• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 11

Rainbow Dash wasted no time upon exiting her home as she hovered in place for a moment. And then plummeted down at a sudden ridiculous velocity. The fillies gasped, but of course… you knew better.

Rainbow Dash, despite her quick speed, manages to stop on a dime right before hitting the ground and gently plants her front hooves first. And then looks at the fillies with a smirk "Did somepony call for me? Heheh"

The three cheered at the "amazing" sight. Scootaloo greeting her immediately and asking how she managed to stop so suddenly.

Rainbow Dash rubbed her front hoof on her chest and then nodded to herself with pride. "Easy, I just pushed my wings with enough force to stop my fall right in time. I know, It was awesome. But what do you expect when it's me?"

You rolled your eyes. You were sure other pegasi could do that. The three fillies however were all over her like white on rice after that display.

"Woah woah, hehe. Calm down girls. relax. Trust me, you want to save all that energy when I perform at the Friendship Fair....whenever Twilight gets that set up." Dash said.

Friendship Fair? hrn....You wondered if that was what Twilight was working on when you had visited her with Discord. She did seem busy.

"Are you going to the castle right now Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo looked up to her with lost eyes, she was a fanatic "You don't have to go right now, right? We want you to meet somepony!"

Rainbow Dash looked around, and spotted you sitting away while you just looked at her. "Oh hey… a little colt. Let me guess," Rainbow Dash looked down at the three "Got ya a new member to the club huh? Weird, never seen him before."

Applebloom took a moment to trot behind and suddenly push you closer to the group.

"H-hey, what are you doing?!" You protest.

"Come on Anon, we didn't bring ya to just sit away from us. Come on and meet Rainbow Dash."

You tried to push yourself in the opposite direction. But damn, Applebloom was strong for a girl. "I-I'm fine where I'm at! Come on!"

You struggled to no avail as Applebloom pushed you right up to Rainbow Dash… God fucking dammit. Now you had to talk to her.

Rainbow Dash just looked down at you, and her cocky smirk turned to a softer smile "Yo, you don't have to be shy ya know. I won't bite. So what's your name, squirt?"

"It's Anon." You just look up at her with unsure eyes. If you had to be this close to her. You had to continue your "actor" role for now.

Rainbow Dash seemed confused by that name "Anon? what? Never heard that kind of name before. Where ya from?"


Rainbow Dash looked puzzled by that statement as she looked around. "A little far away from home, ain't ya?"

Applebloom chimed in "He's an orphan who recently got adopted! So, he's livin' in Ponyville now! Isn't that great?! "

Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement, and wraped her leg around you and brought you closer for a quick hug "You bet that's great. Ponyville is one of the greatest places in Equestria...Mainly because I live there, but ya know. That's obvious." Then she looked down at you "So, Anon. You’re just in time. I'm in a really good mood. And I wouldn't mind showing you and the others a trick I've been working on for the fair."

Scootaloo once again, got excited. She was elated that she was going to get a personal first peak at Rainbow Dash's show. "Really Rainbow Dash?! You'd show us?"

" Let's just call it a special "Welcome to Ponyville" present" Rainbow Dash winked "Of course, gotta generate some super awesome hype somehow. Besides, I think Anon could use a little Rainbow Dash in his life."

You wanted to sigh. But you didn't. You didn't want to cause any trouble. You also came to the realization that you knew an entire board of people who would have creamed themselves to hear that statement from the pone herself.

You minced your words. And did your best to speak without sounding frustrated. "You're too kind Rainbow Dash… I'd love to see this trick. Being an orphan, I don't get to see a lot of cool things..."

The truth was you could care less. You were never a fan of any kind of air show and you've seen enough fireworks to last you a lifetime. Things didn't change. RD to you was just a meatbag replacement for an airplane with a grating personality. And you've watched the show enough times that even personally seeing her drop from her house to the ground was nothing special. No, you more appreciated Music, Art, Magic… and fire and explosions.

"Ohhhhhhh boy, you all are in for something super duper AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash shakes her flank as she positions herself to jet off into the sky. "...and..away..I..GO!"

She sprang off, with enough force that the grass spread from the small shockwave she generated. You all looked up at her as she started to fly about in the clouds until they started to follow her like lost kittens. She maintained a breakneck speed as she occasionally made a sharp U-turn to bounce and kick the clouds following her to combine them together as they continuously gave chase until they became that of a snake.

Rainbow Dash then suddenly flew upwards in a quick burst of speed, leaving the snake cloud behind as she looped behind it and flew through it. Opening it up like a pipe. And she continued to do this, sometimes spinning like a drill through it.

Eventually the clouds started to turn dark and stormy. The CMC ooohhh'd and ahhh'd While Sweetie Belle got a little extra worried and called out for RD to be careful. Scoots of course was so riveted it looked like she was going to shit herself.

You just stared. You just couldn't get excited for this. Perhaps it was bias. Perhaps not. But it just didn't captivate you.

Soon enough however, the cloud was shooting off lightning every which way. And yet RD passed through each time, unharmed. You looked over at the CMC. Each one now were getting worried and scared. With one final pass, Rainbow Dash once again, hit a ridiculous speed as the cloud started to burst from behind you. Creating spark balls that exploded in mid air. And once she reached the tip of the cloud pipe. It exploded with a huge shocking blast that sent sparks flying everywhere. It was a giant fireworks show that made the CMC cheer in wonder and delight… meh… you could have done that if you were a unicorn. Besides. You've seen fireworks do all of that except for the electric orb thing.

Rainbow Dash slowed down and gently brought herself back down to the earth. and gave all four of you an arrogantly prideful grin ".....And that's what I call "shock and awe". ehehe" She giggled at her own pun.

"THAT WAS AMAZIN'!" Applebloom called out



"....ummm… yup, that was pretty cool." You didn't sound nearly as enthused as your fellow peers.

Scootaloo immediately took notice and took offense as well "Pretty cool?! PRETTY COOL?!" She hopped over to you and flailed her front hooves upwards like a mad man, looking at you with crazy excited eyes "THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING THINGS EVER! HOW COULD YOU NOT GET EXCITED?!"

You gulped, holy shit. you had to lean back as to not be hit by her flailing limbs. "Hey relax, it was just pretty cool to me. Besides, uhhm… umm… you know..I..I haven't eaten. Kind of hard to get excited when you’re hungry… you know?"

Scootaloo immediately calmed down hearing that. Boy she felt silly. "Oh… why didn't you eat breakfast?"

"....I...didn't get the chance."

Rainbow Dash was overhearing the conversation and had noted your lack of enthusiasm. She was up to something as she stepped up to the two of you "tch, or maybe you saw a flaw the others didn't see. Alright then, I think it's time for a little classic. Anon, are you ready… for the… SONIC RAINBOOM?!"

Scootaloo jumped up and cheered "YEAH! SHE'S GONNA DO A SONIC RAINBOOM!"

...That wasn't going to do anything. But why not. You should at least experience her signature move. "Yeah, sure. Let's see it."

While the others were unaffected. Scootaloo seemed shocked that you were so nonchalant about this. And Rainbow Dash herself seemed a little shocked that you weren't jumping up and down. "Do you know a pony named Maud by any chance?"

...Oh god… come on, you weren't that stoic were you?

You shook your head "Nope."

Rainbow Dash pointed to the sky "Look, just make sure to look right there. Because that's the point where I'll hit the "AWESOME" and magic will happen. Trust me, once you see this...you'll wonder what you have been doing with yourself your whole life." Gee Dash, way to hype it up in a positive light.

"I'm ready." You kept your eye at the point Dash pointed to as she again prepped herself and flew to ridiculous heights. In the next moment, she went from going straight up, to straight down. And as she reached terminal velocity. She managed. Right at the point she had showed you. To break the sound barrier and produce the Sonic Rainboom.

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle of course cheered. But Scootaloo didn't. She was fixated on you, and the fact your dulled expression hadn't changed. You just weren't impressed. Even seeing the Sonic Rainboom in person. It was the same thing you saw a million times before. It was just a Sonic Boom with color. It wasn't really magical as it was just a natural occurrence with some of Rainbow's colory… thing.

When Rainbow Dash came near. You decided it was time to just clap and ACT excited. You just wanted her to be pleased so you could move on with the tour. You also hoped it'd please Scootaloo. Unbeknownst to you however. She can already see through your ruse.

"Woo! That was super amazing! Gee Rainbow Dash! That was the coolest thing ever!" You said in false delight

"I know, I know. I should have realized nothing can top the classics. Well, I gotta get going. I'm glad you all enjoyed the show. Now remember, don't tell anypony about my new trick. If anypony noticed from far away and asks about it. Just tell em I was just working on a local storm. Got it?" You all nodded. "Oh yeah, And Anon? Welcome to Ponyville. You're gonna love it here. Promise."

Well… ok. That was actually nice of her. Still. In anycase, you all say your goodbyes as Rainbow Dash hurries off to Twilight's castle.

"Well… that was really something, huh?” You mention

Sweetie Belle nodded "Yup! I can't believe we got to see a preview of one of her new tricks! See Anon, one of the perks of being a Cutie Mark Crusader is getting to see stuff like this."

Nice angle Sweetie Belle, but you weren't that easy. "Yeah, gotta admit. It's a great perk."

Applebloom however. when she peered over to Scootaloo. Noticed she didn't have a cheerful expression. and instead seemed fixated on you. "Scootaloo? What's the matter? Why ya lookin at Anon like that?"

Scootaloo said nothing as she walked up to you, and brought her face to yours. Looking dead center of your eyes,

You got nervous and blushed. W-was she going to kiss you?! You weren't ready for this! OH GOD!? "U-um..S-s-scootaloo?"

But she didn't kiss you. Instead, she spoke. Her voice sharp as daggers "You weren't excited at all, were you?"



"Don't play dumb. I was looking at you during the Sonic Rainboom. You didn't even smile. or get blown away or anything. You weren't blown away at all. So what gives?"

Oh shit… she was looking at you? Fuck. You were sure she was looking in the sky the whole time. You step back to make some space between you and her. "I was just stunned I guess. I never saw anything like that before"

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle noticed their friend suddenly seemed agitated. Applebloom stepped closer to Scootaloo and grabbed her upper shoulder gently "Hey Scootaloo, relax. He looked excited to me."

"No, he wasn't. During the Rainboom he just looked at it like it was nothing! He insulted Rainbow Dash! He lied to her!"

Oh for fucks sake. She was going to make a big deal out of this?!

Applebloom looked to you "Is...that true Anon?"

...No hiding it now. Scootaloo caught you. You took a breath. "Yeah it's true...look, I don't see why it's a big deal. I just wasn't impressed. Aren't I entitled to that opinion?"

Applebloom nodded "Well yeah, I'd think so. It's just… kinda odd you would lie about it, I guess"

Sweetie Belle then stepped in "I know! You just didn't want to insult anypony. Right Anon?"

that was part of it yeah. Sounded good anyway. So you nodded. That should end it right there...
it didn't.

"How could you not be impressed?! Everypony who is anypony is impressed by the Sonic Rainboom! Heck, that was THE big reason Rainbow Dash and her friends got their cutie marks! It's that amazing Anon, so how could you?!"

Applebloom tried to calm her friend down "Hey Scootaloo, ya gotta relax. Anon just ain't impressed by it. Sometimes somepony’s got different tastes. No reason to get all bent outta shape."

Scootaloo looked to Applebloom in anger "But it's Rainbow Dash! He lied to her too! And he did it so easily, What if he's lying about other things?!"

Sweetie Belle joined in in trying to calm her down. "Come on, Scootaloo. Don't you think you're overreacting a little? You heard him. He just didn't want to hurt anypony's feelings."

You nodded along. "Yeah, I mean. Look how bent out of shape you are Scootaloo. I saw how big you were into Rainbow Dash and I didn't want to upset you. I guess I failed at that, huh?" You tried to sound as sincere as possible to defuse the situation. And looking at Scootaloo, she seemed to be relenting. But she still looked upset.

"Yeah… Well, you shouldn't lie then..mnn. I just don't see how you couldn't be impressed..."

"Well, I am from Phillydelphia..haha..you know. Even my name is weird, hahahahaha!" You faked a big laugh to try to get her to chuckle. She didn't. "haha...ha...hrm..ahrm ahrm...u-umm"

Sweetie Belle interjected quickly "Aha! umm! Hey, You know what we all need? Some lunch. How about it everypony?! Doesn't that sound great? Didn't you say you were hungry Anon?"

Sweetie belle for the save. "Y-yeah, I didn't get any breakfast. Any place in mind?"

"Well, there's a hayburger place back in Ponyville. We can all go there for a bite to eat! You're hungry too. right Applebloom? Scootaloo?"

Applebloom nodded "I ahm sorta hungry after all that excitement. It might be what we need to cheer the mood up to. What about you Scootaloo?"

Scootaloo shook her head "No..I'm not that hungry. But if you wanna go. Don't let me stop you. I'll...umm" It took Scootaloo a moment, she was trying to think of a reason not to come along. "See if I can't check out what Rainbow Dash is doing. I wanna see more of her tricks."

Applebloom cocked and eyebrow and gave her a smile "Scootaloo, if you know all the tricks now, then how are ya gonna get excited for when she does em at the fair?"

Scootaloo shrugged "I'm not gonna look at all of them. Besides, maybe I can help with a few. I got some pretty good ideas."

Applebloom nodded "..I guess, just don't get in trouble or nothin' alright?"

Scootaloo nodded. In truth, she was just leaving because she didn't want to be around you at the moment. Petty reasons to be sure. You had an inkling that was it. But you believed she was just leaving for Rainbow Dash as well.

So the party split. Scootaloo headed for the castle while you followed Sweetie Belle and Applebloom to get some eats. You were internally begging for Discord to pick you up at some point. You didn't have any money. So you had to hope they had some to pay for you. But mostly, you just wanted to leave. Scootaloo being upset rubbed you the wrong way. You felt a little bad. But you couldn't get emotional. She was being a dipshit for stupid reasons. You couldn't give in. She should have learned to just respect your fucking decision. You weren't going to get all feelsy just because she got a screw loose. Rainbow Dash bought it at least. So you didn't have to get any shit from her. The other two though? You partially felt they defended you to keep the tour going strong. Gotta get them cutie marks.

As the three of you entered town. You looked around the area to take in the sights and marvel at the fact you were in a town full of talking equines. Though, you had gotten mostly used to it. You did feel a little bubble of excitement whenever you saw a BG character you recognized.

You also kept an eye out for Sugar Cube Corner, if anything. Meeting Pinkie herself would raise your spirits most definitely. And you were sure the others wouldn't protest. But alas you didn't see it along any the path. But you did see the burger joint. It was the one where Twilight was eating like a little pig.

Then suddenly. You can hear a voice coming from behind. It was familiar… enough to make your blood boil. "Well Well, if it isn't the Cutie Markless Cru-Failures!"

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