• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,515 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 101

You didn't know how much time had passed. You had stopped trying to escape and had let Chrysalis just silently roll you about as your vision blurred and span about.

Eventually Chrysalis got bored with this activity and had decided to lay on her stomach, next to your dizzied and confused form. You had somehow managed to avoid vomiting the entire time. "So this is what it's come down to, trapped in this nightmarish dimension with the spirit of chaos and his little lackey" Chrysalis groaned as she laid her chin gently to the ground, staring vacantly at the wall.

You were struggling to turn to your side, everything was still spinning, and you were on your back, waving your hooves about. "uunnnghhh."

Chrysalis hears your moan and looks over to you, but says nothing. She doesn't even take pleasure in your pain. She just looks back at the wall bored. "I need to get out of here"

You finally turn to your side. You rub your stomach to try to settle it as you stare at Chrysalis. She looked pretty miserable. Serves her right.

"How does this happen...? One moment I was on the verge of coming up with the perfect plan to overthrow the princesses. And now i'm stuck babysitting a little wretch of a colt." Chrysalis sighed

You slowly begin to gain your senses back. You stand up, and look over to Chrysalis. You noticed she wasn't being very villainy anymore. she was just wallowing in self pity now. Looked like now was the perfect time to escape. While she was busy moping on the ground.

You sneak to the underside or your door, and slowly begin to ascend upwards to it.

"Leaving, Anon? " Chrysalis says to you, she was soft spoken about it, no hint of anger or annoyance.

You stop, and look down at her. But you don't say anything. She turns her head to look at you. "You're not even going to gloat?"

"I just want to get out of here. I don't care that you're being mopey. You deserve this."

"Cold words, Anon, cold words. I have to say. I don't know how you could even be Discord's son. Even he is not so brutal with his words." Chrysalis slowly stood, and took a single step towards you, in a non menacing manner. again, she must be up to something because Discord can damn well be brutal.

"Yeah well, I'm not my dad. I'm me. And do you think I'm not going to be cold after you rolled me around for who knows how long?"

"I suppose not. But that brings about my next question. What exactly ARE you? You aren't a colt, you aren't a child. You are a deceptive… thing. All that torment and not even a single tear or cry out for your daddy. So why don't you stop acting and tell me what's going on hmmm? It'll make this relationship so much easier."

Not a chance. "I don't know why you keep thinking I'm not a colt. But look at me, see? What else could I be but a colt?"

Chrysalis stood there silent, and quickly changed shape into… you. "Please Anon, you're talking to a master of disguise and deception. If you really think I'm simple minded enough to believe what I see then you're not as intelligent as I originally thought. You may have everypony else fooled, which in my line of work, doesn't seem to take much. But to think that you have me fooled? Well, that's simply ignorance."

...It seemed she was figuring it out. That was weird. Everyone else you ever met was pretty easily fooled. Even Twilight hadn't actually personally gone to the "orphanage" for a closer inspection yet. She was fully trusting you and Discord on this. And yet bugbutt was actually pretty smart. Might be because she is an expert on the art of disguise and trickery. But hell, the only super intelligent beings in Equestria seemed to be villains. Former or otherwise. Your entire existence here depended on that type of ignorance.

You were beginning to feel intrigued over the whole situation. You had to admit. This was never a normal circumstance to begin with. You never ever thought you'd be living with a an actual villain. All that learning about the cliches of saturday morning cartoon villainy had done you well… for the most part as long as they didn't get the drop on you. Now you had the opportunity to delve into it further into the most controlled environment you could have hoped for.

But should you? You could learn more about Chrysalis, as she was trying to learn more about you. In this instance, you could do what other horsefuckers had dreamed of doing. Having a one on one with Chrysalis.

...Dammit, you could feel that curiosity creep on you. Especially with how docile she was looking now. Even if she was taking your form.

You begin to slowly descend from the invisible stairs. "Why do you even care if I'm a colt or not? What about you? Why would you spend all this time doing evil if you knew you'd be eventually defeated?"

Chrysalis changed into her lolified filly form. "Well, that's pessimistic. Nopony goes into something expecting failure. I simply made a mistake, a mistake you had pointed out to me before when we first met. But I digress. There's plenty of evil in this world Anon. Nopony hatches a diabolical plot expecting defeat."

You keep caution, she was up to something now, assuming that form. "Let me rephrase, it's you and your "children" versus EVERYPONY else. Do you really think all of Equestria is just going to lay down and let you take over?"

Chrysalis giggles "I'd like to think so. You'd be surprised how pathetic ponies happen to be. In fact, I'd like to think that if I had actually succeeded. That'd I'd have everypony free range and ready to be drained. There might be a patch of resistance or two… but nothing I couldn't handle."

You roll your eyes at her. "I really doubt you could defeat everypony ever."

"I defeated Celestia, didn't I?" Chrysalis chuckles, "She's quite powerful"

"Yeah, but then you got blown away by a giant love blast. Or did that just slip your mind?" You were getting invested in this, this was one of the things you wanted to do back at her tower. But you had too much fun tormenting her.

"It didn't" Chrysalis's amused expression began to slowly fade. "But all I would have to do is take better precautions next time. Just iron out a few flaws, and then Equestria will be mine! HAHAHAHAHA!" Chrysalis burst into adorable, squeaky laughter.

It was almost cute. You walk over to her, feeling a little smug despite what had happened only moments ago. You were becoming REALLY invested in this conversation.

You then flick her crown like antenna, smirking at her. "Or would be yours if you weren't stuck here."

Chrysalis noticeably wobbled, as if she lost balance. She smacks away your hoof and takes a step back. Grumbling. "My my, aren't we being arrogant all of a sudden."

"I'm just feeling a little confident. I think anypony would be once they realized somepony like you can't actually do anything but silly things like rolling a colt on the floor like a ball."

You grin at her.

"Is that what you want me to do?" Chrysalis grinned right back

...ok, time to reel it back. "Ahrm… no, I ,ok..." You take a breath, and try not to do anything to incite her wrath.

"Good, because I'm actually enjoying this civility between us. Who would have thought that? Hmm? In fact, now that I've answered your questions. Would you answer a few of mine?" She took a step closer, and slid her hoof right under your muzzle "Anon?" She was giving you "that" look

You take a step back, and at least try to act disgusted. "Will you stop that? It's creepy."

"Ahh yes, about that. When you answer my question. I'd rather you not lie like you obviously just did now. I've been nothing but truthful. So I expect the same from you" Chrysalis gave you a sly smile. "You can do that, can't you?"

You grumble, she was trying to get a rise out of you. Which rise? You weren't fully sure. You hesitate to answer. Something Chrysalis notes. "Amazing, here you are. Actually hearing the truth from one you paint as truly terrible. And you, who are supposed to be GOOD can't tell the truth? You do realize the irony, don't you?" Chrysalis's smirk became that more sly and degrading to your being.

That revelation was a little annoying to you. You didn't like the thought of being "the bad guy". "I can tell the truth! It's just..."

"Just what Anon? hmmm? What could make you so hard pressed that you can't tell me some silly secret?"

...Should you really? mnnnngh. If you did, you'd have to talk to Discord later about it. Maybe her knowing would prevent him from letting her out. And keep her trapped here. So you wouldn't have to deal with her both here and in Equestria. Not like you had to tell her everything. Just enough… maybe you could even ham it up a little. "...mmmm. So you really want to know?"

Chrysalis's nods "I do, and I expect to be surprised"

Oh, she'll be surprised alright.

You hesitate again. This was probably a shit idea. But, it could open up a few doors of opportunity. While closing a few for her. "I'm… not a colt… or a pony for that matter. Well… I'm a pony now"

Chrysalis said nothing, she just raised her eyebrow at you. "...That's the worst lie I've ever heard. And even if it was true. I'd sooner believe you were a regressed Stallion than not a pony at all.

"What? you were the one who was suspicious of me NOT being a colt!" The hell was she saying?!

"Yes, but not a pony at all? Then what are you, a dragon? That can't be right since you don't find ponies appalling. And don't mention Twilight's little pet. He seems to be a special case. A minotaur? You lack the self confidence."

"I'm not any of those things. I'm not even from Equestria. I used to be a thing called "A human" "

"What kind of hogwash is that? Do you really expect me to believe that? There's no such thing as "Humans", that's not even a real word, much less a species"

"It's not a lie. Discord plucked me from my dimension. And changed me into a colt"

Chrysalis's scoffed in disbelief "And why would he do that?"

"Err" ...You couldn't tell her. "the same reason you're here. For kicks. And you wanna know what else?"

"What? That those words you made up are part of your "human" language?"

Oh… this was good. This might blow her away.

"No, in my world. we are not only technologically superior to ponies. With machines that can fly, and weapons that could destroy entire kingdoms in an instant. And you wanna know what else?"

Chrysalis didn't believe you for a second "What? that you had some sort of device that let's you go beyond the stars?"

"...well, we almost have that. But what I was thinking of was more along the lines of ponies. Namely, the ponies you and me know. And trust me, what I have to say is a doozy." oh yeah, this was going to blow her fucking mind.

"Didn't you just say you weren't from here? I'd appreciate it if you could at least keep your lies organized Anon, because truth be told. I feel insulted."

You snicker. this was going to be great. "Chrysalis, in my world. All this, you, Dad… or… I guess I should say Discord. And hell, even your enemies. All part of a TV show. A cartoon namely."

Chrysalis was now really annoyed with you "I tire of your lies. I should have known better to actually try to have a civil conversation with a brat." She rose into the air and looked down on you, still in filly form. "I’m going to roll you about until you actually puke"

But you didn't stop smirking at her, you cleared your throat, and began to sing. "This day is going to be perfect, the kind of day of which I dreamed since I was small, everypony will gather 'round, say I look lovely in my gown, What they don't know is that I have fooled them alllllllll!"

You stop, and look at her. She couldn't even maintain her form after hearing that. Changing back, her mouth agape. Nope, you had to laugh. She looked absolutely priceless. Who knew telling the truth would be so fun. "That's impossible. I was singing that privately. I… nopony was around to hear it. You weren't even there, Discord wasn't there. There's NO way you could know what I had sung… there's no way"

"Well, I DO know that your heart had no room for the groom, but you wanted to make him all yours anyway… am I right?" You wiggle your eyebrows at her.

Chrysalis didn't know what to think anymore "...I refuse. I refuse… There's no possible way. A-are you telling me? I'm nothing more than a machination of these "humans"? There must be some sort of other explanation. That can't possibly be right"

"You think that's crazy? It's not just you. I've seen everything unfold as they happen in the form of episodes. Starting right when Twilight first comes to Ponyville. If we look around the house, I bet we could find a season one or two dvd around"

Chrysalis began to falter pretty damn hard "You must be lying. Discord would have to have known about all this. And he seems perfectly fine."

You shrug. "He does know, and if you think that's crazy. There's a dimension in between this one and my world that has the ponies AS humans. Crazy huh?"

"That IS crazy! Too crazy to be believed. So you know a few lyrics. A lucky guess. You could have heard me through the door."

"I was never at the wedding. You could sneak around and collect all the photos from the wedding. I was never there. I was adopted not too long ago. I'm sure you know that. So how could I be there to have heard it?"

Chrysalis had to land. This was all too heavy. She was starting to feel as if everything was turning topsy turvy. "...I… How… what are humans? How can they be this powerful? To just create a world from paper and quill?"

"Oh, actually. We created it using something called computers. It's a device that let's us do anything we want. From anywhere we want. We could get humiliating pictures of someone and spread it across the world in seconds. And trust me, if computers were a thing here. I would have spread that picture Discord took of us a long time ago. Yep, humans are amazing Chryssi. We don't even have a bug problem."

"W-what do you mean by that?" Chrysalis's voice quivered

"See, some of these weapons. We can buy them in a shop like you would food. And we have tons of weapons against bugs like you. From a container that releases a gas that eliminates entire hives. To a spray that near instantly kills a bug on contact. We even have baits that slowly kill bugs that they simply cannot resist. You see Chryssi, if you lived in our world. You wouldn't be banished to Tartarus. You'd be dead… instantly. No sealing, no chance, not even a word or a cackle. No mercy whatsoever. We kill bugs like they are nothing. We don't even need magic to do it."

Chrysalis didn't know what to think. There was no way. She looked into your eyes. To see if there was any truth. She could tell when someone was lying just by looking at them. She's had years of practice.

But the expression you had, was purely evil. You grinned at her viciously. You never thought you'd have her on the ropes like this by yourself. What's more, it was with the fucking truth! Sprinkled with some exaggerations.

You took a gander at the frog of your hoof. "Of course, I didn't even mention the name of the show. See… we call it "My Little Pony." Which is funny really. Because they are tiny the way we saw them. Yup, just like… bugs. See. We didn't even need these weapons. They were luxuries. We could do just as well with a shoe." You stomp your hoof down. "CRUNCH! Bug go squish. Isn't that interesting?"

Chrysalis was now being extremely cautious, this was absolute madness. "...You… wouldn't have brought any of these… weapons with you. Correct?"

"Maybe, what does it matter? How does it feel to know that I've sat down every week and seen this world unfurl before my eyes for the sake of entertainment? How does it feel to know you are just a creation by humans?"

Chrysalis was greatly confused. She felt a creeping feeling of despair come upon her. Part of her was starting to believe. As crazy as it sounded. You had information that just wasn't possible to know unless you had somehow were there personally. Then, a thought had occurred in her head. "........wait"

You grinned at her. "yeesssss?"

"If this… everything was preordained by "Humans". Then how do you exist? You couldn't actually be a human. You'd only be another machination of their design." Chrysalis was growing suspicious, while a feeling she hasn't felt in some time, fear, began to creep up on her. She was deeply interested in this explanation you could come up with.

"Oh Chryssi, Haven't you figured it out?" You quickly thought up a delicious lie. "The reason I watch the show every week? The reason I know everything about everything? The very reason I can remember your lyrics? Let me be more clear. I… AM… YOUR..CREATOR! I have merely inserted myself into my own story and weakened my abilities because I grew tired of ultimate omnipotence. But if I really wanted, I could crush you. Like the bug you are."

Chrysalis was actually convinced. She looked absolutely perplexed.The things you said, the things you knew, even the lust and love she tasted didn't feel ponylike in nature. Even her personal victory song was within your knowledge. She stepped back. "....You can't. You can't be that powerful." Chrysalis then realized something. Something truly horrifying. If this was the truth. If it really was. Then she was destined to lose no matter what she does. "It's impossible! IMPOSSIBLE! I-I am the Queen of the Changelings! How could I be destined to lose when I have conquered kingdoms in the past? It's..."

You step closer, making her step back "Stay back…!"

You had her now! and you were eating it up. You couldn't contain yourself. You never thought you'd be able to dominate her like this. You started to smile, then giggle, then you fell over. Laughing hysterically.

"D-don't mock me… DON'T LAUGH AT ME! I-I AM A QUEEN!" Chrysalis yelled, with no hint of confidence in her voice. But you just kept laughing anyway. You finally had the upper hand on your very own. And it was delicious.

"S-STOP!" Chrysalis stammered. But you wouldn't, you stood up. And tried to stifle your laughter before you died from it. She looked so angry and yet, defeated. You wish you had a camera on you. This was a magic moment.

"HAHAHAH..HAHa...nghhehehe hoo… hoo… boy. That was good."

"I-I'd never thought I'd ever see a creature of such unimaginable power. And yet here you are, playing an entire world for fools. I-I can't even say I'm impressed, it's… terrifying..." Terrifying...oh, that was great. She said it.

You try to compose yourself, but this was just too good. "Relahahax. It's hehe… hmm… mmnnnn. It's alright. I'm just fucking with you"

"I don't want this "Fucking"..I don't want anything from you… " Chrysalis took another step back. She didn't even know what you meant. It almost made you burst into another wave of laughter.

"Hahaha..n-no..no. Look, the whole omnipotent god thing? I was screwing with you. I was making that up."

Chrysalis instantly went from fear to bloodcurdling rage "YOU WHAT?! SO EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS AN ELABORATE LIE?! THEN HOW DID YOU KNOW MY SONG?!"

You raised your hoof towards her. "Relax there bugbutt. everything else was true. That really did happen on the show. With you circling Twilight in that green fire, and your bridesmaids, and all that stuff. I was almost in the same boat you were. I didn't know how Discord did it until he told me. This world wasn't created by humans. See..."

You explain to her the explanation Discord gave you about dimensions and idea flow.

"Gotcha pretty good, didn't I?...But no, I was serious about everything else. You're entire hive would be err...pretty puny."

You were still obviously lying about a few finer points. But damn, was it worth it. You wondered if you should have not told her the truth at all. But if Discord had told her later. Then you'd probably be dealing with a scheming and rage filled bug queen who'd have tried to sadistically mess with you the way you had done her. Best to try to nip that now, while still enjoying the moment.

Chrysalis was not pleased. She felt foolish displaying that much uncertainty. She felt humiliated that you so nonchalantly lied to her just to get a rise out of her. She had never thought a colt would be capable of such a thing. She was still wigged out that you were from another dimension..

"...you are scum" She tells you with loathing in her black heart.

"Don't even, you were the one who wanted to know the truth so badly. You brought this upon yourself. You think you can do whatever you want because you're the queen of bugs. Well, that's what you get for rolling me around and kissing me and stuff."

Chrysalis growled at you.and then a thought occurred to her. "Wait… so in your world. Everything is presented in a moving cartoon?"

You nod. "Yep."

Chrysalis, already composing herself, looked at you, then smirked. "So, then that means I was right. Despite you being an "Adult". You really are just a grown child, who… as it apparently seems… who watched a cartoon meant for little girls."

You nod. "That's r-..." Wait… "Where did you get the idea the show was meant for little girls?"

Holy crap. She recovered fast. M-maybe you let on a little too much information.

Chrysalis smirked at you, as she tried to turn the tides "Well, during your explanation. You mentioned that the show was generated through a flow of ideas from this world. You said the show itself is about love and friendship centered around Twilight and her disgusting friends"

"Yeah… and?"

"Well Anon. Twilight and her friends are all mares. And I know colts don't find it appealing to just sit down and hear about friendship every single week. That's really more of a filly type of thing… Something Discord should have turned you into really. It's more fitting." Chrysalis chuckled. She hadn't fully recovered. But she was going to try to regain control of the situation. She needed it. She needed that control after such a humiliating display. And she had the experience to turn things around even when at a disadvantage.

And you were going to try to keep the advantage. You wouldn't let yourself be phased so easily this time. "Well, in that case. I guess that just makes you a throw away villain. Since you haven't shown up in the show since you got your butt kicked. That's a testament to how generic and boring you are."

Chrysalis internally took offense to that, but wouldn't dare show it externally. Not again... "Well, maybe I never showed back up on your little show because my life is too complicated for little FILLIES like you to understand"

You were starting to get ticked. "Oh yeah, because sitting around on your butt muttering "Hurrr durrr, how will I get my revenge today" all day is real complicated and hard to understand. You're a one note villain."

Chrysalis audibly growled "Better a one note villain than a little punk that was probably so pathetic in his world that Discord took pity on you and brought you here. That's right, you're so pitiful that even that fool felt sorry for you"

"Oh yeah?! Well then, I guess the same could be said for you since you're stuck here. At least I can walk in and out when I please."

Chrysalis stepped closer, feeling more enraged "AT LEAST I'M NOT AN INSUFFERABLE WEAKLING!"

Grrr, you were getting pretty angry now yourself. You started to step closer to her, yelling. "YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU'RE JUST A GIGANTIC MORON WHO DOESN'T NOTICE THAT THEIR FOE IS ABOUT TO CLEAN THEIR CLOCK. I MEAN, FUCKING HELL CHRYSALIS, THEY WERE A FEW FEET AWAY FROM YOU AND YOU LET THEM USE THEIR LOVE BLAST! THAT'S PATHETIC!"

You and Chrysalis met face to face. She went back into filly form, just so she could mash her face against yours. Both of you pushing against one another. "YOU DETESTABLE CRETIN!"

"STUCK UP BITCH!"

"IS THAT EVEN A WORD!?"

"YEAH, IT MEANS YOU ARE A BIG WHINY LOSER!"

"SAYS THE TINY LITTLE SPECK!"

"SHITHEAD!"

"HALFWIT!"

"SLUT!"

"IMBECILE!"

You both stared eachother down angrily. Neither of you relenting. With all the fighting, neither you nor Chrysalis had noticed that your argument had caught the attention of the other changelings. They were all slowly congregating into the living room. Watching the fight.

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