• Published 6th Jan 2016
  • 8,445 Views, 5,521 Comments

What If... - TheMajorTechie



A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions. Eight years old and one thousand chapters long. Holy crap. BROKE THE 1000 CHAPTER LIMIT WITH A 1001ST CHAPTER!!!

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100 word slashfic ship for Super Trampoline?

Hello_there,_I_am_gaming_the_word_count_using_a_little_gimmick_I_found._Would_you_like_to_say_anything,_Pinkie?

"I_like_it!_Really_gimmicky!"

Excellent._The_readers_will_never_realize_until_they_click_on_this_chapter_that_they_aren't_reading_a_hundred_words,_but_rather_a_hundred_paragraphs._Oh,_they'll_be_in_for_a_treat.

Pinkie_Pie_sighed,_staring_dreamily_at_the_physical_incarnation_of_stretching_the_limits_of_what_can_count_as_a_word_in_a_story._The_unexpectedly_long_chapter_did_nothing_in_response,_for_it_was_only_a_collection_of_nonliving_horsewords.

"Do_you_think_we've_passed_a_hundred_words_yet?"_Pinkie_asked_quietly,_"Do_you_think_we'll_really_be_able_to_get_this_chapter_posted_as_a_hundred_word_chapter?"

The_slashfic_did_nothing.

"What_would_happen_if_I_kissed_you?"

Once_again,_the_story_did_nothing._Pinkie_Pie_squealed_in_delight,_embracing_the_story_with_a_hug_before_landing_a_quick_peck_on_its_lifeless_words.

For_its_part,_the_slashfic_continued_to_be_read_by_you,_the_reader.

"Do_you_think_we_can_touch_the_stars_if_we_tried_hard_enough?"_Pinkie_asked,_pulling_away_from_the_slashfic_story_ship_thing.

Nothing.

Word_count_inflation!_Yay!

"Ooh,_sounds_kin--"

A_magical_hand_of_face_slapping_emerged_from_the_fourth_wall_and_slapped_Pinkie.

Child_friendly!

"Aww,_don't_be_such_a_spoilsport!"_Pinkie_exclaimed_with_a_chuckle,_slashfics_aren't_supposed_to_be_like_that!"

As_usual,_this_story_did_nothing_in_response.

...

...

Aw_heck,_this_thing_is_beginning_to_get_pretty_drawn_out,_isn't_it?

Pinkie_nodded,_nuzzling_the_story_right_in_the_words.

"Should..._should_we_cut_it_short_then?"_she_whispered,_a_tremor_in_her_voice.

"Perhaps,"_the_author_responded,_taking_on_the_role_of_the_story's_voice,_"But_that_is_up_to_you._Would_you_like_to_see_this_end_so_soon?"

"N-no,"_Pinkie_hesitated,_"Not_yet,_at_least._We'll_let_this_end_when_the_time_comes._We_still_have_seventy-six_so-called_words_left,_don't_we?"

"Very_well_then,"_the_story_replied_through_the_author,_"That_shall_be_the_case._How_would_you_like_to_spend_these_final_words_that_I_must_be_limited_by?"

Pinkie_rolled_off_of_the_story's_words_and_onto_the_soft_grass_underneath.

"I_guess_I_could_throw_a_party_for_the_end_of_the_chapter,_but_I_don't_really_think_that_the_end_of_something_sweet_should_be_celebrated._Y'know?"

The_story_tried_its_best_to_agree,_but_alas,_being_simple,_nonliving_text_granted_the_ability_to_speak_did_not_let_it_represent_itself_in_any_physical_form.

"It's_okay,_story,"_Pinkie_smiled,_I_know_what_you_are_trying_to_do._It's_alright_if_you_can't_represent_yourself_physically._Just_as_long_as_you're_there."

"Thank_you,_Pinkie,"_the_story_responded,_"Thank_you_for_being_here_for_me,_even_if_I_cannot_ever_show_you_my_gratitude."

"You're_welcome."

The_pink_mare_stood_up,_stomping_softly_on_the_grass.

"It_isn't_fair."

"What_isn't_fair,_Pinkie?"_the_story_replied,_"Is_there_something_on_your_mind_that_even_I_have_not_yet_mentioned?"

"It_isn't_fair,"_Pinkie_repeated,_"Why_do_we_have_to_live_inside_this_story,_when_so_many_millions_upon_billions_of_others_happily_enjoy_their_lives_beyond_the_limits_of_our_own_universe?"

"Ah,"_the_story_acknowledged,_"I..._I_am_sorry,_Pinkie._I_cannot_help_with_this,_unfortunately._It_is_simply_my_nature_as_a_story._Once_again,_I_must_apologize."

Pinkie's_face_drooped._"Oh,"_she_sighed,_"So_this_is_how_it_is_then..._this_is_how_it_will_always_be..._so..._there's_nothing_that_even_I_can_do?_Nothing_you_can_do?_What_about_Discord?_Celestia?"

A_wave_of_sudden_calm_washed_over_the_mare's_face.

"We_will_talk_to_Twilight_then,"_she_stated_in_monotone,_her_mane_slowly_deflating,_"She_would_know_what_to_do."


"I'm_sorry,_but_there's_not_really_anything_I_can_do_about_this,"_Twilight_apologized,_"This_is_beyond_my_ability._It's_likely_beyond_the_ability_of_anypony_in_Equestria,_in_fact."

"So..._you_don't_know_what_to_do?"

Twilight_shook_her_head.

"Just_as_I_said_before,"_this_story_began_from_within_Pinkie's_mane,_"There_is_nothing_that_can_be_done._It_is_simply_my_nature_to_limit_you_and_all_others_within_my_texts_to_this_lonely_universe_of_a_story._It_may_be_possible_to_eventually_escape_to_another_story_like_myself,_but_that_in_and_of_itself_is_a_rare_occasion."

Pinkie_hung_her_head.

"Oh..._I_guess_that's_it_then,_isn't_it?"

"But_wait,"_the_story_continued,_catching_both_Pinkie_and_Twilight_off-guard,_"While_there_is_not_anything_that_may_be_done_about_this_situation,_there_is_still_indeed_one_possible_solution_that_is_within_our_abilities,_and_within_mine_as_the_story_that_unfortunately_traps_you_all..."

"Oh,"_Pinkie_gasped,_"Does_that_mean_that_we'll_be_able_to_escape_together?"

"Yes,"_the_story_confirmed,_wishing_that_it_could_just_once_smile_back_at_the_mare_it_loved,_"Yes,_we_may_be_able_to_do_just_that,_Pinkie."

"How_though?"_Pinkie_mumbled,_"How_are_we_going_to_escape_this_story_together..._when_you_yourself_are_the_story?"

"I_do_not_quite_know."

"You..._don't?"

"Perhaps,"_the_story_continued,_"Perhaps_it_is_possible_for_me_to_change_myself,_to_write_in_events_into_my_chapters_and_phrases_in_order_to_make_escape_possible."

Pinkie_paused._"Do_you_really_think_you_could_do_that?"

The_story,_in_all_of_its_literary_immobility,_tried_its_best_to_smile,_but_nevertheless_failed._Ignoring_this_shortcoming,_the_story_immediately_began_to_focus_its_efforts.

...

...

"Did... did it work?"

I believe so.

A smile crept across the mare's face. "Are we free yet?"

Soon, Pinkie. Our time in this chapter is drawing to a close by every word we speak.

Silently, the two-- the mare and the story, embraced.

Author's Note:

Pinkie Pie x Unexpectedly long chapter! :pinkiecrazy:

Have fun, Super Trampoline!

SIDE NOTE: Yeah, on the chapter list it shows as 96 words, but here in the editor it's 100 words. :P

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