What If...

by TheMajorTechie

the pony only known as Yeag became the new hero of the story?

Author's Note:

Scyphi goes yeahg.

Yeag stood triumphant over the smoldering ruins of Goatquestria and its tyrant, Celestigoat. The destruction of Chef Boyardee's new MeatballLand theme park was one step too far, and with Astronaut Twilight unavailable for unexplained reasons, only one pony could step up to face the maniacal older kid sister of Luna.

Sweetie Giraffe's reality-obliterating lasers of doom fired down upon Yeag, who simply did the unthinkable and... wore armor made of old disco balls.

The resulting explosions caused by the scattered laserfire shook the ground around Yeag. Nevertheless, they stood firm.

"Celestigoat," their deep, sultry voice boomed. "Your days are numbered, and I have stolen your calendars."

Celestigoat ate her way out of the pile of rubble that was once Canterlot Castle. "Not my calendars! Those were delicious snacks to get me off to a strong and healthy start to my day!"

Celestigoat bleated in despair as she began to disintegrate. The sun rose from behind the dark, dank clouds and illuminated the dull landscape with vibrant colors once more.

...Red curtains fell down from above.

Red curtains?

"And just like the mighty former Empress Celestigoat, you too can get yourself on track to greatness with our brand-new 'days of the week' cereal!" Flim's jolly voice rose seemingly from all around. "Minus the Thanos-snapping, of course. The only dusting you'll get on our new cereal is cyanide powder so we can raid your home and steal your wallet the finest mix of cinnamon and almond dust!"

A hearty smack followed by a not-so-muted shhh came immediately after. Flam's voice replaced his brother's.

"Ahem. And right now, in three easy payments of $19.99 because we have far too many firstborn children and souls now, we'll double the deal and give you one box of 'Marked Days'-brand cereal!"

Yeag facehoofed and walked away. They had more work to do.

Comments

[Boltstrike58]

What if someone finally figured out how to take down Sweetie Giraffe?

[TheMajorTechie]

11778125
heresy

[The Spy of the Tiger]

What if Astronaut Twilight spent her time taped to the ceiling of magic kindergarten on a nice game of Counter-Strike?
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