• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,464 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 310

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Ghosts appear.
Anon touches a cactus.
And Discord gets angry

When you both stepped through. Discord pulled you behind a boulder to spy on the small tribe of buffalo. "Woah! hrn? Why are we hiding? Aren't we invisible or something right now?"

"No, we're not" Discord says as he brandishes a telescope and starts to spy on the buffalo. "You can't just be invisible all the time, it takes away the excitement of possibly getting caught."

Wut? "Uhhhh, and what happens if we do get caught"

Discord continues to look about "Oh, I'll teleport away while the buffalo have their way with you. Something like that. Our fun time will be over if we get caught....Well, your fun time will be over"

He was kidding. He had to be kidding. "Seriously? You wouldn't do that"

"Who knows? Maybe I would. So let's not try to get caught, shall we?" Discord says as he drops a telescope down towards you "So, what do you know about these beastly things?"

You sigh, take up the telescope and look around. "Not much. They became kinda bitchy when they lost their stampeding grounds and went to war with Appleoosa for like a minute."

You spot some buffalo sparring, others eating, some seem to be praying, and there was Chief Thunderhooves himself around the fire. He seemed to be doing some ancient chant with an old female witch doctory buffalo. No Little Strongheart though. "Hn, and there they are. doing boring shit"

"Indeed, it's making it hard to think of something brutally side splitting." Discord seemed a little upset by this. It seemed he didn't expect them to be this boring. "I could put them all in tutus, but that won't be fun, I've done that more than once already"

"Hold on, Discord. Check out the chief, he's engaged in some sort of mystical thing with that shaman chick. I'm getting an idea."

"Oh?" Discord immediately had interest as a genuine smile appeared on his face "Do tell"

"It's easy. We move in, find out exactly what those two are talking about, and exploit it"

"Interesting. But how are we to do that when invisibility isn't an option?"

Was he really not going to let you go invisible? "Ugh....Fine then. How do we get close to them?"

"Glad you asked" Discord grabbed you and held you close to his chest. "We're going to do this like this"

You started struggling in his grip as he hugged you as close as he could. "Discord! Discord What are you MPDGGFGFDgff"

"Shhhhh, they'll hear you. Now then...let's move" Discord held your mouth closed as you struggled. He then slithered from behind the boulder and through the buffalo and teepees. Then he shrunk himself and you down to the size of a pebble. So much as a pebble that the rock he dragged you to that was next to the chief was boulder sized.

"Gyah!" You let out when he finally lets you go. "What the fuck was that all- HOLY FUCK!" You fell backwards when you looked onto the "boulder" and saw a huge ass fly. "WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE FUCKING FLY!?"

"Actually, Anon" Discord grinned as he gently scratched the underside of the fly's head as it drooled "The fly should be asking that question about us. Take a look behind that boulder"

Your eye was twitching from how freaky that giant fly was. You backed up from it and craned your head to the side to see everything was fucking giant. "REALLY?! NO INVISIBILITY?! BUT SHRINKING IS FUCKING OK?! WHAT IF A FUCKING SCORPION SHOWS UP AND SHISH KEBABS ME?!"

"Hmmm, I wonder how'd that taste with a little BBQ sauce" Discord wondered as he tapped his chin, then discarded the thought as he pointed to the giant Thunderhooves "But I digress, we probably should be paying attention to what's going on"

But you couldn't look away from the fly. "You mind doing something about him first? Please?"

Discord rolled his eyes as he snapped his paws and made the fly disappear "Baby, it's like you've never seen an insect before. Which is hilarious because I can almost swear you just want to dive into a certain bug's-"

"ALRIGHT! OK! GEEZ! DAMMIT! Sheesh" You exclaim. fucking dammit. "Let's just listen in, alright? Ok? We're supposed to be a team. Just save the pranking for them....geez"

"It's called warming up, Anon. You know, a bit of a stretch for the ole chaos noodle" Discord said as he did some stretching exercises.

Yeah..sure.

You both then poke your heads out from the rock and pay attention to the shaman and Thunderhoove's conversation. "Waterbrook, you are wise beyond your years, but surely this premonition is just a dream" Thunderhooves seemed to be worried about something as he spoke

"It is no dream, Chief Thunderhooves, it is the future! I have read the stars last night and they tell me a spirit will be coming tonight. One who bears us ill will" The shaman, Waterbrook, explains to the chief. With this closer look, you could see her fur was all white, her body was skinny, unlike the other buffalo, and she had a headband. Her face fur went down in front of her entire face. Only revealing her nose.

"What should we do?" He asked

"We must prepare ourselves. I have already sent young Little Strongheart to Appleoosa to fetch the supplies we'll need. We must create an effigy of the chief long past to guard us this night." The shaman seemed very adamant on this premonition.

"Huh, do you think she means us? Weird..." You ask Discord.

"How could she mean us? We're a spirit and a human turned colt. She's just expecting a spirit. She's must be batty, that's all" Discord said as he continued spying

"Well, either way, that's a prime setup to go fucking with them. They want to make a statue of their old chief, so that gives me an idea. So get this, usually how stories and movies go is that when they don't have these things made in time, weird shit happens. So here's the plan. I'll intercept Little Strongheart. And you wait for the EXACT moment they wonder where she is to work your magic. Start off slow, and work your way up every few minutes. How's that sound?"

Discord let's out a triumphant laugh "Brillaint! But how do you plan to stall her without revealing who you are?"

"Simple. Just disguise me in a different fur color and we're good. I don't even think I'll need any horn charges for this."

"Ahh, don't get too sure of yourself, Anon. A true master of chaos knows how to handle their magic. So for you, you'll have the usual two charges for this operation. Use them as you see fit." Discord snaps his talons, changing your coat and mane into another color "Haha! Now that's a horse of a different color."

You look at your legs and tap at your chest fluff. "This'll work. But then there's the problem of actually....actually......shit" You looked around and you were in another location, and the sun was nearly down too. The area was turning red to blue as things darkened. And then you hear that familiar ringing.

You put your hoof to your ear. It was the codec.

"Anon, You should be at the interception point"

"How do you know she'll be here?"

"Questioning me already? Anon, just trust in my skills. And I'll trust in yours. Anyway, I wish you good luck. Call me if you need anything"

"Alright, fine. I'll think of something while I wait." You look ahead, you could see Appleoosa in the distance. So you had to be between there and the tribe, perfect. You ducked behind a cactus and waited.

Then you heard it. You could hear Little Strongheart rushing towards your direction. "Alright, alright. Need a reason for her to stop. A good one..."

You look at your horn, having realized that it may give you away. But when you looked at it, there was nothing there. It seemed you already had a horn on your head. Discord probably did that to make sure you were identified as a unicorn. But still...you needed something to stop her.

Then you look at the cactus. T

he cactus. "...It can't hurt that much. I've got much tougher skin than a human now....I only have to pretend it hurts...ok...ok...let's do it"

You bring your foreleg close to the cactus and wince back a few times, scared to rub against it. Eventually, as you hear her coming close enough that indecision would cause a missed opportunity, you decide to slam your leg into the cactus. HOLY FUCK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU RETARD! WHO WILLINGLY STABS THEMSELVES ON A CACTUS?! GOOD WORD, DINGUS! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" You fall to your side, screaming in pain as the needles of the cactus stuck out from your foreleg. "AAAAAAAAHHHMMNGGGGGGGGGGGGG"

Then you heard her come to a skidding stop. "Wh-who's there?" You heard her say, obviously spooked. Half of you weren't even paying attention anymore as you dragged yourself away from the cactus, moaning in pain. "A colt? Out here?! Oh no.." Little Strongheart, as you could see her now, was carrying bags of supplies on her back. She gently let them down as she came over to check on you.

"Hey! Are you ok? What happened? What are you doing way out here?" She asked you, but you continued to moan until she noticed the needles. "Oh no, there's so many of them. G-give me a little time, and I'll help you out" Little Strongheart rushed over to her supplies to take out a small mixing bowl.

She had on her side a small bag that looked like it was made of leather or some sort. She took some herbs out from the small bag and put them in the bowl and quickly smashed them up. She then rushed to the cactus and kicked it without poking her hoof, she made a hole in which water poured out. She took the bowl of mixed herbs and filled it with some of the cactus water, mixed it again, and rushed over to you. She was damned quick about it too.

"This is going to really hurt for one second. But trust me, the pain will leave you soon." She explains as she gently tips the bowl over your wounds.

HOLY FUCK THE PAIN! You jolt and scream again from the pain and start rolling around. But she just stood there.

Eventually she was looking at you with a confused expression. "Does it really hurt that much?"

"Y-yes! It's the worst pain I've ever..I've ever......wait" The pain was gone. You didn't even notice it was gone until she mentioned something. But the needles were still in your leg. "I don't feel anything anymore. What did you do?" This was amazing considering no magic was involved.

"It's a remedy my grandmother taught me that has been passed down our tribe for generations." She explains

"It's amazing"

"Perhaps, but you should sit up now. We need to get those needles out of your leg and get it wrapped up and quick, I'm in a hurry" She was on edge. Of course she was, she was trying to get those supplies to her tribe as quickly as possible.

You just had to stall her. "Alright, h-here you are..miss?"

"Oh, my name is Little Strongheart" She says as she gently grabs your hoof as started to gently pull each needle out. It didn't hurt at all, amazing. "What's yours?"

"Oh my name is...Deli...Meats" Totally a normal pony name.

"Deli Meats? Now that's an odd name" She said as she kept carefully pulling needles. "What are you doing out so far from town Deli Meats? It's dangerous out here"

"I was...umm.." You really should have thought this through. But, lucky for you. You did have something in mind when it came to the usual and mediocre kid out of nowhere trope. "I'm running away from home"

"Running away from home?! Why?!" She stopped pulling for a moment from shock. But then later resumed, now very worried.

"My parents back in Canterlot were always fighting. I couldn't stand it anymore! So I ran away to be a loner out here in the open frontier"

"I don't think that's right. In my tribe, we have a belief that all families care and help one another, but may sometimes have a disagreement. I think that's all it might be. You didn't need to come all the way out here, Deli Meats. Why don't you..." She stopped for a moment and looked on ahead. She knew she had to get the supplies in on time. But as she then looked back at Appleoosa, she knew she couldn't just leave you here. "Why don't you come with me back to town? The ponies there can help you get back to your family" She says as she finishes wrapping up your leg.

You know. You thought you'd feel bad about this. But you really have no connection to the buffalo. And since it was a prank, there was no danger of any of them getting hurt anyway. "O-ok...omph!" You stand up and let yourself fall forward.

"W-what's wrong?" Little Strongheart asked as she helps you up

"I-I dunno...I just feel really weak for some reason. And thirsty too"

"weak and thirsty..." It then hit Little Strongheart, and made her worry grow. "How long have you been out here?"

"Couple days"

Now she felt dread "...Without food or water?"

"W-well, that's why I was trying to open up that cactus...I wanted water" Haha! It's like it writes itself.

Little Strongheart goes to the supplies and takes out a flask and brings it to you "I don't have any food with me. But you should drink this. All of it"

"What is it?" You ask as you take the flask

"Water"

Obviously. But, you keep up the act, and pretend to be unable to open the cap. "I-I can't open it"

"Don't worry, I can help with that" Little Strongheart took the flask, opened it, and handed it back to you "Here."

"Thanks." You take the flask and swig down the water. But, to keep up the act, you pant and rub your tummy. "Now I just feel hungry...ngh. I can barely move.." You let yourself fall on your back.

LIttle Strongheart was in a dilemma. She knew she couldn't leave you here, but she couldn't fit you and the supplies on her back. She had to choose one. "Alright. Give me a minute and I'll get you back into town myself. I just need to hide my supplies behind those rocks over there." She said before rushing off to huddle the supplies into hiding.

The moment she was away, you put your hoof to your ear. "Discord, yo, you there?"

"Oh, these things are simply convenient. I'm surprised I never thought of making them myself. Imagine putting one in Twilight's ear. She'd never figure out where that beeping was coming from."

"Discord...come on. Focus on the prank, not on Twilight."

"I am focused, Anon. But they haven't begun to worry yet. All they are talking about is how their ancestors will drive back this evil spirit that will soon descend upon them. It's all hogwash. So then, how are you doing?"

"Good so far. I have her stalled but she's trying to get me back into town. I'm running out of ideas"

"So? Use the horn then. Things will streamline once we get things started."

"...Ahhh, I don't want to waste a charge." You wanted to save it for an absolute emergency.

"A good mischief maker knows when to use their magic and use it with efficiency. If you can't stall her, then you'll have to do it"

"Alright alright. I'll figure something out then. Anon, out" You ended the call

Little Strongheart finished hiding her supplies and came back to you as she lowered herself. "Alright, Deli Meats, let's get you back into town."

"Do I have to? I-I think I was doing fine...erm. Can I just be a buffalo instead? It seems pretty cool." You say in a whine

"Everypony has a place they belong, Deli Meats. Your family needs you, they are probably very worried. So let's get you back to town so the ponies there can get you home before anything bad happens." She urges you to jump up on her back.

"Mmm...ok and WHATS THAT?!" You point towards the supplies.

"What?!" Little Strong heart stood up and looked around, but she didn't see anything "What's wrong? what did you see?"

"I-I thought I saw a monster. I guess I was wrong"

"The lack of food is affecting your mind, we need to get you...ngh?!" She was now worried your hunger was getting to you. But now there was a problem, at least for her. Her hoof suddenly got stuck in between some small rocks. But with all her strength, she couldn't move them

Of course she couldn't. Because the rocks were actually just an edged part of a boulder hidden under the ground, bent exactly in a way to trap her. Your magic, of course, was the cause. "My hoof! Oh no...Oh no, c'mon!" But try as she might, she couldn't get loose. Not until a few minutes anyway. By then, Discord should have something cooked up

"W-what's wrong?" You ask

"My hoof is caught in between these rocks. I cannot get it out!" She tried her best, but to no avail.

You scooch over to her leg and take a closer look "Yep, it looks pretty stuck. Do you have any butter or oil?"

"No, do you see any way to get those rocks loose?" She asks you

"Nope"

"I don't have time for this. The entire tribe is depending on me!" She was struggling harder and harder, but still she couldn't do anything.

"Yep, you're stuck pretty good. Hold on, let me see if there's anything in those supply thingys that can help." You adorably waddled over to the supplies. Little Strongheart wasn't objecting at this point, anything to be free.

You went to the side so you wouldn't be seen and call Discord again. "Discord, what's your status?"

"Ohh, sounding all official now. Well, Anon, they have finally began to worry about where the supplies are. Good work, give it a minute or two, and be sure to look out on the southern horizon for my signal. It'll be obvious."

"Gotcha, I'll be ready" You remove your hoof from your ear and begin to pretend to look for something.

"Found anything yet?" She asked

"Nope, but I'll keep looking" And so you continued to falsely search. Up until the point you hear thunder. Was it time? You look back to see ominous clouds swirling in the distance. "W-what's that?!"

"I don't kn-" Then her eyes went wide when she saw where the clouds were swirling over "OH NO! THE TRIBE!" She immediately tries to escape once again, and that's when the timer you set on your magic went out. She pulled out so hard her roundish body caused her to roll backwards right into the supplies like a fucking bowling ball.

STRIKE!

You giggled silently as the top mounted supplies just fell to the ground, a large supply of molding tools bouncing right off her head. It was just like a cartoon.

"A-are you alright?" you say sounding concerned. But you were just holding back laughter.

"I-I'm fine. Deli Meats, please, you have to gather your strength and follow me." She said as she quickly started to reorganize and tie together the supplies and put them on her back.

"I dunno, what's so weird about swirly clouds and..w-w-w-woah!" The ground started to tremor, knocking Little Strongheart down on her side. She quickly got up to once again reorganize the supplies, This was pretty damn funny at this point.

And then you could hear the buffalo, even from this distance, scream like little girls and panic.

Oh man, it sounded great. You had to get over there now. "I think I can run, this seems really important. Lead the way!"

And with that word, Little Strongheart ran as fast as she could towards the village as you followed as quick as your little legs could take you.

When you both arrived at the village, it was pandemonium. Mothers hiding their children, Warrior Buffalo either hiding like cowards or swiping at nothing, The Shaman was dancing about screaming for the spirits to leave them be, and the sky was nothing but a swirling vortex at this point that was getting an odd green glow.

Little Strongheart immediately rushed towards the chief's teepee.

Discord was calling. You slipped away behind some water barrels and answered the call.

"Anon, ohhhh Anon. What do you think?"

"It's awesome, it looks like you really got them good. Their freaking out all over the fucking place."

"And this is just the warm up. But before I continue, you are enjoying this. Aren't you?"

You look back, you could see three buffalo on top of each other actually trying to spin the opposite direction of the clouds to make it go away. That's fucking hilarious. "Oh yeah, this is some good shit"

"Then it's time for phase two"

"Phase two?"

Suddenly, the sky opened up with a green light as skeleton buffalo started to run down from the sky.

The panic from the buffalo only grew as they watched on in horror.
"It's our ancestors! they are angry with us!"

"How do we fight them?!"

"Should we fight them?!"

"Quick, we must appease them with water! OR food!? QUICK, THROW FOOD AND WATER AT THEM!"

"I WANT MY MOTHER! I BECAME A WARRIOR TO DEFEND MY TRIBE! NOT WET MYSELF!"

"MAYBE I ANGERED THEM!? ME!? I DID! I HAD TO OF! TAKE ME OLD ANGRY SPIRITS SO YOU MAY SPARE MY TRIBE!" But they just pass through him. "....ok, I didn't..anger them. So do...do..do I just...I'm...no..i'm just going to lay down" The spirit fearing buffalo just laid where he stood, and sucked his hoof like a baby.

Oh yeah...this was fucking funny. They've obviously never had to deal with this before. Their own warrior spirit was shattering instantly. You wondered how Thunderhooves and Little Strongheart were reacting.

You went sneaking around the small village as Buffalo went into hiding, some tried to strike at the spirits, others lost their nerve near instantly. And the sky was just getting worse as things go on.

Eventually you found Thunderhooves speaking to Little Strongheart as she explained what happened. You hid behind a teepee as they spoke.

"Little Strongheart, what happened? What took you so long?" Thunderhooves said in a stoic fashion. Oddly enough he looked worried, but he wasn't spazzing. He was keeping his nerve.

Which is less than what you can say for Little Strongheart. "I'm sorry, Chief Thunderhooves. But..but..there was a colt in trouble along the way. He was hurt and he had been travelling the wilderness by himself for days without food or water. I couldn't just...I'm sorry" She looked like she was going to cry "T-this is all my fault. I feel that I should have just done what I was told."

"Ahh, there you are" You hear Discord from on top of your head as he moved your mane like bushes so he may look over you "What do you think?"

"It's great. these ghosts are just floating around and wailing and it's making them all go nuts. I didn't think any of these buffalo were even capable of crying. Hell.." You point to the Shaman Waterbrook in the distance. Who was dancing around like an idiot as she waved a stick around. "They really can't figure this out at all, it's hilarious. So we're going to keep this up and then suddenly leave, right? Because I can only imagine them freaking out even more trying to figure out what happened."

"Exactly, We'll stay a little longer after we put everything away just to see their reaction and....hrn?" Discord then notices Thunderhooves just looking about with a stoic face "What's with him?"

"Dunno, either he's going to explode on the girl buffalo or he's going to have the biggest freakout out of all of them. It'll be great"

"Oh really?" Discord snaps his talons as you both appear across from him and Little Strongheart. Obviously invisible as they didn't detect either of you. You were both now on lawn chairs, a bag of popcorn on your belly.

"Then let's get a good view of the show, eh?" Discord says with a smirk as he drinks from a straw.

"Oh...now we're invisible?" You say in a sarcastic tone.

"Shhhh" Discord shushes you "I'm trying to watch the movie."

"Ok, fine..." You say with a huff as you prepare for the shitshow

But Thunderhooves just continued to stare, making Little Strongheart uneasy. Even more so due to the wailing ghosts.

"C-chief Thunderhooves?" She stammered

"OH man, here it comes!" You were shoveling popcorn into your mouth. So much so that Discord passed you a drink to help it down.

"Oh yes, the fruits of our labor is about to spring up. This was so easy. The entire village will end up in a psych ward for a couple of days after this, it'll be glorious"

Both of you gazed in awe as he finally made an actual movement. This was it!

"You made the right decision, a young child in need cannot be abandoned under any circumstances. Besides, I believe it was wrong of us to try to settle this matter by summoning our ancient chief to quell the angered spirit of our own kin" Thunderhooves explained.

"....oh no" ....Nooooo, please don't let it be THAT trope...

"Oh no? What's going on? What is he blathering about?" Discord was confused.

...you REALLY hoped it wasn't going to turn out like you think it was. "...I dunno yet..."

"C-chief Thunderhooves?" Little Strongheart seemed confused herself about what was going on.

"Do not worry, I understand now. As the leader of this tribe, it is my duty to handle situations like these myself. These are OUR ancestors that we have somehow upset, and I will ask them for their mercy and try to understand what exactly has angered them. We all must stand as one. But if I can't stand as a leader, then I can no longer call myself the chief of this tribe. If you brought that child here, tend to him. I will face these spirits myself."

....oh GODDAMMIT! "Booo!" You throw your popcorn at the ground.

"What? What just happened?" Discord was heavily confused now.

You knew exactly what happened. You watched as Little Strongheart went to find you as Thunderhooves stepped towards the fire and stared deeply into it as the ghosts randomly flew and screamed.

You just plant the side of your head on your hoof, looking bored. "It's a stupid fucking trope, that's what. He saw his brethren going nuts and being scared out of their minds and felt helpless. Now he's going to stand up to our power and try to stop the ghosts."

"Well, he can't. It's up to me to decide when they go away and it simply won't happen just because he grew a few extra nerves." Discord was getting frustrated as he could see the chief speak and stare into the fire with unwavering determination.

"Relax, relax. I still have a charge left. Let me put a little human ingenuity into this." You tap at your horn and aim right at the fire. The fire turns a ghastly green as a Buffalo head with bleeding eyes and rotting skin rises from the flame. Crazy ugly insects and vermin drop from it's underside or through the holes they were boring through it's rotted flesh. "CHIEF THUNDERHOOVES! YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING. I AM THE CULMINATION OF ALL OF YOUR TRIBES FAILINGS. RESIGN YOURSELF TO MADNESS JUST AS YOUR BRETHREN HAVE"

"Ohhhhh, now that's good" Discord takes a snapshot of the buffalo head.

"I know right? There's no way he can stand against that" That was victory for sure.

But he did stand there, he didn't even flinch. "You are but a spirit of doubt, doubt I no longer have. Whatever darkness has descended here, I will lead my tribe to the light. We respect what you have done within your life. But unless you let us know what we have done, I will not just give up. There can be no peace among the living and the departed unless we come to an understanding"

You crushed your own soda cup between your hooves. "HOW CAN HE NOT BE SCARED OF THAT?! IT'S HORRIFYING!"

And even worse still. As he continued his speech, the other buffalo began to notice and stare in awe at their chief's bravery. And all began, one by one, to stand beside him.

"Anon..it's not working" Discord was getting aggravated watching them all stand together in unison and harmony.

"Hey, I just used my second charge. Why don't you do something then? Instead of complaining."

"A little destruction from the divine should heat things up! Watch this, Anon, this is how a pro does things" Discord slammed his paw digit down, bringing a lightning bolt right onto the chief's teepee. It burst into flames.


But even then, he stood proud. And the ghosts were starting to disappear.

"....Not even lightning? Goddammit..." You fell back on your chair and wiped your head as you already threw in the towel on this one. "It's over. We just helped him learn some valuable lesson instead of causing some crazy chaos"

"......." Discord sighed "Is that it? I could have sworn this was going to be easy"

"Never underestimate the power of a cheap saturday morning lesson. The guy must have been having issues about being a leader earlier."

"And what exactly does that mean for us?" Discord asked

"....It means our little prank was the challenge he needed to get himself back together,"

Discord's eyebrows twisted as his horns began to melt, his eyes bursting in flames from his fury "SO WE DID ALL THIS FOR NOTHING?! WE HELPED THEM LEARN SOME DUMB LESSON ABOUT LEADERSHIP AND UNITY?! I HAAAATE THAT! I GAVE UP SOME EXTRA TIME I HAD WITH FLUTTERSHY FOR THIS!"

Suddenly, the chairs began to catch fire. You had to hop off lest you burn into ashes. "Holy crap! Discord, calm down!"

"CALM DOWN?! CALM DOWN?!?!?!? I'LL SHOW YOU CALM!" Discord roared as he zipped into the sky and turned into a colossal buffalo ghost....oh no

"CHIEF THUNDERHOOVES! SO IT SEEMS YOU GREW A BACKBONE! BUT ARE YOU READY TO FACE OFF THE GREATEST OF YOUR ANCESTORS? CHIEF BALLOONBUTT?" The Discord Buffalo Ghost roared to him from the sky.

The other buffalo began murmuring to themselves. Hell, you were trying to fucking figure out what he was doing at this point. Balloonbutt? Seriously?

"Chief, I am afraid I've never heard of you before" Thunderhooves replied.

"OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T! MY GREATNESS WAS SO LEGENDARY THAT I HAD MYSELF STRICKEN FROM SAID LEGENDS AS TO GIVE YOU LESSER CHIEFS A CHANCE! BUT NOW I AM HERE AND I AM ANGRY! AND I DEMAND RETRIBUTION! NOW!"

The buffalo seemed to be getting worried again. But Thunderhooves, still, did not falter. "I understand. All I want is peace. Please tell us what we have done to upset you."

The buffalo ghost pointed to a small box next to a teepee "THAT BOX HAS BEEN THERE FOR A FEW DAYS AND HAS BEEN OBSTRUCTING MY VIEW OF THE GROUND UNDER IT! I WANT IT MOVED!"

"....That's it?" Thunderhooves asked

"THAT'S IT!" The ghost yelled.

"...Ok then." He nodded to one of the buffalo, who moved the box very slightly. "...Do you feel better now?"

"YES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" And then the ghost disappeared as the sky became calm and clear.

Discord appeared beside you with an accomplished smile on his face...wut? "...The hell was that?"

"Well, if I wasn't going to be able to spook them. Then I'd at least force them to move something just because I told them to. All in all, I'd call this a successful night." Discord said with accomplishment plastered on his face. "And look at how confused they all are. I'd say I managed to recover this entire operation. give me some hoof" Discord holds his paw out at you.

...Every part of you told you you should just walk away from this fucking disaster. But then you heard Little Strongheart screaming that she lost you, and she was running around in a panic. Heh, watching her sperg about the encampment did feel like a pretty nice consolation prize. Fine....you'll give it up for Discord. "....Ok, now it's good" You clap your hoof at Discord's paw

Discord gave you a warm smile as he snapped his talons, making you both appear in your room.

"Ya know, it wasn't that bad. That was fun." You say with a content smile

"It was. But do you know what the best part of it was?" Discord said as he snapped his talons, changing you back to normal.

"What's that?"

"That we stuck with it until the end. You and me, Anon. Sure we didn't get the exact results we wanted, but it was fun nonetheless."

"Yeah, it was kinda fun. And while short, we did pretty good together. You know, it's exactly what I needed actually."

"Oh? And how's that? champ" Discord said as he stretched his talons up and down. Then clipped the edges with the claws of his paws.

"I feel better. A lot better. I guess I really was focusing on Chrysalis too much. And look, things worked out for the buffalo because Thunderhooves came to believe in himself...even though I had no idea he was having doubts. All I need to do is believe in myself and things will be fine." It seemed this was a lesson for you as it was for the chief.

"Good! That's very good to hear. Especially since tomorrow we'll be attending that silly little parenting class. Remember, for Fluttershy, we need to be all smiles."

You yawn as you climb into bed. "Yeah...what about Chrysalis though?"

"You let me worry about that, Anon." Discord puts your blanket over you and gives you a gentle pat on the head.

"Alright. and come on, cooome on. I'm not actually a colt, you know." You gently bat his paw away. Not too hard. His affection wasn't that bad. Just a little embarrassing.

"Oh, but you are, at least in body, and as part of the family......" Discord stops as he realizes he was about to get super sentimental "Ok, let's stop right there. I've had too many mushie moments with you for one generation. I'm off to bed."

....awww. "Alright...good night. Seeya tomorrow...Dad."

Discord stopped before he teleported away, and looked to the side "You really don't get it do you, I said I'm not going to be mushie right now...son"

You smirked. "I think that last word was enough. I just hope everything really does go well tomorrow. Try to go easy on Chrysalis, Huh?"

"I might. Sweet dreams, Anon" Discord says as he does a simple single wave

"You too"

And then he left. And sleep time came once again.

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