• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,517 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 227

Author's Note:

Tonight!

Chrysalis fools Twilight
Celestia beats Chrysalis
Chrysalis chastises Anon

There they were. Just eating together, laughing together….eating pancakes. “...Oh yes, despite your father’s jokes falling rather flat he did say one about Twilight that got a giggle out of me. I mean, it is rather odd that he’s able to maintain flight better than an alicorn.” Celestia said with a chuckle

Twilight nearly spit up her drink on that one, she held it in and gave a meek chuckle as she sheepishly said “yep...ehehe...that was a good one.”

Nymous however let out a hearty laugh “Oh my, I know I shouldn’t laugh. But that is quite funny. My apologies princess, ehehe. It was just very funny, really.”

OH god, what the fuck was going on?

“Oh yes, it was almost as funny as this one time a changeling queen attacked Canterlot. Now, the attack itself wasn’t funny, no it was quite dire in fact. What was funny was that the queen had everything. Victory was in her hooves….and she lost, just standing there because she accidently let two ponies express their love. Irony indeed, am I right?” Celestia lets out another happy little laugh.

Twilight took a moment, but then she laughed out loud herself “Oh right! Because they feed on love! That’s a great joke, princess! Pinkie would love to hear that one.”

Nymous let out one of the fakest laughs she ever produced while hiding her face in her food “he he he….hilarious…”

“Yes and….Ohhhh” Celestia turns her head “Anon, what a surprise.”

“Wow, it...actually is. Ah!” Twilight grinned happily at your early presence. To her, it could only mean one thing. “Yes! I knew you could fix that sleeping schedule of yours eventually! Great job! I’m proud of you! And you’re just in time for pancakes too! We have some a little extra if you want!”

Well, Twilight was in a good mood. No doubt due to Celestia’s presence. But...what the fuck was going on here? Why was Celestia here? “Yeah um...Hi everypony. What’s uhh...going on? Whatcha doin here Princess Celestia..erm..oh right” You do a little bow to her to be respectful. Gotta remember that respect.

“Oh, you know. Having breakfast with Princess Twilight. Meeting your sister, which I must say has been quite a pleasant experience so far. And…” Her horn lights up, a box that had been beside her on the table started to float up towards her and then you “...Returning something that belongs to you.”

Your eyes go wide….no way...could it be? “I-is that?”

Celestia nods "It is indeed my little one, after reading Twilight's evaluation. I can safely say that you have earned the right to have your horn back. I even made a small addition to it, so you can always keep it close"

"Right” ...it was yours to begin with...that's fine, now you have a way to counter Chrysalis's shit. "Thank you Princess Celestia, it's a real honor to hear that from you"

You open the box. And there was the horn. It has...a golden ring around it..

Wait, this isn't a ring, it's like a chain of some sort, a chain lined with shiny beautiful suns akin to her cutie mark. Oh....wait...

You put the horn around your neck, it was pretty loose fitting. But it worked. The horn was now a pendant. That was actually kind of nifty. "Hey, this is actually kind of cool." you smile as you give it a tap.

But wait..WAIT...don't let your mind wander just because your tired. focus on the fact that Chrysalis was probably up to no good. Focus on the fact that she basically fucked everything over. "Thank you again Princess Celestia"

"You're welcome Anon...but...I must be going soon. So there's one more order of business I must attend to." Celestia says as she looks upon Nymous, then you.

"What?! You're leaving already?! P-princess Celestia..It's not that I'm protesting or anything but...I actually was hoping you'd stay long enough for me to discuss some of my findings on the cutie map.." Twilight was already looking pretty disappointed.

Celestia shakes her head, smiling at Twilight "Princess Twilight, I do apologize about me leaving so soon. But I did say I only came here to drop off Anon's horn in the first place. And besides, I don't really know much about the cutie map myself. It is part of your castle afterall. I'm sure I'd have nothing to add on to your findings."

Twilight looked down in disappointment. She figured that was true. But she also hoped she may have had some insight anyway. Celestia was originally her teacher afterall. "Alright..."

"Don't look so glum. You're doing a fantastic job as is. Both in your research and in your princessship." Celestia gets up and steps next to Twilight to give her a gentle rub on the head with the underside of hers. Bringing a smile upon Twilight's face "Don't let me leaving so soon bring you down. Be proud, you're much smarter than I am in these sort of things"

"W-what?!" Twilight backed off "N-not as smart as-..mph?"

Celestia put a hoof gently on her muzzle "Twilight...I am low on time. And we both know you're just being modest."

as Celestia removes her hoof from her mouth, Twilight blushes from the fact that Celestia was probably right, and chuckles nervously "I-I guess."

"...Before I go however, I'd like to use your library for a private meeting with Anon and his sister. Since they are both here together, I have something I want to address to both of them"

"Really? Shouldn't I be there too?" Twilight asked, confused and curious

Celestia shook her head "No, it's just a little thing. Just enjoy the pancakes. And actually...can you get mine "To go"? Spike did a wonderful job on making these that'd I'd love to enjoy them for...Lunch maybe"

Twilight nodded "Yes, Right away Princess Celestia"

A private chat?...you wondered what she wanted to talk about.

You look to Nymous, whose expression still reflected that of a kind sister. "Nymous, you ok with talking privately to Princess Celestia?"

Nymous nods "Of course, having an opportunity to speak to Princess Celestia is such a great honor!"

....hmmnnn...a private chat with Celestia huh?.....Maybe Celestia did know...and Chrysalis..if that's the case...knew that she knew...it would be pretty obvious to make the connection.

Princess Celestia leads the both of you through the castle as Twilight gets her pancakes wrapped up. No word is said among any of you. Silence is kept.

Even as you three step into the library. No word is said. Only the sound of the door being locked magically can be heard.

"...So uh..Whatcha wanna..." You stop midsentence when you look upon Celestia. She was giving a hard long and harsh stare at Nymous.

Nymous....doing the same towards Celestia.

...oh shit.

"Princess Celestia..." Nymous says in a stoic and cold voice

"Queen Chrysalis..." Celestia greets her in the same manner.

Oohhhhh shiiit.

"I see Discord finally let you out. I'm glad he had the sense of keeping you locked into a single form...I also noticed that you seem to lack your horn." Celestia says, never breaking her stare

Chrysalis however, starts to smile a cruel smile "If you're suggesting I'm powerless...you'd be wrong. I am still a master of strategy. As you can see, I even have your precious little pupil fooled this time. I can manipulate her and anypony I wish to get my way....And you won't do anything about it. Will you?" She chuckles

"I gave Anon my word. But my word is only as good as my ability to make sure my subjects are safe. If that safety is threatened....then so is your time here in Equestria" Celestia was looking more serious by the second.

Chrysalis lets out an evil little chuckle "Oh my my my Princess. Considering how easily I fooled you last time, by the time you realized anything, I'd already have everything under my control."

Celestia's horn started to glow "Don't tempt me...I could easily stop you right here"

"But you won't, you won't because you honestly believe in Anon's ability to reform me." Chrysalis turns to you with a more sexualised grin "He's not doing a particularly good job. But there are parts I actually like,"

....you wondered about that. In fact...fuck this. "...Y'know, it's funny you say that. Because I honestly doubt any of that. Ever since Discord let you out you've been nothing but cruel. You've actively been trying to ruin my life."

Chrysalis rolls her eyes at you "Really? Are you te-"

"SHUT UP!" You yell out, not only surprising Chrysalis, but Celestia as well.

"Excuse me.." Chrysalis said with a growl "Did you ju-"

"Yes! I did" You go and step next to Celestia as you gazed angrily at Chrysalis "After last night. I now know you don't really care about me or anypony else. You just want my life to turn into a total cesspool. You don't even care if it puts you at a disadvantage"

Chrysalis was angry, angry at the fact you'd talk back to her like that. "Are you serious?! You're acting like a total ponce because you can't handle a little crush? Seriously Anon, I'm actually trying to help you and you break down because you aren't stallion enough to handle something as small as a love triangle...pathetic"

"Oh no no no" You wave your hoof as you smile a nearly crazy smile among your anger. "Don't play coy with me. Because I'm tired of it...Tell me, Just...tell me. What was the POINT of letting her in on the secret? Huh?! Do you want to drive me insane in worrying about that everypony in Equestria will know what's going on? How does that even benefit you. TELL ME! TELL ME! BECAUSE I SPENT ALL NIGHT TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT!" you exploded. And your words. Celestia was visibly concerned......and so was Chrysalis

"......what are you talking about?" Chrysalis asks.

"Oh yeah...are you going to tell me you didn't have your little rats wait for Applebloom to come by? Great plan master strategist. Except for the fact that we're both pretty much done!"

".......Anon, why in the wide wide world would I ever plan that? It was only supposed to cause you grief. NOT ruin absolutely everything I worked for! I specifically told them NOT to interfere!" Chrysalis let out a growl, then a yell "grrrRAAAAWWWRRR, ARE YOU TELLING ME THEY COULDN'T BE PATIENT FOR ONE NIGHT?! I'M SO GOING TO PUNISH THEM WHEN I GET HOME!"

W-wut? "Woah woah...H-hold on. Are you telling me that wasn't part of the plan?"

"Of course not! Why would it ever!? " Chrysalis actually looked worried, nearly panicked "How could I underestimate their hunger for real love?"

Holy shit...so it was just their fault?! "Why would you even risk bringing somepony into the house like that?! You're a changeling, the subject matter is love! You didn't think there'd be a problem?!"

"Because I knew my own children would botch things, right?! What about you? didn't you ever think of locking your door?!" She angrily tells you with bitter words

"I was asleep! I didn't think there was going to be a filly falling right onto my lap!"

"You'd think you'd be happy about that" Chrysalis said in angered sarcasm "In fact, I bet you couldn't help but put the moves on her. This is your fault!"

haha, nooooo. "What?! No, Screw you! This is your fault. You're the one who dropped the map!"

"You're the one too wimpy to sort things out!"

"You're the one who stirred her on!"

"You're the one who didn't help her sort out her feelings!"

The both of you walk closer to eachother. butting heads and pushing at eachother.
"Well you're an idiot! Just like any bug! You could have had Applebloom sneak up on me at anytime. Buuuuttt noooo!"

"You're the idiot. You can't even sort out two fillies without my help!" Chrysalis pushed back

"Help?! You call that help?!"

"I do you ungrateful little worm!"

"Well then you're super dumb then! I'm the one who is supposed to be helping you! Maybe if you stopped being a pretentious bitch you'd see that being a good guy isn't so bad!"

"I'd rather have my brains sucked out then that! Why can't you just be agreeable for once!? Things were fine before you became a grating little do gooder!"

You both were essentially roaring at each other at this point

Suddenly, Celestia broke out in a giggle. Wut? What was so funny? It caught yours and Chrysalis’s attention.

".....And what's so funny?" Chrysalis looked at her, agitated

"Everything" Celestia let out a hearty laugh "It's like watching a disgruntled married couple"

"...That isn't funny..." You step away from Chrysalis and point at her "She's doomed the both of us! How could you just laugh?!"

"I actually agree with the twerp. You don't get to laugh. Or do you forget that I can crush you just as easily as I have done before?"

Celestia smirked at her "With what magic?"

Chrysalis went wide eyed...for she, in her anger, had forgotten she was hornless. She gruffed and looked at Celestia with disdain ".....Hmph"

"That's what I thought...." Celestia then turned to you "Anon, please relax"

"Relax?! How? Princess Celestia, unless you can magically fix everything. My life is over!" You started to feel your heart tear apart "I don't want to lose my friends, I don't want to lose Fluttershy.....I don't even wanna lose that lunkhead of a Draconequus"

"And you won't" Celestia says in a warming motherly voice, it was almost calming. "If you both were any danger, then it would have already happened. If Applebloom knows and was willing to tell, then I'd assume her sister would have barged through those castle doors long before I arrived. For now, you both have nothing to worry about"

For now....?

Although you did calm down just a little from the realization. There was still the possibility she was wrong. "Princess Celestia..I'm scared...what should I do?"

Celestia walked over to you and brought you close with her magic. It felt warm, even warmer when she gently brought you close to the underside of her neck . "What you must do is up to you. It all starts with communication. If Applebloom is your friend, then she will understand the importance of your mission..." Celestia then glanced over to Chrysalis "...No matter how impossible that mission may seem."

Chrysalis grumbled "How beautiful" She says with sarcasm "Do you want to give him a treat and tuck him in at night too? You could check his closet while you're at it. Anon, that solution should be obvious."

Celestia gently put you down as she stepped forth towards Chrysalis " I've noticed you seem to have an affection towards Anon. You aren't nearly as harsh towards him as you are towards any other pony. Why don't you tell me why that is. I might be more inclined to actually help in some way since your current actions bring you closer to exile."

Chrysalis would have none of those kinds of mind games. "Don't even try to play games with me, Celestia. I have nothing to explain to you nor do I need your help. My "Affection" towards the little cretin is no business of yours. As I told him, friendship to me is entirely different from the crap you and your little apprentice spew"

Celestia noted her slight change in her regular vocabulary. She noted it because there's no way she came to say a word like that on her own. Meaning, in Celestia's mind, you did indeed have some influence...that was actually reassuring. In fact, she found that more reassuring than her stating she was your friend. Since that could mean anything. "I understand. Your fate is really no concern of mine, Chrysalis. But should you decide to renounce your ways, I would welcome you to our society"

Chrysalis turned her head and spit "That's what I think of that"

"You are aware failure to reform will only mean you'll end up in Tartarus" Celestia reminds her

"We'll see...." Chrysalis stated, narrowing her eyes towards Celestia "Are we done? Don't you have a kingdom to run....to the ground"

Celestia didn't nod, she just gave a gentle smile to Chrysalis "I really am interested to see how things will go for you Chrysalis. But on the same coin, I will not hesitate to deal with you myself if I must."

"Whatever" Chrysalis didn't want to hear any more of this.

Celestia then looked to you "Anon, I know things might seem frightening right now. But if you believe in yourself, and in your friends. Then I know you can turn this to your advantage. I mean it when I say I want to see you succeed"

..mnnnn "But what if I screw up? I don't think Applebloom is even really willing to be my friend anymore...what if she does tell everypony? What will happen to me?"

"I can't say" Celestia rather, won't say. She didn't want to change how you felt. She wanted you to do it on your own. "Your fate will be decided on what you do."

Not exactly helpful. School was nearing, and that could spell doom. Chrysalis being an outright cunt can spell doom. Applebloom can spell fucking doom. But....if you did nothing. You doomed yourself. You had to think, you had to figure things out. And for that, you'd need to do something first.

"Princess Celestia, could you leave me and Chrysalis in private? I need to speak to her"

Celestia nods "Of course, Anon...I wish you...the both of you farewell. And good luck I'll inform Twilight to leave you both alone until you're ready"

"Thank you"

Celestia leaves the room. Leaving you and Chrysalis alone.

"So Anon...What's your grand master plan, hmm? Because I'm thinking of just getting rid of her altogether. I can make that happen.."

You doubt Chrysalis was kidding or making anything close to a joke. You'd have to show her, that you were running the show.

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