• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,517 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 316

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Anon becomes a scaly!
Sunburst and Starlight Talk!
And Flurry gets her groove on!

You look at your clock. 10:30 PM

As you adjusted the dial once more for the Crystal Empire, you couldn't get Scoots out of your mind.

Out of the three CMC. She was the one you got along with the best.

And now? She was a rival. Which is kinda neat.

In a sense, she is your "childhood" best friend.

you didn't know how to take it, But it was pretty cute.

You hoped she would never come to find out the truth about your past. That would kill the dynamic pretty bad.

You open the door, and step through.

You were now in the empire. However, you immediately headed towards an alley near the castle instead of the castle itself.

You knew you couldn't just waltz in. If Starlight was there, she'd probably be upset that you came to check on her.

So how would you do this?

Oh..pfft. "Hah, of course. I have a deus ex machina horn. duhhhh, Anon, super easy and...er.." You look around, nobody was there.

You just wanted attention, didn't you? That’s why you always talk to yourself, right?

Nah, that wasn't it. It was just a mistake.

In anycase, all you had to do was slap the horn on your head, make yourself invisible, and give yourself sticky hooves for wall and ceiling movement.

Easy

You slap the horn on your head and cast the spell.

But after casting it, you feel...rather queezy "Ergh, what the? Why do I feel weird? Invisibility doesn't make me feel weird."

"EEEEEEK! A MONSTER!" You hear in front of you.

The fuck?

You look up, and you could see a crystal pony earth mare gazing up at you in fear.

Gazing up? Shouldn't that be down?

"Monster?!" Was there a monster behind you? Was it...lifting you up? "Where?! WHERE?!"

"Huh? N-no..you're the monster." The confused mare said as she pointed at you with a shaky hoof.

You're the monster? "Me? I'm not a monster. You're probably just confused because HOLY CRAP MY HOO..HAND?!" You had fingers, green scaly fingers. And you were standing upright. And your vision was sideways and all over the place.

And your tongue...

"See...I told you" The crystal pony rolled her eyes, calming down."Anyway….MONSTER, HELP! MONSTER!" She suddenly ran away screaming

You just looked at your "hands" in fear. What the fuck happened?! "Shit, I need to hide. I NEED TO....what?!" Your "hands" started to vanish. Or rather… "I'm turning invisible..."

You could still see your hands if you looked really hard and moved them a little due to light refraction. But you had to look really hard, it was good enough for what you believed needed to be done.

You then realized what you had become. "Woah...I'm a fucking chameleon. COOOOL!...what wha?!"

The crystal pony rushed back with a couple of guards. They were right in front of you, but they couldn't see you.

"I-I swear! It was right here!" The mare said as she looked around. With you right in front of her.

The guards' tension lowered as they laughed to each other silently and told the mare that maybe it was a little too late for her to be up.

As for you, you silently cackled as you slipped away. Amazing, you could move pretty fucking quick for a chameleon. You were able to skulk about on the walls and floors quickly like a bug. And your scaly feet didn’t seem to cause any noise as well. Perfect.

You darted around unseen until you reached the castle. Hell, it was easy to slip through the doors, especially since the castle had like four entrances from the underside of it.

But when you got inside. You could see a few guards patrolling about.

Ok, it was time to see what you could do with these hands of yours.

You gently place one on the wall and plant it firmly, then pull gently.

There was a viscous goo coming from between your hand and wall.

Your smirked as you wiggled your fingers and placed your hand back on the wall and started to slowly adjust and climb.

This was badass.

You wormed your way up to the ceiling and began to crawl on all fours.

Though, you had no fucking clue where you were going. All you had to do is see if there were any room with lights on and hope it wasn't Cadance and Shining Armor's room.

Weaving through the castle was easy like this. You didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone and you could move pretty quick, even while on the ceiling.

As you traversed the castle, you noticed beautifully stylized double doors with light shining through.

Ok, just be careful opening it, and it should be fine.

You open the door gently from the ceiling and crawl inside.

Behind the doors was a vast library. And in this library, you could hear..YES! Jackpot!

There was Starlight and Sunburst, chatting it up as they sat at a table filled with books.

But what were they talking about? You wondered.

You jumped onto the ground and crawled towards where they were talking.

When you arrived, you could see them sitting across from each other at the reading table.

"....I'm sorry, Starlight. Oh my, I really am. If I had known, I would have tried contacting you in some way. I never knew it was THAT bad. I only had what your friend Anon had told me. And erm...it already sounded pretty bad.." Sunburst said as he drank from a cup from what you presumed was tea.

"Don't sweat it. Really...I just want to get past that and....wow" Starlight just tapped her cup "We've been doing this for hours, haven't we?"

"......" Sunburst just stared forward. Blank eyed until he sighed and slumped. "...yes"

"I mean, it's nice that we got past the whole....ummm." Starlight was at a loss for words.

"I think we're still trying to get past the parts where we messed up and….erm….Well, I abandoned you and you did that...thing you don't like mentioned" Sunburst too, didn't seem to know what he was doing.

"Yeah....Sunburst." Starlight sighed "It's really good to know you're still the same guy I knew as a foal. I came here because I wanted to move on from this. But all we've been doing is apologizing…..For the past two hours"

Sunburst took a sip of his tea to calm his nerves "Y-yes, I know. But, I also don't have much to talk about in ways of myself. I've secluded myself for a very very very long time. And then, well. I'm a magic adviser now...That’s erm…..about it"

"Well, that's great at least. You get to work with royalty and you get to live in the castle and your house whenever you want. In a way, you became successful. That's..something, right?" Starlight gave him a sheepish smile as she used a spoon to stir her tea.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I-it's certainly an honor alright. But I have all this knowledge and no skill in using it! Ugh!" Sunburst slammed his face onto the table and just kept it there "You're the real star, Starlight. You've always been better than me at magic. And now? Y-you're just really incredible. I'm.." He slowly looked up at her, feeling ashamed of himself "Surprised you didn't want to accept mayorship in that town you mentioned."

"Oh...I'm..." Starlight dropped the spoon she was using to stir the tea as she looked down, feeling some shame herself "I'm not cut out to lead anypony. I was never really destined for anything great..."

No...NO! "But that's wrong!" You yell out, then back off a little, realizing you spouted some words.

"H-huh? Wrong?" Starlight looked to Sunburst. confused.

"I erm...Did I say that? I-I guess I did...actually" Sunburst pondered on it. "I think you are wrong. You made friends, you even made genuine friends with the princess of friendship herself! And her friends too. You're even friends with the spirit of chaos's son. Who...erm, well, when I met him one on one....he was kind of..rude? I think that’s the nicest way to put it...I think."

Starlight giggled "Yeah, he's a bit of a weirdo. But I owe him a lot. Things probably would have been a lot worse for me if I never met him. I mean, think about it. I had this whole major evil plan. I probably would have either ended up in prison or....or...erm..never mind" She looked away, nervous again.

"Well, then..to Anon" Sunburst raised his glass "For bringing us together again"

Starlight slowly holds up her cup "To Anon."She then begins to slowly smile

Awwww. You did good, Anon..you did good.

Starlight and Sunburst take a sip, and put their cups down. Then silently stare at each other.

Sunburst "What now? hrrrnnn...WAIT! Wait! I think I have something! Perhaps, it'd even be something you'd like and hopefully not scare you away."

"Not scare me away? That already sounds scary...what do you have in mind?"

"Something from our past." Sunburst looked to the books around the library and used a simple telekinesis spell to bring in a bunch of books to the table and stacks them up. "If we're agreed that I'm well read in magic, and you're well versed. Then let's just study until we fall asleep. Like we did as foals. Maybe that will calm our nerves because..." Sunburst looks at his cup, is was empty, and yet he still felt jittery "This isn't helping."

"Sunburst..." Starlight slowly smiles at him "I'd love to. It'll be just like before. Except our parents won't nose in on us this time"

"..Our parents did like to do that..." Sunburst said, as if he was having a bad memory

Starlight interrupts him "Sunburst" Starlight giggles "Let's just get to work, huh?"

"Right, let's start with this one" Sunburst picks up a book and walks over to Starlight to read the book with her.

And you?

You sighed. Maybe Starlight didn't need you here after all.

But the way they thanked you. You felt good that you were at least needed.

You were sure, when you both meet again, she'll tell you all about this.

You couldn't stop smiling. But best to leave before you accidentally reveal yourself.

You head back through the halls of the castle, trying to reach the main room and then exit through the doors. You seemed to have gotten a little lost, still, at least you were relatively safe.

No guard could see you. What chumps.

However, it seems you were coming through a more heavily guarded hall as you heard the cries of a baby.

A baby?

That baby?

The guards tensed up when the cries became ear piercing, and started to disperse just a bit to get away from the noise.

Interesting.

Time to investigate!

You head to a pair of very grandiose doors and sneak on in.

Aha, so this is indeed the source. You were in Cadance's and Shining Armor's bedroom. The last time you were here you were kinda tied up.

You could the baby’s crib not too far off from their bed. And man, was Flurry crying up a storm.

"D-don't worry, honey, I got it this time" Shining said groggily as he slowly got up and yawned as Cadance twitched in her bed.

You started to slowly make a climb up the wall and dragged yourself close to the crib as Shining used his magic to bring Flurry close. He sat and took her into his forelegs and rocked up and down.

But something was off. At first she was quieting down. But then, you swore, you just swore, that she took a look at you. She then started whining again and hugging onto her father. Hiding her face.

Did she see you? No, that's impossible. You were invisible.

"It'll be alright. C'mon, Flurry, your dad is here. Hmm" Shining pondered as he slowly looked over to his wife "Cadance?"

She didn't respond.

Shining slowly put Flurry back in her crib as he smirked "Alright, I know what you want then." Shining whispered as he reached from under the crib and pulled out a comic book "The exciting conclusion of Power Ponies versus Dr. Inferno. But we gotta be quiet, Mommy would get mad at me if she knew I was reading this to you. You ready?" He smiles as he gently pokes her nose.

She giggles at first, even nods. But then she slowly peers back at your position.

Were you being loud? Was that it?

Maybe you were releasing some heat or something. Whatever, it was probably nothing.

And what’s with Shining? Because if it's one thing you knew for sure. Is that Shining shouldn't be reading ANY comics to a baby.

Not because of the baby. But because comics have sucked shit for many a year. And Power Ponies? No, to be more exact, a comic made by ponies? No doubt had to be trash tier.

And no pony princess deserved to grow up to be a trash tier nerd.

Something had to be done.

You slowly began to climb up to the ceiling as Shining quietly read to Flurry and showed her the pictures of the comics.

She seemed to be half paying attention. Dammit. you had to be quiet, she was taking glances at you every so often. Were you even making noise? You couldn’t hear shit, and neither could Shining.

Ok, all you had to do was whip your tongue down at the comic and bring it back up.

No one would even be able to figure out what happened.

You hold in a snicker as you slowly open your mouth.

And as you opened it. Flurry slowly began to fly up out of her crib, and hovered over to her father.

Holy fuck. She can do that already? And so well? That's pretty overpowered.

What's worse. Now he was quietly giggling and repositioning himself to show her the comic as she hung from his shoulder.

Now you had to be careful, he had the comic close to himself and her. Close so she can constantly see all the pictures, but in a position that one bad tonguelash would compromise your position.

Ok, then.

You started to slowly come down towards the closest lower wall and positioned yourself to be right in front of Shining and the comic. All you needed to do was shoot between his hooves, pull back, done.

But then Flurry began whining again. Climbing to his upper back, Shining let out a tired sigh. But then smiled as he got up and slowly laid on his belly on the floor to continue reading to her while she rode his back. He carefully laid the comic on the floor to read as she looked over from time to time and cooed.

Was she? No, she couldn't be strategically forcing a repositioning to make you miss your mark.

It's fine. You'll just have to be quick.

You quickly climb to the ceiling again, ignoring any noise you make as you prepare a quick tongue lash. You'll immediately shoot out your tongue once you reach your desired position.

Straight down, that's all you had to do. Straight down.

But then it crashed, and burned into some invisible barrier right above Shining. You brought your tongue back in and whined in pain as you felt small painful jolts shoot through you. What the hell happened!?

"O-oh. What was that?!" Shining whispered as he looked back at his sleeping wife "Cadance?"

No reply.

"Weird. Well, I guess that's what lack of sleep will do to you. Flurry, are you ok?" He says as he looks back at her.

She was focused. Staring. her horn was glowing as she looked straight up at you with a scrunchy face.

Shining looked up, but he didn't see anything.

"Oh, don't worry, Flurry Heart. There's no evil doctor dragons up there. It's chill" He says to her, which prompted her to smile, throw her hoof out like a flying super hero, and then lay on her belly on top her father's back as she giggled. It warmed his heart. "Alright, we're almost done. Looks like you're getting pretty tired, huh? Don't worry. Almost done" He says as he goes back to reading.

There's no way it could be her. Was it Discord? Or maybe your tongue didn't go that far. And it hurt if you brought it out all the way, it seemed.

But you were determined to make sure Shining knew that he should just read her normal fucking books. And not fucking comics.

You moved back to the wall and slowly inched down.

But Flurry peeked out from between Shining's ears, eyeing your every moment.

Just ignore it. go for the comic.

You were closer now. Close enough that you shouldn't have a problem.

When you gazed at the comic, Flurry started to make noises.

Not whines, not coos, but rather angry murmuring. And her horn started to grow brighter and brighter by the second.

The fuck?

"Flurry? Flurry Heart? Are you ok? Oh man, I hope this wasn't a bad idea. Your mom would kill me if she found out I traumatized you by reading a comic. I'll just..." He started to put it away. But Flurry broke her attention and reached for the comic and whined.

"Huh?" He held the comic close to her, she smiled and pointed at it. "Oh? So you do want me to finish? Weird..." He took another look around "Really weird. Got this feeling we're being watched" But then he shrugged. And went back to reading the comic for Flurry Heart.

Then when he went back to reading, she darted her eyes back to you.

Ok, no. She MUST know you were there. No question now. Well, the only question was how could she see you?

You whisper very silently. "You'll thank me for this later. Trust me" You aim your trusty tongue and shoot it out once more.

But then, before reaching the comic. Flurry's horn glows bright as some invisible force catches the end of your tongue, preventing you from pulling back. "Gmna?! guh?!"

Was it her?! Dammit! How could she be doing this!?

Shining stopped, he heard the noise, but didn't know what was going on. So he looked around again. "H-hello?"

Flurry only giggled as she flung you up by the tongue and slammed you into the ground, head first. "OGH! Ohhhhhhnnnmnnnn"

"Oh man. Ok, maybe I do need more sleep. I swear I can hear the fight between the power ponies and Dr.Inferno in my head" Shining said, scared that he may have been too sleep deprived.

Flurry laughed at you as she pulled you back up and span you around in mid air as she clapped her hooves.

Shining just looked back at her with a smile "Atleast you enjoyed it. Ogh, you ready for bed Flurry? Daddy is pooped"

But she wasn't done. She flung you hard onto the ceiling.

"O-ohhh. Why? I was only..trying..to" But you wouldn't have time to finish that sentence as Flurry Heart released a powerful magical blast. So powerful, it shot itself, and you, through the ceiling and towards the icy mountains as you screamed in hilarious agony. And waking her mother of course, not like you had time to notice. "AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Your screams filled the night sky as you arced up then down towards the snowy mountains and crash landed near the peak.

The thick snow formed the shape of your chameleon body as you smashed through it.

When you reached out from the snowy hole, you realized you couldn't really get a good grip on anything. You changed back into a pony it seems. "N-ngh..T-that.....is the scariest...fucking...baby...e-ever."

You slowly began to pull yourself out of the hole, twitching in pain. "ngh, t-this is worse than the chimera. Nobody can ever k-know that I lost to a fucking b-b-baby"

When you pull yourself out, you only end up sinking back into the snow, making a pony shaped hole.

You groan. "...fuck"

As you trying pulling yourself out again. The chill of being so high up in a snowy mountain began to pierce your body. "F-fuck. I-I need a way out. I-I'm gonna die out here if I can't get some water, b-but..where am I going to find some?"

You look around at the snow around you. Them scrunch your nose at your own stupidity. "...Right..."

You pile up some snow under you and start smashing and grinding your hoof on it to produce as much friction and heat as you can until you make a small puddle under you. "P-Perfect!"

You sigh, and look up into the night sky. "...nobody....can ever know"

You throw your map into the puddle and dive in, landing back first into your warm bed. "Ahhh! Now this isWREGAWFDWF" From above, A small avalanche of snow followed you through the portal, All of it landing on top of you.

The snow quickly melted from the magical warmth of your bed as well. Revealing a very soaked and very grumpy you. "....fuck it...whatever. I'll be dry by tomorrow"

You put the cold blanket over you, and shiver as you try to sleep. "Stupid baby, stupid magic, stupid snow, stupid water, Stupid....stupid stupid..."

And you lay there, grumbling and being stubborn as you try to sleep. It wouldn't take long for the water itself to become warm through the bed’s magic. But you were still soaked, and it made things uncomfortable.

God, how would Diamond react if she knew you lost to a baby?

No, what about that other you? Motherfucker. Bet he's laughing at you right now. "...Stupid..."

and that's all you pretty much repeated to yourself as you finally drifted off to sleep.

Tomorrow would be another day.

At least...Starlight is ok.

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