What If...

by TheMajorTechie

applebloom used her garlic bread powers to make the best [REDACTED] grilled cheese the world has ever known?

Author's Note:

Perfectly Insane is perfectly insane.

"Oh my stars!" Celestia moaned into her grilled cheese sandwich. No, not the questionably horse man that hooked up with Pinkie. "This is the best ing thing I've had since sliced bread!"

Apple Bloom regurgitated another slice of garlic bread onto the portable grill that she'd conveniently found in the Royal Canterlot Armory, pressing a spatula against it after applying a generous amount of cheese on top. "'Nother grilled cheese, Princess?"

Celestia e n v e l o p e d the rest of the grilled cheese without chewing. Like, Apple Bloom was pretty sure there that the Princess of Equestria had just unhinged her jaw.

Whatever. More business for Sweet Apple Acres meant less stuff her sister had to do!

"Mmph. Yes, please!" Celestia wiped her muzzle with a Royal Guard. "Keep 'em coming! You got any of that coke too?"

Apple Bloom stiffened. She forgot completely about Celestia's... hobbies. "I-I'll let mah sister know you'd like another batch of fresh Zap Apple preserves."

"No no no, co. And seven [VERY REDACTED FOR A RATED E STORY]. Twelve pounds of [DEAR STARS ABOVE CELLY STOP IT], too. You already know my tastes in the seven [NUCLEAR EXPLOSION NOISES]."

"Done, done, and done," Apple Bloom finished writing the notes out on her flank. If she wasn't getting a cutie mark from this, she'd make one herself. Ignore the fact that she already got a mark. "We're out of coke, by the way, is Bepis okay?"

"Crystal Bepis or you're banished to the sun."

Apple Bloom felt a lump form in her throat.