• Published 6th Jan 2016
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What If... - TheMajorTechie



A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions. Eight years old and one thousand chapters long. Holy crap. BROKE THE 1000 CHAPTER LIMIT WITH A 1001ST CHAPTER!!!

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OOMPA LOOMPA ISEKAI STORY THING?!?!

Author's Note:

Watch out, it's bats!

I woke up orange one day.

Like, orange as in the color orange. Carrot-colored. Traffic-cone shaded. Y'know, the works.

Next thing I know, I'm watching screaming children meet their demise in a chocolate factory.

Uhhhhhhhhhh bananas.

Something.

Idk. I think I remember being hit by a truck or something; just the standard isekai stuff. Kinda hoped that it'd be something cooler. Maybe a knight in shining armor or something.

But... nope, whatever greater power exists out there thought that it'd be funnier to cram me into the body of an Oompa Loompa.

By request of one small, flying, winged mammal that shall from here on out remain unnamed THE GRAND HIVEMIND COLLECTIVE OF SMALL, FLYING, WINGED MAMMALS, I will now play to you the song of my people.

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I'm gonna slam my face on the wall
Oompa loompa doompety dee
I think I just swallowed my car keys

What happens when you lose your sanity
Writing horsewords because you need to eat
Do you think that a rat can sing this tune
I don't know but I've got meetings over Zoom
Blah blah seven syllable tune

Oompa loompa doompety da
I know that last phrase was eight syllables
You're reading this in a Loompa's voice
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

Doompety do

I took a bow as my brethren applauded me in my endeavor to create an original Oompa Loompa song to avoid the copyright ninjas.

Celestia crashed through the roof of the chocolate factory, insanity flickering in her eyes. My fellow Oompa Loompas and I knew that it was our time to defend our home.

"TO ARMS, BROTHERS! DEFEND THE FACTORY!"

"DEFEND THE FACTORY!" my fellow Oompa Loompas cried. Even as I stand, hardly five minutes old as an isekai-d man-turned-Oompa Loompa, I knew instinctively that this large, sweets-craving horse meant trouble.

Mister Wonka was nowhere to be found. He was likely keeping the children out of sight of Celestia. That meant that I, together with the rest of the Oompa Loompas, were the last--and only, line of defense.

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