!”

“Open up the presents that all your friends will give,” Crystal sang. “Then add up your age to find the total punches from Biff!”

Biff from the Back to the Future shows up and starts punching me in the head 26 times. “Hellooooooooooooooo? Helloooooooooooo? Anypony hooooooooooooooooooooooooooome?” He had to say that sentence that long to make up the total punches he gave me.

“Feel a pain in your head, just place an ice cream cone!” Crystal sang as she places an ice cream cone on my head.

“AAAH! Brain freeze!” I yelled in pain.

“Just loooooook at you nooooow.” Crystal sang. “It’s your birthday, that is certainly a faaaaaact!”

“Not an opinion!” Pinkie added.

“Just looooooook at you noooooow.” Crystal sang. Just then all the instruments stop as Crystal sings, “Look out for that baseball bat.”

Just then, a flying bat with a baseball bat knocks me in the head. “HEY!” I cried.

“Now you get it, Flare!” Crystal cried in excitement.

The instruments start playing again as Pinkie sings the next part of the duet, “It’s your birthday, it’s your birthday today! It’s your birthday, it’s not Earth Day, so litter all the food from the buffet!”

Just then Crystal started up a drum solo when she raps the next part of the song, “Don’t you remember Scootaloo’s birthday? You sang to her about the world ending! Don’t you remember Pinkie’s birthday? That was surely a blessing!”

“In what way?” I asked.

“Don’t you remember Aqua’s birthday? That one we certainly had to ditch!” Crystal rapped.

“Wait, what?” Aqua asked.

“Don’t you remember Psyche’s birthday? The anti-gravity was a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit… too irritating.” Crystal rapped.

“You were about to say a swear word, weren’t you, Crystal?” Pinkie asked her mischievously.

“You have no way of proving.” Crystal said.

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” Pinkie shouted as she started to sing again, “It’s your birthday, it’s your birthday, it’s your birthday today!”

“It’s your birthday, fun’s underway-ay, our love’s in your DNA.” Crystal sang.

“Wow, no wonder he looks very unhealthy.” Pinkie teased.

“So please oh please oh please, Flare, do us a little favor,” Crystal and Pinkie both sang to me at the same time.

“Just please,” Crystal sang.

“Oh please!” Pinkie sang.

“Just please!” Crystal sang.

“Yes please!” Pinkie sang.

“Just stop playing everything for a moment I have a sneeze coming.” Crystal instructed Pinkie as they both stopped playing their instruments. Crystal looked like she was about to sneeze, but nothing happened. “Oh… it went away. Sneezes always go away when you least expect them.”

“Yeah, I don’t get that.” Pinkie agreed.

“Just enjoy your birthday today- HEY!” Pinkie and Crystal both sang as they concluded the song.

“So, Flare? How was that?” Crystal asked.

“Well I liked the fact you two did a duet. It’s nice, and you two have nice voices, and the lyrics were ok. I mean, it’s better than what I could make, but it doesn’t beat Cheese Sandwich’s music.” I explained. “What do you think Simon?”

“Listening to you two makes me think about a chalkboard being scraped, or a knife cutting food at the same time it rubs against the fork holding it down, that’s how bad you are.” Simon Cowell said.

“Well… SHUT UP!” Crystal yelled at Simon as she started tearing up. “What do you know about good music you stubborn… no-good… JERK! I’M GOING TO APPLEWOOD AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!”

“I am so glad you left Equestrian Idol.” I said to Simon. “You’re the Gordon Ramsay of music.”

“Well that’s funny; we both were in the same judging class in college. It’s what our professor taught us. It’s for the ratings.” Simon explained.

So we all started to party it out like its $19.99! Yeah, that’s how much the party costed because Billy Neighs’ employers sold it to us. So we had a lot of fun! We played on the piñata, pin the tail on the pony which was Pinkie, we did some karaoke (I sang all the songs I sang with Cheese Sandwich lyrics), we danced, we did the Mareami Heat challenge, and the best part was, we had a lot of fun! We had some cake, but the sad thing is: it wasn’t the cake I wanted. I said I wanted chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, but guess what I got? Vanilla cake with chocolate frosting! I didn’t say anything to them, so I just went with it.

Now, it’s on to the presents! I was having too much fun in the party that I totally forgot to care about the presents! “Yay! Presents!” I cried in excitement. “I hope nopony got me Skyrim for the PC.”

“Why not?” Spike asked.

“Because then I’d just keep modding it until it crashes.” I said. The sad truth, huh?

So here’s the list of presents I got: Spike got me a pre-paid GTA 5 case, so I can get it right when it comes out! Granny Smith baked me a pie. What flavor? She said ‘PIE FLAVORED’, and a mini pie popped out of the big pie. AppleJack and Big Mac got me my very own tree in their farm and named it after me! Ok, could’ve been a better gift then that, but it was awesome! Fluttershy got me a little fish-sized piano for my fish; Psyche got me a Blu-Ray of Paranorman; Blaze and Rainbow Dash both got me a free ticket and back-stage pass for the next Wonderbolts show; Aqua and Wind Racer got me a new snuggie, which is a blanket with sleeves; Bonnie got me an iTunes gift card, even though I never use iTunes; and Lyra gave me a Starbucks gift card, even though I don’t know if there’s a Starbucks even in Ponyville; Derpy got me a cool propeller hat, which by the way was my favorite present out of the bunch; Engie made me an automatic house-cleaner, which was my second-favorite present, because I really don’t like cleaning bathrooms; Crystal got me a little Princess Luna bobble head; Black Thunder gave me a Blu-Ray of Frankenweenie; the Cutie Mark Crusaders drew me a picture of me and them, which really made me smile; and Pinkie got me a replacement cane to go with my top hat and cane, because this cane can be bended and stored in my pocket, which will really be useful! Oh, and Twilight gave me… well you can guess. It’s a Chicken Soup story, which I really don’t get why they named it that. Doesn’t seem as delicious as it sounds.

“This is so awesome! Thanks, brahs! I really appreciate the presents!” I said. “Wait! I didn’t get Rarity’s present yet!”

“Oh…. Me?” Rarity asked embarrassedly.

“Yes, you! I couldn’t forget you, sista! I’m pretty sure you got me something!” I said, looking at her mischievously.

“Well, I wanted you to save the best for last!” Rarity said.

“Engie’s present and Derpy’s present was the best.” I said.

“Well…. Third best then!” she said, giving me the cube she bought from earlier.

“Oooo, a cube! Pretty cool! Is it a Rubik’s cube?” I asked.

“Actually, it’s a…. imaginative-somethingraphic….something….” Rarity forgot the name of it.

“Ehh, who cares! What’s this button do?” I asked. I suddenly pressed the button, and then a jellyfish of some sort appears in the middle of the room. “Oh hey, a jellyfish of some sort! Cool! But why does this cube look familiar?”

“Not to worry, dear!” Rarity said. “All it is is a cube that brings your games to life!”

”A cube that brings your games to life?” I asked, tilting my head.

“Yeah! You just insert a game into this slot, but it appears there’s already a game in it.” Rarity said. Just then, more jellyfish-like figure started appearing all around the store. One of the jellyfish hopped on Blaze’s head and Blaze fell on the floor.

“BLAZE!” Rainbow Dash yelled, trying to get the jellyfish thing off his head.

“Facehugger jellyfish? They look like those alien jellyfish from the game Sea Horrors.” I said.

“But the pony said they were holographic!” Rarity said.

“Wait, who sold you this game?” I asked her.

”I dunno, a strange pony wearing a black robe. Didn’t see what they looked like.” Rarity said.

“Rarity, don’t you know not to buy stuff from strangers?” I asked her.

“Honestly, Flare! If there was a stranger around town, Pinkie would’ve noticed, and she would’ve told everypony.” Rarity said.

“I was too busy setting up the party!” Pinkie said.

“Woops.” Rarity said embarrassed. Just then, all the other jellyfish started hopping on everypony’s head. I dropped the cube and Rarity screamed.

“That’s an imaginative-holographic simulation device, Rarity! Every gamer knows when they made these, they all gone wrong, and they stopped selling it!” I yelled.

“I didn’t know, Flare!” Rarity cried. “I was trying to find you present, but I couldn’t find anything! It was a last minute thing!”

“Yeah, well. I don’t think you’ll be able to help me out in this. These jellyfish creatures are slimy and dirty, and I know you won’t be able to fight them with me.” I said, while firing my laser blast magic at the jellyfish that were floating towards us.
“OH SNAP! WHAT ARE THESE THINGS?!” Crystal yelled.

“Jellyhuggers, from Sea Horrors! Quick! Put on a helmet, and try squishing these things with your….” Just before I finished, one of the jellyhuggers already got to Crystal, and it was just me and Rarity left. “Rarity, can you help me out?”

“I ain’t touching those sticky slimy beasts!” Rarity cried.

“You won’t. I can lure them towards me while you shut the cube off.” I explained.

“You shouldn’ve let go of it in the first place.” Rarity glared at me and said.

“Just do it!” I ordered her. “Alright, jellies! COME AT ME BROS!” Just then, a jellyhugger got thrown onto my head and I fell on the ground.

“Oh dear!” Rarity was very scared. The jellies started floating towards her. There was a swarm of them, and they were surrounding the cube. Rarity was too afraid to interfere. She tried running towards the door, but the jellies were blocking the door, blocking her escape. She would’ve tried smashing through the window, but she’s afraid that would leave a mess. Now, she knew what she had to do. So she had to run through the jellyhuggers, no matter how messy she got, and she grabbed them with her magic, and threw them away from the cube, and the cube was all slimy. She didn’t want to push that slimy button, so she hesitated. She started sweating, and she was shaking, but she had to do what she had to do. So, with a few months of struggling, she finally pushed the button, and the jellies disappeared. HA! I was kidding, it wasn’t a few months of struggling; it was actually a few minutes. Yeah, knowing Rarity, I’m surprised it didn’t take longer than that. Everypony in the room regained their senses and it was all over.

Pinkie licked the jelly off her face, and said; “Mmm! Blueberry!”

“Rarity, you did it.” Aqua said excitedly.

“Yeah! You saved our lives! Way to go, girl!” Rainbow Dash flew up to her, play-punched her shoulder and said.

“Yeah, but….. if it weren’t for me, this wouldn’ve happened.” Rarity said upsettingly.

“You sure about that, Rarity?” the pony with the robe who sold her the cube asked.

“YOU! I want a refund!” Rarity yelled at the pony, but then the pony took off its robe, and it was revealed to be me.

“Surprise revenge!” I said.

“WHAT?!” Rarity cried.

“HA! I got you good, Rarity!” I laughed and said.

“What just happened?” Rarity asked.

“I was bored today, so I decided to play a prank on everypony by giving you this corrupted cube. I was actually going to be the one to save everypony, but….. I guess I was too slow.” I chuckled.

“That wasn’t funny, Flare!” Rarity said angrily at me.

“Relax! It’s my birthday! I wanted to do something heroic today.” I said.

“By playing a prank on us?” Aqua asked.

“Whatever it takes.” I said.

“Oh…. So, if you gave me this, then I didn’t get you anything.” Rarity said sadly.

“Yes you did. You gave me something worth more valuable than anything in the world, Rarity! You shopped till you dropped! You risked your time, and couldn’t stop under any circumstances until you got me a gift for my birthday. Even though you didn’t give anything, you still showed that you care, and that’s worth more than anything I could ever imagine.” I said, smiling at her.

“Oh…. But, I still feel bad. I wanted to give you something.” Rarity said.

“I would’ve accepted ANYTHING.” I said. “As long as you care, that’s all it matters!” I gave Rarity a big hug and she hugged back.

“Happy birthday, darling!” Rarity said.

“Thanks, Rarity!” I said as I released her. After I released her, Rarity squirts some hoof sanitizer on her hooves to get the germs off. Not me though of course, the slimy cube button… or… at least that I know of.

“What are we doing just standing around and hugging? Let’s continue this party!” Pinkie cried in excitement.

So for the rest of the day, we partied it all out! It was really fun! Oh, but wait, Addie didn’t give me his present yet! “Happy birthday, Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!” he said in excitement as he gave me a card.

“Oh thank you, Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeith!” I said in excitement and I opened up the envelope. “I hope there’s money in this card!”

“Ok… yeah, that makes sense. Only worry about the money that’s in the card, not bother caring that I got you a card.” Addie said in an insulted tone.

“OOOOOH! So there IS money in here then!” I nodded as I took out the card and opened it. I didn’t bother reading the card so I threw it aside and took the bits.

“Thanks, Addie!” I said.

“No prob.” He said. “I’ll never forget the time you bought me pants for my birthday. You know how good I am at removing them. Remove pants.”

“So where’s my present?” I asked.

“That is your present. I gave you bits.” Addie said.

“This 20 bit coin is all I get?” I asked.

“Yeah, so you can buy whatever you want with it.” Addie explained.

“Yeeeeeah that seems like a good idea, Addie! You give me 20 bits and I give you 20 bits for your birthday, and then you give me 20 bits for my next birthday, and I gave you another 20 bits for your next birthday, and we keep alternating until one of us dies and is 20 bits richer than the other.” I explained sarcastically.

“Wow, ok, I didn’t have to give you anything.” Addie said.

“It was very thoughtful, thank you Addie!” I said.

“Yeah, whatever.” Addie said sarcastically. “I feel pretty insulted.”

“No, Addie! Stop! I apologize!” I begged.

“Ehh whatever. I bought myself Binding of Isaac, and I’m going to be playing it all Spring, so you won’t be seeing me for a while by then. Bye. Also, poke.” Addie said as he left the shop. Yeah that was a nice birthday present for him leaving the shop like that. Well… Happy Birthday to me! Thanks for joining my party!

Aquashock (FiE Challenge)

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Hey brahs! It is once again time for another session of the Friendship is Epic Challenge! In this challenge, I replaced all my legs with octopus tentacles. It may be easier to swim with them, but walking will definitely be a major challenge! Let us begin!

Over at my friend Aquatic Armor’s house; his sister Wind Racer was making breakfast for them both. Ironically, she doesn’t know how to cook though. Aqua walked down stairs, rubbing his eyes. “Good morning, Aqua!” Wind Racer said.

“Mornin, sis!” Aqua said. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Well, we got eggs and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg sausage and spam; bacon sausage egg and spam; spam eggs bacon and spam; spam eggs bacon sausage and spam; spam spam spam bacon and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam spam spam spam spam.” Wind Racer said.

“Err… ya got anything without spam in it?” Aqua asked.

“Well, we got eggs sausage bacon and spam; doesn’t have too much spam in it.” Wind Racer said.

“Uhh, can I have eggs sausage bacon, without the spam?” Aqua asked.

“Ewww!” Wind Racer said.

“What do ya mean, ewww? I don’t like spam.” Aqua said.

“Well, you can give me your spam, Aqua! I love it! I’m having spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam spam!” I said, sitting from across the table as I waved one of my tentacles in front of Aqua’s face. Seductive music played in the background as I waved it.

“Baked beans are off!” Wind Racer said.

“Flare, when did ya get here?” Aqua asked.

“Just now.” I said to Aqua, and then I faced Wind Racer. “How about having spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam spam without the baked beans?”

“You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam?” Wind Racer asked.

Just then, a bunch of Viking ponies walked inside the kitchen and sang; “Spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam, SPAMLEY SPAAAAM, SPAMLEY SPAAAAAAM; SPAMLEY SPAAAAAM, SPAMLEY…”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Spike yelled, banging on a pan with a wooden spoon, and the Vikings stopped singing.

“Spike’s here too?” Aqua asked.

“I’m actually just here for the spam.” Spike said.

“The spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam….” I said.

Aqua was feeling very confused to what is going on, but he didn’t want it to bother him too much, so he just went outside to get the mail as the Vikings started singing again. Aqua reached into his mailbox and got a couple of letters out. He looked through them; there were two bills, three magazines that Aqua never subscribed to, and a strange letter from a pony by the name of Tissue Lion. “Hmm? What is this?” Aqua asked himself. He walked back into the kitchen as Spike was yelling shut up to the Vikings again, then Aqua asked Wind; “Wind, can ah speak to ya in private?”

“Of course, Aqua!” Wind Racer said. She then turned back to us and said; “Please excuse me!”

“Don’t wait too long! I WANT MY SAUSAGE!” I yelled.

“And spam right?” Spike asked me.

“Ok that’s starting to get annoying.” I said to him.

Wind Racer walked with Aqua to the living room and asked, “What is it, big ‘n skinny bro?”

“I just got this strange letter from someone named ‘Tissue Lion’. Ever heard of a name like that?” Aqua asked.

“No, I haven’t.” Wind Racer shook her head and said.

“Must’ve delivered it to the wrong house.” Aqua thought.

“I don’t think so, Aqua. Your name is written on the address, and our family crest is on it.” Wind Racer said, pointing to the stamp that shows a shield and a water drop.

“Our family crest?” Aqua said in shock. Aqua quickly opened the letter and read it. It reads: ‘Dear Aquatic Armor, Have you ever felt that you’re in a place you don’t belong? Do you think you want your ideas to be roamed freely without judgment? Have you ever wanted to use your powers for a better use? Well, I got a proposition for you! I am a dear friend of your parents, and before they died, your father along side me had a business deal. Him and I own a city under the sea; a city for seaponies. This city goes by the name of Hoofture. Since you’re a descendent of a pony that created Hoofture, I would like to share my finances with you, and give you a chance for your face to shine along this city. This letter has a map that’ll show you a way to one of the entrances to the Hoofture. Find your own boat ride. See you soon! Sincerely, Tissue Lion.’

“Our dad build a city for seaponies?” Wind Racer asked.

“I suppose he did.” Aqua said.

“Since when?” Wind Racer asked.

“I don’t know, sis; but I don’t know what’s up. There’s so much of our family that we have completely forgotten. It’s all a blur for me.” Aqua said. “Although, this might be a chance for us to learn who we really are.”

“But we’re Wind Racer and Aquatic Armor living freely and happily in Ponyville. That’s who we are. Isn’t that enough?” Wind Racer saked.

I don’t know what to expect. Maybe I should go alone.” Aqua said.

“Aqua, this is a family matter. I’m your sister! Allow me to come along!” Wind Racer insited.

“I appreciate it, sis, but I think this trip might be too dangerous.” Aqua said.

“How can it be dangerous? It’s a land of the seaponies, Aqua!” Wind Racer said.

“But I think there’s more to this than we think, sis.” Aqua said.

“I’m coming along with you, Aqua.” Wind Racer said.

“Ok, but you should stick by me the whole time!” Aqua instructed her.

“Trust me, if I was to be separated from you, it would be for a bathroom break.” Wind Racer said.

“Yeah, that’s what ya said when we were at Las Haygus for a convention. Ya had to take a bathroom break in a casino, and then ya blew all our money.” Aqua reminded her.

“I doubt Hoofture is anything like Las Haygus.” Wind Racer said.

“Can I come too, Aqua?” I asked with a puppy-look on my face.

“Nuh uh, no way, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Why not?” I asked.

“This is a personal family member, Flare.” Aqua said.

“If you think this is dangerous, YOU KNOW I can handle myself.” I said.

“I know.” Aqua nodded.

“So why wouldn’t you let me go?” I asked.

“I’m sorry, mate, but I don’t want to risk anything gettin’ screwed up.” Aqua said.

“Oh, and you think I’ll screw up?” I asked.

“Basically.” Aqua said.

“Since when did I screw up?” I asked. “Name ONE time!”

“I think it’s best if I don’t answer that.” Aqua said.

“Would you please let me go, brah? I’ve always wanted to see seaponies in personal!” I said. Just then, Aqua had a strange look on his face, like something got triggered in his mind.

Aqua’s face froze, like something was triggered inside of his mind, and then he said, “Ok, Flare. Ya can come.”

“YAY!” I cheered. “Can we bring the Vikings too?”

“No.” Aqua said.

“Awww. Sorry, brahs.” I said to them upsettingly.

“Ehh, it’s ok.” One of the Vikings said. “We had our spam. We’re good to go!”

“I’ll go on with them. They’re tourists anyway.” Spike said.

“You don’t wanna come, brah?” I asked.

“I’ve seen these seapony types before, Flare. They’re strange ones. No thanks, but I rather stay behind.” Spike said.

“Sounds good, brah!” I nodded. “Well Aqua, it’s time to head out to sea! Can we sing Come Sail Away again?”

“I think once was enough.” Aqua said.

“When did you sing that? I LOVE that song!” Wind Racer complained.

“Gotta love Styx!” I said.

“Wait… who’s Styx? Doesn’t South Park sing it?” Wind Racer asked.

“The sad thing about the classics is that if people hear them and like them, they’re either from a TV show or games like GTA. On YouTube I keep seeing songs with the words ‘GTA brought me here’. C’mon, brahs! If you really liked the music, you would’ve liked them before it hit those games!” I complained.

So I went back to my trailer to get some stuff packed up for our voyage; Aqua and Wind Racer did the same at their house. Aqua studied the map, and we rented a boat. My friend Shadow Hooves let us use his boat so we can head out to the Hoofture entrance. It was stormy and rainy out, and the waves were high.

“Are we getting closer?” I asked Shadow.

“Getting closer, Flare! What are we looking for exactly?” Shadow Hooves asked.

“We’re looking for some sort of structure I assume.” Aqua said. “Might look like an ancient….”

“Oh, you mean like that?” I asked pointing to a lighthouse up ahead that looked ancient.

”Yes, exactly like that lighthouse.” Aqua said.

“What? Oh no, I’m talking about that plane crash next to it that looks like it’s been there for ages.” I pointed out.

“Pull us over there, Shadow.” Aqua pointed.

“Roger that!” Shadow said, driving the boat over to the lighthouse on the island.

“Thanks for the ride, brah!” I said to him.

“Don’t mention it, Flare! Call me if you need me to pick you up.” Shadow said.

“No problemo!” I said, as Aqua, Wind Racer, and I stepped out of the boat and Shadow drives the boat away into the open sea. It was still stormy, and it was pretty slippery as we walked up the stairs to the lighthouse. I slipped quite a few times.

“How is climbing these stairs so easy for you guys?” I asked.

“Maybe because we’re not wearing tentacles like you are.” Wind Racer said and winked at me.

“Good point.” I said, trying to stand back up, but I slipped again, and nearly fell off the stairs. “These tentacles are REALLY hard to control!

“Need some help?” Aqua asked, rolling his eyes.

“No, no, I got it!” I said as I continued climbing up the stairs very uncontrollably, but ironically, I beat them to the top. The three of us walked on inside the lighthouse, and then door slams behind us. “AAAAH! Haunted lighthouse!” I yelled. Just then, the lights turned on, showing a statue of a pony with lion hair, holding a banner that said; ‘No princesses, no gods.’

“No princesses, no gods? Only ponies?” Aqua asked confusingly.

“They probably don’t believe in religion here.” I said. “Last time I was in place where nopony believed in religion was Gamestop.” The three of us walk down more stairs, which made me complain, and we eventually find some sort of pod-like structure at the bottom.

“What is this?” Wind Racer asked.

“Looks like some sort of golden submarine-like thing.” Aqua said as him and Wind Racer walked on inside, but as for me, I completely miss the opening hatch and I just banged my head on the side of the sub.

“OW!” I cried. “C’mon! Walk… straight!” I then just banged my head on the side again. “NO! Stupid legs! Not that straight! Left… left… other left… ok why is one of my legs spinning around my body?”

“Everything ok, Flare?” Wind Racer asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. It’s normal.” I said. After some struggle with my octolegs. I was finally able to enter the sub, but I wacked Aqua in the back of the head while doing so, and then my ink bar starts to go up a bit. “What in the ocean world is that?” I asked as I looked down and saw the ink bar. Aqua looks over behind him and sees a lever. He pulls the lever and the submarine hatch closes and seals up.

“We all live in a yellow submarine. Yellow submarine. Yellow submarine.” Wind Racer sang as the sub pod began to decedent into the ocean.

“Technically, it’s a golden submarine.” I corrected her.

“Gold is a type of yellow though.” Wind Racer reminded me.

“No it’s not.” I corrected her.

“Yes it is.” She argued with me.

“No it’s not, look it up.” I advised her,

“No! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Wind Racer cried as she held her ears.

“Wow, Aqua’s right. You are a bratty teenager.” I said.

“I never said anything like that.” Aqua reminded me.

Just then, the lights in the pod turned off, and a projection screen went down. “Oh cool, they set up a movie for us so we wouldn’t be bored on the way!” Wind Racer said excitedly.

The movie turned on, and a voice came up, and pictures were shown on the screen. “I am Tissue Lion, and I’m here to ask you a question.” The pre-recorded message said. “Is a stallion not entitled to the sweat of his brow? ‘No’, said the pony from Hoofington, ‘It belongs to the poor!’ ‘No!’ says the stallion from Canterlot, ‘It belongs to the princesses!’ ‘No!’ says the stallion from Manehatten, ‘It belongs to everypony!’ I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible! I chose…. Hoofture!” The projector screen goes back up, showing us the huge city that was lit up and based on the ocean floor.

“Whoa!” I said.

”Yeah, it’s a nice city isn’t it!” Wind Racer said.

“No, I’m saying whoa, because that’s a huge whale I see down there.” I said, pointing to the blue whale.

“Wow, this is like Manehatten.” Aqua said shockingly.

“Yeah, but with more fish.” I added. “That reminds me, I should make a song for this trip!” I began to sang, “Up in the bathyspod, taken the surface fog, it’s like Manehatten, but with more fish!”

“Nice song.” Aqua said.

“Work in progress. That’s all I got for now.” I said.

“Hoofture…. Where the artist would not fear the censor; where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality!” Tissue Lion continued in the pre-recording. “Where great would not be constrained by the small, and with the sweat of your brow, Hoofture will become your city as well!”

“Wow, I never thought to own a city like this.” Aqua said. The three of us looked around, and saw how pretty the underwater city was. We saw seaponies swimming by.

“Shoop de doop! Shoop shoop de doop!” Wind Racer sang. The seaponies were swimming around, looked happy, but…. something was a bit odd about them. When admiring the scenery of Hoofture, Aqua looks over at the radio-type device that is stationed right next to the door.

“Hey look, a radio.” Aqua pointed.

“Cool! I wanna hear some country music!” I said as I lifted one of my tentacles so I could turn the knobs but I just smacked Aqua in the back of the head again.

“Ow!” Aqua cried.

“Sorry, brah, lemme just… umm… ok… ok why is my hind tentacles going up, I did not ask for them to go up- WHOA!” I started flying around the pod until my butt was grinding against the radio. “Ok… I guess I could just grind-dance this radio; that works too.” My butt started turning the knobs on the radio next to the door of the bathyspod and we started to hear some static.

“Wait, I think I hear something coming outta the radio.” Aqua said, as we started to hear voices in the radio.

“What? There’s somepony stuck in the radio?” I yelled as I activated my hornsaber. “I’LL RESCUE THEM!”

“Flare, no!” Wind Racer yelled, holding my shoulder.

“Shhh!” Aqua shushed us, as he listened to the voices in the radio.

“We gotta be careful, mate!” an Australian voice said. “He’s sending his strongest bots over here.”

“Dang! What are we gonna do, man?” another voice asked.

“I don’t know, but we have to try anything we can. Try to get to the diving suits so we can get outta here.” The Australian voice said.

“Wait! The charts say a Bathyspod has been activated and is on its way down here.” The second voice said.

“It ain’t safe here, but we’ll need all the help we can get. Hope the pony coming down will know how to help us out.” The Australian voice said.

”Wait! Tissue’s bots found me!” the second voice freaked out.

“Don’t panic! You got your magikids?” the Australian voice asked.

“IT’S TOO LATE! THEY GOT ME! THEY’RE CARRYING ME AWAY…” the second voice cried out, and then the radio gets staticy again.

“Wow, this is like a horror flick!” I said.

“What is going on here?” Wind Racer asked.

”I’m not feeling so good about this.” Aqua said worryingly.

“Relax, Aqua! They must be criminals and are getting themselves arrested. Don’t worry! All we have to do is head to Tissue Lion’s office, and then we’d be all good!” I said.

“For our sake, I hope ya right, mate.” Aqua said as our bathyspod arrives at the Metro Station. Our pod goes inside a small chamber where the ocean water drains, and the doors in front of us open as the pod arrives in the station. We started to hear screaming coming from a pony that was taken by a pair of flying robots.

“That must be the pony that got captured by the bots.” Aqua assumed. Just then, another robot goes on top of the pod we were in, cuts the power, and disconnects the pod from its cable, and the pod falls on the floor. The three of us were frightened after the robot did that.

After the pod’s power goes off, the robot flies away, and the Australian voice appears again from the radio, and it says to us, “Would you please grab the shortwave radio inside your pod?”

“Sure!” I said, but just before I was able grab the radio, Aqua grabbed it first. I’m not sure why, it’s not like Aqua to just grab something after they see somepony else try to grab them.

“Who are ya?” Aqua asked on the radio.

“I’m Atbass.” The Australian voiced pony said. “It was a mistake for you to come here. We’re in the middle of a rebellion.”

“A rebellion?” Aqua asked.

“Yes, but I can’t explain through this radio, they’ll hear us.” Atbass said. “Use the emergency escape switch to open the pods doors, but be careful with the Spicers.”

“Spicers?” Aqua asked.

“Spicers! They carry pepper, ginger, oregano, you name it! Plenty of spices!” I said.

“Spicers are the name of those robots controlled by Lion Industries. I need you to come over here at Bass Barrel, and meet me over there. I’ll explain everything!” Atbass said.

“How about explain right now? We have no idea what’s goin on.” Aqua suggested.

“Would you please come over here to Bass Barrel without question?” Atbass asked.

“Yes, Atbass. Right away.” Aqua said.

“Out.” Atbass said.

“Yeah, the letter didn’t mention anything about a rebellion going on.” Wind Racer said.

“It must be either new or there’s a plot involved.” Aqua assumed.

“Then I say we should get this pod working again, and get the hay outta here!” Wind Racer suggested.

“We have no other choice, sis. Let’s just find this Atbass fella.” Aqua said as he pulled the emergency lever, and the pod’s door open up.

“Aqua, we’re not here for a rebellion. We’re here to look for Tissue Lion, and see what he has in store for us!” Wind Racer said.

“Plans changed.” Aqua said. “I have no idea what’s goin’ on right now, but under no circumstances am I gonna just walk around this strange place without knowing what events are occurin’ right now.”

“Speaking of walking around this place without knowing what’s going on….” Wind Racer said, looking at me, as I start walking out of the Bathyspod so I could explore.

“Ooo! This place looks creepy! The power’s out!” I said. “And yet this place feels so cool to me! I can’t wait to go exploring!”

“Flare, there’s a rebellion going on.” Wind Racer said.

“I know!” I said.

“Why would you walk around a place you never been to before while there’s a rebellion?” Wind Racer asked.

“I can protect myself, Wind Racer.” I said. “Besides, I’m not interested in joining a stupid rebellion.” Just then, as I tried to walk around the bathyspod station to go exploring, my octolegs just suddenly change direction and I suddenly hit a bathyspod schedule chart right beside me. “HEY! I did not ask to go to this direction! Let’s… ugh… GO!” I tried to change direction of my legs to face the exit but instead, my octolegs begin to split and my flank grinding right against the schedule chart. “Ehh, just let me do a little sectional dance. Like the splits I do?” Just then, night club music played in the background as I was split-dancing against the chart.

“I… I don’t think I could undo what I just saw.” Aqua said awkwardly.

“Go ahead, Aqua! I’ll catch up with you later.” I insisted.

“But Flare!” Wind Racer complained.

”Leave ‘em, sis. I got no time to argue with him.” Aqua said.

“But you said it yourself, we have to stick together!” Wind Racer said.

“And ya stickin’ with me, right? So c’mon. No time to waste.” Aqua said as he started walking, and Wind Racer followed him. I looked over, and saw them walking away, and I ran over to them.

“Hey, wait for me!” I called out as I started running (weirdly) towards him.

“Decided to join the party, Flare?” Aqua asked.

“Well, it looks like this is the only path to take. I don’t see any other way out of that station.” I said. As I continued to follow Aqua and Wind Racer I kept mumbling to myself, “Uuuuh… normal pony. Alright… normal pony. Normal every day pony.”

“What are ya talkin’ about?” Aqua asked.

“I’m a normal pony. These octolegs don’t make me any different. I’m normal.” I said.

Eventually, the three of us walked through a creepy corridor with picket signs laying on the ground saying ‘Hoofture is not safe’, ‘Foo on Lion Industries’, ‘He enslaves us all’, etc. “Looks like somepony was on strike.” Wind Racer said, looking on the signs.

“My employees went on strike once. It didn’t last long though.” I said.

A cutaway shows Lyra and Bonnie going on strike, chanting outside my shop yelling; “NO FAIR PAYMENTS! NO FAIR HOURS! NO FAIR PAYMENTS! NO FAIR HOURS!”

I walk outside my shop and say, “What’s going on here?”

“We’re tired of you underpaying us, and giving us unfair hours while you go out and have fun with your friends!” Bonnie yelled.

“We will not take this anymore!” Lyra cried.

“That’s too bad. I got these Hulk gloves for Lyra for being such a great worker, but oh well. I guess she doesn’t want them.” I said, carrying a couple of Hulk gloves.

“GIMMIE!” Lyra cried, grabbing the gloves. “I love the payments you give me, Flare, and the hours! You’re the best boss ever!”

“Thank you, sista!” I said.

“Hulk gloves! They’re like hands, but they’re fists instead, and they make noise!” Lyra said, punching Bonnie in the face with one of the gloves as the glove makes a rawr sound.

“Ow!” Bonnie yelled, holding her face. “I still think your hours and payments are unfair, bossman.” She said to me as Lyra punched her with the hulk gloves again.

“I’ll make sure Lyra doesn’t punch you with those gloves anymore.” I promised.

“Alright, I forgive you.” Bonnie said. The cutaway ends.

“Do you even know where we’re exactly going, Aqua?” Wind Racer asked him.

“Not really, but there should be a map somewhere that’ll tell us where to go.” Aqua said.

“So come on down to Hoofture….” I started singing, but I stopped in the middle because I didn’t know what to sing next. “So come on down to Hoofture…. Uhh….. what should I say next?”

“Don’t care. This is your song.” Wind Racer said.

“I know, but I could use some help. I can give you credit for helping me making it! Maybe this song will be Flare Gun featuring Wind Racer! I can see it now!” I said.

“Y-yeah, thanks, but no thanks.” Wind Racer said.

”You sure? We’ll be famous!” I insisted as I waved my octoarms.

“I’m sure.” Wind Racer said.

“Ok, so we’re here.” Aqua said pointing to a map display.

“We’re in the map?” I asked.

“No, our location is right there; Hoofture Central Station.” Aqua said. “We have to go through the Information Center to get to where we need to go. The Information Center has our entrance to Bass Barrel.”

“Ok but it looks like there’s a Macy’s on the way there.” I pointed as I placed my tentacle on the map on where Macy’s is. “Could we stop there real quick so I could get little gloves for my tentacles?”

“No time for that. We have to find Atbass and fast.” Aqua said.

“So, how we gonna get there?” I asked as I tried to get the tentacle off the map but it was stuck.

“What do you mean?” Aqua asked.

“The door’s locked.” I said, pointing to metal airlock door (with my other tentacle) across the room with a broken switch next to it.

“Oh…. well, I’m sure we can find something.” Aqua said.

“I think we should try short-circuiting the door, maybe that’ll help.” I suggested.

“Ok, but do any of you have any magic spells that can shoot circuit doors?” Wind Racer asked.

“If that door weren’t such a solid metal I’d use my hornsaber or Shoop Da Whoop to break the door open.” I said.

“Shoop shoop de whoop.” Wind Racer sang.

“Nice!” I said.

“So, any of ya got any ideas?” Aqua asked.

“My pappi learned magic in a blink of an eye!” a voice that sounded like a filly’s said in the distance, as carnival music was heard while she was talking. “My pappi knows great magic, and he’s an earth pony! Can light a fire with a clop of his hoof, and shock his bullies just by winking at them! Are you as good as my pappi, mister? Not if you don’t visit the Organizing Orchard you aren’t! Smart pappi’s get spiced at the Orchard!”

“There are fillies here too?” I asked.

“I dunno, but it sounds like the voice is coming out of that machine right there.” Aqua said pointing to a machine with statues of fillies beside it, and there’s a sign on it that says ‘Organizing Orchard’ and there was a canister of some liquid inside the machine.

“Would you please grab that magikid? Drink that stuff, and it’ll give you special powers. No matter if you’re a unicorn, an earth pony, a Pegasus, or even a seapony.” Atbass said from the radio.

“I dunno about this, Aqua. You never drink anything you don’t know about.” Wind Racer reminded him. Just then, Aqua takes his hoof, and grabs the canister from the machine, and opens it. “Aqua? Aqua, what are you doing?”

“Ya heard Atbass. I need to drink this stuff.” Aqua said.

“Aqua, this isn’t like you! What’s going on?” Wind Racer asked. Aqua opens his mouth and drinks the liquid inside the canister.

”How’s it taste?” I asked.

“Tastes like….. I dunno, it has a shockin’ taste.” Aqua said.

“Don’t make puns, brah. That’s my department.” I said.

“FLARE!” Wind Racer yelled.

“WHAT?!” I yelled back.

“Aqua just drank something that he doesn’t know what it is.” Wind Racer said.

“I…. I feel kinda funny.” Aqua said as he held his head and started shaking weirdly.

“I don’t see you laughing.” I said.

“Aqua, are you okay?” Wind Racer asked.

“I dunno…. I feel….. I feel….” Aqua started shaking around as lightning bolts started blazing out of his hooves. He started grunting like he just drank something poisonous.

“Aqua?! AQUA?!” Wind Racer cried. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!” Aqua kept gruntin, but his grunts got louder and louder, and he started holding his head with both of his front hooves, and he started walking towards the railing.

“Keep still, mate. All first-time users of this stuff feel funny after they drink them. It’s the magic starting to flow inside you. Just relax, and everything will be fine!” Atbass said on the radio. But then Aqua leans on the railing, and he falls down a story, passing out on the floor down below.

“AQUA!” Wind Racer and I both yelled as the excitement unsticks my tentacle from the map.

“Oh hey look, I’m free!” I said excitedly.

“Wow, for a first-time user, you handled it worse than the last tourist that came down to Hoofture.” Atbass said from the radio.

”What happened to the last tourist?” I asked.

“Let’s just say, he has a pretty fragile nerve. Knocked over the Organizating Orchard machine, a light post, and threw a trash bin on the glass, and the ocean water started leaking in.” Atbass said.

“Aqua, are you okay? AQUA?!” Wind Racer yelled at Aqua’s unconscious body.

“You two should get out of there.” Atbass said. “I have word that a Big Pappi is heading towards your location.”

“What’s a Big Pappi?” Wind Racer asked.

“A pony in a big metal diver’s suit that protects Little Sissy’s. Trust me, you two should bail!” Atbass warned us.

“I’m not leaving here without Aqua!” Wind Racer cried.

Just then a couple of Spicers showed up and said, “Intruder alert! Intruder alert!” The robots started shooting at us with some sort of stun gun they have build on them.

“Let’s bail.” I said.

“What about Aqua!?” Wind Racer yelled.

“He’ll be fine, we’ll come back for him!” I said. I grabbed Wind Racer’s hoof, and we ran back upstairs, but I had a bit of a problem and banged right into the wall before I was able to turn around. When I regained my direction, Wind Racer and I ran through a corridor until we stopped at another closed airlock.

“It’s an airlock!” Wind Racer yelled.

“I know what it is, dum dum!” I said, glaring at her.

“We can’t just go into the open ocean, we’ll drown!” Wind Racer said.

“Then let’s use those scoopa-diver suits that are hung on the wall right there.” I said, pointing to a couple of scoopa-diver suits.

“Doesn’t seem that we have a choice, do we?” Wind Racer said, putting on a scoopa-diver suit. We had some trouble putting on the suits. The suit felt a bit too big for Wind Racer, and it felt too tight for me, but we didn’t have much of a choice. Had a lot of trouble putting on my helmet. I asked Wind Racer for help, and what she did was slam the helmet on my head. It hurt, but it was successful. Once we got the diver suits on, I opened the airlock, and we headed inside it.

Meanwhile, back with Aqua, he was still past out on the floor. A giant diver’s suit beast starting stomping over to Aqua’s passed out body, and a little yellow filly started walking towards Aqua along side the beast. “Look, Mr. Poppers; a sleeping little devil! Maybe he has some tonsils in him!” the little filly said, but before she could do anything to Aqua, she backed away and said; “Wait a minute, he’s waking up! It’s alright, he’ll be asleep again soon.” The little filly started walking away and the metal beast followed her out.

Aqua started to wake up and he rubbed his head. “Ugh! Feels like a tree crashed into me. What happened? Where’s Racer and Flare?”

“Are you alright, mate? That was some fall you had.” Atbass said on the radio.

“I’m fine.” Aqua said, rubbing his head. “Just have a little headache is all. Where did my friends go?”

“I don’t know, mate. Don’t worry about them. We need YOU.” Atbass said.

”I dunno. Ya think ah should go without my sister and friend?” Aqua asked.

“Would you please?” Atbass asked.

”Alright, sure.” Aqua nodded.

“Use your new magic power to short-circuit the door.” Atbass said.

“Huh? Oh, right.” Aqua said. “How do I work this?”

“Wow, and you’re a unicorn! You’re the last type of pony I’d hear that from!” Atbass complained.

“But the machine said other types of ponies can use these powers too.” Aqua said.

“Just clop your hoof or move it straight forward, and… think about it I guess.” Atbass instructed him.

“Ok….” Aqua said confusingly. Aqua tried stomping his hoof, but nothing happened. He tried moving his hoof forward, but nothing happened; he tried everything he could to try to work his new lightning power, but nothing’s working. Doing all those poses really tired Aqua out. He was panting and catching his breath, but while his tongue was out, it started glowing, and lightning came out of it, and it struck the switch near the door, and the door opened. “Wow. That was odd.”

“Just walk on through, and find your way to Bass Barrel.” Atbass instructed him.

“Ok.” Aqua said, walking inside the aquarium corridor.

Meanwhile, out in the ocean, Wind Racer and I were swimming around, checking out Hoofture from the outside. We saw fish and seaponies swimming by. I even saw an octopus that looked like Octavia, but I didn’t really get why- OOOOOH, I get it! OCTavia! Ha ha ha ha! I get it! That’s funny! I didn’t understand seapony Lyra though.

“AH, I got it! So come on down to Hoofture…” I started singing. “Spill some liquid on your arm! It will slowly corrode your genetical code, but its all part of the charrrrrrrm! That was good! The song’s improving!”

”So where are we exactly going?” Wind Racer asked.

“We’re swimming around the ocean,” I said. “and I gotta say, these octolegs make it REALLY easy to swim! Makes up for my lack of walking expertise.

“I know that, but where in Hoofture are we in?” Wind Racer asked.

“I-D-K, where ever we go, we go.” I said. “Wouldn’t every destination be a journey?”

“Or maybe every journey has a destination.” Wind Racer said.

“Oh c’mon, Wind Racer! Make sense!” I advised her.

“We still need to know what this rebellion is all about.” Wind Racer said.

“You wanna know about the rebellion, huh?” a seapony asked.

“I’M NORMAL!” I yelled at that seapony’s face. “These octolegs mean I’m normal!”

“Of course it’s normal. You’re under the sea right now.” The seapony reminded me.

“Yeah, we want to know about the rebellion. What do you know about?” Wind Racer asked.

“Wind, it’s not polite to ask strangers about their personal business.” I reminded her.

“My name is Carol Reef.” The seapony said.

“Yeah, nopony asked for your name.” I reminded him.

“The rebellion started, because the leader of this city, Tissue Lion, promised us many things, but it turned out he build this city for his own amusement; to enslave seapony kind.” Carol said.

“Oh that’s terrible!” I said.

“Wait! If Tissue Lion is an evil dictator and Aqua is on his way to him, that must mean there’s something fishy going on between this deal.” Wind Racer assumed.

“That’s me, sorry.” Carol said.

“No, not that kind of fishy. I think Aqua is going to run himself into a trap!” Wind Racer said.

“Right! I should go swallow some safety items, just in case.” I said.

“W-what?” Wind Racer looked at me very confusingly.

“We should go warn Aqua!” I said.

“Right! Let’s head back to the Bathyspod station and go tell him!” Wind Racer said.

“Good idea, but I hope he’s awake.” I said.

“I know this city fairly well, let me join you.” Carol insisted.

“Sure!” Wind Racer said.

“What? Don’t I have a say in this?” I asked her. So, the three of us began to swim back to the Bathyspod station to go warn Aqua of what he might run into. Meanwhile, Aqua made his way through the aquarium corridor until he reached some type of lobby. The lobby was leaking though. There was a tiny hole on the ceiling which is causing ocean water to come inside.

“Since the resistance started, parts of Hoofture started leaking. Watch yourself.” Atbass warned him on the radio.

“Thanks.” Aqua said.

“The elevators should still work though, so you can get to the upper floors.” Atbass suggested. Aqua walks over to a glass elevator and pressed the button which caused the elevator to come down, the door opens and Aqua walks inside. The elevator goes up, and Aqua just stood in there as elevator music was playing. Once the elevator went up to the upper levels of the lobby, and he hears somepony singing ‘Hush little baby’.

“Huh? Who’s singin' that?” Aqua asked himself as he looks over and sees a pony singing in a baby carriage.

“You may think that’s a pony singing to her foal, but it’s not like that anymore. Magikids can change a pony, mentally and physically. This pony is paranoid now.” Atbass explained.

“So what do I do?” Aqua asked.

“Give her a slight shock. Once she’s stun, you can run pass by her, and try to get to the restaurant up ahead.” Atbass said.

“Ooook.” Aqua said. “It’s not like ah have a choice.” So Aqua sticks out his tongue and it stuns the mare, and then Aqua runs by the mare, but before he runs into the restaurant, he runs by, and looks inside the foal carriage to sing what the pony was singing to. “Is that a One Direction soundtrack? Wow, that’s sad.” He said as he then runs inside the restaurant and catches his breath.

“Yeah, you don’t have to sting them with your tongue.” Atbass advised him.

“I tried all other ways, they didn’t work.” Aqua said.

“Whatever. There’s more paranoid tourist ponies up ahead. So be careful.” Atbass warned him.

“I read ya loud and clear, thanks.” Aqua said. The restaurant was filled with paranoid stallions and mares on the tables, banging their heads on the plates, and there was a stallion attacking the bartender with a napkin! Yeah, that’s how paranoid they are. Aqua just awkwardly walked right through, minding his own business, feeling pretty freaked out until he runs inside a bathroom, which was pretty clear in there. There was only one stallion inside the restroom, drinking sink water, and pouring some of the foam soap on his face, pretending he’s shaving. There was a big hole on the bathroom wall which led to another room. He looked out the window and saw a few paranoid seaponies outside that were whipping each other with seaweed. One of the seaponies fell on the ground, holding their noses in pain. Aqua was pretty scared because he thought he was going to be turning into one of them since he had a magikid before. He tried to calm is sanity just by ignoring it all, but he felt that he needed to be away from them. So he decided to look for an empty room so he can rest and make sure he doesn’t become insane.

Meanwhile, Wind Racer and I walked back to where we left Aqua before, and we searched the whole area, but Aqua was nowhere to be found. “Where did Aqua go?” Wind Racer asked.

“He must’ve woke up and went on.” I assumed. “But I have a better question. What is this contraption on my neck?” On my neck was one of those plastic six-pack rings. It got stuck there when we were still outside.

“I hope he isn’t going over to Tissue Lion.” Wind Racer said. “Wait no, he said he was looking for this Atbass fella.”

“How do you even know if ANY of these ponies can be trusted?” I asked.

“I can hear you, you know.” Carol said, crawling next to me with a helmet on full of water.

“You seem to be sane, Carol. How did you keep your sanity while most of these ponies became paranoid?” I asked.

“I never trusted those magikids! They drive a pony insane!” Carol said.

”Shoop shoop de doop!” Wind Racer sang.

“Will you quit singing that?” Carol asked.

“I thought you seaponies liked that song?” Wind Racer asked.

“We used to, but it got really annoying. I blog all the time, and every time I post pictures, all anypony says these days are ‘Shoop de doop’, like we’re from Generation 3 or something.” Carol said.

“I know how it feels. You should’ve seen my marefriend Pinkie when she had a G3 face. I couldn’t sleep for days! I felt paranoid, and I never had a magikid yet!” I said.

“C’mon! We have to look for Aqua!” Wind Racer said.

“We’ve been here for 30 minutes and nopony sang ‘Under the Sea’ yet. I am disappointed.” I complained as we walked into the aquarium corridor.

“Would it make you feel better if I sang it?” Carol asked.

“No, I want somepony to sing the song without me asking.” I said. So the three of us continued walking down the corridors so we could look for Aqua. “Normal! I’m normal! NORMAL!” I yelled. “I’M NORMAL!”

Meanwhile, Aqua made it to the Information Center, but before he was walking downstairs, he saw a little fill, putting a funnel type device on a past-out stallion’s mouth.

“Uhh, Atbass?” Aqua said through the radio.

“Yes, Aqua?” Atbass said.

“What is that filly doin’ with that stallion?” Aqua asked cautiously.

“You may think that’s a filly, but it’s actually not. She’s a Little Sissy now.” Atbass said.

“A what?” Aqua asked.

“A Little Sissy.” Atbass repeated. “She gathers pony tonsils.”

“Uhhh, why?” Aqua asked.

“Tonsils can be used as very useful resources to make sure the magikids stay working, and makes them tasty.” Atbass explained. “These Little Sissies keep the wheels of Hoofture turning. But…. Be careful if you go near them.”

“I am almost afraid to say why.” Aqua said.

“You’ll find out in a second.” Atbass said. Just then, a paranoid stallion starts sneaking over towards the Little Sissy as the Little Sissy was using the funnel-vacuum cleaner device she has to try to gather the tonsils from the past-out stallion.

“Mr. Poppers, Mr. Poppers.” The Sissy starts singing. “Are you there? Are you there? I wanna get some tonsils, then go out for ice cream. Teddy bears…. Teddy bears.” The paranoid stallion was about to grab the Little Sissy, but then the Sissy starts screaming, and a giant diver-suited beast comes in, and tackles the paranoid stallion. The beast beats up the stallion, and stars float around the stallions head, and he passes out. The Little Sissy starts running away and the beast follows her out.

“THAT’S the Big Pappi! The Sissy gathers tonsils, and the Pappi keeps her safe.” Atbass explained.

“This is tense.” Aqua said. “I ain’t gettin’ near one of those beasts.”

“As long as you stay away from the Little Sissies, you should be fine. The Big Pappi only bothers those who go near the Little Sissies.” Atbass said.

“Well, don’t worry. Gettin’ near those sissies is the least of my concern.” Aqua said.

“You seem calm.” Atbass pointed out.

“I’m not one to bein’ excited.” Aqua said.

“Even in situations like this?” Atbass asked.

“I’ve seen more things to freak out than this. Ya being me would be the only way ya’d understand.” Aqua said as he walked down the stairs and walking towards an airlock.

“You’ll need a diver’s suit to reach Bass Barrel. The only way through is through the water. The aquarium corridor got leaked out, so you’ll have to swim.” Atbass said.

“Ehh, I ain’t afraid of no water.” Aqua said, trying to put on one of the diver suits near the airlock. Aqua opens the airlock and walks inside.

Back with Carol Reef, Wind Racer, and I, we trot around the aquarium corridor, and I continue singing. “So you’re a paranoid freak of nature, but in time you’re gonna beeeeee, bzz bzz! So glad you came on down, to the best little town, at the bottom of the deep-blue sea!”

“You’re improving on the song, Flare! I like your originality!” Wind Racer said.

“Thanks!” I said as my tentacles and crazy walking style kept knocking over Just then, we see a couple of seaponies outside that are fighting over a coral dog, and then one of them picks up a giant rock and throws it at the seapony, but misses, and it hits the aquarium glass, causing it to leak.

“SWEET LUNA!” Wind Racer yelled.

”Oh heeeeeeey! You said Luna!” I said excitedly. “Now I don’t have to change anything in the past! If I ever did though, I don’t remember.”

“By the looks of how these seaponies are acting, Hoofture won’t last long by the looks of things.” Carol said.

“Well, it’s a good thing I swallowed some water safety equipment just in case these leaks occurred.” I said. I start choking and I cough up a life jacket. “Here, Wind. You might need this.”

“What do I need a life jacket for?” Wind Racer asked.

“In any water leakage situation, you should always have a life jacket on.” I explained.

“Y-yeah, I don’t think it works like that when we’re miles under the water.” Wind Racer said.

“We won’t be able to make it to the Information Center from here. The water is leaking like crazy!” Carol said. “Quick! Get into the airlock that leads into the Medical Center.” Carol hops on my back and Wind starts running towards the airlock that leads into the city hospital. I dunno why Carol decided to go on my back the way I’m having difficult control with my tentacles, knocking everything over.

“NORMAL! I’M NORMAL!” I cried as I accidently wacked a paranoid pony.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” the paranoid pony complained.

“Sorry! I’m normal!” I said.

Meanwhile, when Aqua went inside his airlock, the lights went off and a projector screen went on, and it showed Tissue Lion on it. “Well, well, well! What do we have here?” Tissue Lion said to Aqua.

“Are ya Tissue Lion?” Aqua asked.

“I could be, or maybe I’m not. It depends. Who are you?! What are you doing here?!” Tissue asked.

“I’m Aquatic Armor. Ya gave me a letter sayin’ I should come here, and split the finances with ya.” Aqua said.

“WHAT?! I did no such thing! This is a plot I tell you! Or…. Maybe you’re lying to me! You want my riches! Well, you greedy son of a gun, I won’t stand by to see you mess things up for me! This is my city! I chose the impossible! You should turn back while you still have a chance.” Tissue said. Then the projector screen turned off, and the airlock opened, and water poured inside.

“Now you seen the one responsible for all this. Tissue Lion…. He runs Hoofture with an iron hoof! This is why we need you in the resistance. We have to take down Tissue Lion!” Atbass said on the radio.

“Well…. If ya say so.” Aqua said.

“I know so, Aqua. Now, head over to Bass Barrel. Should be just straight ahead. Meet us there.” Atbass said.

“Ok.” Aqua swam through the sea, seeing seaponies doing weird stuff, some are violent, and some are just….. plain creepy, and he was on his way to Bass Barrel.

Meanwhile, Wind Racer, Carol, and I made it to the hospital. “Alright, so what do we need to do, Carol?” Wind Racer asked.

“Get to the bathyspod room. We can take a shortcut to Bass Barrel from Park Place.” Carol said.

“Oh great! Now we’re playing Monopoly.” I complained.

“Wait…. You hear that?” Wind Racer asked, hearing a stomping noise from the distance.

“Big Pappi! We need to hide!” Carol said.

“Where is there to hide?” I asked.

“Behind the reception desk!” Wind Racer pointed. So we hid behind the reception desk of the hospital lobby.

“Ooook if I could juuuuuust get up here! Ebbeh Debbeh!” I struggled to get behind the desk. “EBBEH DEBBEH! GAAAAAAH!” After all the trouble I went through, Wind Racer just pulled me back there behind the desk along with her and Carol right before the Little Sissy come inside along with her Big Pappi guardian, and the Little Sissy walks over to a past-out stallion near a Carnival of Values machine and uses her vacuum to get his tonsils out.

“Oh! I got more of the song!” I said, and then I started singing; “Aquatic nightmare drones, are known to freely roam, with little sissies that require their help!”

“FLARE! Shhh!” Wind Racer shushed me, but I continued singing.

“I mean to tell you plainly missy, if that thing there was my sissy, I believe I would drown myself! Mraaaawwwwah!” I sang.

“Mr. Poppers, I think I hear devils singing!” the Little Sissy said.

“Mr. Poppers? Like Mr. Poppers penguins?” I asked, elbowing Wind Racer. Wind Racer just facehooved herself and shook her head.

Meanwhile back with Aqua, he swam over to Bass Barrel and opened the airlock. He walked inside, tried to avoid any paranoid ponies, or Little Sissies along the way. “Ok, Atbass; I’m in.” Aqua said on the radio.

“Perfect! You have to get to the Snuggling Hideout. You’ll meet us there.” Atbass instructed him.

”And where is this Smuggin’ Hideout?” Aqua asked.

“Just look for the freezer section of Bass Barrel, and go through the tunnels.” Atbass said.

“Sounds good. I’ll meet ya there.” Aqua said.

“I got a suggestion for you. If you see any of Lion’s robots anywhere, just shock them with your lightning, and they’ll be stunned for a few seconds. Should give you a chance to run by.” Atbass suggested.

“Understood, mate.” Aqua nodded. Aqua made his way through Bass Barrel, nearly running into trouble with a Big Pappi, and he found his way into the freezer section. Lots of frozen leakage was all over the place, and the room was pretty slippery for him. Aqua slipped, fell down some stairs, and made his way to another part of the freezer where there was a hole in the wall. Aqua thought this might’ve been the hole that led into the Smuggling Hideout where the Resistance are held. “I wonder if Flare and Racer are doin’ alright.” He said to himself.

Just then, I was facing one of Lion’s security cameras, putting my face really close to it and shouted, “Hello? Hello?” I knocked on the camera lends. “Can you hear me? Hello? I wanna hear some polka music. You got any polka music?” The camera went staticy, and it went back with me chanting; “POLKA, POLKA, POLKA!” Then I went into a Spanish accent. “Rico-soave! Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” Then I started begging. “PLEASE PLAY SOME POLKA MUSIC! PLEEEEEASE?! I WANNA HEAR POLKA MUSIC!” Then I started crying, and after the camera went staticy again, I said; “Hi, remember me? I wanna hear some POLKA MUSIC! Well…. If you can’t play some polka music, umm…. Play something by Queen. Oh yeah! I got it! Play Queen…. Doing some Polka music! That’s what I wanna hear! Play it! PLAY IT!”

“FLARE! Will you calm down!” Wind Racer yelled.

I faced away from the camera and said, “Sorry, Racer, but I couldn’t help it. These cameras are all looking at us and I had to do something entertaining.” I said as I waved my tentacles around and accidently whipped Racer in the lower-back.

“HEY!” Racer yelled as her face turned red.

“Sorry ‘bout that. These tentacles are everywhere. Shmack.” I said as I smacked Carol in the flank.

“HEY!” Carol cried.

“It’s ok if I do it to a stallion.” I said.

“I’M A GIRL!” Carol yelled.

“Oh woops.” I blushed in embarrassment. “Isn’t Carl a boy’s name?”

“It’s Carol, not Carl!” Carol corrected me.

“Really? They both sound alike to me.” I said.

“Wow, look at all these slot machines around this place.” Wind Racer observed the area we were in. “I promised myself I wouldn’t go near a casino again.”

“This place is Fort Trotlic. Full of shops, clubs, shows, bars, you name it!” Carol explained.

“If I can name it, is there a crazy psycho-path, artist that looks into too much of his work too seriously?” I asked.

“Actually….” Carol started.

“Well, hello there, little moths!” a voice from the background said. “My name is Stone Note, and it is a pleasure seeing some new bright and shinny faces around here!”

“Excuse me?” Wind Racer said, feeling confused on what is going on.

“It’s Stone Note!” Carol said. “We should get outta here!”

“Not so fast!” Stone Note said as the doors leading to the exit close shut.

“We’re trapped! We’re gonna be pasted statues for sure!” Carol panicked.

“Now, now, I won’t turn you into pasted statues.” Stone Note said.

“See? He’s not gonna turn us into pasted statues! We’re all good!” I said.

“IF you do me one favor.” Stone Note added.

“Oh you see? We always get tricked by that IF.” I complained. Back with Aqua, he was walking inside the smuggling tunnels, using his lightning to disable any of Lion’s machinery along the way, and once he reached the rebel outpost, nopony was there.

“Uhhh….” Aqua was very confused.

“Aquatic! Come in Aquatic! Do you read?” Atbass said on the radio.

“Aquatic here, where are ya mates?” Aqua asked.

“Plans changed. Lion’s bots found us! We’re moving on. We have to capture Tissue Lion. We’re heading over there now. Would you please catch up with us as quickly as possible?” Atbass said.

“Understood.” Aqua nodded.

“Not so fast.” Tissue Lion said on the radio. “You seem like a fascinating pony, but I will not allow you to join Atbass and his little resistance. They’re not as they seem.”

“All I know is, ya treat Hoofture like it’s ya little dollhouse, and we’re gonna end this.” Aqua said.

“Not today. I build Hoofture to choose the impossible, and Atbass will not stand in my way. So…. Would you please stay still, and allow my bots to capture you?” Lion asked.

“O….ok.” Aqua agreed as he lowered his guard. A few of Lion’s bots came by, and surrounded Aqua. They knocked him out and took him over to Lion’s office.

Back with Wind Racer, Carol, and I over at Fort Trotlic, I just finished up hanging some pictures on the wall on the stage. “There. We took some pictures of some passed out ponies and a couple of Big Pappis doing a few dances. Can we go now?” I asked.

“It’s…. beautiful!” Stone Note commented about the pictures.

“Glad you like it. We have places to be, you know.” I complained.

“What’s that? Oh you don’t like it don’t you? I don’t need to be judged by you!” Stone Note angrily said.

“We could care less about your art! We have to find our friend and warn him what he’s up against!” I yelled as I smack Carol on her behind again. “Shmack!”

“Quit doing that!” Carol complained. “It’s not polite! I’ll sue ya!”

“I can’t control these tentacles.” I said, giving her a false excuse.

“FORGET YOU! FORGET ALL YOU DOUBTERS! HERE’S WHAT I SAY TO ALL OF YOU!” Stone Note yelled in rage.

“Now you done it, Flare.” Wind Racer glared at me and said.

“What? Freedom of speech is against the law here in Hoofture?” I asked.

Just then, Waltz of the Flowers started playing in the room and Stone yelled; “Fly away little moths! FLY!” Just then, lots of paranoid ponies bursted into the room, and started attacking us. Wind Racer, Carol, and I had to defend ourselves against the incoming horde of ponies. We fought them, had some trouble, but we managed.

Back with Aqua, he wakes up, all tied up on a chair in Tissue Lion’s office and he starts moaning, “Ugh! Oh, where am I?”

“Ah, my friend! You are awake! I’ve been expecting you!” Tissue Lion said, using his mini-golf course in his office.

"Tissue Lion?" Aqua asked.

"Yes, Aqua." Tissue said. "Tell me, Aqua.... what is the difference between a pony and a slave?"

"Uhh.... I don't follow." Aqua said.

"Is one superior than the other? One have more dignity? No.... a pony chooses...... a slave obeys." Tissue said. Aqua just sat there, tilting his head in confusion. "You don't need those anymore." he said, as one of his robots untied Aqua. "I bet you know of a familiar sounding phrase..... 'Would you please?'"

"Would you please?" Aqua repeated.

"I'm sure you heard it before, by many ponies." Tissue said. Aqua started thinking and something popped in his head. He did hear the phrase 'would you please' many times in his life, by many ponies he knows, including me because I said it to him in the beginning of the chapter. That's the only reason he let me go with him; that's the only reason he listened to Atbass in the first place! "SIT, would you please?" Tissue demanded to Aqua, and Aqua sat down. "Stand, would you please?" he said, and Aqua did as he said. "Run.... stop..... turn....." Aqua did as he asked.

"I think I know what's goin on here! Stop controlling me!" Aqua yelled for the very first time in forever. Ok, I think he yelled before, but just barely.

"A stallion chooses..... a slave obeys." Tissue said. Aqua started getting very nervous. Back with Wind Racer, Carol, and I, we just finished facing off the attacking paranoid ponies as the waltz song in the background ended.

"I am terribly sorry about that." Stone Spark said. "An artist has a temper when it comes to his work."

"Yeah, well.... tell that to the Fimfiction.” I complained.

"I understand, but let me get a good look at my prizes." Stone said. A drumroll started playing in the background, and searchlights faced the door on top of the stairs. The doors slammed open and water started bursting in. Wind Racer and I quickly placed our helmets back on our heads, even though I prefer flank, and after the room was flooded, a gray seapony with shades on and he looked like some sort of artist started swimming down the stairs. Applause from an audience was heard in the background, even though there wasn't any audience around. Everything in this town looks post-World Party II era, so I didn’t think a pre-recorded applause machine was contained in this place. "It's beautiful!" Stone Spark said as fireworks started booming around him as he swam down the stairs.

"How do fireworks work under water?” Wind Racer commented.

"Thank you for helping me complete my collection!" Stone said.

"No problemo, brah! Now can you open the bathypods that leads to Park Place?" Wind Racer asked.

"But of course, young filly! Please, come back anytime!" Stone suggested.

"Of course we’ll come back! No problem! I love attacking paranoid ponies and running errends from a fool who doesn’t take criticism.” I said sarcastically.

“Nice sarcasm.” Wind Racer whispered to me.

“That was sarcasum? I thought I was just joking?” I whispered back.

"Hey, at least he didn't turn us into paste statues." Carol said as the three of us began to swam away, but on the way out of Fort Trollic, we find some device of some sort with a giant sign that says ‘I-Invent’ on top of it. “Hey, look!” Carol pointed to the machine.

“What is that?” I asked.

“It’s an I-Invent machine. You can use it to scramble items together, and it can make something pretty useful for the road ahead.” Carol explained.

“I didn’t think there were roads in the ocean.” I said.

“Perfect! We can make some sort of weapon so we can defend ourselves easier.” Wind Racer suggested, swimming over to the machine.

“You go ahead, I have my magic to keep me safe.” I said as I tapped on my horn. As Wind Racer used the junk she collected when she was around Hoofture, she put them in the machine and started to make something. Meanwhile, I continued to add to my song, “Try out the I-Invent, it doesn’t cost a cent! You’re gonna love to mix and match! Just steal some glue from evil red pony, and a screw from smelly fat pony, and you… made some junk from scratch!”

“Got it! I made some sort of crossbow.” Wind Racer said.

“A crossbow out of screws, glues, and some broken coffee table debris?” I asked.

Wind Racer aimed the crossbow at Stone Note and shot him with it. “It works!”

“Wind?! Why did you do that?!” I yelled.

“Relax! It uses tranquilizer darts. He’ll be up on his hooves in no time.” Wind Racer said. I had the feeling she was just saying that because I don’t allow death in this story, but she actually said that to me. Whether she was serious or not is something I have no clue about.

“I hope you knew what you were doing when you made that thing, Wind Racer.” Carol hoped as the three of us went into the bathyspod in the bathyspod chamber.

Wind Racer looked at the controls and then found out, "Wait! This pod can take us to Lion Industries! We can go straight to him!" Wind Racer suggested.

"Hopefully it's not too late." I said. So we took the bathyspod all the way over to the capital of the city.

Meanwhile, back in Lion’s office, Lion wanted to give Aqua a test. “Now Aqua, I will give you a test.” Tissue said, giving him a piece of paper. “Prove that you are a pony and not a slave, and sign this contract!”

“What is it?” Aqua asked.

“You’ll be in complete control of this city.” Tissue said.

“What? But…. I don’t want to.” Aqua said.

“Then prove that you won’t. Prove that you can stand-up to your masters, and be free!” Tissue said. “Now….. would you please sign this contract?” Aqua started struggling not to sign that contract, but he gets triggered by that phrase. He grabs the pen, but he tries his best not to sign it. Tissue just stands there and waits to see if Aqua can stand up to him.

Meanwhile at Park Place, Atbass and his fellow troops started marching on to Tissue Industries which was just behind an airlock door. Park Place was one of the places in the city that has living plants. These plants are the only ways to keep the surface ponies alive if they’re down here. “Onward, troops! We must bring an end to this, and take over Hoofture, and bring freedom!” Atbass cried as the soldiers started chanting and started marching over to the airlock. Carol, Wind Racer, and I were peeking over at them.

“So, Aqua’s not with them.” I said.

“Are we too early, or too late?” Wind Racer asked.

“I don’t know, but we should keep a low profile, and see if Aqua joins the group.” Carol said.

“So you’re stuck awhile in Hoofture, and politically it’s…. tense!” I sang. “Libertarians scream, it’s a horrid movie dream, and brah I mean soakin; I’m not even jokin don’t you know, the locals love the lifestyle, and watch ‘em scale the walls with gleeeeeee, so glad you came on down to the best little town at the bottom of the deep blue sea!” As I sang, we followed the resistance all the way to Lion Industries.

Back with Aqua and Tissue, Aqua was still struggling to not sign the contract, but Tissue wasn’t being fair, and he pressured him. “What would your parents think, Aqua? What would your father think of his own son wouldn’t continue his timeshare?” Tissue asked.

“Ya right, Tissue.” Aqua said as he signed the contract without hesitation.

“You…. You signed it.” Tissue said in shock. “HA! You’re such a fool, Aquatic Armor!”

“Oh shoot.” Aqua said, knowing he did something wrong.

“You fell for my little trick Aqua! Now you’re in control of this city!” Tissue said.

“That’s no trick, I knew that!” Aqua said.

“Yeah, but what you don’t know is that this city never belonged to your family!” Tissue said.

“What?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah, I just needed a fool to replace me as the leader of this city, and you know what? You’re that fool that fit the bill! A pony that doesn’t even know his own family and thinks his family actually owns a city like this; even though they lived in a modern-time village, not knowing of this technology!” Tissue said.

“Then where did this ‘Would you please’ thing come from?” Aqua asked.

“Your village was a slave village. They had to respond to that phrase in order to take orders. Your village folk were those type of folk that couldn’t take kindly to orders, so we need to improvise!” Tissue said.

“I… can’t believe I fell for that.” Aqua said upsettingly. “What about my sister?”

“I… didn’t know you had a sister. Our records indicated you were an only child.” Tissue said.

“So… Wind Racer is safe then. She’s not a slave. Perhaps that’s why my parent’s hid her from the authorities when they came by. It’s all comin’ back to me now.” Aqua said.

“HA! Now that you’re in charge, the resistance will be after you now, and not me! I’m free, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” Tissue taunted at him.

“Maybe not, but why would ya do this?” Aqua asked. “Ya throwin’ ya creativity and lifestyle away for something new. It seems like an idiotic thing if ya ask me. No offense though.”

“But Aqua, don’t you know how tough and exhausting it is to build a city like this?” Tissue asked as he grabbed Aqua’s armor and yelled to his face, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE…. TO RUN THE SAME CITY FOR 5 DECADES?!” Tissue calmly let go of Aqua and said, “I didn’t want to be a city leader anyway. I wanted to be a lumberjack. Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of Everfree Forest! The giant redwood, the larch, the fir, the mighty scots pine!” Just then, Tissue walks over to an area of the room with pine trees in the background, and he takes off his coat revealing a lumberjack shirt, and a choir was playing in the background. “The smell of fresh-cut timber! The crash of mighty trees! With my best girlie by my side!” A filly with blonde curly hair that looks like a southwestern girl shows up, and Tissue puts his arm around her. “We’d sing…. Sing…. Sing!”

“I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok; I sleep all night, I work all day!” Tissue sang.

“He’s a lumberjack and he’s ok; he sleeps all night, and he works all day!” the park ranger choir sang.

“I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lava-tree.” Tissue sang. “On Wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea!”

“He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lava-tree!” the park ranger choir sang. “On Wednesdays he goes shopping; and have buttered scones for tea! He’s a lumberjack and he’s ok; he sleeps all night and he works all day!”

“I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers!” Tissue sang. “I put on filly’s clothing, and hang around in bars!” The mare next to him starts getting a little unconfused of why he sang that last part.

“He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wild flowers!” the park rangers sang. “He puts on filly’s clothing, and hang… around in bars?” the mounties all look at eachother with weird looks, and then they sang normally, “He’s a lumberjack and he’s ok; he sleeps all night, and he works all day!”

“I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra!” Tissue sang as the girl next to him starts crying. “I wish I’d been all girlie, just like my dear mama!”

“He cuts down trees, he wears high heels, suspenders and a… bra?” the choir just glares at Tissue with disgusting looks, and they walk away.

“I wish I’d been all girlie, just like my deeeeeaaaar mamaaaaaaa!” Tissue concluded the song.

The girl continues crying and says, “OH, TISSUE; AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO RUGGED!” She runs away crying and Tissue just has a confused look on his face thinking what everypony’s problem was. Aqua was freaking out; he was really scared. Carol, Wind Racer, and I continued to follow the resistance until we finally we nearly reached Tissue Lion’s office. When the resistance stopped to take a break, we decided to go on ahead of them. We finally reached Tissue Lion’s office and Wind knocked on the door. Aqua got scared and took the coat rack in his office and held it near the door to defend himself. Tissue Lion wasn’t in the room anymore though either; he escaped.

“Who’s there? Please begone. Tissue Lion has left the building.” Aqua said nervously.

“You said it wrong.” I said from the other side. “You’re supposed to say that with enthusiasm – TISSUE LION HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! HA-HAAA!”

“Aqua?” Wind Racer said from the other side.

“Wind Racer?” Aqua said, lowering the coat rack. Aqua opened the door and saw us. “Wind Racer!” Aqua gave Wind a big hug in relief.

“And Flare, how about me? Where’s my hug?” I asked.

“I feel so relieved that ya here!” Aqua said in relief.

“We’re here, you ol bastage! What’s wrong?” Wind Racer asked.

“It was true, this was all a trick. This city does not belong to our family. Tissue Lion used me to free himself from hard work, and the resistance.” Aqua explained.

“That’s terrible!” Carol yelled.

“Uhh, who’s that?” Aqua asked.

“That’s Carol, one of the only sane seaponies left.” I said. “Carol meet our friend Aqua!”

“Pleasure to meet you!” Carol said, holding his fin out.

“Likewise!” Aqua said, shaking her fin.

“Also I’m not that sane. I’m afraid of shadows.” Carol said.

“I guess we’re not taking her with us on Shadow Hooves’ boat ride.” I whispered to Wind Racer.

“How did this happen, Aqua?” Wind Racer asked.

“I found out I was a slave.” Aqua said.

“Hey, you’re not the only slave around here, brah!” I said. “I’m a slave to my XBUCKS!” A cutaway shows me cleaning up a toilet in my house, and as I was tired, my XBUCKS game console went inside and whipped me.

“BACK TO WORK!” my XBUCKS demanded.

“Yes, master.” I said, continuing to clean the toilet. The cutaway ends.

“This is different. I’m forced to do whatever anypony says if they say the words ‘Would ya please’?” Aqua said.

“Seriously?” Wind Racer asked.

“It’s true, sis.” Aqua said, then Aqua just looked at me.

“What?” I asked.

“I thought ya were gonna say that phrase to me, and make me do whatever ya say?” Aqua asked.

“Look, I make jokes all the time, but I ain’t forcing you to do anything! That’s just wrong!” I said.

“Oh… ok.” Aqua said.

“Would you please pick your nose?” I asked, giving him a mischievous look. Aqua did so. “Now would you please jump up and down in one foot yelling ‘I EAT PSYCHE’S BOXERS FOR BREAKFAST!’” Aqua did so.

“FLARE STOP IT!” Wind Racer yelled.

“LAWL! Alright, fine. Would you please stop, Aqua?” I asked while chuckling and Aqua stopped.

”Don’t do that!” Aqua complained.

“I’m sorry, brah!” I laughed. “But THAT was totally worth it!”

“Wait… how are you a slave, Aqua?” Wind Racer asked.

“Our village was a slave village. We were all slaves to the high authorities. I don’t know why though. There’s little I remembered before we left our village. I remembered our families, all the good times we had, but I forgot all about the authorities.” Aqua explained.

“Am I a slave too?” Wind Racer asked.

“No, ya were hidden from the authorities when ya were younger. Ya are safe, sis.” Aqua said.

“But wait… I didn’t remember anything because I was young, but how did you forget?” Wind Racer asked.

“I don’t know.” Aqua said. “But I have a hunch that the ‘would ya please’ quote was used to our advantage. I don’t know for sure though, but that is my highest theory.”

“Where is Tissue Lion anyway?” Carol asked.

“He fled. He used his private bathyspod to return to the surface.” Aqua said.

“GREAT! What are we gonna do now?” Wind Racer asked.

“I dunno. The only thing we can do is stop the resistance. I’m doomed, there’s nothing I can do, sis. I’m sorry.” Aqua said.

“We’ll find a way out of this, Aqua, I promise!” Wind Racer said.

“If any of ya got a plan…” Aqua started. I was about to say something, but Aqua stopped me. “A SERIOUS plan, no jokes… to help find me a way out of this, then go right ahead.”

“Just rip up the contract you signed, duh!” I suggested.

”I tried, but this contract is completely indestructible.” Aqua said, holding the contract. “I tried rippin’ it, drillin’ it, firin’ it at, even made it listen to a One Direction song (I dunno why I took it from that foal carriage), but nothin’ happened.” I then suddenly tried using my hornsaber, my laser blast, my rail-blast, and my SHOOP to try to tear up the contract, but it was still in one piece. “I tried tellin ya, Flare.”

“WE GOTTA GET YOU OUTTA HERE, AQUA! I mean, it’s cool that you run a city now and all, but you’re needed back home in Ponyville!” I yelled.

“What else am I supposed to do though?” Aqua asked.

“Guys, I think I found something.” Carol said, looking at the contract.

“Please, tell me it’s a way out of it.” Aqua begged.

“If another pony signs this contract, they’ll be the ones to run the city instead of you.” Carol said.

“Oh if only Tissue Lion were here.” Aqua said.

“More like Tissue Lyin!” I said, rolling my eyes. “And I’m not just making a pun, it’s what he is. Thought it was a clever name for him.”

”How about Atbass?” Wind Racer suggested.

“What about him?” Aqua asked.

”HE’S the one that kinda got you in this mess in the first place! I say he should be the one to sign it.” Wind Racer suggested.

Aqua smiled. “Wind Racer, ya are a genius! Go capture Atbass and get him to sign this contract!”

“I don’t think we’ll have a problem finding him.” I said, looking out the window, and seeing Atbass’s resistance coming this way.

“Crud! It’s the resistance!” Carol said.

“Wait… didn’t Atbass say he wanted to take over this city?” Wind Racer asked.

“And there’s this Atbass Joe, right on your radio, and he’ll give you helpful hints and such.” I sang. “I bet you’ll do his biding with a tease, if he utters ‘Would you please’, and OOOOOH I said too much!”

“Flare, now is not the time to work on ya song. My life is at stake here.” Aqua reminded me.

“I hope that stake is medium rare.” I teased. He sighs and shakes his head.

“Alright, alright! I think I got an idea.” I said. Just then, the resistance kicked office door opened, and bursted inside. Just then, I tied Atbass all up with my tentacles and squeezed him tight. “DON’T MOVE, OR YOUR LEADER GETS IT!” I yelled at his troops.

“WHAT THE BLOODY H IS GOING ON?!” Atbass yelled.

“You wanna take over this city, right?” I asked.

“Of course I do, you fool!” Atbass yelled.

“Well, all you have to do is sign this contract.” I said.

“Yeah, right. I know all about these contracts. Lion’s contracts always have a trickery in them.” Atbass said.

“Tissue Lion isn’t here anymore, Atbass. I’m in charge now.” Aqua said.

“GOOD! I guess we’re thirsting for your blood, mate!” Atbass yelled.

“Atbass, would you please tell us the truth?” I asked.

“No! You know the phrase! I…. I must obey!” Atbass said.

“Wait, what?” Aqua asked. “How did ya know that phrase would work on him, Flare?”

”To be honest, it was just a guess. So this dude comes from your village Aqua. He’s a slave too!” I said.

“So he is.” Aqua said.

“My name isn’t Atbass, my name is Ray Promenade.” Atbass said.

“Just like in Bioshock. All these events remind me of Bioshock.” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s not just a coincidence.”

“Look…. Lion Industries and Promenade Corp used to work together, until changes happened when the magikids started effecting the citizens of this town.” Ray said. “Just then, I knew Lion did a terrible job running this town, and I knew he enslaved all! So I changed my name and I wanted to take over!”

“Bro, there’s always somepony out there to trick you, but our moral is, you can’t always trust a pony, even if their family crest is on it.” I said. “If you just did your research and trust your friends to help you get out of a situation, then it’s no problem to ask. No need to fight, just talk it out.”

“Wow, there’s a friendship lesson in all this? Never realized that.” Carol said.

“I get your point.” Ray said.

“Tissue didn’t want to be leader anymore anyway. I don’t think Tissue thought you just wanted his city; I think he thought you were gonna kill him.” Wind Racer said.

“We didn’t.” Ray said. “We just wanted to teach him a lesson, and take over the city ourselves.”

“Then do so.” Aqua said, giving Ray the contract. “Just sign this contract, and the city is yours. Just make sure you’re fair.”

“Thank you, Aqua.” Ray said, signing the contract.

“Now everypony is happy!” Carol said.

Just then, Ray started to chuckle weirdly. “Uhh, are you alright, Ray?” Wind Racer asked.

“I’ve never been better!” Ray said with a mischievous look.

“Oh what now?” I complained, face-tentacling myself.

“HA! Now I tricked you! Tissue Lion wasn’t being unfair! I just said that so I can take over the city myself! I’M THE ONE WHO MADE THE MAGIKIDS IN THE FIRST PLACE!” Ray said.

“Oooooh, didn’t see that coming.” I said.

“Now Hoofture is mine, and every one of you will now do what I say! Because nopony is signing any contract!” Ray laughed evilly, putting the contract inside a safe, and throwing it out in the open sea, and it drops into an ocean geyser. “Now I will be in charge forever!”

“I seriously don’t have time for this.” I said with an annoyed tone, taking out a Little Sissy from inside my vest and all the resistance members gasped.

“Is that a Little Sissy with ya, Flare?” Aqua asked in surprise.

“HOW DID YOU GET ONE?!” Carol yelled.

“I just asked if she wanted some tonsils, and she came with me. I took her when her Big Pappi wasn’t looking.” I explained.

“What’s one Little Sissy gonna do?” Ray asked.

“Oh, I don’t have one Little Sissy.” I said, taking another one out of my vest pocket. “I have TWO!” Everypony gasped again. “You sissyies know the plan! Rip his tonsils out!” I released the Little Sissys and they ran over to Ray.

“GET OFF OF ME YOU LITTLE BRATS!” Ray yelled throwing the Little Sissies across the room. They started crying and Ray just laughed. “You thought two Little Sissyies were gonna stop me? HA! You’re so clueless!”

”Oh, I’m not the clueless one! You are!” I said giving him a mischievous look.

“What do you mean?” Ray asked. Just then, we all heard loud footsteps coming from the distance. TWO Big Pappis rushed into the room, and charged over at Ray, and they were about to beat him up. “I guess I really should’ve seen this coming.” Yeah, wish I had a bit every time I heard that!

“Uhh, Big Pappis? Mind if I make a suggestion?” I asked. Both of the Big Pappis looked at me and I explained what they should do; instead of beating up Ray, they should just guard him, and keep watch over him, making sure he does his city duty fairly. From that point forward, Ray wasn’t a dictator; he was a true and fair leader, as long as the Big Pappis were around, and Carol was the one to watch over him, saying ‘Would you please’, so he would do whatever she says. After that, we came to an agreement. We destroyed all the magikids, all the paranoid ponies in the city returned to normal, and we freed the Little Sissies. The Big Pappis now are the ones to police the city, as well as Tissue Lion’s old robots, and everything was perfect.

“Phew! Thank ya. Thank ya both.” Aqua said to Wind Racer and I.

“Hey don’t mind me, Aqua! Just a normal pony, grinding on this trash bin.” I said as my tentacles all split as I started grind-dancing towards a trash bin as nightclub music played in the background for that particular moment.

“Hey, we couldn’t just sit there and watch you rot, bro. You’re not up to running a city anyway.” Wind Racer said and chuckled.

“I know I wasn’t.” Aqua said.

“Now there’s one thing left to do.” I said.

“And what is that, Flare?” Aqua asked.

”Would you please…” I began.

“OH NO! Flare, don’t!” Wind Racer yelled.

“Let me finish, Wind.” I instructed her as I then looked at Aqua. “Would you please be free from the phrase ‘would you please’?”

“Ok.” Aqua said.

”Now to test it out. Would you please get stomped on by a Big Pappi?” I asked.

“FLARE!?” Wind Racer yelled.

“No, I won’t get stomped on by a Big Pappi.” Aqua said, smiling and shaking his head.

”Well what to do you know! You freed him, Flare!” Wind Racer said excitedly.

“It was as simple as that!” I said.

“Aquatic Armor? Wind Racer? Flare Gun? Your bathyspod is ready to take you back home!” Carol said.

“That’s good! I’m kinda gonna miss this place.” Aqua said.

“Feel free to visit anytime! We’ll help any of you in your time of need!” Carol insisted.

“I better get that song done! I’m gonna make that song, and post it on YouTube!” I said. So I concluded the song as we went into our Bathyspod, but I missed the pod and I fell right next to it and my tentacles get stuck on the motor-blades and they get all tangled up. I just concluded the song there as the bathyspod activates and floats to the surface, tilting sideways. “So, you get a bit of story; and a horrid… beating… SPREEEE; BOOM! So glad you came on down to the best little town, you try and not to drown in this creepy town, it really takes the crown though it’s the only town, at the bottom of the deep blue sea- Forget SHOOP SHOOP DE DOOP, it’s the best little town…. At the bottom of the deep blue- Somewhere beyond the sea, they spell it H-O-O-F-T-U-R-E!” After that, we returned home to Ponyville.

Ok that was a pretty difficult challenge for me; even more difficult than the last FiE Challenge. I hope next time I don’t have another challenge that affects my walking.

Author's Notes:

If you didn't know, this whole chapter was a reference to the game Bioshock. The Little Sissies reference the Little Sisters, the Big Pappies are the Big Daddies, the I-Invents are the U-Invents, the Carnival of Values are the Circus of Values, Ray Promenade (Atbass) is Frank Fontaine (Atlas), Tissue Lion is Andrew Ryan, and I think you could figure out the rest.

This chapter was to give Aqua and Wind Racer a little more backstory. Not that much, but I'm comfirming that we'll learn ALOT more about Aqua's past in Book 4 because Books 4, 5, and 6 are mainly going to be focusing on the Noble Six and less of Flare because Flare already stars Books 1-3.

The song Flare's been singing in here parodies the Bioshock Song made by Brentalfloss. Link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIwC9_VCZCY

I'm pretty sure this is quite obvious but Flare's octolegs for the second Friendship is Epic session references the game Octodad, a very hilarious game, and some of the quotes reference Markiplier's reactions to that game. So many references in one chapter, huh? This is going to be the last Friendship is Epic Challenge in this book. I'm planning the next challenge in chapter 6 of Book 3.

Attack of the Killer Fish

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So we start off over at my shop. ANNND… nope! We do not start off at my shop this time! My trailer? No way! We’re starting at a new place now! We start off our story at the Ponyville Bistro. Yeah, that’s a new place, isn’t it? It was me, Blaze, and Crystal vs. Aqua, Psyche, and Engie in a condiment table war.

“Alright, ah’m movin’ mah infantry division.” Engie said, moving some salt and pepper shakers to another part of the table. “Mended by mah battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings.” Engie moves smaller salt and pepper shakers in front of the bigger ones. “We fight the Hoofington Volunteers, and the north once again wins the Battle of Uniberg.”

“Not so fast!” Blaze said. “The north still has two infantry divisions, PLUS Superman, and Godzilla!” Blaze moves a ketchup bottle and a green hot sauce bottle in front of the ‘battlefield’.

“No, no! Orcs are magical, and Superman is vulnerable to magic.” Aqua said, knocking over the ketchup. “Plus, ya already lost Godzilla to the Fillinois Cavalry Hulk.” Aqua shows them the relish bottle and moves the green hot sauce.

“Why can’t you get Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?” Crystal asked, holding a couple of different types of hot sauce bottles.

“So, you guys ready to order?” my sister Water who was our waitress asked.

“Hang on, sis.” I said to her, and then I faced Crystal. “Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu Gods against a whole union army?”

“And orcs!” Psyche added.

“I’ll be back.” Water said, walking over to her manager.

“Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles, and Shiva is the destroyer. When the smoke clears, Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.” Crystal said.

My sister walks back to us and says, “My boss says you have to order, or leave and never come back.”

“What do ya recommend for somepony who worked up a stallion-sized appetite from a morning of weight trainin’ and cardio-funk?” Engie asked seductively.

“A shower.” Water said.

“We don’t eat here, I don’t know what’s good.” I said.

“It’s all good.” Water said.

“Statistically unlikely.” I said.

“Just get a treeburger, you like treeburgers!” Blaze suggested.

“I like treeburgers where we usually get treeburgers; you can’t make the assumption that I’ll like the treeburgers here.” I corrected him.

“Ah’m sorry.” Engie said to me and then he whispers to Water, “Give him a treeburger.”

“Uh, which one? The classic burger, the Ranch House Burger, the Barbecue Burger, or the Kobe Burger?” Water asked.

“Can’t we just go to Big Colt’s Burgers?” I asked Blaze. “They only have one burger. The Big Colt.”

“The Barbecue Burger is like a Big Colt.” Water said.

“Excuse me; in a world that already includes a Big Colt, why would I settle something LIKE a Big Colt?” I asked.

“Because you are not at Big Colt!” Water yelled at me, saying the obvious to me.

“Fine, I’ll have a BBQ Burger.” I said with an attitude as I gave her my menu.

“Make it two.” Blaze said as he gives her his menu.

“Waitresses don’t yet at Big Colts.” I complained.

“Ah’ll take the Ranch House.” Engie said.

“Ah’ll have a cesaer salad.” Aqua said.

“Do you sell alfredos?” Crystal asked.

“We sure do!” Water said.

“Good, then get me the mac and cheese!” Crystal ordered.

“Alright! By the way, Flare, I’m going to be out of town after my shift for a few days.” Water said.

“Awesome! Where you going?” I asked.

“They got this purse I really want to get! They only sell that kind of purse in the Macy’s over at Mustangia!” Water said.

“Well you have fun over there! It’s gonna be pretty lonely back at my trailer!” I said.

“Relax, bro! You survived nearly a year without me there! Besides, you got your fish!” Water reminded me.

“Right, the fishies! Darrel, Pearl, Rainbow, Dorthey, Yoyo, and Piddles!” I nodded.

“Do you always have to say their names in that order?” Water asked.

“That’s usually the order of who I see first in the tank. Well, it was that way, until Yoyo started swimming to me more.” I said.

“I love those fish!” Water said. “Well, I better get back to work. I’ll see you boys around.” Water heads over to the kitchen to fill in our order.

“You kidding right?” Psyche asked with an annoyed tone.

“What’s the matter?” Aqua asked.

“She didn’t take my order!” Psyche complained.

“How can she take your order when you’re too neurotic to talk to her?” Crystal asked.

“Nethertheless, this will reflect in her tip.” Psyche said.

I sighed. “I less then three those fish, you know? Them all swimming around and such!”

“You always like talking about those fish, don’t ya Flare?” Aqua asked.

“Hey, those are fish are like my family! I’m gonna spend some time with them when I get home, but too bad I have to get back to work after this.” I said upsettingly.

“Aren’t you proud of Water getting her new job though?” Blaze asked.

“The only reason she got this job, is because I told her if she doesn’t, I was going to kick her out in the streets.” I said.

“How could you do that to your own sister, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“I wasn’t ACTUALLY going to! I just tricked her into thinking I was, but she really needs to stop hanging around the house, being lazy, always asking me for money.” I explained.

“Smart move, brah!” Blaze said, giving me a brohoof.
Water walks back and says, “I’m sorry, Psyche. I forgot to take your order!”

“Oh, it’s ok, Water!” Psyche smiled at her. “I’ll take a Minestrone soup, and the curly hay-fries.”

“Got it! Curly hay-soup with the minestrone fries coming right up!” Water said, walking away.

“Wait, WAIT! I didn’t order the- Why do I even bother?” Psyche complained. After lunch, I returned to my shop to work. I know I own a restaurant and I should have my lunches there, but I like trying new places. Besides, I want to see how bad of a job she was doing. Meh-heh-heeeeh! A customer came up to Bonnie to complain about a pizza she ordered.

“Excuse me; this pizza is a unmitigated disaster. I asked for artichoke, apple, and hay.” The customer complained.

“But…. That’s what that is.” Bonnie said.

“No, this is apple, artichoke, and hay. It’s the right ingredients, but in the wrong order. In a proper pizza, the artichokes are always first to create a barrier of non-soggyness to the hay, and the apples are to be in the middle to not get the moisture mixed up.” The customer explained.

Bonnie sighed and gave herself a facehoof. “I don’t believe it.”

“I know, its basic culinary science.” The customer said.

The phone next to Lyra started to ring. “I GOT IT! I GOT IT!” I yelled, running over to the phone, but Lyra answered it before I got to it. “DANG IT!” I complained.

“Hello, Flare’s Pizza Parlor! How can I help you?” Lyra asked the pony on the phone. “Yes, ma’am! Yeah, it’s a big honor!”

“Who is it?” I asked.

“Yeah, I know.” Lyra said, still talking on the phone.

“Who is it?!” I asked again, but a little louder.

“How big of an order is it?” Lyra asked.

“WHO IS IT?!” I yelled.

“Wow! That big huh?” Lyra asked.

“LYRA!” I whined.

“Ok.” Lyra said, then she took the phone away from her ear and said to me, “It’s Princess Celestia, and she wants to fill in an order.”

“Wow! Luna usually likes to eat here, but Celestia almost never calls! Wonder what she wants?” I asked, taking the phone from her. “Hello, Flare’s Pizza Parlor, this is Flare Gun!”

“Good afternoon, Flare Gun!” Celestia said.

“Heya, Tia! What can I do for ya?” I asked.

“Well, I’m having a royal Canterlot feast tonight with some representatives from Germaney, and as I’m told, the representatives have a soft spot for pizza.”

“Whatcha talkin’ about, Tia?” I asked with a Gary Coleman accent.

“I’d like to order 80 large pizzas, umm, put all your toppings on the side, and…. 65 bags of garlic rolls, and 76 2-liter sodas, all kinds.” Celestia explained. My eye pupils grew after she said all that. “Hello? Flare Gun? Are you still there?”

“80 PA-PA-PA PIZZAS?! 65 GAR-GAR-GAR-GAR GARLIC ROLLS?!” I asked shockingly.

“And 76 2-liter sodas.” Celestia added.

“Oh…. Well then! You got yourself a deal, your highness! I’ll be there right away with your order!” I said excitingly, breathing very hard.

Celestia giggled. “Thank you, Flare! See you in a few hours!”

“Bye!” I said as I hung up the phone.

“What was her order?” Bonnie asked.

“Oh nothing special, except it was THE BIGGEST ORDER I EVER HAD! Well, except for that one time Discord wanted 200 pounds of pizza dough.” I said.

A cutaway shows me supplying a train load of pizza dough with Discord. “Um, Discord? What do you plan to do with 200 pounds of pizza dough?”

“Not roll around in it like a freak if that’s what you’re thinking.” Discord said with a scared tone.

“Well that’s good.” I said.

“I’m using this dough to save the lives of a poor community outside Equestria that is in dire needs of this dough.” Discord said, dramatically, as a violin was playing in the background without anypony playing it, and Discord starts crying and blows his nose with some tissues he created.

“Those tissues better be Puffs.” I said, smirking at him. The cutaway away ends.

Hours went by, and I was filling in the HUGE order! I ordered some heating crates as well so the pizzas would stay warm, and they loaded them all on to a cargo train which was going take them over to Canterlot for the feast.

“I gotta say, Flare! This order might be your best one yet!” Lyra said.

“I’m so glad I was able to get this order done!” I said excitedly.

“Well, I hope you enjoy yourself! You’re not going to be back here until late, you know?” Bonnie asked.

“What? Oh right! This is going to be an overnight job! Thanks for reminding me, Bonnie! I gotta go put on my automatic fish feeder!” I said.

“Why would you WEAR an automatic fish feeder?” Lyra teased.

“I have no idea, but I might as well install it for the fish. I’m not going to be home until late, and my sister is out of town, so I have to rely on the fish feeder to keep them alive.” I said. So I ran back to my trailer to pack up some stuff that I’ll need for the trip, and I went to see my fish so I can install the feeder. “Hey fishies!” I said to them.

“Oh look, Piddles! It’s that red pony we never see anymore!” Yoyo pointed out.

“Yeah, he works too much, and spends too much time for his friends to worry about us anymore.” Piddles complained.

“Hey, he’s a busy pony, you guys! Let him do his thing!” Rainbow advised them.

“Sorry I won’t be home tonight, you guys. I have a BIG order to make over at Canterlot! So I’ll be installing the feeder again.” I said.

“Awww! That feeder feeds us too little! You usually feed us a lot more!” Yoyo complained.

“Well good! I need to go on a diet anyway.” Pearl said.

“NOOOO! Don’t leave us again!” Piddles whined. “Without you around, who’s going to tell Yoyo to stop bothering me while I sleep?!”

“No comment.” Yoyo said.

“Hey, why would he care about us? We’re just a bunch of fish!” Dorthey complained.

“Wow, Dorthey! You should really listen to how racist that sounded.” Piddles said angrily at Dorthey.

“Racist? We’re not even a race!” Dorthey corrected him.

“Whatever…. speciesist.” Piddles said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m really gonna miss you guys though. You’re my family.” I said to them.

“Hey, we’ll be fine. We got Darrel over there keeping us entertained. He’s been sitting there all day, just singing about what he sees.” Rainbow said.

“Pony looking for the feeder.” Darrel sang, while playing a piano. “I sing like I’m in a fancy theater. Hey there rover! Come on over!”

“So yeah, we’ll be fine for the next night or two.” Rainbow said.

“OH NO!” I yelled.

“What is he ‘oh noing’ about?” Piddles asked.

“Probably found that toxic fish food he keeps on the side of the tank that Twilight asked him to keep there ever since Pinkie Pie loses Flare’s iPod.” Rainbow assumed.

“The fish feeder is broken!” I complained. “GREAT! What am I gonna do now? I can’t just leave you guys here to starve!”

“We’ll able to survive a night.” Pearl said.

“Not me!” Yoyo said.

“This can’t be good! Looks like my only option is hiring a pet sitter.” I said. Spike pops up next to me in Road-Runner speed, carrying a can that says ‘Spike’s Pet Sitting Service, 1 Gem’. “No, Spike. I know you’re capable of taking care of animals, but a job like this requires a professional!”

“Does he realize all he has to do is pinch some flakes in here and then we’ll be fine?” Piddles asked the other fish.

“Yeah, totally not a professional job.” Pearl said. So I gave Fluttershy a call, and she went over as fast as she could. She rang the doorbell and I activated my eyeball camera.

“Hey, Flutters!” I said. Fluttershy gasped and hid in the bushes. “Holy Wizard of Hope, Flutters! You’ve been coming to my place for over a year now! You always get startled at this eyeball camera!”

“I’m sorry, Flare, but that camera is… just so creepy!” Flutters said. I deactivated the camera, and opened the door.

“How you doing, Mama Flutters?” I asked, giving her a hug.

“I’m doing well, thank you!” Flutters said as she hugged back.

“Come in!” I said, letting her inside. We both walked through the hallway towards my bedroom. Giggity! “Thanks for offering to do this for me, Flutters. I know its last minute, but I get so worried about my fish when I leave the house. It’s bad enough I’m out for the whole day!”

“I like it better when he’s not around. No offense.” Dorthey said.

“Hey, it’s a pleasure, Flare! I just adore your fish, and I’ve been waiting for the day I can finally take care of them!” Flutters said excitedly.

“Well, if that were the case I could’ve hired you sooner.” I said.

“So, is there anything special that they need?” Flutters asked.

“Just feed them around 7:30, PM, not AM! So remember that.”

“Feed them at 7:30 PM, not AM. Got it.” Flutters nodded.

“Also, in the morning, you have to feed them at 7:30 AM, NOT PM!” I instructed her.

“Feed them at 7:30 AM, not PM. Got it.” Flutters nodded.

“And they just love attention! Especially Darrel!” I said.

“Flare Gun is with his special somepony, instructing her on taking care of uuuuuuuuus!” Darrel sang, while playing his piano.

“No, Fluttershy isn’t his special somepony! Twilight Sparkle is!” Pearl corrected him.

“No, it’s obviously Rainbow Dash!” Piddles corrected them.

“You’re all wrong! Spike comes and sees him everyday! He’s the special somepony!” Yoyo corrected them.

“That’s not right! He can’t be a special somepony because he’s a dragon! Duh! He’s his special somedragon!” Dorthey corrected them.

“Makes sense to me.” Piddles nodded.

“Also the light goes off at 9:00 every night, and you have to turn it on at 7 the next day. Give them a half-hour time before feeding them, and make sure the window is open for light because they don’t like it when the light goes on without warning.” I said.

“Ugh! Yeah, I always that!” Yoyo complained. A cutaway shows all the fish sleeping in my tank, and then the light instantly comes on a few moments later. “AAAH! ALIENS!” Yoyo cried as he quickly puts on a tin foil hat. “There! They’ll never put me in a microwave now!” The cutaway ends.

“The fish food is right here on the shelf below the tank.” I explained to Flutters. “If you want to clean the tank, here’s the cleaning magnets. One on the outside window of the tank, and one on the inside. Piddles seems to follow it a lot.”

“What magnets is he talking about?” Piddles asked. A cutaway shows me cleaning the tank with the magnet glass scrubber, and Piddles swims around following it, saying; “Hello, there! I’m Piddles! Don’t mind the other fish in thinking you’re a monster. It looks like you like moving around back and forth just like me! I really like to exercise the- Hey! Hey, where you going? I’m talking to you, and you move all the way to the other side of the tank? How rude!” Piddles swims towards the cleaner. “Anyways, what’s your name? Where do you come from? You look like the weirdest fish I ever- HEY! I didn’t mean it that way! Don’t jump out of the tank! You won’t survive in the outside world! Don’t go on the shelf! You don’t know the last time that was clean- Oh nevermind, I hate him now.” The cutaway ends.

Right after I explained everything to Fluttershy, I walked outside with my satchel. “Alright, Flutters, I gave you the information you needed for the security system in my house. Are you sure you can do this?”

“Of course, Son Flare. I promise, I’ll do all I can to make sure your fish stay happy and healthy.” Flutters promised.

“I trust you completely, sista! Good luck to you! See you tomorrow!” I said, walking to the trainstation and Flutters was waving to meuntil I got there. Flutters then closed the door to my trailer and walked back to the fish tank. While I was walking inside the train, I saw a mysterious figure walking out. “Hey, what were you doing in there? That pizza wasn’t for you!” Just then, I heard a beeping sound inside. I looked around the train to where the beeping sound was coming from, but every few seconds that went by, the beeping kept going faster and faster. As the beeping was going on, I was singing the Potter Puppet Pals song, until I found the source of the ticking which was a- you guessed it- PIPE BOMB! Once I saw the bomb, I grabbed it with my magic, threw it outside, and covered it using my armor lock spell. I didn’t know I could do armor lock to other stuff other than myself! Must be a new upgrade! The bomb exploded, and I released the lock. Twilight ran over to me in worry.

“Flare!” Twilight yelled.

“Twilight!” I yelled back. “Hey B-T-W, I wanted to ask; why is it that every time ponies blink, if someone freezes time in just the right moment, the ponies look like they just had something poke them in their behind?”

“I have no clue.” Twilight said.

“Really? That’s a first!” I chuckled. “Or maybe not because I think I said that before.”

“Flare, what happened?” she asked.

“I don’t know! I have this shipment of pizzas to take to Canterlot, but I found this pipe bomb on board! Somepony was trying to kill me, or worse, destroy my pizzas!” I said with a frightened tone.

“Uhh, how can destroying your pizzas be worse than you being killed?” Twilight asked.

“Because this pizza is for royalty!” I said. “This pizza has to be at Canterlot tonight! We must impress the Germaney folk!”

“Well, I can’t bare to see you at risk with somepony trying to ruin your pizzas, but to be on the safe side, I should come with you.” Twilight suggested.

“Oh, Twilight, you don’t have to do that! I can take care of everything myself!” I said.

“I insist! It’s been a while since I last seen Celestia! It’ll be honor!” Twilight insisted.

“Alright, sounds good! If somepony is trying to destroy my pizzas, they’ll to think twice before messing with Twilight and Flare!” I shouted in excitement.

“RIGHT!” Twilight yelled, giving me a bro…. sisterhoof, I dunno. “You know it, boi!”

“No, Twilight… no.” I shook my head. So we both went inside the train, and searched to see if there were anymore explosives, or anything that can ruin the pizzas on board, but it was all clear! We sealed all the doors, and the train started going. Twilight and I were on the alert, making sure the pizzas stay nice and secure!

Meanwhile, Fluttershy went over to my fish to start her pet sitting. “Hello there, fishies! My, you all look lovely today!”

Pearl giggled and blushed. “Oh stop it you!”

“I think she was talking about me.” Dorthey corrected her.

“You must be so lucky to have a great pet owner like Flare to take care of you.” Flutters said.

“He doesn’t like calling us ‘pets’, he likes calling us family; and I like his enthusiasm.” Rainbow said.

“Isn’t she lovely?” Darrel sang to Fluttershy as he plays his piano.

“So, I don’t know what Flare usually does to play with you all. What does he usually do?” Flutters asked.

“He usually likes to shake his head around the tank as we swim around until he feels dizzy and passes out on the toilet.” Yoyo said.

“Well, I don’t normally take care of fish. I usually take care of woodland creatures, but I do believe taking care of fish is just as easy.” Flutters said.

“You sure about that? Flare said he needed a professional to take care of us.” Dorthey said sarcastically.

“I’m pretty sure we’ll all get along fine. Won’t we?” Flutters asked.

“I dunno, but forget my diet, I am hungry!” Pearl complained as she swam over to a leftover flake from breakfast.

“White fish named Pearl, reaches for a flake!” Darrel sang, playing on his piano. “Gonna take a btie! Eh, nope, nope! She gonna breathe on it first! Wipes it on her scaaaaaales!” Pearl was just floating there, staring at Darrel, and Darrel was just staring at her back until she did something else. “She takes a bite! Chews it once…. Twice…. Three times…. Four times…. STOPS! Salvia working, takes a long hard look at Darrel!” They were both silent again. “Five times…. Big fish named Rainbow swimming oveeeeeer!”

“This is starting to annoy me.” Pearl whispered to Rainbow as they both swam away from Darrel.

“They’re swimming down the tank. Left fin, right fin, left fin, right fin, left fin-“ Darrel sang, but before he could finish, Dorthey threw a rock at him. “OW!”

“Sorry, it slipped.” Dorthey lied.

“That was completely unnecessary, Dorthey.” Rainbow said to her.

“I said I was sorry!” Dorthey said, giggling. Just then, Fluttershy heard the doorbell ring. AppleJack and Rarity were standing outside the door.

“You know, Flare can think of a better location to put his trailer other than next to the trainstation.” Rarity said.

“Ah’d actually like sleepin’ when a train goes by. It’s so relaxin. Ah envy Flare living in a house that can be moved to where ever he likes.” AppleJack said.

“Flare, dear? You home?” Rarity asked, ringing the doorbell again. Fluttershy opens the door.

“You’re not Flare.” Rarity said.

“Sorry to disappoint you.” Flutters said, feeling bad.

“Howdy, Fluttershy! What are ya doing at Flare’s house?” AppleJack asked.

“Uhh, it’s actually called a ‘trailer’, AppleJack.” Rarity corrected her.

“Well excuse me for callin’ it by it’s category!” AppleJack said with an attitude, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, I’m here because Flare has a big order to fill in at Canterlot. His fish feeder is broken, so he asked me stay and take care of his fish until he comes back.” Flutters said.

“That’s very kind of, dear.” Rarity said.

“Ah would’ve thought he’d get Spike to do it?” AppleJack asked.

“Well, he says this work needed ‘professional help’.” Flutters said.

“Well, it’s a good thing he trusted you for the job, Fluttershy. You’re a professional!” AppleJack said, winking at her.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say professional when it comes to fish!” Flutters said embarrassedly.

“May we come in?” AppleJack asked.

“Oh honestly, AppleJack! You think it’s wise asking the pony that doesn’t even own this house that we can come in?” Rarity asked.

“Ah thought ya said it should be called a trailer?” AppleJack asked as she smirked at her.

“Well, Flare didn’t say I wasn’t allowed to have guests, so come on in.” Flutters said.

“Thank ya, Fluttershy!” AppleJack said as they all walk inside and walk over to my bedroom. Giggity! “Aww, look at those happy fish!”

“Indeed! I could use another fish like Pearl.” Rarity said. “She looks so fabulous! She reminds me of myself.”

“What? I’m a marshmallow?” Pearl asked.

“Ah thought that rainbow one was Pearl?” AppleJack asked.

“No, that’s Rainbow.” Rarity corrected her.

“No, the smaller rainbow.” AppleJack pointed.

“Oh, that’s….. what’s her name again?” Rarity asked.

“You know Rainbow’s name, but you don’t know mine?” Dorthey complained.

“Calm down, Dorthey. Not everypony seen Wizard of Oz.” Rainbow reminded her.

“Oh, that’s Dorthey!” Flutters said, pointed to Dorthey.

“Wow, y’all know those fish quite well, huh, Flutters?” AppleJack asked.

“Yep!” Flutters nodded. “I come and see them every time I visit Flare. In fact, they’re one of the main reasons I visit Flare!”

“Well, ah sure have got mahself an appetite! Ya hear me, Yoyo?” AppleJack asked.

“You read my mind, sister!” Yoyo said.

“Oh, they can’t be fed until 7:30.” Flutters said.

“Aw, dear. It’s 7:27. It wouldn’t hurt feeding them a little earlier.” Rarity suggested.

“But Flare said 7:30.” Flutters said.

“Did he say 7:30, or did he say AROUND 7:30?” AppleJack asked.

“Uhh, around?” Flutters said, unsurely.

“Then 7:27 is around! Come on, we should feed them until that little albino catfish decided to fall asleep.” AppleJack suggested.

“Oh, Piddles? Yes, he does like to sleep a lot.” Flutters said.

“She sure knows us very we-“ Piddles said as he then fell asleep instantly.

“How about this fish food?” AppleJack asked as she observed the fish food container with a biohazard symbol on it.

“Umm, I don’t think I feel comfortable with that logo.” Flutters said.

“What? This one? It’s just the logo’s brand!” AppleJack said. I would’ve thought AppleJack knew what ‘biohazard’ was.

“Indeed! C’mon, Fluttershy. Let’s just feed the fish this stuff, and we can go play with Water’s make up!” Rarity said excitedly.

“Y’all can play with the make-up, ah wanna play with Flare’s exercise equipment.” AppleJack said. “Ironically, ah’ve never seen Flare use them. Well… ah never seen Flare sleep in his bed and ah never seen him shower, so ah guess ah shouldn’t judge.”

“You in, Fluttershy?” Rarity asked.

“Well, I think I just want to take a nap.” Flutters said as she opens the hazardous fish flakes’ container. I seriously don’t know why I still had those. I guess I was waiting for Twilight to be available so she can research them, but it never occurred to me. Maybe I should’ve told them what that stuff actually was.

“Wait, ah don’t think we should feed them that stuff.” AppleJack suggested as she stopped Fluttershy.

“AppleJack! These fish need to be healthy and grow up big and strong!” Rarity said.

“I’m already big and strong.” Rainbow reminded her.

“But it just occurred to me; this logo seems to be pretty familiar.” AppleJack said as she observes the bottle. Oh NOW she’s specious of the biohazard logo! What took her so long? I mean, by the looks of the biohazard logo, you should already know that it means trouble! What if it was the radiation logo? Maybe it would’ve been more recognizable that it wasn’t good! If I got Twilight to look after the fish, she might’ve thought what the logo meant right away.

“C’mon, Fluttershy! Feed the fish! It’s what Flare wants.” Rarity said.

“Ya can’t be too sure though.” AppleJack said.

“You can’t let Flare down, Fluttershy!” Rarity said.

Fluttershy inhaled, and said, “You’re right, AppleJack! I don’t know what this stuff does.”
“HA!” AppleJack laughed. “That’s right, ah’m right!”

“But then again, you’re right, Rarity. I can’t let Flare down. It wouldn’t be wise of Flare to keep something poisonous lying around for his fish to eat.” Flutters said, putting a few flakes inside the tank. You know what? She’s right! It was stupid of me to leave that stuff around, so this is pretty much my fault. Maybe I should’ve left that stuff in Water’s make-up cabinet and let Rarity rub that stuff all over her face instead.

“Oh boy! This stuff looks good!” Yoyo said excitedly.

“I dunno, something looks fishy about this fish food.” Pearl said.

“I’m not sure how to respond to that ridiculous and overused pun.” Piddles said awkwardly.

“Well, duh! It’s fish food! If it wasn’t fishy then why would we be eating it?” Yoyo asked.

“He’s right! Whatever falls in here, and it’s edible, I’m totally eating it!” Piddles said.

“It starts snowing, weird black flakey fish flakes, we gonna eat it all up!” Darrel sang.

“Darrel, stop singing and dig in!” Rainbow instructed him.

“Don’t mind if I do!” Darrel said excitedly as he swam to the flakes and started eating them up.

“See? No harm done! The fish ate up the flakes, and look how happy they are!” Rarity pointed out.

“I dunno, ah still have a bad feeling about this stuff.” AppleJack said.

“What’s done is done, Fluttershy. You did very well! Flare will be very proud of you!” Rarity said.

Flutters smiled. “I did well… I did well.”

“Well, good for you! If you need me, I’ll be taking a bath.” Rarity said, walking in the bathroom with Water’s make-up.

“And ah’ll be usin’ Flare’s weights.” AppleJack said as she walked over to my exercise room.

Flutters went back over to the tank and said to my fish, “Enjoy your food, fishies! I know I’m a great pet sitter! Don’t be sad though if you miss Flare though. He’ll back tomorrow morning with a lot of money from the banquet. You just make yourselves comfee, while I go take a nap.” Flutters went over to my bed and laid down. I should feel pretty proud that I was able to finally get a mare to sleep on my bed! If only I was there too. Oh well… beggars can’t be choosers.

“This new fish food Fluttershy gave us is really good! I feel like I have a lot of energy!” Dorthey said, feeling real pumped up.

“Yeah, me too! I feel like I like I wanna lift something!” Yoyo said as he just lifts a rock without any trouble. “Hey, I just lifted a rock without having trouble lifting it!”

“Did this stuff just make you stronger?” Piddles asked.

“Might’ve! You try lifting something, Piddles!” Yoyo suggested.

“Alright!” Piddles took one of the vases in the tank, and instantly lifts it. “Whoa! I never thought the vase was this light!”

“That’s weird. The food she gave us must’ve made us stronger.” Rainbow assumed.

Darrel tries to play the piano again, but everytime he hits a key, the key breaks. “Maybe a little too stronger.” Darrel said.

“GAH! Fluttershy!” AppleJack yelled.

“Yeah?” Flutters asked.

AppleJack ran back into my bedroom (giggity) and said to Flutters, “What happened to Flare’s weights?”

“What do you mean?” Flutters asked.

“Ah looked in the exercise room, and all his exercise equipment are torn apart!” AppleJack said.

“Oh, well, maybe Flare planning to upgrade them.” Flutters assumed.

“Ah did see a lot of tools and stuff in there. Ah did see some heavy crates, ah guess ah can lift those.” AppleJack said.

“UGH!” Rainbow groaned.

“What’s wrong, Rainbow?” Piddles asked.

“I can’t fit inside castle. I usually can fit in there, but it seems I gained a little weight.” Rainbow said.

“It actually looked like you gained a little size, Rainbow.” Yoyo pointed out.

“Yeah, you too, Yoyo.” Rainbow said.

“Really?” Yoyo asked, looking at his body.

“WEEEE!” Darrel yelled as he was swimming around the tank, but once he bumped onto one of the sides of the tank, it cracked and it started leaking.

“OH, way to go Darrel!” Dorthey yelled at him.

“WHAT?!” Darrel yelled.

“You made the tank leak!” Dorthey said.

“So? Then the water will flood the outside world, and we can swim around where ever we want!” Darrel said.

“Not if this tank loses water first!” Dorthey yelled.

“Calm down, both of you! It doesn’t matter; let’s just patch up the cracks, and once somepony notices the cracks, they’ll be able to fix it properly.” Rainbow said.

“Well, what can we use for it?” Pearl asked.

“We can use Darrel’s piano.” Yoyo suggested.

“Nuh uh! No way! I’m using that!” Darrel said.

“Calm down, Darrel! You broke it anyway! Let’s just use it to block the cracks until you break something else!” Piddles suggested. So Piddles pushed the piano, but the piano just slid by and hit the crack, and the crack became bigger.

“Dang it, Piddles!” Dorthey yelled.

“I didn’t know my own strength! You gotta quit complaining once in a while!” Piddles yelled.

“GRRR! I feel like crushing you right now, Piddles!” Dorthey yelled.

“NOT IF I CRUSH YOU FIRST!” Piddles yelled back.

“Hey! You two never yell…. all the time. What’s the meaning of this?!” Rainbow yelled.

“Listen to you Rainbow! You think you’re in charge around here, but you’re not! You always think you’re better than us!” Dorthey yelled.

“How about you Dorthey? You’re always out there trying to steal my job!” Rainbow yelled.

“You tried stealing Chuck’s job!” Yoyo yelled.

“HE tried to steal Spot’s job!” Rainbow yelled.

“UGH! I can’t stand any of you!” Pearl yelled.

“WILL ALL OF YOU JUST BE QUIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!” Darrel yelled, but his yell was so loud that the whole tank shattered and all the fish dropped out of the tank, and started flopping around on the ground.

“Look what you’ve done, Darrel!” Yoyo yelled.

“Shut up, fatso!” Darrel yelled at him.

“I don’t think this is that bad; I can actually breathe out here.” Piddles said.

“Yeah, we can float too.” Pearl said.

“Are we some sort of super fish?” Yoyo asked.

“You gotta stop reading all these comics, Yoyo. They rot the mind.” Pearl advised him.

“You rot your mind over your stupid fashion magazines!” Yoyo yelled.

“You too need to grow up! The magazines you read are just displays! They’re not real!” Piddles yelled.

“HOW DO WE KNOW IF WE’RE ALL REAL?!” Darrel yelled. “LOOK AT US! WE’RE TALKING FISH!”

“Yeah, but nopony seems to understand us!” Rainbow yelled.

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! YOU ALL KEEP CORRECTING ME LIKE I’M SOME SORT OF CHILD!” Darrel yelled.

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD!” Dorthey yelled.

All the fish started growling at eachother, but as they were growling, they started growing, and they started to get more in rage! They never seen each other so angry, but every time they look at each other, they seem to get angrier, and angrier! They kept growing and growing too! AppleJack, Rarity, and Fluttershy didn’t seem to notice. Flutters was asleep, Rarity was in the bathroom, and AppleJack was watching TV. They started smashing though my bedroom door, breaking it, and they did the same to the front door, and they swam outside. My trailer alarm started going off which woke up Flutters, and AppleJack was turning down the volume, thinking it was the TV, and Rarity was sitting in the tub with cucumbers on her eyes, and she yelled, “APPLEJACK!? Be a dear and turn down the TV?!”

“Ah just did! What the hay is wrong with this thing?” AppleJack complained as my mutated fish began to swim outside my trailer.

Meanwhile, on the train ride to Canterlot. I was standing in the front side of the cargo car while Twilight was standing in the back side, staying on the alert, but at the same time we were relaxing, making sure our ride to Canterlot was smoothly. “Hey, Twilight?” I asked.

“Yeah, Flare?” Twilight asked.

“How come if supply transfers are traveling through a car they’re called shipments, but if supply transfers are traveling through ships they’re called cargos?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I guess that’s how ponies liked to call them.” Twilight guessed.

“Doesn’t really make much sense to me.” I said.

“Well, there are so many things that don’t make sense, Flare, but you just have to live with them.” Twilight said.

“Listen to you, you sound like my mom!” I complained.

“Is that a bad thing?” Twilight asked.

“More or less.” I said.

“Don’t you even miss her?” Twilight asked.

“Of course I miss her, but I moved to Ponyville to make some friends. When I moved, Fluttershy became my mom. You shouldn’t have a problem with that Twilight; you moved here for the same reason.” I reminded her.

“I never said I had a problem with it.” Twilight corrected me.

“I know, but the tone of your voice makes it sound like that.” I said. Twilight just sighed and rolled her eyes. “Hey, Twilight? Before the royal wedding; you were saying how much you love Shining, and yet you didn’t remember Cadance.”

“Cadance was part of my early childhood, and I only remember bits and pieces of what we did. Shining, however, was there my whole life! He said goodbye to Spike and I before we left Canterlot for my special friendship task.” Twilight explained.

“Well if only Cadance saw you then, you were like, ‘I HAVE A BROTHER AND I LOVE HIM, LA LA LA LA, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE IN MY CHILDHOOD’ you were singing, and then you were like; ‘OH, AND THERE’S MY FOALSITTER. Oh…. I love her too.’ See?” I explained.

“That doesn’t even sound like me.” Twilight said.

“Well, it sounded like that to me when I was recording the whole thing!” I said.

“I’m surprised Rainbow Dash didn’t blow a fuse and smash that camera.” Twilight teased.

“I wanna do a captures thing again same day.” I said. Just then, we heard a tapping noise coming from on top of the train.

“Did you hear that?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, I did. Did you?” I asked.

“If I didn’t hear that, how would I be asking you?” Twilight asked.

“Because everything I know is a lie!” I cried. We then heard the tapping again. “What do we do?”

“One of us has to go on top of the train to search it out. Might be somepony out to ruin your shipment again.” Twilight guessed.

“Since this is a train, I can’t tell if it’s called a shipment or a cargo.” I said.

“So, who’s it gonna be?” Twilight asked.

“You! You go on top of the train! Lion face.” I suggested.

“What?!” Twilight asked. “A stallion never tells a mare to do the dirty work, or at least that’s what I read.”

“You got your teleportation magic! If you accidently fall off train, you can come back. I have no way of getting back on.” I reminded her.

Twilight sighed. “Alright, fine.”

“Don’t worry! I’ll keep a close eye on the planeits.” I said.

“The what?” Twilight asked.

“The planeits! Since shipment is car, and cargo and ship, I’m thinking of making planeits are the supplies on a train, but I haven’t figured out what the supplies on a plane should be called, train….. something.” I said. Twilight shook her head, and went outside and climbed on top of the train. She checked, but there was nothing there. She looked over at the other tops of the train, but nope, nothing. She heard a dinging sound coming from behind her; she turned around and saw a train signal hanging over the tracks very lowly. She gasps and jumps down quickly, and heads back inside. “How was the search?”

“I NEARLY DIED!” Twilight yelled, catching her breath.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” I said.

“AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE, FILING YOUR NAILS?!” Twilight asked.

“I usually bite them, but since you’re here, I might as well file them.” I said. Twilight groaned, and facehoofed herself.

Meanwhile, back at home, AppleJack and Rarity rushed into my bedroom (giggity) as Fluttershy was screaming and the alarm was going off in the house.
“I can’t hear you, dear! This alarm is loud!” Rarity yelled.

“NO! THE FISH ARE GONE!” Flutters yelled. “Flare relied on me to do one thing, and-“

“Hang on, sugarcube!” AppleJack stopped her as she walked over to my security station, and bucked it with her hind legs, and the alarm got turned off. “Alright, there you go. Ah couldn’t hear you over the alarm.”

“Flare relied on me doing one thing, and I failed him!” Flutters cried as she starts weeping on the fish tank debris.

“It’s ok, dear! You did your best!” Rarity said, trying to comfort her.

“I did?! If I did my best I wouldn’ve lost the fish! Flare’s never going to talk to me again!” Flutters cried.

“Calm down, Fluttershy! We can find Flare’s fish. Ah don’t see any bodies around. So they must be somewhere else.” AppleJack said.

“Flare’s gonna kill me!” Flutters freaked out.

“Fluttershy, he treats you like yer his ma. Ah doubt he’d kill ya.” AppleJack reminded her.

“Darling, calm down! You got yourself in this situation, you can get yourself out.” Rarity explained.

“I don’t know, Rarity! These are Flare’s fish we’re talking about! He loves those fish more than anything!” Flutters said.

“We’ll get them back! We just have to look for them.” Rarity suggested.

“Ah dunno how fish could just get up and walk away and smash all his doors while they’re at it. Does Flare know about this?” AppleJack asked.

“Perhaps there’s something he didn’t tell me.” Flutters thought.

“Ah think the best thing to do is to call Flare; he’ll know what to do.” AppleJack said.

“NO! If Flare knows, then Fluttershy will take responsibility, and he’ll never wanna be friends with her again. Right? Isn’t that right?” Rarity explained. Fluttershy gasped after she heard that.

“WE HAVE TO GET THOSE FISH BACK!” Flutters cried.

“But where could they be?” Rarity asked. Just then, the three of them heard screaming and roaring coming from outside. Fluttershy, AppleJack, and Rarity all ran outside, and they saw GIANT fish causing havoc throughout the town.

“Oh, this is bad.” Rarity said shockingly. Fluttershy instantly falls back and faints. Fluttershy eventually wakes back up with AppleJack, Rarity, and .MOV Spike standing over her.

“Yo, Fluttershy. You alright?” .MOV Spike asked.

“Get outta here you freak of nature!” AppleJack ordered the .MOV Spike.

“Fine. This place is too girly anyway.” The .MOV Spike said as he walked away.

“Ya alright, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked Flutters as she helped her up.

“Ugh… how long was I out?” Flutters asked as she rubbed her head.

“9 days.” AppleJack said.

“WHAT?!” Flutters yelled.

“Nah!” AppleJack teased. “You’ve only been out for 15 seconds.”

“Honestly, AppleJack!” Rarity said with an annoyed tone.

“Honestly’s mah element!” AppleJack said.

“Where are the fish? We have to get them back!” Flutters freaked out.

“But how? They’ve turned into mutated monsters.” AppleJack said.

“WAIT!” Flutters turned around and ran back inside the trailer, and looked at the fish food she fed them with. “AppleJack? What does ‘biohazard’ mean?”

“BIOHAZARD?!” AppleJack cried. “Biohazard is a type of radiation! Ah think this fish food was the reason the fish became monsters!”

“Then why did you get her to feed it, AppleJack? If you knew, you could’ve stopped her!” Rarity reminded her.

“AH DID TRY TO STOP HER! Y’all kept blabberin on about how much it would mean to Flare if Fluttershy did the feedin’ job for him!” AppleJack corrected her.

Rarity and AppleJack started to argue, and Flutters got a wee-bit angry.
“Will you both STOP ARGUE!?” Flutters yelled.

Rarity, and AppleJack both looked at Flutters in surprise. “Whoa!” AJ said in shock. Did I say wee-bit angry? I meant wee-bitter angry.

“I got myself into this situation, and now I’m going to fix it! I’m going to change Flare’s fish back to the way they were before he gets home, and NOPONY is gonna stop me!” Flutters swore. She starts walking into town, and AppleJack and Rarity started to follow her.
“Fluttershy, wait!” AppleJack called out. “Are you sure you can do this?”

“Positive!” Flutters said, and continued walking.

“But this maybe a dangerous job! Look at them, causing havoc and destruction throughout the entire town!” Rarity reminded her.

“I have to do this, for Son Flare!” Flutters said.

“But do you know how you can stop them?” AppleJack asked.

“I did my homework! I searched around Flare’s trailer for anything that might help out, and I found this note that has the antidote right here!” Flutters said, holding a piece of paper showing the antidote. “It says if the fish are relaxed and they eat regular fish food, they’ll go back to normal.”

“Since when did you get that paper?” Rarity asked.

“ARE WE GONNA SAVE FLARE’S FISH, OR WHAT?!” Flutters asked loudly.

“YEE-HAW! Let’s get’er done!” AppleJack cried.

“YEEEEAAAAH!” Bulk Biceps cried.

“No, not you, Snowflake.” Rarity said.

“Awww.” Bulk Biceps said sadly. “Also Snowflake’s not my name, and neither is Roid Rage.”

Fluttershy, AppleJack, and Rarity all went over to their houses to gather supplies so they can be able to get my fish easier. AppleJack gets her rope, a few apples, and asks Apple Bloom for her Capturing Hat, which looks exactly like her old hat, but I wouldn’t blame her for switching hats. I use different vests too depending on the occasion. I have my angry vest which is a lighter blue than most of the other vests, and there’s my happy-go-fun day vest which is the most regularist blue than all the other vests, but I think you get the idea. Rarity takes a few make ups and hair brushes with her, but how is that gonna help in this situation? Fluttershy gathers a net, some sort of food launcher, and…. a couple of other stuff, but do we have to go into details? AppleJack gave Rarity and Flutters each walkie-talkies so they can stay in contact with each other.

“So how are we going to do this?” Rarity asked.

“Ah think the best strategy is to split up. We’ll take two fish each. Ah’ll take Pearl and Piddles, Rarity will take Darrel and Dorthey, and Fluttershy will take Yoyo and Rainbow.” AppleJack explained the plan.

“But I wanted to get Pearl! She has my eyes!” Rarity complained.

“Fine, ah’ll take Dorthey; she’s a hassle anyway.” AppleJack said.

“But shouldn’t it be girl with girl? Take Darrel.” Rarity suggested.

“FINE! Whatever! Let’s just go save the town and Flare’s fish before he gets back.” AppleJack said. So the three of them split up in different parts of the town to take care of the fish problem. The townsfolk were running and screaming all over the place, locking their doors, and putting their plants inside because Yoyo and Piddles kept eating everything they see. AppleJack jumped on a roof and twirled her rope around, and tried to capture Piddles, but after the rope was tied on, Piddles started twitching really fast, and moved around, and AppleJack flew off the roof, and landed on the ground. Piddles was moving around so much, that AppleJack was being dragged around the ground, but she finally let go and gave up on Piddles.

Rarity tried to bait Pearl with all the make-up, and dresses she had, and Pearl took the bait. Rarity started charging to her with a big fishing net, and she threw the net on, but the big net wasn’t so big after all; it just covered her face. Pearl roared and tore the net off her face, and slapped Rarity with her hind fin as she was swimming away. “WELL! I never!” Rarity shockingly said, holding her cheek.

Fluttershy was pretty scared, but she had to do what she had to do. She used her launcher to try to get the food in Rainbow’s mouth, but Rainbow didn’t roar that much. Flutters had to do all she could to get Rainbow’s mouth opened, but luckily Rainbow DAAAASSSSHHHH was there to save the day. Dash flies on down to pound Rainbow in the back and get his mouth to open. Dash was successful, and Fluttershy shoots the fish flakes inside Rainbow’s mouth. Rainbow just floats there without any emotion. Fluttershy’s eye pupils grew, thinking she was successful, but then Rainbow suddenly spits out the food and whips Rainbow Dash with his tail, and she starts flying, not her type of flying, but force flying and she yells; “Looks like Rainbow Dash is blasting off agaaaaaaiin….” Then a star twinkled when Dash was out of sight. So yeah, everypony was having a real tough time getting my fish to calm down. We’ll get back to them later.

The sun was setting, and it was starting to get darker. Twilight and I were still on patrol, but I could tell we weren’t on the train alone, well…. besides the conductor, which is my friend Diesel, but I know he’d never sell us out. “Everything clear?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, but it’s really starting to get hot in here.” I said. “SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!”

“Well, this heat has to keep the pizzas nice and hot.” Twilight said.

“You know what I just realized?” I asked.

“What did you just realize?” Twilight asked.

“I could’ve just got my Canterlot pizza shop to fill the order! How can I be so stupid?” I asked, slapping myself in the head.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Don’t slap yourself in the head, it kills brain cells.” Twilight advised me.

“Sorry, I’m just really bored right now!” I said.

“Well, find a way to entertain yourself.” Twilight suggested.
“If I had my top hat and cane with me right now, and Spike were here, we’d do a musical number.” I said.

“Oh yeah?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah! A little something to keep my spirits up. I heard you Ponyville folk like to sing, but more like Disney Movie style music, I’m more into swinging music.” I said. “Hey, mind if I go back to the Shining Armor and Cadance subject?”

“Not at all! What you need to know?” Twilight asked.

“At the wedding after Chrysalis banished you to the mines underneath Canterlot, I thought it would be cleverer if she just let you stay, and then you’d keep making a fool of yourself, and you would’ve never found the real Cadance.” I suggested.

“What? You wanna go back in time and tell Chrysalis that so all of Canterlot would fall under the changeling’s hooves?” Twilight asked with an attitude.

“I’m just saying, sista! Chrysalis did a poor job in that plan; she could’ve gone cleverer than that.” I said. Just then, we heard footsteps on top of the train again.

“They’re ba-ack.” Twilight said.

“They? You saying there’s more than one?” I asked.

“I heard more footsteps than I should. You should cover that door, I’ll take this one.” Twilight said.

“And since when did you become the boss of this little group? BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS!” I asked.

“This isn’t about being the boss, Flare. This is about keeping your food safe! You with me or not?” Twilight asked.

“You should’ve said it like this; ‘Are you win me, or again me?’” I said.

“What?” Twilight asked confusingly.

“My mom and I used to do that a lot. Win me or again me. It sounds like with you and against you, but more badflank!” Just then, we heard the door over at my end of the train slam shut.

“Shhh! They’re in here!” Twilight whispered.

“Ok, but why are we whispered?” I whispered back.

“Just keep on the alert.” Twilight whispered.

“Roger that!” I whispered. Twilight and I walked around the train car and looked behind crates, and tried to make sure no intruders get a hold of the pizza. Both of our horns glowed so we can see around the train, which was dark by the way, and I keep looking back at the pizza making sure it was safe. We kept looking around, and then I heard a noise in front of me. I started walking backwards, and I kept on going until I knocked into Twilight. I got startled and started shooting flares everywhere.

“Whoa! What happened Flare?” Twilight asked.

“I got startled, you startled me.” I said.

“You knocked into me; I was just searching this crate.” Twilight reminded me.

“So if you’re over here, and I’m here, and Mareami isn’t seen at all on the Equestria map, then what’s that over there?” I asked, pointing to a blue pony wearing a black mask and a black suit. “It’s a ninja!” I yelled. The ninja pounced on us and we started to fight it. I activated my hornsaber as Twilight started shooting at it with her magic. The ninja hopped around the train, trying to get us while he could, but then another ninja pounced on Twilight, and she fell over. The ninja was about to punch her in the face, but she used her magic to protect herself. We kept on fighting the ninjas, but the ninjas did a good number on us, but we couldn’t give up.

Back at Ponyville, AppleJack, Rarity, and Fluttershy all joined up together to catch their breath. “These…. These fish are….. mighty tough!” AppleJack said, all tired out.

“Look what that fish did with my hair!” Rarity whined.

“We…. might need some help.” AppleJack said.

“I’ll tell you what we didn’t do. We were supposed to relax them, and all we did was stress them out even more.” Flutters said.

“So what do we do?” Rarity asked. “Do you know how to relax them?”

“No, I don’t, but I know of one that might.” Flutters said.

A few minutes later, “So let me get this straight.” Spike said as the three ponies went over to Twilight’s house to see him. “You want my help to save Flare’s fish from causing destruction to the town?”

“It would mean the world to us!” Flutters said.

“Well, ok. I know how to get Flare’s fish to relax. Flare tells me about his fish all the time, but it’s gonna have to cost you.” Spike said mischievously.

“Show him the case, Rarity.” Flutters instructed her. Rarity places the briefcase she was holding on the ground and opening it, revealing pack of gems.

“WHOA! I hit the jackpot!” Spike cried in excitement. “Alright, I’m in! It’s quite simple really.”

“What do we need to do to get these fish to relax?” AppleJack asked.

“Some fish might take harder to relax then others, but with fish those size, it’s going to take a lot to relax them.” Spike explained.

“Just tell us what we need to do, Spike! We can handle it!” AppleJack said and winked.

“Darrel is a happy fish. To relax him, you’re going to have to make him happy. Play a little game with him, maybe he’ll cooperate.” Spike suggested.

“But those fish are beasts! How can we make them happy just by playing with them?” Rarity asked.

“They maybe monsters on the outside, but in the inside they’re still those happy loving little fish that Flare knew and loved, and it’s up to us to save them.” Flutters said.

“Exactly! As for Yoyo, he likes to eat. Just give him some food and he’ll be fine.” Spike said.

“Got plenty of apples!” AppleJack said.

“Or I could just feed him the fish food, and he’ll return to normal.” Flutters suggested.

“Piddles usually sleeps. Just make him fall asleep, that should be relaxing enough.” Spike said. “As for Pearl, just take some pictures of her. Like you Rarity, she likes to be… how you say… fabulous.”

“I wouldn’t blame her.” Rarity said.

“As for Rainbow and Dorthey…. Sheesh. They both like to be in charge. I guess you could just tell Dorthey she’s the boss, and maybe she’ll calm down, I assume.” Spike said.

“What about Rainbow?” AppleJack asked.

“I have no idea. I think you’re on your own for him.” Spike said. “Rainbow was always so laid back.”

“Ok, ah guess it’s time to go fry some fish!” AppleJack said mischievously while carrying Fluttershy’s food launcher.

“WHAT?!” Flutters shockingly said.

“Wow, that didn’t sound right at all, AppleJack!” Spike said shockingly.

“Sorry, sorry, but we’re all just sittin’ here like fish in a barrel, huh?” AppleJack teased, and chuckled a bit. Everypony just glared at her.

“You’re not good at puns.” Rarity said to AJ.

“Then again, no puns are really good if you ask me.” Spike said.

Back on the train, Twilight and I continued fighting those ninjas. I know it’s pretty ironic to be fighting ninjas, but that’s what they were. One of the ninjas bucked Twilight with their hind legs, and she passed out when she hit a crate. The blue ninja was signaling the green ninja to do something, which turned out to be opening the big train car doors at the side and try to push one of my crate of pizzas out of the train and over the cliff edge. “NO! Those pizzas belong to a royal banquet, which isn’t really a bank, because I doubt there’s money, but you’re pushing out priceless treasure, and I will not stand by while you destroy it all!” I yelled at them. I used my magic to knock the green ninja out with one of the crates. The blue ninja started fighting me again, but even with my magic, this ninja is tough! I really needed Twilight’s help at this point, but she was still knocked out. Just then the blue ninja took a small crate and hit me on the head with it, and then I fell on the floor. The ninja knew it was the time to push one of the crates out of the train, while I just lay there, helpless, and in pain, and missing the new episode of Master Chef tonight.

Back at home, ponies were still running away from the killer fish. Pinkie Pie was throwing cupcakes at it and Rainbow Dash tried to confuse them by flying around their face, but neither of them would do any good. The Wonderbolts came to the rescue as well, but what makes you think they could do it? “WOO! Nothing can stop the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow Dash yelled. Just then, they all plummet to the ground next to Rainbow. “I stand corrected.” She said. Just then, AppleJack ran over to Pinkie who was throwing cupcakes at Dorthey.

“TAKE THAT YOU BIG MEANIE! Try to break our town why don’t ya!” Pinkie yelled.

“Pinkie, what are ya doin’?” AppleJack asked.

“Assaulting with cupcakes! Duh!” Pinkie said rolling her eyes.

“Don’t worry about that, ah got an important task for you!” AppleJack said, holding Pinkie’s shoulders.

“Ooooo! A special task? TELL ME! TELL ME!” Pinkie yelled in excitement while hopping up and down.

“Ah need ya to entertain Darrel. Play with him, or make him amused.” AppleJack instructed her.

“Oh, I can do that!” Pinkie said.

“Good luck, Pinkie!” AppleJack said. While she was about to run off, Pinkie stopped her.

“Which one is Darrel again?” Pinkie asked.

“The black one.” AppleJack reminded her.

“Oh, it’s the fun fish! Okey dokey!” Pinkie said.

“Ah’ll go handle Yoyo. Got some apples right here!” AppleJack said.

“And ah know just the song to put Piddles right to sleep!” Engie said.

“Dorthey will be no problem to take down!” Rainbow Dash said.

“I know just the thing to make Pearl look so fabulous, nopony would resist!” Rarity said.

“Are ya sure you can handle Rainbow, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked Fluttershy.

“Absolutely! I couldn’t think of a much easier fish than Rainbow.” Flutters said.

“Alright, but Spike said he’s a tough one.” AppleJack reminded her.

“I know.” Flutters nodded. “Well, wish me luck!”

“C’mon! Let’s go get Flare’s fish!” AppleJack yelled. Darrel kept swimming around really fast around town picking on all the buildings. He was currently picking on Psyche’s house.

“Hey! What’s the big idea!” Psyche yelled. Darrel roared at Psyche, while spraying some saliva on him. “Say it, don’t spray it.” He complained.

“Hiiiiiiiii Darrel!” Pinkie yelled. Darrel confusingly looked over at Pinkie who was carrying her one-pony band instruments. “Wanna have some fun?” Darrel hopped up and down excitedly. “Do you, Darrel? Do you wanna have some fun?!” Darrel nodded very fast. “Well, I know just the thing for you!” Pinkie starts dancing and singing with her instruments, and Darrel danced along, but causing a few quakes which knocked over market stalls, and ponies toppled over. After all the dancing, Darrel started to relax. Pinkie hopped on by Darrel and inserted some regular fish flakes in his mouth. Darrel started shrinking back to his regular fish self. Fluttershy quickly flew over, picked up Darrel, and placed Darrel in a bowl full of water, and Darrel was swimming around happy.

“One down, five to go.” Flutters said.

“Awww, I was having fun being a monster!” Darrel whined. “Hey, Pinkie? How about playing those instruments for me again?”

Meanwhile, back at the train, the ninja was just about to kick one of the pizza crates out the train. I crawled over and grabbed the ninja’s leg, but I was too late. He already kicked the crate out. “NOOOOOOOOO!” I cried. “Do you realize what you’ve done?!” It was too late for that crate, but there was still a second crate, and I had to stop him, but I was feeling very weak. He didn’t bother fighting me; he just pushed me over, and grabbed the other crate. Luckily, I used my rail-blast spell on him, and he got pushed to the other side of the train, hit the wall real hard, and got knocked out. I was going to push the crate back in, but the green ninja was awake again and he tackled me. I couldn’t take this anymore, I didn’t want to come to this, but I had to throw the ninja out of the train over the cliff. What other choice did I have? I regret doing it, but luckily he had a grappling hook, and started swinging back up, but the train was moving so fast. He started climbing the rope back up, and I tried to detach the hook, but the hook was on the train car pretty tight.

Back in Ponyville, AppleJack laid apples around the ground, and yelled; “Yoohoo! Yoyo! Got some fresh food here for y’all!” Yoyo was already occupied, eating all the food from the stalls in the market. AppleJack knew the apples couldn’t be enough; she then saw a stall with some pies on it. AppleJack used her lasso to bring the pies over to her, place some of the regular fish flakes inside, and she called out for Yoyo again. Yoyo sniffed the pies from the distance and started floating towards the pies, and ate them. Yoyo was feeling pretty relaxed, and he shrunk back to his normal yoyo loach self. Fluttershy came as fast as she could to put Yoyo in the bowl with Darrel.

“Hey Yoyo, how was your buffet?” Darrel asked.
“Pretty good, but I don’t think I’ll be able to eat for a month!” Yoyo said sickly as he rubbed his stomach and burped.

Darrel sniffed Yoyo’s breath. “Have you been eating pie?”

“Four to go!” Flutters said.

Back on the train, the green ninja still kept climbing the rope, trying to get to me. I kept trying to detach the grappling hook, but I still couldn’t do it. I even tried using my hornsaber to cut the rope, but that didn’t work either. The green ninja grabbed my leg after he climbed high enough to reach me, but just before he did anything, I said, “I’d look to the left if I were you.” The ninja confusingly looked to the left of him. “No, my left.” I corrected him, the ninja looked to the right of him, and then he gasped because we were approaching a tunnel, and the green ninja SLAMMED right into the rocks on the side of the tunnel, and then he started sliding off slowly, and there were stars floating around his head. He was ok though, but he had no hope of catching up to us. That’s the green ninja gone, now for the blue one.

Back in town, Pearl floated by until she reached Rarity’s shop. She smiled, and she tried to reach her fin inside until she got some dresses. She tried them on, but they tore off because she was too big for the dresses. Pearl roared again, and was just about to smash Rarity’s shop, but she had a lip stick balm on her fin. She put some on her lips, and tried to find something to see her reflection, so she smashed the Ponyville Water Tower, and looked through the reflection of the water, and she smiled big, knowing she was gorgeous. Rarity came along and gave Pearl some fish food. She ate the food, and shrunk back to her old self. “Wow, that was easy!” Rarity said with glee. “Now if only there was a Staples around here.”

Back on the train, I was just feeling revealed that the green ninja was gone, but the blue ninja woke up and tackled me. We rolled around until we got outside. I was laying in the middle between the two train cars, and he was laying on top of me; he got up, and started climbing the ladder to the top of the car. “Sigh. Always with the top of the car! Always has to be a fight up there!” I complained. I climbed the ladder and followed him up. I pewed, pew pew pew, at him with my laser blast, and he threw some ninja stars at me, and WHOA, one of those stars tore my vest! I got really angry. “HEY! NOPONY, AND I MEAN NOPONY, MESSES WITH MY VEST!” I tackled him and started pounding him, but to my stupidity, he was stronger. He kicked me off him and I landed hard on the roof of the train car. Ouch! Felt like the blood in my brain was leaking!

Back in town, Dorthey was attacking the Cutie Mark Crusaders treehouse, shaking it around and such, and the crusaders inside started screaming. “Don’t worry, Rainbow Dash will be here to save the day!” Scoots said excitedly.

“Y’all always relying on Rainbow Dash! What if it’s Mare Do Well that saves the day?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Mare Do Well is nothing compared to Rainbow Dash!” Scoots said. Just then, Mare Do Well starts flying around the Cutie Mark treehouse, trying to get Dorthey to get her attention on her.

“See? Told ya!” Apple Bloom said.

“GO MARE DO WELL!” Sweetie Belle cried.

“Dorthey the fish, your rain of terror has ended!” Mare Do Well yelled.

“Since when did Mare Do Well talk?” Sweets asked.

“But I have to say…. you are the boss, Dorthey. The boss! You rule everything now! You’re in charge of the tank now!” Mare Do Well said. Dorthey smiled. “And also pretty awesome.” Mare Do Well added. Dorthey blushed and pouted with her fin. “Here, have some awesome food, for an awesome boss!” Mare Do Well said, giving Dorthey the fish food. Dorthey eats the food and shrinks back to her regular self. Fluttershy comes and places Dorthey safely back in the bowl.

“How was your time, Dorthey?” Pearl asked.

“Pretty well! It seems I’m the boss now!” Dorthey said.

“Says who?” Yoyo asked.

“Says that masked mare!” Dorthey said.

“You were awesome, Mare Do Well!” Apple Bloom said in excitement.

“Ehhh, Rainbow Dash could’ve done better.” Scoots said with a boring tone.

“I sure have, Scoots! I sure would have!” Mare Do Well said, taking off her mask, revealing to be Rainbow Dash.

“Oooo, plot twist!” Sweets said.

“HA! Told you it would be Rainbow Dash that would save the day!” Scoots said excitedly.

Over with Piddles, he was digging lots of holes on the ground, but not for long. Engie comes by with his guitar and sings One Step Forward by The Desert Rose Band, and eventually Piddles fell asleep. That was the time to feed Piddles the food, and he goes back to normal. “Ya done good, Engineer! Ya done good!” Engie said to himself.

Back on the train, I was laying down on the roof, in pain, and I look up at the ninja. “Say good night to your pizza, Crimson!” the ninja said mischievously.

“Oh, you do talk.” I said.

“Y-yeah, why wouldn’t I?” the ninja asked.

“For a second there, I thought you were the same voice actor Doomguy, Chell, Gordon Freeman, Matthew Kane, the Rookie from ODST, Crono from Chrono Trigger, Tom the Rock, I can go on!” I said.

“Well…. time to say goodbye to your pizza, Flare! Once I press this detonator, the whole train car explodes, and your pizza will be gone for good!” the ninja said.

“And us along with it.” I reminded him.

“Oh…. I didn’t think of that.” The ninja said.

“Are you one of Cookie Cutter’s ninja padwans?” I asked.

“SAY GOODNIGHT!” the ninja yelled, but before he could press the detonator, Twilight appeared behind him and knocked him out with one of my pizza crates.

“See? I told you that you needed help!” Twilight said to me mischievously.

“I never been so glad, Twilight! You saved all the pizza crates and our lives! I couldn’ve done this without you!” I smiled at her and said.

“Oh this? This is the pizza crate that one of the ninjas through out the train.” Twilight said.

“You saved the lost crate? Twilight, you’re the best! I never doubted you for a second!” I said, as she gave me a hoof up and I hugged her. I looked over her shoulder and saw a tunnel coming. “Twilight? TUNNEL!” I yelled. Twilight suddenly used her teleportation to teleport her, me, and the pizza crate back inside the train car. “Phew! Way to think fast, sista!”

“Hey, it’s no problem! You would’ve done the same for me, right?” Twilight asked, smiling at me.

“Y-yeah…. Sure.” I said nervously. Didn’t know what else to say. Twilight play punched me in the shoulder and we laughed all the way back to Canterlot.

Back in Ponyville, there was still one more fish to take care of. “Alright, Fluttershy! That’s nearly all the fish. Only one more.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah, but it’s the toughest one of all.” Spike said.

“Piece of cake! How bad can one fish to be?” Rainbow Dash bravely asked.

“Maybe two fish!” Pinkie said. “Or maybe a red fish! OR A BLUE FISH!”

“Yeah, I highly doubt that.” Rainbow Dash said. Rainbow (the fish not Dash) was floating around near town hall, circling it.

“There’s Rainbow! He’s at town hall!” AppleJack said.

“How are we going to relax him?” Rarity asked.

“Ah know just the thing.” Engie said, carrying his guitar, and walking towards Rainbow.

“Uhh, Engie, I don’t think that’s going to work on him.” Spike warned him.

“Relax, Spike! Worked on one fish! What are the odds of it not affecting the other?” Engie asked. Engie was playing a country song for Rainbow, but Rainbow took his guitar and smashed it in the ground. “HEY! Ah was supposed to do that after the song!” Engie complained to him.

“HEY, Rainbow?! YOU’RE THE BOSS! You’re the best! The most awesome fish in the world!” Rainbow Dash cried out.

“HEY! She said I was! What’s the big deal? She saying that to every fish she sees?” Dorthey complained.

“And the most awesome boss fish will eat his food, right?” Rainbow Dash asked, showing Rainbow the fish food, but Rainbow smacks the food out of her hooves. “HEY! That’s not what the bossiest of all fish does!” Rainbow then smacks Rainbow Dash with his fin and she flies into a radish cart.

Meanwhile, our train arrives at Canterlot, and Twilight and I push the crates of pizzas over to the castle to make the delivery. “This is so possum grade awesome, Pinkie- I mean Twilight!” I said.

“Why did you call me Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

“I see her a lot and I get mixed up with names a lot. I even called my dad, grandma once, and my uncle Water. I even called Fluttershy Trixie once! How do they even compare?! It’s too bad those ninjas had no amusement into trying to destroy this pizza. I mean, what can you expect if you’re hired by Boorlie Pomodoro? I kinda have the feeling he’s responsible for hiring those ninjas.” I said.

“Well, what can you do, Flare? Business wars are like that.” Twilight said. Just then, my cell phone starts to ring. I answered it.

“Hey Flutters! How’s the fish sittin’ going?” I asked.

“Flutters? Noooo, no, not Flutters.” Boorlie said on the phone.

“Boorlie! Did you hire those ninjas into attacking our cargo train?” I asked angrily.

“I have no idea what you mean. I’m just here to send my good chap, Flare Gun a little message.” Boorlie said.

“I’m not your good chap, Boorlie.” I corrected him. “I’m your BAD chap! BAD chap!”

“Well, my bad chap, the message I have for you is that… your fish… they’re… attacking Ponyville. I believe you should come back right away and take care of the problem, and your friend Flutters too for being responsible for it.” Boorlie said.

“Nice try, Boorlie, but I’m not falling for any of your tricks. You’re not going to stop us from succeeding in this delivery. You have a nice day now, my bad chap. Good-bye.” I said.

“But Flare, you’re fish are in grave-“ Boorlie started but I already hung up before he could continue. “Pffft! Yeah right! My fish are ok! Fluttershy is doing an awesome job in taking care of them!” I said to Twilight. “Boorlie won’t have me fall for any of his tricks!”

“Smart move, Flare.” Twilight nodded.

“If Boorlie hasn’t caused me grief in the past, then maybe I would’ve believed him.” I said.

So Twilight and I walked over to the front door of the palace, where the guards were blocking our way in. “Halt! You have business here?” a guard asked.

“Are you talking to me, or her?” I asked.

“You! Twilight is allowed here anytime.” a guard said.

“Yeah, Twilight, you’re allowed here anytime, but I obviously have to tell them my business!” I said to her with an attitude.

“I’m sorry, Flare. What do you need me to do?” Twilight asked.

“Tell these guards to let me through! This pizza is for the banquet!” I yelled.

“Hmm…. Likely story. I’ll have to notify the princesses first.” A guard said. The guard went over to the intercom system and spook through it. “Princess? Twilight Sparkle is here, and….. uhh, who are you?”

“YOUR MOM!” I said rudely to him.

“Flare Gun. His name is Flare Gun.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, I could say my own name, thank you very much!” I said to Twilight with an attitude.

“Yeah….. and a Mr. Flare Gun.” The guard said through the intercom.

“Wow, and you need permission from us to let those two in?” Luna asked from the intercom.

“Twilight is alright, but this ‘Flare Gun’…..” the guard said suspiciously.

“I feel insulted that you’d need permission to let him in. He’s a personal friend of mine, and he should be treated as such. LET HIM IN!” Luna ordered the guards.

“Oh, yes, your highness! Right away!” the guard said startling. “Our apologies, Mr. Gun. We had no idea that our princess as a big bond over you.”

“You’re darn right I do! Now step aside, thunder-heads!” I ordered them. The guards moved aside and let us through, and the two of us walked inside the palace.

“You know, Flare. You didn’t have to be that rude to the guards.” Twilight suggested.

“Well, I’m sorry, but those guards seemed pretty rude to me as well. I’ve been to this castle many times! How can they not know me?!” I asked.

“I’ve lived in this castle for a few years. You’ve only visited here for, I dunno, 8 times?” Twilight guessed.

“10. I’ve been here 10 times.” I corrected her.

“Fine, 10.” Twilight said.

“Well, 11, counting now.” I added.

“Twilight Sparkle! Flare Gun! Pleasure having you both here!” Celestia said.

“Thank you, Princess Celestia!” Twilight said.

“If only my welcoming was a little more…. well…. welcoming.” I said.

“I see you’ve brought us the pizza for the banquet! A bit later then expected, but a job well done.” Trollestia said. I said ‘Trollestia’, because that seemed like a Trollestia moment right there.

“Yep! Had no trouble getting here. Smooth ride!” I said.

“Indeed!” Celestia said. “Thank you very much! This pizza will do very nicely.”

“And that’ll be a total of 857 bits.” I said.

“FLARE!” Twilight shockingly said.

“What?” I asked.

“You can’t ask the princesses to pay for this!” Twilight said.

“Why not? Business is business.” I said.

“It’s quite alright, Twilight.” Celestia said.

“See? It’s quite alright, Twilight.” I repeated.

“QUITE alright.” Twilight said. “C’mon, you expect the princess, our goddess, our ruler, my faithful teacher, to pay for ALL THIS PIZZA?!”

“Easy, sista! There’s no need to spaz out about it, like a shotgun.” I said.

“Really, it’s alright, Twilight. I like to give my fair share. Do you accept credit cards?” Celestia asked.

“Sure do!” I said, holding out my credit card machine.

“Hang on, I wanna guess. Is that Equestria Express, Visa, or MasterCard? I assume its Visa, because Visa beats all credit cards!” I said. Celestia swiped her card through my machine, and it was revealed to be Equestria Express.

“OOOOOH, so close! Equestria Express was going to be my next guess anyway. Now, just sign your name.” Celestia writes her signature on my credit card machine. “Aww, you even added a little heart on it!”

“Of course! Luna already took smiley faces though.” Celestia said. A receipt comes out of the machine and I give it to her. “Your receipt.”

“Thank you!” Celestia said, taking it.

“I hope you enjoy your banquet, princess! Hope things go well with Germaney too!” Twilight said.

“Don’t worry, it’s all under control. Would you two like to join us?” Celestia asked.

“Twilight can if she wants, but I have to head back. Besides, I already know how the food tastes like.” I said.

“I’d be honored, princess, but I have to get back to my studies.” Twilight said.

“You need to learn to put those books down once and a while, Twilight. Just because I give you an assignment, doesn’t mean you have to do it right away.” Celestia advised her.

“I only do what I must, princess.” Twilight said.

“Very well then. You two have a nice trip back to Ponyville. My guards can give you a ride if you want.” Celestia suggested.

“After that trip I had, and no matter how much I like trains….” I said but after I said ‘I like trains’, a train went by in the castle, and ran over a few guards.

“We’re ok!” the guards said.

“I thought you’d never ask!” I said in relief.

“Alright! You two have a pleasant evening.” Celestia said, taking the pizzas over to the dining hall.

“You too, princess!” Twilight waved.

“Bye, marshmallow horse!” I waved.

“Ready to head back, Flare?” Twilight asked.

“Right after I give Fluttershy a call.” I said, taking out my phone.

Back in Ponyville, the ponies were doing everything they can to calm down Rainbow, but not even Fluttershy can calm him down. Meanwhile, Fluttershy phone starts ringing, and she answers it. “Hello?” Flutters asked.

“Hey, Flutters! We delivered the pizza!” I said.

“Oh, that’s…. great, Flare!” Flutters said as Pinkie was trying to use her instruments on Rainbow, but Rainbow threw a rock at Pinkie’s tuba, which messed her up.

“The princess was kind enough to let us use her carriage to get back in town. I assume we’ll be back in around ten minutes.” I said.

“Oh, that’s…. great, Flare!” Flutters said in worry.

“How are my fishies doing?” I asked.

“Oh, they’re….. great, Flare!” Flutters said.

“You repeat yourself too much.” I said. “Anyways, you know what’s funny? You know my business rival Boorlie?”

“Y-yeah.” Flutters said.

“He said my fish turned into mutant monsters! HA! Can you believe that?” I laughed.

“Ah… ha ha ha, very funny.” Flutters laughed very nervously.

“Just a way to get me to cancel my order. Oh what a jokster!” I shook my head. “Anyways, I’ll see you in a little while! Talk to you later!”

“Ok! B-bye!” Flutters said, hanging up nervously. “Hmm, since when did I have a cell phone?” she asked herself.

“Fluttershy, we can’t take it anymore! Nothing is working against the fish!” AppleJack cried.

“Well, we have to act fast. Flare said he’s gonna be home in TEN MINUTES!” Flutters said.

“Shoot! We’ll never get Rainbow back to normal AND clean up his trailer in time!” AppleJack said.

“Oh what are we gonna do?” Flutters asked herself. Just then, Blaze flies by in the sky with his pet phoenix Apollo, and then Flutters had an idea. “BLAZE?!”

“Yeah, Fluttershy?” Blaze asked, flying down to her.

“We need to borrow Apollo for a second.” Flutters said.

“Sure thing! What do you need him for?” Blaze asked.

“Since Apollo and Flare’s fish are friends, maybe he can communicate with Rainbow, calming him down.” Flutters suggested.

“Well…. it seems like a long shot, but why not?” Blaze shrugged. Just then, Blaze communicated with his phoenix and then Apollo flies up to Rainbow, who starts shaking town hall, and he starts talking to him.

“Rainbow, my aquatic friend, what has happened to you?” Apollo asked.

“I am more powerful than you can ever imagine, you puny little duck!” Rainbow said to him. Wow, that voice!

“Duck?! Rainbow, what’s gotten into you?!” Apollo asked.

“BECAUSE! All those other fish hold me back; even Flare! I’ll show them!” Rainbow yelled.

“Rainbow, this isn’t the way!” Apollo said. “How are the others holding you back?”

“By thinking I don’t deserve to be the leader of the tank!” Rainbow said.

“Rainbow, are they saying that?” Apollo asked.

“Just… SHUT UP! They gone against me! DON’T YOU GO AGAINST ME TOO!” Rainbow yelled.

“Blaze, are you sure your phoenix can handle this?” Flutters asked.

“Much like I’m Flare’s best friend, my pet is the best friend of Flare’s pets. He’s the only one who can.” Blaze said.

“Rainbow, I know how you feel.” Apollo said.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU PENGUIN?!” Rainbow yelled, punching town hall. Aww, how is that insulting? Being a penguin is awesome! Penguins are cool!

“I know how it feels to be unappreciated.” Apollo said.

“Yeah…. right.” Rainbow said sarcastically.

“There was a time where I thought my master had forgotten all about me because of his Rainbow haired mate.” Apollo said.

“Of course not! We’re just animals, Apollo! We’re nothing more than their prisoners!” Rainbow said.

“That is not true! We are their companions, their friends.” Apollo said.

“Then why did you call Blaze your master?” Rainbow asked.

“It is a show of respect. I am honor bound. Not many ponies know this, but when Blaze found me, he saved my life.” Apollo said.

“Really?” Rainbow asked.

“Really.” Apollo nodded.

“Tell me more.” Rainbow requested.

“I was laying there in the Everfree Forest. Both my wings were broken, and I was pleading for help, but nopony came.” Apollo explained as Rainbow Dash quickly leaves some fish flakes on Rainbow’s fin. “Except for my master. He could speak the language of the phoenix.”

“Wow.” Rainbow said shockingly as he eats the flakes. “That is truly amazing of him to do a good deed like that. Perhaps… perhaps my fish friends don’t hold me back. Maybe I do need them. Thank you, Apollo.”

“You’re welcome, Rainbow.” Apollo said as Rainbow shrinks back to his regular self, and Fluttershy puts him back in the bowl with the others, and Apollo flies down to them.

“Ever since, I have been more than his pet; I have been his friend.” Apollo said.

“Tell the story again, I wasn’t listening!” Darrel cried.

“Thank you, Apollo!” Flutters said to him. Apollo screeches at Fluttershy.

“What did he say, Blaze?” Flutters asked.

“He said, ‘anything for my friends’.” Blaze said and then Flutters smiled. A few minutes went by; Twilight and I made it back to Ponyville by the help of the royal guards.

“Thank you, sirs!” Twilight said.

“Yeah thanks.” I said. “Tell your buddies back at the front doors of the castle that if they don’t let me in right away next time….”

“Flare, c’mon.” Twilight instructed me. So I followed her over back to my trailer, where AppleJack and Rarity were just fixing it up after it broke before.

“AppleJack! Rarity! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Oh, Flare! We’re just…. fixing up your door! It broke before.” Rarity said embarrassedly.

“How did it break? That door is unbreakable.” I said.

“Well…. Ummm….” Rarity said, not knowing what to say next.

“Are you hiding something from me?” I asked them suspiciously. AppleJack and Rarity were really nervous. “HA! I’m kidding!” I teased. “Where’s Mama Flutters?”

“Inside with your fish.” AppleJack said.

“Thanks!” I said as I headed inside my trailer.

“So, how was your trip with Flare, Twilight?” AppleJack asked.

“Oh you know….. nothing special. Just another trip to Canterlot.” Twilight said.

“Flutters? I’m back! Where are my little angels?” I asked.

“And then this little Pinkie went wee wee wee, all the way home!” Flutters said, reading a story to my fish.

“Is that the whole story? This little Pinkie went wee wee wee all the way home?” Piddles asked. “I mean that’s ALL she said! That was barely a story! I really don’t get it!”

“Mama Flutters?” I asked.

“Oh, you’re back! Good timing too!” Flutters said.

“Yep! It looks like you have everything under control! Thank you for taking care of my fish, sista!” I said.

“Hey, it was no trouble at all!” Flutters said as she smiled at me.

“Well, I’m glad! Maybe you should be my full-time fish sitter then!” I suggested.

“I would love to!” Flutters said. “But, there’s one thing you should know.”

“They weren’t giant mutants and tried to terrorize the town, right?” I asked her suspiciously.

“NO! What made you think that?” Flutters asked nervously.

“It was a joke! Holy Wizard of Hope, you’re so gullible!” I chuckled. “Boorlie made that joke earlier. It turns out he could never be any more wrong.”

“Oh…. I’m sorry.” Flutters said.

“No worries. What were you gonna say to me?” I asked.

“This fish food.” Flutters said, carrying the food with the biohazard symbol on it. “You shouldn’t leave it out for other’s to take. It could be poisonous.”

“You’re right, Flutters. I should’ve told you about this product. It isn’t poisonous, but it’s bad. Thanks for telling me.” I said. “I better give this to Twilight. I had enough of carrying this around.”

“Yes, you should.” Flutters said.

“Thanks again, Flutters!” I said giving her a big hug.

“Aww, isn’t this a happy ending?” Pearl asked.

“Yeah, but those fish flakes that we ate before really hit the spot!” Yoyo said excitedly.

“But they turned us into monsters!” Piddles reminded him.

“And I’m still the leader!” Dorthey said.

“Uhh, no you’re not.” Rainbow corrected her.

“Awww.” Dorthey said sadly.

“There is no leaders in this tank. We’re all equal!” Rainbow said to her.

“Ehh… nah.” Dorthey said.

“Well, it looks like there’s only one thing left to do!” Darrel said, and he started swimming around the tank singing, “Left fin, right fin, left fin, right fin…” and then all the other fish joined along with him. Well, that’s the chapter! I bet you’re wondering. Did I ever figure out that my fish were mutants? No, I didn’t. In fact, I don’t even know if this story is even true. I just assumed so. I have no idea what happened back in Ponyville. It could be another parasprite infection for all I know after the damage I seen in town. Also, the moral of this chapter: Don’t leave unidentified equipment for other’s to use because it can leave to the destruction of an entire town, or maybe worse. Whatever. Just leave everything in a secure place so no one will be confused.

Author's Notes:

When I originally made this chapter, I made this chapter before I made chapters 24 and 25 because I knew exactly how to do this story but the other chapters were difficult.

This chapter is the very first chapter with Flare's fish acting as main characters in a chapter. I wanted to make the fish the stars of a chapter for once, and they will again in Book 3. I also wanted to see a bond between Fluttershy and Flare's fish, which is why I had Fluttershy as the pet sitter.

It's also about time Flare had a big royal pizza delievery, so I had that be the reason Flare goes out of town, and I decided Twilight should go with him since she's close with the princesses and is also in good help for the troubles the pair go through as of course Boorlie wouldn't want this to happen. It's good to give Boorlie one more chapter in Book 2 because we have a new antagonist next chapter, and then Dr. Swinebutt will be the antagonist in the 3-part finale afterwards.

Roses Are Gold

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Rainbow Dash and her husband Blaze Goldheart were fast asleep in their house above my trailer. I couldn’t really sleep that well last night because I was afraid their house was going to fall on me, but we’re not starting the story with me, we’re starting the story with them! Rainbow wakes up, yawning hugely, and climbing out of bed. She walks over to the bathroom to brush her mane, and she goes over to Blaze saying; “Wake up, sleepy head!” Blaze was still asleep. Rainbow kept booping his nose, waiting for him to wake up. “Hey, Goldheart? Get up!” Blaze just swiped Rainbow’s hoof away, and turned over. Rainbow removed his covers, and his pillow, and whacking him with the pillow. “HEY, WAKE UP!”

“WHOA! Wah?” Blaze woke up, and fell out of bed. “Dang it, Rainbow! Always waking me up like I’m in some sort of military or something!”

“Uh, hello? You’re part of the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow reminded him. “This is why you do late night training! It’s 2:00 in the afternoon!”

“Sorry, babe.” Blaze said, rubbing his head. “Spitfire wouldn’t leave me alone last night.”

“That’s Spitfire for ya, all work and no play!” Rainbow said.

“Yeah.” Blaze said, climbing out of bed, cracking his neck and stretches.

“Blaze, something weird is going on.” Rainbow said.

“Oh yeah?” Blaze asked.

“All of a sudden, I’m craving eggs. Weird, never had cravings before.” Rainbow said. “Except for that one time I craved burning tire rubber.” A cutaway shows Rainbow walking past a tire refinery. She smirks and then starts doing many of her awesome tricks in them, but as she was doing tricks, she accidentally twisted her wing, and landed on a tire. Once she got up, she licked her lips and tasted the tire around her mouth. From that day forward, she ordered tires from Pepcolts, and usually either fries them or puts them in soup. The cutaway ends.

“I’m sure your craving is nothing. I can make you some eggs if you want.” Blaze said.

“I guess you’re right! To the kitchen it is!” Rainbow said as the scene transitions with a giant Batman logo popping in and then going back. Blaze and Rainbow both walked over to the kitchen to get some breakfast, but Rainbow’s sister Candy Cotton was already there, cooking something.

“Oh! Hey, Candy!” Blaze said.

“Hey, Blaze! Hey, Rainbow!” Candy said.

“Nice to see you, squirt! What’s for breakfast?” Rainbow asked.

“Eggs and bagels!” Candy said.

“Nice!” Blaze said.

“Sounds good! I’m starved!” Rainbow said.

Candy giggled. “Hi, Starve! I’m Candy!”

Blaze sighed. “I hate it when Flare encourages her to make these jokes.”

“Hey! He’s also the one that taught me how to cook!” Candy said.

“He taught you how to cook?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah! You two are never around to teach me much, but it’s ok. I’m always there for you two!” Candy said.

“Sorry, Candy. We’ve just been so busy.” Blaze said.

“You know. He’s a Wonderbolt, I’m almost a wonderbolt, but it’s great to see you, squirt.” Rainbow said, messing up Candy’s mane.

Candy starts giggling. “Stop messing up my mane, Rainbow! That’s the wind’s job! You’re gonna make the wind mad!”

“Aww, but you’re my sister! It’s my job to bug ya! I couldn’t ask for a better one than you!” Rainbow said, booping her nose.

“Yeah! You’re really somepony we can live without, sis-in-law!” Blaze said.

“Thank you, Blaze! I know we had a lot of trouble getting along, but I think of you as more of a dad, then my own dad.” Candy said. “Don’t tell the wind though.”

“Thanks, Candy! You’re like a daughter to me too!” Blaze said.

“Nah, you don’t mean that!” Candy said.

“I do! I really do!” Blaze said.

“I’d like to see you prove it, Goldheart!” Candy said, smirking at him.

Rainbow giggles. “You’re as bad as I am, Candy, but you should know we love having you around! Nopony could ever replace you!”

“Oh…. well then…..” Candy said, drinking up her orange juice. “Mmm! That’s good OJ!” They were all silent for a few moments. “Awww, come here you both!” Candy tackle hugs Blaze, and Rainbow joins along, having their own little loving moment, but as the hug was going on, Candy felt a little shove coming from inside Rainbow. Candy felt insulted, and let go of her. “My Luna, Rainbow! If you really wanted me to let go, you could’ve just said so.”

“What do you mean? I didn’t do anything.” Rainbow said, confusingly.

“You pushed me with your huge gut! Flare’s right, you need to lose some weight! I mean seriously! Look at that thing hanging out!” Candy complained.

Rainbow looks down at her gut. “Sweet Celestia!” Blaze just stood there, looking at the gut. “BLAZE! What is going on with me?! How am I gaining weight?”

“Rainbow…… I don’t think you’re gaining weight.” Blaze said, looking pretty surprised.

“What do you mean?” Rainbow asked.

”I mean, I think you should see a doctor.” Blaze said.

“What? Is this bad?” Rainbow asked.

“I don’t know, but I think I might have a clue to what this is, but we should talk to a doctor to know for sure.” Blaze said.

“For a second, I had the feeling you swallowed Tank.” Candy said to Rainbow. Just then, Tank was flying by and he crashes into Apollo’s head.

“Ow!” Apollo cried. Shortly after, Rainbow, Blaze, and Candy all went over to the hospital where Rainbow was getting tested to see the source of her weight gain. Candy and Blaze were in the waiting room. Blaze was pacing around, back and forth, while Candy was sitting there, feeling really bored.

“I’m bored!” Candy complained.

“Well sorry to hear that, Candy,” Blaze said annoyingly, “for the 18th time.”

“I don’t like hospitals, but luckily I was never a patient in one.” Candy said.

“Almost every foal in the world started off in a hospital. Of course you were a patient in one.” Blaze corrected her.

“How do you know? You weren’t there. Don’t pretend you were there.” Candy reminded him.

Right before Blaze was about to snap, Rainbow stepped out, with tears in her eyes. “Rainbow, what is it?” Blaze asked.

“I am not gaining weight.” Rainbow said.

“I kinda figured it. What is it then?” Blaze asked.

“I’m….. I’m….. PREGENANT!” Rainbow yelled.

“WHAT?!” Blaze yelled. Blaze knocks backwards, and leans down on one of the waiting room chairs. Blaze’s head was spinning! Oh I wish his head was spinning not in a figure-of-speech kind of way, but in a real way. It’s too bad I wasn’t there. I’m pretty surprised that it’s taking me a long time for me to appear in this dang chapter! “Are you serious?”

“Of course I am, dimwit!” Rainbow yelled.

“I….. I don’t believe this. I suppose that explains the morning sickness, the cravings, the gut…” Blaze said, poking her gut.

“Is that why you’re crying too?” Candy asked. “Crying tears of joy?”

“No. I had to have a shot and I hate needles.” Rainbow corrected her. Rainbow starts pacing around the room very nervously. “Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! I’m not ready for this!”

“Rainbow, calm down! We’ll be ok.” Blaze said, holding her tight. “This is a wonderful thing, and you know it.”

“What does ‘pregnant’ mean?” Candy asked.

“It means Rainbow is having a foal.” Blaze said.

“WHAT?! You’re having a foal Rainbow? That’s awesome!” Candy said. “Since when did this happen?”

“Uhh….” Blaze said, raising his hoof and chuckles nervously. “Guilty as charged!”

“I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!” Pinkie cried, bursting into the hospital, and dancing around with balloons and her party cannon. “RAINBOW IS HAVING A FOAL! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!”

“Whoa! Pinkie, how did you know?” Blaze asked.

“What do you think? She’s Pinkie Pie! She’s always the first to know!” Rainbow said.

“A good party-throwing, fourth-wall breaking pony like me, never reveals ALL her secrets.” Pinkie said, smirking at them.

“Pinkie, this is serious! I’m not ready to be a mom!” Rainbow freaked out.

“You should’ve thought of that when you were having your fun with Blaze!” Pinkie said, winking at her.

“Shut up, Pinkie!” Blaze blushed.

“It’s not my fault! He did it!” Rainbow blushed, pointing to Blaze.

“What does she mean by ‘fun’?” Candy asked.

“DUH! Having fun jumping around on the bed, falling off and breaking your head! Then mama calls the doctor, and the doctor says, ‘NO MORE PONIES JUMPING ON THE BED!’ Then they call a bird called a stork, and they order a foal! THE END! That’s what my Nana Pinkie told me!”

“And…. You’re about our age, and you still believe in that?” Blaze asked.

“I always believe of what my Nana Pinkie says!” Pinkie said. “That’s where foals come from. Flare and I had our fun the night before Winter Wrap-Up, but we never bothered calling the stork. Played it safe, if you know what I mean.”

Rainbow facehooves. “Why do I even bother?”

“THIS IS SO COOL! I’m gonna throw us a party!” Pinkie cried.

“You mean a foal shower?” Blaze asked.

Pinkie giggled. “Sure! It’ll be great bathing some foals!”

“That sounds disturbing.” Candy said.

“He means, a party celebrating the foal. Like with gifts and stuff.” Rainbow corrected her.

“I LOVE GIFTS! Especially giving them!” Pinkie yelled. “Wait until we tell the others!”

“Don’t let this get out! The stupid press will be all over this!” Rainbow said.

“It’s gonna be between us, Rainbow!” Pinkie said. “You, me, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, AppleJack, Pinkie Pie- Oh wait! I’m Pinkie Pie!”

“I agree with Rainbow. I don’t want these vultures, prowling over us.” Blaze said.

“What are vultures gonna do?” Pinkie asked.

“Look, once our friends know, they could tell others!” Rainbow said.

“You can at least trust me and Flare!” Pinkie said. Oh finally! I’m at least mentioned in here! Rainbow and Blaze both looked at each other, and then Blaze looked at Rainbow’s stomach, and patted it, and smiled.

“My son or daughter is in here, and I can’t wait until he or she comes! This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Dashie!” Blaze said.

“Me too, Blaze! Me too!” Rainbow smiled and nodded.

“Should I tell the wind?” Candy asked. Blaze didn’t know whether of not to tell me the great news, but regardless, he walked on over to my shop. He kept on thinking if he should do this, or shouldn’t. He walks inside, and he sees me along with Lyra and Bonnie, laughing behind the counter. Blaze gets angry.

“FLARE!” Blaze yelled. He flies over to me, and pins me to the wall. “HOW MUCH DID YOU HEAR?!”

“I heard a lot, brah.” I said. Blaze groaned angrily and unpins me. “How is that a problem? I didn’t think it would affect you that much!”

“IT AFFECTS ME A LOT!” Blaze yelled.

“It’s only a game, man! It doesn’t really matter! I dunno why you’re so angry face about it!” I said.

“WELL I- wait, what are you talking about?” Blaze asked.

“It turns out GTA 5 is going to have THREE playable characters at once!” I said.

“Oh.” Blaze said.

“Isn’t that awesome?” I asked.

“Yeah….. sure.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, you feel relieved on that don’t ya?” I asked.

“Flare, I think Blaze is hiding something.” Bonnie assumed.

“Oh are you now, Blaze?” I asked, smirking at him.

“What do you mean?” Blaze asked nervously.

“Yeah, what do you mean, Bonnie?” I asked her.

“He couldn’ve attacked you for no reason. He thought you knew something, and now he feels relieved that you don’t.” Bonnie said.

“Yeah that is true. Blaze Goldheart, what are you hiding from me?” I asked.

“Well….. I…..” Blaze sighed.

“Maybe it’s best if we gave you a minute.” Lyra suggested.

“Yeah for sure. Excuse us, ladies.” I said to them, and then Lyra and Bonnie walked back to their stations so I can talk to Blaze personally. “What is it, man?”

“Well….. I don’t feel comfortable by saying this. You promise you can keep a secret?” Blaze asked.

“You know I can keep secrets. You keep giving me them! How about you slow down on the secrets?” I asked.

“Alright, well…. Rainbow Dash….. she’s….. pregnant.” Blaze said.

“What? Rainbow Dash is joining a pageant? Don’t worry, bro! My lips are sealed!” I promised.

“A pageant? NO! I said she’s pregnant!” Blaze said a little louder.

“She lost her net? Well, she can always borrow one of mine if she wants.” I said.

Blaze started steaming, and then yelled. “NO! RAINBOW DASH IS PREGENANT!” After he said that, the whole shop looked at us and Blaze was feeling really embarrassed. “Ugh…”

“She’s pregnant? Congratulations to her! Who got her pregnant?” I asked.

“Who do you think?” Blaze asked sarcastically.

“I was gonna say me, but I would’ve known if I did anything freaky with her.” I said. “Ooo! Was it Soarin?”

“No! It was me!” Blaze yelled.

“Oh, I was gonna say Engie next.” I said. “Congratulations, brah! You and Dashie are becoming a mommy and a daddy, huh? How does it feel?”

“I don’t know, man.” Blaze said.

“But I thought having a foal would be one of the greatest things that ever happened to you?” I asked.

“It is! It’s really awesome being a parent, but I don’t know if we’re ready to have one.” Blaze said.

“Well you should’ve thought of that when you and Rainbow were having a little fun together.” I said.

“Yeah, Pinkie said the same thing.” Blaze said.

“That’s my girl!” I said. “So you all gonna have a foal bath soon?”

“It’s pronounced foal shower, Flare.” Blaze corrected me.

“ARE YOU GONNA HAVE IT?!” I asked again angrily.

“Calm down, man!” Blaze advised me.

“Well, you say it your way, and I’ll say my way, alright? Now are you gonna have one?” I asked again.

I suppose so. Pinkie already planned it.” Blaze said.

“When and where?” I asked.

“I think we’re meeting at Twilight’s house tonight.” Blaze said.

“All of Pinkie’s parties take place at the same locations. Ever get tired of those places?” I asked.

“I suppose.” Blaze said.

“Except for that one time we went to Running of the Bulls.” I said. A cutaway shows Pinkie, me, and a couple of other ponies running away from a stampede of bulls.

“PINKIE! WHY WOULD YOU PLAN THIS KIND OF PARTY?!” AppleJack yelled.

“BECAUSE IT’S FUN! FEEL THE ADERNALINE!” Pinkie yelled.

“Nice bulls! Nice…. Gentle…. Bulls!” Fluttershy said, all frightened.

Fluttershy, Spike, and I were hanging on a flagpole, waiting for the stampede to stop. We jump off, and feel relieved that we’re alright. As we catch our breath, Iron Will runs by saying; “Whether it’s big or small, Iron Will’s got it all!”

“YOU’RE NOT BILLY MAYS!” I yelled at him.

“Iron Will’s not a bull, he’s a minotaur. Get it right!” Spike complained. The cutaway ends with Rainbow Dash and Blaze just about to head over to the foal shower.

“Are you sure you can fly over to Twilight’s with that foal?” Blaze asked.

“I’ll be fine.” Rainbow said.

“You do know you have to be EXTRA careful now, right? You’re carrying precious cargo now.” Blaze reminded her.

“I know! I’ll be fine, just a bit of a…. slow start.” Rainbow said as she started flying, but only a little bit. She was just floating there, having some trouble.

“Be careful!” Blaze cried.

“I’m careful, don’t worry! Oh, I’m already feeling light headed.” Rainbow said, holding her head, and landing back gently on the ground.

“Maybe I should just carry you.” Blaze suggested.

“No, no! I can handle it!” Rainbow said, starting to fly again, but started getting dizzy again, and started falling, and Blaze caught her just in time.

“I’m carrying you.” Blaze said.

“Alright, fine! Carry me!” Rainbow said with an attitude.

“Just because you have to lie back now doesn’t make you less awesome than you already are.” Blaze said, smiling at her.

“Awww!” Rainbow said, blushing, and nuzzling Blaze. Blaze starts flying, holding Rainbow on his back, and starts heading over to Twilight’s house for the shower. Rainbow and Blaze thought it was a romantic view, flying together in the air, seeing Ponyville from down below. Eventually, Blaze lands over near Twilight’s house, and Rainbow pops off Blaze, but has a little trouble, and she knocks on the door.

Twilight opens it with a smile on her face saying, “Hey! There’s the new parents, or at least one of them!”

“Hey, Twilight! Good to see ya!” Rainbow said.

“Wait what do you mean by that?” Blaze asked her.

“Oh nothing. Why won’t the THREE of you come in?” Twilight asked, moving out of the way so they can go in.

Blaze chuckles at Twilight’s joke, “Nice one, Twilight!”

“What? It’s true!” Twilight said.

“Sure is!” Rainbow said. “Thanks for doing this for us! Let’s just hope this is kept secret.”

“SURPRISE!” everypony in the room yelled; including the Mane Six, the Noble Six, Spike, Cheerilee, and Big Mac.

“Sweet Luna, Pinkie! How many ponies did you tell?!” Rainbow surprisingly asked.

“All our friends!” Pinkie said.

“And Psyche.” Engie added.

“Oh, har har, Engie.” Psyche said with an annoyed tone.

Rainbow laughed. “Good to see you too, Psyche!”

“See? Rainbow Dash is nice to me. What’s your problem?” Psyche complained.

“Come! Sit down! We got presents!” AppleJack said.

“Yay, presents! Gimmie!” Crystal cried, trying to grab AJ’s present, but AJ slapped he hoof away.

“Ah, ah, ah! Not for you, Crystal! They’re for the foal!” AppleJack said.

“Unless you want a pacifier and some diapers.” Engie teased.

“Sure! I’d love a pacifier; and maybe if I have a diaper, I don’t have to get up at night to go to the bathroom!” Crystal said. A cutaway shows me laying in bed, but then I wake up and say, “Oh no, I have to go pee! Oh wait, I’m wearing a diaper now, I could just go in here!” I close my eyes, and do my business. “Ahh, that’s better- Oh no, wait, I didn’t have to pee; I had to poop. Dang.” The cutaway ends.

So the first gift Rainbow Dash takes is AppleJack’s gift; she then opens it. “It’s mah old mobile.” AppleJack said.

“Wow! It has stars, apples, and even the princesses on it!” Rainbow said.

“When ah was a foal, it put me right to sleep. It worked on me, but it was too ‘girly’ for Apple Bloom. Big Mac here loved it; went to sleep every night with it, but he needed to retire it.” AppleJack explained.

“Eeeyup.” Big Mac nodded sadly.

“Now, we’re givin’ it to you.” AppleJack said.

“Thanks, AJ! I’m sure the foal will love it as much as you did.” Rainbow said.

Blaze nodded. “Yeah! It definitely will!”

“Ooo, ooo! Open mine! OPEN MINE!” Pinkie yelled excitedly and hopped in place, carrying a present in front of Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow laughs. “Okay, Pinkie; hoof it over!” Rainbow takes the present, and it opens it.

“It’s a music box!” Pinkie said as the music box starts playing.

“A music box? Awesome! I had one of these when I was a foal!” Blaze said.

“So did I! I guess we have a family collection!” Rainbow said.

“But you should keep the music box winded up so you don’t wake it up.” Pinkie said.

“Wake who up?” Rainbow asked.

“You really don’t wanna know.” Pinkie said.

“Umm… ok.” Rainbow said as she winded up the music box some more. The music box was playing ‘My Grandfather’s Clock’.

“Ah didn’t get a music box. All ah got when ah was a foal was a rock and a case of dental floss.” Engie said. “But ah did make a mean machine outta those babies.”

“Thank you for the gift, Pinkie!” Blaze said.

“Remember, auntie Pinkie loves you!” Pinkie said.

“That’s so cute! Thanks, Pinks!” Rainbow said, smiling at her.

“Aww! Anything for my bestest friends in the whole wrong!” Pinkie said, hugging Rainbow and Blaze.

Rainbow hugs Pinkie back and says, “I can already tell that you’re going to be a great aunt!”

“You definitely are!” Blaze agreed.

“Hey, where’s my hug, Pinkie?” I complained. Pinkie gave me a mischievous look, then she jumped onto me, and I fell over.

“Alright, who’s next?” Blaze asked. He looks down and sees a present with butterflies on them. “I’m guessing this is Fluttershy’s.” Fluttershy blushed and looked the other way. Blaze opened it, and it reveals to be a perfectly knitted teddy bear.

“Aww! A teddy bear!” Blaze said. “The foal will love this!” Fluttershy covered her face, blushing even more and more until her face became bright red…. JUST LIKE ME!

“C’mere, you!” Rainbow said, giving Fluttershy a big hug.

“Y-your welcome, Rainbow Dash. I-I made it myself.” Flutters said, shyly. “I stayed up all night working on it. Tried to knit it perfectly. I-I just hope your foal will…. Like it.”

“Our foal will love it. Thank you, Fluttershy!” Rainbow said, smiling at her, and Fluttershy smiled back.

“How about we open Twilight’s next?” Blaze asked, giving the present to Rainbow. She opens up the present.

“It’s the entire Daring Do collection!” Twilight said. “I know how much you love Daring Do, Rainbow Dash. So I decided to make copies, and give them all to you to read to your foal. Make sure she’s brave and adventurous, like you.”

“Twilight, we don’t know what gender it will be yet.” Blaze corrected her.

“With parents like us, there’s no doubt he or she will love adventures!” Rainbow said.

“He or she’ll love these books.” Blaze said.

“Glad you like them!” Twilight said, squeeing.

“Open mah present next. Ah made something extra special for the foal.” Engie said. Rainbow takes the present and opens it. “It’s a foal walkie-talkie! Y’all will be able to listen to the foal, in case they’re cryin’ or something.”

“You mean a foal monitor?” Rainbow asked.

“Exactly!” Engie said.

“This was really thoughtful, Engie! Thanks!” Blaze said.

“But wait, is it safe, Engie? Ya inventions tend to explode at times.” Aqua said.

“It’s COMPLETELY safe!” Engie said.

“But wait, I only see one. Where’s the other one?” Twilight asked.

Engie was silent for a sec. “What? How many are there supposed to be?” he asked.

“Two.” Twilight said.

“Aww shoot.” Engie said.

“It’s alright, Engie! I’m sure we can just buy a pair.” Blaze said.

“NO! Ah must complete the present!” Engie said and stood up. “Ah’ll build ya a second one, and get it ready by tomorrow! Ah promise!” Engie then runs out of the house in a hurry.

“Wow, he sure is dedicated.” Rainbow said.

“Here you are, darling!” Rarity said, giving Rainbow her gift. “I’m sure you’ll find mine to be quite dashing.”

“No pun intended.” Crystal teased as she and the Mane Six started to laugh.

“Those mares are easy to humor.” I whispered to Aqua. “They’d laugh at the most obvious of all jokes.”

“I bet they’d think ‘look a gift horse in the mouth’ is funny.” Aqua said.

“HA! Nice one, Aqua!” AppleJack chuckled.

“Ok then.” Aqua said awkwardly.

“It’s a nice little picture frame made by Sweetie Belle and I! A little something beautiful for your foal to see!” Rarity said, explaining her gift.

“Why is there a picture of you wearing a bikini, Rarity?” Psyche asked.

“Huh? Oh, that picture is just something to…. keep the shape.” Rarity blushed, and grabbed the picture out of the frame and hid it behind her back.

Rainbow giggled. “We think it’s thoughtful, Rarity!”

“Aqua! Get up here!” Blaze instructed him.

Aqua gave Blaze the present and said, “Wind Racer and I both got this for ya, Blaze.”

“We hope you like it!” Wind Racer said. Oh right, I forgot to mention that Wind Racer was here too.

“I’m sure we will!” Blaze said, and opened it.

“It’s a little carved necklace of the Wonderbolts logo.” Aqua said.

“I made it!” Wind Racer said and smiled.

“Yeah, but I gave the idea.” Aqua said.

“But I made it!” Wind Racer repeated herself. “ME! I made it! Don’t you forget that garbage!”

“Oh it’s garbage alright.” Crystal teased.

“Oh it’s awesome! The foal will love it!” Rainbow said.

“Glad ya like it.” Aqua said.

“I made it.” Wind Racer repeated.

“Alright, Psyche! Let’s see yours!” Rainbow said.

“Sure thing, Dashie!” Psyche said, giving her the present, and she opened it. “It’s one of my old mini-telescopes. I couldn’t think of what to get it. I hope this is good enough.”

“Oh it’s great! Don’t worry, Psyche! Very thoughtful!” Blaze said.

“Let’s see what Crystal has!” Rainbow said.

“Here you go, my rainbow twin!” Crystal said, giving her the gift.

“Huh? Blaze, do we look alike?” Rainbow asked.

“Hm… I don’t think so.” Blaze said, observing her.

“I see it! Crystal and Rainbow look alike; except Crystal has green eyes, Rainbow has violet; her hair is blue, and yours is rainbow.” I explained. Rainbow just opens the present, and Pinkie’s head is inside the box.

“SURPRISE!” Pinkie cried.

“AAAGGH!” Rainbow yelled, letting go of the box, and then they both started laughing. “PINKIE!”

“We got you good, didn’t we?” Crystal laughed as she hoof-bumped Pinkie’s hoof.

“Yeah you sure did!” Blaze said.

“Ready for mine?” Cheerilee asked, showing them the box. Rainbow takes it and opens it. “It’s little drawings that my whole class made for arts and crafts!”

“Awww, that’s so adorable!” Rainbow said.

“Guess who’s idea was it?” Cheerilee asked them.

“Scootaloo’s?” Rainbow guessed wildly.

“Sure was! She wanted you to be the best mom ever, and she would want to play with her anytime.” Cheerilee said.

“I’ll be sure to take the squirt up to it.” Rainbow said.

“Wow, this is a nice drawing! It’s a picture of your foal with Gem Headpiece, and Dull Tableware!” I said, looking at the drawing that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon made.

“I can’t stand bullies! Those two will NOT be hanging out with our foal.” Blaze said.

Rainbow had a disgusting look on her face, as she took out a drawing that was all snotty. “Let me guess…. Snips and Snails?” she asked. Cheerilee nodded.

“Uh… let’s see Flare’s! Last but not least!” Blaze said.

”FINALLY!” I yelled, getting up and walking towards Rainbow. “Oh you’re gonna love it! Water and I worked nonstop to get this! Rainbow, you’re gonna spill your water once you see this!”

“Flare, that’s—OW!” Rainbow yelled.

“Rainbow? Are you ok?” Blaze asked.

“I’m fine…. I’m just-OW! No, I’m not fine! I think my water broke!” Rainbow yelled.

“WHAT?! Already?!” Blaze yelled.

“Aw c’mon! You didn’t even see it yet!” I complained. “You were supposed to spill your water when you see it! B-T-W, you didn’t break your water yet!”

Spike walked over to the water glass near Rainbow Dash and knocked it over. “There you go, happy Flare?”

“Flare, that means that foal’s coming! We need to get her to the hospital!” Blaze yelled and Rainbow was taking deep breaths.

“Want me to call an ambulance?” Twilight asked.

“No! It’ll take too long! I can get her there!” Blaze said, as he gently takes Rainbow, and puts her on his back.

“Just hurry! We’ll catch up!” Twilight instructed them as she opening the door, and Blaze flew off with Rainbow.

“NICE JOB, FOAL!” Pinkie said angrily. “Totally ruined the party!”

“Let’s get this place cleaned up and head over to the hospital.” AppleJack suggested.

“Wait a minute, why do I hear Pop Goes the Wesel?” I asked as the Jack in the Box song started playing in the background.

“I warned Blaze to keep that music box wined.” Pinkie said.

“AAAH!” I cried as I get attacked by some sort of puppet with a creepy clown face on it.

Over at the hospital, Rainbow Dash was already in bed, breathing hard, and Blaze was in there with her. “Blaze….. I’m scared!” Rainbow said to him with tears in her eyes. “I feel like I’m gonna die!”

“It’s ok!” Blaze said, holding her hoof. “All sick ponies feel that way. Everypony thought Little Wayne was gonna die, but he turned out ok.”

“Is that good or bad?” Rainbow asked.

“I dunno, I can’t judge. Others don’t like him, but… I don’t… I don’t judge by their music.” Blaze said.

Rainbow continued panting. “I’m scared! I can’t be a mother, and what if there’s something wrong with the foal?!”

“RRRGH! J-just breathe!” Blaze ordered her.

“Just breathe, Mrs. Goldheart.” The Doctor said to her. “Your foal should be here soon. In fact, it’s coming quicker than predicted!”

“It hurts! IT HURTS!” Rainbow yelled.

“That’s what she said.” The doctor teased.

“BREATHE, Rainbow!” Blaze demanded.

Rainbow starts breathing again. “Ok…. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore.”

Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Pinkie is pacing back and forth, gnawing on a rubber glove, and then eating it. After she eats the glove, she gets another one and gnaws on it. Pinkie was really nervous for Rainbow Dash.

“Pinkie, just sit down and calm down, dear.” Rarity instructed her.

“HOW CAN I?! RAINBOW IS HAVING A FOAL?!” Pinkie yelled.

“Pinkie, Blaze is in there with her. Everything will be fine.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, sugarcube! Y’all shouldn’t worry ‘bout nuthin’.” AppleJack said.

“I wanna go in there, and give Rainbow and Blaze my present!” I complained.

“Flare, you can give them your present AFTER the foal is born.” Twilight said.

“Why can’t I just go in there? I wanna see!” I whined.

“Eww, Flare that’s disgusting!” Crystal said.

“Says the one who didn’t even give them a real present.” I said, glaring at her.

“Oh snap. That was a burn.” Crystal said.

“They need our support right now, Flare. We’ll just have to wait.” Flutters said.

“Wow, I haven’t been this nervous since the first time I tried asking a mare out.” Spike said. A cutaway shows a group of teenage mares talking, Spike runs over to them and he says, “Hi!” and then he run away giggling, and they just look at him like ‘What just happened?’

As the cutaway gag ends, Psyche comes back into the room with some pasta, soup, and green beans. “You guys gotta try this food! I dunno why everypony says hospital food tastes bad, it tastes delicious!”

“Y’all got that food from the cafeteria, or is that food for the patience?” AppleJack asked.

“Cafeteria.” Psyche said.

“It’s the patient food that tastes bad, Psyche.” AppleJack said.

“Whatever.” Psyche shrugged, and continued eating it. “I just love it!”

Pinkie starts eating two rubber gloves at the same time and yells, “WHEN IS THE FOAL COMING?!” She then hops on top of Fluttershy, and they both fall to the floor. Over in the corner, Candy Cotton was drawing a picture, and Twilight takes a peek at it.

“Whatcha drawing, Candy?” Twilight asked.

“Drawing a picture of me, and my new niece of nephew!” Candy said, showing the picture. “We’re gonna do acrobatic stunts, go fishing, do arts and crafts, play on the tator totter, catch the monster in my closet, and maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll be able to join the Junior Wonderbolts!”

“I can tell you and the foal will be such good friends, Candy!” Twilight said.

“Thanks, Twilight! Maybe you can show her some of your magic tricks!” Candy suggested.

“Now that sounds like a good idea!” Twilight said.

“And then when she grows up, I’ll tell her the truth saying that all your magic tricks are fake.” Candy said. Just then, everypony hears a loud screaming coming from Rainbow’s room, and has the sound of a baby crying.

“Wow, Rainbow screamed so loud, that she sounds like she’s crying like a baby.” Crystal said.

A little while later, Nurse Redheart comes into the waiting room. “WHAT IS IT?!” Pinkie yelled, gobbling up all the rubber gloves in the box in one gulp.

“Your friend is healthy, and she gave birth to a beautiful little filly!” Nurse Redheart said. All of us gasped.

“Will you all keep it down? I’m trying to pour myself some of this free coffee while trying to figure out why they have Facebook blocked on these hospital computers.” Crystal said. Meanwhile in the hospital room, Rainbow is holding her foal on a blanket. We can’t see her face yet though.

“Blaze…. She looks so….. awesome!” Rainbow said with tears in her eyes.

“Yeah…. No kidding!” Blaze agreed.

“What should we name her?” Rainbow asked.

Blaze thought it out for a sec, and he made his choice. “Rose…. Because she has your beautiful rose eyes.” He said, smiling at Rainbow.

“Oh, you!” Rainbow said, kissing his nose and the foal giggles. It shows her face. She’s gray, and she has red and yellow hair like Blaze, but she has Rainbow’s eyes.

“See? Now that wasn’t so bad, right?” Blaze asked Rainbow.

Rainbow glares at him with the fury of a thousand suns. “Wasn’t so bad? WASN’T SO BAD!?!” she yelled at him.

“A-are you sure it’s safe to go in there?” Flutters asked while standing outside Rainbow’s room.

“LET ME SEE!” Pinkie yelled, bursting inside the room with her party cannon.

“Whoa, stop!” Blaze said to Pinkie, stopping her from using the cannon. “You’re gonna wake the foal!”

“Well, duh! You can’t have a party while you’re asleep!” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes.

“Fillies need sleep, and Rainbow is exhausted.” Blaze said. He stares at Rose and starts tearing up.

“Are you….. crying, Blaze?” Flutters asked.

“Yeah…. I’m just so happy! I’m a father!” Blaze said excitedly.

“We’re parents!” Rainbow said excitedly.

I start tearing up. “I know, Flare! Isn’t this wonderful?” Flutters asked as she teared up too.

“This would be more wonderful if I didn’t sit on a needle!” I said, showing a needle on my flank. Pinkie removes it and I scream; “OW!”

Candy Cotton comes inside, and smiles. “My new niece!” Candy runs over near Rainbow. “May I see, sis?”

Rainbow doesn’t pay attention to Candy and continues looking at Rose. “Blaze, we have so much planning to do!”

Candy goes and pulls on Blaze’s wonderbolt suit. “Blaze! I wanna see!”

“I know! What school she’s gonna go to, what to feed her, college plans…. I’ll need to take days off from Wonderbolts training.” Blaze said.

“Rainbow? Sis?” Candy tried to get her attention again, but nothing. She runs over, and pulls on my shoe. “Flare?” Ok I think we all know now what’s gonna happen in this chapter.

“Bro, she’s so beautiful! I wish I could stop crying so I can take a better look, but that needle I sat on hurts so much, everything’s a blur.” I said.

“Oh, by the way, Flare…. Umm…. We’ve been meaning to ask. Rainbow and I were talking and…. We want you and Pinkie to be Rose’s godparents.” Blaze suggested.

Pinkie and I both gasped. “THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!” Pinkie yelled and bounced. “I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A FAIRY GODPARENT!”

“Wands and wings, and floaty crowny things!” I said.

“Pinkie? ANYPONY?!” Candy yelled, trying to get attention.

“No, a god parent. Which means if something were to happen to me and Blaze, you two would take care of Rose.” Rainbow corrected us.

“Aww, Pinkie!” I said with more tears in my eyes. “It’s like raising a child of our own- ok, why is everything such a blur? I know tears make it hard to see but c’mon! This is ridiculous!”

“I KNOW!” Pinkie yelled. “Can I launch my party cannon now?”

“Sure.” Blaze said.

Pinkie squeed and launched it. “WOO HOO!” Everypony in the room started dancing and partying.

“Hello?! ANYPONY?! Why isn’t anypony paying attention to me?!” Candy yelled. Now it’s pretty obvious what’s gonna happen in this chapter.

Meanwhile, a pony was watching them through the window. We didn’t know that he was out there, but he said, “Well, Woldheart! It wooks like you wound me another wescimen for my wollection!” the pony laughs evilly and walks away. We didn’t get a good look at him though so I can’t really explain what he looks like yet.

Two weeks went by, and back at Rainbow and Blaze’s house, Rose starts crying, and Rainbow and Blaze are feeling very exhausted. “Again?” Blaze complained.

“Ugh! It’s your turn.” Rainbow said, slamming her head on the table, literary.

Blaze sighed and said, “Alright…” Blaze takes Rose and starts rocking her in his hooves. “Shh, shh, it’s ok. Are you hungry, Rosie? You want something to eat?”

Candy comes trotting inside and walks over to Blaze. “Hey Blaze, you wanna go see who can find the hoops that are scattered around Ponyville? I bet you can’t beat my time!”

“Not now, Candy.” Blaze said.

“Are you sure?” Candy asked.

“Yeah, maybe another time.” Blaze said. Pfft, yeah right! Yeah and that’s what Roman Bellic said but did he get the bowling he was promised?

“Ok.” Candy said, and she trotted over to Rainbow. “Hey, sis! Wanna race? I wanna see how you and that meanie Gilda raced!”

“Now now, Candy. I have to help Blaze with Rose.” Rainbow said.

“Please Rainbow? We never did anything together in ages!” Candy begged.

“Maybe another time, Candy. Go hang out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, or Flare, or something.” Rainbow suggested.

“The CMCs are having a meeting and Flare is blind.” Candy said.

“Well….. I dunno then.” Rainbow said.

“Well…. WHAT CAN I DO?!” Candy yelled.

“You can run some errands for us.” Rainbow suggested.

“Errands?!” Candy asked.

“Yes, errands.” Rainbow said. “I need you to pick up some diapers, some more baby food, a new toy, and I need you to take this robe to the dry cleaners.”

“What’s wrong with the robe?” Candy asked.

“Rose puked on it.” Rainbow said.

“Eww!” Candy said. “Why can’t you do it?”

“Because I have to stay here and help Blaze with Rose.” Rainbow said.

“Hmph! Fine.” Candy said with an attitude taking some of Rainbow’s money and flies off. Candy walks through town carrying Rainbow’s bath robe, with an attitude. By that I mean Candy has the attitude, not the robe. “Stupid Rainbow! Stupid Blaze! Hanging out with that stupid foal instead of me! Why can’t they spend some time with both of us? Not even Rose likes me that much! I tried playing Peek-a-Boo with her and they just yelled at me!” A cutaway shows Candy covering her eyes in front of Rose, and pops out and says, “Peek-a-boo!” Just then, Rose starts crying, and Blaze comes in and picks Rose up.

“Candy! Did you make Rose cry?!” Blaze yelled at her.

“I did peek-a-boo! Babies love that!” Candy whined.

“Well Rose doesn’t! Go to your room!” Blaze ordered her.

“B-but…” Candy stuttered.

“Room! Now!” Blaze demanded. Candy stomps all the way to her room. “Shh, shh, it’s ok Rose! Look!” Blaze covers his eyes. “Where’s daddy? Peek-a-boo! Here he is!” Rose starts giggling and Candy just growled when she saw that.

The cutaway gag ends about the same time Candy accidentally bumps into me, wearing some sunglasses and a stick. “What? Blaze? Rainbow? Is that you? Do you want my present now? I’ve been trying to call you for days and I’ve been wanting to give this to you.” I said.

“Flare, it’s me!” Candy said.

“Oh, hey me!” I said. “Sorry about that. That needle I sat on in the hospital and the tears I shed that night made me blind. Everything’s a blur now. Every time I try calling Blaze I get the wrong number! Like that one time I called Moe’s tavern.”

Another cutaway gag shows me blind-dialing Blaze, and the voice on the other line said; “Hello, this is Moe’s Tavern.”

“Hi, I’m looking for a Blaze Goldheart.” I said.

“Oh yeah, you think you’re so funny don’t you? With all your prank calling. Well I AIN’T FALLING FOR THAT AGAIN! DON’T CALL AGAIN!” Moe yelled, and hung up.

“Hey! I was prank calling Blaze, not you, dum dum!” I yelled. The cutaway ends. “Anyways, I better get to my shop.” I started walking until I end up in a barber shop and Candy just watches. “Alright! Time to make some delicious pizzas! Wow, my special pizza sauce feels foamy! Why is there scissors in the kitchen? LYRA?! How many times do I have to tell you that the kitchen is not a barber shop! A comb too? You know what, Lyra? How about you work at a barber shop instead of here? Wow, what happened to my sink? It feels like the faucet is a shower.”

Meanwhile, at the Cutie Mark Crusaders treehouse, the CMCs try to plan their next stage of getting their flank tattoos. “So, what should we try next to get our cutie marks?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I dunno. Something that isn’t lame, I hope.” Scoots said.

“How about we try dog grooming cutie marks?” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“Dog grooming?” Scoots asked with a boring tone.

“Yeah! You’ll see that the dogs would look so cutesy wootsy when we’re done with them!” Sweetie said. “You should see Opal’s smile when Rarity dresses her up. It almost feels like she’s angry!” Just then, Candy opens the door and walks inside.

“Uhh, ever heard of knocking?” Sweetie asked. Candy just stood there, rolling her eyes, and knocked on the open door. “Come in!” Sweetie said with a smile.

“Hi, Candy Cotton! What brings ya here?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Why the long face, Candy?” Scoots asked.

“Is that supposed to be a horse joke?” Candy asked.

“No! It’s just… wow, I really don’t get that joke.” Scoots said. “Anyways, I’m just wondering, is something the matter?”

“Nothing.” Candy said.

“Doesn’t look like nothin’.” Apple Bloom said.

“Come on, Candy! You can tell us! We’re good listeners!” Sweetie said, holding a notebook. “Maybe I’ll get my therapy cutie mark!”

“Well…. It’s Rose.” Candy said.

“Isn’t she so adorable?” Sweetie asked.

“She is! Ah just wanna pinch her cutie little cheeks!” Apple Bloom said, pinching her own cheeks. I’m talking about the cheeks on her face, alright?

“I just wanna stare into her awesome eyes! They look just like Rainbow Dash’s!” Scoots said.

“Ah think Rose has a new fan, huh Scootaloo?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Totally!” Scoots said.

“You know, you girls ain’t helping.” Candy said with an attitude.

“How could you not like Rose?” Scoots asked.

“Rainbow and Blaze are paying more attention to her than me! IT’S NOT FAIR!” Candy yelled, stomping on the ground.

“Whoa! Somepony’s jealous!” Apple Bloom teased.

“AM NOT!” Candy yelled.

“She is just a baby; she can’t take care of herself.” Sweets said.

“Seriously? I’m 10 years old! I’m technically still a baby!” Candy said.

“Hey, you can fly just as awesome as Rainbow Dash, you are NOT a baby.” Scoots said.

“Am too!” Candy whined.

“You look about the same age as us.” Sweetie said.

“Looks ain’t everything!” Candy whined. “I can prove to be just as helpless as that little brat Rose, and I’ll prove it!” Candy walked out, and slammed the door shut so hard that a picture frame fell down and broke.

“She’s totally jealous!” Apple Bloom teased, and the three of them started giggling.

Back at the Rainbow house, Psyche and Crystal fly up to the house and ring the door-bell. “Can you get that Blaze? My hooves are full!” Rainbow yelled rocking Rose in her hooves.

Blaze walks over and opens the door. “Hey guys!”

“Hey Blaze! We came to check up on things!” Crystal said.

“And we have a surprise for little Rosie.” Psyche said.

“Well that’s sweet of you guys.” Blaze said.

”Come over to Sugarcube Corner, and bring Rose!” Crystal instructed him.

“Who is it, Blaze?!” Rainbow yelled.

“It’s Psyche and Crystal! They want us to go to Sugarcube Corner because they have a surprise for us!” Blaze yelled.

“Alright, I’m coming!” Rainbow said. “C’mon, Rose! Let’s hit it!” Rose giggled as they started walking out. While they were at it, Candy started crawling on the floor wearing a diaper. By that, I mean Candy’s the one wearing the diaper, not the floor. “Hey Candy, wanna come?”

“Goo goo gaga?” Candy asked.

“Sooooo is that a yes or a no?” Rainbow asked.

“CARRY ME!” Candy yelled.

“Sorry, lil sis, I got my hooves full right now.” Rainbow said.

“Candy, you’re eleven years old.” Blaze said.

“I’m ten! How can you forget my own age?” Candy asked.

“Sorry, but you look older for your age.” Blaze said. “Take off that diaper!”

“Hang on!” Candy said as she starts grunting and struggling, trying to poop. “Hold on, it’s coming!” She keeps on going for a few minutes, but nothing came, and she gave up. “Ugh! It’ll come! I just need some baked beans.”

“That is just gross.” Blaze said.

“Take off the diaper, Candy! You coming or not?” Rainbow asked, losing her patience.

“Ugh! Fine!” Candy said with an attitude. She takes off the diaper, and throws it on Blaze’s face.

“Stop it! That is disgusting!” Blaze complained.

“You touch those diapers every day! Even Rose’s dirty one!” Candy said.

“But I don’t stuff them in my face!” Blaze corrected her.

“Are we going or what?” Psyche asked, losing his patience.

“Yeah, we are.” Blaze said. “C’mon, let’s go!” So they all fly off to Sugarcube Corner, but as for me, I was standing right below their house, tapping my stick around because I’m still blind. “Hey what’s going on? Crystal? Psyche? You still up there? For Wizard of Hope’s sake!” I yelled. Blaze flies down and sees me.

“Hey, Flare!” he said.

“Blaze? Is that you?” I asked, tapping my stick all over the place.

“Yeah it’s me.” Blaze said as I stuck the stick in his mouth. He starts coughing and cries, “OW!”

“Sorry, brah! I wasn’t able to tell you, but I’m blind.” I said as I lifted my sunglasses and squinted at him. “I can only see a blur. Wow, when you’re a blur, you look like a tiny rhino that squirted ketchup and mustard on its head.”

“Really? That’s weird.” Blaze said.

“Can you help me get to Sugarcube?” I asked.

“Sure, brah!” Blaze said, taking my hoof and leading me over there. By that I mean he grabs my hoof that is still attached to my body, not physically taking it and keeping it for himself. Although, he could borrow it if he wants, I’m not using it at the moment. As we finally arrive at Sugarcube Corner, I said to Rainbow, “I swear, Rainbow, every time I look at you, I think I’m high because when I look at you, I keep seeing colors.” Blaze starts laughing.

“So, why did you bring us here, Psyche?” Rainbow asked, holding Rose.

“To give Rose a special….” Psyche opens the Sugarcube Corner door.

“SURPRISE!” everypony yelled holding a cake that said ‘Happy 2 Week Anniversary Rose’,

“Oh you guys!” Blaze said excitedly.

“And girls!” Pinkie added.

“You didn’t have to!” Rainbow said.

“Anything to make Rosie happy.” Aqua said. Rose giggled.

“I’m the one who made that Wonderbolts necklace.” Wind Racer said.

“Oh, Rosie. If only I could see your cute little smile right now. I can see my bestest bro in you.” I said as I started raspberrying her Aqua’s tummy and Rose starts laughing.

“Uhh, Flare?” Aqua asked.

“Quiet, Aqua. I’m trying to raspberry this little filly. I’m making her laugh.” I said as I continued rasberrying Aqua’s tummy. Candy just rolls her eyes. “You should tickle her when you get the chance, Blaze. I was never tickled when I was a baby, and now I’m VERY ticklish. Tickling at a young age will help prevent that.”

“Well C’MON! Let’s get this party started!” Pinkie yelled, firing her party cannon again, but the weird thing was, the party cannon was black and not blue. Right after the shot was fired, there was a hole on the wall. “Woops, wrong cannon! What happened to my party cannon?”

A cutaway shows a pirate captain on a ship getting attacked by another ship. “ARRR! Fire the cannons!” the captain ordered. Once the cannons were fired, the other ship ended up with a bunch of party decorations.

“Oh hey, forget this here fighting, let’s party!” one of the pirates on the ship suggested as all the pirates started dancing. The cutaway ends.

As Rose’s party started at Sugarcube Corner, the Cake babies, Pumpkin and Pound Cake start waving at her, and Rose waves at them back.

“I think Rose wants to meet the Cakes.” Flutters said.

“Well then, she will!” Blaze said setting Rose down next to the Cake babies.

“Alright, where is that cake?” I asked, tapping my stick everywhere, and into Blaze’s mouth again.

Blaze coughs and says, “OW! Stop it!”

“I can’t see, brah! You keep getting in my way!” I said.

“Rrgh!” Blaze groaned.

Candy walks over to the Cake babies and asks, “Hey, mind if I play with you?” The babies just ignored her and kept playing with Rose. Candy got pretty frustrated because nopony was paying attention to her throughout the whole party. Everypony was having a real good time, chatting and playing and stuff, and Candy just stood there angrily and watched. Later on, Rose fell asleep on the couch. Everypony just looked at her with smiles on their faces.

“Awww, she’s sleeping!” Flutters said in a soft voice.

“I wonder what she’s dreaming about?” Psyche asked in a soft voice.

“Shut up, Psyche.” I said in a soft voice. Rainbow Dash nuzzles Rose’s cheek, and Blaze nuzzles her stomach.

“I am so proud of you both!” Twilight said. “She’s your creation, a fine treasure you both made together.”

“Yeah, and she’ll grow up to be a fine young mare.” Blaze said.

“Just like you, Blaze!” I teased and everypony laughs.

Candy couldn’t take it anymore, so she laid down on the floor and said, “Hey look, I’m sleeping too! Wanna see?”

“She has our mane, Rainbow.” Crystal said.

“But she has Blaze’s color.” Rainbow said.

“How am I supposed to know what she actually looks like? To me, she looks like an even smaller rhino that squirted ketchup and mustard on their mane.” I said.

“Hey, you wanna see me do a cool trick?” Candy asked, but still nopony paid attention to her.

“Ah she likes the foal formula I got her.” Aqua said.

“She loves it, Aqua!” Rainbow said.

“Hey, everypony, I’m about to light up a bunch of matches while I cut myself with a knife. Is that ok?” Candy asked. Everypony continued to ignore her. “C’MON GUYS! ANSWER ME!” Candy yelled. “LOOK AT ME! I’M CUTE TOO! I’M UNIQUE! Rose just looks like Blaze and Rainbow combined as a foal! DO ANY OF YOU LOOK LIKE ME?! LOOK AT ME!!!!!!”

“I wonder where Engie is with that other foal monitor?” Crystal asked.

“I don’t know, but I trust him.” Blaze said.

“UUUGGGGHHH!” Candy groaned as she marched outside and slammed the door.

“Hey, did any of you hear something?” I asked.

“THAT’S IT! I NEED TO BRING THAT FOAL OUT OF MY LIFE! This is the last straw!” Candy yelled as she took the last straw out of her portable straw box, places it in her smoothie cup and starts drinking her smoothie. “Ok that’s another thing I need to add to my list. Before getting rid of Rose, I need to get a new box of bendy straws.”

Later that night back at Rainbow Dash’s house (because it wouldn’t feel right calling it Blaze’s house) after Candy gets her bendy straws, Candy covered herself in black stealth outfit, and she snuck across the hall to check if Blaze and Rainbow were sleeping, and they were as Blaze held her tight. Candy kept going, until she tripped on Tank. “WHOA!” she yelled. She checks on Rainbow and Blaze, and luckily for her they’re still asleep. Candy then sneaks over to Rose’s bedroom. Blaze’s phoenix Apollo watches her as she enters Rose’s room, and he smirks smirks at her. Candy enters the room and takes a spray, and sprays the area, revealing pressure censors. She uses her mirror to reflect the censors away, so she can take Rose. Candy grabs Rose and takes her outside. It was thundering out there. Rose was still asleep. Candy takes Rose, and leans her against the edge of the cloud.

“I’m sorry, Rose, but you’re ruining my life, and I can’t-“ just then, Candy accidently releases Rose and she starts freefalling from the sky. “Woops!” Candy flies down quickly and grabs Rose before she could hit the ground and then Candy flies back up onto the cloud with Rose on her grasp. “Nope, it’s too early for that. Let me finish my discussion.” Candy starts her discussion over. “Now then, Rose Goldheart, you are running my life and I can’t have you around anymore.”

Rose yawns and wakes up and she smiles at Candy with puppy dog eyes. “Your puppy dog eyes won’t save you now!” Rose kept staring at Candy. “STOP THAT, ROSE! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE! WHY ARE YOU STEALING BLAZE AND RAINBOW FROM ME?!” Candy starts tearing up. “ANSWER ME!” Rose gives Candy a big hug and snuggles on her chest. Candy’s anger slowed down, and she felt she is making a big mistake. “What am I doing? This is my niece! I can’t get rid of you, no matter how much I try! I’m… I’m sorry, Rose. My jealously got the best of me, and…” Candy starts to weep as it begins to rain out. Rose then wipes Candy’s tears with her hoof, and then continues to smile at her. Candy then smiles back, and then they gave each other a big hug, but then as the feels began to slow down, Rainbow and Blaze run outside.

“CANDY!!!!!” Rainbow yelled. Candy gets busted! “WHAT IN CELESTA’S NAME ARE YOU DOING?!”

“I know, I was about to get rid of her.” Candy admitted. “But I finally realize….”

“THAT YOU WERE ABOUT TO KILL OUR BABY!” Blaze yelled.

“NO! NOT KILL!” Candy begged. “Just leave her somewhere until somepony picks her up and raises her! Hey, I’m doing you a favor! You looked miserable when you took care of her!”

“SO?! WE DON’T CARE! ROSE IS OUR DAUGHTER, AND WE’D RISK ANYTHING FOR HER!” Blaze yelled.

“B-but, I didn’t….” Candy stuttered. Rainbow grabs Rose away from Candy, and holds her tight.

“You crossed the line, Candy Cotton!” Rainbow said angrily at her. “Your jealousy got the best of you, and we are truly upset!”

“B-but….” Candy stuttered.

“No buts!” Blaze said. Candy did her best not to laugh after he said that.

“You’re not the sister I known and loved! Keep away from Rose!” Rainbow ordered her.

“You are not allowed to see her anymore!” Blaze said.

“But Blaze, listen!” Candy yelled.

“No! This is the last straw!” Blaze said.

“Do what’s right, Candy! Do something useful for once!” Rainbow said angrily as she walked inside along with Blaze and Rose on her shoulder. Yeah, I totally mean that Blaze was on her shoulder too. Sounded like I said that right? After Blaze and Rainbow walked inside the house, Candy just sits there on the cloud as it starts to rain even harder, and she starts crying again. After a few minutes of weeping, she yelled, “FINE! YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING USEFUL?! I WILL!” So Candy went back inside and started packing her stuff, and wrote a note:

‘Dear, Blaze and Rainbow Dash; I am sorry I've been such a bad sister, and a terrible aunt. When the last minute came, I realized Rose was a treasure, and I wanted to stop. I become to fall in love with her.... not in that way. But you all been paying too much attention to her, and I feel you don't need me anymore. So I decided to pack-up, and move on. I'm gonna do something useful with my life, like you said Rainbow. I love you all, especially little Rosie. I won't bother her anymore.
Love, Candy Cotton

PS: I took your suitcase and umbrella, I hope you don’t mind.’

Candy then suddenly flies off the cloud in the rain and starts walking away crying. Is this it? Is Candy going to go away? Is this story going to be too much like Owl’s Well That Ends Well? Well… maybe, but it’s not over yet! Just then the mysterious pony from the hospital showed up and says to himself, “Woldheart, woo will be wine!” Candy Cotton turns around and sees the pony as the pony sneaks up on her. Candy suddenly screams as the pony snatches her, and he runs away.

The scream was so loud that it woke me up because my trailer was right there. “Hey, Water?” I called out from her bedroom.

“What is it, Flare?” Water asked.

“You think I could grow a beard as nice as Santa’s?” I asked.

“Maybe, if you’re willing to put the time.” Water said.

“I’d definitely put in the time and I’d try REAL hard.” I said. “Hey if I grow a nice beard, you think they’d let me in the carnival?”

“Nah, there’s nothing that special about a bearded stallion.” Water said. “Unless you lit it on fire or something, but then you’d have to wait until it grows back between shows so it probably wouldn’t pay too much. They’d probably give you free snow cones or unlimited ferris wheel rides.”

“Just to light it on fire? Nah.” I said.

“It’s probably for the best.” Water said.

“Hey, Water?” I asked.

“Yeah, Flare?” Water asked.

“Why weren’t you at Rose’s party?” I asked.

“I was there, but I just didn’t talk.” Water said.

“Oh right, you were right next to Wind Racer.” I remembered.

“She’s the one who made the Wonderbolt necklace, I saw her.” Water said.

“Got it.” I said.

The next morning came, it was bright and sunny, and I was flying over to my shop using a Ghost from Halo. I’m starting to get better with this transformation magic, but I still wasn’t able to get the cannons working. I was still blind as well. I was flying around recklessly until I crashed into Rainbow and Blaze’s bedroom, and I was hanging on their ceiling fan, spinning around. Blaze, and Rainbow wake up from the crash.

“GAH! WHAT WAS THAT?!” Rainbow yelled.

”WHOA!” Blaze yelled.

“I’m spinning, why am I spinning? Am I on a mary-go round?” I asked while hanging on the fan.

“No, you’re on our fan.” Blaze corrected me.

“Oh hey Blaze! Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to ‘drop in’ for a bit! LAWL!” I teased. “Hey Blaze, I’m your biggest ‘fan’!”

“Shut up.” Apollo complained.

“Who’s up for breakfast?” Rainbow asked.

“ME! I’m up for a second breakfast!” I said excitedly.

“I am too!” Blaze said.

“Oh really? What was your first breakfast, Blaze?” I asked. So Blaze went over to Rose’s room and picked her up. “And I get you’re up for breakfast?” he nuzzles her. We all walk over to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

“Hey where’s my little friend? I got something for her.” I said.

“She’s over here!” Blaze said, holding Rose.

“Who is that Candy Cotton?” I asked.

“No it’s Rose.” Blaze said.

“Oh, I’m talking about Candy Cotton, where is she?” I asked.

“Candy? You know what she tried to do right?” Candy asked.

“What did she do?” I asked.

“She tried to kill Rose.” Blaze said.

“She what?! No way, that’s not like her!” I said.

“Well not kill, just leave her to die.” Blaze said.

“She jelly I guess?” I asked.

“Her jealousy got the best of her.” Rainbow said, giving me an omelet.

“This better be a cheese and shroom omelet!” I demanded.

“Yeah it is, don’t worry.” Rainbow said.

“You know, we haven’t been giving her enough attention. I think we should talk to her.” I suggested.

“I don’t want her near Rose.” Blaze said, holding Rose tight.

“Then don’t take her! Just talk to her, maybe we’ll come to an understanding, Blaze.” I said while looking at a coat rack.

We can’t just leave her here, she’s just a baby… and I’m over here.” Blaze reminded me.

“Oh, sorry, brah.” I said as I looked over at Rainbow Dash. “Oh there you are, Blaze! You look colorful. Am I high again?”

“I’ll just talk to her.” Rainbow said.

“Hey Blaze, you sound a lot like Rainbow!” I said.

“That’s because you are talking to Rainbow.” Blaze said in an annoyed tone.

I then looked over to the fridge. “Ok that’s totally you! But where’s your hair? I can only see the rhino.” Blaze takes my head and turns it towards him. “Oh hey Rose! When did you get a strong grip?”

“It’s Blaze.” Blaze reminded me.

“You renamed Rose to Blaze? Why?” I asked.

“Blaze I looked in Candy’s room and she wasn’t there.” Rainbow said.

“That was a delicious omelet, Rainbow!” I said as I wiped my face with the note Candy written. “Holy Wizard of Strength! You guys need to get softer napkins.” I then blew my nose on the note.

“Hey, what is that?” Blaze asked.

“A very rough napkin or tissue.” I said. Blaze takes it, and takes a look at it.

“Wait, it’s a note!” Blaze said.

“Can I read it?” I asked. “I can make it sound dramatic, or use a Scottish accent!”

Blaze reads it, and gasps. “Oh no!”

“Oh no indeed! You didn’t put cheese on this omelet like I told you, Dashie!” I complained.

“I didn’t know you would realize.” Rainbow said as she chuckled. “I’m so bad!”

“I maybe blind, but my taste buds still work!” I said.

“What does the note say?” Rainbow asked.

“Candy ran away!” Blaze said.

“SHE WHAT?!” Rainbow yelled, dropping the dishes.

“She ran away!” Blaze repeated.

“I knew it! You were too harsh on her!” I said.

“It wasn’t me!” Blaze said, looking at Rainbow.

“Hey! I was just mad at her! She tried to abandon our foal!” Rainbow said.

“Sounds more like you abandoned her, Dashie.” I said. Rose nods in agreement.

“We have to find her!” Blaze yelled.

“I agree! But where could she have gone?” Rainbow asked.

“Now why would you two want to go look for her? After the way you talked to her, and after you SAID she tried to kill Rose, and you still want her back?” I asked.

“And she’ll always be my little sis.” Rainbow said.

“BOOM!” I yelled as I slammed my hoof on the table. “That’s what I like to hear! True love! Let’s go get her!”

“Let’s go!” Blaze yelled. So four of us flew out of the house, but since I’m blind, I can’t see the fuel gauge on my Ghost, it was on E, and I started falling. My hovership just landed on the ground with a PHOMP!

“Out of gas? I thought I just filled this thing?” I asked.

There was a little business card next to me after I fell. Blaze takes the card and looks at it, wondering what it is. The card said: ‘Steelhoof Labs, 1223 Shield Ave. Canterlot. Home of the research of endangered creatures.’

“OH NO!” Blaze yelled.

“What’s wrong?” Rainbow asked.

“Not this freak!” Blaze yelled.

“Who is that?” Rainbow asked.

“This pony in INSANE!” Blaze said. “Professor Steelhoof, an insane scientist! He stalked me when I was a kid so he could dissect me and perform all sorts of experiments!”

“Why though? What makes you so different?” I asked. “You’re half-dragon with phoenix powers, so what?”

“EXACTLY!” Blaze said.

“WAIT A MINUTE! CANDY!” Rainbow yelled.

“What? What about her?” Blaze asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?! Steelhoof foalnapped her when she was running away! He might be using her to get to you!” Rainbow explained.

“This isn’t good! Rainbow, Flare, you stay here with Rose. I’m going alone!” Blaze said.

“Nuh uh! I say Rainbow and I should go, and you should stay. I don’t think he’d want to make experiments on blurry colors and a blind good-looking stallion.” I said.

“Hey, who you calling a stallion?” Rainbow asked as she gave me a weird look.

“No way! Then he’ll use YOU to get to me! It’s ME he wants, it’s ME he’ll get!” Blaze said.

“Brah, this might be a…. go ahead Admiral Ackbar.” I said.

“ISSA TRAP!” Jar Jar Binks yelled. “Ackbar wasa not available.”

“Exactly! You can’t go alone!” I advised him.

“I KNOW it’s a trap!” Blaze said.

“I agree with Flare on this one. Candy is my sister, and I need to rescue her too.” Rainbow said.

“You’ll need the help of my magic, so I’ll go!” I said.

“And mesa will come too.” Jar Jar Binks said.

“Fine. Flare and I will go. Rainbow, you stay here with the baby.” Blaze said.

“Fine.” Rainbow said with an attitude.

“AWESOME! GIVE ME BRO-HOOF, BLAZE!” I yelled, hanging out my hoof for Blaze to bump,.

“I’m over here.” Blaze reminded me as I was facing the wrong way.

“Oh.” I said as I turned around. “GIVE ME BRO-HOOF, BLAZE!” I yelled, and he bumped my hoof. Rose starts mumbling and Blaze gasped.

“Rainbow! Rose is trying to say something!” Blaze said.

“OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!” Rainbow said in excitement.

“D… D… DADDY!!!!” Rose said, holding her arms out.

“HER FIRST WORD!!!!” Blaze said with tears in his eyes, and gave her a big hug.

“C… C…. CANDY!!!” Rose said.

“TWO WORDS! This is sooooo awesome!” Rainbow said in a high-pitched voice. “C’mon, Rose! Say mommy. Say mommy!”

“B…. BIRD!” Rose said.

“HA! Bird is the word!” I said.

“I think that’s enough enough for now.” Blaze said. “C’mon! You two need to get home while Flare and I need to get going!”

“Got it!” Rainbow said.

“Right! One of those words Rose said was Candy! Rose wants Candy back!” I said to Blaze. “And if Rose wants Candy back, I think it’s about time you changed your mind about keeping them apart!”

“I suppose so, if she learned her lesson.” Blaze said.

“She ran away from home, of course she did.” I said.

“Let’s go!” Blaze said as he flew off and I start walking in the opposite direction. Blaze sudenly turns around and picks me up, and takes me over to the labs.

Over at Steelhoof Labs, Candy regains consciousness, and is hanging on some iron chains. “Ugh! Where am I?” Candy asked. “What’s going on?!” Candy started struggling on the chains.

“Woo are in my waborotories!” a voice said.

“Who are you?!” Candy asked.

“I am Professor Weelhoof, and you, my adorable wittle fwiend, are my wargaining chip!” the pony with a lab coat said, staring at her with his cybernetic eye. This pony was green with a cybernetic eye on his left eye, and two mechanical hooves on his left side. In fact, his entire left side looked like it was on fire once, but his entire right side was just fine. This pony also had a remote control for a cutie mark and his labcoat was purple, instead of light blue like Swinebutt’s. Also, Steelhoof looked a lot like Joker from Batman, but without the make-up and more half-robot.

“LET ME OUT OF HERE!” Candy demanded.

“I’m afwaid escape is wot an option! You’ll wave to wait until your…. wiological warity of a bwother comes and attempts to wave woo.” Steelhoof said.

“Who, Blaze? What do you want with him?” Candy asked. “And why are you speaking like that?”

“It’s the way I talk, don’t worry about wit.” Steelhoof said.

“Oh… so what do you want with Blaze?” Candy asked.

“Who wouldn’t?! He’s a wagconian! Not just any wagconian! The first wagconian to we born in a wousand wears!” Steelhoof said. “This may be my only chance to study wim.”

“BLAZE IS GONNA KICK YOUR FLANK ONCE HE FINDS OUT YOU…. No…. no, he’s not gonna come for me.” Candy said with tears in her eyes.

“Oh? And why is that?” Steelhoof asked as he taps on his cybernetic hoof.

“Because he thought I was gonna get rid of his new daughter. He doesn’t love me anymore; why would he want to rescue me?” Candy asked.

“Ah yes, his waughter!” Steelhoof nodded.

“His water?” Candy asked.

“No his WAUGTER, you know, a willy?” Steelhoof asked.

“With all those W’s, you make it sound so hard to understand you.” Candy said. “But yeah, his daughter is Rose Goldheart, and he’s the only filly he would ever want.”

“Interesting.” Steelhoof said evilly.

“Yeah, well good luck on whatever you’re planning on.” Candy said.

“Steelhoof? There’s somepony here wanting to see you.” A female computer voice said.

“Wait is your name Steelhoof or Weelhoof?” Candy asked.

“WHO IS IT, CLARESE?! Can’t woo see wi’m monologuing?!” Steelhoof yelled.

“It’s a unicorn by the name of Crimson Blast, and he’s here with a unique specimen.” Clarese said, showing Steelhoof me on the monitor in a disguise, carrying Blaze Goldheart, who is all tied up.

Steelhoof gasped. “HE WAPTURED THE WESCIMEN!”

“Yeah, yeah, I got your specimen, let me in!” I said in an Italian accent.

“This wisn’t a wick is it?” Steelhoof asked.

“Ey, ey, the only thing I want is my well-paid reward, buddy! This thing is very valuable!” I said.

“Oh! Then wome in, wome in!” Steelhoof said pleasingly as he buzzed us inside, and the monitor shuts off. “Wooks wike your wuck has wun out!” he said to Candy. Candy had a very nervous look on her face.

Back in the reception, Blaze whispers to me; “This is a HORRIBLE plan!”

“Trust me, brah! I ain’t selling you out. Just guide me to the lab.” I whispered back.

“I haven’t been here before. How would I know?” Blaze whispered.

“Follow the signs or something! Just…. Where is the buzzed door?” I asked.

“Please follow me.” A scientist mare said.

”Oh hubba bubba ding ding, what’s that sound of that thing?” I asked. “Sounds like a hot looking mare scientist, Blaze! Can you take a picture of her with my phone so I can see later?” So I followed the mare through the door and into the hallway, but I hit the side of the door. “Blaze, I need you to be my eyes.”

“Ok.” Blaze said as he gave me directions to the lab. “Left…. Right…. Left again…. Right…. Straight…. Watch out for the trash bin. Alright we’re here.”

“Wello, welcome to Wheelhoof Wabs!” Steelhoof said to me.

“Wow, that accent.” I chuckled. “Hey, Steelhoof? Say,‘Shhh be very very quiet, I’m hunting wabbits!”

“Stop teasing about my accent, and whoof over the the wecimen.” Steelhoof instructed me.

“I have the feeling this dude lives alone.” Blaze said.

“WONG! I wive here with my computer wife Clarese! Sway hi Clarese!” Steelhoof said.

“Hi Clarese! How is it like to have a loser for a husband? LAWL!” I teased.

“WOSER?! I am not a woser! I am a wenius!” Steelhoof yelled.

“You certainly are wenius! LAWL!” I teased.

“WUT UP!” Steelhoof yelled.

“Oh not much, what’s up with you?” I asked.

“RRRGGGHHH!” Steelhoof groaned.

“Now cough up the money, and your specimen will be yours!” I demanded.

“Fine. How much you want?” Steelhoof asked.

“Half a million bits.” I said.

“A WALF A WILLION?!” Steelhoof yelled.

“How bad do you want this draconian?” I asked.

“Grrr! Alwight fine!” Steelhoof said with an attitude, hooving me over a briefcase with a half-million bits. “Walf a willion wits.”

“Thank you!” I said.

“No, no wank woo!” Steelhoof said pleasingly. “You’re mine, Woldheart.”

“Hey, Scooby Steelhoof Doo, guess what?” I asked.

“What?” Steelhoof asked.

“You know about the seaponies, they go SHOOP SHOOP DE DOOP?” I asked.

“Not weally.” Steelhoof said.

“Well I go SHOOP SHOOP DA WHOOP!” I said as I charged my laser using my SHOOP on Steelhoof, but with me being blind, I missed him completely, and I just fired it at the fire alarm, and the sprinklers on the ceiling started spraying, and the fire alarm went off. “Did I get him? Did I get him Blaze?”

“YOU MISSED!” Blaze yelled as he smacked me in the back of the head.

“OW!” I yelled. “What was your first clue?”

“Intruder alert! Intruder alert!” Clarese alerted.

“BLAZE! FLARE!” Candy yelled.

“WHAT?! WOO TWO ARE WORKING TOGEWER?! CLARESE! WEAL THE WOORS! DO NOT LET THE WISONER WESCAPE!” Steelhoof yelled. So Clarese triggered the blast doors and sealed them off.

I went over to Blaze and untied him using my hornsaber. “You handle Steelhoof, I’ll handle the computer.”

“WHAT ABOUT ME?!” Candy yelled.

“You can just ‘HANG’ there.” I teased.

“Oh ha ha.” Candy said sarcastically.

“I’ll get you in a second, Candy!” Blaze yelled, but before Blaze could do anything, he gets pinned down by Steelhoof as Steelhoof activates his buzz saw on his cybernetic hoof.

“Wepare for your wexamination!” Steelhoof said mischievously at Blaze.

“Not a chance, bucko!” Blaze said, punching out his cybernetic eye.

“AGH! MY EYE!” Steelhoof yelled. I ran over to the computer, and start pushing random buttons on the keyboard.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Clarese asked.

“Pushing random buttons. I’m hoping one of them is security override.” I said. “Worse case scenario, I pick self-destruct.” Blaze and Steelhoof continue to fight eachother. Blaze suddenly pushes Steelhoof aside and runs over to where Candy is being held. I then pushed a random button and the lab turret guns activated.

“Is that security override?” I asked.

“That was activating the turret guns, dim wit!” Clarese said to me.

“I’m not a dim-wit, I’m blind! If I can see, I’d know what I’m doing.” I said. The turret guns start firing berserk all over the lab, destroying everything.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU ARE WESTROYING MY WEAUTIFUL WAB!” Steelhoof yelled.

“Candy?! Candy are you here!?” Blaze yelled.

“OVER HERE!” Candy yelled.

Blaze runs over to her and cuts her chains. “Are you alright?” he asked her.

“Why did you come back for me?” Candy asked with a frown. “I’m a terrible aunt.”

“Because we couldn’t just leave you! You’re my sister-in-law.” Blaze said. “And Rose wanted you back. Your name was her second word!”

“It was?” Candy asked. “No you’re just pushing me.”

“Is this really the right time to be joking?” Blaze asked.

“Good point.” Candy agreed as she gave Blaze a big hug. “I’m so sorry, Blaze! I shouldn’ve let my jealousy get the best of me! You just spend so much time with her that you never want to hang out with me.”

”It’s alright, Candy. We were just busy! It was only bad timing. We should’ve given you a little more attention.” Blaze said, smiling at her, and Candy smiled back. Yeah this is seemingly too much like Owl’s Well That Ends Well. Hey did you know that was also an episode name for a Winnie the Pooh episode?

“Alright, you’re REALLY pushing my buttons now!” Clarase said to me as I kept pushing the buttons on her keyboard.

“HEY! WEEP AWAY FWOM MY WIFE!” Steelhoof yelled, running towards me.

“What? Who said that?” I asked as I turned around, moving my stick everywhere, and I accidentally shoved it in Steelhoof’s mouth. “Oh, sorry Blaze!”

“I got Candy! Let’s go!” Blaze yelled with Candy on his back.

“Alright! Which way is the exit? My clothes are all wet!” I complained.

“This way! Hurry, before the door closes!” Blaze yelled, but we were too late. The door sealed shut, and the turret guns in the lab aimed right towards us.

“Leaving so soon?” Steelhoof asked.

“DARN IT!” Blaze yelled.

“You thought you could wescape? You thought you had a tiny swiver of hope, but now you two will die!” Steelhoof said aiming a cyber eye at Candy and I. “And you will remain alive for my experiments!” He said, pointing at Blaze.

“Why would you kill me? I’m a seller! I got me money, take him!” I said as I pushed Blaze over to Steelhoof.

“Way to sell out your best friend, Flare.” Candy said sarcastically.

“That money is fwake anyway.” Steelhoof said.

“FOR WIZARD OF HOPE’S SAKE!” I yelled as I threw the briefcase with the fake money on the ground.

“SEIZE THEM!” Steelhoof yelled. Just then, Blaze looked behind him and saw the bottom part of the sealed blast door starting to melt. The part of the door broke off, and ironically, but yet it was kind of expected, Rose started crawling through.

“ROSE?!” Blaze and Candy gasped. Just then, Blaze’s phone started ringing; it was Rainbow Dash. “I’m busy!” he said.

“WHERE’S ROSE?! I CAN’T FIND HER ANYWHERE!” Rainbow yelled from the phone.

“She’s right here, Rainbow. I…. don’t know how though.” Blaze said confusingly.

“Ah! Wanother wecimen for my wollection!” Steelhoof said mischievously. “Seize her too!”

“IF YOU TOUCH MY LITTLE ROSIE, I’LL BREAK YOUR GOOD EYE!” Blaze threatened him.

“The wyber eye is my good eye.” Steelhoof corrected him.

“Blaze…. Look!” Candy got his attention as she pointing to Rose. Rose starts glowing and she starts floating.

“No….. she can’t have…. My….” Blaze just stood there in shock.

“Phoenix power activity detected.” Clarese said.

“She does?!” Blaze gasped. Rose starts blazing in fury, and everything in the room started to malfunction, including Steelhoof’s cyber eye, arm, and leg.

“PHOENIX POWERS?!” Steelhoof gasped. “AAAGH! CLARESE! SWEETIE, I NEED HELP!”

“Malfunction! Malfunction! All systems shutting dooooooooown…..” Clarese said as she started to shut down.

“CLARESE! MY LOVE!” Steelhoof cried. A giant shockwave spreads throughout the entire lab, causing a power failure, and Rose starts charging at Steelhoof. The physical impact was so strong that it pushes him across the lab and he passes out. Rose’s glow stops and she falls asleep in Blaze’s hooves.
After this turn of events, I took off my sunglasses because my blindness went away. “Hey! I can see!” I said excitedly.

“I can’t believe it….. she… has my powers.” Blaze said in shock.

“Wait! What just happened? What did I miss? All I saw was a bright light, and then I got my sight back.” I said.

“Rose… somehow has my phoenix powers.” Blaze said.

“Amazing!” Candy said as she looked at Rose. “Well, Rose is a part of you, Blaze. Of course she has them!” Just then, Candy knew she was violating what Blaze said, and she stepped back. “Oh… sorry…”

“Candy, you’re coming with us.” Blaze said to her.

“No. I can’t go anywhere near Rose. So why live in the same roof as her?” Candy asked.

“Candy, we understand how you felt. We were angry…. Rose…. Loves you. We’re sorry, Candy. You can go near Rose if you like, but please…. Come home.” Blaze begged.

“Y-you mean it?” Candy asked.

“CANDY!” Rose cried out, holding her hooves out for her. Candy starts tearing up and then she runs over to Rose, and gives her a big hug.

“I love you, Rosie.” Candy said to her.

“Is mesa late?” Jar Jar Binks asked.

“VERY late, brah.” I said. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Mesa said I was coming.” Jar Jar said.

“Yep, Jar Jar’s in my story now.” I complained. “As if my story wasn’t bad enough.”

Back at Rainbow Dash’s house, everypony was having some lunch and Rainbow gives Candy a big hug. “It’s so good to have you back, Candy!” Rainbow said.

“It’s really good to be back, sis, and with a new squirt to share the fun with!” Candy said as she places her arm around Rose.

Blaze walks over between Candy and Rainbow and says, “I think I deserve a kiss for saving her?”

“Blaze! You know I’m not much of a kisser!” Rainbow said and blushed.

“C’mon, babe! If I’m gonna be the mister, you just have to be the kisser!” Blaze said.

“No, Blaze!” Rainbow blushed as she pushed him away. “I don’t like kissing in front of ponies!”

“Hey if I were still blind, I wouldn’t see a thing.” I said.

“Please, Dashie?” Blaze begged.

“Ugh! On the cheek.” Rainbow said.

“Close enough for me.” Blaze said. Rainbow leans over and kisses Blaze on the cheek real fast.

“Thank you for saving Candy.” Rainbow said.

Blaze blushed. “No prob!”

“OH! I almost forgot!” I leaned under the table and I brought out a present of some sort. “I never gave you my present yet from the foal sponge-bath!”

“Oh that’s right! The present!” Rainbow just remembered.

“Thanks, brah!” Blaze said as he opened it up, and then once he took a look at the present, he frowned. “It’s a foal monitor.”

“It’s the OTHER foal monitor actually.” I said and chuckled.

Engie then bursted inside the house with a jetpack and said, “So THAT’S where ah put it!”

“This is awesome! Thanks, man!” Blaze said.

“No problemo, brah!” I said. “Also a little something for both Rose and Candy!” I then gave both of them a signed photo of Spitfire.

“A SIGNED AUTOGRAPH PHOTO FROM SPITFIRE?! THANKS, FLARE!” Candy said with glee.

“B-but…. But.” Rainbow stuttered.

“You jealous, sis?” Candy asked mischievously at her.

Rainbow growled. “WHERE’S MY AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE?!”

“Isn’t this awesome, Candy?” I asked.

“It sure is!” Candy said.

“You’re awesome, dude!” Blaze said.

“Hello? Am I invisible? LOOK AT ME!” Rainbow cried.

Author's Notes:

Well now we have TWO new characters in the Friendship is Epic family! Blaze and Rainbow's daughter Rose and a new antagonist Dr. Steelhoof. He's going to be a common antagonist soon, believe me. Like most of the other Blaze stories in FiE, I roleplayed this chapter with the guy who made Blaze, and that's not all, he created Steelhoof, and another person who we RP'd that plays a Rainbow Dash made up Rose, and Rose was pretty common in her's and Blaze's RPs.

I know this moral was kinda lazy, but Blaze requested that Rose finally appears in my story, and I wanted to give Candy another chapter so that's why I made this. Also, it wasn't Blaze's idea to have Steelhoof have an Elmer Fudd accent, it was mine. He wanted Steelhoof to have a German accent, but I thought it would've been funnier if we had someone like Barry Kripkie in this series.

Keep Your Friends Close - Part 1

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“Good evening, my friends.” Swinebutt said and snorted. “As you know, we’ve all had failed attempts to get revenge on one pony. One typical pony that is a vain to our existence! He was a small time; everypony thought he was just a simple lowlife; nothing more than a loser. A loser that makes every other loser seem cool. A loser that has no hope in going on in life. All that has changed now. He moved on to bigger places, bigger life, and now…. he’s happy! He has friends now, he has the fame, and the experience to become something greater than we can ever imagine. We cannot let that happen. I called you all here today because you all have suffered the same deal I have suffered from him, or his friends. Crimson Flare Gun, our prime target! Now is the time for us to all work together and rise up against him! Except this time, Flare is not our only target. After all of our failed attempts, we’re too late. Flare Gun has grown a connection to his friends, his best friends; otherwise known…. as the Noble Six. To share our revenge schemes, we will make them all suffer. It’s more believable to all their friends if all six of them were to go against all that loved them. Besides, we’ll need the Noble Six in order for us to take over, and show those fools that laughed at us, that we… are the dominators of this land! I called upon you all so we can be able to capture them all.”

“Yes, they all shall pay for their interference in our plans, boss. I’ll never forget that day I lost my job, all because of that purple pony: Psyche Illusion! He must go down, one way or another.” former Officer Penny Nickels swore.

“Aquatic Armor, he….. made me in control of Hoofture, even though I was hostage of two Big Pappis!” Ray Promenade said.

“Ze Red Engineer has foiled my plans to capture the enemy intelligence for too long. Let’s make sure the respawns are off, so he can step out of my way permanently.” Blue Spy said.

“My wolleagues wought I was a waughing stock for wapturing this ONE waconian: Waze Woldheart! I’m normally a pro at capturing dwagons and weforming wesearch on wem, but this….. thiis is an wabsolute wisaster!” Professor Steelhoof said.

“I don’t have anything against the Noble Six, but that sister of Flare’s really sickens me!” Fonz Punkskull said. “I was humiliated because of her!”

“Yeah, but Water Gun isn’t apart of this, Fonz.” Swinebutt corrected him.

“Hmph! Whatever! That mare Crystal Iceblast; I hated the way she looked at me! Nopony looks at the one and only Fonz Punkskull like that!” Fonz said.

“Precisely!” Swinebutt said. “With the six of us working together, we can bring an end to the Noble Six once and for all! We all have a little score to settle between these ponies, and this week, it shall happen.”

“So what do you want us to do, boss?” Nickels asked.

“I’d love to see the wesults on this plan! I do not bewieve it shall fall!” Steelhoof said.

“Well, the question is: What if we got the Nobles to go against their friends, but at the same time they don’t?” Swinebutt asked as he placed his pinky near his mouth. Everypony just looked at eachother confusingly and shrugged.

“Well, throughout the last couple of weeks, I’ve finally made my latest invention! BEHOLD!” Swinebutt said holding a piece of brown hair.

“What is that?” Fonz asked.

“Looks like a piece of hair if you ask me.” Ray said.

“This isn’t JUST a piece of hair! This hair belongs to Flare Gun himself!” Swinebutt said.

“Do you wealize how disturbwing it sounds to take wair from wother ponies?” Steelhoof asked.

“Do you realize how hard it is to understand what you’re saying, Steelhoof?” Ray asked, glaring at Steelhoof.

“Look…. from a hair sample, a hoof nail, or even a tear drop, it can make a difference to what I’m experimenting on, my friends!” Swinebutt said and snorted. “For this project, I’ll need you five to collect a sample from each of the Noble Six members.”

“Why?” Fonz asked, flicking a toothpick to the other side of the room.

“HEY! Don’t litter in here!” Swinebutt yelled at Fonz.

Fonz shrugged, not caring and said, “Sorry.”

“That information is classified for the time being. Just gather the samples from each of the Noble Six, and I’ll reveal what I have planned. I can almost guarantee this plan shall not fail.” Swinebutt said.

“WALMOST guarantee?” Steelhoof asked.

“Look, each plan has its risks, but this one I really have a good feeling about! Gather the equipment you think you’ll need from the lab; the next flight to Ponyville leaves in 3 hours, so you five better get ready for what’s ahead.” Swinebutt said. “Also, make sure the Nobles don’t find out what you five are up to. We don’t want any suspicions going on.”

“As you wish, boss!” Nickels said.

“Now, let me ask you all another question.” Swinebutt said. “What is the biggest number you can think of?”

“A MILLION ZILLION BILLION!” Ray yelled.

“Nice one, Ray! How about you, Fonz?” Swinebutt asked.

“Ten.” Fonz said.

“Ok…. can any of you think of a better one?” Swinebutt asked.

“INFINITY!” Steelhoof yelled.

“Can any of you beat that?” Swinebutt asked.

“INFINITY AND ONE!” Nickels yelled.

“Actually we’re looking for infinity + infinity, sorry.” Swinebutt said.

“What about infinity TIMES infinity?” Blue Spy asked. Everypony had a shocking look on their faces, and then Swinebutt made an explosion sound effect, with his hooves on his head; showing his mind has been blown.

This is the FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC: Book 2 finale – Part 1! Let’s get this party started! Today was Pinkie and I’s 4 month anniversary since we started dating. Today, Pinkie’s parents invited her and me over for dinner! While we were walking over to their rock farm, we had a little conversation.

“Thanks for coming with me to my parent’s house for a dinner party, Flare! This is going to be super-dooper fun!” Pinkie said hopping along side me.

“Hey, I wouldn’t miss this out for the world, Pinks! Your parents are very nice ponies! The only thing I’m worried about is your sister.” I said.

“My sister?! You and Limestone get along fine you silly thing you!” Pinkie said, giving me a noogie.

“My sister?! You and Marble get along fine you silly thing you!” Pinkie said, giving me a noogie.

“It’s not Marble, it’s Limestone. She don’t like me that much.” I said.

“Aww, of course she likes you, Flarey! You’re one of the most get-alongest ponies ever!” Pinkie said.

“If only that were true.” I said and nodded. “Oh, hey Trixie!” I waved to Trixie who was working on the farm.

“Hey…” Trixie said in an annoyed tone, while pick-axing a couple of the smaller rocks.

“You think your parents will be happy face to see me, Pinks?” I asked.

“Of course they will! My parents love you!” Pinkie said.

“If only that were true.” I said again. Pinkie hopped over to the door and rung the bell. Her dad Igneous Rock (or Clyde as most of you may know him) opens the door, smiles and says, “Pinkie! Thy is to pleasant to be seeing you, sweetheart!”

“HI, DADDY!” Pinkie excitingly said, hugging her dad.

“Hey, Mr. Pie! Thanks for inviting me over!” I said.

“Since when did thy say thou can come over?” Igneous asked, glaring at me.

“B-but…. I thought you invited me over for dinner?” I asked.

Igneous started laughing. “Thy know thy did, thy was just be foolin’ you! Come in, son! Come in!” Igneous said.

“Aww, what about me daddy? I wanna come in!” Pinkie whined.

“Sorry, Pinkie, but thy don’t be thinking there be enough room for thou.” Igneous said, shrugging.

“Awwwww!” Pinkie whined.

”Here, babe! You can take my chair! I can eat in the living room and watch some TV! My mom never lets me eat anywhere else but the dining room back at home.” I said.

“Thy be just foolin’ thou again! There be enough room for everypony!” Igneous said.

“YIPPIE!” Pinkie cheered, hopping inside the house, and I hop along inside, but got tired right away.

“Wow! I dunno how Pinkie can have the energy to hop this long. I haven’t hopped this long since I hopped on my dad with my sister.” I said. A cutaway shows me and my sister hopping on our dad, with the words ‘Hop on Pop’ on the top. “Hop. Pop. We like to hop. We like to hop on top of pop!” I said.

“STOP!” my dad yelled. “You must not hop on pop.” Just then, I whack my dad with a fish.

“Where did you get that fish?” Water asked.

“There were three on a tree.” I said.

“Fish in a tree? How can that be?” Water asked. I continued hopping on my pop with my sister until we broke his stomach and he had to go to the hospital. The cutaway ends.

“Please, be taking a seat anywhere!” Igneous offered.

“Wow the hardest part of any First Grade class: finding a seat!” I said as I hopped inside the dining room with Pinkie. I sat on the seat in front of me, but I was sitting on a hat. “Ooo comfee!”

“Sorry, sonny, thou’d be sitting on my hat.” Igneous said.

“Oh, sorry, Mr. Pie!” I said, standing back up and moved to the seat next to me, but then I sat on a cat. The cat screamed meowly, lawl! I was about to sit in the seat next to me, but that seat was actually a cactus.

“NO, FLARE, NO! Don’t sit on that!” Pinkie yelled.

“I swear ever since I got here, this turned into a Dr. Seuss book!” I said. “This feels like the time my whole day felt like a Harry Potter book!” A cutaway shows me about to fill in order for one of my customers. “Ok, so what would you like today?”

“Flare Gun must not go to comic-con this year!” Dobby said. “A plot! A plot of terrible things happening!”

“So would you like that here or to go?” I asked.

“Flare Gun must stay here!” Dobby begged.

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about, brah! I’m going to comic-con later today, and don’t tell me not to!” I instructed him. Later, I finally arrived at comic-con, and half of the ponies in comic-con were wearing costumes from the movie ‘It’s A Good Day To Die-Hard’ and The Hang Over. “Well, I should’ve listened to Santa’s little helper, this comic-con sucks.” I said. The cutaway ends.

Just then, I sat down on the table next to Pinkie, and Clyde sat on down. We heard the door open and close and Pinkie’s sister Linestone (Blinkie) and Marble (Inkie) came inside and sat on down.

“I can’t believe we have to sit through this stupid dinner!” Limestone complained.

“Hmm?” Marble asked.

“I had to cancel a date because of this!” Limestone complained. “Because of this thing!” Limestone pointed at me.

“Thing 1 or Thing 2?” I asked.

“Just shut up.” Limestone complained as she facehooved.

“Now, now Limestone. Thou must be the nicen to our guest. This dinner is for him.” Cloudy Quartz (Sue Pie) said.

“That’s not true, mommy, it’s about all of us.” I said.

Pinkie giggled. “She’s not your mommy, silly! She’s mine!”

“I know, but she seems like a mommy to me.” I said.

“I’m telling Fluttershy on you.” Pinkie teased.

“Oh, Flare, you’re such a gem!” Cloudy blushed and said.

“If I were a gem, Spike would’ve eaten me years ago!” I teased and Pinkie giggled.

“How about you Marble? Are you happy to see my Flarey-Warey?” Pinkie asked.

“Mmhmm!” Marble nodded.

Just then, Pinkie’s third sister came inside the house and joined us. “Maud!” Pinkie cried in excitement.

“I’m sorry but who’s that?” I asked.

“Maud Pie! My sister!” Pinkie cried in excitement.

“I thought you only had two sisters?” I asked.

“No… I have, three.” Pinkie said.

“It’s ok… it’s not like I have a problem with ponies knowing who I am. I’d prefer being a part of the background anyway.” Maud said.

“Is she ok?” I whispered to Pinkie. “She sounds like she’s depressed.”

“Are you kidding? She’s happy to meet you!” Pinkie said excitedly. “Maud, this is my special somepony, Flare Gun!”

“Flare Gun, huh? Some pony by the name of Water Gun mentioned you before.” Maud said.

“Water? You met my sister?” I asked.

“It would seem so.” Maud said.

“Nice!” I nodded in excitement.

“Well, we are the very luckiest to have thou in our lives, Flare; thy think thou a wonderful match for our daughter.” Igneous said.

“Mhm.” Marble agreed.

“Aw c’mon, I bet there are many other ponies that are way better than me to be in a relationship with ol Pinkie here!” I said.

“Exactly!” Limestone agreed.

“Wow, that’s rude.” Marble glared at her.

“What? I’m just agreeing to what he said!” Limestone said.

“So what’s for dinner, mom?” Pinkie asked.

“It’s thou favorite: Dark Bark Cake-shaped with extra gravy coming on the side, with the adding of some mashed potatoes, and the cuppa of hot cocoa!” Cloudy said.

“THANKS, MOM!” Pinkie cried in excitement.

“With rock shavings on it.” Cloudy added as she graded some rock spices on the food.

“This is a huge treat! I haven’t had a treat like this since I had that treeburger with onion rings in it!” A cutaway shows Pinkie having a treeburger with onion rings on the side, but before she started eating, she thought, what if she had them both together? So she put the onion rings inside her treeburger and tasted it, and her taste-buds just went to heaven. “ONION RING BURGER, GENIUS!” Pinkie wanted to sell this interesting discovery over at Sugarcube Corner, but those ponies from the Ponyville Bistro took her idea already. The cutaway ends as I continued to eat my food with Pinkie’s family.

Meanwhile, back in Ponyville, Aqua was fixing up a sink pipe for Cheerilee. Once he finished, he wiped the sweat from his forehead and stood up. “There ya go, Cheerilee. The leakage shouldn’t a problem anymore.”

“Thank you, Aqua. I really appreciate your help.” Cheerilee said.

“It’s no trouble at all. I was glad to help.” Aqua said.

“Well, I’m sure your help won’t go unrewarded.” Cheerilee said, writing a check for Aqua.

“Thank ya, Cheerilee.” Aqua said, taking the check and looking at it. “Uhh this check says 120 bits.”

“Yeah, and?” Cheerilee asked with an uncaring tone.

“I charged ya for only 90.” Aqua said.

“Think of it as a tip.” Cheerilee said as she winked at him.

“Oh…. well….. thanks.” Aqua said.

“You’re welcome, Aqua! Come back anytime!” Cheerilee said. Aqua exited her house and started walking on home until he saw a sign saying; ‘Learn from your past from the Mysterious Sun.’ Aqua turned and saw a tent. He shrugged and decided to walk inside.

“Hello?” Aqua said as he walked inside.

”Come in, my son! Come in!” a pony that was sitting down said as he was turning away from Aqua said.

“I heard ya can tell me about my past.” Aqua said.

“That indeed, that indeed.” The pony said, turning the chair around, which is actually a disguised Ray Promenade.

“Well what can ya tell me?” Aqua asked.

“Your future, your past, your present…. I know bloody all.” Ray said, looking at his crystal ball.

“Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to guess. I pretty much don’t care about my future, but my past…. that I wish to learn.” Aqua said.

“I see you in a village, a village full of modern-age technology…. I see you running around with a brown Pegasus.” Ray said.

“That’s my sister Wind Racer.” Aqua said.

“I see your mother and your father. Your mother is doing laundry, and your father is blacksmithing. I assume that’s their jobs?” Ray assumed.

“I don’t remember, but I suppose.” Aqua said.

“What’s this? I see intruders entering your village! They have torches, they’re…. they’re…. they’re turning the village on fire!” Ray explained. Aqua gasped. “All the villagers, they’re either dead or taken prisoner. Only two ponies escaped!”

“Me and Wind Racer.” Aqua assumed.

“Yes…. That was perhaps your past, Aqua.” Ray said.

“Gosh…. I… I never knew.” Aqua said as he started to tear up.

“Yeah well, time to pay up! I’ll need aflock of your hair.” Ray said, even though he’s completely ignoring the tear drop.

“Uhhh, why?” Aqua asked.

“That’s…. my type of money. Hair, gimmie your hair.” Ray demanded.

“Uhh, no thanks, I think I’m good.” Aqua said as he awkwardly stood up.

“Wait, where are you going?” Ray asked.

“Here, just take this check instead.” Aqua said, giving him the check Cheerilee gave him and then he ran off.

”Oi, oi!” Ray tried to stop Aqua, but he got too freaked out and just walked away. Ray needed to think of a new plan to get some DNA out of Aqua. Wow… that… that didn’t sound right at all.

Back at the Pie residents, we continued eating our dinner. I kept telling the Pie’s jokes, and all except Limestone and Maud were laughing. I can understand why Maud wasn’t laughing, but I don’t get why Limestone doesn’t like me all that much, but frankly, I couldn’t care less. Heh, I said ‘frankly’, I know a pony with that name!

“My boy, thou are a natural! Perfect for our little filly girl!” Igneous said.

“Well…. I wouldn’t say perfect.” I said. “I’d actually use the word… perfectly leet.”

“Isn’t Flarey the funniest stallion ever?” Pinkie asked.

“Mhm!” Marble agreed.

“Hey, stop it, you’re embarrassing me!” I said, blushing. “Alright, you say something Limestone!”

“Alright. You’re the biggest weirdo noseball I’ve ever seen.” Limestone said.

“Well, at least you called me big. I hate being called little.” I said.

“LIMESTONE!” Cloudy shouted.

“What? He wanted something for me to say, and I gave him my honest opinion.” Limestone said.

“It’s alright, Mrs. Pie. I don’t mind.” I said. “Maybe she’s just jealous because her sister has the poofy hair and she doesn’t.”

“What does Pinkie have to do with hatred towards you?” Limestone asked.

“And he’s the nicest stallion too! So sweet like cupcakes!” Pinkie said as she nibbled on my mane.

“I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to eat ticks, babe.” I assumed.

“I’m not eating ticks, silly Flare!” Pinkie corrected me. “I’m eating the cockroaches in your hair.”

“Enough of this about me; how about you, Pinkie?” I asked. “You on the other hoof are a complete natural, Pinks! You know what I love the most about you? You’re random just like me! Very funny, wanting to be friends with everypony, and I like that in a mare! You know why?”

“If you sing I’ll kill you.” Pinkie teased.

“Well, I better get my grave ready then.” I said. I stood up on the table with a searchlight over me.

“Wow… mom never let’s us stand on the table.” Maud complained emotionlessly. “She doesn’t even let Boulder on the table.”

“This song is for you Pinks! Been saving it for a very special day, for a very special somepony.” I said as I smiled at her.

“Yippie! So who is that?” Pinkie asked. I turned on my Ipod and started singing More Than A Feeling by Boston, and this ISN’T it a parody! It’s the song itself. Boston’s too awesome of a band to make parodies of; they’re songs are too happy! As I was about to sing, there were cutscenes of Pinkie and I on our wonderful dates! Like the time she threw dirt on my face when I was angry because she keeps saying anger was a sin, and you know what? That made me smile. That’s how much Pinkie means to me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSR6ZzjDZ94

I began the song: “I looked out this morning out this morning and the sun was gone; turned on some music to start my day; I lost myself in a familiar song; I closed my eyes and I slipped away!”

Kept thinking about the dates Pinkie and I had together; like the time I went bowling with Pinkie and she threw a computer monitor at me, the time we went golfing and caught Black Thunder cheating on Crystal (not really), we watched movies at the theater together while doing the brain teasers in the beginning with Spatfure as one of the answers. Everything was perfect, man! Just so romantic!

“It’s more than a feeling…” I sang.

“More than a feeling…” Pinkie’s family sang.

“When I hear that old song they used to play,” I sang.

“More than a feeling…” Pinkie’s family sang.

“I begin dreaming…” I sang.

“More than a feeling….” Pinkie’s family sang.

“Til I see Pinkie Pie trot away! I see my Pinkie Pie trotting away.” I sang.

“That wasn’t in the song. I know that song. It isn’t in the song. You sang it wrong!” Limestone pointed out. Marble then smacked Limestone in the back of the head and shushed her.

I even remember the first time we started dating. Was pretty lonely and wanting to find somepony by my side to keep me happy. If I had a marefriend, I wouldn’t feel so lonely anymore. Pinkie was just what I needed to keep me happy and laughing. Except her waking me up every morning. That drives me NUTS! But you know, it makes up for that animated humor she has. It reminds me of myself, and Markiplier. Whoa! I did NOT say I’m only dating Pinkie cause she reminds me of Markiplier because that is NOT that case! Whoa there! But you know, I find animated humor to be fun, and that’s just what I like. I find it sexy. I’m talking about Pinkie, not Mark, alright?

“So many people have come and gone,” I sang, “their faces fade as the years go by… yet I still recall as I wander on as clear as the sun in the summer sky!”

“It’s Spring.” Limestone corrected me. “See, Pinkie? Why do you have to be in a relationship with somepony who can’t even know what the season is?” You know what I just found out? We went through EVERY season in this story! We started off with Summer because of the Summer Harvest Parade, fall because of the Fall Festival, Winter because of Hearth’s Warming and Winter Wrap Up, and Spring which is where we are now. This is like playing The Last of Us.

Anyways, back to talking about how romantic Pinkie has been to me over the months. Pinkie took care of me when I was sick… no wait, that was Fluttershy, lemme start over. She made me smile when I was sad… that was Fluttershy too but yeah, Pinkie also did that. She helped me at the shop when Lyra or Bonnie were out, but the strange thing is, every time Pinkie is around my shop, Spike has been keeping Crèmepop out. I started to get a little suspicious around that little dragon. What was he hiding from me? Anyways, back to the song.

“It’s more than a feeling…” I sang.

“More than a feeling…” Pinkie’s family sang.

“When I hear that old song they used to play,” I sang.

“More than a feeling…” Pinkie’s family sang.

“I begin dreaming…” I sang.

“More than a feeling….” Pinkie’s family sang.

“Til I see Pinkie Pie trot away!” I sang. “I see my Pinkie Pie trotting awaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAY!”

As the instrumental of the song was on, back in Ponyville, Swinebutt’s henchmen were still trying to get those samples from my friends. Blue Spy was over at Engie’s house trying to sap his machines, and he was successful. Engie tried to catch the Spy, but he escaped, laughing and snorting. Although he completely forgot his mission of retrieving Engie’s samples. I cut the song short because I know of a really good time to continue off this song at the very end of part 3 of this finale. Everypony except Maud and Marble was cheering. Well… Maud was kinda cheering, but in her own way.

“Yaaaay. That song really rocked this house.” Maud said. Bum bum psssssh!

“Big deal!” Limestone complained.

“Mmhmm!” Marble said excitedly.

“You see, this is why I picked him to be my special somepony!” Pinkie said.

“Well, it is to be official now! This stallion of a boy is a natural!” Igneous said.

“Stop it, Clyde! I’m not perfect.” I said, blushing.

“Yeah thy dunno why ponies keep be calling us Pac-Man characters.” Cloudy said.

“I myself prefer Pac-Rock.” Maud said.

“You’re a gamer?” I asked.

“Only if they’re rock related.” Maud said. “I have a ton of rock games. Rock-Life, Harock, Rock-Quake, The Elder Rocks, Rockout: Rock Vegas, Guitar Hero…”

“Thou certainly are perfect, my boy! Thy would be the most proud to call thou my son, and thou have our blessing!” Igneous said.

“Why do you have to say I have all of your blessings? Let them all speak for themselves.” I said.

Everypony laughed. “We all do, Flare Gun. We all do!” Cloudy said.

“Now it has beenth 4 months, and the Pie family scroll says…” Igneous takes out his family scroll and reads it. “Aftereth the child has a special somepony that they completely trusten, in the fourth month, the stallion musth ask the mare to marry him.”

“YAY! That is so awesome, brah! I can see it now! With Pinkie and I married, we can… wait… what?” I asked as my excitement died down.

“Thou have to marry our daughter, Flare! Propose to her by this week.” Cloudy said.

“I’m not sure I follow.” I said.

“You heard them, ol Pinkie is getting married.” Maud said. “I’m so excited I could jump in the air.” Even though she didn’t.

“Nice hop.” I said.

“Thanks.” Maud said.

“THIS IS SO AMAZING!” Pinkie cried. “FLARE AND I WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER, and we will party, and party, and party, and… umm… umm… do other stuff… but YAY! I can’t wait to be Pinkie Gun!” Pinkie gave me a big hug, and the whole Pie family started cheering, except for Limestone cheered.

“Yes, Flare. You have to marry her now.” Limestone said looking mischievously at me. I was pretty nervous; I was silent throughout the rest of the meet. It’s not that I don’t love Pinkie, I really do! But…. I’m not ready to get married! I just got myself a new special somepony, and I have to marry her already?! I mean… we were only together for four months! I can’t ask her to marry me until… I dunno, how long has Sheldon Cooper been with Amy for?

Meanwhile back in Ponyville, Crystal was trotting across town, humming a little tune, but then she started getting her tune out of key because an ice cream truck chime is cutting her off. “HEY! Quit making me lose track!” Crystal yelled. Just then she noticed the ice cream truck and smiled. “Oh boy! Ice cream!”

“Ice cream! Get your ice cream here!” Fonz yelled out in the truck. Crystal ran over to the truck so she can place an order for some ice cream.

“I’ll take a double-scoop rocky-road on a cone, with gummy bears, but take out the green ones.” Crystal requested.

“Certainly!” Fonz said, giving her the ice cream. “Here you go!”

“Thank you!” Crystal said. Crystal didn’t recognize that this is Fonz Punkskull, but she doesn’t remember him really.

Fonz chuckled to himself and said, “That ice cream has dynimate in it! It’ll blow up, and cause her hair to fall off. Then I’ll be able to collect the hair, and give it to Swinebutt!” he said to himself.

“Here you go, Thundy! Your favorite!” Crystal said as she gave the ice cream to Black Thunder.

“Thanks, Crystal!” Thunder said as he started licking the ice cream. “I love you so much, babe!”

“Anything to make my Thundy happy!” Crystal said.

”No, wait! That ice cream was for her!” Fonz cried.

“No its ok, bro.” Crystal said. “I’m dieting. I’ll just take some vanilla frozen yogurt.”

“Well, would you look at the time, I must be going now!” Fonz said with an embarrassing tone as he drove the truck away.

“What’s his problem?” Thunder asked.

“Hey, Thundy? Wanna know something that’ll blow your mind?” Crystal aske, as Thundy puts the entire scoop of dynamite ice cream in his mouth. Thundy nods. “Ok, so this….” But before Crystal can start, the dynamite in Thundy’s mouth explodes, which causes his face to get all dark, and al his hair to fall off. “I DIDN’T EVEN SAY THE JOKE YET, THUNDY!” Crystal yelled at her. Thunder starts coughing up the ash in his mouth. He’ll be fine though.

Meanwhile back at the Pie farm, Pinkie and I walked out of her parent’s house, and out of their farm as we headed on home. “Yippie! Wasn’t that fun, Flarey?” Pinkie asked, while hopping by my side.

“Y-yeah, it was great.” I said, still freaked out about the whole marriage thing.

“My family loves you, Flarey! They think we’re perfect together!” Pinkie said.

“P-praise the Wiz-wizards.” I said nervously.

“You better find me a ring, Flarey! You have to propose by the end of the week, otherwise we’re forced to break up.” Pinkie said.

“Pinkie, let me tell you something.” I said, as I stopped walking, and she started hopping in place. “I’d love to marry you, Pinkie, but do we have to go with your family code? Do I have to propose this week?”

“That’s what the code says!” Pinkie said.

“What if we violate it?” I asked.

“I’m forced to break up with you.” Pinkie said sadly.

“Can we just run away together? We don’t have to follow your family code.” I said.

Pinkie gasped. “DON’T SAY THAT! We must follow the family code, Flare Gun! If we don’t then they’ll feast upon our souls!”

“GASP!” I yelled. “Wait…. why would they feast upon our souls?”

“Oh I don’t know.” Pinkie said and giggled. “I’m not sure what would happen. No Pie ever broke the family code before.”

“I don’t know why you have a family code; that sounds stupid.” I said. “Then again… dare to be stupid.”

“What? You have a code to get into your trailer though.” Pinkie reminded me.

“Wrong code, Pinks.” I reminded her.

“I already know your code! It’s 1-3-3-7!” Pinkie said.

I shushed her quietly. “SHUSH! Do you have to say it so loud?”

“It means more visitors, doesn’t it?” Pinkie asked.

“It also means more thieves to break into my house; plus, it’ll be an advantage to Swinebutt and his goons!” I said.

“Why can’t you and Swinebu-“ Pinkie starts laughing hysterically after she says his name. “I can’t breathe!” she cried.

“Why can’t me and Swinebutt what?” I asked.

”Hang on!” Pinkie said, continuing the laugh reaaaaaaaaaaaally hard. I just stood there with a blank look on my face since I wasn’t really in the mood, but I just let her do her thing. After a few minutes she finally stopped and stood up. “I’m sorry, Flarey! Ok… I’m good. Why can’t you, and-“ Just then she started laughing really hard again. I just facehooved myself. I used my magic to place her on my back, and I started walking back to Ponyville. All the way back she continued laughing her flank off, only because of Swinebutt’s name. I carried her all the way back to Sugarcube Corner, and I placed her in bed where she continued laughing, but before I walked out, she stopped laughing and asked, “Why can’t you and him get along?”

I sighed. “Sigh. Trust me, Pinks; I tried. He sold me out. I wish we could get along though.”

“You were able to get along with Herb Leafhorn Sr., right?” Pinkie asked.

“Junior, not senior,” I corrected her, “and it’s not really the same thing. Herb regretted it, but Swinebutt on the other hoof does not. All he does after he tries to make my life miserable is snort while he laughs and he places his pinky near his mouth like Dr. Evil.”

“But can’t you two just try? I don’t like it when my friends don’t get along.” Pinkie said.

“Since when were you and Swinebutt friends?” I asked.

“Oh Swinebutt! I thought we were talking about Herb Senior?” Pinkie asked as she giggled.

“Junior, Pinkie.” I corrected her again. “Herb Leafhorn JUNIOR, not senior. He still has a grudge on my family.”

“HA! You said Swinebutt again!” Pinkie said as she continued laughing. Really, I didn’t even laugh that hard the first time I heard that name ‘Swinebutt’, which was on Leisure Suit Larry 6.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Pinks.” I said.

“Okie doki loki! Good night, Flarey!” Pinkie said as she stretched her head towards me and giving me a big kiss. I blushed, but I was concerned to how Pinkie stretched her neck like that.

Engie came inside, stretched his neck, and said, “Nope.” Turns out Engie can do that too. Wish I could. Pinkie went to sleep, and Engie and I walked over to the Cider Bar with Blaze, Psyche, Aqua, and Crystal to hang, and we were also watching TV.

“And now back to Declaring War on the Griffon Kingdom in reverse, here on PNT.” The TV announcer said.

“YOU PONIES ARE DEAD!” the griffin leader yelled.

“BRING IT ON, GRIFFONS!” Luna yelled.

“THIS MEANS WAR!” the griffin leader yelled.

“I BET EVEN KATHY GRIFFIN TALKS ABOUT YOU!” Luna taunted.

“I BET YOUR CASTLE SMELLS WORSE THAN YOUR STABLES!” the griffon leader yelled.

“No, we can run our kingdom just fine! It’s you that’s the greedy ones!” Luna said.

“Look at your prices going up, Luna! So greedy you are! I bet you can’t run your own kingdom!” the griffon taunted at her.

“Look, what I’m saying is, we can’t let your civilian tourists to steal everything we own!” Luna said.

“My people love to tour Equestria, that’s why we need full access!” the griffon leader said.

“I can’t allow full access without permits, I am sorry.” Luna said.

“Look, my people love Equestria, and would want to visit there all the time! Can’t we just have full-access without the need of pass ports?” the griffon leader asked.

“What would you like to ask me?” Luna asked.

“I just need the request of one favor, Princess Luna.” The griffon leader said.

“I’m doing fine, thank you! What do you need?” Luna asked.

“I’m doing swell, how are you?” the griffon leader asked.

“Hello, this is Princess Luna! We are here with our friends from the Griffon Kingdom! Good to have you here! How are you?” Luna asked.

As we were watching TV, Aqua noticed my sad look. “Hey, Flare. Why the long face?” he asked.

“Why you asking that? Is it because I’m a horse?” I asked.

“No, it’s not like that at all.” Aqua said.

“You think horses are ugly, Aqua?! HUH?!” I yelled at him.

“What are ya talkin’ about, mate?” Aqua asked.

I took a deep breath. “I apologize for that, brah. Just something going through my mind.”

“Again? Always something going through your mind Flare!” Psyche complained.

“Brah, you just put the meaning of ‘shut up, Psyche’ to a whole new level.” I said to him.

“What’s your problem, man?” Blaze asked.

“It’s Pinkie.” I said.

“Relationship issues?” Blaze asked.

“No, we’re getting along just fine. We’ve never been closer.” I said.

“Then what seems to be the problem?” Engie asked.

“Her family has a strict code. I have to purpose to Pinkie THIS WEEK!” I said.

“That’s wonderful, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Lucky!” Psyche complained.

“No, that’s not wonderful, and shut up, Psyche!” I demanded.

“What?” Psyche asked.

“I like Pinkie, but spending the rest of my life with somepony as hyper as her?” I asked.

“What do you mean? You wanted to spend the rest of your life with Pinkie I thought?” Blaze asked.

“But she’s an animal, Blaze! You think I want to wake up every morning like this?” I asked. A cutaway shows me sleeping in bed, and then Pinkie suddenly uses her trumpet to play Reveille, that military morning song right in my ear. “GAAAH! SIR, I’M AWAKE, SIR! Wait what?”

“Morning, sleeping beauty!” Pinkie said.

“Pinks, it’s…. 5 in the morning! Wake me up in 2 hours!” I instructed her.

“Silly, Flare! Wake up earlier means more time of fun!” Pinkie said, pulling me out of bed. The cutaway ends.

“And let’s not forget, she has her pet alligator, Gummy.” I said.

“He’s harmless though.” Psyche reminded me.

“To ponies, yes, but what about my fish?” I asked. Another cutaway shows Pinkie placing Gummy in the fish tank.

“You all play nice now!” Pinkie said as she walked away.

“What is that a dinosaur?” Darrel asked.

“THAT’S AN ALLIGATOR, DARREL!” Pearl freaked out.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect us!” Rainbow yelled. “Halt! You’re violating entry! Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the….” Before Rainbow could finish, Gummy swallows him.

“RAINBOW!!!!” all the fish cried.

“Well! I guess I’m in charge now!” Dorthey said with a mischievous look, until Gummy swallows her too.

“Wow, I envy his appetite!” Yoyo said. The cutaway ends, but to let you know this was only a gag. My fish are fine.

“Flare, Pinkie is the most funnest pony ever! How can you say such things?” Crystal asked.

“Funnest ain’t a word, Crystal.” Aqua corrected her.

“Bird’s the word though.” Psyche teased.

“SHUT UP, PSYCHE!” I yelled, slamming my drink on the table. “THAT IS MY LINE! NEVER STEAL MY LINE FROM ME!”

“Wasn’t your line in the first place.” Psyche corrected me.

“Well, I…. for Wizard of Hope’s sake!” I complained.

“You hear that sound? Dog got served!” Psyche whispered with a mischievous look. I have to admit, that little moment Psyche just had was pretty leet! I’m proud of him!

“You know, I still didn’t get you for stealing my line though. I’m the one who says ‘oh snap’.” Crystal reminded me.

“Dibs on me takin’ that line when you die, Crystal.” Engie said.

“But Flare, how can you say those things about Pinkie?” Crystal asked.

“I… DK, Crystal. I-D-K…. that’s weird. Why would I say any of that about Pinkie?” I asked.

“You better watch out, partner. Never bad-mouth Pinkie. She’s loved by the entire town, and the entire town will hate ya if ya ever upset ‘er.” Engie advised me.

“Surprise face!” I gasped.

“Now Engie, everypony is entitled to their own opinions, right?” Aqua asked.

“Now with Pinkie. Say something bad about ‘er, and the entire town will end ya, Flare!” Engie said. Just then, Professor Steelhoof in a disguise comes by and takes our cider glasses.

“HEY! We were still drinking those!” Crystal complained.

“Wow! So many rude waiters! They just take your drinks without asking if you’re done! I hate that!” Psyche complained. Steelhoof enters the kitchen, and uses his cybernetic eye to scan for any of our saliva. It’s gross, I know, but it’s a part of his mission.

“Ah ha! Waze Woldheart’s salaviwa! Pewfect!” Steelhoof said.

“Excuse me? What are you doing with those glasses? Give me them, and get back to work!” one of the bus ponies ordered, taking the cider glasses and cleaning them up, washing off the saliva.

“Hey! I was still wusing those!” Steelhoof complained.

“Yeah, well…. get some more and bring them in.” the bus pony ordered him.

“Wes, ma’am.” Steelhoof said, bringing in more glasses and dirty dishes, but then he stops and realizes. “Wait a winuite! I don’t weven work here!” The next day came, I went over to my shop to open up. Crèmepop put on some make-up and placed some flowers on her mane, making herself extra nice today.

“Alright, Crèmepop! Today’s the day you’re gonna finally impress Flare Gun, so much he’d want you!” she said to herself in the mirror. “Look at you pretty mare. Who wouldn’t want an attractive mare like you?”

“Probably everypony you ever known. Flare won’t want to date you!” the Crèmepop in the mirror said to her with a mean look.

“Yes he will, don’t say that!” Crèmepop freaked out.

“Why? He wasn’t attracted to you before, what makes you think he would now?” reflection Crèmepop asked.

“SHUT UP!” Crème yelled, punching her reflection in the face, disobeying the laws of physics. “I THOUGHT WE SETTLED THIS LAST TIME?!” Crème walked outside her house and started skipping on to my shop while humming a little tune.

“Wow, Crèmepop! You look beautiful today, darling.” Rarity said, as she was walking by.

“Thank you, Rarity!” Crème said, waving to her.

“Wow, Crème! I wouldn’t be surprised if you were in a model magazine!” Derpy said as she flew by.

Crème giggled. “Me neither, Derpy! Me neither!”

Mynx whistled as Crème walked by. “I’d take a piece of that” he said. His marefriend Spark Note then suddenly smacked him in the back of the head out of jealousy. “OW! My Luna, Sparky!”

Crème walked on inside my shop, and said, “Hi Spike!”

”Hey, Crème!” Spike said, reading a jewelry magazine, mostly the gem jewelry section.

“Hi, Flare!” Crème said as she posed in front of me.

“Well, well! Look at you, Crèmey! You look pretty hot today! Probably should turn on the ceiling fans.” I said.

Crème giggled. “Thank you, Flare! I made this look especially for you!”

“Well, I gotta say, Crème! I was feeling a little down before, but you just made my day!” I said.

“Isn’t that the point?” Crème asked and giggled.

“I suppose so!” I said. “I bet you’ll look great filling out orders today, Crèmey! Go ahead and grab a notebook and a pen, and get right on it!”

“Sure thing!” Crème said as she grabbed a notebook, and went to start filling orders. Just as I went back to work, Pinkie started hopping inside.

“Hey, Spikey! Where’s Flare?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh no!” Spike said to himself. “Uhh, he’s not here. You should come back later.” He tried to push her out.

“Spikey, don’t be rude to a customer!” Pinkie said and giggled.

“Seriously, Flare is in the middle of something, and he’ll love it if you came back later.” Spike said.

“Is he in his office? GREAT! I’ll go see him in then!” Pinkie said as she hopped towards my office.

“Pinkie, wait!” Spike cried. “I can’t let Pinkie near Flare when Crèmepop is here! She’ll know he’s in a relationship with her, and it’ll break her heart! Not just that, Flare might also lose a friend! I can’t let that happen!” Spike was about to run over to my office, but Pinkie was already inside and Crème didn’t even notice her go in. Spike decided to keep Crème away from my office door, and not even face that direction in case she comes out.

“Hi, Flarey!” Pinkie said as she went inside my office.

“Hey, Pinkie! What’s up?” I asked while staring in my laptop.

“I wanted to see the best stallionfriend I ever had!” Pinkie said, hopping towards the back of my desk. “Whatcha looking at?

“NOTHING!” I yelled as I closed my laptop.

“Looked like something.” Pinkie said.

“Believe me, babe. It’s nothing.” I said.

“Are you hiding something from me?” Pinkie asked, squinting at me.

“Perhaps, but whatever was on here is nothing important.” I said.

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie said. “So have you made your decision yet?”

“For what?” I asked.

“For marrying me, duh!” Pinkie said.

“Oh…. that. Well, I’m still thinking it over.” I said.

“Don’t think too slow now! You have to make your decision by tomorrow!” Pinkie said as Spike peeped inside.

“I understand that, babe, and I’d love to marry you, but this is a big decision to make, and I’m terrible at big decisions.” I said.

A cutaway shows me in a video store, picking out the DVDs between Scary Movie, and Not-So Scary Movie. “Ugh! I can only afford one! Which do I pick?”

“The store will be closing in 5 minutes.” The pony on the intercom said. I started whining, because I didn’t know which one to pick. The cutaway ends.

“You have to make your decision soon, Flarey. Otherwise…. we’d have to break up.” Pinkie said upsettingly.

“I don’t wanna break up with you, Pinks! I less then three you! You’re the only mare for me!” I said.

“I DON’T WANT US TO BREAK UP, FLARE!” Pinkie yelled with tears in her eyes.

“No, Pinks! Please don’t cry! I just got this floor mopped!” I begged. “Actually, I used a Swiffer-mop instead. Doesn’t leave any filth behind. I’ll never need my old mop again after I got this, baby.” I said like they do in the advertising commercial. My closet door opened, and my old mop was peeking over at me while the song Baby Come Back was playing in the background, and the mop was dripping sadly as it watched me with the Swiffer.

“Ok, Flarey. Just so I know you truly love me, you’d make your decision to marrying me by tomorrow.” Pinkie said.

“I promise I’ll think it over.” I said.

“Pinkie promise?” Pinkie asked.

“Yes, cross my heart, flying, cupcakes in eyes all that stuff. Yeah.” I said, making the Pinkie Promise.

“Alright, Flarey! See you tomorrow!” Pinkie said as she leaped out of my office.

“Hey, what was Pinkie Pie doing in Flare’s office?” Crème asked as she saw Pinkie hopping out.

“I-it’s nothing I assume. Probably just an invitation for a party.” Spike lied.

“Then why didn’t she invite me?” Crème asked sadly.

“She probably did! She said she was giving an invitation for Flare to give to you too!” Spike said.

“Oh, ok!” Crème said as she continued cleaning the table, and Spike felt relieved. Meanwhile, Psyche was trotting across town and he sees a truck in town that says ‘Donate your blood, help save lives.’ Fluttershy and AppleJack walk out of the truck with band aids on their arms.

“How did I do?” Flutters asked.

“Ya did a brave thing, Fluttershy! Yer helpin’ save some lives.” AppleJack said.

“I know! It didn’t even hurt that much! Felt like a bee sting, and I get stung by bees once in a while.” Flutters said.

“Ah believe you deserved yerself a little reward over at Soup ‘n’ Salads!” AppleJack said, putting her arm around Flutters.

“You mean it, AppleJack?” Flutters asked with a big smile on her face.

“Eeyup! Y’all earned it!” AppleJack said.

“That sounds like a good idea!” Psyche said as he trotted over to the blood donation van, and he climbs inside. “Hello? I’d like to donate some blood, and help save lives!”

“Ah, of course, my friend! We’d be thrilled to have you donate your blood!” Officer Nickels said mischievously while wearing a disguise. “Please take a seat on the chair, and relax your left hoof.” Psyche sat down on the chair, and placed his left hoof on the holder. Nickels ties a rubber band this on Psyche’s arm to tighten the vessel, and then he cleans Psyche’s arm with a cotton ball, and he sticks the needle in to take the blood out. After he was finished, he puts a band-aid on.

“So where is this blood going to?” Psyche asked.

“Any place that it’s needed, my friend! Any place that it’s needed!” Nickels said.

“That’s good!” Psyche said.

“Alright, done!” Nickels said.

“I don’t think that was enough blood.” Psyche said.

“That was good enough! We’re closed now, ta ta!” Nickels said as he kicked Psyche out of the blood drive van.

“Well, then….” Psyche said as he stood back up, dusted his legs, and then walks off.

“HA! I got Psyche’s blood!” Nickels said excitedly as he was carrying a package with Psyche’s blood.

“HEY! What are you doing here?” a doctor with an Indian accent asked, as he kicked Nickels out of the van.

”I guess I spoke too soon.” Nickels said upsettingly because the blood was inside the van still.

I went on my lunch break, but I needed some help. I invited Twilight to go over to the Ponyville Bistro with me because I needed some advice. I went on over and she met me over there, and we took a seat. “Thanks for coming to lunch with me, Twilight. I don’t know where else to go.” I said.

“It’s no trouble at all, Flare! What do you need help with?” Twilight asked.

“I know you’re one of Pinkie’s best friends, and I’m her special somepony.” I started.

“Go on.” Twilight said.

“I love Pinkie, I love her with all my hearts! All two of my hearts, because I’m the Doctor!” I said.

“No, I’m the Doctor.” Doctor Whooves corrected me.

“You always have to ruin my Doctor Whooves jokes, don’t you Doctor Whooves?” I complained.

“It’s just the Doctor, and if you’re going to say jokes about me, at least do them right.” He said as he walked away.

“So what’s going on between you and Pinkie? Relationship issues?” Twilight asked.

“No, not relationship issues. You’re the second pony who said that!” I said.

“Oh, lucky me!” Twilight said.

“So I went to dinner with Pinkie and her parents, and I gotta say they really less than three’d me!” I said.

“That’s good! Part of being in a relationship is making sure the parents and the family like you too.” Twilight said.

“Well, except Limestone.” I said. “I know, but she don’t like me that much.”

“Well, you can’t be friends with everypony Flare, but I’m sure if you two were to bond more, then perhaps a friendship might go on. Maybe she’s rubbing you the wrong way, or maybe she’s jealous, I don’t know. Maybe you can tell Pinkie to tell Limestone to give you a chance.” Twilight suggested.

“Sounds like an awesome possum idea, sista! But that’s not the problem I’m having.” I said.

“Oh? Then what seems to be the problem then?” Twilight asked.

“You said ‘then’ twice.” I pointed out.

“Oh… well, sorry about that.” Twilight said.

“It’s cool. So the problem I’m having, is that the Pie family lives under a strict code. I’ve been going out with Pinkie for four months already, and at the end of the fourth month, I’m suppose to purpose to Pinkie to be my wife.” I explained.

“So, what’s the catch?” Twilight asked.

“The catch is…” I was about to explain, but somepony was throwing a frisbee at me, and I caught it with my mouth.

“Nice catch, dude!” Black Thunder yelled in excitement.

“Thanks, brah! Nice make-up and nice new hair-do too!” I said, talking about his burned up nearly-bald head after the ice cream incident.

“Thanks!” Thunder said as he takes the Frisbee.

“Ok, so the point is…” I was about to explain to Twilight, but my sister Water was pointing a pen at me.

“So, what would you two like to order?” Water asked.

“You see Twilight, THAT’S the point right there.” I said as I pointed to Water’s pen.

“I’ll have a daisy sandwich, no mustard.” Twilight said.

“I’ll take a bark creaser salad.” I said.

“Coming right up!” Water said as she takes our menus.

“Alright if there are no more interruptions, I’ll need more detail to your problem.” Twilight said.

“Ok, so….” I was about to explain, but then an anvil nearly dropped on me. “Aw c’mon, this doesn’t make sense! How is this a pun to the word ‘detail’?”

“Sorry, Flare!” Derpy said, waving to me.

“Consider that out of your paycheck!” I said to her.

“Ok, Flare, I need….” Twilight was about to say, but I interrupted her.

“I know what you need, stop saying anything, I don’t want anymore puns or even a safe falling on me.” I said.

“Ok, sorry.” Twilight said.

“So Pinkie’s family has this strict code. After the fourth month that the special somepony has been in a relationship with the son or daughter, they must get married!” I explained.

“That sounds….. random.” Twilight said.

“It’s Pinkie’s family, what can you expect?” I reminded her.

“Good point.” Twilight said. “So you’re going to marry her?”

“I-D-K.” I said. “I’m not sure if I’m ready to marry yet. But I have to make my decision tomorrow otherwise she’s forced to break up with me.”

“Ouch!” Twilight said.

“No kidding!” I said.

“No, ouch, you stepped on my hoof.” Twilight corrected me.

“Sorry, I was just playing hoofsies. I loved playing that game with my sister when we were younger!” I said, chuckling, and kicking Twilight’s hooves.

“Oook, what do you want me to do?” Twilight asked.

“Help me a way out of this! I don’t want to marry her right now, but I don’t want to break up!” I said.

“If this is Pinkie’s family code, I’m sorry Flare, but I don’t see another way.” Twilight said.

“Then I guess it has come to this…. I…. have to break up with her.” I said.

“Flare, I’m telling you this as a friend, Pinkie is my best friend, and it would be terrible if I saw her with a broken heart. Please…. let her down easy.” Twilight advised me.

“What if I don’t?” I asked.

“Then I can see why nopony wanted to be your friend back home.” Twilight said.

“How could you say that, Twilight?!” I asked.

“Look, I’m not saying you can’t do what you want, but Pinkie doesn’t deserved to be harsh on. But I know you’ll do the right thing, Flare.” Twilight said.

I nodded. “Kay kay.”

“Alright, I’m glad you’re feeling safe right now.” Twilight said. Just then a safe finally falls on me. I used my magic to turn the combination, and the safe opened, and I was all in black and blue.

“TWILIGHT!” I yelled. “I keep telling you not to say any puns!”

“Sorry!” Derpy said with an embarrassed smile.

For the rest of the day, the Noble Six has been getting these strange characters to take the flock of their hair, a tear drop, or try to beat them up for blood.

Swinebutt’s goons tried shuffling who they should hunt down. Steelhoof went to tell Crystal a sad story but when Crystal started crying, she ran off before he could collect any tears.

Fonz went over to pick a fight with Aqua, but Aqua wasn’t one that wanted to fight, but he had to defend himself. Aqua did bleed a bit, but before Fonz can collect any blood, Aqua ran off to call the police, and the police chased Fonz out of town.

Blue Spy tried to gain saliva from Blaze by disgusting himself as Rainbow Dash, and try to get him to kiss him, which…. was pretty weird. Sounds like a terrible way to get any data from kissing. Spy chickened out before he could get anything though.

Ray tried to disguise himself as a barber to try to get some hair from Psyche, but Psyche didn’t want a haircut, but he somehow made him. After Ray cut off a piece of Psyche’s hair, he was successful. He put the hair in the baggy and ran off.

Finally, Nickels paid a little filly to get Engie to spit in her cup. The filly was adorable, and looked homeless and dirty, and Engie couldn’t resist. So he spit in the cup. The filly walked over to Nickels to give him the cup, but the filly tripped over and the cup fell in the dirt, and dirt got all over. This made Nickels pretty angry, but seeing that little filly face made him smile because everypony knows they can’t say no to a little filly.

Nightfall came, I closed the shop and went on home. I was about to go bed, but I wanted to talk to my fish first. “I dunno you guys! This is a tough decision to make! Should I stay or should I go?”

“If I go there it’ll be trouble!” Darrel sang. “And if I stay it will be double! Should I stay or should I go?”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with Pinkie, but does it have to be right away?” I asked.

“Hey, it could always be worse.” Piddles said.

“How can it be worse?” Yoyo asked.

“There could be a fourth princess, and that’ll really screw things up for Equestria.” Piddles said.

“But, Piddles? What does that got to do with this?” Pearl asked.

“It doesn’t. I just don’t want a fourth princess.” Piddles said.

“Yeah that’ll somewhat not make any sense. I mean, it’s bad enough they added Cadance in the picture, whom Flare might still be mad at, but a fourth princess will just mess everything up.” Rainbow said.

“Why are we talking about this?!” Dorthey asked.

“I have to make my decision by tomorrow otherwise Pinkie will leave me!” I said upsettingly. “Then again…. if I break up with her…. what’s the whole town gonna think of me?”

“Regardless, I don’t think they’ll resist not having your pizza.” Yoyo said.

“How would you know, Yoyo? You haven’t tasted it yet.” Piddles reminded him.

“By the looks of everypony’s faces, I’m assuming they can’t ever get away from it.” Yoyo said.

“I’m going to sleep now. Good night, fishies!” I said as I turned off the light, and making myself comfee on the bed.

”Pssst, he’s gonna have a nightmare about breaking up with Pinkie!” Darrel whispered.

“Shhh! Don’t foreshadow it!” Rainbow whispered. When I entered dreamland, I was trotting over to Sugarcube Corner.

I start knocking on the door three times and saying Pinkie’s name. Knock knock knock, “Pinkie?” Knock knock knock, “Pinkie?” Knock knock knock, “Pinkie?”

Pinkie opens the door with a big smile on her face. “Hi Flarey! It’s great to see you! Come in!”

“Thanks, Pinks!” I said as I walked inside, following her to the couch.

“So, did you make your decision? Is that a ring in your pocket?” Pinkie asked.

“Actually, Pinks,…. I did make my decision.” I said.

“YES! This is going to be so fun! You and me are gonna spend the rest of our lives together!” Pinkie yelled in excitement giving me a big hug.

“Actually…. about that…. I actually decided I’m not going to marry you.” I said.

“What?” Pinkie asked shockingly.

“Yeah, but I’ll respect your family code, and I’ll let you off easy.” I said.

Pinkie had a shocking look on her face, but then she started laughing. “That’s a good one, Flarey!”

“I did not say Swinebutt’s name again.” I corrected her.

Pinkie started laughing really hard again. “SWINEBUTT!?”

“Pinkie don’t make this difficult for me!” I begged.

“What’s wrong, Flarey?” Pinkie asked, still laughing.

“I just wanted to-“ but before I could say anything, Pinkie continued laughing at Swinebutt’s name again. It was starting to annoy me. I couldn’t hold it any longer, I had to spit it out! “PINKIE! LISTEN TO ME!”

“Wow, looks like somepony woke up on the wrong side of the bed today!” Pinkie giggled.

“Pinkie, I’m breaking up with you!” I said.

“Flarey, stop joking around!” Pinkie said, continuing to laugh.

“It’s not a joke, Pinkie! I’m sorry! You’re making me do something I am not ready for! I can’t marry you, I’m not ready. I don’t have any other choice.” I said, with tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry! Holy Wizard of Feelings, I’m so glad I got that off my chest.”

“Y-you... you don’t love me?” Pinkie asked.

“That is not true, Pinks. You know I less than three you, but your family is forcing me to do something I cannot do. It’s the only way. But we can ALWAYS be friends, no matter what!” I said.

“F-Flare…. nopony has ever spoken to me like that before.” Pinkie said with a shocking look on her face.

“Probably because nopony seen your parents like I did. Plus, I had a hearty breakfast this morning, so I knew what I had to say.” I said.

“Flare…. tour decision….. it… it breaks my heart.” Pinkie said, with tears in her eyes.

“Pinkie, quit messing around. I see you as a sister to me, and I would never want to make you this sad. I don’t want to make that same mistake like I did to my last marefriend.” I said. Oooooo! Sister-zoned!

A cutaway shows me at my high school, and my old marefriend Blueberry Pie was walking towards me saying, “Hey Flare, you ready for Journalism?”

“Yeah, I’ll meet you there!” I said, but then Blueberry started crying, and then she jumped out of the school window, and landed in a dumpster, and then continued running to the street, trying to call for a cab. Then she runs to the airport, still crying, and flies to…. I don’t know where.

Her friend that she was walking with angrily said to me, “YOU’RE AWFUL!” I was really confused, because I didn’t know what I just said. That proceeding joke was brought to you in part by: STALLIONS! Stallions….. not knowing what they did since the 1960s, when they invented rap. The cutaway ends.

“Flare, I…. I can’t be around you anymore.” Pinkie said upsettingly.

“Wh-why not? We can go back to the things were before! Before we were not in a relationship! We were the best of friends, were we not?” I asked.

“Flare…. I wanted you. I needed somepony to help me complete my life! There was an empty space inside me, and you filled it. Now that you’re doing this, the empty space expanded, and now I feel completely empty!” Pinkie said sadly.

“Pinkie, please!” I begged.

“Goodbye…. Flare Gun!” Pinkie said angrily, with tears in her eyes, as she pulled a lever and ejected me out of Sugarcube Corner.

“Wow that was hard landing. I didn’t feel anything though. Did my head go num?” I asked. I looked over and saw my friends up ahead. “Sup brahs?” They all looked at me with angry looks on their faces. “Oh look at you guys! An angry face contest! Sounds awesome!” I gave them an angry look too, but some of them just rolled their eyes. “What’s going on?”

“We don’t want to talk to you anymore, Crimson!” Crystal said.

“Yeah, Crimson! Y’all suck!” Engie said.

“Hey, I don’t like to be called my first name!” I reminded me.

“Well you deserve it, Crimson!” Psyche said, grabbing my vest. “And you deserve to be grabbed on by the vest!”

“WHY?!” I asked.

“Why? You know why! You broke up with Pinkie, the happiest, fun-loving, random pony in Equestria; and YOU broke her heart!” Blaze said.

“I let her down easy!” I said.

“Don’t care. Why would ya do this to her, Crimson? WHY?! Why do we even put up with you?!” Aqua asked angrily. After Aqua yelled at me, that’s when I started to have the feeling it was a dream because Aqua NEVER yells, but I didn’t know for sure.

“I’m only doing what Twilight told me!” I said.

“Flare, you have no idea what I was saying to do at the Bistro, do you?” Twilight asked angrily at me.

“You told me if I wanted to break up with her, I’d let her down easy.” I reminded her.

“WELL YOU WEREN’T EASY ENOUGH!” Twilight yelled. “Now look at her! She’s sad, her mane’s deflated, and you made it happen!”

“I WAS ONLY TAKING YOUR ADVICE! For Wizard of Hope’s sake, sista! What do you want me to do?” I asked.

“Leave Ponyville. Leave, and never come back.” Twilight ordered me.

“What y’all did to Pinkie was unforgivable!” AppleJack said.

“She’s our BEST FRIEND, Flare! After all she did for you, you broke up with her!” Rainbow Dash said.

“You are so selfish!” Fluttershy said.

”Why do I even call you my brother, when all you do is make ponies miseriable?!” Water asked.

“Aw c’mon, Water! You’re my sister! I done a lot for you!” I said.

“Well, Pinkie did a lot for YOU, and now look at her, this the thanks you give?!” Water asked.

“I shouldn’ve never hooked you up with her Flare. You betray her, you betray us all!” Spike said.

“NO, I DIDN’T!” I yelled.

“Buck ‘em out of town!” AppleJack yelled.

“Eeeyup!” Big Mac said, bucking me way out of town. I flew across Ponyville and hit my trailer. Everypony in town started throwing torches, and firing their magics inside my trailer, burning it all.

“NOOOO! MY STUFF! MY FISHIES!” I yelled.

“Is that all you care about, Flare? Your stuff, and your fish?!” Candy Cotton yelled at me.

“We got our cutie marks, Flare.” Scootaloo said.

“AND HERE THEY ARE!” Sweetie Belle yelled, showing me their cutie marks which is me with devil horns, and a trident, along with a big X over me.

“I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!” I yelled as I started running out of town. The whole town was angry mob, and chased me out. I hid inside the Everfree Forest. There was a dark cloud in the sky shaped as Pinkie’s face and it rained on me with a crying sound on it.

“GIGGLE AT THE GHOSTIES!” one of the Everfree trees said, as all the trees started laughing at me. I held my ears; I started screaming, and I continued running.

“AAAAAH! CRYING FACE! MAKE THIS ALL STOP! LUNA, HELP! LUUUUNNAA!” I yelled very loud with tears in my eyes. I couldn’t take this torture. I kept screaming Luna’s name! “LUNA! PLEASE, I NEED YOU!”

Eventually Luna finally showed up in front of me. “You seem to be in a tight spot right now, Flare Gun.” She said.

“Please tell me this a dream!” I begged.

“No, Flare, it is not.” Luna said, shaking her head.

“NOOOO!” I yelled.

“It’s a nightmare, which isn’t even considered a dream, if you ask me.” Luna said.

“Luna, I don’t know what to do! I’m afraid if I actually break up with Pinkie, this will happen!” I said.

“Ah, Flare Gun, I keep seeing these nightmares from all over. Relationship issues is a powerful feeling.” Luna said.

“Ugh! Why does everypony think this is a relationship issue?! It’s not a relationship issue!” I complained.

“Regardless of your feelings, Flare Gun, the choice will always be yours.” Luna said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Flare Gun, if you’re not ready to marry Pinkie Pie, then you don’t have to. If you wish that you need to break up with her, then you must.” Luna said.

“But Luna, I don’t want to hurt her! I don’t want anypony to hate me!” I said.

“Nopony will think you any different than now, Flare Gun.” Luna said as she laid her hoof on my shoulder. “If you wish that you need to end this relationship with Pinkie Pie, then the only pony that’s in your way…. is you.”

“Me?” I asked.

“Yes, you.” Luna nodded.

“But…. I want Pinkie and I to still be friends.” I said.

“Flare Gun? Pinkie Pie is friends with everypony. She would never want to lose a friend. As long as she knows that you actually care about her, then she’ll always love you.” Luna said.

“You sure?” I asked.

“I’m sure.” Luna nodded. “You must do what you think is right. Don’t force this upon yourself, Flare Gun. Don’t make the wrong decision, or it’ll haunt you forever.”

“Wow, you’re starting sound like Nightmare Moon again.” I said.

“I am? Oh…. sorry.” Luna said.

“Thank you for your help, Luna. I’ll… I’ll do my best!” I said as I smiled at her.

“Good luck!” Luna said, smiling back. The dream started fading away and I finally woke up that morning.

I rubbed my eyes and said, “I know what I must do! I must go to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast!” So I got out of bed, got dressed, and went over to Dunkin Donuts to get a egg croissant sandwich, and I ate it all up, but as I ate it, it hit me! “Now I know what to do with Pinkie!” I ran over to Sugarcube Corner, but just before I got to the door, Pinkie already stepped out.

“Oh… hey Flarey!” Pinkie said.

“Aww, Pinks, I wanted to do the Sheldon Cooper on your door like I did in my dream!” I complained.

“Oh, you want me to go back in?” Pinkie asked.

“Nah, you just letting me to do it will ruin the moment.” I said.

Pinkie and I both took a deep breath, and we said at the same time; “Pinkie / Flare, I need to talk to…”

“Oh, you first.” I said.

“No, it’s ok, Flarey. You first!” Pinkie said.

“No, I insist.” I said.

“No, I insist.” Pinkie said.

“No, I in… OH just talk already!” I demanded, trying to end the argument.

“Fine, picky!” Pinkie said as she cleared her throat. “Flare, I’ve been thinking, and…. you have the right to not be ready to marry me.”

“I know, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” I said.

“But the thing is…. I can’t violate my family code.” Pinkie said. “So, I’m sorry Flarey.” Tears started to shed in her eyes. “I think it’s for the best, if…. we just…. stay friends.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Aren’t we friends now?”

“Flare, don’t make this difficult for me!” Pinkie begged.

“I know exactly what you’re saying, sista.” I said as I held her hoof. “I completely agree. Your family code has gone out of hoof.”

“I guess I wasn’t really ready for a relationship after all.” Pinkie said.

“Neither was I, Pinks. Neither was I.” I said. “When I saw that a lot of my friends have special someponies, I got jealous, but I guess… I wasn’t ready. This is my fault. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“We’ll always be friends though! Please remember that!” Pinkie begged.

“Affirmative.” I agreed.

“PLEASE FLAREY!” Pinkie begged.

“I said affirmative, that means yes.” I said.

“PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CUPCAKE WITH WHIP CREAM, HOT SAUCE, AND A CHERRY ON TOP?!” Pinkie kept begging.

“Yes, yes, I will always be friends with- hot sauce on cupcake?” I asked.

“Don’t knock it till you tried it.” Pinkie said.

“Trust me, I believe that might be good. I remember when Burger King had those Bacon Sundaes, those were good.” I said.

”They were good, weren’t they?” Pinkie asked with a big smile.

“Oh you tried them?” I asked.

“Yeah! So…. I guess that’s that then.” Pinkie said.

“That is that.” I nodded.

“Flare, the last four months with you was the BEST I ever had! Better than any party I thrown. You are truly fun, and I am very thankful for that.” Pinkie said.

“My relationship with you DEFINITALY beats my relationship with Blueberry Pie, I’ll give you that. You’re a waaaaaaaaay better lover than her.” I said.

“Here, I want you to take something.” Pinkie said.

“Is it a hot sauce cupcake?” I asked.

Pinkie giggled. “No silly!” Pinkie reached into her pocket, and took out a little box. She unfolded the box, and opened it, and there was an accordion inside.

“Is that… is that what I think it is?!” I cried.

“It’s my old accordion! It’s red, but I wanted a blue one, so I got a blue one already, and I was giving this red one away. Since your favorite color is red, and you mean a lot to me, I want you to have it!” Pinkie said as I took out the accordion.

“Pinkie… I… I… wow… I’ve been dreaming of using this accordion since the first time I laid eyes on it. I got so heartbroken after Fonz Punkskull destroyed my other one.” I said. “I couldn’t play any polka music like I wanted to.”

“It’s not just the accordion though, Flarey. This box is full of instruments, perfect for a band! You may need it.” Pinkie said.

“Like…. a whole polka band?” I asked.

“Exactly!” Pinkie said.

“But who would be a part of this band? Do my friends know how to play a tuba, a clarinet, a banjo, some drums, or know how to use these… slide-whistles and dentist drills correctly?” I asked.

“The power of polka is in you, Flare! The power of polka is in you and all that would touch these instruments.” Pinkie said. “They just have to feel it, and they could play it.”

I just stood there, looking at the polka kit, and I smiled. “Smiley face.” I said. “I trust you completely, Pinkie! You’re a great friend, and nopony can ever take your place!”

“Thank you, Flare! You’re a great friend too!” Pinkie said.

“This is great! The power of polka is in me once again it seems!” I said excitedly. “The power… of polka… COMPELS YOU!”

“It sure is, Flare! It sure is!” Pinkie nodded.

“Hey Pinks? If it’s no trouble…. may we have…. one last kiss… before I-“ I asked, but before I could finish, Pinkie grabbed my vest, pulled me towards her and started kissing me. I really don’t like being grabbed in the vest, but this time, I’ll make an acceptation.

As I was having my last kiss with Pinkie, Crèmepop was standing there across the street, and saw the whole thing. “OH NO!” she cried. “This explains why Flare never asked me out, or…. was attracted to me. He…. was attracted…. to Pinkie Pie! All this time! Flare loves her, and…. not me. I… don’t believe this.” Crème started tearing up. “I… I… thought we had something special. If only I knew sooner. WAIT!” Crème stopped tearing up, and she got real angry, and she whispered, “Spike!” So she ran off to Twilight’s house in a hurry.

Meanwhile, somewhere at the outskirts of Ponyville, Swinebutt’s goons all met up to report to Swinebutt their failure. Swinebutt appears on the screen on a small communications device they were carrying. “Hello, my friends! Did you all retreve the samples from the Noble Six?” he asked as he pinky was near his mouth again.

“We’re sorry, sir, but our mission failed. None of us were able to get anything, over bad luck.” Nickels said.

“I don’t believe this! I thought Aqua was harmless!” Fonz said with an ice pack on his eye.

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU FIVE!” Swinebutt yelled in anger and snorted. “I ASKED YOU ALL TO DO ONE SIMPLE THING, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN GET ANY TYPE OF SALAVIA, HAIR, OR BLOOD SAMPLE FROM THE NOBLE SIX! You’re all useless!”

“Now hang on, doc! I was able to get a patch of hair from Psyche!” Ray said, with the hair in the bag.

“Well…. I suppose our mission wasn’t a complete failure after all.” Swinebutt said

Steelhoof scanned the hair with his cybernetic eye and said, “That’s a cat hair, Way.”

“A what?” Ray asked.

“Cat hair…. how unfortunate.” Blue Spy said.

“Does Psyche even own a cat?” Nickels asked. A cutaway shows Psyche sitting down in the Ponyville Park, and a pigeon flies over and sits on his head. Just then, a black stray cat appeared, and jumped on Psyche’s head to attack the bird, which caused many scratches to appear on Psyche’s face, and Psyche started yelling and demanding the cat to get off of him. I guess that explains how Psyche got the cat hair. The cutaway ends.

“Well, it seems you all can’t handle a simple task.” Swinebutt said.

“We’re sorry, Doc! Is there anything else we can do?” Ray asked.

“Well, since you couldn’t handle Plan A, perhaps it’ll be a different story when we start Plan B.” Swinebutt said and snorted.

“What can we do, boss? We promise we’ll be successful this time!” Fonz swore as he cracked his hooves.

“Since we can’t just hunt down for the samples, we’ll have to bring the samples to us! Lure them down to me, and then we’ll be able to collect them!” Swinebutt said.

“So how are we going to wure them down to you?” Steelhoof asked.

“Flare has a special friend. If she were to be kidnapped, Flare would not stop at anything to come and rescue her, and no doubt he’ll bring his friends for assistance.” Swinebutt said.

“Sounds genius, boss!” Nickels said.

“But who is this pony you speak of?” Ray asked.

“Her.” Swinebutt said, showing them a picture of Crèmepop on the screen. “Her name is Crèmepop. Capture her, and bring her back to the HQ in Mareami. DON’T MESS THIS UP!”

“We promise, sir!” Fonz said.

“Excellent! Knock ‘em dead!” Swinebutt said as the video feed ended.

“Knock ‘em dead? I thought we were just capturing, not killing?” Nickels asked.

“It’s a figure of speech. Now come, we have a job to do.” Blue Spy said.

Over at Twilight’s house, Crèmepop knocked on the door, and Twilight answered it. “Hi, Crèmepop! What brings you here?” she asked.

“Move it, Twilight! Where is that little squirt?” Crème asked angrily as she pushed Twilight aside.

“Well, somepony’s pushy!” Twilight complained.

“Where is he?!” Crème asked.

“Who’s here, Twilight?” Spike asked, walking down the stairs. “Oh, hey Crèmepop!”

“YOU!” Crème said angrily, as she charged at him.

“Uh oh.” Spike said, as he was about to run away, but Crème tackled him, and held him against the wall.

“CRÈMEPOP!” Twilight cried.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU! WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME ALL THIS TIME?!” Crème yelled at Spike.

“Crème! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Spike said frightened.

“You knew this whole time! You were keeping Flare and me apart because this whole time, he was in a relationship with Pinkie!” Crème yelled at Spike.

“CRÈME?! What is this about?!” Twilight yelled.

“Spike here was keeping me away from Flare so I wouldn’t know he’s in a relationship with Pinkie!” Crème said.

“I only did what I thought was best!” Spike yelled. “I didn’t want you to have a broken heart because you told me your heart would be broken if Flare were to be in a relationship with anypony else! I had to lie! I was only trying to keep you happy!” Crème’s anger slowed down, and then she lets go of Spike, but when she releases him, Spike was held up high and he dropped down and hurt himself.

“OW!” Spike yelled.

“Spike, is that true?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, Twilight. I had to do it. I didn’t want Crème’s feelings to be hurt, and I couldn’t tell Flare, because Crème promised me I shouldn’t tell Flare that she’s in love with him.” Spike explained.

“Crèmepop, is that true?” Twilight asked. Crème didn’t say anything. “Crèmepop? Are you ok?”

“I-I’m fine.” Crème said.

“I apologize, Crèmepop.” Spike said.

“N-no, it’s not your fault, Spike. You were only doing what you thought was right, and I am grateful.” Crème said.

”Oh…. Ok.” Spike said.

“If this is what Flare wants… then this is what he’ll get. I…. I don’t want to s-stand in his way.” Crème said with tears in her eyes.

“Crèmepop…. I am so sorry you feel this way.” Twilight said.

“It’s alright, Twilight. It’s not your fault. Maybe coming here to Ponyville wishing Flare to be mine was a big mistake.” Crème said sadly, walking towards the door.

“Crème? Where are you going?” Twilight asked.

“Doing what I should’ve done long ago.” Crème said, exiting Twilight’s house, and shutting the door.

“Crèmepop, wait!” Twilight yelled.

“Let her go, Twilight.” Spike said, holding his arm in front of her. “We can’t change what’s done. I’ll let Flare know about this as soon as possible. Only he can fix this.”

“I hope so, Spike. If only I knew what was going on sooner, maybe I would’ve tried to find someway to fix this.” Twilight said upsettingly.

“Well, Twilight. What’s done is done.” Spike said.

“What’s done is done.” Twilight nodded. “I just hope she’ll be ok.”

Outside, Crèmepop was crying and walking back home. “I can’t believe this. I really wanted Flare to be with me. I…. I guess I wasn’t gonna enough. I…. I just have to accept that. Perhaps I should return to living in exile in Everfree Forest.” Crème made it home and she went inside. She tried to turn on her lights, but they didn’t work. “Oh, we’re doing this now, huh? It’s like every movie! ALRIGHT, WHO’S IN HERE?!” Crème yelled.

“Hello, Crèmepop!” Fonz said, walking mischievously towards her.

“W-who are you?” Crème asked, frightened.

“We’re going to take you for a little trip!” Blue Spy said as he shut the door behind Crème.

“That doesn’t answer my question. Who are you?” Crème asked again.

“Old friends of your friend Crimson Flare Gun!” Nickels said, walking towards her.

“STAND BACK!” Crème yelled, holding her coat rack to defend herself.

“Oh, no need to be hasty! We’re not going to hurt you!” Ray said.

“Yeah, you ware just bait. Fware and his Woble Six is who we need.” Steelhoof said.

“HELP!” Crème yelled as Spy places a sack over her. Crème started to struggle to escape.

“I hope you put in air holes this time, Spy. Not like the last pony we captured.” Ray said.

“Relax, Ray! She’ll be fine.” Spy said.

“Let’s just take this mare back to Swinebutt. The sooner the better.” Nickels said. Just then, Crème was kicking around the sack.

“Uhhh, who’s going to carry wer?” Steelhoof asked.

“Not me.” Fonz said.

“Not me!” Ray said.

“I can’t carry her. I don’t work out.” Spy said.

“Alright, wet’s draw some stwaws.” Steelhoof suggested. Just then, Ray took out his notepad and drew a straw real fast.

“I got the best straw, I win!” Ray said, showing everypony the straw he drew.

“No, we all pick a stwaw from this box, and the one with the shorwest stwaw, will be the one to carry wer.” Steelhoof explained. So Swinebutt’s goons all pick a straw from the box.

“HA! My straw is bigger than yours, Spy!” Nickels laughed.

“As if! It looks like all of our straws are bigger than Ray’s!” Spy said.

“Oh no! I can’t carry her!” Ray whined. “Wait! Fonz’s straw looks smaller than mine!”

“Yeah, it looks like Fonz’s straw is the smallest.” Spy said.

“Aw c’mon! You serious?!” Fonz complained.

“Sowwy, Fonz!” Steelhoof said, placing the sack with Crèmepop in it on Fonz’s back and ties the sack on. Crème continued yelling and kicking around and even kicked Fonz in the back of the head a few times.

“OW! Stop kicking me!” Fonz ordered her.

“NO! LET ME OUT!” Crème yelled.

Fonz sighed. “This is gonna be a long trip.

“FLARE! HEEEEELLLLLPP!” Crème yelled at the top of her lungs.

Over at the cider bar, I was drinking some ciders by myself to ease the pain of this whole break up, but then I felt something was calling my name. I’m sure it was nothing though, I must’ve just drank too much cider, and it’s just a part of my imagination. Am I wrong though?

TO BE CONTINUED….

Author's Notes:

This is Part 1 of 3 of the Book 2 finale. Originally, there was going to be a chapter of Pinkie's parents inviting the couple of to their house for dinner, but it was going to be a whole chapter about it, but since I couldn't think of a good enough story for it, I just made it a scene in this chapter. Pinkie and Flare couldn't be together forever, and I didn't know how to get them to break up at first without making it too much OOC, but seeing the Pie family having a family code, it seemed good enough, at least for me. Maud Pie being added at the dinner was a new addition in this chapter since this chapter was made before season 4.

I needed to make a bigger story that leads to the finale as well so I had Swinebutt and his goons have a major part in here, but not too major yet. This is just the beginning. Originally, this wasn't going to be a 3-part finale, but I needed to find a more suspecting way of Cremepop being kidnapped by Swinebutt's goons, so she goes missing after she finds out Pinkie and Flare were in a relationship.

I gotta say, I REALLY enjoyed making this finale! This finale was more fun than the Book 1 finale and I had alot of fun on that too! Parts 2 and 3 are really going to be big chapter! Expect to see some familiar faces in the last two! :D

UPDATE: This chapter has been updated so now the Pie family are now more in-character after seeing the Hearthbreak episode, and now instead of Marble hating Flare, it's Limestone now since it fits her character more.

Keep Your Friends Close - Part 2

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It’s been two days since I broke up with Pinkie. It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The birds were singing, bla bla bla, let’s not go into detail. Twilight was really happy that morning, that she opened her window and sang, “Morning in Ponyville shimmers!” She shut her door, and continued singing, but we’re not following Twilight in this chapter. I’m just saying Twilight was singing that song, because…. Don’t you remember when she sang that song?

Well, we actually start off over at Blaze and Rainbow Dash’s house. They were still asleep peacefully. Blaze yawns, rubs his eyes and wakes up. “Good morning, babe! Lovely night it has been, huh?”

“It sure was, darling!” Rarity said, lying down on his bed next to him.

“AAAAH!” Blaze screamed and jumped out of bed.

“What seems to be the problem, dear?” Rarity asked.

“RARITY?! What are you doing in my bed?!” Blaze yelled.

“Uhh, Blaze, we’ve been married for a very long time! You don’t remember?” Rarity asked.

“Rarity!? We’re not married!” Blaze corrected her, feeling very confused.

Rarity giggled. “Blaze, you’re such a gem! You look cute when you’re freaked out.” she said as she got out of bed, but her cutie mark seems different.

“Rarity? What are you doing with Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark?” Blaze asked.

“I’ve had this cutie mark for years, dear! What is with you this morning?” Rarity asked. “Well, it doesn’t matter. I have weather duties to do, you see.”

“Uhh.... no this isn’t right. That’s Rainbow’s cutie mark, and you’re supposed to be at your shop making dresses. Rainbow is supposed to be handling the weather, and she’s MARRIED TO ME!” Blaze explained.

“Blaze, you seriously have gone crazy this morning, dear. You should go fly around the neighborhood, or something. Ta ta!” Rarity said as she was about to exit the house.

“What is going on here, Apollo? Why was Rarity in my bed? Where’s Rainbow Dash?” Blaze asked his phoenix.

“I don’t know, master. I was up all night, and didn’t see a thing.” Apollo said.

“That is so strange. How can Rainbow and Rarity switch places without you knowing? You see everything going on around the house.” Blaze asked.

“I say you should head over to Rarity’s shop. Maybe Rainbow Dash is there.” Apollo suggested.

“Good idea, Apollo!” Blaze said.

“Thank you, master!” Apollo said.

“Will you stop calling me that?” Blaze asked.

“It shows respect.” Apollo said.

”Yeah, you already show me enough respect without calling me master.” Blaze said.

“Uhh, Blaze dear? Will you help me off the cloud, please?” Rarity asked, standing on the edge of the door because the house was on a cloud. Blaze carried his ‘wife’ out of the cloud, and went over to Rarity’s place to see if his actual wife Rainbow Dash was there. Blaze flew over there, and he walks inside.

This is the FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC: Book 2 Finale – Part 2! Let’s do this!

“Hello? Rainbow Dash? Are you here, babe?” Blaze asked.

“Hi, Blaze!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Hey, Sweetie Belle! Is Rainbow Dash here?” Blaze asked.

“I don’t know why she would, but…. AppleJack is here.” Sweetie said confusingly.

“AppleJack?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah, Aqua is here too.” Sweetie said.

“Hey, Blaze.” Aqua said.

“Hey, Aqua! What are you doing here?” Blaze asked.

“I have this small crack on my armor here. I thought Rarity might fix it up for me.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, well. I just had a confusing morning, dude.” Blaze said.

“No kiddin’. Same here.” Aqua said.

“What happened to you?” Blaze asked.

“I came to see if Rarity could fix my armor, but I was told AppleJack was here. Said this is AppleJack’s shop, and Sweetie Belle is her sister.” Aqua said.

“Ok, I know I wanted AppleJack to be my sister during the social, but c’mon! Rarity and I bonded so much since then! Now AppleJack’s is crawling back to me!” Sweets said.

“It’s not just that. AppleJack has Rarity’s cutie mark.” Aqua said.

“That’s strange, because Rarity was sleeping on my bed today, saying she’s my wife, she has to do weather duties, and she has Rainbow’s cutie mark.” Blaze said.

“Just as I thought life in Ponyville couldn’t get any weirder.” Aqua said.

“Howdy, Blaze! What brings y’all here?” AppleJack asked.

“Hey, AppleJack! I-I’m just passing through.” Blaze said.

“Alrighty then! Want me to fix that armor for you, Aqua?” AppleJack asked.

“If ya think ya can.” Aqua said.

“Sure! Y’all just check out mah other dresses ah made! Ah need yer opinion on them, sugarcube.” AppleJack said as her and Aqua started walking upstairs.

“Uhh… ok.” Aqua said. Blaze still couldn’t figure out what was going on. He went over to Sweet Apple Arces to see if his wife was there, but all he saw was a mane-deflated Pinkie Pie.

“Pinkie, what are you doing here, and why do you have AppleJack’s cutie mark?” Blaze asked.

“What are you talking about, Blaze?” Pinkie asked as she was shaking one of the apple trees.

“This doesn’t look right though. This is AppleJack’s farm, not yours.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, well… I was born and raised here, and I never see AppleJack get the guts to help me! Always bothering with those stupid dresses!” Pinkie complained.

“Look if you don’t know what you’re doing, why can’t you let your family help you?” Blaze asked.

“Because she keeps sayin’ she wants to do it herself. Sayin’ she don’t need no help.” Apple Bloom said.

“Eeeyup.” Big Mac said.

“What happened? Ah thought AppleJack was mah sister, not Pinkie!” Apple Bloom whined. “Ah mean, the only one that thinks Pinkie is actually in the family is Granny Smith!”

“Woo hoo! Go buck dem apples, granddaughter! Yer number 1! Yer number 1!” Granny Smith cheered for Pinkie, while wearing a foam finger and a hat while rocking in her chair.

“Thank you, Granny!” Pinkie waved at her as she continued attempting to buck apples. Blaze was still confused. He ran over to Fluttershy’s cottage to see if she was there. He walked over to her house, but before he arrived, Twilight and Spike were already walking out.

“Oh hey, Blaze!” Twilight said.

“Twilight, what do you do for a living?” Blaze asked.

”Uhh, I’m a student for Princess Celestia, and I own a library in Ponyville, studying the magic of friendship.” Twilight said.

“Ok, so you’re fine.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, so you figured it out too, huh?” Twilight asked.

“Of course he does! He’s married to Rainbow Dash!” Spike reminded her.

“Not anymore it seems. I’m married to Rarity now.” Blaze said.

“What?! You left Rainbow Dash for Rarity?!” Spike panicked.

“No, Spike, he means the cutie mark isn’t just changing their destinies, it’s changing their history!” Twilight corrected him.

“So, it’s like Rarity and Sweetie Belle, they’re not brother and sister, right?” Spike asked.

“Exactly!” Twlight said.

“Yeah, I saw it. I was at Rarity’s shop today and AppleJack was there.” Blaze said.

“We better go find out what’s going on with everypony, Spike! Let’s go!” Twilight said.

“Just a heads-up, Blaze. Rainbow Dash isn’t the pony you’ve known anymore.” Spike said as he and Twilight walked away.

“Thanks for the tip, dude.” Blaze said. He then walked over to Fluttershy’s house, and went inside, and saw the animals running wild in there, and Rainbow Dash has been struggling. “RAINBOW!” Blaze ran over to her and gave her a hug. “What happened, babe?”

“Babe? Who you calling, babe?” Rainbow asked in a confusing tone.

“Rainbow Dash, it’s me! Blaze Goldheart! Your husband!” Blaze said trying to get her to remember.

“Blaze, I don’t know what’s your problem, but I really don’t have time to care right now.” Rainbow said, trying calm down the raccoons by patting them up the back.

“Rainbow Dash, this isn’t your destiny! You’ve dreamed of being the Wonderbolts, you handle the weather in town, you’re married to me, and you have a beautiful daughter named Rose at our house right now!” Blaze explained.

“Rose? She’s your and Rartiy’s daughter, Blaze!” Rainbow said as she pushed an ant eater away from her hoof after it was sniffing it.

“Rainbow, what is going on with you?!” Blaze yelled.

“Look, Blaze, I don’t have time with you right now, so if you please, leave!” Rainbow ordered him as Hairy the Bear started wrestling with her.

“You need me to help you out though?” Blaze asked.

“Thank you, but I got it under control here.” Rainbow said, as she body slams the bear.

“Oh…. Ok.” Blaze said upsettingly as he walked out. When he walked out, the whole house started shaking. He really wanted to help, but he couldn’t. He was feeling too upset because Rainbow doesn’t remember anything. She thinks she’s Fluttershy. Blaze just went over and sat on a bench near Sugarcube Corner. He sighed and said, “What is the big idea? How could this happen?”

Just then, the doors to Sugarcube Corner slammed open, and the ponies inside started angrily marching out, complaining about the terrible humor that Fluttershy was giving in there. “Wait! Don’t leave! I got a funny joke!” Flutters begged. “Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven nine eight! Get it?”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Roseluck complained.

“Yeah, you suck!” Vinyl Scratch taunted. Fluttershy sighed upsettingly and walked back inside, and Psyche and Crystal walked out.

“That was terrible! I couldn’t find anymore dead humor than I experienced here!” Crystal complained.

“Now, now, Crystal. I’m sure we can figure out what’s going on here.” Psyche said.

“But didn’t you see how awful that was? I thought Fluttershy was supposed to bring smiles on our faces?” Crystal complained.

“No, Pinkie is supposed to do that. Somehow, Fluttershy ended up with her cutie mark, and Pinkie is nowhere to be found.” Psyche corrected her.

“You’re not making any sense, Psyche! You can’t just switch cutie marks! That’s physically impossible!” Crystal said.

“Maybe she’s at Fluttershy’s house. We should go check there.” Psyche suggested.

“Good luck with that. I checked Fluttershy’s house and Rainbow Dash is there with Fluttershy’s cutie mark.” Blaze said.

“For Luna’s sake! Nopony is making any sense today!” Crystal yelled. “You can’t switch cutie marks! How can you?”

“Do you know what’s going on, Blaze?” Psyche asked.

”You know as much as I do, Psyche, but all I know is that Rarity has Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark, Rainbow Dash has Fluttershy’s, Fluttershy has Pinkie’s, Pinkie’s has AppleJack’s, and AppleJack has Rarity’s.” Blaze explained.

”Then who’s does Twilight have?” Crystal asked.

“Twilight’s.” Blaze said.

“And who has yours?” Crystal asked.

“Me.” Blaze said.

“And who has Psyche’s?” Crystal asked.

“Mine is still mine last I checked.” Psyche said.

“What about me? Oh no, I hope I didn’t switch cutie marks with Engie! Last time I tried to build something, it backfired on me!” Crystal freaked out.

A cutaway shows Crystal building a catapult. She hops on top of it and holds the string. ‘Beep beep’ said the roadrunner, as it ran past Crystal’s catapult. Crystal pulls the string and the catapult just falls apart, and a giant rock falls on her. The rock rolls out of the way, and Crystal was flat like a pancake, and then her body goes up and down like an accordion. Yay! Accordion! The cutaway ends.

“Relax, Crystal. Your cutie mark is still yours.” Psyche said.

“Hey! Y’all got a problem with havin’ mah cutieh mark?” Engie complained to Crystal.

“I didn’t say that. I just didn’t want to chase that roadrunner anymore because a stupid coyote stole my job! Stupid cow!” Crystal complained.

“Well, good news is, I got my armor fixed.” Aqua said as he joined the group. “Bad news is, AppleJack made it worse, and when she resprayed it, they colored it the wrong blue.”

“But yer armor looks the same, partner.” Engie corrected him.

”Yeah, but this blue is slightly lighter than the blue this armor actually has.” Aqua said.

“Yer startin’ to sound like Flare. Picky of his own color!” Engie complained.

“Hey, speaking of Flare, where is he?” Psyche asked.

“Trust me, Psyche, I had just about ENOUGH of Flare yesterday!” Blaze said.

“What did Flare do yesterday?” Psyche asked.

“It was the day after he broke up with Pinkie. He was just sitting down at random places yesterday with a boombox singing Time After Time.” Blaze said. It was true, that was me yesterday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzX8yCjAuu0

A cutaway shows me sitting on my couch, carrying a boombox, and I started singing Time After Time with a sad tone: “Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you-” The scene then changes with me sitting down on one of the booths in my shop. “Caught up in circles confusion is nothing new.” Scene then changes with me sitting on the bar at the cider pub while Blaze plays pool in the background. “Flashback – warm nights – almost left behind…” Scene changes with me outside, sitting on a bench with Blaze standing behind me. “The second hand unwinds – If you’re lost you can look and you will find me.” Back at the shop booth scene. “Time after time… if you fall I will get you…” Scene shows me out in the Ponyville Lake while it’s raining. “I WILL BE WAITING – Time after time.” Back at the bench scene. “Time after time.” In Blaze and Rainbow Dash’s house, while I’m sitting on their bed at night, while they’re being annoyed by my singing, and they’re trying to sleep. “Time after time…. Time after ti-“ Rainbow kicks me off the bed, and I start whispering, “Time after time.” The cutaway ends.

“I couldn’t take much more of Flare after that, you know?” Blaze said.

“Blaze, Flare lost somepony near and dear to him, can’t ya just accept that?” Aqua asked.

“I accept it, Aqua! I do! It’s just, if he knew this was going to happen, why does he have to be all upset about it? Can’t he just move on with life?” Blaze asked.

“Hey, I understand him. I’d feel the same if I lost Thundy.” Crystal said.

“Hello? Crèmey? You in here?” I said while looking inside a mail box.

“Oh look, there’s Flare now!” Engie pointed.

“Crèmey? Crèmey?” I asked, looking side a plant plot and then behind a light post.

“Looks like he’s lookin’ for something.” Aqua said.

“Ey, Flare! What’s going on, partner?” Engie asked.

“Sorry, can’t talk now, Engie. I’m looking for Crèmey.” I said while looking inside a water bottle.

“Errr, ah don’t think she’ll be able to fit in there, partner.” Engie said.

“Hey, anything’s possible! It happened to me when I was getting chased by a couple of loan sharks.” I said.

A cutaway shows me getting chased by a couple of loan sharks. “GET OVER HERE, CRIMSON! YOU OWE US MONEY!” a the loan sharks yelled. It doesn’t help because I was right near the ocean. I mean, lots of loan sharks hang around there. The loan sharks that were chasing me were actually sharks. I stopped once I found a table with some table cloth, and a water bottle on top of it. Once the sharks got to wear the table is and said, “Hey! Where did he go?”

“Hmm, I wonder where Crimson is…. Is he…. DOWN HERE?!” the shark said once he looked under the table cloth, but I wasn’t there. “Hey! I just saw him right here! I thought he would’ve gone under the table?”

“He ain’t here. Maybe he hid in the ocean.” The first shark said, as the loan sharks started running towards the ocean. A pony walked by and opened up the water bottle on top of the table, and when he was expecting water to pour in his mouth, nothing came out. The pony started shaking the bottle, but then I just fell out from inside the bottle, and landed on him. Yeah, I was inside the bottle! Pretty cool, huh? The cutaway ends.

“So what happened to Crème? Why are you looking for her?” Blaze asked.

“I went to my shop this morning, and usually she sits there waiting for me, but when I got there, she wasn’t there.” I said.

“Maybe she just had gone late.” Engie assumed.

“I waited two hours for her, but it’s not like her to not come to work without calling me first.” I said.

“Maybe she’s got plans and her phone lines are down.” Engie guessed.

“I-D-K, brahs. I’ve looked all over for her, but I can’t find her anywhere! I’m starting to worry.” I said.

“Maybe she’s at your shop now.” Aqua assumed.

“Nah, I would’ve gotten a call from Lyra or Bonnie saying she’s there.” I said.

“Did ya check her house?” Aqua asked.

“Of course not! That’s the last place I would look!” I said.

“And why is that?” Aqua asked.

“Flare, it’s her house, you should’ve looked there first!” Blaze said.

“Why? She hates living in that dump! She only got that house so she’d live closer to my shop! She said she’d rather live inside my shop, but with that security system in there, the alarm will go off.” I said.

“Hey, to be honest, I’d be even happy living in your restrooms, they’re so darn clean!” Crystal said.

“Thanks, sista! I really want my bathrooms to be as clean as a hotel room.” I said.

“Last time I was in a motel room.” Crystal said.

“I said HOTEL, not MOTEL.” I corrected her.

“Nah, it can’t be HOTEL unless there are pimps there. I know it’s a MOTEL because it had yellow bartenders.” Crystal said.

“Look, I think it wouldn’t hurt if you went to check her house, Flare.” Blaze suggested.

“Alright, you guys go ahead and check.” I said.

“Uhh, why us? Why not you?” Psyche asked.

“I’ve been looking for her all morning, now it’s your turn!” I said.

“Nuh uh, you’re coming with us, Flare.” Psyche ordered me.

“Make me!” I argued with him.

“Your parents already made you, dude.” Crystal said.

“Look, Flare, if Crème isn’t anywhere else, it wouldn’t hurt checkin’ over at her place.” Aqua advised me

“And I keep telling you; SHE’S NOT THERE!” I said with an attitude.

“How do you know? You didn’t even check!” Psyche reminded me.

“I just know because that would be the last place she’d be in at the day time in lovely morning like this.” I said.

“You call this a lovely mornin’? It’s rainin’, hailin’, snowin’, and it’s hot at the same time!” Engie said, looking up at the checkerboard sky with the different weather patterns.

“Wow, the sky looks like the skybox in Minecraft.” Aqua said, looking up. Just then, a cardboard box fell from the sky and landed on Aqua.

“HA! A skybox! I get it!” Crystal said and laughed.

“How is it rainin’ boxes? That’s physically impossible.” Aqua said.

“C’mon, let’s just head over to Crèmepop’s house and see if she’s over there.” Blaze said. So the six of us went over to Crème’s house to see if she was over there. I wanted to do the Sheldon Cooper knock on her door, but once I done the first knock, the door slid open with a creaky sound.

“She was robbed.” I said.

“Now how would you know that?” Psyche asked.

“Her door was unlocked.” I said and then I played with the light switch, and the lights weren’t coming on. “Yep, she was robbed.”

“What you can tell by the lights?” Psyche asked. “It could be a power failure.”

“I’m pretty sure she was robbed, this place is a mess.” Aqua said.

“Oh no, the house was always like that.” I said.

“Hey what’s this?” Engie asked, looking at some sort of monitor with a radio on it.

“Looks like a communications station of some sort.” Blaze said.

“A communications station? Crèmepop doesn’t have a communications station.” I said.

“Then what do you think this?” Engie asked me sarcastically, pointing to the station.

“Looks like a radio, a microphone, and a TV with a bunch of little receivers and wires. Crème has all those.” I said.

“Yeah, but look how they’re set up.” Engie said.

“Crème likes to decorate her own way.” I said. Engie started messing with the dials and knobs on the radio.

“What are you doing, Engie?” Crystal asked.

“Tryin’ to broadcast a signal, maybe we can get something.” Engie said. “Hello? Hello? Anypony there?”

“Try turning on the TV.” Aqua suggested.

“Ah, good idea.” Engie said, turning on the TV.

“Hello there, it’s the Ray Promenade show!” Ray said as he appeared on the TV.

“Ray?” Aqua asked.

”Ah, hello Aquatic Armor! Good to see you again!” Ray said.

“What are you dowing, Way? Pwetend you don’t hear them, so they would think this is a TV show.” Steelhoof said.

“STEELHOOF?!” Blaze yelled.

“Will you guys get away from the screen? This is for Swinebutt is talk through.” Nickels told them.

“OFFICER PENNY NICKELS!?” Psyche yelled.

“Alright, somepony go get him!” Fonz instructed his peers.

“WHOA! I have no idea who that is.” Crystal said.

“That’s Fonz Punkskull!” I yelled.

“Yeah, hey Flare! How’s your sister?” Fonz asked.

“Fine, fine.” I nodded.

“Good.” Fonz said. “I kinda miss her.”

“Yeah, well, you ain’t having her back!” I said.

”Hmm, pitty.” Fonz said.

“Alright, here I am!” Swinebutt said and snorted as he walked to the screen. “Hello, Crimson!”

“What’s up, Swinebutt?” I asked as I started to chuckle after I said that. “That was awesome! What’s up, Swinebutt? How come I never done that before?”

“You don’t seem very dramatic right now.” Swinebutt said.

“What’s there to be dramatic about?” I asked.

“Uh, Flare. Swinebutt is on the monitor, Crèmepop is missin’, ain’t it obvious?” Aqua reminded me.

“I know, but how would you know if Swinebutt kidnapped her? There’s no proof.” I said.

“Actually there is.” Swinebutt said, turning the camera. “BEHOLD! Your kidnapped friend!”

“Consuela? You kidnapped Consuela?” I asked because the camera was aimed towards the Hispanic maid.

“Misser Swinebutt, we have no more Windex in HQ.” Consuela said.

“Sorry, turned the camera the wrong way.” Swinebutt said as he turned the camera again. “BEHOLD! Your kidnapped friend!”

”GASP!” I yelled as I saw Crèmepop was all tied up on a chair, struggling to get out. “CRÈMEY!”

“What are you trying to pull, porkchop?!” Blaze yelled at him.

”WHOA! No need to make offensive comments, Blaze!” Swinebutt said.

“GIMMIE BACK MY CRÈMEY!” I demanded.

“You want your Crèmey so bad? Come and get her!” Swinebutt said mischievously and then he laughed and snorted as he laughs.

“Alright, we will, and we’re gonna kick your flank too! NOPONY MESSES WITH MY FRIENDS!” I yelled.

“We’ll be waiting for you, Crimson!” Swinebutt said.

“Alright, I’m here! They online?” another Swinebutt asked.

“Wait…. two Swinebutts?” Aqua asked.

“Double the fun!” Crystal said.

“Hey, don’t steal Luna’s phrases, Crystal!” I instructed her.

“Seriously, Spy?” the second Swinebutt asked the first one, and the first Swinebutt turned back into Blue Spy.

“Sorry, boss.” Spy said.

“SPAH!” Engie yelled.

“Ok, I apologize for that.” Swinebutt said as he snorted. “Now, Crimson. We have kidnapped your-“

“Spy told me everything already, brah.” I said as I glared at him.

“Oh…. well, then I guess you already know what to do then! Come and get your marefriend if you want her so much!” Swinebutt said and chuckled.

“She’s not my marefriend! She’s just a very close friend of mine!” I corrected him.

“Whatever! We still have her and if you don’t come within the next three days, we’ll be forced to tickle her!” Swinebutt said and laughed evilly.

“TICKLE HER!? No, not tickling! Please don’t tickle her!” I begged.

“Then come and get her, Crimson! We’re waiting for you!” Swinebutt said mischievously. I activated my hornsaber and then I angrily slashed the communications station in half.

“Holy Wizard of Hope, THAT was annoying!” I yelled.

“Flare YOU IDIOT!” Engie yelled, bopping me on the head.

“OW! What?!” I asked.

“How are we supposed to find Crèmepop when we don’t even know where she is?!” Engie yelled.

“Oh….. right.” I said.

“Wow, that was a foolish move, Flare.” Psyche said.

”It didn’t cross my mind, I’m sorry!” I said.

“How are we supposed to know where to find him?” Aqua asked.

“Maybe I’ll go see Twilight; she’ll be able to help me out.” I said.

“Oh there you boys are!” Rarity said as she walked inside. “Hey, I need your help a bit. It seems… that I angered the town and I need some shelter until the heat dies down.”

“What did you do?” Engie asked.

“I don’t know! The townfolk must think the weather is too last season.” Rarity said as her voice began to echo. “Last season… last season… last season…” Just then, Rarity gains a flashback of last season when Discord was spreading chaos throughout the entire town, one of them being strange weather patterns.

“HA HA HA!” Discord laughed. “I have taught Rarity well!” The flashback ends.

I walked over to Twilight’s house, but I didn’t know whether to go home to get my umbrella, my winter scarf, or put on some sunblock because the weather was so weird today! I started knocking on the door to Twilight’s house when I got there. Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?”

But it wasn’t Twilight that answered the door, it was Spike. “Hey, Flare!” he said, looking like he’s in a bad mood.

“Oh, my bad. I knocked for the wrong pony.” I said, and then I knocked on the door again. Knock, knock, knock; “Spike?” Knock, knock, knock; “Spike?” Knock, knock, knock; “Spike?”

“Yes, hi Flare.” Spike said with an annoyed tone.

“What’s your deal?” I asked.

“Oh, Twilight messed up big time, and now she won’t stop singing about it.” Spike complained as we both walked inside to sit down.

“Oh? What did she mess up on?” I asked.

“She messed with the Elements of Harmony and now all her friends got their cutie marks scrambled.” Spike said.

“Oh, right, yeah I saw that happen today. I wanted to go see Pinkie, but Fluttershy was at Sugarcube Corner making jokes.” I said. “I gotta say, jokes aren’t her thing.”

“Hey, Twilight’s the one that messed up, not me.” Spike said. We were quiet for a few seconds, and I heard Twilight singing upstairs, saying something about ‘one mistakes’ and ‘heart aches’, I don’t know why.

“Sounds like Twilight’s singing still.” I said.

“No kidding! This was the third time she sang today, and it’s not even noon!” Spike complained.

“Hey, as long as Twilight has adventure today that makes PERFECT SENSE and she takes as much time to think about solving her problem as possible, and she doesn’t instantly find a way to solve it and expect it to work like that, AND her reward for solving her problem is something that nopony would complain about, then I say, no problem!” I said.

“Well, for her and her friends’ sake, I hope you’re right.” Spike said. Just then, Spike started feeling a little sick, and he burps up a scroll.

“Does that ever hurt you?” I asked.

“Ehhh, not really. It did at first, but I’m used to it now.” Spike said as he picks up the scroll.

“Are you sure? Because when you burp up scrolls, I have the feeling it feels like vomiting.” I said.

Spike opened up the scroll, and read it. “Dear Flare Gun, Please come to Canterlot as soon as possible. I have found a clue for the whereabouts of your friend Crèmepop. Bring your friends with you. Your friend, Princess Luna.”

“Oh, well then. That’s going to be tough to choose.” I said.

“What is she talking about? What happened to Crèmepop?” Spike asked.

“Dr. Swinebutt hired some goons to kidnap her, and I don’t know where she is, and I have to find her in three days otherwise they’ll tickle her!” I said.

”Ooo, that’s bad.” Spike said.

“Now then, all I have to do is make a very tough decision.” I said.

“What’s the tough decision?” Spike asked.

“To figure out which friends I should bring with me to Canterlot.” I said.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“Luna said to bring my friends, but I don’t know which friends to bring. I have the Mane Six, I have the Noble Six, I have you, I have my employees, I have Addie, and I got some other friends that I don’t normally talk about.” I said.

“I… think she meant the Noble Six.” Spike said.

“Alright then, I guess I’m going to Canterlot with the Noble Six.” I said.

“Have a great trip then!” Spike said.

“Thanks, brah! Hey, let me know how things go around here. I hope Twilight solves this cutie mark problem.” I said.

“As long as she doesn’t instantly come up with a solution, and thinks that’ll actually solve it, then there’s nothing to worry about.” Spike said.

“Alrighty then! See ya soon, brah!” I said as I walked out of her house, and back into the random weather outside.

“Maybe I should go check up on Twilight. I hope she’s not giving up on her friends.” Spike said as he starts walking upstairs. “I hope she doesn’t sing another song 20 seconds from now.”

So I told the Noble Six about the news from Luna, so we headed over to Canterlot to see what she has in store for us. We waited in the Elements of Harmony corridor for Luna to appear. I just stood there looking at the glass windows that showed the stories of Equestria’s past. I was currently looking at the Crystal Empire one when Spike and Cadance saved the day.

“Yep. Great stories these are, huh Flare?” Aqua asked.

“They sure are, brah! They sure are!” I nodded.

“I’m glad Equestria is as peaceful as it is now. All because of these stories, it’s been safe ever since.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, I suppose….” I said.

“Is something wrong, mate?” Aqua asked.

“Is your jelly-baby meter down?” Psyche asked.

“It’s just…. we’ve saved Equestria a couple of times.” I said.

“Yeah, so?” Aqua asked.

“So why don’t we get our own window?” I asked.

”What do ya mean?” Aqua asked.

“Our own window that tells the story of how we saved the kingdom.” I said.

“Oh, well…. I don’t know.” Aqua said.

“Do they think we didn’t do much of a job protecting it?” I asked.

“C’mon, Flare. Who needs a stupid window anyway? We helped make the kingdom safe, and that’s all it matters.” Aqua said.

“I know, but…. it would be possum grade awesome if everypony saw us on these windows, and how we protected the kingdom from certain dangers, then we’d be famous! We’d be heroes!” I said excitedly.

“You don’t need a window to be a hero, Flare. The hero comes from within.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, like those alien movies when the aliens POP OUT of the character’s stomachs!” Crystal said.

“Thanks for that mental image, Crystal. I’m glad I ate a light breakfast today.” Psyche said.

“Noble Six?” a random guard that looks identical to half the guards in this palace asked us.

“Who’s talking?” Engie asked.

“The princesses would like to see you in the throne room.” He said. So we all headed to the throne room to see the princesses.

When we got to the throne room, the royal sisters were talking to eachother. “Why does everypony laugh or give me strange looks every time I eat a banana?” Celestia asked her sister.

“Princesses!” I said.

”Why do you always have to represent us, Flare?” Crystal asked.

“Ah, the Noble Six! You’re here! We’ve been expecting you!” Celestia said.

“No kidding! Luna sent me a letter saying you needed me.” I said.

“Technically, she gave the letter to Spike to give to you.” Psyche corrected me.

“Shut up, Psyche. You always have to prove yourself right, you know?” I complained.

“Sorry, it’s who I am.” Psyche said.

“So we overheard that your friend Crèmepop has been captured by Dr. Swinebutt; is that correct?” Celestia asked.

“You have to axe the obvious?” I asked.

“Well, my dear sister here has found a solution that might solve your problems.” Celestia.

“How can it be a solution if it MIGHT solve our problems?” Crystal asked.

“As you can see, the goons that kidnapped Crèmepop have traveled by plane to take her to the location she and Dr. Swinebutt are held.” Luna said as a projection screen came down in front of the thrones. “We found some security footage at the nearby Airport. A private jet transported the following ponies identified as Fonz Punkskull, Professor Henirch Steelhoof, Blue Spy, Penny Nickels, and Ray Promenade. They were seen carrying a brown sack that kept-“

“Hey look! The nose of the plane is on my hoof!” Crystal interrupted as she places her hoof between the projection screen and the projector.

Luna just rolled her eyes and continued talking. “They were seen carrying a brown sack that kept on moving; even made Fonz fall over. They even chased the bag one time and tried to push it inside the plane. Took them 20 minutes to finally get her inside.”

“Wow, Crème is a strong girl.” Aqua said impressively.

“The airport management was able to trace the plane and the plane landed over at Mareami International.” Luna said.

“So Crèmepop must be somewhere in Mareami.” Engie assumed.

“Do you know where?” Psyche asked.

“Sorry, Psyche, but that’s all the data we were able to obtain. Crèmepop and Dr. Swinebutt are indeed somewhere in Mareami; that’s the only fact we have.” Luna said.

“We have to rescue her! She’s a dear friend to me, and I will not let that piece of bacon terrorize her!” I yelled.

“I expect you all to move cautiously when finding her. There’s no doubt that Dr. Swinebutt has laid a trap for you all.” Celestia said.

“Celestia, I know what that pig is all about. I know his tricks; I know what he does to his prisoners! I’ll be able to defeat him, just like all the other attempts he tried to get me!” I said.

“Then we wish you all the best of lucks.” Celestia said.

“We got you seven tickets for the next flight to Mareami, leaving tomorrow.” Luna said.

“Why seven?” Crystal asked.

“Since Flare Gun is going home, I have no doubt his sister Water would want to come to.” Luna said.

“I don’t want Water to be a part of this rescue mission. She means a lot to me, and I wouldn’t want her to fall under Swinebutt’s hooves!” I said.

“I know, but it’ll save her from complaining.” Luna said as she winked at me, giving me the package with the tickets inside.

“Thank you, Luna! Thank you, Celestia! I promise that I will bring Crèmepop home, and then, I’ll bring Swinebutt into custody! I can’t take anymore of his schemes!” I said.

“Well, it looks like we’re going on another roadtrip then.” Crystal said, putting on some sunglasses. “HIT IT!”

Just then, the song Push It To The Limit starts playing in the background as the six of us start walking out of Canterlot and back to Ponyville. We start packing all the things we need, including some pool toys, towels, sunblock, money, but that’s our vacation stuff; we also pack a couple of things that we’ll need for a rescue mission, like I bring my trusty magic charger so I can recharge my magic faster, my walkie-talkies just in case we split up, some tracking devices so it’ll be easier to find eachother and because I think I’ll need it, and I’m bringing that little magical folded box with the polka instruments that Pinkie gave me, just in case. I finally installed my fish feeder, gave Water her ticket, but it was taken a while for her to go because she needed to find out which make-up she wanted to bring. I keep telling her this isn’t just a vacation; it’s also a rescue mission. My friend Crèmepop needs my help, and I must save her! Crystal wanted to do a little song so she made her own parody of Push It To The Limit, by Scarface:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D-QD_HIfjA

“Push it to the limit!” Crystal sang. “Trot along the kingdom edge, but don’t guard down just keep your head, and we’ll win it! Further than the limit! Past the point of self-respect, we’re reaching the top, but we still gotta expect to unexpect iiiiit!”
“Here are to save the day, and get pancakes in the beginning of May and we choose our fate!”

“CHOOSE THE FAAAAAATE!” all my friends sang along, but not I; I was just thinking about Crèmepop. Wow… I really got over Pinkie fast.

“Going for the bed and bath and beyond, and maybe get some tea-cups for my friend Bon Bon, so close now we’re reaching the sale, so PUSH IIIIIT! OH YEAH!” Crystal sang.

As the instrumental was on, we headed over to the airport, went through the stupid annoying security station yet again, and waited to get our plane so we can head back to Mareami. We went inside the plane and got our seats. I was glad there were no annoying babies crying this ti- nope, I spoke too soon, and the in-flight movie was the Scooby Doo movie, which really ruined the plane ride for me. I went through my satchel and got myself a little book.

“What are you reading, bro?” Water asked.

“Nothing important.” I lied.

“Wait, a minute, this is somepony’s diary!” Water said.

I snatched the book away so she wouldn’t see. “Mind your own business, sis!”

“I can see the title in front of the book. This is Crèmepop’s diary. Why are you reading her diary?” Blaze asked.

“Because SHUT UP, that’s why!” I said angrily.

“You know, it’s wrong to read somepony’s diary, Flare.” Psyche said from the seat in front of me.

“Says the pony that READ MY DIARY, PSYCHE!” I reminded him.

“Ok, I guess I sort of deserved that.” Psyche said, sitting back down.

“Alright, but look at this, guys! Crèmepop has gone through a lot in her past just like me! Dear diary, I wanted to join the cheerleading squad, but they didn’t want me to join because I was so fat. A colt got the part over me! I mean seriously? A colt joining the cheerleading squad? Everypony laughed at me, and you know what else? This colt was six years old!” I said as I read the diary.

“Wow.” Water said.

“I know right?” I asked.

“Crèmepop was fat?” Water asked.

“I believe so.” I said as I continued reading. “Dear diary, I was called trash after I said I hated the most popular colt in school, and I was shoved in the garbage, and they kept me in there until I went to the dump! I was lost for days, finding my way home, but I didn’t know where my home was. I was lost in this big city, and I didn’t come home until 4 days later, and my family didn’t even give me a warm welcome. They thought I was at my friend’s house, but they didn’t know I didn’t have any.”

“Wow, her story is similar to yours, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Yeah…. but it sounds worse.” I said.

“So, no wonder she’s your marefriend, Flare!” Crystal said.

“She is not my marefriend, Crystal! I thought I made it clear before?” I reminded her, starting to get annoyed that everypony keeps calling Crème my marefriend. Just then, our plane finally arrived at Mareami. We then walked out of the airport, but before we went far, Engie stopped us.

“Oh no, guys!” Engie gasped.

“What happened?” Water asked.

“Luna forgot to give us a hotel!” Engie said.

“And that’s NOT where the bartenders are.” Crystal said.

“Well, that’s great! Now we have nowhere to stay!” Psyche complained.

“Oh fooy, Psyche! You guys can stay with us!” Water said.

“You want us to stay with you at your old place?” Psyche asked.

“Of course! We’re all friends! Our parents won’t mind you staying with us!” Water said. “That ok with you, Flare?”

“I don’t mind. We’re gonna be having our own little slumber party!” I said excitedly.

“Awesome! Crystal, it’s you and me; I’d want to you see my collection!” Water offered.

“Sounds like fun, Water!” Crystal said excitedly.

“So I’ll take the bags back to our place, Flare, and you guys can start looking for Crèmepop right now.” Water said.

“Ya don’t have to do that, Water.” Engie said.

“Oh it’s my treat! Flare won’t let me interfere anyway, so I’ll just take the bags back to our place, and you guys can start looking now.” Water offered.

“Sounds good!” Blaze said. “I’ll check the skies.”

“Before we split up, I got these-“ I was just about to say, but before I could continue, I see a volkswagon beetle go by. I punch Psyche in the arm and yelled, “BLACK ONE!”

“Ow!” Psyche yelled.

“So before we split up, I got these walkie-talkies that we should use.” I said. “Engie upgraded them before we left, so now they take long-distance. They’re city-range now.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Engie said as he bowed his head. “Ah also made these trackin’ devices for each of us. We put a piece of hair in the device and the device will tell us if we’re gettin closer or not.”

“Where did ya get Crèmepop’s hair from?” Aqua asked.

“From her hair brush, duh!” Engie said.

“So here’s the plan: Blaze will patrol the skies to see anything out of the ordinary. Engie, you take the Downtown area; Aqua, you take the northwest part of the mainland; Psyche, you check the northeast part of the mainland; Crystal, you’ll check city central; Aqua, you’ll take West Beach, and I’ll take East Beach.” I said.

“Wait, I wanted to take the beach!” Crystal complained.

“Trade?” Aqua asked.

“Sure!” Crystal said.

“Alright, I’m takin’ the city central then, and she’s takin’ beach.” Aqua said.

“Alright then. LET’S MOVE OUT!” I yelled.

“You do not have the makings of an army sergeant, bro.” Water said as she shook her head at me. The song isn’t finished yet, time to continue:

“Welcome to the limit!” Crystal sang.

“The limiiiiiit!” the Noble Six (excluding me) sang.

“Finding clues one step at a time! The power ball’s still playing so, we better win iiiit!” Crystal sang.

Throughout the time this song was on, the six of us looked high and low all day, trying to find the whereabouts of Crèmepop, but we did run into some accidents along the way, nothing worth talking about though, except for when Crystal was getting ice cream; she was afraid her hair would fall off just like Thundy’s, so she avoided it. Also Blaze accidentally crashed into a helicopter when he was flying. The helicopter was fine, but Blaze hurt himself as he splattered on there and the helicopter pilots just used the wipers to wipe Blaze off their windshield. Anyways, back to the song. “Bring it on the limit!” Crystal sang.

“The limiiiiit!” the Noble Six sang.

“With not a pony left to stand in our way! We might careless, but we’ll never be safe, if you feel iiiit! Feeling dat Mareami heat!” Crystal sang. “Something something the limit!”

“The limiiiiit!” the Noble Six sang, but Engie sang a little later than everypony else because he was distracted.

“Heading to the top of the cube!” Crystal sang. “Don’t sit there just gimmie some food, and you’d be fiiiiiiiniiiiiished! Welcome to the limit!”

“The limit, the limit, the limit, the limiiiiiiit!” the Noble Six echoed.

“Knocking over the limiiiiit!” Crystal sang.

“The limit, the limit, the limit, the limiiiiiit!” the Noble Six concluded the song.

And yeah, that was the song; you should know what’s after that. I’m glad Crystal was able to lead her own song for the second time. I led a lot of songs, and most Engie songs he sang were by himself, except for that one duet with Apple Fritter. Now we need Psyche, Aqua, and Blaze to sing their own songs. It was nearly sunset and still no sign of Crèmepop. “All units report in.” Aqua said on the walkie-talkie in a tired tone.

“Still nothing.” Crystal said on her walkie-talkie.

“Ditto, which sounds similar to dibs.” Engie said on his.

“We’ve been searching for her all day long. I think it’s about time we stopped.” Blaze suggested.

“NO! We have to find her! Swinebutt’s gonna tickle her the day after tomorrow!” I yelled.

“Hey, just like the movie!” Crystal said excitedly.

“Forget it, Flare. We’re all tired. It’s time we turned in.” Blaze said.

“No, brah! Crèmey’s in trouble, and…. if we wait…. I dunno, this city is really big, it’s hard to track her! Even with these little devices!” I said.

“Are you even sure they work, Engie?” Psyche asked.

“Of course ah’m sure! Ah made a million of them, and they worked! Ah even tested these!” Engie said.

“Flare, it’s no use. Crèmepop can wait until tomorrow, but ya just have to wait. I promise we’ll look again tomorrow.” Aqua said.

“I know what Swinebutt’s like, he may let her starve!” I begged.

“Speaking of starving, I sure am starving!” Crystal said.

“Please, Flare? We’re all tired, and we need our rest. I promise, the first thing tomorrow, we’ll look for her. You just need to be patient. She can wait. We’ll be able to save her, I know we will.” Blaze promised.

I took a deep breath, and sighed. “Sigh. Alright, brahs. We’ll turn it in for the night.” I said.

”THANK YOU!” Crystal said, feeling relieved.

“Hey, Psyche?” I asked.

“What?” Psyche asked. About that time, I was actually next to him and I punched him in the shoulder when I see another volkswagon go by.

“BLUE ONE!” I yelled.

“Ow! Quit it!” Psyche complained. “Let’s just go find a place for dinner!”

“Alright, but I’m choosing dinner!” I said through the walkie-talkie.

“Fair enough. Where would you like to meet up at?” Blaze asked. So we all met up at my favorite Mexicolt resturaunt; Ole Ole! I gotta say, they have the best chips and salsa there, and the most delicious chimi changas I ever tasted! Used to go there a lot when I was younger. If only Spike were with us, he’s been wanting chimi changas for a while now.

“Well snap, I gotta say Flare, those chips and salsa are the best, you are right!” Crystal said.

“Hooves down.” Aqua said.

“Well, I wanted to take you dudes and dudet here last time we were in Mareami, but you all didn’t want Mexicolt food.” I said.

“Well, ah certainly regret not comin’ here before.” Engie said.

“Just wait until our food comes! It is delicious!” I said just as a couple of familiar looking ponies start walking in from the front door.

“Hey, who are those dudes by the door?” Blaze asked. I looked back and took a look, and of course… how could I forget these guys?

“Hey, that’s… that’s the Friendship Mafia!” I said. I waved over to Poni Cipriani, the don, and he saw me, and started walking over.

“Well, well, well! Look who came back to town! How you all doing?” Poni asked, sitting down with us.

“We’re doing great, Poni! Good to see you again!” I said.

“You too, Flare! You too!” Poni said as he shook my hoof. “So what brings you here in Mareami? How can you be in town without letting us know first? Herb’s been wondering.”

“What, you gonna whack me?” I teased.

“Yeah, wanna be a wiseguy about it?” Poni asked glaring at me.

“Whoa, you mad bro?” I asked.

”Nah, just disappointed.” Poni said, patting me on the back. “Should’ve let us know you were back!”

“Sorry brah, but we’re here on a search and rescue mission.” I said.

“Oh? Who you searchin’ for, and rescuin’?” Poni asked.

“There’s this pony by the name of Crèmepop who’s a close friend of ours.” Crystal said.

“Uhh, close friend of MINE!” I corrected her. “You dudes never hang out with her.”

“Regardless of our relationship with her, it’s critical that we find her, and bring her to safety.” Psyche said.

“Well… maybe we can help you boys out.” Poni said.

“And girl.” Crystal added.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I can’t believe I forgot about you guys. Herb promised that the Friendship Mafia would be able to help me in my time of need, and right now, I need the mob’s help more than ever.”

“Of course, my boy! We’ll help rescue your girl!” Poni said.

“Great!” I said excitedly.

“You have a picture of her?” Poni asked.

“Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone, just gimmie a second.” I said, taking out my phone and trying to find her picture. “Wait I got a text message from Spike, he said Twilight solved the cutie mark problem.” I started texting my response to him. “That’s…. nice….. brah! Can…. you…. explain….. later?” I send the text and continued looking for Crème’s photo. “Oh Luna, he texted back!”

”Don’t read it then, man! Read it later!” Blaze suggested.

“Nah, I never leave a text hanging unless I’m REALLY busy, or I’m sleeping, or my phone is off.” I said, and then I started reading the message. “Sure thing, man. Where are you?” Then I started texting back. “I…. am….. at….. dinner.” I send the message, and continued to look for her photo, but then I got another text message from Spike. “For Wizard of Hope sake, brah!”

“Stop responding!” Psyche demanded.

“Spike is a fast texter!” I said. “Ok, here’s the picture of her- No, wait, that’s Fluttershy with cream of wheat all over her face, hang on.”

“I never thought it would take this long to look for a picture on my phone. I usually just save them on my computer and delete them off my phone, unless they’re important, or if I seen a hot mare on the street.” Poni said.

“Here she is! Her mane style looks a bit different then than now, because everypony kept confusing her with Fluttershy, so she made a humantail on her mane.” I said.

“Ah! Can you text me the picture?” Poni asked.

“I don’t have your number.” I said.

“Do you have Herb’s number?” Poni asked.

“Actually, yes I do. I dunno when I got it though.” I said, sending Herb Leafhorn, Jr., my old school bully that turned into my friend recently the picture of Crème, and explaining why he needs it. “Ok, so you mafia dudes think you’ll be able to help me out?”

“Of course, my boy! We’re the Friendship Mafia! We keep things peaceful around here, and if anypony in our streets has been kidnapped, then we’ll rescue them, and bring the kidnappers to justice.” Poni said.

“Actually, Crème got kidnapped in her house in Ponyville.” Engie said.

“Well, regardless, we’ll help you out!” Poni said.

“Ok, it was Dr. Swinebutt and his goons that kidnapped her.” I said.

“Ah, that rascal again? Alright, we’ll do our best to find them.” Poni said.

”Thank you, Mr. Cipriani! I promise I’ll pay handsomely for this!” I said.

“Hey, good deeds are its own reward, Mr. Gun!” Poni said.

”Might I ask? Why do ya call yaself a mafia, when ya do good deeds?” Aqua asked.

“I dunno, I just like that name; ‘Mafia’. Makes us sound badplot!” Poni said, and chuckled.

“Yeah, you got that, man! You got that!” I said and chuckled.

“Alright, chow!” Poni said as he walked out to get his own table.

“Isn’t this great, Flare? You got the mafia workin’ along side ya!” Engie said.

“I guess I should’ve axed for their help before. I keep forgetting I befriended them.” I said.

“That’s awesome, brah! With the mafia working by your side, we’ll be able to find Crèmepop in no time!” Blaze said. So our dinner arrived, and we all loved it! Except for Aqua; he got sick.

Afterwords all went back to my parent’s house, had a little chat with eachother, and had ourselves a little slumber party. We decided to have some fun, like watching a few movies together; Water showed Crystal her collection, and those two were having so much fun in the other room, having a little ‘girl time’. They were giggling a lot in there, we wanted to ease-drop on them, but they kept going quiet when they heard us near the door, and then they whacked us with pillows, and a couple of times, Water used her water magic against us. After a while went by, it was time for us to go to sleep. I was sleeping on my old bed as everypony else was sleeping in sleeping bags on the floor. Water and Crystal were sleeping in the other room, and Engie and I were planning to do a prank on them in the middle of the night, but it’s only midnight right now. All my friends were asleep, but not me. I was up, reading more of Crèmepop’s diary, seeing a lot of cool stories she made. I was laughing at a few, was about to cry on a few, and I even got to the part where it says she had a crush on me. Wow, I didn’t know Crème felt that way about me! I was quite impressed! I was blushing because most of the diary kept saying cute things about me; saying I’m the cutest pony she ever known, the funniest too, and she’d spend the rest of her life with me if she had to. I guess I was barking up the wrong tree this whole time! Crème was the one I was supposed to be with, not Pinkie! I eventually fallen in love with Crèmepop, and when we finally rescue her, I’ll ask her out on a date! I just got to the one of the more recent parts of the diary, and I started to frown. I eventually gasped! My heart started pounding, and a couple of tears fallen out of my eyes.

“I…. I don’t believe this!” I said to myself.

“What’s wrong, man?” Blaze asked.

“Blaze? What are you doing up?” I whispered.

“I heard you gasping. I heard you crying too. What’s wrong, man?” Blaze whispered. “Are you reading Crèmepop’s diary again?”

“Yes, but I found lots of content in here that I never known before.” I whispered.

“Like what?” Blaze whispered.

“Will you two SHUT UP?! I’m trying to sleep!” Psyche complained. We were both quiet for a sec.

“Let’s talk in the other room.” Blaze whispered. So Blaze and I got up, and we walked to the living room so I can explain what I discovered. “So what’s the problem, man?”

“I was looking through this diary, and I found out…. Crèmepop’s in love with me.” I said.

“Awww! That’s so sweet!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, but it gets better.” I said. “She says I’m the cutest, funniest, nicest pony she ever known and she’d want to spend the rest of her life with me.”

“That is so cute, man! I guess you’ve been barking up the wrong tree, huh?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah, I just said that.” I said. “I also said that during my Dare to be Stupid song. Dare to be stupid.”

“So, I assume you’ll be asking her out when we rescue her, huh?” Blaze asked.

“Well, you see man, that’s why I’m upset.” I said.

“What do you mean, Flare? You’re single again. You’re not going out with Pinkie anymore, so what’s the problem?” Blaze asked.

“The problem is….. I was the reason she’s gone.” I said.

“No you’re not, Swinebutt is!” Blaze said.

“Yes, Swinebutt kidnapped her, but she was planning to run away from home. She found out I was in a relationship with Pinkie, and it broke her less than three.” I said.

“Her what?” Blaze asked.

“Her heart.” I said.

“Ah, I keep forgetting what less than three meant.” Blaze nodded.

“So, Blaze, maybe this is what she wants. Maybe I shouldn’t rescue her. She doesn’t want me anymore it seems.” I said sadly.

“That is not true, man! You saw her in Swinebutt’s video feed. She was suffering in there. She NEEDS you, man! You’re her prince charming!” Blaze said.

“Ok, shut up with that prince charming garbage, brah! Unlike Rarity, this isn’t a fairytale for me, capieche?” I asked.

“I understand, but my point is, Crèmepop needs you. You should give her what she wants. She wants you to date her, man! If this is what she wants, then ol Flare Gun’s gonna give it.” Blaze said.

“You’re right, brah! You’re absolutely right! I have to be the one to rescue Crèmepop!” I said.

“Yeah, and we’ll help!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, exactly! You take care of Swinebutt’s goons for me.” I instructed him.

”Yeah, and then you’ll date that girl!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, and then we’ll have an ice cream eating contest when we get back!” I said excitedly.

“Maybe….” Blaze said.

“Aww, so Crèmepop IS your marefriend after all, bro! That is so sweet!” Water said as she stood from the hallway.

“SHUT UP, sis! Mind your own business!” I yelled throwing a pillow at her.

“So? You weren’t minding your own business when you were ease-dropping on Crystal and I!” Water said, winking at me.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” I asked.

“I was gonna ask the same thing.” Water said.

“I’m doing some important research right now.” I said.

“Yeah, reading the diary of your future special somepony is TOTALLY important!” Water said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, and she started laughing.

“Angry face!” I growled at her.

“Calm down, bro.” Blaze advised me as he held my shoulder. “Save your anger for Swinebutt. He’s the one that you should be mad at.” For once, Blaze was right. Heh, yeah for once! Yeah that’s what I said! So we went to bed. Engie and I slept over the prank we were planning, but don’t worry about it, we needed our much needed rest. It was 8 in the morning, and I heard my phone’s text message chime go off. My text message chime was pretty loud; I sort got my volume to go up a bit. Plus the phone’s vibrate was on, and it shook my nightstand, causing a loud noise to wake me and Aqua up, since Aqua was the closest to my nightstand. I looked at the text message, and it was from Herb Leafhorn, Jr. It said; ‘I have found the location of your marefriend. Meet me at the stadium at 10:30.’

“STOP SAYING SHE’S MY MAREFRIEND!” I yelled which woke everypony else up. So we all woke up, my dad made us some breakfast, and I went to the stadium alone. Over at the stadium, there was a practice Nashorse race going on. Saw my favorite racers go by, including Jeff Gorspeed who waved at me. I looked over at the section that Herb is suppose to be in, and I walked over. “Sup brah?”

“Sup, brutha from another mutha?” Herb asked giving me a bro-hoof.

“Not bad, not bad! I didn’t know you liked Nashorse too!” I said.

“Yeah, it’s pretty much my favorite sport event I like to watch.” Herb said.

“Wow, I should’ve hung with you more in school.” I said and chuckled.

Herb chuckled along. “Heh! Yeah man, for sure!”

“So I got your text message.” I said.

“Yeah, no duh! Why else would you be here? Trying to get a sale on Pony Stewert hats?” Herb asked sarcastically.

“Heh! Yeah, along with some Jimmy Fastson bobble heads!” I said and we both laughed.

“Yeah, I remember getting in a fight with one kid trying to get a foam finger and brah, things really got tough!” I said.

“Uhh, dude…. that was me.” Herb reminded me.

“Oh…. really?” I asked.

“Yeah, really.” Herb said.

“Oh, well then, sorry that I won the finger.” I said.

“Yeah, man. Too bad it was the last one.” Herb said.

“Well, you couldn’t have one anyway, you know why?” I asked.

“Why?” Herb asked.

“Cause I’m NUMBER ONE!” I said.

“HA! Yeah, for sure man, for sure!” Herb nodded.

“Where’s Angel and Annabelle?” I asked.

“They’re getting things set up. I wanted us to bond a bit, so that’s why I asked you here.” Herb said.

“So, do you know where Crèmepop and Swinebutt are?” I asked.

“Yes, I needed to meet you here because I wanted to give you a few stuff that would help ya out.” Herb said.

“Alright, but first tell me the location.” I instructed him.

“Aww, I wanted to give you the items you needed first.” Herb whined.

“Alright, do that.” I said.

“Nah, I’ll tell ya the location first.” Herb said.

“Well- MAKE UP YOUR MIND, BRO! You say one thing and then you agree with me, and then you say another thing! Why do ponies do that?” I asked.

“I dunno, man.” Herb said.

“For Wizard of Hope’s sake, man! You’re crazier than birds that like to hang out in outside restaurants!”

A cutaway shows a couple of pigeons waiting around at a fast food joint that has tables only outside, and they were waiting for ponies to throw food at them. “Alright! This is the perfect spot to get free food, dawg!” one of the pigeons said.

“Awesome! So what do I do?” the second pigeon asked.

“You just wait. Sometimes ponies throw fries at us, so we can eat them!” the first pigeon said.

“They do? They just give them away!” the second pigeon asked.

“I know, homie! It’s crazy, isn’t it?” the first pigeon asked.

“Wow, you two bums are sad; you need to get jobs.” Big Bird said as he walked by. The cutaway ends.

“So the location that your friend is hanging out in is in the Magic World theme park.” Herb said.

“My friend? Swinebutt ain’t my friend.” I corrected him.

Herb laughed. “I wasn’t talking about him!”

“Yeah, I know! I’m weird!” I said.

“Yes you are!” Herb said.

“So how you know he’s there?” I asked.

“It’s pretty obvious. Swinebots are all over the park. His family actually owns the theme park.” Herb said.

“No way!” I said shockingly.

“Yeah way!” Herb nodded.

“Well, this makes things a little more difficult. I never thought I’d be fighting my worst enemy over at my favorite theme park. Especially if it’s a place, where they say, is where dreams come true.” I said.

“Well, the world is full of surprising unexpected things, my friend.” Herb said.

“Sure is, Herb. It sure is.” I nodded.

“So the items you’ll need are in this package.” Herb said, giving me a package. “Six tickets are inside already, for you and your friends. They’re V.I.P. passes though, so you can be able to cut the lines.”

“Don’t I need scissors to cut the lines?” I asked.

Herb laughed. “Enough with the jokes, man! This is serious!”

“Uhh, hello? Have you just met me, and this crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe? I’m never serious, man!” I reminded him.

“I figured.” Herb nodded. “I heard your Engineer friend is a hacker. Maybe it’ll be easier if he was around to help hack the security systems around the area.”

”I wouldn’t want to hack anything. What if the rides shut down? I don’t want the other guests around the park to affect with what me and my friends are up to.” I said.

“Trust me, unless we’re going to our last resort plan, then no guests should be affected by what we’re up to.” Herb said.

“But wait, what do you mean ‘last resort plan’?” I asked.

“Me and the mafia will help you out. Just in case you and your friends get captured. What you’ll need to do is try to turn on the park’s alarm systems. That’ll give the signal for all of us to come in and rescue you, but to be safe, this should stick as a stealth mission. The last resort plan is if we have no other choice.” Herb said.

“So regardless, this mission will be successful?” I asked.

“If you’re able to turn on the alarms in the park, then yes.” Herb said.

“Alright, let’s do this!” I said, giving him another bro-hoof.

“Yeah, let’s pop! Make like a tree, and get in there!” Herb said. So I went back home to pick up my friends and we all took a bus ride over to the Magic World theme park bus station. Water came with us too, I dunno why. The seven of us met up with Herb and his guys hiding outside the park.

“Crimson Flare Gun and his new friends!” Annabelle said excitedly.

“Yeah, man. We ready to clean the streets, man?” Angel Heartstrings asked.

“You know it!” I said.

“What’s Water doing here?” Herb asked.

“She followed us here. I tried to stop her, brah. I really did.” I said.

“I wanna help, bro! Don’t leave me alone at home with MOM! Crèmepop is my friend too, and I want to help out.” Water said.

“Just to let ya know, mate, there’s only six tickets for us.” Aqua reminded her.

“Can I just stick with Herb?” Water asked.

“Ok Water, you could stick with Herb, but STAY with him.” I instructed her. “Herb, keep an eye on my sister. She is to remain with you at all times.”

“I’ll do my best, bro.” Herb said. “I mean, I’m not the brightest pony around. I met your sister before, she could be quite clever.”

“Yeah, we all know how that feels, partner.” Engie nodded.

“Hey Herb, I see your cutie mark is a baseball bat. What does that supposed to mean? Are you good at sports?” Crystal asked.

“Nah, I just like whackin’.” Herb said.

“Wow… judging by your past, I’m not surprised.” Psyche said.

“Well, that was how it originally was. Now I just whack haters. It’s my job.” Herb said.

“Does the mob always rely on violence?” Blaze asked.

“It’s more of a last resort thing.” Herb said.

“Yeah, you and your last resorts, huh Herb?” Engie asked.

“Alright, so we know the plan, right brahs?” I asked my friends.

“Here, to make sure the swinebots don’t recognize you. We got you some disguises. Swinebot scanners aren’t as… umm… good, as you may think.” Herb said.

“Good? That’s the best word you could say? Not as ‘affective’?” Psyche asked.

“I’m not good with big words, man.” Herb said. “My dad did not raise my right.”

“How are things with the battle against your dad, man?” Blaze asked.

“Terrible.” Herb said.

“Terrible? Does he keep defeating you?” Crystal asked.

“In a way, he does.” Herb nodded. “For every time I have to fight him, it’s always a defeat for me. Regardless of me winning or losing the fight, I always feel like a loser when fighting him.”

“Wow, that’s deep, man.” Blaze said.

“Anyways, time’s a-wasting.” Annabelle said.

“Yeah, man, we gonna do this thing, man?” Angel asked.

“Yes. So you six better get going. Remember the plan, alright?” Herb asked.

“You got it, Herb!” I said.

“Be careful in there, Flare!” Water warned me.

“We’ll be fine, Water.” I said.

“You two, Aqua!” Water warned him.

“Thanks, Water.” Aqua said.

“Ok… I’ll be here with Herb awaiting your arrival with Crèmepop by your side.” Water said.

“Wow, and she doesn’t even wish the rest of us luck.” Crystal complained. So the six of us all went over to the restrooms to change into our disguises, and then we walked up to the park entrance.

“Alright, so we’re disguised as Magic World visitors. We need try to find where Crèmepop and Swinebutt are hidin’.” Engie said.

“This sounds like fun! We’re going into a theme park for free!” Crystal said excitedly. “Best part: V.I.P.! We get to cut in lines! Makes riding the rides a lot easier!”

“Yeah, but we’re not here to have fun, Crystal. We’re here to rescue Crèmepop.” Aqua reminded her.

“I know! But riding the rides WHILE looking for Crèmepop! Makes this mission fun, at the same time useful!” Crystal said.

“Alright, so we’re heading inside.” I said. “The plan is: We use our tracking devices to look for Crèmepop. If we find out the location, do not provoke without backup. We can’t let an ambush stop us. We have to work together!”

“Sounds good!” Blaze nodded.

“And in case of an emergency situation, we have to turn on the alarms so the mafia can move in and support us.” I said.

“Why can’t we just pull the alarm now?” Crystal asked.

“Because we don’t want the rest of the visitors in this park to be concerned of what’s going on. We want them to still have fun around here. Remember, this is mission is between us.” I said. “That also means, you can’t ask anypony for help unless it’s eachother, or Herb and his gang. Herb is outside the park right now, keeping an eye on things. He’ll radio in if he sees anything out of the ordinary. But don’t ask anypony for help!”

“Why not? We can just go to the information booth for help.” Crystal said.

“Because, if they know we’re after Swinebutt, they’ll tell him, and they’ll lock down the park, and send out the swinebots in the park after us.” Engie explained.

“Exactly! So we’re all splitting- RED ONE!” I yelled as I punched Psyche in the arm when another volkswagon drove by.

“STOP DOING THAT!” Psyche yelled.

“So, we’re all splitting up. Crystal, you check Adventure Land, Psyche you check Future Land, Blaze you check the skies of course, Engie you check out Redneck Land, Aqua you check out Fairytale Land, and I’ll check out Circus Land.” I explained.

“Redneck Land? Really, Flare?” Engie asked in an insulted tone.

“Yes, really. Now, without further ado. Let’s go rescue Crèmepop!” I said.

“Sounds good! Let’s move out!” Blaze yelled as the six of us all went inside the park to go look for Crèmepop.

“You watch out Swinebutt!” I said to myself. “I’m coming after you! You too, Crèmepop! I’ll save your life and then I’ll give you that date you wanted! I should’ve done it before, Crèmey! I’ll find you!” I started looking around the theme park for her. As we were all looking, I wanted to sing a little song. It’s a parody of Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams! Isn’t he a talented singer? He is, isn’t he? It goes like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f06QZCVUHg

“I got my first loyal employee, found her eating a lime. Was in needed of a lot more help, this was Ponyville October 29.” I sang as I tried looking for Crème. “Me and Lyra and Bonnie, were working together and we tried real hard. Then I saw, this pretty pink and white mare, I knew she would help me get real far. Oh when I look back now…. I saw her eyes staring at me forever…. and if I had a choice…. Yeah I’d always wanna see them! Those were the best days of my life! HA-HAAAA! Uh huh!”

As I was singing, and my friends were looking for Crèmepop, Engie ran into a little trouble. One of the robots saw through his disguise and grabbed him, and took him into an Employees Only section. Looks like Engie was caught! None of us noticed though. I wasn’t the only one singing though. As Crèmepop was held, all tied up in Swinebutt’s HQ, she sang along with me like we were having a duet together, but we had no idea!

“Ain’t no use complaining, when I had a job to do.” Crème sang. “Spend my evenings down at your pizza shop…. and that’s where I got attracted to you, yeah!”

We both started to sing together, and with the help of digital effects, the two scenes we were in were fused together among a while cloud background. “Standing in front of the pizza shop door…. you told me you’d wait forever…. oh we’re both from Maream… I knew it would be now or never! Those were the best days of my life!”

“HA HA-HAAAAA!” I shouted. “Oh yeah!”

“Back in October 29!” we both sang. Crème was still rotting in her pen and we all were still searching, but as we were doing so, Aqua fell in a trap door and we lost touch of him. “Man we were killin’ time,” we both sang, “we were just stuck in the friendzone… I guess plain friendship don’t last forever….. forever, no!”

Crystal was riding the rides this whole time, but when she was riding Pirates of the Equesterian sea, the raft floated to a restricted section of the ride and we lost touch with her next.

“And now the times are chargin,” we both sang, “look at everything that’s come and gone. Sometimes when I think about you, I should’ve dated you, but it all went wrong!”

We both then sang together again; “Standing in front of your pizza shop door…. You told me you’d wait forever….” Psyche suddenly gets grabbed by a hook and we lost contact with him. “Oh we’re both from Maream…. I knew it would be now or never! Those were the best days of my life!”

“RAH HA HA-HAAAAA!” I shouted.

“Back in October 29!” we both sang again. “Ooooh, back in October 29!”
“Oh yeah! Back in October 29!” We both kept singing ‘October 29’ during the ending parts of the song, but while the song was concluding, Blaze gets shot down by a tranquilizer dart. The song ended there, and as a refresher, I wanted to hear how my friends were doing.

“Report in, brahs!” I said from my walkie-talkie, but nopony responded. “Hello? Brahs? Crystal? Engie? Psyche? Aqua? BLAZE?! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?! Why aren’t you responding?!”

“How is everything, man?” Herb asked from the walkie-talkie.

“Herb, I lost contact with the others!” I said.

“I see. You need some help?” Herb asked.

“No… not yet, but I need you to stay there, and keep watch on stuff. I think they might be captured.” I said.

“But you haven’t been captured yet.” Herb said.

“I know…. I think I might be falling into a trap. I’m heading over to the back isles of the park. The tracking device is going strong right now, but the signal is showing below ground! I think Crèmepop is right through here.” I said.

“Alright, but be careful, Flare! If this is a trap, you might need some help.” Herb said.

”Let’s just stick with the plan, brah. I push the alarm, and that’s when you come in with the others.” I said.

“Ok, I understand. Be careful down there. If it’s underground I might lose contact with you.” Herb said.

“Understood! How’s Water doing?” I asked.

“She’s complaining on how expensive the food is around here.” Herb said.

“25 bits for a treeburger?!” Water shouted. “And this isn’t even a combo!”

“Regardless, she’s still here and safe.” Herb said.

“Good. No matter what happens, you are not to enter the park until I push the alarm, understand?” I asked.

“You us mobsters say capiche, not ‘understand’.” Herb reminded me.

“Whatever. Over and out.” I said as I put the walkie-talkie. I entered one of the back lot buildings and I walked on downstairs. The signal to my tracking device is getting stronger. I know now that I’m getting very close to Crèmepop! I know I must take care of Swinebutt too, but I have to get Crèmey to safety before I think about anything else. I wanted to call for her name, but I didn’t want the guards to see me. In fact, there weren’t ANY guards at all! I was all alone when I was walking through the corridors. I saw some security cameras and I know they see me, but nothing’s going on. No alarms, no guards, no anything! There were signs that led to a prison area and all the doors on the way there were unlocked. I knew now I was walking myself into a trap! I had to warn Herb!

“Hello? Herb? Come in, Herb!” I said through the walkie-talkie, but there was no response. “Herb Leafhorn, do you read? I’m inside the base and the signal to Crèmepop is getting even stronger now, but I think I’m running myself into a trap. If you don’t hear from me in the next 15 minutes, send help without the alarm! Did you read that? Herb? Come in, Herb! Herb?” There was no response at all. I was too deep underground; I must’ve lost signal. I had to be prepared, so I was charging up my horn and I got it ready for anything that might pop out. I was feeling a little scared, but my love for Crèmey now was so strong that I couldn’t let anything get between her and me now. I know I violated her privacy, but reading her diary made me realize she was the real pony for me. Just then, I heard screaming coming from the corridors to the east.

“CRÈMEY?!” I yelled. “I’M COMING CRÈMEY!” I started running through the corridors really fast trying to find where the scream is being held. The signal to Crèmey was EXTRA strong now; the device was beeping REALLY FAST! The device said that Crèmey was just through the door to the right of me. I opened it up and I went inside. It was dark in there. I shot a few flares so I can see what’s going on. Once I went inside, the door SLAMMED SHUT behind me, and a spotlight turned on and there Crème was in front me! “Crèmey!”

“Flare! NO!” Crème yelled.

“I’m here to get you out, Crèmey! I’m sorry for putting you into this! I’m here to get you out!” I said.

“NO, FLARE! IT’S A TRAP!” Crème yelled.

“It’s a trap? That’s Admiral Ackbar’s line!” I reminded her.

“NO! RUN, NOW!” Crème yelled.

”WHAT?!” I yelled, but I was too late; I was whacked in the back of the head by somepony. I dunno who, but I had the feeling it was Fonz whacking me on the back of the head with a baseball bat. Before I passed out, I kept hearing little blurry voices, yelling my name. I knew it was Crèmey that was yelling them, but I couldn’t do anything, and I passed out helplessly.

TO BE CONTINUED….

Keep Your Friends Close - Part 3

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I was lying down helplessly on the floor after I was whacked in the head by Fonz’s baseball bat, or at least that’s what I assuming I got hit by. I was having visions while I was out. I see Crèmepop and me sailing in the ocean on a yacht. She was offering me a hot fudge sundae and some iced tea in a glass with a little umbrella on it, because the glasses with the little umbrella on it are always the sign of paradise.

“I gotta say, Crèmey, life has been awesome possum these days.” I said.

“I know! Our new lives together really make life worth living!” Crème said.

“With you around, Crèmey; I don’t care if I have no friends. I don’t care if everypony keeps bullying me, and betraying me! As long as I have you with me, that’s all I ever want!” I said.

“Aww stop it, Flarey!” Crème said blushing.

“Hey, one thing’s for sure, I don’t even mind selling everything I own for this yacht, even my own business! All I want is to make you happy face!” I said.

”That’s all I ever want from you too, Flare.” Crème said as she snuggled on me. I stare at her pretty eyes, and her wavy white hair, and her pretty smile. She leans over, trying to give me a kiss. I lean over too, trying to kiss her too, and once I gave her a kiss…. I actually found out who I was really kissing.

“Hey, lover boy! You wanna see me bring home the bacon?” Swinebutt asked, giving me a seductive look, and then he started laughing evilly.

“GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” I screamed. I found out it was just a dream once I woke up. “Oh, thank Wizard of Feelings it was just a dream!”

“Hey, brah!” a voice said in front of me.

“What’s up, brah?” I asked. “Who’s talking?”

“I’m you, from the future!” future me said.

“Hey, didn’t the Doctor ever tell you not to screw up time?” I asked.

“Oh, don’t worry! The Doctor is long gone!” future me said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“He went back to the human world and made Jammie Lynn Spears one of his companions.” future me said.

“WHAT?! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” I screamed again. After that, I woke up again from another dream. “Whoa! Another dream? Oh Luna, I really hate it when there’s a dream inside a dream, and you keep waking up non-stop! That gets really old! Am I awake now?”

“Heffalumps and woozles….” A voice said in the background.

“LAWL what?” I said.

“Heffalumps and woozles!” the voice said again. “Steals honey…. Beware! Beware!”

“What is this?” I asked, as I landed on a ground with fog all around me.

Honey pots started appearing around me and started singing, “They’re black, they’re brown, they’re up, they’re down, they’re in, they’re out, they’re ALL ABOUT! They’re far they’re near, they’re gone, they’re here, they’re quick and slick insincere! Beware, beware, be a very wary bear!” These heffalumps and woozles were everywhere, messing with my mind, and pushing me around, and they continued singing; “A heffalump or woozle, is very, confusel; the heffalump or woosel is very sly – sly – sly – sly! They come in ones or twoosels, but if they so choosels; before your eyes you’ll see them multiply – ply – ply –ply! They’re extra ordinary, so very, be wary, because they come in every shape and size, size, size, size-“

”HANG ON A MINUTE!” I yelled.

“What’s wrong, boy?” a woozel asked.

“You got the wrong guy. This ain’t my nightmare!” I corrected them.

“It’s not?” a heffalump asked.

“No! I’m not scared at all! I find this to be very funny!” I said.

“Oh…. well, then. Sorry about the confusion.” the woozel said.

“You mean: confusool?” I teased.

“Don’t tease our song, just be gone already!” the woozel said, feeling offended. Right after, I feel like my head is killing me! I opened my eyes and I see nothing but a blur. I can tell now I was actually awake.

“Ugh! Wha-what?” I said, trying to get up. Fonz then kicked me in the face. “OW!” I yelled.

“WAKE UP!” Fonz ordered me.

“Hey, hey! That’s being a little harsh, don’t you think, Fonz?” Ray asked.

“Well, aren’t you a softie?” Fonz asked.

“Look, the boss has his prize now. He doesn’t want them in pain…. yet.” Ray said.

“Grrr! Fine!” Fonz said with an attitude. He then looked at me and said to my face, “Just you wait until the boss gives them signal, you shrimp!”

“Ugh! I feel dizzy!” I said.

“Sorry about Fonz, man. You know how he is about the ponies he hates.” Ray said.

“I can imagine…” I said, rubbing my head, still half-asleep.

“Flare? Flare are you ok?” Blaze asked, running towards me.

“Ah, partner! Look at you. You look terrible.” Engie said.

“I feel terrible.” I said.

“Well you should’ve seen them before. Each of them came inside and ripped off pieces of our hair!” Psyche said.

“W-wha… why?” I asked.

“We don’t know why, but I somehow think that those ponies we saw back in Ponyville before that were after out hair or blood were actually them in disguise.” Aqua said.

“Well I guess that explains why Thundy’s hair fell off when one of them gave us the ice cream.” Crystal said. I just continued laying there as they all talked on top of me. I could hardly see; I was in pain, and feeling pretty dizzy. Also, whatever is going on right now is under a first-person view.

“How can ice cream make a pony’s hair fall off?” Engie asked.

“There was dynamite inside the ice cream.” Crystal said.

“Huh? How can ya not notice that, Crystal?” Aqua asked.

“It wasn’t me! It was Thundy!” Crystal said.

“Regardless, you should’ve heard the fuse inside.” Psyche advised her.

“Yeah, for real. How can ya not hear the fuse?” Aqua asked.

“I had the feeling that noise was actually the ice cream’s truck’s tire going flat.” Crystal said.

“Well that’s just the stupidest thing ah ever heard!” Engie said.

“Guys, I think we should take Flare and put him on the bench here.” Blaze suggested.

“Yeah, good idea.” Engie said as they all picked me up, and laid me down on the bench.

“Wh-where are we?” I asked.

“We’re in a dungeon of some sort. Just don’t try to talk Flare. Just relax.” Aqua advised me.

“Wow, Flare, you certainly look terrible!” Engie said.

“Leave him alone, Engie.” Aqua instructed him.

“Yeah, leave him alone, Engie!” Crystal repeated.

“Don’t start that, Crystal. You kept on saying on bad Flare looked when he was still out.” Aqua reminded her.

“You just mentioned it now, Aqua!” Crystal said.

“That’s not the- nevermind, I don’t want to argue with ya, Crystal.” Aqua said as he shook his head.

“Wh… what’s Swinebutt up to?” I asked.

“We don’t know yet. We haven’t seen him yet.” Blaze said.

“Were you able to find Crèmepop?” Psyche asked.

“Y-you mean you guys haven’t seen her?” I asked.

“Not at all. Did you?” Psyche asked.

“How could he if he asked you if you seen her?” Engie asked Psyche.

“No, I did see her. I found her, b-but…. She said…. it was a trap, and then I woke up here.” I said.

“Looks like Swinebutt fooled us all.” Engie said.

“Celestia, how could we be so foolish?” Aqua asked.

”If only we were able to reach an alarm sooner, then our reinforcements would be and we’d get out of here!” Blaze said.

“Wouldn’t they come in and rescue us if we take so long?” Engie asked.

“I doubt it. Herb said only an alarm will trigger them. For now, they’re just on stand-by.” Blaze said.

“H-how long have I been out?” I asked.

“A few weeks.” Crystal said.

“Knock that off, Crystal.” Aqua said to her. “Ya have only been out just 40 minutes after ya were dragged in here.”

“Seriously though, Flare. You look awful!” Crystal said.

“Alright that’s it! Give me a mirror.” I demanded.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea, Flare.” Aqua suggested.

“Just give me a mirror!” I ordered them.

“Alright, fine. Somepony give him a mirror.” Blaze instructed somepony.

“Here, ya can use the puddle down there as a mirror.” Aqua suggested. I leaned over to face down at the puddle underneath me, and I see what my face looks like.

“That’s it? A bloody nose and a black eye? I’ve had much much worse in the past!” I complained as I got up from my seat, oh and everything is third-person view again.

“No Flare, you should sit down.” Blaze suggested.

“No, Blaze, I’m fine. I just need to stand up for a sec and think of a way out of this.” I said. I went over to the door and pulled on it, hoping it would open.

“You know, Flare; if the door was unlocked, we would’ve been out of here by now.” Psyche said.

“Then I’ll use my magic!” I said.

“Good luck, you have an anti-magic ring on your horn.” Psyche said.

“Well then, Psyche; looks like we’re cell buddies again!” I said excitedly.

“Woo hoo.” Psyche said sarcastically.

“Is there anypony out there I can talk to?” I asked.

“Just Penny Nickels. He was assigned to guard the door.” Engie said.

So I knocked on the door to get Nickels’ attention. Knock, knock, knock; “Penny?” Knock, knock, knock; “Penny?” Knock, knock, knock; “Penny?”

“What can I do for you, prisoner?” Nickels asked.

“What is going on here?” I asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough, my friend. You’ll find out soon enough.” Nickels said.

“Nickels? Please bring the prisoners to the lab.” Swinebutt said on his radio.

“On our way, boss.” Nickels responded on the radio. “Alright prisoners, let’s go!” Nickels opened the door, accompanied by some swinebots, and they hoof cuff us, and they led us over to the lab. On the way to the lab, I kept seeing Swinebutt’s logo all over the walls (the black circle with the red S), and on the words below it read ‘Swinebutt Industries’.

“Swinebutt Industries?” Aqua asked.

“It’s Dr. Swinebutt’s company name. This is his Mareami headquarters.” Officer Nickels said. He a couple more; his main HQ is at.”

“Silence, Nickels.” A swinebot ordered him.

“Oh… right, my apologies.” Officer Nickels said.

“If Swinebutt Industries is an actual company, what does he sell?” Psyche asked.

“He sells advanced electronic devices and drugs. Some of which are illegal.” Officer Nickels said.

“Quiet, Nickels!” a swinebot ordered him.

“Oh… did I say that?” Nickels asked.

“You were always a foolish one, Officer Nickels.” Psyche said mischievously.

“Laugh all you want, Psyche, because I have you right where I want you.” Officer Nickels said. “Dr. Swinebutt has been a very good boss.”

“He’s going to betray you one day like he did to Flare and Boorlie Pomodoro.” Blaze informed him.

“No he won’t because I have a lot of connections.” Officer Nickels corrected him. “Boorlie Pomodoro was small time. I don’t even trust him. I could tell by the look of his eyes that he was a crook.”

“Like you?” Psyche teased.

“Once Dr. Swinebutt is done with you, Psyche, he told me I could have you. Oh the things I would do to you, Psyche.” Officer Nickels said to him mischievously.

“Ok I’m actually more disturbed than scared right now.” Psyche said.

After the conversation, we headed over to the lab where Swinebutt and Steelhoof were setting things up in there. “Ah, Crimson! It’s so good for you to join us!” Swinebutt said and snorted.

“Hey, I don’t care what you do to me, just LET CRÈME GO!” I demanded.

“But why? The two of us were having a little fun!” Swinebutt said.

“What are you doing to her, you porkchop?!” I asked angrily.

“Porkchop?! Wow, you’re really being offensive today, aren’t you?” Swinebutt asked.

“This battle is between you and me; I don’t want Crème to be a part of this! She’s very special to me!” I said.

“And that’s why I have her, and later this evening, it will be time for tickling!” Swinebutt said.

“TICKLING?! You promised you wouldn’t if we came to rescue her!” I complained.

“Yeah, but you DIDN’T rescue her, did you?” Swinebutt asked mischievously. I just stood there, not saying anything.

“Dot, dot, dot.” I said.

“You see, Crimson, you always fall for my tricks. You’re such a gullible little pony, you know that?” Swinebutt asked.

“HEY! I’m a gullible BIG pony! Don’t call me little!” I demanded.

“Acting like a spoiled child, that’s Flare Gun for you!” Swinebutt said.

“And my sister.” Aqua added. “Anyways, why do ya need us here, Swinebutt? Why did ya take off pieces of our hair? Why were ya after it?”

“Why to ruin your lives of course!” Swinebutt said. “It’s not just Flare anymore, because-“ Before he could finish, his maid Consuela walks into the room.

“I clean in here?” Consuela asked.

”Uhh, yeah sure, but I’m having a little evil meet right now, so keep it down.” Swinebutt instructed him her. Consuela started dusting off the shelves, as Swinebutt continued talking. “Because to get my goons to help me, I need to repay them, and I’m like-“

Before Swinebutt can finish, Consuela takes out a radio from her pocket, turns on a radio, and some Hispanic music comes on really loud while she’s cleaning, and Swinebutt gets annoyed by it. The song was probably called; ‘Muchos hornos’. I don’t speak Spanish so I dunno what it really mean. Swinebutt just facehooved, and he walked out of the room. He came back a few minutes later once Consuela was done in there.

“Alright, sorry about that.” Swinebutt said as he entered. “So where was I?”

“No worries. Aqua was asking about why we’re here, and why you took off pieces of their hair.” I said.

“Oh, right! Why, to ruin your lives of course! It’s not just Flare anymore because to get my goons to help me, I need to repay them, and I’m like ‘Why not’; Flare is more offended anyway when I mess with his friends.” Swinebutt explained.

“Yer a real charmer, aren’t ya?” Engie asked.

“Why thank you, Engineer!” Swinebutt said. “Now, my plan is to keep you all here while I put your decoys out to take over as your lives, and everypony will hate the Noble Six, and I can also use them to overthrow the princesses, and take over Equestria!”

“Oh now this is about taking over Equestia, huh? What about me, brah? What happened to ruining my life?” I asked.

“Silly Flare, it’s not JUST about you anymore! I’m off to bigger places now! I’ve been a laughing stock to all, and to end it, I must be the new ruler of Equestria, and I need your evil clones to help me out.” Swinebutt said.

“So you’re making evil clones of us?” Psyche asked.

“You got it!” Swinebutt said.

“COOL!” Crystal said excitedly.

“Your clones are in development right now. Although, I do have one clone that’s actually finished.” Swinebutt said. “Steelhoof, bring in the first clone!” Steelhoof nodded and he went over to the other room to get the first clone.

“Oh is it me? I hope it’s me! My clone’s gonna look pretty awesome if you ask me!” Crystal said excitedly.

“Sorry, Crystal Iceblast, but it’s not your clone.” Swinebutt said.

“Blaze’s clone?” Crystal asked.

“Blaze’s clone is actually going to take longer than any other. We need to make sure the dragon powers and phoenix powers are still inside. Cloning procedures take awhile, you see.” Swinebutt explained.

“Good to know you like putting in every detail.” Blaze said.

“Flare’s clone came along nicely though! He has all of Flare’s powers, and knows all his secrets!” Swinebutt said.

“Sooo, you made Psyche’s clone right?” Crystal asked.

“NO, Crystal! He made Flare’s clone!” Psyche corrected her.

“Now how do you know that?” Crystal asked.

“Uhh, he just said he made it.” Psyche said.

“BEHOLD! The new wevil clone!” Steelhoof said coming back in and announcing the arrival of my new evil clone. The clone starts walking inside. We were all wondering what he would look like. I hope he has a sense of humor like me. Once he stepped out of the shadows, he was wearing a black suit, he had red eyes, and he had a big red S on his eye. Wait a minute, why does he look so familiar? THAT’S RIGHT! He’s the Evil Emperor Zurg! No wait…. That’s not right.

“Sup brahs?” my evil clone said mischievously.

“HOLY WIZARD OF STRENGTH!” I yelled.

“Is that…. Is that….” Aqua stuttered.

“No, it can’t be! That looks a lot like you from that time you were brainwashed at Chaos Mountains, Flare!” Blaze said.

“It’s…. Darth Flare!” I said shockingly.

“Yes, Crimson, it is me! Darth Flare! Never thought you’d see me again, huh?” Darth Flare asked.

“HOW?! You were me! But…. Now you…. Have your own body…. And…. Stuff…. Lots and lots of stuff.” I said.

“Foolish pony! I’m not just an evil version of you! I’m a criminal mastermind, I’m disloyal, I’m like the complete opposite of you! And the best part: I DO NOT have a sense of humor.” Darth Flare said mischievously.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” I yelled. “How can you not have a sense of humor? When I was you, or…. I don’t know how I’m supposed to say it. When I was Darth Flare, I used to tease the Mane Six when they were held in their cells, and I used to go ‘EVIL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL’!” I explained.

“You still use leet speak?” Darth Flare asked.

“Only every once in a while. It was starting to get annoying so I slowed down.” I said.

“Hmm, I see. Anyways, Flare Gun, I am here to take over your life! I know everything about you. Your security codes for your trailer, what’s inside your personal chest, and I even know your secret recipe in your shop.” Darth Flare said.

“DO NOT REVEAL MY SECRET RECIPE! PLEASE?!” I begged.

“Oh I will, Flare! I most certainly will; especially to Boorlie Pomodoro!” Darth Flare said.

“Not Boorlie!” I begged.

“Yes, Boorlie!” Darth Flare said mischievously.

”Actually yes, go reveal my secret recipe to everypony, even Boorlie! I want you to! You’d be making my business stronger that way!” I said with a smile.

“You can’t fool me, Flare. I know your tricks. I know you’re trying to just say you’re happy about it just to get me to stop doing it, so you would suffer. I’m not an idiot, unlike you.” Darth Flare said.

“Hey, if I’m an idiot, you should be too. I’m…. technically you!” I said.

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH, MORON!” Darth Flare yelled and slapped me in the face.

“OW!” I yelled.

”OW!” Darth Flare yelled. “Why did that hurt?” Darth then punched me under the chin, and it hurt me as well as him. He flicks me in the nose, I go ‘Ooo!’ and so does he. He flicks my nose again, and we both go ‘Ooo!’ He just looked at me for a few seconds, squinted at me, and then flicks my nose again, and we both go ‘Ooo!’ “Well then, it looks like you screwed up again, Swinebutt.”

“What do you mean?” Swinebutt asked and snorted.

“You made it so if he gets hurt, I feel the same pain. Now I can’t lay a hoof on him.” Darth Flare said.

“It’s just a little biological error. I’m sure I can fix it up before I make the other clones.” Swinebutt said.

“Yeah, well, you hurry it up, porkchop! I need all the assistance I can get if I were to help you take over.” Darth Flare said.

“PORKCHOP?! I am your superior and your creator, don’t EVER INSULT ME!” Swinebutt ordered.

“Ppppfff! Whatever! I’ll be making some pizzas.” Darth Flare said.

“Wait, you’re making pizzas?” I asked.

“I know your recipe and I am hungry. I know I’m evil and I want to make you miseriable and take over your life, but nopony can deny your pizzas are the BOMB!” Darth Flare said.

”BOOM!” I said.

“Do that again, and I’ll punch myself in the stomach, and in case you’re too stupid to notice, it’ll hurt you too.” Darth Flare threatened me.

“I know what’s going on, I ain’t deef!” I corrected him.

“It’s ‘deaf’, you twit.” Darth Flare said as he rolled his eyes and walked out.

“My Luna! That pony is worse than Duke Nukem on adrenaline!” Crystal said.

A cutaway shows Duke Nukem running around really fast, punching the aliens real fast like those robots from the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em game. After Duke fights the aliens, their heads pop off, but when Duke fought the flash because they were going equally fast, BOTH of their heads pop off. The cutaway ends.

Meanwhile outside the park, Herb, Water, and the Friendship Mob were waiting outside for a signal. They seemed to be getting bored. “Hey did you know life in the 1930s, everything was in black and white? It wasn’t just movie footage; it’s what it actually looked like back then.” Annabelle said.

“That would explain Wizard of Oz, man.” Angel said. “After seeing the new Oz movie, man, it turns out that Kansas really is in black and white too. Trust me, I’ve been there. Or at least the Equestrian version of it, man.”

“UGH!” Water groaned. “What is Flare taking so long?! We should go in there right now!”

“No, Water, he didn’t give us the signal yet.” Herb reminded herm “We have to stand-by. We don’t want to ruin the tourists’ day. They paid a lot of money to be here. I’d feel bad for them emptying their bank accounts just to have their days ruined.”

“But Flare hasn’t responded in hours! Neither did Aqua!” Water said.

“Or the rest of the Noble Six for that matter.” Annabelle added.

“Who?” Water asked.

“C’mon, man, this girl has a point, man, we should go in there, clear these streets, and rescue them. They’re obviously in trouble right now, man.” Angel said.

“Trouble or not, we have to stick to the plan.” Herb said.

“And what if Flare’s DEAD down there?” Water asked.

“Swinebutt isn’t that harsh.” Herb informed her.

“No, but… that flankhole Fonz Punkskull is down there! I know what he’s capable of!” Water said. “Flare also told me about Officer Nickels, Dr. Steelhoof, Ray Promanade, and… well… I saw enough internet memes to know what Blue Spy is all about.”

“But for all we know, everything could be according to plan.” Herb said. “Think of the glass half full, Water, that’s what my mom taught me. We have to have faith in Flare and his friends.”

“Heh! Glass half full, Water. You made a funny, Herb!” Water chuckled.

“Oh…” Herb chuckled along. “So I did!”

“But still… shouldn’t we be better safe than sorry?” Water asked.

“You told me what Flare and his friends are capable of. They’ll think of a way to get out of whatever situation they’re in. I just… I don’t want the Friendship Mafia to have a bad name for ruining these tourists’ day.” Herb said. “The Friendship Mob name means a great deal in this town, and I can’t see that being taken away from us. Don’t worry, Water. I’m sure they’re fine. We just have to wait.”

“Well… can I have another Ricky Rat ice cream then?” Water asked.

“Didn’t you have two already?” Herb asked.

“This is the only place on Earth other than the Magicland theme park in Los Pegasus that sells that stuff!” Water informed him. “Besides, I’m hungry when I’m stressed out.”

Meanwhile back at Swinebutt’s HQ, Nickels takes us all back inside the dungeon. “Get in there you! You’re gonna make well servants for us, either that, or we dispose of you. Swinebutt’s choice!” Nickels said as he laughed mischievously. “But Swinebutt says if you want to do anything that might prove him useful, or might amuse him, he’ll take any suggestions!”

“Grrrr! Swinebutt has gone too far this time!” Blaze yelled.

“He already crossed the line ever since he came into our lives.” Psyche said.

“We can’t go on like this. We have to get outta here.” Aqua said.

“There is no known way out. We’re lost in these underground corridors!” Engie said. “Our only option is try to get to the alarm and call for the mafia to help us!”

“We can’t though. They cuff our hooves every time we walk through the halls. I dunno what to do.” Aqua said.

“Man, we screwed up bad!” Crystal said.

“No….. I screwed up bad.” I said sadly, sitting down in the corner, facing the wall.

“Flare, what are you doin’ over there?” Engie asked.

“I put myself in time out.” I said.

“To be honest with you, Flare, this whole dungeon is one big time out.” Psyche said.

“Flare, what’s wrong?” Crystal asked.

“It’s my fault. It’s my fault Swinebutt came into our lives.” I said.

“No it’s not.” Blaze said.

“YES, BLAZE! IT IS!” I yelled as I stood up and turned towards him. “I angered him, and he followed me to Ponyville, and now that I befriended you all, YOU’RE ALL AT RISK! All because of me! If I didn’t move to Ponyville in the first place, you would’ve all been fine.”

“Flare, it’s no big deal. Ya had no idea he was followin’ ya.” Aqua said.

“I know, but still! Just for my own happiness, I put your lives at risk; I put Crèmepop’s life at risk, and I think I’ve endangered the WHOLE KINGDOM’S lives at risk!” I yelled.

“Flare, listen-“ Blaze started.

“NO! YOU LISTEN! Everything I do is wrong! Wherever I go the pain just follows me around! I can’t get away from it! Swinebutt will not stop until I make my downfall, and now he wants to take over the kingdom too! I made him angry and I deserve to be hated on.” I said as tears fell out of my eyes, and I sat back down in the corner.

“Flare….” Blaze said, trying to put his hoof on my shoulder, but I push it away.

”NO! Just leave me be! I want to be alone right now.” I said. The Noble Six just stands there, not saying anything. They all feel bad because they think it wasn’t my fault, but it is. Dr. Swinebutt is interfering with their lives all because I befriended them, and Crèmepop….. what I done to her was far worse than anything I could ever imagine. I failed to rescue her, I failed as a friend, and I never knew how she truly felt until I lost it.

Hours went by, Engie had his guitar with him and he sang himself a little song; “Headin’ up to San Celetgo, for the labor day week-end show. Ah’ve got mah hush-puppies on, ah guess ah never was meant for glitter rock and roll…. And honey ah didn’t know….. that’d ah be missin ya soooo! Come Monday, it’ll be alright; come Monday, ah’ll be holdin ya tight, ah spend four lonely days in a brown L.P. haze, and ah – just want ya back by mah siiiiiide.”

“That was really good, Engie.” Psyche nodded.

“Yeah, even though prisons usually have harmonicas, not guitars.” Aqua said.

“You want me to hum like I’m using a harmonica?” Crystal asked.

“Sure.” Aqua said. Crystal started humming Kumbaya My Lord while pretending to use a harmonica. Just then, something hit me. After Engie played that Jimmy Buffet song, it hit me! Why does Jimmy Buffet’s last name sound different than restaurant buffet’s? Should we call Jimmy Buffet, Jimmy Buff-ay, or do we call restaurant buff-ays, buffets? Like saying it how it’s spelled? Just then, something else hit me!

“Ow!” I yelled as Crystal threw a rock at me.

“Sorry!” Crystal said as she chuckled.

“That joke’s been old for a while.” Engie said.

“BRAHS, and sista… I KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW!” I yelled in excitement.

“What do ya mean?” Aqua asked.

“I KNOW HOW WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE!” I cried.

“Alright, but not too loud. Nickels is out there.” Psyche whispered.

I ran up to the door, and started knocking on it. Knock, knock, knock; “Penny?” Knock, knock, knock; “Penny?” Knock, knock, knock; “Penny?”

“Quit doing that! That’s really starting to get annoying!” Nickels complained.

“I want to give Swinebutt some amusement! I wanna make him a music video!” I said.

”A music video, huh?” Nickels thought.

“Yes! Do you have any supplies lying around they we can use?” I asked.

”I’ll ask the boss if it’s ok to lockdown the perimeter and you can freely look around for anything you might want to use.” Nickels said.

“AWESOME! Go ahead and tell him!” I said. Nickels nodded and he went back to Swinebutt to tell him the news.

“What was that about?” Blaze asked.

“I know how we can get out of here!” I said.

“Good idea, Flare. When we can freely look around for items we use, we can find a way out.” Aqua understood.

”Well, yes and no. The thing is we’re not getting out that way.” I said.

“So… how we getting’ out?” Aqua asked.

“We’re not, but I heard the theme park alarm is in a security room up ahead. That room will be locked down as well as our escape. They’ll only leave storage rooms unlocked for us. We’ll look around and find items for the video, AT THE SAME TIME, find items that we can use to escape!” I said.

“So what’s going on with the video?” Blaze asked.

“We’re going to actually make the video, and when we finally show the video, that’ll distract the guards, and once we find the items that we can use to escape, one of them will be the key to unlock our hoofcuffs and we can sneak to the security station and activate the alarm. Then the mafia will come in and rescue us!” I explained.

“Wow, Flare…. I never knew you could think of a plan like that.” Aqua said shockingly.

”Yeah, that’s probably either the smartest or the stupidest plan I ever heard in my entire life.” Psyche said.

“Not sure if offended or touched.” I said, while taking out a small box out of my pocket.

“What is that?” Blaze asked.

“Inside this box are two things; things I call Thing 1 and Thing 2.” I said.

“Seriously, what’s in that box, man?” Blaze asked.

“Right before Pinkie broke up with me, she gave me this box. Inside has musical instruments that we can use to make the video.” I explained.

”But most of us don’t know how to play instruments.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, only Engie knows how to play the guitar.” Psyche said. “Also you know how to play the accordion.”

“But Pinkie says the power of polka is inside us! As long as we can feel the music, we can play it!” I said.

“Wow, I must’ve hit him on the head with that rock harder than I thought.” Crystal said.

“I’M SERIOUS, brahs! I trust Pinkie completely! I know these instruments will save our lives! I know it sounds crazy, but has Pinkie let us down before?” I asked.

”Flare’s right, guys.” Psyche said and nodded.

“Pinkie let me down before.” Crystal said.

“Now then! Let’s make ourselves a polka video!” I said excitedly. So an instrumental version of Push It To The Limit by Scarface plays in the background as we all walk around the corridors looking for items that’ll be useful for the video, but at the same time, getting stuff to help us escape. Like, if we’re getting ourselves some wire, we also find rope and a hook so we can make a grappling hook. We also spend a lot of time making the video. Engie was in charge of the special affects. We borrowed a laptop computer and as Engie was making the digital effects, he was also researching and hacking the HQ’s database so we can look for the security station and find a way to escape safely, as well as locate Crèmepop and bring her to safety. Many hours went by, and it was nearly dusk. Swinebutt, his goons, and the swinebots were all gathered in the projector room to watch the video.

“Wow I can’t wait to watch this video!” Ray said excitedly.

“I certainly hope this music video is better than what MTV shows to us these days.” Blue Spy said.

“Hmph.” Darth Flare said to himself.

“Now, now, Darth. Your time will come to rise soon. Just keep yourself entertained while we watch their new music video!” Swinebutt said excited as he places his pinky near his mouth.

“This is pointless! I’m out.” Darth Flare complained as he walked out of the room.

“Well, suit yourself then!” Swinebutt said.

“Sup brahs? My name is Flare Gun, and I would like to show you the première of our new music video! I hope you like it!” I said. I then jumped off of stage and met up with my friends in the back as the lights get dimmed. The projector screen turns on, and the video starts, starting with counting down the time left until the movie starts.

“Alright! Let’s do this!” Engie whispered holding the hoof-cuff key, and removing our hoof-cuffs from place so we’re free.

“Alright so once Aqua’s second scene comes on, we sneak out.” I whispered.

“Aww, but I wanted to see the whole thing!” Crystal complained.

“No time.” I whispered.

“I don’t want to see my first scene though. Pretty pathetic.” Blaze whispered.

“Just follow my lead.” I whispered. The count down ended, and the video started. The polka song we were singing was Polka Face in the video, and whatever goes on this music video is similar to the actual Polka Face music video. It starts off with me, Crystal, Engie, and Blaze on the alps playing our musical instruments. The three of them were dressed like yetis while I was dressed in a Scottish mountain-climbing outfit. I was playing the accordion, Engie was playing the tuba, Crystal was playing the drums, and Blaze was playing the clarinet. After our little Liechtensteiner Polka musical number, we start singing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRJILK3NxSM

“Muh muh muh muh!” Aqua and Psyche sang as they were also wearing Scottish mountain outfits. Two clarinets appear on the screen, and the third clarinet was actually backwards. “Muh, muh, muh, muh!” they sang again.

“Oh, whoa, oh oh!” I sang as I wore an accordion outfit. I started moving my accordion outfit body up and down and side to side. “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no he can’t read-a my polka face…”

“She’s got to love nopony.” Blaze and Crystal sang as they were too wearing the Scottish outfits.

“Can’t read my, can’t read my, no he can’t read-a my polka face…” I sang as I was now wearing a beer barrel outfit with a pint glass helmet on top of it. I then take the pint glass take the cider off my head and poor it inside my barrel body.

“She’s got to love nopony.” My friends sang as I take remove the pint glass with my head inside it and then I pour my liquidized face inside my barrel body. Digital effects at its finest!

“P-p-p-polka face, p-p-polka face!” I sang as I stuck my head out of a zipper in trousers that is on a big green Peter Pen-like hat.

“Muh muh muh muh!” my friends sang.

“P-p-p-polka face, p-p-polka face!” I sang as I stuck my head out of the horn of a saxophone as legs were hanging from the blowhole.

“HEY!” my friends all shouted.

Crystal was now wearing a giant robot suit, running around neighborhoods and city streets, rawring at the camera, and pointing at random objects in the street that she finds offensive, like a traffic light, and a fire hydrant. She then started to sing, "Fillyizer, filly-fillyizer, you’re a fillyizer; oh, filliyzer, oh, you’re a fillyizer, baby! You, you, you are; you, you, you are; fillyizer, fillyizer, fillyizer…” she then sang in a deep voice, “…. Fillyizer.”

Crystal starts riding around on the front of a sports car and smashes a few cars in a couple of scenes, throwing them as she sang, “Boy don’t try to front- (uh unt) I know just as what you are (are, are)! Boy don’t try to front (uh unt)! I know just as what you are (are, are)!” Crystal starts chasing Blaze down a dark alley and tries to put on lip-stick until her face short-circuits. ”You say I’m crazy! I got your crazy! You’re nothing but a FILL-E-IZER!”

The next scene shows Engie staring at me as I wore a dress and posing for him, and he starts spinning his head around, seriously spinning it, and then his head falls off and lands on the ground. As he did that he sang, “You spin mah head right round, right round, when you go down, when ya go down down!” Engie’s head starts spinning around again, and his head gets flushed down the toilet by me still wearing a dress as he continued to sing, “You spin mah head right round, right round, when ya go down, WHEN YA GO DOWN- HEY!”

The next scene shows Psyche just sitting down on a sidewalk tilting his head from side to side while wearing a hobo outfit and listening to music. “Day and night…” Psyche sang. “The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night. He’s all alone through the day night.” Psyche’s face starts to turn into a tricked out smiley and rainbows started flashing in the background.

“Day and night!” the Noble Six sang.

“The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night.. at, at, at night!” Psyche sang.

Aqua’s scene shows him drinking out of a water bottle, wearing a dress, while shaking around and bowling, and then cries after he says ‘I need you now’. He sang, “It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone, and I need you nooooow!” He then dances, trips on the bowling ball, and trips down the stairs, bounces on a trampoline, and holds a teddy bear as he cries again. “Said I wouldn’t call, but I lost all control and ah need you nooooow!” Aqua starts crying harder, and the room starts flooding, and the stuffed animals hold out umbrellas. “And I don’t know I can do without-“ Aqua then sang as the bowling ball’s third hole moves like a mouth, “I just need you now!”

“And I was like-“ Blaze sang as the scene changes to Blaze’s head moving his head from side to side. “Baby, baby, baby-“ Trumpet plays. Blaze then looks down and sees himself in a high-chair, wearing a diaper. “Baby, baby, baby-“ Engie and I show up beside him. “Baby, baby, baby-“ I held out a spoon with baby food on it, and Blaze shakes his head really fast, begging for no food, and then I stuff the spoon in his mouth, and then he looks at the camera in confusion. “I thought you’d always be mine!”

Next scene shows Crystal was wearing sunglasses while she starts tapping on the symbol on her drums in a jazz-like style, and then she bangs on one of the drums twice. After that, a couple of searchlights swing by until they aim on Aqua, who was carrying a banjo around him. “So, so what? I’m still a rock star. I got my rock moves, and I don’t need ya, and guess what? I’m havin’ more fun-“ Aqua then bangs the banjo on the ground, breaking it, but if you hear in the background instrumental, the banjo was still playing in this part. “-And now that we’re done, I wanna show you tonight-“ Trumpet plays, “… I’m alright…” Clarinet plays, “I’m just fine; and ya a tooooool.” A giant hammer then pops up in the middle of the camera as he says ‘toooool’ and then it disappears when he finishes saying that word. “So, so what? I am a rock star-“ Aqua starts dancing. “I got my rock moves; and I don’t want ya tonight.” Jazzy trumpet plays in the background as Aqua crosses his legs real bad; it really hurts him, and he fakes a smile as he does so.

The next scene contains us snapping our hooves, but it didn’t show us doing that, it was just a sound. Crystal just stands there in the center of attention, kissing us dressed as mares, but only on the cheek! “I kissed a mare and I liked it…” She first kisses me dressed as a mare. “The taste of her cherry chapstick. I kissed a mare just try it…” She then kisses Aqua dressed as a mare, as a picture of Black Thunder appeared on the screen as she scene the next part of the song, “Hope my coltfriend don’t mind it! It felt so wrong, it felt so right-“ She then kisses Blaze dressed as a mare, but he makes a frightened face while looking at a picture of Rainbow Dash. “-Don’t mean I’m in love tonight. I kissed a mare, and I liked it…” She then kisses Psyche, who was NOT dressed like a mare, and he wears a t-shirt saying ‘I’m a stallion’. Crystal starts to freak out. “I LIKED IT!” Crystal sang as Psyche’s mouth moved, and then Psyche gets punched by a mechanical boxing glove.

The next scene shows Psyche starts walking through a park, carrying a briefcase on his wing and walking a penguin with wheel-feet on a leash. He sang, “And I’d like to make myself belieeeeeve… that planet Earrrrrrth tuuuuurrrrns sloooooowly. It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep….” Psyche and the penguin jumps into a bed which turns into a giant briefcase and a giant penguin picks it up, while walking Psyche on a leash. “Cause everything is never as it seeeeeems!”

Engie’s next scene shows Engie pouring cider for Aqua and I as we gulped down the shots and passed out on the floor. “Blame it on the goose,” Psyche honks a clown horn, “gotcha feelin’ loose!” Psyche slide-whistles in the background. “Blame it on the foam,” Psyche quacks a rubber ducky in the background, “gotcha in the zone!” Psyche hiccups in the background. “Blame it on the ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-hi-der! Blame it on the ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-hi-der! Blame it on the apple-

“HEY!” the Noble Six yelled as Engie was dancing on the bar counter, pouring the whole bottle of cider down our throats.

“Blame it on the peary.” Engie sang.

“HEY!” the Noble Six yelled.

“Blame it on the grape.” Engie sang.

“HEY!” the Noble Six yelled.

“Gotcha lookin scary!” Engie sang.

HEY!” the Noble Six yelled.

“Blame it on the ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-hi-der!” Engie sang. “Blame it on the ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-ci-hi-der!”

Blaze starts dancing around on the dancefloor wearing a Rainbow Dash wig on. “Dashie’s like a melody in my head that I can’t keep out got me singing like! Na na na na everyday! It’s like my iPod stuck on replay!” Every time he says ‘replay’, Blaze rips his hair out. “Stuck on replay! Stuck on replay! Replay! Replay-ay-ay-ay!”

Next scene shows Psyche wearing a chicken outfit starts spinning around Aqua in a pig outfit. They both sang, “Baby are you down down down down down?” Aqua smashes Psyche on the ground with his tail multiple times, and then Psyche spins his tail around like a propeller and they start flying. “Baby are you down?” They both start falling.

Next scene shows Engie reaching inside Crystal’s chest and takes out a fake-paper heart and throws it on the ground, and when Engie sang ‘break, break’ Crystal sang that part along. “Ah’m only gonna break break yer break break yer heart.” Engie then starts smashing the heart with a baseball bat. “Ah’m only gonna break break yer breah break yer heart.” Engie then uses a jackhammer on the heart. “Ah’m only gonna break break yer break break yer heart.” Engie then puts dynamite on the heart and he holds his ears, and Crystal runs away. “Ah’m only gonna breaaaaaak yeeeeer heaaaaaart!” KA BOOMIE!

The video goes back to me, Crystal, Blaze, and Engie on the alps playing an instrumental polka number, something we like to call The Tick Tock Polka. The instrumental also had slide-whistles and dentist drills playing in the background, which was actually Psyche’s department, as well as fun party laughter. I jump up on Engie’s mountain and nod at him as he plays the tuba; I jump on Blaze’s mountain to check out his clarinet playing; I jump on Crystal’s mountain to check on her drum playing; and then I jump back at my own mountain, nodding at the audience with a smile.

“Don’t stop!” Blaze sang.

“Making pop! DJ blow my speakers up-“ I sang. Blaze uses TNT to blow up the speakers and they explode.

“Tonight!” Blaze sang.

“Imma fight – till we see the sunlight!” I sang as I punch the moon with boxing gloves and then I block my eyes when the sun comes out.

“Tick-tock!” Blaze sang as the scene changes to my face that appears inside a clock face and little statue figurines of the Noble Six dance along side clock me.

“On the clock,” I sang, “but the polka don’t stop!”

“NO!” the Noble Six cried.

I start yodeling on top of a mountain, “Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo! Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo!”

Next scene shows me wearing make-up with an accordion hairdo. “P-p-p-polka face, p-p-polka face!” I sang.
“Muh muh muh muh!” the Noble Six sang. My accordion face starts playing.

“P-p-p-polka face, p-p-polka face!” I sang.

The next parts shows he Noble Six all show up in top hats and canes on a stage as we sing our closing of the song, “Oh no you caaaaaaaaan’t reeeeeeeeeead myyyyyyy…” The Noble Six start dancing as sparklers go off on the stage. “P-P-POLKA FACE! TALK ABOUT MY POLKA FACE! P-P-P-POLKA FACE!” Shave and a haircut, 2 bits. “HEY!”

The Whatever’s Left Over Polka melody starts playing to conclude the song as the video flicks 10x fast on random scenes from the video. Then I end the song wearing a one-stallion band outfit, and then a huge tap on the symbol on my head which ends the song.

Everypony in the projector room cheered as the video ended, including Swinebutt. “HA! That was amazing! Flare Gun, I must give you credit, this video made my day! Congratulations, man!” Swinebutt said with a big smile on face and a few snorts. I didn’t respond though. “Flare?” I still didn’t respond. “WHERE ARE THE PRISONERS?!” he yelled. “FIND THEM! FIND THEM NOW!”

Me, Engie, Crystal, Blaze, Psyche, and Aqua were running down the corridors of the HQ. The turret guns activated before we were able to get to the security room. I activated my bubble shield spell to protect us from the guns. “Wow, mate. Haven’t seen ya use bubble shield in a while.” Aqua said.

“I’ve been practicing it. I can now walk and use bubble shield at the same time.” I said.

“Nice! If only the same was said about armor lock!” Blaze said. We went inside the security room and I deactivated my bubble shield. Engie walked over to the security station and Psyche locked the door.

“Alright where’s the alarm?” I asked.

“The whole system is on lockdown. Ah need a password to override it.” Engie said.

“Well hack it then!” Psyche yelled.

“Ah can’t! Ah left the laptop in the projector room so the guards would watch the video!” Engie informed him.

“Well you better hurry and get it over with! I think I hear guards outside!” Psyche said.

“Move that shelf on the door. It’ll be harder for them to get in.” Aqua suggested.

”Good idea, Aqua.” Psyche said as him and Blaze pushed the shelf against the door.

“Hurry it up, Engie! They’re coming this way!” Blaze said.

“Ah can’t! Ah don’t know the password to override it!” Engie yelled.

”MOVE OVER!” I yelled, pushing Engie aside. “Crimson… Death.” I typed in the password and it got accepted.

”How did ya know that was the password?” Engie asked.

“I know he likes to say my first name, and he wants me dead, probably. Turn on the alarm, brah!” I instructed him. So Engie pressed the button that turned on the alarm, and the whole HQ, including the Magic World theme park was on high-alert. All the visitors were getting scared and started running all over the place.

“That’s the alarm!” Water yelled. “I KNEW Flare was in trouble!”

“That’s our cue!” Herb said from outside the gates. “EVERYPONY MOVE IN!” The Friendship Mafia starts moving into the theme park destroying all of the swinebots on the way.

“I’m coming for you, bro! I hear your cry! Let’s go get him, Herb!” Water yelled.

“Follow me!” Herb instructed her.

“Time to clear these streets, man! Clean the streets!” Angel Heartstrings yelled.

Back underground after we activated the alarm, Engie yelled, “There, we did it! Let’s get outta here!”

“OPEN UP! We have you surrounded!” Ray yelled from outside.

“Go back to Hoofture, Ray! It’s safer there!” Aqua taunted at him.

“Whoa, Aqua! Since when were you quite the taunted?” Crystal asked.

“That was a taunt? Oh. I’m sorry, Ray!” Aqua called out.

“Get out of there, and come along quietly!” Fonz yelled.

“We have to get out of here!” Blaze said.

“Over here! I see an air vent!” Psyche said.

“Obviously, that’s the way we escape.” Crystal complained. “Seriously, you call that original?”

“C’mon!” Psyche said as he opened the vent and crawled in first, followed by Blaze, Crystal, me, Aqua, and Engie. Engie placed the vent back in place just as Ray and Fonz kicked the door open.

“Where’d they go?!” Fonz yelled.

“They must be invisible! Maybe Spy was one in here.” Ray assumed.

”AH SHUT UP!” Fonz yelled slapping Ray in the back of the head.

Meanwhile, in the laboratory, Darth Flare was inside pressing some buttons on the cloning machine. A cylinder of some sort pops out and Darth places it in his satchel. “Don’t worry, my friends. You’ll rise soon enough!”

“What do you think you’re doing, Darth?” Swinebutt asked as he entered the room.

“Just packing up some stuff, and now I’ll be on my way.” Darth said.

“What are you doing with my cloning samples?” Swinebutt asked.

“You may have made us, Swinebutt, but you’re only using us as toys, as pawns! Me, and my brothers and sister will live free, away from your control!” Darth said. “I’ll be making them myself.”

“Darth, put those cloning samples down, and go hunt down the Noble Six!” Swinebutt ordered him.

“NO! You’re the boss of me!” Darth yelled.

“Excuse me?!” Swinebutt said shockingly.

“I may be an evil version of Flare, but I know what he knows! I know you betrayed him; you betrayed Boorlie Pomodoro too, and you’ll betray me! I know it!” Darth said.

“Darth… stand down!” Swinebutt ordered him activating his hornsaber.

“So if you’re just gonna stand in my way, I have no choice but to remove you!” Darth said, activating his hornsaber.

Meanwhile, my friends and I started crawling through the air vents, trying to find our way out. Aqua spits something out of his mouth and said, “Dust bunny!”

“Oh yeah, ah hate those dust bunnies! Had some trouble with one at mah house once.” Engie said. A cutaway shows Engie fighting a giant bunny rabbit made of dust with a broom; the bunny ate the broom, and Engie was defenseless. The bunny rawred at Engie and he was looking around for something to use until he found a vacuum cleaner. “SUCK ON THIS!” Engie yelled as he activated the vacuum cleaner, and sucked the dust bunny monster inside. The rabbit screamed when he was getting sucked inside. Engie was successful. “Silly rabbit! Tricks are for kids!” he said, leaning and posing on the vacuum cleaner as the Ghost Busters theme was playing in the background. The cutaway ends.

Just then a spider comes down on Crystal’s nose, and she screams. “SPIDER! SPIDER!”

“OW! Say that louder why don’t you!” Blaze yelled sarcastically.

“You want me to?” Crystal asked.

“NO! We’re in an air duct! Screaming in here is like screaming in somepony’s ear with a megaphone, because believe me, that’s happened to me!” Blaze said.

“Hey! Up ahead! I see daylight!” Psyche pointed out.

“Ah didn’t know it was still daytime.” Engie said.

”It’s our way out! Let’s go!” Crystal said. Psyche, Crystal, and Blaze started crawling over to the vent that led outside, but instead I turned left, and Aqua and Engie were confused.

“Flare, where are ya goin’, mate?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah, the exit’s this way!” Engie said.

“I can’t leave without Crèmepop!” I said.

“Flare?! We’ll come with you!” Blaze offered.

“No, this is something I have to do alone. She’s the main reason we’re here in the first place, remember?” I asked. “LAWL remember guys?”

“You’re right, Flare! We’ll distract Swinebutt and his goons while you go get her!” Blaze said.

“Good luck, mate.” Aqua said.

“I’ll be fine! I won’t fall for any of Swinebutt’s traps again!” I said. Just then, I started crawling over until I found a familiar looking corridor below me. The others went to the exit. I dropped down and I knew now I was in the same corridor as before. I ran through the corridor until I made it back to where Crèmepop was held. “CRÈMEY!”

“FLARE!” she yelled.

“Crèmey! Are there any traps in here?” I asked.

“No, no traps this time.” Crème said.

“Good!” I said as I ran over to her and untied her, and I held her by me. “Crèmey I’m so sorry I got you into this!”

“What do you mean?” Crème asked.

“I know how you feel about me, and it’s not what you think!” I said. “Pinkie and I broke up recently, but we’re still friends.”

“Oh that! I completely forgotten about that!” Crème said.

“Yeah, but we’re not in safety yet. Stay behind me!” I instructed her.

“But, Flare….” Crème stopped me.

“What?” I asked.

“Thank you for rescuing me.” Crème said, and then she pulled me to her and gave me a kiss. Once she released me, I blushed.

“Well…. I expected that, but why does everyone bother kissing when we’re not even done with our mission yet?” I asked.

“It’s for good luck!” Crème said.

“I don’t need luck, sista!” I said as I turned around with my horn glowing. “I have leet by my side! Because…..” I put on some sunglasses. “FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC! YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” I yelled as the CSI Miami theme song plays in the background as Crème and I started running out.

Darth Flare and Swinebutt continued to fight their hornsaber battle until they reached outside. “Give back those clone samples, Darth!” Swinebutt ordered him.

“Over YOUR dead body!” Darth said.

“Shouldn’t it be over MY dead body?” Swinebutt asked.

”Exactly! That’s what I said!” Darth said mischievously.

“You know, even though you’re my evil creation, you still have a lot of Flare in you.” Swinebutt said as they both continued to fight.

The Noble Six opened the air ven, and jumped down, and they were outside. “We made it! We’re outside! We escaped!” Crystal yelled.

“I wouldn’t be so sure wabout that.” Steelhoof said, as he, along with Fonz, Ray, Nickels, and Spy beside them.

“Looks like it’s time to end this, Spy!” Engie said.

“It is your funeral.” Spy said. The Noble Six and Swinebutt’s goons started to charge at eachother, ready for an epic fight, but it turned out, it was all just a girly slap fight.

“Ow! You pulled my hair!” Crystal whined.

“Ow, I’m telling mom!” Nickels whined.

“Eww! Your hooves are all sticky!” Engie whined.

“Shut up!” Ray whined.

“Ooooo, he said the S wooooord!” Blaze said.

Meanwhile, Crème and I ran out of the HQ and we were finding a way to escape. The theme park was pretty occupied. Too many ponies trying to escape that way, and too many mafia ponies charging in. “So how we gonna get out of here?” Crème asked.

“I have no clue!” I said. Just then I saw Swinebutt and Darth running towards a nearby helicopter on a pad. “It’s Swinebutt and Darth!”

“Go get ‘em, Flare!” Crème said.

“Right! Get yourself to safety, while I go finish this!” I instructed her as I ran over to join the battle. Swinebutt saw me charging towards him.

“NO! Forget this! Two of you is too much!” Swinebutt said. He kicked Darth in the face and he climbed inside the helicopter quickly, activated it, and he started to fly off. I joined Darth on the helipad and we were both shooting at the helicopter with our laser blast spells.

“Wait, why are you shooting at him?” I asked.

“I can’t let him escape! Now that I stole his clone samples he’ll be coming after me!” Darth said. But we were too late, Swinebutt escaped, yet again!

“FOR WIZARD OF HOPE’S SAKE!” I yelled.

”Yeah, for once I agree with you.” Darth said.

“So you’re against Swinebutt now?” I asked.

“That doesn’t mean I’m NOT against you! This world ain’t big enough for the two of us, Crimson!” Darth said.

“Yeah, you’re right….. DARK FLARE!” I agreed.

“I guess you know I hate that.” Darth nodded. “I’ll be coming after you, Flare; but for now, I have some new friends to make!” Darth pushed me off the helipad and he ran towards a nearby volkswagon beetle carriage and then he ran off with it.

I then punched myself and yelled, “GRAY ONE!”

Meanwhile with the Noble Six, it was the aftermath of the slapfight and they were lying on the ground in pain, “Ugh! How did we lose the slapfight?” Aqua asked.

“It is over, Noble Six!” Ray said.

”Yeah, surrender at once!” Fonz said.

“Hey, Fonzy!” Water said, while tapping on his shoulder. “Did you miss me?” Just then she punches Fonz in the nose real hard.

“Water Gun, babe! It’s been forever!” Fonz said excitedly.

“Has it been?” Water asked, and then she mischievously said, “Get ‘em boys!”

“Forget this! Forget you all! Forget Swinebutt! I AM OUTTA HERE!” Fonz yelled as he ran away like a coward.

“Coward!” Steelhoof yelled.

“HEY! You mess with our friends, you mess with us!” Herb said along with ten more mafia ponies.

“On second thought…. Wootles!” Steelhoof said as we ran away.

“Yeah, you’re right Aqua, it’s safer in Hoofture!” Ray said as he ran away.

“We shall meet again, Engineer.” Spy said as he turned on his cloaking device, and disappeared.

“TRAIDERS! You’re all traders to Swinebutt!” Nickels yelled. He then looks back and sees everypony smirking at him. “Uhh… hey guys! Wait up!” Nickels ran off as well.

“Are you guys alright?” Herb asked as he helped my friends up.

“We’re fine, Herb. Thank you!” Blaze said.

“Any friend of Flare’s is a friend of ours. Let’s get out of this place!” Herb said.

“Where’s Flare?” Water asked.

“He went after Crèmepop.” Psyche said.

“FLARE!” Water yelled as she ran off.

“WATER! Get back here! He instructed you to stay with me!” Herb reminded her.

“Then come on!” Water instructed him. Herb knew there was no stopping my sister so he ran off behind her.

Back with me, after I got up near the helipad, Crème was running towards me. “FLARE!” Crème yelled as she was running as fast she could.

“CRÈME!” I yelled. Crème ran over to me as I had my hooves out. Once she came over, I picked her up and spun her around. “Crèmepop, I am so sorry I didn’t understand your feelings before! From now on, it’s you and me!”

“I couldn’t agree more, Flare!” Crème said.

“Will…. you….. go out with me?” I asked.

“I would’ve even accepted marriage, but….. I’ll think about it.” Crème said, winking at me.

“How about tomorrow? 10 AM, I’ll show you the town!” I suggested.

“Why that sounds wonderful!” Crème said, smiling at me. I smiled back, and then we both cuddled and nuzzled.

“FLARE!” Water yelled as she ran over towards Crème and I, and she hugged us both.

“Water! I told you to stay with Herb!” I reminded her.

“I am with Herb.” Water corrected me as she pointed to Herb who was standing over there a yard from us.

“It would appear that our mission was suc… umm… succeed… sucsor… what was that word again?” Herb asked.

“C’mere, Herb!” I persuaded him as I held my hoof out so he would join our group hug. He walked on over to us and then he punched me in the face. “OW! What was that for?!”

“Sorry, I was told that if ponies put out their hooves like that they want a punch in the face. It’s like they’re saying ‘come at me bro’.” Herb explained. Regardless, it was nice to see Water, Herb, my friends, and especially Crèmepop that were safe from harm. Mission accomplished! Crèmepop was saved!

Throughout the whole day the next day, it was just Crèmepop and me; we were spending the whole day together. I showed her my favorite shops and restaurants, I took her to the space center, lighthouse point, the Gatorglades, the Hoof Point Mall, Seastar Island, and all the best places to hang out in here in Mareami! I felt so alive when she was there with me! I felt even more alive with Crèmepop then I ever been with Pinkie! I mean, Pinkie was a great pony, and a great friend, but I think Crème and I were actually meant to be together. Throughout the date I kept getting text message from Spike, but you know what? I just ignored them. Crème was the only thing on my mind right now. Oh, I didn’t finish More Than A Feeling, did I? I finished the rest of the song as Crème and I were going out.

“When I’m tired, and thinking cold…. I hide my music, forget the day.” I sang. “And dream of a mare I got to know! I close my eyes and she slipped awaaaaaay! She slipped awaaaaaaaaAAAAAAYY! More than a feeling!”

“More than a feeling!” the Noble Six, Water, Herb, Angel, and Annabelle all sang.

“When I hear that old song they used to play!” I sang.

“More than a feeling!” they all sang again.

“I begin dreaming!” I sang.

“More than a feeling!” my friends sang.

“Till I see Crèmepop walk awaaaaaaaaaay!” I sang. And so, this ended my second vacation back home in Mareami. I gotta say, it was all worth it! I made a new special somepony, I got to see my family, I defeated my worst enemy big time, but at the same time I gained a new one, and one of the best parts: I discovered the true meaning of the power of polka! I’m pretty sure I’d want to use that power again. Perhaps it’s our ticket to heroism, and maybe I’ll get to have that window in the Canterlot castle, along with my friends! But that time will wait. I have Crèmepop to share my moments with now, and there’s nothing that’ll keep between us! I swear by the Wizard of Hope, I would do anything to keep her happy! I also know Swinebutt will return, as well as Darth Flare, and when that moment comes, I’ll be ready for them.

Before it was time to leave Mareami, I had to say goodbye to Herb and the mob first. “Well Herb, you did offer your assistance with the Friendship Mob to help out my cause, and you fulfilled that promise! Your mob is incredibly useful!”

“Thanks, Flare.” Herb said. “Really, ever since my family and my life fell apart, it was all I had. I was originally doing an errand for Swinebutt until I got ambushed and taken to the Friendship Mob HQ, and that’s when I met Poni Cipriani. Me and a couple of his guys went out to spread the mob’s name across Mareami and then I got Angel, Annabelle, and a couple of other new friends I got since I was in hiding to join the mob with me, and it made us happy. It felt good to make other ponies feel good.”

“I heard on the news all that this mob did, but I had no idea you were a part of it at the time.” I said. “Were you a part of that bank job last year?”

“YES! Rescuing those poor ponies after that heist at the Bank of Equestria building was intense! It really got the Friendship Mob’s name going in this town, and it made my dad angry.” Herb explained.

“It wasn’t easy, but it was successful.” Annabelle said. “I didn’t think we’d be able to pull it off.”

“Clean the streets, man. That’s the meaning of my life.” Angel said.

“Hey, you think you’d be able to help us out in situations we’ll be havin’ in Ponyville?” Engie asked.

“It actually depends on the situation. We’re trying to make Mareami safe here, you see, but if you think it’s vital that you might need our help in places that isn’t here, I’ll have to talk it over with the don.” Herb said.

“Well, Herb, we better get going. I mean I’d love to stay, but the shop needs me, and I have more romantic things with Crèmepop I wanna do.” I said as I put my arm around her.

“Sounds like a plan, Flare.” Herb nodded. “Don’t be a stranger now, y’here?”

“Got it!” I agreed. So we all said goodbye to eachother and the mob walks away.

“I got to punch Fonz in the nose!” Water said excitedly.

“That doesn’t change me wanting to keep you safe at all.” I said to her.

“DANG IT!” Water cried. “I so totally need an adult right now!”

“I’m an adult.” I reminded her.

“Not the way you act, you don’t.” Water said.

“Ooooooh snap!” Crystal said.

“Shut up, Psyche.” I said as I glared at him.

“I DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING!” Psyche yelled.

And so, we all returned to Ponyville. Later that day, I was working at my shop along with Crèmey. “Hey Flare, mind if I run a few errands?” she asked.

“No problemo, babe!” I said, giving her a kiss. “Take your time!”

“Thanks, Flare!” Crème said as she hummed and trotting out of the shop, and then Spike comes in with a trumpet.

“What’s up, brah?” I asked.

“Here yee, here yee! Come fourth, soon-to-be-Princess Twilight Sparkle!” Spike said, as Twilight walks inside.

“Playing princess, huh Twilight? I know you’ve always wanted to be like your teacher, sista!” I said.

“Oh, I’m not playing! I’m actually going to be one!” Twilight said as she spreaded her wings for me to see.

”LAWL WHAT?!” I yelled. Lyra’s jaw drop as she sees it.

”Aren’t they pretty, Flare?” Twilight asked.

“PRETTY?! You’re an alicorn now?!” I asked.

“Yeah, isn’t this amazing! I’m having my coronation tomorrow!” Twilight said excitedly.

“Your coronation of being a mary-sue?” I asked.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Celestia and Luna are good enough alicorns if you ask me, and its bad enough Cadance is one. Does this really make sense?” I asked.

“Well, are you jealous?” I asked.

“I’m not jealous, but nopony is gonna like that! Plus, I’m so confused! Why are you a princess?” I asked.

“I made my own magic and then Celestia made me a princess!” Twilight said.

“THAT EASY?! It’s that easy to be a princess?!” I yelled. “You just make your own magic and then you instantly become a princess?! That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Hey it gets worse. She thought out the cutie mark problem just like that!” Spike said snapping his fingers.

“OH YOU ARE KIDDING ME!” I complained. “Alicorn princess Twilight, and she thought of a solution to the cutie mark problem, and now she’s a princess! How does this make sense?! I mean seriously, what the hay?! MAGIC LAWS! MAGIC LAWS! YOU MUST OBEY THE MAGIC LAWS!” That was certainly an awkward moment right there. Twilight just slowly backed away. It’s nice that Twilight is living her dream, but how does this make any sense what-so-ever? Sweet Luna, I think we can all agree that this finale made a lot more sense than that one! But….. if this is what Twilight wants, I am forced to accept that. I wanted to make her happy, so I went to the princess coronation.

It wasn’t so bad at the coronation, at least Luna was there, Spike was singing along with Twilight, and I liked that. I just stood there, watching the coronation with my friends. I punched Psyche again because I saw another volkswagon go by during the parade. Aqua was there with Wind Racer, waving at the Mane Six as they went by. Engie blew a few fireworks, but the fireworks blew Thundy’s wig right off his head, and Crystal giggled. Blaze, Candy Cotton, and Rose were all waving to Rainbow Dash in the parade. Even Adventure Blade was there, but he was playing Binding of Isaac on his laptop while doing so. Over at my trailer, Apollo was watching the coronation on TV with my fish. I also had a lot of fun watching along with my new special somepony: Crèmepop!

“Yes! Everything is going to be just fine!” Twilight said as she started flying.

Just fine? That’s it? What about great?! Also, don’t jinx it Twilight. You say everything is fine, and everything will turn into a disaster! Just you wait until the Season 4 premiere! Also how did you learn to fly that fast? I barely learned how to move my pegasus wings the time I switched races with Blaze!

Anyways, meanwhile inside the castle, Discord was watching the parade from his room in the tower; Swinebutt was there too so he bursted inside. “Well, well, well! What do we have here? A piece of bacon walking into the room?” Discord teased.

“Yeah, ha ha, very funny.” Swinebutt said in an annoyed tone and he snorted.

“I gotta say; you need to scrub that ketchup stain off your eye. Makes you look creepy!” Discord said, talking about Swinebutt’s red ‘S’ on his eye.

“Look, Discord, I have a proposition for you.” Swinebutt said.

“Go ahead! I’m all ears!” Discord said as ears of corn appear where his ears are supposed to be.

“Good! So here’s my deal…” Swinebutt started. It cuts off from there. Also, meanwhile, Darth Flare was someplace else, I don’t know where though. He started pushing buttons and a machine near him activated. Once it finished, the door of the machine opened, and steam came out.

“My friends! Welcome to your new lives!” Darth Flare said mischievously.

Well…. that’s all I got for now! Wow, time flies when you’re having fun, huh brahs? If you’re still here reading this, thank you for reading Friendship is Epic – Book 2: Dat Mareami Heat! I hope you enjoyed it and now it’s time for things to get a lot more interesting! It’s not just gonna be lulz and everything, this is going to be a big adventure! What is Swinebutt planning next? What is Darth Flare up to? Will Crèmepop and I’s relationship last forever? Will I get ponies to quit grabbing my vest or disobeying the Magic Laws? Find out next time….. on FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC – Book 3: Blessings of the Night! OH PSYCHE, WHITE ONE!

“OW!” Psyche yelled. “Keep this up and I’m leaving you!”

Author's Notes:

The final part of the Friendship is Epic Book 2 finale! I must say I had alot of fun with this! Making Polka Face was my favorite part! I really wanted Flare and his friends to preform Weird Al's polka songs in this story, and it's gonna happen more! Darth Flare also returns, but as an evil clone, and he's going to be a new antagonist in the incoming stories ahead! Whatever happens in the end of this chapter is going to connect with the first couple of chapters in Book 3.

I really hoped you enjoyed this story! Plenty more where that came from! Things are getting real interesting aren't they? :D Well, before Book 3 is going to be Equestria Brahs (the FiE version of Equestria Girls), and I'm gonna try to make it better than the EG movie if you didn't like it, but that story is optional, you don't have to read it. It doesn't affect the rest of the story that much.

Friendship is Epic - Book 2: Dat Mareami Heat

by FlareGun45

Don't Go Chasing Water Gun - Part 1

Don't Go Chasing Water Gun - Part 2

With Crème on Top

The Haunted Mansion

The Sisters Dash

I'm On A Float!

Flare's Backstory - Part 1

Flare's Backstory - Part 2

Cell Buddies

Magic Laws

Born To Be Wild

Crystalized

Game Night

The Fund Fun Funfair

Secret's Revealed

Love is in the Flare

Eye of the Draconian

Thundersnow

Welcome to Mareami

Flare Through Time II

Here Comes Santa Paws

Changes in Attitudes

Election Fever (FiE Challenge)

Birthday Bash '012

Aquashock (FiE Challenge)

Attack of the Killer Fish

Roses Are Gold

Keep Your Friends Close - Part 1

Keep Your Friends Close - Part 2

Keep Your Friends Close - Part 3