• Published 6th Jan 2016
  • 4,217 Views, 2,675 Comments

What If... - TheMajorTechie



A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions.

  • ...
33
 2,675
 4,217

PreviousChapters Next
Equestria was OP?

Author's Note:

A parody of those [insert pony here] is OP stories that seem to be featured occasionally. Never read them, but the thought of something being so overpowered against a foe is interesting.

Also, prepare yourself... a very trollfic-y chapter is straight ahead.

YOU. HAVE. BEEN. WARNED.

It was a fine day in the nation of Equestria. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the tank was clean... wait, ignore that last one.

Anyways, Equestria was having an excellent day. And then it turned out that Canterlot Mountain was actually a dormant volcano. Naturally, no-one seemed fazed by the resulting eruption until Twilight showed up, because she just happens to be the one who seems to fix everything.

As for the volcano? Maud bucked a rock into it, and that was that. Twilight didn't even have to lift a fing--er, hoof.

Suddenly, Tirek burst from the ground, the surrounding buildings bursting into flames as Tartarus rose into the realm of Equestria. Once again, nopony was hurt simply because ponies are very fireproof.

Spike quickly handled the situation with a slap to the face and a scolding, because he saved the Crystal Empire before, so why not Tirek as well? And besides, dragons are usually scary. By that logic, Spike is scary. And so Tirek got scared and ran away to the sun where Celestia fried his hide.

And once again, Twilight did absolutely nothing, because with the sheer power of her will, she was not only able to bring modern technology into existence, but make herself breakfast.

Then, changelings happened. For no reason they had reverted back to being mean and looking like horse-shaped flies, and decided to attack the Everfree Forest just because it made their actions seem mysterious.

Zecora blinked and suddenly threw a potion bottle at them. The bottle cracked open and made a huge nuclear explosion that drove off the changelings and did nothing else because it wasn't actually a nuclear explosion.

It was one of Trixie's flash bombs.

Since there was still the hole to Tartarus in the ground, Grogar the goat demon decided that it was a good idea to try and take on Equestria again. Boy, did he underestimate modern ponies. They didn't whimper and cry, they bit and tore... his fur off. Suddenly, he had nothing but the strange underwear covering his backside, and was chased off by some parasprites because parasprites are parasprites.

And yet even after the narrator used parasprites three times in a row separated by a single word each time, Twilight still paid little mind to anything other than her love novel that she wrote about Flash Sentry.

Though, in reality, Flash Sentry was currently fighting off diamond dogs in the dungeons of the fandom because the narrator decided that it'd be funny to watch Waifu Stealer suffer.

And still Twilight did nothing about it. She wasn't ignorant or anything, she was just... okay nevermind. She was ignorant at the time because she wasn't actually awake. She was currently absorbing the book's contents through her face as she slept because she gained unexplainable book-absorbing powers from a strange amulet that descended upon her that morning.


Flim and Flam weren't having a very good day. Ever since everypony became OP after the meteor shower last week, it became impossible for them to be able to lie anymore, because every time they did, they would get Applejack teleported to them to chew them out. Why? Because honesty happened.

On a side note, when the not-so nuclear bomb went off above the Everfree Forest, a lot of animals went crazy and mutated themselves into horrific beasts. After that, they jumped into the mirror portal to create an army to take over Equestria. Luckily, Fluttershy had laser vision so she zapped all of them back into cute bunnies and bears that had little jars of honey that they carried around.

But even though she had extremely precise targeting, she somehow missed the horde of bugbears flying towards Ponyville because the story needed some more continuuity.

Being the brave pegasus she was, Rainbow Dash swooped down, and did a sonic rainboom right through the center of the bugbear group, causing them to scatter like bowling pins because rainbooms are probably terrifying in real life if one happened next to you.


Rarity stared in dismay at the sight of a sleeping Sombra inside her boutique. Who would want a tyrant king who enslaves his subjects sleeping on your best pillows anyways? And besides, the guy was drooling on it. And by "it", I mean the pillows.

"THIS IS A TRAVESTY!" Rarity exclaimed in horror, lighting her horn. In an instant, Sombra awoke to a horrible headache, before exploding again out of the window and into the conveniently placed pit of eternal doom.

And the mare did all that without even breaking a sweat. Probably because she wasn't the type who liked to sweat.

And then there's Pinkie. She was currently fighting alongside a chicken and a dog against Darth Vader in the limousine that was actually a transformer. Then she realized that she wasn't in the right universe so she shot herself out of her master sword's "Pipe of 1-ups" and out of the world of Kirby's armpit.

Luna was also busy at the time. She was battling against her Nightmare Moon self "Super Smash Bros" style, and just happened to receive a smash ball. Let's just say that that was the end of Nightmare Moon forever.

All the while, Twilight continued to bide her time sleeping in her book, before she suddenly jolted up. All around her the universe had begun to tear itself apart from it's own chaos, and she was the only one who could put it back together because she was "The One".

And so she fixed it while eating lunch and watching the world burn before her very eyes. Though, the world wasn't actually burning, y'know? She was just watching the battles taking place outside in her front yard because everypony wanted to date her.


Secondary Author's Note:

Me: Welp. That's a job well done.

Me to me: No. It was horrible. *shudders*

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!