• Published 6th Jan 2016
  • 4,227 Views, 2,680 Comments

What If... - TheMajorTechie



A buncha stories based off of random "What if?" questions.

  • ...
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tonkman was bored and wanted to write something without caring about any kind of consistency across chapters? (Randomness happened 14)

Author's Note:

Writing stories can get annoying sometimes.

Hey, y'all ever have those times where you wanna write a thing but at the same time you don't feel like writing and instead you just want to waste your day away playing angry birds but then you found yourself writing anyway because that's how you roll?

Yeah, me too. I wanted to write a new chapter for one of the stories I've got sittin' around collecting dust but I decided to write this instead because I couldn't bother to start writing the chapter for that story because I've spent so long not writing it now that I'm concerned that it might not even be the same story anymore if I keep writing it but then again this story has survived quite a few hiatuses itself and it's still kickin' so idk.

...

...

ANYWAY...

Twilight Sparkle yeeted Spike across Equestria. Celestia sipped her tea and watched the game of tennis but with large stones unfold beneath her. There were many casualties, but nopony cared because it was the order of Celestia.

Celestia sipped her tea again, which was now suddenly Luna's coffee for some reason. It took roughly .0037 seconds for Luna to tackle her sister, C̸̷̖͉͔͚̼̘̗͎̗̹̮̖̠͎̤͛͒̽̇̕͟ͅỌ̵̻̩̦͕̫̱̗͔̝̮̥͐̀ͭ̿̇ͦͣ͐̚N̴̡̘͇͖̲͍̼̣̫̙͚̤̲̮̖͉͇͑̍̍̓ͯ̊́͛̄̿̾̚͟S̎ͥ̈҉̰̮̱̭̫͎͎͎̟̳́ͅͅȖ̸̸̵͓͕̫̟͖̤͓̝̳͖̗̩̝̺͎̩̇̈̓ͬ̂̎́͛̈́ͫ̃̔̚͞M̆̑ͧͥ҉̷͇̬͍̼̠̠́E̸̟̖̞̺̟͈͎͍͓͖ͧ͐̌̊̓̇̐͋̈̕͢͝ the coffee, and take over Equestria again.

Another rock smacked into somepony's face. Everypony laughed.

"Bamboo!" Spike shouted, ricocheting off one of Canterlot Castle's towers, "Jellybeans!"

Discord lifted his sunglasses, sniffing the air. He belched and disappeared again because he wasn't having any of this right now. He'd save a slice of that pie for later.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of Celestia's mane, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were chugging water bottles because the cider ran dry. Is it possible to get drunk on water? Whatever the case, the two were about to find out.

Guess what? It isn't.

But dangit, they were the two most hydrated ponies of the land.

"So I guess I'm rubber now," Spike mumbled, bouncing off Derpy's mailbox and unintentionally setting off the mailmare's scammer trap that traps scammers in a trapped trap that traps them. Luckily for Spike, he was not trapped.

Not so luckily for the particle of dust that was trapped, it was trapped.

Derpy nibbled on a muffin while Celestia inhaled her teacup.

"I crave CRYstals because I weep," Sombra but both more and less edgy at the same time moaned, "My dog left me for another stallion."

"You never even had a dog, Sombra!"

"That is the point."

The music that was playing the entire time in the background of this chapter does not fit anything whatsoever in this chapter.

Now you are imagining Sweetie Giraffe as she uses her eye lasers to smite those who are shorter than her. Congrats.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

"ARE YOU FEELIN' IT, MISTER KRABS?!"

"LUNA, WHY ARE WE YELLING?"

"VIDYA GAEMS!"

the world imploded and then exploded again because what the heck is even going on anymore

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