Oh, look at me... you've got me tearing up again. ◈ Forget about coffee buy me a cup noodle.
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You'd think that with a name such as "Butter Knife", a mare would be much better at being, say, an amazing chef for some highly-rated restaurant.
Nope. Butter Knife is just bad at stabbing people. She's also quite dull, considering her self-described "edge".
A parody of the "Edgy Alicorn OC" trope, and aiming for the maximum absurdity.
Downvote as much as needed. 
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I am a KAWAII potato
This is funny
Well now I'm going to google a cute Cthulhu
How did you make that cover art?
8804781
Pony-Creator.
Which one? F.I.R.S.T.? Vex? Good luck out there, and may your robot make an impression.
8824729
F.I.R.S.T.
8824729
I can't help but notice the similarities in our user names...
Hmm...
8824795
that was entirely unintentional.
8826578
I'm not concerned about the really edgy black-and-red Alicorn Gary Stu. The mocking of such a stupid trope is the reason why I came here.
What I'm really concerned about is the fact that Derpy's the only pony in town that managed to have a functioning underground nuclear bomb shelter!
8883541
But what if I told you that her bunker was also a pocket universe of muffins?
Just the descreption alone gets you a fav. Plus the fact that this isn't trying to be serious. Or if it is, it's failing miserably.
And I read the story before I said that.
It’s so bad it’s good, the mocking of Gary Stu alicorns is just... bwahahahahahaha.
8883541
I know right? It’s almost like Derpy is secretly a genius or something and is the only pony in the entire town who is fully aware of the actual dangers of living in Ponyville.
Wait, that actually makes perfect sense.
Glen Gorewood
8897495
Just wait 'till you read about her companions in the later chapters...
I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry.
Let’s try both at the same time.
This is quite funny.
Glen Gorewood
Thank you for reminding me of my many emo and goth phases with Ego Boost singing THAT song.
It reminds me why I switched to metal.
Glen Gorewood
I don't get the point of these, but holy fuck do I love it.
8804782
But of course
I love this story
This is just the absurdity I needed today
8918025
Have some more.
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/443108959130222602/444176441790431255/floorbread.png
Cute Cthulhu? Its gotta exist somewhere
I don't even know what's going on anymore
this is nothing more but a guilty pleasure
I surrendered my sanity long before this.
Is all good.
I just don't even know what to say about this one but I still like edgelord mc buttercutters anyway
inb4 butter knife meets sheogorath
I-It's over?
I thought it would never end.
8981819
I got bored.
8981826
I assumed as much.
8918036
I’d probably (near definitely) be willing to eat that bread off the floor. Especially if it’s just the picture printed out. Paper tastes good. (How’s that for absurdity?)
8918094
It does. The internet is a strange, often disturbing place, but it’s almost always safe to assume that whatever you’re looking for exists somewhere. Of course, the sheer volume of stuff makes it unlikely that you’ll find it.
I just ate part of the wrapper for a roll of mints, and smelled a carabiner for good measure. (Well, you did say “maximum absurdity”.)
I was kind of hoping that there’d be a third opportunity for me to behave strangely. If there was, I’d do the most unexpected thing of all; behave normally.
Also, I think I’ll miss Butter Knife. She kind of grew on me after a while.
Like a fungus grows on dead things.
I changed my mind.
Let me help you out. So far, I know it's about 3.141592653589793238. Hope that helped.