FROSTY'S GOT A HITMAN, Scyphi!
[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]
"Frosty?" Scootaloo looked up at the clearly-inanimate snowpony. "Frosty, what happened to your hat?"
A low, almost whispering voice rose from Frosty's frozen body. "R a r i t y . . ." Frosty's voice wheezed. A conveniently-placed goat proceeded to eat Frosty's nose. It will not be relevant again.
"Rarity?" Scootaloo gasped. Sweetie Belle gasped too, but a little quieter. Apple Bloom appul'd.
"W i l l . . . p a y . . ." Frosty continued. ". . . i n . . . f u n . . ." Strangely, even without a working mouth or respiratory system, Frosty cut himself off in a fit of coughing.
"Will pay in fun?" Scootaloo gasped a second time because the author is too brain-dead to think of any other reaction right now. "I'm in! What do we have to do?"
"G e t . . . h a t . . . d e s t r o y . . . t h i e f . . ."
Sweetie Belle rubbed her chin. "Well, I guess it would be interesting to be the one who runs Carousel Boutique, now that I think of it..."
Rarity hummed to herself as her magic living mannequin (ponyquin?) helped her around the shop. "Kyle, dear?" She called, "Do you mind fetching some more fabric from storage?"
Kyle the ponyquin punched a hole through the wall with his face and emerged with a piece of rotting leather.
"Thank you, darling." Rarity took the strip of leather and stuffed it in her mouth. "I amf apsholutely famishedth!"
"Stop right there!" Sweetie Belle exploded the door open. Scootaloo scooted in on her scooter that she named Scoots, and Apple Bloom appul'd in behind her. "Rarity! Your days of thievery are over!"
"Oh, Sweethie Belle! I didnth know you were comingsh home sho quickl--" Rarity didn't finish her sentence before being banished to the moon by the Lunar Yeet Cannon that the CMC had stolen from the royal palace. Don't worry, the guards don't know yet.
As for Kyle, the force of the yeet cannon had sent him flying back through the hole he came from, leaving the hat behind.
"Here, Frosty, we got your hat!" Sweetie Belle placed the hat back on top of the snowpony.
"I LIIIIIIIIVE!" Frosty immediately groaned, throwing both forelegs to the sky. "I HAVE RETURNED TO THE PLANE OF THE LIVING FROM THE VOID I WAS PLUNGED INTO."
Scootaloo cleared her throat.
"Ah, yes." Frosty cleared his throat, resulting in soggy coal dust being splattered across the fillies' faces. "Payment."
Three bags of frozen Funyuns landed in front of the Crusaders.
"Wait, but you said you'd pay in fun--"
"--yuns." Frosty adjusted his buttons and wandered away, where he was promptly incinerated by Sweetie Giraffe. Oops.
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Giraffe ex machina?
You know, this isn't the first instance of a Yeet Cannon that I've seen. One of my AWPs in CS:GO is called Yeet Cannon. I named it after this.
preview.redd.it/c51cp8c74yr61.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=21c52b6823a6c8c3c88de978ecc724acf01f2fe4
Yes, Hi-Point named their new gun the Yeet Cannon. It was an internet contest, and I'm impressed they followed through with it. Though, to he fair, they are a meme.
Now I'm wondering what happened to Kyle...
What if Kyle somehow remained animate and continued to wander Equestria, trying to help everyone he meets?