The Amazing Adventures of Butter Knife! (& Friends!)

by TheMajorTechie

SQUACK!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

He--

"WOULD YOU FRICKIN' STOP THAT?!"

Guess what, ButteryButt?

"What?"

You're a parrot now! Why? Because I decided that you should be the parrot this time, while Ego Boost here will be the pirate!

"What."

Yup.

"No, no. I mean, you seriously use that... that creep's actual name every time, yet you hardly ever use mine!"

Whatever, Sweethearts. Or would it be Saltyhearts? You seem quite salty at the moment, but it could be from a variety of reasons, one chiefly being the saline seawater, another being the fact that Ego Boost is waving crackers in your face, third would probably be--

"Shut up."

Now now, Edgelord-in-training, no need to be hasty. Not when you've got the fantastical view of the great ocean seasca-- oh. you turned into a Kraken. How adorable.

"I-it's not like I'm trying to be cute!"

Ha. Says you. Go play with Ego Boost for a bit and I'll narrate ya, alright?

"No. That mare is gonna stay on the complete opposite end of the ship from me. Ya hear?"

AnD jUST liKe tHAt, EgO BoOSt sudDENlY APpeaRES beFoRE ButTERknIFe!

"You spite me, Mister Narrator."

That's Sir Grandoise Majestical Eternally Greatful (and Humble) Mister Narrator, to you. Get it right.

"Ugh."

At this moment, Butter Knife failed to realize what was happening until after getting an entire box of crackers crammed into her Kraken mouth. Like, a shipping container kind of box. Because Kraken. And ships. And pirate lore. And the big blue ocean. And the--

"WOULF YOU SHTAHP ISH ALREADY?!" Stabby the Kraken growled, her mouth still filled with the bulk of an entire shipping container.

Come to think of it, how did Ego Boost manage to lift and stuff a shipping container's worth of crackers into a Kraken's mouth? Maybe I accidentally made her super-swole or something.

"SPINACH!"

Excuse me. What were you saying, Ego Boost?

"I'm Popeye because Popeye is strong!"

Okay, Ego Boost. You do that.

"Wh-what?!" The resident Kraken stammered, spitting the slimy shipping container out at speeds rivaling SpaceX rocket launches, "You're just going to let her do that?!"

Hey, she was nice about it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"