Friendship is Epic - Book 2: Dat Mareami Heat

by FlareGun45

Here Comes Santa Paws

Merry Hearth’s Warming, brahs and sistas! We’re just about to head to the most wonderfulest time of year! It’s three days until Hearth’s Warming and everypony is decorating the town full of lights, reeves, and it’s the only time they sell egg nog in the stores, which makes me really upset because they should have egg nog all year long! Don’t you all agree? This is my first Hearth’s Warming here in Ponyville! Let’s start off the story with everyone’s favorite characters of the story: my fish! They were just decorating the tank full of Hearth’s Warming decorations. Pearl was putting up the tree, humming a little Hearth’s Warming tune.

“There! All done!” Pearl said.

“Nice try, Pearl! But you didn’t decorate it though.” Rainbow said.

“What do you mean?” Pearl asked.

“I mean, Flare put all these decorations in and look you taking all the glory.” Rainbow said.

“I can’t wait until we get our presents!” Darrel cried out in excitement.

“Darrel, the only presents we ever get is some special type of food Flare only feeds us on occasions.” Dorthey reminded him.

“EXACTLY!” Yoyo said. “That’s why we’re so excited! Right, Darrel?” Yoyo put his fin in the air, and Darrel slapped it.

“You got it, Yoyo!” Darrel said.

Dorthey sighed and rolled her eyes. “Where’s Piddles?”

“Probably sleeping….. again.” Pearl said.

“Piddles has been sleeping a lot lately.” Dorthey said.

“Hey, let him sleep, he’s fine!” Rainbow said. Piddles was sleeping on one of them columns.

“C’MON PIDDLES! Wake up! It’s Hearth’s Warming!” Darrel said in excitement, trying to push Piddles up. Piddles woke up quickly and swam to the other side of the tank and went back down.

“Leave me alone! I’m trying to sleep!” Piddles complained. “Besides, Hearths Warming ain’t for a few days.”

“C’mon, Piddles! It’s daytime! We don’t sleep in the day!” Darrel chuckled.

“Yeah, well, I do. So if you excuse me, Darrel. I got some zees to catch.” Piddles said. “Wake me up when it’s feeding time.”

“I’ll take care of that!” Yoyo said excitedly. Just then, Apollo, Blaze’s pet phoenix flies through the window and onto the fish tank.

“Greetings, my aquatic friends!” Apollo said.

“Hey, who you calling little?” Yoyo complained.

“My mistake, Yoyo.” Apollo said.

“Hey, Apollo! What brings you here?” Rainbow asked.

“Just here to wish you a Happy Hearth’s Warming, and see what you all are up to.” Apollo said.

“I’m decorating the tree!” Pearl said.

“Pearl, I told you, Flare put that in, and you’re taking all the credit for it just by patting on it.” Rainbow reminded her.

“I’m just waiting for my Hearth’s Warming presents!” Darrel said excitedly.

“I’m happy if you’re happy, Darrel.” Apollo said.

“It’s food actually.” Dorthey said.

“Ah, I see.” Apollo nodded. “Where’s Piddles?”

“Sleeping.” Dorthey said.

“He’s been sleeping a lot lately.” Apollo said.

“I know! That’s what I said!” Dorthey said.

“Great minds think alike, huh Dorthey?” Apollo nodded. Eventually, I bursted through my bedroom door carrying a lot of boxes and set them down on the floor.

“Ah, Hearth’s Warming! The most glories and greediest time for the year!” I said excitedly. “You know something, fishies? I have the feeling…… WOOOOO HOOOO, that tonight's gonna be a good night!" I sang, and then I laughed. “Sorry, I had to say that!”

“I don’t remember the last time I heard that song.” Pearl said.

“I have the feeling…… WOOO HOOOO, that tonight’s gonna be a good night!” I sang again. “Wow, I can’t believe I just that again. Anyways, I have a feeling- WOOOOO HOOOO, that….. I gotta stop doing that. What I’m saying is, I think that this Hearth’s Warming will be pretty different than others, you know why?”

“Because you’re in snow?” Rainbow guessed.

“Because this is your first Hearth’s Warming in a trailer?” Yoyo guessed.

“Because you’ll drink egg nog this year?” Darrel guessed.

“He drinks egg nog every year.” Yoyo reminded him.

“Because this year I’m gonna spend Hearth’s Warming with my friends here in Ponyville!” I said.

“That was my next choice!” Darrel said.

“Yeah…. Right.” Dorthey said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“This is also a great year to try out my Santa Paws costume!” I said. “I’m gonna be Santa Paws this year, ring a bell on the streets, taking pictures of fillies on my lap, and ask them what they want for Hearth’s Warming and pretend to care.” I put on my Santa robe, my hat, and a big white beard, making me look exactly like Santa Paws. “And now for the finishing touches!” I place a big wire on my head with a mistletoe hanging over my nose. “Perfect!” I then walked over to the fish tank again. “Now I look a lot like Santa and I’m ready for Hearth’s Warming!” I said kissing the fish tank, since the mistletoe I was wearing was right on top of it. Pearl and Darrel were blushing, Rainbow and Dorthey gave me a strange look, Yoyo was just hungry, and Piddles was still sleeping. “It’s time for me to go out there and spread some Hearth’s Warming cheer!” I looked up and saw Apollo on my window. “Merry Hearth’s Warming, Apollo!” I said, kissing him.

Apollo wiped his cheek and said, “As if Darrel kissing me wasn’t bad enough.”

“Aw c’mon, everypony loves kisses!” Darrel said. “Don’t pretend you don’t love it!” Darrel smirked at him.

I bursted outside into the snow, and yelled out; “MERRRY HEARTH’S WARMING, BRAHS AND SISTAS!” I started dancing around in the snow, and around light poles and such, and started singing; “Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm. It’s one of the best times of the year (just one of them)! A fat old stallion breaks into your home, and he robs you wrong! Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm
You don’t steal from bumble bees…. AAAAH! GET ‘EM OFF! GET ‘EM OFF!” I yelled as bumble bees started swarming me after I attempted to steal from them. Then I step on a pony’s hoof and continued singing, “Step on the toes to friends you know, and everyone you’ll meet! Oh, oh, the missile blows, it destroys all the anger and war… Go to bed early in the eve, because your kids will wake you at 4! Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm, and in case you’re too deaf to hear…”

I then scream inside Adventure Blade’s ear, “HOLY WIZARD OF HOPE, HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY HEARTH’S WARM, THIS YEAR!”

“Oh.” Addie said.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Ok.” He said.

“Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm, it’s one of the best times of the year.” Aqua sang.

“We all laugh at the Hoops and Yoyo cards, and a Blue-Ray of Cars!” Crystal sang.

“Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm, I want a telescope to look deeper into space.” Psyche sang.

“I want a volcano-proof wonderbolt suit….” Blaze sang.

“I hope it burns your face!” Crystal sang.

“Hey!” Blaze complained.

“Oh, oh, nopony knows how much I don’t care about gifts. Beeeeeecause all I want, is my family to liiiives!” Aqua sang.

“That doesn’t even rhyme.” Psyche reminded him.

“I’m really sorry; I wish I didn’t have to do this but… shut up, Psyche.” Aqua said hesitantly.

“It’s ok, Aqua. It’s Hearth’s Warming.” Psyche said.

“Have a holly jolly Hearth’s Warm, and there’s not a need to fear.” I sang.

Then all five of us sang, “We just wish for you to have a fantastic Hearth’s Warm, this year! Praise the Princesses, have a fantastic Hearth’s Warm, this year!” The song concluded there.

“I hope we’re not singing too many songs here, cause I’m not in the mood.” Psyche said.

“I’ll make sure we won’t.” Aqua said.

“Wait a second, where’s Engie? He didn’t sing any part of the song.” Crystal said.

“He must not be here right now. I’m gonna spread more Hearth’s Warming cheer. I better get some egg nogs because I ran out of egg nogs to sell out my shop. Egg nog is soooo good, I just can’t keep them, you know?” I said. So I walked over to the market to get some egg nog and I rushed on over to my shop, which was all decorated for Hearth’s Warming already.

“Hey looks, it’s Santa Paws!” Lyra yelled out.

“HO HO HO! PIMP PIMP PIMP! Merry Hearth’s Warming!” I shouted.

“I hope Santa doesn’t sue you for stealing his looks.” Bonnie teased.

“I’m sure he’ll understand!” I said. “You know, at days like these I miss living in Mareami. Out of all the malls in the world, he chooses the Hoof Point Mall every year to ask the kiddies what they want for Hearth’s Warming!”

“You know, it sounded like you said kitties for a second!” Lyra said. A cutaway gag shows kittens sitting in Santa’a lap and Santa is asking the cats what they want for Hearth’s Warming. Of course the cats kept saying meow, and when Hearth’s Warming came, all they got was Meow Mix.

“Oh great! Every year he gives me meow mix! I keep asking him for a rubber mouse! Is that too much to ask?!” the cat complained. The cutaway ends.

“Hey Santa, did you remember to give everypony presents?” Bonnie asked.

“Give? I still need to buy them! I got this list here and I have to check it twice!” I said. “And since Hearth’s Warming is just a few days away, I better get Hearth’s Warming shopping!” Just then, Crèmepop walks right under my mistletoe just before I was to go out Hearth’s Warming shopping.

“Hey, Flarey!” Crème said.

“Hey, Crèmey!” I said.

“I’m right under your mistletoe right now.” Crème said to me with a seductive look on her eyes.

“Oh right! Sorry, sista!” I said as I was about to lean over and give her kiss, but then Spike came right in the middle of it.

“Hey, Flare! Nice man-smooch!” Spike said.

“What is it, Spike?” I asked.

“I got this letter from the princess; she wants to know if you want to enter the next Hearth’s Warming play.” Spike said.

“That depends, what part am I playing?” I asked.

“Try to guess. Who are you right now?” Spike asked, gaving me a hint.

“I’m Flare.” I said.

“No, I’m talking about the costume.” Spike said.

“Oh, she wants me to play as Santa Paws?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s going to be a different type of Hearth’s Warming play this year. Different from last year’s.” Spike said.

“I didn’t even see last year’s.” I said. Crème then sighed and went back to her post.

“Well, you wanna do it?” Spike asked.

“You don’t have to ask me twice! Sign me up!” I said excitedly.
“Great! I’ll tell Twilight right away!” Spike said. Just then he went out of the shop and walked over to Twilight’s house to tell her the news, and then I walked into the kitchen, and…. Well you know the rest. Eventually, it was time for my lunch break, and I decided to meet my friends at the cider bar, where Crystal, Psyche, Aqua, and Blaze were waiting for me. As they waited, they were watching TV.

“Tonight on Ox News,” the TV announcer said, “Is your home safe when you’re on holiday vacation? Does Santa break into your home anyway when you’re out? Is the reason egg nog only comes once a year is because it’s so expensive? Plus, later tonight, Mrs. Claus is suing companies for her husband’s name and nature being copyright infringed in movies.”

“These movies make a joke out of my husband! Santa Claus is NOT Tim Allen, and there’s no E on our surname!” Mrs. Claus complained.

“Will she get away with it in court? Find out tonight only on Ox!” the TV announcer said.

“Sup brahs?” I asked as I walked into the cider bar.

“Sup?” Blaze asked.

“Ehh, nothing. Where’s Engie?” I asked.

“Haven’t heard from him all day.” Blaze said.

“Me neither.” Crystal said.

“Not a thing.” Psyche said.

“Hey! Who asked you Psyche?” I asked him.

“You didn’t ask Crystal!” Psyche complained.

“Yeah, so?” I asked. Psyche sighed and shook his head. “So what are you all planning to do for Hearth’s Warming?”

“My mom’s coming down, and it’s going to be me, Rainbow Dash, Candy Cotton, and her all together for a great Hearth’s Warming night!” Blaze explained. “Gonna be telling stories, cuddle, warm up by the fire…..”

“Don’t lie, Blaze. We all know you’re not going to do that.” Crystal said.

“Yeah you’re right. We’re going to be racing, and doing stunts, and I’m going to try a volcano trial race with my mom!” Blaze explained in excitement.

“Well, what I’m gonna do is-“ I was about to explain.

“Nopony asked you Flare.” Psyche said, getting me back after I said the same thing to him before.

“Alright, Psyche, I get the point.” I said, rolling my eyes. “How about you, Aqua?”

“It’s just gonna be me and Wind Racer really.” Aqua said.

“I see. Well, you’re always welcome to have Hearth’s Warming with Water and I if you’re lonely.” I insited.

“We’ll have to think it over.” Aqua nodded.

“But for sure, I have to go out Hearth’s Warming shopping real soon! I’ve been so busy at the store; I wasn’t able to get anypony gifts yet!” I said.

“No rush, man! You got plenty of time!” Blaze said.

“Hey, I got a quest-chin.” I said.

“A quest-chin?” Aqua asked.

“Yes, a quest-chin.” I said. “What would you rather do? Burn a Yu-Gi-Oh card or say One Direction is a good band?”

“Totally say One Direction is a good band!” Blaze said.

“It’s true. I’d never burn a Yu-Gi-Oh card even if you paid me!” Psyche said.

“One Direction is terrible! I’d rather burn the card than admit they’re cool.” Crystal admitted.

“You’re terrible, Crystal. You’re really terrible.” I said.

“It’s just an opinion!” Crystal said.

“How about this? Who would you rather date? A cute and friendly stallion or an ugly and abusing mare?” I asked.

“Cute stallion!” Crystal said.

“Not you, Crystal. You have a different question. Would you rather date a cute and friendly mare, or an ugly and abusing stallion?” I asked her.

“I’m going with the mare because you won’t make me date a stallion!” Psyche said.

“Same here.” Blaze said.

“I’d actually go with the cute and friendly stallion.” I admitted. “I mean, I will never date somepony that’s abusing! Remember Fonz Punkskull?”

“Right. That’s why I’d go with the cute and friendly mare.” Crystal said. “Hey, I got a good one! Would you rather die a slow and painful death with your friends, or die a quick and painless death alone?”

“That one’s a toughie! I wouldn’t want my friends to be in pain along with me. So I’d rather go with alone.” I said.

“Same.” Psyche said.

“Ditto.” Blaze said.

“That’s not what I meant. I meant, do you want to have a slow and painful death with your friends still loving you, or die a quick and painless death with all your old friends hating you, and you’re all alone?” Crystal asked.

“I’d rather have my friends still love me, but having a slow and painful death.” Blaze said.

“Same.” Psyche said.

“I can’t live with hate, and I can die with hate too, so I’ll have to agree.” I said.

“Really? Wow, because I wouldn’t care. I’d rather put myself out of my misery.” Crystal said.

“You do have a point there, Crystal. But I’m still sticking with the answer I already given.” I said.

“Aqua, you’re not answering any of these questions. Why?” Blaze asked.

“I’m sorry, but this is stupid and pointless. I’d rather not participate.” Aqua said.

“Sigh. What’s Engie taking so long?” I asked.

“I tried calling him a while ago, he wouldn’t answer.” Psyche said.

“Maybe we should go check up on him.” I suggested.

“Ok but first… our check.” Crystal said.

“Here’s your check, buds.” The waiter said as he gave Crystal the check.

“Ok I saw the check. Let’s sneak out without paying.” Crystal instructed us as the five of us did so, but on the way out, Crystal steals the pen on the receipt. “I have a pen stealing habit.” She said to you.

So we all agreed to go check on Engineer, so we left the pub and went over to his house. We rung the doorbell, but there was no answer. Well…. of course there was no answer, I just rung the doorbell and he were to answer it this particular moment? Well, he hasn’t answered at all, so we kept on ringing the doorbell.

“Maybe he’s not home.” Aqua assumed.

“Nah, his lights are on. It isn’t like Engie to waste electricity.” Blaze pointed out.

I started knocking on the door. Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Engie?” Engie finally resisted, and opened the door. He had a sentry aimed right towards us. We all were surprised.

“WHOA SALAMI!” I yelled. The gun was about to fire at us, but Engie forgot to load it up. HA!

“Darn piece of junk!” Engie complained, kicking it. Then the Sentry gets knocked over and lands on his hoof. “OW! OW! OW!”

“Engie, what’s all this about?” Blaze asked.

“Nothin. What do y’all want?” Engie asked with an attitude.

“Oh, nothing then, if you’re gonna talk to us like that.” I said, feeling insulted, and was about to walk away, but Blaze stopped me.

“What’s wrong, Engie?” Blaze asked.

“Nothin’. Go away!” Engie demanded.

“C’mon Engie! We can help you out!” Psyche insisted.

“Ah’m givin y’all FIVE SECONDS to get out, before ah get ya to freeze to death out here! FIVE… FOUR… THREE….” Engie yelled, pointing a water shotgun at us. Trust me; water guns are a weapon out here in the snow.

“That won’t be necessary Engie! We’ll be going now.” Blaze said nervously as we all walked away.

“THAT’S RIGHT! RUN YOU COWARDS!” Engie yelled, and then he slammed the door shut.

“I don’t get it, what’s wrong with Engie?” Psyche asked.

“Maybe it’s just a squirrel thing.” Crystal teased.

“FLARE! FLARE!” Crème yelled out running under my mistletoe.

“Oh that’s right! I almost forgot your kiss!” I just remembered. So Crème held out her cheek and I was about to kiss her, but then Blaze got right in the middle.

“Nice man-smooch, bro!” Blaze said. “Listen, I have an idea. You should go talk to him yourself.”

“Why me?” I asked. Crème started groaning and mumbling as she walked away.

“Because, he might listen to you!” Blaze said. “Look at you, man! You cheered us up when we were in need, now you must do the same for Enige!”

I was silent for a sec. “I dunno, Blaze. You think I can do it?” I asked.

“I rely on you, Flare.” Crystal said. “You helped Thunder and I get back together.”

“Ya helped me out in mah time of need. It’s the least ya can do.” Aqua said.

“Well…. I suppose I can try.” I said.

“Look at you! You’re dressed as Santa Paws, you’ll do great!” Blaze said.

“Oh right, I forgot I was still wearing this! HO CO PO!” I yelled. “Wow that sounds like something they’d say in Dragonball Z.”

Later that night, Engie was inside his house, working on a project, he saw a picture of him along with Red Pyro and Heavy, and a picture of him with a dead blue spy. Engie just sighed and shook his head. Engie then looks at the photo underneath that picture was a picture of ponies that I never seen before, and Engie looked really different. He had hair in that photo! “Ah wish ah wasn’t stuck like this…” he said sadly to himself.

Just then I started knocking on the door again repeatly. Knock, knock, knock; “Enige.” Knock, knock, knock; “Enige.” Knock, knock, knock; “Enige.” Knock, knock, knock; “Enige.” Engie opened the door.

“What do ya want, Flare?” Engie asked with an attitude.

“Pizza delivery for a mister Red Engineer!” I said.

“Ah didn’t order a pizza.” He corrected me.

“It’s on the house, brah!” I said.

“Oh, well….. thanks partner.” Engie said. “So… where’s the pizza?”

“It’s on the house!” I said.
“Ah know, but where is it?” Engie asked.

“I told you! It’s on the house!” I repeated myself.

“What do ya mean?” Engie asked. I pointed up to the roof and the pizza was right there on the roof. Engie shook his head. “Seriously, Flare?”

“You get the joke, brah?” I asked.

“Yeah….. sure.” Engie said upsettingly.

I used my magic to take the pizza off of the roof and then I gave it to him. “So that’ll be 8 bits!”

“Ah thought ya said it was free?” Engie asked.

“I said it was on the house.” I corrected him.

“That’s what free is.” Engie corrected me.

“Oh that’s free? Wow, and all this time I’ve been putting pizzas on houses. I guess that explains all the complaint phone calls I’ve been having.” I said.

“Here ya wanna come in, Flare?” Engie asked.

“Plox! Plixy plox.” I said. So Engie moved out of the way and we both sat on the couch, eating some of my pizza.

“Look Flare, ah know yer here for a reason. Ya might as well spit it out.” Engie said. I was about to spit on the floor, but Engie predicted what I was doing. “If ya dare spit it out, yer a dead stallion!”

“Look, what’s wrong Engie? I know you’re having a bit of problems right now.” I said.

“Well, ya might not under- Can ya take that mistletoe off from on top of us? This is getting’ awkward.” Engie requested. So I turned the mistletoe around, and it was leaning behind me instead of in front.

“Better?” I asked.

“It’ll do as long as ya don’t look over there.” Engie said.

“Over where?” I asked as I turned my head around to look at the opposite end of the room and the mistletoe was over him again.

“Ah know ah haven’t been comin around lately, but….. ah got a good reason.” Engie said as I look back at him.

“It better be a better reason than the time I had to help you get your teleporter out of a ditch.” I assumed.

“Well…… ah just…… it’s complicated to explain.” Engie said.

“I can tell. You’re skin’s turning orange.” I said.

“What?” Engie asked looking at his skin. “Mah skin was always orange! Look, ah’ve just…… ah can’t do it!”

“You can’t do it what?” I asked.

“Ah can’t say it! Ah’m tryin to say that……. AH HATE HEARTH’S WARMIN ALRIGHT?!” Engie yelled.

“Wow, you hate Hearth’s Warming, huh? Big surprise.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Ya know?” Engie asked.

“Well, every holiday story is about somepony hating the holidays. Well…… maybe I can help you get your spirit back!” I suggested.

“Ah dunno if ya can. Ah mean, ah always spend Hearth’s Warmin’ with mah family, havin’ a good time.” Engie explained.

“Your family, that’s the other classes, right?” I asked.

“Uhh, right, yeah.” Engie said. “It was just us, eating Scout’s pancakes, Heavy’s sandvich’s, Sniper’s gravy, mah bacon.” Engie explained.

“So why don’t you go?” I asked.

“Ah can’t.” Engie said.

“Why not?” I asked. “I can give you money if money is the issue.”

“Money isn’t the issue.” Engie corrected me.

“Then what is?” I asked.

“It’s just… it’s complicated.” Engie said.

“Why you outta make things so complicated?” I asked. “I see the way you’re acting like somepony else, it gets me frustrated.”

“WHAT?!” Engie yelled.

“Whoa! What was that?” I asked.

“Oh… sorry… ah just… don’t worry ‘bout it.” Engie said. “Maybe ya should just go.”

“I can’t go until I can make you happy.” I swore. “I want to make sure you have a great Hearth’s Warming.”

“Well… if you really want to help, you can help me take mah mind off mah family issues.” Engie suggested.

“Oh nonsense, Engie! I’ll reunite you with your family!” I insisted.

“No ah’d rather you help me take mah mind off it all.” Engie said

“Alrighty then. I’m pretty much a pro on getting my mind off things. I did that a lot back at home, so maybe I’ll help you out!” I accepted.

“Much obliged, partner!” Engie said. “Ah really appreciate yer help. It’ll be nice to get outta the house.”

“If you keep sitting around doing nothing all day, playing video games, I’m going to have to charge you for rent.” Engie’s robomom said.

“Ah OWN THIS PLACE, ma!” Engie corrected her. “Be lucky ah don’t charge YOU for rent!”

“Now hang on, if you miss your family, what about robomom?” I asked.

“Oh hush; ah made her, she doesn’t count.” Engie said.

“Do I mean nothing to you? You make me heartbroken.” Robomom said as her computer eyes started tearing up pixelly. “Sobs, weeps, cries, boo-hoo… serious case of heartbroken… proceeding to the nearest cider bar for intoxication.” Robomom then suddenly rides on out of the house, breaking the door on the way out.

“Ah never programmed her to open a door.” Engie said to me.

“So Engie and I went over to Twilight’s place for a little help, so we started throwing books off the shelf, trying to find the books we’re looking for. “Find anythin’ to relate on what ah could do to forget mah pain?”

“What are you talking about, Engie?” I asked. “I’m just randomly throwing books off the shelf.”

Twilight saw me as I was throwing books off her shelf. “Uhh, you ok Flare?” Twilight asked.

“No, I’m just Flare.” I said, still throwing books off the shelves.
“Engie, what are you two doing here anyway? What are you looking for?” Twilight asked. “Come to think of it, when did you two start caring about books?”

“I don’t care about books. I’m just collecting these books so I can BUUUUUURN THEEEEEM!” I said an evil tone, and then laughed evilly with fire bursting behind me, but then Spike started spraying on me with a fire extinguisher.

“Seriously, Flare?” Twilight asked, not believing a word I said.

“No. My interwebs are down, so I have to rely on…. Ick… READING!” I said in a disgusted tone.

“Oooook, well what are you looking for?” Twilight asked.

“Ah haven’t seen mah family in ages and ah need to find somethin’ to help me… you know… distract me from the pain.” Engie said.

“Awww!” Twilight said upsettingly. “That is so sweet!”

“How in ANY WAY is that sweet?” Engie asked. “That’s not sweet, that’s sad! Yer supposed to be the genius here!”

“Well excuse me!” Twilight said in an insulted tone.

“Well I’m not giving up on Engie.” I said. “It’s my duty (heh, duty) to keep my friends happy and make sure their pains aren’t being… you know… painful.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Flare, but…. Don’t you have Hearth’s Warming shopping to do? Not to mention Hearth’s Warming play!” Twilight reminded me.

“I am aware of my scheduling, Twilight.” I said.

“But, Flare…. I think you should realize that-“ Twilight was about to explain.

“Twi.... Light, I appreciate your concern, but I can handle anything! Just give me a book on distractions.” I demanded.

“Why give you a book when I could just give you the advice myself?” Twilight suggested.

“Because the difference between you and a book is that we wouldn’t have to hear the complicated version from you, and we could just see the complicated version on print.” I said.

“See the difference between that is that if we see the words, it’ll give us time to think about what they mean, instead of you just sayin’ them and then we just say ‘what’ nonstop and you have to keep repeatin’ yerself.” Engie explained.

Twilight gave us a both a glare. “How about I just tell you a non-complicated version?” she suggested.

“How about Spike just translates for you?” I suggested.

“Is that all I am to you? A Twilight translator?” Spike complained.

“Eh, whateves. Give us yer best shot, Twilight.” Engie said.

“Well, Hearth’s Warming is a time of giving, right?” Twilight asked.

“Why ask us? You’re the expert.” I said.

“I don’t HAVE TO help you, you know.” Twilight said.

“No you don’t, but I have to help Engie in any way I can, because friendship is very important and magical. You taught us that, didn’t you?” I reminded her.

“Well, since I know for sure that you’re paying attention to how important the magic of friendship is, I’ll set your insults aside and continue to help you.” Twilight said.

“Couldn’t say it better mahself.” Engie said.

“Hearth’s Warming is a time of giving,” Twilight said, “It’s a time of ponies from all over the world to share and exchange gifts; however, there are ponies out there that cannot give because they’re broke, but you can help them. You can send poor kids around the world presents or donations to help them survive and make life worth living. Engie, if you want my suggestion, I say that if you donate a gift to a pony in need, then I think you’ll feel really proud of yourself, and you’ll no longer be miserable.”

Engie was silent for a moment and thought to himself, and then he smiled and nodded. “That is a good idea, Twilight!”

“I could agree more.” I said.

“Don’t you mean, you couldn’t agree more?” Spike asked.

“No I could agree more. I could make a better suggestion, but to be honest, I can’t at this time, and I think I like Twilight’s suggestion.” I said. “Somepony at a poor part of the world needs our help. I think it is time we donated.”

“Why not give them presents?” Spike asked.

“Do we know what they want?” Engie asked.

“Yeah good point.” Spike said.

“Ah mean, what if ah give them a toy fire truck, when they actually prefer an ambulance?” Engie asked. “Or what if ah give them an airplane and they prefer a helicopter? Or what if they prefer a toy gun over a toy shiv? Or what if they prefer their daddy’s hidden stash over a lighter?”

“I said ‘good point’.” Spike reminded him.

“Then we’ll donate!” I said.

“Well… Flare, you see, that’s the thing.” Engie said.

“What’s the thing?” I asked. We eventually went back over to Engie’s house and got on his computer. Engie showed me a picture online on a poor little flufflepuff in another part of the world.

“This is Pal, mah ‘adopted’ flufflepuff.” Engie said.

“Wow he looks so adorable!” I said.

“It’s a ‘she’, Flare.” Engie corrected me.

“A she? Why does it look like a colt then? Only guys are supposed to be fat.” I said.

“Don’t fat girls exist?” Engie asked.

“Shhhh!” I shushed him. “No… they don’t. They all look perfect the way they are. All girls look healthy and sexy, no matter what!”

“Tryin’ to get girls to like you more by sayin’ lies?” Engie asked.

“SHUT UP!” I yelled as I activated my hornsaber and smacked him in the back of the head. “BAD ENGIE! BAD!”

“Ah’m the jerk in the group, what can ah say?” Engie reminded me.

“So tell me about Pal here.” I requested.

“Well, Pal is 9 years old. He lives in the land of Flufflepuffs, where they came from, their home land, but after the war between them and the Naughty Freds, it’s just… it’s just been horrible for them.” Engie explained as he started to tear up. “Many flufflepuffs are homeless, and take mah word for it, their fur makes a comfy home. Many hairless flufflepuffs, and ah’ve been donatin’ ever since.”

“How long have you been donating?” I asked.

“Since the Naughty Freds attacked their homeland four years ago, ah’ve been donatin’ for four years. It takes a long time for a flufflepuff’s fur to grow back.” Engie said.

“How much have you been paying?” I asked.

“About two thousand bits per year.” Engie said.

“That’s heavy, brah. I’m so proud that you’d do something like that. Those poor flufflepuffs.” I shook my head and said.

“You know what, Flare? Ah am proud of mahself.” Engie nodded as he smiled. “Ah do very good deeds for the environment, and ah feel really good that ah’m savin’ lives, especially in Hearth’s Warmin’. Ah’m goin’ to donate 300 bits today to the Red Plus to send to the flufflepuff shelters. They’ll need all the help they could get.”

“I agree, brah.” I nodded in agreement. “You know what? Me too. I’m going to donate 500 bits!”

“Whoa, partner, this is mah thing. Don’t try to make me look bad.” Engie advised me.

“Alright, 450?” I asked.

“100.” Engie said.

“250.” I said.

“Alright deal.” Engie said.

“No wait, no deal. 250 and a cookie.” I said.

“What kind of cookie?” Engie asked.

“Chocolate-chocolate.” I said.

“That’s too much. Vanilla cookie.” Engie said.

“Oatmeal raisin.” I said.

“Deal.” Engie agreed. So we put our donations in envelopes and wrote down the address on the envelopes – 2991 Smith Blvd. 13319.

“Smith Blvd., huh?” I asked. “We talking about the Smith Blvd. here in Ponyville?”

“Ah have no idea, but judgin’ by the zip-code, ah think it’s in one of those towns near Manehatten.” Engie said. So after we sealed up our envelopes, and after I got a paper cut on my tongue from licking it, we placed our donations in Engie’s mailbox and our job was done.

“We did a good deed today, Engie.” I said.

“Eeyup!” Engie agreed. “We sure did!”

“This is going to be a great Hearth’s Warming! I could tell!” I said.

“Thanks for yer help, Flare. Ah feel much better about mahself. Ah guess ah could live without mah family for a while.” Engie nodded.

“Why can’t you see your family though, can you tell me please?” I asked.

“Not now, partner. There are things ah must keep secret.” Engie said.

“You must have a pretty big secret.” I said.

“It’s the biggest secret ever.” Engie said.

“Does it involve what’s in your team’s intelligence briefcase?” I asked.

“No, much more than that, but now is not the time.” Engie said.

“Alright.” I nodded. You’ll know much about Engie’s secret in a later story. Since I’m already five books ahead of you, I already know the secret, but you’re not knowing until later, so HA-HA!

The next day came, and I had to fulfill my duties as our town’s Santa Paws, so I went over to town hall and I sat down on my big Santa chair with the kiddies around town sitting on my lap, taking pictures with them, and they tell me what they want for Hearth’s Warming. I saw an elf nearby ringing a bell, which was actually Spike dressed like an elf and was ringing a bell. “Spike?!” I yelled.

“Don’t ask.” Spike said with an annoyed tone.

I started laughing. “This is too rich to ask!” I yelled in laughter. Spike just glared at me as I continued laughing. Had most of the kids in town come by! Pipsqueak, Featherweight, Berry Pinch, and lots of the other foals I don’t normally see were simple. Candy Cotton asked for lots of extreme stuff, Snips was squishing my thigh because he’s so fat, Snails didn’t ask for anything he was just eating cheese balls, Apple Bloom just wanted to be with her family which brought joy into my heart because… most of my family was still in Mareami, it makes me want to go and see them, brought tears to my eyes. Scootaloo knew it was I.

“Heh! You look funny, Flare!” Scoots laughed.

“Ho ho ho! What do you mean? I’m not Flare! I’m Santa Paws!” I said in a Santa voice.

“C’mon, you think anypony can believe this fake beard?” Scootaloo asked pulling my beard which was attached to a string around my face and she let go and it really hurt my face.

“Ow!” I shouted. After Scoots, Sweetie Belle was next. You know something? She kept saying what she wanted for 10 whole minutes! She got a whole list of junk she wanted Santa to get her. Does she think Santa’s made of money? Santa works hard getting all the kids what they wanted, every single year! I mean holy Wizard of Feelings, brah! Well then, it took a while, I kept saying excuses of trying to get Sweetie away, but Sweetie was actually the last filly in town that wanted to see Santa, but there was actually one more colt that needed to see me – Thunderlane’s brother Rumble.

“So Santa, is it true that you like to abuse your elves?” Rumble asked.

“HO HO HO! What makes you think that, Rumble?” I asked.

“I’ve seen videos online. You kept calling them kiddies, and you took them out on bottle runs and 99.999999% impossibles, and you keep forcing your elves to protect you with their nubile young bodies.” Rumble said.

“Aren’t you too young to be watching those videos?” I asked.

“Aren’t you too old?” Rumble asked.

“Good point.” I said.

“Well, Santa, I trust you.” Rumble smiled at me and said. “I made you a nice surprise treat when you come to our house Hearth’s Warming Eve. My address is 2993 Smith Blvd. 13319.”

“Why are you telling me your address? You can’t tell strangers your address.” I advised him. “You’ll get criminals in your house.”

“I trust you Santa. I’m giving you my address so you’d know it was me that gave you this treat.” Rumble said.

“Wait a minute; did you say Smith Blvd. 13319?” I asked.

“Yep!” Rumble said.

“Ok! I’ll come by your house then a little early because if I eat your treats now, I’d be less full when I eat other kiddy’s treats during Hearth’s Warming Eve.” I suggested, and SHUT UP! I don’t mean it like that! This is NOT that kind of story! Oh… you didn’t think that? I just made you think that now? I apologize, I always assume.

“Sounds like a plan, Santa! I’ll see you tonight!” Rumble nodded as he hoped off my lap and headed back home. Rumble was the last kid that wanted to see me, so it’s a good thing my shift is finally over. I put on mistletoe and almost left in a hurry. I couldn’t have my mistletoe on with the kiddies because… that would look weird. I had finally gotten my chance to get out of there, but it was ruined when Rarity came.

“My darling Santa Paws!” Rarity said in excitement.

“Hey Rarity! Ho ho ho! I got stuff to do right now, what is it?” I asked.

“I just need your help for a few little minutes.” Rarity said.

“C’mon sista!” I whined. “Rumble’s giving me treats, and-“

“Please, dear? It’ll only take five minutes! Just five minutes!” Rarity begged. I rolled my eyes.

“Alright, Rare. Five minutes.” I said.

“Yay!” Rarity cheered and clapped her hooves. “What you need to do is simple, just stand over here, hold this sign around you, and ring this bell.” Rarity instructed me as she gave me sign that has to do with a Hearth’s Warming sale, and she gave me a bell to ring.

“Can’t cha get Spike to do it?” I asked.

“Spike’s already helping me make a dress!” Rarity said, pointing to Spike who’s wearing a dress with needles on it.

I grabbed the bell with my mouth. “I’ll only do it for five minutes.” I said, but with the bell in my mouth, it sounded like I said; “I’ll only oo eh por pive miness”

“You’re a great stallion, Santa! Thank you very much!” Rarity said, giving me a kiss on the cheek, since I had a mistletoe on. Rarity walked inside town hall, so I stood there ringing the bell for 8 minutes, since I lost track of the time; there were 3 extra minutes I was there for. I was just about to leave when Rarity stopped me. “Wait, Santa!”

“What is it, Rare?” I asked with an annoying tone.

“Can’t cha stay a little longer? There’s a celebrity in town!” Rarity said excitedly.

“Unless it’s Mike Myers, I’m not interested! Rumble is giving me treats! I’ll handle your problems later. So HO HO HO! Santa Paws is coming to the rescue!” I said as I trotted away. Eventually, Mike Myers trotted by, passing right byRarity’s shop, having an interview with a couple of journalists. Rarity then facehooved herself.

So I went over to Rumble’s house (actually it was a trailer, I was at a trailer park, and none of these trailers looked as awesome as mine) so I get my treats, but when I got there, I was threatened by Thunderlane because he thought I was a robber. I mean, he does have a point though. Robbers wearing Santa outfits and breaking into pony’s homes and steal everything, so I wasn’t surprised. Oh well, I didn’t care that much for the treat anyway. I thought it was going to be cookies, but it was actually devilled eggs that’s been sitting out for a week.

As I was about to walk home, I saw a pony next door cheering in excitement after getting her mail. “HA! We got another donation, Mary!”

“Really? Wow, Mona, there are some fools out there that would believe anything, huh?” another voice asked from inside the house.

“And I think I smell oatmeal raisin in this envelope!” Mona (the first mare) said excitedly. At first I didn’t know what she was talking about, but after she said ‘oatmeal raisin’, I knew something was wrong. THAT was my donation to the Red Plus! What was it doing at that house? I saw up on the roof and there was a giant plus sign on top of the house. I guess that explains it. I couldn’t believe at all though. Those mares have Engie and mine’s donations! We were just scammed!

I had to let Engie know about this so I went over to his house and knocked on his door, the same exact way as I always do. “Howdy, Flare!” Engie said excitedly as he opens the door.

“Engie, we need to talk.” I said. So Engie lets me inside and pours me some hot egg nog. I didn’t like it that much though. I prefer dairy stuff cold.

“So Flare, how was havin’ kiddies sittin’ on yer lap go today?” Engie asked.

“Felt good!” I said.

“Yer sick.” Engie teased.

“Better give me an aspirin then.” I teased back.

“So what did you want to tell me?” Engie asked.

“About the donations we gave to Red Plus to help those fluffleponies.” I said.

“Ah know, it DID feel good to do somethin’ right, isn’t it Flare?” Engie asked.

“It does, I agree!” I nodded. “But there’s something else you might need to know about it.”

“Ah mean, ah felt so alive when ah helped those poor ponies.” Engie said. “It made me think that nothin’ can go wrong! Ah know ah’ll see mah family again, but in the meantime, ah can help do good, and… if ah didn’t feel good by doin’ somethin’ right, ah’d feel like a failure again, y’know?”

“I know, brah, but there’s-“ I stopped before I could continue. At last, I was finally thinking before I was saying. I can’t tell Engie that we were scammed; he’ll be heartbroken. The whole reason he’s not miserable anymore is because I helped him see that donating to those in need makes you feel good inside, but if I tell him it was just a scam, it’ll do undo everything. Oh wait, I kinda just repeated myself there.

“Flare, if ah didn’t have this, ah’d be sadder than a bully.” Engie said.

Wow, ruin with the touching moment with a cutaway gag. Ok then, if somepony starts a cutaway gag, I have no choice but to explain it. The gag shows a couple of ponies walking around the streets of Ponyville. One was carrying a cup of coffee. Just then, a big bad pony showed up and glared at them. “Oh look, it’s Gerald the Jerk.” One of the ponies said to the big pony.

Just then the big pony takes the cup of coffee that pony was carrying and splashes it on his face, and then he grabs the other pony’s tail and ties it to a light pole. “UGH! Why does he have to be such a jerk!?” one of the victums yelled.

Just as Gerald walked away, he started to tear up, and then he mumbled to himself, “I don’t want anypony to cry when I die.” Wow, that wasn’t a cutaway gag; that was a cutaway tragedy. If only I knew some of my bullies felt that way. Regardless, it ends there.

“There’s nothin’ wrong about me donatin’ is it?” Engie asked.

I couldn’t bear to tell him. It’s what’s keeping him happy right now. “No… there isn’t.” I lied. “SHUT UP, NARRATOR!”

“Good.” Engie nodded. “So anyways, enough of this sappy talk. How about we go get some ciders?” After today, maybe a nice delicious cider is just what I need. So the two of us joined the rest of the Noble Six over there and we talked.

“So I went to the souvenir store today, right?” Blaze started.

“Why are you asking us? How are we supposed to know?” Crystal asked.

“Anyways, I was looking for cups; one that says ‘World’s Greatest Wife’, one that says ‘World’s Greatest Mom’, and then another that says ‘World’s Greatest Sister In-Law’.” Blaze said.

“Well… that’s nice.” Aqua said.

“I thought so too, at first, but the in-law one had spikes on the edges, and the store clerk asked if I wanted poison to go with it.” Blaze said.

“Nopony likes their in-laws, Blaze.” Psyche said.

“I need a jelly-baby. Got any to offer?” Blaze asked.

“What am I, a storage bin? I don’t carry them ALL the time.” Psyche reminded him.

“So, did any of you hear the good Flare and ah did earlier today?” Engie asked.

“Yes we did, a bunch of times already.” Aqua reminded him.

“Well ah’ll say it again just because ah like talkin’ about it, and ah don’t care how annoyed you get.” Engie said.

“Hey Flare!” Crèmepop yelled as she popped out of nowhere, standing under my mistiletoe. “Didn’t you forget something?”

“Did I forget to give you your candy cane before when you were sitting on my lap?” I asked.

“No, not that.” Crème said.

“My Hearth’s Warming shopping?” I asked. “OH CRUD! I forgot about that! Hearth’s Warming is in three days!”

“No, my kiss!” Crème shouted.

“Oh, that’s right!” I remembered, bopping myself in the head. “I could’ve had a V8!” So I leaned over about to give her a kiss, but then Engie popped up right in the middle.

“Nice man-smooch, Flare!” Engie said. “Also, ah have to use the bathroom, so y’all can talk about mah Hearth’s Warming presents in secret as ah go.” Engie steps out of the booth and heads over to the restroom to take care of business.

“RRRRRRAAAAAAAAH!” Crème yelled in frustration as she stomped away.

“Engie’s been in an excited mood lately.” Psyche said.

“Well I’m glad he walked out, because I need to talk to you four.” I said.

“Well I got him one of those metal overalls that has a big amount of storage in it, and its magic-proof!” Crystal said. “But it’s not known for its comforted unfortunately.”

“No that’s not what I was going to talk about.” I said.

“What seems to be the problem, mate?” Aqua asked.

“What makes you think it’s a problem, Aqua?” Crystal asked.

“Just by the sound of his tone.” Aqua said.

“He could just sound tired, you don’t know that. Flare, are you tired?” Crystal asked me.

“Kinda from the long day of being Santa.” I said.

“See? I was right!” Crystal said.

“But I’m still upset though.” I said.

“Wow Aqua, we were BOTH right! That’s a first!” Crystal said excitedly.

“What happened, man?” Blaze asked.

“Well… Engie thinks we donated to the Red Plus foundation.” I said.

“It turned out to be a scam, right?” Psyche asked.

“WOW! Thanks for ruining my story, Psyche! I wanted to be the one to explain it!” I complained.

“Whoa, sorry! It was just a guess!” Psyche defended himself.

“Psyche, you’re smart and hot, but you don’t need to rub your nose in it.” I advised him.

“Well since you said I’m smart and hot, I’ll let that slide.” Psyche said.

“You’ve been calling Psyche hot many times lately, are you attracted to him?” Crystal asked me.

“Look, my point is, we were scammed by a couple of trailer park queens. They’ve been ripping off Engie for a long time. I tried to tell Engie, but I couldn’t take this away from him. Donating to help a cause is the only thing making him happy right now. I can’t take this away from him.” I explained.

Crystal leaned over and whispered to Aqua and Blaze, “Yeah, he didn’t answer my question. He’s TOTALLY attracted to Psyche and not admitting it!” she starts chuckling.

“Well, Flare, I must congratulate ya on doing the right thing.” Aqua said.

“I wouldn’t so sure of that, Aqua. If Flare doesn’t tell him, would Engie just keep donating blindly?” Blaze asked.

“See? That’s my problem. I don’t know what to do.” I said.

“Perhaps we should pay a visit to those trailer park queens.” Crystal suggested.

I nodded. “Good idea, Crystal. I don’t want Engie to be hurt on lies, but I don’t want Engie to throw his money away, so maybe the best thing we should do is deal with those trailer park queens.” I said.

“Uhh yeah, that’s what I TOTALLY meant!” Crystal chuckled.

“Alright, but we’ll need a plan though.” Psyche said.

“Right, so how about we walk in, take all the money the queens keep taking and keep it for ourselves?” Crystal suggested.

“What?” I asked.

“I mean give it back to Engie.” Crystal corrected herself.

“As much as I’m tempted for either of those ideas, I think it’s going to take more than that; I think we should talk to them first, and if not, teach them a lesson.” I suggested.

“I guess that plans might work as any other.” Aqua shrugged. “I just hope that plans work better than the time Engie tried to hide the fact that he said a fat joke to ya sister.”

A cutaway shows my sister Water going over to Engie wearing a black and white dress. “Hey Engie! Can you do me a favor?” she asked.

“What do you need?” Engie asked.

“I got this new dress today and I want you tell me if it looks fat.” Water requested.

“You look a lot like a giant oreo. Ah outta call you double-stuff.” Engie teased.

“Is that supposed to be a fat joke?” Water asked insultingly.

“AND a cookie joke!” Engie said excitedly.

Water glares at him. “You better call for an adult, Engie.” The cutaway ends.

“Yeah OF COURSE you would make a cutaway of my sister, Aqua!” I yelled.

“What’s so wrong with that?” Aqua asked. So the five of us headed over to the trailer park to check out those scammers. Now I gotta say, I didn’t know there was a trailer park in Ponyville. Well… there isn’t. There’s just a small trailer park out in the countryside. Smith Blvd. connects to that area though, so that’s why it’s still Smith Blvd. The five of us went up to the door and one of us knocked on it. I won’t say who though, that is for you to find out. Winky face.

The trailer pony by the name of Mary opens the door and glares at us. “What do you want?” Mary was pink and was pretty…. Umm…. a bit on the heavy side. NO! Not fat! I told you already, femares aren’t fat! Also one of Mary’s eyes was closed, she had a big mole on her right cheek, she wore a white T-shirt with the bottom knotted up, and she had an anchor for a cutie mark. Yeah I know, she might be the daughter of Popeye. “Well? Are any of you going to ask what you’re doing on MY property?”

“Mommy who’s out there?” a young colt asked.

“Complete strangers. Don’t talk to them, honey.” Mary advised her child.

“Yeah hi, we’re here to talk to you on behalf of… Red Plus.” Aqua said.

“Yeah? Willin’ to donate?” Mary asked.

“Perhaps you can say that.” Aqua said.

“What are you talking about, Aqua? NO WE’RE NOT! We’re trying to Engie’s money back and asking them to stop scamming!” Crystal corrected him.

“Scamming? What are you talking about?” Mary asked.

“This scamming ideal is wrong. My friend donated to you, hoping to help out a poor little flufflepony by the name of Pal, but after we found out the truth, we need you to stop doing that.” I said.

“Fluffleponies? I do not know what you mean. Now please get off my property or I’ll call the cops.” Mary warned us.

“We wanna know why you’re doing this, and we want you to stop, for our friend’s sake!” Blaze said.

“You’re really not going to leave me alone, are you?” Mary asked.

“Not until you stop scamming. It’s against the law.” Psyche said.

“Well then… if you’re going to mess with me, you’re going to mess with the entire neighborhood.” Mary said as she blew the red whistle that was on her neck. The entire trailer park slammed open their doors and they all started coming out of their trailers and walking towards us angrily. Some of them had baseball bats, pitchforks, machetes, and one even had a paddleball. Crystal’s REALLY weak against those things!

“Not a paddle ball!” Crystal begged.

“Mary, who are these strangers and what are they doing on our land?” a skinny blue pony asked.

“These ponies, Mona, are trying to get me to admit that I scammed their friend.” Mary said.

“So you DID do it!” Psyche busted her.

“Uhh… perhaps I said too much.” Mary said nervously.

“Yep, cause that’s you in the corner, and that’s you in the spotlight.” I teased.

“What?” Mary asked.

“You gosh dern strangers get off our properties!” a redneck stallion demanded us. “We ain’t got nothin’ to prove!”

“Yeah, so why don’t you all hit the road before we knock your teeth out?” a pony that seems really familiar threatened us.

“Lord Thorn?! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“How do you know who I am?” Lord Thorn asked. “Wait a minute… WAIT A MINUTE! I know you! You, that blue pony, and that engineer were the ones that ruined my career! Where is that sucker anyway?”

“Engie is the one Mary here is scamming.” Psyche said.

“Well good! He deserves it!” Lord Thorn yelled.

“Yeah, and not to mention you three were the reasons we’re all broke!” Mary said.

“Broke?” Aqua asked.

“YEAH! None of us have any experience in the field of careers, and we all look so ugly that none will hire us, so the only thing left to do is scam ponies! Lord Thorn here was the only decent looking one in our clan, so he had to sell some fake movie props to nerds around Equestria to help us all make a living!” Mary explained.

“That’s why Mary had to create a fake Red Plus association to rip ponies off into thinking they’re donating to the needy.” Lord Thorn said.

“But we are needy ponies, Trevor. We need money to live, and I need money for spittin’ stuff.” Mona said as she spits inside a pot next to her.

“Exactly! That is what I meant.” Lord Thorn said.

“No you didn’t, don’t lie, Thorn!” Mona demanded.

“So if anypony here is to blame for this, it’s you!” Mary said.

“But money isn’t a problem anymore. Thanks to your friend Engie. We have more money than we need!” Lord Thorn said. “Mary got that ironing board she always wanted. Her kids got mountain dirt bikes, I got my pendant back that I had to sell for food, and even Mona here has that spitting pot she always wanted.”

“I had to spit in a paper bag originally.” Mona said as she spit in the pot again.

“But just because you got all this money doesn’t make it right!” I said.

“What do you know about what’s right or wrong? We’re tryin’ to make a livin’. You can’t accept that? We’ll have no choice but to teach ya lesson.” Mary said. All the trailer park ponies began to glare at us and they looked like they were about to beat us up. We had no time for this so we all ran away like the cowards we are.

“Oh shut up, I’m not a coward!” Blaze yelled. “I’m only doing this cause we had no time to fight. I’m no coward!”

“I dunno, Blaze. That paddle ball looked pretty lethal.” Crystal said.

“Yeah let’s not say anything we might regret Blaze, we are cowards.” Psyche said. So we got outta there in a hurry. Just making our way downtown… walking fast, faces passed and we’re homebound. We headed over to my trailer and hid there since anypony (that’s not Swinebutt) would be able to come inside. Aqua sat down on my couch to catch his breath after all that running we did.

“I can’t believe we made it out.” Aqua said in relief.

“I don’t care if you believe it or not, you’re in my spot.” I pointed out to Aqua. He scotched over so I can sit down on it and catch my breath as well.

“Wow, I DID NOT expect Lord Thorn to be in on it!” Crystal said.

“Who’s Lord Thorn?” Aqua asked.

“He’s a travelling… well… he used to be a travelling merchant selling fake movie props to nerds around Equestria. Crystal, Engie, and I caught him in the act and we put him out of business.” I explained.

“So we’re now messing with an illegal operation now, are we?” Blaze asked.

“It would appear so. We have to think of something.” Aqua said.

“We should tell Engie the truth, man. There’s no stopping this gang.” Blaze said.

“I AM NOT going to break Engie’s heart because of a bunch of scammers!” I said. “We have to find another way to do this.”

“Why don’t we just take the money out of Engie’s mailbox after he puts it in?” Crystal asked.

“No, he’s got his whole house, including his mailbox under surveillance. We can’t do it without being caught.” Psyche said.

“How about we make him change the address?” Aqua asked.

“No… this isn’t just about Engie anymore, brahs. There’s an illegal operation going on near Ponyville, and we need to stop it.” I said.

“And how do ya propose we do that?” Aqua asked.

“Whoa! Who said anything about proposing?” I asked. “None of us are getting married.”

“That’s not what I said.” Aqua corrected me.

“Yeah you did.” I corrected him.

“Whatever. I’m just asking, what’s ya plan?” Aqua asked.

“We should- wait… WATER ARE YOU HOME?!” I yelled. There was no response. “Oh good, I didn’t want her to hear this. If we’re going to take down the scammers we should try to fight fire with fire.”

“You mean like putting out a fire with gasoline?” Crystal asked.

“I’m not sure if you’re saying that literally or trying to make a metaphor.” I said.

“Why not both?” Crystal asked.

“Good point.” I nodded. “Anyways, if we’re going to take out these scammers, the best way to do that is if we scam them back.”

“So we’re going to scam the scammers, huh?” Blaze asked.

“I KNEW SOMEPONY WAS GOING TO SAY THAT!” Psyche yelled as he slammed on my coffee table.

“Hey careful with my coffee table, Psyche.” I advised him. “Anyways… we need to think of a plan to scam them back.”

“Scam them with what?” Aqua asked.

“Think about it! What do greedy ol trailer ponies want the most?” I asked.

“A pot to put their spit in?” Crystal asked.

“One of them has those already.” Psyche reminded her.

“Metal overalls, like the ones I was going to give Engie for Hearth’s Warming?” Crystal asked.

“And of course I keep forgetting to do my shopping.” I complained.

“Snap, Flare! Don’t wait till the last minute!” Crystal advised me.

“Yeah thanks for the advice, Crystal.” I said sarcastically.

“Vice… he said vice. Vice City.” Crystal said.

“Any other ideas?” I asked.

“How about we trick them into buying a lifetime supply of bubble gum with the money?” Crystal asked.

“Rednecks have rotten teeth though.” Aqua reminded her.

“Don’t be stereotypical, Aqua! Not all rednecks are like that!” Crystal informed him.

“And not all rednecks live in trailers.” Blaze said. “But all who live in trailers are rednecks.” I then glared at Blaze after that statement. “I was joking, man!”

“Yeah if you’re gonna joke around at least make a cutaway gag about my sister.” I advised him.

“Well…” Aqua started.

“Not you, Aqua.” I added.

“Oh.” Aqua said upsettingly.

“C’mon brahs, think of ideas! We need to scam these ponies back! It’s the only way we can teach them a lesson!” I said.

“How about my lifetime supply of bubble gum idea?” Crystal asked.

“Ok… since nopony can think of anything else, we’ll go with your idea, Crystal.” I said.

“Are you sure?” Psyche asked. “Because I thought of a brilliant idea of credit frauding. I sell them a sports carriage and trick them out of every bit they have. When I tell them it’s not enough, they’ll need to find more money; afterwards, we’ll sneak into the trailer park and take the carriage back, pretend it’s a repo job, and then we give Engie back the money and give him a new address to the real Red Plus foundation.”

“And how do we get a sports carriage?” Aqua asked.

“What about Fonz’s? Do you still have that, Flare?” Blaze asked.

“No I still have this Flare.” I teased. “Ha! I’m joking, yeah I got it, but I was going to sell it anyway. That’s a good idea, Psyche! That way we can teach that gang a lesson from scamming and be able to make Engie proud of himself and he’ll actually be doing a favor for our world by donating to actual ponies in need.”

“Yeah I also looked online, and there was no Naughty Fred war with the fluffleponies. Their homeland is fine.” Psyche said.

“Well good! So tomorrow morning I’ll get my sports carriage out of my lockup and you can scam the scammers.” I said.

“Ok somepony saying that phrase a second time, I didn’t expect that.” Psyche said.

“Actually… I already sold a lifetime supply of gum to Trevor from the trailer park online. Our deed is already done.” Crystal said. “We have around 150,000 bits to give to Engie. We did it!”

“Oh.” I said upsettingly. “I mean I really liked that credit fraud idea! That sounded pretty fun!”

“Are ya sure we’re setting a good example by scamming the scammers?” Aqua asked.

“Third time’s the charm, huh?” Psyche asked. I must say, Aqua did have a point there. For what it’s worth, we actually did to the scammers what they did to us. Is scamming them back a good example? If we’re to teach them a lesson, we should actually show them how to make money the right way. Scamming them back… wouldn’t they just continue what they’re doing?

“You’re right, Aqua.” I agreed. “We can’t scam them back. The only way we could teach these trailer park ponies a lesson is if we settle a good example for them. We need to actually give them that bubble gum they want.”

“That was the plan the whole time, wasn’t it?” Crystal asked.

“I thought your plan was to trick them into buying a lifetime supply of gum?” I asked.

“No I was actually going to give it to them. Thundy and I have been saving gum for ages in our basement.” Crystal said.

“Well in that case, let’s give them what we owe them! We’ll be fair enough, and the scammers might learn a thing or two from our brilliant example!” I nodded.

“Can ya feel the holiday cheer in the air, mates?” Aqua asked.

“We sure can, Aqua.” Psyche nodded.

“Are you sure? Because I thought it was carbon dioxide in the air.” I teased.

“No that’s holiday cheer, my friend.” Psyche corrected me as he smiled.

“Oh… no wonder I couldn’t breathe.” I said as I started choking and then I collapsed on the floor. We need carbon dioxide to live! Holiday cheer may bring happiness, but it being in the air is too deadly.

“HA! Got you, Flare! I heard your whole conversation!” Water teased as she popped her head out from the holiday. “Now I have to be a part of it!” Wow, what a terrible sister. Not only did she lie to me, but also I was dying of lack of breath, and she couldn’t even call for an ambulance. Thanks a lot, Water!

The next day over at Crystal’s house, we picked up the supply of gum, and we used Fonz’s sports carriage to carry it all. “Thundy’s gonna kill me when he finds out about this.” Crystal said.

“If you’re afraid he’s going to kill you, then you should go into the Witness Protection Program.” I suggested.

“WHERE?!” Engie freaked out.

“Engie? What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Ah get a better question: what have y’all been doin’ without me?” Engie asked. The five of us looked at eachother awkwardly, not knowing what to say next.

“FLARE, WAIT!” Crème yelled out, running towards me, and just in time too.

“Crèmepop! You couldn’ve come at a better time!” I said in relief.

“Well Flare you still owe me something.” Crème reminded me.

“Oh, we still need kissy kissy!” I said.

“Exactly!” Crème said, holding her cheek out.

“Hang on a sec, Crème. DOES ANYPONY WANT ANY MAN-SMOOCHES!? TELL ME NOW, SO YOU DON’T INTERUPT MINE!” I yelled out to anypony who could hear me. “Any man-smooches? Huh? Any at all? Any takers?” All my friends just looked at each other weirdly, and some shook their heads. “Alright then!” So I leaned over to give Crème a kiss, but then Crystal popped out and placed a frying pan between us, and I kissed it.

“HA! Nice PAN-smooch, Flare!” Crystal teased as she started laughing.

“GROANS!” I yelled out.

“Yeah you’re telling me, Flare! UGH!” Crème groaned as she angrily stomped away.

“Why does she keep marching away? You two can try kissing again until there’s no more interruptions. Is that so hard?” Psyche asked.

“Alright Psyche, you know what? Just… I dunno, let’s just go.” I said in an annoyed tone. So we all continued heading over to the trailer park with the bubble gum, but since I was still wearing my Santa outfit, I decided to improvise this. So I connected all my friends on the sports carriage, made them put on elf outfits and I hopped onto the sports carriage and started whipping them all, forcing them to pull the carriage.

“D’ALRIGHT YOU KIDDIES!” I yelled. “WE GONNA DO A BOTTLE RUN! PROTECT ME WITH YOUR NUBLILE YOUNG BODIES!”

“Why did we agree to do this?” Aqua complained.

Blaze sighs and said, “I have NO clue whatsoever!”

“I dunno why I eavesdropped on you and said I had to come along.” Water complained.

“Where are we goin’ anyway?” Engie asked.

“To a trailer park to drop off a life-time supply of gum.” Aqua said.

“Pssst, Flare?” Psyche whispered. “Are you sure it was a good idea for Engie to come along?”

“I have no clue, but I don’t want him to be suspicious.” I whispered back. “Also, shut up, Psyche.”

“Whoa there!” Water cried as we approached the trailer park. One of the trailers in the park was burning up, and as I expected, it was Mary’s trailer.

“Good grief.” Mary said in grief as her child was crying on her leg.

“What happened here?” Blaze asked.

“Mary left her iron on when she came to visit me.” Mona said.

“SHUT UP, MONA! It’s none of their business! Get outta here!” Mary demanded.

“Well, actually, we’re here to give Trevor here his lifetime supply of gum he ordered.” Crystal said.

“YAY! It’s here!” Trevor cried in excitement as he takes one of the gums and begins chewing it. “Ow… ow… ow… ow…” as he was chewing, two of his rotten teeth fell out. Ok I guess Blaze did have a point there of all ponies that live in trailers are rednecks.

“Red Engineer… long time no see.” Lord Thorn said.

“Lord Thorn?” Engie asked. “Flare what’s goin’ on? What’s the real reason we’re here?”

“To scam us all.” Lord Thorn said.

“What? No we’re not!” Blaze complained.

“Yeah, we bought Trevor here the gum as he ordered.” Crystal said.

“Trevor’s an idiot, and you knew that well. You scammed us to get your money back! I know all those tricks, friend!” Lord Thorn yelled at me.

“Why are you just yelling at me? It was Crystal’s idea.” I informed him.

“Flare, what’s goin’ on here?” Engie asked. It’s no use. I was busted. So I had to explain everything to him, and so I did. “Really now? Is that a fact?” he asked upsettingly.

“You didn’t even let me talk.” I reminded him. “Anyways… Pal doesn’t exist. All those donations you gave out… you were scammed, brah. You were giving your money to a couple of low-lives living a life of tricking ponies to give away all their money.”

“Really now? Is that a fact?” Engie asked again.

“I’m sorry, man. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t want you to feel heartbroken.” I admitted. “Donating made you happy and since you couldn’t go back home to do Hearth’s Warming with your family, I had to keep you happy somehow.”

Engie looked down to the ground in silence for a moment. “So ah’ve been givin’ money away for nothin’, huh?” he asked.

“That’s basically what I’m saying, yeah, go ahead and repeat everything I said.” I said. Psyche, Blaze, and Aqua all glared at me. “Don’t gimmie that look! I have to be a jerk once in a while!”

“Well… congratulations. You have your money back.” Mary said upsettingly. “Next time… I won’t trust Trevor in keeping our money safe.”

“Is this karma punishing us, mommy?” Mary’s kid asked with tears in his eyes.

“No, baby. Karma is punishing me. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was being a bad influence by scamming these poor pony folk.” Mary explained sadly.

“Scamming poor pony folk? Aren’t you the poor ones and we’re the wealthy ones?” Crystal asked. We all then glared at Crystal.

“Yay! Now I’m not the only jerk!” I cried in excitement.

“Actually… Mary, right?” Engie asked.

“I’m Mona.” Mona corrected him.

“Mah bad.” Engie said as he looked over at Mary. “Mary… ah know what you did was wrong, and ah should turn you in to the authories.”

“Please don’t. I have a kid.” Mary begged. “I can’t leave them with these losers! Mona spends her day spitting.” Mona then spits in her pot. “Trevor’s a moron, and Lord Thorn… well… he has a shifty look in his eyes, and I don’t trust it that much.”

“Wow… telling me that now, yo.” Lord Thorn complained.

“But ah won’t.” Engie said. “This is Hearth’s Warming, and ah can’t just stand by and see a family fall apart over a scamming scheme. Ah mean, you didn’t hurt anypony.”

“I scraped my knee a bit while running out of the trailer.” Mary’s kid informed him.

“Well… regardless… what ah have been doin’ all this time was to help out a poor homeless kid.” Engie said. “Maybe it’s about time ah really did it.” Engie takes out a check for 50,000 bits and gives it to Mary.

Mary was very surprised. “Wow… you’d do that for us? After we’ve been stealing your money, you’d give me more… just to rebuild my life?”

“What kind of individual would ah be if ah didn’t help teach criminals a lesson the right way?” Engie asked. “Ah mean… it doesn’t always work to those who are stubborn and greedy, but to those who are desperate, might just have a chance, and you know what? Ah’ll help you all get on yer hooves, and help you get a real job. That way, no more scammin’! You’d actually earn yer money!”

“That doesn’t seem like a…” Mona spits in her pot, “… bad idea.”

“I agree.” Mary said.

“Ah should be a dentist!” Trevor cried in excitement.

“Thank you, Red Engineer… for everything.” Mary said as she started crying tears of joy and started hugging him real tight.

“Ok… this is too tight. Yer gettin’ armpit sweat on me.” Engie informed her.

“Wow… can’t ya all feel that holiday cheer in the air?” Aqua asked us with a smile on his face. My friends all nodded in agreement, and I started choking again and passed out.

“UGH!” Lord Thorn groaned. “These rednecks don’t have any guts! I don’t scam because I’m poor; I scam to take risks! Makes me feel alive! I’m outta here!” Lord Thorn attaches himself to his trailer and trots off to the horizon. Well, we didn’t teach Lord Thorn a lesson, but we did reform a couple of trailer park ponies. You see, the true meaning of Hearth’s Warming is to give. I know this might not make sense to give those who gave you harm in the past, but Engie had a very good reason to give Mary the money. I mean, he’s loaded. Don’t help out ponies that way if you’re poor yourself, but you might be able to help them out a different way, but you get my point, or I hope so at least.

Well, it’s all over now. Hearth’s Warming is saved! Counting that Hearth’s Warming wasn’t at risk in the first place, but Engie’s money is saved and we taught the trailer park ponies a lesson, and that’s what really matters! Later that day, we all took the train over to Canterlot for our Hearth’s Warming play. It was actually Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I was playing Santa of course, Fluttershy was Rudolph, Sam the Snowpony was played as Spike, Dasher was played by Rainbow Dash (as expected since the names are similar), Woodenshy was Dancer, Spark Note was Prancer, Mynx was Vixen, Psyche was Comet, Crystal was Cupid, Blaze was Donner, Black Thunder was Blitzen, Twilight was the Elf Foreman, Pinkie was Mrs. Claus, Engie was the Abominable Snowpony, AppleJack was Clarice, and were there other characters I left out? Well, I can’t record the whole play, but if you seen the movies or read the books, I think you’d know how it would turn out.

“Well, Flare! Ah gotta say, that was some fine rehearsal!” Engie said excitedly.

“Glad you liked it! The play’s tomorrow! Tomorrow is Hearth’s Warming Eve!” I said excitedly.

“Flare Gun! Red Engineer!” Luna said, trotting towards us.

“What’s up, Moon?” I asked.

“Nothing. I was just checking up on you guys! Fantastic job on the play, by the way! “Luna said.

“Thanks! It was really fun!” I said.

“I heard Engineer here learned a valuable lesson this week. Didn’t you Red?” Luna asked.

“Eeyup!” Engie said. “Flare and the others taught me somethin’!”

“Which was…” Luna waited.

“You think ah remember?” Engie asked. “It’s already hard enough rememberin’ this script.”

“I learned something too!” I said, and then I burped.

“Well…. What is it?” Luna asked.

“That’s it!” I said.

“The burp?” Luna asked.

“Yeah the burp.” I said.

“So what are you doin’ for Hearth’s Warming, Luna?” Engie asked.

“Just going to stay here in the castle with Celestia.” Luna said.

“Shoot! You should come with us, Luna!” Engie suggested.

“Oh.... I couldn’t!” Luna blushed.

“C’mon! Ya’ve been alone for so long in Hearth’s Warmin’, it’s the least we could do!” Engie smiled.

“Thank you, Engineer!” Luna said.

“Well we better get to the inn before Pinkie eats all the Gingerbread houses in town…. Again!” AppleJack suggested.

“I agree! Let’s go!” I said. So the next day we did the play, and then we headed back home just in time for Hearth’s Warming day itself.

The next day came, Twilight was fast asleep on her bed. Spike started jumping on her bed saying; “It’s Hearth’s Warming, Twilight! Wake up! Its Hearth’s Warming! C’MON! WAKE UP!” Twilight yawned and half-opened her eyes.

“Sweet Celestia, Spike! Usually I’m the one who wakes you up, and you go back to sleep!” Twilight said, slowly stepping out of bed.

“Well, I don’t get presents those days!” Spike reminded her.

“Good point! Merry Hearth’s Warming, Spike!” Twilight said, hugging him.

“Merry Hearth’s Warming, Twilight!” Spike said. They both ran downstairs, and set everything up for when the guests come, since Hearth’s Warming is taking place at her house.

Before Spike could get the punch done, the guests have already arrived. The Apple family came first, followed by Pinkie and the Cakes, Aqua and Wind Racer, Blaze with Rainbow Dash and Candy Cotton, Fluttershy, Psyche, Water and I, Engineer, Rarity along with Sweetie Belle and Scoots, Crystal with Thunder, and Crèmepop. You may know why the Mane Six were there because of course they’d have Hearth’s Warming together, but we were there because Blaze had to be with Rainbow Dash, and we wanted to be with Blaze, so it was kinda crowded in there. Each of us had presents to give to one another.

Pinkie got a 3DS for Psyche, it’s pretty much what he always wanted; it was a lot better than the present I got him. It was a deed to one of the stars beyond the Galaxy. How did I buy it? I didn’t. I just gave him a piece of paper with the word ‘Deed to one of the stars beyond the Galaxy’ on it.

Crystal said when she came in that her favorite Hearth’s Warming activity is when the Ground Hog sees it’s shadow. Her foster-mom used to let her go outside by herself when her personal coach came over. None of us had the heart to tell her that it’s the wrong holiday for that because Aqua said it might cause more problems than solve them. Twilight asked Big Mac if he wanted a slice of her fruitcake that she was making in the oven, she kept saying he should try a little nibble, but all Big Mac did was stare at her weirdly. Twilight didn’t know what he was thinking about. She thinks she said something wrong.

I got Spike a new XBUCKS 360 so he doesn’t have to keep borrowing mine, but he was unaware that he keeps getting a red-ring. Blaze suggested that he should play a game. Take a gem from him every time he gets the red-ring of death. Spike accepted the challenge but kept losing, but he just doesn’t have the guts to give up!

Rainbow Dash wanted to really impress Spitfire, so Scootaloo got her this detergent to make her Wonderbolt cadet clothes smell like the exotic flyer she is. Candy Cotton kept complaining about a weird smell, like somepony jumps in the dumpster behind Boorlie’s BBQ, but Rainbow kept whispering that it was Engie that did it.

Aqua doesn’t know much about the video games since he’s from a village where it had 1700s technology, so Engie got him his old Windows 2000 PC. He doesn’t know much about it, but Engie gave it to him because Windows 2000 is like the worst type there is. He hasn’t tried any other types, so he won’t be complaining much.

Twilight gave Fluttershy this awesome book: Better Owner, Better Mare. It’ll help her bond to her animals more. It’s really funny because when Fluttershy tried that stuff on Angel; she had to do skateboarding stunts with him. Fluttershy was really afraid, but Thunder was there to help her out.

Speaking of Twilight giving books, all that she gave us was books, books, books! I suggested behind Twilight’s back that we should roast marshmallows later with all the books! We all chuckled and agreed, but Pinkie and Crystal was thinking of something else; they thought actually eating marshmallows along with the books.

Later on we were singing Hearth’s Warming songs, but Pinkie suggested a different type of style: Polka style! What Pinkie did there… it made me sad. I could’ve swarn Pinkie was going to give me a new accordion, but nope she didn’t. Nopony gave me a new accordion; it’s what I’ve been wanting throughout the time Water was in town. Speaking of Water, I tried to get Water and Aqua under my mistletoe but they both just kept blushing and avoided it, but I should stop with that because I accidently put Blaze and AppleJack together.

“Oh… umm… yeah this is awkward, sugarcube.” AppleJack blushed.

“NO! NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!” Blaze freaked out.

“Wow… you didn’t need to make it a big deal ‘bout it, Blaze.” AppleJack complained in an insulted tone.

We had fun for the rest of the time there together! We were using our gifts, chatting, playing in the snow outside, and later that night we were roasting marshmallows on a fire. Got some firewood from Everfree, Spike breathed fire on it, but Big Mac was afraid that the logs were to fall on Celestia’s head, since Spike uses his firebreath to send letters to Celestia, but does the same rule apply for logs too, and where did we get the tinder from? Take a wild guess! It’s a good thing Twilight didn’t know, but most of us said no to burning the books, but some of us went on with the plan anyway.

Finally, Crème was awaiting her kiss, but I wanted to make sure no man-smooches go in the way, so Crème and I walked away from Twilight’s frontyard, exited town, traveled through jungles and mountains, traveled beyond Equestria, dodging anything that tries to block our path, and our destination after traveling around the world: Twilight’s backyard! I looked around to see if anypony was around, and I was just about to give her that kiss I owe her, and…did. I gave her a chocolate kiss. Yep! What? You wanted me to cheat on my special somepony Pinkie Pie for another mare? Hay no! I couldn’t do that! I’m loyal! Anyways, that was MY Hearth’s Warming, but what about my fish? My fish had a nice Hearth’s Warming time as well! They just finished their holiday feast.

“Ah! A wonderful Hearth’s Warming!” Yoyo said excitedly.

“It’s too bad we didn’t get any REAL presents.” Darrel said.

“Darrel!” Dorthey shouted at him.

“What? It’s true! We don’t have much to give to one another, counting we stay in this tank all the time.” Darrel complained.

“He’s right, Dorthey.” Rainbow said.

Piddles yawned as he was laying down and then he mumbled, “When did he become right?”

Just then, Apollo eventually flies inside with a bag in his mouth. “Hello, my aquatic friends!” he greeted.

“Who are you suppose to be?” Yoyo teased.

“It is snowing outside. I’m trying to stay warm.” Apollo said.

“That’s not what I said, but whatever.” Yoyo shrugged.

“SANTA!” Darrel shouted with joy.

“I thought Flare was Santa?” Pearl asked.

“You got presents for us, Apollo?” Darrel asked.

“Darrel! Don’t be rude!” Dorthey demanded.

“It’s fine, Dorthey. In fact, that is why I’ve come!” Apollo said.

“That’s awesome, Apollo! What did you get us?” Rainbow asked.

“First, for Yoyo!” Apollo said, dropping a package into the tank.

“What is this? Is it food?” Yoyo asked, shaking the package.

“Of course it isn’t.” Dorthey said, rolling her eyes.

“Actually it’s a tiny room service menu. Food will be delievered to you whenever you are hungry, if you just call the number, my friend!” Apollo said.

“That is soooo nice of you! Thanks, buddy!” Yoyo said excitedly.

“And for Darrel!” Apollo said, dropping his present in the tank.

“BOMB!” Darrel freaked out and hid behind Rainbow.

“That’s not a bomb, is it?” Rainbow asked.

Apollo chuckled. “No, it’s a present! Open it!” Darrel slowly swims over to the present, swimming back and forth, feeling it around, listening to it, and then shaking it.

“Oh just open it already!” Pearl demanded impatiently. Darrel opens it slowly, and then once it completely opens, Darrel gasps and hides behind the column.

“Don’t be afraid, my little friend! It’s just a slide just for you!” Apollo said. “I know how much you like to have fun and play, so I figured this slide would work!”

“Is it a bomb slide? Does it explode?” Darrel asked.

“No, it’s a normal slide.” Apollo corrected him. Darrel slowly swam over to the slide and rode on it.

“That was………. I’d rather let it be a bomb.” Darrel admitted.

“And now for Rainbow!” Apollo said, dropping him the package.

“Hey, it’s a box! I’ve always wanted a box! Thank you, Apollo!” Rainbow teased.
Apollo chuckles. “No, it’s what’s INSIDE the box!” So Rainbow opened the present. “It’s a water proof megaphone! I know you like to take charge, so this is so everyone can hear you when you do.”

“Oh! Thanks, Apollo!” Rainbow said.

“But don’t you already have a me-“ Dorthey was about to ask, but Apollo cuts her off.

“And now for Dorthey.” Apollo said, dropping her present inside.

“I hope it’s a megaphone too.” Dorthey said, opening it.

“It’s a list of good qualities about you, Dorthey!” Apollo said.

“What does it say? I can’t read!” Dorthey complained.

“It’s full of good things about you! I know how much you appreciate…. Well…. Yourself.” Apollo said.

“Thanks a lot, Apollo! You made me look stubborn!” Dorthey said angrily.

“Stubborn doesn’t mean what you think it does.” Apollo said.

Dorthey was silent for a few seconds, but she finally said, “Thanks.”

“Here’s your’s Pearl!” Apollo said, dropping hers in the tank.

“Oh, my dear Apollo! You shouldn’t have!” Pearl said.

“Ok!” Darrel said, and takes it. “I’ll take it then!”

“HEY!” Pearl yelled.

“Now Darrel, that belongs to Pearl.” Apollo informed him.

“Yeah, DARREL!” Pearl repeated.

“FINE!” Darrel yelled, throwing the present at Pearl, and it floats over to her. Darrel angrily swims away.

“You mad bro?” Yoyo commented.

“It’s a mirror!” Apollo said after Pearl opened it.

“Wow! Another mirror added to my collection! Thank you, sweetheart!” Pearl said excitedly.

“Hmm, it appears Piddles is asleep. I think he’ll like his gift them.” Apollo said, unwrapping it for him. “It’s a fish-sized pillow pet of a pig.” Apollo places it right near him, which wakes him up.

“Huh? What’s this?” Piddles asked.

“It’s your present!” Apollo said.

“Wow! My own stuffed animal! Thanks, Apollo!” Piddles said excitedly.

“We got something for you too, Apollo!” Rainbow started. “It’s the greatest….”

“….the sweetest….” Pearl added.

“….mind-blowingist…..” Dorthey added.

“…..most deserving….” Yoyo added.

“….awesomeist…..” Piddles added.

“….silent but deadliest….” Darrel added.

“….. present EVER!” Rainbow finished.

“Hey! You got to say something twice!” Piddles complained.

“Oh, but you didn’t have to!” Apollo said, smiling.

“Oh but we did, for being a great friend!” Rainbow said.

“Well…. What is it?” Apollo asked.

“TA DA!” all the fish said, throwing him a very small knitted sweater saying: ‘World’s Best Phoenix Friend’ with a heart on it.

“Oh…… I….. I love it!” Apollo said as he smiled and placed it on his wing. “Sure it’s small, but it’s what the thought that counts!”

“Take it to Twilight! She’ll make it your size!” Yoyo suggested.

“Oh you look adorable in it!” Pearl said.

“I…. I think I will. Thank you…. So much…..” Apollo said with tears coming out of his eyes.

“Are you….. crying?” Dorthey asked.

“Yes…. But they’re tears of joy.” Apollo said, wiping his eye.

“C’mon! This isn’t much! I’m sure other’s given you better presents!” Piddles said.

“But….. you are my closest friends.” Apollo said.

“I thought Blaze was your closest friend?” Dorthey asked.

“Blaze is my master, and no one else gives me the respect you give me.” Apollo said. All the fish smile at him, and Apollo smiles back.

Just then, I stumble inside my room and yell, “HEY! What’s that pig doing in the tank?!” The fish all looked at Piddle’s new pillow pet. “How many times do I have to say it? No species of Swinebutt allowed in this household!” All the fish look at eachother weirdly and Apollo looks at me confusingly. “What?!” I yell.

Anyways, Happy Hearth’s Warming everypony! For those of you who are still reading the fanfic, thank you for tuning in, and I love you all so much! If only I could see you all in person so I can hug you! Hugs for all my fans! For those who aren’t my fans… hugs for you too! <3

Author's Note:

Happy Holidays! It's about time I made one of these! Although I'm kinda disappointed on how far this chapter is from the Halloween chapter. If I make the animated series of this, I might have to move the Halloween chapter closer to this.

Anyways, this was always an Engie chapter, but the story changes a bit. Originally, Engie tries his hardest to go to Dodge Junction through Everfree Forest to see if he could find his family, but in the end he doesn't, and it turns out that his family was in Ponyville all along, you know what I mean by that? Well I wanted to be more original, so I made the chapter how you see it is now!