• Published 6th Jan 2016
  • 4,231 Views, 2,689 Comments

What If... - TheMajorTechie



A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions.

  • ...
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Story pitch: HELP, I'VE DISPLACED MYSELF AND I CAN'T GET OOOOOUUUUUT!

Author's Note:

I'm for sure gonna turn this into a full-on story once I get some things out of the way. :trollestia:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--" I screamed, flailing every imagineable part of my body as I hurtled ever closer to the ground. I saw my life begin to flash before my eyes; my absolutely, completely-normal-and-in-no-way-tragic childhood, my stereotypical school life from pre-k all the way through high school, oh, and the part of my life marked by the fact that I just happened to like MLP.

Yeah, I think that last part is just about to cause me some good ol' trouble, based on recent events.

It all starts with "The Merchant".

Yup, I know how this goes. Typical displaced is displaced. I was at WhateverCon earlier this morning wearing not-so-subtle cosplay of... um... myself, and I decided to buy a jetpack from The Merchant. Don't ask why or how it's possible to buy a functional jetpack, but I did it.

Okay, I lied about the cosplaying part. I was wearing a Pokemon shirt and nothing else.

I mean I was wearing a Pokemon shirt and nothing else out of the ordinary. Get your mind outta the gutter, folks.

Anyways, I was minding my own business with a Pikachu shirt on while I was just strolling around looking at stands. I bought a few MLP keychains from this weird These Keychains Definitely Aren't Used In Some Kind Of Summoning Ritual stand, a bowling ball painted to look like a Master Ball, and a horsehead mask.

And that's where I ran across The Merchant. I didn't think about who he potentially was at first, I just saw his "Things & Stuff" sign on his scrappy little cart-stand thing. He had a nice shelf of whatever product it was that he was selling behind him, too... cloaks, foam daggers, a couple themed fedoras and a replica katana, among other things. What caught my eye however was the freakin' jetpack he had proudly on display in his bargain bin.

And so that's how I acquired a questionably-working jetpack for just thirteen dollars, and pretty soon from the looks of it, my life as well. I'm just hoping that accidentally not realizing that I bought something from The Merchant doesn't mean that whatever displacing power he holds over me no longer works...

...

Well, I think I've had a good run as far as life goes. Yeah, sure, I'm probably gonna be some random splotch on the ground pretty soon, or maybe by some miraculous event, I'll survive.

Well, the ground's starting to zoom in at high speed. All I know is that this time, I think this merchant dude decided that sending people to Equestria got boring. And mark my words, if I ever see him again in the next life, I'm gonna--


...Where did the ground go?

Why is my jetpack suddenly functional?

Why is my bowling ball suddenly an actual Master Ball?

Why the heck do I hear the crackle of electricity?!

HOLY CRAP IS THAT A SUMMONING CIRCLE MADE OUT OF MY KEYCHAINS THAT I SEE UNDERNEATH ME?!

I didn't have time to think about what the :yay: just happened as I half-slammed into a tree, the momentum of my jetpack ensuring that I'd bounce off the trunk and hit a second tree as I began to spiral down into a forest of some kind.

...

...

Ah, I see where this is going. I did get displaced, didn't I? Aw, heck, I probably left my garage open at home too. My dad always warned me to double check before I drove off...

Nevertheless, I think I hear rustling... Well, I guess it's narration time. I'm pretty sure I know how this goes, based on past readings of stories similar to my own on the good ol' interwebz.

And if this story ever ends up on the internet, mark my words, I'm gonna be the most self-aware guy to ever get displaced... maybe.

But then comes the real whopper of a question: how am I gonna get home?

I still need to know if I closed my garage door! I've seen what happens on the news to people who forget to close them! They get robbed and stuff sometimes!

Though honestly, I do live in a pretty nice neighborhood with a big ol' park nearby. But still, better safe than sorry, amirite?

Worse yet, what if more than just me got displaced? I've read stories like this before... they've always ended up as this weird D&D-style, ragtag group of goobers who just mess around for the rest of their lives.

At least, I think that's how it goes. Never actually was much of a fan of the genre myself as far as my top ten favorite genres go.

But ho-ly crap. I'm pretty sure I'm in the Everfree Forest right now, and there's a good chance that I'm just about to meet my doom in the form of...

A Pikachu?

The small pokemon stared at me from the underbrush, before letting out a cheerful "Pika!"

I wonder if my bowling ball works as an actual Master Ball now... it definitely looks like one already, so why not work like one too?

With both hands, I grunted as I heaved the giant Master Ball-looking bowling ball over my head. I'm gonna assume right now that based on my Pokemon shirt (more specifically, Pikachu shirt), I was probably displaced as a Pokemon trainer. Heck, even--

"Pikachu, return!" I felt myself unconsciously shout.

Well, I guess this is the part where I become trapped as the character from some other series in the world of MLP, isn't it? I guess as time passes, I'm gonna begin to lose more and more of my mind to that of whatever mindset of a Pokemon trainer has been instilled in me.

I felt myself tip over as the weight of the bowling ball began to tumble forward.

"ACK!" I shouted, slamming the bowling ball right into the spot where Pikachu was just moments prior.

I spat dirt from my mouth, wiping my face with my arm as I stared in horror at the small crater that was the ground in underneath the ball. For sure that Pikachu probably just had its final moments if I actually just--

"Pika pi!" Pikachu chirped quietly, escaping from the bowling-ball Master Ball and leaping onto my shoulder, "Pikachu!"

"Shh... do you hear that, Sweetie? I heard a shout over there!"

"Yeah! Scootaloo, what are you planning on doing?"

"You'll find out soon. Applebloom, got the net?"

"Yep!"

Oh boy. Time to meet some pones.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders, Human Catchers!"

Oh no.

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