Dadonequus Discord (Book 1)

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 235

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Chrysalis bids goodnight.
Anon wakes up.
And Discord wants to teach a lesson

As you were flown over to your window. You started to instantly planning on getting the horn back. Would you take it and run? Well, you didn't need to run. As it seemed to you the barrier between everyone only worked inside the house. So you'd be safe.

Would you go tell Discord? Well, yeah....he'd care...hopefully... Would you threaten to reveal her?......She'd see right through that. Well, you had to think of something dammit!

You were helped inside by the changelings holding you. Chrysalis sat on your bed as the captain looked up at her. He seemed pretty depressed. The changeling holding you placed you on the ground and flew up to the ceiling to watch what was going on....what was going on?

"My Queen....I've failed you again. I failed to destroy the rogue ex-captain..." The Captain whined.

Chrysalis, the horn adorned along her neck, just looked down at the captain and then gently smiled at him. "Nonsense, you actually let me have the pleasure of destroying him myself. Leaving the window open was a brilliant plan Captain, it made it very apparent that he was around."

The Captain didn't know what to feel, he had just left it open, but....if that's what his queen liked. "Y-you really thought it was brilliant?"

"Of course...." Chrysalis lifts up the horn with her hoof and smiles at it "You did a very fine job"

.....You were getting anxious. But even with the barrier. Making a move right now would be pretty dumb.

"T-thank you my queen" The Captain bows. "I live to serve....to be honest. If it wasn't for Anon...I'd probably would have been destroyed before you got there...that's bad...isn't it?"

Chrysalis looks down at him and pats at her side, inviting him onto the bed. "Come here Captain." The Captain still felt ashamed, and yet thankful. He hopped up to the bed and laid on his belly as Chrysalis began pet him. "Anon is my friend and a valuable asset, you did a good job in making sure he didn't die in a stupid fashion. For now, that's all I could have asked for"

Really? REALLY?! He was the one who almost got you killed.

"Speaking of assets....This belongs to you, doesn't it Anon?" Chrysalis removes the amulet from her neck and tosses it on the floor in front of you.

.....All of your wuts.

You just look down at it, then at her. Flabbergasted and speechless. Chrysalis gave you a smug little smirk "What...you don't want it now?"

You slowly take it, and put it around your neck. This couldn't be a forgery. She wasn't that good. ".....You just...gave it back...why?"

Chrysalis rolls her eyes at you and lays on her side upon the bed as the Captain hops behind her. Quickly giving her a back rub. "Anon, what am I supposed to do with it now that the charge is used? Use it as a pleasure piece? Holding on to it would cause me problems with Discord. I don't think I could hold on to it until the next morning...so...You can have it back...a little lower captain. I have a few aches down there."

The Captain moved to her lower back and gently massaged it. He must have been quite good because Chrysalis was becoming dreamy eyed. The other Changelings just hung around and watched. A flutter of wings there, a hiss here.

...So she's just handing it back to you to avoid Discord?...No, you don't buy it. Something changed. Just like you didn't need to save the captain. She didn't need to save you. And why the encouraging words to him anyway? All he did was leave the damn window open. What was she doing in your room?....something.....was off....did she....actually truly care?

".......You actually care...Don't you realize what you have done?"

"Hmmm? What are you talking about?" Chrysalis says as she signals the Captain to stop.

"You saved me, you saved the captain. You could have just taken the horn and ran. You didn't need to waste the charge saving us." You laugh at how big the realization is. "You truly care! Doesn't it feel good? You did a good thing..I'm proud of you Chrysalis. I'm...just happy to know you actually care. You can't deny it, Chrysalis. Even you have to realize that you can't spin this in anyway. You even gave the horn back! Haha! And here I thought that maybe..just maybe...it really was impossible to reform you"

Chrysalis groaned as she stretched, her mane coming down along her face, covering one of her eyes, she just stared at you silently for a moment before giving a dismissive titter. "Hmph...Who do you think I am? Discord? I've said it before, but it doesn't seem to sink into that naive skull of yours. I DO care about you, enough to save you from your own idiocy. Since I could already tell the ex-captain fooled you into stepping through that window..."

"I know you've said it, but you've never shown it. Chrysalis, stop fooling yourself-hyAA!OMPH!"

Chrysalis magically pushes you into the wall while the changelings behind you scamper away. Chrysalis herself raises herself up to be resting on her belly as she looks down at you. aggravated. "Let me make things VERY clear Anon. I'm not some lonely and depressed husk of a being that's going to bend to the concept of "Love" and "Friendship" just because I was actually worried you would be gone! You are going to sit there, and I'm going to explain this once! and only....once. I have spent my years...so MANY years trying to gain TOTAL conquest of Equestria. You are aware of my surprise when I beat Princess Celestia....correct? Nod or shake your head"

You nod, but you still speak. She couldn't do any serious harm to you. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Ergh..I hate it when you're defiant.." Chrysalis knew she couldn't do any major harm. Not without harming herself… "Well....either way" She calmed herself, and released her hold on you. "If you will be quiet and listen, you'll learn something. Everypony get comfortable...it’s time for some Changeling history..."

Well, whatever happiness you had for her saving you was quickly leaving your mind. But...some more history?.. "....Chrysalis.." You didn't know what to tell her, you still had it in your mind that she was just fighting it. "Is this going to explain why you just refuse to accept my help?"

"It is… Now as my friend, will you hush until the story is over?" She just stared at you, waiting. What were you going to do? If this would ultimately lead to the true answer. Then you'd have a way in....because she saved you. There was nothing you could think of that would lead to an ulterior motive.

You nod..and wait....this was your strategy for now.

"Good...Now" Chrysalis put on a more gentle smile as she looked upon her children. "I'm sure most of you will remember this. Some, younger...like the dear captain here..." She turned and gave him a gentle pat. "will not...but it truly happened.

“When we were younger, when I was young. I wanted to rule the world. To do that, we had to dethrone the ones who moved the sun and the moon. When I first showed myself, it was in the form you see now. I presented myself as a queen of a lost tribe of beings who wanted nothing more than to love...and to be loved. And like fools...those princesses believed me" Chrysalis chuckled, the hive joining along with her.

"We were able to conquer many a place without them ever being the wiser. They never realized we could shape shift. And so we had no opposition. Taking over Canterlot itself however.....was an impossibility at the time. I had come to realize that both sisters held terrible power, so I led my secret campaigns in order to acquire more love while retaining "friendships". And that's probably the most important part of this story Anon...is the friendship part. Princess Celestia and her sister had treated me with nothing but kindness, they treated me like one of their own. It was beautiful, it was lovely....it was pathetic. Perhaps that’s what gave me away.

“Princess Celestia started to suspect I may not have been what I seemed. And even offered me a chance of redemption for the crimes she had figured out that I have done. She offered to help me and my hive, to show me the light." Chrysalis looked a little regretful now, but not because she hadn't taken the offer. "Perhaps it was my youth that had caused me to fail. I was rash and bold. I declined her offer instead of taking it and continuing the ruse. I had my hive already stationed to attack. My Ex-Captain ready to mobilize my entire hive into battle. Well, needless to say...we lost. The good Princess had already had her sister and their armies ready in case I refused..."

Chrysalis sighed, the memory was strong for her. She was frowning at the thought of her losing such an important battle. "I suppose a girl like myself didn't deserve a victory for such poor planning. We only managed to escape because the ex-captain had also thought of an escape plan in case of failure. Tell me Anon, didn't you wonder about Celestia and Luna's sealing streak? Discord, Sombra, Tirek....they weren't taking any chances after what I had done."

.....Was that all really the reason?...Wait..what about. No, you think you figured it out. "And then Nightmare Moon....Let me guess. After Celestia had to seal up her own sister. She softened up. You didn't know by what degree. That's why you found it so surprising."

Chrysalis smiled at you and nodded. "That's exactly it, again...very astute of you Anon. I'm proud of you."

The rest of the hive started clapping on the walls,ground, and ceiling in celebration. Chrysalis looked upon them with a grin. "Yes yes, I know. I'm a good storyteller...but, this is more of a lesson really. Anon, did you figure out what that has to do with our friendship?"

..No, the only thing you got was some weird Anti-Celestia vibes. "...No, I still don't get it" ...You didn't know what to feel. You just...stared. You just wanted to know the answer at this point. It was all so..odd.

Chrysalis put a hoof to her head and shook in disbelief. "Ugh..Well, you can't be perfect. You...in specific. But, the answer is simple. I am, what I am. I want, what I want. And even when many..many..moons have passed. It will not change me. You are not even an exception to that rule. You are my friend because I like the way you think, I like your attitude, I like your easiness, why...I even like your culture. I can speak with you and not feel like you want to destroy everything I am working towards. Even when you say you want to reform me, I can still have fun and relate to you. I still want it all Anon, and when I have conquered Equestria. I would love to have you by my side as part of MY hive. Part of me believes you are willing to make that switch to my side if you are brought to a hopeless position. If not, I can just keep you in a cell until you're ready.....or you perish...whatever comes first. For now, I simply enjoy your time and company."

“Do you understand now? Friendship to me does not equal "Magic". Friendship to me means simply having somepony to enjoy my time with...and HAS NOTHING to do with becoming "nice" and "Good". And that's why I want you to drop it. As a friend, I want you to drop the fact I saved you. You can continue to try reforming me simply because most of the time it's adorable. But get your priorities straight Anon. You'll live longer..."

..So...was that it? Were you even ever past square one? "I see.." You were pretty melancholy now over the entire situation. You could feel your goal slipping away from your hooves. "So never once, did you feel like that maybe....living among the ponies might be good for your entire hive?"

"Noooooope" Chrysalis says bluntly.

....

"I don't believe that"

"WHAT?!" Chrysalis immediatly goes red in anger "BUT I JUST TOLD YOU!-"

You suddenly burst out in anger as well, you didn't want to lose this. You didn't want to be a failure all over again. "AND I'M TELLING YOU!" You get up and march over to her, climbing up onto the bed to meet her face to face. "I don't care about that history lesson, I don't care what you think, I don't care what you know. Because if conquest was REALLLLLYYYY that important to you. You would have taken the horn and ran. You're the one who spouts that our friendship is different and has nothing to do with reforming! But do you know what I think? I think you've become accustomed to me. You don't want to go back to being alone with no one to understand you. You find me interesting because I can level with you without being an idiot asskisser or hypnotized moron. You don't want to lose me! That I know is absolute truth! I'm thankful that you saved me! I really am. I'm even thankful that you saved the captain. But if you think I'm going to believe for a second that there wasn't a small growth in that black little heart of yours then you're wrong!...." You take a few breaths and back off a bit "....I'm not going to give up just because you think I'm wrong"

Chrysalis was just looking at you. Surprised, and not knowing what to say. Not because she had nothing to say. But she noticed you were being stubborn. A familiar sense of stubborn. "Pleasant sleep Anon..." Chrysalis just got up, and started to lead her changelings down through the floor door.

Wut? You turn around, and look at her. "That's it? Really? Nothing to say?"

"There's nothing to say" Chrysalis looks back at you, her expression looked tired. "Clearly we have different ideas of friendship and what is going on. And only one of us is right. So the game continues...until one ideology turns out to be the right one....hmm?" Chrysalis looks over, only the captain has not moved. "Captain? We're leaving"

"I-I know my queen...b-but. I know you all just yelled at eachother and stuff. But...we're all still friends right?" He looked very worried

Chrysalis sighed and shook her head "Yes....now come on down. We have rest and planning to do for rest of the day."

"Yes..my queen!" The Captain salutes then looks towards you with a smile. "Seeya next time Anon! And remember...don't open the window again!"

Mnnnn… "...Have a good sleep you two...I know this isn't over. And..." You lean forward, keeping your resolve. "You always committed to taking down empires through lies, so I know that what you said about not giving in....that might as well be a lie. I can't give up...not yet"

Chrysalis gives you a small smile before leaving. "I feel the same way"

You snuggled into bed and contemplated what had happened. So then, Chrysalis's story was that it was a difference in what you and her consider friendship. Even then, there's still the fact she chose you and the captain over the horn. Over possible conquest....or maybe you're overthinking things on that.

Either way, You couldn't give up. She could deny it all she wants. But you knew you had to have made some headway. Though, on the flip side. What was she thinking right now? Was she thinking the same thing? That she made some headway with you? ...You couldn't answer that, you didn't even know. Everything felt the same...so..maybe not. Better to just sleep on it.

Also, never ever fucking open that window again. For anything...you didn't need to deal with whatever was out there. Sad for the ex-captain really. If he didn't defect, would he have become a better person? Would he a good friend?

You had a little guilt for the situation, but you had to get over it. He brought it upon himself. The guy did seem hateful though. Or maybe it was his pride as a captain. Either way, you shouldn't put too much thought. You didn't know him. you never got to know him. For all intents and purposes, it's probably better to forget about him. But, still pity him. He did deserve that much.

You sleep on that, you had school in the morning and you didn't want to be late. Though, it didn't feel like you were sleeping for long. Hell, the only thing you felt was a wall slamming into your face. Or rather, your face slamming into the wall as the bed launches you. A nostalgic feeling to be sure.

"AAAARGGGHHH!" You fall back onto the floor and look at the ceiling in a daze. "...n-nghhh..w-what… WHAT?!" The alarm. DID YOU MISS THE ALARM?! FOR SCHOOL!?

"S-shit" You rub your face and make sure everything was in the right place as you got up to check what time it was.

6 AM....wut? "...What in the....what gives?"

"I give....Good morning Anon!" Discord sinks through the ceiling as he coils up on your bed and looks at you with a wide and cheery smile "It's time to greet the day!"

........

"......You gotta be shitting me...it's not even time for school! I set the alarm for a reason you fuck!...ngh" You rub your face. "Besides, why the fuck did you have to launch me out of bed anyway?"

"That's what you get for sleeping in when we have a parent teacher student meeting to go to. Can't be late you know, you're teacher is the type to hate tardiness"

....Wut?...What meeting? "...The hell are you...look." You rub your head. "What game are you playing at this time Discord? I had a rough night you know...morning..whatever. And I know Miss Cheerilee doesn't want to see you,"

"Oh please, you survived didn't you? And then you went to bed. Don't be selfish, I'm trying to be a good father here."

You let out a defiant "ha". "Really? Or are you schem-..wait" .........he knew?...when did he...know? ".....you know what happened last night?"

"Mhmmm, I knew the moment you opened that window. You see, whenever anything that leads in or out of the house opens. It releases a silent but powerful wave of magic. It even has a chance of destroying the house and obliterating all it's occupants!" Discord smirks at you "Isn't that remarkable?"

Noooooooooo....nononon..he was fucking with you. "..Are you serious? You're not. Even you wouldn't do something like that."

"I would, I did, and I did it for the sole purpose of alerting me of the fact that somepony might be coming or going. In this case...going" That mischievous grin never left him as he spoke.

.......He was serious...wasn't he? "ARE YOU INSANE! ARE YOU TELLING ME WE COULD ALL BLOW UP FROM YOU CHECKING YOUR MAILBOX OR SOME SHIT?!"

Discord nods with a smile. "Mhmm! it keeps things exciting, doesn't it? Never knowing if stepping out will be your last? Not mine of course, I'll survive."

.....You just fall onto your back, this guy was unbelievable. You just sigh and speak more solemnly. "Whatever....god...you're such a headache sometimes. So...what? You knew what happened and you didn't decide to save me? Or should I just guess that you had some dumbass smugridden reason as to why you didn't help? Something like "It was too entertaining to interfere"....or some shit like that..hmm?"

"Actually Anon" Discord produces a silver medal with his own face on it and puts it around you. "I want to commend you on an entertaining performance. Why should I need to help when you were already doing so well against the ex-captain yourself? In fact, had the runt not gotten in your way. You most definitely would have obtained victory"

...Was he..praising you? "Discord, really? No lie? You think I did great? I mean..that kinda changes things. You never really praise me like that."

"Well of course I mean it, that's why I gave you the silver medal. You were close, but not quite there"

"So I'm guessing Chrysalis gets the gold, huh?" You chuckle a little, the problem didn't seem so bad now that it was solved...or blown up rather.

"No, actually she's disqualified. She didn't put on quite as good a show as you did. She didn't even destroy the ex-captain. Failure doesn't earn you medals you know...in fact." Discord rips the medal away from you. "You don't really deserve this either"

"H-hey! I think I did....wait..WAIT!" ...no… "ARE YOU SAYING HE'S STILL ALIVE?!"

Discord nods as he poofs the medal away. "Indeed! What, did you think he was gone forever?"

"YES!" You were now frantic. "SHE FUCKING NUKED HIM! HOW DID HE SURVIVE A NUKE?!"

Discord smirks and lays down on your bed as he rests his head on his arms. "Oh, why that's simple. The ex-captain is a being of chaos now. And due to his Changeling origins, he feeds off chaos itself. No matter how badly you blow him up, as long as his essence can absorb chaos, he'll come back, stronger than ever, making your efforts futile. So I'd recommend keeping that window closed if I were you"

STRONGER THAN EVER?! IS THIS GUY SERIOUS??! THATS A FUCKING PROBLEM! "DISCORD!? WHY?! IF YOU KNEW THAT WHY DIDN'T YOU INTERVENE?! Wait..."

You try to calm down. Maybe he wasn't being overly truthful. maybe the reason he didn't intervene was because he couldn't. "Discord...look, I get you are trying to get a rise out of me. I even know why you didn't come to save me. He would have drained you bone dry. But you have to cut that kind of shit out, you should have told both me and Chrysalis RIGHT after it happened. We may have been able to do something extra. I mean..I dunno...put his dust in a jar or something. Hell, why didn't you do that then if he was just gonna come back?"

Discord scoffs and rolls his eyes as he chuckles. "What are you even talking about? I wasn't afraid of anything. I said he drains chaos, not chaos magic. I would have been fine..."

He would have been fine? HE WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE?! "THEN WHY NOT DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM NOT COMING BACK THEN?! IF HE'S GOING TO COME BACK MORE POWERFUL, THEN LOGIC STA-........ugh" You put your hoof to your forehead. "....I somehow forgot you don't give a shit about logic."

"Nope! Now then!" Discord floats up and puts on some nerdy looking glasses and a brown vest through his magic. "Moving on, I'd like to see your teacher to see if she'd let me teach a history lesson about my rule of Equestria. You don't see a lot of books about ,it you see, and I fear the students are missing out on an important piece of history"

Your eye was twitching from rage. You barely even heard him. "Listen you! We need to talk about this! He's going to come back and try to kill us. ALL of us"

Discord adjusts his glasses as he looks at you with a bored expression "He will, and as long as you NEVER open that window, we'll be fine. I'll promise you this Anon, we are perfectly safe from him as long as you follow that rule. The only thing you'll have to worry about is if he gets fresh and starts cackling outside the window trying to get you to open it. Which..I hope you never do. If he does somehow finds another way in. Well.....hrnnn..I don't have a follow up to that" He shrugs. "Oh well, we'll have to wait and see I suppose"

You reach out your hooves towards his "neck". You wanted to choke the shit out of him for being so nonchalant about this. But...that's what he always did...didn't he? Just getting angry wasn't going to do shit. No...it really wasn't. He probably did have it handled..you hoped so anyway. You sigh, take a moment to relax, and move on to the school thing. "...Ok...fine. We'll just wait and see then, just like you said. Mooooving on, what did you say about this history thing?"

"Hrn? You're not going to complain anymore?" He asks

"No, I already know it won't do any good. So I'll just trust your word and not open the window ever. So...go on.."

"Yes, well" Discord takes off his glasses to clean them before putting them back on. "I want your teacher to allow me to teach her students, including you, the history of me. No more, no less. I want to keep things simple"

...Yeah right. "Nothing is simple with you Discord...but" You sigh, you realize you were being too unfriendly with him. You didn't want to push him away. "...I don't see a problem with it, Its not me who has to make the decision anyway. You're going to have to convince Miss Cheerilee. But, since I'm your chaos buddy..."

You give him a gentle smile. Hopefully, if there was any bad blood, this will cure it. You didn't want him trying anything vindictive on you with the other children involved. Besides, he was your friend. You knew in the end, he understood that. He should understand there is a limit to what he should do....hopefully. "I'll be there for you, I'll help you make it happen. But if it doesn't. Don't force it..please? And if it does...don't overdo it....double please..ok? Buddy? Remember, I go to school with these guys and I don't need them being afraid of me or you...more afraid of you"

Discord sighs. "Very well....fine. But, since the actual convincing will be done before the students come to class. I want you to not complain about my actual methods. Deal?"

"Deal, sounds fair to me"

Discord hovers upwards in a spin as he opens the portal door, feeling absolutely delighted. "Fantastic! Well then, let's not waste anymore time and get this show on the road!"

"Yeah...oh wait!" You almost forgot, thinking of school actually made you forget..it was like a dream. "Discord, I almost forgot to tell you. Luna knows about Chrysalis."

Suddenly, like if a piano hit all the wrong notes, Discord stops. And without looking at you, he says in a grim voice "....What?"

....Uh oh… "Erm, Yeah. Luna went peeking into Applebloom's dreams and found out about Chrysalis. Just erm..thought you'd want to know that...is there a problem?"

"Problem..?" Discord turns around, he looked absolutely infuriated. flame bursting on his head. "OF COURSE THERE'S A PROBLEM! OHHHHH!"

"Why?! What difference does it make?" Oh shit

"Anon!" Discord produces a calendar and marker as he starts looking through it frantically. "Don't you realize now that both princesses know that Celestia has no reason to hold back now? The sisters will plot to try to moderate everything we're doing...everything you're doing...."

"Huh?...nahhh" Nah, he had to be overreacting. "What are they going to do other than an occasional check? As long as I don't screw up, it should be fine. I mean, I'm actually with you on this if this was a problem. But Celestia trusts me."

"But does Luna? Even if they both trust you, Luna is less merciful than her sister when it comes to things like this. She will no doubt try to convince Celestia to have us snooped on in some way. And I REALLY don't feel like having a royal sit down because "we did something they don't like". I think you're doing a fine job. Why jeopardize that?"

Mnnn, is that true? You'd rather there not be a misunderstanding about your relationship with Chrysalis. You didn't want the princesses getting the wrong idea. An idea like she has control of you or that you aren't making much progress. Because you knew that wasn't true. You were making progress, you felt you were doing a good job. "Then I'll do the mature thing and have a visit with them. Get it sorted out. Trust me, you'd be surprised how far you can get with a civil conversation...what are you doing anyway?"

Discord finds the date he's looking for and marks it down. "Planning, if the princesses do decide to play dirty. Then we'll just have to play dirtier. How does crashing a crystalling sound?"

Wut? "....uhhhh"

Discord poofs away the calendar. "In other words...how would you feel about meeting the future prince or princess of the Crystal Empire?" Discord grins at you, a very evil grin

"Ok, woah woah. Back up. Are you saying your idea for a revenge you might not even need to do is to mess with a kid? A baby?! C'mon, that's pretty dick. Even for you. You know for a fact I won't help you with that"

"And that's exactly what I'm counting on. For you not to help. Because I won't need any. How can you help on something that won't actually happen." Discord was being confusing once again.

The hell was he talking about? "...What? But you just said we'd be "meeting" the future prince or princess."

Discord nods happily. "And we will! It will be great fun. Because that’s ALL we'll really be doing. Besides taking on a few of the sights, we'll be doing so much of nothing that Luna, Celestia, Cadance and especially Twilight won't be able to help BUT feel we're actually up to something...when we actually aren't. It's the perfect revenge! We'll drive them nuts by doing NOTHING! Ohhhhohohoh, Discord Discord..where do you come up with such GENIUS plans" He giggled arrogantly.

......What?....Actually. Considering how suspicious Twilight could be..and actually...how could you even get in trouble when you do nothing. "Uhhhh...actually. Discord, that doesn't sound bad at all. I actually did want to see what kind of train wreck this baby would be. Since it would be part of the show too, I want to see exactly what we'd be getting. And if we're not going to cause any actual trouble....I suppose being a little underhanded like that won't hurt. In fact, I say we do it whether my talks with the princesses go good or not"

What could it hurt? It's innocent fun in a way. You can see the empire at your leisure. Get a little payback on Luna and Celestia for Nightmare Night. And see whatever abomination plops out of Cadance.

"Really?...No qualms, no complaints, no moral issues? You do realize how evil this plan is, don't you? It might even be too intense for you ,Anon" Discord warns

You shrug, and grin at him. "Are you kidding? I spent most of my human life doing nothing. I mean, that’s what we'll be doing right? Just doing...nothing wrong? Nothing chaotic?"

Discord nodded and grinned as he rubbed his talons with his paw. "Exactly, We'll cause chaos by causing no chaos. And the best part is they won't be able to say a word about it. Anon...." Discord started to tear up, he had to wipe his tears as they flowed out a little quicker than anticipated. "You're doing your old man proud. Wanting to do this whether the princesses will interfere with us or not shows real initiative. There was times I doubted how you earned your cutie mark. But these are the times that show me that it is indeed well deserved. Ohhh! Come here my boy! Give your daddy a hug!" Discord opens his arms for you.

Oook, that was a little much...but what the hell. Even a douche like him could use some affection. "Ok ok, but not too tight ok?" You both hug, and at first it's fine. Until suddenly he starts spinning, squeezing you tightly. "RGFGF"

"Oh Anon, everytime I doubt you, you always come back showing me how wrong I was. It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy that I can't possibly hold back anymore!" Well that was fine for him, but you were starting to turn blue. "Why, I'm now so optimistic about everything that I might do something nice for somepony other than Fluttershy"

"RFWTGREF" You gasped

"Anon..." Discord then gets a little annoyed as he lifts you up as you take heavy breaths "I'm giving you praise, the least you can say is "Thank you" "

He brings you to eye level, and you give him an annoyed look equal to his own. "....Just put me down."

Discord does so without a comment or criticism, and then gently pets you on the head. "And that’s my good deed...whew...Fluttershy was right, it does feel good to be nice every now and again. Well Anon" Discord grinned as he looked towards the portal door "Are you ready to go?"

You sigh, and walk up next to him. "After all that? I shouldn't help you at all y'know"

"Yes, but then you wouldn't get delicious, non-melting soft serve ice cream for lunch now would you?"

As you grab your saddlebag, you hear a small poofing sound come from within it. You just stand there, thinking for a moment. "........remember, don't overdo it"

Discord chuckles. "I won't, trust me Anon...I know what I'm doing"

You both began to make the trek through town. As you both walked, you looked up at Discord, trying to figure out exactly what he had in mind. Hopefully he wouldn't overdo it.

And then there was Cadance and Shining Armor's eventual kid..... "Discord, I got a question for you"

"Hmmm? What would that be?"

"It's about the baby Cadance is having. Doesn't that whole thing sound like...y'know...a season premier?"

Discord shrugs "What if it is? Wouldn't that just make things more interesting?"

"I...guess" There was something you found worrying. "But...what about the big bad then? Shouldn't we do something if someone comes to kidnap the kid?"

Discord chortles at that "And who, pray tell, would do that? Let's consider this. Who would most likely try to foalnap Cadance's child?"

"Well...for one...there's you...for reasons" You give him a smirk

Discord rolls his eyes "Besides me Anon, besides me! And we already have a plan remember? No foalnapping involved."

hmmm "I guess that would mean it would be the grand return of Chrysalis. Wanting her revenge on what happened." That actually makes you chuckle "Ha! of course, that can't happen. She's stuck at the house."

Discord chuckles along with you "Exactly! So what else do we have to worry about?"

"Ummm, I guess there's the princesses probably trying to gauge an answer out of me about what we are really doing...which, what we tell them really is what we are doing."

"And you're not going to tell them WHY we're doing it right? Celestia and Luna especially can be very persuasive against you, I know. Those cuddles of theirs must be irresistible" Discord reminds you

You sigh, and feel a little warm at the thought of it. But...You wouldn't give in. "I don't mind dicking about on all four of them. We're doing this for fun. And since the obvious threat won't be fucking shit up. It should go smoothly."

"Really now?" Discord smirks at you "...you're even willing to lie to THE Celestia and Luna themselves?"

"Discord, do you want to know what I really learned from Twilight week?" You ask him

"Do tell" Discord said, actual curiousness in his voice.

"I learned three things actually. One, not having the horn really really sucks. Two, being overly nice and clean gets you shit on or nearly killed by a chimera. And three, It just isn't me. I will just be myself. I can be nice, but I can also be other things..I dunno..I thought I had things figured out."

Discord chuckles "You don't want to say the opposite of being nice, do you?"

"Nah, makes me sound too dickish. Besides, I haven't forgotten Nightmare Night. I think we are long overdue for at least one win against them" They did pretty much fucking cheat.

"HA!" Discord flips around and looks upon you with a big grin "Now that's what I wanted to hear! Ohhhh Anon, it's going to be glorious. Never have I ever not done anything. It's going to drive them all up the wall trying to figure out what we're actually doing! Ohhhh" Discord licks his lips and taps the edges of his talons to his paws "It's going to be so delicious. I simply can't wait"

"Relax there buddy, Don't let that overflow into what we're doing now. Cheerilee is my teacher after all. And she's really nice. So y'know. Don't piss her off too much. ok?" You really did like Miss Cheerilee. She was doing her best as a teacher and she let you have sleepy times during recess. She was pretty based.

"Oh relax, trust in me Anon. It's going to be fun for everypony. It will be the best history lesson of all time! Even you'll agree" Discord said with childlike excitement

"...We'll just have to see....also, remember to use the front door. Ok?"

Discord let out an "eghhh". He was happy with you up until you were getting a little controlling. "Fine..."

"Don't be like that, c'mon. You want Cheerilee to let you do your lesson thing? Then be nice to her. The nicer you are, the better a chance she'll say yes." Surely he could do that much if he really wanted to do this history lesson.

Discord let out a soft snarl as he looked away from you "I thought you said being overly nice was a bad thing"

"Only sometimes, this time is one of the times where being nice can get you places. Hey, at least I'm not trying to stop you, right?"

Discord let out an arrogant snicker "As if you could stop me"

"...No, but Fluttershy would be awfully mad if she found out you scared my teacher and my class." You mention

Discord winced at that "...That's such a dirty move."

"I know" You snicker back at him "And it works everytime. But seriously, just be nice. I'll help out. You got me interested on what you want to teach. I mean, you're not going to endanger a bunch of kids...right?"

Discord shook his head. "Of course not! Just trust me Anon, It will be a lesson of legend!..well, considering it's about me. I'd already think that part is self explanatory."

"Heh, whatever you say Discord"

As you both near the schoolhouse. Some thoughts started to flow into your head.
Mostly...you remembered you need to go bowling with Spike. You couldn't remember if that was today or yesterday. Whatever, as long as it's done. Also, that arcade cabinet. You wonder if Twilight has it in her castle yet.

Also, maybe you should go in first?...that might be a better idea. "Hey Discord, let me go in first. I bet Cheerilee would be more cooperative if I warm her up a little."

"Are you saying my sunny and lovable disposition isn't enough to convince her?" He says as a halo appears above his head "I'm probably the nicest Draconequus in existence. I don't see why she'd be so rejecting of my idea anyway. Teachers love to teach, don't they? It's a very teachable subject"

"....." You roll your eyes at him "Do you believe the bullshit you spout?"

"Only if it will sell my words better....but, since you seem to know what you're doing. I'll allow it" Discord stands aside and bows, pointing to the door. "I'll put my full trust in you. In fact, I won't even take it hard if you fail. We are partners after all, And although...it's a little out of context of what Fluttershy wanted. She told me putting trust in you would go a long way."

Woah... "Really?...Thanks Discord. That means a lot to me, it really does. And it's nice to know you won't get mad if I screw up. I was actually a little w-..." You then put your hoof to your head and sigh "...just because you won't get upset doesn't mean you'll make me suffer. Right?"

"Bullseye" Discord winks at you "But, because we're best buddies. You won't suffer AS MUCH as you normally would. Isn't that grand?"

"...Of course...Welp...." You walk over to the door, your enthusiasm already drained. "....Let's give this a shot"

As you slip through the door. You realize Discord will always be Discord no matter how close you both get. Maybe, in actuality. It was your fault. He'd never make Fluttershy suffer. Maybe it's the fact that you tolerate it that he does this to you so much. Maybe it was his own way of showing he cares. He gave you a home, friends, the horn, food. If he didn't like you, he'd treat you like actual shit.
In fact, even with the abuse. He'd probably be a step above the princesses. Discord, in truth...let's you do whatever you want. You could probably take a dump on Twilight's food and he'd have himself a gigglefit.

You know you've come to this conclusion before. But you began to compare it to if you had the princesses as mothers. They already pretty much tried to be in the sense of discipline and spying on you. Even if being a prince means everyone would have to do whatever you say. You'd lose out on freedoms you'd never have, and you'd have to be courteous and kind almost all the time...fuck that shit. Discord was the supreme choice, even with his shit.

You close the door gently and look over to see Cheerilee dusting off her desk. Huh, she even cleans the classroom before class. She really did take being a teacher seriously. That was really admirable.

Welp..here we go

You put on a cheery smile and a happy disposition "Good morning Miss Cheerilee!" you wave to her

She looks up from her dusting and gently spits the featherduster out of her mouth onto her desk. "Anon?...well" She giggles "How nice to see you. Though, I think you may have come a little earlier than you may have wanted. School hasn't started yet. Is there any special reason you came by so early?"

You nod, and then reach into your bag for your homework. You then waddle over to her desk and drop it off. You do it as cutely as possible. Which earned you a more vibrant smile. "Can you take my homework before I explain?"

She nods "Of course I can, but don't tell me you only came early to explain your homework. After what happened yesterday, I'd say you need as much sleep as you can get. There's nothing wrong with it, is there?" She immediately starts to look at it. Aside from some bad writing, though nowhere near as bad as before, it seemed just right.

"Actually, it's about my father."

Cheerilee holds her wince, and keeps her smile so you don't feel disheartened "Oh..well, what about him?"

Even though she was smiling, she was already worried something bad happened. But she wouldn't assume. She was wise enough not to make any baseless assumptions lest she worried a foal. Still, if it was Discord. Whatever you had to say...it could be really bad.

"Well, he was wondering if you'd give him the opportunity to teach a very special history lesson" You give her a cheerful smile as you say this

Cheerilee leaned her head back as she gave you her best "Wut" face. "Excuse me? He wants to what?"

"...Teach a history lesson to the class" You keep up your best smile as you wag your tail. "He wants to explain the history of his rule in Equestria. Isn't there like, barely any information on it?"

Cheerilee...did not like this at all. The grim nature of her face showed it. "..There isn't...all that is known is that he ruled Equestria for awhile before being sealed by the two sisters. And then again by Princess Twilight and her friends...and well. I'm sure you know the rest. Anon, I can't just let him teach a lesson on his history."

You tilt your head cutely "Why not?"

"..Because......." She didn't want to insult him in front of you. He was still your father after all "..He's not qualified"

"Well..I guess. But you don't need qualifications to teach a history lesson when you were actually there, right? And besides, when would we get an opportunity to learn about Equestria when my dad was in power! Don't you think it'd be exciting to learn?"

"Exciting? Maybe.." Cheerilee was trying to reason with you, she didn't like the idea of it being "exciting" "But Anon, we are already behind and I think it'd be better if we just stuck to the lesson plan. Please understand, it's nothing against your father" She lied "It's just...well..." But she couldn't keep it in "I just don't trust him..."

You made a pouty face at her "You don't trust my dad?...really? But Miss Cheerilee, you have taught everypony about the history of evil guys like Sombra, right?"

"Yes...but again, there was known history behind it all Anon. With your father, it's just...it doesn't seem very important"

Dammit...you can't fail this. What else could you try? "W-well, it'd just be for the first half of class. And uhhh, if you think about it. You'd be the first teacher to allow a lesson on the chaotic rule of my dad. Doesn't that account for something?"

Cheerilee sighed "Anon, as prestigious as that would actually be. There is still one problem"

"What's that?" What else could there be?
"Well, your father does tend to not tell the truth very often. How would we all know what he is saying is the truth?"

....shit..she had a good point "Well...how about this then..He's actually right outside so. How about just talking to him? See if something can't be worked out"

Cheerilee didn't look like she wanted that at all, but she was trying to be nice about it "Anon...I just don't th-"

"Pwwwwwwwweeeeeeassseeee?" You give her big shimmering eyes as you lean closer to her, sitting on your rump while being a tad jumpy. "Pweety Pwease?"

Cheerilee let out a soft groan. She started to weigh the decision before her. She could try talking to him, the history on his rule of Equestria could be...important...but then there was the fact he was a gigantic asshole and it most likely would explode in her face. There was also the fact that she knew you were putting up a front. She's seen you enough to know you're not acting like yourself. "Anon.....You're trying too hard. You don't think I know you're putting on an act?"

that makes you wince, but you'd rather try than fail... "...Just a little, I really do think it'd be interesting. Please...just talk to him. And if you say no.."

"If I say no" She interrupts "Will he take it as a no or will he make a mockery of my classroom and put your classmates in danger.?"

You take a deep breath,and prepare your answer. "I don't think he'll do that....Come on Miss Cheerilee, Just try talking to him....please? And if I'm wrong...you can give me a buttload of Fs"

Cheerilee sighed, she noticed you were really really trying. She didn't want to do it. She knew she shouldn't. Especially with how big an ass he is. But what if she was wrong?....She never really gave Discord too much of a chance. Even though he was being a douche before she could even give him one. "Anon, I'm not going to give you Fs unless you academically deserve one." She sighed "Ok....I'll talk to him. But this is the only chance I'll give him. If he decides to be childish, then he can do so somewhere else."

YESSSS! "Thank you Miss Cheerilee! You won't regret it!"

You rush over to the door and open it. But before you could step outside to lay down the ground rules. Discord took the advantage and stepped right on through upon the opening of the door.

"D-dad?" You had to step back so he didn't push you down. But the way he stepped in. "Dad?"

He stepped in in a very calm manner, looking upon a book on his paw as he adjusted his glasses with his talon. "yes, son?" He says in a calm and nearly bored way.

....While Cheerilee looked a little stunned by it all. You already knew this was some sort of ploy. "Uhmm...nothing. Miss Cheerilee said she'll talk to you though"

"Did she?" Discord shrugged and made a seat for himself in front of her desk and sat down. "Is this true, Miss Cheerilee?"

"Uhhh..yes...Discord?" She peered at him with caution "May I ask what you are doing?"

"Sitting..." He says as he closes up the book and poofs it away as he looked upon Cheerilee with a calm expression.

"No..I mean, you're not acting like yourself. Is this some sort of trick?" Cheerilee was looking around, shifting her eyes for any surprise.

"I should feel insulted for that remark, but I suppose my earlier actions would cause such suspicion. No Miss Cheerilee, there is no trick. I merely wish to professionally tell the historical tale of my rise and fall to your wonderful students. It's a story not even my child knows in full. Consider it a contribution for the misdeeds of my past. Including the other day, I was still learning you see."

"Yes but, that was still unsatisfactory behavior. " Cheerilee reminds him

Discord sighs in a regrettable sense "I am truly sorry if I caused you or any of your students distress"

"Discord, just beca-....wait what?" Cheerilee was just shocked form what she just heard.

you weren't. You were just sitting there trying to guess what the bullshit was. Hell, you hoped he told you the fucking truth about this whole lesson thing.

"I apologize..." Discord states "And I promise it will not happen again. Miss Cheerilee, let me be frank. I'm a spirit of chaos in which nopony has ever gotten to know until I was once again freed from my prison. My history...well..nopony even bothered to learn about it. I'm a mockery, a joke, and it hurts me so that not one creature in Equestria cares to know even a single shred of information of what happened during those times"

Cheerilee couldn't tell if he was bullshitting. But that was because, as a teacher...it was kind of bad that an actual part of Equestrian history was..for the most part..being intentionally skipped. "Discord...I want you to look me in the eye. and tell me this is all the truth" She gave him a hard stare

You had to stifle a laugh, that was a mistake, this fuck feels no guilt 95% of the time.

"It's the truth" Discord gave her a frowning stare"Please Miss Cheerilee, I only need to do this once. With proper notes taken, I'd never have to tell it again"

Cheerilee was fighting with herself. Maybe this was a good opportunity on getting a history lesson in that nopony else would know about. It was a unique experience. Part of her however, felt this was the wrong idea. Especially with how things went on his first appearance in Ponyville. It was possible that she already experienced the history as the way he was taken down by Twilight and her friends may nearly match his first actual defeat to the princesses. "Discord, let me ask before I make my decision. Is your history in any way at all similar to when you took over Ponyville?"

Discord gave a slight nod "There are some similarities yes. But only some. A thousand years does tend to change how things go though. What, do you think it's exactly the same as when I took over Ponyville?"

"Yes....Yes I do." Cheerilee nods

"Well, it's not." Discord took off his glasses to clean them "a thousand years is a long time for ways to change. Not to mention Princess Celestia and Luna dealt with me in their own way. That part is actually very important"

"I see...Discord, I'm sorry, but I'm having trouble coming up with a yes. It seems important, and I'd love a chance for my students to learn something new. But, I need a promise. I need a promise that accounts for your very integrity. A promise as meaningful as it is to fill young minds with everything they need to know as an adult. a Teacher's oath kind of promise. Can you make that promise?"

Discord puts his paw to where his heart would be and nods "Yes, I can make that promise. And I do promise. You have no idea how important this is to me"

Cheerilee was summoning up all her willpower for this "Then....alright, if you can be just as well behaved during the lesson as you are now. Then, for the sake of learning. I will allow it."

Cheerilee prepared herself for Discord to jump, act out, or shake her hoof until it falls off. But he just nodded and said "ok"

"Ok?..that's it..really?" She asked, still at caution

"Mhmmm" He simply nods

Oh damn, he was playing for keeps this time......wait. Was he actually going to teach the lesson or was he gonna go full retard?..nah, he had to be fooling her. You just couldn't see him doing this one hundred percent legit. Not at this point.

Cheerilee hazards a cheerful smile "Well then, I'm actually glad to hear that. It really puts my mind at ease to know you'll be cooperating Discord. I even have to thank you for this wonderful opportunity you are giving my students."

Discord raises his paw up and smiles "No need for thanks, it's for the students after all."

"Still, it is really wonderful to have such a rare chance to have a forgotten piece of Equestrian history be told. Especially in my class. Oh, but Discord...you don't mind waiting until class actually starts do you? It will take some time. I came early to get everything cleaned up. I haven't had much time to do after school cleaning lately"

"Oh, I don't mind waiting..in fact" Discord snaps his talons. A huge light envelopes the room.

"Gyah!" You fall back with a yelp

Cheerilee covers her eyes against the flash. and when it's over. she lowers her hoof and looks around. The classroom was now....perfect. "Discord...The classroom" She was stunned, she even rubbed her hoof across the desk to check for dust, there wasn't "It's..perfect"

Discord grinned "isn't it? A special gift to the perfect teacher who allowed me this momentous opportunity"

"Discord..." Cheerilee giggled "Don't say that, it's not true"

"Well, considering I find you perfect, and I have lived long enough to see many a teacher come and go. I think I have a right to say you are perfect. Don't you think?" Discord leaned in, his stare almost seductive in a way.

Cheerilee began to blush in embarassment "ok ok, don't overdo it. You already convinced me to let you teach the lesson"

oohh...god "Dad, can you not do that?"

Discord turns around to look at you "Do what?"

"Y'know" You roll your hoof around to try to emphasize your choice of words "Act all...that way?"

"What?" Cheerilee asks

"I believe he thinks I'm trying to butter you up for a date." Discord smirks, nearly evilly.

"W-what?!" Cheerilee looks to you and shakes her head with an embarrassed smile "Anon. I think you're the one overthinking. And...ohhh..I-I don't mean..erm" Cheerilee was afraid that you had been wanting a mother "I mean...Anon, how about we just...erm...Well. Why don't you take a nap while I check over your homework. I'm sure you're very tired from waking up so early"

You open your mouth to speak...but....what were you going to say? You were pretty tired. You were only up because you literally sprung out of bed. Hell, what were you even saying? You walked right into that one. But you only even mentioned it because you were afraid Discord was going to overdo it. He sure showed you...

"...alright..I-I guess just wake me when class starts....I guess" Fucking hell, why did you even say anything. He obviously had things handled.

You just put your head down and rested. While you napped, Cheerilee and Discord continued their discussion. Discord basically keeping things rather calm and chill. Talking about how he hopes he doesn't bore her students with some of the more "important" details.

Comments

[zaku666]

...fuck it, we gonna ship this too

[Vision]

I starting to think, that point of view gun from hitchhikers guide to galaxy movie could've fix everything with Chrysalis.

[Kichi]

Why is that I can imagine Twilight as a special guest.

[batran]

Someone is gonna open it

[RemareShadows]

A date with chaos.

[Thenewbluebrony]

Discord smirks and lays down on your bed as he rests his head on his arms. "Oh, why that's simple. The ex-captain is a being of chaos now. And due to his Changeling origins, he feeds off chaos itself. No matter how badly you blow him up, as long as his essence can absorb chaos, he'll come back, stronger than ever, making your efforts futile. So I'd recommend keeping that window closed if I were you"

so a dbz abridged chaos sayian