//------------------------------// // Just Plane Wrong (FiE Challenge and Choices) // Story: Friendship is Epic - Book 3: Blessings of the Night // by FlareGun45 //------------------------------// It is time once again, my friends! Time for a brand new session of the Friendship is Epic Challenge! Now if you don’t remember in Book 2, I let the fans of this story pick out dares for me to perform throughout a whole chapter; unfortunately, none suggested any, so I had my friends do it instead. I have to do this challenge for this entire chapter, and it may affect what I’m doing in it. For this chapter, I was dared to wear a stack of hats. The hat stack was as big as my trailer from the outside. It may not be that big now, but later on in the chapter, I have to expand. My friend Adventure Blade “Keith” is going to be letting me know when I have to double the hats I’m wearing. Addie is now my FiE Challenge supervisor! I’m so glad in this challenge, it won’t affect my walking. I had to wear a peg leg in the very first challenge, and octopus legs in the second. These hats might be a lucky break for me. Now, if the hats decide to collapse, I can’t continue the story until I stack them up again. So, without further ado, time to start this chapter right up! We start off this chapter at my trailer in the middle of the night. Water, me, and the fishies (including Piddles) were all sleeping. I had to sleep sitting up so I could wear all these hats. I started off with ten hats, and we’ll see how it goes from there. “Pssst, Rainbow! Rainbow!” Darrel whispered as he tapped Rainbow with his nose. “Rainbow!” “Hmm? Uh.. wha-what?” Rainbow asked as he woke up. “Wait, you were sleeping?” Darrel asked. “But you’re floating!” “Dorthey and I can sleep as we float.” Rainbow said. “Really? You mean I’ve been awake for no reason these past years?” Dorthey complained. “Shhhhh! Quiet!” Yoyo shushed them. “Piddles is sleeping!” “Aren’t you sleeping too?” Piddles asked. “Yes I am! My own way!” Yoyo said as he sleeps on his back. “Don’t sleep like that, Yoyo!” Dorthey advised him. “You always scare Flare when you lay like that.” “Heh, yeah!” Yoyo chuckled. “I remember freaking him out when I slept upside down near the filter! Us loaches like to play dead all the time.” “Ok but… mind if I interrupt your conversation?” Darrel asked. “What is it, Darrel?” Rainbow asked. “Why is there a brain-eating worm alien on Flare’s head?” Darrel asked. “I don’t know, and I don’t care. Can we go back to sleep please?” Rainbow asked. “YES!” Dorthey yelled. “Ok, but… how does one sleep floating?” “It takes a while to master, Dorthey.” Rainbow said. “Just like it’s hard to get used to the fact that Piddles is sleeping.” “Where did that quote even come from?!” Piddles complained. Ding-dong! “AAAH!” I yelled as the doorbell rung and it startled me, and it made my hats all jump when I jumped. “I should start wearing ear muffs to bed like Water!” So I walked over to the door and I opened it. It was Crèmepop. “You didn’t even use your security system this time.” Crème reminded me. “Mhm.” I nodded in a very tired tone, still half-asleep. “I could’ve been Swinebutt for all you knew.” Crème said. “I knew it was you, babe. You’ve been coming here every night. What’s going on?” I asked. “I can’t sleep.” Crème said. “Really? Because that’s you kept saying was your problem.” I said. “First you said you had a gas leak at your house.” A cutaway shows Crèmepop sleeping peacefully in her house, until a fart wakes her up. “Hee hee! Sorry!” Owen from the Total Drama series said embarrassedly. The cutaway ends. “Then you said your house was swarmed with bees.” I added. Another cutaway shows Crèmepop getting up for a glass of water, but when she turns on the light to her kitchen, she screams once she sees a bunch of letter B’s all round her house, just standing there, swarming the place. The cutaway ends. “Don’t forget when my house was also full of ques.” Crème added. A third cutaway shows Crème walking into her bathroom to do ‘business’, but when she gets in there, there was a pony standing right in front of her saying, “On my que! On my que! You have to go on my que! On my que, you go, got it? Wait for my que.” The cutaway ends. “What’s your excuse this time?” I asked. “I just had a bad dream. I’m so alone in that pig-stigh of a house, Flarey. Can I stay here for the night again?” Crème asked. “Sigh… come in, Crème. Come in.” I offered as I moved out of the way for her. “Thanks!” Crème said as she walked inside. “Make yourself at home. What’s mine is your- I’m going to bed.” I said as I started walking into my bedroom and Crème was following me in. “What are you doing?” I asked. “Going to bed, with… you.” Crème blushed. “Nice try.” I said. “It was a nice try wasn’t it?” Crème asked as she started walking into the living room so she could sleep on the couch. “I wonder how many times it’s going to take for Crème to move out that nasty house she lives in now and finds her a better place? I pay her well.” I said. “Maybe it’s high-time you asked her to move in.” Water suggested. “AAAAH!” I yelled. “Don’t do that! I thought you were sleeping?!” “Been there, done that!” Piddles yelled from my bedroom. “C’mon, Flare, you and Crèmepop have been in a relationship for many months now. Don’t you think it’s time you asked her to move in?” Water asked. “As if I had enough to deal with trying to get you to move out?” I asked. “I’ll get there, don’t worry.” Water promised. “My Faust, sis, you actually might be on to something.” I thought it over. “I don’t need an adult when I know when I’m actually on to something.” Water said as she winked at me. “You’re right, Water. I’m going to ask Crèmepop to move in.” I said. “YAY!” Water cheered. “This is going to be really fun! The three of us are going to have a really fun time together! We can eat popcorn, play board games, give eachother make-overs…” “Play VIDEO games!” I added. “Ew! Don’t get Crème hooked onto something that’ll probably persuade her to steal cars and murder innocent aliens!” Water demanded. “Video games is more than just violent games, sis.” I corrected her. “Alright well I’m going to bed. Night, Flare!” Water said as she walks back into her room. “Night.” I said as I walked back into my room too. “AAAAAH!” I yelled. “What?” Addie asked. “What are you doing here- ooooooh, right, I remember.” I nodded. “Yee.” Addie nodded. “They’re still on.” I said. “Ok.” Addie said. “Well night, Addie.” I said. “Night.” Addie said. So I went back to bed and went back to sleep with Addie just sitting there watching me. I woke up in the middle of the night and found out he was still there. “Don’t you ever sleep?” I asked. “I’m always up all night talking to friends on Skype.” Addie said with his laptop out. “So who’s going to watch me during the day?” I asked. “Me.” Addie said. “When are you going to sleep?” I asked. “Never.” Addie said. “Is that even healthy?” I asked. “No.” Addie said. “But you’re doing it anyway?” I asked. “Yee.” Addie said. “Alright, but do you have to just stare at me all night?” I asked. “I feel that you’re going to murder me in my sleep.” “Yee.” Addie said. “Yee to staring at me all night, or yee to murdering me?” I asked. “Yee.” Addie said. “To what!?” I yelled. “Yee.” Addie said. I couldn’t argue with him. Keith is just too good at arguing for me. As if Psyche wasn’t bad enough? The next day came, and over at my shop, Lyra was making up a meatless antipasto for Aqua. “Here you are, Aqua! A meatless antipasto which is fantastico!” Lyra said. “A meatless antipasto, which is… just a weird looking salad.” Aqua said as he observed the dish. “Weird but delish!” Lyra said. “MWAH!” “Ew.” Aqua commented. “I was kissing the air, gimmie a break!” Lyra complained. “Don’t do that, Lyra. It always freaks out customers.” Bonnie advised her. “Look who’s talking! Clipping your hoof-nails where everypony can see you!” Lyra complained. “This is a restaurant, not a nail salon!” “Then how do you explain Flare’s collection of hoof-nails?” Bonnie asked. “Wait what?” I asked shockingly. “HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!” “Woops, busted.” Bonnie said. Meanwhile, the Noble Six were all sitting down at a table and chatting it up. “So… about vampires and zombies.” Blaze started. “They don’t exist.” Psyche interrupted him. “No, just… hear me out.” Blaze said. “If a zombie bites you, you become a zombie, and if a vampire bites you, you become a vampire, right?” “Oh snap!” Crystal gasped. “That’s deep, man.” “But what if BOTH a zombie and a vampire bites you? Do you become a zombie-vampire half bread?” Blaze asked. “I never even saw a vampire and a zombie in the same movie before.” Aqua said. “What about Vampires vs. Zombies?” Crystal reminded him. “They make something verses something all the time.” Blaze said. “I mean, they made a PLANTS vs. zombies. Zombies and plants just don’t… add up that much.” “Howdy partners!” Engie said as he joined the party. “Whatcha talkin’ about?” “Zombies and vampires.” Blaze said. “What if someone turns into a werewolf-zombie-vampire third bread?” Engie asked. “THAT would be AWESOME!” Crystal said. “Well… ah think you might’ve heard the news.” Engie started. “The news that you smell like you haven’t taken a shower in days?” Psyche asked. Engie glares at Psyche. “If ah die, ah can just respawn. If you die, it’s permanent. Don’t make me go all rodeo on you now.” “What’s the news, brutha from another mutha?” Crystal asked. “Or for short I’d call you bro from another mo!” she starts laughing. “Well ah recently did get mah pilot’s license and ah finally bought mahself that Cub-an 800 fixed wing airplane that ah always wanted.” Engie said. “Oh snap! An airplane? Really?!” Crystal gasped. “Nice, man!” Blaze said. “Yep! Ah’ve been savin’ money for that dog-on thing for a long time!” Engie said. “What are you going to use it for? Are you going to bomb cities or something?” Crystal asked. “Goodness no!” Engie cried. “It’s for supply drop purposes! Since ah’m in the buildin’ bots business, ah’m deliverin’ auto bots for whoever is in need of them by air now.” “Air delivery, huh? Sounds smart!” Psyche said. “I’m so glad I’m not ya right now.” Aqua said. “I really don’t like air travel.” “Don’t worry, ah’m goin’ to be ridin’ the plane mahself. This plane could also be used if we need to go places for vacation or for Noble Six purposes.” Engie said. “Very smart, brah!” I said. “I have no doubt that we’ll be doing business in Mareami one day, or maybe Trottingham.” “NO! I got what I need there! I’m not going back!” Psyche freaked out. “What got your panties in a bunch, Psyche?” Crystal asked. “My panties are fine, Crystal. They have nothing to do with my attitude.” Psyche corrected her. “Ok good.” Crystal said. “Wait… what?” Aqua asked. “What?” Psyche asked as he looked at him with an awkward look and then an awkward silence. “So Engie, does your plane have that new plane smell?” Blaze asked. “As long as ah can keep mah robo mom out of it, it should be fine.” Engie said. “Well if any of you want to check out mah plane, it’s over at the airport right now; hanger 14.” “Wait a minute… hanger 14?” I asked. “Yeah.” Engie nodded. “That’s my hanger.” I said. All my friends looked at eachother awkwardly. “Why do ya have a hanger. Ya don’t have a plane. Ya don’t even fly.” Aqua reminded me. “I do so fly! What about my breakfast helicopter? My Wafflcopter?” I asked. “Oh B-T-W, it finished upgrading to the OJ fuel. It’s parked outside my trailer.” “So why don’t ya use ya hanger?” Aqua asked. “Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it.” Psyche thought. “Well they don’t see me using my tail at all either; it’s just hanging there looking pretty. Maybe they should reassign that too.” I pointed out. “Well, Flare, if you want another hanger, you can always rent another one.” Engie suggested. “I don’t want another hanger! I want my hanger!” I corrected him. “It’s a nice secure hanger with a door, and it has two big beautiful lights posts on the top, and behind the hanger lies a beautiful forest behind that electric fence that I keep seeing squirrels getting shocked from.” “Ah ha, fun story, Flare.” Engie said sarcastically. “Meanwhile, you still don’t have a plane. You need a plane for a hanger, not a helicopter.” “Hey, don’t try to change the subject! We’re talking about hangers; it has nothing to do with planes!” I corrected him. “Are you listenin’ to yerself right now?” Engie asked. “I always listen to myself! It’s one of the great joys of my life!” I said. “Now if you please, Engineer, get your plane out of my hanger.” “Nope.” Engie said. “Very well, you leave me no choice.” I said. Suddenly I rush over to the airport, checked in with security so I can force move the plane myself. “What do you mean you won’t allow me in?!” I complained. “Umm… I didn’t say anything.” The security guard corrected me. “You just teleported there out of nowhere and complained that.” “Yeah isn’t the media great?” I asked. “Now please, can I go in and move a plane out of my hanger?” “May I see some ID?” the guard asked. “Sure, here.” I showed it to him. “Which hanger is yours?” the guard asked. “Hanger 14.” I said. “Lemme check.” The guard said as he checked his computer. “I’m sorry, buddy. Hanger 14 is under new management.” “Are you kidding me? I rented that hanger!” I corrected him. “It would seem that you fell behind on your rents.” The guard said. “This is an outrage!” I complained. “I should sue you for credit fraud!” “Actually… I should just arrest YOU for credit fraud.” The guard corrected me. “Oh you wouldn’t dare. I get along with everypony. I’m way too important for that.” I said. “Oh yeah?” the guard asked. “Yeah, NOW WATCH ME SING!” I demanded. “Put down your chainsaw and listen to me! It’s time for us to join in the fight! It’s time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys, it’s time to let the bed bugs bite! DARE TO BE STUPID!” “Uhh, security? We have a situation over here.” The guard said on his radio. “I’ll throw a shoe at you.” I insulted him. Airport security began running towards me. “HEY! YOU THERE!” one of the guards yelled. “I think it’s time for me to go.” I said. Ok, so I eventually escaped airport security. Why? Because I said I did. Time for a scene change. Meanwhile back at my trailer, Crèmepop was carrying a cart of luggage and pushing it right in front of my trailer. Water was also there with her. “Well, Water, this is it! I am officially moved out of my house.” Crème said. “Good! That place was a dump!” Water commented. “HEY! That’s my house you’re talking about!” Crème yelled at her angrily. “Well then, welcome ‘home’, Crèmepop!” Water said. “Thanks, Water!” Crème chuckled as the two of them walk inside my trailer as they both carried some bags inside. “I still can’t believe Flare allowed me to move in with him!” Crème said excitedly. “I’m really excited!” “So you want me to set this stuff in Flare’s room?” Water asked. “Why?” Crème asked. “You know, because aren’t you sleeping with him? Aren’t you two a couple?” Water asked. “We are, but… you know… Flare said he doesn’t allow other ponies in his room with him when he’s sleeping.” Crème said. “Really now?” Water asked. “It’s in my Roommate Agreement.” Crème said, showing Water her new contract. “So where are you going to sleep?” Water asked. “On the couch.” Crème said. “What kind of stallionfriend is Flare anyway?” Water asked. “What kind stallionfriend forces his marefriend to sleep on his couch?!” “The best one ever!” Crème said happily. “How can you be ok with this?” Water complained. “You need to talk to Flare and DEMAND him to move into his room.” “But that would mean he’d have to sleep on the couch, and I don’t want to do that to him.” Crème said. “Crème, you’re acting like a huge sucker right now, just like a shopper.” Water said. A cutaway shows somepony sitting on a table with a giant banner on it that says ‘free high hooves’. A customer comes up to him and asks, “Excuse me, sir? Do you have any down-lows?” “Sorry, all out.” The seller said. “Oh…” the customer said upsettingly. “You were too slow.” The seller said. The cutaway ends. “If you’re going to get what you desire, you have to stick it to the boss.” Water advised her. “W-what?” Crème asked. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.” “Ok, pretend you’re Flare’s employee at his shop.” Water started. “I AM one of Flare’s employees at his shop. I’m his assistant manager!” Crème reminded her. “Ok but pretend you’re treated unfairly there. You’re underpaid and overworked.” Water explained. “But Water, you’re telling me the exact opposite of what I am.” Crème said. “Flare’s been really good to me. Better than anypony I’ve ever met.” “Ok but we’re just pretending. If you were underpaid and overworked, what would you do?” Water asked. “I’d say who cares?” Crème said. “I’m dating my boss.” “Crème, you’re missing the whole point!” Water raised her voice at her. “Water, I’m ok with sleeping on the couch! I feel lucky enough just to live under the same roof as him!” Crème said. “But you’re his special somepony!” Water yelled. “Yeah tell me something I don’t know.” Crème said. “Listen, I have to unpack my things. If you’re just going to tell me that all Flare is giving me is not enough, I don’t want you helping me.” “Ok if you’re gonna be that way, FINE! If you’re not going to stand up to Flare for your rights, I WILL!” Water promised. “Just you wait! You’re going to be as happy as a fan meeting her idol!” A cutaway shows Rainbow Dash stalking Daring Do as Daring searches the woods for the missing ring. “I don’t believe it!” Rainbow said excitedly. “Daring Do is REAL!” “Look kid,” Daring said in an annoyed tone. “I don’t have time for- WAIT A MINUTE! Oh my gosh! You’re Rainbow Dash!” Daring cried in excitement. “The Element of Loyalty! You helped save Equestria from Nightmare Moon, Discord, and other foes! The only pegasus capable of doing a sonic rainboom! You’re my hero!” Daring then gives her a book and asks, “May I have your autograph, Miss Dash with the text ‘I hope one day you’ll find your rainbow’?!” So Rainbow Dash does so, and then Daring said excitedly as she walks away, “Thank you! Thank you! You made me the happiest mare in the world!” Rainbow Dash suddenly drops the pencil she was using to write the autograph in shock and she asks herself, “W-who am I?” The cutaway ends, special thanks to Fadri-d6xkrhy1 for the joke! What? You think I’d use people’s jokes without crediting them? Silly readers you are that pretend you’re Gordon Ramzy! Meanwhile over at my shop inside my office, I was playing with my Iron Man helmet. Blaze was also there hanging out with me. “So you just got away from airport security huh?” “I’m not sure what their problem was. I wasn’t trespassing inside the airstrip, and I had no weapons; I just got mad and started singing, and then he called security. How does that make sense?” I asked. “He must’ve thought you were crazy.” Blaze said. “Which, by the way, he has a point on.” “Blaze, Engie stole my hanger!” I said. “Hey don’t look at me, man! I heard you were behind on your rent so your rent must’ve expired. Besides, you don’t even have an airplane!” Blaze reminded me. “I have a Wafflecopter!” I said. “Hangers are not for helicopters, man; they’re for planes. Helipads for are for helicopters. Why don’t you just rent a helipad then?” Blaze suggested. “Ok first of all, it’s not a HELIcopter, it’s a WAFFLEcopter.” I corrected him. “Second, that hanger was MINE! Engie had no right in taking it from me! I paid for it with my own money, and then Engie just had to steal it from me!” “Well this is the battle between you two, man, and Engie’s the one with the plane, alright? Not you.” Blaze said. “Blaze, I can understand that I’m your best friend and you love and respect me so much, but why don’t you ever take my side?” I asked. “Because I can never understand YOUR side.” Blaze said. Just then, Engie bursts inside my office angrily. “Hello, Engie! Thanks for knocking! Please come in.” I said sarcastically. “Give it back!” Engie demanded. “Give what back?” I asked. “My Iron Man helment! Ah know you took it! Crystal told me!” Engie said. “He gave me a cookie! Sorry for ratting you out!” Crystal called out from the dining room. “Oh… that.” I nodded as I placed his Iron Man helmet under my desk. “Well, you see, I wanted it, and you weren’t using it. Apparently, those are the rules we live by now. Payback is truly a female-dog isn’t it?” “Ooooooh snap!” Crystal yelled from the dining room. “Flare…” Engie started with an angry tone. “That was a 500 bit limited edition collectible, and ah want it back.” “I’d love to help you out, brah, but…” I started as I placed his Iron Man helmet on my head. “I’m using it right now.” “Ok, partner, if that’s how yer gonna be, we’ll play your game.” Engie said. “You started this game, just to let you know.” I reminded him. “Hmph!” Engie groaned as he takes one of the bean bag chairs in my office and walks out. “HEY! What are you doing with that?!” I yelled. “You’re not usin’ this chair, are ya?” Engie asked. “That’s not even for me it’s for the customers if they have complaints, or my employees if they want to ask for a raise but I decline them epically!” I explained. “If you want it, ah’m takin’ it.” Engie said as he walks out with the bean bag chair. “Oh it is SO on now, Red Engineer!” I mumbled angrily. “Look, man, can you two just talk it out?” Blaze asked. “No! The talking is over! Time for payback!” I yelled. “Hey Flare?” Addie asked. “What is it, Addie?” I asked. “It’s time to double your hat length.” Addie said. “Aww, already?” I complained. So now instead of having ten hats stacked on my head, I have 20. The 10 hasn’t been much of a problem for me so far, but now that I have 20, this is going to make this challenge a little more challenging. Meanwhile, outside my shop, Engie was angrily walking by the BBQ restaurant across the street as he mumbled to himself. “Dag nabbit! Ah never thought a singe hanger would get him to steal mah limited edition helmet! Well ah better tighten my security at home just in case he tries anythin’.” The security camera on the BBQ restaurant listened to Engie throughout the whole conversation. My business rival Boorlie Pomodoro knows what’s going on now. “So, it would appear that Mr. Crimson Gun has himself in a little pickle right now with friends of his.” Boorlie said to himself as he plays with the tip of the right side of his really cool mustache. “Well, perhaps if these are having themselves a little bit of a stealing treasure war, perhaps I could use Engineer to my advantage! I could get Engineer to steal Flare’s secret recipe and persuade him to give it to me, and then I could back to making pizzas myself, and I, Boorlie Pomodoro, will become the greatest pizza chef ever in Equestria yet again! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA! I don’t know why I’m laughing, it’s not that funny.” “Excuse me, Mr. Pomodoro?” one of the employees asked his boss. “Your mustache massager has just arrived.” “Ah, excellent! Gotta get my mustache in good shape before negotiation!” Boorlie said. Meanwhile over at my trailer, I came home after a hard day’s work at the shop, and with me, I had a guitar. When I walked inside my trailer, my stack of hats bumped on the top of the door frame and almost toppled over. “Whoa there!” I flinched, but I was able to save the hats from falling to the floor and I stacked them neatly back on my head. “Alright, alright, alriiiiiight! That was a close call!” “Hey bro! Can we talk?” Water asked as I walked through the door. “That depends. Shall I sing you a little tune from this guitar first?” I asked. “You don’t play guitar.” Water reminded me. “Where did you get that?” “Engie’s. Can you put it somewhere safe for me while I go steal something else of his?” I asked. “I’m just gonna ignore that because Crème and I have bigger fish to fry.” Water said. “WHAT?!” Dorthey gasped. Just then, Yoyo’s face starts to get all bloated up as barf was about to come out. He then swims over to Pearl’s castle and does his business in there. “MY CASTLE!” Pearl cried. “Relax, Flare will clean it later.” Yoyo informed her. “What seems to be the problem, sis?” I asked. “You did ask Crèmepop to move in with us, right?” Water asked. “Of course! I love her, don’t I?” I asked. “I know, but if you truly loved her, you’d get her to sleep in your bed.” Water said. “Water it’s MY bed. Where am I going to sleep?” I asked. “On your bed. You both are going to be sleeping in your bed.” Water said. “Really? Is there going to be room for the both of us? I sleep on a double bed.” I reminded her. “Flare, you’re asking your special somepony to sleep on your couch!” Water yelled. “Yes, MY couch. This is MY trailer that you take an advantage of.” I reminded her. “This isn’t about me, it’s about her! If you truly loved her, you’d ask her to sleep in your room.” Water said. “Look, here’s how things work here: you have to start at the bottom of the ladder to get to the top, and if you’re disabled from the waist down, you’re going to have a very tough time climbing.” I said. “W-what are you talking about?” Water asked. “I have no clue, but Crème has to start off somewhere! You think I’m ready for her to sleep in the same room as me? She’s lucky I got her to move in with me! I could’ve left her in her dump of a home!” I explained. Water gasped. “How could you say that?!” “Because I’m nice.” I said. “Nice? NICE?!” Water yelled. “You’re beyond nice! Oh wait… that’s not what I meant. Does ‘beyond’ mean better or worse?” “Look, when I’m ready for Crème to sleep in my room with me, I’ll allow it, but for now, she’s staying on that couch, capiche?” I asked. “Now if you excuse me, I have to get hitched.” I said as I left my trailer. “You just wait, Flare Gun! If you’re not going to sleep with your marefriend! You’re going to be sleeping with the fishies!” Water swore. “He’s not taking MY bed!” Piddles said. Meanwhile over at Engie’s house, Engie returns home after a hard day’s work. “Phew! Alright, mah first air-line delivery! My ears popped a bit, but ah’m sure it was all worth it.” Engie said. “Lemme just head inside mah house and try to relax. Ah’m in need of a massage.” Engie unlocks the door to his house and he walks inside. “Mama? Mama, ah’m home!” Engie calls out, but there was no answer. “Ma?! Ma where are you?” There was still no answer. So Engie walks over to his living room, sits down, takes his remote control, and presses the power button to turn on the TV. Engie sighs and he yells, “MA! Ah told you to change the batteries in mah remote!” There was still no answer. “MA! Where is that lady?” Just then, the front door opens and Engie begins to hear robot giggling from the foyer. “And that’s when I said, 01011101001010!” I said as robomom continued laughing. “That is definitely hilarious!” robomom said. “Flare? Ma?! Where have you two been?” Engie asked. “Oh hey Engie! I took your mom hear on a date, I hope you wouldn’t mind!” I said. “He’s very sweet to me!” robomom said. “And guess what else?” I asked. “We got hitched!” robomom said as she showed Engie her diamond ring on her finger. “Beg yer PARDON?!” Engie cried. “You just married mah robomom?!” “Noooooo. I’m ABOUT to marry your robomom.” I corrected him. “I calculate the odds of our kid being a girl are 58 to 1.” Robomom said. “Whoa, babe! Slow it down! Heh!” I blushed. “But what about Crèmepop?” Engie asked. “Relax, I got her- WHOA!” I yelled as I started to lose balance of my hats, but I was able to stop them from toppling over. “Ok, phew! Relax, I got Crème’s permission.” “Really?” Engie asked. “Yes reeeeeeally!” I said in a sarcastic tone. “Well then, partner, since you’re goin’ to marry mah ma, it would appear that you messed with the bull and the horns are comin’ right atchya!” Engie said as he blows air from his nostrils. “It’s funny how you’re able to blow air from both of your nostrils.” I said. “I can only exhale air from one nostril at a time. Sometimes it switches.” “Science believes that 85% of equus ferus caballus can only exhale through one nostril at a time.” Robomom said. “Wha- a equus something cabollous? What does that have to do with horses?” I asked. “Equus ferus caballus is the scientific term for horse.” Robomom said. “Your science makes you attractive Mrs. Engineer!” I said. “Oh stop it, you!” robomom said. “Blush… blush… blush…” “So you really gonna do this to me, huh?” Engie asked. “Yes! Yes we are!” I said as I placed my hoof around her. “Already then, ah didn’t want to do this, but you left me no choice.” Engie said as he walks away. “What’s he gonna do? Is he going to marry Crèmepop? She’s going to refuse.” I said. “There’s nothing Engie can do that’ll beat me hitching his own robomom!” “After you saying that, the calculations of him being this are 400,000 to 1.” Robomom said. “I hope you realize I’m just marrying you just to tick Engie off.” I reminded her. I guess I shouldn’ve spoken too soon because the next day over at my shop, Engie was really going to tick me off this time! But first, Bonnie was finishing up with an order. “Pleeeease come again!” Bonnie said to the customer as the customer walks away. “… when I’m not working.” “What’s wrong with you today, Bonnie? You seem to be in a bad mood today.” Lyra pointed out. “You of all ponies should know why I’m in a bad mood today.” Bonnie reminded her. A cutaway shows Lyra sitting on a bench in the park eating little round candies inside some blue and yellow striped candy wrappers. Bonnie walks over to Lyra and asks, “Hey Lyra, what do you want to do for dinner tonight? I feel like-“ just then Bonnie suddenly stops and gasps at Lyra eating those candies. Lyra just looks over at Bonnie, slowly unwraps the candy, I mean very slowly. She unwraps the piece of candy on her hooves by untwisting the left side first, but then she realizes that she was twisting it the wrong way, making it sealed in tighter, and then she starts twisting it the other way. Once that side was done, she started twisting the other side. The two ponies continued to stare at eachother. Lyra was concerned but Bonnie was shocked. Once Lyra unwraps the other side… umm… wait for it, she’s still unwrapping… hang on a second… umm… ok she’s done unwrapping. You may think the wrapper was opened now, or maybe not; if you thought not, you’re smart! If you thought the other way, you’re still smart, but still wrong. Lyra has to now open the wrapper by tearing it. Since she has just hooves, it was very difficult for her to unwrap it. Ok let’s start a new paragraph now without this sudden wall of text. Lyra had so much trouble tearing the wrapper apart, so she starts using her teeth, at the same time still staring at Bonnie confusingly as Bonnie continued staring at her shockingly. “Ow!” Lyra yelled as she hurt her tooth trying to tear the wrapper, so instead she used her unicorn magic to bring in some scissors, and she used that to cut the wrapper apart. Ah jeez! It’s hard typing W’s on this keyboard, you know? So once Lyra opened the wrapper, she places the candy in her mouth and starts chewing it slowly. “WHAT?!” Lyra complained. “Why are you looking at me like that?!” Wow, I got a better question: why did it take her so long to- for Wizard of Hope’s sake, these W’s! Why did it take her so long to ask that question? Ok, I’m done wasting time, this useless cutaway ends. “Hey, little did I know you didn’t want me to eat your cutie mark!” Lyra complained. “Umm, pardon me, everypony? Pardon?” Engie called out from my pizza shop’s stage. “Ah have, umm, a small musical number to share for y’all.” “What is that guy doing?” I asked as I peeked through the kitchen window. “Now, ah’m completely volunteerin’ mahself to sing for y’all today, free of charge. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the music.” Engie said. “Is he trying to tick me off for disturbing my customers out of his terrible entertainment?” I asked. “Because frankly, I find him to be quite entertaining, so I’m not sure what he’s trying to accomplish here.” Just then, Engie suddenly playing a red accordion up on stage in the style of blues. “Wait a minute… is that MY accordion?” I asked. “Ah whatever. He doesn’t know how to play that thing!” When Engie continues to play my accordion, he is actually doing pretty well. “Oh right, I forgot. My polka instruments are SUPPOSED to play good, no matter how bad the user might be.” I just remembered. Engie starts playing singing a little tune in a blues style voice as he continues to play my accordion. “Ah got mah alligator boots, ah wear mah pants skin tight, ah wear mah dark sunglasses in the middle of the night. And when ah look in the mirror ah’m-a such an awesome sight; it makes me wanna kneel down and pray! Ah’m so adorable and charmin’, ah’m sure that you can see; and everypony’s always tryin’ to hang around with me. They tell me ah’m the greatest and it’s hard to disagree, cause ah’m so perfect in ever-ey way!” “And he’s trying to rip-off Cheese Sandwich’s songs!” I yelled. “THAT’S MY JOB! I’m his idol, NOT ENGIE!” “And ah’m so cute, ah can hardly stand it;” Engie continues, “and ah’m so handsome honey ah could just die! Ah know you’ll never be as wonderful as me but at least you can tryyyyyyy; cause ah’m such a groovy guy!” “Ok, this has just gotten personal!” I mumbled to myself angrily. I knew it was already personal at the start, but I like making things a little more dramatic! Looks like it’s my turn to steal something valuable to him, like… his telescope set! Yeah Engie kept saying how much he love, love, loves space! So I went over to his house and I stole his telescope and used it that night. I went over to the Ponyville schoolhouse because I thought that was a nice spot to watch the night sky, and besides, I had Scootaloo there to keep me company! “Ah would you look at those stars!” I said as I looked into the telescope. “I see Jupiter with its rings!” “WOO!” Jupiter cried as the planet was hula hooping with its rings. “And there’s Saturn!” I said. “You call that hula hooping? THIS is hula hooping!” Saturn said as it was hula hooping with even more rings than Jupiter. “Saturn please!” Uranus said as it was hula hooping its rings vertically. “Quit being a show-off, Uranus!” Saturn complained. “Look who’s talking!” Jupiter complained. “I only hula hoop sometimes! You two hula hoop ALL the time!” “Yeah what’s up with that, dudes?” Neptune complained. “I’m not even considered a planet anymore!” Pluto complained. “Isn’t it nice tonight, Scoots?” I asked. “Ok, I just have to try, 999,999,999,999,999.99 TIMES AS HARD!” Scoots yelled as she attempts to fly but then she collapses back on the ground of the stage she’s on. “Hey, I can understand what you’re going through, Scoots.” I admitted. “How in any way do you understand what I’m going through?” Scoots asked. “I had a difficult time trying to poop many times.” I said. “Wait a minute… what do you think I’m doing right now?” Scoots asked. “Talking to me.” I said. “UGH!” Scoots groaned. “Well at least you’re company. Can you give me a little confidence?” “Go Scoots go! Let it all out!” I cheered as Scoots attempts to fly again. “C’mon! Move those bowels!” “Oof!” Scoots landed back on the ground. “How about some laxative?” I suggested. Just then, I found Engie walking by down the street. “Oh hey, Engie! Check it out! I’m using your awesome telescope! Yep! I stole your prized telescope from you, brah! How does that feel?!” “What?” Engie asked as he walked towards me. “What are you talkin’ about? Oh, and hey Scoots!” “Hey, Engie.” Scoots greeted as she attempted to fly again. “So how does it feel, partner? I’m using your most prized telescope! I’m probably getting it dirty by spilling some chip crumbs all over the lends; not to mention, the holders are on an ant hill.” I explained. “So?” Engie asked. “What do you mean so? I stole your telescope! You keep saying how much you love this thing!” I reminded him. “Uhh… no. This is Psyche’s telescope and he’s the one who said all that.” Engie corrected me. “Oh… well then. Ehh, no regrets here.” I said. “Nice try though, Flarey-moo!” Engie said as he patted me on the head and walked away. “UGH! Groans! He messed up my hair!” I complained. “Ok I just gotta try a zillion times hard!” Scoots yelled. “Zillion’s not a number, sista.” I corrected her. “After trillion comes quadrillion.” “Oh… well no matter! The crusaders are gonna win that flag carrying contest! We have hearts as strong as horses!” Scoots yelled in excitement. “Then you should really see a doctor because that sounds unhealthy.” I suggested. The next day came, and Engie was out on his supply run to drop off a bot supply drop over at a town outside of L.P. But while he was on that, I was inside MY hanger trying to get 100% gold on all of the GTA: BoGT missions, and man was that first Bulgarian mission hard to beat! “C’mooooooooon!” I complained. “Why does the time have to be impossible in here? Why does time have to be in every single mission? Also why do I have to waste my time shooting seagulls when they don’t do ANYTHING?” “Flare!” Blaze yelled as he flew down from the sky and landed inside my hanger. “Blaze? How did you know where I was?” I asked. “You posted on Facebook.” Blaze reminded me. “All the cool ponies post on Facebook. Forget Twitter!” I said. “Flare, you have to leave.” Psyche informed me. “Psyche? Where did you come from?” I asked. “Blaze was he with you?” “He was not.” Blaze admitted. “I was in here the whole time.” Psyche reminded me. “You told me to get some donuts for you.” “Riiiight.” I nodded. “Also what’s Addie doing here?” “Giving you ten more hats.” Addie said as he placed ANOTHER stack of hats on the stack I already had, and now I have 29 ½! I have that much because someone ripped the top part of one of the sombreros. I gotta say, this hat stack started to get pretty heavy, but luckily I was in this big hanger, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to fit inside a building. “What a nice view from up here!” Spike said as he was sitting on the top hat. “Spike! Get down from there!” I demanded. “You’re gonna make the whole thing topple over!” “Fine.” Spike said as he slides down the hats and jumps onto Addie’s back. “Weeeee! That was fun!” “Oh.” Addie said. “Flare what are you doin’?” Engie asked as he was about to park the plane inside the hanger but I was in the way with my sofa and video game system. “I’m using my hanger! Now everypony can stop complaining now!” I said. “Ok, you need to move now.” Engie instructed me. “Flare, just move.” Psyche instructed me. “Psyche why do you talk to me like I’m stupid but you act stupid with everypony else?” I asked. “I treat everypony the same way.” Psyche said. “Ponies that act stupid get treated stupid. It’s how I roll.” “You must treat Crystal like she’s pretty stupid then, don’t you?” I asked. “Nope, because she’s a mare and mares get more respect.” Psyche said. “But you just said you treat everypony the same way!” I complained. “I did, and I do.” Psyche said. “You’re not making any sense!” I yelled. “RAAAAH! WHERE’S THE BLAAAAACKSMITH?!” “Please partner, can you move please? This is MAH spot!” Engie demanded. “If you don’t move, ah’m gonna run you over!” “NO!” Psyche yelled. “Don’t you dare run over his sweet loving… uhh, I mean… don’t you dare hurt him!” “Whoa-nelly!” Engie gasped. “What was that all about, Psyche?” I asked. “I… umm…” Psyche said nervously. “Whatever, if he won’t move, ah’ll just force him to move!” Engie yelled as he turns on the plane motors and the propellers start spinning like crazy. It was very windy in this hanger now which made my hats almost blow away, but I was able to catch them all with my magic. “WILL YOU MOVE NOW!” Engie yelled. “WHAT?!” I yelled. “WILL YOU MOVE NOW?!” Engie yelled again. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU! THE PROPELLERS ARE TOO LOUD!” I yelled. “FINE! AH’LL JUST CUT YOU WITH THE BLADES! SAY YOUR PRAYERS, CRIMSON!” Engie yelled as he starts the plane up in first gear and the plane started rolling towards me. “WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I yelled. “MOVE IT!” Engie yelled. “GET OUT OF MAH HANGER!” “NEVER!” I yelled. “AH’M WARNIN’ YOU FLARE, AH WILL RUN YOU OVER!” Engie swore. “YOUR THREATS MEAN NOTHING! I WILL CALL AIRPORT SECURITY AND THEY’LL BUST YOU!” I yelled. Blaze suddenly flies over to the cockpit of the plane, opens the door and suddenly removes the key from the slot, powering down the plane instantly. “Hey! What gives, Blaze?” Engie complained. “YOU TRIED TO KILL FLARE, YOU IDIOT!” Blaze yelled. “No ah wasn’t! Ah was just goin’ to move close and hope he would get scared and finally run away!” Engie defended himself. “FLARE!” Psyche runs over and hugs me. “Are you ok?!” “I’m fine, brah. What’s your problem?” I asked. “Oh… umm… it’s just…” Psyche releases his grip on me quickly and blushes. “Are you ok, Psyche?” I asked. “Are you really that stupid, Flare? You’d kill yourself just to keep this hanger?” Psyche asked. “This was my hanger first and Engie stole a lot of things from me!” I yelled. “Yeah well your rent was late! This is mah hanger now! Got that bucko?!” Engie warned me. “YOU’RE BOTH being ridiculous! It’s JUST a hanger!” Blaze yelled. “It’s not just a hanger, Blaze! I don’t see any clothes hanging around!” I teased. “Ok shut up, Flare! We’re being serious right now!” Blaze reminded me. “Yeah shut up, Psyche! Always putting your ugly face in other pony’s businesses!” I yelled at him as I bonk him on the head with my game controller. “Ow!” Psyche yelled as he rubbed his head in pain. “Can you believe this guy, Blaze?” Engie asked him angrily. “What I can’t believe was that you tried to either run him over or dice him with the propellers!” Blaze reminded him. “Ah had to do what was necessary, partner! Ah’m complainin’ what’s rightfully mine!” Engie said as he jumps out of his plane and starts walking out. “You just wait, Flare Gun! Ah’m about to pull up one more steal! Ah’m goin’ to steal somethin’ you truly care about!” Engie then angrily marches away. “See what you started, Flare?” Blaze asked. “I do see. I turned Engie into a complete psychopath!” I said. “He has to be stopped!” “It’s not just him, you know.” Psyche pointed out. “It’s not Engie’s fault that your rent was late on this hanger. He just so happened to rent it after you because it was available for purchase. Its first come, first serve, that’s the law of the land, or as you may call it ‘finders keepers, loser’s weepers’.” “Loser’s crying, not loser’s weepers. How does that make sense? Loser’s weepers?” I asked. “Whatever, but do you get what I’m saying, dude?” Psyche asked. “I do, brah, I do.” I nodded. “I have to make things right with Engie. It’s time I returned his stuff to him. It’s time I became the bigger stallion than he is. I’ll let him have this hanger until I so happen to get a waffle jet.” “I haven’t seen the Wafflecopter since our journey to Chaos Mountain.” Psyche said. “It’s right there, alright?” I pointed over to the other side of the hanger where my Wafflecopter was just parked there. “Still looks the same, but still an alternate fuel source. I actually used it to get into this airport instead of going through the front gate.” “Wouldn’t they detect that?” Blaze asked. “Oh… dang.” I said as I gained a three star wanted level. “We should go.” “Yeah definitely.” Psyche nodded. “Right.” Blaze nodded as we all hopped into my Wafflecopter, but wait I had to pack up my sofa and gaming system so I used my magic to carry them inside, but now everything was too heavy and the chopper wouldn’t take off. “I can hear sirens! We’re too heavy!” Blaze yelled. “I know what to do!” I yelled as I throw Psyche out of the chopper. “Nothing personal, brah.” “Ugh! First he messes up my telescope, now he abandons me!” Psyche complained. “I’m so close to losing it.” So I started flying helicopter and I escape the airport, leaving Psyche to get arrested by the co- wait, of course! He can fly! He’s a pegasus! So he was able to escape the airport security by flying off. Wow, we were lucky lately. Haven’t been busted by the cops! Ok to be honest, I did get busted by the cops earlier, and then I get transferred to the nearest police station, I lost all my weapons and lost a little money for bribe, and I had to start the chapter over again. Wasn’t easy, believe me. All I had to do was fly out of the flashing circle on the radar, stay out of it for a few seconds and they’re gone. Simple as that! Yeah I knew that! I knew that all along! You think I’d abandon Psyche like that? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- no. Meanwhile back in Ponyville, Engie sneaks over to my trailer in hoping for the biggest heist of his life. He sneaks over to the front of my trailer, builds a dispenser in front of the trailer, upgrades it to level 2, then upgrades it to level 3, and then he jumps over and hides behind a rock with his detonator out. Really? He just makes a dispenser just to destroy it? I mean, not only is my trailer indestructible from the outside, but it’s just a waste! Luckily he doesn’t go through with it as he just realizes what he’s doing. “Ah can’t do this!” Engie cried. Just then, Engie builds a level 3 sentry in front of the trailer door as well. “Alrighty then! Now ah can do it!” “You’re wasting you’re time you know.” Boorlie said as he just appears right next to him. “WHOA NELLY!” Engie yelled as he presses the detonator, destroying both his dispenser and sentry. “Aw man! Ah wasn’t ready yet!” “I heard you’re trying to pick off the best heist of your life against Flare, am I right?” Boorlie asked. “What are you tryin’ to say, partner?” Engie asked. “I can help you win your fight against him. I can help you pull the biggest heist that’ll definitely make you win the battle against him.” Boorlie suggested. “What makes you think ah need yer help?” Engie asked. “Because nopony is workin’ along side Flare. The two of us against him; he’ll be outnumbered.” Boorlie said. “That is true.” Engie nodded. “Two against one was always unfair to him. So you workin’ along side me will steal his chances of him workin’ along side someone! Perfect!” “Well… there’s that, and there’s also stealing something very valuable to him.” Boorlie said. “And what would that be? His special somepony?” Engie asked. “Nope!” Boorlie said. “His sister?” Engie asked. “Try again.” Boorlie said. “His leftovers?” Engie asked. “Close, but no.” Boorlie said. “His hats?” Engie asked. “We can’t take his hats; he’ll lose the challenge. That’s not what we’re trying to do.” Boorlie said. “That’s Markiplier you’re talking about.” Boorlie said. “His tiny box?” Engie asked. “Ah give up. What is it?” Engie asked. “His secret recipe for pizzas!” Boorlie said. “Oh right, but… wait… isn’t that what you want?” Engie asked. “Does that matter? What matters is that he doesn’t have it. It’ll ruin his business and he’ll have no choice but to surrender the battle to you.” Boorlie explained. “That makes sense to me, but why should ah help you?” Engie asked. “You and Flare are business rivals.” “Aren’t you and him rivals now too?” Boorlie asked. Engie thought it over and nodded. “Alright, Boorlie, you have a deal!” They shook hooves. “Excellent! Excellent!” Boorlie said. “Ah was actually here about to steal his fish.” Engie said. “Well now that we have the idea to have me the greatest chef in Eques- err, I mean, have the idea to help you win this battle, what we’re looking for isn’t here at his trailer; it’s at his shop.” Boorlie explained. “Ah think ah know exactly where it is.” Engie said. “Alright, you help me out, the recipe is yours!” “Excellent!” Boorlie said mischievously in a Mr. Burns tone. “Ah hope that’s not goin’ to be yer new catchphrase because it’s too expectin’.” Engie suggested. “Whatever, let’s get moving.” Boorlie suggested as he and Engie walk off and head over to my shop, but as they leave, Water opens the trailer door and takes a look around outside. “What happened?” Crème called out from inside. “I heard an explosion sound. Probably just firecrackers.” Water said. “Sounds delicious!” Crème said. “I wonder what kind of soup it comes with?” Water asked as she closes the door. So Engie and Boorlie sneak over to my shop. Since its night time, it’s still opened. They both hide inside a van carriage outside my shop and the two of them discuss the plan for the heist. “Alright so you know what you’re doing, right?” Boorlie asked. “Lay the plan on me again.” Engie requested. “Alright well, I took the liberty of taking snapshots when I was inside his shop earlier today for lunch.” Boorlie said as he shows Engie a heist planning board hanging on the wall of the van. “There are four security cameras in the dining room, two in the kitchen, and one in his office. The security keypad is located near the side entrance, so now I can hack them from inside this van. It wasn’t easy to breach security system but I was able to do it with some leftover Swinebutt Industries technology at the restaurant. Now the recipe is located in the safe in his office. The safe is indestructible, but the combination shouldn’t be hard to bypass. I have a hacking tool that I’m going to give you that should help you out. Ok so that leaves only one last decision: how to make your move inside the shop.” Boorlie gives Engie a list of choices now: “Ok, Engineer, we have two strategies of meanings of getting inside. Choice A: I have an employee on the roof of the place that’ll throw in some sleepy-time gas grenades and you’ll go in while everypony’s asleep, but if you do that, it’ll risk if other pony customers are coming inside to eat, they’ll see the sleeping ponies and they’ll call the police, so you’d have to be pretty quick to get through there. Choice B: Go in while everypony’s awake and that way, customers will come and go, but you’d have to be sneaky at the same time not trying to be suspicious. It’ll also risk one of the employees going inside the office to check on things. If you lock the door, it’ll be a bit more suspicious for the employees.” “Wow, so many choices. Ah wonder what to pick.” Engie thought. “Take your time in making the decision.” Boorlie said. Alright, readers! This is where you come in! You get to decide what Engie’s next step of action would be. Is he going to choose Choice A: going inside while everypony’s asleep, or Choice B: going in while everypony’s awake? For the first time ever, you get to pick what’s going to happen! But no matter what’ll happen, the end of the chapter will be the same. Now the first line when you scroll down a bit is choice A. Read the section until you reach the end of the line, because that’s where choice B is going to be. Scroll down pass choice A if you’d rather see B. You can read both if you want, I’m not stopping you. Depending on what website this story is going to be uploaded on, I’ll separate the sections by lines and color text. Choice A will be blue, and choice B will be red, but it just depends on what website you’re reading this on. Ok, after this paragraph starts choice A, but if you wanna see B first, skip the section until you reach the end of the line. Either choices are canon. --------------------------------CHOICE A: SLEEPY GAS-------------------------------------- “Ah’ll choice the sleepy gas, Boorlie.” Engie said. “Time to sing the customers and employees a little lullaby, but ah hope you mixed the gas correctly, otherwise it might be fatal for the ponies inside.” “Relax, my good chap; I assure you that the gas is mixed correctly. I wouldn’t dare put lives at risk just for my career.” Boorlie admitted. “Well that’s good.” Engie said. “So run this by me again.” “I have an employee on the roof of the building that’s going to throw in the gas. You’re going to be wearing this mask before you go inside so you wouldn’t be affected by the gas too.” Boorlie said as he gives Engie the gas mask. “You have to be quick in there though. Place this hacking device onto the safe and it’ll unlock it for you. Try to be swift though. If somepony alerts the cops, leave out the back door and I’ll pick you up.” “Sounds like a plan.” Engie nodded. “But ah don’t feel like this is right. This is a big heist we’re dealin’ with.” “Relax, Engineer, it’s only a secret recipe. This gas won’t even poison the food the ponies are eating, but ponies would act suspicious when they wake up.” Boorlie said. “So are you ready?” “Let’s do this!” Engie said. “Ah’m more ready than a doctor dismissin’ his patient!” A cutaway shows a pony visiting a doctor, reporting his condition. “So, doc, ever since I’ve been working at the Candy Kingdom theme park, my oral hygiene hasn’t been… up to par.” The patient reported. “Hmm… say ahhh.” The doctor requested. “Ahhhh.” The patient said as he opened his mouth and the doctor checks inside. “Mhm, yeah, I see a lot of swollen gums in there. I think they might be infected.” The doctor said. “No! That’s not good!” the patient panicked. “Well, just see a dentist and he or she will get the job done. Your teeth will be as good as new in no time!” the doctor said. “Thanks, doc!” the patient said. “Don’t mention it, slugger! Here, this’ll cheer you up!” the doctor said, offering a lollipop. “Thanks!” the patient said excitedly as he starts nibbling on it. “OW! This is delicious! I love lemon! OW! Love it! OWIE!” The cutaway ends. So Engie steps out of the van and sneaks over to the front of the shop. Engie is now wearing a gas mask and an ear piece communicator, and he has the hacking device for my safe. Engie’s now just waiting for the signal. “Engineer, you there, good chap?” Boorlie asked from the communicator. “Ah read ya loud and clear, Boorlie.” Engie said. “Ok, my employee is just about to drop the gas grenade into the vents on the roof. Everypony will be asleep. Give them 10 seconds to fall completely asleep, then head on in to Flare’s office and place the hacking device onto his safe. It’ll take about a minute to unlock the safe, so be quick about it, and make sure nopony looks inside.” Boorlie explained “Ah don’t think that’ll be a problem, Boorlie. Ah have an idea.” Engie said. “Whatever it is, don’t draw too much attention.” Boorlie said. “Ah won’t, don’t worry. In fact, it’ll draw attention away.” Engie said as he takes a sign out from behind the bushes and places it in front of the shop. The sign says, ‘2 for 1 sale at Boorlie’s BBQ’. “Nopony can resist a bargain!” “Bloody good thinking, good chap!” Boorlie said. “This will help me gain business as well as get ponies away from this shop.” “Ah’m known for mah good thinkin’, partner.” Engie said. Up on the roof, Boorlie’s employee drops the gas grenade inside the vents. “That’s it… they’re going out.” The employee said. “Your job is done; I’ll give you your pay-raise as long as you keep this a secret. Now get outta there!” Boorlie ordered him. Inside the shop, Bonnie was serving some food to some customers. “Here’s your garbage, sir. Dig in!” Bonnie said. “Thank you very much!” the customer said. “Is there anything else I can get you?” Bonnie asked as the gas was coming through the vents. “Nothing more really except for… umf… umm… a blanky?” the customer asked. “I thought I asked Flare to fix that A/C?!” Bonnie complained as she collapses on the ground along with some customers following her along. “Theeee son will come oooout… tomorrow!” Lyra sang as she started to feel all woozy. “Bet your bottom. I’M COMING ELIZABETH!” she shouts as she passes out. “They’re out.” Boorlie said on Engie’s ear piece. “Move in, and quickly!” So Engie runs inside my shop and finds everypony passed out on the floor. Luckily I wasn’t there. I just got away from the cops and I’m returning to Ponyville at this time in my world famous breakfast flying vehicle. “Alert: somepony is walking towards the shop.” Boorlie said as Engie runs into my office. “Where’s the safe?” Engie asked. “It’s behind the picture frame.” Boorlie said. “Which one? There’s a few of them in here.” Engie asked. “Just keep searching until you find it.” Boorlie said. So Engie searched behind the picture frames on the wall, and what he mostly found was blank walls. One of the behind the picture frame areas contained a small hole leading to another room. “What is this?” Engie asked as he looked through it. “It looks like a bathroom of some sort. Why does Flare have a hole looking at a bath- OH MAH FAUST!” Engie quickly puts the frame back into place and blushes. “What is Flare’s problem?” “Ok it turns out the pony that was coming near the shop was just walking by, don’t worry about it.” Boorlie said. There was one more picture frame hanging on the wall – my signed picture of Jeff Gorspeed. Although little did I know that the signature was fake. Anyways, he checked behind there and there was nothing there. “Ah can’t find the safe, Boorlie.” Engie said. “Ah looked behind all the photos and it wasn’t there.” “That’s impossible. The schematics clearly say- oh… hang on. There’s a pony heading near the front. Looks like he’s buying the sign. Good work, Engineer!” Boorlie said. “But what if the pony’s cravings say otherwise?” Engie asked. “Oh dear.” Boorlie said. “He’s trying to get inside the shop. Did you lock the door?” “Ah locked and shut off the lights. Ah also turned off the open sign.” Engie said. “Smart move!” Boorlie said. “Ok, looks like the pony is leaving. You sure dodged a bullet there! Now all you need to do is fine that safe. I don’t know why the safe isn’t there.” “Why does Flare still have this thing?” Engie asked as he was about to pick up my Jeff Gorspeed bobble head that Crystal broke back in chapter 10 of Book 2. The part of the wall that was behind the Jeff picture frame opens up and the safe has been revealed. “Ahhh!” Engie nodded. “Jeff bobble head, Jeff autograph! Ah get it!” “Jolly good job!” Boorlie said. “Now for the hacking device.” “Ah’m on it.” Engie said as he places the hacking device on the safe, presses a few buttons, and the device activates and starts finding the code. “Alright, Engineer! In just a minute the safe will be unlocked. Grab the secret recipe and bring it to me. This’ll bring Flare’s Pizza Parlor to an ultimate downfall! Nothing will stop us now!” Boorlie yelled in excitement. “I’d laugh, but I don’t find this that funny.” “45 seconds! Ah can smell the victory now!” Engie said excitement as he sniffs the air. “Smells like garlic and grease.” As Engie was tasting a sample of his victory, he took a look at one of the pictures hanging on the walls. It showed Engie and me on it. It was a picture of me grabbing Engie by the shirt and punching him in the face, but we were both smiling at the camera while we were at it. The picture right next to it shows Engie giving me a head-lock, which was making me suffocate. “What am ah doin’?” Engie asked himself. “You’re stealing Flare’s secret recipe. Just 30 more seconds to go!” Boorlie said. Engie started to gain some flashbacks of him and me, like the time we were fighting for an X-Wing at an auction, but together we found out it was fake. Also the time I had to go through a lot just to make Derpy’s hospital visit perfect by giving her all she wanted, and Engie helped me out so it would be a lot easier for me. Also remember the time Engie and I got sucked into a video game? We really helped eachother out there. Not to mention at Hearth’s Warming that the Noble Six and I helped Engie out with a couple of scammers pretending to be a donation institute for homeless fluffleponies. Engie and I went through a lot together, and Engie knew what he’s doing right now was just plain wrong. HA! I said it! “Flare is mah best friend. Why am ah doin’ this?” Engie asked as he started to tear up a bit. “Ah’m not gonna do this!” “You went through a lot already, Engineer! Don’t screw this up!” Boorlie instructed him. “All this over a stupid hanger? Forget it! Ah’m gonna do what ah should’ve done a long time ago! Ah’m gonna stop this hacking device, and-“ Engie got interrupted as the hacker already did the job. The safe lock was broken, and the safe opens. “Oh shoot!” “No matter! I’ll just go in there and grab the recipe myself!” Boorlie said. “Don’t try and stop me because imma comin’ in!” Boorlie hops out of his van and starts charging inside my shop, and- oh… yeah the door was locked. I guess he was stopped right there and then. “UGH! All this over a locked door! I can’t believe this!” ”You failed, Boorlie. Flare’s secret recipe is safe from harm!” Engie said. “For now.” Boorlie said. “But you just wait! It will be mine some day! Boorlie Pomodoro will once again be the most popular pizza chef in all of Equestria!” “Ah’d like to see you try.” Engie said as he unlocks the door and opens it. “Wait what?” Boorlie asked. ”Want to give it a try?” Engie asked. “Ah’ll letchya have yer chance!” ”OH BOY!” Boorlie said excitedly as he runs inside. “Secret formula here I…” Boorlie suddenly stops there and passes out on the floor. “Too bad there was only one gas mask. Heh heh heeeeh!” Engie chuckled. After a few minutes went by, everypony woke up. Everypony but Boorlie though since he fell asleep later. Engie dragged his passed out body out of my shop and he throws him into the dumpster outside. “Is this a little overkill?” Engie thought to himself. “Naaaaah!” Just then, my Wafflecopter comes by and lands in front of my shop. Blaze, Psyche, and I suddenly noticed that there was a hassle at my shop. “Uhh, what has happened here?” Psyche asked. "Psyche, who let you back in the chopper?" I asked. “Flare!” Engie yelled as he ran over to me. “Partner! Am ah glad to see you!” “Engie, what’s going on here?” I asked. “Ah have so much to tell you.” Engie said. “I’ll say! Why is there a van parked outside my shop?” I asked. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hope you enjoyed the first choice! Now let’s do this again but with a different choice. If you didn’t the first choice and you’re here, then… let’s start back from where Boorlie was giving Engie choices. ----------------------------------CHOICE B: SNEAKING IN--------------------------------- “Ah choose just goin’ in. Don’t wanna risk attention.” Engie said. “My good chap; you are indeed a smart one.” Boorlie said. “Ah’m known for mah smart thinkin’, partner!” Engie said. “But I hope you realize that the employees might be suspicious. I hope nopony catches you sneaking inside the manager’s office.” Boorlie said. “Ah might have some ideas. So can you run by the plan by me again?” Engie asked. “Well since my employee is on the roof for no reason now, he can leave.” Boorlie said on his walkie-talkie. “Alright, but you better give me my raise or I’ll the cops this!” the employee threatened him. Boorlie sighs. “Fine, whatever.” Boorlie then said to Engie, “Ok, so all you need to do is walk inside the restaurant. You need to get into Flare’s office without anypony noticing anything. Since I don’t think Flare’s here right now, his door might be locked, so you’ll need to unlock it but try to make sure the attention isn’t being directed to you. You might need to cause a distraction. Once you get inside the office, you’ll have find the safe and use this hacking device on it. Since his safe indestructible, you’ll have to use this hacking device instead to unlock the safe for you; either that or if you know the code, just put it in.” “Ah don’t know the code.” Engie said. “Then you’ll have to rely on the hacker.” Boorlie said. “Ah hope to trust this hacker more than ah could trust mah own self.” Engie said. A cutaway shows Engie on one of his matches. He was building his sentry and then he sees another red engineer walk by. “Hey JeffIsCool43!” Engie said to that engineer, and then another engineer runs by and Engie said, “Hey xxXWeeKillerXxx!” And then another red engineer runs by and Engie says, “Hey Red Engineer! Hey, you look like someone ah can trust since we share names. Can you look after mah stuff please?” “Why certainly.” The other engineer named Engie said in a French accent. “Thanks!” Engie said as he runs off. “Gentlemen!” the replica Engie said to a soldier and a pyro as they ran by. The cutaway ends. So Engie steps out of the van and sneaks over to the front of the shop. Engie is now wearing an ear piece communicator, and he has the hacking device for my safe. Engie’s now just waiting for the signal. “Engineer, you there, good chap?” Boorlie asked from the communicator. “Ah read ya loud and clear, Boorlie.” Engie said. “Ok, so what I need you to do is go inside without any suspicions, and try to unlock Flare’s office door when nopony is looking. When you get inside, find the safe and install the hacking device on it.” Boorlie explained. “It’ll take about a minute to unlock, but make sure nopony catches you inside.” “Ah think ah might have an idea.” Engie said. So Engie looks over and sees Crystal balancing a popsicle stick on her tongue. “Hey Crystal, yer assistance is required!” Engie called out. “What?” Crystal asked as the popicle stick drops from her tongue and lands on the ground. “Oh snap!” Inside the shop, Crystal walks up on stage and calls out, “Attention everypony! Attention! Who wants to see me balance a popsicle stick on my tongue?” “Oooooo! Fancy!” Lyra said. “Can you do a better job than Engie playing an accordion?” “I can do better than Cheese Sandwich playing an accordion, but I’m not playing an accordion! I’m balancing this popsicle stick on my tongue!” Crystal said. “I’m going to hold a record for the most time of balancing a popsicle stick on my tongue! Who’ll count?” “I will, I guess.” Bonnie volunteered. “Ok! Here we go!” Crystal said as she places the popsicle stick on her tongue and everypony in the shop pays attention to what she’s doing. “By the way I dropped this stick on the ground on a cow pile before putting this on my mouth.” “WHAT?!” Lyra yelled. “THAT’S JUST SICK!” Bonnie yelled. Just then all the customers all ran into the bathrooms so they could… let it all out. “What?! I cleaned it first!” Crystal said. “Nice distraction, Engineer!” Boorlie said on Engie’s ear piece. “With everypony in the bathroom, you can go inside Flare’s office without any bloody trouble!” So Engie walks over to my office, takes out a paper clip, adjusts it a bit, and he starts picking the lock to my office. “You can do that to a paper clip, Engie?” Crystal asked. “I thought they were just annoying pop ups on computers?” “Yer work here is done, Crystal. Thank you.” Engie said. “Ok then.” Crystal said as she starts walking out of the shop. “Maybe I should’ve used a blueberry flavored popsicle stick. I heard blueberries are lighter fruits than any other, so put that on a stick, and you have a very light stick! I guess that explains why I used a watermelon flavored stick, which was why it fell off my tongue before. Too heavy.” Engie eventually unlocks the office door and heads inside, but once the door opens, he topples over, as he didn’t expect it to happen. He then stands up and runs over to my desk. “Alright ah’m in; where’s the safe?” Engie asked. “It’s behind the picture frame.” Boorlie said. “Which one? There’s a few of them in here.” Engie asked. “Just keep searching until you find it.” Boorlie said. So Engie searched behind the picture frames on the wall, and what he mostly found was blank walls. One of the behind the picture frame areas contained a small hole leading to another room. “What is this?” Engie asked as he looked through it. “It looks like a bathroom of some sort. Why does Flare have a hole looking at a bath- OH MAH FAUST!” Engie quickly puts the frame back into place and blushes. “What is Flare’s problem?” “Ok it turns out the pony that was coming near the shop was just walking by, don’t worry about it.” Boorlie said. There was one more picture frame hanging on the wall – my signed picture of Jeff Gorspeed. Although little did I know that the signature was fake. Anyways, he checked behind there and there was nothing there. “Ah can’t find the safe, Boorlie.” Engie said. “Ah looked behind all the photos and it wasn’t there.” “That’s impossible. The schematics clearly say the safe should be right there. I don’t know why the safe isn’t there.” Just then, Engie heard a banging sound coming from the ear piece. “Hang on, somepony’s knocking on the door.” Boorlie opens the door and asks, “Yes? Can I help you?” “Yeah do you have any toothpicks?” Crystal asked. “I think that’s even lighter than blueberry popsicle sticks.” “Isn’t there toothpicks inside?” Boorlie asked. “Oh… I guess I should check.” Crystal said. “Nice van, by the way! It’s like from a spy movie or something. I think certain heist movies use vans like these.” “Are you quite finished?” Boorlie asked. “Ooo aren’t we pushy?” Crystal complained. “Good-bye.” Boorlie said as he closes the doors of his van, but then he opens then again and says, “Eat at Boorlie’s BBQ. Unlike Flare’s Pizza Parlor, we give you wet naps after you’re done eating. Save your trip to the bathroom so you don’t have to wash your hooves.” “But where’s the fun in exercise if you don’t walk to the bathroom?” Crystal asked. “Ugh! Whatever! Nevermind.” Boorlie sighs as he closes the door again and puts back on his headset so he can continue talking to Engie. “Sorry about that. Alright, so I’m not sure where that safe is.” “Why does Flare still have this thing?” Engie asked as he was about to pick up my Jeff Gorspeed bobble head that Crystal broke back in chapter 10 of Book 2. The part of the wall that was behind the Jeff picture frame opens up and the safe has been revealed. “Ahhh!” Engie nodded. “Jeff bobble head, Jeff autograph! Ah get it!” “Jolly good job!” Boorlie said. “Now for the hacking device.” “Ah’m on it.” Engie said as he places the hacking device on the safe, presses a few buttons, and the device activates and starts finding the code. “Alright, Engineer! In just a minute the safe will be unlocked. Grab the secret recipe and bring it to me. This’ll bring Flare’s Pizza Parlor to an ultimate downfall! Nothing will stop us now!” Boorlie yelled in excitement. “I’d laugh, but I don’t find this that funny.” “45 seconds! Ah can smell the victory now!” Engie said excitement as he sniffs the air. “Smells like garlic and grease.” As Engie was tasting a sample of his victory, he took a look at one of the pictures hanging on the walls. It showed Engie and me on it. It was a picture of me grabbing Engie by the shirt and punching him in the face, but we were both smiling at the camera while we were at it. The picture right next to it shows Engie giving me a head-lock, which was making me suffocate. “What am ah doin’?” Engie asked himself. “You’re stealing Flare’s secret recipe. Just 30 more seconds to go!” Boorlie said. Engie started to gain some flashbacks of him and me, like the time we were fighting for an X-Wing at an auction, but together we found out it was fake. Also the time I had to go through a lot just to make Derpy’s hospital visit perfect by giving her all she wanted, and Engie helped me out so it would be a lot easier for me. Also remember the time Engie and I got sucked into a video game? We really helped eachother out there. Not to mention at Hearth’s Warming that the Noble Six and I helped Engie out with a couple of scammers pretending to be a donation institute for homeless fluffleponies. Engie and I went through a lot together, and Engie knew what he’s doing right now was just plain wrong. HA! I said it! “Flare is mah best friend. Why am ah doin’ this?” Engie asked as he started to tear up a bit. “Ah’m not gonna do this!” “You went through a lot already, Engineer! Don’t screw this up!” Boorlie instructed him. “All this over a stupid hanger? Forget it! Ah’m gonna do what ah should’ve done a long time ago! Ah’m gonna stop this hacking device, and-“ Engie got interrupted as the hacker already did the job. The safe lock was broken, and the safe opens. “Oh shoot!” “No matter! I’ll just go in there and grab the recipe myself!” Boorlie said. “Don’t try and stop me because imma comin’ in!” Boorlie hops out of his van and starts charging inside my shop. Once he runs inside, he yells, “OH BOY! Secret formula, here I- WHOA!” Boorlie yelled as he slips and falls on a pile of toothpicks. “OW!” “Careful, Boorlie, I just spilled all the toothpicks trying to get one.” Crystal said. “I’LL SUE YA!” Boorlie yelled. “I’ll sue ya for everything you got, and soon there after, Boorlie Pomodoro will be the most famous pizza chef in all of Equestria!” “No you won’t sue, because you won’t remember anything.” Crystal said as she bucks him on the forehead. “I’ll sue ya for everything you got, and soon there after, Boorlie Pomodoro will be the most famous pizza chef in all of Equestria!” Boorlie yelled. Crystal than bucks him on the forehead again, hoping he’d pass out. “Are you my mummy?” he asked as Crystal bucks him in the head a third time and he eventually passes out. “Well then… that was certainly somethin’.” Engie said. “Glad to have you on board, Crystal! Thanks for yer help!” “Help? With what?” Crystal asked. “I was just minding my own business, and also making sure this pony forgets about me so he doesn’t sue me.” After a few minutes went by and everypony exits the bathroom after taking care of business. They all sickly walk out of my shop holding their stomachs. “I love this place, but I lost my appetite for this evening.” One of the customers complained. Engie drags Boorlie’s passed out body out of my shop and he throws him into the dumpster outside. Boorlie eventually comes back to his senses, rubbing his head and moaning in pain, but Engie slams the dumpster door back on him and he passes out again. “Is this a little overkill?” Engie thought to himself. “Naaaaah!” Just then, my Wafflecopter comes by and lands in front of my shop. Blaze, Psyche, and I suddenly noticed that there was a hassle at my shop. “Uhh, what has happened here?” Psyche asked. "Psyche, who let you in the chopper?" I asked. “Flare!” Engie yelled as he ran over to me. “Partner! Am ah glad to see you!” “Engie, what’s going on here?” I asked. “Ah have so much to tell you.” Engie said. “I’ll say! Why is there a van parked outside my shop?” I asked. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And so, that was both choices. Whichever choice you chose, they both lead up to this moment. Engie explains all that happened to me and I was quite shocked to hear his side of the story. “Holy Wizard of Feelings, man. I really drove you loco!” I said. “Yeah well, ah drove you loco first for takin’ yer hanger.” Engie admitted. “Ah apologize, partner.” “No, no, it’s my fault. It’s first come first serve; that’s the law of the land.” I said. “I should’ve known that before and none of this would’ve happened.” "Or as ah call it: dibs." Engie said. "Yeah...... dibs." I nodded. “Ah sure caused havoc in yer shop.” Engie said. “Yeah, well… this is going to give me bad reviews on my shop. I’m going to expect dark times ahead.” I said. “Even though Boorlie wasn’t able to steal my secret formula, he did cause my shop to make a downturn on interest rates. It’s going to take a lot to get back on track.” “And ah’ll help you all that ah can.” Engie said. “Thanks brah.” I said. “So that’s it? No more fighting?” Aqua asked. “No more fighting.” I said. “Even though Engie took your hanger, you don’t mind?” Blaze asked. “I do mind, but… I guess I shouldn’t let it bother me.” I said. “Ah can share the hanger with you, Flare.” Engie said. “We’ll split the rent 50-50. We can store mah plane and your helicopter.” “Make that rent 45-65, and I’m in!” I said. “Who gets the 65?” Engie asked. “You do, of course! 45’s my lucky number!” I said. “You got point there. Deal!” Engie accepted as we both shake hooves. “Oh and there’s somethin’ else ah should do for you, partner.” Engie places his hoof on my Blessings of the Night, and the necklace begins to glow, but as he presses against it, almost all my hats collapse off my head and land all over the place, leaving only three hats on my head still. “You can’t continue on without picking up all those hats, Flare.” Addie reminded me. “I’ll throw a shoe at you!” I yelled at him. “Rude.” Addie said. So I picked up all my hats, but why though? This chapter is over now! Engie now has his friendship inside my blessings necklace! Oh… well… I have one more scene to show you. Back at my trailer, I return home from work, wearing 15 hats on my head and 15 on my flank so now they’re easier to carry. I didn’t say WHERE I had to wear the hats now, did I? When I got home, Water was waiting for me and she was pretty aggregated. “There you are, Flare!” Water said angrily. “Hey sis!” I said. “Are you still mad that Crèmepop is sleeping on the couch?” “I don’t think I need to answer that question.” Water said. “Well I gave it some consideration, and you’re right. It seems a little harsh to let my special somepony sleep on my couch after asking her to live with me!” I said. “So I made my decision. Crèmepop is sleeping in my room with me.” “Really now?” Water asked. “These kissable lips don’t lie.” I said as I pointed to my lips. “Well that’s great news, bro! I’m glad you’re finally going to care more about your marefriend’s feelings!” Water said excitedly. “You got that right, sis!” I said as I winked at her. Later that night, I was in bed and I turn out the light. I then said to Crèmepop who was sleeping in my room with me. “Is this better?” “MUCH better!” Crème nodded. “Now you get to hear me snore all night!” I said. “Really?” Crème asked. “Sounds hot!” “I’m kidding, I don’t snore.” I teased. “THANK GOODNESS!” Crème yelled in relief. “Well, I hope you’re comfortable!” I said. “I am! Thank you very much, Flarey!” Crème said. “You’re welcome, Crèmey! Good night!” I said. “Good night!” Crème said as she falls asleep on her sleeping bag on the floor. Oh, right I forgot to mention; I cancelled the marriage with Engie’s mom and she was pretty upset, but Engie helped me program her to forget, so yay for me! As for Boorlie, however, well... I hope he's not too down at the dumps today!