“YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, SWINEBUTT!” I yelled at my former friend as we continue from where part 1 ended. “I TRUSTED YOU! I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! I TOOK BLAMES FOR YOU! I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DID THAT ACCIDENT ON THE FLOOR AT THAT PLAY, AND I JUST TOOK THE BLAME, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO! BUT NOW THAT YOU BETRAYED ME, YOU RUINED ME, NOW I'M GONNA RUIN YOU!" I sprinted inside Swinebutt’s trailer with my hornsaber activated and I destroyed everything inside. I destroyed his lab, his supplies, his years of research, his projects, EVERYTHING! His security system did not stop me. I was still identified as a friend, and a few Swinebots left over survived, which are the same bots I used to build my pizza shop. Once I finished, I marched out of the trailer and screamed into the sky as a storm spins around the junkyard, but ironically, I did not hold such power. That storm did not come from my horn. That storm was laughing evilly.
"YOU... YOU DESTROYED MY YEARS OF RESEARCH!" he yelled at me.
"WELL YOU BETRAYED ME! YOU DESERVED IT, BUDDY!" I yelled back at him.
"I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, FRIEND!" he yelled at me.
"I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND, GUY!" I yelled back at him.
"I'M NOT YOUR GUY, BUDDY!" he yelled back at me.
"I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, FRIEND!" I yelled back at him.
"WELL I GUESS THIS MEANS WAR!" he yelled. "I SWEAR, WITH CELESTIA AS MY WITNESS, I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOUR LIFE STAYS RUINED! YOU CAN'T RUN FROM IT! I'LL NEVER MAKE YOU REDEEM YOURSELF! IF YOU DO, I'LL TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! YOU JUST WAIT! I LOATHE YOU, CRIMSON FLARE GUN!" Those were the last words I heard from him until the storm above us struck him with lightning. Something was telling me I should go help him, but from the storm, some purple smoke tried to go into my nose, but I wiped it away from my face and ran.
I never saw Swinebutt again after that, but Swinebutt was still alive, I knew it. Swinebutt just laid on the ground breathing heavily, and on his right eye, something began to appear, but that’s all I remember. It ends like this. My anger got to me, and my friend betrayed me. My heart was broken and I didn't have the will to go on. Friendship.... is.... DEAD! Not trying to quote Discord or anything.
"YEAH RUN! Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here!?" Herb yelled.
"Will you not say it like that, man? It makes you sound stupid." Angel said to him. “Man.” This was also the last day I saw Herb and his friends, but I didn’t know what happened to Swinebutt. He got struck by lightning by a strange storm I did not create, but why? The flashback ends there.
"Whoa, nelly!" AppleJack cried. "So that's how yer life got ruined."
"Flare, darling, how could you live with yourself?" Rarity asked.
"I couldn't live with myself." I said. "After Swinebutt betrayed me, I… I gave up. I didn’t bother making any more friends.”
"Flare, we never realized how much your life was-" Twilight said.
"Alright, alright, you all are saying the same thing, just let me finish!" I interrupted her. "Now where was I? Ah, right! So for 2 years I just stayed inside my home not caring for life regardless. I just stayed in, playing video games, posting videos on YouTube, and having no life what so ever, just like poor sap that created this story." The flashback continued. I was just sitting on one of my bean bag chairs, playing Fallout 3 on my XBUCKS.
"Poor fool." my fish OJ said.
"If only there was some way we could help him." Mickey said.
"Yeah, well at least Chuck is getting old." one of my newer fish Hoops said.
“Huh? What was that, sonny-boy?” the mean fish Chuck asked in an old man voice. Chuck was so old that he was wearing glasses and had white hair and a white beard.
“It’s too bad. I like Chuck better now that he’s old.” Mickey said.
"Oh shush! Quit being such big meanies, you do-do heads!” Darrel III yelled at them.
"Still miss old Darrel.” OJ said.
"Flarey? Flarey, can you open please?" Water asked as she knocked on the door.
"Go away! My life is as bad enough as it is!" I yelled.
"Flarey, I strongly respect your privacy by knocking, but I have the authority as your older sister by coming in anyway!" she said as she knocked my door down with a giant column.
"Like mother like daughter." I said.
"Hey, horse.” Water said as she walked over to me. “Flarey, I know you're going through alot right now, and I was thinking of not telling you this because then I'd be a bad sister."
I wasn't really paying attention, as I was playing my game. "Mmhmm." I said.
"Look bro, I bet you're aware that I had a tough life too. I mean you and I aren't so different, you know?" she said.
"Yep." I said still not paying attention.
"So there's really no easy way for saying this, but.... I'm.... gonna go traveling around the world." she said.
"Mmhmm." I said.
"Oh, and also Nana’s in the hospital." she said.
"Uh huh... WAIT! NANA’S IN THE HOSPITAL?!" I yelled.
"Oh good I got your attention." she said to me with a smile.
"Oh great! I was in the middle of fighting some monsters and you made me die!" I complained. “Thanks a lot, Water!”
"Sorry, Flarey, but there's something important I need to tell you, but you weren't listening.” Water said.
"I heard; Nana's in the hospital.” I said. “Well, I'll go get my ski mask and we can go visit her."
"Flarey, don't worry, she's not in the hospital. I just said that to get your attention." she said. "Wait, why do you need a ski mask?"
"To hide my face." I said sadly. “Also, DO NOT lie to me about Nana being in the hospital! Don’t joke around like that. That is NOT funny!”
"I’m sorry, Flarey, but like you; I’m struggling here in Mareami, and I wanna get away from it all. So I’m packing my things and going to travel around the world.” Water said.
"And why would you do that?" I asked.
"I just wanna see all the cool things that Mareami doesn't have. Travel around and see new things. It would totally take my mind off all the suffering that we've encountered here." she said.
"Oh, so we're going on a world trip, huh? I guess I might need that." I said.
"Oh... ummm... sorry, bro. But... mom and dad need you here, and... I wanted this to be an alone thing." she said.
"Oh don't be ridiculous, Water! There's room for both of us! Wait, how we traveling?" I asked.
"RV, but I'm sorry, Flarey, I just.... it's complicated.” Water said.
“I usually call RVs ‘conveys’ because that’s what Niguel Thornberry calls it.” I said.
“Flare, don't make this harder than it already is." Water begged.
“And you think it isn’t hard for either?” I asked. “Water, I can’t… I can’t live without you! Like the fish, and the Mare in the Moon, you’re my only friends!”
“I feel that this is something I have to do, bro. I’m not gonna let these things bother me anymore.” Water said. “I’m going alone on this road trip to put my mind at ease, and then… I’ll be back… for you, bro.”
“Water… if you leave me… you are a tator too! A tator tot! I will burn you with the steak… and then eat that tree steak all up!” I said angrily as I started making munching sounds.
“Uhh… I think I need an adult.” Water commented a little bit freaked out.
“Water, adults like ourselves need to stick together. At least until we gain loved ones.” I said.
“I made my decision, Flare, and I already paid for the RV.” Water said.
“Convey.” I corrected her.
“Whatever. It would seem like a waste not to go, but don’t worry, bro! I’ll be back home before you know.” Water promised.
“Please don’t go!” I begged as I hugged her tight. Water just gave me a kiss on my head, released me and walked out of my room. I never felt so betrayed that day, except for Swinebutt. Now I lost two loved ones. The flashback ends there.
“Flare I realized what I did was wrong.” Present day Water said to me. “When I returned to see you, I realized that.”
“I needed you, Water, and you left me. What kind of sister were you?” I asked angrily.
“A very bad one. Very stubborn. I’m very sorry, Flare, but you have to realize that I took a punishment when I first met Fonz.” Water said. “Very foolish of me.”
“When we were younger, Water, you took care of me. Now that we’re grown up and you’re very confused and don’t know what to do, it is now I that has to take care of you.” I said.
“And I appreciate it. You forgave me after I hurt you the most. Despite what others might you think you are a good pony.” Water said.
“NO! I’m a great pony!” I corrected her. “Very great pony! I don’t care if I’m not saying it right, I am not good, I am great! I’m not perfect though, I’ll give you that.”
Another flashback starts. After a while went by, I was so alone without Water. My parents weren’t very helpful either. My mom always yelled at me, and my dad is now working his butt off at work. He works late, he gets stressed out, but regardless, they’re my parents and I love them just the same. They’re still there for me when I really need them, but they’re not enough not to fill in the empty space I have inside. No…. only food can do that. I am so hungry right now!
October 22, 2010, I went outside to go for a little walk. I was a bit confused after I went outside, because it was 2 in the afternoon, and it was dark outside.
"Why is it so dark out? It's only 2 PM." I asked myself. "Hmm, must be daylight savings time.” When I got to the beach to speak with Mare in the Moon, the ocean was pretty rough tonight so I couldn’t be too close to the shoreline. When I sat down and looked up, I said, “Luna, I need some… wait what?” when I looked up to the moon, I saw no face. The Mare in the Moon was gone. I was a little shocked. “Luna? Are you still there? If you can hear me, I need some help real bad! My whole life I feel is a lie, just like the cake, Swinebutt’s friendship, friendship in general, and Nicki Minaj’s boobies.”
“It's no use, Luna!” I cried. “I have nothing. I don't know what to do, my life has no purpose, but whatever my sister said, I think it's all fake, but.... it could be true. Is my destiny somewhere else? Maybe Mareami is not my home. I mean, this city is awesome! Mareami: The neon lights, the beautiful beaches, the fine dining, all the shops with the cool clothes, the Gatorglades swamps, the humid nights, and if it’s not humid, it’s raining, and let's not forget about Seastar Island, where all the rich pony folk live; and what other cities have the Lunar Space Center in the Cape Canville district, and the best part: Mareami has three theme parks! Candy Kingdom, Magic World, and Galactic Studios! Mareami is the best city in Equestria! But.... the only thing missing.... is friendship, and respect, and treating other ponies for who they are, and cool weather, we never have cool weather. I can't find any of that here; most pony folk I met here are big fat jerks, and the rest are just jerks! Yeah, lots of ponies around here are fat, but that's not my problem, it's friendship I'm looking for. But... I can't find friendship around here. It's like friendship is.... dead." So, for the moment, I started singing 'You're the Inspiration' by Chicago, but in my own words. I was just walking around the beach, singing the song, looking in the ocean, and the moon, etc. It went like this:
"You know friendship was meant to be
The kind of friendship that lasts forever.
And I want somepony with me
From tonight until the end of- HEY!”
I stopped the song there because a newspaper just flew into my face. “What is this?” I asked myself as I removed the newspaper from my face showing a topic of Princess Celestia being missing on the cover. “It’s litter.” I said as I threw the newspaper in the recycling bin nearby. “I know a lot of ponies are rude to me, but they need to have standards.” What I didn’t know was that the newspaper that flew into my face was actually a sign.
After a while, I went home and went to bed, thinking a little sleep might help. I know it was the afternoon, but it still looked dark out. I woke up after my nappy and it was daylight outside. I decided to watch a little TV, so I turned it on, and watched the news. Not Fox news though.
"Live from Cloudsdale, this is E.P.N.N. Equestrian Public News Network, with Grass Marks and Golden Dusk." the host said on TV.
"Good afternoon, Equestria! I'm Grass Marks!" the green pegasus pony said.
"And I'm Golden Dusk, thanks for joining us!" the yellow pegasus said. "It's been quite a long night, hasn't it Grass?"
"Yes it has Gold, and colt you wouldn't believe it, but our Long Night Alert is finally over." Grass said.
"Yeah it seems our ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia, has made peace with her banished sister, Princess Luna!" Gold said.
"Wait, Luna's back?" I asked.
"You betcha! Luna is back!" Grass said.
"Hey how did he hear what I said? He's on the TV!" I asked.
"Technically, I'm in the TV, not ON it." he said.
"Oh whatever! How can he hear me anyway?" I asked.
"With our Princess Luna back, it would seem that Princess Celestia won't be ruling Equestria alone anymore." Gold said.
"But it wasn't Celestia that saved Princess Luna from Nightmare Moon." Grass said.
"Nope, it was six brave ponies who now hold the Elements of Harmony that saved her." Gold said.
"It looks like friendship is in the air in Ponyville!" Grass said. "I sure feel sorry for the poor saps that go through haterd all the time that never learned the value of friendship."
"I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lied.
“Don’t lie.” Grass glared at me.
“HOW CAN HE HEAR ME?!” I yelled. “Can the news program be any worse?”
“And now SPORTS!” Grass said.
“Curse you.” I said in an annoyed tone.
After some time went by, I just kept to myself and watched the news. Normally I don’t watch the news, but I got bored with the games I’ve been playing and what else should I do, hmm? Well after watching the news, something interesting finally came on. Not just negative things, but something positive finally came on the news.
“Welcome back to EPN, I’m Grass Marks, in case you don’t know that already, and we’re here to have an interview with six brave ponies that restored friendship and harmony throughout Equestria and Princess Luna. We’ll be having an interview on them in just a moment, but first, allow us to hear from our sponsors.” Grass said. “EPN is brought to you in part by Pepperidge Farms, the company that reminds you of various things forgotten in the past such as calling ‘dinner’, ‘supper’, or calling a grocery store a ‘market’, or saying ‘golly’ instead of ‘gosh’.”
"Wait, Princess Luna? Friendship? Supper? Market? Golly? Wow, I must've hit my head by that newspaper harder than I thought." I said, rubbing my head. "I would've thought friendship is dead?"
So I watched the interviews Grass Marks made with the Mane Six and I must say…. I have nothing to say. I saw each of the interviews with each of the Mane Six, starting with AppleJack.
"So, AppleJack? You represent the Element of Honesty right?" Grass Marks asked.
"If ah'm lyin, ah'm cryin." AppleJack said as they both laughed. "Ya see, friendship is something that everypony needs to be happy. If there's a pony that doesn't have friends, well.... ah'd do all ah could to get them as much friends as possible! Ya know what ah mean?"
"I sure do, AppleJack! I sure do!" Grass said.
"And the thing is, honesty is a key to friendship. If somepony is yer friend, and they've been lyin to ya from the start, then.... they ain't yer friend, they're usin ya'll!" AppleJack said.
"That is so true!" I yelled. "For Wizard of Feeling's sake, I less then three you, AppleJack! Why can't other ponies be like you? That’s exactly my problem!”
"So Rarity, you represent the Element of Generosity, right?" Grass asked.
"Of course I do, darling!" Rarity said. "How else do ponies always buy things at my shop? I offer cheap prices!" she chuckled.
"Of course!" Grass said.
"Well then, I have a few things to say to the audience: You can't have friendship unless you look divine! Come down to my shop in Ponyville and I'll give you outfits that'll make everypony like you!" Rarity said to the camera.
"You talk about outfits and yet you don't wear anything." I pointed out. “Well, I guess I could use a different look, other than my vest or shoes. Maybe I could use a new mane style too, maybe it's a little too round."
"So Rainbow Dash, I overheard that you hold the Element of...." Grass said, but got interrupted by Rainbow.
"LOYALTY! Yeah that's right! I, Rainbow Dash, hold the Element of Loyalty!" Rainbow said loudly moving around,and even getting close to Grass Marks invading his personal space. "You should've seen me and my friends; we saved Equestria from eternal night, and maybe even the Wonderbolts would accept me! You hear me Wonderbolts?" Rainbow moved close to the camera. "I just saved your butts! Now I would love to be accepted in your group! I've always wanted to do that!"
"Element of Loyalty, huh? Well looks ain't everything, sista." I said. "But I can't judge, I haven't met you yet. Unlike some ponies around here. Angry face!"
"Miss Pinkie Pie, you hold the Element of Laughter I see." Grass said.
Pinkie gasped. "AM I ON TV?!" Pinkie ran to the camera. "HI, MOM! HI, DAD! HEY, LIMESTONE! HEY, MARBLE! HEY, MAUD! I'M ON TV! HEY EVERYPONY WHO'S WATCHING, PARTY AT SUGARCUBE CORNER TONIGHT!"
"Ow! Do you have to scream?" the camera pony asked. Pinkie gave him an embarrassing smile and gave out a little squee.
"Her, I like! She's random like me, and they accept her! WHY DO PONIES ACCEPT OTHERS, BUT NOT ME?!" I complained.
"Unfortunately, Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness couldn't make it to this interview, counting that she's a little.... camera shy. So finally, we have Twilight Sparkle! The Element of Magic!" Grass said.
"A pleasure to be here, Grass Marks!" Twilight said.
"So tell us, how did you defeat Nightmare Moon?" Grass asked.
"Oh we didn't defeat her, we taught her the true meaning of friendship, which caused her anger to go away and turn back to normal." Twilight said. "It wasn't easy, but now that Luna was taught the true meaning of friendship, it just turns out that.... anything is possible! You need friendship in your life, otherwise you'd be like her. Angry, sad, alone, wanting to rule with an iron hoof. You know what I'm saying?"
"Yes, Miss Sparkle. I actually do!" Grass said.
"All the ponies in Ponyville are really nice. Much friendlier than when I was in Canterlot. If you need friendship, come down to Ponyville, and we'll teach you all about it! The power of friendship comes from within." Twilight said.
"Well you heard it hear folks! The Elements of Harmony! Friendship is Magic!" Grass said.
My eyelids grew back to normal and I was really surprised, and I had a feeling I never felt before. "That purple dork is right!" I said. "They all are right. The power of friendship comes from in here, in my kidney! It's all clear to me now. I know what I must do! Oh wait, I just lost it. Oh, it's back again! Oh great I lost it again. Oh I remember, but I should write it down, in case I forget about it again!" So I go into my cabinet and get a piece of paper and a pen to write down my idea. "Oh I forgot my idea again. BLAST!" So I've been thinking for a couple of weeks and I knew exactly what to do! I finally left my room. It wasn't easy to let my sister go on her road trip, or find out that Luna is no longer listening to me from the moon, but my parents saw me exit my room, and smiled.
"Hey buddy! You feeling better?" my dad asked.
"Actually, I do!" I said with a smile.
"Wow, you seemed to be in a good mood!" my mom said.
"I know it's come to this, but I found a plan!" I said.
"What's your plan?" my dad asked.
"Nuh uh uh! Winky face." I said as I winked at them.
"Huh?" dad asked.
“You’re weird, you weird guy.” Mom said.
"I ain't telling you jack-squat!" I said mischievously. "Not yet that is. Just hang on." My parents were concerned of what I was planning, and actually, I was planning opportunity! I went into the junkyard and found Swinebutt's old trailer. He wasn't using it anymore, so it's all mine! You see, after I saw the interview with the Mane Six, I figured I should move to Ponyville and finally experience the true meaning of friendship, but I couldn't go there like this. I thought it was an opportunity to change Porky's old trailer which was a lab, into a home! So I got started in cleaning up the mess I caused after I destroyed it. I made sure it was secured because the security system was the only thing that was still working, as well as some of the Swinebots inside that I couldn’t seem to get working.
So I took control of the security system, changing the password every few weeks. Soon enough, I finished cleaning the trailer. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. I made the kitchen first. Really, all I did was use some of the old junk from the junkyard, cleaned them with my water squirter, and I installed them. Can you believe it? My water squirter can make junk not look like junk anymore! The kitchen looked perfect! I did the bedroom next, then I made the bathroom look better, then I did the Lounge. I connected my XBUCKS and installed some computers, and I also found some old venting machines and soda machines in the junkyard, and I was like: "Eh, what the hay?" No uses having this stuff go to waste. I made the Living Room next, then the Guest Bedroom. I had an extra room, but I didn't know what to use it for, so I turned it into an exercise room when I found some weights in the junkyard and a treadmill. I thought it would be nice if ponies thought I was in shape. It took me almost year to get the trailer complete.
During the years, I lost some old fish, and got new fish. It's too bad. Mickey, OJ, Chuck, Spot, and this Darrel passed away, but this was the time for new fish! I got the Darrel you know now (Darrel IV), Rainbow, Dorthey, Yoyo, Pearl, and Piddles! I got to know them really well! I got to know them for a year, so I rather got attached to them. During the make-over of my new trailer, I saw another interview of the Mane Six after they defeated Discord. That's what kept persuading me to continue my mission to get the trailer done, but also, before I got the trailer done, I searched to see if there were any surviving junk Swinebutt left behind, and I finally got his Swinebots working. I would’ve gotten this trailer done much faster if I found out how to use them sooner.
Inside my new bedroom which used to be Swinebutt’s lab, I found a chest of some sort with the same C logo on it, and like the trailer, it was bigger on the inside. Swinebutt might’ve been researching this thing as well. Inside the chest I found some of Swinebutt’s personal belongings that he left behind, and some plans to build a very secure and tip-top working condition restaurant-type building which gave me the idea of building Flare’s Pizza Parlor. I had to make money some how when I settle in to Ponyville. Finally, the day has come, the last day I was in Mareami. It was my 25th birthday that I decided to go. I told my parents what was going down, and they were pretty upset at first.
"Flarey! Please don't leave us!" my mom begged in tears. “You’re my best friend pookie face!”
“No… I’m your pookie face best friend, get it right!” I corrected her.
“Why must you go? Its bad enough daddy works late and plays multiplayer games all night. I’m going to be basically alone.” My mom said.
“No you won’t. You still have Nana. Take care of her.” I instructed my mom.
“That’s why I cannot come along. Nana needs me.” mom said.
"Flare, just be careful, alright?” my dad asked.
“Dad, how many times do I have to ask you not to state the obvious all the time?” I asked him.
“I’m just trying to make sure you be careful.” Dad said.
“Call me. I love you so much, Flare, just checking.” Mom said.
“Just checking.” I nodded and smiled. “You two just wait. I’ll have exactly what I’m looking for, and I run the pizza joint in Equestria with the secret recipe grandma gave me.”
"I know you will, son. I know you will." my dad said. I hugged them both.
"Aww. It's gonna be sad. I'm gonna miss that pony. I was growing attached to him." Yoyo said.
"Uhh, Yoyo? We're actually going with him." Rainbow reminded him.
"We are?" Yoyo asked.
"Yeah, of course!" Rainbow said.
"YIPPIE!" Darrel cried. "RAINBOW, RAINBOW! WE'RE GOING WITH FLARE! YAY!" He started pushing Rainbow up.
"HEY, HEY! Darrel! Quit it!" Rainbow said. "Seriously, why did Flare bother getting a fourth Darrel?"
"I'm sure Ponyville will be very nice!" Pearl said.
"I hope so.” Piddles said. He looks over to the right of him and sees his reflection on a glass. “Who’s that? When did Flare get another of my kind?”
"Uhh, Piddles, I think that was your reflection." Pearl pointed out.
"I don’t know what that means, but he looks like a cool fish. I think him and I are going to get along.” Piddles smiled as his reflection. “He’s good looking, and somehow he’s copying everything I’m doing. Why is he doing that?”
"How about we stop arguing? Flare's doing himself a favor by moving out. Let's show him how respectful we can be while he's moving." Hoops said.
"Wow, one thing's for sure, it's gonna be some job when he moves the fish tank over to junk trailer he has." Dorthey said.
"How do you know its junky? Have you seen it before, Dorthey?" Pearl asked.
"No, but I heard Flare talking about it." Dorthey said.
"So what are your orders, oh great Hoops?" Darrel asked.
"Orders? I told you, I don't wanna be a leader. Trust me, Chuck was some leader." Hoops said.
"You and Rainbow are the only ones that ever met him!" Yoyo said.
"I know, but seeing his leader skills, and the way OJ and Mickey hated him, it was just.... wow. I really don't know what to say right now." Hoops said.
"Well, one thing's for sure, we gotta get ourselves prepared for the move. Because one thing's for sure, it's gonna be a bumpy ride." Rainbow said.
“Rainbow please!” a talking tiki head said to him. “It ain’t gonna be no bumpy unless ah say so, mon.”
"Alright, so before I go, I need to know, how to move the fish tank all the way down the street to the junkyard without harming them.” I said to my dad.
"Alright let me handle this." my dad said trying to pick up the fish tank, but it's too heavy for him.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing, dad?" I asked.
"Yes, yes, hang on." he said, still trying to pick it up, and then all the sudden, he cracked his back. "Ow! My back! OW!"
"Sub, you're a unicorn, you don't have to use your hooves." my mom reminded him.
"Well excuse me, but we won't have this magic all the time you know!" my dad advised her.
"Yeeeah, I'll take care of this." I said awkwardly.
“Good luck out there, Flare.” dad said.
“Nopony’s going to sing Soft Dalek for you though when you get sick.” Mom reminded me.
“Relax, mom, I’ll find somepony who will.” I comforted her.
So I moved the fish tank into my trailer and my trailer was finally ready. I'm ready to travel to Ponyville and make new friends, and I won't give up until I do! Goodbye Herb, goodbye Swinebutt, goodbye hatred, goodbye suffering! Hello friendship, hello love, hello happiness, and hello friendship morals that end up getting forgotten later on. So I attached myself to the trailer, but.... it was tough to pull at first.
"DOH! Why did I have to make an exercise room?" I said to myself. I kept pulling, and pulling, and pulling, like somepony giving birth, no wait that's pushing. So I pulled and pulled it and moved the trailer for over 20 minutes. After travelling this far, I decided to take a break. “Wow, this is some heavy trailer. I wonder how far I went?” I asked as I looked behind me and I saw the entrance to the junkyard right behind me. “I need to get assistance.”
So I tried from sling-shots to more wheels to jet rockets to explosive barrels but nothing happened. The trailer barely moved. “UGH! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE THIS TRAILER MOVE?!” I yelled, but suddenly I saw the parking boots that were holding the wheels were still on. “Oh.” I just facehoofed myself, removed the parking boot, and attached myself back onto the trailer, and just like that, I was moving easily. Not 100% easily because it’s a big heavy trailer and I’m no earth pony. And so, I walked out of Mareami, and after a mile or two away, I looked back and saw the lights in the Downtown area.
"Look, Mareami, it's not you, it's the ponies that live in you. I love you; you're the best city ever! You have everything, but the only thing you don't have is friendly ponies, and well.... I can't live with it anymore." I said to the city. "But no matter how far I go, you will always be home to me! I promise I'll come back and visit. Goodbye, Mareami." So I turned around and walked onto the interstate. I wouldn’ve taken a plane or a train to Ponyville, but can they fit a trailer like this inside one of those planes? As for train, I just didn’t want to take one because hobos. It was an upsetting ride for me and it wasn't easy. I was tired most of the way, but luckily I had my iced tea drinking hat on to take care of my thirst, and I had some Fiber One bars and Neutral Valley bars in my vest pockets. I had to avoid traffic on the highway, and ranting, and I could've been in carriage accidents if I wasn't so careful.
A time or two I checked my phone for any messages but the only thing I could find is spam text messages from my mom asking me to be careful. Even my Facebook had PMs filled with my mom’s worry and sorrow. “Jeez mom, don’t worry, I’ll be fine!” I complained to my phone. “How about pokes, do I have any pokes?” I checked my pokes to see if I had any. “Aaaaaaaand, yeah I have one poke. Bow Cannon Gun poked you.” I pressed the poke back button and then I said, “You poked Bow! You know, one day I hope I gain a friend in Ponyville that would love to have a poke war with me!”
Nightfall came, I was feeling really tired, but there was no rest stop nearby, so I kept going. I looked up into the moon and there was still no face, but I talked to her anyway. "Luna… I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" I cried. "I'm finally doing it! I'm going to Ponyville to make new friends! You live nearby; maybe I can meet you finally! But Ponyville is just another...." I looked at a sign that said Ponyville 400 miles away. "400 miles away. DANG IT! It's gonna take forever to get there! Maybe I should've taken a train and risk myself getting infections from hobos. No, no, it'll all be worth it when I get there. Waiting is just the challenge! But... I really need to find a place to rest."
"Who you talking to?" a pony in a carriage next to me asked.
"Mare in the Moon." I said.
"Well if you need a place to rest, how about your trailer?" he asked me.
"Well I know where I'm sleeping; I just need a safe place to settle." I said.
"Oh, well the next rest stop shouldn't be too far." the pony said.
"Thanks, brah! That was pretty friendly of you!" I said.
"Everypony needs it." the pony said. I smiled really big. That was a friendly pony, maybe he's from Ponyville. I have no idea though, but I don't wish to find out yet because I'm so tired right now! So I stopped by at the next rest stop so I can turn in for the night. I detached myself from the trailer and went inside. I made myself some dinner, but I was too tired to play any XBUCKs so I just turned in for the night, well after I brushed my teeth, showered, and fed the fish.
"Hey fishies!" I said to them. "Wow, some trip this is so far!"
"You're telling me! You've been shaking the trailer too much; it's making me tank sick!" Yoyo said.
"Same here." Dorthey said.
"So we at our new home yet?" Piddles asked.
"Hmm, let me check." Pearl said jumping out of the tank looking through the window then jumping back in. "No, it looks like a rest stop."
"Eh, I didn't expect us to get there right away anyway." Dorthey said. So I laid down on my bed, turned off the lights and fell asleep. I was dreaming of how fun Ponyville would be, how much LULZ I would spread, and how much hugs I'd get! It's gonna be so fun, brah! Almost as fun as when I went to Candy Kingdom with Swinebutt, and after we went on that rollercoaster he was sick the whole time! It wasn't funny then, but now it just makes me laugh because he deserves it! I hope I never see you again you porkchop! Oh and I was also dreaming of eating a Jamaican Tree Patty because it’s rare to find those these days. I woke up the next morning in a happier mood than I have before.
"MORNING FISHIES!" I yelled. They were startled by my yelling.
"Wow! You're high spirited today, Flare." Dorthey said.
"WOOO! YEAH FLARE! I KNEW YOU'D BE IN THE SPIRIT, I KNEW YOU WOULD!" Darrel yelled leaning against Rainbow.
"Hey, hey! Darrel, what did I tell you about leaning on me?" Rainbow complained.
So I ate some breakfast, and got myself some gum, attached myself onto the trailer again, and I went back on the road. I've been walking along the highway for days, and weeks turned into months… wait I think I skipped days turned into weeks, didn’t I? Oh well I said it now, and minutes turned into hours and all that stuff. After a while, already found myself in the desert region. I kinda got myself lost, maybe I took a wrong turn. I was using my GPS to take me to Ponyville and once I got to a cliff edge, the cliff was in front of me and my GPS told me to go straight! What is wrong with this thing? Trying to get me killed or something? So I wanted to settle down somewhere for a while, I needed to take a break. So I took my trailer to the nearest town – Applelossa. I didn't know much about this place, but it seemed to be like Ponyville. I didn't wanna live here because it seems a little too western for me, so I decided just to take a break here. I walked into town and saw all these southwestern ponies yee hawing and doing whatever dem western folk do, but one thing that puzzled me was, there was so many apple related stuff here, and there were buffalos too. I didn't know what the occasion was, is this some sort of apple-buffalo holiday I don't know about? I didn't feel like pulling my trailer anymore so I parked it near a well, and I thought I could use a drink over at the salt saloon. I walked inside the saloon, bursted the doors opened, and there were ponies playing cards, some were dancing, some were drinking, some were eating salt, but I don't know why because high blood pressure; and one was playing the piano. I walked inside, I looked around, and I walked to the bar and sat on a stool.
"Howdy! Welcome to Applelossa, fellow traveler!" the bartender said. "What can ah get ya?"
"You got any strawberry daiquiri?" I asked. Everypony in the saloon was silent, and they looked at me. "Lion face." I said.
The bartender laughed. "Yer funny, partner! You're in APPLEloosa; we don't have none of dem strawberries here!" Everyone in the bar laughed; and me, I just laughed along. I was kinda liking this place, they didn't give me a funny look because I was laughing. Maybe I could get used to this!
“So you have an apple daiquiri then?” I asked.
“Sure! Ya want an orange slice with that?” the bartender asked. I gotta say I liked this bartender’s enthusiasm, and his mustache.
So I stayed for a while to hang. I was playing cards for some of the pony folk, and how did I do? Decent, but it was fun regardless! After a couple of hours, I had enough of cards, so I went outside for some fresh air. I can’t stand this heat though. Unlike Mareami, this heat is dry. At least Mareami’s heat is moist. So I went to look around. I saw horse-drawn carriages, and horse-drawn- actually I don’t need to explain the town. You already know about the town already. So if I’m going to be staying here for a little while, I’ll need to gain a good reputation here, so I looked around to see who needed help, and up ahead I found a poor pony struggling to pull a cart full of apples. I went up to the pony to see if he would accept.
“Sup brah?” I asked the pony.
“Howdy, stranger.” The pony said. “Welcome to AAAAAAAAPPLELOS- ow! Sorry… ah… ah normally give a more welcoming hospitality to newcomers but ah’m in a bit of a tight spot right now.”
“That’s pretty much what I needed to ask you. Need any help?” I asked.
“Oh no thanks, partner. I have this under control.” The pony said.
“Oh, well… alright…” I said as I leaned on his cart. “If you need any-“ just then, the cart collapses after I leaned on it and apples started piling up around the ground. “Oh sorry about that.”
“Oh, umm, it’s alright, partner.” The pony smiled at me and said. “Come to think of it, ah guess ah do need help after all.”
“Cool, and I totally did not break your cart on purpose just so I would force you to change your mind on me helping you. Zzzzzzero chance.” I said.
“Well hot diggidy dog then!” the pony said excitedly.
“Since when did that become a phrase anyway? It sounds stupid.” I said.
“It’s mah thing, partner. Got a problem?” the pony asked.
“Oh no, I don’t. Please do not think I’m trying to offend you in any way.” I said.
“No worries, buddy, ah’m a laid back type of pony.” The pony said.
“Cool! What’s your name, pony that looks like he likes stallions?” I asked.
“Ugh! Don’t get me started on that!” he said in an annoyed tone. “T’ain’t fair to me that everypony thinks ah think like that only because my hair is long.”
“Don’t worry, bro. I’ve been judged before I was known in the past. I’m not a perfect pony though. Some of those rumors about me are true.” I said. “I am good-looking.”
“Well careful how ya talk, partner. Ah’m ok with it, but others might not.” the pony said.
“Gotcha, pal! Winky face. Wow, I already learned a friendship lesson!” I said excitedly. “Anyways, you didn’t tell me your name yet.”
“The name’s Braeburn!” he said.
“Nice to meet you, Brain-Burn! I’m Flare.” I introduced myself with my hoof out.
Braeburn began to chuckle as he shook my hoof. “Brain-Burn, that’s funny. Nice to meet ya Glare.”
“A pony that shares my sense of humor! I like that!” I said as I shook his hoof back. Yeah I was pretty pathetic back then, wasn’t I? I had to learn the hard way that not everypony is like Braeburn here because the folks I was playing cards with kicked me out of the game because of the insecure jokes I’ve been telling them, and not to mention the bartender kicked me out because I kept telling the customers to stop having salt in sake of their blood pressure, but I was only trying to save them from that. Also before I met Braeburn when I was talking about the horse-drawn carriages, I installed some jet rockets on the horse-drawn carriages so the rider would have more fun, but I guess I was wrong about that. Yes these jet rockets were the exact same jet rockets as I used to help get my trailer out of the junkyard back in Mareami. Oh that reminds me; I also put the parking boot on one of the carriage wheels, which was one of the reasons why the jet rocket carriage trick failed.
So as Braeburn got a new cart and brought it to me, I helped him put the piled apples onto the cart so it’ll be like I haven’t broken his cart in the first place. “There you go, Bray! I hope you bought yourself a more stable cart this time.” Just then the cart breaks.
“No ah didn’t.” Braeburn said.
“Here let me help you out with something. Wait here.” I instructed him as I went over to the cart stand to get more carts. I bought two carts over to Braeburn and I put half the apples in one cart and half the apples in the other. “There we go, Bray! Now each of us gets to pull a cart. No need for hassle, no need for overweight cart breaking.”
“Much obliged, Flare!” Braeburn said.
“I’m only doing what I think is right, brah. I still have much to learn.” I said.
“We all do.” Braeburn said. “Now then, now that there’s less apples on this weight limited cart, ah can finally let my 500 pound ma take a ride.”
Just then, Braeburn’s 500 pound mom suddenly jumps onto Braeburn’s and yells in a very deep voice, “YAY!”
“Ah love mah ma.” Braeburn said.
“Can she cook up some delicious treats?” I asked him.
“Y’all would love her sweet apple tarts!” Braeburn said.
“I love your ma too, Braeburn.” I nodded.
“Ew, keep yer personal feelings to yerself, partner.” Braeburn commented. So Braeburn and I went over to the Appleloosa general store to drop off the apples and Braeburn collected his payment for them. “Here’s yer cut.” he offered.
“Oh no thanks, I don’t want a cut.” I refused.
“You sure?” Braeburn asked.
“Yes, but thank you for your offer.” I nodded.
“Not a problem, partner.” Braeburn said as he places the bits in his pocket. “Ah thought ya would’ve loved a little money in yer pocket.”
“Oh… so that’s what cut means?” I asked. “Oh I should’ve accepted it. I thought you were going to cut me with a knife or something?”
“So then, Flare, ah see yer new to town.” Braeburn said.
“Uhh, no, what made you think that?” I teased.
Braeburn chuckled a bit. “Ah like you, Flare. Where do ya come from?”
“I’m from Mareami.” I said.
"Well darn tootin!" Braeburn said excitedly. "Ah have a cousin that live over there in Mareami. Applebees is her name. She owns a popular restaurant-chain.”
“I met her before.” I said.
“Really? Cool! Well any friend of a relative is a friend of mine. Yer gonna love AAAAAAPPLELOOSA!” Braeburn cried out.
“Thanks, but I’m not going to be staying here for long.” I said.
“Oh… ah see.” Braeburn said upsettingly.
“No don’t take it like that. I’m just passing through. I need to go to Ponyville. I’ve had so many friendship issues back at home, and I heard those who hold the Elements of Harmony can help me redeem myself.” I explained. “I need friends, Braeburn. I mean, I know you and I get along great, but to be honest, this town doesn’t have a Cheesecake Factory, and I’m a bit upset about that.”
“It’s cool, partner.” Braeburn said. “Ah realize what yer goin’ through. Yer gonna love Ponyville! Ah have three cousins that live there, as well as mah granny.”
“Is your granny included in the cousins category?” I teased.
“Heh! Good one.” Braeburn chuckled.
“But I’m not going to be leaving here right away.” I admitted. “I’ve had such a long trip and I’m lost. I just want to settle down here for just a few days, and perhaps some directions to Ponyville.”
“Well, Appleloosa would be glad to help out, partner.” Braeburn said. “Please stay as long as ya need, but be aware that we do have buffalo friends here.”
“Buffalos don’t bother me as long as they’re nice.” I said.
Braeburn chuckles a bit. “Trust me, they’re friendly. They weren’t always friendly but we did settle our differences.”
“Actually… you weren’t the friendly ones and we settled our differences then.” A buffalo corrected him.
Braeburn sighs. “Really, Samuel, how many times we gonna argue ‘bout this?”
“Just stating the facts.” Samuel said.
“It doesn’t matter to me.” I said.
“It matters to me.” Samuel said.
“Thank you, Samuel.” Braeburn said in an irritated tone.
“No, Braeburn, thank you.” Samuel argued with him as he stampedes away back to his herd.
“Sorry ‘bout him.” Braeburn said to me.
"This place is very interesting, brah.” I said. “Y’know, I've always wanted to do a little western duel! I just stand over here looking badplot, just staring at my opponent while the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly theme song plays in the background, and then like what Heavy Weapons Guy does... POW, HA HA!" I startled Braeburn after I said that.
"Well, y’all won't find anything like that here." he said.
"Aww. I wanna do a duel!” I whined.
"Well actually, it’s traditional to have a buffalo-pony duel here once in a while, and by traditional, ah mean we just had this idea a couple of weeks ago.” Braeburn said. “But it wouldn’t hurt to have a pony vs. pony duel.”
“Sounds like fun! We should totally do one tonight!” I suggested.
“Well first ah have to get the rest of mah chores done and it sounds like a deal.” Braeburn said.
"Oh I can help you with your work!" I suggested.
"Aw, shucks. That's very kind of you, but... ah couldn't." he said.
"Oh it's no big deal. You’re pretty friendly to me, and that’s rare. You didn’t judge me before you got to know me. I know I have issues with my personality that I need to fix but that’s why I’m moving to Ponyville, to just do that.” I explained.
"Awww that’s very kind.” Braeburn smiled. “Alright ya can help me with mah chores.”
"Aww, do I have to?" I whined.
"What? But.... y’all just asked to help me out." he reminded me.
"Help you out with what?" I asked. We both were silent for a second.
"What are ya talkin’ about again?" Braeburn asked eventually.
"What are YOU talking about?" I asked. He was silent again, but then he chuckled.
"Yer funny, partner. So y’all wanna help a fella out, huh?" he asked.
"Affirmative!" I said.
"Uhh, what does that mean?" he asked after I said that.
"It means 'sure', but in army talk." I said.
"Ooooooh!" he nodded. "Ah had no idea ya were in the army!"
"I'm not. I played alot of army games though." I said.
"Ah see." he nodded.
"So do y’all need help with partner?" I asked.
"Nice accent." he said. "Ah have another batch apples over here that needs to be taken to a delivery carriage on the other side of town. These apples are goin’ to Dodge Junction.”
"Good idea, but why bother?" I asked.
"Beg yer pardon?" he asked.
"Why deliver these apples to a carriage? Why can't the truck just come to the apples so we don't have to carry a bunch of them all the way across town?" I asked.
Braeburn chuckles a bit and places his arm around my neck. “It doesn’t work that way, Flare.”
“Regardless though, I’m glad to help out.” I said as I attached myself on another apple cart filled with apples.
“Glad ya can help!” Braeburn said as he attached himself on the same exact cart I’m attached to. “Ah was gonna let mah sister Apple Fritter help me out, but she says she had ‘other business’ to take care of. Ah have no idea what she means by that.”
“Wait, why are we attached to this same cart?” I asked.
“This cart requires two ponies to pull. Either that or one big strong pony like one of mah cousins in Ponyville.” Braeburn said.
“Well you know apples best, Bray-bum… sorry… I’m not good with tough names.” I admitted. “I mean I once had a classmate by the name of Rimmington Rig-Rig.
“Really?” Braeburn asked.
"Really, really.” I said. “Richest kid in school, and he thought he was better than everypony else. I hate ponies that are like that!"
"Oh, ya should've seen a magician that came here quite some time ago. Great and Powerful Trixie her name was." he said.
"Never heard of her." I said helping Braeburn pull the cart towards the delivery carriage.
"Well she was a bit of a show-off." he said.
"Eww, you mean she's one of those mares from the adult clubs?" I asked.
"Beg yer pardon?” he asked.
"Forget what I said. She's a supermodel?" I asked.
"Oh hay no!" he said. "She was a unicorn magician."
"Oh that doesn't sound so bad." I said.
"But she thinks her magic is better than everypony else's." he said. “We don’t really have any other pony race other than earth ponies here so there’s that too.”
"Oh I don't go to far. I show-off my magic, but only for the lulz." I said.
"Where are y’all from? Yer tellin me garbage ah never heard of before." he said.
"I told you, I'm from Mareami." I said.
"Mareami, right right!" he said at the same time I said Mareami.
"No, no, don't do that. Don't say the last word of my sentence pretending you knew what I was talking about, because you have no clue." I advised him.
"Ah just remembered, sorry!" he complained.
"It's alright." I said. So we arrived at the delivery truck with the cart of apples and we started putting the crates inside.
"Phew! Thanks for the help, Flare!" Braeburn said to me giving me an apple.
"No problemo, Braeburn! This apple looks good, thanks!" I said.
"Ah know! Taste the big, juicy, nice delicious liquid inside that'll go in your mouth and make it wet!" he said.
"Eww, now I don't want it!" I said in a disgusted tone, giving it back to him.
"Oh, alright." he said eating the apple. I gave him a disgusting look after he ate it.
"What? Why ya givin me that look?" he asked.
"Huh? Oh nothing. I just saw a little apple crumb on your lip right there." I said pointing to it.
"Huh? Oh thank ya." he said, wiping his face.
"Hey, mind showing me around this town? Telling me a bit about it?" I asked.
"Well darn tootin!" Braeburn cried. "This is AAAAAAPLELOOSA, the happiest western town in Equestria! You'd love it here, youngster!"
"Youngster? How old do you think I am?” I asked.
“Ah dunno, 24?” Braeburn asked.
“Close, 25.” I corrected him.
“Wow, ya must be old. Ah’m only 4.” Braeburn said.
“Oh wait, we talking in horse years?” I asked.
So Braeburn started showing me around Applelossa, or AAAAAPLELOOSA he calls it; he adds waaaaaay too many A’s to the name. He also told me the history of the town, like the battle when the buffalos attacked the town because their apple orchard was in the way, but that war wouldn’ve started if a certain pink pony didn’t provoke them. Braeburn says she was the true antagonist of that battle, but they all made their peace. After a few hours, during dusk, we were on the cliff edge on one of the canyons and saw the great view of the apple orchard. I was pretty impressed with the view. Can’t find something like this in Mareami.
"Well I'll be a piece of mouse gathering cheese from a mouse trap after he was starving from hunger because the owners of the house hated mice but were allergic to cats so they could only get mouse traps and the cheese that was on the trap was rotten and was actually radishes that looked and smelled like cheese and the radish came from a market that served mostly carrots and shrooms and lawn mowers, and...." I said, but then Braeburn chuckled which cut me off.
"Wow, that's the longest 'well i'll be' phrase ah ever heard!" he said.
"Well I was pretty surprised of this view." I said. "I never seen a view like this. The only views I ever seen was the beach, the streets, and the tall buildings from Downtown. If I'm lucky, I get to see the Ferris wheel or the castle from the Candy Kingdom theme park, or the Terror Tower from the Galatic Studios theme park."
"Mareami seems to be a nice place, Flare." Braeburn said.
"It is. The only problem is, all the ponies there are jerks to me. Talking garbage and making me sad face." I said.
"Ah'm sorry to hear that, partner." he said patting me in the back.
"You know, this seemed to be a very nice town, I really enjoyed it!" I said.
"Why don't ya'll stay here?" he asked. "It's a great place to live!"
"Well don't get me wrong, Bernie. I less then three’d it here! I really did!" I admitted.
“But…” Braeburn wanted to hear me.
“What about butts?” I asked.
“No, ah-“ Braeburn started to chuckle. “Ya sound like a Facebook admin when ya say that. Butts.”
I chuckled along. “I do.”
“But yeah ah understand. Yer destiny in Ponyville.” Braeburn understood.
“Well actually I was going to say its too hot here and there’s snakes and scorpions, but yeah sure, let’s go with that reason!” I nodded and smiled.
"Hey, remember when ya said about that duel ya wanted?" he asked.
"Yeah, why? You wanna do it?" I asked.
"Sure, why not?" he nodded.
"Cooleyo!" I cried in excitement. "I'll go to my trailer, go get my cowcolt outfit, and we can go duel! This is going to be so fun, man!”
“Ah know, partner! It’s gonna be more fun than a tornado in a trailer park!” Braeburn said.
A cutaway shows Braeburn about to throw a frisbee to his friend. “Alright buddy, catch the frisbee and then throw it back at me alright? Here it comes!” So Braeburn throws the Frisbee to his friend who is actually a tornado, so the tornado catches the Frisbee. “Nice catch! Now just throw it back!” Just then a cow gets thrown at Braeburn, and then two stallions in a row boat, and then a witch.
“Hello, my little pretty!” the witch said to Braeburn, and then a house falls right on the witch leaving only her feet out.
“Ok maybe this game isn’t really yer thing, buddy. What kind of game do ya wanna play instead?” Braeburn asked, and then suddenly the tornado throws the game Twister at Braeburn. “Twister huh?”
“Yeah it’s a fun game, if you catch my drift.” The tornado said to him. The cutaway ends.
So I went home to go find my cowboy outfit. Bad news is, I couldn't find it; I have a pile of clothes in my closet and all I can find is my dancing tuxedo, hat, and cane. So I decided to wear that for the duel. Braeburn was waiting for me at the town square along with the rest of the town who wanted to watch.
"Alrighty, Flare! Where are ya? Ah'm ready for ya!" Braeburn yelled.
"I'm right here, Braeburn!" I said, standing across from him, probably 70 feet from him.
He laughed when he saw my tux. "What's goin on, partner? Goin to a dance? That's not yer cowcolt outfit!"
"No, I couldn't find it. I can only find this, but I did find my radio I can plug my Ipod to." I said, taking it out, and turning on the French Mistake song from the movie Blazing Saddles, I danced to the song and sang it. "Throw out your hooves, stick out your toushe, hooves on your hips, get on a bush, you'll be surprised you're doing the French mistake, WA-LA!"
"So what we gonna do, partner? We gonna duel, or we gonna dance?" Braeburn asked.
I gave him a mischievous look. "BOTH!" I said. So then I changed the music to the Good, The Bad, and The Ugly theme song. I got in position, and I just stared at Braeburn mischievously, he did the same to me. The ponies in town just watched us as we were prepared to duel. I was just about to give Braeburn my first move, my SHOOP DA WHOOP. "IMMA FIRIN MAH..." But before I could finish, the duel was interrupted by Sheriff Silverstar.
"Hold yer horses there! Ah'm cancellin this duel!" the sheriff said.
"Aww what?" I complained.
"Sheriff, it's just a play duel. Nopony was gonna get hurt. He was gonna use his magic, and I was gonna use this water, and a couple of apple pies." Braeburn said.
"Sorry Braeburn, but that pony is no longer welcomed here!" he said, pointing to me.
"Didn't your parents tell you it wasn't polite to point, Sheriff?” I asked.
"Don't back talk me mister! Ah’ve had a bunch of complaints about you.” The sheriff said to me. As it turns out I done this town wrong as I spent my time here. Remember when I said I was thrown out of cards and the bar for some of things I did? Well they also reported to the sheriff of what I did. That’s not all though; when I went to give Braeburn some spare carts for the apples he had trouble with, I forgot to pay for those carts, and to make things worse, I insulted the mare at the general store for having nice buns. I dunno why though. I was just complimenting the package of poppy-seeded buns on one of the store shelves.
“Yep, I messed up, just like I always do.” I said in an emotionless tone. “You know, at this point, I’m not even surprised anymore. Maybe I should just head over to Ponyville now.”
“Yeah perhaps that’s for the best, son.” The sheriff said.
“Now hold on, sheriff. We all make mistakes.” Braeburn said. “Flare here was only tryin’ to help. Ah know he kinda aggregated ponies with his jokes, his logic, and his horrible choices, but he’s not perfect. Nopony is. This pony has helped me out with mah chores all day, and to us Apples, that means something. This pony has a mission to go to Ponyville and learn from his mistakes with the help of the Elements of Harmony. Ah know it’s no excuse to do what he did to y’all, but everyone learns from his or her mistakes from time to time. They all do.”
“Braeburn’s right,” the bartender agreed. “but then again, I’m only agreeing because he owns the main source of food in this town.”
“Nuh uh, that’s not the reason why you should be forgiving him.” I said.
“It’s not?” the bartender asked.
“NO! Nopony, not even Swinebutt, has actually stood up for me before.” I said as I placed my hoof on Braeburn’s shoulder. “Bray-bum here- I mean… sorry, I know I had your name right before, but I’m really not good at names.”
“No worries.” Braeburn said.
“This here pony did something that nopony else did. Everypony was always against me, all because of rumors from just one pony.” I said. “I know rumors and gossip are sometimes true judging by the way someone acts, but that’s still no way to believe in that gossip. The only way you can actually know the true personality of one is to actually give them a chance, which is the only thing I ever wanted – a chance. A chance to prove myself that I’m not the idiot everypony seems to think. I do stupid things a lot, and I wish to learn from them, but sometimes… you must dare to be stupid.” Everypony was a little curious on that last thing I said.
“Dare to be stupid?” Braeburn asked.
“Dare to be stupid – Cheese Sandwich, my idol, taught me that.” I said. “He’s the funniest song artist out there, but his music actually means something to me, and I’ll show you why!”
From my iPod and portable stereo, I turned on an 80s upbeat electro music. I began to dance like a robot and nod my head from corner to corner to the beat of the music, and I began to sing. “Put down your chainsaw and listen to me – it’s time for us to join in the fight – it’s time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys, it’s time to let the bedbugs bite!” As I sang that, a couple of adult stallions were in cribs wearing diapers, bandanas, and cowboy hats, and they took out a revolver out of their diapers, and then at the ‘bedbugs bite’ part showed a live-action stop-motion animation of toy bed bugs inside of a bed.
“You better put your eggs in one basket-“ I sang as I placed a dozen eggs in a basket with a hole underneath. “You better count your chickens before they hatch-“ the eggs that fell underneath the basket all hatched up into chickens, except one who hatched into a duck. “You better sell some wine before its time-“ What I did there was pretty obvious. “You better find yourself an itch to scratch!” a random pony back flips into a flat piece of cardboard on the ground and begins to scratch his back on it.
“You better squeeze all the Charmin you can, when Mr. Wimpole’s not around…” I sang as a couple of trolls (not internet trolls, fantasy trolls) started squeezing a bunch of Charmin toilet paper while sitting at a dining room table, and then a dinosaur wearing an Uncle Sam outfit waves to the camera as he zoops by and the scene changes showing my head inside a microwave oven and spinning around. “Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan!” Braeburn, as he sits on a fence wearing a cowboy outfit, begins to use his bass guitar to provide an instrumental before the next line of the song; and then I start using drum sticks on some feet to provide the electronic beat.
“Talk with your mouth full…” I sang with a mouth full of hayburger and was playing with four paddle balls with my magic. “Bite the hoof that feeds you…” I stuff a whole pie in my mouth. “Bite on more than you can chew…” I stuff a whole shoe box in my mouth. “What can you do? You can-“ a group of ponies then popped out from my mouth and shouted, “Dare to be stupid!”
“Take… some wooden nickels – look… for Mr. Goodbar...” I sang as I threw some wooden nickels in a fireplace and then took out a Mr. Goodbar chocolate bar, and when I opened it up, a live pony with a name tag that says ‘Mr. Goodbar’ pops out as I sing this next part. “Get your mojo working now, what can you do?”
“Dare to be stupid!” Mr. Goodbar and I both shouted.
“You can turn the other cheek…” I sang as a random pony uses a toaster guitar. “You can just give up the SHIP!” I sang with a monitor over my mouth with the exact words on the screen appearing one of at a time, and before the next line, some Poptarts pop out of the toaster guitar the last random pony used. “You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip!” I sang as I did just that, and the sushi chef gets angry and starts yelling as he holds his cleaves in the air.
“Dare to be stupid!” me and three other random ponies sang as we were standing in a row, looking north-west and then sticking some ice cream comes on our foreheads like unicorn horns. “Come on and dare to be stupid!” we sang again.
“It’s all easy to do!” I sang as a couple of greeks started playing chess and a shadow of a dinosaur appears in the background.
“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.
“We’re all waiting for yooooou!” I sang. “LET’S GO!” The electro instrumental beat started playing in the background again as a stop-motion of me walking through a weird looking and colorful city (something you’d see if you overdosed). Oh and I also had a bucket on my head and I wore a yellow jumpsuit. In fact I wore a yellow jumpsuit since I first started singing this.
“It’s time to make a mountain out of a mole hill so can I have a decider?” I sang, and I don’t need to mention what I did. “There’s no more time for crying over spilled milk, now it’s time for crying in cider! Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA – buy some sensible shoes at the Chevyrolet – and party ‘till you’re broke and they drive you away – it’s ok… you can dare to be stupid! It’s like spitting on a fish… it’s like barking up a tree…” I barfed up a whole tree after I sang that. “It’s like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get free!” I sang as I popped my head out of a bucket of popcorn.
“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.
“Yeah!” an evil mastermind of me sang as I lit a made some celery out of Apple Fritter’s hair and then lit a pile of tires on fire.
“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.
“It’s so easy to do!” I sang as I flipped some pancakes on a grill that turned out to be the burning tires.
“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.
“We’re all waiting for you!” I sang as I squirted ketchup on the tire pancakes.
“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.
“Burn your candle at both sides…” I sang as I played my accordion while drinking chocolate milk. “Look a gift horse in the mouth…” I sang as I coughed up a wrapped up present. “Mashed potatoes can be your friends!” I sang as I popped my head out of a pot of mashed potatoes, and then after I sang that, the pot cap gets shut right on top of me. After singing all that, Braeburn continues sitting on the fence and playing his bass guitar while a cardboard cow walks by behind him and a Mexican restaurant cactus lights up behind him.
“You can be a coffee achiever – you can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver…” I sang as the trolls from before started hoping on their couch and watched Leave It To Beaver on TV. “The future’s up to you, so whatcha gonna do?” the cardboard dancer that was scratching himself on the cardboard started spinning around on the cardboard.
“Dare to be stupid! Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.
“What did I say?” I sang.
“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.
“Tell me WHAT did I say?”
“Dare to be stupid!”
“It’s alright!”
“Dare to be stupid!”
“We can be stupid all night!”
“Dare to be stupid!”
“Come on join the crowd!”
“Dare to be stupid!”
“Shout it out loud!” I sang.
“Dare to be stupid!” the chorus sang.
“I can’t hear you!”
“Dare to be stupid!”
“Ok I can hear you now!”
“Dare to be stupid!” just then, in a pattern between me and everypony in town started saying ‘dare to be stupid’ a few more times before the song finally ended. Everypony in Appleloosa except for the sheriff began to cheer. I must say, I felt pretty good for myself. Thank you, Cheese Sandwich, for your inspiration!
“It’s true, it’s so true!” one of the ponies in the crowd said.
“Cheese Sandwich was sure an inspiration to you to know all those lyrics like that!” another pony from the crowd said.
“Well if you want to call him up. He’ll throw you a mean party here in town!” I suggested.
“We should do exactly that one day!” Chief Thunderhooves agreed.
“Thank you for that inspiration, Mr…” Little Strongheart said but stopped herself because she didn’t know my name.
“Just call me… Flare Gun! Praise the Wizards!” I shouted.
“Well you’re still not welcomed here.” Sheriff Silverstar said to me.
“But Sheriff!” Braeburn tried to reason with him.
“I’m in charge here, Braeburn. Remember that.” the sheriff reminded him.
“But, Sheriff, I… I sang for you all, and that has to mean something!” I begged.
“Yeah it means you just wasted everypony’s time. Now leave this town before I arrest you.” The sheriff demanded.
“Sheriff…” Braeburn said.
“THAT’S AN ORDER!” the sheriff yelled at me.
“Braeburn… c’mon! I got your name right so you should help me!” I begged.
“Ah’m sorry, Flare Gun, but Sheriff Silverstar runs this town. At least until we’re bright enough to actually elect a mayor, he makes the rules.” Braeburn said.
I felt so hurt. Just because one pony doesn’t like me, everyone has to agree with him. It didn’t feel fair to me. “So that’s it huh?!” I yelled. “All of you going to just listen to one pony! Just because one pony that’s actually in charge, or even popular, doesn’t like me, that automaticly means ALL OF YOU WON’T LIKE ME?!”
“It’s not like that though, partner.” Braeburn said.
“NO! It’s exactly like that! Just because he’s your leader doesn’t actually mean you have to listen to him all the time!” I yelled. “Do what you think is right!”
“In this case, Crimson… the rules ARE right!” the sheriff said.
“Wait what did he say?” Apple Fritter asked.
“FINE! BE THAT WAY!” I yelled. “You all are the same! ALL OF YOU! "YOU KNOW WHAT?! WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?! I LEFT MAREAMI FOR A REASON: TO MAKE FRIENDS! AND EVERYWHERE I GO, ALL I GET IS GARBAGE TALK FROM EVERYPONY I MEET! MAYBE I SHOULDN'T EVEN MOVE TO PONYVILLE! WILL THEY ACCEPT ME?! NO OF COURSE NOT! MAYBE I SHOULD MOVE MY TRAILER SOMEWHERE WHERE I COULD BE ALONE! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?! HUH?!" The townfolk just stared at me in shock. I just started to cry again and then I attached myself to my trailer, and I started running as fast I could; although, my trailer was going pretty slow as I continued crying and running. As I was running and weeping, I was actually digging a hole with my fast hooves. I realized I was in sand, not asphalt, so I ran again but not as fast. After a while, I left town and I never looked back. Back in town, Braeburn glared at the sheriff.
"Satisfied with yerself?" Braeburn asked him.
"It was for the best, Braeburn. We needed to keep our code." the Sheriff said. “Those who break the law of our town shall be thrown out or arrested.”
"So that means ya have to break the code of makin this the happiest place on Earth? Ya'll know nothin about friendship!" Braeburn said.
"What about dem buffalos that were here earlier?" the sheriff asked.
"Besides then, y’all know nothin about accepting others! Ah feel sorry for that pony, and ah'm gonna do something about this, so when he gets to Ponyville, he'll be the happiest stallion ever." Braeburn yelled, walking away. The town folk just glared at the sheriff for what he did, and they all went back inside their homes. The Sheriff just stood there angry, but then after a few seconds, he realized what he did, so he sadly looked down, and then back up at a blinking yellow traffic light. Yep, that there was a Cars reference.
“All this pain for just small change?” Sheriff Silverstar asked himself.
“You did what you thought was right, Sheriff.” A random pony patted the sheriff on the back and comforted him. “You do what you are told to earn this loot.”
“But why though? How can greed get into mah head like this?” the sheriff asked.
“My boss is a very powerful pony, sheriff.” The pony associate said to the sheriff. “Unless you want this town to suffer the same fate as Crimson Flare Gun.”
The sheriff sighed. “Yer right. Ah must protect this town at all cost. Tell yer boss he has nothin’ to worry about. He’s gone, and he’s probably givin’ up now.”
“Good. Thank you for your business, Sheriff Silverstar.” The associate said as he held his hoof out so the sheriff can shake it. The sheriff just smacked his hoof away and just walked back over to his office. “Fine, be that way. At least mission accomplished.
“Or is it?” a voice in the background asked as an apple pie gets splattered on the associate’s face.
“What in the world?” the associate asked, but before he was able to wipe the pie mess out of his face, he gets kicked in the face by a random pony and falls on the ground. “AAAH! What the hay?!”
“Your boss may be a powerful pony but he still must obey the laws of Equestria.” The voice said.
“Who… who are you?” the associate asked.
Just then, out of the shadows, Apple Fritter shows up and glares at him. “Ah am a reprehensive of the FDA, and you are under arrest.”
“FDA?” the associate asked.
“Oh, what mah boy Jerry is gonna do to scum like you.” Apple Fritter said mischievously at the associate.
“What gave me away?” the associate asked.
“How did Sheriff Silverstar know Flare’s first name – Crimson?” Apple Fritter asked.
“Oh… right.” The associate understood.
“Time to make sure you and yer boss lose trace of Flare. He must get the peaceful life he deserves.” Apple Fritter said. I had no idea what was going on back there. I had no idea that Sheriff Silverstar actually sold me out to whoever was trying to ruin my reputation at Appleloosa. Also, FDA? What does that stand for? Perhaps we’ll find that out sometime in the future, but for now, my sorrow.
So, I ran miles away from Applelossa with my trailer. I just kept running, not looking where I was going, so yeah I ran into a couple of cacti, but I didn’t care. No physical pain can top the mental pain I have. Just then suddenly, I ended up on the top of a canyon. It was a dead end once I reached the cliff edge. I detached myself from my trailer, and I laid near the cliff edge where I continued to sob. After a little while, I looked up into the moon.
"Hey, at least you're happy!" I yelled at the moon. "Me? I can never find happiness or friendship. Happiest town on Earth, my flank!" I threw a rock down the cliff, and I screamed. "HOW?! HOW CAN I FIND THE RESPECT I DESERVE!? I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS! I NEVER ASKED TO BE THIS WAY! Why can't ponies ever accept me for who I am? But at the same time, how can I be a better pony?! How can I be a good friend?! I cannot do it alone! Who will help me?! Ponies these days are a bunch of jerks! I give up! I'm just gonna move in exile, and I won't have to worry about friendship ever again! No more suffering!" For a few minutes, I just laid there, wept some more, but then I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't care, they can steal everything, kill me for that matter! End my misery.
"If you're gonna kill me then just do it! I have no reason left to go on!" I said.
"You know, Flare Gun, I was just like you once." a familiar voice said.
"Huh? How did you know my name? Who in the Wizard of Feelings are you?" I asked, but then I looked, and I saw it was Princess Luna behind me. "Oh, your highness!" I bowed to her. "Princess Luna! My apologies! I didn't see you!"
"Its okay, Flare Gun, it's okay." she said.
"It is?" I asked.
"Of course!" she said.
“No it’s not, you’re lying.” I said.
“Ok yes, I am lying, it is not ok, but that’s beside the point.” Luna said.
"Why are you here?" I asked. "It's my destiny to be forever alone. I'm gonna make up a forever alone meme mask to wear on my face."
"Flare Gun, please sit down, and listen to me." Luna said.
"I'm already sitting." I said.
"Then just listen." she said and put her arm around me, and leanedose to her. "I've been through where you are today. When I was Nightmare Moon, nopony liked me, everypony ignored me, everypony thought I was evil. When I was banished in the moon, everypony either forgotten about me or thought I was evil. But there was one pony that didn't think I was evil. One pony thought I was their best friend, even at a time I didn't deserve it. You know who that particular pony was?"
"Celestia?" I asked.
"No." she said.
"The Wonderbolts?" I asked.
"Try again." she said.
"John Williams?" I asked.
"Who?" she asked.
"The pony who makes the Star Wars music." I said.
"Oh. No. Give up?" she asked.
"Sigh. Fine, who?" I asked.
"It was you!" she said, poking me in the nose.
"Me? How can it be me? I never met you!" I asked. “Plus I’m sure there were more.”
“Yes there were more; even some more interesting than you, no offense.” Luna said.
“None taken.” I said. “I’ve seen the Snowdrops story and nothing can beat her.”
"I thought I was alone for all time; I thought I didn't have everypony." Luna said. "I look down in the ponies in Equestria, so jealous, seeing they all get along down there, leaving me alone up here. I cried myself to sleep every night because of that. But then I saw one pony down at Mareami beach, one that was.... actually talking to me!" Luna started tearing up a bit. "It really made me happy to see that one pony actually cares about me, one that actually felt how I felt. It wasn't easy being alone, Flare Gun. You and I share this common matter, and I'll never forget it."
"Are you just saying this because you feel sorry for me?" I asked.
"No, not just that! I actually enjoyed you talking to me. You're telling me all these interesting stories, and walkthroughs of your video games, and.... umm.... cooking with your grandmother!" Luna said.
"Yeah.... that's true." I said.
“But I didn’t like that joke you said about you being able to see my ‘full-moon’.” Luna said.
“Heh, sorry ‘bout that.” I chuckled.
"Flare Gun, you've made me happy these last couple of decades I was gone, and I really want to return the favor." Luna said.
"Oh yeah?” I asked.
"Indeed. I'll change your luck. You'll see! You're going to Ponyville, and everypony will welcome you there, and be your friend!" Luna said.
"Perhaps. I don't know how that's gonna work, Luna." I said.
"Trust me, Flare Gun. I know what I'm doing." she said, smiling at me.
“Ok I don’t like being called by my full name that much, just to let you know.” I said.
“Sorry, it’s my duty as a princess to call pony’s by their full names. I’ll do my best to remember, but I cannot guarantee that all the time.” Luna admitted.
“No matter.” I shrugged. “Better calling me that then Crimson.”
“Come, Flare. Destiny awaits.” Luna said as she began to use her magic.
“Luna? Luna what are you doing?” I asked. By the looks of Luna’s magic, she was about to do something really big, and I was prepared for anything. Just then, Luna used her magic to just create a small paper map and gave it to me.
“There you go. I heard you were lost, so I gave you this map to help you get to Ponyville.” Luna said.
“Ok, but which way should I go? I don’t wanna take I-95, the roads are too curvy there.” I said as I observed the map.
“Yeah I don’t recommend that way either. I suggest taking the Turnpike over to Las Pegasus.” Luna instructed me.
“The Turnpike doesn’t go all the way there?” I asked.
“No, you’ll have to take Route 25 to get there the rest of the way.” Luna pointed out. “Also if it’s nearing 6 PM, I recommend waiting to avoid traffic because traffic is pretty hectic.”
“Can I just take I-75?” I asked.
“You could, but that’ll take a lot longer.” Luna said.
“But I-75 has less toll booths than the Turnpike. Turnpike has like… I dunno… seven toll booths from here to Las Pegasus.” I said.
“Do you have the E-Pass?” Luna asked.
“No all I have is Sun Pass, and that only works around Southern Equestria.” I said.
Luna sighs. “Alright, you know what? I was actually feeling pretty tired today, but since I’m really desperate to repay the favor, how about I just teleport you there?” she suggested.
“How loud would it be?” I asked. “I mean it’s the middle of the night right now. Aren’t ponies sleeping?”
“How about I teleport you to the edge of Everfree Forest and you can just walk the rest of the way?” Luna suggested.
“That includes my trailer too, right?” I asked.
“Yes, of course.” Luna said.
“And everything in it?” I asked.
“Yes.” Luna said.
“Are my fish going to be ok though? Because if not, I don’t want to risk it.” I asked.
“I guarantee you that they won’t die.” Luna said.
“That’s it?” I asked.
“Well teleportation does take a bit of motion sickness.” Luna said.
“Can you get me some free medication for them at least?” I asked.
“Here’s an all-cure.” Luna hooves me over a vial filled with the cure.
“This vial has a skull on it.” I said.
“Just don’t pour the whole thing in. Only a drop will do.” Luna said.
“I’m clumsy.” I said.
“I’ll help you when we get there.” Luna said.
“Alright.” I said.
“Do you have any more questions before we go?” Luna asked.
“No, that should cover it.” I said.
“Ok, let’s do this.” Luna said as she activates her epic magic again and a vortex appears over our head. Luna, me, and my trailer all get sucked into the vortex and we start riding through space faster than the speed of a pencil dropping from a desk, and eventually we all ended up right at Ponyville entrance to Everfree Forest.
“Woo! That was a fun ride, Luna! Is there anywhere I can find the snapshot of my face?" I asked.
"It wasn't a theme park ride, Flare Gun, it was a spell." Luna said.
"I know, but it wouldn't hurt to have a picture." I said and shrugged. "Oh well. Thanks for everything Luna!"
"Don't just thank me, thank Braeburn of Appleloosa. He notified me." she said.
"Oh... well then. I guess I do have some trusted friends after all! You can't imagine how happy I am now." I said happily.
"You'll do great, Flare! Ponyville will be your new home now. You will make lots of new friends, build your new business here, and you'll even..... spread your dolls!" Luna said.
"Yes! Wait, spread your dolls?" I asked.
"Don't you say that all the time? Spread your dolls?" she asked.
"Its spread the LULZ, not spread your dolls. I don't own dolls." I said.
"You sleep teddy bears every night." she said.
"They're not dolls, they're action figures!" I yelled.
Luna giggled. "Of course, how silly of me! So I'll go get the ponies in town ready for you, then head on in tomorrow morning!" And so, I was happy. After this, this leads to chapter 1 of Friendship is Epic in Book 1, which explains what happens next. Flashback ends.
"And that's the story of my entire life.” I said.
“Now that story was much bigger than the one I said when I moved into Ponyville.” Spike said.
"That was certainly something, Flare! Ah didn't know ya knew mah cousins before ya moved here." AppleJack said.
The CMCs laughed. "Ah liked the story; it made me laugh a couple of times!" Apple Bloom said.
"Your bullies looked like they were far worse than ours!" Scootaloo said.
"Who are your bullies?" I asked them.
"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon." Scootaloo said.
"Seriously? They seemed pretty nice to me." I said.
"Wow, that was a great story Flare! Maybe I should tell it as a bedtime story for my animals." Fluttershy suggested. "Well, if that's...."
"You don't even need to ask, Flutters. I didn't make the story copyrighted." I said.
"Oh good!" Fluttershy said.
I looked at my phone to see the time. "Whoa, is that time already? Well, closing time!" I said. "EVERYPONY OUT!"
"Aww." the CMCs whined.
"Hey, come back tomorrow, I'll tell ya the story of what happened when I moved to Ponyville! It’s a pretty big story. Probably 30 chapters long." I said. The CMCs all cheered and ran out of the shop. Later the night, I walked back home and went into my trailer and looked at all my pictures about my time in Ponyville. I saw some pictures of me with the Noble Six, partying with Pinkie Pie, playing games with Spike, me pranking Rarity by wrinkling all her dresses, and even a silly group picture with me and all my friends. Suddenly, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.
"Flare? You home?" Twilight asked on the other side.
"Ehh, no, no, Miser Flare no home." I said in Consuela's voice.
"Flare, I strongly respect your privacy by knocking, but I have the authority as your friend by coming in anyway!" Twilight knocks down my bedroom door with a giant Colum.
"Aw c'mon Twilight, you're the least I would expect that from!" I complained.
"Sorry, Flare!" she said and giggled. "But I thought it might amuse you."
"Well it did, but you have to pay for a new door." I said.
"It's a good thing I came prepared!" Twilight said using her magic to fix the door.
"How did you get in anyway? I didn't add you to my security system." I said.
"Spike helped me in." Twilight said.
"Hi!" Spike said, riding on Twilight's back.
"Sup bro?" I said. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Well, when you told your story to us earlier today, it really taught me a valuable lesson about friendship." she said.
"Oh it did, did it?" I said.
"Yes it did. I learned that even though a pony maybe annoying, or somewhat random, and you may think they could be a jerk, it doesn't really mean they are. You should get to know a pony before you judge them, maybe you thought wrong of them." Twilight said.
"Yeah try saying that to ponies back home, they know nothing about friendship. Just because you may not think a pony is cool, just give them a fair chance, I mean like seriously actually." I said.
"You're a good friend, Flare, and don't you forget it." Twilight said giving me a hug.
"That really means alot, Twilight, it really does." I said. "You know, maybe I should take you out to dinner, my treat!"
"That sounds wonderful, Flare! Thank you!" she said.
"No problemo, sista!" I said as the three of us all walked out of my trailer. Well… actually, two of us since Spike was- you know. As I walked out, I took one final look on the C logo on my trailer. I still don’t know where that came from, but I hope one day to find out.
As the three of us headed out, a random pony sticks one of his hooves on my trailer door before it closes and he steps inside. “Heh! I’m in! The boss is gonna be so pleased when he finds out- AAAAH!” but before the associate could say anything else, he was suddenly tazed by Merry May, and the associate collapses on the ground and passes out.
Merry May takes out her phone and dials a number. “Hello, Jerry? Yeah this is Merry May. How’s night club business going on with the popular Elusive? Ok, everything is cool here. Yeah… yeah I just caught another one of the mysterious doctor’s goons. Yeah, same story every time. Don’t worry, either the FDA or our friends in the Friendship Mafia will be able to get to the bottom on who this mysterious doctor is, but first, one of the capos of the Friendship Mafia is having fatherly issues, y’know what I’m saying? Well I have to arrest this goon before he wakes up. See you back in HQ, Jer!” Merry May then hangs up.
Well, now you know the backstory of my life in complete detail. I hope you found it inspiring enough, if not, well… I won’t blame ya. To completely understand is if you have had the same troubles I’ve been having, but don’t give up, my friends. You are perfect the way you are, and nobody will be stop you! Dare to be unique, dare to be friendly, dare to be stupid!