//------------------------------// // Love Birds // Story: Friendship is Epic - Book 3: Blessings of the Night // by FlareGun45 //------------------------------// “A hush follows the crowd as Flare Gun studies the board.” I said to myself talking like an announcer and observing my white board in my office that contains the ingredients to a new dish I’m making, and I was about to add to the math. “He makes his move. He adds four cups of flour, he divides the number of sea salt, he changes amount of olive oil, he uses the low-fat cheese, adds more veggies in the sauce, and the last but not yeast the least! Crowd goes wild! Master Chef! Master Chef!” I chanted. “Flare?” Bon Bon said curiously as she stood beside my office door. “Master Chef- Bonnie.” I responded. I saw she was looking at my work, and I quickly flipped the board over and said, “Hey! Don’t look at my board!” “What’s that?” Bonnie asked, looking at the picture I drew that was on the other side of the board. “That’s a drawing of a really cool airplane.” I said. “You can’t look at that either.” I quickly covered the drawing. “What do you want?” “We just got a call from somepony by the name of… umm…. Lyra what was his name?!” Bonnie yelled from across the pizza shop. “Who?!” Lyra yelled back. “The one with the French accent! That chef!” Bonnie yelled. “Umm… Gu… Gustave…. Gustave le-“ Lyra yelled back but I cut her off. “Gustave le Grand?!” I gasped. “Yeah, that’s the name. Why? You know him?” Bonnie asked. “Know him?! He’s one of the greatest chefs that ever moved here from the Griffin Kingdom.” I said. “He makes some of the greatest fancy dishes in all of Equestria! Lots of Griffin traditions. Not the type of cuisine your average pony makes.” “Ah… I see. Well he’s coming over tomorrow at noon.” Bonnie said as she was looking over behind my back. “Stop looking at my board!” I demanded as I covered my board with my whole body. “Sorry, but that plane is distracting me.” Bonnie said. “Hisssss!” I hissed at her. “Alright, alright, I’m leaving now. I just wanted to let you know, alright?” Bonnie said. ”I read you loud and clear, Bonnie. Thank you. Now get out.” I demanded. Bonnie awkwardly leaves my office and shuts the door behind her. I started to talk to myself. “Wow. Gustave le Grand coming to my shop. This is better news than when One Direction went the other direction!” A cutaway shows the One Direction band walking into Ponyville, and talking with eachother. “Oy, love! I just love to perform for these pony folk.” Zayn said. “Jolly good, Zayn. I still wonder what shall we sing to them though.” Louis said. “It’s nice being a young boy band that young teenage fillies are obsessed over, and then shave their heads if they get a rumor of us having cancer.” Liam said. ”I think that was Justin Bieber, Liam.” Zayn corrected him. “Oh, speaking of which, he’s already in town.” Louis said, pointing out Justin Bieber playing on stage with lots of pony girls screaming. “Aww man! I hate that guy.” Harry complained. “Yeah, thinking that one kid can get all the chicks when it takes five of us to do that!” Niall complained. “I don’t care what our group name is, we’re going the other direction.” Liam said. “But our contract says-“ Harry was about to say, but Liam cut him off. “I don’t care what our bloody contract says! To the other direction we go!” Liam yelled as they walked the other direction. After that, an old pony sitting on a chair while wearing a robe and slippers, and with a pipe in his mouth while inside a library in front of fireplace says to you readers, “And from that day forward, One Direction was never heard from again. Amen.” The cutaway ends. Meanwhile over at Blaze's house, he was writing down a message to give to Princess Celestia, it reads: "Dear Princess Celestia, I'm filing this report because my daughter Rose is having problems with her phoenix powers. I realized, like unicorn foals, she's been having power surges and she needs to be controlled over it. I don't really know what to do, so I'd like to ask for that potion you sent to my father when I was having the same surges. I already asked Zecora, but she says she doesn't have the recipe with her. I was hoping you still have the recipe somewhere to give to her. My pet phoenix, Apollo, will be glad to send it to her. Thank you for everything. Your faithful subject, Blaze Goldheart." Blaze folds up the letter, places it in an envelope and licks the envelope shut. "Apollo?!" Blaze yelled. Blaze's phoenix Apollo flies over to Blaze and says, "Yes, Master?" "Would you kindly send this letter over to Princess Celestia?" Blaze asked, giving him the envelope. "Yes, master." Apollo said, taking it and about to fly off, but Blaze stopped him. "Wait!" Blaze yelled. "Yes, master?" Apollo asked. "First off, I know you like to call me 'master', and I'll let you, but quit calling me that every time you address me. It's really getting uncomfortable." Blaze said. "Yes, my owner." Apollo said. Blaze sighed and said, "Whatever. After you're done giving this letter to the princess, she'll give you a recipe to give to Zecora. Then right after Zecora makes the potion, send it to me. Alright? It's fairly urgent." "Okie dokie, owner." Apollo said and he flew off. "That bird is very loyal and honorable. A little too loyal and honorable." Blaze said to himself. "I really don't like it, like that one time he offered to be my pillow." A cutaway shows Blaze walking over to his bed so he can go to sleep. He lays on his bed, and he shuts the light. Blaze then hears a strange groaning sound in the dark. "Blaze, is that you?" Rainbow Dash asked. "No. Is it you?" Blaze asked. "If it was me, why would I be asking if it was you?" Rainbow asked. "She's got a point there." Apollo said. "Oh, right, thank you, Apollo." Blaze said. There was silence in the room for a few seconds, but then Blaze yelled, "Wait, Apollo?!" Blaze turned on the light and saw Apollo lying on bed where his pillow is supposed to be. "Hello, master." Apollo said. "Apollo, what are you doing? Shouldn't you be on your post?" Blaze asked. "You said your neck has been hurting lately, so I thought it was your pillow, and I couldn't find another pillow around the house, so I decided to be your pillow." Apollo said. "Why?" Blaze asked. "Isn't that my name? A pillow?" Apollo asked. "No, for the last time, your name is not 'A pillow', it's 'Apollo'." Blaze said. "I don't see a difference there, master." Apollo said. "Get back in your post!" Blaze ordered him. "Yes, master." Apollo said as he flew off the bed and back to his post. Blaze looks at Rainbow that just looks at him with a confused look on her face. "What?" Blaze asked. "To you, talking to that bird is like talking to another pony, but with me, it sounds like you both are tweeting at eachother. It's really weird." Rainbow said. The cutaway ends. Meanwhile, Apollo flies over Canterlot, watching the fancy-smancy Canterlot ponies, doing their fancy-smancy Canterlot pony things, like thinking they're superior to ponies from other towns, such as Ponyville. Really, those Canterlot ponies really are jerks sometimes; but enough of them, let's continue. Apollo flies over to Canterlot castle to Celestia's throne room. Really, I hate those Canterlot ponies sometimes. Oops, sorry, I got off-topic again. "Ah, hello Apollo!" Celestia said walking over to him and taking the letter and reading it. "Looks like Blaze needs some of that potion again, I see. Well, don't worry, Luna has the recipe right now." "Here you are." Luna said, giving the recipe to Apollo. "I hope this recipe helps Rose out with her power surges." "Wait, how did Princess Luna know about this?" Apollo asked himself, or so he thought. "I did." another phoenix in the room said to him. "I heard about the new draconian daughter Blaze has; I've been keeping an eye on her for a long time." Apollo gasped as he saw the other phoenix in the room. He had this strange feeling, his heart was pounding, and he was feeling cold and nervous. "Hello... I didn't know there was another phoenix around these parts." Apollo said nervously. "I did. Being Celestia's pet, I have to know everything she knows." the other phoenix said, and then took out her wing. "My name is Philomena by the way." "Apil... Apil... Apil..." Apollo was having a hard time saying his name. "Apollo?" Philomena guessed. "Ye-yeah... how did you know that?" Apollo asked. "A little 'birdie' told me." Philomena teased and giggled. Apollo chuckled along. "Yeah, I like to mess with other ponies, and now I like to mess with other phoenixes." "I see. I have some fish friends that like to tease me as well." Apollo said and continued chuckling. Philomena giggled and said, "Right. Well, it was great meeting you Apollo. I see you have some things you need to be doing." "What things?" Apollo asked. Philomena giggled and said, "What? You getting short-term memory-loss? I think one of your fish friends is starting to get to you." she teased. "Heh. I see what you did there. Finding Nemo reference." Apollo said. "What?" Philomena asked confusingly. "Oh, you never seen that movie?" Apollo asked. "Of course I am, I'm just messing with you, Apollo!" Philomena teased and laughed even harder. "Oh... right." Apollo said. Apollo was getting more and more nervous. He didn't know what this feeling was, and started to feel a little uncomfortable. He started to sweat. "So, yeah, you should take the recipe over to Zecora." Philomena suggested. "Huh? Oh that's right! Wow, you're right. I am getting short-term memory loss." Apollo chuckled and said. Philomenia giggled and said, "Well, you be on your way now. I hope to see you again soon!" She then places a piece of paper containing her phone number on Apollo’s wing. Apollo started to sweat nervously. "Y-yeah... you too." Apollo said as he started to fly away, but as he was flying, he missed the window and hit the wall. Philomena continued to giggle. Apollo just smiled embarrassedly and flew away. Apollo said to himself, "Wow. That was weird. I don't know what's going on with me. My heart is beating, I feel cold and nervous..." but before he could finish speaking, he flew into one of the flags at one of the castle towers, and struggled to get out, but finally did. "And I'm also being clumsy. It's odd... I'm never clumsy. Is there something wrong with me? Am I getting sick? Well, I know who can help me out in this situation. I'll go see them after I deliver this recipe to Zecora." Meanwhile, at my shop, I had to get the place ready for Gustave le Grand when he arrives. "Thanks for offering to help me out, brahs." I said as I was hanging a banner up on the wall that says 'Accueil (Welcome) Gustave le Grand'. "It's our pleasure, mate. It's not every day ya get a famous chef comin' to your store to try your food." Aqua said. "Yeah, I bet you're as excited as I was when Isaac Newtrot came to visit me!” Psyche said. A cutaway shows Psyche sitting at his couch after drinking so much cider, and somepony knocks on his door. Psyche walks over to the door, all dizzily and stuff, and opens it, revealing Aqua on the other side. “Hey, Psyche. Wind Racer is in need of toilet paper and we’re all out. Can we use a roll?” Aqua asked. “Isaac Newtrot? Is that you?” Psyche asked. “Have ya been drinkin’ apple cider with zap apple jam inside again?” Aqua asked. “No, sir, I do not know why they would name a random bear-type animal in the Everfree Forest as a star system.” Psyche said. “What?” Aqua asked. “What are you talking about? Steven Hawkwing is NOTHING compared to you, Mr. Newtrot.” Psyche said. Aqua thought for a second and then asked, “Hey, Mr. Illusion, have ya seen the Horsehead Nebula lately?” “Oh you need some toilet paper? Right away!” Psyche said excitedly as he walked over to the bathroom to get some. The cutaway ends. “Isaac Newtrot? Hey, I saw him at Sweet Apple Acres once!” Crystal said. Another cutaway shows Crystal at Sweet Apple Acres, and she sees AppleJack sitting on one of her trees, and just then, an apple falls on her head. “OW!” AppleJack cried. “Nice, AppleJack! You discovered gravity!” Crystal said. The cutaway ends. “So you saw AppleJack get hit in the head with an apple?” Psyche asked. “Eeyup!” Crystal said. “I thought you said you saw Isaac Newtrot there?” Psyche asked. “Yes I did. He’s the apple, right?” Crystal asked. “No, he’s a pony that got hit in the head with an apple.” Psyche corrected her. “But when I was at school, I heard the teacher call this the Isaac Newtrot Theroy.” Crystal said. She took out an apple and glared at it. “What you told me was a lie!” “Your teacher was an apple?” Engie asked. “Ok, we got off-topic for too long there.” I said. “Anyways, yes, I’m very excited that Gustave le Grand is coming. I’m getting Bon Bon and Lyra to work extra hard for this occasion.” Bon Bon was sitting on the counter reading a magazine, and Lyra was sleeping on one of the booths. “I said I’M GETTING BON BON AND LYRA TO WORK EXTRA HARD!” I repeated myself. “We heard you.” Bonnie said. “That means you have to work harder.” I said. “We will, but is Gustave le Grand here right now?” Bonnie asked. “No.” I said. “Then we don’t have to work extra hard yet.” Bonnie said, continuing to read the magazine. “Right…. alright.” I said. “Jeez Flare, yer really soft on your employees, aren’t ya?” Engie asked. “Do I have a reason to be nasty to them, Engie?” I asked. “No, not at all. I’m just sayin’.” Engie said. “Flare, mind if I make a suggestion?” Aqua asked. “Of course, brah! “ I said. “Well, what-“ Aqua said but got cut off by Crystal. “He said ‘of course’, Aqua.” Crystal corrected him. “Yeah, so?” Aqua asked. “That means he does mind.” Crystal said. “Sorry, that actually came out wrong. I meant to say I don’t mind.” I corrected myself. “Oh.” Crystal said. “So my suggestion is: for a fancy chef, ya will need a fancy atmosphere.” Aqua said. “Like the silverware ya have isn’t really silver. It’s plastic and painted to look silver.” “So?” I asked. “It’s just a suggestion.” Aqua said nervously. “Also these chairs are wooden. Chairs in fancy restaurants are like cotton. Not to mention, you don’t have a chandelier.” “Chandelier? Isn’t that a little too much?” I asked. “Ya’re right. I shouldn’ve mentioned that.” Aqua said. “No, dude, you should totally make this place look fancier.” Crystal agreed. “Doesn’t it look fancy enough?” I asked. “Not for a chef like this, it isn’t.” Engie said. “Well, I’ll keep you in charge of making this place look fancier, Aqua.” I said. “What?!” Crystal and Engie both asked surprisingly. “Why?” Crystal asked. “Well, Aqua was the one that suggested it.” I said. “It’s true.” Psyche said. “And you Psyche, I want you to make sure Bonnie and Lyra get everything ready. While I’ll go and get some food for Gustave, somepony needs to make sure they do their jobs.” I said. “Wow, despite being the one that takes the garbage in your group, it sounds you’re giving me the best job.” Psyche said. “Shut up, Psyche.” I said as I give him a giant trash bag. “Now take this to the dumpster out back.” “And there’s the garbage.” Psyche said with an annoyed tone. “Crystal, Engie, do whatever Aqua says in getting this place ready, alright?” I asked. “Mmhm.” They both said. “ALRIGHT?!” I repeated myself, making sure they get the message. “Yes, we get it!” Engie and Crystal said in an annoyed tone. “Good. I already got a list of things I need to get. T-T-Y-L.” I said as I walked out of the shop to get some stuff to refill the shop’s pantry. “Ah don’t call dibs on this.” Engie said. Meanwhile, over at my trailer, inside the fish tank, Piddles was fast asleep near the barrel. Darrel was swimming around and saw Piddles asleep, and his brain hatched an idea. So Darrel swam inside the castle and went through the pile of junk inside, or what sounded like a pile of junk, and he takes out a cup and swims back to Piddles and places quietly takes his fin, and places it inside the cup. Darrel started giggling, but as it turns out, Piddles wasn’t completely asleep. “Yeah, this prank doesn’t work when we’re already under water.” Piddles said with his eyes still closed. “Why? This water already feels warmer. I’d say the prank DID work.” Darrel said. “Really? Because my bladder didn’t release.” Piddles said. “Huh? Oh yeah, that was me.” Darrel blushed and swam away quickly. Just then, while Rainbow and Yoyo were playing cards (yes, the fish have playing cards), they heard a SLAM impact over at the window above the tank. “What was that?” Yoyo asked. “I don’t know. Sounded like it came from the window.” Rainbow said. “Really? We’re under water and we heard that? What is logic coming to?” Dorthey asked. Rainbow swam over to the top of the tank, and looked out the window and saw their friend Apollo that smashed right into it. “It’s Apollo.” he said. “Wow, what a clumsy ol bird.” Dorthey said as she started swimming over to the bottom of the tank. Once she got to the bottom, she started swimming fast over to the top of the tank so she can jump out and open the window, and jump back inside the tank to breathe. Apollo flew inside my bedroom, rubbing his bumped head and said, “Thank you, Dorthey.” “What was that all about?” Rainbow asked. “Yeah, normally you’re not that clumsy.” Yoyo said. “I apologize deeply for that clumsy entrance, my aquatic friends, but I think I’m feeling a little ill.” Apollo said. “And you seriously thought of coming to us?” Dorthey asked. “I didn’t know where else to go. Since you six are my closest friends, I thought you might know what’s going on with me.” Apollo said. “We’re not doctors, dude.” Yoyo said. “I know, but even though I’m feeling ill, it feels like a strange type of illness. All other illnesses I used to have was caused by old age, colds, and feather flu, but I never had this feeling before.” Apollo said. “Well, how do you know you’re ill? Do you have a stomach ache?” Rainbow asked. “Not really.” Apollo said. “How does your head feel?” Rainbow asked. Apollo feels his head and says, “I don’t know.” “How can you not know?” Dorthey asked. “I just don’t, alright?!” Apollo yelled. “Whoa, what’s with your attitude?” Piddles asked. “I’m sorry, but this feeling started when I got to Canterlot castle to deliver something for my master.” Apollo said. “Don’t say ‘your master’, say Blaze.” Darrel instructed him. “Why does everyone have a problem with me calling him ‘master’?” Apollo asked. “Because you’re acting like you’re his slave, and slaves are a no-no.” Darrel said. “Sorry. So when I got to the castle, I met this phoenix named Philomenia.” Apollo said. “AHHHH! Stop right there, Apollo!” Pearl said. “What?” Apollo asked. “I think I may know what your problem is!” Pearl said excitedly. “You? Please, you don’t even know your own reflection from another fish.” Yoyo teased. “That was Piddles, not me.” Pearl corrected him. “And that other fish still bothers me!” Piddles said angrily. “So, what’s my problem, Pearl?” Apollo asked. “It’s no problem, it’s a type of happiness.” Pearl said. “You’re in-love!” “In… ‘love’?” Apollo asked. “Exactly! In… looooooooove!” Pearl said as she placed her fin over her head and leaned back on Piddles, and Piddles just rolled his eyes. “So this is what love is? Love feels like a type of illness?” Apollo asked. “Well, kinda. You see, you’re normally never around other phoenixes. Like Spike, you’re a species that was raised by ponies.” Pearl said. “Yeah?” Apollo asked. “So that means you don’t know really how a phoenix feels like what other phoenixes feel. You think your love is wrong, but it’s not. It’s very, very right.” Pearl said. “I suppose that makes sense.” Apollo said. “Of course it makes sense, we’re fish!” Darrel said. “Oooook.” Apollo said confusingly. “So what should I do?” “You should take this other phoenix you met on a date.” Pearl suggested. “A… date?” Apollo asked. “Yes, a date!” Pearl said. “But I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.” Apollo said. “Don’t worry, Apollo. I’ll teach you everything I know to get ready for your date. Before I become Flare’s pet, I used to date this clown fish.” Pearl said. A cutaway shows Pearl on a date with Marlin from Finding Nemo. “Hey, thanks for taking me out on this date, Marlin. This is very nice.” Pearl said. “Yeah, well, I did lose my wife recently, and I didn’t ever want to forget her. But I should do what she’d want me to do. Move on.” Marlin said. “Oooook, an awkward conversation for a first date: talking about your wife.” Pearl said awkwardly. “Would you care for some hors d'oeuvre?” a waitor fish asked as he placed some coral bits on the table. “Ah… Coral. That was my last-wife’s name.” Marlin said sadly, looking at the food. “Uh huuuuuh.” Pearl said awkwardly. “You know, she used to love eating this stuff. It was her favorite. Well, that and leftover of other fish, like our neighbor, Sandy Plankton’s uncle: Sheldon J. Plankton.” Marlin said. “I didn’t think clownfish ate plankton.” Pearl said. “They….. don’t.” Marlin said as he started getting teary eyed and started crying on the table hysterically. “I MISS YOU, CORAL! I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF NEMO WITHOUT YOU!” Just then Marlin stopped crying and said, “Oh no, NEMO! I left him at home! I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to him!” Marlin got up quickly and swam away back to his home to check up on him. “Your son lives in a sea anemone!” Pearl yelled out. “He should be safe in- ah, forget it. He’s not my type anyway. Hey, waiter? Can I get my food to go, please?” The cutaway ends. “How did you meet a clownfish anyway, Pearl?” Yoyo asked her. “Clown fish live in the sea, and you’re a fresh water fish.” Meanwhile, I was getting my food for the shop. I left the market and started walking to Fluttershy’s house. “Ok, I got most of the stuff I need for Gustave le Grand; now all I need is some of that spice that makes food shrink. Fancy folk love to eat small portions and spend a lot of money buying it. I’m pretty sure Fluttershy has some.” I said to myself as I walked towards her house. Just before I knocked on her door, I heard her voice yell from inside. “HEEELP!” Fluttershy sounded like she was in trouble, but I couldn’t be rude, so I had to knock anyway: Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” “COME IN, HURRY!” Fluttershy yelled. I opened the door and ran inside. I heard some water running upstairs so I ran upstairs towards her bedroom. I knocked on her bedroom door: Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” “I’m in the bathroom!” Fluttershy yelled. “Should I come back in a better time?” I asked. “Please, get in here!” Fluttershy yelled. “Hurry!” So I opened her bedroom door and ran towards her bathroom door, and was just about to knock again. “Please don’t knock again.” She asked. So I didn’t knock again; I just opened the door and went inside, and saw Fluttershy laying down in her bathtub. Angel was behind her, trying to lift her out of the tub, but she was too heavy for him. “Hello.” I said awkwardly. “Flare, I slipped in here, and I think I dislocated my shoulder.” Fluttershy said, holding her right shoulder. “Hmm, no big surprise there. You don’t have a safety mat or adhesive stickers to help keep balance.” I said. “Wh-what?” Fluttershy asked confusingly. “Tubs are slippery.” I said. “I know, I slipped.” Fluttershy said. “I have a series of whimsical duck stickers on the bottom of my tub.” I said. “That’s nice, I’m sorry to interrupt Flare, but can you please help me out of my tub?” Fluttershy asked. So I went over to Fluttershy’s tub, turned off the shower, and went over to her and helped Angel carry her out. “They’re holding umbrellas.” I said. “Wh-what?” Fluttershy asked. “The ducks in my tub; they hold umbrellas.” I said. “Right.” Fluttershy said. “Flare, I’m really scared right now. I never had broken anything in my body in my entire life.” “It’s fine, just let me take you to the hospital.” I suggested. “Wait… th-the HOSPITAL?!” Fluttershy gasped. “Yeah, the hospital. Don’t you know you go to a hospital when you dislocate your bones, in this case, your shoulder?” I asked. “Yes, but…. I… hate hospitals.” Fluttershy whimpered. “I do too, but we have to go.” I said. “Are you sure? I… I think my shoulder is feeling better already.” Fluttershy faked a smile and said. “You sure?” I asked. “Yes. 100%.” Fluttershy faked a smile and squeed. “Oh yeah? Prove it. Stand on your hoof.” I instructed her. “Umm… ok.” Fluttershy said nervously. She takes her left hoof, her good hoof, and stands on it. “See? No harm done!” “Ok, now stand on your right hoof.” I instructed her. “Oh, you see…. umm… today is natural…. Don’t Stand on Your Right Hoof Day.” Fluttershy lied and nervously squeed. “Really? I never heard of this holiday.” I said. “Yeah, this is a brand new holiday.” Fluttershy said. “I can tell.” I said. “You just made it up. Now, stand on your right hoof.” “D-do I have to?” Fluttershy asked. “It’s either your stand on your hoof, or I’m taking you to the hospital.” I said. “Oh…. well, umm… you see…. umm….” Fluttershy thought. Angel hoped over towards Fluttershy and lightly pokes her right shoulder. “OW!” Fluttershy yelled, but then she fakes a smile and says, “Angel, don’t stab me with a thumb tack; that goes on walls, you silly bunny.” “Here, I got an idea. Let’s vote.” I suggested. “Who here wants Mama Fluttershy to go to the hospital?” Angel and I both raised our arms. “Ok, now who here objects?” Fluttershy tries to raise her right hoof but yells, “OW!” “Ok, so that’s 2 points for yes, and 0 points for no.” I said. “Aw c’mon, that’s not fair!” Fluttershy whined. “Fluttershy, if we don’t take you to the hospital, you’re gonna live with that dislocated shoulder forever. Do you want to live with a dislocated shoulder forever?” I asked. “Well…. I….. no.” Fluttershy said sadly. “Exactly. Now, let’s take you to the hospital and have that shoulder looked at.” I advised her. “B-but we can’t!” Fluttershy yelled. “Why not?” I asked. “Because…. because…. I can’t afford it, yeah!” Fluttershy excused. “I’ll pay for it, don’t worry.” I offered as I held Fluttershy up from her right side and escorted her down the stairs and out the door. “Oh, you don’t have to do that. Believe me, I can find another way. I-I can try to heal myself. Oh dear….” Fluttershy said frightenedly. Back at my trailer, Pearl was leaning out of the fish tank and decorated Apollo’s feathers on his head. “So, uhhh, Pearl; you think Philomena would be right for me?” he asked. “Of course, Apollo! Most phoenixes in the wild are easily to attract, or so I heard, I mean, Flare discovered Crèmepop in the wild, so it makes sense; and you with a phoenix such a Philomena, who’s barely around other phoenixes, she’ll totally dig you.” Pearl said. “If you’re sure.” Apollo said. “Of course I’m sure.” Pearl said. “And you need to look your best for her.” “No, Pearl, it’s not always looking your best.” Dorthey corrected her. “Apollo, the best thing you can do is be yourself, no matter how you look.” “C’mon, Dorthey. How’s this girl going to be with someone like Apollo here if he doesn’t look nice?” Pearl asked. “I’m not saying he shouldn’t look nice, I’m just saying: what makes a true relationship take off is if the girl likes him for his soul.” Dorthey said. “A girl liking him for his soul? Sounds like a relationship for a ghost.” Yoyo teased. “Well, we’ll see who’s laughing when Apollo gets to go on a date with royalty.” Pearl said, putting the finishing touches on his head feathers. “Yes, I can already imagine the royal wedding between the two.” Darrel said. “All we’ll need is a rental of the Canterlot castle ballroom, flowers fillies, a reception, a good cake, an in-law being too sensitive of the spouse’s feelings, and for the finishing touches: Changelings!” “Changelings? How is Changelings going to help for this wedding?” Yoyo asked. “Isn’t that what made the last royal wedding some amazing?” Darrel asked. “Aren’t all royal weddings like that?” “Not that I know of.” Yoyo said. “Pearl, do you know?” “My knowledge of royal weddings is limited.” Pearl said. “Alright, Apollo! There you go! Your hair looks great!” “I don’t have hair, I have feathers.” Apollo corrected her. “Well, here, take a look.” Pearl said, offering Apollo a mirror. Apollo took a look at his feathers on his head that’s arranged to look Afro. Apollo just looked at his hairstyle, and just stared weirdly at it. “Ummm.” He thought it over. “Soooo, what do you think?” Pearl asked. “I really don’t know how you arranged my feathers to look like this.” Apollo said. “Well, do you like it?” Pearl asked. “Well…..” Apollo tried thinking about what to say without hurting Pearl’s feelings. Apollo looks down at Pearl and sees her with big puppy dog eyes and a big smile. “It’s something alright.” He said. “Of course it’s something. It’s impossible for it to be nothing.” Yoyo said. “But what I’m trying to say is: it’s not what I visioned.” Apollo said. Pearl raspberries and said, “Whatever. You’re just not a big fan of basketball players, are you?” “I really don’t know how you made my feathers look like this.” Apollo said shockingly. “It’s all in a day’s work.” Pearl said smiling. “Now what you need is a good amount of powder!” Pearl puffs a lode of powder on Apollo’s face. His whole face was white and Apollo started to cough. “Are you sure this is really necessary, Pearl?” Apollo asked. “Absolutely. You look like an angel, Apollo!” Pearl said. “What?! Is Apollo dead?!” Darrel freaked out. “Darrel, if he were dead, he would’ve burnt up and then gets reborn.” Dorthey corrected him. “Oh how the phoenix reproduction cycle is strange. So very strange.” Piddles shook his head and said. “Yeah, the first time I got burnt up, I didn’t know what was going on. I was getting a little scared. All this resurrection business can really give you a headache.” Apollo said. “Looks like you could’ve used an Aspirin.” Yoyo said, carrying a container of Aspirin. “Hold on there, Yoyo. Aspirin may take the pain away for a little while, but did you know Aleve can stop the pain all day long?” Dorthey asked while carrying an Aleve container. “Wow, that’s 3 times longer than Aspirin!” Yoyo said excitedly while throwing the Aspirin container aside. “Be sure to ask your doctor first.” Dorthey said. “Yeah about that, why do commercials always ask the viewers to ask their doctors before taking the medications?” Piddles asked. “To avoid lawsuits.” Dorthey said. “Really? Are you sure they’re not just saying that just to make sure the viewers don’t overdose?” Yoyo asked. “What universe are you in, Yoyo?” Dorthey asked. “Look, I appreciate your suggestions, but this isn’t getting any closer of me getting ready for my date.” Apollo said. “Relax, Apollo, we’ll get to that, but for now, let me take off that mask.” Pearl grabs Apollo’s wig and powder and removes it from his face. The powder was pretty sticky, so it pretty much removed some of his feathers. “OUCH!” Apollo yelled. “Ok, now that your face is clear with any unwanted pimples and warts, you’re ready to ask that phoenix out!” Pearl said excitedly. “Wait a minute, what was this powder and hair for?” Apollo asked. “It was one of my homemade mud masks.” Pearl said. “Mind if I give that mask and wig a try?” Darrel asked. “I’ll paint some makeup on there, and it’ll look like I’m a basketball player mime.” A cutaway shows somepony listening to the game on the radio. “We now return to Mime Basketball.” “Oh cool, the game’s on.” The pony listened to what’s going on in the game, and normally you’d hear the basketball being dribbled across the court with the audience cheering and the announcer commentating everything, but there was no sound. It’s a mime game, everything was muted. “Why is this game even on the radio?” the pony complained. The cutaway ends. “So you going to fly over to Canterlot to ask her out?” Rainbow asked. “I don’t know.” Apollo said nervously. “No, that’ll take too long, he should call her.” Pearl suggested. “Do you have Philomena’s number?” “Actually, I do.” Apollo said, showing it to her. “Fabulous! Now, the phone is over there near the computer, you should give her a call.” Pearl suggested. “You serious?” Apollo asked. “Is the Cocoa Puffs bird kuku for Cocoa Puffs?” Pearl asked. “I…. guess so.” Apollo said. “Then that answers your question. I guess so.” Pearl nodded. “How can you guess that you’re serious?” Dorthey asked. Apollo looks over to my computer desk and sees the phone laying there; face down right next to the keyboard. Apollo slowly flies over to it and tries to pick it up with his wing, but it keeps sliding off. “Come on, you stupid thing! Stay…. there!” Apollo started to get impatient while trying to keep hold onto the phone, until eventually it fell on the floor. “I can’t do it. My wings cannot hold the phone.” “What about your feet? Don’t your feet have fingers?” Rainbow asked. “Oh…. right.” Apollo said in a ‘duh’ tone. He picks up the phone with one of his feet and tries to dial the number, but he was too nervous to do so. “What’s wrong, Apollo?” Yoyo asked. “I can’t do it.” Apollo said. “Phoey! Don’t give up now. There’s a lovely girl out there, and she’s waiting for you to call.” Dorthey said. “I bet she’s writing in her diary and screeching at her friends about this like a bunch of teenage fillies.” A cutaway shows a couple of teenage fillies talking on their cell phones. The one we’re looking at right now is laying on her bed on her stomach with her hind hooves in the air. “Oh my gosh! I so totally gave this colt my number, and now I’m like, waiting for him to call. I got my legs shaved just for the occasion!” the filly on the bed said. “Oh my gosh, no way. Shaving your legs when your entire body is actually fur, that is like, so totally gross.” The filly on the other line said. “Yeah, totally! That’s why I did it.” The filly on the bed said. The cutaway ends. “Well, what I’m saying is, I think I’m a little too nervous. I never talked to another phoenix on the phone before.” Apollo said nervously. “Here, gimmie the phone.” Piddles demanded. “What? Why?” Apollo asked. “Just give it to me.” Piddles demanded again. “Won’t the phone short out when it comes in contact with water?” Apollo asked. “Relax. Flare accidently dropped his last phone in the tank once, now they’re all water proof.” Piddles said, sticking his fin on top of the tank. “Well….. ok.” Apollo said, giving the phone to Piddles, and Piddles carries it down to the bottom. “Whoa, Piddles, you’re strong! How can you carry that heavy phone with your weak little fins?” Darrel asked. “Ok first off, that was a little uncalled for. Second, we’re under water; physics change.” Piddles said as he started dialing. “What are you going to do?” Apollo asked. “You’ll thank me for this.” Piddles said as the phone started ringing. As Philomena reached the other line, Piddles started talking in Apollo’s accent. “Hello, deary, this is Apollo Goldheart.” “Are you crazy, Piddles?!” Apollo whispered angrily. “I agree; it’s good to hear from you too!” Piddles said to Philomena. “Sooooo what are you wearing?” “What sort of question is that, Piddles?” Rainbow asked. “You’re not wearing anything, huh?” Piddles asked. “Yes, I know you’re a phoenix. No, the question is not important. Hey, listen, I want to meet up with you. What time will you be available? 5 is good for me!” Piddles looked over at Apollo and nodded, and Apollo just glared at him. “I’ll let you know with the time and place, but in the meantime, keep it real, babe!” Piddles hangs up the phone and looks at Apollo and said in his normal voice, “You may thank me now.” “For what? Making me sound like Nicolas Cage?” Apollo asked. “I just got you a date with royalty, you should be thanking me. Why aren’t you thanking me? Rude!” Piddles complained. “Uhh…. thanks?” Apollo said. “That was weak. I’m going back to sleep.” Piddles said as he swam inside the barrel. “So ungrateful.” “Well, regardless, you have no choice now. You got yourself a date, and you should look fabulous for it!” Pearl said. “I dunno, Pearl. I’m still a little nervous.” Apollo said. “It’s the waiting, dear. The waiting is the worse part.” Pearl said. “But once you finally make eye contact with her, you’ll do just fine.” “I hope so, my aquatic friends. I really hope so.” Apollo said in a low-tone voice. Meanwhile, in the middle of town, Angel and I were carrying Fluttershy over to the hospital. She was still afraid, but we couldn’t let her injuries be fatal. Angel was getting tired, and he was about to let her down and rest. “Oh no you don’t, wabbit! There will be no resting until your owner gets safely to the hospital.” I instructed him. Angel started to whine and wipe the sweat from his forehead. “If she doesn’t go to the hospital, her injuries maybe fatal, and she may never be able to feed you again.” Angel sighed and continued to hold her up. Fluttershy was still shivering in fear. “Wow, Flutters, you look cold.” I said. “I’m nervous.” She said. “Well…. tou’re going to be unlucky in the hospital because the hospital is going to be even colder.” I said. Flutters glared at me and said sarcastically, “Yes, thank you, that really helps.” “No problemo, sista. That’s what friends are for; they warn eachother about freezing places, in this case: the cold-arctic hospital.” I said. Angel drops Fluttershy, climbs over to my face and slaps it. “Ok, I think I had that one coming.” I said. “Here, I got something that might help. Normally conversation makes a good distraction of making other’s forget their fears, or at least it won’t bother them that much.” “Ok, what do you want to talk about?” Fluttershy asked. “Let’s talk about freezing cold doctor’s offices.” I said. “NO!” she yelled. “I-I thought this was supposed to get me to forget my fear?” “I am. I’m talking about doctor’s offices, not hospitals.” I reminded her. “Aren’t they relatively similar?” she asked. “Kinda, but unlike hospitals, there’s less of a chance of getting a needle.” I said. Fluttershy gasped real deep. “Ok, was that not helping?” “Not really.” She said in a squeaky voice. “I apologize for that.” I said. “Angel, slap me again.” “No, no. That won’t be necessary, Angel.” Fluttershy said to him. “Here, want me to start off the conversation instead?” “Sounds good. It’ll get our minds off the freezing needles.” I said. Fluttershy then gasped again. “Oh, right…. sorry.” “Are you teasing me, Flare?” she asked. “No I am not.” I said. “You sure you’re not doing this on purpose?” she asked. “I hate needles too. Really, I cannot take a simple blood test without punching a nurse in the face.” I said. “Oh…. my.” Fluttershy said shockingly. “I know.” I said. “I punched the nurse on purpose the time he wouldn’t give me any lollipops.” “Ok, Flare, this conversation is really making me feel uncomfortable.” Fluttershy said. “Fair enough. You still have yet to start your own conversation.” I reminded her. “So why did you come to my house before; oh, if you don’t mind me asking.” She asked. “I needed to borrow some spices. A famous chef is coming to my shop later, but since he’s a super fancy chef, I thought I should decorate the place a bit.” I said. “Oh, well, maybe you should go back to that.” Fluttershy suggested with a fake smile and let out a little squee. “No need. I got my friends to handle that. I wonder how they’re doing right now?” I asked. Back at my shop, Aqua was checking the checklist to see what sort of things they should add to my shop before Gustave le Grand comes. “Hey, Aqua, check this out; ah got this mini-bar installed in Flare’s office so it looks more like a lounge.” Engie said. “But there’s a whole bar right there in front of the kitchen, Engie.” Aqua pointed out. Engie looks over and sees the bar. “Well, regardless, this place is really gonna look fancy by the time we’re done with it.” He said. “You do realize this is all coming out of Flare’s funding, right?” Psyche asked. “Yes, he’s trusting us to get this place in tip-top shape, but at the same time, Flare has to keep his funding for what he really needs.” Blaze said. “Blaze, since when were you here?” Engie asked. “I was here the whole time. Nopony bothered to notice.” Blaze said. Suddenly, Crystal starts trotting inside the shop, humming to herself. “Where have ya been, Crystal?” Aqua asked. “The delivery truck will be here momentarily.” Crystal said. “Delivery truck? What do we need a delivery truck for?” Aqua asked. “To deliver stuff, duh!” Crystal said in an obvious tone. “Hey, have you guys seen Lyra and Bon Bon?” Psyche asked. “Ah saw them in Flare’s office a little while ago.” Engie said. “Oh come on! Why do they have to keep slacking off?” Psyche complained as he started marching over to my office. Aqua looked at the checklist again to see what they have so far. “Ok, so we have the new chairs, the new lined Hearth’s Warming lights going from across the ceiling, we have actual silverware, not the fake kind, we got- bla bla bla, etc. etc. Oh yes, the last thing we need is those foods that Flare is getting from the market. Yep, I think we were a success.” Aqua said as he presses the little button on top of a pen so the lend can pop back inside. “But we’re not done yet. Crystal and ah ordered a few other stuff, and we’re still waitin’ for the delivery truck.” Engie said. “But what else is there?” Aqua asked. “A grand piano, a chandler, a water fountain-“ Crystal explained, but Aqua cuts her off. “Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Crystal! That seems a little much, doncha think?” Aqua asked. “But it’s Flare’s money, not ours.” Engie said. “If Flare finds out how much we’re puttin’ into this place, he’ll freak out, and I’m responsible.” Aqua said. “Relax, Aqua. Everything will be fine. Flare’s loaded; he runs a very successful pizza shop! Everything will be fine.” Crystal said. “I hope ya right about this.” Aqua said. “Yeah, I was in Flare’s office; I found Lyra and Bonnie, I told them to come out, but they just said I’m not the boss of them, and they threw a bit at me and told me to get a manicure.” Psyche said. “Well ah agree with them there. Ya could use a little manicure, Psyche.” Engie said, looking at one of his hooves. “How many times do I have to say it though? I’m not a mare!” Psyche yelled. We return with Fluttershy and I, and we were getting so close to the hospital. Fluttershy was getting more and more nervous by the second. "Are we almost there?" she asked in a shivering voice. "Yes we are." I said. Fluttershy's eye pupils shrunk and she was shivering, but at the same time sweating. It's really weird how fear works; you sweat and you shiver at the same time, it's like you forget what 'temperature' is; same goes with being sick, but Fluttershy's injury is a type of sickness if you ask me. "Don't worry, Mama Flutters. Your injury will be gone soon. You may need a few stiches here and there, but I think you'll do fine. It's nothing major." "S-stiches?!" Fluttershy asked. "Yeah." I said. "It's like you're clothing. Goodbye, Fluttershy the tree; hello, Fluttershy the green mustard-stained sweater." Fluttershy stopped shivering for a second and asked, "Wait, why green mustard-stained sweater?" "Huh? Oh that's just part of a failed parody I was going to make. It's a parody of the Ultimate Showdown song: The Ultimate Hugfest, and you were the one that won!" I said excitedly. "Really?" Fluttershy smiled. "Wow, I didn't know I was that good of a hugger." "One of the best! Don't tell my marefriend that." I whispered. "My lips are sealed." Fluttershy said. "Hey, you know-“ “Wait, hold that thought.” I stopped her. “KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” “Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!” Adventure Blade greeted as he walked by me. “Hey, Addie!” Flutters greeted him. Addie didn’t say a thing. He just gave Fluttershy a weird look and he walks off. “What’s wrong with him?” “No clue. He’s Addie, that’s what’s wrong with him.” I said. "Hey, you know what, Flare?” Flutters asked. “I forgotten why I so scared.” She smiled. "Oh, it was properly because I mentioned stiches before." I reminded her, not really hearing what I'm saying. Fluttershy gasped again. "FLARE?!" "What?" I asked. "I change my mind! I don't wanna go to the hospital! Let go of me!" Fluttershy demanded as she struggled to break free from Angel and I. "No, Flutters, you're too injured!" I said. "Flare.... I am so sorry about this." Fluttershy said in a regretting tone. She then faced me, and committed THE STARE on me. "AAAAAH!" I screamed as I dropped her on Angel and rubbed my eyes. "My eyes! They burn!" I shouted. "I'm sorry, Angel." Fluttershy whispered and then she flew off really fast, still in pain though. "Ow! Why did she have to do the stare? It really burns!" I whined as I gained my sight back. Angel started glaring at me. "What? Why you looking at me like that?" Angel started mumbling and moving around. "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" I guessed. Angel shook his head and continued playing charades with me. "Are you having a heart-attack? Do you need to go to the hospital too?" Angel facepalmed himself and then he starts shrieking in fright. "Oh no, it's not a heart attack. It's a stroke!" Angel then started jumping up and down angrily. "Oh, we're jumping now? Jumping on the bed?" I started jumping along with him. “Weeeeeee!” Meanwhile, back at my trailer, Pearl was just putting the finishing touches on Apollo, so he can look fabulous for his date. "There you go, you look so handsome, Apollo!" Pearl said. "Well.... Pearl, is it really necessary to wear a tuxedo, a bowtie, a top hat, and a cane?" Apollo asked. "Yeah, it does seem a little much, doesn't it?" Dorthey asked. "Oh phoey, Dorthey. Philomena's going to really dig him on this date. Apollo's a true gentlecolt!" Pearl said. "Well..... if you say so." Dorthey said. "It's a little hot in this tux though." Apollo said as he started sweating. "Now THAT kind of talk will get you into court." Darrel said. "Darrel's right. Saying words together like that can either worse-case scenario: get you into court, best-case scenario: she'll slap you." Pearl said. "That's seriously the best case scenario?" Apollo asked. "Stallions get what they deserve sometimes." Pearl winked. A cutaway shows a stallion watching the game on TV, until suddenly he hears his doorbell ring. “Oh good, my new Enterprise is here!” the stallion said excitedly. He went to open the door, but there was a mail pony standing outside. “Got a package for a Mister Fillyizing Nerd.” The mail pony said, giving the stallion a box with air holes in it. “Oh nice! Somepony offered to give me a pet dog! How nice!” Fillyizing Nerd said. “Yeah, whatever. I need you to sign here.” The mail pony requested, holding out a clipboard. Filly Nerd signs the board and takes the box and opens it, and it revealed to be a crying foal. “What’s this?” Nerd asked to himself. “Oh hey, there’s a note in here.” The note reads: “Dear Fillyizing Nerd, This is your child. Next time, don’t leave me after I give the good news, you jerk. Now he’s your full responsibility.” “This sad truth is brought to you in part by: Stallions.” The announcer in the background said. A chorus in the background started singing; “Stallions: We’re afraid of responsibilities.” The cutaway ends. “Well, Apollo, it’s almost time. Almost time to impress your date!” Rainbow said. “I’m still a little nervous.” Apollo said. “Yeah, I wish I had a bit every time I heard that.” Piddles teased. “I can’t wear this tuxedo.” Apollo panted and was very close to removing his tux. “Don’t you dare, mister!” Pearl yelled. “You need that to woo your future spouse. “Woooooooo.” Darrel said. “Whoa! Who said anything about ‘future spouses’?” Apollo asked. “That ain’t the point.” Pearl said. “Look, once you get into the date, you may be a little nervous at first, but you’ll soon get used to it. Alright?” Apollo took a deep breath and said, “Alright.” “You good?” Pearl asked. “Yeah, kinda.” Apollo said, trying to calm down. “Might I make a suggestion?” Rainbow asked. “How about we stick this to the pros, Rainbow?” Pearl asked. “I’m just suggesting something. If you look inside the top right dresser, you’ll find some of Flare’s spy electronics; containing an ear piece, and some water-proof headphones for us.” Rainbow suggested. Apollo flew over to the dresser, opened the top-right drawer and reached inside. “Did you find it yet?” Dorthey asked. “I just got in here.” Apollo said, still searching the dresser for it. “Wait, I think I feel something-OW!” Apollo cried, and when he took his claw out, it showed a mouse trap. “Oh, that’s right, that’s his mouse-trap drawer.” Rainbow chuckled. “Sorry about that.” “Why does he have a drawer full of mouse-traps?” Apollo asked. “For the mice, duh!” Yoyo said. “Obviously.” Apollo said, rolling his eyes. “Check the one on the left.” Rainbow suggested. Apollo opened the dresser on the top-left side, and then a bunch of prank snakes popped out and scared the living skeleton out of him. “RAINBOW!” Apollo yelled. “Ok, I knew that one was the prank snake drawer!” Rainbow laughed. “Uugh!” Apollo groaned. “Ok, I’m pretty sure it’s in the-“ Rainbow said, but got cut off by Apollo. “No, forget it. I’m looking for it myself.” Apollo said impatiently as he started looking in all the drawers for the spy set, setting off all the traps in each part of the dresser, but the spy stuff was in no drawer. “Where is it?!” Apollo asked excitedly. “I was gonna say it’s on top of the dresser.” Rainbow said. Apollo looked on top of the dresser and saw the spy stuff already there. He glared at the camera in mid-air as a tug-boat horn was heard in the background. Apollo took the ear piece and placed it on the side of his head, inside his feathers, and he throws the headpiece inside the fish tank, and it floats down towards Darrel. “AAAAAH! I’m being crushed! I’m being crushed!” Darrel cried. “So long world! Please don’t make Yoyo get into my secret food stash!” “Wait…. WHAT?!” Yoyo gasped in excitement. “Don’t worry, Darrel. You’re under water, you shouldn’t be crushed with something this light under water.” Dorthey corrected him, holding the headphones with her fin. “Yay, Dorthey saved me!” Darrel yelled in excitement and hugged her. “Pearl to Apollo, Pearl to Apollo, do you read me, over?” Pearl asked through the headset. “I read you loud and clear, over.” Apollo responded. “Pearl’s a book?” Darrel asked. “So we all good, Apollo? You ready for this date?” Pearl asked through the headset. ”Yeah, I’m starting to feel a little more confident. Thank you, my aquatic friends.” Apollo responded. “Have fun on your date, Apollo! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!” Piddles teased. Apollo started flying out of the room and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful of my-“ but just then the door comes alive, grows an arm, and punches Apollo in the face, and he passes out. “RING DING DING DING DINGIDINGIDING!” the door said. “That’s what the fox says, dude.” Dorthey corrected the door. Meanwhile, back with Angel and I, I was still trying to guess what Angel was trying to say. “You’re a monster?” I asked. Angel started to lose his patience, but since rabbits can’t speak pony, he had to continue doing charades. He should’ve known I’m not good at it. “Wait, you’re afraid of something?” Angel nodded then pointed to the hospital. “You’re afraid of hospitals?” Angel then pointed to the direction where Fluttershy was. “That house is afraid of hospitals? No wait! It’s Fluttershy. Well, yeah, that was pretty obvious.” Angel’s ears flopped down and he just glared in space. “Wait a minute; I think I know what just happened. Maybe I was being a little too….. you know….. what’s that word again?” Angel shrugged. “Sensitive, I suppose? I think that’s the word I’m looking for, but I am not 100% sure.” After some time, I found out what I did wrong. “Oh right, it’s my fault Fluttershy ran away. I kept bringing up hospitals and all that! Oh what am I gonna do, Angel? She needs to go there, but how can I get her back?” Angel pointed to Twilight and Rarity who were chatting it up around the corner. “Nuh uh! No way! If the Mane Six found out I scared off Fluttershy, they’re going to be really upset with me. Maybe I’ll contact the Noble Six.” But just as I was taking out my phone, it started to ring. I picked it up and said, “Hello?” From the other end, it was Aqua. “Flare, where are ya, mate? We got everything ready. Gustave le Grand will be here any minute.” But just then, the shop doors opened, and Gustave le Grand walked inside. “I…. have arrived.” “Scratch that, Gustave IS here.” Aqua said. “Keep him occupied for now. Just give him what we got, and I’ll be there as soon as I get some…. errands done.” I said. “Just hurry, Flare. Psyche’s still trying to get Bon Bon and Lyra to do their jobs. “I am not wearing this prom dress to the meet!” Psyche yelled from inside my office. “Well… this does make me look pretty, but still, why do you keep thinking I’m a mare?!” ”Good luck, mate.” Aqua said and hung up. “Yeah, goodbye! You shouldn’t hang up without saying goodbye!” I yelled at my phone, and then I placed it in my vest pocket. “We have to look for Flutters, and I have no idea where she is. Angel, you’ve known her for years; where does she normally go when she’s scared and has to hide quickly?” Angel hoped over to a tree and pointed to it. “Just to let you know, brah, the Fluttershy tree joke is not funny anymore. Here, I’m gonna call Pinkie Pie a blender now, let’s see those bronies make jokes about that.” Just then, Angel heard a sneeze from inside the tree. Angel kicked the side of the tree, where Fluttershy’s sore shoulder is, and she jumped out of the tree costume and yelled, “OW! OW, OW, OW, OW!” “Flutters! You’re ok!” I said in excitement and hugged her. “Please don’t take me to the hospital, Flare! I’d do anything if you just don’t take me!” Fluttershy cried in fear. “Just please don’t take me!” “Mama Flutters, I apologize deeply for scaring you. I’m just as afraid as you are when it comes to hospitals, but you know what? I faced my fear, and now my cancer is gone!” I explained. “Y-you had cancer once?” Flutters asked. “No, but you get my point. Listen, I’ll be there with you every step of the way. With an injury like this, you won’t even be there for long. All we’re gonna do is go into the emergency room, take a few x-rays, do a little minor sugerical procedure on your shoulder, and you’ll be out of there lickety split!” I said. “Yeah, you called me?” a pony by the name of Lickety Split asked while bouncing his favorite ball up and down. “No, no, no, I wasn’t calling for you.” I corrected him. “Mmm, ok.” He said. “Look, Flutters, just come with me to the hospital, I’ll stay with you the whole time, and before you take another shower, we’ll get you a safety mat or stickers with those little duckies with the umbrellas.” I suggested. “Well…. I…. ok.” Fluttershy said, giving in. “Ok, Flare. You can take me to the hospital.” “Well, at least you don’t have to wait this time. It’s right there.” I said, pointing to it. Fluttershy started to shiver again. “Don’t worry, Flutters. The hardest part in there will be the X-Rays.” I said. A cutaway shows a giant X inside the hospital with a ray gun pointing at Fluttershy. “Now, let’s look inside you.” The ‘X-Ray’ said. “Eww, that sounds perverted.” Fluttershy complained. The cutaway ends. Meanwhile in front of my shop- ok, before I continue, I just have to say one thing. Isn’t it ironic that most first dates happen at my shop? Remember when I dated Pinkie? That was my shop it took place in. Rainbow and Blaze when they reunited, their first dinner together took place at my shop; and let’s not forget Crystal and Thunder first dating after they got married was at my shop. It seems Flare’s Pizza Parlor seems to be the breading grounds to all relationships. I didn’t really think of that until I keep seeing the first dates coming in; I just make pizzas out of love, that’s why I built it. Alright, let’s continue. Meanwhile in front of my shop, Apollo was hanging there, waiting for his date to show up. “Pearl to Apollo, Pearl to Apollo, do you read me, over?” Pearl asked from Apollo’s ear piece. “Pearl, when did you become a book?” Darrel asked. “You made that joke already.” Pearl corrected him. “It’s not a joke.” Darrel said. “This is Apollo, over.” Apollo said through his ear piece. “Are you at the shop?” Pearl asked. “Yes, I’m at the shop.” Apollo said. “Did you check to make sure your bowtie was on correctly?” Pearl asked. “I’m pretty sure you already did that.” Apollo said. “It wouldn’t hurt to check.” Pearl advised. Apollo looked down at his tie to check it. “Oh, no it isn’t. That would’ve been terrible.” He straightened it out. “I hope you remembered to put on cologne.” Pearl reminded him. “Of course.” Apollo said. “Alright, now open the door, and let the lady in first. This is something I like to call: ladies first.” Pearl said. So Apollo opens the door, and let’s in the first mare he sees. “Oh thank you!” Parasol said as she walked in. “Wait, is that what Philomena sounds like? I thought she’d sound prettier.” Yoyo asked. “That wasn’t Philomena.” Apollo said. “So who was that then?” Yoyo asked. “No, no, this is good! By holding the door open for other mares, Philomena will see Apollo as a gentlecolt.” Pearl said. “Either that, or a sucker.” Piddles teased. ”Quiet, Piddles.” Pearl said. “Ok, Apollo. You remember the drill, right? We practiced this date. We simulated everything.” “Yes of course. I still have the taste of fish lips on my beak.” Apollo said, wiping his face with his feathers. “Aw c’mon, don’t pretend you didn’t love it.” Pearl giggled. “Hey, Apollo, if you have leftovers, I hope you’re sharing them.” Yoyo requsted. “Don’t worry, I will.” Apollo said. “But I dunno if Philomena is a big eater like you, Yoyo.” “I was actually talking about me.” Yoyo corrected him. “Hey, Apollo? You gonna talk to her about your future home?” Piddles teased. “Aren't you gonna marry her and stuff? Have alot of kids, have a big house and such?” “O-one thing at a time, Piddles! I have to take it slow.” Apollo said blushing. “Piddles? Who's Piddles? Who you talking to, Apollo?” Philomena asked, flying right in front of him. “P-PHILOMENA!” Apollo gasped as he fell over, and some of his feathers got detached from his body and floated down to him while they were floating in the air as he fell. Philomena giggles and says, “You don’t have to bow to me. I may be a royal pet, but I’m not a princess.” “Um… well…. y-yes.” Apollo said nervously, flying back up to Philomena’s level. “So this is where we’re eating, huh?” Philomena asked, looking at my shop. “Luna talked about this place a couple of times. Every time she eats here, she leaves with bad breath.” “Y-yeah. This place is a royalty favorite.” Apollo said. “Nice! Let’s head inside.” Philomena said as she flew towards the door. “Remember how we rehearsed it.” Pearl reminded Apollo from the ear piece. Apollo nods and flies over to the door and opens it for Philomena. Philomena blushes and says, “Oh what a gentlecolt!” the blush goes away and then she says, “Either that or a sucker.” She giggles. “Told you!” Piddles said from the ear piece. “I’m kidding, Apollo. Come on!” Philomena said from inside the shop. Apollo nods and follows her inside. “Hello, and welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor!” Spike greeting the two phoenixes. “Will that be a table for two?” “Yes.” Apollo said. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand ‘screech, screech’.” Spike said. “Oh… right.” Apollo said. “We’re phoenixes, he can’t understand us. Why are we here again?” “You picked this place.” Philomena reminded him. “Apollo!” Blaze cried. “Master?” Apollo asked. “What are you doing, man? And who’s this?” Blaze asked. “This is Philomena. She’s my date for the night.” Apollo said. “Hiiiii! I’m his vegetable for the night!” Philomena teased. “How about giving me a ‘raisin’ why we’re here!” “Heh.” Apollo chuckled. “She’s charming.” Blaze said. “Ok so what am I doing?” Spike asked. “Table for two, Spike.” Blaze said. “Ah! Maybe you can be the translator of these two.” Spike suggested. “I guess I have to.” Blaze shrugged. “Hmm…” Gustave le Grand thought to himself as he looked around the shop. “Everything alright, Mr. Grand?” Psyche asked. “I must say, mec, I do quite enjoy ze atmosphere.” Gustave said. “A griffin deserves to eat in a restaurant fitted to his or her likings.” Crystal started to chuckle. “The way he said ‘restaurant’! It’s hilarious!” “Shhh!” Psyche shushed her. “Don’t shh me! I love his accent!” Crystal said. “Ah yes, ze mares do enjoy my accent pretty well.” Gustave said to Crystal. “And I must say, dear, you do have quite the flutters eyelashes.” “O-oh.” Crystal giggles and flutters her eyelashes. “Thank you!” “Ze mares are the main reason why I transferred to Equestria. I gotta say, they have the most… MWAH… kissable lips and slippery tongue.” Gustave said. “Oh snap!” Crystal blushes. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” Psyche said. “How about you, Miss?” Gustave asked Psyche. “I must zay, you have the most attractive body and adorable squishy behind that is. You free tonight?” Psyche started to feel really uncomfortable. “As adorable and attractive I am, you got the wrong gender, dude.” “Oh my apologies, miser. You have the body of a mare, but you no mare?” Gustave asked. “No.” Psyche said. “Ahh, ahhh!” Gustave nodded and he chuckled. “My deepest apologies!” “The way he chuckles really makes me laugh, and the way he talks makes me feel blushy.” Crystal said. “You have a coltfriend, Crystal.” Psyche reminded her. “Really? Who?” Crystal asked. “It’s part of the griff-on charm.” Gustave said. “How ‘bout me, partner? Ah look good enough fer you?” Engie asked. “Voo do look pretty good… for me to barf!” Gustave said. “Oh… how insultin’.” Engie said upsettingly. “Barf!” Crystal laughed again. “The way he says ‘barf’!” “So, Apollo? How about telling me a bit about yourself?” Philomena asked while she and Apollo sat at a booth one away from Gustave’s. “There’s not really much to say.” Apollo said. “I was discovered by Blaze in Everfree. I was injured. He took me in and nursed me back to health. I owed him my life after that.” “Really? That’s sweet!” Philomena said. “It is!” Apollo said. “I have a relatively similar story.” Philomena said. “Oh yeah?” Apollo asked. “Careful, Apollo. This is when she’s going to talk nonstop.” Yoyo advised him from the ear piece. “Just smile and nod and pretend you’re listening. Got it?” “Got it.” Apollo said. “Got what?” Philomena asked as she holds up a glass of milk. “Got milk?” “What?” Apollo asked. “Nothing. So anyways, Princess Celestia discovered me inside a forest too. It wasn’t Everfree, it was a different one. Some other enchanted forest.” Philomena said. “There are others?” Apollo asked. “Yeah, down south of Equestria.” Philomena said. “You’re not talking about the Gatorglades Swamps, are you?” Apollo asked. “Wha- ew! It’s nasty there! No not that. It was a different one. I dunno the name though.” Philomena said. “It was even more enchanted than Everfree.” “In what way?” Apollo asked. “Excuse me, voo two?” Gustave interrupted them. “I seem to be out of sugar on my table. Can I have some of yours?” Apollo reaches over and takes some sugar packages from the table and gives them to Gustave. “Thank you.” “In what way?” Apollo asked. “In what way what?” Philomena asked. “Umm… I forgot.” Apollo said. Philomena starts to giggle. “I really like you, Apollo! You’re funny, you’re cute, you’re… the only other phoenix I know so I can’t compare you to others.” “I like you too, Philomena.” Apollo said. “I hope I’m not too tacky all dressed up like-“ “Pardon me again.” Gustave interrupted them again. “But you gave me pink sugar, and I wanted white sugar.” Apollo sighs and gives him the white sugar. “Many thanks!” “I hope I’m not too tacky all dressed up like this.” Apollo said. “It’s kinda hot in these.” “Hey, whoa, buddy!” Philomena stopped him. “Let’s not go that far yet!” “W-what?” Apollo asked. “Who dressed you like that anyway? Bleh!” Philomena complained. “What did that girl just say?” Pearl asked insultingly through the ear-piece. “Phoenixes shouldn’t wear tuxedos! That just looks ugly!” Philomena complained. “OH DON’T TELL ME SHE JUST DISSED MY WORK!” Pearl complained. “Ow, Pearl!” Apollo complained. “Pearl? Who’s Pearl!” Philomena asked. “Are you seeing someone else? What’s that in your ear?” “Umm…” Apollo froze as Philomena takes his ear piece and talks through it. “Hello? Hello? Who’s in there?” Philomena asked. “Yo mama!” Yoyo said though the ear piece. “We’re friends of Apollo. We were trying to assist on him his date with you.” Rainbow explained. “By cheating?” Philomena asked. “What?!” Apollo yelled. “What? What happened?” Blaze asked. “Apollo, you don’t need to have friends of yours tell you what to do! Did they ask you to dress up like that?” Philomena asked. “I’ll have you know, darling, that it wasn’t easy picking out the right tie for him.” Pearl said from the ear-piece. “Can I talk through the ear piece now?” Darrel asked. “HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Also Piddles is sleeping!” “How many friends are you talking to, Apollo? This is supposed to be a you and me date!” Philomena complained. “There’s six of them, and I’m sorry!” Apollo said. “I never had a date before, and I got really nervous. My aquatic friends were helping me out in trying to impress you.” “How good of a job are we doing?” Dorthey asked from the ear piece. “Apollo, you don’t need a guide to help you through this date. You don’t need to dress up THIS nice for me! I like you for YOU. You’re a very nice phoenix, Apollo.” Philomena said as she placed her wing on his shoulder. “I mean… I can barely find anyone to communicate with. All I do is hang around all day and watch royal subjects of the princesses come by and bow to them and all that. It was very nice going out of the castle for a change. Like that time I teased that pony Fluttershy when I was dying-out; THAT was a fun day! And this…” she leans over to Apollo’s face. “This was too!” Apollo blushes. “I… I’m glad you liked it.” “I loved it!” Philomena said. “Excuse me? But what kind of food is zis?!” Gustave complained. “It’s pizza.” Engie said. “It’s not ze food I expected. Doesn’t look all… how you say… fantaisie.” Gustave said. “Fantasisie… that’s pretty much the only way I know how to say it, probably.” Crystal said. “Zis is unacceptable!” Gustave complained. “And where is your manager?! I haven’t zeen him at all!” “Gustave le Grand, I apologize deeply for this.” Aqua said. “I take responsibility for all of this. Flare’s out taking care of errands, and he couldn’t get the fancy food ya wanted in time. I’m sorry, mate…” “Well… it’s not the fanciest meal I’ve ever zeen, but I’ve zeen worse.” Gustave said. “If ya can just try it… it’ll really mean a lot to our friend.” Aqua said. “He’s a big fan of yas. Accept it or not, he’ll appreciate this.” Gustave just looked at the pizza with a blank expression on his face. “Perhaps…” he mumbled. He takes out a knife and fork because that’s how fancy people eat their pizzas, and he cuts the edge of the pizza, picks it up with the fork, places a toothpick on it, releases the fork, and then he wipes the pizza a bit with his napkin, and he wipes his face too, and then he takes another napkin and wipes his face again because the other napkin was dirty from wiping the pizza, and then he places the pizza in his mouth. What happens after that? Well, Gustave was feeling pretty- meanwhile, Fluttershy and I returned from the hospital after she got treated, and I walked her back to her cottage along with Angel assisting me, and I walk Flutters into her room. Flutters was a bit loopy as I helped her walk. “Now remember, Flutters, you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer, so… uhhh… don’t operate heavy machinery and try not to choke on your own droll.” I advised her. “Now lemme help you in bed, and… umm… I dunno. Fluttershy began to giggle. “Flarey you’re so weird… you’re so… you’re so weird! Ha ha! Flare is helping me get into bed! I never thought I’d see the day! Ha ha! If I still had a crush on you… MAN! I’d think of some activities we could do on this bed!” “Like what?” I asked. “Like bedtime stories and singing and stuff!” Flutters said. “Singing… at least I don’t get another actress to sing for me! Sucks to be Pinkie, Twilight, and Rarity!” “Umm… yeah, ok.” I nodded. “So is there anything else you need? Because I have to be on my way.” “Sing Soft Dalek for me?” Flutters requested. “Soft Dalek is for when you’re sick, you’re not sick.” I corrected her. “Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.” Flutters reminded me. She got me there. Looks like the tables have turned in this story. I began to sing, “Soft Dalek, warm Dalek, little ball of hate…” “Wait!” Flutters interrupted. “Let’s sing as a round! I’ll start!” she then began to sing, “Soft Dalek, warm Dalek, little ball of hate…” she then stopped and looked at me. “What?” I asked. “See, that’s when you come in.” Flutters instructed me. “I’ll start over.” She began to sing again, “Soft Dalek, warm Dalek, little ball of hate…” she then stopped and looked at me. “I got all night, Son Flare!” To be honest, I was quite confused to what a ‘round’ actually meant, but I eventually did figure it out. She wants me to sing over her at the right time. She began to sing again, “Soft Dalek, warm Dalek…” At this part was when I began singing my round from the beginning. “Little ball of hate. Happy dalek, sleepy dalek, EXTERMINATE!” “Ok, you happy now?” I asked. “I am!” Flutters said as she cuddled on my arm. “Thank you for taking care of me, Flare! Thank you for helping me get over my fear of hospitals! Well… kinda. I’ll never get over their disgusting food, but you know something? It was a while ago, but we really bonded when you were sick the first time. You thought of me as your Ponyville mom, and it meant a lot to me! I am so lucky to have somepony like you, Flare! I get what you’re saying. It’s as if you’re my parent. Well… this may sound crazy, but what if I called you Papa Flare?” “I’d say you weren’t the first Fluttershy that thought that.” I said. “But I get what you’re saying. I’m really sorry for reminding you your fear of hospitals. The best thing to do… if you’re taking someone somewhere they don’t like… try to get he or she to get their minds off it, and then… well… everything will be alright.” “You should write that friendship lesson in our diary!” Flutters suggested. “Diaries are for fillies.” I said. “Journals are for stallions!” “But regardless…” Flutters started as she placed her hoof upon my Blessings of the Night necklace and it started to glow. “You returned the favor I gave you so long ago. Thank you, Flare!” “I hope that’s not the medicine talking.” I said. “It probably is.” Flutters said. “If it isn’t why do you look so green?” Ok, so a fifth pony has now given me their friendship to store inside the Blessings of the Night. I gave Angel a nice nod before I left Fluttershy’s house and let her sleep. Angel was a bit disappointed though. With his owner asleep, who’s going to feed him? On top of that, who’s looking after the animals making a mess inside her house because nopony is watching them? Not me! I’m not doing it! Now that I’m done at Fluttershy’s cottage, forgetting the main reason why I was there, I returned to my shop to see how things were going with Gustave, but when I got there, the whole place was a mess, and the Noble Six were all sleeping on the booths or the floor, and Engie was awake singing on my karaoke machine. “And ah see your truuuuue colors, and THAT’S WHY AH LOVE YOOOOOU!” he sang in a squeaky voice as he was also shirtless and had toilet paper around his neck. He then noticed me and said, “DUDE! Everypony left an hour ago! Where have you been?!” As it turns out, I missed everything. I missed Gustave, I missed the phoenix date, all because I was helping a friend out. Helping friends does have its sacrifices, doesn’t it? Meanwhile, outside Canterlot castle, Apollo was dropping off Philomena at home. “Well… this is it.” Apollo said. “Thanks for flying all the way here with me!” Philomena said thankfully. “I mean, you still have another half-hour flight home by yourself, but you were such a gentlecolt!” “I was only doing what I thought was right.” Apollo said. “As it should be.” Philomena nodded. “No one telling you what to do. You made your own decisions and that’s how a true gentlecolt truly behaves.” “While the female just teases the male that his only friends are a bunch of fish?” Apollo asked. “WE CAN STILL HEAR YOU!” Yoyo yelled from the ear piece. Philomena giggles. “Yeah, I guess it was wrong of me, but no one’s perfect. Celestia taught me to by quite the joker. I mean there’s two of me in every card deck!” “Heh… yeah.” Apollo chuckled. “So we going to meet again?” Philomena asked. “Absolutely!” Apollo said. “How about coming in for coffee?” Philomena asked as she gave him a seductive look. “Do you have de-caf?” Apollo asked. “Awww! You actually think I was actually talking about coffee! How adorable!” Philomena said in a sweet tone as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Apollo just froze there in surprise. “G’night, Apollo!” she then flies inside the castle, and then Apollo just floats there in mid-air, not moving a muscle. How can he float without flapping? That’s physically impossible! Oh listen to me, I sound like Psyche. “Apollo? Apollo are you ok?” Rainbow asked from the ear piece. “He’s not responding.” “Was he kissed?” Pearl asked. “I believe so.” Rainbow said. “I heard a smooch.” “He’s just surprised. That means this date was success! Good job, Apollo! Good job!” Pearl said. “How about you invite her to the trailer one day? That way I can SLAP HER IN THE FACE FOR DISSING THAT OUTFIT I PICKED FOR YOU!” Meanwhile back at the shop, I was just sitting down at one of the booths very upsettingly. I know I did good today, but… was it worth it? “Hey, mate.” Aqua said as he sat down next to me. “Hey Aqua.” I said. “Sorry ya missed everything.” Aqua said. “It’s ok, brah. Did Gustave enjoy everything?” I asked. “He enjoyed the atmosphere, but the food… he had no comment on.” Aqua said. “He just paid, and then left.” “He probably liked it.” I said. “I thought he didn’t.” Aqua said. “He was just in shock over how good it was. Can’t fool everypony. Everypony knows that trick already. One of the oldest in the book.” I said. “I know any second, now he’s going to burst through the doors and say… “Zat was the most amazing pizza I ever tasted in my entire life!” Gustave le Grand said excitedly as he walked inside my shop. “I was actually gonna say that you were going to say that it was an awesome pizza and is worth sharing to the world, but that works too, I guess.” I said. “You are a truly inspiring chef, Misser Gun!” Gustave said. “Ooooh.” I blushed. “I know that!” “I am zerious.” Gustave said. “I am proud to zay that even for a four-star restaurant, your food was… MWAH… something worth kissing a married mare about!” “Sorry.” Crystal shrugged. “Mares dig French accents. It’s a scientific fact.” “I really appreciate that, Gustave, thank you!” I said. “You are a truly inspiring chef, and… wait a minute… what do you mean a FOUR star restaurant?” “I’m just zaying. Your food is stupendous, and I will spread the word of this restaurant’s existence.” Gustave said. “But still… for a four star restaurant, your cookings are truly amazing!” “GET OUT OF MY SHOP YOU PHONEY!” I demanded. “Call my shop a FOUR star restaurant! How DARE you?!” “B-but… I just zaid…” Gustave started. “I don’t care what you said! You insulted me!” I yelled. “No! Zat’s not true!” Gustave cried. “I only meant-“ just then, I suddenly take out a laser pointer from my vest pocket, activated it and swung it around my shop. “Oooo pretty!” he said as he started chasing the laser pointer. “Hey where iz zat dot going? I’m trying to grab it but it’s pretty fast. Where you going? Come back here!” Relax! I wasn’t really insulted on what Gustave said to me, but man did you see how freaked? He seems to be begging for my respect! A five-star chef wanting respect from a four-star chef? I know I’m going places, brahs! I’m going places!