• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,516 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 139 - The Nightmare Night Arc

Where to start?...where to start. This was either going to turn out really good or really bad. But, Celestia seems like a caring, motherly type. She shouldn't get too angry if you explain things properly. "Well, it's quite the story actually. It actually depends if you want to hear all the details"

"I need to hear everything you know." Celestia says very bluntly. She was looking at you with a soft sternness, like a mother looking at their child after they did something wrong. But was already willing to forgive. You really hoped nothing bad was going to come of this. But that was wishful thinking.

"Well, you remember when you and the other princesses sealed all the changelings up?"

Celestia nods "I do, but. I have a feeling there's a little more to this tale than that. Something that tells me that the incident in the Crystal Empire wasn't exactly their fault."

"H-how do you figure that?"

"The queen of the changelings is a lot of things. But I doubt she'd come up with something as convoluted as sending in a drone to disguise as Twilight. Only to then slowly disguise himself as you. And leave various pieces of evidence that it was you and Discord's fault. Doesn't that seem a little too farfetch'd?" Celestia gives a small giggle to try to lighten the mood, she noticed you were a little tense "Or perhaps I'm just looking too deep into things"

No..she was right...you sigh, and lower your head. resting your head down on the bed. and looking up at her face. "No...you're right. That drone was not a drone. That was me. Discord sent me in there as Twilight to find out what Cadence was hiding from Twilight. But...he already knew about that. The real reason he sent me in there was because of something to do with my skills or..something. I don't know. The point is when everything went wrong. He spinned the story around to blame the changelings."

Celestia nods "I see. I knew there was something suspicious about him just handing us the location to their hive. But, I let it slide because it needed to be done"

"But...they didn't do anything"

Celestia doesn't even say anything. She just looks at you, a little confused. It was like she just wanted to say "You can't be serious".

You look down again, and clear your throat "...Right, except for all their past crimes....well, it turns out you guys didn't actually seal her up. She had a proxy inside the tower to pose as her as she went out and did other things. And when she found out what caused the banishment of her hive. She came to my house to..welllll...." You slide your hoof along your neck, and make a "hhhhccckkktt" noise

"But Discord intervened" She says

You nod. "He did. And against even my own advice, he brought over ALL the changelings and sealed them up in the basement instead. He even plans to let Chrysalis out as my sister. Sort of a joke on both of us. Of course, he'll put a spell on her to severely limit her powers"

Celestia shook her head slowly, and frowned "Anon, you know I can't just let that happen. I'm going to have to order Discord to rebind them back in Tartarus. They are too dangerous to be left under his care."

That, to you, actually seemed like a good idea...if it wasn't for the fact you were already befriending Chrysalis more and more with each meeting. You felt conflicted. Yeah, she was a villain. But you'd feel awful if you just let her get sealed now. Especially when there's a chance to redeem her.

Celestia notices that her decision troubled you instead of relieve you."Anon, is something the matter? I would have thought my decision would have made you happy."

"...." You sigh, you wondered how'd she react to you being Chrysalis's friend. "....Look, I know. I know their track record with you all. But..."

"But?"

"But...I sort of made friends with Chrysalis."

Celestia shows more concern in her face. Now she was extremely worried. Her immediate thought was that she was using you. But for what? she didn't know. She knew Chrysalis couldn't hold you ransom. Discord was too powerful for that.

So, instead of guessing why. She decides to inquire into it, and gain more information. "Friends? Anon, I know you must know that is a little hard to believe. She's manipulated and tricked many ponies before you. How can you be so sure she is actually your friend?"

"I just feel that she is. It was rocky at first I'll tell you that. She WAS fooling me at first. But, we managed to find some common ground a little later on. All I had to do was look past the fact that she's evil. And we just sort of hit it off. She drains me of my love sometimes, but that's fine. The effects are only temporary. And all things considered. She's actually fun to talk to. In fact, I think I could redeem her."

"Redeem her?" Celestia had to stop to think about this. She had never known Chrysalis to be upfront or actually friendly with anybody without an ulterior motive. But what could she get out of you?...Unless. "Anon, has she asked you for anything? Has she tried to take anything from you...even once?"

You shake your head. "Aside from my love? No. And I know what you must be thinking. You mean my horn right?"

Celestia nods "That horn has a lot of power in it Anon, even if it has a single charge per day. That's enough for her to cause some serious damage should she get her hooves on it"

"I know, but. She's never actually gone for it. Princess Celestia, your highness. I mean this with the utmost respect." You take a breath. Hoping this wasn't going to tick her off. You hesitate. and look into those soft eyes. She did say be truthful. That's what you were doing. And it was clear. Just like Twilight. she was going to want them banished. And she had the authority to do it. But those eyes..they reflected a protective nature. "But...I can't let you banish them. I think I can reform Chrysalis. I think I could make her see the pony side of things. I think I could make her see that friendship is magic without her having some ulterior plan to just use me and anypony else for some evil plan. It's going to be a slow process. But I already have her friendship. And I believe...I truly believe...it's genuine."

You raise your head, and look at her. You didn't want to seem like you were purely going against her. That wasn't it. You just wanted the chance. You managed Starlight, how hard could Chrysalis be?

Celestia said nothing at first. She slowly got out of bed and walked towards the archway leading to the balcony. She was looking outside, to the beautiful sunny day. She was looking quite majestic when she was lost in thought.

You hopped off the bed, and slowly stepped up to her. You didn't know if you should say anything. Or reaffirm your position. She was obviously thinking deeply...carefully.

"Anon, you do know that if Chrysalis is planning something. That it could endanger all of Equestria. Right?" She doesn't turn to you. She just looks on ahead. into the sky.

"I...know. I know what she's capable of."

"And you think I should risk everypony's well being over this? Just because you feel you can change her."

Well..when she puts it THAT way. That did make you feel a little hesitant. But still. "I know that sounds bad. But, think of all the good that could come if I manage it. I already genuinely feel a connection with her. Who knows? me and her can become best buddies and she and me and Twilight, you, Luna, Discord, we could all go out for drinks one day..right?” You chuckle nervously. "Just a little thought, yeah...you know..good humor...stuff....mnnnn"

She didn't laugh, she didn't turn her head, she just continued to look. She didn't answer for awhile. You were wondering what she was going to say. You felt a tenseness in the air. You knew you couldn't go against the final word of a princess. You couldn't just use your magic or have Discord do something about it. This was the near literal god of Equestria. Or whatever passes as an immortal god anyway.

Finally, Celestia speaks. "I'll make a deal with you Anon. But only because I too have made such a risk. I'm sure you know I was the one who decided to let Discord free. Right?"

"Yeah, I know about that. I admit, that seemed a little crazy...umm..no offense."

Celestia let's out a small dignified laugh. "Of course...but" she stops for a moment. "This is just as serious, and I haven't the proper insight to know if this is even a good idea. But...I'd like to put my trust in you. Though, don't think it's because of just what I've gotten from the letters. Since I know some of it WAS acting. No, this is from the fact that you've managed to reform somepony who if left to her own devices. Could have brought devastation to this land. What she took from the archives were texts only a master in magic could actually find useful. So I could only assume she had the ability to use them. So, this is the deal..." You stand to attention, not wanting to miss a single word. "We will keep this between us. Just you and me. Nopony else is to know, though in time my sister will have to learn of this as well. I will allow you and Discord to house the changelings. And I will allow you to attempt to reform her. On one condition"

"What's that?"

"If she so much as plans an escape or a conquest, or it turns out she was using you or Discord to make her own evil desires a reality. You are to tell Twilight immediately. And answer any question she asks truthfully."

Ouch, that would no doubt lead to major sperging. "But, what if she only does it because she needs the space..or something. You know, if she left, but then came back. Or had one of those moments where she realizes she can't carry it out? You know..Discord..sorta had that type of revelation too."

You knew you were overstepping, but come on. That's how it usually happens. That big final revelation. Shit, it even happened to the Grinch.

Celestia unfortunately, shook her head and turned to you. "I'm sorry Anon, but one of the major differences between her and Discord is that Discord was never necessarily evil. Cruel, yes. But he was the same as a child with too much power. Only looking for the next pleasure. The Queen of the Changelings is a malicious monster who takes great joy in causing suffering...and understands the suffering she causes. Anon, you need to understand that even I know I shouldn't be allowing this. That is why I need your word. On the first sign of trouble, you need to tell Twilight. Do you understand?"

Damn, that's fucking heavy. She was clearly struggling with her own decision. She didn't truly know you. She knew you weren't a real pony. But she was trusting you in a way that if you fucked up. You'd probably never be able to re-earn it. If you kept your big mouth shut. Then she'd never have to know. Though, if she ever did find out after so much time had passed...well. You were lucky she was doing this much for you.

You'll take it, it's the best you could ever hope for. "Yes...and thank you, Princess Celestia, for the trust." You bow respectfully to her, you know that was a decision made as a Princess, and not as just Celestia. And given all what you've seen from documentaries and shows and all that shit. That was something you show respect to.

"It's a large trust Anon. one, that I hope will never be abused or tarnished."

Hell, you'll even give a salute. To show you could be trusted...despite the fact you blabbed in the first place. "Yes Princess. I thank you for the honor." The only thing left on your mind was...well..Luna. Considering she knows everything Celestia knows sans Chrysalis. You were wondering how she felt about all this. "Umm, Celestia..if you don't mind me asking. What does your sister think of all this?"

"Luna? Well...." And without warning, right behind her beyond the balcony. The sun and moon started to cycle crazily. Day night day night day night day night. Geez, it was like a slot machine. You could only guess who was doing that.

Celestia looked upon the ever changing horizon. "Anon, all I can say about my sister is that you'll see her in time once she knows of it. She'll want to speak to you as well. For now however, it seems your "father" has regained all his power."

You could hear screams of terror coming from the ponies in the castle city..or was it a town? You never really knew. Seemed more of a city anyway.

"CELESTIAAAAAAAA!" Discord appeared in a burst of flame. Hovering above the city town and at least one hundred times his original size. He looked pissed. His voice boomed across the land.

oh geez, welp. He knows he lost.

Celestia stepped forward to face him. "Discord, really? Is that necessary?" She did sound a little agitated. But what did she expect? How could she see him not reacting in a big show of chaos and anger.

"You bet your frozen garter belt it is! How dare you claim victory over me in a dream! You cheated! You dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, DIRTY CHEATER!" Discord pointed his humongous talon straight at her.

"Discord, I'm sure my sister explained to you that the venue was still in the castle. That you didn't place any restrictions on what we could do or not do is entirely your fault. And thus, causing terror among you and your son was all we really needed to win."

Discord bared his teeth so hard they shattered, then immediately regrew. "NONE OF THOSE ARE GOOD POINTS! THE POINT IS I WAS SUPPOSED....oh, hi Anon" Discord happily waved at you, his vicious visage disappearing instantaneously. You nervously, cringily smile and wave back.

Discord then looks back to Celestia, Fire bursting from every which way "...TO WIN! YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER WON HAD YOU FACED ME PONY TO PONY!"

Celestia was showing some extreme patience because she could clearly see and hear her subjects being scared shitless. "You had your chance Discord. You could have realized it was all a dream and taken the win. It's not mine, nor is it my sister's fault that you and Anon didn't realize it." Then Celestia smirked at him "How could you? You never even realized you were asleep. So you tried to think of everything as a logical occurrence. And do you know what I find funny about that Discord?"

Discord was shaking with rage, his eye twitching. "Don't say it....DON'T SAY IT!"

"What? That logic, your very vice, was your downfall? Or was it the fact that me and my sister enacted more chaos in what would be considered moments compared to the chaos you cause in a day? Oh I know!" Celestia's smile became more smarmy for what she was about to say. "Or maybe it's the fact that scaring you is as easy.......as pie"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!" Discord grabbed his head and fell back screaming as he started to deflate like a balloon and fly all over the place until he fully deflated off into the horizon.

After she was sure he was gone, Celestia looked down on her waiting, scared subjects. "Greetings everypony. I know what you have just witnessed is very frightening. But as you can see everything is alright. And if you were scared in anyway. Then that's good. It is the eve of Nightmare Night after all. Now please, everypony go along their day. And prepare for a very frightful evening."

You slowly walked over to the edge of the balcony next to Celestia. You could see many of the adults either scared still, some chuckling, some going back to their normal day. And a lot being pretty snooty about it. The foals though. They were jumping, clapping, and seemed to be talking among one another about the event.

"And then they all went about their day. That's a lot of trust they have in you Princess Celestia."

"It comes with time, leadership, and managing to keep the balance of harmony for many many years, Anon. It is a trust I never want broken. If ponies can't trust in their leaders. Then all it brings is chaos."

You couldn't help but feel the double meaning to that. She obviously was putting major trust in you, and really doesn't want it broken. And she was clearly emphasizing it.

Celestia walked back into the castle, you silently follow her. She pulls your saddle bag from the side of her bed and brings it over to you using her magic. "Here you are Anon."

You take it, and put the saddle bag around you. You were guessing it was time to go. "Well...um, thank you Celestia...erm..Princess Celestia." You bow again in respect.

Celestia looks at you, confused. "Oh..did you think I wanted you to leave?"

"Sortof...I mean, you just gave me my stuff back.”

Celestia nodded and smiled "I know, I'd actually like a chance to see your costume outside the dream. To get a good look at it. I actually thought it was interesting. No doubt there's a great backstory to it. "

She wanted to see the Big Boss costume again? Hmm..well then. You reach into your saddle bag for the horn. "You're actually interested about the costumes background?"

Celestia nodded "I am"

Celestia plops her butt to the ground, and gets ready to listen to your thrilling tale. She looked quite girlish, she was beaming with anticipation. "Considering what we found in your dreamscape, I have no doubt that humans have very exciting stories to tell."

.........to tell....hmmmm. You don't say anything. Instead, you just take out the horn. Plop it on your head. And wait, wait until she was confused and intrigued. You didn't even go into costume yet.

She did tilt her head a little at your pause. But she politely sat there. Waiting.

Good enough. You didn't know if you could actually do what you were about to do. But first things first. The costume. You cover yourself in the aura as you once again become Big Boss.....This time, while having the eyepatch. Making sure you actually keep your eye this time. "So, if you're wondering. This is Big Boss....but as a pony."

Celestia nods "Big Boss...got it. Though, You humans have very odd attire for what essentially is a crime lord"

........ugh..

You do your best to ignore it, ignoring your overwhelming desire to scream how he wasn't a crime lord. Just sorta a warlord. "Yeah...well, he's actually a lot of things. He's got a really REALLY complicated background. Hearing it from my mouth would only be missing a ton of details."

"Well, start from the beginning. I won't mind if you miss a detail. I'm sure in the long run I'm in for a very exciting story."

...Heeeeeerre we go. "Yeah, but. I think there might be a better way to learn the entire story of Big Boss...and others."

Celestia was now genuinely confused. "Another way? Ohhhh, you mean there's books?"

"Uhmmm...let me just show you" Here goes nothing.

You focus, you focus on the one thing from your old world that always brought you joy. Right in front of Celestia's eyes. You create a huge flat screen HD television with a battery attached to the back, a Gamestationbox....just because, and the entire Metal Gear Collection from the MSX to the PS4. Hell, the thing will even play ghost babel.

Celestia was amazed and confused. She's never seen anything like this before. It almost looked like a black projector screen to her. "Anon, what's all this?"

"It's something that would let you experience the entire story.....cause um....it's all from a video game series."

"Video games? You mean like our arcade games?" Celestia was even more deeply confused. As it turned out. Arcade games in Equestria would appear to be Frogger tier of graphics. Well, you didn't know that. But given Equestria's random state of technological wonders...

"Sort of...but uh...just watch. Trust me on this, watch..and be amazed" You say the last bit like a showman as you use your magic to slide in MGSV. If only to show her the graphics. "So..what you're about to see is the fifth game. But it comes right before the actual first game."

Celestia says nothing. This was beyond her knowledge. And she figured it'd be easier to learn if she just watched. And would save her questions for afterwards.

You get the game running. On this machine, it just boots instantly without load time like an SNES. And as the intro gets going. Celestia just stares in amazement at what she was looking at. She even puts her hoof on the screen. "Anon....this is incredible....it's like watching a memory. But...how is this all a game? I don't see how it's possible."

You use your magic to skip right to a playable section to the game. The quick change is enough to surprise Celestia and question what she was seeing when she saw Big Boss...or rather...Venom Snake just standing there. First, before she even mentioned why he was standing there. She realized something rather important, something related to you. "Anon, is this Big Boss...a human?"

You nod. "Yep, that's what humans look like. Though, video games tend to make them look a little cartoonish or just really good looking."

You start controlling the controller via magic to move Venom Snake around.

"He's moving now....are you doing that?” Celestia asked. She couldn't not ask questions. She tried not to. But it was just amazing to her. In all her years, she'd never seen anything like this.

You nod. "Yep."

"But how do you make him do so many motions at once? His legs and arms. Or when you are looking closer through that odd telescope" Celestia was moving closer to the screen, edging ever so slightly.

You made sure to avoid enemies or anything violent. "This controller, it allows me to control Big Boss and do whatever I need him to do within the game's programming. I'm...not going to show off too much...but you see how I'm sneaking up on that sheep?"

She nods. "I do...Anon, the more I look at Big Boss. The more I realize. He's almost like a minotaur...but his head. and his legs. Are utterly different. Are humans descended from Minotaurs? Or do they not exist in your world?"

You would think she would automatically assume there we're totally different creatures in your world. But given the similarities and your ability to adapt. Aswell as it being the same language. And hell, even with the Sheep on the screen. No....yeah...that's probably why she'd assume that. further noted by the fact she knows of the inter-dimensional theory. "Sort of. In our world. Minotaurs are myth. And the story for that is because a human....sort of...you know.....with a cow. and well...yeah"

Celestia stifled a giggle "That's some interesting mythology you have in your world Anon...oh..you've reached the sheep. What are you going to do with it?" Celestia was beside herself. She was expecting some amazing human magic. Instead, you just manage to attach the Fulton and let the sheep fly in the air.

"And there we go, I got a sheep"

Celestia didn't know whether to gasp or to giggle. That seemed hilarious..but the poor sheep. "Ahrm...I hope I don't sound idiotic Anon. But this all never truly happened right?" She was doing her best to be dignified, holding back that grin.

You nod. "Yeah, none of this ever happened. It's based off a few things. But it's all generally make believe."

Then Celestia started to laugh "Good, because that was really funny, hehehe"

You giggle a little bit with her. But you knew in your gut that maybe, in all actuality. This was actually a shit idea. "Actually Celestia..." You shut off the game. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea..."

"Why not? I thought that was amazing. I want to see more! Please?...pretty please? I'll give you some of my cake" Celestia bats her eyes at you and pouts.

HNNNNNNNGGGGGGG....but no. You gulp, and stutter a little. You didn't want to disappoint her...but damn. "No, Celestia seriously. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea. These games. They have a lot of things you wouldn't enjoy."

Celestia was genuinely curious on what you meant. "What do you mean? I know attaching a balloon to a sheep is a little mean. But it is all make-believe"

"Yeah but...it's a little more complicated than that. You see, these games have a lot of death. And killing. I mean, their nowhere near as bad as some other stuff we got. But, there's a lot of things in this that a princess of your stature would find horrible."

Celestia didn't say anything for a little bit after you said that. She just looked around a little, aimlessly. Thinking deeply. She looked a little concerned. Of course she would. This world is pretty innocent. You didn't want to introduce such a thing. "So then, in these series of games. there are terrible acts that are committed."

You nod. "Yes"

"Including death.."

You nod. "Yes"

"Anon.....I've....lived a very long time. I have fought in many battles. I have witnessed friends pass away while I live on, I have seen how war can destroy lives. I don't know how much you know about the first battle with Sombra. But it was a battle we nearly lost. And even then, we had thought he had gotten the final hurrah by taking away so many innocent lives. And although the Crystal ponies were never truly gone. All those who fought and were lost will have only known the terror of seeing the empire vanish. The atrocities I've seen are things that I would wish upon nopony else. Even I am not innocent. I banished my own sister. And had things not gone the way they did, I shudder to think of what would have happened...but whatever I would have to suffer. It would have been deserved"

.....goddamn...that's heavy.

You were dead silent. The way Celestia just said that was in a deep and serious tone. To emphasize that the shit she has seen is on par with any human. She could see how stunned you were. For a moment more, she looked at you with a regal seriousness. Then she smirked, and tapped the shoulder of your foreleg with her hoof. "Also I've seen your Dreamscape...and also, technically, my sister turned me into a zombie. So tell me again how a "princess of my stature" isn't ready to see what a game holds"

........

Well, then.....you had no idea how to counter that. You just stood there, as Celestia smiled at you. a sweet motherly smile. "Come here Anon."

You don't move at first., still a little stunned at that. But then you slowly stepped towards her. "Celestia..I..just wow...I..Didn't expeWOAH!"

Celestia grabbed you with her magic and slipped you right in front of her. Resting you against her chest and neck as she once again plants her chin atop your head and nuzzles you.

You blush, once again, a warm feeling. But goddammit it was so sudden. "C-celestia...I..come on. You know I'm not a kid right?"

Celestia just continued to nuzzle. "Anon, to me, all ponies are my children. They are my responsibility to take care of and try to make their life better."

"Y-yeah but..I'm not ori-"

Celestia reaches and puts her hoof gently on your mouth. "You're not human anymore Anon, and as long as you are a trustworthy, good, and loving pony. I will treat you just the same as I would any other."

.......

She really did accept you. Despite seeing your dreamscape. Despite knowing the deception. Despite everything. She was comforting you as if you were her child. And it felt really nice...to be accepted. To be officially accepted.

So you nuzzled back. Gently, under her neck. And just let the good feelings roll into you.

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