• Published 6th Jan 2016
  • 4,976 Views, 3,658 Comments

What If... - TheMajorTechie

A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions.

  • ...

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Potatoes Ruled the Earth?

Spudlestia sighed as she swallowed another mouthful of mashed potatoes. It was all there ever was to eat nowadays, considering the fact that she was now the puppet-leader controlled by the Potato Overlords.

The good thing is, at least said Potato Overlords had vanquished all evil... by turning them into potato...

Shortly after the great potato wars, Luna had gone missing, leaving open a hole that Spudlestia had vowed to patch for years.

Luckily, that wasn't the case. Now, many years after her sister's disappearance, Luna had been found. Earlier that day, Spudlestia had secretly frozen time in order to go out on a trek to find her sister. Now, here she was, hiding in Celesti--SPUDLESTIA's sock drawer.

Sometimes, Spudlestia would wish of her days back as good ol' Princess Celestia, before the swift invasion of the potato overlords. Seeing as how they were able to take over so quickly and easily, Celestia had no other choice but to play along, and hope to not be 'potatofied' by the fiends.

The Mane Six had fallen in the same fashion as well. They too had to change each of their names, mostly out of fear. (Though in the case of Potankie, she just thought it was a game.)

Spudlestia glanced back out the window, gazing at the hundreds upon thousands of ponies tending the massive potato farm once known as Equestria. The worst thing is, they weren't even allowed to mention potatoes as a food, as that counted as heresy against the potato overlords. Instead, each and every pony had exactly three square meters to grow food in order to sustain themselves and their family.

As for Tartarus... let's just say that Tirek now hates potato.

In fact, the only being known across the land to have escaped the wrath of the potatoes, is Discord himself. Mainly because he escaped into an alternate universe where potatoes didn't rule.

But still. POTATO.

Suddenly, one of Spudlestia's top managers, Mr. Potato Head from the planet Hazboroo, stepped into the room.

"How's my nation going, Tia?"

"Don't call me Tia..." Spudlestia murmured under her breath.


"And FYI, this isn't your nation," she snapped, spinning around to face Potato Head.

"Aww, c'mon, Tia, now isn't the time for jokes! We've got to have our daily potato census completed by... tonight!"


Potato Head backed off, his spaghetti-like arms held in front of him as if they were the one thing keeping him from death by enraged Princess.

"Chill, Spudlestia," he said coldy, slowly backing out the door.


By the time Spudlestia had finished, Potato Head was nowhere to be seen.

Luna peeked her head from Celestia's dresser drawer.

"Is the potato man gone?"

Spudlestia nodded, still glaring in the spot that Potato Head had been.

At least Luna's still here... she thought, remembering the time she stumbled across Luna during the few seconds she froze the universe to search for her sister.

Luna smiled gently, and disappeared back into the sea of socks.

Spudlestia finally dropped her glare, and walked towards her paper-cloaked desk.

She shuffled through the various documents and treaties, until she found the article she had been searching for.

A declaration of war.

Author's Note:

Spudlestia = Celestia :trollestia:

Potankie = Pinkie :pinkiecrazy:


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