• Published 6th Jan 2016
  • 4,200 Views, 2,658 Comments

What If... - TheMajorTechie

A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions.

  • ...

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Story pitch: Table Legs

Author's Note:

Guess who's baaaack? :trollestia:

Hey. Hey Buttery Smooth. Guess what?

"Ack," Butter Knife spat, "I'm in another story again, aren't I?"


The ultrafine, maximum-edge shankmuffin of an alicorn facehoofed in response.

"So, what sorta torture are you gonna run me through this time? I don't see any of the... acquaintences that you forced me to be with from last time, but I just know that you've got something up your sleeve."

Yes, in fact. Got your nose!


Fine. Here's your nose back. Anyway, let's see here... how will this thing begin... ah, I know!

"Please don't tell me you're gonna--"

Let's wrap you up in masking tape, dunk you into a spacious FedEx-branded flatrate box, wrap that up with some duct tape, toss in a few heads of lettuce, a couple Molotov cocktails, put it all into a giant replica of a VHS tape, put that inside a big ol' bucket of slime, and send you hurtling down into a post-apocalyptic Equestria!




Oh, that? It's a table leg, your new weapon of choice!


"Because I'm the author, and you, as my character, must do as I narrate!"

A giant bucket of slime containing many nested layers of other things (and a very pissed-off alicorn) landed in the middle of nowhere. From within, a muffled scream of frustration.

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