Every week or so, Rarity gathers all of her friends for a little get-together at her boutique. Or at a cafe. Or in Sugarcube Corner. Anywhere that serves tea or tea can be brought in.

And every time, as soon as their conversation steers towards that most intimate of topics, Rainbow Dash falls silent.

Colgate's bored of her life. Sure, owning a dental practice is fulfilling, but it lacks that certain... je ne sais quoi. But when a mysterious stallion appears offering her a new life in exchange for unwavering loyalty to the Crown, she is plunged into a shadowy world of intrigue and lies, stretching from the searing deserts of Saddle Arabia to the frozen wastes of the Crystal Empire.

Massive thanks to archonix for the new cover art! It looks great!

The title says it all. Must I really need to explain more? I guess I do because it says I have to.

Basically I took the most unbelievably corny and cheesy ideas that I have actually seen in My Little Pony shipping fics and placed them all into a one-shot romance.

Please, do not take this seriously.

After a visit from Cadance and Shining Armor, Twilight realizes how little she understands romantic love and decides to do -what else?- some research. But she has to learn a lot quicker than she expected, for Princess Celestia has invited Twilight and her friends to a Hearts and Hooves Gala- and they're expected to bring dates!

What follows is a chaotic set of events in which hearts are broken, crushes are acted upon, cakes explode, and the very foundation of the Mane 6 is rocked to its core.

My first fic, so don't expect any spectacular writing. I've got a vague idea of the relationships, but things may change, as I'm trying to let things be organic. Assume nothing.

Princess Celestia will at last get a taste of Twilight Sparkle. No, not in that way! The whole Elemental Harmony Squad is involved... no, still not in that way!

Popsicles will be prominently involved... and again, not in a naughty way. The only naughty pony here is Luna.

Twilight Sparkle is fed up of her unrequited love for Rainbow Dash. She has decided that the time has come to reveal the passion she has kept hidden for so long - but how? There is only one sane, logical way to do this.

She must become a cloud.

Nothing can go wrong.

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship.

And she's not happy about it.

Hear what Celestia has to say back! Check out the spinoff:
Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student by keaton-furman-prower

Still want more? Have a multiverse spinoff by MixMassBasher, my contributing writer for Seasons 5-9.
Letters From Across the Disgruntled Multiverse

Editing by Neko Majin C.

Disclaimer:
The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

Derpy explains her medical condition to her daughter.