Colgate and Lyra get more than they baragined for when Colgate decides to accept a new job offer.
Colgate's bored of her life. Sure, owning a dental practice is fulfilling, but it lacks that certain... je ne sais quoi. But when a mysterious stallion appears offering her a new life in exchange for unwavering loyalty to the Crown, she is plunged into a shadowy world of intrigue and lies, stretching from the searing deserts of Saddle Arabia to the frozen wastes of the Crystal Empire.
Massive thanks to archonix for the new cover art! It looks great!
As the cool Equestrian sun rose over the sleepy village of Ponyville, one particular mare was making ready to begin her day. And by 'making ready', I mean this irate mare was determinedly slamming her head against her headboard.
"Ugh, I wanna go back to sleep!" moaned Colgate, slumping back down onto her comfortable bed with a dejected look on her face. Today would not be fun. She had hardly slept last night; Pinkie had thrown another party. Colgate didn’t even know why and frankly, she didn’t care. Rising reluctantly from her mound of pillows and blankets, the petite dentist stretched and yawned loudly before trotting downstairs.
The kitchen was warm and bright, sweeping windows flooding the room in watery sunlight. Colgate couldn't care less about the good weather, instead shuffling over to the kettle and using her magic to prepare her bowl of cereal. A box of Celesti-os floated over to her, steadily filling her bowl with oat-y goodness. 'Four types of wholegrain? Now this I can enjoy!' Colgate smiled, rubbing her forehooves together. Today wasn't looking too bad after all!
A sharp rap on the front door startled her, causing the dentist to drop the box on the floor. Celesti-os flew everywhere, covering the floor in crunchy cereal. "Coming!" the mare shouted irately, levitating most of the spilt cereal into the bin. There was no way she'd eat it after it had touched the floor, even if the surface was as clean as the counter she prepared her food on. Colgate rushed to the front door, worried that she had done something wrong.
Why would somepony come this early? What if one of my patients complained to the mayor? What if my practice is being shut down?' Colgate frantically opened the door with her telekinesis. Before her stood a very surprised, wall-eyed pegasus, clutching several letters in her mouth.
"Mrnin' Colgte," she mumbled as Colgate took the slightly damp letters with relief. "Did I do something wrong again? Normally ponies don't wrench open their doors with that much force!"
"No Derp-er... uh, Ditzy! You didn't do anything wrong! I just spilt cereal all over my kitchen floor.” Colgate smiled, relieved it was only the mailmare that had startled her. However, one of the letters floating beside her caught her eye. “Well, you'd probably get back to your rounds then, I've got to get ready for work. See you around!" Colgate laughed hastily, closing the door in the mailmare's face.
"Lyra," the dentist hissed, "you've gone too far this time." Before her lay a copy of ‘Wings ‘n Things;’ the front page giving her an eyeful of plot. The pegasus on the cover grinned cheekily over her shoulder, almost daring Colgate to turn the page. Instead Colgate launched the dirty magazine across the room, blushing. A small note fell out of it, floating lazily to the floor. Colgate levitated the note over.
Colgate,
Lighten up and relax a bit! This magazine should help you, if you know what I mean... Anyway, Bonny sends her regards! We'll have to have you over for dinner sometime! It's really not healthy for you to spend every night by yourself! I'm going to find you a colt (or mare!) one day, I swear!
You-know-who!
The dentist just sighed and slammed the note down onto the counter.
* * *
Colgate looked over her diary and sighed. So far, most of the days patients had been overflow from the previous day, thanks to one of Pinkie's parties at Sugarcube Corner. She really needed to talk to that mare about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption. However, it probably explained the mare's hyperactive behaviour, though whenever anypony tried to explain Pinkie, they failed with spectacular results. She was Pinkie, enough said.
"What's wrong Colgate? You look like you're going to break something. Something expensive..." murmured the elderly mare opposite her, slowly completing a stack of paperwork.
"Pinkie, that's what's wrong. It's like, after every one of her parties, we get an influx of patients here complaining of toothache. If I didn't know better, I'd say Pinkie is putting a metric ton of sugar in each cookie." Nurse Bubbles nodded wearily, pushing her glasses back up her face.
"She seems to have learnt her lesson after the Gummy incident though," Colgate smiled.
Both mares laughed happily. Pinkie Pie's pet alligator, Gummy, had been the first victi- volunteer to try her infamous fruit punch. The distraught mare had been unable to reach Fluttershy before Gummy's teeth had fallen out. Every. Last. One.
"Well, at least it's keeping us in business!" Colgate said enthusiastically, setting out her instruments of mass reconstruction before her. The sterile tools laid on a tray neatly, testament to Nurse Bubble's pin-sharp organisational skills. If anypony was to make sure the instruments were correct, it'd be her.
"Nurse, who can we be expecting to walk into the practice next?" Colgate asked coyly, pretending to have an air of professionalism.
"Who are you? What have you done with the real Colgate? Y'know, the brash, uptight dentist with no social life?" chortled the elderly mare in reply, causing Colgate to stop mid-stride. Colgate didn’t speak, instead turning to her assistant with a mischievous look in her eye.
“Nurse, I think you might have dropped something on the floor,” she stated matter-of-factly, pointing one hoof at the marble floor underhoof. As Bubbles leant over to search for the item she had mentioned, Colgate used her magic to fire her small dental water jet at her assistant.
Nurse Bubbles scrambled backwards in horror, trying to avoid the fine spray of water. “Brash, am I? Uptight, am I? How sure of that are you, nurse?” Colgate shouted happily, chasing the mare around the room with the small hose. The tiles soon became slick with water, causing Colgate to slip and slide precariously. The dentist lost her grip and crashed into a heavy cabinet with a surprised shriek.
“Uh, Colgate? Maybe we should cut this out before the patient gets here. Having a half-flooded practice isn’t the best way to maintain a good reputation.”
“Buck you and your logic...”
“Now now Colgate, remember who's the more experienced member of staff here! Anyway, it's really not good for a patient to enter a messy practice. Imagine if they tripped and fell!"
“Hmm, I’ll let you off this time. Seriously though Bubbles, am I really that boring? I try to do stuff, but not many people choose to hang out with a dentist. I still see Lyra occasionally though! Isn’t that enough?” Colgate asked curiously, examining the soggy mare with interest.
Nurse Bubbles shook herself, spraying another layer of water across the room. She levitated a small handtowel over, trying to mop up the worst of the puddles. “You really reckon seeing your friend once a week is considered a social life? Even Cheerilee has more of a life than you! Colgate, you really need to get out and do some stuff. This reminds me of when I was a young mare like you... well, we used to go clubbing in Canterlot, for example!”
Colgate’s eyebrows nearly shot off her face in surprise. “Me, clubbing? Hah, I’d like to see that happen! So, who are we actually dealing with next? You never answered me!” she asked curiously, causing Nurse Bubbles to blush. Colgate remembered the next case would be a tooth removal, but she forgot who the unlucky patient would be.
"Spike,” Nurse Bubbles stated, registering Colgate’s blank expression. “Y'know, Twilight's pet dragon?" Bubbles continued, preparing the table.
“Oh, ok. I guess I must have forgotten at some point. Still, a dragon is pretty simple to deal with, right?”
Nurse Bubbles deadpanned at Colgate. ‘No Colgate, we promised we wouldn't think of that... catastrophe... again,’ Colgate thought uneasily. The only parts her memory hadn't violently repressed involved a stepladder, an industrial jackhammer, and a long search for a new assistant.
"Yeah, I remember that. Well, at least you got a new dental practice out of it! And a commendation of bravery from the Princess!" It was true, the dragon had completely wrecked the dentist's previous clinic, so they had received this nice, shiny facility courtesy of the Royal Court. Having a nationalised health service was one upside to living in Equestria!
"Twilight Sparkle and Spike here to see you!" shouted the receptionist from down the corridor. Bubbles organised the last few instruments, making sure everything was in its rightful place before welcoming the duo inside.
"Hi Twilight! Still brushing three times a day?" enquired Colgate, shaking the mare's hoof.
"Erm, yeah!" said the lavender pony sheepishly. 'Yeah, right.'
"So, what happened to Spike?"
"Rainbow Dash and Pinkie decided it’d be hilarious to replace one of Spike’s sapphires with a magically reinforced one. One of Rarity’s, I think." The baby dragon rubbed his sore, aching mouth, reaching around the ice pack that was affixed to his face. Both Colgate and Nurse Bubbles had been on the receiving end of either Pinkie's or Dash's pranks and knew full well the lengths they would go to for a laugh.
“Colgate, remember that time Pinkie replaced your toothpaste with that black staining paste?” giggled Nurse Bubbles, even more amused by Colgate’s scowl.
“Yes, it was hilarious. A dentist with black teeth. I’m sure it took her ages to think of that one. Anyway, let’s get back to business, shall we?” Spike climbed onto the table and Colgate levitated a mirror into his mouth.
"Aha! There's the fang, although I can't see why it's shaki-" Colgate murmured, before leaping backwards. Just in the nick of time. Spike belched loudly, sending emerald flames shooting across the room. The green fire singed the end of Colgate's muzzle, causing her to glare in disapproval. This was cut short due to the scroll that flew out, smacking Colgate on her much-abused nose.
"I am so sorry Dr. Colgate, Princess Celestia normally sends these at night! It's not like her to break a schedule," Twilight exclaimed. Twilight gasped as she read through the scroll. "Spike, you stay there! The Princess needs to talk with me right away!" Twilight gasped, looking around the room.
“Erm, Twilight, are you feeling ok?” Colgate enquired, looking nervously at the frantic mare.
“This is nothing. You should have seen that time Celestia told her t-”
“Spike! I thought we said we’d never discuss that again!” Twilight scolded, rushing around the clinic. “There must be some here somewhere...” she muttered, rifling through Colgate’s supply cupboard.
“Uh, Twilight?” Colgate asked, bewildered. The lavender mare didn’t reply, but continued to search the cupboards. After a few seconds of frantic searching, the librarian levitated a stack of toothpaste tubes out of the cupboard.
“Colgate, do you mind if I borrow these? I’ll pay you back as soon as I get home, ok?”
“Sure, I guess?”
And with that, the mare disappeared with a flash of violet light. The two dentists just stood there, mouth agape.
“Well, that was unusual,” Nurse Bubbles stammered, clearly shaken by the erratic Twilight.
“Hmm, I’m sure she’ll have some kind of reason for this. Well, I hope she will. That’s our entire month’s worth of toothpaste,” Colgate sighed, before turning back to their patient.
“So, are the rest of my teeth fine then?” Spike enquired curiously. It seemed that the unusual event hadn’t affected the young dragon, so Colgate decided she’d have some fun with him.
“Yes Spike, your teeth are fine. But there’s just one little problem...”
“Which is?”
“Aside from the obvious shattered fang, your teeth look ok, but we’re going to need to remove your gums.” Colgate tried to keep a serious face, watching the drake go through confusion, bewilderment, realisation and relief. “Seriously though Spike, everything’s fine. I don’t know why everyone has such a fear of visiting the dentist! It’s painless!” Colgate chuckled before spinning up her dental drill, a device that looked more suited for heavy-duty mining than delicate oral operations.
Spike gulped. “I-is it safe?”
“Funny story about that! There was this one Royal Guard once that vowed he would have me banished to the moon for breaking the Geneighva convention. I thought Royal Guards were supposed to be tough.” Colgate laughed, grasping the device with her telekinesis. “Open wide Spike!”
* * *
Spike clambered down from the chair, shaking.
“See, that wasn’t so bad,” the blue-maned dentist smiled. Nurse Bubbles stood beside her, dealing with the tray of dirty instruments. Spike’s fang lay in the middle of the tray, stark white against the bloody matter surrounding it.
“Thsanksh Colghate, ah that feelsh a losh bettah! Twilight ish goin to be shoo happeh thish ish fixed!”
“No problem Spike! Remember, keep brushing three times a day! Could you also let Twilight know she’s got a check-up in a few weeks? That’d be much appreciated.” Colgate bopped the little dragon on the head. Today hadn’t been so bad after all! The young dragon waddled out of the practice, holding his face grudgingly. The tranquiliser would probably wear off after a few hours. Colgate hadn’t taken any chances with the dragon.
"Well, that was... unusual," Bubbles said, disposing of the equipment they had used on Spike. "Must've been something important, Twilight's not one to go racing off impulsively like that," she sighed, carefully levitating the dirty instruments into a tub for incineration. The elderly mare’s faded orange mane was neatly tucked behind her neck. She used to be proud of it, displaying it at every occasion. Age had left it limp and empty, a reminder that even the best things weren’t permanent. Colgate considered this carefully, comparing this to her own life. The dentist had never really given relationships or friends a thought, instead pouring all of her energy into her studies. Just like Twilight. The only difference was that Twilight had made friends...
“Nurse, I am going to make some new friends.”
“Are you sure you didn’t inhale any of that tranquilising gas?”
“Not entirely,” Colgate replied breezily, “but I’m going to try nonetheless!” The dentist stood on the spot for a few seconds, eyes glittering with inspiration. “Erm, Bubbles, how exactly would one go about making new friends?”
“Colgate, you’re hopeless,” her faithful assistant muttered, promptly facehoofing.
* * *
The regal mare paced nervously in her chambers. Her advisor should have been here twenty minutes ago. She glanced up at an ornate clock, doubling her anxiety. The stallion was of utmost importance; a unique individual with a wealth of knowledge. If he had...
“Milady? The Royal Guard are here. They say they need to speak with you,” another mare called anxiously. The first mare paused, her heart freezing over. Even the crackling log fire in the corner did nothing to thaw the ice that had encased her. She knew exactly why the Guard were here. Mentally steeling herself, the mare lead herself gracefully into the entrance hall. On the outside, she was confident and asserted. Inside, she was trembling with fear and apprehension, like a young filly.
“Princess, we’re terribly sorry to disturb you at this early hour, but we bring urgent news,” one guard stated hastily, bowing his head.
“Leather Spine was involved in a large traffic incident. We’re still waiting for the full details, but it appears over eleven carriages were involved. We’ll have the list of survivors to you within the hour.”
Celestia knew her trusted historian, a pony she had known and trusted for years, would not be on that list. A single tear rolled down her cheek. The agents of darkness were once again beginning to infiltrate her government, and it wouldn’t be long before they had another Canterlot-scale assault. The beast had been awoken from its slumber, leaving little room for maneuvering. Celestia did have one option, however. An option that would likely horrify her peaceful, loving subjects.
“Ex Officio?” Celestia called to her personal secretary, trying to hold back the tremors in her delicate voice. “I need you to find me a dentist.”
“A dentist, milady? If I may be so bold, surely the Royal Physician can correct any sickness you may be feeling?”
“No... no. I need a dentist that isn’t from around here. A pony that will be able to blend into Canterlot society without attracting undue attention. Make sure they’re good, too. I don’t think I need to explain that this is of utmost importance.”
“It will be done at once, milady.”
“I hope so,” Celestia whispered, raising one graceful hoof to a frozen window. Somewhere out there, a pony had just died because of her decision. She had to make sure it wouldn’t happen again.
Colgate trotted down Ponyville’s main street, gazing happily at the busy ponies around her. Ponyville's market was one of the highlights of the small town, attracting farmers, craftsponies and food vendors from all over the province. Familiar and exotic scents wafted through the fresh air, setting Colgate's mind at ease. ’What to do, what to do...’ Colgate pondered, absently scuffing one hoof against the rocky path.
“Lyra!” the dentist exclaimed, remembering that the mare had a day off. “I’ll go see her for a while, I guess...” Colgate mused, trotting off towards Lyra's shared apartment. Bon-Bon and Lyra were perfectly suited, even if Lyra hardly lifted a hoof most days. Still, the mare was fiercely loyal and made sure nobody took advantage of her marefriend's quiet, and often timid, disposition.
Colgate strolled past the town’s small fountain, noticing the Elements of Harmony playing in the park next to the small plaza. She envied them. Pinkie Pie was running around in the field, eagerly waiting for Rainbow to toss her a frisbee. ’Hehehehe, good doggie,’ Colgate thought, before mentally scolding herself. ’She’s an Element of Harmony! Bad Colgate! But that’s what I should be doing. Playing with friends, relaxing and socialising like every normal pony. Instead, I’m off to see a crazy assistant confectioner. Bucking wonderful. Still, Dash could knock somepony’s teeth out with that frisbee! I already had to deal with one of her ‘accidents’ yesterday.’
Colgate sighed, adjusting her saddlebags with a slight brush of her telekinesis. The happy, joyous noises coming from around her were beginning to grate against her ears. She began to wander off in the direction of Lyra’s rented apartment.
“Colgate!” exclaimed a mare behind her.
’Wonderful, just wonderful...’ the dentist thought miserably. ‘Why can’t ponies leave me alone for just one day? I have stuff I need to do, ponies I need to see!’ Colgate sighed, turning around. ’Well, I guess I could take some time to see what they have to say! Meetin’ new ponies and stuff. Ugh, why does this need to be so complicated?’
“You wanna come play with us? We’re one mare down and the teams are uneven!” Rainbow Dash shouted happily, gliding over to her. “I never see you anywhere around Ponyville! Don’t tell me you’re an egghead like Twilight, sitting around and working all day!”
That hit home. Heavily. Colgate stood, shocked, for several seconds, before mutely walking away from the pegasus. ’So, ponies do think I’m a boring mare with no social life,’ thought Colgate angrily as she trotted away from the happy, playing ponies. ’Well, I’ll show them! I can have a good time whenever I want! I’m Colgate, the happy-go-luc-’
“Ouch! Colgate, watch where you’re going!” shouted a mare angrily. Colgate was so irate that she didn’t even register the mare’s name. She just acted on impulse.
“You watch where you’re going! If you can’t keep clear of somepony on a simple, straight street, you need your eyes checked!” Colgate snapped, looking up with blazing anger. Staring back at her was a teary, yellow-eyed pegasus. Derpy.
’Oh buck, Colgate. Good job.’ Colgate chided herself mentally, barely taking note of the ensuing silence. The ponies around her grew silent and began to stare at her. Derpy took to the air, bawling her eyes out and decapitating a weather-vane as she disappeared off to hide in a cloud.
“So, thought you’d mock Ditzy’s eyes, huh?” A brawny stallion approached her, not looking impressed.
’Stick me in a tube and call me toothpaste...’
* * *
Lyra looked up from her magazine, disturbed by a loud crashing from downstairs. A few seconds passed before the green mare dismissed the noise. If something had fallen over, there wasn’t much she could do about it. Anyway, the article on Canterlot celebrities was incredibly interesting. ’I’ll have to go back there soon, see some frie-’
“Lyra! Help!” shouted a voice from outside. Whoever the mare was, she sounded desperate. Lyra reluctantly set her magazine aside and stuck her head out of the window. “Lyra, I swear if you don’t open that door, I’ll remove every one of your teeth one by one!”
Lyra registered Colgate below. Then Lyra noticed the crowd of ponies rushing towards her. “Colgate, what the buck have you done!”
“I’ll explain later! Open the bucking door or I’ll shove a toothbrush so far up yo-”
Lyra leapt back and charged downstairs. She certainly didn’t want a toothbrush to be lodged... anywhere. The green mare opened the door, being shoved out of the way by the frantic dentist. Colgate frantically engaged all the locks and galloped upstairs, leaving Lyra very confused.
“Colgate, care to explain what is going on now?”
“Don’t let them take me! I have too much to live for!”
“Relax, the locks on the door are there for a reason. Have you ever had to explain to Bon-Bon why the water bill hasn’t been paid for two months?” Lyra laughed, sinking back into her chair. Colgate was uneasy; something wasn’t right. “Yeah, last time she got that mad, she put up a ladder and came through the balcon-”
“Wait, you have a balcony? And it’s open?” Colgate panicked and dove into the squishy fabric of Lyra’s chair, throwing the green unicorn to the ground. And, as sod’s law dictated, a very pissed-off pegasus stood on the small balcony, squinting at Colgate.
“So, you gonna apologise to Ditzy? If not...”
“Wait, you don’t want to hurt me?”
“Like you hurt Ditzy? No, we’re far more civil than you,” the pegasus snorted with derision. He stood aside, revealing a very teary, upset mare. Colgate leapt out of the chair, rushing over to hug Ditzy.
“Ditzy, I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t realise it was you I knocked over, and I didn’t have time to apologise after you disappeared! I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t mean what I said about your eyes, I swear...” Colgate scuffed a hoof against the wooden floor, looking ashamed.
Ditzy merely stood, dishevelled, behind the angry pegasus. “Ditzy, is that a good enough apology for you?” The mare shrugged, turning away from Colgate.
“Colgate, why would you say something like that? How can I know you didn’t mean what you said? Ponies always mock me for my eyes, and you could be another one of them!” Ditzy spun around, looking Colgate straight in the eyes.
“Please Ditzy, I’ll do anything!” Colgate begged, half in apology and half in self-preservation. That stallion did not look pleased.
“Anything?” Derpy said, raising a hoof to her muzzle. “Well, it has been a long time since I’ve been to somepony’s house for dinner!”
Colgate deadpanned at Derpy. “Ok then, tomorrow night?” she smiled weakly, already cataloguing a list of breakable goods in her house.
‘Great job Colgate, now you’ve got to keep your house from being totally destroyed. Good luck. Why couldn’t you have just thrown Lyra at the pegasus and escaped through the window? You have no class...’
Derpy grinned from ear-to-ear, turning to her gruff-faced protector. “Well, you’re lucky this time,” the pegasus spat, before taking off and disappearing into the bright sky. Derpy gave a little wave, then spun and awkwardly took flight too.
“Can’t leave you alone for two seconds, can I Colgate?” Lyra laughed, kicking her hooves back up and lounging in her chair.
* * *
After Colgate finished reciting the day’s events to a curious Lyra, a frown crossed her face. “Lyra?” the dentist asked, causing her friend to turn away from the kettle.
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“Look, I’ve been thinking...” Colgate started hesitantly, letting her friend hoof over a mug of tea. She took a sip to steel herself before continuing. “I don’t really have much in the way of a social life here. Normally it wouldn’t bother me, but quite a few ponies have noticed that I don’t really see other ponies much. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about that magazine, either. I didn’t realise you were into pegasi!” Colgate laughed, sending Lyra into a furious blush.
“I thought I’d given you the other one...”
“Anyway, I’ve kinda decided I actually want to have more of a social life, y’know?” Colgate murmured, sipping her tea quietly. She loved her conversations with Lyra. She was the only other mare Colgate completely trusted, with good reason. They’d been the best of friends in Canterlot so Lyra had always remained by Colgate’s side. Even once Lyra had started dating Bon-Bon. The dentist had dated a few stallions, none of which had lasted longer than a month. Colgate vividly remembered the last; a stallion who had claimed to be a doctor-in-training in Canterlot. The poorly-hidden jock-strap had quickly disproved that claim. Yes, Colgate hadn’t had the best romantic life so far. The mint-hued mare was the only pony she trusted enough to discuss these matters.
“Sounds like you need to meet some new ponies. Not being funny, but Ponyville isn’t exactly the hub of romantic life in Equestria.” Lyra rose, hugging Colgate around the neck with one hoof, pointing out of the window with the other. “There’s a whole world out there to explore! Most ponies settle here because they have a family or because the Princess decided our little town didn’t have enough excitement.”
“Seriously, what do you have against Twilight?”
“Other than the fact she made me mud-wrestle Apple Bloom over that stupid doll? Nothing...” Lyra finished sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “Using mind-control spells on a civilian population is totally legal, right? I’m serious though, Colgate. You need to get out there, explore and see the world!”
“You’re forgetting I have a job here, right? Anyway, I already have a house and a life. I guess I’m just here to stay...”
“Cheer up Colgate! You never know, maybe something’ll pop up!”
“What are the chances of that happening?”
* * *
Colgate finished her tea, thankful for having had the long conversation. Trotting down the stairs, she turned and smiled at her friend. “Thanks for the advice Lyra, I’m going to see what I can do about going out and meeting some new ponies!”
“Just remember about the ‘Berry Punch’ incident and you’ll do fine.” Colgate grimaced. Her first clubbing trip had ended with Colgate swimming in the town fountain. With Berry. She’d never lived it down. At least she’d only swam in the fountain. Colgate was fairly sure Berry hadn’t just been arrested for disrupting the peace.
Colgate trotted away from Lyra’s house, contented. At least she’d got a second opinion on her situation. Equestria was a damn big country and Colgate hadn’t seen the half of it. ’Places to see, things to do, ponies to meet...’ The idea had firmly rooted in her head and was quickly growing by the hour.
“Colgate! Ah was wonderin’ when yah’d stop by!” a mare called out joyfully. Colgate had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed she’d wandered into the open market again. Applejack merrily waved a hoof and motioned the dentist over to her stall. “So, what can ah get for ya?”
“Oh, hi Applejack! I wasn’t actually here to buy apples, but I guess I could do with stocking up, eh! At least I’d have something to snack on in the practice...”
“Ah can imagine. Ah love workin’ tha outdoors; just a mare on tha land, workin’ to earn a livin’. Yah won’t see me in a office, ah can tell ya that! So, what’re ya havin’ sugacube?”
“Hmm,” Colgate looked over the multitude of gleaming apples on display. So many choices... “I’ll just have a few of those, please,” Colate motioned with one hoof.
"Hi there Colgate! I haven't seen you in forever and ever and ever! Have you not been getting my party invites? I'm sure I addressed them all right! I mean, sometimes I spill icing on the stamp and they get returned, but I'm really super-duper sure I wasn't baking anything when I wrote the last set. Come on, I'm not the type to waste icing, am I? So what have you been up to? Ooh, let me guess! Are you buying... an apple cart? A barrel? Applejack’s stetson?" Colgate winced. She had been fearing an encounter of the Pink kind for most of the day.
“No Pinkie, I’m just buying apples. Y’know, seeing as this is an apple stand and all?”
“Oooh! Are you baking with those apple’s? What’cha making? Apple fritters? Apple tarts? Apple crumble? Apple pie? A two-tiered victoria sponge with a super-delicious apple filling? A...”
'Just smile and nod, it's that easy...' Colgate thought to herself, desperately awaiting the return of Applejack. It was something about Pinkie, possibly the fact that she even smelt of sugar. The thought of all those cavities... 'Ugh' she thought, stepping away from the candyfloss-coloured pony.
“...shortbread? Ooh, ooh, ooh, I know! You’re going to eat the apples, aren’t you!”
“Yes Pinke, well done.”
"Yay! I won! What was I talking about before?” Applejack and Colgate just stared at the party pony in bemusement. “Oh yeah! Gummy and I were wondering if you want to come to a party on Wednesday!" Pinkie produced a glittery invitation. Neither mare knew where it came from, but that’s Pinkie for ya. "It's gonna be mega-awesome, everypony is gonna be there! There will be music, games, my signature punch..."
Colgate's ear twitched. ’Run. We can open a new dental practice in Trottingham. Run! Run, you fool! RUUUUUN!’ The dentist remained rooted to the spot. ’What are you doing? We don't want to go anywhere near that pony or her punch!’
’But this is what Lyra was talking about! You need to make friends with new ponies! Where better to do this than at Pinkie’s party?’
’But the sugar...’
’Friends!’
’Sugar!’
’Friends!’
’Sugar!’
“Uh... Colgate? Are ya feelin’ alright? Yah’ve gone all funny,” Applejack asked with concern, snapping Colgate out of her thoughts.
“Yeah Colgate! You’ve gone super-duper quiet, and your eyes are all moving from side to side to side like this!” Pinkie then proceeded to act the motion out in clear but terrifying detail.
“Sorry, I was thinking. About toothpaste. Yes, I was thinking about toothpaste,” Colgate smiled feebly.
“Sure thing sugacube, ah’ll let ya get back to... toothpaste. Oh, here ‘re ya apples. Make sure ya stop by soon, ya hear?” Applejack smiled, sliding the apples over to Colgate while deftly taking the bits with her other hoof.
“I guess I’ll see you at the part-”
"Eight o'clock sharp! Be there or be a mare! Not that you’re not a mare, but you’ll be less of a mare if you’re not there," giggled Pinkie, bouncing off to prey on another pony.
***
Colgate hummed to herself merrily, unpacking her saddlebags onto her kitchen counter. The room was nice and warm, a small haven from the rapidly cooling weather outside. Rainbow Dash had announced a few days ago that the weather would be getting worse in the build-up to winter, and that everypony should start gathering more supplies.
Colgate lifted out the small sack of apples, setting them aside. She’d also picked up some more tea and toothpaste earlier in the morning, before she’d headed off to Lyra’s. Tucked away at the bottom of the linen sacks, however, rested the pink invite from earlier. Colgate slowly lifted it out, wincing as the scent of candyfloss wafted across the room.
’Hmm. Surely it doesn't taste like candyfloss too.’ Colgate levitated the glittery paper to her mouth and took a small nibble. ’By Celestia’s beard, how did that pony make the invite tasteof candyfloss? Colgate, what have you gotten yourself into?’
She set it aside. Very far aside. Colgate then lit the fireplace, giving the room a nice, soft glow. The fire crackled merrily in the background while Colgate headed into the bathroom. A nice bath would ease the day’s stress. Colgate started filling the bath, grabbing her dressing gown and slippers in the process.
“Stupid Pinkie Pie, inviting me to that horrific party. Why can’t somepony else hold a party in this town? Why does she always have to do it?” Colgate whined, trotting back into the bathroom. She poured some silky bubble bath into the tub, swirling it around with one hoof. The hot water stung against her exposed foreleg, but it was nice. She clambered into the hot water, smiling as the silky liquid enveloped her. The stress began to melt away, leaving her lying in a pool of bubbles and happy thoughts.
Colgate’s mane rippled in the water, the various shades of blue swaying in the corner of her eyesight. She was completely relaxed; her mind an oasis of calm. She began to reflect on the day’s events, specifically Lyra’s thoughts on her current situation.
’Could it be possible? I mean, Ponyville hasn’t exactly been the place I first thought it would be. There is a whole world out there to explore... How could I do it though? Transfer? I guess that could work if I pull some strings. Maybe Bubbles could come with me! It’d be just like it is now, but with so much more excitement!’
Her pay from the dentist work ensured that she had a nice lifestyle. She was moderately well-known throughout medical circles throughout Equestria, having even done a check-up on Princess Cadence herself! She beamed. Her life was fantastic, even if the ponies that passed through the practice were trying at times. She wouldn't trade it for the world. But there was just one thing it was lacking. Excitement.
As she climbed out of the bath and started rubbing her mane dry, her thoughts turned away from her ambitions and towards tomorrow’s work. She made herself a cuppa, levitating it upstairs and leaving it next to her bed. Colgate had a thing for tea, and her favourite brand was imported from mystical lands from beyond the Everfree. At least, thats what the box said. She snuggled up into bed, letting the day's worries flow from her body.
* * *
Princess Celestia paced nervously in her study, completely detached from her surroundings. She was frantically trying to come up with a plan. A plan that would fix her problem once and for all. There was no simple way of solving the cause of her anxiety. Her best doctors, scientists and researchers had looked into the subject, coming up completely blank.
Their data was missing; their records destroyed. Something, or someone, was methodically hiding itself deeper and deeper in the twisted shadows of her government. Before long, the traces would be gone and she would be vulnerable. Luna would be vulnerable. Her subjects would be vulnerable. The graceful mare halted, snapping her consciousness back into reality.
“Ma’am? I have the results from the search you requested. Strangely, some of our records were missing. It must be some kind of bureaucratic error, as I have ensured the records are constantly maintained. I apologise in advance, milady.”
“It’s of no consequence Officio. We’ll have to make do with what we have,” the princess smiled, reassuring her loyal assistant. “Everything is under control, we just have a few loose ends to clear up. Completed files, resignations... let your assistants worry about those. Everything is fine.” Deep down, Celestia wished she could believe such a simple lie. The list in front of her was painfully short. A dozen names, at most.
“Bring these back to me tomorrow. I have some arrangements to make.” Ex Officio bowed, trotting quietly out of the sweeping study. Even the soft, glowfly lighting couldn’t pierce the darkness closing around Celestia.
