This publication have given me very mixed feelings.

Most of all because what it means to me as a person and how the events described has molded me into who I am today.

In my short life you could say that I have been through a lot of things, most of which happened within the last six years.

I have lost two of my old classmates to cancer.

I recently learned that one of my best friends also have cancer, I don’t really know how it affected me when I learned it. But I guess we’ll just make the best of the time we have left if he does not recover.

I Have also lost two uncles, one which was very close to me, he had a heart attack at the age of 50, the day before his son had birthday.

When my grandmother died one year ago, I was only left with some wise words and the job of consoling my father after the death of his mother.

One of the things she said, and which has been with me since that time was: If someone takes the time to share their story with you, make sure you listen. Because no story can you learn more from than those told from the heart. And when a person tells them their story, they open up and shows you exactly why they hurt, and why they are like they are. Never pass that chance, the comfort that can be given by someone that is willing to listen to your story is not something that can be put a price on.

And I try to do these things, I always ask how people are, how they are feeling.

And in the end, I have decided to share my story to you, and I hope you all will take time to listen to it.

But none of these things hit as hard as my mother’s attempted suicide two years ago. I don’t really know why she did it, but I know the cause. A severe case of bipolar.

I have told you the events through the tales of Ditzy and Dinky.

In A Love Like no Other, I wrote about the stories I had heard from my mothers youth in an attempt to understand how she became so ill, because many things can be linked to how their childhood were.

I Wish You Could, I put myself in as Dinky, most to show how little I understood of what was happening during that day. I honestly felt like a little child again, not being able to grasp the seriousness of what was happening around me. For the life of me I could not understand why my mother would do such a thing and mostly tried going on with my life and support my brother who recently had been diagnosed with exhaustion syndrome.

I Wish I Was, Here I tried putting words to how I saw my mother through my life as growing up. I always saw how she struggled through life, giving little to herself and giving it all to me and my brothers. My mother had always been marked as dumb because of her ADHD and the fact that she’s blind to words. In the old days childs were punished because of those diagnoses. And I think that has a lot to do with what happened.

The deaths of my other friends and family members did of course affect me, but I moved on, it’s a part of life. But the fact that my mother tried this, without seemingly giving a second thought to my and my brothers stings, when I think about it, it hurts even after two years. It might also be for the reason that for one day, I had no mother, I didn’t know if she would make it out of the hospital alive.

Writing this story was an attempt for me to get some form of closure. I can’t really say that it worked or not, time will tell I assume.

One thing it did do at least, was helping me to put words to my feelings and how it has been for me the last two years.

And one of them is that deep down I blame myself for it, I honestly don’t have a reason to do so, but I can’t help thinking: What if I was there all the time? What if I was there when it boiled over for her? Would that have made a difference?

And as the title says, this was the reason I became a Brony, I needed something cheerful in my life during this. That and of course it is an enjoyable show and has a great community. And the reason I picked up writing again was so I had a tool to express my feelings in a better way, but I have always enjoyed it, and I will not stop again.

So worry not my readers, more stories will come from me.

Now, let’s show you all the way to the story you are following me for: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/102810/the-mask-we-put-on