• Published 6th Jan 2016
  • 4,200 Views, 2,658 Comments

What If... - TheMajorTechie

A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions.

  • ...

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Story pitch: Wolf Railguns, among other things & stuff

Author's Note:

Here's another one!

This one's more or less a gag joke, but I just wanted to get the idea out there. Unlike the previous pitches, I have to plans to write any story based on this. :twilightsmile:

Though I do plan on shoveling the idea at some point into that Displaced story that I pitched a couple days back...

On the side note, this story is just about as bipolar as the player character everyone collectively controls on my Discord server's RPG channel.

"...Twilight, what is that?"

Spike jerked back in surprise as Twilight whirled around, a maniacal grin spread across her face. A high-pitched sproink sounded out as her mane began to spring out at odd angles.

"Wolf railgun!" Twilight cheered, aiming the weapon at her assistant, "With this baby, we won't have to worry about any villains or monsters, ever again!"

Spike nudged the (surprisingly compact) railgun away from his face. "Twilight, how does it even work, first of all?"

Twilight squealed in delight at the question, clapping her hooves as she spun back around to her open window. A heavy clunk of machinery emanated from within the railgun as she pulled the first lever. Slowly, a dim light began to shine from within an enclosed, secured bag held just within visibility at the back end of the railgun. The bag bulged for a bit, and the smell of wet dog began to fill the room as a small lump traveled up into the main launch chamber.

With nothing more than a pop and a doppler-effect howl, a wolf shot out of the cannon, and into the distance.

It took a few seconds, but soon enough, Spike could spot a cloud of birds rise from the Everfree forest.

"Did... did the wolf even survive that?" Spike stuttered, "I'm pretty sure this is animal abuse."

"NONSENSE!" Twilight yelled, "These wolves aren't your average, garden-variety, everyday wolves, for I, Twilight Sparkle, have traveled to an entirely different realm of existance for the sole purpose of finding the perfect ammo for my railgun!"

"But why wolves?"

Twilight winked. "Not just any wolves, Spike. You'll see in a moment."

The ground began to tremble as a dark, howling cloud emerged from beneath the treetops of the Everfree.

"A-are those--"

"WOLVES!" Twilight screeched, nearly hitting her assistant with the railgun, "These wolves multiply exponentially, and on top of that, they fly!"

"But won't that destroy Equestria as we know it?"

"Who cares about Equestria?" Twilight shot back, "The universe that I pulled a single wolf from earlier was on the verge of collapse via the gravitational pull of the exponentially multiplying mass of wolves filling up the void!"

"...And just what universe was this?"

Twilight stared at the camera filming both herself and Spike.

"The author's most recent D&D campaign!"


The last image the camera recorded was of the wolf cloud bursting in through the window.

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