• Published 6th Jan 2016
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What If... - TheMajorTechie



A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions.

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Super cross-fic mashup metaness? (AKA What if Techieverse happened?)

Author's Note:

Now comes a mashup of every story I've ever considered as my "flagship story" in some way or another, written not only to revolve around all of the characters meeting each other, but to go even as far as
(trying, and probably failing) copying the writing style from each individual story, including blaring grammatical mistakes!

*cough* How did I even miss quotation marks in that one story? *cough*

Order of stories as they appear in this chapter:

The Amazing Adventures of Butter Knife! (& Friends!) - currently my flagship comedy, taking the place of this fic.

The Lab Horse series - Flagship story/series up until around November of last year, making it the longest as well as longest-standing flagship story to date.

Wielder of the Orb: Of Magic and Ponies - My first-ever story on Fimfiction, and a derivative of 20+ pages of script-formatted cringe.

Spacebound Equestria - After killing off the above story, Spacebound Equestria took its place as a scifi/alternate universe-centered flagship story. It's sequel was eventually published, but never finished out of disinterest.

Equestria Forever - A mildly misanthropic story that was once labeled as "MLP propaganda" for claiming that the show was the only thing that allowed people to be friendly towards each other and avoiding total war. Yup. Killed that story rather quickly.

I Think I Summoned a Ponk. - My old comedy flagship before I killed off the story hoping to merge it into Equestria forever. Probably not a very good idea, considering how it led to the death of both stories.

Twilight Finds Herself in Generation 1. - The spiritual successor to the above story. It's literally what you think it is.

Pony-Me - My current flagship. I have hopes of eventually writing an original story based off of this one, and there's already been a bit of set-up work towards that as far as characters and plot points.

Last but not least, good ol' What If... - The story in which this chapter takes place. Prepare for some meta. :trollestia:

Butter Knife frowned. "I don't like this." She deadpanned, turning to her companions Ego Boost and LawnPo, the latter of which was currently busy eating the front lawn. "I don't like this one bit."

Ahem. Gadget?


Log number whatever:

It's kinda funny seeing how far I've come. It barely feels like a day ago when I was still just living life in my little corner of Delmar's lab, hoarding random things under the sofa to tinker with at night. Now though? I honestly have absolutely no idea what I'm looking at. It's like some sort of cosplay group... if said cosplay group involved an angry red and black alicorn, a weird lawnmower-pony hybrid, and a... regular ol' Earth Pony?

"O Hai!" The Earth Pony cheered, grabbing me by the sleeve of my vest, "What's your name? I'm Ego Boost. Nice to meet you! Oh my, that vest of yours truly compliments the fluff of your mane. Ever consider going to a fashion show?"

Um...

Alrighty. Go Sammy, Caleb, Brodie, and Zoey! Give 'em your best!


I don't know where I am, or really what we're doing here, but I guess this is just our next step in the quest to protect the Orb. But this... this presence that I feel...

Sammy turned to his friends.
Hey Caleb, thoughts?

Suddenly, Twilight appeared out of nowhere for no particular reason, Sammy's diary in hoof.

HEY!

Sammy lunged at Twilight, trying to take the diary from her hold.

Twilight shrugged.
I still think it's interesting how you have a crush on one of your companions, y'know.

I believe that's enough cringe to write for this chapter. Now, onwards to the Equestrian Pride!


~~~{Creepy alleyway full of random characters pulled from stories}~~~

It was dark. With Sombra at least temporarily purged from the ship's interior, it appeared that for a time, things would settle down.

Celestia turned towards her sister and shouted, "We're making a landing!"

The ship proceeded to touch down. Right on top of a certain red-and-black alicorn's favorite butter knife. The lawnmower pony didn't pay any mind to it, instead focusing on chewing away at the grass.

Too boring, onwards! ...Oh no. It's misanthrope squad.


Tyrone sighed, drawing the ragged blanket around his shoulders as he trudged down the street, aided by nobody but his comerades.

"Chris." The man growled, "Dangit, where is he? He nearly killed Twilight freakin' Sparkle."

Twilight's ears perked as she turned towards him, dropping the diary much to the joy of its owner. "I'm sorry," She began, "Who are you guys?"

PLOT HOLE! PLOT HOLE! MOVING ON!


"ANON! WAKEY WAKEY!" Pinkie screeched into my ear, "C'mon, sleepyhead, wake up! Before LawnPo gets ya!"

I groaned, feeling the soft grass beneath me... and hearing the impending doom that was the sound of a lawnmower.

"CRAP CRAP CRAP!" I shouted as I jumped out of the way.

Pinkie in turn squealed as she jumped into my backpack, opening a pocket universe as she did so to summon snickers bars. Because reasons.

Okay then. That happened.


"C'mon," I groaned, giving my ancient blob of an ancestor a noogie, "tell me that you at least know the history of your time."

"Stop it!" The grillgirl whined, "Stop it, you're hurting Twilight!"

I turned and blew a raspberry at Megan. "Says the one who's got a lovey-dovey thing going on for a certain TJ the horse."

"Ahem."

Slowly, I turned, sensing the shadow that was cast upon me.

"Hello, me."

Well that just took a turn. Twilight should really stop fudging with things.


A soft wind blew through the musty alleyway, the inane bickering of people and ponies alike filling the air. Lisa glanced to the side, catching a glimpse of the carnage that was the rest of the story, unfolding before her on the front lawn of an abandoned house.

"T-Twilight?"

"What is it, Spike?" The girl answered, turning towards her companion.

Timothy pointed a shaky finger towards LawnPo. "W-what in the world is that thing?"

Lisa shook her head and continued walking deeper into the alleyway, the voices behind her fading into the breeze.

I have to find my way... I can't return to Equestria until I can find myself again...


"Okay then." Twilight deadpanned, staring at the absurdity of a chapter that she'd just written. "I think I've had enough book-ing for today."

"Twilight, don't you mean writing?"

The mare rolled her eyes as she slammed the book shut. "Yeah, whatever, Spike. I need to give my brain a sanity break."

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